#I HAVE A REVISION LIST FOR HB AND IT MAKES ME SO EXCITED

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

lonan clark google searches: jesus stained glass

[dointoomuchsworld]

URT amidst the Pharma war

WUpon selecting a communication theory for this blog entry, I decided, why not- let’s just Google search: “what communication theory can be related to the anti-vax crowd”? The top six search results and their links that pop up spew these headlines and additional phrases:

1. “The anti-vaccination infodemic on social media: A behavioral…: However, the anti-vaccination movement is currently on the rise, spreading online misinformation about vaccine safety and causing a worrying…” (www.journals.plos.org) 

2. “How to respond to vocal vaccine deniers in public- WHO: a vocal vaccine denier is defined in this document as a person who is not only denying scientific consensus but also actively advocating against vaccination…” (World Health Organization 2017 Regional Office for Europe). 

3. “Vaccine hesitancy is a problem attracting growing attention and concern.” (www.sciencedirect.com) 

4. “The online competition between pro- and anti-vaccination… Distrust in scientific expertise is dangerous… Results show that even if anti-vaccine narratives have a small persuasiveness, a large part of the population will be rapidly exposed to them. ” (www.nature.com) 

5. “Conspiracy Beliefs, Rejection of Vaccination, and…: Many conspiracy theories appeared along with the Covid-19 pandemic. Since it is documented that conspiracy theories negatively affect…” (www.frontiersin.org) 

6. “Combating Vaccine Hesitancy: Teaching the Next Generation… In 1999, the anti-vaxxer movement, an organized body of people who refuse to vaccinate and blaming vaccines for health problems” (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov) 

Well, this didn’t answer my question. It was surely a lot to read as we dive into my entry here, and it slapped someone with my way of thinking with some shut-down labels: dangerous, misinformed, science-denier, nonconsensual, behaviorally problematic, conspiracist, rejecter.

Do you know what these Google search results say to me? Censorship. 

I am selecting the communication theory of Uncertainty Reduction Theory to apply towards my discussion of the pro-vaccine/anti-vaccine war. 

Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT) asserts that “people have a need to reduce uncertainty about others by gaining information about them” (Berger, C.R., & Bradac, J.J.) The information gained can be used to predict the others’ behavior. Reducing uncertainty can be particularly beneficial in relationship development, so it is more typical amongst people when they expect or want to develop a relationship than among people who expect or know they will not develop a relationship.

We have a few basic ways people seek information about another person:

1. Passive strategies: we observe the person, either in situations where the individual is likely to be self-monitoring (in a classroom; in the stands of a public event)

2. Active strategies: we ask others about the person we’re interested in, or set up a way to observe that person (sign up for the same class; sitting at a different table in the same restaurant)

3. Interactive strategies: we communicate directly with the person.

I believe this theory can be used to my topic of discussion because if we are in one of the hottest moments of the ongoing anti- and pro- vaccine movement and pharmaceutical war with COVID-19 at the forefront of it all, no matter which side we put our beliefs, followings, trust, or knowledge in, we seek out others with the same data, statistics, views, and agreeability. We strive to reduce uncertainty with others by gaining their information to benefit one another, and either develop ongoing relationships, or not. If we observe or interact with others to discover where their loyalties lay, we either discuss, debate--or worst of all, we fight like cats and dogs to what seems like the death--or come to an understanding and continue or discontinue the developed relationship. 

Let’s begin how I feel within the war on vaccines. I, if you will, an introvert who isn’t so fond of putting my opinions out there, am publicly posting this in hopes of finding others and reducing my uncertainty about how others may feel, or find if they may feel similarly so that I may stand with them or offer them strength in opinions and studies. Or maybe, just to prompt an open discussion.

1. Pro-vaccine

2. Anti-vaccine

Unnecessary and divisive labels meant to categorize people into black and white thinking.

Where is the label for: I think it’s perfectly logical to want the ability to make decisions about each vaccine available on an individual basis for each of my children and myself?

Pfizer is going for full FDA approval and might have it by the end of this month, emergency approval has already been granted for 12-15 year-olds, and in September emergency approval will be requested for 2-11 year-olds. 

How can you get granted EAU for an experimental drug in an age group that isn’t having an emergency? To protect vaccinated adults? Sacrificing your healthy child for an illness that doesn’t affect them so that vaccinated adults may think you’re a good person and may give you permission to move freely about your lives?

Nothing says I don’t believe in science more than vaccinating a 2-year-old for COVID. 

Imagine being excited to experiment on your own child.

Children don’t stand a chance in this pharmaceutical industry that for decades have put profit ahead of doing what is right. Additionally but important to note, the pharmaceutical industry has not prioritized the research and development of cancer drugs for children. They rely on treating children with adult cancer drugs, which are far more dangerous, toxic, and aggressive on a child’s developing body, because adult cancer drugs are some of the best-selling pharmaceuticals for companies such as Merck & Co., Pfizer, AstraZeneca, Bristol-Myers Squibb, and J&J.

Here is an incomplete current list of places making the COVID vaccine mandatory, either for employment or for on site services: Montgomery County Prosecutor’s Officer; WPAFB (when it is FDA approved); Atria Senior Living; Rocky River Senior Center; Continuing Healthcare Solutions; Newburgh Heights city employees; Supers Landscape; Cleveland State University; Kenyon College; Cleveland Clinic fertility center: spouses required to have two doses of vaccine before being able to be present for embryo transfers. Kroger grocery stores now mandate proof of vaccination of its employees in order for employees to de-mask. This is marking the unclean versus clean. Here we are, segregating healthy people and in many circumstances being told to show our private healthcare papers.

There is no place for this behavior in a free society. This is discrimination based on vaccine status. 

A business in Preble County is allowing employees who have taken the coronavirus vaccine to use the fitness room while those who have not, or are naturally immune, are not allowed access. They can work there but they cannot work out there... is this about health?

What changes have you made for yourself as an individual this pandemic to benefit your health and wellness?

The NFL continues to separate their unvaccinated athletes from their fellow vaccinated athletes. Separate practice areas, separate eating areas, and de-masking only those who have been vaccinated. Discontinuing COVID testing twice a week only for the vaccinated. Not allowing the unvaccinated to leave the hotel while traveling with the teams. As if either party is not safe to be around.

As a writer considering her reader, I’m wondering if you’re celebrating right now in regards to these advances, or raising some eyebrows. As for me, it fills me with a primitive rage that I feel only when someone endangers my children.

But let’s keep going.

Vaccines are necessarily risky, as recognized by the U.S. Supreme Court and by Congress. 

The risk: benefit ratio varies with the frequency and severity of disease, vaccine safety, and individual patient factors. These must be evaluated by patient and physician, not imposed government, corporations, or other bureaucrats.

The smallpox vaccine is so dangerous that you can’t get it now, despite the weaponization of smallpox. Rabies vaccine is given only after a suspected exposure or to high-risk persons such as veterinarians. The whole-cell pertussis vaccine was withdrawn from the U.S. market, a decade later than from the Japanese market, because of reports of severe permanent brain damage. The acellular vaccine that replaced it is evidently safer, though somewhat less effective. 

After being fully informed of the risks and benefits of a medical procedure, patients have the right to reject or accept that procedure. Preemption of patients’ or parents’ decisions about accepting drugs or other medical interventions is a serious intrusion into individual liberty, autonomy, and parental decisions about child-rearing.

Forcing Ohioans or anyone into receiving an experimental medical intervention in exchange for freedom to go to work or participate in society is contrary to fundamental human rights.

How does one feel about the persuasion to vote YES on Ohio HB 248? How’s this for propaganda: Vote YES, join the movement, on the Vaccine Choice and Anti-Discrimination Act.

This Ohio House Bill was introduced on April 6, 2021, and is in 25% progression (LegiScan). Per this Republican Partisan Bill, OH HB248 is to enact section 3792.02 of the Revised Code to authorize an individual to decline a vaccination and to name this act the Vaccine Choice and Anti-Discrimination Act.

Why should we do this? This is a stand for health freedom, for medical freedom; a vital legislation to protect vaccine choice for Ohioans now and into the future. If this legislation isn't passed, you can expect that vaccine mandates and vaccine passports will become a reality of our future. And even if you're fine with the traditional vaccines, even if you have always gotten the flu vaccine, and even if you decided to get the COVID vaccine... Ohioans will be faced with the reality that any future vaccine can be mandated by the state, retailers, employers, schools etc., and we'll have zero to say about it. This legislation will protect all Ohioans from the dystopia that we're currently facing.

Do I sound like one who denies the expertise of science now? I stand with science. I stand with informed consent. I stand with freedom. I stand with healthcare professionals. I stand with Ohio workers. I stand with parents. I stand with students. I stand with this bill for the people, by the people. 

In the year 1983, the total doses of vaccines for children from birth to age 18 consisted of 24 doses and 7 injections. As of 2020, we now administer 69 doses with 50 injections. The CDC child vaccination schedule is bloated, and I will say it from the mountaintops, no matter the reaches for justification. 

Advanced Pediatric, a Cleveland area pediatric practice, is embracing the idea that unvaccinated children are not safe, and must stay masked and distanced, including from others on the playground (advancedped.com). How badly will we damage our children’s social and emotional health with this kind of discriminatory action propagated by adults that are supposed to be protecting them?

Prior to COVID, measles was the much-publicized threat used to push for mandates, and is probably the worst threat among the vaccine-preventable illnesses because it is so highly contagious. There are occasional outbreaks, generally starting with an infected individual coming from somewhere outside the U.S. The majority, but by no means all the people who catch the measles have not been vaccinated. Almost all make a full recovery, with robust, life-long immunity. 

The last measles death in the U.S. occurred in 2015, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Is it justified to revoke the rights of all Americans because of the hypothetical risk that a person who cannot be vaccinated due to immune deficiency might catch measles from an unvaccinated American, rather than from a visitor or a person whose artificial vaccine-based immunity has waned? Such mandates establish a precedent for ever-greater restrictions on our right to give—or withhold—consent to medical interventions?

So as I continue, and back to the focus on the COVID fiasco that I am pondering… Per the CDC website in the association with the COVID vaccine, VAERS reports that in the last four months we have recorded more deaths from the COVID vaccine than from all vaccines combined from mid 1997 through the end of 2013. As of April 30, there are 3,837 cases where the COVID-vaccinated patient has died within days to weeks after their intervention. 384 pages of patients age, sex, location, date of vax, date of onset, who administered it, who the manufacturer is, whether they were taken to the ER, and the symptoms or prior health conditions if any.

Adverse events from drugs and vaccines are common, but underreported. Although 25% of ambulatory patients experience an adverse drug event, less than 0.3% of all adverse drug events and 1-13% of serious events are reported to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) (Lazarus, Klompas). Low reporting rates preclude or slow the identification of “problem” drugs or vaccines that endanger public health. Barriers to reporting include a lack of clinician awareness, uncertainty about when and what to report, as well as the burdens of reporting. Reporting is not usually part of a clinicians’ workflow, takes time, and is duplicative (Lazarus, Klompas). 

VAERS is a passive reporting system. Healthcare workers are not required to submit reports of deaths or injuries. VAERS only reports 1% of actual injuries according to a report prepared under contract with The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (Lazarus, Klompas).

To recap those last several paragraphs, we are constantly told those who decline vaccines for illnesses they themselves are at very little risk for developing complications from, are putting the immunocompromised at risk. What we don’t often hear is that the procedure itself comes with risk and what that risk level is exactly is unknown. 

What we do know is that only somewhere between 1-10% of adverse events are ever reported largely due to medical professionals' lack of awareness on the subject matter. We cannot force healthy people to undergo a medical procedure for which the administrator of and manufacturer have no liability when we know there is innate risk. We can’t trade one group's theoretical risk for another group's known risk. 

We never hear any other side of this argument, it’s censored from us and never presented to us. 

Many of these VAERS reports were from assisted living facilities, and we can determine this by scrolling through the log of reports. Do you trust many assisted living facilities, or do you think many of them had a choice?

As of June 18, VAERS reports for myocarditis or pericarditis in people age 6 to 29 for all non-COVID shots in the entire history as VAERS as: 394. The total number of VAERS reports for myocarditis or pericarditis in people ages 6 to 29 in the last six months for COVID shots: 590. 

Without voluntary informed consent, medicine becomes violence. 

How many billions of dollars do you think has been handed out to mainstream media outlets, such as your favorite radio stations, to propagate the COVID vaccine and to have your favorite channel’s or station’s host, or celebrity, holler into your car or household: to go out and get it now, because all the cool people are doing it; to save our communities. Because you’re a selfish expanse of existence if you don’t. Although they who preach to go get the intervention likely have little to no experience in any of the information I have provided thus far.

The Dayton RTA public transit system has banners plastered onto the sides of their buses in all caps that say, “I’m not afraid of the vaccine!” or “Help Save Lives. Get Vaccinated.” 

When their passengers board the bus, they may show their hand gesture of the peace sign, to indicate they’ve been vaccinated. And at that, you’ll get a thirty-dollar credit in adult passenger fare upon proof of being fully vaccinated. A whole month of free rides and a promotional “Vaccinated” button to wear.

Promotions for vaccinated people are a flawed tactic for both brand-building and public health. Brands across industries are skipping beyond vaccine education and awareness to take a more active role in coronavirus vaccine acceleration. 

One size does not fit all. All humans are not the same and have different risk factors for both the disease and the intervention. There is no greater danger to all of us than the dehumanization of others. Not trusting a vaccine, or any given doctor for that matter, does not make me a science denier.

Where there is risk there must be choice. Not ostracism. Vaccine choice and anti-discrimination.

People who are labeled as vaccine hesitant should really be called people who are hesitant to be coerced in the largest drug trial in history. Because it’s the right thing to do... It’s patriotic... to protect our community and, again, “although I am young and healthy, it’s the right thing to do” (Ohio Dept. of Health).

Mandate advocates often assert a need for a 95% immunization rate to achieve herd immunity. However, Mary Holland and Chase Zachary of NYU School of Law argue, in the Oregon Law Review, that because complete herd immunity and measles eradication are unachievable, the better goal is for herd effect and disease control. The best outcome would result, they argue, from informed consent, more open communication, and market-based approaches.

The safest place for an immunocompromised person who is unable to be vaccinated  (there are very few unable to be vaccinated for COVID) is around someone who has had COVID naturally and is actually immune. Vaccinated people still contract and likely transmit COVID unlike the naturally immune. Similar to the pertussis portion of the DTAP vaccine, most often it’s a vaccinated sibling or parent who unknowingly spreads it to an infant too young to be vaccinated.

Let’s think about our Governor DeWine’s Vax-a-Million. His raffle is a disturbing act of child coercion and misuse of money that we could be putting back into our communities. A predatory bribe to bait those who easily succumb to a gambling incentive. I wish we had this kind of monetary dedication to our homeless, to our schools, to our mental health hospitals, to our trash clean-up organizations for our cities, to students already accepted into colleges. To the small businesses who have had to close their doors for good. What are my incentives for not getting the shot? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Public health should not seek to manipulate. To manipulate in the name of public health is to undermine public health.

This is a marketing scheme. You are not required to take a liability free experimental medical intervention in order to be considered a good person. Those who say you are, are either indoctrinated into a cult-like way of thinking and lack the ability to see anything beyond that, uninformed, or evil.

It's one of many elite U.S. institutions to be completely decimated and humiliated by Pharma. It was gradual, then inexorable, and now it's their identity.

An article printed on May 31 states that a Miami Valley Hospital doctor says strokes are occurring in younger people, ages 18-45 years old. Dr. Bryan Ludwig, the chair of the Clinical Neuroscience Institute of Premier Health, is seeing this increase, including the 36-year-old stroke patient he treated upon being air-lifted to the main hospital campus (WHIO). This article does not yet state what leading causes we can look toward for the increase in strokes and clots in the youth, and does not even state a possibility of what it might be, though I’m sure we can make quite a valid assumption. It would seem that the press is trying to normalize things that are not in the least bit normal, as more articles arise in similarity. 

Was it responsible for our Governor Mike DeWine to send out the tweet: “FACT: The COVID vaccine is safe and effective” upon immediate availability of the vaccine?

It is incredible that vaccine reactions used to only exist in the minds of conspirators, and now we pray for the recipients that they may make it through and only have to miss a few days of work. We don’t know anything about long-term effects but that doesn’t matter, because what about long-term effects from the actual disease? Everyone needs to do it anyway, even those at very little risk, because someone said so. Even those who have had COVID, and likely hold a great deal of immunity. 

Those who came out in droves in opposition of HB248 stated things such as, “up to 30% of our college students are immunocompromised, and this justifies mandating those who aren’t to be vaccinated.”

What are we doing that is causing up to 30% of young college students to be immunocompromised? 

Nonetheless, I find that statistic entirely skeptical. The industry recommends for all who they call immunocompromised, such as cancer patients to get these vaccines, and patients on immune suppressive drugs to get them. They want transplant patients to get them. They don’t actually acknowledge any contradictions outside of anaphylaxis. The “we must protect the herd” sentiment seems entirely feigned and disingenuous. It seems manipulative, dismissive.

Surely, there are immunocompromised people out there who are unable to receive the vaccine or others, but I do think it is rare.

A doctor who believe that everyone should be vaccinated, when questioned, acknowledged vaccine injury and death. She was asked what she would say to those people. Her response, in paraphrase, was, “Thank you for your contribution.” She views the injured as expendable.

The amount of doctors who opposed the house bill of vaccine choice was frightening. And who will politicians follow? Those who have personal attestations who are most oftentimes unheard or underrepresented, or clinicians pushing a pharmaceutical curriculum that acquires compensation based on how many patients are vaccinated?

In a statement made by ACIP member, Grace M. Lee, M.D., M.P.H., associate chief medical officer for practice innovation at Stanford Children’s Health, she goes on to say: “I think the childhood experience our kids have gone through will have long-lasting consequences that may extend across generations. We don’t really fully yet understand the total... physical health, mental health, and educational impact of the pandemic on our kids.”

Kids are durable. They can endure the worst of things, and they persevere. However, now, to grow up in a world that is censoring and erasing valuable information is chillingly monumental.

Considering that 23 million Americans suffer from some type of autoimmune disease, with the rates increasing 4-7% each year, and that environmental toxins are well known to trigger autoimmunity, it would seem prudent to implicate the distended childhood vaccination schedule as a possible culprit to this rise.

We are not smarter or more virtuous than someone because we draw a different conclusion after looking at the same information. Only one side of this charade wants to enforce their will on the other.

In summary, patients and parents currently have the right to refuse vaccination, although potentially contagious persons can be restricted in their movements (e.g. as with Ebola), as needed to protect others against a clear and present danger. Unvaccinated persons with no exposure to a disease and no evidence of a disease are not a clear or present danger. Making the COVID, and other vaccines, optional is the only way to protect the medical and individual rights of our citizens, consistent with good medical ethics.

Unvaccinated people are variant factories, says expert Dr. William Schaffner, from the Division of Infectious Diseases at Vanderbilt University Medical Center on June 2.

My use of Uncertainty Reduction Theory in Communication Studies applied to my stance I’ve taken on medical freedom enables me to seek and find reassurance with others, to find camaraderie with those who will continue to fight. 

The way that I have questioned the pharmaceutical intervention so many times in so many ways throughout this discussion and at the very least find the timeline of events that have transpired to be odd, and furthermore advocate for the freedom of guilt-free choice instead of a blind acceptance to take whatever is fed to me via our government oversight, it may very well blacklist me from an exceeding amount of peoples’ interest.

BUT, no matter what one may think, or if one should ask me why I don’t find something better to do with my time -

What is more important than protecting my children’s freedom and health through social and ethical communication processes?

Works Cited:

Berger, C.R., & Bradac, J.J. (1982). Language and social knowledge: Uncertainty in interpersonal relations. London: Arnold.

Clanton, Nancy. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. 16 April 2021. www.ajc.com

Holland, Mary and Zachary, Chase. Oregon Law Review. Children’s Health Defense Team. 23 January 2019. www.childrenshealthdefense.org 

Lavin, Dr. Arthur A. “The End of the Pandemic Begins, for the Vaccinated.” 14 May 2021. www.advancedped.com 

Lazarus, R, Klompas M, Hou X, Campion FX, Dunn J, Platt R. Automated Electronic Detection & Reporting of Adverse Events Following Vaccination: ESP:VAERS. The CDC Vaccine Safety Datalink (VSD) Annual Meeting. Atlanta, GA; April, 2008. www.digital.ahrq.gov 

Shimabukuro, Tom T. MD., Cole, Matthew MPH, Su, John R. MD, PhD. JAMA. 12 February 2021. www.jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2776557 

LegiScan Bringing People to the Process. www.legiscan.com 2021. 

National Vaccine Information Center. 2021. 21525 Ridgetop Circle, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20166. 

www.medalerts.org/vaersdb/findfield.php?TABLE=ON&GROUP1=AGE&EVENTS=ON&VAX=COVID19

WHIO Staff. “Miami Valley doctor says strokes are increasing in younger people, shares warning signs.” 31 May 2021. www.whio.com/news/local 

[soybeeftacos]

The Problem With CoreXP

So, I played in the Core Experience tournament that NISEI threw over the weekend. It was... interesting. I went 5-5 on the day; I swept the first round, got swept the second, split the third, swept the fourth, got swept the fifth. How’s that for a variety of results? Overall, 5-5 was a fine enough performance for me by my standards, but it was unfortunately quite an unenjoyable experience regardless of the results.

I had initially thought that a “single core” experience in this format — with the interesting System Core 2019 lists — would provide some degree of variety. Unfortunately, it certainly didn’t seem like that was the case during the tournament. Yesterday, I faced four Replicating Perfections and one Making News, as well as three Leelas and two Gabriel Santiagos. On Sunday at least, HB and NBN were hardly to be found, and Anarch wasn’t particularly successful either. I gather there was some success by a few of the Weylands (Blue Sun mainly) and also some marginal success by a couple of Kit players, but that’s just not a varied enough experience for me, I suppose. I was on Replicating Perfection and Leela myself (yes, I’m part of the problem!), but single core formats are pretty easy to solve pretty quickly, after all, so I was following the herd.

The big issue for me was the role of Paper Trail. I’d discussed this card in a previous post as one that I was particularly excited to see in the System Core 2019 list, as it was (1) more interesting than Private Security Force and (2) had potentially-fun interactions with Kati Jones, Professional Contacts, Bank Job, Armitage Codebusting, Scrubber, etc. For a format that leaned into Connections and Jobs for Runners, having an agenda that Corps could use to battle this seemed like such a great idea!

Except it was totally not fun for me at all.

Every game turned into one that hung on whether or not Paper Trail was scored early, scored late, or was taken out of the game before it got scored. The scoring of a Paper Trail was either a huge scoring window opener (six credits at least), or was a Runner economy destroying board wipe. In every game that Paper Trail was scored — both when I was Running or Corping — the card led to bad feels. Bad feels when I was Corping because, frankly, it’s not all that joyous to destroy an opponent’s econ in one fell swoop, it just feels mean. Bad feels when I was running because, shockingly, one can’t really come back from most Paper Trail scores with only two Kati Jones in SC2019. Kati is essential in Core Experience, Paper Trail is required of all Corps in Core Experience, and so this interaction which might have seemed fun and interesting at first, became tiresome and overdone when played in a tournament.

So, what is there to do about Core Experience? As a format, it’s probably already solved, and it’s also clearly been limited by these neutral agendas. You can’t make a Corp without Paper Trail, so your gameplan has to rely on seeing it or doing something with it, at least to a small degree. That’s a definite improvement over the often-blank Private Security Force, but now Paper Trail seems to have been designed around too much. NISEI’s honestly wonderful idea was to vary the Core every year, but its big problem is that it’s currently stuck to some of the limited agenda choices that plagued all of the FFG cores. As with many things NISEI has chosen to do in its first year (including Organized Play models and approaches), NISEI has stuck to what FFG did before it as a starting point.

I get the idea and am somewhat sympathetic. You want to keep the game familiar for older players, and rock the boat as little as possible at the beginning of your management of this game. You also want to just be able to tell a new player to combine all your agendas with the neutral agendas, and, voila, they don’t have to worry their heads by making any agenda decisions. But without making deck design decisions, Core Experience as a format feels both too predictable and too reliant on variance at the same time. One can’t add that third NIsei Mk II or, god forbid, a third Priority Requisition because of the hard 2x included in SC2019, and so you know exactly what to expect of the Corp’s agenda suite. As a Runner, you know exactly what to expect, and as a Corp you can’t create more consistent decks.

This isn’t to say that there isn’t room for some creative experimentation in Core XP and that perhaps we haven’t solved everything yet (I love that Jonas Wilson was playing around with Notoriety in Leela, even if it might not have been great). But it is to say that this “single core” format will need some tweaks to keep folks coming back to it. While the tournament was very well run and organized, it didn’t feel like this had enough fun variability or flexibility to sustain a format. I can’t imagine playing Core Experience as a format again without more degrees of freedom in deck design.

With the Core sets being revised once a year (presumably, based on the name), my hope is that a larger, broader set of testers will help to not just revise the card set for SC2020, but will help to redesign the format a bit more. Give us more options for neutral 4/2s (Show of Force could be fun?) — or even alternate 5/3s (the Fragments). Why not give us a bunch more 1x cards for extra spice and flavor? Giving us additional parameters to design decks around should be the priorty because, let’s be honest, telling new players to shuffle in all the faction and neutral agendas together isn’t going to be a big concern because, uh, there aren’t new players. Core Experience should be designed for those of us who are experienced and want a new format to play with, and not in order to try to keep things simple for new players that frankly don’t exist.

....

Oh, and one more thing. As you might remember, I was very excited to be a part of NISEI and announced that a few months back. You might have noticed that I haven’t used “we” or “us” in this or any other posts recently because I’ve been on the outs with that group for a while.

After I started writing this up last night, I found out that I was finally kicked out of NISEI — booted from NISEI’s internal Slack and now from their Trello and even their playtester forums. The reason given to me by “RealityCheque” was because I was “bad mouthing [NISEI] on Twitter,” which I suppose I was to some extent, depending on your definition of “bad mouthing.” Follow this thread, and I’ll let you judge for yourself how “bad mouthy” it was.

In general, I think it’s a good idea for everyone involved in this game to have respectful and constructive criticism around the game, and I thought I was doing that here. Like in this blog post, I questioned whether or not the Core Experience Paper Trail interaction had really been tested sufficiently. That was apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back as far as my NISEI club membership goes, and I’m honestly a little surprised at that. I mean, many people have said and thought much worse about NISEI than echoing someone else’s criticism about how well a set was tested, but that was the reason provided to me.

These things happen in fan-run projects all the time. Like I said, I’ve been expecting a boot from them for a while after I had internal conflicts with a few of the members of that organization and, as a consequence, had chosen to step away from the project beyond writing a few pieces of promotional copy. I really don’t care if I’m a part of NISEI any longer, as I contributed very little to the group and didn’t find myself in line with many of their approaches to collaborative work.

I’m more worried about NISEI’s approach to public criticism by its members and the way it (or maybe just a few individuals) view the activities of NISEI members outside the comfy confines of their private Slack. NISEI is a wonderful and ambitious venture, and one that is still getting its footing. I’d like to hope that, in the future, they’ll be better equipped to understand the ups and downs folks have with their products, including those of us ostensibly on the “inside” of the project. There should ideally be a better process to tease apart the criticisms that are intended to damage them from the ones that are about active discussions of what works well and what doesn’t in the game. We’re all still players who care about the game and often want to talk with others online about it. And if NISEI volunteers can’t feel like they can validate or echo others’ criticisms of the NISEI  game without facing punitive measures like this, then I just don’t know how they’ll continue to attract anyone but those who already agree with their existing perspective on the game.

I wish them well. I’ve got a NISEI Store Championship kit on the way to me and I will probably still actually run it, though I’m unsure of that at the moment. I’m hopeful that the future of NISEI as it evolves will iron all out the kinks in their process, create some new and exciting variability in the game, and give us more reasons to play. Even if I’m not enjoying their current game, there’s always tomorrow.

[burchlife]

One year in Dallas

Be prepared, this is a 2000 word summary of the year in revision and the year to come.

Crazy to think that I’ve been in Dallas for a year already. I was optimistic but nervous when I moved here, leaving friends and the school routine for something new. Traveling was scary, but it was a temporary scary -I could back out whenever I wanted. I couldn’t back out of a life in Dallas though, I would have a career and (kinda) roots here. Mindset at the time: optimistic, but low-key terrified.

With no caveats, the last year has been the best of my life. Lets run down the list of things in my life:

1. Girl: I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t one of the primary reasons for my happiness. All through college I told myself I’d find someone I liked, that the next stage of my life would introduce someone, but I don’t know I ever really believed myself. Now, randomly, I have someone. And while it’s still early and I don’t want to be hyperbolic, it continually astounds me how much I enjoy her. I’m shocked that I spent 72 straight hours with her, never once got annoyed, and was sad when I had to leave. I don’t know I’ve ever been in a position with a person where, while they’re different in many ways, there’s effectively nothing about them that you don’t like. I didn’t know you could feel that close to someone

Perhaps more importantly, I know she’s made me better. It’s a stereotype, but since I’ve been dating her my confidence is higher, I stay in better shape, I’m more motivated in hobbies and work, and I spent a significantly smaller fraction of my time depressed or worrying about dumb shit. My Saturdays now consist of long walks and adventures and interesting things to do instead of lazing on the couch and feeling like shit by the end of the day. Because I want her to be proud of me when I tell her how my day went. I doubt she’d judge me when I told her my day was boring, but the extra motivation to impress her and be impressive for her is a constant factor and I hope that doesn’t fade.

I can’t say how this relationship will end, but right now I’m happy and I think she is too. It’s hilarious to read my posts from when this started and see my constant expectations of impending doom. After six months of dating I’m slowly starting to reign in the occasional fear that she’ll wake up one morning and be done with me, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get over feeling like she’s better than me and I’m lucky to be with her. She makes my life better.

2. Work: I’m still working through these thoughts as my rotation ends so I probably owe a more detailed post at a later date, but overall I’ve been surprised how much I enjoy the working world. It’s been interesting to see just how much I enjoy making an impact, in IPD I constantly felt like I was doing things that mattered and it made me look forward to getting up to go to work each morning. In RFAB, I rarely did things that mattered, and so it was unrewarding (though the few important things did engage me, showing that anything can be interesting). It’s comforting to know that I can find enjoyment and excitement in what I do, even if it’s working on TI’s most boring parts. 

It’s also reaffirming that I was able to do well in my roles. I’m not sure how much stock to place in reviews and compliments, but I think it’s safe to say that I’m above average and bordering on good. I’ve always had the fear that schoolwork and internships wouldn’t translate to real life; at my internships it always felt like I underwhelmed. It turns out that nobody is capable of doing shit until they get experience and an internship isn’t long enough to do that; once I learned what I was doing I proved to myself I had the traits necessary to be impactful. It’s also oddly reaffirming how ‘held together by duct tape’ the world is. I know that there will always be places for me to impact and improve. I’ve seen that the average employee has a mediocre skillset and gives 50% effort; if I have above average skills and give even 80%, who knows how far I can go?

I’m so excited to go back to IPD. I believe that in two years from now I’ll have made a genuine impact, learned an wide assortment of valuable skills (I think GP is a great boss who will put me in positions to be successful, check back in on this one to see if the opinion has evolved), and will be ready to go make my mark at HBS.

3. Exercise and Reading: Two things that are very easy to fall by the wayside if you’re not careful, and I was afraid that in my adult routine I’d let these fall by the wayside. Exercise has been a resounding success, I’m in the best shape of my life, almost ran a marathon (and will be running one eventually or dying trying), and am back to thinking every day excessive is the expectation. It’s funny how much fitbit has helped here - I’ve gotten better at zero zero days with little more than a reminder of the fact I’ve haven’t moved. I’m also excited about rock climbing, and hoping to stay excited and consistent.

Books are a bit more of a mixed bag, but I’m doing alright given the time constraints put upon by life. If I can hit my 30 books this year I’ll be happy, though it’s not an outright success.

4. Social Life: This was less of a fear upon moving(and has been more of a mixed bag over the last year) but I’m happy with how things have gone. I knew it would be good with Amy, and I hoped it would be good with Jeremy, but I didn’t know whether overall my social life would be enough to make me happy. By and large, it is. I’m extraordinarily close with both Amy and Jeremy like I’d hoped, and have a solid group of auxiliary friends around me that I can hit up whenever I need social interaction. I’ve done good as well at keeping ties with college friends and not letting those relationships die.

Probably the most surprising aspect of my social life though is that I’ve gotten to the point where I need it less and am less terrified about being alone. I think part of that is getting better at being alone while traveling SEA, part is that I’m more confident overall, and part is that work provides more social exposure than I expected. I’m partially excited to go back to IPD for this reason - social life there is 10x better than RFAB.

5. Mindset: In general, I think I’m growing my willpower and getting better at doing the little things that slowly build up to big things. These aren’t huge changes, but rather the habits like flossing daily, keeping the apartment clean, managing my time wisely, and walking every day, that aren’t hard but simply require being done. Even sending an apology to Eric Wilbur is something that I don’t know I would have done a year ago. More and more I’m seeing truth in the saying that willpower is a muscle and as you use it it grows

Here’s my overarching goal for the next year: No wasted time. The most successful people in the world waste effectively zero time. I’m getting better at this, but there are still days where I get home from work and talk to Jeremy for two hours then watch Netflix and go to bed. That’s wasted time. It’s not crippling, but it adds up and those three wasted hours could have been used productively, be it a hobby or reading or social life. The difficulty here is that wasted time doesn’t have a concrete definition: sometimes talking to Jeremy for 6 hours is wasted time, and sometimes it’s necessary catching up. Sometimes laying in bed and watching friends is wasted time, and sometimes its much needed brain shut off. It’s a fluid thing that I can’t always define, but that I can always tell. I need to listen to that feeling more and whenever possible even preempt it.  The past year has seen progress; showing me how rewarding productive time is and motivating me to work even harder.

More specifically, here are the next years goals off the top of my head, in rough order of importance:

1. No regrets on the relationship:  I don’t know how the next year with the girl will go, but I want to make sure that no matter what happens I have no regrets of what I did or didn’t do. Just being cognizant and intentional about the relationship is maybe the single most impactful thing I can do over the next year. Whether this is little things like surprising her, or big things like voicing my fears and complaints, or telling her I love her, or even ending things if they get bad, I want to know I did everything I could to do what is best and right.

2. Develop a hobby I’m passionate about: Rock climbing is a good start, but I want more. I don’t know what but I want to be able to answer “what do you do in your free time?” with an answer that isn’t “run, read, and friends.” Even if those are important, they’ve moved into baseline. No wasted time, use that time on a hobby.

3. Dominate work: I think I’ve done well in my first year, but by next year I want to be better. I want to be the top 10% in the product line, I want people to know that I get things done and I’m the person they go to for questions. I want to be irreplaceable. I think I can do this; IPD offers nothing but opportunity and I think I’m both in a good position and am capable if I push myself. No wasted time at work, use that time to add value.

4. Run that damn marathon: I’m disappointing in not running Toronto, but not disappointing in myself. I put my all into that training and stuck with it, not running was out of my control. I need to do it again, and this time better. 15miles/week until September, and then a real training plan until January. I think I can beat 4 hours finishing time, but I know I can finish. Be consistent, be careful, and be motivated.

5. Fix my diet: Cook more. Right now I eat like shit and I spend too much money eating out. I need to quit with my excuses that prevent me from just coming home from cooking, and I need to cut back on my sugar intake (it’s bad). This is probably the hardest willpower thing I face. I need to do better for so many reasons, from health to finances to feeling better. Working out and being hungry all the time isn’t an excuse to eat an entire bag of candy. No wasted time, just fucking cook dinner it doesn’t take long.

6. Make reading my default: Reading is more rewarding that Netflix or Picross or sitting on the damn couch. Stop wasting time and pick up a book instead, lets go to 30-40 books this year.

Below this the goals are more optional; they’re things I want to do but aren’t as much of priorities.

7. Get enough sleep each night: 7.5 hours/night per fitbit. Life is just so much happier when I prioritize sleep. This is a hard one to prioritize though, as there’s a fine line between wasting time leading to not sleeping and doing important things leading to not sleeping. No wasted time, turn off netflix and go to bed.

8. Branch out in my social life: I’m happy with the friends I have, but I could do better at cultivating a wider network. Whether this is James, or workplace people, or the girl’s friends, or people I haven’t even met, it would be good to grow my social circle wider.

9. Get involved in the community: I don’t know what form this takes, or if this will happen at all, but I need to think more into it. Community engagement has fallen lower on my list as I’ve realized that I’m only here for two years, but it’s not off and I don’t like that it keeps getting lower. 

So yeah; I’m getting complacent I guess. I’m setting a high bar, and I don’t expect to accomplish everything, but the last year has shown me what I’m capable of. I think if I work towards each of these and don’t waste any time, my life will be far happier by next June then it is now.

First year as an adult down and successful, on to the next one. Lets make it better and leave nothing on the table.