#I GAIN +500 LIFE POINTS EVERY TIME I SEE U IN MY ACTIVITY AND JUST IN GENERAL TBH

[nulltune]

Send to 10 other bloggers you think are wonderful. Keep this going to make someone smile. ☆♥ ( LYNN HI )

HIIII PEACH HIIIIIII!!! ❣️💖💓💞💗💘❤️ AND ALSO SCREAMS BC YOU'RE ALWAYS HERE 2 MAKE ME FEEL EPIC WAT DA HECK!!! 🥺🥺 THANK UUU!! BUT HEY NOW U SHOULD KNOW THAT U MAKE ME SMILE ALWAYSSS 😭😭🫶💓💖💗 ur always so sweet and supportive..... i cannot thank u enough for that honestly 🥹🫶❤️ I LOVE YOU LOTS AND IM SENDING THE BESTEST VIBES UR WAY!!! BIG LOVEE <333

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[willybillyme]

today was a pretty good day

breakfast: 0 kcal

lunch : 488 kcal

dinner: 325 kcal

calories consumed: 813 kcal

i did 500 climbers and 1 min plank and apparently i did 893 steps (but i still dont walk with my phone all the time) so i burned: 108 kcal

total calorie intake: 705 kcal

tomrw i will keep my phone on my pocket the whole day, so i can know how much steps i take in a normal day.

i used to walk 6000~7000 steps a day(half way home) and 11 000 steps if i walk from my school to my house , i missed that time. i used to run 3×30 min each week ,i really missed that. and all of that with with only 400 kcal in my stomach. (friday was a cheat day for me , it really helps, i used to had 2500 kcal !! a lot of bloating after it but really really worth it!!)

plz stay safe ! and lose weight in a smart way! we're living in a pandemic and so, don't go harsh on yourslef no one is gonna blame you for gaining weight !! it's normal and okay. look i increased my calories limit because i know i won't regret it! and you should too.

if you're craving bad and junk food that's normale, fiber and vitamine can't do much without the sun... like the vitamine D who is not GIVEN by the sun but ACTIVATED by the sun, it's not the same thing. your body knows what food is better for you ! also when you bloat you burn more calories ,and it's because your stomach is working hard!

exercising and intermittent fasting is the best way to keep your weightloss (working out 30 mim just before breaking your fast) or your weightmaintain/grow muscles. (working out 2h after breaking your fast).

our body are all different and no one knows how your body is gonna react to a workout! u can workout after a meal and lose weight!

also remember that fast or low metabolism, doesnt really exist but what does is your standard weight that you body already setted up before you were born! he will always fight to have that one weight he wants and that you don't know. if you lose to much weight he'll try to gain as much weight to go back to it and if you gain weight he'll quickly lose it ! love your body,he is always the best he can even when you're at your worst.

i know that my standard weight is 51kg(112lbd) i've been maintaining it for almost 5 mounths even tho i had a lot of cheat days , i gained weight but i've quickly lost it, i also know that i genuinely can't go under 50 kgs (109lbs) my body will do anything to gain weight until i'm 51kgs (112)again .

plz stay safe ! I'm not trying to spread any negativity in this account we can have an ed and love the way we're .

i have an ed, body dysmorphia and bipolarity but i'm still happy with who i am.

i wanna try and have 45kg (99lbs) so i can see if i like the "skinny me" or not.

i of course struggle with eating too much food, even tho there's not something such as to much food, i still remember that it's okay and my body needed it.

i can't reach my UGW this year because my neighborhood lost her daughter 2 years ago because of anorexia nervosa. she was 12 y.o ! and the only girl she had, i swear to god that almost every night she cries and sometimes i feel bad for having an ed. whenever i meet her she hugs me for 30min and start noticing my weightloss "ah you lost weight"; "really? it's just school and a lot of work i swear" i felt like someone took my heart and played ping pong with it.

i liked her daughter , she was always the first in her class no matter what ,the day before she died she bought a cake and no one visited her . if she had an account here i wish to visit it . she was so sweet but her mom tried everything for her but nothing worked. she was at this point if she doesnt eat she dies and she does she dies. even an operation was impossible. it was the sadest end i've ever seen in real life . i dreamed about her one night and she was at my house taking my hand and forcing me to go outside and play with the other girls. i woke up , remembered and cried . she looked healthy.

[loghainmactir]

hewwo! i was wondering if u could pls give me some advice on starting my transition? ive been so scared to start bc of family and costs but ive decided to just. do it. yknow? like if i don't ill probably die lol. u look amazing and rly confident in yourself in all ur selfies and one day i wanna be Like That ✌️❤️

hi! ok, so first of all: yeah, i absolutely can give u advice, and second of all: i remember feeling exactly like you did. it literally wasn’t that long ago, either, it was like. 2013/14/15 (i can’t remember, time is fake, whatever lmao!). third of all: bless u yr so sweet. i still have a lotta issues with confidence (i doubt myself, my talent and what i can do literally hourly), but honestly? i love my body right now. it’s a good, genderless body, goddamnit.

long, long post ahead bc i’m trying to think of things i did and good god please take it with a grain of salt because a lot of this is just me ranting about things i wish I’D done in my own position. i’m also coming from a place where HRT and surgeries AREN’T free, so that’s also A Thing. everyone’s experience is different.

transitioning (particularly medically) really super fuckin varies country by country (and honestly probably even state by state, age by age and fuckin gender by gender because cis people won’t let us fucking BE goddamn): i don’t know where you are, so my only tips there r: find a trans friendly doctor/endo (i was kinda forced to go through a hospital bc That Was How It Was here in good ol’ Australia), and one people wholeheartedly recommend, if you wanna go that route.

my first point is make sure you find safe spaces in every goddamn aspect of your transition. medically, socially, physically. if you think your doctor is refusing you treatment or is discriminating against you, you NEED to ditch that doctor. if your friends and family are really verbally or physically violent against LGBT folks, you NEED to leave that space if you can (or not come out and wait until you can leave. seriously. i’m kinda lucky– my grandma was verbally violent against LGBT folks, and initially my mum was skepitcal, but i convinced them both to go to a group for LGBT+ parents and friends and they slowly turned around). get yourself friends, get yourself allies.

i cannot stress that enough. my first doctor refused to send my referral letter to the royal children’s hospital gender clinic because even tho he presented as a “nice” guy, he believed that because this was “”””out of the blue”””” for me, he figured he’d just Not Send It (and tried to tell me that a lotta kids there didn’t actually helpo, lol). so there i was, a young 15-16 year old alister, waiting like 2-3 months for something that didn’t even get fucking sent.

join trans groups on facebook and in real life. seriously, they’re a godsend; there’s buy-and-sells, advice posts, encouragement posts. ESPECIALLY local ones. most of them on facebook are private, meaning no one can see if you’re posting/in the group, and it’s easy to check if they’re not. these fb pages + local groups are good ways to find trans friendly spaces and doctors. i found my current doctor, who’s actually one of the very few doctors who knows what the fuck he’s on about re: trans people, through a real life trans group. they were like “oh, you should see x”, and even though he’s about 30-40 minutes away from me, he’s brilliant and honestly saved my life.

along those lines: figure out what you want from your transition, and then realize & accept that this may change (and it also may not change!). very early on, i was super insistent that i wanted phalloplasty and to wear packers, and now i couldn’t care less. at first, i identified as agender, and then as a trans guy/ftm, and now i identify as a Black Hole (i’m kidding, don’t @ me). like, a lotta people DON’T change their minds. but i did, some people do, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but your own what you want to do with your body 

(sidenote: this also goes for detransitioning or stopping medical transition but continuing to socially transition/present differently. literally, it’s fine. it’s your body. fuck anyone who says otherwise.)

again: FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.

your body is literally your body. do NOT let anyone tell you what to do with it or who you are. i had people very early on scream at me (legitimately scream and throw me out of home, thanks grandma), tell me i wasn’t actually trans, and harrass me for this shit: but frankly, if i’d put myself back in the closet, i wouldn’t be alive right now. i would’ve killed myself years ago, and i wish i wasn’t kidding. if it’s safe, you need to stand up for your own body and your rights and put yourself somewhere that will allow you to follow through. you need to keep going and keep living.

my only other two pieces of advice are “patience, baby”– like, for real, every single part of transition takes time. this varies from where you are and who’s supporting you, but it’s generally true. it takes time for people to accept new names and pronouns 

(lotta people get furious about this, and i used to be one of those people, but hindsight’s a bitch and you gotta realize that… like, it’s hard for some cis people. you gotta give them a little bit of wiggle room, especially if they’ve never ever met a trans person before. it’s about reminders, reminders, reminders: which is SO hard if you’re not safe/don’t have the confidence. there IS a flip side to this though: if chad and stacey have known your new pronouns for months, now, and they keep “””slipping””” up, they’re not slipping up, honey. they’re doing it on purpose. kick their teeth in i’m kidding please don’t do this you know what i mean.)

it takes time for HRT to kick in. it takes time to gather a Look™ of your own you like, it takes time to build confidence to even tell people, it takes time to save up money for surgeries and it just… takes time. sometimes because it’s a naturally slow process, sometimes because cis people are Cis People and like to gatekeep. i remember being very young in my transition, sitting in the car after one of my appointments with the afformentioned shithead doctor bawling my eyes out because he’d told me i wouldn’t be able to access t for x amount of time and it was bullshit. this year i’ll be 2 years on t. wild, huh? there’s a lot of us and not equal amounts of resources (ESPECIALLY in public systems) depending on where you are, so you gotta be prepared to WAIT.

i’ll tell you what super helped me through those years: hyping myself up for other things! i still have the ticket from my first twenty one pilots show. that show meant SO much to me. i cried all through it, because waiting for that show kept my mind off of the wait for my royal children’s appointments (and even waiting to go up to melbourne bc my mum and i would go and get kebabs was a good thing to focus on!). keep things that aren’t trans related on hand (seriously i struggled with this because dysphoria and shit is fucking hard!! it’s easy to say but really fucking hard to put into practice).

(one day i’m gonna tell tyler and josh just how much they saved my goddamn life. i know they hear it weekly, but i will.)

my other thing is that uh. it won’t solve all your problems especially if you’ve got mental illnesses. this is a really fuckin depressing thing i had to drill into my brain, but it really helped. transitioning solved SO many of my issues. i no longer have back issues (thanks, like, literal kilo titties, lmao), i no longer have sore ribs and i can breathe and wear shirts. i lost so much weight (and am kinda gaining it back, but whatever). i no longer have anxiety about whether people can tell i’m binding– which is WILD because i used to stress the fuck out about it to the point where i never went out anywhere. i used to sit on the bus wondering if the person next to me could tell i had titties. now it literally doesn’t even register.

my issues now stem from PTSD, depression, BPD and ADHD. how do you fix this? you don’t. but what HAS helped is finding a therapist who won’t pressure you into talking about trans shit. lemme tell you: this shit gets exhausting after the fifth time of “oh i googled ‘can you become a boy’ when i was, like, nine” (this is my go to story because this memory is so vivid). of course, there’s gonna be moments where you HAVE to: my therapist recently actively asked me to briefly run through it for my PTSD report. but otherwise we literally haven’t talked about it and that is a GODSEND (because i don’t need it. if you need it, that’s good, too!). having a therapist that you can just wordvomit at wrt anything is literally the best thing and can be super helpful– seriously, there were a few trans-related sessions where i just snarled about the bullshit gatekeeping and the bastard i had to see for my therapist letter (oooh, every time i think abt the fact that it was something like $400-500 for two fucking sessions i get so mad lol), but outta 14 it’s really only like 2-3 of them.

but yeah. that’s it. i dunno, these are things that i’ve learnt and sorta… like to think as helpful for myself. of course, this could be different for you: you’re not me, you’re entirely different, in no doubt an entirely different country, social, financial, mental state. i was FUCKED UP when i first came out. i didn’t know that then, but i do now. i spent a lotta time by myself and that’s not healthy, so i really encourage you to reach out to our community, local and worldly, because oh my god, we’re here for you. we are SO here for you.

[rennyji]

June 30th and 29th tweets...

June 30th and 29th tweets...

June 30th tweets…

on my way home after lunch hour, &close 2 my neighborhood, a ripped tan white guy without a shirt &kiwi green shorts gestures “if I want 2 fight him from the side of the road” & walks toward the road. now I don’t know him, have been living here for yrs, minding my own-so random.-

- once again I would have to suspect the orchestrators are passing something off as me, relaying something they’re not supposed to, or filtering my writing. When people get on ur case out of the blue, does that bacon fueled animal think in any shape or form he’s part of my life?-

- I guess that’s why so many of my friends are south or East Asian- like Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, Korean…and then there are the Greeks or the Mediterranean variety of people…I feel these groups are less aggressive and randomly looking for a fight…

Now I come home, gotta deal with the village personality of my Indian father & the overly Christian nature from Biblical times of my “pretending everything’s okay with life” parents. Seeing them for 30 years made me want 2 leave my the background they hail from, their religion.-

- I contemplate marrying out for mixed race children…but now America has teamed up against me as one team leaving me with no one. Just the crazy random people on the street.

- one ray of sunlight is the Chinese woman who held my hand in passing, or the tall blonde with the dog crossing the street in Bronxville, from in front of my car, who went out of her way to wave at me twice…-

- amidst the “situation”, the stupidity in my home till I can afford an apartment, the crazies gesturing me if I want to fight, the people at work with misconceptions…it just never ends…Thank God for my morning coffee or when I go for a massage…

Yeah, for one reason or another, just putting this out there, real men get men’s pedicures and manicures. Who wants flaky skin on their fingers or rough feet?! Got the idea from Will Smiths character on one of the episodes in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air…

i like christina aguilera, in terms of looks, when she first started out...now she's too...too...tough looking...

msn dot com has a lot of interesting stories that catch my eye, in my old, obese age...stories like whats trending and about pop culture...

Have you ever been around someone who randomly and alone, develops the habit or ability of chewing out loud...I think I’ve heard those three words together out loud before: “chew out loud.” I think it’s a thing.-

- I mean, to make every sound behind eating audible is just a ridiculous habit. What is the benefit for those who eat like that?! I eat without making a sound and I’m still able to enjoy the taste of my food. -

-Is it just an old habit that kept repeating with no real origin or reason? I saw a friend from long ago on Facebook yesterday with his beautiful wife and child,living as lawyers, and a “classy life”, a “life of standard”, at that. -

-People who chew/ or eat out loud for that matter have got to be because their parents didn’t give them an a*s wh*pping and spoiled them for being the baby in the family.-

-Mother probably did everything and now that child has that expectation of others in his/her life. I’ll bet these same people, while innately smart, just sit around, while their spouses, siblings, or roommates have 10x the activity in the same time frame of their day.-

- I’ll bet their perception of life is on the unconventional side too, siding on ideal scenarios and not a life of meaning, probably more along the lines of how people of your world see you. I mean things like that, it affects who you associate with or go out in public with. -

-It’s not about freedom. Whatever the age, practice decency...don’t be an animal...that’s just my thought on eating out loud...probably the only way to get it through to some, in the spirit of patience, not practiced in actual conversation..-

-I mean literally, every sound from sipping the drink into the mouth-if it’s drinking- to expressing satisfaction upon swallowing, to burping when digested...geez...learn from the point, rather than seeing it as some cultural insult from another world, -

-or seeing it as humorous that someone you know is talking about you...it’s disgusting and there comes a time to snap out of it...-

-when those of ur world put you through actual tormenting procedures over the course of eleven years, excuse you for bringing up a real concern/issue over what actually is stubbornness or lack of ability to comprehend.

but moving on...just bumping into random behaviors all day from random people...

doctors...i think theyre among the people you say/hear are out to get your money. Not accepting insurance, charging $350 per visit is one thing. But then simply to discuss an email or one phone call's worth of change and charging $350 for that...geez...-

-then theres the not-understanding-what-ur-going-thru &ur mental energy taken 2enforce a decision..the 1st $350 proved worthless, as that doctorProbablyDid more harm than good, &now an additional $350 4 a minor detail?! Hippocratic Oath my a*s. Even doctors lie 2me despite oaths.

the world is an ugly place, save for a few people...like that innocent pale blond riding her bike who apologizes for running into you with her bike, a couple of weeks ago...rest of the world is filled with attitude and things they see you through and simply foolishness...

On Amazon, they sell the " Nitrofit Pro Limber Stretch Machine " or U can search stretch machine, but it looks like Nitrofit brand's version. It costs $500. I wish morePeople would buy this stuff, so prices would go down. its an E-Z way 2 do essential stretching 4 tired muscles.-

- I mean you just have to get on top of it, in the prescribed positions, rather than using one of those straps...but then at the same time, if you go to a massage place for someone to stretch your muscles for you, it's $80 at discount pricing-and how often can you spend $80?-

- a one time investment of $500 could allow you to get the $80 benefit daily at your own comfort.

so they say vibrating foam rollers are good 4 tender muscles.has any1 noticed that some versionsVibrate more against urHands or theFloor, then the targeted area of ur chest or leg muscles? so how is it helping if most of the vibration goes 2the floor? or is it just 1 or 2 brands?

When I make it big, on really warm days, whether Im on that floor of my house or not, Im going  2turn on the central AC 4 all floors inTheHouse? Why? I find it annoying &disgusting, when I have 2 make that trip 2 the floor where the AC isn't on, & Im smacked w/a burst of heat.

So I'm experiencing that moment when one realizes he/she has everything on their bedroom L-Desk, with the exception of a pen and some paper to write on...but mostly a pen...how did that happen?!

June 29th tweets...

Came home after being in the heat, was thirsty. Had a cup of raspberry soda water from my soda stream. It felt so right for the opportunity…felt good going down my throat…

While out and about, kept seeing smoking hot Hispanic women…these women all, whether it’s good genes or makeup I dunno, have flawless, non oily, glistening skin…is the source some product from your native places and/or good genes? Share the knowledge…

Heard a song I downloaded long ago, on my car’s cd playlist…YouTube “Gained the World” by Morcheeba (I think that’s how it’s spelled…) - I heard it when channel 11 was WB11 and not The CW…anyone else remember that?!

“Will You Be There” by Michael Jackson…heard it for the first time in “Free Willy” and kept on listening to it…beautiful song…

Tired of plugging in ur iPhone or whatever else phone?! You can just put it on a stand to charge wirelessly. Works even with the case. On Amazon, search “ Anker 3 in 1 Multi Device Charging Station “.

U know whats also a good product 2 relieve fatigue in place of caffeine? A hand massager. LifePro has a version with some good intensity, but I prefer the highTech looking Chinese made ones. Just sharing the knowledge. Finding something good takes buying them all & trying em out.

Has anyone else tried Shawarma? Heard it for the first time in Iron Man from the Tony Stark character. It came off to me as a healthy version of the Indian “ biryani “ dish, minus the spices and butter. Now I can cross that off my list of things to try…

U know whats good? - Arabic food… “kibbeh” (an appetizer) comes off 2 me as something 2 remind me of Indian kababs w/an edibleCovering around the powderedMeat. Then theres the dessert, “Kunafa”-like sugary lasagna minus the tomatoSauce &cheese but w/something like cream inside.

[topicprinter]

Hi r/Entrepreneur, I originally wrote this article on Medium here, I figured I'd post it here too as it's got strong entrepreneurial themes and my heart was in the place of business as well as personal when I was writing it. I hope it helps you out!There is only a single core property separating all of your achievements and conquered goals from the ones you’ve put off, haven’t gotten to, or otherwise haven’t yet achieved. That core property is Action.Action, in my experience, is a prerequisite for the achievement of any goal. I think the term “good things come to people who wait” may be applicable in certain contexts, but for the purposes of achieving goals, I like to torch it from my literary toolkit.I’ve found that actions we take towards a goal can be lacking in substance a fair amount of the time. You feel like you’re doing things that will take you towards your goal, but for some reason, those ‘actions’ aren’t yielding results.This reflection lead me on a journey to deconstruct my current and previous goals so I could uncover what makes an action truly effective. I found that truly productive actions have certain characteristics rooted in them, and to my luck, I could categorize these in a way that somewhat made sense. So without further adieu…Here are the 4 characteristics of action that I’ve found, that make audacious and even frightening goals, very much achievable.PracticalityThe practicality characteristic of an action is legitimately the only thing that differentiates an action leading you to your goal, from inaction that’s impacting your potential.Theory is knowledge about the thing, practice is actually doing the thing. You’re not going to learn how to swim by reading a book about swimming. You won’t make a dime while reading a book about business, you won’t hit your fitness goals while watching videos about dieting. Each action you perform needs to have its roots in practicality if you want to inch closer to your goal.This is not to say that educating yourself is what’s holding you back, quite the contrary. However, if in the end your studies aren’t leading you to practice, or they’re literally the reason for your lack of proper action, you’re not educating yourself, you’re procrastinating. Get out of that cycle and make sure each action you take is practical.Optimising the layout of your website is practical.Calling several manufacturers to find a good fit for your design is practical.Going to the gym is practical.Just simply ask yourself the question —* Is what I’m doing tangibly and actively bringing me closer to my goal?*You won’t be able to answer ‘Yes’ to that question, if the action you’re taking isn’t rooted in practicality.ConsistencyHere’s a Turkish proverb that I adore.Drop by drop, it becomes a lake.By default, as human beings, we expect an action to give us an immediate reaction. I’m presuming at some point during history, a caveman slapped another, just to see the immediate satisfaction of angering his friend. Modern life has dug that default expectation a little deeper and gives us exactly what we want — everything, immediately, all the time.I want food? I can order it now and it’ll show up at my door. Do I want to talk to a friend? I’ve got a list of 500 a tap away. Do I want a date? Let me swipe and type my way to some social interaction. So when we start a business, make content online, try to progress in any way — our default doesn’t change. And we all know too well that this causes feelings of agitation, frustration and helplessness.The consistency pillar of action is exactly for that reason. If your action is practical, like going to the gym, that’s legitimately commendable. Want to supercharge that very practical thing you’re doing? Make it consistent and don’t expect immediate results.Consistency is difficult. There’s no other way to put it. Getting discouraged is a very real problem when our monkey mind is waiting for that immediate banana. Having a disciplined approach to consistency will always pay out dividends. Sitting down and writing, coding, working out, designing in a consistent manner for long enough, will allow you to turn it into a habit.And that satisfaction of a grueling thing becoming a habit… It’s like having a burrito that never ends. The light at the end of the tunnel stops becoming this elusive thing. You don’t even care about the light anymore, riding your kickass train through tunnels becomes just another thing you do. And you love it.Hot Awareness Tip #1 — Your phone is one of the super-villains when it comes to seeking immediate satisfaction. This almost always carries over into other facets of life. Manage it well. (I know you know, I wanted to remind you anyway)MeasurabilityIf you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.This quote from Peter Drucker, a famous management consultant, sums up the reason why companies fail. Companies that don’t emphasize data, that aren’t curious about the cause effect relationship between actions taken and results, that don’t reflect on outcomes — never actually scale. And almost certainly fail.I mentioned earlier that not seeing results immediately after an action discourages us. That’s true, but often times, we are actually gaining results. We’re just not seeing them. Because we’re not looking for them.You’re a small business using a sales model. You’re practical, you go out and try to make sales, you get on the phone, you do it all. You’re consistent, you do this every day. Progression is slow but you’re definitely feeling something. You’re improving, for sure. But you’re not recording anything. You’re winging the operation. This isn’t the worst thing because you’re out there doing the work, but what if you were to measure things? What if you managed things well? How would that affect you and the operation?I’ll tell you,You’d have a feedback loop to make educated decisions based on what’s working and what’s not.You’d feel less discouraged, or even encouraged by your now quantifiable results, decreasing the negative affects of delayed gratification.You’d be able to confirm 100% that what you’re doing is tangible and not theory.You might not be seeing changes to your body after doing 3 weeks of strength training, but you’ve gone up 10kgs on the bench press and you’ve doubled your initial squat. Things are happening.You feel like you’re writing style hasn’t improved, but you’re getting more comments and reads on your work. Things are happening.You haven’t made a single sale yet, but people are spending double the time on your site and making it to the end of the checkout. Things are happening.QualitySimply put, don’t half-ass things.You’re taking an action that’s practical. If it’s practical, just do it and do it enthusiastically. Commit to quality.If you’re consistent, but consistently doing something half halfheartedly, you’ll get halfhearted results. Commit to quality.If you’re measuring your efforts with the assumption that you’re putting in 100% effort, but you’re not, you’ll always end up with numbers that don’t make sense. This will only discourage you further. Commit to quality.The quality of an action makes all the difference when the other characteristics are met. Don’t skimp out on it, continually try to improve it, and you’ll always be moving in the right direction.Thanks for reading! If you want a little something extra once in a while, go here, or follow me on Reddit :)u/safkan04 signing out.

[cstesttaken]

HTC 'Ocean Note' Likely to Launch as HTC U Ultra, Headphone Jack Ditched

Information said to be from an unverified source, the U Ultra will feature a 6″ display, but no 3.5mm headphone jack. Providing just a USB Type-C port, HTC is following in the footsteps of courageous companies such as Apple, Moto, and LeEco. Considering HTC used to be known for taking audio on smartphones quite seriously, the expulsion of the headphone jack is quite ironic.

We’ll likely hear everything we need to know on January 12 when HTC hosts their event. In the meantime, let’s hear your thoughts on this 3.5mm jack situation. Is HTC making a really bad move with its removal?

Via: @OnLeaks

Honestly, right now a headphone jack is a luxury rather than a necessity for me. 95% of the time I listen to music off my phone it’s in my truck or with bluetooth headphones. I only use my headphones at work when I want to watch or hear something off my phone and don’t want people around me to hear. But if ditching it is all for the sake of “thinness,” it is so stupid since I would rather have a thicker phone with a ginormous battery than the thinnest phone possible.

jshep23

I hope that HTC KEEPS the Headphone Jack. They should not let what Apple and the FALSE future hinder their sound performance.

Marc Perrusquia

Hopefully this is finally a 6″ flagship, was hoping with the name “ultra” they would make it a 6.44″ display but at those point even a 6″ screen will make me happy.

Mike Menlo

I definitely think so. I use it all the time. HTC10, it has good sound – for a phone. High-end headphones, though, sound like a real stereo sounds. I know many ear bud makers are going Bluetooth, but I still prefer the plug.

Shadowstare

I love HTC. I’m a HTC Defender and Supporter. But there is no way hell I want a 6 inch phone with or one without a headphone jack. Nope nope Nope. I hope there’s a market for it for HTC’s sake. But I ain’t it.

Odellpi

For me the loss of the 3.5 jack is not a big deal for me. I do everything Bluetooth. To lose the jack means slimmer phone. Just my opinion.

The Dude

The only way losing the headphone jack makes any sense is if it translates to a bigger battery and longer life on said battery.

TylerCameron

If I could get a remake of the 1520 or N6 running Nougat, I’d be in heaven.

Marc Perrusquia

I’ve gone through most of the Flagships since the Nexus 6 was released and the screens were just too small. So dug my Nexus 6 out, installed Pure Nexus, which is running 7.1.1 Nougat, the latest security build, and have ElementalX installed. So I have my super high brightness mod which forces the AMOLED display to overpower to 500 nitts, have the 805 overclocked to 3ghz, and have the speakers boosted a bit. It’s not quite as fast as my HTC 10, but it’s faster than my S7 Edge was stock, and almost as fast as my 6p on Pure Nexus with the same mods. Only problem is with all these mods the battery dies pretty fast, but the Nexus 6 is still a hell of a phone.

Sporttster

Won’t be buying any phones without a headphone jack…..

Anoneyemou5e

How will this work with NextRadio, where you have to use the headphones as an antenna? Or that little click button adaptor that gives your phone an extra button for custom actions? (Seriously, I thought it was cool at 1st, bought 2, used one for about an hour….) But the NextRadio app does seem to be gaining steam. So that part of the question I’m serious about

John

They should strive to the most courageous and remove the phone itself.

atc-tech

Yes, they are making a bad move. It can’t possibly save enough room inside the case and engineering effort to take it out. There does not appear to be any reason at all to do it. Apple did it so they can sell more AirPods and lighting to 3.5mm connectors. Anyone who doesn’t understand that is a fool. So, why are other manufacturers following this lame trend!?

What is in it for HTC if we have to go choose from the 1,000 available adapters for USB-C to 3.5mm? Or if we buy 1 of 1000000 available bluetooth headphones (which we obviously don’t want, since we’re using 3.5mm jacks still). Apple people will buy Airpods because the guy at the Apple store told them that they work best with their iPhone. Android doesn’t work that.

Android works like this: If you SOMEHOW manage to convince the guy at the Verizon or ATT store that you’re NOT going to get the iphone 7, then they’ll just toss your “piece of crap” android phone box at you and tell you good luck with it. They might show you the 2 different cases they have in stock for it… just because they get a cut of accessory sales (probably 10%).

They probably won’t even KNOW if the phone has a 3.5mm jack or not. They’ve most likely never seen one out of the box longer than it takes to activate it and throw it out the door.

So, what is the point? Why take away the 3.5mm jack when people are going to use it? Premium headphone manufacturers aren’t making all USB-C headphones with no 3.5mm jacks. So, when Grado, Sennheiser, and whoever else all start selling USB-C headphones in lieu of 3.5mm, then you can take it out of phones. Until then, why are you doing it? To be like Apple/iPhone? That’s just stupid. I just don’t get it.

Suicide_Note

So long, headphone jack. Time for people to embrace wireless headphones.

Marc Perrusquia

Wireless headphones will never match a good wired set.

YuCMi

Does HTC want to remain irrelevant that badly?

VAVAMk_2

DanG

Orion

Tyler Durden

TriguyRN

It’s going to be unusable if they don’t shrink the bezels. Even the Nexus 6 is huge with its super small bezels.

Marc Perrusquia

You must have tiny hands. The Nexus 6 is too small, my Z Ultra with a 6.44″ and bezels way bigger than HTC’s was the perfect size. I’ve been using all these tiny 5-5.7″ flagships ever since. The Z Ultra ruined me.

sc0rch3d

will this be a preview of the pixel 2? if G is really serious about hardware, i don’t think it would jump mfg every year. on top of that, could HTC develop 2 separate flagship phones?

Good_Ole_Pinocchio

I doubt this is a flagship – It’s too early in the year. I think it’s a new line altogether probably replacing the Desire line…but I don’t really know anything.

BobButtons

To me, I’m still not understanding the benefits of ditching the headphone jack. I see it as placing a huge object in the middle of the road without explanation. When people question the person on it, they say “Well, it’s no big deal. There are multiple ways to drive around it.” All I think is, so? That doesn’t help at all explain the benefits of it happening in the first place. I’m not saying there aren’t any and I’d probably adapt and deal without it, but so far all explanations for dropping it are describing ways to overcome the obstacle, not explain why the obstacle needs to exist.

sc0rch3d

there’s got to be an accessory agenda. we would be ignorant to think (at least once) there’s a back room conversation between OEM’s and accessory makers like “ok dude, you should totally ditch the headphone jack and push my wireless headphones. I’ll give you 10% of my profits.”

ChrisI

wouldn’t doubt it for a second.

That makes sense for Apple since they use a proprietary Lightning cable/jack that every accessory OEM has to pay license fees for. It doesn’t make sense for USB-C devices where OEMs see no such benefit other than the exponentially smaller subset of people who buy their specific overpriced USB-C headphones/adapters. Because it makes no sense to buy their branded headphones/adapters, when there are other comparable ones out there that offer a much better value.

sc0rch3d

I agree, but it can be marketed. If HTC puts Steph Curry or Lebron holding the phone wearing Bose or Beats headphones….

RIP_HTC_Moto_LG_SONY

HTC should just go bankrupt and stop its Apple-mocking struggles.

Xappleuser

Sorry that you feel that way. I currently have an Moto x pure. Great phone. Everybody has their own opinions I guess. Never did like the OS software. But that’s just me. Glad you like iPhones.

Mike Menlo

I’ve had the three latest top HTC phones, and loved them. Solid, reliable, flexible … Had a couple two years and battery had no noticeable decrease in performance … Good speakers, straight-forward interface, awesome (large print-worthy) cameras – and I’m very hard to please, there. Still offering steel-bodied phones, water resistant – and they don’t “own” you, make you buy your apps from them, limit your control over phone features/services …

Sarachall

Guest

headphone jack doing the floppy disc in the trash heap of history

Collin James

The floppy disk was replaced with something better, though. This is just taking away something that is still relevant.

tnt

In a year or two having a headphone jack will be a marketing point. Whoever keeps it will advertise themselves as having the courage to keep it. Then maybe the trend will shift back… That’s my hope anyway!

That, or there will be some revolution in wireless / bluetooth technology that truly makes having the jack obsolete; as opposed to now, when dropping the jack is change just for the sake of change.

Armaced

I don’t think so, unfortunately. I suspect headphone jacks will be similar to removable batteries, expandable SD card slots, and physical keyboards. Most people don’t care, some people don’t want them, and some people insist on them. Slowly, the people that insist on them will tire of denying themselves the best phones based on one or two litmus features, which will slowly remove the demand until everyone just accepts the feature as no-longer obtainable.

Personally, I would give up all of those features for a physical hang-up (End) button. Luckily, my Galaxy S7 does pretty well with the accessibility feature that makes the power button an End button, since it also has a physical home button to wake up the phone when I am on a call. I suspect that will be gone in the S8 and my dream will be dead again.

hkklife

Agreed, just like how the trend was in 2015 and 2014 to remove microSD slots. LG did away with microSD AND removable battery for the G2 and brought them both back with a flourish with the G3. Samsung ditched microSD for the GS6 and Note 5 and brought it back for the GS7. Moto dropped microSD for the Moto X 2013 and 2014 then brought it back, first on the low-end devices and then for good in 2015 across the lineup.

I wouldn’t sweat HTC removing the headphone jack because HTC themselves will be removed from the marketplace in a year or so! I am glad to see them finally releasing a phone with a man-sized sceen. They’ve been totally quiet in that realm since the One Max several years ago.

Dumping removable batteries is nothing more than forced obsolescence, just like dumping microSD slots is pushing cloud storage agendas and tiered data plans. Dumping 3.5mm jacks is a ploy to sell new accessories and, more importantly, lock down all of the content and remove the last vestige of the analog ecosystem that cannot be DRM’d.

Ironic enough, the G2 is still considered their best phone. Maybe they should remove both for the G6.

Marc Perrusquia

Marc Perrusquia

They didn’t really get rid of them with the G2 the Optimus G before it didn’t have them, and the South Korean version of the G2 had a removable 2600 mAh battery, micro SD, and a TV antenna.

Daistaar

What is this, MicroSD Cards? lol

But on another note: I hope they have a good marketing this year. It was sad to see the HTC 10 being forgotten by almost everyone. I think it was a great phone.

With companies ditching the headphone jack, I have a bad feeling about the next Pixel.

Good_Ole_Pinocchio

Part of the rumor was that there would be 2 other phones launched at this event? Or maybe I misread. I don’t keep up with Rumors as much as I used to. But I’m intrigued if this is something brand new like the “leaked” video showed.

Cael

“In the meantime, let’s hear your thoughts on this 3.5mm jack situation. Is HTC making a really bad move with its removal?”

The Bolt didn’t have a headphone jack so not really a surprise.

Source

http://www.droid-life.com/2017/01/03/htc-u-ultra/

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[fallintoseattle2016]

Down to the Second

This is the paper I was talking about, It was my final paper for my creative writing class. -------------- Plane rides are activities that I’ve always hated, which is ironic because being from Hawai’i, if you want to go anywhere you have to buy a ticket that costs the same amount as a small down payment. Then you have to sit for hours on end only to be tired, cranky, and lost. Plane rides with your friends, on the other hand, are full of excitement and adventure; you bolt off the plane with adrenaline and plans for excitement.  Going on a plane ride for a sports team was never something that I thought I’d do, and yet, 3/4th of the way through my freshman year of college I would be on a plane ride to Sacramento, California, with the Seattle University Rowing Team. We were on our way to the 2017 Western Intercollegiate Rowing Association Championships, where three years prior, our program got their first and only medal. On Friday we were nervous. 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I know you guys can do it.” Betsy, our assistant coach says. That night we go to bed anxious and excited, waiting for the day to come. On Saturday we had our heat to determine whether or not we’d be in the grand finals or the petite finals. Since rowing has started, I’ve gotten used to waking up at 4:45, before the sun, before birds even wake up; I’ve gotten used to waking up when my sister at home in Hawai’i, is just going to bed. Waking up at 7:15 am was a luxury we’d never been offered in rowing before. The rules of racing are you must be awake three hours before your race, eat a balanced breakfast, and be on the water, warming up, an hour before your race. With lidded eyes we piled into the lobby of a Best Western, half asleep, munching on slightly burnt toast and scrambled eggs. Slowly, minute by minute, the mood of the room began to liven, the excitement and nerves churning in everyone’s stomach starting to come to life. At 8:00 on the dot all 9 girls piled into the van and drove to the course; it felt like mere minutes until we were there, arriving just in time to see the Varsity 8 pass the 1000-meter mark out of the van window. You could vaguely hear the beat of everyone’s pump up songs blasting from their earphones as they yanked them out of their ears and ran to the shore. As the boats shot down the course the crowd roared; every person was screaming, a school chant, a single name, anything that would get the boats to pick up any speed they could. As each of the boats got closer to the finish line the cheering got louder, only subsiding when the final boat crossed and the announcer begun to introduce the next race. During regattas everything always seems to be going, there is never really a time for someone to sit and think. But because we had come so early, this was the first time anyone in the novice 8 could take in their surroundings. The day prior was so hectic with the wind and all the traveling made it easy to forget we were no longer in Washington. At 8:45 it was time to start the warm-up, it was routine by now: squats, cat-cow, leg swings, lunges, wide-leg toe touches, ski lunges, high knees, butt kicks, hip openers, arm swings. Regattas are planned down to the minute and in order for boats to have enough time to warm up they need to be on the water an hour before their race. At 9:20 we walked the boat from under the trees and towards the launching area where the middle 4 got in, the stroke seat picked up our coxswain and put her in the boat, stern pair climbed in, and finally the our bow pair had the responsibility of shoving off and jumping into the boat. Now it was time to focus. Going through the race warm-up was second nature by now; we had done it the day before and mastered it months prior. As our race time approached we sat waiting near the start line, listening to the referee tell each boat to get their point. As the sun blazed down on Lake Natoma, we sat for what felt like hours as the boats in the heat before ours were having trouble keeping their point since the current was so strong. Our bodies were not used to sitting in 80-degree weather, it was the hottest anyone had felt in months, as we were used to practicing in nearly half that temperature. It instantly got quiet as each boat finally lined up and got their point. When the boats finished their start sequence it was time for the second heat to line up. We took our place in Lane 2, next to Sacramento State, the only boat we were unsure about; last year their sprint in the last 500 meters was something last years novices weren’t ready for. But this Sac state boat was a different line up and we couldn't think about that, we could only do our best and hope that it was enough. The thing about regattas is you don't remember your race. You don't remember your coxswain screaming your name, or the person behind you grunting in pain, or even the sound cheering as you run parallel along the beach. All you remember is the starting sequence and crossing the finish line, and we crossed that line first. As we checked the heat times our stomachs dropped; we had gotten first with a 7:06, but the boat in first place of the race before us had finished in 6:33. Something was wrong, novice boats never sub 7 by that much, it had to be a mistake. That night was full of celebration and more nerves, and even if the boat was 30 seconds faster than us, we had won our heat, and we were proud of that. Our routine for Sunday was almost exactly the same as the day before. Wake up, breakfast, pack your bag, pile into the van, and head off to the course. As we checked the lineup for our grand final we were confused, we were in Lane 1. That meant we were the fastest boat in both heats, the times of the first heat were wrong. Though it settled our stomachs a bit, we still didn't know how much we’d won by, how much we’d have to push even harder to get that gold medal. The grand finals were 30 minutes earlier on Sunday morning, and we wouldn't have time to see our Varsity cross the finish line. Not many things before the race were different from the previous day; we got on the water an hour before the race and did our warm-up as usual. It was when we were sitting at the Start, 30 seconds before the referee called, “Attention,” our coxswain pulled our boat together by starting the handshake that went from the stern to the bow where everything clicked. This was it. Immediately everyone’s eyes were locked on the flag, and as referee shouted GO, a single click of the oar hitting the lock could be heard as everyone pushed off the foot boards in time and we were off. To quote our captain, “Sometimes, in sports, it’s ‘go until you hurt,’ and then you’ve found your point. In rowing, it’s ‘go until you hurt,’ and then keep going.” This is the first race I can vaguely remember the last 500 meters. As we approached the last stretch, the boat next to us, UCSB, who had been a few seats behind us the entire time was getting faster. They were gaining on us, soon, with 200 meters left they were even, and 50 meters later they had a bow deck on our boat. We were going to lose. With 150 meters left, it was time to take an early black out 10, or in this case 15. Our assistant coach always told us our black out 10 was something to be feared, she didn’t know how, and neither did we, but each time we took it we surged forwards. I remember my lungs feeling like they had been ripped out and my legs had been cut off, everyone was coughing, gagging, panting, trying hard to breathe. Not one girl in the boat knew whether we had won or not but no one cared; it was the closest race we’d ever had and we’d be happy with whatever we got. The referees at the finish line told three boats to stay, UC Davis, UCSB, and Seattle U. UCD was to go first, followed by UCDB, and finally us. We still didn't know what was going on. Had we won? Why were we going last? This was the first time anyone in our boat had experienced anything like this. But as we rowed to the medaling station, we saw the varsity screaming from the beach, our assistant coach holding a trophy, and our head coach with tears in her eyes. We had won, and nothing could top the feeling I had after we set the boat down and ran to each other, arms open, and tears running down our faces.