#I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ACE ATTORNEY PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

[lolzitstheo]

I hope people see my vision. Now I present a Tad Strange x Phoenix Wright comic, enjoy.

And the full page. This is a joke btw.

[randoimago]

Headcanons of what's like to date (Ace Attorney) Phoenix Wright, Klavier Gavin, Asogi Kazuma, and Herlock Sholmes please?

What It's Like To Date Them

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Character(s): Phoenix Wright, Klavier Gavin, Asogi Kazuma, and Herlock Sholmes

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): The amount of patience S/O will need when it comes to these men istg

Asogi

He almost always has a knowing smile on his face. Like he knows something you don't. It really doesn't help if you have anxiety or if you actually are hiding something from him because he just looks like he knows. And if you ask him about it, you just get a cheeky smile and a, "Whatever do you mean?"

Will drop everything to help you with whatever you need. Even if he thinks it's a bit silly, he won't say anything, just offers his help. Of course, if you say you can do it then he won't push.

He keeps to himself mostly, not really sharing his thoughts on things. But he does check up on you quite often, wanting to make sure you're alright. It's like he's noticing things that he doesn't want to say and instead giving you the opportunity to speak up.

Herlock

Be prepared to constantly be interrupted with whatever you're doing because he needs attention. He really is like an overexcited puppy because look at what he just made! Look at this new case he got and how quickly he solved it!

Lots of sleeping alone at nights. Not because he doesn't want to lay next to you and cuddle, but because the man does NOT sleep. He's always pushing himself and working on something. Don't worry, he has strict "Okay if I take 10 minute to rest now then it gives me an extra 20 minutes for his thing--" That is if he even follows through with the resting.

There are times when you come home and he's in his depressed state. He's moping about something failing and you coming home does make him a bit better, but he really needs someone to listen to him and talk to. Even if you don't quite give him a solution, you can definitely give him ideas that help pull him out of it and suddenly he's back to being a happy puppy.

Klavier

Music is constantly playing. Usually the same genre, but now and then he switches it up for inspiration or because you ask nicely. The volume of the music also changes if he's trying to work or if you think it's too loud/soft. But music is always playing.

Likewise, get used to hearing him practicing guitar. Sometimes he's just strumming a tune that got stuck in his head, sometimes he sees you and gives a teasing smile before going into some improv for a super cheesy love song, and sometimes he is tearing his hair out because he cannot figure out how to write a certain song and it's just angry grumbling.

Despite the fact that Klavier tries to seem rather easy-going, there are moments that only you get to see where he needs you to hold him and just be there for him. Between his brother, his band, and the fact that his mentor was killed, well he needs a shoulder to lean on when the thoughts get to be too much.

Phoenix

You can expect quite a few twisted jokes from him. He'll be reading the morning paper and give a hum about someone falling to their death before he retorts, "I would've survived that fall."

Speaking of that, you become a regular at the hospital. They learn your name, give you cheery smiles, and then point you in the direction of Phoenix's room because he is so bad at avoiding being hurt. He promises you that isn't trying to be a mummy with all his bandages, but it's just his luck.

Phoenix really wishes he can have his phone on silent, but with his job that's not possible. So when you two are out on a nice date or relaxing at home, there are many times when it's interrupted by someone needing an attorney. But most of the time the interruptions are from Maya or Athena or one of the people that has pretty much become family. He does his best to be nice with telling them he's busy, but more often than not you get pulled along to whatever shenanigans they've gotten themselves into.

[atla-confessions]

Hi, it's the Rozin anon. Crawled out from my w40k obsession back into my ATLA phase because of Roku's novel. I love that little twerp, what can I say to justify myself? (Sozin too, mwah *throws him into a blender*)

Came here to complain again. Shocker, I know. And I think I figured out why so little people actually took Rozin seriously and haven't reduced into a fandom joke, like 90% of the fandom did. It's because ATLA fans don't see Roku (and Sozin) as characters of their own too. They don't take them seriously and even had shown their clear dislike for the characters. It's understandable in Sozin's case. A bad guy, an imperialist, a traitor, a closeted bigot. But I, to this day, had never understood the hate surrounding Roku.

Seriously, what did this guy do? Left Sozin alone after threatening him? Killing Sozin would've brought disastrous consequences, because he is a fire lord who, presumably, has already earned nation's loyalty to him. Killing him would've caused so much pain in the ass to the future avatars as well. Besides, this is literally exactly what everyone's beloved Kyoshi did with her fire lord problem. "But Chin the-!" She literally didn't do anything until he came to her land. How many people had Chin's army killed before she stepped in? How many villages and towns had he pillaged before she stepped in? I know the avatar is a human and literally can't be an omnipresent beacon of justice, stopping evil no matter where it is, but... Come on, girl! Also, I don't care what you say, but, that's not murder. I played Ace Attorney, I can prove Kyoshi's innocence whatever she likes it/agrees with me or not.

The volcano death? Volcanoes are fucking terrifying, man! The Yellowstone Volcanoes used to give me NIGHTMARES when I was a kid. Often times, the lava is not even the worst part. The ash fall, which would lead to food shortage and therefore massive famine, the lava coming into contact with water producing toxic gases, the area being a hell on Earth in the foreseeable future, the earthquakes, the tsunamis! And Roku had to keep track of ALL OF THOSE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. Even if people were already on the boats, they could still had been hit by a massive wave generated by another eruption. "But Aang-!" His volcano was on land and a bit smaller. Also he had to deal with only one. Roku had to deal with two at same time, that were in the close proximity with each other, all on the same small island. No wonder Sozin came to help.

And, okay. All of the points I mentioned had already been brought up by other people when defending Roku. But, now we finally have the Roku centric novels! Yay! Finally, Roku fans won't have to read dumb shit being said about their favorite charact-

Aaaaaand people are now freaking out over the leaks! I'm not going to spoil anything here, but just... Guys... Can we PLEASE not gatekeep fucking BENDING??? Your fave won't die or become irrelevant just because another character can do what they can. Maybe focus on something actually unique and important of theirs, like, idk, their personality??? Their relationship with other characters??? How pretty/sexy they are??

Anyway, I'm pissed off and now I'll go and draw young Roku in a cow print bikini. Femboy Roku agenda, idc anymore, I'm anon, what are you gonna do to me?

X

[icedjuiceboxes]

For the ask game *hands you a Emily*

You know you think this would be easy considering she lives rent free in my mind but man what new is there to say when I said it all already.

How I feel about this character

Emily had a very big role to fill as the playable protagonist of dishonored 2.

From my perspective Female protagonists in sequels tend to be mocked and ridiculed, especially if they replacing the original male protagonist from the first game. Some examples include Athena from Ace attorney 5, and Abby from TLOU2 (though Abby is a special case separate from the argument). Female protagonists tend to get shit unless they fall under two categories. A) They're the protag of a new game (Aloy from Horizon) or B) The female protagonist started as an NPC before being Playable (Ellie from TLOU).

Emily falls under the second category, so the community was already familiar with her. Still didn't completely block her from criticism from all the gamer bros™️ who cannot stand playing as anything but as a cis white male bc God forbid they do otherwise.

I will literally defend any female protagonists with my life. Which is why she became my favourite character. Sure. I like mainstream shit. But I like the underrated shit even better.

I also think Optimistic protagonists tend to be less favored compared to their emo-ass counterparts and I don't know who hurt yall but can we please let a little hope into our lives-

In conclusion: I will defend Emily til I die and even once I get over my brainrot I promise you she is only reincarnated in a form of an oc. Hell I'll probably will name an oc directly after her. I did it once before and I'll do it again

All the people I ship romantically with character

Emily X Billie

TOXIC YURI / ENEMIES TO LOVERS LETS GO !!!

Emily X Alexi

Very nice. Very plausible. I think alexi should been Emily’s Canon romantic partner in game especially with how fast alexi was introduced and killed and there was have been more emotional connection to her. Wyman didn't need to exist and the brownie points of making them non-binary is pointless (and I'm saying that as non binary myself.)

Emily X Hypatia

I see the potential and I personally like to think that Emilt and Hypatia got along a little too well on the Wale and Billie was jealous the entire time and completely misresd the room between them. Because tell me why when Billie says "let's hope your friend (hypatia] doesn't burn the ship down" HAD SO MUCH JEALOUS UNDERTONE ??? toxic Yuri for the win

Alexi X Emily X Billie

Hear me out,,,, herding dog, sheep, and wolf situation. And no not a love triangle. Emily has two hands okay.

Emily x Mindy

They fucked once. Thats it.

Emily X Outsider

Once again there's potential here and i can see it. Idm seeing stuff but it doesn't excite me to personally create for it (though if I made it Yuri...)

My non romantic otp for this character

Outsider X emily

You can't tell me the outsider didn't have favorites (and that favourite was Emily.) The two are besties.

Emily X Alexi

Doomed one-sided crush and the oblivious best friend okay. (Alexi should have lived change my mind)

Emily X Hypatia

They're both nerds

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in Canon

Nothing because I respect the narrative as it present but also I am a comic creator with free will, delusion and pure spite and delusion and anything I want to see happen I've already thought about it. There's already an outline. it's in my wips folder. I am the change I want to see in my world

Just kidding I wanted a fucking voice line to discovering corvo's childhood home and daud confession. Where is it akrane. WHERE IS IT.

[cabbagedkappa]

To my fellow Ace Attorney fans out there, I have a really, really important question. This is kind of lengthy, so buckle up- I tried to keep it as brief as possible. This is about Bridge to a Turnabout (Trials and Tribulations chapter 5), so please don't look if you haven't finished the entire case and don't want spoilers. If you know someone who has, do me a favor and share this with them.

Have you guys ever sat and thought about how Godot is entirely responsible for the events of that case, going back a year in advance? And I mean ENTIRELY. Quick recap, just in case- I need you to think back to Reunion and Turnabout from Justice For All (chapter 2). Morgan Fey was arrested for being an accomplice to murder.

We find out in T&T-5 that, during a visitation period shortly after JFA-2, Pearl told her about the special reservations she had placed a year in advance. Morgan took this information, knowing Dahlia would have been executed by then and that Maya would be in a compromising position at Hazakura Temple, and wrote Pearl the letter detailing her murder plot. Of course, Pearl can't understand the letter at all, so the plan goes off the rails very quickly.

But I feel like not a lot of people remember that the letter was given to Pearl sealed. It's probably a little easy to miss- Pearl mentions that she had stashed it away when she got home, but when she came back to read it later, she was surprised to see that the seal was broken.

Godot had overheard the plans and gone to Kurain Village to inspect the letter himself. Sometime between reading the letter and the events of T&T-5, he enlisted Iris and Misty's help to put a stop to it.

......He put the letter back. Before Pearl even had a chance to read it at all.

You could argue that this was accidental, but he had a FULL YEAR to correct his mistake. Even if Pearl had already read it by the time he got back, it's not like a nine year old is going to remember what it said word-for-word, especially not in a year's time.

Unfortunately, it's hard for me to believe he didn't leave it there on purpose. Quoted from the wiki, "seeing as his chance to save [Maya], as he projected his feeling that he failed to save his girlfriend Mia..."

He willingly endangered the safety of a small child and allowed a threat to be made on the life of Mia's beloved sister just so he could look like a hero and "redeem" himself. And he killed Maya's mother in the process- right in front of her.

Godot subjected the Fey girls to so much unnecessary hurt and trauma just for the sake of stroking his own ego. If his goal was really to do whatever it took to protect his girlfriend's remaining family, he did a piss-poor job of it.

All the art I see of this man- Mia's spirit lovingly by his side. Babysitting the girls and getting into weird uncle hijinks. Would they really have forgiven him so easily? All it would've taken to prevent it all was just to get rid of the letter. He had an entire year to do it. He had multiple chances to fess up and apologize.

Sorry for the rant. It was driving me crazy that nobody seems to acknowledge anything about the letter. I was starting to think that surely, the ENTIRE fandom can't have missed this detail, and that maybe some sort of elaborate prank was being played on me.

Please, share your ideas with me. I want to know how many people have thoughts on this. It'd be an understatement to say that it's been driving me crazy.

[infinitefuneral]

KAZUMA ASOGI from THE GREAT ACE ATTORNEY

**Warning for MASSIVE SPOILERS for THE GREAT ACE ATTORNEY DUOLOGY on this blog! Beware before you follow!**

PLEASE NOTE: I understand if you don't want to follow this blog due to spoilers. I have no problem roleplaying with other Isola members who are not following the blog itself, but wish to like ads. Please absolutely tell me if you want me to avoid ALL spoilers. including vague references, in our threads! Thank you!

The embodiment of the (somewhat) modern samurai. Believes a samurai's sword is their soul, and intends to uphold justice above all else.

Is the kind of person who will say something that seems like it should be cringe, but he's also completely serious and people tend to just be in awe anyway.

A very serious person who will do anything in pursuit of what he believes is right.

Continued below the cut for spoilers:

Yeah so coming back from the "dead" with amnesia and ending up where you were meant to be despite not knowing a single thing about who you are due to your mindless pursuit of justice (read: revenge and potential assassination) carrying on without your memories kind of makes you that kind of guy.

While he's typically very serious and well put together, Kazuma also has a huge issue with his own tendencies toward hatred - while he ultimately hasn't killed anybody and had not intended to, he admits to wanting someone dead in front of him due to personal reasons, and very nearly being the one to do it.

Thus, he has his inner "demon" that he continues to face down. One of the ways he's doing this is by pursuing life as a prosecutor to pursue justice in a way that's productive.

The sword he carries is neither a katana nor is it the blade that he says houses his soul. That is with someone very important to him.

[thesimpsbasement]

Request for Mod Betty! Can I ask for headcanons about how would Edgeworth, Apollo, Phoenix, Godot, Simon, and Klavier react if their crush remembered something they mentioned a long time ago please?

Yes of course! Apologies for taking so long I sort of saved this one for last due to the amount of characters and I've been unmotivated lately so apologies for the long delay hope you don't mind!

But with that out of the way I hope you enjoy reading!

_______________________

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Characters:Phoenix Wright ,Miles Edgeworth, Godot,Apollo Justice, Klavier Gavin,Simon Blackquill 

Author: Mod Betty 

Warnings: Spoilers for AA3, Slight AA5 spoilers

Reader is gender neutral 

A/N: finally cleared our inbox hehe I dunno when we'll reopen requests again personally I want to write oc related stuff( won't be posted though)since I told myself I would this summer so Mod Saya will take over for a bit most likely we'll see 

Words count: 2,547 words 

________________________

ℙ𝕙𝕠𝕖𝕟𝕚𝕩 𝕎𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

-You two were classmates in university and often hung out with each other 

-You never really liked his relationship with Dalhia,it was a gut feeling and not wanting to upset your friend you just kept it to yourself 

-You were in the gallery during his trial, you knew Phoenix would never kill some like that 

-You were honestly at the edge of your seat the whole time and oh boy you were relieved that he got a not guilty verdict 

-After the trial you were walking to congratulate him on escaping by a slither 

-You walked up to him and congratulated him and thanked Mia for getting him out of trouble 

-As you 3 sat on the sofa of and started chatting 

" You know I'll take some law classes so I can be a great lawyer!"

-Timeskip to present day you found yourself quite in the predicament 

-It happened so fast you still are registering what occurred but here you were in the detection center because you were accused of murder 

-Before you could wonder how or why you were framed you heard 2 people walking in, a blue suited gentleman and a black haired girl besides him 

-Looks up at the gentleman's you immediately recommend who it was and so did he when he got a good look of your face 

" PHOENIX!?" You shouted " _____!?" Phoenix shouted back leaving the black haired girl confused 

-" Do you know each other?" The girl who later introduced herself as Maya asked " Uh yeah they were a friend of mine during university " he explained scratching his neck "Sooo why are you here" you asked curious until you notice the badge on his chest " Wait don't tell me are you here to?" You trail looking at him " yeah I am I can't let you sit here by yourself with a murder accusation up your sleeve " he said looking determined " So you were serious back then when you sold you'll be lawyer huh" you say reminiscing about old times

-Phoenix was surprised that you remembered such a silly thing from years ago but he cracked a smile but before he could say anything he was interrupted 

 " hate the cut the sweet moments bit we came here to ask questions " Maya said pouting " Oh yeah I guess that's true please tell us what happened " Phoenix asked getting all serious " Right" you say before explaining the situation 

-You were surprised by his skills in court even if he had some silly and embarrassing moments but that was just the Phoenix you knew and you were glad you got to see him again 

-After the trial you 2 met up and started talking, it felt nostalgic and familiar almost " you really became the oh so great lawyer you said you'll be" you said " Yeah I'm surprised you remembered something like that considering it's been how many years since we last talked" Phoenix replied smiling but deep down he was glad you still remembered him even if the version him that you knew was more dumber than his current self. 

𝕄𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕤 𝔼𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙

-You were a fellow prosecutor just like Edgeworth 

-Despite him not being the talkative type you 2 managed to grow rather close(( even stirring some unnecessary feelings within him)

-When you grew close enough he began opening up to you about what happened those years ago in that elevator and how it still haunts him to this day, he also mentioned his fear of elevator and earthquakes which you kept in mind 

-You always took precautions to be close to Edgeworth just in case am earthquakes would happen since he doesn't usually take the elevator 

-One faithful day as you 2 were hangings out at his place after work when suddenly an earthquake struck which prompt Edgeworth to panic, noticing this you quickly rushed to him trying to calm him down and to support him so even if he did pass out he wouldn't hit face first into the floor 

-You 2 were lying on the floor you hugging Edgeworth protective, the earthquake wasn't strong but it still shocked the man to his core 

-When it did finally calm down you laid him down on his bed waiting for him to wake up 

When he did he was a bit confused at first but the remembered what occurred before he lost consciousness " I must've failed " he concluded sitting up 

-You walked in the room with a cup of tea in hand " Oh Miles you're awake here I made this cup of tea for you" you said handing out the cup ad he took it, his hands still shaking a bit "Apologies for passing out like that back there I-" before he could finish you started talking " No need to apologise Miles I already knew something like that would happen so I made sure you'll be alright , I mean you told me yourself how much earthquakes affect you " you say looking at him 

-He was surprised , what he said wasn't exactly something minor or easily forgettable but he was still surprised you removed that bit of info 

-Sighing he took a deep breath before taking a sip of the tea " Thank you ____" he said with a small smile appearing on his face " Of course I'll do anything to help!"

𝔾𝕠𝕕𝕠𝕥

-You've been working at Fey and Co office for some time alongside Diego for quite some time

-You,Mia and Diego were like 3 peas in a pod and could barely be separated 

-Sometimes when Diego is too busy you or Mia would take the liberty to make his favourite blend to help energise him a bit and to take a break every now and then

-When Diego first told you how to make his coffee blend you had to write it down but eventually you knew it by heart and that was sorta a bonding moment for you two 

-But things wouldn't be the same ever since that forsaken case 

-You all had your suspensions on Dahlia and when Diego eventually got poisoned you were both devastated meanwhile Mia tried her best to console you in his place and promised the both of you everything will be fine 

-And then Mia passed as well you were practically left all alone, you lost the 2 people you cared about ,feeling bad Phoenix took you as one of his assistants and tried to be there for you which you appreciated 

-When the new prosecutor introduced himself you could've sworn he seemed so familiar it couldn't be could it? But you chose to ignore it until he revealed who he truly was 

-The whole trial left you stunned and unable to comprehend what you were hearing and seeing 

-after the trial you were devastated once more but you did visit Godot often when he wasn't feeling guilty about the whole thing

-Till he was released this is how you two communicated

-On the day of his release you decided to celebrate by making his favorite blend considered he probably wasn't allowed coffee during his time in prison 

-You offered the glass of the warm beverage to him and he took it ,he trusted you and knew you wouldn't think of poisoning it 

-Taking a sip an all too familiar taste took over his mouth as he drank the bitter drink 

-" Hah looks like you still remember how to make my Godot blend no.107 down to the last detail" he said smiling at you before taking another sip of coffee.

𝔸𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠 𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕖

-It happened once with a chat with you, him and Trucy.You don't remember what the actual conversation was but you remember Apollo mentioning having a pet rabbit , it was a bit surprising since he didn't look like the type of have a rabbit as pet but you found it cute 

-One day he was particularly stressed so you took it upon yourselves to cheer him up so you suggested going somewhere to take a breather 

-Apollo was a bit hesitant but he agreed plus Phoenix insisted he can go 

-" So where exactly are we going?" He asked as you literally dragged him to whatever destination you had in mind " oh you'll see" you simply said continuing to drag the poor boy to who knows where

-Eventually you came to a stop and he recognised the building as a bunny café " Let's have a drink here and take a break for a bit my treat" you say before walking in 

-Ordering your drinks of choice you 2 sat down at a table enjoying your drinks 

-" I have to ask why did you choose this café specifically we passed some you know" he asked curious about your choice "Oh I didn't just drag you here for a drink come we still have a bigger and a fluffier attraction wanting here " you say before taking Apollo to the bunny room where bunnies of all shapes and sizes were waiting 

-" Still a bit confused about why you chose this place" Apollo said reaching to pet a rabbit nearby " I remember you mentioned having a pet rabbit once so I thought this place would be perfect to sort of bring you like a sense of nostalgia you know" you explained sitting next to him also petting the rabbit that's been sitting on his lap 

-" You remembered someone as small as that!?" He exclaimed trying to keep his voice down to not scare the other bunnies and to not disturb the other customers " Maybe you'd be a better lawyer than me" he chuckled enjoying the moment 

-You definitely took pictures and showed them to rest of the agency much to Apollo's dismay since there were some photos of him being all soft while playing and feeding the bunnies 

-You,Apollo and Phoenix also had to stop Trucy from running to a pet store to buy a rabbit 

𝕂𝕝𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕣 𝔾𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕟

-you two were childhoods friends 

-you would usually goof around and talk about things you aspired to be even if some would sound super unrealistic you were just kids after all 

-" I want to be a popular singer and have my own band!" Little Kalver said smiling "woah that's so cool I'll be your first and biggest fan!" You respond with a smile appearing on your face as well. "You better show up to all my concerts and let me wow you with my music " he demanded, looking forward to following this dream " But of course I wouldn't miss them for the world!" You 2 giggled having fun with your little conversation 

-Growing up you did split ways Kalvier choosing the pursue law while you chose something else and you two often found yourselves too busy to talk with each other but you 2 would meet soon 

-You were just reading the newspaper having finished work and found a familiar face and name "Rockstar prosecutor sweeps the courtroom floor!" Wow, talk about eye-catching titles and there he was looking all high and mighty. 

-This suddenly gave you the idea of giving him a visit hoping he won't be busy that is

-You made your way to the prosecution's office,a bit nervous considering how scary people make the other prosecutors seem 

-Taking a deep breath you enter the building and ask around for Klavier's office and eventually you found yourself standing in front of his office's door 

-You knock and hear a " come in" signaling you to enter.You were pondering how he'll react ,would he even remind you? Would he kick you out? But before you can pinder for longer you hear Klavier's voice 

-"____!?" He exclaimed" What brings you here? I haven't seen you in years!" Despite looking older he was still the Klavuer you knew 

-"Wanted to come for a visit, a little reunion if you will, hope you're not too busy" you said rubbing your neck " No no it's alright I've just finished some stuff so I'm all yours" he said winking causing you playful hit his arm

-Looking around you quickly notice the display case of all his guitars "Woah there are so many you weren't kidding when you said you wanted to be a singer" you said looking at the different types " My my you still remember those silly chats we had when we were young " he asked walking next to you " Obviously you'd never stop talking about it " you said both to giggle at each other's foolishness in their youth

-You two spent catching up with things and reminiscing about old times and Klavier was honestly glad to have you back and be able to be by your side once more.

𝕊𝕚𝕞𝕠𝕟 𝔹𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕢𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕝

-The first time you met Simon was before the UR-1 incident 

-He often talked about wanting to study physiology and you've supported him  but ever since the faithfull day where his mentor died and he was accused with and sentenced to death he cut ties with you, no matter how hard you tried it was futile so you just let it go 

-All those 7 years you couldn't stop thinking about how he was and sometime you've had sleepless nights pondering if he did or did not get executed 

-When you found the charges were released you were ecstatic but weren't sure if you should visit him or not consider how he pushed you away for so long 

-Surprisingly you heard a knock at your door a few days after his release and speak of the devil there he was standing in the door frame which left you shocked 

-He was a lot more different looking and had a hawk accompanying him 

-" Simon you're..you're here!" You exclaimed still trying to process everything " Keh apologies for the long wait. I wasn't exactly in the best of circumstances.." he trailed off walking inside your house, closing the door behind him. "Please take a seat, I'll get some tea for the both of us!" You said before rushing to the kitchen 

-Simon took a seat in the living room as he looked around and started to notice how much me longed for your presence and attention 

-Coming back with 2 cups of tea you sit down next to him and you 2 start talking about what happened in the past 7 years. At some point you remembered what he said before his arrest " Are you still into the whole studying psychology ordeal?" You asked trying to be careful with your words to not open old wounds considering his mentor has been killed " Quite so maybe I should teach you a few things you sure were rooting for me back then about it " he chuckled taking a sip of his tea " oh yeah I meant to ask you this but who's your friend you got there?" You ask pointing at the bird on his shoulder " Oh this is my loyal companion Taka it's been helping me through the time in clink " he said rubbing the bird's chin " If you'd wish I can let you pet him but don't be surprised if he bites keh" 

[beevean]

Top 5 of your most shameful ships from your fav pieces of media

oof. The one question that I am still ashamed to answer on main... :P

Well, whatever, I'm a freak. Under the cut to pretend I still have some dignity:

5) Baroryuu (Great Ace Attorney): it got far more popular recently which I'm very grateful for, but I did not forget the sheer vitriol against it and against Barok when the game came out. Sorry if I think their character development is sublime and I got teareyed when Barok started being so nice to Ryuu, saying stuff like "You are a lawyer of boundless talent" and "I believe that you saved my life" :') also I never believed that the 9 year age gap was a big deal? 24 and 33 are both consenting adults, especially in the context of the year 1900 in which the game takes place in. Please don't infantilize Ryuu, I love him just as much as Barok.

4) Jaspis (Steven Universe): says something about me that I despise Lapidot but like this one a lot. Also I can exploit a quirk in the Stevenverse and look for fics tagged Malachite if I want more of their sweet sweet toxic relationship, to avoid all the fluffy stuff I have no interested in :D but yeah, their dynamic was tragically cut short by the story. I loved the reveal that all that time, it was Lapis abusing Jasper, the cute waifish Gem taking all of her anger and resentment against the last person who dared to treat her like an object... and it just so happens that Jasper has such a warped sense of self worth that she liked being abused, and begged Lapis to come back, because she was so enamored with her power (and Malachite's - "we can fly!" aww). This was a kids show!

3) Sagamaji (Yakuza 0): yes, I really looked at that sleazy 50 something old man lording his power over the poor 24 yo who would do anything to protect his kyoudai, and immediately jumped to the most obvious conclusion. I am trash. I also might have felt something other than fear at the scene where Sagawa chokes Majima in the public toilet. But considering that I found dozens upon dozens of fics with the same premise of "Sagawa forces Majima to Do Stuff because he can", I'm glad I'm not alone, at least. I also like Kazumaji quite a lot, one of my favorite Gay Rival ships even, but that one's super duper popular 😂

2) Isaavor (Castlevania): damn you Stabbing scene, you really rearranged my whole braincells. Not that I also don't like Isaactor in its beautiful tragedy, but in this case, I am stuck between the Western fandom who deadass ignores it, except for one (1) fic I stumbled upon in a kink meme page, and the Japanese fandom who adores it but simply because they find both Trevor and Isaac hot. And I get it, I truly do. But... my parallels... my bonding... my sass... there is Something here, I feel it... like yes it's a crack ship and I love joking about Isaac having Thoughts 👀 about that whip (and those tiddies on trevor's chest), but I don't know, I think they have more chemistry than it looks.

Sonegg (Sonic): DeviantART did a number on me when I was 13. Age gap? Who cares! They want to kill each other really badly? Yeah, isn't that very sexy of them <3 there's only so much attitude Sonic can give Eggman before it looks like he wants to get dem eggs for himself. Plus, all the planning that went into analyzing Sonic to create Metal, hmm, Eggy? 👀 much like Isaavor, I'm stuck in this weird place where I recognize it's a crack ship and I mostly joke about it, but also, they're both foils of each other, they're interwoven as archnemesis, they're more similar than they let on... they have chemistry. Not a cute loving chemistry, but who needs it? :P

[whenyourunlabeledbutlabeled]

WELCOME TO MY BLOG<333

THIS LIST GETS UPDATED SEMI-FREQUENTLY

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED!!

I swear I'm a dude

Boundaries bc you and I deserve them

Nobody over 35 interact!! You will be blocked!

:read more:

:readmore:

Fandoms I will write for

Danganronpa(Trigger Happy Havoc, Goodbye Despair and Killing Harmony)

Saiki k(iffy)

Voltron(iffy)

Ace attorney (I barely know any personalities, I just like the cases)

Genshin Impact (I don't know much about this one, I get info from ASMR at this point)

Detroit Become Human(iffy)

PLEASE GIVE ME WARRIOR CATS REQUESTS ITS MY SPECIAL INTEREST PLEASE ILL GIVE YOU MY BODILY FUNCTIONS PLEASE

Omori. Give me the stinky rat fandom.

Demon slayer

Erased

The promised Neverland

Your turn to die/YTTD

This list WILL be updated!! I advise you check here every so often!!

THINGS I DO NOT WRITE FOR!!!!

Female readers, sorry ladies, but there's alot of content for you out there

I won't use she/her pronouns for readers. Again, sorry, but this is a gn/male/anything other than girls and stuff

Smut, I will write implied smut but not the actual thing, this MAY be changed later.

DNI list

35+

Homophobes

Cishet men

Men with a fish as their PFP. Get out. Now. John I'm talking to you. I know your here John. Out.

John Gunner.

Uncomfy

25+

Again, John Gunner. This is personal.

ME

My name on Tumblr is Katoki/Zion!

I use he/they but I don't care that much about what you use for me.

I'm gay. And also homiesexual/hj

I am 19 years old!

I write one shots, headcannons and maybe more stuff once I find stuff I'm comfy with!

I WILL UPDATE THIS EVENTUALLY!!

Me mildly telling you to give me shun Kaidou and zenitsu requests right now/nf

I WILL write for feminine reader, but not for female reader, two different things!!

IF YOU DONT LIKE NSFW BLOCK THE TAG zion being a slut OLDER POSTS WILL NOT HAVE THIS TAG BUT I AM WORKING ON IT

[manyothermusingsofmine]

Lunchbreak Overthinking || Drabble

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Wordcount: 1,226

Warnings: None

AN: a rather self indulgent small piece because my personal workday was absolute garbage. My writing skills are quite rusted from disuse, be nice.

Ah, fanfic, where you can fulfill your desire of /not/ being the first on the elevator and thus having someone hold it open for you rather than vise versa.

shout out to this youtube video for being my ambient writing music

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hold the door, please!"

The voice calling interrupted Klavier’s thoughts, instinctively reaching his arm out to block the elevator door so Mary could slip in.

It wasn't particularly crowded, just him, prosecutor Blackquill and his falcon, and now Mary and her little robin. The elevator was suited for at least three more people to fit comfortably, but nobody else seemed to want to get on

"Thank you," Mary said as Klavier allowed the doors to shut.

"Kein Problem," he replied, looking at her as she balanced several file maps in her arms and hands.

"What floor do you need?"

"Five. Thanks."

He just gave her a smile, quietly acknowledging her thanks in that way. Seemed like they all had a little while to go in the elevator, so Klavier didn't mind some small talk- At least Mary replied, unlike Blackquill who was very often not in the mood to chitchat.

"Anything new on the administrative personnel's grapevine?"

"Payne might get himself killed or worse if he touches the copy machine again. Not even by the copy machine, but by us. Like, if you don't know how it works, don't push every button you can find five times in a row."

Klavier chuckled a little at that, knowing fully well both the frustration of the administrative workers and Payne’s less than stellar relationship with said copy machine

And with that, Mary rushed off to deliver the file maps she needed to their designated place, her fiery red to blonde hair and her little bird companion trailing close behind her as she cleared the corner.

“Ach, has he still not figured out that she’s a delicate machine and needs to be treated as such?”

“Nope- ah, this is my stop. Can we catch up later?”

“Lunch in my office? It’ll keep you away from Payne.”

“Deal!”

It was at that moment that Simon lowkey rolled his eyes. He was far from easy to impress on the best of days, but this whole display left him even less so.

“Having lunch with your ex, of all people? At your office? Sounds like a sure fire way to get the rumour mill started.”

Klavier merely raised an eyebrow at the other’s statement.

“Oh? Forgive me if I’m wrong, Herr Blackquill, but you don’t seem the type to engage in gossip. Unless you want to join us, as well, to supervise that two adults in their professional space will behave as such?”

Simon only gave Klavier a side glance in reply.

“Mary and I are still friends. Last time I checked there was no rule forbidding friends from visiting someone’s office.”

“Mhhm, ‘just friends.’ Is that what the kids call it nowadays?”

 The elevator gave another ding as both ended on their respective stop, with Blackquill not even giving the conversation a second thought as he left for his office.

“You’re barely two years older than me,” Klavier muttered under his breath, knowing that yelling it after the Twisted Samurai would yield in absolutely zero results. Besides, it was none of the other prosecutor’s business, and Klavier knew for a fact that Blackquill wasn’t exactly the most social person in the building.

Not enough to start weird rumours about people, anyway.

Her little bird trailed close behind her yet again and landed comfortably on her shoulder when they reached the top of the stairs, chirping a merry little tune as she made her way to Klavier’s office.

-

Soon the hands of the clock proudly proclaimed that lunchtime was to start, and Mary quickly made her way up the stairs to the prosecutor’s floor. Most of the people coming down from their office would go with the elevator anyway, so the stairs were much quicker.

 “I can hear you coming from a mile away,” he said with a smile before she even entered the room, as the robin fluttered off and landed of Klavier’s shoulder instead with a happy cheep.

“Hi, Grayson. You’re quite the fluffy little chime, aren’t you?” he laughed, very gently petting the bird with a single finger as Mary took one of the seats and made herself comfortable.

It wasn’t long after that they were both sharing silly stories of weird visitors, clients and some minor gossip about less than preferred co-workers. They were simply laughing and having a good time in each other’s company, moving on to the subject of Klavier’s gig on saturday.

“So, do you have anything planned this weekend?”

“Nah. One of the guys downstairs did ask me out on a date, this morning, but I kind of.. blew him off.”

It was that line that seemed to stay on loop in Klavier’s mind, long after the mutual lunchbreak was over and he was in his office signing documents and sorting away.

“And then went to have lunch with me?”

“I’d much rather have lunch with you than play mind games and twenty questions with someone who’s barely even said hello to me thrice.”

That was a completely reasonable thing, right? To rather want to spend your time with a trusted friend then a near stranger? Especially for Mary.

As the heart shaped flag pendant on her necklace boldly stated, she did identify as demisexual. Arguably it was even more likely for her to pass on the idea of a date with someone who hadn’t shown that much interest yet aside from just general common curtesy.

His fingers drummed a small rhythmic tune on his desk as he stared at the computer screen, his thoughts definitely somewhere else. Because the thing was... wasn’t that exactly why they ended up mutually breaking up? Because with her career, his career and his side career, there had barely been anytime to just sit and talk and be in each other’s presence and yet... here they were now, making and taking time out of their schedule to catch up a little over their lunchbreaks.  

Is that why prosecutor Blackquill felt the need to comment on it? But he didn’t even know their backstory. For all he knew there could be a whole slew of reasons why something romantic didn’t work out between Klavier and Mary.

Klavier propped the elbow of his free arm on his desk, resting his jaw on his knuckles as his right hand was still rhythmically tapping on the desk. His eyes slowly averted away to the left as he sunk deeper in his thoughts, the task on the computer momentarily being placed on the back burner

... Had the fix to their tight schedule problem really been that easy? Surely not. Not being together romantically took the pressure off things, and it seemed to be far more reasonable to find small ways during the workday to spend at least some time with a friend. Not that it was the business of anyone else, but it wasn’t like they had lunch in Klavier’s office daily. This had been the first time in at least several weeks. that should perfectly fine, right?

Right.

He shook the thought away, turning back to his tasks. He still had a few hours left to get it all done, but better make sure it got done. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for overtime, today.  

 There is no way it would’ve been that easy. They would’ve thought of it way before breaking up if it was.

 …. Right?

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 7 』

· Oct. 1st → Fly! ·

Characters: (teams) Karasuno, Nekoma, Fukurodani, Aoba Johsai, Shiratorizawa, (indiv.) Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu, Aone Takanobu

Prompts: A. free choice!

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), Among Us (video game), PG, fluff, crack, video games, video game violence/death, headcanons, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: Among Us is a bit of a hot meme at the moment (great game. Go and play it/watch other people play it if you can. Get a feel for the game if you somehow haven't already.) So I thought, 'Hey, why not?' I mean, I do need to heal my heart after my Day 6 post, so...

What an amazing week it's been! Well done, everyone! All of my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts are SFW, but there's a little treasure trove of NSFW on my blog, too. Please peruse to your heart's content. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy! ♡

Haikyuu boys / playing Among Us

☆ Karasuno ☆

Literally the loudest games you'll ever witness

You know that grainy, electronic crackle that happens when everybody yells on Discord at the same time? Yeah. That

Kageyama can't lie for shit. It's so obvious when he's lying that it's a genuine miracle if he doesn't immediately get ejected

And he stands in all the wrong places when he's faking doing his tasks 😭😭

But he sounds super suspicious when he's telling the truth, too 😅

Noya and Tanaka buddy up no matter what, and go around trying to clear or murder people together

They also end up fuelling each other's incorrect assumptions

Asahi is way too timid to murder anyone right away, so if nobody dies in the first two rounds, you know it's him or someone trying to frame him...

Daichi is the host and tries to keep order in the lobby...tries someone help him

Hinata: Guys, please stop swearing! Natsu is watching me play!! waahhh 🙈 so cute 😇

Hinata always has to be orange. Don't touch his orange

Ennoshita is the king of self-reporting and getting away with it it just be like that

Kageyama goes around called 'Milk' 🥛

Tsukki tries to big-brain the shit out of it 🤣

He's also hella manipulative as an imposter and refuses to kill Yamaguchi 😭

Suga likes to take out the oxygen/recator and lie in wait for the people who come to fix it he will giggle adorably when it ends up working, which sounds kinda pshyco, ngl 😂

But totally screams at his screen when someone he suspected sneaks up on him and kills him

Yamaguchi low-key prefers the mini games to the actual game 😭😭

And Yachi loves being pink and wearing the little flower in her hair ngl, she nearly fainted the first time she got killed

She doesn't play with them often because it's so loud 😬

☆ Nekoma ☆

Kenma streams the gaming sessions on Twitch, and now they kind of have a cult following 🤷‍♀️

These fans be thirsting hard, too like us

Check out my smut headcanons, y'all 🙌

Kuroo is the closest to a genius player you're ever going to see

He does his tasks fairly efficiently, he's good at remembering layouts and people's movements, he calculates the timings of his kills with terrifying accuracy, defends himself pretty well, whether he's lying or not, can gaslight the entire lobby into sussing an innocent person, and pieces together other people's lies with surprising ease

Do not cross Kuroo. He's scary at this game. He's not the Scheming Captain for nothing, y'all

Lev is the kind of person to vent right in front of someone by accident, which is so awkward, but so funny 😂

The entire team must wear the bear ears hat. Yes, that is a rule

It's the closest to cat ears they have right now....

Kenma is pretty quiet when he's playing. He doesn't normally play online games, but his streams took off on Twitch, sooo~

Kenma also has radar ears and can somehow detect when people are lying, but waits until he has proof to accuse them he smart 🤓

☆ Fukurodani ☆

'Whoever Talks the Loudest is Right' mentality 😂

And Bokuto will defend himself at the volume of an air raid siren

Akaashi stays as quiet as possible so he doesn't give anything away

When Bokuto starts sussing people, it turns into something out of Ace Attorney like, chill tf out, man 😂

But his guesses are normally completely wrong

Akaashi sets good parameters for the games, because he's sensible

If Bokuto is given the chance to host the lobby....he will set one task each, put everyone at 4x speed, give the imposter zero cooldown time, and sit back and watch the chaos

Whenever somebody doesn't have an absolutely airtight alibi–

Bokuto: That's hella sus, bro

Lots of childish nicknames, because...well, they're all mentally six years old

Except Akaashi, who has a higher mental age than all of them combined

Let me just say that when Bokuto and Kuroo play together, shit gets so funny

When one of them is an imposter, they will literally vent in front of the other one and trust them not to out them 😂😂

☆ Aoba Johsai ☆

Iwa-chan can always tell when Oikawa is lying, and constantly calls him out on it

Iwa: That's his lying voice. Shitty-kawa is lying. He's the imposter. Vote him off

Oikawa: IWAAA-CHAAAN D:<

Because Iwa's right about Oikawa when he is the imposter, it makes it easy to frame him when it's actually Iwa who's the imposter

And no-one believes Tooru 😭😭

Kyoutani has no chill as an imposter

He just murders everyone on sight, right in front of people, too

Kindaichi tends to accuse people with very little evidence, but his instincts are weirdly accurate

Oikawa gets killed almost immediately every game, so if he isn't dead two emergency meetings in, he's 100% an imposter 😭😭

He then goes around as a salty ghost when he's killed off, mumbling to himself about injustice as he refuses to do his tasks and watches the people who voted him off get murdered one by one

Not that anyone's holding a grudge 🙄😂

Oikawa refuses to be purple and always kills whoever is purple first because it reminds him of Ushijima 😭😭

☆ Shiratorizawa ☆

Ushijima refuses to play if he can't be purple give it back. N O W

And it takes him a long time to get used to the game and the rules

'Why are the lights off? What are these tasks? Why is that one flashing at me? Where is med bay? Why can I use this vent? What's this big, red button for?' etc.

You get the idea. Toshi = big noob

He doesn't really understand the concept of lying, either...

He keeps forgetting to mute himself and ends up saying some very incriminating stuff over the mic which has everyone in literal tears from laughter

Tendou is a sneaky S.O.B, using those vents like a pro and gaslighting perfectly innocent people he's a little bloodthirsty, too 🤫

And his initial guesses about who's the imposter are almost always 100% correct Guess Monster, y'all

Goshiki goes around trying to clear people by watching them doing their tasks, especially Ushijima

But then he gets called suspicious for hanging around people too much

The first time an emergency meeting was ever called, Ushijima literally asked "Why is my name in red?" much to everyone's amusement

Everyone's scared of Ushijima when he follows them, but it normally turns out that he just doesn't know where he's going

Shirabu tends to lose his shit when people start accusing him and he's innocent, and will never EVER trust a word that comes out of Goshiki's mouth

Speaking of, Goshiki and Shirabu – boy, do they bicker like eight year-olds, wasting entire voting rounds just arguing with each other 🙄😭

So everyone else decides to vote off one, and then the other at the next meeting 😭😭

Misc.

☆ The Miya twins ☆

Atsumu puts 100% trust in Osamu not to kill him, even if he is the imposter

How could he? He's his brother. His twin. His other half. They share a unique bond–

And then he screams in betrayal when Osamu slaughters him mercilessly 😂😂

Osamu is unaffected by the sudden outburst from his brother's room

Put them together as an imposter duo, though, and you're in for some trouble

They often win by executing a perfect double kill

And they're both pretty good at lying, but Osamu will not hesitate to throw Atsumu under the bus and vote him off if he's being too suspicious or the lobby has turned against him 😂

Ah, the bond of brotherhood 😂

☆ Aone Takanobu ☆

Aone doesn't talk very much

But when he does, his voice is so low and even that nobody ever suspects he's the imposter

I'm thinking like Corpse Husband, if you've seen him playing with Pewds and the gang

It doesn't really occur to people that he could be lying. He seems so trustworthy and honest

Finds it very hard to blame anyone else, though

Is fairly decent as doing his tasks as a crewmate, but it takes him a long time to remember the layouts of the ships

Almost never gets voted off the ship

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[misseffect]

VIDEO GAME TAG

Me: gets tagged

Also me: immediately forgets every video game i've ever played

Thanks to @thealexmachina for this - it made me think about games I haven't thought about in years! Tagging @shepgarrus @zaeedmassanis & @garriante (but only if you fancy it).

Games

First game you ever played: oh boy, probably Monsters Inc on GBA. I'm a woman of culture, you see.

Favorite game: LoZ: Twilight Princess. It was the first game I'd played with a story that utterly hooked me. And my first LoZ title.

Game you’ve played through multiple times: Lego Star Wars. BF is making me watch the prequels atm and I keep recognising rooms from the games. If they just smash up those chairs they'll get some studs and an extra heart.

Game you hated at first but now love: Shadow of Mordor. Hate is a strong word. Didn't care for it initially and it's not normally my type, but it was actually a lot of fun.

Game you used to love but now hate: Okami. It's beautiful and the mechanics are cool, but there's this stupid fucking digging mini game that I just cannot beat. Non-optional mini games can eat my whole ass. I put it down last year in a rage and never picked it back up.

Your favorite game atmosphere/setting(s): RDR2. Rockstar's worldbuilding is second to none - the dialogue, the locations, the horses, the little bits of lore scattered through the world for you to find. Stunning. Very close second goes to BotW because the peaceful post-apocalypse vibe is really refreshing. And it also has horses.

A game with your favorite ending: LA Noire. Sometimes shit's broken and people are difficult and the bad guys get away with it, and there's nothing you can do about it but god damnit do we we try anyway. That final sequence in the sewers was some high-octane shit.

A game with the WORST ending: obligatory Mass Effect 3. Otherwise, Skyrim because it just never fucking ends. 100+hrs in and you're a Dragonborn Arch-Mage Dark Brotherhood assassin vampire Nightingale warewolf who could kill a Giant with a sneeze but half the quests are broken so you can't bloody finish anything properly.

Best character customization?: New Horizons. Fight me.

Hero and Companions

Your favorite playable character: FemShep, obviously. Corvo from Dishonoured is also very cool.

The funniest playable character: ooh that's a tough one. Arthur from RDR2 doesn't get enough credit imo. He's a funny dude.

Your favorite companion(s): Midna from Twilight Princess. The bit after the water temple where she gets hurt you have to take her to Hyrule Castle in the dark and the rain? Yeah. Honourable mention to Wrex from ME and Bekowsky from LA Noire. We only get them both as actual companions really briefly which a shame.

Companions you could live without: Thane. Sorry buddy, I just didn't care about you at all.

Relationships

Favorite game friendship(s): Arthur and Lenny from RDR2. FemShep and Ashley are hugely underrated in the fandom imo - there's a scene in the Citadel DLC where you both get hammered and start a bar fight. Just gals bein dudes. Also Phoenix and Maya from the Ace Attorney series for the 10/10 sibling dynamic and found family wholesomeness.

Favorite game relationship(s): Shepard and Garrus because I'm always a slut for relationships built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect. Also the one in Transistor. You know the one.

Favorite companion banter: gotta be the OG Mass Effect alien squad - Garrus, Wrex, Tali and Liara. I love how their interactions evolve through the games.

A relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: Alistair and the Warden. They got off on the wrong foot initially in my first Origins play-through but he's a sweetheart really.

A minor character you wish could be a companion: every Star Wars game should have a Gonk Droid companion option and that's the tea.

A character you wish you COULD romance: Morrigan. You expect me to believe the swamp witch is straight? Please.

Fun

Shoutout to a random NPC: ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SONOFABITCH IN SPACE.

A game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: the Uncharted series. I'd give anything for a PC port, Sony. ANYTHING.

Love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: literally any horror game. Until Dawn, Dead Space, etc. But even then I never watch them full screen and usually only have one headphone on.

Online gaming or solo?: Solo. The only online game I really play is GTA V because I don't have friends.

Why do you play video games?: I don't read a lot at the moment so they get me my fiction fix, and games like Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley are thereputic. And I just think they're neat.

[morphogenetic]

Yo there!! What is ai the somnium files if I may ask?? The name sounds super familiar! I know its a video game but whats it about? I'd search it up but I don't want to see any spoilers if I decide to play it ;;

anon im surprised that you’re following me for ze (presumably) and DONT know this esp since i’ve been yelling about it a lot sklgdhsdf but:

ai the somnium files is a murder mystery (+ sci-fi game) detective-y point and click adventure game (aka like 99% a vn with puzzle sections)written by the writer of 999/vlr/ztd/ever17/punchline - you don’t need to know ANYTHING about those bc this is standalone! you’re a detective trying to solve a series of serial killings and you go into peoples dreams (somniums) to try to figure out things about the case

also you have an A.I. eye bc of course it’s uchikoshi and everything is a pun

it’s . very hard to describe this game w/out spoilers, and i’m not even done with it yet, but if you’ve played ze you will like this 100%. imagine if uchikoshi wrote an ace attorney game and that’s like 90% of the vibe slkghsdf. also holy SHIT one of the endings wrecked me emotionally its so good if you’ve played any other uchi games you’ll know that he never gets a budget but they actually gave him a budget this time and everything looks REALLY good for a not-triple-A title. you can tell the dev team poured in a lot of love to this game. (also the not-investigating-things-like-ace-attorney sections, the somniums, are essentially puzzle sections, and they do really fucking cool things w the gameplay/storytelling in those and constantly add new mechanics so they never feel stale)

ANYWAY. AI THE SOMNIUM FILES IS A V GOOD GAME PLEASE PLAY IT,

[dgsdescribed]

[ID: The first two images are screenshots of Ashley Graydon/Eggert Benedict from the fan translation of The The Great Ace Attorney. In the first image he stands with a neutral expression. The textbox reads "???: I am... well you can call me Egg Benedict."

The next image is a gif of Benedict as he jumps and wiggles his arms before he dramatically extends his hand to the viewer. The text box then appears; it reads "Benedict: I would ask you to return the coat to me. Now."

The last image is a complication of Tumblr tags. They read: "I don't know this man but I instantly love him.", "aziraphale?", "can't believe ace attorney has not one, but TWO benedict cumberbatches", "this guys mom: welcome to the world... Egg.", "best quality: his wiggles", "Truly a man of elegance and honor and clearly innocent of all crimes", "Why the fuck does this look like the angel from good omens", "#this is how I introduce myself to people too", "#who has a child and thinks #mmmmm egg", "#I cannot stand this man what the fuck #I love him", "#is this jjba", "is egg Benedict ok #like mentally", "#HES JUST WIGGLING", "#me age 6 asking for a glass of water when over my friends house.", "#eggbenedict's jojoposing is foreshadowing and no I will not elaborate", "#~(-_-)~", "#i have no clue who or what this is but that gif is making me lose my mind", "#ive known egg for 5 seconds and id kill for him", "#would yall believe me if i told yall that egg benedict #has an incredibly tragic backstory?", "#This. is the man I am going to marry.", "#I MISS U EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE", "#me going into work asking for my paycheck", "#i know next to nothing about this series but this post makes me lose it every single time", "#this dude's parents named him egg", "#this is the whitest man to ever white that I've seen", "#i love you weird guy egg boy", "#im guessing this is the layton game??", "#I've never played ace attorney so I'm going to assume it's like this all the time" "#IM WEEPING", "#dont know shit about DGS please tell me hes a murderer", "#he's wearing his coat???", "#thanks i hate it", "#I would kill and die for this fancy lad?? I don't know anything about him but I live him", "#every time i see eggs benedict doing his little dance on my dash i know i would die for him", "#*funk music for .15 seconds", "#THE ABSOLUTE DEAD PAN IS WHAT MAKES THIS MAN", "#last thing you see before you die", "#takumi san the mocap gear finally came in #oh. HELL. YES.", "#k yea but can we talk about how this bitch be named egga fucking benedict", "#GOD THAT GIF MAKES ME GO INSANE EVERY TIME", "#i ask that you all remember Him", "#he seems like someone who thinks superwholock is a personality trait", "#isn't that the dude who played sherlock?" End ID]

[the-mf-bread-babies]

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!