#I FUCKEN BLACKED OUT AND KILLED MY FRIENDS DOG

[yanderespamton78]

I stole my moots idea and made a smash cake idk here look at it

mostly because i was bored and i have been playing minecraft for like 10 hours straight no joke the blood vessels in my eye are popping from not blinking enough and my neck hurts from looking up at my monitor all day and i got my first ever taste of grief from my dog being killed by my friends dog and still feel like im gonna throw up <3

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Master Post of things I wanted to post while reading ACOSF- mostly humour/ crack lol (Spoilers... Duh...)

First, general opinion: I liked the book generally. I knew it would be very Feysand friendly and I was prepared for that. Not my first choice but I get it. I really had to take a few hours off with the whole hiking scene. That really fucked with me to see Cassian so pissed and militant despite already knowing where Nesta was coming from and how betrayed she felt (ESPECIALLY once I learned that he had guessed they were mates already). I know that self loathing was a major theme but I do think it was laid on a little too thick for too long. I also think there was so much Nessian interaction when things were angsty and then when they were happy I was just WAITING for that full chapter of soft happiness and I feel like a lot of that got lost to Nesta’s relationship with her sister. Above everything though I gotta say that it BREAKS MY HEART that Cassian never actUlly says I love you to Nesta at any point in the book. I know it’s meant to be that he’s always loved her and it’s his actions that show it etc etc but it’s still kind of a blow for him to never say it... never even outright think it in his own perspective (go back and look the closest he gets is saying he’s acting like a lovesick puppy. We only get to see Cassian loving Nesta from her perspective as she realizes it which I get and is beautiful but maybe ONE DECLERATION THANKS). Anyway, I am hoping that opportunity arises in future books. Although.... I don’t think I will read the future books. Maybe I will, but honestly this was just SO MUCH. Like... I think there was too much in the book. Each of these quests could have been its own book and I was happy to keep going because I’m obsessed with Nesta, but I just don’t think I’d be interested enough in the other characters to read something so convoluted again (like I’m sorry the blood rite started with basically 100 pages left that is WILD). It was also so clear that so much of this book was setup for future books and that’s fine but it was kinda messy just being honest. ANYWAY onto more specific thoughts/ jokes:

Chapter 2:

Cassian: I just hope that Nesta knows we are doing this for her benefit, because we care.

Feyre: I don’t care this shit ends now. I’m burning your apartment to the ground.

Also Cassian: *Let’s Nesta fall down a flight of stairs*; *calls Nesta pathetic every day*; *tells Nesta everyone hates her*; *walks around slamming doors all pissy as if he’s the one being held captive*

Chapter 11:

Nesta:Rhysand is an asshole

Me:

Cassian: well everyone fucking hates you

Me:

The way that Cassian thinks about Russet Potato is just straight up not healthy. Like I get looking up to a sibling or whatever but I’m starting to think that Rhys is Cassian’s one true love. Cassian being THAT blind to every one of Rhysand’s flaws is a character flaw of his own. Even Feyre isn’t THAT blind.

Chapter 11 Pt 2:

Nesta from day one: I’m not training in that camp. I hate that camp. I’m not training there. Fuck that camp

Cassian: this is because you hate me, isn’t it?

Me:

Like I’m sorry did we really need Feyre to show up to help him crack that code???

Chapter 10 (and beyond):

My OTP? Nesta and the House of Wind.

It’s a solid enemies to lovers story (chapter 6 she says even the house hates her then later it’s her only friend and ally. Great love story.)

It reveals its heart to her before Cassian does

It knows what she needs

Gave her water on the steps instead of watching her fall down them

Pushes Nesta gently by keeping the fire so Cassian can see that she is afraid and haunted instead of empty and broken. Encourages her to go to dinner with people by barring the library but doesn’t FORCE her to go. The house does not judge her.

Spoils her and is silly with her while she has her sleepover.

Takes an active interest in something important to her and shares one of her hobbies

Side note- this book even has me pissed at the IC about how they treated a damn house!! Like how dare they say no one likes going there! How dare they be so rude to my new #1 favorite book character??? The house just wants to give you cake and books and run you a bath. Perfect partner IMO.

Chapter 17:

Me when Cassian does the bare fucking minimum and tells Rhys to calm the fuck down and stop threatening to kill Nesta:

Chapter 21:

When Rhys said that Nesta always has a choice here I said, out loud, ��that’s fucking rich rice ball”. My dog looked up. That’s all.

Chapter 21 (and beyond) pt 2:

Prythian: mating bonds are very rare

Archeron sisters: survey says that was a lie

Prythian: fae fertility is very difficult. Conceiving can take decades

Archeron sisters: survey says that too was a lie

Prythian: No High Fae can survive the birth of an Illyrian winged baby

Archeron sisters: once again, the survey is not on your side here

Chapter 42:

Rhys: this is a bad idea

Cassian: that should be written on the Night Court’s crest

Me, wine glass raised to mouth, scoff more bitter than necessary: yeah it Fucken should”

Chapter 42 pt 2:

Yknow I was genuinely shocked by one thing in ACOSF. I was shocked that Rhysand and I agree on something.

He absolutely fucking shouldn’t be High King.

The mere SUGGESTION that Nesta’s power and fight and trauma and depression and war and entire FUCKING STORY has all been so that Rice cake and French fry can be a high king and queen literally set my blood BOILING at exactly the point in the book that I was starting to VIBE

Side note- Can we please just Fucken stop with the stars blinking in and out of existence in Rhys’ eyes. Like calm down. Rice pilaf has purple night eyes we get it. Just like... simmer please.

Chapter 46:

I GET that it shouldn’t have come out like that and that Nesta’s reasons weren’t right, but get ABSOLUTELY FUCKED RHYSAND for thinking that it is your right to HIDE THE DANGERS OF LABOUR FROM A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT KNOW YOUR SPECIES!!! This had me truly wildin and I think it was a disservice to Feyre’s character too that she didnt lose it more.

Chapter 55 (and earlier):

Cassian: *bows to death as Nesta emerges from the black depths on a throne to rule her undead armies*

Cassian: *watches bleeding as Nesta plucks the harp and wields her Made sword of death to murder Lanthys and claim the ability to stop time itself*

Nesta: So, now I go after the crown

Cassian:

Chapter 57 (and earlier):

Kelpie: You shall be my bride before you are my meal

Helion: *rides enchanted horse up to shoot his second shot with Nesta*

Lanthys: Tries to seduce Nesta into being his Queen even as he attempts to kill her

Eris: I’ll give you anything in exchange for Nesta as my bride

Cassian watching every male being in the universe trying to get with his mate:

Chapter 60:

Emerie: we’re not entering the blood rite, are we?

Cassian: Only if you want to

Brialynn:

Chapter 80:

Nesta: *Saves Cassian’s life in the war*

Rhys: I still hate you and will never forgive you for what you did in not hunting as a child.

Nesta: saves Feyre and Nyx

Rhys: I bow before no one and nothing but my crown and now I shall fall to my knees before you oh mighty saviour queen of all

Side note- can someone please compile a list of all the things that Nesta Archeron had done/retrieved/gone through for the Nigh Court because that shit is astronomical at this point and I really need everyone to start sipping their Respect Nesta Archeron Juice RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!

Anyway I’m emotionally wrecked but shoutout to anyone who made it this far into my ramblings!

[meleuki]

g2k me uncomfortably well

1. What is your middle name? 

It’s my grandmother’s first name. I’m not gonna say what it is tho. 

2. How old are you? 

I am an age. 

3. When is your birthday? 

31st of March, same day as Angus Young hell yeah. 

4. What is your zodiac sign? 

Aries

5. What is your favourite colour? 

Black, Purple & Red.

6. What’s your lucky number?

1,714 (long story). 

7. Do you have any pets?

I have one little dog, he’s cute asf. 

8. Where are you from? 

Australia. 

9. How tall are you?

5′4/5′5, I can’t tell most of the time. 

10. What shoe size are you? 

US 9 or 10

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 

um like 12, but I only wear about 5 of them regularly.

12. What was your last dream about? 

some dude turning into this cannibalistic animal type thing & me becoming friends with two ghost boys who murdered a bunch of people, and then got murdered and having to figure the rest of the case out for them. (supernatural has kinda been rubbing off on my dreams lmao.)

13. What talents do you have? 

I can play guitar and piano. I can cook pretty good?? I also have a talent for being a dumb ass. 

14. Are you psychic in any way? 

I don’t believe I am.

15. Favourite song? 

atm, Enter Sandman by Metallica

16. Favourite movie? 

IT (2017), or, Scream. 

17. Who would be your ideal partner? 

oh golly, I don’t know actually. I just think I need someone who has some confidence, a kind soul and an open mind, and is able to put a smile on my face even when i dont want it. So far, I haven’t met someone who has caught my eye, but i hope one day I do. 

18. Do you want children? 

Yes, YES.

19. Do you want a church wedding? 

no I don’t. I want one in a garden area type thingy. 

20. Are you religious? 

i’m not sure.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 

yeah like 4-5 times. 

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 

nope, I don’t plan on it. 

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 

I haven’t. 

24. Baths or showers?

both

25. What color socks are you wearing? 

I’m not wearing any. 

26. Have you ever been famous? 

pft, nope.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 

I would, but only for the reach of my music. 

28. What type of music do you like? 

Rock ‘n Roll, Blues, Jazz, Indie, Classical, Punk, etc. (pretty much anything)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 

I have never.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 

four. two under my head, and two on the side of my bed. 

31. What position do you usually sleep in? 

i’m either on my right or my left side, one leg up so my knee is diagonal with my stomach and one stretched out, one hand at my chest and one arm resting over my side. 

32. How big is your house? 

one story, medium size ish. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 

coffee... and maybe sometimes I’ll have a smoothie. 

34. Have you ever fired a gun? 

yeppp, I have. It was ages ago tho. 

35. Have you ever tried archery? 

I’ve only really ever done archery on summer camps or school camps. Although I was pretty good at it whenever I tried. 

36. Favourite clean word? 

spellbinding

37. Favorite swear word? 

F U C K

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 

Maybe a little over two days. 

39. Do you have any scars? 

I do. Some on my knees, a lot on my back and my hips. My fingers are pretty scratched up a lot too. 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 

‘scuse me what? no, never. 

41. Are you a good liar? 

Indeed I am. But I don’t like to lie. 

42. Are you a good judge of character? 

I’d like to think I’m good at reading people. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 

I can do a pretty generic American accent and a stupid posh British one. 

44. Do you have a strong accent? 

I’d say I don’t, especially hearing me compared to some other Australians - my accent isn’t strong at all. You can definitely tell where I’m from though. 

45. What is your favourite accent? 

Russian, or German. 

46. What is your personality type? 

Chaotic dumb bitch, who rants about nature, peace and love. 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 

um, my macpac jacket, which was like $300. (It was also a birthday present from my mum, and she worked there at the time so it was cheap.)

48. Can you curl your tongue? 

I think I can??

49. Are you an innie or an outie? 

Innie. 

50. Left or right-handed? 

right-handed. A bitch can do jack shit with her left. 

51. Are you scared of spiders? 

I used to be, I kinda want a pet tarantula now tbh. 

52. Favourite food? 

Chicken noodle soup, fight me. 

53. Favourite foreign food?

Lasagne. 

54. Are you a clean or messy person? 

Usually, I’m pretty messy, I can’t work in an environment that is completely clean, but somedays I just like to clean shit up. 

55. Most used phrase? 

“Sorry, what?”

56. Most used word? 

definitely, “bro”.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 

if a shower is included, like an hour. But without a shower, like 20mins. 

58. Do you have much of an ego? 

No, I don’t. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 

Suck them. (how tf you gon taste a lollipop if you bite it??)

60. Do you talk to yourself? 

All the fucking time. When I’m writing I talk myself through the story by mumbling the words to myself a lot. Other times I might be doing the dishes, getting dressed or doing something mundane and I’ll just begin to have a conversation with myself. 

61. Do you sing to yourself? 

bitch yes, all the fucking time. 

62. Are you a good singer? 

I like to think that I’m okay. 

63. Biggest Fear? 

Losing my ability to see. 

64. Are you a gossip? 

No, unless the person in question has done something shitty to me or a close friend, AND I will only talk about with a close friend. 

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

66. Do you like long or short hair? 

I don’t mind either way, but long hair makes my knees weak.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 

bitch, HAHAH, nope. 

68. Favourite school subject? 

English, but really only when we’re doing creative writing. 

69. Extrovert or Introvert? 

Smack me right in the middle. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 

nope, never ever, and I never plan on it. 

71. What makes you nervous? 

A lot of shit, not gonna lie. 

72. Are you scared of the dark? 

yES, the dark stems from my main fear, loss of my sight. I can’t be in control of the situations around me. 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 

depends what kind of mistakes we’re taking here.

74. Are you ticklish? 

yes, and I fucken hate it. 

75. Have you ever started a rumour? 

I don’t think I ever have. Maybe accidentally?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 

people call me a mum? So, I guess? 

77. Have you ever drank underage? 

wtf no, who do u think I am wtf???? JK, yes, all the time. Whenever I get the chance. 

78. Have you ever done drugs? 

ask @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx .

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some dude named Tyler, he turned out to be an ass tho. 

80. How many piercings do you have? 

Just my ears, but I want like four more. 

81. Can you roll your R’s?

a little, but only for like two seconds. 

82. How fast can you type? 

@livewiredroger tells me I’m an aggresive typer so, I guess I’m pretty fast at punching the fuck outta my keyboard. 

83. How fast can you run? 

ok, kinda hate running, it hurts my tits. But I’m a sprinter, long-distances kill me. 

84. What colour is your hair?

black, dark brown and honey brown. I dyed it black and it’s growing out, looks cool tho so I don’t mind. 

85. What color is your eyes? 

blue, green, grey. I don’t know which one, I’ve been told all of them too many times. 

86. What are you allergic to? 

nothing that I know of. Pretty sure I’ve got an intolerence to mushrooms tho, and dairy does weird things to my stomach. 

87. Do you keep a journal? 

I do, I haven’t written in it in a few weeks tho. Reading back through my depressive episodes isn’t a fun trip. 

88. What do your parents do? 

job-wise? They’re both teachers for primary school kids. 

89. Do you like your age? 

I guess? I dunno.

90. What makes you angry? 

A lot of things, but I’ve learnt to control it, mostly. 

91. Do you like your own name? 

I don’t hate it. 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I have. Boy names; East, Patrick, Samuel. Girls names; Piper, Lila, Milan. 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I would love a boy. If I had a girl I would love her all the same. But right now, a boy is what I have in mind. 

94. What are you strengths? 

kill em with kindness

95. What are your weaknesses?

I can be very forward, or very frustrated. 

96. How did you get your name? 

my mum just turned to my dad and was like, “hey what about this?” and my dad was like, “yup, sure thing.” 

97. Were your ancestors royalty? 

NAh. 

98. Do you have any scars?

 I answered this one already?

99. Colour of your bedspread? 

blue and beige. 

100. Colour of your room? 

One wall is aqua blue, the others are white. Mostly blue aesthetic I guess. 

I tag: @guns-n-crue @gretavanyeeeeet @solohqrry @punkslap @livewiredroger

@antheasnow @malibubarbievince

[bethhxrmon]

All the odd ones 😘

Oooof of course you would do this. Soooo it’s super long so I’m probably gonna put a read more thingy so it’s not obnoxious.

1.What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

Annie’s actual name is Annika, but Annie’s super short and so is Ann which is sometimes used. Although, once he finally meets her, Tony Stark calls her Pikachu because of her powers and his need to make pop culture references.

3. How tall is your OC?

Since Annie’s faceclaim is Auli’i Cravalho and she’s 5′3, that makes Annie 5′3. Kind of short, but not as short as me so she’s a lucky gal.

5. What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

When there isn’t rehearsal to be done, Annie wears lots of hoodies, sweatshirts, and the occasional cardigan with a t-shirt under it and some jeans with either her brown or black combat boots. When she is rehearsing, just swap out the jeans with her assortment of leggings because she likes the stretchiness. Hence why the original White Swan costume involves silver leggings (silver because Harper’s extra and likes the theme). But for formal events, Annie goes with her favorite black and white polka-dot dress that cuts off just above the knee with flats. She also has a floor-length dark blue dress with silver flowers sewn in, but that was for a dance she never got the chance to go to.

7. Does your OC have any markings, such as a birthmark or a scar?

Considering she’s a superhero and has a death wish??? Annie has scars all over the place. Though they’re mainly on her legs from bumping into buildings wrong. Also, she has a deep scar on her thigh from a certain part in I wanna say chapter 12 but who knows, I sure don’t!

9. What does your OC’s bedroom look like?  His/her living area?

Since Annie is a superhero trying to hide from her parents, her bedroom is her living space. She has a full-sized bed against one wall, all of them are a light blue color. Right next to the left side of the bed, which has a fuckton of blankets and a couple stuffed animals, is a large desk with her desktop computer and a spinny chair. Right next to that is her window (it’s plot convenience, but ya know what? fight me how else can she get out undetected???). She has a built in closet and it has all her hoodies and cardigans and also her Heather Macnamara costume from her freshman year’s Halloween party.

11. What is your OC’s relationship with his/her mother?

Annie absolutely loves her mom. She’s always wanted Annie to do what was best for her. Whether it’s dancing or acting or writing, her mom’s the supportive one without a doubt. And while Annie knows she makes her share of mistakes, she’s able to let it slide because at the end of the day, Annie’s not dumb. She knows whether or not what someone did was selfish or not. And more often than not, her mom doesn’t have selfish intents.

13. How many siblings does your OC and what is his/her relationship with them?

Annie has no siblings, but if she did, they would definitely know that she was a superhero and the whole plot of her story would be bribing them to keep their mouths shut.

15. What was your OC’s childhood like?

I answered this one here! 

17. What is your OC’s imagination like? 

Annie has a seriously great imagination. She kind of has to in order to be decent at acting. It’s super easy for her to think of a scenario or person and put herself right into the middle of it. Also, it makes her think of all the possibilities and that gets in her way because she overthinks some aspects of her life too much.

19. What does your OC think of children- either in general or about having them?

Considering Annie’s only sixteen right now, she doesn’t want to have kids. Even in the future, she isn’t sure how practical having a kid is given some parts of her past that are kinda spoilery and she doesn’t wanna pass on her powers on accident. But she does enjoy talking to little kids. She thinks they’re funny.

21. Who are your OC’s closest relatives?

Annie rarely sees her extended family, so her closest relatives are her parents. Though she currently feels like her dad can go suck it. Which is fair, he sucks.

23. Who are the people your OC surrounds him/herself with?

Before the fanfic, Annie was basically a knockoff Cady Heron and tried getting in with the popular crowd. But currently she surrounds herself with Harper, the fashion design genius, and her two favorite nerds Ned and Peter who are actually the sweetest people she knows.

25. If your OC has a soulmate, who is it?

Everyone’s favorite Spider-Dude, Peter Parker for sure. It works great, they’re both superheroes. That’s not all, but I don’t wanna spoil stuff.

27. What are some things your OC admires about his/her soulmate?

Okay, if it’s physical, Annie is always going off about Peter’s eyes. Like, if she wants to get a real conversation done, she has to look at something that isn’t his eyes. And can you blame her? Those puppy dog eyes could work on anyone! She also really likes his hair, it just looks so soft. But if it’s not physical, Annie can’t get over how genuinely sweet Peter is. He just gives so many people so many chances and is literally one of the kindest and smartest people she’s ever met. And she does think he’s pretty funny too, which is always a plus for sure.

29. What is your OC’s level of education?

At the start of the fic, Annie’s a sophomore in high school, and at the end she’ll be a junior. Do with that what you will

31. What is your OC’s opinion of school?  What kind of student was s/he?

Annie likes school for the purpose of learning about different stuff. Even if she won’t use it, she doesn’t mind the random trivia. She’s always handing things in late, but she’s normally on the teacher’s good side so they tend to just let it slide because if she’s good at conversing then she must be a responsible student and working hard, right?

33. What subjects interested your OC?

Annie’s a huge theatre kid so she likes anything to deal with acting. English, history, and psychology are probably her favorite. The only subject she can’t get is physics, but she’s pretty solid in almost everything else.

35. How is your OC working towards his/her dream job and/or achieved his/her current profession?

Theatre classes and trying to participate in the school plays and musicals is how she tries. Also, I’m only saying this because it’s not a serious spoiler with how things are going to go, Annie definitely gets into Julliard for acting. Just saying.

37. What is your OC’s biggest dream?

Annie would KILL to be Christing Daae in The Phantom of the Opera, it’s the ultimate dream come true.

39. How does your OC handle anger?

Poorly. Annie loses control over her powers when she’s extremely angry and what happens as a consequence, she can’t control.

41. What is your OC’s greatest fear?

Annie is terrified that her powers will scare away everyone she’s ever cared about.

43. What kind of sense of humor does your OC have?

Being the regular Gen-Z kid she is, Annie has a pretty dark sense of humor, but she also likes puns and creating silly nicknames for people.

45. What are some things that annoy your OC?

Being told acting’s not a viable career, that she’s dumb, and that she’s a bad person (she can say it but will fight anyone else who says it).

47. How easily does your OC forgive?

It genuinely depends on what it is and how often the person’s screwed her over. If it’s the first time and Annie likes the person, she’s quick to forgive, but observant. If it’s a repeated deal, it wears on her and she has no qualms about messing with them.

49. If your OC experienced trauma, what was it?

I see you, trying to find out about the Fuckening™. That’s not gonna happen. You gotta read the fic to find out about all that, my dude.

51. What are some of your OC’s morals?

Don’t betray friends, don’t go down without a fight, if you know something and it’s potentially harmful then you gotta say something, and don’t leave people behind.

53. What is the health of your OC?

Physically? Annie’s pretty good except for sleep deprivation. Mentally??? Wellllllllp she may or may not have manicdepressionandanorexiai’mnotsureyet.

55. What are your OC’s thoughts on death?

Totally okay option for her, but definitely not allowed for her friends and loved ones.

57. What are some of your OC’s weaknesses?

Annie’s very critical of herself, sometimes overly competitive, she doesn’t always know when to stop, very impulsive and will do something stupid if she thinks it’s right for .5 seconds.

59. What does your OC think of him/herself?

Annie either thinks she’s the best person ever or she totally hates herself, no in between.

61. What is the general impression your OC gives other people?

Annie comes off with a bit of a resting bitch face. So she looks a little intimidating, but she’s also short so how intimidating is that really?

63. How does your OC display love?

Annie pays attention to little things and tries to do small things. Like if someone likes a certain type of tea, she’ll make it for them. Or she’ll compliment them while teasing them at the same time. That’s how anyone would ever know that she’s absolutely smitten.

65. What is your OC’s favorite drink?

Coffee, it lets her get away with sleep deprivation. Although her all-time favorite is a peppermint mocha. She would kill for it year-round.

67. What is your OC’s favorite sweet?

Annie loves anything that’s sour apple flavored. Not only because it matches her Hogwarts house and green’s her favorite color, but because the tartness is just so satisfying.

69. What is your OC’s favorite kind of weather?

Rainy, it reminds her of Seattle.

71. What is your OC’s favorite movie and/or TV show?

Annie absolutely loves all the Harry Potter movies and will proudly display her knowledge of it at any time. She is a huge fan, but she also loves movie musicals to death. Except for the 1961 West Side Story  movie. It uses brownface.

73. What is your OC’s favorite form of entertainment?

Dancing around an empty room like an idiot to music. Either by herself or with someone close to her.

75. What is your OC’s favorite scent?

Rain mixed with fresh baked goods. It reminds her of the market and she would kill to go back.

77. What is your OC’s favorite sound?

Definitely the ukulele. It reminds her of some really good times.

79. What is your OC’s favorite kind of ice cream?

Green tea flavored. Ever had it? It’s so good and I recommend it hardcore!

81. Okay one thing you know about Annie that’ll never make an appearance in the story but is important to who she is as a person - whether it’s a little detail of something she experienced or a belief she has.

Alright, Annie definitely has or had a Captain America themed fidget cube that she keeps in her hoodie pocket because she used to play with the loose thread on the sleeve part and ended up constantly making thumbholes that Harper would have to fix. They got tired of it and gave her the fidget cube.

[theplateescape]

L.A.

Los Angeles: City of fallen angels

After much too long dragging ourselves out of the quicksand of our modern lives, we touched down in the city of angels with no sleep and, by then, uncomfortable shoes. We at once found ourselves being spoken to like slow children by a large, surly black woman who had apparently seen fit to apply thick, white house paint as nail polish and eye shadow, as we negotiated passage through the broken down houses, and barred windows of Inglewood to our accom in Koreatown. After a brief glimpse of the famous Hollywood sign through the green/grey haze of the thick LA air, we arrived at our temporary home. Our driver of course, was not shy to ask me for a tip (we come from a non-tipping culture in Australia and New Zealand) an awkward exchange which consisted of him giving me change for the ride fare, and then me giving it straight back. We then stashed the bags, as we were much too early to check in and, with a much needed change into my trusty jandels/ thongs/ flip flops, set out into the 40 Celsius morning to kill some time.

Following a lot of cursing and sweating, we managed to get a tuna melt in the belly, and board one of the mobile looney bins they call buses, to the Downtown area for a quick reconnaissance mission. We stumbled into “The Last Bookstore”, and the “Grand Central Market” which was more of an immense extended food court, with great local beers, and a mind boggling array of local delicacies. With the jagged teeth of jet lag digging deeply into our ability to remain conscious, we just managed to get back to Koreatown before surrendering to sleep. Waking sticky, but refreshed, it was back to the Grand Central market for great local beers, tongue tacos and the spiciest raw prawns I’ve had since Bangkok. Marinated in lime juice and coriander and swimming in pure evil, this refreshing bowl of prawn aguachile was the perfect catalyst for a big night out.

First stop, “Varnish.” The worst kept secret bar in LA. With a great cocktail list and super authentic prohibition era speakeasy vibe, this gem is hidden behind a sandwich shop. You enter through a door that from a distance just looks like a wooden panel wall. A few cocktails down, the best mint julep I’ve ever had, and free shots from the vibrant and knowledgeable bar staff, we did what all self respecting traveling alcoholics should do, and asked the bar keep where they go to drink. Seems simple enough right? It’s like asking chefs where they go to eat. We’ve employed this technique many times in foreign lands and have yet to be disappointed. Next to “Bar Clacson” for a beer and to watch people play pétanque on their full sized indoor pitch until I notice a lot of people emerging from the back of the bar. Another hidden space is revealed as we head through to a dark, dingier space playing punk music at high volumes and finished with arcade games. Needles to say this is much more our scene and we hold up here until we can barely stand.

As we leave, we employ the old ‘ask the bar tender where to go’ trick one last time and end up in the middle of nowhere eating tostadas and tacos from a truck with a bunch of LA natives. These taco trucks are an institution here and people are pretty faithful to their favourites. I’ll admit on our way to the “Flamin Tacos” truck, it seemed like the mother of all bad ideas; heading into the unknown with no trusty internet service or cell phone coverage to get our drunk asses back home. But as soon as I tasted the “Cubano,” a two pound sandwich filled with every kind of dead animal you could think of I realised, I am home!

As a child I can vividly remember one of my friends going to Disneyland over the school break. I can also remember being intensely jealous and vowing to get myself there some day. Well folks some 25 years later this overgrown kid got his wish, and then some. We hit three theme parks in 4 days, a deceptively exhausting exercise. I’ll spare the details in favour of a brief overview of each as we experienced them.

Universal studios. This was our first one so we were naturally pretty excited despite getting in from our taco excursion at 2.30am. In short this place is like the Gold Coast’s “Movie World” on crack! Not so many actual roller coasters, but 3D motion master type rides are the go here. The highlight was definitely Harry Potter’s Wizarding World. All the lengthy queues for rides were well shaded with big misting fans everywhere, which were a godsend in the crippling heat. Longest wait time was 45 mins for the Harry Potter ride, but it was the best!

S

6 Flags, Magic Mountain. Our roller coaster lust was fully sated at this park. There so many that we couldn’t possibly ride them all in one day, though we did try. This one is a long way out of town and involved us having to hire a car and drive ourselves out there. We’d had another big night the day before. This coupled with learning to drive on the right side of the road made for a pretty exhilarating experience before we even got to the park. The highlight was probably the “Tatsu” in which you are strapped in then turned to face the ground, and hurtled head first through the most terrifying series of twists and turns ever dreamed up by some sick genius engineers. It was the first ride of the day and we foolishly thought we had picked a gentle ride to warm up with, not the most intense ride in the whole park! Parts of this park where a bit run down and shabby to be fair. Also in a week of bad theme park food, the styrofoam biscuit they were marketing as a burger here was the fucking pits. Longest wait time was an hour I think, and lines were unshaded and the park overall felt poorly thought out compared to the other two. The “Superman Escape” is worth an honourable mention as I have never screamed with such honest and complete terror as I did while being shot 35 meters in the air backwards at 100miles per hour.

Disneyland. We really did save the best for last. As soon as you set foot in the magical kingdom you can’t help but revert back to an awe stricken 10 year old kid. The obsessive attention to detail was impressive to say the least. Some of these rides are at least 40 years old now, but you’d never know. Everything was so beautifully maintained, you’d swear it was built yesterday. Beautiful design and flawless staff execution, (the other parks probably had more thrilling rides) overall immersion, professionalism, and a sense of true childhood wonder made this place on point. Highlight was the “Indiana Jones “ ride which also had the longest wait, not that that mattered as the queue lead you through an ancient temple complete with booby traps and ancient relics. Also “New Orleans Town” was fucken mint! Unfortunately the “Haunted Mansion “ and “Space Mountain” where both closed which kinda sucks but this place was still the happiest place on earth. They also had the best food with the “Dole Whip”, a pineapple soft serve that actually tasted like a real pineapple, and a Moa sized turkey leg that tasted like ham and left me greasy and defeated.

We did all the other LA staples, the Hollywood walk of fame, the Chinese theatre. We saw an orchestra performance of some of John Williams finest film scores at the Hollywood Bowl which was $20, BYO, and so epic it still brought a smile to this jaded old travellers face. I was delightfully and constantly surprised at how, despite the reputation for rudeness, the people of LA were so polite, kind, and helpful. The traffic gets a bum rap here too but to be honest, Auckland traffic is much, much worse (sort your shit out Auckland!), besides once you have mastered the “hook turn” on the mean streets of the Melbourne CBD, you can basically drive anywhere it seems (except Saigon, Saigon is fucked up!). We’re told that no trip to this town is complete without a trip to “In-n-Out Burger” and to be fair it was an experience. If you’ve never seen a drive through queue spill out onto the road, around the block and hold up traffic a road over, then you ain’t seen shit son! The burgers were good, but not that good. We went to “Five Guys” burger parlour a couple of days later which was far superior in every way, and we didn’t have to wait 45 mins for burgers and battle overweight, heavy breathing burger whores for a scrap of table space to actually eat. In a town built on hype and little substance I felt like In-n-Out’s popularity is symptomatic of an age when you can be famous for simply being famous. Sure the secret menu items are kind of a cool touch, but is a secret menu really that cool if everyone, their dog and the internet knows about it?

After cramming in as much as possible in our short time, in this very large city, we decided to hit “Little Tokyo” for drinks and nibbles. Starting with “Mumford Brewing “ we demolished their range of very delicious IPA’s before striding through what was hands down the biggest homeless tent city I have come across. The stark contrast between the “haves” and the “have-nots” in this town was never so brutally apparent as while watching my back we made our way to the next port, in this sea of misery and decrepitude. We’ve seen real poverty in places like Cambodia before, but it was a cold hard slap in the face to see this happening on such a large scale in the “Greatest Nation On Earth”; for shame America. 

Our night then took us to “Wolf & Crane”, where the barkeep directed us to a great sushi bar down the road (always ask the bartenders where to go), where we gorged ourselves on very well priced raw delicacies prepared right in front of us, and sipped giant Sopporo’s and tried our best to order what we could in poorly spoken Japanese. Back to Wolf & Crane for more beers, whiskey tasting flights, and eventually being held captive by the head bartender who knocked off, sat down with us, and proceeded to get us completely shit faced until the wee hours, and refused to let us pay for anything.

Suffering the most brutal hangover, in a week of foggy starts, we pulled our shit together, cleaned up the now unrecognisable food mess we had presumably purchased before retiring only a few hours before, and prepared to leave Los Angeles. We rented a car, packed up all our shit and hit the road for the California coast. The fresh sea breeze and coastal hillsides did much to mend the self inflicted mental wounds we sustained in the concrete jungle. Mile after mile of pristine coast line gobbled up by big business and wanky resorts the size of small towns, made me long for untouched New Zealand just a little, as we made our way down to the border to cross into Mexico.

Los Angeles, city of angels, home of the dodgers and of course Mickey Mouse. Where the air is thick, the water dehydrates you, and the sun is always shining. Looking back however, the angels are dodgy at best, with soiled, scabbed wings, and yellowed nubs for teeth that chatter incessantly to drug induced apparitions, while constantly scratching at the imaginary worms crawling under their skin. I’m no stranger to colourful characters coming from one of the rougher parts of Auckland, and now living in a once notoriously sketchy area of Melbourne, but as we catch the bus to downtown LA to rustle up something to eat, it strikes me that there are an extraordinary amount of damaged individuals roaming the streets in the broad, unforgiving daylight. It takes more than the far off gaze of a few broken souls to deter my appetite, but as I stare into the vast void pooling behind those dead eyes, I have to ask myself, “who is to blame for all this misery?” And then it clicks, who else could it be? The only logical conclusion is as obvious as the track marks on the arms of its victims, we must of course blame the mouse! That’s not to say that I believe a 5 foot rodent wearing gloves and pants is responsible for all the hurt on the streets here, rather it is an effective symbol for the dream, or rather, lies that lead so many hopefuls to over extend and wind up facedown in the gutter. We are all told that if we work hard we can do anything. But this is not necessarily the truth. Do you really think a man (or women) wakes up one day with the burning desire to clear away other people’s trash. Most of us have to play with the hands we were dealt. But that’s a necessary evil in our world. Simply put, if we all got what we wanted out of life by following our dreams our filth would ultimately pile up in the streets and choke society to death. Some ones gotta pick up the trash. Hollywood makes its living packaging up the lie, the dream, and selling it off piece by piece for the price of an admission ticket. So like moths flying too close to the light bulb, the hopefuls come to ‘make it’ in tinsel town, but instead crash and burn, and wind up chatting to themselves on the 720 to downtown. Possibly also the apparent lack of an effective welfare and public mental health systems could be a large contributing factor, but it’s not as fun as taking a swipe at everyone’s favourite bipedal magic vermin.

[imaginesofeverykind]

I was tagged by @rafeadderall bless <3

My Last:

1: Drink: Orange Juice (I live off orange juice and bad decisions lmaoo) 2: Phone Call: My friend Ra, bless him.  3: Text Message: Domino’s Pizza lmaoooo im so lonely </3 4: Song You Listened To: You’re gonna go far kid - The Offspring 5: Time You Cried: If I wasn’t crying due to being an over tired mess it was probably when I watched a Dog’s Purpose (shit that movie kill me)

Have I Ever:

6: Dated Some One Twice: no 7: Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Probably  8: Been Cheated On: No 9: Lost Someone Special: Yes 10: Been Depressed: No 11: Gotten Drunk And Thrown Up: Once w/ real bad alcohol poisoning (go hard or go home amiright lmaooo) 12: Three Favorite Colors: Black, Blue and Green

In The Last Year Have You:

13: Made New Friends: Yes! <3 14: Fallen Out Of Love: Na - usually u gotta find love first lmao r.i.p me 15: Laughed Until You Cried: This is a daily occurrence  16: Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: yeah lmao love being centre of attention 17: Met Someone Who Changed You: Do dogs count?  18: Found Out Who Your Friends Are: Myself, my PS4 and my dogs heck, it gets wild down here.  19: Kissed Someone On Your Facebook list: Yeah lmao wish I didn’t 20: How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life: Unfortunately too many.  21: Do You Have Any Pets: Two lovely puppers (actually borfers) Dusk and Skye and two cats; Jaz (my Cat) and Bronson (mums cat) 22: Do You Want To Change Your Name: Honestly mum was gunna call me brittany and thank fuck she didn’t bc I deffs look like a courtenay so no lmaoo 23: What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: Got lit.  24: What Time Did You wake Up: Eight - Nine 25: What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: Driving out to save my friend from a shitty grindr hook up and got krispy kremes for him. Lov u <3 26: Name Something You Can’t wait For: STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI IM HYPED AS FUCK 27: When Was The Last Time You saw Your Mom: literally five minutes ago.  28: What Are You Listening To Right Now: PVRIS - My House 29: Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: yeah, they are v nice 10/10 would interact again. 

General:

30: Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: the lack of Sam Drake Smut on this site literally.. ur killing me tumblr  31: Most Visited Website: youtube 32: Hair Color: Dark Brown naturally - but at the moment half black half purple 33: Long Or Short Hair: Medium/long? 34: Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Does it count if they’re fictional? 35: What Do You Like About Yourself: I’m a walking fucking meme and a half.  36: Piercings: Septum and ears, had my nose done but got rid of it.  37: Blood Type: No clue bc I hate needles and I will bleed out to death rather than have one of those pointy fuckers come near me. (she says as she has tattoos??) 38: Nickname: Court/Courtenbae/dumb cunt (really i respond to either, im like a dog) 39: Relationship Status: FUCKEN SINGLE BOIS 40: Zodiac Sign: Scorpio 41: Pronouns: She/Her 42: Favorite TV Show: Rick and Morty or Parks and Rec 43: Tattoos: One on the back of my neck (ligthsaber) and two new ones on my wrists (empire logo and the jedi knight symbol)  44: Right Or Left Handed: ambidextrous, I can’t write for shit with my left hand but it’s a real saviour when it comes to drawing.  45: Surgery: I had my tonsils taken out, had to glue some of my head together after i got a nail stuck in my head lmaoo, and ankle surgery bc I would literally roll my ankles 5 times a day somehow??? 46: Sport: I used to dance and got my black belt in Karate, and for about 10 years I did kick-boxing, boxing and wrestling but like now i’m just a couch surfer lmaoooo. 47: Vacation: Off to Canada in 2019 to work for 2 years <3 SO KEEN 48: Pair of trainers/Sneakers or Tennis Shoes: Trainers asf

More General:

49: Eating: nothing 50: Drinking: OJ 51: I’m About To: pass out, im dead tired.  52: Waiting For: My love life to start picking up again like ????? I’d date me, I’m funny 53: Want: Some fuckin krispy kreme tbh  54: Get Married: If I get married it’s going to be a star wars themed wedding, no questions asked.  55: Career: Production designer for Film & TV <3

Which Is Better:

56: Hugs Or Kisses: hugs 57: Lips Or Eyes: Eyes 58: Shorter Or Taller: Idgaf as long as u give good hugs 59: Older Or Younger: Either all, i’ll poke fun at you some how <3  60: Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach: arms, gotta be able to lift me away from my problems 61: Hook Up Or Relationship: I tried hookup and yeah na look. Let me tell you kids something. I fell asleep.  62: Troublemaker Or Hesitant: Troublemaker

Have You Ever:

63: Kissed A Stranger: yes 64: Drank Hard Liquor: EVERY FUCKEN NIGHT, na jk but yea.  65: Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: I actually have no clue where my glasses are rn.. rip 66: Turned Someone Down: yeah lowkey 67: Sex On The First Date: nah 68: Broken Someones Heart: yes 69: Had Your Heart Broken: eh.  70: Been Arrested: nope 71: Cried When Someone Died: Yeah 72: Fallen For A Friend: Na everyone here is trash and all my friends are gay. 

Do You Believe In:

73: Yourself: Always 74: Miracles: WHERE YA FROM? YA SEXY THANG! 75: Love At First Sight: OKAY YEAH WELL FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY ONCE I MEAN I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN BUT LIKE  76: Santa Claus: not for a long time hahaha 77: Kiss On The First Date: why the fuck not 78: Angels: I dont have an opinion on this stuff so like idk????

Other:

79: Current Best Friend’s Name: Mike, forever and always bless him <3 80: Eye Color: Hazel green/yellow in the light?? Im a freak I swear 81: Favorite Movie: STAR WARS SERIES SOZ NOT SOZ 

I Tag: @missdictatorme @dragonjedihobbit @shararogers

[fc-rg]

i was tagged by @robertsatandowski09 thanks hun

Coke or pepsi: Coke 
Disney or dreamworks: probably disney although dreamworks has some classics 
Coffee or tea: tea, coffee gives me jitters 
Books or movies: movies because i have such a short attention span 
Windows or mac: mac 
Dc or marvel: i don’t really mind (i live for batman soundtracks tho) 
Xbox or playstation: playstation i lived for crash bandicoot as a child 
Dragon age or mass effect: what 
Night owl or early riser: im pretty boring bc i go to bed at like 12 and wake up at like 8 even on weekends if im not doing anything so none 
Cards or chess: cards 
Chocolate or vanilla: depends 
Vans or converse: converse 
Lavellan, trevelyan, cadah, or adaar: u wot
Fluff or angst: u wot 
Beach or forest: beach #perthgirl <br> Dogs or cats: kitties! but doggos are great<br> Clear skies or rain: clear skies 
Cooking or eating out: lmao eating 
Spicy food or mild food: mild im weak 
Halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: christmas eventho im the grinch i literally had exams last halloween and i didn’t even care its hardly a thing where i live 
Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: TOO COLD HEAT MAKES ME WANT TO DIE 
If you could have a superpower, what would it be: invisibility 
Animation or live action: live action 
Paragon or renegade: what 
Baths or showers: showers 
Team cap or Team ironman: probably cap bc i was obsessed a few years ago (also team sebastian stan amirite) 
Fantasy or sci-fi: probably fantasy although im not a huge fan of either 
Do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so what are they?: well right now i cant stop saying “hun” “have a nice day darl” “are you fucken serious” and “wot” sooo does that count #shaniandmichaelstan<br> Youtube or netflix: youtube 
Harry potter or percy jackson: never payed attention to either 
When do you feel accomplished: finishing an assignment 
Star wars or star trek: the one with spok lmao?
Paperback books or hardback books: reading kills me bc i have no attention span but probably paperback 
Horror or rom-com? rom com 
To live in a world without literature or music: literature 
Pastel colors or dark colors: love them both hun
Tv shows or movies: tv shows 
City or countryside: city 
If any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: i have no idea i think aries is perfect for me (which is me) 
If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be? legally blonde the musical, or les mis, or lady gaga fame (her 08 album) 
Cinema or theatre? - theatre 
If you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be? - sokka’s 
Smiling or smirking? - smiling? 
Are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent? - all or nothing… usually nothing 
Playlists or your whole library on shuffle? - playlist on shuffle? my whole library has a heap of badly cut dance music 
Travelling or staying at home? - travelling since i dont travel ever 
If you could have a meal with three people, alive and dead, who would you choose? - shani grimmond, gough whitlam and i really cant decide so maybe AK brömmel and she could give me all the inside gossip (ik thats so bad but i LIVE for gossip) this was hard tho i feel like so many people would make me too intimidated (like footballers) 
Favourite sports team? - FC Bayern München, perth glory, all blacks, crusaders, roosters, eagles i guess but i don’t really follow afl, i love so many teams tho but they’re the main ones i follow (idk i cant hate anyone (except suarez)) Paris or London? - probably london, but id love to go to paris too

i tag @mariogolmez @jujudraxler @bouzinov

omg but don’t feel like you have to do it i just needed people to tag who seemed like they’d be interested, i dont want to be annoying!!!

soz if the formatting is dodgy too im on mobile

[wildflowerfiction77]

Burning Bridges 1

Burning Bridges

By Daniel Vera

8/23/2019 8:41pm

 A Story

A story of revelation.  A story of Heaven and Hell.  A story of love and fate.  A story of truth and fame.  A story of lies and pain.  A story of real and fake.  A story of lose and gain.  A story of friends and music.  A story of betrayal and death.  A story of the entire world and one mind.  A story of Hollywood and a story of forgotten people.  A story of rolled dice.  A story of lost love or never real.  A story of family decimated.  A story of a hidden treasure at the bottom of the sea.  A story of pyramids.  A story of ancient myth.  A story of future visions.  A story of spirits and man.  A story of warring armies.  A story of blank checks with no pen.  A story of a burning buildings in New York.  A story of gangs and government.  A story of black holes in Hollywood.  A story of hidden cameras and naked actors.  A story of Atlantis.  A story of superheroes.  A story of vampires and zombies.  A story of Bruce Lee and Nazi America.  A story of dead poets.  A story of songs sung by Mozart and Taylor Swift.  A story of the Military, CIA and MK Ultra.  A story of cartoons and rap music.  A story from a galaxy far far away.  A story of approaching comets.  A story of 33.  A story of black and white.  A story of Red Skins.  A story of nuclear war.  A story of blue water in the sky.  A story of James Bond and Gilbert Grape.  A story of TV commercials.  A story of fat kids.  A story of ninjas and samurai.  A story of rebellion and anarchy.  A story of dragons and phoenix.  A never ending story.  White tigers and black turtles.  Buffalo women and tobacco.  Hummingbirds and Butterflies.  Flowers and Hearts.  Stars and Sky.  Earth and Moon.  Dreams and walking...

 Dreams

I awoke in my pajamas.  It was a normal day like any other day.  I had 15 days to make $500 to pay the rent.  I had an ex girlfriend that butt dialed me while she was partying.  I listened for around ten minutes to see if I could hear if she was with a guy or having sex.  I couldn’t tell and so I hung up the phone.  I hated her because my heart felt pain every time I though of her with someone else and I knew she didn’t deserve it.  I guess it might have been the times that there was a genuine love that was being created, like the countless hours of laying in bed and staring at each others eyes while sharing kisses and caressing fingertips.  Or the unexpected gifts to encourage me to become a stronger man.  The late night fights where I sat at the locked bedroom door pleading to be let in, while she wept in bed because she got jealous of another woman she thought I was staring at when we went shopping.  Or the years of waking up next to her as the sunlight broke through the curtains and staring at her sleeping with a golden light shinning on her brown skin. red lips and black messy hair.  Or the times my arm fell asleep underneath her head as we cuddled for as long as possible until we had to readjust to find a diagonal leg and arm pattern, still crossing touch.  Then I thought about all the times she destroyed my heart and continued my day. 

I began walking on the air to meet with God.  We had scheduled a few meetings.  The great creator always knew I would be late.  I guess God knew me pretty well and adjusted time itself to add the twenty minutes for me to catch the 9:14 cloud.  On this day we talked about the meaning of struggle.  I had been having this reoccurring dream about being crushed by wave after wave in the ocean, and not being able to catch my breath.  God reassured me that the waves were meant to strengthen me and that I wouldn’t drown.  Although it was somewhat comforting to hear, I rebutted that the dream felt real and it was causing me stress.  I had felt that the waves were unneeded and they were keeping me from being able to recover from previous ailments that I was still healing from.  God just smiled and looked at me with grace.  When I left the office I was thinking of some toast and jam, since I had forgotten to eat before I left.  I did thank the Great Spirit that gives life and did say some prayers before scheduling a meeting a few months later and commenting on the beautiful flowers to the secretary.  It was a good meeting.

I then proceeded to fighting monsters and saving damsels.  I thought I was doing pretty good.  It was almost like living in a movie, where you get to be Conan.  But I didn’t realize it was all the parts where he was being held captive, being tricked or stuck in a room full of mirrors.  So I turned the channel to see if I could find out another version of the same story that was a little more modern.  That's when the television went static and I started howling with the old mystics from the Dark Crystal.  I had fallen asleep to that movie, and somehow I was joining in the call to gather the ones that were left to make the journey.  I thought it was just a happenstance, until the small town started to share a video that someone had recorded, until it became the new thing.  They made a dance, a soft drink, a Netflix show, chicken and pizza commercials, the next 5 years of billion dollars movies, including Star Wars, was about it.  They even started bombing countries and making new religions.  It was crazy.  There wasn’t a TV or movie screen that it wasn’t on every five minutes for years.  I even saw it on Facebook.

Then they the military started burning the forest to sell lemonade and electric cars that still used oil and nuclear power.  This is when I knew something was going on.  Then a bunch of ex presidents started appearing in Kanye West videos and Quentin Tarantino movies with “kiss me, I am Jewish” stickers on their foreheads.  This is when I knew things were getting out of control of even the CIA.  The girl scouts started selling machine guns to the homeless.  The TV news people were smoking joints, eating hot dogs and advertising “Shamoo”.  The comedians began making signs to love one another and became civil rights politicians and activists.  They didn’t say any good jokes though.  I’m not sure why, but the politicians began making everyone laugh.  It was a circus that was only topped by Silicon Valley taking Ubers to Outer Space.  They said they were going to mars, but they took too much LSD and ended up going too far, and circled back to China, not knowing it was a parallel universe and they were lost.  Meanwhile on earth, the Patriots won another Superbowl which made ten in a row.  Everyone dressed in Captain America costumes during a white rappers reunion, singing country songs with the Spice Girls paying tribute to all the musicians that were killed in the last seven years.  It was a really long half time show.  Its still going on.  Kapernick has Snoop Dogg braiding his hair while they start a venture capital business with Donald Trump and Kevin Spacey for a Martha Stuart line of hemp products at Walmart.  The hemp is really Monsanto bio engineered, but they figure they’re burning down the Amazon in Brazil, no one will notice.  

So I turned off the TV and ate some waffles.  My ex girlfriend left some blueberries in the freezer, so I used those with some peanut butter and jam and butter.  As I started eating the five stack, I saw something moving out my window.  I saw Miley Cyrus twerking on the front lawn.  I looked at the waffles and thought maybe there was something weird in the ingredients.  Then George Bush, the CIA guy, was dancing with her and I knew the waffles had some weird shit going on, so I threw them in the garbage.  Fucken ruined my breakfast.  Every five minutes I looked out the front window to see if they had left, and sure enough, they were still there, except they would change faces.  Next was the Rock and Scarlette Johanson, then Bill Gates and the Queen of England, then the White Stripes.  I thought it might have been the blueberries.  She said she ordered them from Ashton Kusheten, and that dush liked to play jokes on people, and started doing Bruce Willies wife, so I figured that was it.  They must have been laced with something.  I took a nap till they wore off.  

The next day I was able to make it to the car without anything super weird happening.  Someone did steal my Bruce Lee movies and my kids toys from the car.  I must have left the window open.  I knocked door to door around the neighborhood to ask if anyone had seen anything weird, other than Miley Cyris.  It dawned on me that I never spoke to any of my neighbors for the five years I had lived in the house.  The first house was a bunch of cats sitting around a living room.  They were doing yoga and smoking huka, so everything they said sounded like cats fighting underwater.  I didn’t get any answers.  The next house was three little pigs and a wolf.  They were watching the news and eating cereal.  They said they had just moved in and didn’t see anything.  It was peculiar that they had a giant poster of me in their kitchen.  I figured they must be fans.  They smelled like weed.  Every house had some fairytale vibe to it, or a Disney cartoon.  Squirrels, Vikings, Revenge of the Nerds, even a Steven King house.  The last one was a Dukes of Hazard reunion.  They were cooking burgers on the bar b que, and they were nice enough to have the girl in Daisy Dukes make me a quarter pounder with cheese.  We started seeing each other.  I called her when I got horny and she would come over.  I still didn’t find my stolen stuff.  I figured Karma would make the rounds.  

When I drove away, I started seeing smoke.  I wasn’t sure where it was coming from.  It didn’t seem to be originating from the car, so I started looking around.  Planes were flying past me and leaving these trails of smoke, but that wasn’t it.  I looked in my rear view mirror and saw burning bridges across the whole country.  That's when I knew who stole my Bruce Lee movies.  

  Meat and Cattle

 In a long dark cavern, I saw a few faces staring in front of sunlight, casting shadows like dancing puppets.  They had orders to submerge me into submission, by who, I wasn’t sure.  During that time, there was a lot of turmoil happening in the world and in the small town in which I was living.  It seemed that the local white power groups were stock pilling machine guns and ammunition.  They would have weekly fight club gatherings in the mountains and practice military drills to kill “niggers, Jews and spics”, and now the Chinese and Russians.  I guess they were Irish and Scottish, but probably a mixed breed of good ol’ boys.  

I’m not sure how “the gays” became part of the picture, but they arrived in droves.  They all gathered at Duff Tavern, a place in the Simpsons cartoon.  It was absolutely insane.  Along with the Trans community, there were hipsters, hopsters, fibsters, and mobsters.  Not to mention, some pretty hot women in the form of pixies and catholic nuns.  On the jukebox was Rage Against the Machine, because sometimes I would hack the airwaves, just to annoy the patrons.  The Clamsters would stand watch outside while the Bob Dylan look a likes would secretly grow weed and sell it to Colorado, Texas and New York.  They had a good set up going.  They would smuggle pounds of grass in their beards.  When asked why their beard was green by the police or FBI, all they would have to say is it was an Irish thing.  It seemed to work.  

But after a few years, the government went in and started replacing some of the farms with robots.  The robots would answer to the Matrix and all was well for a while.  I noticed this because I lived in the small town and would often have art shows and play music with the other monkeys.  Sometimes on the news they would televise a social order black ops operation.  In the war of the weeds, all the multi-armed gangs would hide in the mountains behind trees and rocks.  They would shoot at each other just to make sure no one was stealing their crops.  The cops didn’t mind, since they would get a part of the profit, and sometimes the whole thing, depending on orders from the FBI, and ultimately the CIA and Homeland Security.  

They would cut up a cow and leave it hanging upside down to attract the wolves.  They caught a lot of wolves that way and turned them into guard dogs.  The cats had to be more careful since they were house cats, and not the Lions they wanted to be.  Some of them thought they were Tigers, but that was just something on TV.  It was a long summer.  Everyone was waiting for 2012 and aliens.  They would give palm readings and read the cards on your forehead to make sure you were a monkey.  God forbid you might be Godzilla.  That would mean you were Japanese and those nips tried to bomb Pearl Harbor in a movie made by Steven Spielberg in the 80’s.  

The new threat in Los Angels was the threat of the Mexicans and particularly, the Zapatistas.  So the U. S. planted a tariff on marijuana distribution.  Although they needed the plant to help with cancer and injured vets brains, they had to make sure they could use that extra money for more robots.  They started pumping all that money into Silicon Valley and I Phones.  They needed to make sure Facebook would convince people that everyday is business as usual.  No one can have a new thought, it would counter balance the already shaky control system that sat upon fake money.  So to go with the fake money, they created fake news, fake wars, fake presidents, fake jobs, fake laws, fake food, fake causes, fake movies, fake soap operas, fake drugs, fake toilets, fake videos, fake people on the internet, fake names to go with those people, fake gang wars, fake drug busts, fake homeless people, fake housing crisis, fake TMZ news, fake Kanye, fake cake, fake husbands and wives, fake kids, fake Wall Street, and fake music.  Along with those fakory items, they made fake laws and juried trials.  I saw a documentary on Netflix.  It could have been fake.  

  The Cafe

 I would go to the cafe daily.  It was like a meditation.  Sometimes I would play music there, sometimes I would draw.  I always noticed the same faces.  Once in a while, a gorgeous red head or brunette would come sit at my table and flirt with me over a mocha.  At this time I was through with blonds, kinda like Arnolds’ “Total Recall” movie.  It was a good five years.  I never had so many Red Sparrows fly to my window at once.  I was a greedy kid at the ice cream shop, so I tried all the flavors.  This town was a small concentrated town, so I didn’t know they were connected to all the gangs in the world.  I didn’t know that they have been hunting savages for generations, and they had marked me as soon as I grew some pubic hairs.  They already had submitted my parents and were working on the rest of the Wu Tang Clan.  So when I found out, I tried to warn everyone, but it was too late, they had already turned or were captured.  The Cladavors had used Aliens to possess each other and play role playing games to kill the time.  

They did pay well, from all that weed and coke money.  They gave my ex boat rides and free soda.  They even gave all of the Clan free weed fields and free cars and houses.  But really, they had to do a lot of favors in return, like video tape me having sex with gorgeous women and then they would make fake porn and put it on the fake dark web.  The pink clampers liked to watch those between football games and CSI.  They made a lot of money from those as well.  Meanwhile, I was figuring out what kind of mocha I wanted.  I wrote a lot of letters during that time and finished a lot of paintings.  I learned how to sing, and practiced on my mating skills.  Every time I would walk outside, I saw five clams and three turtle doves.  My stomach hurt a few times, but the Doctor reassured me that I was fine and had nothing to worry about.  So I kept eating ice cream, since it was free.  I got good at it, I could have won a contest or the Olympics.

But then my arch rival appeared in the form of my ex.  She got even better looking and I got fat from all the ice cream.  I was still practiced up, but she had some Kriptonite on me.  I didn’t realize she had been zombified as well.  I wasn’t sure if it was the same quirks or new ninja moves she was using on me.  One thing that was sure, was that she always won.  It frustrated me to the point of no return.  She kept coming back to me for more ice cream, but I refused to share.  I threw it in the freezer along with my heart.  When she stopped calling, I pulled my heart out, but it stayed cold for too long, and I had thought it died.  I put it in a vase and watered it every now and again.  Mostly just wrote poems about it.  

Eventually I stopped going to the cafe, since that was the place that I had met her.  I started making instant coffee, then started brewing my own from a used coffee machine that had a timer and automatic alarm clock built in.  Every time I would drink a special brew, I would remember the mocha’s we shared.  I would see pictures of her on Facebook once in awhile drinking mocha's with Asheton Klamster.  That really pissed me off.  Then she got the role as Wonder Woman.  It was like, “what the fuck?”  Fuckn Taylor Swift and Kanye, Miley and Mickey, Goons and Goblins, Jews and Gentiles, Obama and Trump, Star Wars and Dumpsters, Guns and Weed.  All I needed now was my family to turn on me and the Government to MK Ultra me.  I saw Bluebirds in the midst of Project Damn Daniel.  It was astounding.  It was almost like they had watched the Dark Crystal too.  

They got me on the run, and then I saw Kapernick with an Afro.  I had thought he was Middle Eastern.  Then all of a sudden, blond people started showing up.  They were dancing naked everywhere I went.  I would go to the grocery store, and there they were.  I would go to the bank, and there they were.  I would go to the book store, and there they were.  At first I thought they were some kind of religious group, then I concluded that they were a rock band in a video game.  I had saw it advertised on a commercial a few years prior.  It was a game from MK Tupac.  I had read it in a New World Order book from the early 1900’s.  Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud co-wrote it.  That’s when my brother called me to ask me how I was doing.

The only answer I had was “How the fuck do you think I’m doing?”  Then my first ex called to tell me she’s having another baby and if I wanted to co-sign for a new car.  I was like, “Bitch, I haven’t seen you since the 1800’s, how the fuck does your ghetto ass want a co-signer after you stole my sperm in 97 and then stole my life in 99?”  Needless to say, I co-signed.  I thought it was for the kid, but I think she got her nails did.  

  The Science

 It was a virtual video game and everyone wanted to play.  It was one of those soldier games where everyone is a shooter.  I had thought I had seen my brother in a bunker with a gunshot wound to his side.  He was bleeding.  He was drinking with his Clamster buddies, and they had asked if I wanted to play some football that weekend.  Since we were in a video game, I figured sure, why not.  While drinking a Natty Ice and smoking a cigarette, he asked how to defeat all the white men.  I looked at him, and wondered why he was drinking and smoking while bleeding on the rented floor.  I figured he had marital problems, he was in a slump and the locals must have been fucking with him.  I contemplated the question, and from the years of slavery and genocide, I didn’t really see a scenario that they would recede control of the area, America or stop their plans for world domination.  So I told him I don’t know.  It was a confounding question since his wife and his kids and his friends were white.

So his buddies were usually missing some teeth from some Oroville days.  I had known them for some time, so when playing football, I didn’t think much of it.  It did piss me off that they didn’t throw me the ball and kept me on defense.  I still disrupted most of the plays.  They just liked to throw interceptions.  They asked me if I wanted to be a bad guy in one of their movie projects that they were conjuring up.  Since I knew these guys had almost zero talent for movie making, I kindly agreed, if they did all the work.  They proposed some Star Trek and I proposed some Twilight Zone.  They proposed a Batman spin where the bad guys would be sitting at the table.  I figured I was Batman, so I’m not sure that would work out for me, unless I beat their face in at the end of the card game.  I guess my brother played the Joker.  

So I drove away, and then the game turned into Mad Max, Fury Road.  I guess Northern California wanted to keep the water, and Southern California didn’t like the country people and they wanted the water.  Everyone started throwing fire bombs at each other, it got crazy.  So the South paid off some ”official” people with the Damn money, and they shared the water with the weed growers and Mothers Milk.  All the gangs lived happily ever after, including the military and Hollywood, which we all know, are the most important gangs in California.  They eventually brought Donald Trump to rake and threw fake Rambo in military prison for trying to start a rebellion, which was actually a sting to begin with.  It was a complicated video game on story mode.  Most people just like to play on vs. Mode.  

I only rented the game, so I didn’t really play it, everyone I knew loved it and bought it.  I guess the marijuana dispensaries were selling it along with cookies.  I would rather spend my time watching Netflix and watch some Daredevil or Breaking Bad.  Those were some epic shows.  I used to just watch the Documentaries, but ever since I bought a subscription, I like the dramas.  It always begs the question, does art reflect real life, or does real life reflect art.  Sometimes I think to myself, when I notice the panic attack people have in the world around me, how could everyone not notice how much we believe other people to be better than us.  How much we fear other people to be better than us.  How groups of people feel threatened by others greatness, and that they don’t take the time to nurture their own greatness.  In a hysteria to feel loved and be seen in a crowded world, we try and find the flaws of the others around us to lift ourselves up.  Flowers fighting for sunlight.  Animals fighting for food and water.  Instead we are water and lightning.  We are the light.  

It makes me reminisce on the struggle of the waves crashing.  I find the breath I need in the moments between the struggle.  If I panic, I miss those moments while fighting against the ocean.  If I don’t panic, I am able to breath steadily and find the least resistance without drowning.  And if I live to tell the story, what else would a story need but you to tell it.  How many stories have saved your life?  How many stories gave you strength to carry on?  How many stories have let you share in the tragedies and triumphs of another?  Stories that made you laugh and cry, ones that you have learned from and ones that didn’t make sense till years later.  To play the video game in story mode or just in versus?  I personally like to write my own story.