#I KNOW THIS ISN'T LIKE A NEW THING BUT I ~LIKE~ THINKIN BOUT IT

[c1tyhaunts]

THE EGO, ID, AND SUPEREGO. and although my hatred for Freud stems deep, Jacket/Richard's psyche, perception of self, and thought processes filters through the concept that he has three actors within him controlling his actions: his instincts (ID), his perceived reality (Ego), and fragments of his morality (Superego).

In the HM games, his actions are often interjected by Richard, Don Juan, and Ramsus, which are the physical manifestations/representation of his brain processes during his coma.

Ramsus leans to his ID - his impulses and behavior; the adrenaline seeking tendencies, the need for the next high. This is Richard's addictive behavior personalized, and those thoughts are often angry, sharp, and snapping.

Opposing that is his superego, the reminders that he's only a human, after all - the soft touch of Don Juan, represented as the women he uses for solace. These thoughts minimize his behavior, reminds him that internally, he can be a good person if he tried. These thoughts are tender, playing to his heart strings. To some degree, he yearns for these perceptions to be true.

Until he leans into his Ego - Richard. The identity that has been with him from the start. Richard is who he is, from birth to death. These thoughts are literal, direct, and completely based in objective truth. And yet, Ego often sits quiet, letting the other two dictate his actions as if he refuses to realize that everything is his fault at the end. So often, Ego is neglected for the highs the other two provides.

Richard Fritz doesn't want to face the truth, and when he does, it's because there's no high to chase anymore.

[sporefound]

thinking about this but: on the divide between amanita / yvonne, nita tries to separate herself from her life as yvonne because she feels she is no longer worthy of the name / life connected to it. in her mind, she survived & thus that means she is deserving of life, but not that life if that makes sense? she failed as yvonne & her choosing a new name is her Essentially burying herself & using it as emotional compost

[fairyrcts]

thinkin bout you, c.s.

by fairyrcts contents - angst, cursing, intended lowercase, use of y/n, 3rd person, mentions of depression

it was 2 am in new york and y/n was just getting home. her day was exhausting to say the least. the struggle of being a full time college student with a job and rent to pay in new york is something that was unimaginable.

she fiddled with her keys, eventually finding her apartment key. she unlocked her door to her roomate, aleah, sat on the couch watching some cheesy rom-com on her laptop. y/n dropped her bag and kicked off her shoes at the door.

y/n stopped in her tracks. "christopher sturniolo?" her voice was slightly shooken.

"hey hey." aleah waved.

"hey, girl. watcha watchin?" y/n's voice rang as she walked to the open kitchen, grabbing a cup and poaring ice water.

"27 dresses. literally never seen this dumb shit before but evangeline wants me to see it."

aleah was the definition of a stud. she was gorgeous, too. dark complexion, curly hair that hung in front of her face and piercings on her plump lips and nose.

evangeline was her girlfriend, who y/n's only met a few times. usually in the mornings after getting very little sleep from their noises filling the small apartment.

"man, that movie's so mid. did we get any mail?" y/n chuckled as she walked back in the living room, sitting in the opposing sofa.

"any mail?"

"uh, one from some credit card company and someone left a note in the crack of the door. said to y/n from chris sturnolo." she spoke, her eyes not leaving the computer.

christopher was her childhood bestfriend. they were in almost every class together since kindergarten. they were inseparable. they did sports together, went to prom together, went to get their drivers license together (guess who didn't pass). they were family, at this point.

after college, she never heard from him again. happy birthdays and merry christmases every year or likes on every post, but not a single text, call, email, anything. she talked to nick and matt regularly, but not chris.

she'd ask how he was and they'd give short, vague, one-word answers. it was unfair, really. because there wasn't another soul on earth that knew her better than chris did, and all that time was wasted.

it's been 3 years without a word. and just now he's contacting her. her mind rambled as to what might have gone wrong, otherwise, there wasn't a reason to speak to her. now, especially. she'd been such a mess after leaving for cornell, and she debated not going to stay with chris. but he convinced her, saying he'll stay in touch and talk to her every day.

so much for that promise.

"uh, yeah, chris sturniolo, sturnolo, stromboli, all the same to me." her roomate shook her out of her thoughts.

"aleah, where's the damn letter?" y/n's voice sounded scared almost, not understanding what's going on.

"over on the bookshelf." aleah pointed to the letter wrapped with a little bow and a stamp in the corner of the boston streets.

her hands hurried and undid the bow, ripping the envelope open and unfolding the letter.

Dear Y/n

There seriously isn't an explanation for my distance. After you left for college I fell into such a state of depression and I don't know why but I was scared to contact you. I mean, you're out doing great big things, NYU and detective criminal type stuff. Meanwhile, I'm still here in Massachusetts, I just moved out of my parents house a year and a half ago and my career is making videos on the internet. I guess it was the jealousy that stopped me from speaking to you or some kind of fear. But all I know is that I miss you, dearly. And I guess this is kind of me asking do you think about me still? Because I haven't stopped thinkin about you.

(p.s. i know i couldve sent this over text but i didnt know if you blocked me or not)

just his handwriting caused tears to stream down y/n's face. the note itself, the words and his explanation made her sob.

she made her way to her room, shutting the door behind her. she reached for her phone in her back pocket and called chris's contact.

it rang three times before he answered. there was silence on his end, soft sobs on hers.

"chris, where the hell are you and why did you answer so late?" she said through sniffles and cries.

"i'm uh, in syracuse right now. we're here with nate for his birthday. i asked matt for your address and uhm, i was waiting for you to call." chris's voice sounded nervous almost.

"so you're.. able to come see me?" she asked to which chris affirmed.

"give me the name of your hotel. i'm coming over." she spoke. her tone wasn't demanding, but chris knew it was a demand.

chris told her the name and room number, y/n writing down each letter. after he had explained the whole thing she hung up without warning. she walked out of her room, her movements were fast as she wiped tears off her cheeks.

"woah, what's up?" aleah asked, concerned.

"i'll tell you when i'm back." y/n brushed her off, grabbing her keys, leaving and shutting the door quite harshly.

she jogged down the stairs, her hand grazing the railings and the other jingling the keys with each step.

she pushed the door that so clearly said pull. the frustration just added to her unexplainable feelings.

"why the fuck won't this shit open!?" she shouted. the small, teenage boy at the front desk squeaked out a few words.

"it's uhm. it's pull. y-you're pushing it." y/n looked down at the sign.

"shut the fuck up, curtis!" she yelled once more, yanking the door and storming out of it.

"dumb ass name." y/n mumbled to herself. she walked hurriedly to her car, clicking the unlock button on her keeys and jumping in the drivers seat.

she turned it on, putting the ignition in reverse. she internally conflicted wether or not to put on music. of course, there was no need for it. buttt to make the whole event more dramatic, she turned on her playlist, thinkin bout you by frank ocean coming in through the speakers.

the music made tears swell up in her eyes. the whole situation was just fucked.

her car sped, running through red lights here and there, honking at any car that was slow or in front of her.

when she arrived at the hotel, she shut off her music and her car, locking it as she slammed the door of it behind her. she pulled the door to the entrance to the entrence of the large hotel, the door refusing to open.

"it's a push door!" the lady at the front desk yelled loud enough to be heard.

"oh, fuck me." y/n groaned, finally opening the door. she stormed inro the elevator, the front desk lady attempting to stop her by shouting 'miss'.

as if that was gonna stop her. y/n pressed the 4 button aggressively, multiple times.

"hurry the fuck up!" she was so out of it, she was yelling at an inanimate button.

when the door started opening, she squeezed herself through the space, looking at the numbers on each door until she found the 103 in a big font.

she knocked hard and loud continuously until the door opening interrupted her.

and now, she was faced with the man who made her, and broke her.

the two stared into one anothers eyes momentarily before y/n brought a hand up and smacked the side of his face.

a 'youch' came out of chris's mouth. he rubbed the side of his face that was now red while y/n began rambling.

"now, what the fuck is wrong with you! i mean, you know better! christopher, holy fuck, where do i even begin with you!?" her voice rang through the halls as she pushed herself into the room.

"i- i don't know." chris's tone was sorrowful, but that wasn't necessarily something she cared about right now.

"you are such a douchebag! i fucking can't believe you. ignoring my calls, texts, letters, everything! the only information i ever got about you was through 10 picture slideshows on instagram and your brothers, who werent much of a help! you can say whatever all you want, but chris, i was so mentally fucked up! i was so behind in my classes, that you know i put a humongous amount of effort into getting into, i was rude and emotional all the time and pushed away people i love and adore because i was so hung up on the thought that you stopped caring and you stopped loving me! you know how terrible of a feeling that is? to believe that the one person you love most in the world doesn't give two damn shits about what you're doing now? do you?!"

she yelled and yelled and yelled as her eyes didn't just shed tears, but boy, they poured.

"n-no, no i don't know how that feels." christopher mumbled as water welled up in his own eyes.

"yeah, and that's because you know i'm incapable of unloving you! you're aware of my love for you, because i reminded you every day. you know i wear my heart on my sleeve and you still pulled this dumb shit! i don't even know how you managed to do such thing! i was at such a terrible place, chris."

her words were less aggressive now as she cried tears of sadness rather than anger. she sat herself on one of the two hotel beds while chris sat beside her. he awkwardly pulled her into a hug, y/n leaning into it immediately.

her head laid in his lap as he rubbed her back, whispering small shushes every now and then while she kept bawling.

"y'know. i've been thinkin' bout you. i never stopped, really. i just- i don't even have an excuse. and you can keep yelling at me, and i'll keep listening, but i can't explain as to why i didn't. i just don't know, y/n." his voice was calm and gentle and his hands glided up and down her side.

once she finally stopped crying, she sat up and wiped her tears. "I'm sorry." chris stated, his eyes meaningful along with his voice.

that's all she wanted to hear.

he pulled her into an embrace once more, engulfing himself in the girl he missed so deeply.

"i was thinkin' bout you, too, y'know." she mumbled into his neck.

and that's all he wanted to hear.

[skele-bunny]

Thinkin' bout Terzo/Omega & Condom breaking

Accidental condom breaking & creampie below 💪

Terzo is an absolute nervous wreck for his first time with a ghoul. But it's his lover, his Omega, he trusts him. Terzo had had plenty of sex with humans, knows their anatomy like the back of his hand now. But Omega? HAH. Nope. Even had the embarrassing "the hell hounds and the sea siren" talk w/Special (never wants it again.) but he took one thing seriously about it.

Ghouls are very, very fertile. Terzo knows he is, too. Been tested through and through, even his birth control slips and he needs a second safeguard. Now, he wants a third with Omega.

Mumbling apologies and just full of embarrassment as he holds out a box of magnums. "I'm sorry... It was the biggest I could find."

Omega is sweet about it, just taking the box and kissing all over his human mate, even biting where a Ghoul bond should be. Purring up a storm and making sure his human is so comfortable and relaxed. When Terzo is presented in front of him, he can't help but be in pure awe at the delicate hips in this new light. They've seen each other naked before with some handsy and oral, but this is completely different. Whole new ball game. Just settling between Terzo's legs and eating his pussy out like it's his last meal. Omega loves giving oral, Terzo loves receiving it. Ghoul tongues are long, they can squirm, and Omega has that specialty to hit all the right places.

Eventually they end up in the position of Omega being guided by Terzo as he tries to figure out how to put the condom on (obviously not a common ghoul item.) before it only gets right at the begining of his knot and starts to strain.

"Is it supposed to go all the way down?"

"Well, yes, but... I'm sure it'll be fine! Hopefully? Ahh..."

They share a few more kisses before finally delving in. It's so wonderful and fuck Omega is huge. Not just in length but girth as well, and Terzo isn't very big himself in regards of size. His entrance just enough for Omega to slide in, but once he starts slowly thrusting he's hitting right on Terzo's cervix. He's slow, sweet, and they're staring into each other's eyes as they welcome this newfound pleasure - this newfound admiration for one another.

"You're so beautiful, amore mio." Terzo just caressing down Omega's face, moaning and his breath catching each time he thrusts up.

After a while it feels safer to get faster. Harder. Terzo's legs on Omega's shoulders, screaming his name as his poor headboard starts slamming against the wall just as hard as Omega's tip is slamming against his cervix. Papa is seeing stars, babbling while pawing at his t-dick and Omega's chest. His nails scratching down his front before he's wracked with sobs as he squirts.

Omega starts to slow down. "Are you alright?"

"Oh don't you dare stop! You keep going or I swear you'll never touch me again!"

And Omega can't have that, now can he?

Giving even more to his lover, his mouth lax as his growls leave, drooling over Terzo's surgical scars and thumbs practically touching as he holds Terzo's small waist as he fucks into him. His knot starts getting bigger and bigger, Omega too lost in his pleasure to acknowledge how the band starts to strain more and more. Terzo is just full on screaming at this point, not even able to form words before Omega shoves his knot deep inside.

And Terzo feels it.

His cervix just being flooded with warmth and a heavy flow, tears streaming down his face more from the overwhelming feeling. His human anatomy not accustomed to that much semen, forming a small bulge in his abdomen. His cunt is gaping and slippery for Omega, testing the waters and seeing he can't pull out like with other mates. They're just catching their breath, staring at each other. Terzo doesn't dare speak about it, just in case what he felt was wrong.

When it's time, Omega pulls out and their eyes just widen at how destroyed this condom is. A small bubble in some of the broken rubber full of cum, bits and pieces dangling off and the band close to snapping. Omega just starts apologizing profusely, freaking out - which in return makes Terzo freak out, and now they're freaking out together.

After the initial shock, they're able to catch their breaths and talk. It was a genuine accident... They're able to calm themselves with logic! If mating ghouls have a hard time catching clutches/kits topside, surely it's near impossible for ghouls/humans to conceive! It's never been done before! They're laughing, content with that and snuggling together in their bliss, Omega holding Terzo close.

Still... Terzo can't help but think of "what if"s.... And his hand absentmindedly hovers over his cum-bump.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Rainy Days | Jeon Jungkook

Based off of Rainy Days by V (obvi lol) Summary: Rainy days I'm thinkin' 'bout you Pairing: f!reader x Jeon Jungkook Word Count: 1.5k~ a/n: This is my second time posting this because it didn't do too well the first time and I was really proud of it so I wanted to give it another shot. Hopefully some of you might give it a chance? Thank you for all of the new readers and thanks especially to the people who joined my Taglist!

Waking up to an empty bed again I'm hit with my new reality. You're gone, and nothing I could've said or done would've changed your mind. Checking my phone I've noticed that I'm always waiting for your call. One that might tell me that you changed your mind, that you're coming home.

One where you ask me to open the door, telling me you want to start over, but it never comes. It's been like this for weeks and yet I'm still reminded of your presence every damn day. Seeing memories of you in every inch of what used to be our home, now feeling incomplete with only myself to reside. 

Walking into the kitchen, I'm flooded with the countless time I would find you there, bathed in sunlight dressed in one of my shirts and making us breakfast early in the morning. I would hold your waist from behind, receiving a scolding every time for scaring you. Going to rest and unwind I'm reminded of our nights together, feeling content because after a long and hard day just the thought of holding you close and hearing you laugh was one of the many things about you that would keep me going.

In my art studio, where you would sit as my model and let me keep you as my muse, tracing your every curve and keeping my eyes trained on you to memorize your soft features. On occasion you would find me in there painting something more abstract and that was something that made you laugh the most, saying how silly they looked. I would make them time and time again just to hear you laugh like that everyday.  

No matter where I look you're always there, haunting my every thought. What I would give to go back to one of those moments again. To just be in your presence and feel your touch, with your lips on mine and hear you call out my name. Just one more time, one more time to prove myself to you.

But it would never work, no matter how many times I would ask you to come back so we could talk things out you would simply tell me that you don't love me anymore, that you've fallen out of love with me. That's the only excuse you've given me, nothing more, and nothing less. Telling me I did nothing wrong, that I'm still the same man you fell in love with, but that our life together just wasn't enough for you anymore. 

I hear a notification come in and see that it's a text from a friend asking if I'll go out for drinks with him but I decline, knowing that it won't do me any good. No matter how many times he's offered, telling me it'll be good to get out and meet new people I always end up saying no. I've come to the conclusion that love just isn't for me, if it's not with you then it doesn't matter. Starting over with someone just seems pointless, spending years with someone, thinking they're the one to just be told that you're not enough. No, that's not something I want to happen to me again. 

My attention is brought to the world outside my window, hearing the sounds of rain pitter pattering on the roof above me. Rainy days used to be our favorite, when we had no where to go and we could just stay inside all day. We would always crack a window just so we could hear the rain fall and the thunder rumble. Although you would tell me you weren't afraid, I would still catch you cuddling in closer when the thunder would sound and the lightning would light up the sky.

I thought we had gotten closer lately, that we began to understand each other better. But the day you told me it was over was the day that I realized that it was only me opening up to you, and you just pretended to listen. Thinking back I started to notice your blank stares more, how you would shut down telling me that you were too tired to talk today. Some days it felt like I was living with a stranger the way that you would move around the place avoiding me at every chance you got.

You started spending more time with your new friends and would text me saying that you were coming home late and not to wait up. By the time you would come back I would feel the bed dip alerting me of your arrival but you wouldn't bother to touch me, or even let me know that you got home safe. The next morning I would hear you close the door and receive a text letting me know that you got called into work early and would make excuses that you were putting in some extra work so you could show that you deserved a promotion and that things would go back to normal once you got it. 

Yet even when you had gotten it you became more and more distant, saying that there were a lot more responsibilities involved than you had anticipated. But when I would check your social media after you had cancelled another one of our dates I would see how you had spent your night partying and drinking. When I would confront you about it you would tell me that it was work related and that you were required to attend.

Many of those confrontations had ended in fights that would tear us further and further apart. I had decided to give you your space after that and when you would finally talk to me again it felt like you were only doing it because you felt guilty. I would get hopeful, thinking that things had gone back to normal and we could make up for all the time we lost but you would fall back into those habits again once you realized that spending time with me had become pointless. 

Towards the end of our relationship you had told me that you were going on a business trip and would be gone for several days. I had sent you off hoping that you would come back and that some time apart might be good for us. On the day that you were supposed to come back I didn't hear a peep from you. I decided that I should check in with you the morning after to just see if you might've gotten in late or if your flight home had gotten delayed and I wouldn't want to add to your stress if that had been the case.

When I had woken up I decided to give you until at least midday until I reached out and when I did, you answered and told me that you weren't coming home. When I had asked why you just said there was nothing left for you there. I had later found out that you had fallen for someone else and you had gone to meet them on your supposed business trip. You told me I didn't need to worry about sending you anything because you already had everything that you needed and to just throw away the rest.

Doing that was one of the harder parts of this breakup. Seeing all the things I had bought you and the clothes you had worn over the years that still held your familiar sent broke me. I had to have that same friend that invited me out come help me clear your stuff out because I couldn't bring myself to do it alone. I kept a few things that I couldn't bare to get rid of, "You sure you want to keep that? I know how much that meant to her, it'll just serve as another reminder of what happened" I nodded my head and set it to the side as well as a few other things before he took a couple of boxes out that held the life we shared together. 

Weeks after the breakup I still lived in denial, thinking this was all just a dream, that I would open my eyes and we would still be together. But as the days went by I would wake up time and time again to an empty bed. Reaching my arm out beside me and expecting to feel your warmth were the days that hurt the most. Thinking you would be here in my arms again and that things haven't changed. Then it would all come back and I would feel wide awake when that same reality hit me once more.

The way I'm living isn't healthy and I know that, but I can't seem to drag myself out of this endless loop I've trapped myself in. I'm not sure which one would hurt more, living with the ghost of you or living trying to forget you. That's something I don't think I could bare to find out yet, so I'll just spend those rainy days thinking about you.

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[scoonsalicious]

Reminder: I am on a posting break for new content until May 23rd so that I can focus on writing WFLT...

In the meantime, please enjoy this fourth and final installment of Unwanted: Unusables, or, chapters from the original story that never made it into the final draft. Today, we're looking at the discarded remnants of Chapter 8: (what would become) Unexpected. As a reminder, Jade went by Jewel in those early days, lol. This version of the chapter never got finished, so it ends abruptly and isn't nearly as long as the last two Unusables.

Enjoy!

The morning of Jade's move-in day, you woke up with a pit in your stomach. It wasn't remotely Bucky related-- he had done an excellent job of calming all those fears over the last week (and it certainly helped that his erection was currently pressed into your backside as he nuzzled at your neck); the girl was just mean and you couldn't shake the feeling she'd be a giant pain in your ass.

"What 'cha thinkin' 'bout, doll?" Bucky asked, his voice still thick and coated with sleep. "Can practically hear your teeth grindin' together."

"Sorry," you murmured, turning around in his arms to face him. "Just mentally gearing myself up for the arrival of our new teammate later this morning." You practically gagged on the word "teammate," and Bucky let out a low, rumbling chuckle. Leaning in to kiss the tip of your nose, he said "I'm hopin' it won't turn out as bad as all that, but if it does, I promise I got your back, 'kay? I'll help you beat the shit outta her, 'cause no one messes with my girl."

"Barnes, that might be the sexiest thing that's ever come out of that mouth of yours," you murmured as you leaned in to kiss him.

"Even sexier than this tongue?" he asked, sticking the appendage in question out for your review. "'Cause I know that gets you making all kinds of pretty noises for me."

"Hmm, might have to remind me again what that tongue can do, then I'll let you know if it's sexier than what you just said," you told him with a sly grin.

"Gladly." His smile was feral as he rolled you both over so he was hovering on top of you. He slowly began peppering your face and neck with kisses, working his way down your body. When he'd finally settled himself between your thighs, he looked up at you, blue eyes like sapphires in the morning light. "Better make yourself comfortable, Baby doll. We're gonna be here for awhile."

*

You were the last two to arrive in the common room for Jewel's welcome party, because of course Tony had to make it party. Bucky's arm was wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you in close to him as you whispered something silly and flirty into his ear, causing you both to laugh before sharing a quick kiss.

"Oh, are finally publicly acknowledging this, then?" Tony asked, giving you a knowing look. "Pepper owes me $100 bucks."

You cocked your head. "Not you, too, Boss," you groaned. "Has everyone been placing bets on us?"

The corner of Tony's mouth cocked up in a smile. "Literally everyone. We have a board in one of the lesser-used conference rooms to keep track of the odds and everyone's wagers," he said, raising his tumbler of whiskey to you in mock salute. "Only one who never bet was Rogers, which was odd, because we all figured he'd have an advantage with inside information."

You felt Bucky's arm tense around you and a quick glance to your left showed you his jaw had tightened at the mention of Steve, as well. "Everything okay, Buck?" you asked him.

He looked at you and smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, 's all good, Pocket." He pressed a quick kiss to your temple.

Before you could press the issue further, however, FRIDAY announced that Steve was on his way down to the common room with Jewel.

"We had Cap show her to her suite," Tony offered, "so she could drop off her stuff before heading back down. And my God, did she have a lot of stuff. You'd think we'd invited her to take up permanent residence, not just a three month probie position."

You raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing. You didn't like that she was here, but you were intent on playing nice. It was only three months, after all, and you doubted she'd be able to hide her true colors from the rest of the team for that long. You could get through it, especially with Bucky's support.

The elevator doors opened with a ding and soon enough, Steve was leading Jewel into the common room. You had to admit, she looked stunning, her raven hair flowing in loose curls down to her waist, her tight jeans accentuating a figure you'd been previously sure was unobtainable outside of Jessica Rabbit. For a moment, you wished that people could wear their inner ugliness on the outside. Bucky's arm tightened around your shoulder.

"You got this," he whispered into your ear before pressing his lips to your temple. You leaned into him, the press of your body expressing your gratitude, speaking for you when you couldn't find the words to voice your emotions, when the words weren't enough.

You watched Jewel's eyes span the room, as though she were searching for something. Her eyes lit up when they landed on Bucky-- someone-- and she made a beeline straight toward where the two of you stood.

[akewanchan]

[Break My Case] Personal Story - Akehoshi Hinomiya, Part 1

Translation by akewanchan. Source is mobile game Break My Case.

TL note:

(edit) Thanks to Imai for letting me know that Kyousuke is actually a reference to Kyousuke from Stand My Heroes!

For clarification, Hinomiya is referred to as Ninomiya in an instance. This isn't a typo!

Ain’t sayin’ working yourself to the bone or yer surroundings don’t play a role.

I’ve seen folks pullin’ it off.

The real thing… Talent as ya say, got no mercy… 

Livin’ in high cotton, all the luxury, don’t come to mind no more.

No doubt I wished a lifetime supply of it by now. 

Akehoshi: ….

Akehoshi: (..... I’m home?)

Akehoshi: (Eh… managed to get back home properly. Good goin’)

Moving my head a wee bit while probing ‘round for my phone was ‘nough to make my world spin, making me all sluggish. 

Akehoshi: (Aaah. Still hammered as I can be. I’m parched…)

Akehoshi: …Ah. Darnit

Akehoshi: (Ain’t refilled dispenser’s bottle.)

Akehoshi: (Do recall thinking ‘bout 30 minutes before leaving the house yesterday, how I gotta swap it out since I’d wanna have a sip in the morning.)

Ain’t like anybody’s gonna complain ‘bout sleeping in on a sunday with no plans in store.

Even then, I sorta had a hunch I wouldn’t be able to hit the hay a second round if I tried to.

Feelin’ as if I was lifting a heavy load, I stood up.

Akehoshi: …Bwech

A wave of nausea washed over me yet again from gulpin’ down lukewarm tap water ‘till the last drop.

Akehoshi: (Shoot. Reckon I went too far yesterday. Sitting here and not rememberin’ what got me plastered like this just means I’m done for.)

Akehoshi: Shoulda called it quits halfway through…

Woman: …Huh! Don’t tell me, is that Ninomiya Akehoshi?

Man: Whozzat?

Woman: He’s a celeb. Y’know, that “way too angelic child actor!” guy. He showed up in TV dramas until he grew quite a bit. 

Akehoshi: Ahaha. Sure can see through the darkness in here, eh. You watched ‘em? Thank ya kindly

Woman: Eeeh, oh my god…! He’s the real deal!

Akehoshi: (....Real deal.)

That’s right, yet it ain’t.

Unfortunately, I was different.

From beginning to end, all the way through.

Akehoshi: (….Oh)

Akehoshi: Someone’s awake. Morning

Yuragi: …You’re alive.

Akehoshi: Ahaha, do feel like I’m on death's doorstep. Am muddling through one way or n’other

Akehoshi: Did I cause a ruckus in my drunken stupor when I got back? Pardon me for waking ya up if I did. 

Yuragi: Don’t you remember

Akehoshi: Not a darn thing for a while now. But good goin’ on my part for making it back home, right?

Yuragi: …

Akehoshi: (Huh. What’s that look for.)

Akehoshi: …Reckon that it ain’t~

Yuragi: Yesterday, what did you do.

Akehoshi: Eh? That’s new. Usually it’s in through ear and out the other with you when I’m doin’ the talking.

Akehoshi: Was just havin’ a drink to answer ya, though

Yuragi: Anything else? 

Akehoshi: Other stuff… nothin’ in particular?

Yuragi: …. ‘Kay

Yuragi: Then, s’fine

Akehoshi: Eh. Wait

Yuragi: What

Akehoshi: Naw, ain't it my line to ask what

Yuragi: …

Akehoshi: (If I did do somethin’ wrong, he oughta been pissed the moment he saw me, no? Seriously, what… Ah)

Yuragi: ---You scared me… Lights aren’t on either, what are you doing

Yuragi: …Can you stand?

Akehoshi: ….

Yuragi: Water. Want some?

Akehoshi: Don’t

Yuragi: Eh

Akehoshi: ---I said, I don’t need anything.

Akehoshi: … Aaah….

That feeling of swatting his hand away, the sound of water hitting the floor.

And then, the tone of voice I usually never use against other people.

Akehoshi: (....That ain’t a look of anger. It’s one of concern, huh.)

Yuragi: Remembered?

Akehoshi: I did

Akehoshi: Had been mullin’ over it myself of how I kinda drank a wee bit too much yesterday.

Akehoshi: But turns out it was more than that. Sorry for all the trouble I caused ya

Yuragi: ….

Without a word Yura turned the other way with a hmph, opened the freezer and started diggin’ through the stock of ice cream.

He picked out one, and while I was thinkin’ he’d just go back to his room-- He put that popsicle on that table, leaving it as is. 

Akehoshi: …Eh. You mean you’re giving this, to me?

Yuragi: I’m going to bed, don’t wake me up.

Akehoshi: Ah. Sure, thanks

Akehoshi: ….Reckon I made him worry.

Around the time I headed to my room after a quick shower, my mood improved somewhat compared to when I woke up. 

Akehoshi: (....Still rock solid, eh.)

I absentmindedly looked around my room while hitting the top of my ice cream with a spoon.

And then my eyes caught a glimpse of a DVD set from that old TV drama that was brought up plenty yesterday. 

Akeboshi: (...Watched it more than enough by now.)

Ain’t like I had anything I wanted to do, so I opened the DVD set to kill some time until my ice cream thawed.

Out of the six CD’s, I took out the 5 with ease and put ‘em on playback.

Akehoshi: …..

A child actor lucky enough to hit it big, his career lasted just short of 10 years until retirement. As a final conclusion to his acting career he received a spot in a TV drama set in a school.

I reckon that I, a so-so kid who wasn’t fated to be the main lead until the very end, received the main focus in an episode as a gift of kindness. 

However.

Akehoshi: …Yer amazing no matter how many times I watch it. Kyousuke-san. 

Akehoshi: The “real deal” is different.

He debuted a few years before I called it quits, and he made a beeline for the top spot within my generation.

What kinda connections or brute force got nothing to do with it, that much is clear when you sit through it just once.

Akehoshi: (That’s why… no matter how many times I watch it.)

Akehoshi: …What’s with that? That awkward silence just now. 

Reason why it didn’t take him 10 years to have grasped them roles as a rookie wasn’t luck or his surroundings, and this one episode makes me realize again and again each time. 

Akehoshi: (Aah, shoulda stopped right there before turning around.)

Akehoshi: (S’important line, yet it’s all pouring out--)

Akehoshi: …. Haha, 

Doing it more like this woulda been better, doing it more like that woulda been better.

Realizing I hadn’t learned my lesson thinking ‘bout stuff that wouldn’t reach my past self, a halfhearted chuckle escaped my mouth.

With my own strength, I wasn’t able to grasp what I wanted. 

It didn’t come true.

Just like this TV drama that’s frozen in time, no matter how many times I’ve seen it by now, it won’t change.

Akehoshi: …..I’m sure the Akehoshi-kun on screen wouldn’t wanna hear the ramblings of a guy who got off that ride a long time ago either, eh. Let’s just stop here

“My one and only wish, won’t come true anymore.”

Once I got that through my head, not a single thing mattered anymore.

But, I reckon that was for the best.

Rather than obsessing ‘bout what I can’t get, taking what I do get is a way of living that’s more suited for the likes of me.

Akehoshi: (Ah, spoon’s getting through.)

A blend of vanilla, chocolate and cookie cream. 

I stuffed my mouth with a spoonful while wondering where you can even find these sorta things, and sure enough it was so sweet I could only laugh.

Akehoshi: (Felt it in my bones this ain’t the thing to stomach when yer hungover.)

Akehoshi: (But, it do seem to be the flavor Yura likes. Let’s just eat it all up.)

Akehoshi: ….. Thank ya.

Looking at the wall, I gave my word of gratitude to Yura who’s surely drifted off to dreamland by now, and I took one more bite.

This sweetness so strong it’ll jolt you awake, slowly melted away together with this lazy afternoon.

[yourpalmickeymouse]

Hola, Mickey! I was curious, what type of archetype do ya' think ya' fit when it comes to stressful situations? Are you the type to go with the flow and be mostly laid-back and deal with it, or are you the type to freak out and try to fix everything as quick as possible? Somewhere in-between, perhaps? I myself need control of every situation. 😅 Of course, it's impossible to box anybody, so maybe you don't see yourself as neither. Have a lovely day. :)

(i hope I did this right, I *just* stumbled upon this blog, lol)

Hiya butimnogirlstoy,

What a funny coincidence, Minnie and I were just talkin' about this. She actually made quite the interestin' observation 'bout me. 🤔

Accordin' to her, sometimes when a small issue appears that in retrospect isn't really that big of a deal, I guess I sorta freak out 'bout them. She mentioned the time when the Public Works Department changed the day for trash pickup from Friday to Monday. She said that it was all I could talk 'bout for a month and I was frantically callin' the Department office and pacin' all 'round my house. 🤷

Though honestly I don't think I was really stressin' out much. I mean I kinda had this whole system when I took out the trash on Friday and the new date sorta changed that. Also they didn't really release notice 'bout the change in an effective way. They sent an email that could very easily have gone in the junk mail or most people would have missed if they don't check their mail much. They really should've have sent actual mail to our physical mailboxes and even then they probably should have held a vote so that we, the citizens of Mouseton, could share our thoughts on the-

Oh 😅

Maybe she does have a point.

But that wasn't all she said. She also said that whenever a big problem comes up that should be very stressful for the average person, like dealin' with very violent villains, I actually handle it very well. She says that I sorta get into this "locked-in" mode and put all my energy into handlin' the problem and seem to not let the threat of danger bother me. I mean, I guess she may be right 'bout that. A lot of people say that I'm very brave, but I feel like I just do what needs to be done.

Minnie did however add that she actually worries more about me in these situations. Apparently, I have a hard time knowin' my limits and keep gettin' into more and more threatenin' situations. To be honest, it can be hard to reflect on these moments because I don't really remember what I'm thinkin' during them. I guess in some way that helps me be able to handle these tough situations... But I don't know if that's a good thing.

Well, I hope that answers your question!

- M.M.

[aria0fgold]

Of gems and pages au in the brain again. I was thinking like: It's an au, I don't have to think much bout the friendquests and act 5 happenings when my au is set in a new loop+ scenario and then I remembered... That new loop+ relies on the act 5's loop a bit so now I got to thinkin more about the thing.

Like, with the friendquests, it'll turn out a liiil differently in that it'd be Odile's suggestion for Siffrin to check up on the others considering that the Siff in this au has no recollection of practically anything with the many loops that had occurred. Odile figures out that the others needed help with something and considering how the timeloop appears to be connected with Siff, thinks that it's important for them to be helping the others instead of her. So the friendquests goes like this now:

Odile suggests Siff check up on the others then asks Siff about it afterwards to figure out the next step. She finds out about Mira's bonding proposals and the fact that Siff needed to know Bonbon's favourite foods (for that one, instead of the focus being on Siff choosing, it'd be Odile). After finding that out during loops, Odile drops it as a hint like "I think I saw Mira looking over some bonding proposals, although, don't tell her I said that." and "I should stock up for Boniface's favourite foods. I have a list here, but I don't really need it anymore. You can have it." Meanwhile for her friendquest, she'll be the one to outright ask Siff for help instead of the other way around.

Also, the Euphrasie sequence still has Siff be the one to talk to her, that's also the biggest hint that Odile got about the timeloops being connected to Siffrin (Odile might also try to be the one to talk to Euphrasie too thinking it'd help, but... it didn't). So yea, those are the possible changes to the friendquests. Now for Act 5... Since Odile doesn't really benefit much to the spells the others unlock during the friendquests, I think there's no reason for her to seek them out and try to speedrun it the way that Siff did in canon. So the Act 5 sequence in this au is just directed at Siff. Odile reaching her breaking point and just confronts Siff about it, but horribly...

During that moment, Siff Will loop several times but he won't even remember much of it and it just upsets Odile more and more cuz it's clear as day! It's so crystal clear that the timeloop is connected to Siffrin and their emotions and their wish! SO WHAT IS HIS WISH?! But the more Odile pushes them for the answer in such an aggressive manner, the more Siffrin doesn't wanna speak with how horrified he is. And then Odile notices that, notices just how horrible she went about it and finally just lets go, and takes a step back away from Siff to cool off (and take the orbs in the clocktower while everyone isn't around).

She waits until everyone goes in the clocktower to go to the House. Maybe she can get an answer out of the King instead, maybe if she kills him herself, Something would happen cuz clearly she's-- whatever being is responsible for this's-- "Chosen One" of handling the timeloops being controled by her family member. The way the House warps in Act 5 warps in a manner that "keeps her away," it wants to stall her basically. Courtesy of the theory by someone else about the House during Act 5 warps according to Siffrin's desire of getting to the King faster. So here, it warps to the desire of keeping Odile out cuz as hurt as Siffrin was during that whole argument, when she didn't arrive in the clocktower, he fears that she might be doing something dangerous. And he's right.

Also, during the battle with the King, Odile wasn't being frozen in time the way that Siffrin was in canon. In this au, Odile fights that back and for a split second her lvl reached 100 during then. That has repercussions... which will be: Her body cracking aka getting turned into stone for not only using up all of her craft power but Nearly breaking the limit of which the body can handle. I say Nearly, cuz before Odile can blast the King away with a force of a thousand suns, the family members got to her in time, which broke her focus on the attack and she collapsed from it but it still doesn't change the fact that she Did nearly went past the limit there. And now she's Dying-- But wait! We have new loop+ for that :D

[autisticempathydaemon]

A friend of mine's been tryna get me into Redacted and shit and told me bout your matchups so Imma give it a go

DO 4 LOVE by Snoh Alegra. Specifically the part "And in my world, only you / Make me do for love, what I would not do"

Had to look up what you were talkin bout, my friend said Id be a 2? So Imma take their word and go with that

I don't really watch things unless someone else is showing me?? But I'm pretty sure I saw this one vid about the best cocktail and fresh herb pairings which was pretty fucking cool

Is that a thing people have...? I guess I didn't have one really?? Friends were kinda hard to keep when I was younger

I don't really sleep if I can help it. If I do, it's usually cuz I'm around the right people y'know? And usually cuz I'm bout to pass out or some shit

My name isn't changed across the board or anything but I chose my other name cuz I wanted something that felt like it represented what I wanna be. I like being a guide in a weird way, and there was something bout my name that just feels right now. I dunno, it's kinda weird cuz I still vibe with my first name too

Had to pull it up again so I didn't fuck up the title but "Baking A Cake With Your Incubus Boyfriend" for sure. I pretty much learned how to cook cuz someone else taught me and the audio reminds of one of my friends. Plus I crack myself up thinkin bout how badly another friend fucked up a cake this one time

I don't really fuck with Sam honestly? Don't really like Vincent either but that's more of a dislike kinda situation. Sam's real hard headed bout certain things and it's exhausting sometimes. He's not bad when he quits actin like he ain't holdin onto the same shit he scolds other people for, but as a whole I don't see what other people do in him

Sat next to a friend reading Circe out loud and then borrowed it from them the next day. They let me keep it after I asked to re-read it for the 5th time

If I had to pick? Vega or Brachium. Both of them remind me a lot of a old friend of mine so I fuck with most of their audios. I think they'd be cool to kick it with if they didn't have a bunch of plot shit goin on

Don't really have a go-to cuz I like tryin new shit. I tend to let someone else pick for me and roll with it. Last time I got something they gave me strawberry lemonade and hard pretzels. Was pretty good ngl

Been really into disco music lately! I think it's disco. That's what they called it, I dunno, it's fun to jam to. Really into Night To Remember as of late

Uh I dunno, maybe cooking shows? I don't really get what they're sayin half the time but it looks good on the screen

Hmmm, Type Twos are characterized as a giving, open- hearted sort of people, leaning towards those who are similarly inclined. With that in mind, I’d pick Camelopardalis for you.

Another reason I like him for you is because of what you said about sleep. Sleeping in the presence of another person is so vulnerable and trusting so I wanted to pair you with the most trustworthy Redacted man I could think of. Also, I think Cam would be the most appreciative of the trust and love that that gesture would wordlessly express, you know? Also, I like what you said about “being a guide”; like, I feel Cam would hear that and resonate with that.

Overall, you’d have such a peaceful, serene life, and I love that for y’all. Cam would be so well fed in more ways than one, because I can see him being such a supportive, helpful sous chef once he gets the idea. I can clearly imagine you introducing him to cooking and disco, music playing while he watches you dance around the kitchen while also watching whatever’s in the pot on the stove. (I’m so sure the daemon powers and speed will be so helpful in the kitchen.) (Also, I think he was totally old enough to be around for disco, but he was more of a classical/jazz guy. This would make it even more fun to show him the genre he missed.)

Song:

Give me the simple life/ Some find it pleasant dining on pheasant/ Those things roll off my knife/ Just serve me tomatoes and mashed potatoes/ Give me the simple life/ A cottage small is all I'm after

Like I said, Cam’s a classics and jazz kind of guy in my head. I think he’d have a wonderful time showing you the music he likes, the kind that brings him serenity. This song, specifically the Ella Fitzgerald version is deffo an example. I can see this playing in the morning as he gets ready for work in the morning making you breakfast since you always cook for him.

Runner-ups:

Morgan is a good runner-up for you because he also strikes me as a guiding, helpful figure, just not as much as Cam, ya know? David is a runner-up because I think it’d be really cute for y’all to cook with each other~

Note: I totally agree with you about Sam you’re so real for that~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[friendshapedplant]

Thinkin of trying to do my first stream next week, likely Wednesday or Thursday? I got Spring Break so I think this is the perfect time >:3

I've narrowed myself down to two games I wanna play, those being EverHood or UnderHero

Both are indie games I've have sitting in my game library forever that I've heard amazing things about!

A lil snippet bout the games for the uninformed, based on the Steam pages:

UnderHero is a 2D side-scrolling RPG adventure game. It tells the story of a world where the chosen hero has failed and an underling of the main villain takes his place as the new “hero”. Join Elizabeth IV and the little Masked Kid as they journey across the Chestnut Kingdom to defeat your evil boss, Mr. Stitches! Meet friends, foes and other weird characters in the mysterious world of UnderHero. The main gimmick of this game is it's a turned based combat system, but without the turns! Precisely timed actions are your most powerful weapons.

EverHood is an unconventional adventure RPG that takes place in an inexpressible world filled with amusing musical battles and strange delightful encounters. To put it simply: You are in for a ride. All thats given on the story is you control a wooden doll whose arm has been stolen by a blue gnome. The combat is seemingly rhythm and bullet dodging based with a great soundtrack to compliment it.

I will make an attempt to make these games accessible, especially those who are photosensitive. I know EverHood explicitly points out that there are accessibility settings in this regard, and according to DoesTheDogDie.com, there isn't any flashing lights, but there is "shakey cam." Regardless I'll look into the settings for both!

That being said....

If anyone wanna go give me a follow on my Twitch for the upcoming Debut Stream, here my link! :3

(also if u a mutual that wants to catch the stream and there's a day that works best for u lemme know I'll take that into consideration)

[heartscrypt]

hhi. stray cat has returned. and i am in dire need of knowledge. what do the leech twins think about cyrus. im not sure if this was expanded on but i need 2 know

SO GLAD U ASKED STRAY CAT ANON!!!! ive been thinkin bout it lotsss. hehehehe

CANON CHARACTER THOUGHTS ON CYRUS: LEECH TWINS EDITION

"Eeeh? Nishikigoi-chan? Ahaha~ he's funny! It's annoying when she gets all fussy, though. He doesn't know when to quit when I tell him I don't wanna do stuff. Ugh... for a shallow lil' pond fishie, she can be so pushy..."

"Why're you even asking what I think about Floyd, smallfry? Haaah.. guess I got nothing better to do but answer you. He's entertaining, I guess, when he's not being a dead weight. Hm hm hm~ I like how he bites back. Too many Octavinelle fry walk around with no spine, you know, so it's nice to see someone in the dorm with guts."

okay so first up. floyd. floyd and cyrus are really similar actually. in terms of like. Priorities (aka they both have none and just do whatever the fuck they want). cyrus only hangs around people that entertain her because she craves constant stimuli like. all the time. and floyd def fits that bill so. they enable each other to do things that will eventually make azuls hair fall out from stress probably.

doesn't mean they're always on the best terms though. when floyd's mood swings he finds cyrus annoying and in turn cyrus finds Him to be a drag when he's not hyperactive. they are very much fair weather friends. when they can stand to be around each other, they are collectively a menace to society. when they can't stand to be around each other, they are.... still menaces to society but in a much different way.

"Oh, you've encountered Cyrus-san. It seems he enjoys toying with his food.. ahem, that is to say-- he's quite the playful person, isn't he? Heheh. It's a shame that she refuses to join the Mountain Lovers club ... He does seem to enjoy the anecdotes from my trips, but I haven't yet been able to convince him to come enjoy the beauty of nature with me. Oh, but it'll happen one day. I'm sure."

"Hm? What am I drinking? Wouldn't you like to know... aw, darling fry, don't look so spooked. It's only something Jade brewed up for me. Ahaha! Oh, your face looks so stupid all scrunched up like that. Of course I don't know what Jade's put in this. That's the exciting bit, you know. ... Though if he's put a paralyzing agent in this one again, I'll pour herbicide in his new terrarium, and he knows it. Paralysis is so last week."

secondly. jade. honestly, cyrus prefers jade's company over floyd's. they have tea together because cyrus is pretty much the only person who will listen to jade talk about mountains and mushrooms. as someone who likes to explore herself. he does get bored if jade starts going into too much detail about the natural wonder of the mountains or whatever. also not a big fan of hiking like jade is so she refuses to go on hikes w jade. he'd rather sit n listen to the other tell stories.

... also cyrus is the only one willing to try jades mushroom concoctions as Long as jade disguises the taste of it. because as weird as it is she's a huge thrillseeker who can't stand a moment feeling bored and if jade wants to Mildly poison her it's better than. idk. Not being poisoned and sitting still with nothing to do.

[mainstoryarchive]

Troublemakers - 44: Join

Translator: Peace

Proofreader: nazunyan427

Hajime: Anyway, um, I just got a message from the agency.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Location: Saison Avenue

Hajime: Anyway, um, I just got a message from the agency.

It seems as if our peers from another unit will be joining us soon enough.

I think it's because everyone'd like to shine on stage with a performance, but since part-time jobs like this aren't very popular–

Things get tough with so few people, so it seems as if they're calling in back-up to help out.

Mika: Mmm, but t'me, all y'all an' me are plenty fer this kinda work. I'm alright with y'all 'cause I know how ya are, but I ain't that good with strangers.

Hajime: Ahh, if they're the acquaintances I met yesterday, then they're not bad people at all. You'll be fine, Kagehira-senpai.

Mitsuru: Acquaintances? So like, which unit? Trickstar?

Tomoya: Wait, then Hidaka-senpai's coming? Crap, I've gotta fix my hair! I've gotta make myself look as cute as I possibly can!

Hajime: Not them, no. There's no way that Trickstar would waste their time on a small job like this, right?

Let's see, um, if I'm reading right, then it's–

I don't recognize the unit name, so they must be rather new, mustn't they?

Tomoya: Huuuh… It's rare that there's a new unit this time of the year, but I remember when ES first started they were popping up pretty much everywhere… It feels like it's slowed down recently, though.

Mika: Slowed down, ya say… Thinkin' about it, with CosPro lackin' that idol system they had before, they've pretty much been shovin' any loners into th'same unit since spring.

Besides StarPro, which has got Yumenosaki idols from tip to toe, ya could say all of th'other agencies are 'bout as steady on their feet as a baby deer tryin' to deal with this new system.

Hajime: Uh huh… Especially recently, we've been rather wobbly, haven't we? Absolutely out of it.

Tomoya: Yeah. Even within our own agency, Rhythm Link, that new system's had a major influence on… Well, more like it's caused outright damage to the agency itself. But I'm so not surprised, of course an old, established place like ours would have trouble keeping up with the times.

Mika: Feels like there's trouble everywhere ya look, huh… To the public, ES– or maybe th'idol industry as a whole, is only gettin' better an' better, but th'truth is that it's fulla holes.

Mitsuru: Mmm? Hey hey, who's that? Is that the unit that's supposed to be joinin' us?

They kinda seem like they're looking for someone, and they've got the look and feel of idols too!

Hajime: Oh? Ahh, good catch, Mitsuru-kun– Those are the ones we've been waiting for. ♪

Heeey, Shiratori-kun! Over here!

Aira: … Huh? Oh, hiya Shino-senpai! So you're the unit we'll be working together with today? Thank god!

Hey, over here! Quit your dawdling and get over here!

Hiiro: Understood. Ahh, you're the Shino… senpai from yesterday, yes? It has not been so long since last we met, it must be fate we do so now!

Hajime: We did, hi there! Heehee, it really does feel like fate though, doesn't it? … But, um, you don't have to refer to me so formally, okay?

I looked up your unit name just now, and you… Um, Amagi Hiiro-kun, is it? I do believe we're the same age.

Hiiro: Ah, I see. Aira, what do you call someone who is the same age as you?

Aira: Quit asking me every time you have a question… You'd usually just call them whatever you'd like, okay?

Just don't be rude about it. Ra*bitsP are such overprotective stans when it comes to them, they'll throw hands with just about anyone!

Hiiro: "Stans"? I cannot say I know the word, what does it mean?

Tatsumi: Ah, I’d appreciate it if all of you didn’t stray so far ahead! In any case, I must apologize; Mayoi-san isn't doing so well right now, is there perhaps someplace we may take a seat?

Mayoi: Uuuu, I'm so so sorry, I'm really not good with crowds–

Hajime: Ah, you're welcome to take my seat, then. I've rested plenty, so I don't mind standing.

Fufu. If you're not feeling well, then please don't push yourself; you can rest here instead, and I'll bring you something cool to drink. ♪

Mayoi: C-Could you be some kind of angel..? Ahh, please don't! My heart can't handle this!

Please escape while you can, before I lose control of myself!

Hajime: Um..?

Aira: Uh, sorry about them. Us. We're just really firing off like we've got nothing else to do, huh?

Aaaaanyway, we're ALKALOID, and we'll be working together with you today! We're looking forward to it! Come on, everyone, you have to lower your heads too!

Mitsuru: Nice t'meet ya! But you don't gotta bow so much, that's way too serious!

Tomoya: Hey, these are your basic need-to-know stock phrases, if you want to become a respectable member of society. You've gotta get them downpat too, Mitsuru.

Anyway, we're pretty shorthanded right now, so you'll really help out, uh… ALKALOID, was it?

Hajime: Heehee. So this is the unit you've joined, Shiratori-kun?

Aira: Well, it's more like it's just today that I've realized that I was strong-armed into joining them.

Hajime: Mmm…? What do you mean?

Aira: Ahhh, it's nothing, I'm just kinda talking to myself. Anyway, since it feels like I'm in a life-or-death situation where if I don't work my butt off it's the end of the line, I'll do my best.

I'm pretty used to doing this sort of part-time work.

Hiiro: While I may lack experience, I am eager to learn new things! We shall get the job done with you all, even if we may shed blood, sweat, and tears in our efforts!

Hajime: My, how reliable. ♪ Since you've just started work as a unit, no amount of L$ will feel like enough to cover all of your activities, so it might feel like all you’re doing is part-time work like this.

Aira: Actually, why are popular idols like yourselves doing such small-time work like newcomers?

You've already gained a ton of fans, so it'd be easy money just to do a performance wouldn't it?

Hajime: Heehee. Just because something's easy doesn't mean it's the best way to go about things

Aira: …?

Mitsuru: Huh? Mika-nii-chan's disappeared right beneath our noses! Where'd he run off to all of a sudden?

Tomoya: Ah… He said something about getting a phone call from Itsuki-senpai, so he stepped away.

What sorry timing, it would've been nice if we could've finished introductions during our breaks.

Aira: Um, when you say Mika– Do you mean Mika Kagehira from Valkyrie?! Is he working with us too? Where is he, I wanna see him!

Valkyrie's rarely spotted out and about, and they don't do fanservice at all, so they're a pair of suuuuper mysterious idols! I wanna know the kind of people they are…♪

Hiiro: Fanservice…? There are so many words that Aira uses that I know nothing of, aren't there?

[ ☆ ]

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[ratking-lyrr]

Thinkin' About 2023

It's not quite New Year's, but I've found myself reflecting on my year already anyway. It's been a lot, so I figure I'll organize my thoughts for once. Journal it up in this quiet space I have for the fun of it.

So much has happened, but also so little. I suppose the place to start is the good things. It's been a big one inside. Self discovery and growth has been huge. I think the best thing is I woke up and learned to love myself properly. I hardly get overcome with self-loathing or doubt anymore, for the most part. And that means I can love other people for real too! All my friends and my three perfect partners. I love spending time around them and drawing for them and just being theirs! I'm so proud of each and every thing they do. They're so wonderful.

Figuring out who I am inside has also been great. I have the courage now to know what and who I am. I'm a really good artist who makes great work. I still don't understand every aspect of it, but I'm either non-binary or genderfluid. I'm a silly guy that likes silly things. I'm not afraid to tell people things when I think of them anymore. I've got a big heart too and I'm allowed to love lots of people! And I don't have to hide any of those aspects. That's me, after all! I've learned that anyone that doesn't like me being me isn't worth being around.

Speaking of other people, I've met so many this year! For the first time in my life, I've actually been seeking others out rather than just being an introvert that others stumble upon. I'm still talk better directly rather than in groups or Discord channels, but I'm working on it. My peers' artwork feels deeper and strikes differently now that I know who they are as people. For someone who spent nearly an entire year in silence, I've found I sure do love to talk. And drawing little gifts for friends. It makes my heart soar to make someone happier.

Now, for the bad stuff. No time is perfect. Materially, nothing has changed. Despite trying so hard, I still live at home, I still can't drive and I still have no job. It's difficult to self-actualize or help others without income. I want nothing more than to get out of here. Live life and be an adult, you know? I can draw all day long, sure, but that doesn't help with anyone's material needs. I'm more prone to deep bouts of depression and despair than previous years when this all gets into my head. Or, maybe I've escaped constant depression, so it just feels that way. I cry often, but I think that's good. Healthier than never crying at all.

Overall, I think I'll call this my best year yet. Even if I didn't meet my biggest goals, I grew so very much. Fitting since one of my partners said 2023 would be my year, haha. He also said 2024 will be our year too, so maybe things will only continue upward!

[aspenmissing]

𝙷𝚘𝚖𝚎 (𝙿𝚝 𝟸)

Dean, Sam, and Y/N are sitting on the couch, waiting. Missouri then escorts a man out of the house.

"All right, there. Don't you worry 'bout a thing? Your wife is crazy about you," The man thanks her, and she closes the front door behind him. "Whew. Poor bastard. His woman is cold-bangin' the gardener."

"Why didn't you tell him?" Dean asks.

"People don't come here for the truth. They come for good news," The three stare at her. "Well? Sam, Y/N, and Dean, come on already, I ain't got all day." She leaves the room. Dean, Sam, and Y/N exchange a confused look and follow her into the next room. "Well, let me look at ya." She laughs. "Oh, you boys grew up handsome." She then looks at Y/N and holds her hands. Missouri feels a slight shock in her hand and senses something, but decides to stay quiet about it. "And you, my dear. You grew up... so beautiful." She then points a finger at Dean. "And you were one goofy-lookin' kid, too. And I could easily see which twin got the looks," she says, gesturing to Y/N. Dean glares at her while Sam and Y/N smirk. "Sam," Missouri grabs his hand. "Oh, honey... I'm sorry about your girlfriend." The three are shocked. "And your father—he's missin'?"

"How'd you know all that?" Sam asks.

"Well, you were just thinkin' it just now." Sam raises his eyebrows, surprised.

"Well, where is he? Is he okay?"

"I don't know," Missouri says.

"Don't know? Well, you're supposed to be a psychic, right?"

"Boy, you see me sawin' some bony tramp in half? You think I'm a magician? I may be able to read thoughts and sense energies in a room, but I can't just pull facts out of thin air. Sit, please." Sam and Y/N smirk at Dean, and they sit down. Missouri snaps at Dean. "Boy, you put your foot on my coffee table; I'm 'a whack you with a spoon!"

"I didn't do anything."

"But you were thinkin' about it." Dean raises his eyebrows. Sam smiles, and Y/N laughs.

"Okay. So, our dad—when did you first meet him?"

"He came for a reading. A few days after the fire. I just told him what was really out there in the dark. I guess you could say...I drew back the curtains for him."

"What about the fire? Do you know about what killed our mom?" Dean asks.

"A little. Your daddy took me to your house. He was hopin' I could sense the echoes, the fingerprints of this thing."

"And could you?" Sam asks.

"I..." She shakes her head.

"What was it?" Y/N asks.

"I don't know. Oh, but it was evil," Missouri says softly.

==

"So... you think somethin' is back in that house?"

"Definitely."

"I don't understand."

"What?" Sam asks.

"I haven't been back inside, but I've been keepin' an eye on the place, and it's been quiet. No sudden deaths, no freak accidents. Why is it actin' up now?"

"I don't know. But Dad goes missing and Jessica dies, and now this house is all happening at once—it just feels like something's starving."

"That's a comforting thought," Dean says.

==

Upon answering the door, Jenny sees Sam, Y/N, Dean, and Missouri.

"Y/N, Sam, Dean. What are you doing here?"

"Hey, Jenny. This is our friend, Missouri," Sam says.

"If it's not too much trouble, we were hoping to show her the old house. You know, for old time's sake."

"You know, this isn't a good time. I'm kind of busy."

"Listen, Jenny, it's important." Missouri smacks him on the back of the head. "Ow!" Y/N laughs.

"Give the poor girl a break; can't you see she's upset?" Missouri then looks at Jenny. "Forgive this boy; he means well; he's just not the sharpest tool in the shed, but hear me out." Dean looks stunned.

"About what?" Jenny asks.

"About this house."

"What are you talking about?"

"I think you know what I'm talking about. You think there's something in this house—something that wants to hurt your family. Am I mistaken?"

"Who are you?"

"We're people who can help, who can stop this thing. But you're going to have to trust us, just a little." Jenny looks unsure.

==

Missouri, Dean, Y/N, and Sam are in Sari's bedroom.

"If there's a dark energy around here, this room should be the centre of it."

"Why?" Sam asks.

"This used to be your nursery, Sam. This is where it all happened." Sam glances at the ceiling. While Missouri looks around the room, Dean pulls out his EMF meter. "That an EMF?"

"Yeah," Dean says.

"Amateur," Y/N snorts, and Dean glares at her. He then nudges Sam and Y/N and shows them that the EMF is beeping frantically. "I don't know if you three should be disappointed or relieved, but this ain't the thing that took your mom."

"Wait, are you sure?" She nods. "How do you know?" Sam asks.

"It isn't the same energy I felt the last time I was here. It's something different."

"What is it?" Y/N asks.

"Not it," Missouri says, opening the closet. "Them. There's more than one spirit in this place."

"What are they doing here?"

"They're here because of what happened to your family. You see, all those years ago, real evil came to you. It walked into this house. That kind of evil leaves wounds. And sometimes, wounds get infected."

"I don't understand."

"This place is a magnet for paranormal energy. It's attracted a poltergeist. A nasty one. And it won't rest until Jenny and her babies are dead."

"You said there was more than one spirit."

"There is. I just can't quite make out the second one."

"Well, one thing's for damn sure—nobody's dyin' in this house even again. So, whatever is here, how do we stop it?" Dean asks.

==

The four are sitting around a table. On the table are different herbs and roots.

"So, what is all this stuff, anyway?" Dean says.

"Angelica root, Van oil, crossroad dirt, a few other odds and ends."

"Yeah? What are we supposed to do with it?"

"We're going to put them inside the walls in the north, south, east, and west corners on each floor of the house."

"We'll be punchin' holes in the drywall. Jenny's going to love that."

"She'll live," Missouri says slyly.

"And this'll destroy the spirits?"

"It should. It should purify the house completely. We'll each take a floor. But we work fast. Once the spirits realise what we're up to, things are going to get bad."

==

Missouri is walking Jenny and her kids outside.

"Look. I'm sure I'm comfortable leaving you guys here alone."

"Just take your kids to the movies or somethin', and it'll be over by the time you get back." Jenny, still slightly unsure, leaves with her kids. Missouri goes back inside.

Inside the house, Sam goes into one of the rooms with a hammer. He kneels down by the wall and begins using the end of the hammer to hit against the walls. While he is doing this, a plug on the other side of the room takes itself out of the outlet. A lamp begins to move on its own as well. The plug snakes its way towards Sam.

Downstairs in the kitchen, Y/N and Dean are punching the wall with a small axe. Behind them, a drawer begins to open on its own.

In the basement, Missouri is looking around. She brings a bag full of herbs to the wall. She hears a noise and turns around to see a table coming towards her. She screams as it pins her against the wall.

Back in the kitchen, Dean and Y/N also hear a noise. He quickly ducks, pulling Y/N down with him, just as a knife hurls itself into a cabinet. Dean places a table in front of themselves as more knives come through it.

Upstairs, Sam is chopping a hole in the wall. The lamp crashes to the ground. Sam turns around to see what the noise was, and the cord wraps itself around his neck. Sam falls to the ground, trying to get the cord off. Eventually, he lies weak on the floor. Dean and Y/N rush upstairs and into the room.

"Sam!" The two said it in unison. The two rush over to Sam and try to get the cord off, but it won't budge. Instead, Dean kicks a hole in the wall and places the bag of herbs inside. A blinding white light leaves the room. Once the spirit is gone, Dean goes back over to Sam, and Y/N, Sam is completely weak. Y/N unravels the cord from around Sam's neck, and Y/N pulls him into a fierce hug. Then Dean pulls the two into a fierce hug.

==

A few hours later, Dean, Sam, Y/N, and Missouri are standing in the extremely messy kitchen.

"Are you sure this is over?" Sam asks.

"I'm sure. Why? Why do you ask?"

"Never mind." He sighs. "It's nothin', I guess." They hear Jenny enter the house.

"Hello? We're home." She comes into the kitchen and looks around. "What happened?"

"Hi, sorry. Um, we'll pay for all of this," Sam says. Dean looks confused, and Y/N looks guilty.

"Don't you worry. Dean's going to clean up his mess," Dean stands there, not moving. "Well, what are you waiting for, boy? Get the mop," he begins, walking away. "And don't cuss at me!" Dean walks away, muttering under his breath. Y/N laughs. A little while later, Missouri and the three siblings leave the house. Jenny waves and shuts the door behind them.

==

"All right, so tell me again, what are we still doin' here?" Dean asks.

"I don't know. I just...I still have a bad feeling."

"Why? Missouri did her whole Zelda Rubenstein thing, the house should be clean, it should be over," Y/N says.

"Yeah, well, probably. But I just want to make sure, that's all."

"Yeah, well, the problem is, I could be sleeping in a bed right now," Dean says, sliding down in his seat and closing his eyes. Y/N leans her head against the window and also closes her eyes. Sam looks up at Jenny's bedroom window and sees her screaming.

"Dean, Y/N. Look, Dean! Y/N!" They rush out of the car and run towards the house.

"You two grab the kids; I'll get Jenny," Dean says, rushing inside. Dean runs into Jenny's room.

"I can't open the door!"

"Stand back!" Dean kicks down the door and brings her downstairs.

"No, my kids!"

"Sam and Y/N's got your kids; come on." Sam carries Ritchie in his arms, as they go to Sari's bedroom, where she is screaming for help. Sam goes to Sari's bed and picks her up.

"Don't look. Don't look!" They leave the bedroom. Outside, Dean and Y/N rush out of the house. Inside the house, Sam and Y/N rush down the stairs, and Sam passes Sari and Ritchie to Y/N. He then quickly goes back upstairs to find Jenny.

"Dean, Y/N, help!" They rush inside to help Sam. Outside, Y/N places the kids down, trying to calm them. Suddenly, an invisible force pushes her back outside the house, taking most of the fall for Sari and Ritchie. She quickly gets up and rushes over to Dean and Jenny, the kids still in her arms. Dean looks at Y/N.

"Where's Sam?" Before she could answer, Sari told him.

"He's inside. Something's got him," she says, crying. Dean and Y/N look panicked at the front door. It shuts down on its own. Y/N gives the kids to Jenny. Dean opens the trunk of the Impala, and he grabs a rifle, Y/N grabs an axe. They rush to the front door, and she begins chopping away at it.

Inside the kitchen, Sam gets flung into a set of cabinets. He stands up and is pinned against the wall by the invisible force. He struggles to try and move and watches helplessly as the fire figure makes its way towards him.

Y/N continues chopping down parts of the door until, eventually, she makes a hole and two are able to step through. They walk through the house, looking for Sam.

"Sam? Sam!" Y/N shouts. They find Sam. When they look at the fire figure, Dean raises his gun.

"No, don't! Don't!"

"What, why?!

"Because I know who it is. I can see her now." Suddenly, the fire vanishes. Instead, standing in front of them is Mary Winchester, exactly as she was the night she died. In shock, Dean lowers his gun slowly.

"Mom?" The two said it in unison. Mary smiles and steps closer to them.

"Dean. Y/N." Tears form in their eyes. Mary walks away from him and goes to Sam. Dean and Y/N watch her, never taking their eyes off her. "Sam." He smiles weakly, crying. Mary's smile faded. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Mary looks at him sadly but says nothing. She walks away from them and looks up at the ceiling.

"You get out of my house. And let go of my son." Once again, she burst into flames. When she is entirely engulfed, the fire reaches the ceiling and disappears. The force holding Sam to the wall is released. He walks over to Dean, and the three look at each other, stunned.

"Now it's over."

==

The next morning, Dean and Y/N are standing with Jenny, looking through old photos.

"Thanks for these," Y/N says.

"Don't thank me; they're yours." Y/N puts the trunk of photos into the car. Sitting on the front steps of the house, Sam is joined by Missouri.

"Well, there are no spirits in there anymore, this time for sure."

"Not even my mom?"

"No."

"What happened?" Sam asks.

"Your mom's spirit and the poltergeist's energy cancelled each other out. Your mom destroyed herself goin' after the thing."

"Why would she do something like that?"

"Well, to protect her children, of course." Sam nods, with tears in his eyes. Missouri goes to put her hand on his shoulder, but she stops herself. "Sam, I'm sorry."

"For what?" Sam asks.

"You sensed it was here, didn't you? Even when I couldn't."

"What's happening to me?"

"I know I should have all the answers, but I don't know."

"Sam, are you ready?" Y/N says. Sam nods and goes to the car. Jenny thanks all of them.

"Don't you three be strangers."

"We won't," Dean says.

"See you around," Jenny waves. They smile, get in the car, and drive away.

==

"That boy...he has such powerful abilities. But why he couldn't sense his own father, I have no idea," Missouri says. With her arms crossed, John is sitting on the couch. "And your daughter... I sensed something in her. Something strong."

"Mary's spirit—do you really think she saved them?" John asks, ignoring what was said.

"I do," John nods sadly and twists his wedding ring on his finger. "John Winchester, I could just slap you. Why won't you go talk to your children?"

"I want to. You have no idea how much I want to see 'em. But I can't. Not yet. Not until I know the truth," he says tearfully. They share a look.

[author-a-holmes]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 🎶🎧💜💙🤗

Is it sad that, despite being best friends, I read "send this to your favourite mutuals" and my instant reaction was:

*Pleading Face Emoji* I'm a favourite?!

Rofl!

ANYWAYS My defunct brain patterns aside, I fucking love sharing my playlists. I know you know this, so thank you for the ask <3

I've not gone with a Work In Progress Specific playlist, mainly because Changeling doesn't have one, and Darkling doesn't have enough songs on it yet, so instead I've chosen my general playlist for 2023. It includes all my current favourite songs, and any new music I find this year that I want to add to my playlist soup.

If I'm looking for a new song for the next chapter, this is the playlist I shove on shuffle.

So without futher ado, 5 songs beneath the cut...

Taylor Swift - Style

I don't know why, but ther way this one is sung just sounds super flirty, and gives old school, silver screen, holywood love story vibes.

You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like And when we go crashing down, we come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt And when we go crashing down, we come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

2. Nickelback - Someday

One of my favourites of theirs. Which is saying a lot because there's not many Nickelback songs I DIS-like. But I love how the song lyrics make you think one thing, and then you watch the video and it's even more heartbreaking and tragic than it sounds. It really made my appreciate Chad Kroeger as a lyracist.

Well, I'd hope that since we're here anyway We could end up saying Things we've always needed to say So we could end up staying Now the story's played out like this Just like a paperback novel Let's rewrite an ending that fits Instead of a Hollywood horror

3. Demi Lovato - Heart Attack

I cannot believe this one shuffled onto the list of over 350 songs I'm using. It's my THEME song for Reilly Mosswolf from my book, Stolen. When I need to get back into Reilly or Stella's headspace I'll listen to this song or Stella's Theme "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten.

You make me glow But I cover up, won't let it show So I'm putting my defenses up 'Cause I don't wanna fall in love If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack

4. Blake Shelton - Honey Bee

Bloody Hell. My love of cheesy country music is showing here. I'm a closet romantic and Country Music really touches on that romantic streak in my, particularly Blake Shelton's songs. Plus the music video is cute as fuck.

You'll be my sunny day I'll be your shady tree You'll be my honeysuckle I'll be your honey bee. Yeah, that came out a little country But every word was right on the money And I got you smilin' honey right back at me

5. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

You can't do much better for a power balland than Clarkson, and her lyrics are usually on the empowering side. This isn't one of my favourites from her, but it always manages to put me in a kickass kinda mood.

Thanks to you I got a new thing started Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted Thanks to you I'm finally thinkin' 'bout me You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning

I've got over 350 songs on this list, so for anyone additionally curious about my music tastes, I'll link the full playlist HERE.