#I FEEL SONMUCH BETTER

[voltrons]

how it feels to no longer be succumbing to vestibular illness!!!!!!!!

[box-dwelling]

OK so I am like a day past completing the Ansur dungeon and it's been enough time to let my thoughts on it settle. Spoilers ahead.

For context, first playthrough with a basic tav. I'm a good way through act three and have finished a few of the pc quest lines. Minsc, Jaheria and Astarion are done. I have yet to get the hammer or do the house of grief but I have done sorcerers sundries. Also I haven't refused Ulder yet but it like the next thing I'm doing. Other context is that dnd is a huge special interest of mine. I've been playing for about 7 years straight. Both dming and as pcs and I have played under professional dms before. This does affect how I view the game but it's mostly postively.

Disclaimer, I haven't finished the game so there may be some stuff that ends up being done that I just haven't seen but the quest line says it's over and from what I've read online it doesn't seem like that's the case so.

So let's start off with the pros because I honestly have less to say there

As a dm I can and always do look at the dungeon design. Larian is genuinely really really good at this, and this dungeon is no exception. I loved the puzzles though a few could use some tweaking. They arent all great. But there's ideas there that I will probably introduce in my games some time. A chess puzzle especially is such a great idea. That was so cool and the fact bring gale along means you can get the answer free I'd you don't play chess makes perfect sense. Genuinely great.

I also liked the visual design. I had expected the appearance to be what I was starting to dub in my head as the "character development dungeon aesthetic " given that really in terms of design and function cazadors dungeon, the gauntlet of shar and the sorcerers sundries vaults are very very similar. But this one wasn't and I'm very happy about that. Give me some variety.

The Ansur fight itself, AMAZING. Great boss battle. I loved the hell out of it. I'd have to dig into the code to properly tell but it looked like they used a varient of the colossus fighting rules which while I've actually never run but I have been at tables where it has been run to incredible effect. They're good rules. I'm glad to see them used. It honestly makes me consider running them myself.

Last pro, on the face of it, I like the idea. I like the concept of wylls character development dungeon being about learning about the tenants of being a hero from one he looked up to. That tracks. It's a good place to take his charcater at least in theory.

As for the cons, it's mostly one but it's also a big one that has majorly pissed me off. Because Wyll is in my joint top 3 for favourite characters and they did him so fucking dirty.

I really really hated how they handled the twist with the Emperor. I don't dislike him as a charcater but I think it's at least to me pretty unambiguous that he's a pretty shady and morally grey charcater. Which is fine. In fact, it's actually a pretty interesting way to take Wyll's arc. That he looked up to this hero, internalised his mindset through the chambers and then learns that he was actually a pretty shady morally complex figure that doesn't live up to wylls expectation, that is a GOLD mine of character development. That is absolutely fascinating. Except, it doesn't do that. He barely even comments on it. Just says he's forged into a new hero by the trials while ignoring the person who set them is the very shady figure who has honestly fucked us over a lot.

You know who's another hero wyll probably looked up to? Minsc! And the Emperor is a real fucking bitch about letting him join the party.

This is compounded by the fact his good/bad ending choice rather than being a slow build up like everyone else where they get tempted by power and then have to turn it away, he instead just says "hey I could become grand duke" out of no where and then doesn't even need a persuasion check to get talked out of it like everyone else does.

So, I would be remiss without giving a way I'd fix it. So here is that.

Th ansur dungeon isn't given to us by florrick in the lower city. It's given somewhere else before you get there.

I'd recommend like, it being in a book or something in Wyrms crossing. The location is tied to wyll anyway. Maybe add in his childhood bedroom that he asks to go visit. You can put in some environmental storytelling telling that can expand on his complicated relationship ulder. Maybe the room is bordered up and untouched but when you get inside there evidence of genuine love.

When you get there you get the story of ansurs legend and wyll becomes obsessed with using this as a way to help save the city.

The ansur dungeon then gets basically left untouched. Twist and all.

But at the end of it, rather than just deciding he's going to become grand duke, it becomes a question. He can't become grand duke while Ulder is alive. And Bauldrian the great adventurer became a politician after wards. Give the Emperor a reason to not want ulder alive. Maybe Ulder risks not being able to defeat the elder brain in some way, and tie it into his reaction to Wyll taking a deal with Mizora.

Wyll is now conflicted. If his father dies he can carry on in both his and Bauldrans footsteps. Ulder left his child in command of an army before he was an adult. Can he really be trusted to take care of the city? Of course wyll loves him and of course wyll wants to save him but there's that doubt there. I have been reforged in to bauldarns heir. I could do a better job. I could save more people. He abandoned me. Why should I save him? If he breaks his pact this is also fed into by the fact it puts him at very active threat from mizora. It's not that prevelant. Wyll is wyll he's not that susceptible to corruption but a little bit of doubt, coaxed on by the Emperor is all he needs.

Then the lower city.

Make sure you have to get minsc before continuing his quest line. Have wyll have a reaction to the Emperor 's distrust of minsc. These are two of his childhood hero's fighting. Play that up for some drama.

Then saving ulder becomes the thing that either makes him the blade of avernus or the grand duke. He can either choose to not save his father, take on the title of grand duke and rule the city following in baulderans footsteps or, he can kill mizora and swear his life to killing demons as a the blade of avernus. . Later becoming a ranger just like minsc. Even give minsc a few lines giving him a pep talk about it. Maybe even having him explain that wyll need to be his own kind of hero taking the infulances he has from the past and learning from them to become a better one. If the pact stays he just remains the blade of the frontiers if he saves ulder but can become grand duke if he doesnt.

Then, have ulder apologise and then reconcile. Have wyll learn to actually recognise his father as a flawed man who hurt him but who is also complex. Maybe even have an option for if he chooses to fully reconnect their relationship or not.

The bones of a really really really good story are here. Please, for the love of God, larian actually tell it.

[sixosix]

can you do an aether x reader lil one shot please!!! my baby gets no love ;( I'm fine with any story or plot but maybe one where they've been travel buddies for a while and his feelings have just been bottled up over time and he just explodes in to a confession and then some cute fluff from there!!!!!!

a/n wc 1.6k there are tears in my eyes as i write this i love aether sonmuch. also sorry if this is all over the place i was trying so hard not to turn it into another 10k word fic…. ft. lyney

aether doesn’t vividly recall the moment his feelings blossomed. there was no pinpointed moment, only all of it growing restless inside him.

he likes to keep his team to four people maximum, oftentimes none at all—just him and paimon to worry about as they move from region to region, friends made yet no proper strings attached. it’s for everyone’s sake, as aether doesn’t plan on staying too long in one place. that’s how it should’ve been.

you appeared one day, demanding to take you in his team. just for liyue and then you can separate ways, you said.

“i’m visiting my awfully quiet lover to break his silence. i need to figure out why i’ve stopped receiving letters,” you explained, blinding him with your bigger-than-life personality.

and because aether is a weak, weak man to people who don’t know how to back down, he agreed, albeit hesitantly. “alright,” he said in defeat. “just liyue?”

“just liyue,” you affirmed, beaming as he’s accepted you probably easier than you expected.

just liyue is a lie, and he should’ve known it the moment he had to confirm it. he didn’t bother with formal introductions and keeping conversations, knowing he wouldn’t see you again anyway. it didn’t help that paimon adores you, expressing her loud disappointment when you have to part ways with them.

paimon floated lower than usual. aether sighed. “should’ve known you’d grow to love someone who spoils you with sweet madame more than me.”

“hmph! y/n’s nicer to paimon than you!”

but he does see you again some time later, facing a large tree, kicking it out of frustration. it’s pouring heavily; your clothes are soaked.

“am i scary?” you asked when aether and paimon approached you, staring ahead, fists trembling.

“what’s wrong?! did something bad happen?” paimon fluttered around you nervously, unsure if she could touch you.

“he’s not dead, at least,” you said bitterly. “just too cowardly to tell me that he doesn’t love me anymore. i suppose it was better breaking up face-to-face than through letters.” you sighed bitterly, shoulders hiked up to your ears as a fresh wave of quiet tears washed over you, muted by the rain. “this is embarrassing, getting dumped because i was too much.”

“it’s not. you came all the way from mondstadt just to see him. didn’t he at least care about that?” aether asked, which might’ve just been his longest sentence yet. why were you out here soaking? if it were him, he wouldn’t have been so rude to leave you astray during a thunderstorm.

“i can’t force him, if he doesn’t want to see me. i’ll be alright, i promise.” you rest your forehead against the bark of the tree, water sliding off your cheeks—aether isn’t sure if it’s the rain or your tears.

he understands, possibly more than anyone.

and aether—still a weak, weak man when it came to people breaking down in front of him, knowing what it’s like to lose someone so dear to you—gently says, “xiangling told us there’s an event holding place here later. you’re coming with us.”

just liyue was already a warning in itself that it would never be just as that.

you weave yourself in his life as if you were always there, fitting in like you haven’t met him and paimon just a few days ago. he tries to convince himself that he’s doing this to cheer you up, but you’ve been making him smile more than they do to you.

he would turn to his side and see you feeding him a chicken-mushroom skewer after a short battle, insisting even when aether says he’s not as injured as you may think. he would turn to his side and see you and paimon laughing over something he missed and find himself grinning as well.

he would turn to his side when you tug on his sleeve, shyly asking if he’s willing to take you to inazuma as well because you didn’t want to stay in liyue if they weren’t here anymore.

“sure,” aether would say. he’s a weak man, and you were holding on to his cape, looking so adorable that aether wanted to melt on the spot. but that’s a normal reaction to cute things, probably.

taking you to inazuma turns into bringing you along to sumeru, then eventually fontaine, until everyone is convinced you’re a staple in aether’s adventures: aether, paimon, and y/n.

this is what it’s like to have a good team, aether persuades himself. a good team, a useful asset, aether reminds himself sternly as you slice a ruin cruiser off of existence with fierce anger in your eyes and a stick of tricolor dango in your mouth. you wave at him after, beaming, and his heart does something weird.

and now, when some of his friends suggest that he lays you off even just for a day so he can have three other people who work together seamlessly with him, he dismisses it quickly—without thinking. he already works best with you by his side. if they want to come along with him, they have to accept they’re coming along with you just as well.

“thanks for letting me join you,” you whisper one night, lying on the grass and watching the stars with him. you turn your head and meet his eyes, smiling softly.

“of course,” aether says. of course, because now he can’t imagine what it’s like to not have you with him. “i’m the only one who can handle how scary you are.”

you scoff, gently punching his arm as he laughs. “shut up, idiot. you know what i mean.”

i know, aether wants to say. but would that be too much? aether doesn’t want you to think he’s trying to replace someone important in your life this quickly.

you are scary. you’re terrifying him with all these unwanted feelings he doesn’t know what to do with. but aether wasn’t lying, either—he can handle fear just as well.

and now, as aether watches lyney grin and kiss the back of your palm, aether’s chest burns with something unpleasant, sitting in his stomach and urging him to take action. a rock under his shoe. he does not like it, not one bit.

“uhh,” paimon shifts nervously mid-air. “paimon thinks you should stop glaring daggers into lyney before he notices.”

“glaring daggers? i’m not glaring daggers,” aether hisses. his fingers are starting to ache with how painfully he’s clutching his sword. “no daggers here…” he curses as he watches you grow increasingly flustered.

the sight startles him. not your expression, not lyney’s clear provocation, but aether’s stance towards it.

“i thought we’re friends with lyney again?” paimon asks, terribly confused.

“the best of friends,” aether says, marching over to the scene. paimon makes a disbelieving noise.

lyney smirks knowingly as aether gently tugs on your arm. “oh,” lyney says, all sly, more of a fox than a cat, “i didn’t know you were already spoken for. i do apologize for the misunderstanding.”

you glance between an amused lyney and an irked aether, dazed. “i’m not…?”

“your jealous boyfriend says otherwise,” lyney snorts as aether bristles.

aether glares heatedly at lyney, even as the latter backs away with a smug grin. “y/n, let’s go. there’s nothing else to do here.” he’s being rude. he doesn’t care. his mind is blank—or maybe it’s running miles per minute, and he struggles to keep up.

and because you always listen to aether, you let him drag you off, nearly failing to wave goodbye to a chuckling lyney. lyney calls for paimon, distracting her as aether continues walking away from the scene.

you turn to aether, barely able to keep up with his hurried steps. “whoa, whoa, hey, aether—aether, are you okay? your face is so red.” you touch his cheek, and he crumbles. “aether.”

he halts, frowning at the ground. frustrated.

“aether, is there something wrong?”

that’s the thing. aether doesn’t know what’s wrong. he was content with watching you from afar—content with your stars slowly aligning with his as he stands back and watches it happen. he was content with not doing anything about it. but not doing anything about it would mean everyone else thinks you haven’t got aether wrapped around your finger.

“sorry,” aether says. to the painful beating of his heart, restless with unexplained fury. “i didn’t—”

“…idiot.” you always tell him that. you’re the only one who calls him that, but he knows that were they to try, he wouldn’t let it slide so easily. “it’s okay to admit you’re jealous. it’s cute.”

it is not lyney’s flirtations that tip aether over; it’s the sweet smile you give him, the gentleness of your gaze, and your face so close to aether’s that you and him share the same breath. what tips him over is all of it crashing down on him, as daunting as a fight, as abrupt as the beat of his heart:

oh. oh. is that it?

aether doesn’t vividly recall the moment you wormed your way in. maybe it was the moment you jumped down from a tree branch and scared the wits out of paimon, only to demand nervously he take you. maybe it was the moment he softens when your shoulders shake and rain pours relentlessly overhead. maybe it was the stab of jealousy seeing someone else try to steal you away from him when you so obviously belong to him as he belongs to you.

it doesn’t matter.

“i want you,” aether says, then blinks when you do a startled take. “no—no. i mean. i… like you. and i want you to stay. here. not with them. not anyone else.”

“stay right in front of you?”

“in front, beside—doesn’t matter.” aether grows weak, limp as he presses his forehead against yours. “i just want you.”

“okay,” you smile, tipping your chin to kiss his cheek. his heart soars. “that’s all i needed to hear.”

[unlocklist]

I jus had a dream I was top Zelda OoT speed runner for US on emulator and as I was trying to replicate my run live a spider fell from the ceiling onto my controller and I woke up in a panic

[dearloverswift]

LOVER first impressions!!!!

I forgot that you existed: THIS IS CUTE. LIKE CUTE CUTE.

Cruel summer: my fav. A bop. Should have been the lead single. Gonna repeat it like 5 times before continuing the album.

The Man: the power. the power. the power. she went all out and I’m all here foWAIT DID SHE SAY BITCH DID SHE SAY BICT€????????

I think he knows: « Hes so obsessed with me and boy I understand » LMAOO i like it. Not the best but radio-worthy.

Miss americana: Coup de coeur. I love it so much. The depth, the melody. I can feel this is gonna be so underrated, the DWOHT of Lover.

Paper rings: OH i didnt expect this kind of melody!!!! I thought this was gonna be a slow song but I’m here for this. Showcases being in love in such a fun way and so SINGLE WORTHY. deserves a music video.

Cornelia street: I’m cryinf Shes so in love my baby protect her and joe at all costs🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Death by a thousand cuts: the lyrics cut glass. this could have been a slower song. « I get drunk but its not enough » « Trying to find a part of me that you didnt touch »

London boy: THIS SONG IS MORE ABOUT ENGLAND THAN JOE IM SCREAMING SHES RECITING EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT LONDON « like a Tennessee Stella McCartney » YAS. Cute but not my fav.

Soon you’ll get better: I’m cryinf i cried as soon as she sang the first verse. I lovr her sonmuch jm so sorry

False God: I love this. I’m so relieved bc I thought this would be a sort of diss track, but its beautiful. Love the melody, and the way she seems to just talk sometimes instead of really singing. Love love love.

Afterglow: the song is fire and water, so calm yet so fierce. Definitely on repeat, perfect for the « its complicated », the stage just before or just after a breakup.

It’s nice to have a friend: cute. Maybe the one I’m less attracted to on the album.

Daylight: reflets the whole album and era in a perfect way. Its so « whole » as a song. I ONCE BELIEVED LOVE WOULD BE BURNING RED BUT ITS GOLDEN. the fact that Taylor wrote this by herself makes it even more important. Perfect for an ending. « you are what you love. »

[celebellysfantrolls]

I HAVE AWAKEN

[tumblunni]

Oh and just to clarify that the long time it took for me to get this surgery isnt a sign the nhs is bad or anything! I just had complications due to my life situation. Cos of my autism and anxiety i REALLY REALLY cant cope with having surgery done on me while im awake, even if im numbed up. The panic reaction is so strong and involuntary that i cant stop shaking and risk messing up the surgery becaue of it, not to mention the chamce of doing worse damage to myself in a panic attack. So i had to specifically be sent to the main hospital and receive overnight anesthetic, and i had to have a longer stay than usual because i live alone with no parents or lifr partner who could watch over me during my recovery. So the actual surgery itself just took three hours and the worst part was the anxiety of having to wait about 18 more hours in a busy hospital feeling perfectly fine but unable to go home until the observation period had passed and also til i was able to get a lift home with my psychologist. I am SO grateful she was able to support me with this!! So yeah i basically had to have the ultra deluxe complicated version of the regular surgery which also had to correlate with a time my psychologist would be free, and thats why ut was hard for them to find a time to schedule it. And most of the waiting was initially because of me being a dumbass and being too afraid to tell anyone i was in pain and too afraid to go to the doctor. I think it must have been almost four years of that? And then it was just a two year wait of going thru pre-assessments and waiting for a time slot for this final full operation. Which is still a frustrating time to wait but i understand tat the circumstances made it difficukt and also this isnt really an emergency surgery so yeah. I was just making a lot of frustrated posts about it over the last few years cos the waiting PROCESS is really bad, yknow? You barely get any information on how long you have to wait, its just all left up in the air that it could be any time in the next year and yoy'll get a very short notice letter right when its about to happen and npthing else for months at a time. And the automated phone service is badly made and yeah basically just a bunch of lame decisions made by the accounting section of the company that ended up increasing my anxiety, lol.

But seriously id way rather have this than having "only if you can pay for it" surgery! I mean when i finally got there it was all SO amazing and hi tech and highly staffed and everyone was so nice and it was all so fast and efficient and really comfy and everyone made you feel at home and you got a private cubicle with a lockable door and free food like 5 times a day like holy shit they wouldnt stop giving me The Best Toast In The World and my throat hurt but i felt it woulf be impolute to not Honor Their Toastly Kindness! So many of my worries about the experience were totally unfounded dumb hollywood myths that dont happen at all in british hospitals. And they still manage to run such a well oiled machine of amazing professionals and above excellent patient service despite how bad our economy is right now! I overheard them talking about jow their budget is lower ths year and i was like "holy shit but you guys are so amazong?? How do you manage??" I cant even imagine what it must have been like back when doctors got better salaries! Seriously they just WOULD NOT STOP PAMPERING ME it was so WEIRD!!! Comfy adjustable beds and reclining super soft sofa and this whole personal room and people coming in with trolleys full of a wide selection of really damn amazing breakfast foods and they even gave you special comfort socks for the long time of bed rest to avoid ankle swelling and they were like friggin cinderella scene insisting on putting the socks on for you?? I felt so embarassed in the good way for once! Blushing cos it was total prince treatment! And none of that "oh drugs are so expensive you have to go without necessary medicine in order to pay the bills" shit, they kept offering me optional medicines thatd make every part of the surgery easier and were like "please dont worry about accepting them, its the government's job to make sure youre free of pain so just be honest if youre feeling bad". But seriously the surgery was all so swift and done with great precision and i had such kind care and warm drinks and SO MUCH JAM ON MY TOAST that i felt like my mouth was okay even without the extra painkiller dose. And then i expected id just have to buy my own paracetamol once i was discharged from surgery but they gave me a big box of extra strength jaw surgery specific paracetamol for free! All of this was free! I got free goddamn cosmetic reconstruction on my teeth that i never even asked for and i was like holy shit when i looked in the mirror lol. I just expected everything to be gone but they put this reconstructive cap thing to replace the front teeth just jn case i was worried about the appearance of the gap between them. And SO MUCH goddamn free food holy shit im so toasted out! And free tv and wifi and showers and a warm comfy sofa and just a nice day of chilling out in a very weird sort of luxury hotel, lol. And the gift shop was also super cheap and full of necessities! And the nurse was so kind that i was able to hand her the money and she went to the gift shop for me when i was too dizzy to walk. I needed new headphones cos mine broke on the way there, and she got me a staff discount on them and picked out the cutest best pair! UNICORN DRAGON PATTERN!! Im gonna keep them FOREVER holy shit they look so cool and for a £1 discount pack they have sonmuch better sound quality and noise cancellation than the more expensive ones i had before. And the whole gesture just really touched me, it cheered me up so much to have a giggle at some adorable fashion headphones and see my nurse jamming along to ed sheeran to test that they worked, and she was just so sassy and jokey and we even had a contest between all of the nurses comparing our silly socks! Seriously it was just SO welcoming and unscary and had a lot more privacy than i expected and a lot less heavy restrictions and stuff and jusy EVERYONE WAS SO NICE AND SO GOOD AT THEIR JOB and did i mention THE BEST TOAST EVER

So yeah i dont think im scared of hospitals anymore. And i feel guilty about all the panicky posts i made before i went in for this operation, i hope i didnt give anyone the wrong impression that i was some longknowing person making factual complaints about the nhs as opposed to a first time hospital visitor with anxiety who was imagining every possible way it could go wrong. Absolutely none of my fears happened and it was way nicer than i ever imagined! Im kinda looking forward to the followup appointment in 2 weeks just so i can say thank you again and also have more money to buy some spares of those good headphones from the gift shop.

I hope everyone else out there who has to deal with medical disasters gets doctors just as nice as these ones!!!

[jenoentry]

bro I’m such a fucking hyuck stan I want to UNALIVE MYSELF take responsibility alice

ok but ever since I saw the theme that it was hyuck and first date I KNEW u we’re gonna pull some cute banter type shit and u didn’t disappoint like I felt like I was watching a mini rom com with the quirky main interest, EXTREAKLTU HOT FUCKIGN MAIN HERO HOLY FUCK HYUCK RAIL ME SHOOT A PUCK UP MY PUSSY and the GAY friend who’s cheering the girl from the sidelines yfm

also not me thinking this was a markhyuck fic for a second bye

OKAY BUT HYUCKS PERSONALITY IS LITERALLY SO FIRE BECAUSE IT WAS TRULY LIKE SEEING HYUCK IN ACTION like u know how u use an idol but create an entirely different personality for them ?!?! I didn’t feel that at all here you truly morphed our boys personality into this fic AND I HATE U SO MUCH FOR IT GOD HYUCK I LOVE YOU MY PRECIOUS 💧👄💧

also this literally is his selling point y/n better fuck off cause THE CHEAPSKATES ARE ELITE ILL MAKE UR STUPID COFFEE FOR U HYUCK

ALSO NOT THIS ENTIRE FIC SLANDERING MEN 💀💀💀🤚🏼🤚🏼 AS IT SHOULD FUCK MEN AND THEIR MESSY ROOM TYPE MINDS men are so disappointing except hyuck hyuck u are the loml pls accept my number on ur terrible fucking order u fucking loser ily so mcucb ALKCE WHAT HAVE U DONE TO ME

THIS BIT MADE ME SCR R. E EAMMMM

I CANT BREATHE all this time I’m crushing on him when he prolly wanna fuck my mum instead 💔💔

OKAY BUT the whole non-date thing was so fucking cute cause the entire time none of them wanted to admit their attractions to each other without being funny about it and just G R R RR GR R R RJUSY SAY U WANNA FUCK EACH OTHER or kiss idk this is pg 🙄🙄🙄

AND THIS BIT GOD D D I SMILED SO HARD CAUSE ALL THIS TIME HE WAS PROVIDING THE MCS CONCERNS AND WISHES AND THEN TO FINALLY HAVE HIS DAY BE CALLED A DATE HE WAS SO HAPPY IM SO HAPPY GOD D 🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒

THE KIS S S;£:&3:&:93@ ALICE I MALFUNCTIONED IN SUXH A SOFT WAY I GOT MAJOR HEART BONERS GOD THERE WAS SONMUCH TENDERNESS AND U EXPECTED ME TO BE OKAY W IT ,£;&!::&: when will u let me kiss u like that 😐😐

ANYWAY FINAL NOTE IS THAT YOUVE MADE ME SUCH A HARD HYUCK ULT LIKE UR WRITING HAS THIS WAY OF STEERING ME TOWARDS ANOTHER MEMBER SO QUICKLU AND DEEPLY AHD JUST UGH 💧💧💧💧💧 ur fluff writing is insane ur banter ur one liners are PERFECT guess the vaccine caught the best of us 💔💔💔 now go fuck urself while I cry over this never forgiving u 😐❤️

the thing about dating

❝ well, it’s not every day a cute jock comes up to you during your shift and offers to walk you to your place. and, for the second time, this is not a date. ❞

PAIRING ▸ lee donghyuck x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ fluff, crack, strangers to lovers, college au 

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, hyuck is an architecture student and the star hockey player which is very attractive to me, barista!reader, this fic is not sponsored by Starbucks™, also ofc lots !! of fluff !! + one makeout scene

SUMMARY ▸ lee donghyuck’s method of flirting appeared to be ordering the most obscure drinks until you blew your fuse and agreed to go on a “not-date” with him.

PLAYLIST ▸ kiss me more by doja cat ft. sza • playboy by exo • yours by raiden ft. chanyeol, lee hi, changmo

WORD COUNT ▸ 7073 words

TAG LIST ▸ @geniejunn @junepops @keemburley @pewpewpwe00 @flower-lise @baekhyuns-lipchain @chezzontop @prettyjaems @ukiyoneo @hyuckswifey @kookings @chanluster @jaehy9ngs @jen0zen @jinnieyeolele​

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ happy 5 years with 127 day!! this fic is part of @renhyucks​’s “the first” collab and my installment is “the first date” ♡ pls check out the other authors if you’d like and i hope you enjoy!

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, YOU WERE PERFECTLY CONTENT WITH YOUR AVERAGE STARBUCKS JOB, WORKING AN AVERAGE SALARY TO PAY OFF YOUR AVERAGE COLLEGE TUITION.

Scratch that. Tuition prices had skyrocketed and you were working extra shifts to scrape up as much money as you could. There was nothing average about college tuition, you realized, and not even your four-hour evening shifts (five days a week, mind you) could completely cover the problem.

Life was simple. You woke up, attended your classes, studied, and then worked as a Starbucks barista until closing. Despite how plain that sounded, it wasn’t like the meaning of fun was foreign to you. You still treated yourself every now and then; going downtown with Huang Renjun, partying with Lee Jeno, and making fun of your coworker, Mark Lee.

You hadn’t expected your ordinary life to shift because of someone outside of your social circle. Everything that went on in the inner workings was to be expected; anything else outside of your circle was foreign territory you’d rather not deal with.

“You know my friend, Lee Donghyuck?” Mark once asked you out of nowhere. When you shook your head, he shuddered and added, “Maybe that’s a good thing.”

Mark’s eerie response left you with an unsettling feeling about this Donghyuck.

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[cloudystevie]

Hi baby girl I’m sorry your tummy isn’t feeling any better I wish I was there to lay with you and give you tummy rubs but I promise to come home today as soon as I can. I’ll probably have time to check in again in another few hours but for now just another reminder that I love you so much baby. I’m so proud of you and you’re so strong and you’re gonna get through this. I’ll be right here with you ever step of the way too baby don’t you worry. - ransom

hidsddy isokie tummyfeelsbegterthenfeelsbadagain i miss u so much hope ur having annokay day at work and not too stressful dada yhjakyou i lobs you sonmuch more daddy loves you so much so much

[stillwooozy]

I’m so fucking tired i need to... stop using all drugs. I need to quit, cold turkey. alcohol weed and nicotine especially. my trifecta. Xoxo the loves of my life. But jfc its not even them, I’m literally getting fucked up on whatever i can get my hands on every night. Rxs, ‘research chems’, indian blister packs, street pills with who-knows-what, analogs of everything and anything, stims stims and more stims. Doesnt matter how much I even LIKE a substance, i just HATE being sober. but like idk what needs to happen to make me stop - because Im functional!! Or at least, sufficently functional to exist as a human in this capitalist country. i suck at relationships - if u havent noticed - but if anything you can blame my rx antipsychotics for that? Or just my shitty personality. Who knows, i sure as hell don’t. will I have to have a heart attack or stroke or something to quit it??? Fuckkk. Ik the answer is suck it the hell up, get over yourself, and stop wasting your money and body on drugs. I’m not very motivated though. I’ve never “felt okay” or human or whatever, if I stop using I won’t really “feel” better. Like I don’t use 24/7, just daily lmao. I’m ALWAYS sober when I drive, at work, at school (minus online class but come on ofc I’m not sober online.) i do all my errands, take care of my dogs, reply to emails - all sober!! And then when my daily check list is complete, between 12-9pm (lets admit it tho, lately closer to 2-3) - i get as fucked up as I please. Go to bed at 12, wake up dehydrated and w/ a headache - pop my prescribed meds - and start the say all over again. It sucks. I don’t LIKE it. But it works? I hate that it works for me. I kinda wish i got sucked down a rabbit hole of homeless meth or heroin addiction, so i have the opprotunity to SEE “yeah this doesnt work” and be forced to quit. Maybe i’ll get there. I dont think so tho, most likely i’ll just become a functional, inconspicious full-blown alcoholic who dies at 40 yrs old because of liver failure. Thats my life for ya. I’m on the brink of calling my ex and just asking her to make a suicide pact with me or some bullshit - idk why this hurt me sonmuch. Its not even MY fault we broke up - right?? Idk. She has her own issues. Don’t we all.

[captainbragd-personal]

We had like 30 ish guests today and wow thats nothing. But yesterday we had 77 and that used to be stressful at the last place but here its chill as hell ^^ cus everything is sonmuch better laidnout and prepared, i feel like the team has got my back c:

[pittakosha]

I remember

I remember the times we fought, especially the times it got worse that I wanted to leave and just drop it all. But I never did because giving up was never in my vocabulary. No matter how worse it got, I didn't. I remember the time you actually ended it with for the first time and I felt like the whole world sank deep, I froze crying on my way to Buffalo on A Megabus thinking this is not true. Thinking I could do something so I did and fought for it. I remember begging you to just talk with me but in hindsight I had a plan. I remember driving at englewood For two hours looking for your car just to drop a bouquet of roses because you said once that they weee your favorite. I remember weeks ago before the breakup happened I asked your bestfriend what I could do for you to make you feel more special. I remember you coming to my place and preparing all the flowers, roses, chicken nuggets and a picture of us thinking maybe you might take me back. I remember you entering the door and I surprised you again with a bouquet of flowers and the first thing that you said was no Alex no. But I begged you to just listen at least for once while I played a melancholic song with a poem I wrote about us and about asking you to not leave me. I grabbed your hand while I recited the poem and proceeded to my room. There it layed was flower petals laid with I love you shaped with your name on it with chicken nuggets, a sundae ice cream with the cold air of air conditioner on. I remember you shaking your head and saying no Alex, no again. But I kept going, I kept reciting the poem till it ended. I remember you telling me you didn't love me anymore and that you needed to do this for yourself. I remember feeling so lost at that moment I begged to the ground just for you to have me back, to promise I'll change. I remember telling you that the day before this I finally learned how to tie my tie again and you started crying because that was something you did for me at every event, conference or presentation I went to. You were my go to person who would make sure I was spiffy. I remember having closure at that time and kissing you in your car goodbye. I remember and thought for that whole month of June that this was the end of it. That it was totally over. I remember crying to work, crying in parking lots, crying to my mom, crying at church, at hospitals. I picked up yoga at the park and would go three times a week or more just to feel better for myself because I was so scared to have that haunted feeling of you not without me. Some days I felt so alive for the first time But then you came back. After a month, I remember you texting me after a month of heartache, I easily took you back. After all the things I've done just to forget you, I easily said yes. I remember that whole week my anxiety would kick in I had to play an anxiety phone app just to not be worried of why you weren't texting me or why it seemed like the guy I knew wasn't there anymore. I remember accepting that because I loved you at that moment. I remember seeing your new earring thinking everything that I complained about you it wasn't about me not liking you, it was my own insecurities. I didn't have the balls to wear a three earring or a head band or more, but in that month alone I remember why You called me broken, cause I was and I had a lot of things I needed to accept and those were things I was ready. I remember pondering sonmuch about my flaws about how I never talked with your friends, how I never tried and this time I was ready to be that guy. I remember you telling me that you felt like you could be who you are without me more. I remember the softness of your face, the warmth of your hug and the volume of your hair caress against me the last morning we were together. I went to the living room for an hour meditating cause I felt scared.. I remember you telling me after telling me that night we can be official the next morning you said you didn't want to see me anymore or that if we could take it slow but if it was okay that you could see other people while being with me. I remember how horrible that feeling was, to be a second choice. I remember when you said maybe you wanted to just get back with me because it was your closure. After pouring my life out again to you that week. I remember going to my house and I laid in my room and saw the stuff toy I gave you. I remember breaking down with my bestfriend when I saw that laying in my room. I remember being so heartbroken, I cried myself to sleep so many nights. I remember waking up crying so loudly from a dream of us getting back together and then you trying to leave me again just like what happened. I remember my mom coming up to Buffalo just to make sure I was doing okay because she's never seen me so depressed in her whole Life. I remember when I couldn't stop crying driving home from work every morning because I keep remembering all the promises you told me, all the times you told me I was the one and all the times you told me you were in this for the long run. I remember praying to God so desperately asking to give me an answer what are His plans for me because I've never felt so lost in my whole life. I remember so many nights and sometime I remember when there are still days I just want to text you and tell you how much I miss you in my life. But then I remember that I was once myself before us. I remember the days I used to run on my own and think that God had a plan for everything. I remember when it used to just be me and I was able to move. But upto now I'm still trying to remember. I'm always going to remember the moments we had,Good or bad. Although our lives are separating now I'll always remember.