#I CANT EXIST NORMALLY NOOOOO

[newsoysauce]

quick tip for trans guys if you have allergies or just in general. don't get tape with transtape's old adhesive. it's just better not to. i have hives all over my back. if it's the only thing they have in stock don't risk it. just don't. it's not worth it.

[quarklynx]

Casually flirting with the idea of fucking around and getting a master's degree. The time will pass anyway, right?

[whispereons]

R U H R O H oh no time to see if murder is a thing for each archon oh BOY did things heat up more cant wait to see if Zhongli or the Geo Archon arrived also NOOOOO THE HILICHURLS THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG!!! THEY DIDNT DESERVE THIS oh man that actually hurts especially because they gave Y/N an actual "normal" moment (i.e sharing drinks with company) without much threat in the air it also hurts more with the "Teyvet seeing Hilichurls as animals rather than people" LIKE OW and more Y/N backstory!!! they never had a chance to have anything nice did they? all in all absolute superb writing 11/10 will read again

Sorry for the late reply, I took a unexpected nap the same time I planned to answer this.

But yes, continue to fear what Zhongli will do because not even I know! (That's a lie, I do but I'll die before giving it up. Not even my editor gets that privilege)

The hilichurl part was something I was trying to hide the build-up for. Some people may not have been too sad over the hilichurl death since we only interacted with them in this chapter. And that's completely okay!

It's meant to be taken in two ways. Either Y/N did such an impulsive thing due to their anger and sadness at the hilichurls death. Or they did it for themself as Shenhe's action showed that even if Reader lived quietly somewhere else, they would still be killed. As if their mere existance was a stain that they want to get rid of.

The inspiration for that line about Teyvat viewing hilichurls like animals was actually about the game mechanics itself. Hilichurls and it's variations fall under the monster (non-human) category, unlike the Fatui etc.

Y/N absolutely did not get to have good things in their life. The importance of their adoptive father will be shown in other flashbacks. As the father was specified to be the only one to show them love, I really mean the ONLY one. After all I never did get to specify how Y/N got into the gang or the confusing line about their birth parents.

Thank you for giving me the excuse to ramble anon! Many more chapters are planned!

[aettuddae]

i think this my first time being late to an update omg…🕷️ anon washed

starting off with business matter first…would it be crazy if i said this was my fav update 😭😭 i loved chapter 92 specifically because it forces serim & rina to both face their feelings (& doubts), intimacy could only go so long as a form of communication b4 they both were left unsatisfied (more so serim) its rlly sad even now karina cant fully accept her feelings using ning as an excuse to let their bond go (not rlly an excuse but how she self sabotage b4 anything could rlly happen) it was such a good chapter and i just like angst (obvs by now)

im rlly worred about ningning in all this tho…whether serim & rina end up together or she ends up with serim (with the knowledge that she will never feel how she feels for jimin) its a lose lose situation for her…unless im reading too much into it and shes not taking her time with serim seriously/just having fun

them saying goodbye to eo was amazingly beautiful i dont even know what to say…bittersweet i guess

KYUIN GIRLFAILURE WE LOVE U ALREADY 🫶🫶 also adding another delulu jimin into my bag thank u 💋 i think i say this about all the friendgroups in ur stories but I LOVE novaHIVI DYNAMIC ALREADY THEY FAMILY (havent stopped thinking about this group either like u cooked so bad here)

the difference between how anthology!kazuha and hole in one!kazuha act dhsbshsnsn

minjeong n milf 👍👍

i just wanna say i liked minkwan…i probably didnt say anything tho cause my peasized brain zeros in on yuri 😕

SUCH A WASTE ON CHITTAPHON NOOOOO U SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LEAVE, THE GAY BOYS NEED LOVE TOO 😭😭 (its also interactive too so the min i figure out how that works im getting my mean gay boy x loser gay girl both being down bad serve idc)

simon says is amazing…we just love father dem jointz over here and we thank god everyday sm passes him around like a groupie in that building

also so many anons are flirting with u now that means u made it…dont forget me when ur famous

- 🕷️

it's literally the end of the deal, it's so important, makes total sense !! and all of the events and circumstances make it more hard for them to be delusional about what they feel, serim couldn't hold it anymore. glad you enjoyed it, even if it was some sad episodes.

yeah, with the new update i just posted 😀 ningning's situation changes a little, since she's actually capable of trying and prioritizing her mental sanity, although it's probably gonna hurt for her in any scenario, she's more aware and ready than the other two

kyuin is a cutie that has barely learnt how to exist in society, we need to protect her 😭 i have already accepted i'm never writing a normal boring jimin, i always have to make her borderline schizophrenic 😔 so happy to hear you like novahivi's dynamic, you always focus on the things that matter to me 😅 i always prioritize the main character's friend groups a lot and i find particularly fun writing novahivi interacting with each other

shut up finally a kazuha that's not attempting to murder anyone (YET) (jokey joke)

minjeong and milf 🫴🏼

OH NOW EVERYONE LIKES MINKWAN GET OUTTA HERE, Y'ALL ARE TOO LATE

this blog is a woman's world i swear, readers don't even support gay men 😔 i will support any idea you have to get the gays thriving and vibing

father demjointz 😭 literally, i owe him so much, has given me my fav kpop songs

i will never forget you, spidey, you're literally my everything

[masculinepotatoes]

so im like. vaguely aware of the existence of happy tree friends. like i know it exists and i get its that 'looks like its for kids but isn't something most adults can handle' thing. but i didn't get it get it cuz i can handle most horror but idk what gets me so much about this show.

warning for graphic gore desc., swearing

so for context, i was kinda just scrolling vaguely through youtube shorts, y'know past all the yaoi and bullshit on there, and i had gotten there from a demon slayer edit on pinterest, so i guess the shit algorithm was like 'omg you like popular songs and kinda edgy stuff!'

so this vid comes up, and i recognize it as happy tree friends cuz ive seen tumblr posts on it, and it was the 'dumb dumb' audio thats been floating through tiktok nonstop

and already i know what the fuck is gonna go down cuz the little bear thing ( i think it was a bear ive kinda blocked the memory out ) motherfucker is on a step stool that's really wobbly, trying to change a lightbulb.

so this dumbass, this fucking buffoon, when the stepladder thing tips, bites down onto the lightbulb, crushing it in his mouth and falling from the stepladder simultaneously.

keep in mind, a really peppy song is playing in the background whilst i am being fucking scarred.

and it shows this frame of this animated bear lying on the ground, screaming, with glass shards all in its fucking teeth

so i scroll, then just kinda sit. yknow digest the shit ive just witnessed.

i can normally handle really bad horror, but for some reason this fucked with me???? and i cant fucking figure out why.

like i rly like movies like midsommar, or books like i have no mouth and i must scream, but nooooo, its the animated bear that fucks with me the most

[mirandamckenni1]

A Bodybuilder Mistook Aphrodisiac For PreWorkout. This Is What Happened To His Brain. Get a 60-day free trial at https://ift.tt/P2kafQ4 Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! Patient JC by Chad Collins, PA Tristyn Smith, Special Thanks to Jena Marx Music by @Lifeformed ► https://ift.tt/Pq1cS4X More music by T4N3 ► https://ift.tt/UJdvuh3 Good Playlist ► https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL26HeTCO57qcMQB6CrU6QRzEi9tt9l1FI Timestamps: 0:00 A Bodybuilder 💪 Mistook An Aphrodisiac 😳 for Pre-Workout Supplement 0:22 JC was getting ready 🏋️ for a show 0:55 A wild 😲 supplement appears 1:35 Hey IRS 💵 we doing research 👨‍🔬 and development 1:50 Good ☁️ powder 2:16 haha preworkout 💪 go glug 😳 glug 3:13 The emergency 🚑 room where we are now 4:07 How does 🌳 do all of these?? 4:50 Rumors of this toxicity... are not exaggerated at all. It's not good. 5:50 Neuro 🧠 transmitters gotta 😳 go 😲 fast 6:48 Inside you(r autonomic nervous system) are 2 wolves (just kidding, they're more nervous systems) 7:27 What happens 😳 here? 8:16 Alpha vs beta (not alpha male vs beta male) 9:11 In the central nervous system 9:47 Feedback 🛑 mechanism (in normal function) 10:51 The CEO of systemic... response to adrenergic agents 11:35 Multiple reports in existence 12:02 "Just pull it out of his body bro" 12:23 An Antidote 🐴 But How 🤔 Did We Find It? 14:45 Yea lets not use that here, but we could use something else 15:15 It takes 5 half lives to reach steady state, but Half Life 3 still isn't 😞 here I don't think anyone reads anything that's written here. But here's for the metadata: this video is explicitly about adrenergic receptors. More specifically, the Alpha subtype, and even more specifically, Alpha 2 Adrenergic Receptors. This thing throws a massive curveball to learners in all medical disciplines because Alpha 2 agonism / antagonism are opposite of Alpha 1. The topic of these receptors can be a few weeks long in a Pharm course in Medical and Pharmacy schools, and that course would be dedicated specifically to cardiac pharmacology, so this is as much I can cover in an 18 minute video. There might be people who will go "nooooo u cant just say that about my tree bark supplement" but the point is and has always been to teach about the pharmacology, its mechanism and how the setting of excess changes the pharmacokinetics-- the agent serves as a means for me to teach that because it has that activity. If it didn't have that activity, I'd talk about something else that does in this setting. It's a fascinating molecule, like all natural products. If you don't need to ingest it, don't ingest it, but I trust you are well in your best capacity to make decisions for yourself. These cases are patients who I, or my colleagues have seen. They are de-identified and many instances have been presented in more depth in an academic setting. These videos are not individual medical advice and are for general educational purposes only. I do not give medical advice over the internet. References: Acute neurotoxicity after yohimbine ingestion by a bodybuilder. https://ift.tt/M3DHSK4 Yohimbine: a clinical review. https://ift.tt/XfCBTg3 Alpha-2 Adrenoreceptor Antagonist Yohimbine Potentiates Consolidation of Conditioned Fear. https://ift.tt/dt4xcQW Adrenergic receptors: structure and function. https://ift.tt/zxQvmMY Biopharmaceutics and metabolism of yohimbine in humans. https://ift.tt/eiJMDm0 Yohimbe bark extract. https://ift.tt/vbfFHqr Yohimbine or NO-himbine? A Potentially Fatal Over-the-Counter Supplement. https://ift.tt/K8R3HXw [PREPRINT] Xylazine is an agonist at kappa opioid receptors and exhibits sex-specific responses to naloxone administration. https://ift.tt/2z5uyeO Xylazine, an Emerging Adulterant. https://ift.tt/6luNWR8 Yohimbine. https://ift.tt/ECsDGQ5 via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmT7njYx3MY

[ze-maki-nin]

Venus & error fanfiction will exist soon /hj

BUT OH NO :( me you n zt are all sick :((

And I'd say sick before I'd say meds bc meds don't fuck you that quick ykyk? Like even mine didn't fuck me that quick HDJDJS

But yea!! It does take like, anywhere from 2-8 weeks for meds to get normal with our systems n all so give it time, just stick to being sick yk?

BUT HEHE imma give you bites bc if you're hurting somewhere else your head won't hurt /j

ʚ♡ɞ

i cant wait for it then lol

nooooo we're sick T~T we suffer together :,)

ya when i first started my first meds (i had to get them changed) i couldn't sleep at all frakjeb

so if the meds are affecting me this quick i honestly wouldnt be surprised lol

sick sick lol

bvuiek you go nom nom lol

[soulemissary]

i am so nervous on social media that i've stopped liking posts on instagram for god's sake. like if i like ur personal posts on here i either think u seem very approachable/i think of u as a friend

[doggerell]

for that music ask thing, 6, 14, and 20?

6 - song that makes me sad

OH I COULDVE BEEN NORMAL ABT THIS BUT I PUT ON MY SADBOY PLAYLIST AND NOOOOO. either Cleveland, OH or Baby. both shatter me but Cleveland, Oh is like. instantaneous impact while Baby like…. takes a little bit but its one of those songs I cant listen to without crying. ACTUALLY FUCK OFF. HERE I DREAMT I WAS AN ARCHITECT songs you try to apply to ocs or ships that actually work but still Never stop devastating you over your own issues

14 - song that inspires you

gotta go with Tu Tu Neurotic and Redbone because of the massive impact they have on my wip 💚💚💚💚 I dont think Stagnant Town would exist in the same capacity without “Faggot hides outside the closet/Out the house then off too college” LMAO and Redbone is like. Scions impact to it. collaborative art 💚

20 - screaming songs!!!!!

I appreciate how much everyone wants me to Yell 💚 I can def lose my voice to WasteUrTime most evil songs of time jesus Christ!!!! I just get increasingly intense and deepen my voice the longer it goes so by “I understand what you've been through/'Cause I'm a sorry sucker too/I know you're scared and that's alright just/Let me love you for the night!” I get pretty loud and deep LAWL

[thisnameisquitequeer]

Could you guys stop dumping on a half asian stepchild having a romance ship canonically in a show. THIS IS FREAKING STILL RARE! And im sorry you couldnt have your malefemale friendship because youre white or ace and cant see this ship still pushes bounderies

I don’t normally reply to anons but you’re making a WHOLE LOTTA assumptions about me based on one vague post I made so I’m gonna reply.

1. Media is allowed to be criticized, I don’t think « aw man, this show did this thing I don’t like that EVERY KIDS SHOW DOES » would be considered « dumping ». This is literally the only thing I’ve said on the subject. Unless people are being openly bigoted or racist your thought process is a pretty big reach.

2. You don’t know me. You don’t know if I’m white or I’m ace so you’re just assuming that I am bc I don’t like a ship you like ? You don’t know my reasoning for disliking this trope, which has nothing to do with my race or sexuality and more to do with the fact that society convinces people men and women can’t just be friends and making every story HAVE to have them together re-enforces that idea. Maybe you shouldn’t assume people’s backgrounds and thought processes based off of a comment they made on a cartoon

3. Callum is rare by existing in general, your comment that I should like/can’t critique his relationship as a story element/trope just because it can be seen as progressive is strange. Do you think that any story that has any progressive elements should be blindly consumed with no commentary?

4. Again, this is an issue I have with LOTS of kids shows. If you go back to my original post I also tagged it as star vs the forces of the universe. I also could have tagged it as Kim Possible or Frozen or any other story I’ve watched with a friendship that has to be turned into a romance because a boy and a girl??? Friends??? Nooooo, a boy and a girl that spend any amount of time alone HAVE to be in love!

5. As I said in the tags in the original post, you are allowed to like whatever ship you like, I don’t care. I’m not going to foam at the mouth bc you like a ship I don’t like. But I am so tired of fandoms not criticizing story elements or plot structure bc their ship became canon and that’s all that matters to them. And then GOD FORBID you say anything against it because then you’re just an anti or random people decide to message you and come up with reasons you’re not « woke » enough I guess?

Anyways all this is to say; you don’t know me, you don’t know my reasoning, you’re assuming my identity and putting words in my mouth, and I’m not interested in talking more with someone who would make all these assumptions about someone they’ve never spoken with before so bye

[groundramon]

Hypothesis: Pokemon Home’s galar-region limitation may be due less so to the Pokemon themselves and moreso due to a re-structuring of the different moves.  Given that the models and data for all the Pokemon already exist, it wouldn’t be that hard to implement them into SWSH unless they’re really that lazy or are trying to cut out old abilities and moves.  Perhaps it could also have something to do with camping, but even then, a lot of that could be imported over from Pokemon Refresh, couldn’t it?

I think people are going to make a big stink about this tbh, and they’ll either make (probably paid) DLC or they’ll delay the games.  Really hoping they’ll just delay them, this shit is by far the most disappointing part of SWSH so far minus Game Freak’s inability to design normal-looking black women characters since Unova if that (which, fair, they do have “game” and “freak” in the name, but still).  At least Nessa still seems like a fun character.  God damn it gamefreak I wanted to get into competitive battling with my shinies but nooooo the only one I know I can transfer is my Braviary, everyone else is Good Fucking Luck

Like cmon, you cant transfer event pokemon, you probably wont be able to transfer STARTERS from older generations.  If they at least include the starters or the pokedex has like everything except maybe...I dunno, ultra beasts?  I can tolerate that, but the fucking starters?  Christ.  Fuck this shit.

[ujuro]

this is my running list that i have kept in my drafts all year of things that i wanted from kpop in 2018. some are kind of vague but honestly which groups were “successful” and which weren’t is really obvious because the “unsuccessful” ones just didnt come back at all ugh

long post here we go

things i wanted from this year:

-success for wjsn: my girls got a win and their best-selling album yet so we’re on a roll now. but im somewhat worried because a lot of it comes from the new fame of c-line and between you and me i...dont think theyre ever coming back. prove me wrong yuehua.

-success for loona- is a debut mini selling over 50,000 copies success? ya know there are people that will say that based on how expensive and long their debut project was that everything was a flop and loona’s doomed but i dont really think that way. when lookin at it strictly as an actual debut they did great. i love my girls.

-success for clc- we’ll never know if anything could have come from a comeback after black dress because CUUUUUBBBBEEEEEE but im not salty or anything nooooo

-success for dreamcatcher: happyface and i think the girls themselves realize that their concept will never be mainstream but ya know what? my girls had a good year! they’re working hard and building a fanbase and theres nothing more i can ask for really

-someone please pay attention to sonamoo please: FUCK TS

-same for gugudan this is depressing: i dont know how their last comeback did but it seems like they kind of staying the same which is sad because gugudan probably ranks the highest of post ioi groups in terms of raw talent and consistently good music. stan my girl nayoung. 

-weme and pristin to actually get non-controversial actually good title tracks so we can put all of that to rest (though i’d die for wee woo don’t fuckin try it):  crush was well liked so we got that but FUCKIN PLEDIS OH MY GOD IM SO MAD IDEC THAT GET IT WAS GOOD THEY DIDNT GET A NON-CONTROVERSIAL TITLE TRACK THEY DIDNT GET ON AT ALL and NO PRISTIN V DOES NOT MAKE UP FOR IT FUCKIN PLEDIS anyway

-news on after school….any news…free them…: WELL lizzy is was freed and kaeun is in limbo (more on her later). now all we need is eyoung to be freed and i can sleep better. 

-news on secret: the news is that TS is a shitshow but what else is new. at least hyosung and jieun were freed.

 -FX COMEBACK- GODDAMNIT

 -Shinee to be happy and healthy: this is sort of a wish because i can never really know if they’re happy but in terms of what i can judge aka content this was a great shinee year. minho solo when

-9muses comeback PLEASE: got a great kyungri solo debut and it aint over till hyemi says its over but please one more comeback PLEASE

-aoa comeback: FUCK ALL OF THE HATERS BINGLE BANGLE RULES AND U ALL SAID THEY WOULD FAIL WITHOUT CHOA HA

-hello venus comeback: LOOK i know fantagio is a mess but they managed to gave their other groups a comeback COME THE FUCK ON

-for companies to just stop kidding themselves and disband dal shabet and bestie: with woohee gones dal shabet is over and im pretty sure bestie’s company doesn’t exist anymore so i guess thats solved

-solji to come back to exid: YEEEESSSSSS OUR MOTHER AND QUEEN IS BACK

-more non-taeyeon snsd solos (and a taeyeon one too thatd be great): fuck solos we actually got lil touch i didnt see that coming at all. oh AND a bunch of solos too snsd had to die so snsd could live i guess.

-any post-ioi group to get a win: Dia and wjsn! 

-ladies code comeback (or at least a hint at group activity): the hint came from a christmas song so i should be happy however i am unsatisfied. 

-t-ara news: the news is theyre being secretive in between solo work c’mon hyomin give up your plans

-fiestar news-disbanded and im still sad

-brown eyed girls comeback: someday...i have hope...i know they want to...

-LEE HI COMEBACK: FUCK YG but that goes without saying

-deleted a stupid one sorry gyus

-yoongi singing: lol im not even into bts anymore but i still like yoongi and seesaw is still a banger great job my dude

-kaeun to get into the produce48 group: hmph. normally i wouldnt be worried with her high place and the hype like it should be easy to give her something to do right? however this is pledies we’re talking about so i can only hope that what lizzy said and the rumors of her joining a new girl group come true. argh why pledis id even trust her with cube over them look at soyeon

-girls day comeback: see brown eye girls above

-a not terrible produce 48 group k at least put hitomi in it: I love izone i got over my hangups with the lineup real quick and now cringe at grown-ass adults still going off about a fourteen-year-old. like y’all. you can stan the group its fine they’re nice and talented girls. i swear. you’ll like them. hyewon is my queen. i still find wonyoung too young to connect with (im finding now that im too old to truly bias any idol under 16 or even 17. yujin is fifteen but she’s near the middle of my izone bias list.) but ya know what? its fine. theres 11 other girls to like. la vie en rose is a bop. sakura i love you. that is all.

-PLEASE EX 2NE1 MEMBERS DO SOMETHIN; minzy’s touring and bom of all people seems likely to release solo work before cl but like. its sad man i dont really consider this one done. fuck yg.

-fuck an fx comeback someone just tell me if they’re alive: can i even answer this one i dont know i think i was mad when i wrote it

-some kind of jbj/ibi like group from produce 48: Nope, probably unlikely due to the difficulties of getting any akb girls over there (i follow all of the contestants on instragram and they all seem pretty busy like miu and sae and miho and miru have actual shit to do). but i can dream.

...

alright out of approximately 30 wishes (i cant count) about half of them (i cant count) were at least partially fulfilled. this year was great for a lot of groups i like but not really for my 2nd gen and post-ioi faves. all of my absolute fave stuff came from groups that didnt even exist last year- fromis, idle, and izone. 

how do i even react to all of this im feeling to many emotions. moral of the story: fuck kpop companies the end

[tumblunni]

Oh fuck i cant stand this

Ive already almost used up my damn mobile data again and i only bought it yesterday. Fuck i want to go home. You guys are like the only comfort i have here and i dunno what im gonna do when i cant message you again

Fuckin hell stupid shit day! I was supposed to go to a therapy class thing today but the stupid bus went past where my abusive father lives and i had a MASSIVE FREAKOUT and had to go home and then ofcourse to go home you have to go back on the stupid same bus!! I fuckib failed and wasted the doctor's time and he had to grab me to stop me from running off the bus crying and back to fuckin hell dad's house because im shit and i deserve everything he ever did to me

AND THEN fuckin same doctor continues the relentless constant tide of everyone misgendering me and making crass transphobic jokes

"You see you've gotta understand the other opinion" he says, as if trans people werent fuckin raised SURROUNDED by cis people's predjudiced opinion of us and taught it was fact. As if it didnt take me SO MUCH WORK to even become confident enough to stand up for myself! I've gotta see the 'other opinion' that "yknow well families and children use public bathrooms and theyre scared trans people will molest their children so its understandable they want to kick you out or even act violent to you". Yknow the OTHER OPINION that MY OPINION DOESNT MATTER and also MY ENTIRE EXISTANCE IS A CRIME but i'm the one being predjudiced for not accepting that OPINION, right?! Im here trying to tell him that no that isnt rational because there have been LITERALLY NO RECORDED CASES of trans people molesting children in public bathrooms, or even "evil men faking being trans" to do the same thing. There's been more cases of actual cis men breaking into women's bathrooms to drag women out for merely LOOKING trans. More cis women have been harassed because of anti trans laws than they ever did before! But hey "respect that other opinion", right? And also "at least its not as bad as russia" and "but gay pride is everywhere now, that one footballer had rainbow shoelaces." Hey wow i never noticed that not only was homophobia totally over but also transphobia was remotely related to that! Wow! I seriously had to bring out the fuckin 1600s historical investigation on pre-british olde englishe that showed the existance of a gender neutral pronoun before the word "he" ever existed, and the existance of transgender pride and pronoun discussions in the 1800s before the word transgender was even popularized. I cant believe i fuckin had to do a 'show your sources that queer people existed before the internet' IN REAL LIFE. WITH A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I can point at the damn NHS website but nooooo!

Oh and yknow what got me the most? YKNOW WHAT GOT ME THE MOST?? "We have sick people here, you cant expect them to remember stuff like that. Dont ruin their recovery by bringing up stuff like that." Like..fuckin..IM A FUCKIN PATIENT TOO. I wasnt even asking the other patients to stop hurting me i was asking you the staff to maybe consider it! And seriously you want me to be so super ultra perpetually prepared and perpetually rational and able to keep my existance secret and out of every conversation yet theyre too ill to learn about lgbt people existing? Just a sentence would be too painful? And me living every day being misgendered doesnt impact my ability to recover at all, eh? Fuckin shitting fuck hell.

And i hate it i HATE IT because he's being nice so i'll be the bad guy if i complain. Likehe fuckin..doesnt even know he's being rude and doesnt want to consider the idea. He says 'i dont like your tone' if i suggest the concept and FUCK in that moment i was so fuckin scared he was gonna hit me like my dad did. Or at tge very least kick me out of the hospital if i dont cooperate with him. He just fuckin..thinks he's perfectly unbiased and accepts everyone and "oh but i like to make fun of everyone equally". And i even fuckin raised the subject that people who say that often only make fun of minorities and never themselves, the majority, or major power structures. And he's just like 'yeah yeh i hate people like that'. Whoosh. Rigjt over the head. God i wasnt even TRYING to be passive aggressive i was trying tk outright tell him why what he said was upsetting me but NOPE. Trying to explain how its just so hard and tiring to have to verrrrrry patientlyyyyy explain yourself to EVERYONE EVERY DAY CONSTANTLY while they sling loads of rude words at you and it should be just allowed because they 'dont know better'. Like you ask me to educate you but at the same time im rude if i actually tell you?? And god i also tried to explain how the fuckin bathroom violence thing isnt an example of 'educating another opinion' AGAIN by saying like... If someone just asked me to explain being transgender i would. If someone just said they were uncomfortable i would leave. That's 'another opinion'. Reacting with slurs and violence to a trans person existing and not doing anything to you is not 'another opinion' and its not someone who 'just didnt know'. He was seriously trying to argue that it WASNT BIGOTED it was just someone rationally being afraid for their children because of a danger that doesnt exist, and rationally reacting with extreme violence rather than doing anything else. Rationally. RATIONALLY. oh just MISTAKENLY committing a hate crime! Cos they just didnt know trans people exist! Not cos they hate us! Oh no! Yeah sure we totally have a fucking DUTY to educate these POOR UNKNOWING PEOPLE while theyre attacking us, and its our damn fault if we didnt...

And just fucking FUCK i hate how someone can say all that stuff and still be "nice" and still not hate me personally? Like its so messed up?? He's not anti trans or anything he just has so much more damn sympathy for cis people than trans people, and puts all the onus on us to somehow prevent our own murders. And he thinks that "i dont have a problem with trans people" means doing LITERALLY NOTHING to change your behaviour to make trans people feel accepted. They should just magically know that your jokes are jokes when theyre surrounded by so many people saying it honestly, in CONSTANT FEAR OF THAT EXACT THING LEADING TO VIOLENCE. And like in order to be "a guy who has no problem with trans people" he has to do nothing, while in order for me to be not bigoted against HIM it means i have to never get offended by his jokes and also never talk about myself and also constantly educate him about things because he doesnt want to learn, even though he works in a hospital thats supposed to have an anti discrimination policy. Like fuckin just NOT HURTING LGBT PEOPLE doesnt make you discrimination free, shit like telling me to misgender myself because my pronouns would confuse the other patients is kinda fuckin fucked up. Also "that's a question for later" is all i CONSTANTLY get when it comes to talking about legal name changes or therapy or even just talking to an lgbt support group. I have to wait until i stop being depressed because oh no im talking about too many mental illnesses at once. Its been seven years and i havent fuckin stopped being depressed, bitch! Ever consider a fuckin symptom of gender dysphoria is a big ol fat depression!!! And just gahhhhh he was so fuckin baffled and angry that i would dare to get emotional about the subject?? Like he just saw DEBATING WHETHER TRANS PEOPLE ARE REAL and WHETHER PEOPLE WHO MURDER THEM FOR USING THE BATHROOM ARE JUSTIFIED as a perfectly normal casual discussion that a Non Transphobic Man could have with his transgender friend. Why oh why would i cry about this casual hypothetical discussion? Hey its not like it fuckin affects me directly! "Well its never happened to you right?" A Ha Ha Ha Ha. Also fuckin "so which bathroom do you use?" and "well you're not really transgender if youre not getting the surgery-oh wait you do want the surgery? How does that work then?" I swear i could just see the gears turning in his head and he was about to say "do you want both down there". Gahhhhhh *cringes myself into a tiny tumbleweed and blows away*

Also the entire time he kept calling being trans a sexuality and also asexuality. "No youre not trans youre asexual right?" Yeah sure ive just been saying im trans and saying im not a girl and wearing a chest binder and talking this entire conversation about my experiences as a trans person in public bathrooms just to pull an elaborate prank on you. And like i know what he meant is that he thought the word for nonbinary was asexual (has asexuality REALLY made so little progress towards getting into the sex ed curriculum in the entire 25 years of my life?) But like seriously he was like "youre not really trans if youre nonbinary". And then fuck dude i dont wanna explain how surgery works to you!! And especially not also my entirely unrelated sexuality that has entirely different equally upsetting predjudices!

Ans gahhhh fuck i just got no sympathy for crying and he acted as if it was just some wildly unexpected occurance he never could have predicted. And i hate it cos he's nice to me whenever the subject is about anything else. I cant get any symoathey from ANYONE because he's A NICE GUY and why dont i just understaaaaaand other opinionnnnnns

I wanted to fuckin quit this whole thing on the spot and go home. Only reason i cant is because my support worker is off work until thursday auauauaughhh

Fuck at least one positive i guess is that ive made progress in the social anxiety or at least gotten better at giving the impression im making progress. Cos i want to LEAVE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. And also fuck all my other worries seem less suicide-inducing when im actually getting the closest ive ever been to killing myself on a daily basis because of a stupid other thing that i never could have predicted. Go here for one form of self hate, come home with another! Yayyyyy

And fuck i havent even made a single bit of progress on drawing or writing anything and i cant practise making ganes cos my laptop cant run rpgmaker and i havent even started reading my giant pile of books cos they fuckin LOOK THROUGH THE WINDOW EVERY SINGLE HOUR TO MAKE SURE YOU AINT KILLED YOURSELF. i have no fuckin pribacy and its making me wanna kill myself even more!! I just live constantly on edge looking at the fuckin door window and i cant even do anything to distract myself because im too scared of them looking at me!! Or barging in at no notice to tell me i have to do some big stressful thing RIGHT NOW because i dont even get advance notice of anything aaaa! And fuck i dont have anywhere to go to even calm down from a panic attack cos i have no privacy so at least im getting over being scared of going outside cos outside is the only place i can go to cry. Fuckin strangers in the crowd at least wont cause shit if they see me.

Fuck i want to go home. Fuck i wish i had enough money to keep buying mobile internet. Its like fuckin 750mb a day to run tumblr but its all ive got to talk to any person who doesnt hate me or patronize me or think im faking a bunch of shit or whatever the fuck. And im not even any fun to be around when im like this so im probably just ruining your day too. And im probably gonna vanish again soon and then just go back to crying alone and getting worse and probably never being able to leave

I knew it was gonna be stressdul but i didnt predict any of this.. I just wanna fuckin die. I wanted to jump out the car and go to my old dad's house and have him pull open the door and slap me around a bit. Like call me a fucking dyke, call me a sick retard, be honest about your feelings! I'd fuckin take being abused over this "oh youre the bad one for being mad because i had goooood intentions" reverse psychology bigotry from hell. Either these people are evil geniuses or theyre even more stupid like me. Fuckin shit dad please manifest in my room and slap me, killing me instantly. I feel like being scared of you would at least be a faster emotion than this nebulous sensation of confusing unease and dysphoria 24/7 for 6 fuckin months. One week done, haha! Hahahabahahahahahahahahahahahahshahahahahahshshshahshahahahhahahaaaa

[theperfectblonde]

Like thank god I was able to distract myself from food, I’ve probably gone almost 12 hours without already, but I had a fuck ton of McDonald’s earlier today bc I was with my brother and then my mom came home and BROUGHT ME FUCKING LEFTOVERS.

like I can’t take it. They’re being so nice but if I so much as acknowledge that food exists I fucking gain and it takes a whole fucking week just to get back down to where I was. It’s fucking insufferable like I am SO borderline going back to even more toxic ways of dealing with this. I just want to live a life where I have a normal relationship with food but I CANT DO THAT until my body fucking wakes up and gets with the program. Like I WILL NOT FUCKING stay at this weight. If I was 145lbs then this wouldn’t be so bad but fucking nooooo let’s just stay at the SAME FUCKING GODDAMN WEIGHT FOR THE REST OF OUR FUCKING LIVES I GUESS. No matter how much fucking time and effort were sinking into this. Waste everything except waste away. Fucking terrific.

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 24} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received in the hours before IWSY was posted ^^)

Anonymous said: So I'm an English teacher living in China and every Wednesday I wake up at dawn just to read the newest update of IWSY! I loveeeee it!!!!!

That’s so awesome that you’re an English teacher in China! I really miss being an English teacher in Japan *cries* I can’t wait to do it again! But oh my goodness I feel bad that you wake up at dawn x.x I hope you manage to get a good sleep the night before or at least take a nap during the day! Thank you so much my love ^^

Anonymous said: Really quick! You are amazing and your writing IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I have ever laid eyes on, my day today is scheduled around your your update! And 2 I always think of Boys Over Flowers when i see the word paradise 😂

Thank you so much my love, I fan girled so hard when you said that your day is scheduled around my update aahhh *hides* AND OMG YES “ALMOST PARAAAADIIIIISSSEEEEE” that was both the best and most annoying song every during that drama...it would have been better if they didn’t play it every 2 seconds lolol

Anonymous said: ITS TONIGHTTTT!! I REALLY CANT WAITTT 🙈🙈💞🔥

YES IT’S TONIGHT GET READY!!

Anonymous said: Hey Sara! I just want to say that IWSY is the best work that I've read in my 13 years of existence! You're really 대박! BTW, in my country you update every Wednesday 😂 Because I think when it's Wednesday here in Philippines it's actually Tuesday their. So lots of love from Philippines!! 💕💕😍😍

Omg hello to Philippines!! I really wanna go to Philippines someday, it looks so wonderful and I always hear about how the weather is always amazing :) Oh my god you’re thirteEN AND YOU READ MY SMUT I *faints* please make good decisions in life lol I beg you xD Anyway, thank you so much for reading and liking IWSY ^^ That means so much to me!

@talkmemeytome said: I love the iwsy series so much NICE ONE SARA and your other ones are amazing too ILY JFTJH

Thank you very much my love, I’m so happy that you like what I write! I love you too :)

Anonymous said: OK BUT IMAGINE IF VAMP!JUNGKOOK WAS GOING TO BE A DAD HE'D BE SO PROTECTIVE OF HER AND JUST A BALL OF SQUISH WHEN THEY'RE ALONE THO????????? WOW MY HEART

WOW WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I’M ALREADY A HORMONAL EMOTION WRECK TODAY AND YOU JUST HIT ME RIGHT IN THE WOMB GOD DAMN IT :(

Anonymous said: iwsy is actually one of the best fanfictions i have ever ever read!!!!! i am so excited for this weeks update — thank you for being such a talented writer 🌹

You’re too kind to me, honestly. But I appreciate you so much for saying such wonderful things. I hope you enjoy tonight’s update my love, thank you so much!

@mocking-butts said: Mumsyyyyy I'm so excited for today I'm checking my phone constantly I know I will cry over this chapter dear lord I'm in need of help~!

Ahhhh I hope you enjoy the chapter! I had so much fun writing it :3 I can’t wait to hear what you think! ^^

@im-that-chesire-jax said: AGHHHHHHHH

Is that a cry of frustration I hear

Anonymous said: what are you trying to do to me!!! chapter 24!!! I can't even... holy shii the emotion roller coaster that is this fanfic

I didn’t do anything I swear! TT I hope you enjoyed it :3

Anonymous said: Tbh sometimes I have to reread some of the chapters of IWSY because it's so much to take in!!

That’s a good thing! I often get scared when I see people send in an ask SO QUICKLY after I post the chapter cos i’m like “there’s no way in HELL you read ALL of that and took in ALL the information in 5 minutes...” lol because I do put in a lot of detail and information and for someone who was to speed read it...I think it would be less enjoyable for them that way :(

@mocking-butts said: WAIT WHAT NO WHAT IS THIS NOOOOO IM SCREAMING NOOOOO MUMSY WHY IM NOW IN THE CORNER CRYING NOOOO I CANT BREATHE IT NEEDS TO BE NEXT WEEK!

You’re welcome my child *evil laugh* thank you so much for reading it!!

Anonymous said: I..Omg..WHY?! I want to cry..Yoongi better not hurt Y/N or I swear to God. Thank you for updating. Everything was going so smoothly and just BAM, it's like a punch in the face ;A; I hope Y/N will be okay.. -Kira Anon

You’re so welcome for the update Kira anon and thank you so much for reading the new chapter! And yes - just as the quote in the description referred to, I truly wanted to capture the essence of ‘the calm before the storm’ hehe ^^

Anonymous said: Sara!!!!! How could you do this to me? I. Cannot. Deal. With. This. U.K. Anon

I apologise for doing to you whatever I did! I hope you enjoyed the chapter my love :D

Anonymous said: Even though she was being careless in the last chapter, i really love the character Y/N. I love how inteligent you made her, but also shy yet feisty. She's not an annoying and whiny character, not Too Bold not Too Shy. I really love it! I love how both she and JK can have mature conversations about everything. I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH AHH i just. wow. I've been reading it since part 1 and i cant believe its been so long already!

Thank you so much, you’ve no idea how much that means to me! I wanted to try and make Y/N with as much transparency as possible - but with enough character to build upon so that it sets her as ‘part of the cast’ you know? Thank you so much for reading it and staying with it since part one, that means the world to me! And IKR! 24 weeks...damn. I knew that this series was going to be longer than expected after the 4th chapter, but I wasn’t expecting to get so carried away like this xD hehe THANKYOU once again my love ^^

@bangtangurlarmy said: SHIT PART 24 HAD ME CLUTCHING ON TO MY BLANKET BECAUSE I KNEW SOMETHING HORRID WOULD HAPPEN AMD I WILL SHAMELESSLY ADMIT I SOBBED THE MOMENT I READ THE DETAILS OF TAE TRYING TO WILL YOU TO TURN AROUND. IM SO SENSITIVE TO THIS SERIES. OH MY GOD. I JUST CANNOT WAIT FOR THE HAPPY ENDING ALREADY BECAUSE NO. I HATE ANGST. BUT I LIVE FOR IT AS WELL. AWESOME CHAPTER SARA😭

NO DON’T CRY DON’T SOB IT’S OKAY TT I wish I could tell you how it ends but I don’t want to spoil it for you :( AHHH thank you so much once again for reading the new chapter and I’m really happy you thought it was awesome!! ^^

Anonymous said: So uhm.. this may sound weird and dirty? and maybe not fitting? but UHM... I loved it when jungkook came inside Y/N. Filling her up with /his/ seeds. And then the talk about children.. when his heart became so warm to even think about the woman he loves carrying his little goofballs. I just get so giggly and excited to know Y/N is now carrying his seeds and the possibility of them going at it again without a condom.. and her really getting pregnant. They'd be such great parents T_T

NO OMG IT’S NOT WEIRD AND DIRTY lol you’re fine! Actually - this is probably tmi and probably no one knows this about me. But...it’s kind of a huuuuuge kink of mine? Like - of course I am on the contraceptive pill bc I am not at a stage to support myself and a possible baby having complete unprotected sex lol but a kink of mine is exactly that ^^ So don’t worry! It’s a completely normal thing to love :D And yes they would be such great parents I think :3 hehe

Anonymous said: Fuuuuuuckkkkkkinnnggggg cliff hanger gosh diggity darn it I really don't know how I'm gonna wait another week to find out what happens next. You're too good that this. 😱😑😠hahaha

You know it ;) hehe~ Thank you so much for reading my love!

Anonymous said: Aah ._. I just read the newest Chapter of IWSY and now I don't think I can go to sleep in peace ._. Why do your writings have to be so well described and giving me all the emotions T^T You're amazing though <3

Aww I hope you manage to get some sleep TT Sleep is important!! But thank you so much for liking the detail and all the emotions :3 That makes me really happy to hear! And hey - you’re more amazing, I promise you ^^ hehe Thank you once again love!

@animeimmortal said: God damnit. It had to go that way. God it had to -.- Oml the second she got the call saying "let us in" I knew something was up cuuz if it wasn't then they would just have called throu the thing I am so angry @ Y/N (myself) god so stupid so effin stupid lord Jesus Christ idiot ❤ your taken for writing is amazing. Like lord save me really the amount of little detail you put in there ❤❤❤

It definitely did have to go that way! heh~ It’s never all sunshine and rainbows in this house! xD Thank you so much for reading it and for taking time to notice all the little details I put in there ^^ I really appreciate that love ^^

Anonymous said: SARA IM FREAKING CRYING HOW COULD YOU DO THAT OMG IT WAS ALL NICE AND FLUFFY AND I THOUGHT MY EMOTIONS WERE SAFE FOR A WEEK BUT NO WHAT THE HECK WHY

YOU WOULDA THOUGHT ;D hehe NO EMOTIONS ARE EVER SAFE!!

@mysr3 said: Sara U Know I hold my phone since 1pm (9pm UK), so I can read when u post it! That how bad U got me wit IWSY🙈 U seriously have all emotions hit me wit this PT! Poor Tae n Jimin. JK will be so Pissed! Can Tmr be Tues again? Can we talk about JK n Y/N sweet moments? This is a relationship Goal! JK is so sweet! I know U will leave us with cliff hanger but this week is lit ToO MuCh Dont U think? Now let me cry in silent til next Tues! Thank you LuV! I Love You❤ Send u Big Hug! Have a Good Day!

Oh my god you’re so cute asdfghjk I’m so glad I could hit you with all the emotions with this chapter :3 And ikr? When can I have a relationship like VampKook and Y/N?? D: I want it now! lol It’s never too much for a cliffhanger, you should know me better by now :3 hehe I love you too my dear and I hope you have a great day as well!! *hugs back* thank you so so so much!!

Anonymous said: *sobs* poor tae... anD YOU *points finger* Le quEEN OF CLIFFHANGERS, AN AMAZING CHAPTER ONCE AGAIN

LE QUEEN OF CLIFFHANGERS HEHE *runs away* what did I do? :3 lol thank you so much my love ^^

Anonymous said: OMG SARA IM SCREAMING WHAT WAS THAT OMG FUCK

WAT HAPPEN

@theninjachan said: "Monday morning came after another night of Jungkook pushing you towards several highs in several different locations throughout his Manor– starting with the living room, going on to against one of the walls in his hallway, and ending in his bedroom as it usually did.   okay GOALS

Goals as fuCK GIVE ME THAT ANY DAY PLEASE. I’M SINGLE AND MY P***Y IS READY TO MINGLE (just kidding I’m as shy as a fucking pigeon goodnight)

Anonymous said: I'm currently bed ridden with the flu. So what's the only thing I do? Reread IWSY and the rest of your imagines. :D It's the best medicine. 💕

Oh no! :( I really hope you get better soon...having the flu sucks but I hope that you’re taking good care of yourself and taking medicine regularly and eating yummy soup ^^ I’m glad that IWSY and my writing can make having the flu a little more bearable. Thank you so much and I’m sending lots of healing thoughts your way!

Anonymous said: I know it's probs not gonna happen, coz ya know yoongi is supposed to be the evil guy, but I can't help but think what a twist it would be if once he captures her he begins to get feelings for her just like jungkook did.... THAT WOULD BE SO COOL 😎

I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN *wonders* HMMMM :3

Anonymous said: You mentioned beauty and the beast and I was wondering if you had seen the movie, or if you included as more of a coincidence?

I did mention it! But actually, I haven’t seen the new live action movie yet - although I really want to! I’ll forever be a fan of the original Disney animation though, I don’t think even Emma Watson could win me over it hehe~ But I’ve used the beauty and the beast analogy for the IWSY series before~ so it is just purely a coincidence that the movie was released at the same time!

Anonymous said: Y'know, I should've known that something was gonna go wrong in this chapter, but I was like 'Nah, my good author friend would NEVER do that. Especially when I'm emotionally distraught.' and you gave me fluff. And I was happy. AND THEN THIS BANANA SPLIT HAPPENS. UNBELIEVABLE. I TAKE IT BACK. I'M STILL MAD AT YOU >:( - love Vampnip anon

BANANA SPLIT LMFAO VAMPNIP ANON WHY DO YOU ALWAYS REDUCE ME TO TEARS OF LAUGHTER I SWEAR TO GOD CHILD YJHVBSBDGKAJG Please don’t be mad at me, I love you very very much ;c

Anonymous said: I knew it aaalll along! Leaving her alone wasn't a good idea in the first place T.T But hey, the good point is that we'll see Jungkook savior's mode and I'm exciteeeeeeeed

Hmmm yes, indeed! I wonder what our Prince will do?! :3

Anonymous said: Omfg. WHY COULDN'T I JUST CALL KOOKIE! WHY AM I SO UGHHHH?! Love the cuddles and his departure was too cute. XD BUT STILL TnT  SARA WAEEEEE~ -Anon that pulled her friend into kpop(aka anon+friend⚇)

I’m not sure but I’m assuming that it would be hard to pull one’s phone out and dial for help when one has just been chloroformed :P BUT YES she should have called Kookie in the beginning when Tae asked her to come outside to confirm with him~ But she was too headstrong for her own goo! Thank you so much anon who pulled her friend into kpop! I hope you’re both enjoying the series ^^

Anonymous said: istg ur ff IWSY is hands down one of the best ive ever read! omg ive been a silent reader all this time and it is truly a pain in the ass to have to wait for the next chapter ugh bUT GIRL U KNOW HOW TO TRILL MY NERVES LIKE IN THIS CHAP 24 HOW I WISH TMR IS TUESDAY AGAIN </3 pls keep on going with more fluff!! and beb just so u know theres someone whos constantly waiting for ur update & love ur stories!

Ahh thank you from the bottom of my heart for that! That’s so sweet :3 I know it’s a pain to have to wait a week for the next chapter but at least you definitely know it will be uploaded at the same time! ^^ Thank you so so so much and I hope you’ll enjoy more to come!! c:

@koreaisanaddiction said: SARS!!! what have you done to meeeeeee!!! FUCK!!!! im going to be trying to solve this now for the next week!

Solve away :3 thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: NO READER NO i knew it was a bad idea, i could taste it wHY?!?! poor kookie is gonna be mortified... i feel so bad for tae, too! i mean, he obviously didn't want to do it but he didn't want jiminnie to die. i really hope jungkook won't hate him... i'm a mess help

Let’s hope everything turns out okay in the end! :3 thank you my love ^^

Anonymous said: The whole time at the end of IWSY I was thinking "NO! CALL JUNGKOOK OMG STOP!" You're such a great author I can't wait to see where this leads! 💕 I can't wait for next Tuesday

Yes she should have rang Jungkook but she was too headstrong! Silly girl ^^ Thank you so much :D

Anonymous said: OMG SARA IM JUNGSHOOK wow I cant wait for next week ! Also if Vampires cant enter a house without being allowed to how come yoongi was able to come into Y/N s house to murder her family 🤔 --wifey anon 💕

Because her brother Cassidy let him in ^^ Like I wrote in the previous chapters :) Thank you for reading the update love! ^^

Anonymous said: Mom you got me all the way fucked up. Hold up now. I was prepared for this. Like I was expecting a nice piece of cake and it was a plate full of Brussel sprouts instead. Fucking Min Yoongi you sexy little devil you. But it's all good cuz bae gonna swoop in and snatch y/n up and take her home where she belongs. Poor Jimin and Tae. Like they deserve so much happiness and the keep getting in shitty situations. But even though I feel betrayed THIS WAS A NICE ASS CHAPTER. I Love you 💜 ~LilKookieAnoN

Bae gonna swoop in haha yes hopefully c: I’m sorry for betraying you but I’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter~ i love you too lilkookieanon and I hope you’re doing well ^^

Anonymous said: OOOOHHHHHH FUCK! CHEEZUS SARA THIS TIME I WONT EVEN TRY TO CALM MYSELF DOWN! WHYYYYY??????? Ohmaigawd the whole freaking time it was like a horror movie; I could feel the suspense building and I knew something bad was going to happen, plus the added factor you ALWAYS end on a cliff hanger... CAN YOU FEEL HOW ANXIOUS YOU MADE ME FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER?! anyways, I love you soooo much!!! Please take care of yourself and stay healthy! <3 - army anon

I apologise for any anxiety I caused *hugs* heh ^^ I love you too and and I hope you’re doing well - please take care of yourself too! Thank you very much for reading the update Army anon ^^

Anonymous said: I almost cried while reading chapter 24 of "I won't Stop You", I can almost feel the regret, sorrow and pain in Taehyung eyes, he still love his brother regardless of what, and little did he expect that his brother took him for granted, and that's the most painful thing one can experience, especially when the one is your brother, and I dread seeing how will Jungkook react when he found out omg I CANNOT!!

Yes - it’s hard when your family does shitty things because on one hand you love them, but on the other they are possibly bad people (in this case, definitely) lol ^^ Thank you so much for reading it love!

Anonymous said: S A R A WHY WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT SARA WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 as soon as Tae said come outside I knew something was wrong I KNEW IT god I'm gonna cry poor bby Jimin poor everyone POOR ME I can't!!!!!! Why do you do this to my heart

Because I’m evil ~ sorta :3 hehe thank you so much for reading it!

@wanda-rog said: You can't end a chapter like that and then make us wait a whole week to see what happens! You're so evil T-T I want to see Jungkook raise hell now!  It's going to be the longest week in history

I can and I did *evil laugh* hopefully he will raise hell for you! thank you so much for reading the chapter lovely ^^

@mysr3 said: Sara I have funny thing to tell u! How coincidence that u wrote about Forbidden West Wing and the impressive Library of Beauty and the Beast in IWSY today and I happened to see the movie today! When the west wing was mentioned I was thinking about Y/N and her JoKe lol Then the Library scene I was like huh Y/N enjoyed Jungkook 's just like Belle does in hErE! it's such funny coincidence! 😝The movie was ready GooD! If u have not watched I recommend it! 👏

Yes, I haven’t seen the live-action movie of Beauty and the beast yet but I hope to because I love Emma Watson a lot! Thank you for thinking of me when you saw it my darling :3

@min-ty said: IM SO SHOOK ON CHAPTER 24 OF IWSY IM JUSY ALSJDJSISJDMDJLXKSNS I CAN'T. Your writing was so good in this chapter. Not that your writing isn't always amazing (it is) but I really took notice on it! I know writing fanfiction isn't easy, so to write a chapter of something every week and have nothing be filler or bad quality is so amazing! Have a good day/night!

I’m always trying not to make episodes feel filler-y! I thought that perhaps at the start of this chapter, it felt that way. But it slowly built up to the ending which turned it into a normal storyline! Trust me - many years of watching Naruto + Naruto Shippuuden made me HATE fillers with a passion lolol but they can of course be needed for a storyline to be complete! Thank you so much for reading the chapter love and I hpe you also have a wonderful day ^^

Anonymous said: Oh my god!!! IWSY is killing me I wish you could update 10 chapters a day!!! but oh well, as a university student myself, I can totally understand the demands of school work... am thankful to even have a chapter a week to read HEHE. please tell me Prince jungkook comes to the rescue!! and jiminnie and taehyung please be safe too!! super excited for the next chapter ㅠㅠ

LOL oh my goodness I would definitely write myself into an early grave if I did that :3 I hope Prince Jungkook can come to the rescue for you! :3 thank you so much for reading it love and I hope you’ll enjoy the next chapter too!!

Anonymous said: Hi! Just wanted to say your fics are really amazing! :D I literally just joined Tumblr earlier this month for the fun of it but after miraculously stumbling upon your blog and reading IWSY, I felt like giving a try on writing fics as well (though there are so many of them around already omg). Can't wait for your new chapter on IWSY!

Thank you so much my love! I’m so happy you stumbled upon my tumblr and IWSY ^^ And yes you should definitely try writing ff! It’s so fun and it feels nice to put your work out there for people to enjoy and read too :D I hope you have an awesome day dear ^^

Anonymous said: SARAAAA! Why do you have to do this to my poor heart?!! Can I make tuesday, everyday?.😭😭😭 You're really an amazing writer! I love you!.😭🤧❤️

Anonnnn! I’m sorry for any damage to your poor heart :c Thank you os much for liking IWSY, I’m so glad you enjoy it and I love you too!

Anonymous said: FUCKING HELLNSJSJSJSJSK OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY FUCKING FLYING FUCK IN THEUFKXINDJSJSJ WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I MEAN OK inhlae exhale 348x LIKE HOLY SHIT that endingsjdjdjdjjd

*holds you* it’s okay...shhhhh...it’s okay my love

Anonymous said: its my thesis defense tomorrow, im kind of nervous but after reading the new chapter of iwsy my anxiety went away BUT IM LIKE MKAKSK THAT LAST LINE WHY TF DO I THINK YOONGI LIKES Y/N HOLY SHIT HE WANTS ��HER OOOHH WAIT BUT HES EVIL RIGHT... BUT LIKE WHY HE CALLED HER "MY DOMITOR" BITCH TF JDJDJXJ HOW ABT JK SHIT THEY GONA HAVE A FIGHT IM FUCING HERE FOR THIS IM FUCKING PISSINGIN EED TIME TO RECOVER FROM THISNKSK

Good luck for your thesis defence my love I’m sure you’ll do great! I’m so happy that my story could make you feel a little at ease :3 LOL OH MY GOD *dies laughing* I guess you’ll need to wait and see what happens dear! :3 thank you so so much for reading ^^

@jauntyjin said: YOUR STORY IS STRESSING ME OUT IM LOWKEY MAD AT TAE BUT I UNDERSTAND BC JIMIN WAS IN DANGER OH GOD JUNGKOOK IS GOING TO GO MENTAL IM COUNTING ON MUGSY TO FILL JUNGKOOK IN

NO STRESS PLS ENJOY~~~ lol I HOPE ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

@jungkookbangtaned said: SARA TELL YOONGI I'M GONNA PUNCH HIM BECAUSE SYCRGIZEWHAO HE USED TAE AND JIMIN TO GET TO ME AND SO I'M GONNA PUNCH HIM.  Amazing as always, and I really can't wait to read how Jungkook is gonna react... poor baby😓 love you💕

I’LL TELL HIM BBY DON’T WORRY ;) Agh thank you so much for reading the newest part love ^^ I hope you’re having a great day and I love you too ^^

@cynicalspacehoe said: DAMMIT I KNEW IT! THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A WHOLE DAY JUNGKOOK, I GET KIDNAPPED

JUNGKOOK CAN’T LEAVE YOU NOWHERE! hehe~

Anonymous said: Whoop whoop I hope I am not too late for the answer post 🐇 Huuuuuum Tae just why ??? I cant judge u tho u had probably no other choice but still baby dont scare us like that 😩 --wifey anon

Yes you’re not too late! I usually post the answer post any time after 9:30pm on a Wednesday but sometimes I hold off in case I get more asks ^^ I don’t wanna clog up peoples feeds but at the same time I wanna answer everyone lol! Poor Tae :) he had no choice, he loves Jimin so much :( Thank you so much for reading my love!

@trashyxpotato said: Hello~ I just wanted to say that your Jungkook fanfic "I Won't Stop You" is amazing! I've been reading it for a few days and... I really love it! I really laughed at some parts. :') I love the story and everything! It became one of my favs~ ^_^

Hi there! thank you so much for finding and reading IWSY and I’m really happy that you’re enjoying it! I’m glad you said that it’s one of your favs, thank you very much once again love ^^

[thebrightestringaroundthemoon]

anyway time to use this blog for what i created it for i guess and type out a big long thing about how im a worthless piece of shit and should pour myself a nice big glass of creamer, sugar, and clorox. i literally serve like? no purpose? in life? at all? im a completely directionless failure that operates with about the complexity of a fucking roomba, running into the same goddamn couch over and over again and slightly redirecting. if i get lucky, i run into a different couch, but nothing fucking changes. i do the exact same thing over and over again: surround myself with wonderful, fantastic people, fuck it up and make them hate me, and then spiral into a pit of my own pointless fucking despair until i realize im such a fucking failure of a person i cant even muster the energy it takes to fucking die so i just get up again in the morning and go again. rinse and fucking repeat. and its not like i have some horrible life or anything, im just profoundly unfit to exist on this planet. i have wonderful friends who actually, honest to god care about me and its evidently not good enough for me?? so i just respond to everything by assuming the worst, spiralling, and being too much of a dumb bitch to fucking talk to A N Y B O D Y about A N Y T H I N G cuz i guess i’d rather make a dumb edgy tumblr blog named after the lyrics to a fucking asia song than actually solve any of my problems. i guess its too much to solve a problem when the fundamental core of who you are as a person is the fucking problem. i mean, there is a solution, but ive already covered why nobody needs to be worried about me doing that! bnobody needs to be worried about me doing anytuhing! accomplishing anything! ever becoming anything! ever managing to do much more than drag myself out of bed in the morning and inspire a profoundly sad mixture of pity and annoyance in everyone iv’e ever come into fucking contact with! im sitting here debating fixing the fucking apostrophe in the last sentence and its driving me fucking mad while real people have real fucking problems and my cardboard cutout ass bad edgy teen novel stupid bitch excuse for a person ass is sitting here doing THIS with my fucking time. I have things i shuold be doing, could be doing, but this is legitimately all i can bring myself to fucking contribute to society at this point. the surest sign that the people around me are fucking saints is that theyve stuck around this fucking long but honestly i dont fucking undeerstand. i guess thats the whole point of shit like saints, you arent supposed to be able to understand, its superhuman compassion, even for those who dont fucking deserve it. or maybe its just because i fundamentally dont work. i dont have any sort of actual power when it comes to my life. these are the idle musings of a bewildered spectator, the one person who comes to the party, stays sober, and sits on the sidelines and watches the fucking idiocy unfold. except instead of drunkenly stumbling around and telling my friends how much i love them, im stone cold sober and sitting on the sidelines watching myself fail to take even the most basic fucking steps towards fixing literally any problem that im dealing with. broken. non functional. i dunno if i was born a failure, though. i think that might be giving myself a little too much credit. other people were dealt infinitely worse hands than i was and they turned out fucking wonderful. i know a couple of them. no, i think im the way i am because of me. i probably had all the chances i needed to become something resembling a human being, and instead im whatever i am now. how can i be excited about some sort of future for myself when i can barely manage a relatively privliged day to day existance? i have friends, im not starving, im in college, i have an apartment. im far from rich but im able to afford to go to college. that should be enough. why the fuck isnt that enmough. why cant i just be fucking satisfied why cant i muster some sort of positive fucking emotions why does joy last a few moments why can i do this so much easier than writing anything positive about my life why does this flow like it does like a fucking river why cant i stop my hands why why what the fuck why why am i like this why was i born why am i who i am it flows so easily it just comes out but i cant tell anyone and i cant rely on anyone because im not anyone in noone im the fucking nobody that people keep around them to make themselves feel better and the only reason i have the slightest bit of doubt about that is that i love my friends too much to ever accuse them of something like that but then again does it fucking count when its someone like me do i qualify as a fucking person does it count as hurting someone’s feelings or using them when that someone isn’t a someone is just an empty fucking shell that was only gifted with the capacity to retain HURT thats all i can fucking remember thats all that sticks with me HURT i cant fucking be rid of it and its not some sort of innate inherent biological failing its who i am as a person i did this to myself i do this to myself i dont know that i will ever stop doing this to myself. all i can hope for is that one day i gain the strrength the fucking self esteem and self respect to kill myself. maybe it isnt self respect i need for that but respect for my friends. its selfish to put them through me. the pain they’d feel from my death would last a short time if at all. it would be so much better than forcing them to know me for however long this failing fucking body will carry my empty shell of a spirit onwards thjrough a world that i dont deserve to fucking inhabit. my inner monologyue put on paper sounds like a fucking evanescence song and i hate myself for it so much jesus fucking christ. i fundamentally do not like myself. as a person. on any level. i do not like myself. i wouldnt be friends with me, and ironically i hate myself for that too. but who would? who the fuck would? why does anyone? do they? maybe thats my one fucking talent. convincing people im likable. worming my way into their fucking lives until they trust me only to realize that i am not a human being. im an empty shell, a fucking roomba of a person. i can tell when ive run into something and back up so i can run into it again. i cannot solve my own problems. i cannot even conceptualize them. im something below a human cursed with the fucking ability to think at the level of one. my ocd is really really desperately trying to get me to scroll up and fix all the spelling and grammar errors but i dont know if itll hurt more to ignore them or to have to read the dumb ashit i just wrote. earlier i said that i wanted this to flow less easily and here we are i guess. though earlier i meant it in the context of only being able to properly conceptualize negative feelings and never being abkle to hold onto anything piositive i feel, and that hasn’t been magically fixed or anything, im just having trouble feeling anything at all now. im a completely blank slate. i havent even cried once troday. i cant. i cant care about my own fucking inadequacy and failure as a very basic human being enough to even fucking cry. i cried about an anime a couple nuights ago. i can muster emotion for that. but as soon as i look inwards i dont see ahyuthing thEres NOTHING FUICKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM BROKEN I AM EMPTY I AM A {PLAGUE ON WHOEVER HAS THE PURE FUCKING MISFORTUNE TO BE A GOOD ENOUGH PERSON TO TAKE PITY ON ME i dont want to die, even. too many steps, too much feeling, too much. i just want to stop. to end. i want to no longer be. ill lock tghat away with all the other things id love to happen but know never will. that ones at the forefront though. it always will be. until i grow the fucking compassion to put others out of my misery. my roomate just texted me an innocuous questiona nd i texte d bacjk normally emojis and all im normal dont you see everyone im normal nothings wrong with me. oh sure sometimes i have a bad day but im fine everybody IM FINE you aren’t you have to put up with me ill fucking worm my way into your life and convince you im a real human being you can hold a congersation with only to snatch the fucking rug out from under you as soon as you actually attempt to engage with me on any level and i just end up eiother hurting you or revealing accidently that there is no such thing as luna thats not a fucking person its a name assigned to a loose collections of disorders, bad habits, and a gaping emotional black hoile from which nothing can fucking escape, jammed into an ugly broken body thats going to kill me early and doesnt even compensate by making me hot. wHEE. and of course, unable to be happy with anything, i will simultaneously complain about my own impending death due to horrific nutrition, subastance abuse (just the fun kinds so people dont realize anything is wrong WHEEEE) and some fucky illness that ive now gone and stopped medicating because im a stupid worthless bitch, AND I WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS WHILE SIMULATENOUSLY WANTING TO DIE what do i want? who the fuck knows! not me! that’s a redundant statement, of course “me” doing know bercause thats not a thing im not a person! id love to blame it on my complete and total internal faliure as a person that i always end up hurting people, but honestly its probably because i dont put enough fucking effort in. even right now,. literally hours after a good friend of mine ostaroted feeling like shit in a way that is almost for sure my fucking fault, im doing THIS instead of trying to right the situation (to b fair she made a point of not inviting me but inviting the rest of the group?) or did she am i just reading into this? who knows! who the fuck knows! everyone but “me”! ejveryone else knows! becayuse its probably REALALLY FUCKING SIMPLE BUT NOOOOO I CANT EVEN MANAGE THAT CAN I I CANNNOT EVEN FUCKING MANMAGE TO MANAGE THAT CAN I thats too much for lil ol me! i am aggressively pointless! i am the single least important collection of fucking atoms on this planet! every last fucking rock i stepped on walking to and from the class that i skipped half of today is more important and has contribtued more to the grand scheme of things than i ever have or ever will, and thats jkust the inanimate fucking objects on the ground. lets not even get started on all the actual people whose time my existance waste, who i am a fucking affront to  by sheer virtue of being in any way associated with them at any point in time ever. i guess this is it, this is what i get when my entire personlaity is a loosely cobbled together collection of self deprecating jokes and a fake ego, desperately attempting to patch over an interior that has holes in it less than it just is one giant fucking hole. i was, am, and will be nothing, not even enough to earn the use of “I” at the beginning of the sentence. dinner is in 15 minutes. my friends will be there. im paralyzed. i belive every word i wrote above so why

would i inflict myself upon them but i 

i cant not

i so deeply want to

to go sit in uncharacteristic silence and hope somebnody notices and asks me whats up so i can give them a dumb, abridged, mostly fake version and get the sad pity looks and then feel bad about exploiting them and then

rinse

repeat

because i am not a person