#I KNOW YOU DIDNT TECHNICALLY TAG ME THIS WAY BUT I REALLY WANTED TO DO IT PLS DONT @ ME ILY

[triglycercule]

horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)

horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)

[serialkilluh1996]

𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑™

König x new guitarist-female-reader; sfw

Warnings; slight mention of injuries to fingers

Summary; König aids his musician girlfriend (short but sweet)

It wasn't easy learning guitar. Sure, remembering keys and hand placement was easy, but there was a price to pay for such a godly talent. Your hands. From your fingertips to your fist, all the way to your palms. Even with practice, there was no avoiding the physical pain caused by the chords. Even with a pick, your knuckles would brush against the strings, gingerly brushing the skin right off. And, sliding your fingers up and down the fretboard for long periods of time was bound to cause calluses.

In the end, you were left with the sore hands of an elderly carpenter, despite your lack of work in that field. But nothing sweet old König couldn't handle. You couldn't contain your bashful smile as he lathered your aching hands in Vaseline, making sure they were nice and moisturized after your lengthy session.

"Is this, eh, hobby of yours really worth your poor hands, darling?" He does his best to hide his scolding concern, wanting to be as supportive as possible so as not to deter you from your dreams. He didn't want to make you feel bad, but König prayed you would consider the technicalities of such a skill.

"I've always wanted to do this. A few bruises and sores aren't going to hold me back from my goal, König." You assure him. "Oh, and what is this.. goal of yours? To fuck up your hands worse than mine, hm?" He teases, earning a reluctant chuckle from you. "Very funny. Listen, I love you, but you can't talk me out of this. I'm determined." "An odd way of saying stubborn, but I won't beat a dead horse. What's the saying? You can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink?" He taps his chin.

"What is it with you and horses?" "Oh, nothing, liebe. But you owe me for this service. I expect very special payment that doesn't regard cash of any sort." He squeezes your palms, making sure the substance deepens in your dry skin.

"I want you to play a song for me." He smirks, flattering himself at the thought of his beloved performing for him. "I don't know how to play any songs." "It doesn't have to be anyone else's," he gestures to the notebook on your desk, "Write one." "I've got no inspiration," he sighs at your constant disputes. "Excuses, excuses, schatze. I'll be your inspiration. Your muse, even,"

"You can write me like one of your little French girls~" "I'm pretty sure the phrase is, "Draw me like one of your French girls"?" "Ah, who gives a damn? I only watch Titanic through occasional ganders at the screen when you binge it. The point is to keep you creative." He pokes your noggin, almost like he was going to telepathically lend ideas into your brain with the touch of his finger.

"I'm very creative, thank you. Just tired. A little rest and I'll be writing songs in no time. Right now, I just need to figure out the keys." "Schatze, liebe, darliiing. You've already figured out the keys. You know your hand placement. You have come so far already where i wouldve given up the second it didnt sound like an angel's melody. Don't belittle your progress." He squeezes your cheeks. "You must promise, and I mean promise, to never EVER doubt yourself or your milestones again. Okay?" He stares with raised, slightly arches brows into your eyes with an almost begging look. "Okay, I promise." You snort at his puppy dog look.

I hope you enjoyed this and you can find more fics of mine for this character under the '#☆könig' tag. You can support me by liking, reblogging, commenting, and many other forms of engagement. Remember to stay hydrated, stretch your limbs, and if all else is too much, breath. Thank you for your time <3

[readsrealm]

1. why do you hate that ship?

2. How is different from you shipping bughawk since technically mihawk is even more “disrespectful” towards him

3. Mihawk wants to be around shanks? He seeks him out because shanks told him about luffy and shanks losing an arm hurt him so much he remembered everything including th reason? He either knew where shanks is or has his vivre card? He apologises to shanks in his mind? That’s how much he respects him? For character like mihawk respect is everything. And he respects shanks and his choices. They had falling out because of the “betrayal” of their duels but we can see mihawk cares deeply about this relationship. He has issues that need to be resolved. They are basically failed zolu. If trauma didn’t happens to mihawk he would be the swordsman of RHP. Notice how shanks is a straw hat without swordsman next to him? Roger had one. Rayleigh. Luffy has one. Zoro. Shanks?

You’re just cope with hatred towards the ship while shipping nonsense like cross guild just because you like buggy.

lol why you want to fight us so bad

It’s my opinion which I’m aloud to have. Difference between you and me is that i don’t harass mishanks fans bc they have any right to ship them I just mute them bc instead of hating them you mute the tags you can do that I did that with mishanks so now I know where mishanks content will be so I can avoid it

becuase girl I can and I like it. And I never said it’s a healthy relationship, didnt I ?

Like I said surely they respect each other but they literally didn’t see each other for 10 years only bc Mihawk want to not see him and until now and it seems like Shanks wasn’t really bothered with that. Mihawk lost most of his respect for Shanks bc he didn’t get how you would lose an arm for a kid that’s it. He respected him enough to give him the poster. Yes. He respects him but there isn’t much of a bond in my opinion. And he apologized bc he had somewhat respect for Shanks bc there was a time where shanks could stand on equal footing with him which is a good reason to respect someone considering that he is the strongest sword man of the world. Though if you want to go that way. If he really cared he wouldn’t have attacked him bc shanks would be devastated and angry. Your literally putting you hc here bc Mihawk would never joined to rhp bc they are first of all too aloud and Mihawk is a loner. The only reason he joined crocodile was bc he wanted peace. And they are not failed zolu if not Shuggy is failed zolu. Zoro is always ready to lose his dream so Luffy can achieve his dream. Thriller park proved us that. Now imagine Zoro would have been there on Marineford and then on that random island where Luffy says to jinbei that he can’t be pk bc he couldn’t save Ace. Zoro would be shocked. Now imagine Luffy actually going through this giving up his dream. Zoro would be devastated bc in someway he put his dream away for Luffy. If Luffy would become pk zoro wouldn’t become the world strongest swordsman. Zoro would also be angry. The same actually happened to Shuggy. Shanks may had his reason but he didn’t told Buggy so for Buggy it was just after all these years Shanks giving up on their dream. Buggy who is known for being selfish and kind of narcissistic let go of his dream so he could support Shanks bc he thought that this is what Roger wanted. The strawhat x swordsman combi is not a valid reason lol. We literally know nothing about Mihawk (which is sad). Now you say if trauma didn’t happen he would be the swordsman of the rhp but I actually believe he would’ve made his own crew bc he doesn’t like taking orders his pride his high (which he can afford).

Your the only one who copes with hatred bc instead of just searching for your mishanks posts which is completely fine you’re here to harass us and yes I ship cross guild bc I love buggy bc I have the right to do that. For me buggy can get paired with these and clearly I’m not alone with that so yeah

BYE 😘

[cheatexp]

@iscopeeee hi i wanted to reply to your tags on a post but didnt want to add them to the main post cz if some random fuckin guy comes over and argues w me from the notes i will noooot enjoy it lmfao. feel free to ignore if you dont care its pretty long

tbh suuuper fair. i find when people try to represent more disorders because they want the number of disorders they represent to go up it's honestly Usually bad. im sure it isn't in 100% of situations but like. lets look at the research process here

you can look at the diagnostic criteria. but this will give you a cold view of what you're researching that doesn't appropriately exhibit how it would affect a person's Life. yeah you get a list of symptoms that may or may not be present but you don't get how that affects their world view, their sense of self, the way they interact with others, how it might intersect with other disorders they have, how it can vary depending on what they've experienced in life. i mean just look at the diagnostic criteria for something you DO have and see how different it feels from your actual experience with the thing? like yeah it might fit in a technical sense but do you at all sense the way that part of you makes you FEEL. the way it affects your LIFE. the way it IMPACTS you? you don't get the IMPACT you just get a little tube that doctors poke people with. outside in perspective

you can go on social media and check out how people online share their experiences with said disorders. which sounds like a really good idea honestly! like, wow, that perspective you wanted, right? but social media is not built for this kind of thing. it tends to amplify one kind of voice, the kind that can get trendy, the kind that's glamourous, the kind that makes people watch the video and click the like button and subscribe and hit the bell. some people think that this means these people must be faking but really social media is only showing you one perspective and it's the one that gets the most attention so like. of course its gonna Look fake. whether it is or not i kind of dont give a shit. but youre not gonna get a realistic glimpse at it from the slime machine. yeah the internet has all information on it but in this day and age its only gonna show you shit that makes it money and that is NOT something you want for this sort of thing.

additionally sometimes when you try and look into this stuff youll just get horrible hateful slime. take narcissism for example. i do not give a flying fuck if youre "not referring to the disorder" if you try and research it at all youre gonna get this terrible horseshit rabbit hole about how narcissists are literal demons from hell that have dark energy and you should abuse them because it's morally right. what kind of research can you even DO there? and another not from the post, you look into borderline at fuckin all and you just get people calling them horrible people you Should abuse because it's morally right. because they're just evil people who deserve it for being so evil. how the fuck are you supposed to get compassionate viewpoints if you have to sift through people who are genuine vile filth about it. if you have to try really hard to tell if you're getting an actual perspective or if it's another step towards trying to justify abusing people for money. it's fucked up! it's really fucked up! and if you don't feel like you can handle doing that kind of research then honestly? so fucking fair i can't stomach it myself. it pisses me off so bad. people with npd and bpd i will fight for you in the war any day of the week.

the best thing you can do imo is get the personal experiences of people that you either know or at least people who aren't influenced by the algorithm. and make sure it's Multiple experiences. develop an understanding of how it affects their perspective rather than a list of Things People with [X] Do. and at the end of the day you probably won't get a FULL view of what it's like because there's only so much people are willing to share about something that hurts them. so if you still dont feel confident enough to depict it after that then tbh fair. thanks for thinking about it instead of running in guns blazing like your actions dont impact anyone

at the end of the day if you can't get enough information to handle it with tact i recommend just depicting characters with like... problems. you dont need to put a word on it, just give them traits that are unpleasant for them to experience and treat it with compassion. ill take a character that accidentally does things that remind me of my experience with ocd over some guy who technically has all of the diagnostic criteria but doesn't have much care put into the depiction at all yk. maybe im too scared of making mistakes actually it's probably fine to try and fail but ahhh!! ahhhhh!!! what if i'm the devil! eeek! idk if someone has a different opinion ill hear you out lol we dont have to kill each other promise

[w0w0zella]

um hello!!! im gonna be making a. bugbo murderstuck au Masterpost of sorts! I guess! ill format it like a q&a but im making up some of these questions myself. So lets get into it :3

this is a really long post! b careful :3

"what is murderstuck?" murderstuck is a Bugbo AU that made/am making (complicated wip status lol)! its a story that takes place a month and a bit after the events of familiar foe. Very long story short, gerbo ends up getting killed (on accident), joe then kills bugbo (On purpose) and joe seeks out thomas flyswatter for help. i have a post here that goes more into the story if you'd like to see it! vvv https://www.tumblr.com/w0w0zella/728157783124574208/ill-post-these-together-awawy-from-the-rest-of-the?source=share 

currently it is a well defined plot line that i and a couple other people have made art for,, and a work in progress fanfiction!

"why is it called "murderstuck"?"

murderstuck is actually (Believe it or not lol) a Homestuck thing! murderstuck is a specific part in act 5 act 2 of homestuck where one character kills someone and then someone else kills THEM, so i was like  Fuck yeah that makes total sense for this au. In all honesty, i just called it that cuz i needed a name to jump back to in discord for easy finding and it. Stuck i guess GIGGLES lol.

i am currently.  Semi looking for new name suggestions! so if anyone has any ideas !!!   Tell me !! Please !! I have No idea!! ((by the way, because murderstuck is already technically a thing, you need to tag murderstuck posts with #bugbo murderstuck or #bugbo murderstuck au or else it will be drowned out by all the homestuck art :3

(question by geluga on discord) "where did joe get his cleaver ? is it the same way he just happened to have an axe in episode 2 or is it from something else?"

yeah no i didnt really think out him having a meat cleaver lol. lets say thaat. umm. He got it becuase he was preparing bugbo a Yummy Meal (Steak is his Favourite or some  shit idk) !!!

i do NOT rmember why i gave him a meat cleaver aswell. If you want a Good answer, the reason i gave him a meat cleaver and not his Trusty Axe is because his axe would have been far too dull and bulky to slit bugbos throat. if you want the TRUE answer Its because i forgot he had an axe at all and thought the meat cleaver would look cool

(question by onyx on discord) "did gj feel bad after The thing or did he feel like totally justified"

AMAZING QUESTION !!!! Gradient Joe feels EXTREME remorse. of course when he looks back on it he knows why he did it, but if we're being completely honest; bugbo was immobilized. he did not need to kill bugbo. if he had killed him while bugbo was choking him, that would be a different story. but he killed him while he was backed up into a tree, immobilized and begging for his life.

he feels extremely bad ! Very extremely bad!

(question from ANON in my ASK BOX) "DUDE I LOVE YOUR AU SM RAUGHHHHH also question uhh where is hoppo in the au? we havent really heard about her"

So. During the events of this au. she is. away. like she usually is. Dont really know where! Shopping at grocery market. back at war. lost at sea. you decide. (More info on hoppo in the next question

(question by kets on discord) "uuhhmmmm what is the absolute WORST ending this au could have realistically?????????? like if it didn't end whene thomas was ocmforting joe idk :3333333"

OKAY i coudl see this one of a couple ways. First way is, bugbo wins. bugbo succeeds in choking joe to death, And now he is alone (til hoppo gets back) i said this one first cuz its probably not the worst possible thing, but i think it would be pretty terrible!

second worst would be if Joe waited for hoppo to come back instead of going to thomas for help. In my humble opinion, i think that hoppo is very stubborn and VERY loyal. so. (to me at least) it stands to reason that if hoppo came back, she would side with bugbo VERY hard. she would probably fucking hate joes guts, and that would be the worst  thing for him after everything he already went through. Maybe they would Fight too idk…

Very first worst would be if joe just straight up killed himself after killing bugbo. I could see this as a thing he contemplated, but if he actually went through with it?  Oh my god Fucking imagine. all of there corpses there for hoppo to find when she comes back. Thomas rotting away in his lair without anyone to talk to (and without knowledge of bugbos death) for years? Devastating.

other notable endings include Joe OR bugbo Killing themselves directly after gerbos death, hoppo ending up killing joe out of anger when she comes back, Or (In a silly alternate universe that We made on Disc Ord…) bugbo comes BACK to life and DRAGS himself to go kill joe HIMSELF!!!!!!

(question by DEMO on DISCORD) "is gradient joe book smart or money smart" i am going to kill myself and its your fault i think. never speak to me again (Joke)

NOTABLE INFORMATION:

as stated before, you need to tag murderstuck posts with #bugbo murderstuck or #bugbo murderstuck au or else it will be drowned out by Homestuck stuff !! i want to see all of your art and things!! Thank you!!

you are ONE HUNDRED PERCENT WELCOMED AND ENCOURAGED to make stuff surrounding this au! Please Please Show It To Me!!!

if you are drawing During Fight or. During Murdering bugbo or joe, here are some things to note! - bugbo attempts to choke joe to death during a part in the fight, and he almost succeds! This causes Permanent scarring on gradient joes neck, and scratch marks all over bugbos arms from joe clawing at them!!!

- joe ends the fight with his shirt partially open and his tie missing!

- joe breaks bugbos right leg! there is a noticable gash on his inner right knee!

- joe kills bugbo by slitting his throat with a meat cleaver!- after joe is done, he drags bugbos body over to where gerbo died! (he was crushed by the fallen Stone Structure!)

thank you all so much for the love and support with this au It means so much to me. thank you from the botom of my hart.  IF YOU HAVE ANY COOL IDEAS, MORE QUESTIONS, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANNA SHOW/TELL ME, MY MESSAGES AND ASK BOX ARE ALWAYS OPEN!!!!!!

[elvenbeard]

WIP Wednesday (actually on Wednesday!)

I was tagged by @therealnightcity @chevvy-yates a while ago and @pinkyjulien indirectly >:D

So I'm gonna do a small dump of all the (too many) things I'm doing at the moment!

Modding: I've started NPVince, finally!! That screenshot is from two weeks ago but I didnt make much progress yet cause being ill and cosplay things got in the way xD But on a basic level he is done and I'm really looking forward to start customizing him (not so much cleaning up the files and custompathing xD but I'll get there!)

Cosplay Stuff: ngl, this vest might be one of the nicest pieces of clothing I've ever done so far uwu I'm really proud but also already know several things I'd like to redo about it when I make a 2.0 version xD I also want to redo some details on this, technically still gotta add sleeves, and also so many badges and the samurai patch and bullets and aaahhhh! But I love it a lot already uwu other than that what's missing of my 2023!Kerry outfits still are the pants, and I've never done pants as complex before, but I'm really looking forward to tackling that :D

Art: Next up are some commissions first, but inbetween I'm working on several smaller illustrations all at once. One I cant post on tumblr in full xD this one is hopefully gonna be the start of a series of my favourite in-game scenes visualised like movie still-frames :3

Writing: I'm also slowly working away on my longfic, chapter 16 is almost done! But I also have brainworms atm about an alternative ending ficlet with max 5-8 chapters for the PL ending 👀 we shall see when and if I get to that xD

I'm not tagging anyone in particular, but if you see this, consider yourself tagged and pls tag me so I can peek at the cool things you're all working on!!

[pawsitivesunshine]

a lot of the posts on the top of the tag seem to be discourse but i hope i see positivity heh, im trying to accept and be more social about this? im very.. closeted you could say? my therapist and partner are the only one who know.. of course some x-friendships ^^’ ,,

i thought i’d share some PAWSITIVE ways i help out my uhm species dysphoria.. even though this is probably… redundant and probably posted thousands of times but. it doesnt help to see maybe a reminder? (this is my way of also trying to be social and meet people so hiiiii :3)

NOW.. im a dog, a canine if you must be technical, golden retriever if you wanna pull out my documents

ive been struggling with figuring out my identity and with my dysphoria for… years. i first really doggifying stuff probably when i was 13/14 but i TRAUMA is lovely so a lot of it is static memory, so i will suggest the best tips and tricks that get me through my days now :3 (some then)

WEAR THE SAME COLORS AS YOUR COAT/FUR - I cannot express how much this helps just looking down and seeing my sleeves are blonde, especially if im having a moment where im lost in my head.

DECORATING FOOTWEAR TO LOOK LIKE YOUR SPECIES- Now this may be a bit more difficult for different.. species of course but im sure it could work im thinking of it right now, tentacles could have some cool ones coming up on the side if you’re a squid, or maybe hoof like eva could be glued on for any hooved-creatures :3

EATING SIMILAR FOOD TO YOUR SPECIES - I eat so much food SHAPED like dog treats its not kidding, if you dont think you can do it because of health reasoning you can do the shape route? get some cookie cutters and mold out some fishies or some little cubes to make it look like feed or kibble? theres an amazing tumblr on here who makes recipes that do truly look like animal food, i will rebark this when im done with who im talking about, i followed dorian(i believe) on a past blog.

PHYSICALLY LOOKING LIKE YOUR SPECIES - This could be growing your nails out, doing your nails(painting, getting them done at a salon), DYING YOUR FUR TO MATCH YOUR FUR COLOR, OR.. GETTING TATTOOS IN REFERENCE TO YOUR SPECIES!!!! I didnt want put that in a separate thing because you could link it together, if you have markings on your face per say, maybe you could mark them on your face permanently?? THIS IS FOR YOU, TO HELP YOU FEEL LIKE YOU. I wear collars because im domesticated, i also have HIGHLIGHTS (blonde) in my hair to help me remind myself that I AM a golden retriever not some BRUNETTE chick :3

im sure i’ll come up with more after i spend my day out with my folks :3

[inevitablestars]

HEY LINDS this is my Official Attempt to sway you towards perciver i hope you like it and that it doesnt turn you off them forever, now first off!

general relationship potential:

percy and oliver are in the same year and as far as we know they are the only boys in gryffindor in their year which makes them not only roommates but also the only boys in their room. for seven years.

percy is incredibly misunderstood by his whole family pretty much always, they all avoid him or are rude to him or just misunderstand him completely. with oliver's proximity its very likely hes the first person ever in percys life to properly observe him and understand him!!!

percy is the most career driven singleminded ambitious motherfucker in gryffindor.... second only to oliver!!! who is the most quidditch obsessed bitch on this planet and arguably has more solid career goals of anyone in that entire series. they are hyperfocused! they are girlbossing! they are not getting a wink of sleep bc they both get so lost in their work they forget what time is!

classic jock/nerd combo except oliver is a jock who is secretly a nerd (think of all the quidditch stats!!) and percy is a nerd who is secretly a jock (percy is a master spellcaster and nobody can convince me otherwise, that man fought multiple death eaters on his own at the battle of hogwarts and you do not get that kind of skill from just sitting behind a desk)

idk theres honestly a lot of directions one could take them but theyve just got so much chemistry and so much in common but also different and theyve got so much potential

(in my head they are the definition of autism/adhd solidarity but i know that not everyone hcs them that way which is cool too)

now for fic recs!!!

Twenty-nine - 85k - Endrina

percy weasley-centric fic that is honestly one of the most creative interpretations of him ive ever read, it goes deep into his past and his canonic decisions and stuff but theres a twist to it that is just gold, also its a whodunit where oliver's been framed for murder and only percy knows hes innocent its very very good and definitely played a huge part in me falling in love w percy's character

A New Life - 89k - AnotherAuthor, myroaringtwenties

percy and oliver meet post-war and help each other get their lives moving forward again, its very well written and very sweet but mind the tags its kinda heavy at points, it doesnt shy away from how hard the war was on everyone but the community that the weasleys and the quiddich players have is very warm and i love it

At least he has great abs - 12k - Irisen

this one is a cute shorter nonmagic soulmate au where oliver is a famous footballer and percy is a politician and they end up being soulmates, its very funny and light and i just enjoy it

(also i am technically writing a perciver fic rn its called Rely On Me and the first two chapters are up on ao3 but its my first fic attempt and i havent updated it all summer bc Life so pls dont feel obligated to read it i just felt like it would be weird if i didnt mention it)

anyway! i hope you enjoyed this if nothing else and if you read these or find other perciver fics or just wanna talk about em lmk bc i am always down to talk perciver i love them with my whole heart and soul <3

josephine hello. is this from literally ten months ago? perhaps it is. but i'm here now.... you mentioned perciver earlier and it reminded me that this has been sitting in my inbox for SO LONG

alright let's get into this

• iconic of them to be alone in a dorm for seven years together that already screams soulmates

• you're so right these two get their minds set on something and they're going to get it they're going to achieve whatever they want (tbh i already think they should put that energy toward like Getting Together but i distress)

• nerd jocks! a slay tbh

• i see the autism adhd thing i get it

• i also think like yeah i agree they have a lot in common when you dig into them but from one glance it's like ? these two? really? but then you see who they are at their core and it's like oh of course how could you think anything else (i have a lot of characters and dynamics that this sorta concept applies to i get it)

also love the inclusion of fic recs which i will check out when i am back to reading <3 consider myself convinced (it did not take much you already convinced me by just sending this ask)

[meat-pvppet]

only now remembered my evil husband ( @spaydekingcayde ) tagged me in one of these so uhhh blows up

anyone else is free to do this ig

What is the origin of your blog title?

hrm,,,the batter off,,,,

Favorite fandoms?

i dont particularly have a "favorite" fandom cuz i dont interact with most of the fandoms i end up being a part of out of anxiety, social or otherwise

idk all fandoms seemingly feel shit cuz of how bad the bad parts get

if this were favorite media rn then thatd be OFF, coral island, destiny and like

a bunch of other shit that i cant think of rn

OTP(s) + ship name?

idfk brah most ships i have are my oc/canon ones which i could mention but id rather talk about them when i have drawings on them

ekko and jinx from arcane is a cool one ig and timebomb is such a baller name

Favourite color?

yeller

Favourite game?

coral island, fear and hunger and destiny but OFF still has the most specialest place in my heart

Song stuck in your head?

COCOA HOOVES BY GLASS ANIMALS AND ALSO INTERDIMENSIONAL BY COSMO SHELDRAKE AND ALSO APHRODITE, YOUR ELECTRIC SEXINESS BY HUMAN ZOO

Weirdest habit or trait?

idk i have alot of vocal stims and if im stressed i need to gnaw on someone or something

Hobbies

i draw i guess

and im working on some crochet projects but tbh with one of them im probably gonna learn how to knit and redo it entirely cuz holy fuck id need so much fucking yarn!!!!

If you work, what is your profession?

i'm still studying but i need to find a part-time job soon

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

animator

or some kind of art director or character designer

game deving

shit like that

Something you’re good at?

art

Something you’re bad at?

art

Something you excel at?

bitching about art and coming up with horrible situations for my ocs and making them miserable forever

Something you love?

my husbant,,,and my friends!!!!! and also art ig

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff?

my ocs

Something you hate?

man idek anymore everythings a fuck

Something you collect?

dust

ok but in all seriousness i dont really collect alot of things at the moment cuz i live in an apartment in one of the biggest cities and im currently in college so there isnt alot for me to get my hands on

Something you forget?

everything

What’s your love language?

physical touch, infodumping, generally showing people things

Favourite movie/show?

idk actually

the boy 2016 comes to mind ig

and v for vendetta

for shows uhhh

the legend of vox machina

Favourite food?

hrm,,,longanisa,,,

but also fries ig

Favorite animal?

rats,,,ive been meaning to start keeping rats in the apartment but im very hesitant to now as of late due to worries that i wont be able to provide for them properly

Are you musical?

wish i could actually write my own music, but yeah ig so stares at my electric guitar and bass that i havent touched in a while cuz ive been busy

and also smth smth the filipino stereotype of being able to sing (debatable)

What were you like as a child?

apparently i was more social as a kid

Favorite subject in school?

since im still in school technically ill just base it on that

but anyway uhhh

general education art appreciation is cool i like it

Least favourite subject?

chemistry.

What’s your best character trait?

bitches love my autism swag

What’s your worst character trait?

this is getting real personal but hi when im not feeling well mentally it takes a really long time to recover

and also i tend to misunderstand shit in the worst way possible and make myself even more upset over smth someone didnt even say

If you could change any outcome of your day what would it be?

idk as long as im not exploding in my head then its a win for the day

If you could travel in time who would you meet?

precolonial filipinos

i wanna meet them so bad i wanna know what we were like before the spanish happened

i want to know my ancestors

Recommend one of your favourite fics!

THIS SHIT GOES SO HARD

THIS TOO

and anything cayde writes cuz it makes me wanna rip my skin off <3

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ Francis Forever (chapter 17)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 5k

warnings- swearing, angst, mentions of miscarriage, confused feelings, some kissing (some smut not really its like 2 seconds), REALLY EMO

a/n- guys....we have reached the final chapter of Forever And A Day, oh my god. Ive worked on this story since January, its very dear to me, Thank you for everyone who tagged along. I love you so much! there will still be an Epilogue posted as well. Enjoy the chapter angels

-nini

Your feet led you down to the kitchen, where your mom was currently cleaning.

"hi honey" she mumbled, not turning around to see you as she scrubbed the top of the stove.

"hey.." you walk over, opening the fridge and looking for something to snack on. Granted- there was something made for breakfast but you hadn't woken up until 12pm. Technically, it was now lunch.

"do you want me to make you something?"

You peer over to your mom whos putting things away in the storages

"no thats okay" you grab a sleeve of crackers from the cabinet and some cream cheese, opting to sit at the kitchen island with your sad "meal"

"thats not lunch, missy" your mother scolded as she turned to you finally

"meh" you shoved the cracker in your mouth as you watched her grab her coat from the hanger. "where are you going?" you spoke with a full mouth.

"I have to run to the store"

"didnt you just go the other day?"

Your mom peered over her shoulder, waiting a moment "yes...but, I forgot to grab...uh....planter feed, for my little window plants" she nodded over in the direction of them.

"okay....can I come?" you mumble, throwing another dry cracker into your mouth.

"no" she laughed, making you look up

"what, why?"

"because" she began to ramble "well...I love you but Ive spent every minute with you this week, its good to be alone for a few hours"

You raised an eyebrow as if you didnt believe her.....because you didnt. "okayyy..." your voice dragged out

"ill be back in no time, no worried dear." she grabbed her bag and walked to the door, "ill bring you back a coffee" she winked as she left.

Once you heard the door lock, you stood up, licking the cream cheese off your fingers.

why was she in such a hurry to be gone?

Your feet wandered over to the little plant cabinet she had, opening it to see a freshly stocked basket of soil feed packets. Of course she was lying.

She was probably looking for an excuse to see that guy shes been talking to for months now. Why would she lie though? does she think you couldn't handle it?

Chosing to ignore it, you picked up her cat and made your way upstairs to your room, sitting down at your desk.

These days you werent out much, last time you saw other people was 2 days ago when you went to go grab the mail from the mailbox in the pouring rain. Nonetheless, you still loved to get yourself dolled up as if you were going out.

You applied some makeup, carefully drawing out your eyeliner to a sharp point. The way you applied your face could be compared to how you applied yourself to everything else in life- strict and neat, and you hated when you had a smudge

You pushed through your makeup bag, searching for a certain lipstick that you are now realizing you left back in Paris.

"that was $20" you sigh, standing up to wander to your moms room. Surely she has something to use, shes always been one to paint her face, she used to let you play "makeover" when you were young, which might be why you love it so much now. It was always enjoyable, even if you made her look like a clown a bit.

You wondered where she would keep her makeup, as it wasnt in her bathroom. A quick scan around the room brought you over to her vanity drawers.

"ahh, there we go" you happily looked at all of the collective lipsticks and palettes sprawled out in front of you. You grasped a few of them to look for one you would use, when your eyes fell onto a folder underneath all it.

Pulling it out and carefully looking inside, because you were snoopy even with your mothers belongings, you saw what appeared to be a booklet of Polaroid photos.

You giggled softly at the cute older photos of your mom when she was younger, the silly gestures in the photos reminded you that she too is human and has her own emotions.

You came across a specific one in the pile where your mom was looking out the window in her old apartment, obviously pregnant.

that was you.

Smiling softly, you slid through the last bits before picking up one that made your breath hitch.

Your dad.

She still kept every photo. Hidden.

Photos of your dad sitting on the deck of the house with newborn you resting on his chest, photos of him not knowing your mom was even there while he did tiny activities, like fixing or repainting something.

It was so real and so raw, and you wanted to criticize your mother for keeping all of these, because as you looked at his face, you felt nothing but anger.

But you had to remember she spent a majority of her life with him...she had a kid with him....and you almost felt a sense of sympathy for her and the life she thought she would have with him.

He ruined so many things and even after all of that, she cant toss the photos.

Its never really over, huh?

-

You knew deep down that you should've respected your moms privacy and left the room, considering you were only on the look for a lipstick.

But you found yourself still digging an hour later, looking at photos and notes and everything in between. In a way, you felt like the snooping mom looking into her daughters room.

Perhaps you shouldnt have, but you took one of the photos and kept it for yourself. It was of your mom, she had to have been your age in it, and she was standing in front of the old ice cream place she always took you to before it got demolished.

She looked so happy and pure, she had that gleam in her eyes that you struggle to find in her nowadays.

You put the photo into your bag, making sure it was flat and not bent.

With any lesson learnt from your parents, its that your biggest fear is to spend your life in the wrong situation, trying to make it work only for it to end up as the opposite, and leave you with a broken heart.

But on the other hand, you also realize that you dont want to be like your mom, although you admire and adore her, you want to find your place so desperately, and not let any opportunity go to waste.

The doorbell downstairs rang, startling you a little as you rose to your feet, trying to head down quickly.

"coming!" you shout, your bare feet leading you to the locked door. You open it and see a young man with a pizza in his hand. "oh!"

He bows his head polietly, "Hi, pizza for Y/N?"

You almost laugh, "ah...I didnt order anything?"

you thought for a moment and considered that your mother probably ordered it for you, knowing that your choice of meal this morning was crackers and cream cheese.

"its already paid for" he spoke again

"im sorry but-" you sigh "okay....thanks?" you reach out, almost burning your hands at how warm the box was. You dropped it off on the kitchen counter and looked at it.

It was cheese and bacon, your favorite, how did your mom know that?

"should I trust this?" you looked down at the cat crawling over your feet, she smelled the yummy food just above and was trying to access it.

Before you could grab your phone to call her, you heard the doorbell ring again. "seriously...?"

once more, your feet dashed you over as you opened the door, assuming it would be another delivery. You dropped your phone onto the floor as the person standing in front of you turned around.

"I hope you are open to sharing that pizza" Taehyung spoke quietly, a small smile on his face.

"what are you doing here....?" you looked at him like a deer in headlights; scared, relieved, shocked, happy all in one.

He calmed his expression and stepped a bit closer, "can I come in?"

You stepped back and thought for a moment

"please....?" he persisted

"y-yeah..yeah come in" you stepped away and watched him slowly enter the house, taking his shoes off before turning back to you. He didnt have a moment to speak before you threw yourself into his chest, wrapping him up into a tight hug.

His arms snaked around you, pulling you closer as both of your breathing became uneven.

"i-im so sorry...i missed you a lot and I havent texted and, fuck, youre here and im so-"

"shhh...shhh" his hand held your nape as you looked at you, forehead against yours, "dont apologize its okay"

"but-"

"no...lets just go sit down and talk" he whispered, rubbing your back.

You exhaled shakily "okay"

You led him over to the kitchen, still in absolute shock at the fact he is here with you right now. All of the guilt began to seep back in the moment you saw his face.

You took a seat at the counter and looked at him, the sun peaking in through the blinds, leaving stray lines of orange through the room.

He smiled and looked around, pulling the seat out next to you as he sat down.

"So.." you looked at him, swallowing harshly. "wh-"

"your mom called me" he spoke honestly, sitting down and shielding the sun with his hand. "I was worried sick about you, I cant lie"

Yep. Guilt.

"and I didnt wanna bother you, but she called me and said that you wanted to see me so..." he smirked a little, looking down.

You sigh loudly, "oh tae.....i never told her to tell you to come...."

He laughed, throwing his head back "ah I figured sort of...I knew you would have probably texted me yourself"

You nod, stomach fluttering at the sound of his amusement. "yeah..'m sorry for not texting, that was really shitty of me Tae"

"dont apologize, youve gone through a lot, I understand its not easy to jump back in yet...and thats okay." he whispered "but...how are you? what are you feeling?"

"right now? im....im honestly really happy you showed up...."

"yeah?"

You nod, "mhm, i, er, missed you" you fumbled with your words, not wanting to sound needy or desperate.

"I missed you too" his response was quick.

you both looked at eachother for a few moments silently, before you spoke up, "you ordered that pizza, didnt you?"

He began to laugh, "yeah I did"

"I knew my mom wouldnt know I liked bacon...." you giggled, he moved a little closer and smiled.

"and listen, im not here to course you to coming back to Busan, I just wanted to come check on you...because you know I love you always"

You felt your face heat up, "I know...I know tae, I love you too."

"how are you physically?" he spoke quietly

Shrugging, you answered truthfully, "I think Im okay....my body is beginning to go back to normal, so....."

"good, thats good" he nods

"mhm...im glad I have my mom, but I really did miss having you nearby, and I know you dont want to hear it but I have to say it" you mumbled

"you can talk, y/n"

"im so sorry...for everything....its not fair-"

"but-"

"just listen please, its not fair...what I did to you, and I shouldnt have left, that was so shitty to leave you back in Paris knowing you were hurting too"

His face softened

"and what I did has been haunting me so much that I was afraid to contact you in fears you resented me....in fears that perhaps you hated me now-" your voice choked

"y/n, no, no," he grabbed your hands, "I could never hate you....never ever" he whispered moving to see your eyes, "listen to me, It was a bad situation, and perhaps we could have done better, yes, but stop apologizing for dealing with grief."

He wiped the tear stain on your cheek, holding your face close to his, whispering, "does your mom still have popsicles in the freezer?"

The random question made you laugh, "what?"

"this is serious, y/n, does she?"

"I- I think?" you stood and watched him search, successfully finding them. "why?"

He smirked, "you know why" he grabbed 2 and held your hand, bringing you upstairs to your room, opening the window and climbing out to the ledge of the roof

A place you two always sat during your high school days...with popsicles.

"ohh...." you giggled, now understanding his method to the madness.

"been a longgg time since we sat here, why didnt we do it when we visited a few months ago?" he smiled, opening the wrapper and licking the watermelon pop

"Im not sure..." you opened your own, happy that the sun wasn't directly on you two anymore.

Taehyung laid back against the roof, eyes on you from behind. Its been so long since hes seen you, and with every passing day he grew more impatient.

When he got the phone call from your mom, he knew it was mostly her doing, but he was not about to pass up a free opportunity to see you, even knowing the risk of you despising him was still high.

He wanted to call you beautiful, the way the orange sky illumintaed on your skin, it blended perfectly, it was straight out of a disney Princess movie.

He had no clue as to what label you two stood as, was it okay to call you baby? there was never an official breakup. Was it too much to want to kiss you as soon as he saw your face? his body yearned for you in every way, he missed the feeling of your hand in his and your body on his chest at night.

He missed all of you, and it hasnt even been that long.

"you know..." he began, closing his eyes, "Im starting to think im a bit too dependent on you" his voice was teasing,

"why do you say that?" you looked back at him, licking the popsicle.

He shrugged, smirking, "just cant seem to stay away...."

"i dont understand you" you laugh, looking forward again. "ive been such an ass, Taehyung"

"youre not an ass you just feel things deeply and I love that about you"

"is this some kind of kink?" you joke, watching him laugh

"maybe?"

You shake your head as you continue to eat the pop, "I dont shame"

He looked up at the sky, glaring at a plane flying across. He wondered if you two could be seen from the window.

He wondered how tiny and insignificant you would appear to the passengers aboard, who had no idea what situation you both were dealing with, like how he didnt know what they were dealing with.

Life is weird like that.

What problems you have and seem huge may seem meaningless to others, or how from space, you are the size of a grain of salt. It puts things into perspective, and over the past few weeks, hes been thinking about everything deeply and truly....deciding that although it may change nothing, seeing you was the best option.

"Tae?" you spoke, noticing how quiet he got

"remember when we were 16 and it was Easter? My family was over with yours, and you and I climbed up here after dinner and tried to smoke my dads cigarettes for the first time?" he laughed at the memory

You smile, "I smoked it wrong and began to choke"

You both were giggling again now

"you almost swallowed it, how does one fuck up smoking so badly?"

You nudge him, "hey!"

He shrugged, still smiling

"you are quite the smoker yourself now, huh?"

"I grew up with him smoking so yeah, I sort of picked up on it"

You nod, listening

"you hate it though, right?" he smirked

"well you are a grown man, you can chose to do as you please"

"oh cmon dont play coy, you know you would never give up a chance to scold me for it"

"yeah youre right" you sigh at his knowingness "I worry about your lungs!" you tease

"my lungs are okay" he smiled as you laid down on the roof next to him, the sun casting both of your shadows behind you.

"you dont know that!"

"trust baby, if anything was wrong youd be the first to know"

You froze after he called you baby, it wasn't like you two had been gone for years, but neither of you had been lovey in over a month, it felt almost foreign, almost wrong.

He wasnt going to apologize, it did slip, but did he regret it?

nope.

His eyes scanned over yours, softly and lovingly as he moved his hand over your hair, pushing it out of your eyes.

You stared at him, an expression reading shock. He pulled away slightly

"am I making you uncomfortable?" he seemed worried that he stepped too far, scaring you.

"n-no!" you spoke, reaching for his hand. "it just feels odd you know? its not you, its just...."

"been a while" he finished for you

"yeah..."

You still felt safe with him, how could you not?

You didnt want him to make the assumption that you were not okay with his touch anymore, because that definitely was not the case.

You slowly cuddled closer to him, both of you laid on your backs as your head rested on his shoulder, his head leaning against yours.

Both of your lips were painted pink and red from the popsicles, it made you smile.

The sky above you two seemed so big, so endless.

Staring at it was almost frightening.

You reached for his hand and intertwined his fingers with yours, he quickly squeezed yours out of affection.

"ahh..." he spoke up suddenly, voice quiet. "I shouldnt.....I shouldnt have taken you to Paris"

You looked up at him

"maybe the plane ride was too much? maybe your body couldnt handle the stress?" he exhaled shakily, eyes still up at the sky. "Im sorry...I really am"

"you dont have to apologize for anything" you turned your body on your side so you faced him, though he still wouldn't look at you.

"hey.." you tried again, "you know, my mom told me she also miscarried when I was 3 years old...and thats why she never had kids after me"

He closed his eyes, squeezing your hand

"So I guess its runs in the family.....not our fault" you shrugged, "Its breaks my heart but...we dont have to blame ourselves"

He turned his head to your finally at the sound of your voice cracking, He brought you closer to his chest, hand rubbing your back. Taehyung swallowed harshly, clearing his throat to talk quietly "I've been...having a hard time dealing with it.

You rested your hand on his chest, looking at him sympathetically. His eyes were now watery, it took a lot to not cry yourself.

Youve already cried.

Youve cried so much

Perhaps you were now accepting the miscarriage for what it was, you were even able to say it aloud now, and thats growth.

You wished the same for Taehyung.

"that's okay, too" you whisper, hand snaking around to brush his hair between your fingers behind his head.

His eyes went back up to the now purple sky, tears reflecting the image in front of you. "do you think they are up there?" he smiled softly, rubbing your back still.

You look up at the sky, the clouds creating a beautiful set up as the sun set behind them. The world felt blanketed and secured in this moment, almost safe.

"yeah" you whisper, squeezing his hand, "but they are also here...with us, you know?"

He looks at you, tear marks on his face as you move to wipe them with your sleeve. "I think we will always be parents, that cant change. I feel that connection so deeply, and I know you do too. They arent gone, they just arent in this world" you add.

Taehyung smiled softly at your words, nodding slowly, "yeah....yeah youre right"

His thumb runs over your knuckles, calming you both down.

"I cant get myself to get rid of anything...like the stuff we bought." you mumble, looking down at your hands.

He chuckled, "mmh, you dont have too."

You sighed and looked at him again, a warm blush coating your cheeks.

"you know...I dont give you enough credit" he spoke "youve been through so much"

"Tae..." you brush his hair back, "youve given me everything....we need to look ahead...the past cant be changed."

He slides his hand under the hem of your shirt, touching the soft skin on your hip bone. It wasn't promiscuous or anything, simply an act of love and affection, silently showing you he's here and is listening.

"Im really sad" he choked out

You hugged him close as he began to cry into your shoulder

"its okay baby, its okay....its okay to be sad, you dont have to be strong for me" your hand caressed his back. "I love you so much, please know that"

He took a moment to calm down before pulling back to look at you, "y-youre right....we do need to look forward now"

You nod softly, holding his face.

You were a little worried to see him in this state, you didnt know he was feeling this and keeping it down for so long.

All you could do was comfort him and be there.

"I just.....are we still...." he trailed off, making you smile as you cupped his face again, brushing your thumbs over his cheeks lovingly.

"mm" you slowly leaned forward to kiss him

It was a nice kiss, not too slow but not too fast, just what was needed after a month of distance and no contact.

He blushed brightly, holding you as he whispered, "do you think we could start over? I really want to treat you right, and I want this to work. We can work it out right? the correct way this time?" his voice wavered

You nodded, still looking at him "yes....we can try again, the right way" you giggled as he leaned forward to kiss you again, this time a little quicker.

He bit your bottom lip, hands gently squeezing your hips

"baby-" you exhaled into his mouth, gently pulling back to look at him. "maybe we shouldnt"

"why?" he frowned, almost looking like a little kid

"well for starters we are on my roof" you giggled, sitting up

Taehyung smiled and looked around

"and....I dont know...sex is what brought us this mess" you teasingly nudged him, making him laugh. "lets just be with eachother for a little bit and let our feelings lead us to what happens"

He sighed, knowing you were right. "okay....can I still cuddle you though?" he whispered, making you coo at his cuteness.

"of course, lets go"

You slowly led him back into your room off the roof, closing the window before settling down on the bed with him. "when are you going back to Busan?"

He held you, face hidden in your neck "maybe in a few days...I dont want to leave you yet if thats okay"

"okay...thats fine, but, I think I'll head back with you...."

He smiled, rubbing your back "yeah?"

"mm" you kissed his head, closing your eyes.

You were still healing. To say you fully recovered was not true, but as you sat in his arms things felt normal again, even if it would be temporary.

Perhaps you needed to be with him to fully heal, to fully be yourself. Taehyung was your other half, and he knew you better than anyone. To give this another chance is like a breath of fresh air.

Putting your pasts behind you in hopes of feeling happiness again, in hopes of both of you becoming better people for each other.

Taehyung doesnt want to leave you, ever, and you cant say you want him to.

You dont spend half of your life with someone then let them run away just because things go downhill.

If your father was in your presence, you would teach him this lesson.

When you love someone, you hold their hand and walk through hard times together, you dont let them leave over something that both of you know you would need eachother's support for. To think- you almost let him out of your grasp, you almost lost him.

And Taehyung loved you so much...that if you asked him to leave....he would have.

You dont know what the future entails, and yes, its fucking terrifying. Life is scary, theres ups and downs, and suprises and failure, but theres also a lot of love, and happiness, and success if you look hard enough.

You do hope one thing for sure, and thats that he will be at your side as you grow up, to be there when you are right and wrong, healthy or sick, happy or sad.

As you both began to pick up the pieces of what was broken, you appreciated the past, knowing you had to let it go, but it also brought you here, back into where you feel most safe.

You renovated the apartment and turned the Nursery into a craft room for Taehyungs painting. He kept all of the baby belongings in the closet, hoping for the day in the future when he would open it again and feel that sense of excitement but nervousness.

You continued work and college classes, pursuing your acting career that youve always wanted, and when you graduated, Taehyung would never let you forget how much he admired you.

He kissed your neck softly, his hand pressed into yours as he hovered above you, "so beautiful, my love...."

you bit your lip before exhaling a shaky moan "ohh..f-fuck"

"so smart....youre so perfect baby, I love you"

He kissed you gently, still moving his hips against yours as you held him close to you, fluttering your eyes shut.

things had settled into place once again.

Taehyung got offered a job as an art teacher at the college you graduated from, taking the full time position while you worked at the local theatre, producing and preforming sold out plays every weekend.

The saving money part was hard for him, he wanted to buy you anything you laid your eyes on.

"did you seriously buy the couch?!" you tossed your bag, running from the doorway to the living room to see the grey couch you had pointed out shopping with him literally the day prior.

He shrugged, "yeah...whats the big deal?"

"taehyung!" you giggled and hugged him.

He was too spontaneous for his own good.

A few years passed, and looking at your current life now, you would not believe how much had changed. You can say for the first time in a while you felt happy...and oh what an exciting and freeing feeling that was.

"I love youuuu! my baby!!!!!" taehyung danced around on the icy sidewalk outside of your apartment door, it was new years eve and he was drunk.

very...very drunk.

He pointed at you as he sang, "my babyyyy! woo!"

You giggled, sitting on the steps and recording your man child boyfriend whom you loved so much. "baby be careful dont sl-"

too late.

He fell on his ass, laughing so hard he almost puked, which of course made you laugh too.

"cmon ya big baby" you ran over and helped him inside. Midnight had already passed earlier, pre-drunk taehyung had danced with you around the living room, gifting you a small kiss once the clock read midnight.

"hm, I dont get it, whats so different about a new years kiss? its like every other one?" you laughed after his lips left yours.

"well its special because I get to be the first to kiss you in the new year" he smiled cheekily

"tae...your the only one who gets to kiss me any year" you point at him

"damn right" he snaps his fingers at you as he walks past into the other room.

Every holiday you spent with him felt special, every event, every grocery run, it all felt so much more authentic now.

You two were in your mid twenties now, and a lot of mental growth had come along with that. With pride, you can say you were better people than before, and thats why things worked so well.

You could easily live like this forever.....

it was basically an endless sleepover with your best friend. You were okay if you could come home and see his face waiting for you on the couch.

Your sweet boy.

You had no idea what was gonna happen next, whether that was marriage, or another attempt at having kids- you felt ready.

Ready to give him anything he wanted in return for him saving you.

You could do anything, be anywhere or anyone, in good or bad conditions, and you will still only crave him.

Your lover.

You want him for months

for years

for eternity...

For Forever And A Day.

And God knows he felt the same.

-

A/N- wow guys....this is it....I cannot thank you enough for reading my first story on here, im not perfect at writing but you guys keep me motivated and confident in my work, and I love you for that. This will not be the end of this couple, we still have the Epilogue as well as eventual drabbles.

You guys are amazing. ily.

-Nini

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

[noangeleither]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tag @bioloyg <3

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun (I literally never remember my other ones, I should probably memorize them)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and Halloween. even tho i find it harder to feel the holiday spirit up until the very last minute i love christmas so much. and not even to be corny but its true that when you grow up you start to care less about the presents and more about the memories with family and friends.

i grew up in a religous family so my parents didnt let me celebrate halloween but i still love it with my whole heart. im a november baby so i love fall and all things eerie and spooky.

Last Meal: McDonalad's snack wrap and one of those new fruit splash drinks. its exam season so ofc im eating like shit. will probably eat some ice cream when i get home after my physiology exam in 30 minutes. so yay to junk food

Current Favorite Musician: currently ive been really enjoying pinkpantheress. her new album is literally 10/10. she has such a knack for melodies, and her lyrics are very eerie and poetic while maintaining a cutesy 2000s vibe. shes also a sampling queen.

honoarble mentions: ive been listening to a lot of janet, rosalia and red velvet these days too.

Last Music Listened To: feedback by janet Jackson. bro istg you have to clear the area when this comes on, i cant help but dance

Last Movie Watched: last movie i watched was bride wars. honestly a classic movie, so funny and i love wedding movies so i reccomend it. that was a month ago tho, which is crazy.

Last TV Show Watched: like the wonderful person who tagged me i watched the bear last. i just rewatched s02e01. ive been doing this thing where i'll either rewatch episodes for research, boredom or just because i get sucked in rewatching a specific clip that makes me want to rewatch the whole episode.

Last Book/Fic Finished: last fic i finished was keeping up with the berzattos by chefskiss40 on ao3. ive reread it like 3 or 4 times now and im patiently waiting for an update. its just so good, i love the domestic vibes. im not a fan of seeing my ships start families in canon but in fic? oh i could read that forever

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: not really abandoned but sorta modified? the sydcarmy high school au i started in the summer was a good concept but i didnt really have a concrete idea where the overall story would go. BUT im planning on maybe doing a series which is just a collection of one shots of them in HS? OR i plan on doing a multi-chapter shorter story that is an AU that also takes place in a high school setting but with a twist that i dont want to reveal bc that would mean i would have to commit to it. lol

Currently Reading: nothing. unless you count all these articles/research papers I've been reading for my health research studies course (think i aced the exam yesterday so maybe all the pain was worth it)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: doesnt really count as research but basically i was on pinterest creating boards for 3 different fics. was researching wedding dresses for a nat & syd fic where they go wedding dress shopping (will be finishing after my last exam). also just creating two other boards to inspire myself to start the au i teased above and my bones and all AU/retelling i talked about last month. i want to watch some more cannibalism media and maybe research about 80s pop culture and politics before i dive into that one fully.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: ummmm probably just being a menace on twitter with my friends that i made through being a reveluv. we talk every single day, and they are some of the best people i know. maybe the times we used to get up early or stay up late for comeback season, watch the kcharts being updated hourly and crack jokes about group we liked and didnt like

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: technically THG is having a resurgence right now but im way too into the bear to really get back into it and also i havent seen the new movie. im excited to once exam season is done but i feel like the hype is already dying so i dont see myself getting too into it.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: uhhhh cant think of one tbh.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: honestly every sydcarmy fic idea i have that would take multi chapters to flesh out. one shots are very safe for me. but im praying i'll commit to it. esp the bones and all AU lol

this was fun

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@amieraisposting @chefkids @sennenrose @sydneys-adamu @sydneyscarm @happylikeasadsong @chansoooo1-blog

[autonomousxselves]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒 / 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: often any variation of poppy or kat or in a couple circles ari/arii/アリー, i would go out to the new nickname store again but you dont really give yourself nicknames do you? my real nickname is [REDACTED]

𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘: October 15

𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍: Libra

𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 5'3

𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒: Reading, gaming (mainly rpgs or puzzles or psychological horror), crocheting my touys and such, and sometimes when im not lazy learning languages such as Portuguese, Korean, Japanese, and now Spanish

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑: Pink :3

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊: The Bible. and also Stravaganza: City of Masks (the whole series). and also The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom. and also

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆: technically In The End but if you count what i purposely chose and not just let spotify run, The Killing Kind

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄 / 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖: Smiling Friends / Hamilton (sister watched it back in the day so we had a few drinks and she explained the fandom the whole way lol)

𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃: a lot of persona manga for icons on this blog, i think the last physical book i read was either...Riverstar's Home or Persona 5 anthologies....i sound like a loser

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: Things™. i dont really know what inspires me regarding character choice or rp ideas, it could be reading something else or seeing something irl or just daydreaming/dreaming. just imagine yusuke sitting quietly and suddenly shouting "I MUST DEPICT THIS ON CANVAS" and thats me. although something that does tend to happen is my brain shyly asking "which character isn't currently being played?" it feels like I get to enjoy a character i like and fit a nice niche for others or fill out a team (example: in an Omori rp group there was no Hero so i played him and have not regretted it once.) it leads to fun vast differences where i can enjoy both popular and uncommon characters such as Aigis and Nanako in the same place

𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎��𝐑 𝐔𝐑𝐋: i was looking for words regarding jungian psychology that fits persona games, i really liked the phrase autonomous self but knew this would be a multi blog. i originally planned this to be a placeholder until i found a better, easier name but i had already given my url to my good friend quillheel who shared it and i got followed by tons of kind rpers before i could think of something else, and i didnt want to confuse everyone who followed by immediately changing lol. i almost still want to change it but never looked into a better name

𝐅𝐔𝐍 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓: my favorite characters to write somehow tend to end up being aus/canon divergent/heavily headcanoned/spin off versions of canon characters. Personality only faintly matters as i care about that character at some point. i dont know how i havent written anyone on this blog like this yet (i have mentioned them before at least such as sees ryoji), but i do have one new thread with shadow op Ken lol. this is a cry for help.

Tagged by: several people saying "you do it" on my dash lol

Tagging: @quillheel as a callout for my url thing /j /lh ❤️ and @musesofthesun for fun. whichever of you who reads this part and needs an excuse to do it can either tag me or just steal it :3

[quillheel]

MUN'S FAVORITES. Tag 10 people you want to know better

Favorite color(s): if i'm being honest, my favorites are a TON of very specific colors, my favorite colors are less Overall my favorite colors and more-so the way colors work together, if that makes sense?? you can really tell I'm an artist and who enjoys Impressionism and Fauvism-esque art-styles BGHKTRB if I HAD to pick: blue-greens, wine reds, off-whites, a variety of browns, etc. My favorite colors tend to be warm or otherwise in the general Radius of That, 'earthy tones' or neutrals. ( maybe not what you'd expect when Quillheel's color scheme is a desaturated blue and gold, esp since yellow is surprisingly low on my list BKHB )

Song stuck in your head: One Great City! - The Weakerthans !!! ( The driver checks the mirror seven minutes late / The crowded riders' restlessness enunciates / The Guess Who suck, the Jets were lousy anyway / The same route every day )

Last song you listened to: Expert in a Dying Field - The Beths !!!

3 favorite foods: chicken & broccoli alfredo pasta, strawberry ice-cream ( or Neapolitan, fudge or vanilla bean! ), sea-salt chocolate ( or hazelnut coffee if it counts? )

Dream trip: I really, REALLY want to move to Canada to be with one of my best friend and then get my other bestie up there as well so we can live together, and its 100% a future I'm striving for!!! though, ig that doesn't count since it's technically a future housing prospect not a trip... maybe going to a little city in France or visiting family in Florida? I'm not very sure! I've never been a huge traveler, i enjoy a lot of the smaller moments along the way :] I'd like to Maine again eventually

Anything I want rn: i REALLY want to go to the library and the store and get some books & fabric + stuffing so I can make stuffed animals with 'em since I've recently figured out Some aspects of sewing and find it REALLY enjoyable!!!! ( much more than crochet, funnily! ) I just wanna spend time outside at a park or smth kinda honestly, I don't get the opt often

Tagged by: @dandelicn !!! you technically didnt tag me but like. shhh i took it from you BHGKRBH

Tagging: uuuuuh @gloryseized @lunaright @mightiestbanana @lcngdays @tctartarus @lapismuses @pixels-hub @uptrain @rceway @flockrest if any of you have done this before, do it again /j ( text me and tell me and i'll tag sb else, or you can suggest someone else! idm!! )

[yarrayora]

end of the year book stuff tagged by @carriagelamp

How many books did you read this year?

does comic books count? if yes then i didn't count, if no then i'm pretty sure just two (but comics should absolutely count btw)

Did you reread anything? What?

i always reread servamp all the time so i can write Essays. also i reread katekyo hitman reborn for nostalgia and crossover reasons. TECHNICALLY i reread dante's inferno even though i never finished it because i'm not used to classic so i have to repeat the paragraphs before Getting it

What were your top five books of the year?

GIDEON THE NINTH!!! also Superman Smashes the Klan. the rest of the top 5 is servamp, unfortunately

Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

if i have never read tamsyn muir's homestuck fic before then it would have been her, but because i have that means she's an old fave-- oH i guess ryohgo narita counts? i knew he wrote durarara but i never truly managed to appreciate his writing until i read dead mount deathplay

What genre did you read the most of?

fantasy, duh

Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

too like a lightning by ada palmer. i keep forgetting i already have an e-book of it

What was your average Goodreads rating? Does it seem accurate?

i dont use goodreads thumbs up emoji

Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones?

yeah, finally reading original novels again. im trying to beat my ADHD so i can devour books the way i did during childhood

Did you get into any new genres?

new genre huh uhhhh... no. i know what i like

What was your favorite new release of the year?

i don't follow new release i just browse the bookstores and hope something speaks to me

What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?

gideon the ninth

Any books that disappointed you?

i dropped a lot of books and nothing this year has disappointed me enough for me to remember their titles

What were your least favorite books of the year?

bungou stray dogs look the light novels are still REALLY well written. i also appreciate how beautiful the translation can be. but the canon storyline fucking sucks. it betrays its theme when it comes to handling abusers by making this little girl who gets physically abused by her dad as a form of discipline to look up to him as a hero because dad's a cop

What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

i don't care about something like that

Did you read any books that were nominated for or won awards this year (Booker, Women’s Prize, National Book Award, Pulitzer, Hugo, etc.)? What did you think of them?

i don't follow book awards either

What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

i tried reading blue lock and it's the worst sports manga i have ever read. i can't get over how stupid the premise is. soccer is a team sport you idiot (note that this book didnt disappoint me because i never had any expectations for it in the first place)

Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

oh yeah JK Haru is a Sex Worker in Another World. I went into it expecting a cheap smutty story but turns out it's a pretty feminist narrative about sex workers and how no matter talented a woman is as long as the environment around her is aggressively and violently patriarchal those talents that would make men a hero would make women accused as demons-- but that's okay because you don't need the power to slay an entire army to change the world. sometimes, eating at a cafe in a world where women arent allowed to go outside without a chaperone is more revolutionary than magic that can burn a horde of monsters into cinders

How many books did you buy?

more than five

Did you use your library?

there is no usable library around me

What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

i dont follow new release remember

Did you participate in or watch any booklr, booktube, or book twitter drama?

oh yeh i watch them from the sideline with popcorn and all, thats crazy

What’s the longest book you read?

dante's inferno

What’s the fastest time it took you to read a book?

back when i was a kid i read three pjo books in one day. i don't do that anymore

Did you DNF anything? Why?

i read reeeeeeally slow now so it's less not finishing and more like taking long breaks inbetween

What reading goals do you have for next year?

finish gideon the ninth so i can read the next one

[mithliya]

Same Anon re: butch rep or lack thereof in queer love ultimatum:

Do you have a link/tag for your posts about the show? I didn’t see the butch rep post and I’d love read what other radfems think. I scrolled back but couldn’t find it.

And yeah I agree pretty much everyone except Xander, yoly (although she’s not 100% innocent,) and Sam suck to varying degrees, I only singled Vanessa out because the ask was about gender identities and Vanessa identifies as pansexual instead of lesbian. I felt bad for the other lesbians because they were to my knowledge, lesbians attracted to women, but technically dating self admitted non-women. Toxicity/drama wise, I pretty much agree with the general consensus on Mildred/Lexi/Rae/Aussie/tiff/Vanessa so I’m not going to add anything abt them.

My only unpopular opinion is about mal. Mal doesn’t necessarily suck per say, I think she’s a decent person and she’s super fine. but like Vanessa, her sudden reversal into wanting to propose seems motivated by wanting to “win,” instead of a genuine desire to commit to yoly. The fact that she suddenly started picking up after herself around the house shows she was capable of doing it all along but was content to let yoly pick up after her. The way she is motivated by wanting to win is a lot less obvious and less malicious than Vanessa, because she does care about yoly to some degree and she might not even consciously realize her motives. But I don’t think her intentions are genuine, I think she’s a real smooth talker towards both Lexi, yoly, and the camera/audience. I empathize with her a lot because I’m a poc lesbian (femme Indonesian though, not black butch,) and if a white woman showed up with a real chance of taking my girlfriend away I’d be feeling all types of old insecurities and might feel the overwhelming urge to win. I might be reading into it, but I just think if everyone wants to call Vanessa out for her sudden change of heart, it might be good to acknowledge that Mal is kind of doing something similar, but a lot less clumsily. I know she said she eventually wanted to get married after her finances were taken care of, but after the finance conversation w/yoly, I’m a bit suspicious about whether she was actually taking concrete steps to make that reality happen, or if she was using that as a delaying excuse. I would hate for her and her bestie to spin the narrative that yoly was some sort of gold digger who abandoned Mal to fall in love with Xander’s financial statements, because it kind of looked like they were implying that in the last episode. I had a soft spot for Mal, but I think I if the threat of xander were to go away, Mal would go back to her old, not-picking-up, marriage and kids delaying self.

this was my post about it. no one besides me rly shared their thoughts on that tho, to me i just thought it was concerning and indicative of a larger trend & commonly held idea nowadays that gnc = u must be non-binary or trans somehow. it all goes back to "cis = you identify as the gender you were born as" and gender simply being the societally & culturally ascribed roles based on ur sex... based on that logic ofc butch lesbians would not fit in and ofc many gnc people dont "feel" like theyre women (if female) or men (if male) but rather simply exist in the body that theyre in and dont conform to the gender roles pushed onto them.

i actually rly thought tiff was terrible at first but surprisingly, out of the bunch shes not the worst. definitely aussie (big disappointment. was into her at first), vanessa (also disappointment. shes rly beautiful too), mildred, and lexie are the ones i really didnt like. i loved mal, xander, & rae the most. im at a stage where im not 100% sure about yoly i mean she seems really lovely but the fact that mal expressed these insecurities holding her back from marriage & yoly basically confirmed every single one of them was like. really sad to see. and seeing mal cry so much was heartbreaking too ? like poor baby mal i want to just hug her and find a way to cheer her up.

i do agree w u tho that mal wanting to get married doesnt make much sense. i mean yoly basically confirmed every fear mal had that was keeping her from getting married to begin with!! if that were me id be like hell no im not proposing to u, if my main concerns were 1. im not financially ready and 2. my partner falls in love with everyone quickly and in the same way so why would *i* be the one, and then my partner went and proved she wants someone with more money + falls in love so fast (2 WEEKS!?!??) then id just say no way maam! we'll get married when u address my concerns! BUT that said, u made some decent points. i also was skeptical of the sudden flip to wanting to get married to yoly & the sudden meeting all of yoly's desires, like when someone is acting that way u rly dont know if theyre genuinely that way or if theyre just doing it to win. im skeptical of those things being consistent things too.

i got a similar sense to u there but also i generally just dont believe anyone is 100% genuine on the show, maybe the most genuine has been rae or even yoly bc yoly has been pretty direct & open w her feelings despite the issues it was causing. xander seems sweet but i definitely thought it was odd that she told yoly shes in love w her and then when vanessa asked she said she doesnt love yoly .. oh also sam is just amazing. i loved seeing her grow enough to stand up for herself and speak up unapologetically. i was super disappointed by aussie tbh she was like one of the women i was rly rooting for bc idk asian butches just have my heart bc they make me think of my lovely gf yanno but she rly let me down and was imo the absolutely worst of the bunch, even tho the one who would get shit on all the time is vanessa (who i think is not even as bad)

also lexie is annoying as hell and i think rae should dump her bc i was just getting some red flags from how lexie was acting ngl

[7mrcxyz]

anyway life rambling time so im not tagging this post what have i been up to while gone for 11 days? alot actually

school restarted #am ihnmaims

but, on a positive note, i got better at writing kinda

yeah, im going through a sort of artblock but atleast i can write about my au now

^ in which i will probably actually write about it

im currently NOT home and im coming back on saturday (aka tmr) and it takes about 4-5 hours to do so i believe (or well more specifically, 3 hours in a train with no wifi)

so..if i can write a full on pressure fanfic about my sona (COUGH COUGH and my painter yumeship ouhhhh shit they kissed at the end COUGH COUGH AHEM AHHEEEMMM) then i can stop procrastinating on this au and actually write the stupid au that doesnt technically have its canon story in the way that with base stuff you can create your own path in it and where edgar is roommates with painter and same thing with calculester and momo. why? funny.

soo..yeah. if i DO write it and if im not too embarrassed about my skills to post it (#perfectionism) (#fearlfbeingjudged) then. yeah. ill post it. people will finally learn abt the au with a funny name

i also made other ocs for my roblox project aaanndd got vas for my non roblox one. you can guess what character ill voice (its one of the puter guys i drew a while back. yeah.) funnily enough i didnt realise it immediately but my brother, whos the second confirmed va, literally voices the brother of the guy im voicing. fun stuff

i still love painter and p03 btw my husband and wife that i will never *ever* leave

i believe i am still very much the same person i was 11 days ago. 💔

anyway its been pretty bad for me lately but those things (and knowing ill be able to get painter plush MY HUSBAND I LOVE YOU AHEM AHEM COUGH COUGH) kinda make me happier. i still need to clean my desk though holy shit. or else ill never be able to work on ena paper dolls and life size cardboard painter (i needed a reason to make doubles of him than just having the plush and remembered i not only have lots of cardboard waiting to be used, but i have paint and actually LIKE to paint. i must become….the_p.AI.nter. ba dum tss. sorry my humour didnt get any better)

as for p03? im yapping alot abt painter that it makes it seem like theres some kind of favouritism. no theres not its just:

p03 actually has a body in canon unlike painter whos “just a computer”. gonna be hard to create a LIFE SIZE P03 with what i have. especially how my design is slightly more complex (how do i make an antenna). i HAVE tried to make a paper doll a while back, having the sketch of how it would look and how it works too but i gave up on that. probably also did cause its an older design. whoopsies.

something i REALLY want is that one plush. unfortunately, it turns out, i am fucking poor and not old enough to spend my money MYSELF. so. i guess thats gonna have to wait till i have a job

id say what else i want of course but thats unfortunately none of tumblr’s business. anyway i like botopia. it was banger

thats it for me or else ill hit the limit. also i might overshare which i dont really wanna do. bai guys