#I CANT BRETAGE I ACTUALLY OH MY GOD

[zakkuen]

OH MY GOD OH YM FUCKING GODDDD

[chickynn]

“Inosuke learns how to read”

I have no idea what this is supposed to be.

But enjoy.

Hana belongs to @pandabobachan

Rin belongs to me uwu

Hana sat across Inosuke as she teaches him how to read. Rin was beside her, enjoying Inosuke's suffering as he struggles to read a word.

"Alright, Inosuke, what does this say?" Hana smiles, pointing to a word written on the paper.

Inosuke squints at it, "B-bo...boooaa...-" Someone help him.

"It's 'boat', you idiot" Rin konks him on the head. Before anyone could even blink, the table flew across the room. Hana tried to restrain Inosuke from trying to rip Rin's hair out.

"WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT READING! IT'S NOT LIKE I NEED IT FOR DEFEATING DEMONS!!" Inosuke gives up, then proceeds to stomp out of the room. Hana follows after him.

I mean, he's not wrong.

Rin stared at the mess he made. Looks like they're going to get in trouble again.

"W-what happened?" Tanjiro, who had just entered the room with Zenitsu, asked. He then noticed the broken table at the other side of the room, "Oh"

Rin shrugged, "That's not my problem now," she peaced sign, "later!". Then she walked out of the room, Zenitsu following after.

"Rin-chaaaan~" He did one of his weird giggles. But for some reason, Rin find them cute-

"What do you want?" Rin whipped around, glaring at him, trying to hide her obvious blush.

Zenitsu only pouted at her, "Where are you going, Rin-chan?"

Rin's facial expressions soften, "I'm going on a mission...like, really far away from here" she scratched the back of her head, "So I had to take the train for that..."

She started to have Vietnam war flashbacks. She shivered.

Zenitsu whined, "But Rin-chaaan! You're going to be far away from me!"

"Quit your whining, I won't be gone for too long anyways"

Zenitsu was about to comply more, but Rin already went ahead and shyly kisses his cheek, before stumbling away from him.

Tanjiro went out the room to see Zenitsu fainting. He walked over his body, "Zenitsu, wake up! We're going on a mission!"

-------------

Rin sat on a booth, farther away from everyone else so she wouldn't be disturbed. But then she started to hear Vector's theme song from Despicable Me.

A strange looking man wearing an orange jumpsuit sat in front of her, smirking, "Hey"

Rin ignored him and continued staring out the window.

He got up and tiptoed beside her, "I'm thinking about applying to be a tsuguko of a pillar going by the name 'Vector!'"

She only scooted away.

He continued, "It's a mathematical term represented by an arrow in both direction and magnitude!"

Rin was now already at the far side of the seat.

Vector slid next to her, "VECTOR! that's me! Cus I'm stopping demons with both direction and magnitude! OH YEAAHHH!"

Rin wanted to beat the shit out of him right now, but decided to preserve her energy for the actual battle.

Seeing as she is ignoring him right now, he still continued, "Check out my new weapon..." He then pulled put a gun, "PIRANHA GUN! OH YESSSS"

Rin looked at his weapon, isn't that dangerous? But then again, she remembered that her squad has Inosuke in it.

"It shoots out live piranhas! Ever seen one? NO! I invented this myself, want a demonstration?"

She doesn't even need to answer that because he had already shot it and it accidentally hit a person. He started screaming and immediately ran towards the very front part of the train.

Rin shot up from her seat and was about to run after the person, but the train stopped. Everyone on the train starts panicking.

Rin screeched, "WHAT HAPPENED-?"

"THE CONDUCTOR DIED!" A random stranger screeches back.

Rin fell to her knees, "nOOOOOO- HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO GO TO MY MISSION?!"

Then she turned to glare at Vector, who just slowly hid his gun and pretended like nothing happened. She grabbed him by his collar, ready to throw a punch at him.

"YOUUUUUUUUU!!!"

Vector starts sobbing, "NO WAIT PLEASE!! I HAVE CHILDREN"

"Rin! Please him go! He PROBABLY didn't do anything!" A voice that sounds like Tanjiro said, catching her off guard.

She turned around to see Tanjiro, behind him were Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Hana.

Wait what.

"What are you all doing here?" Rin furrowed her eyebrows. She is beyond confusion now.

"I guess we're all sent to the same mission" Tanjiro chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

That kind of explains it.

"Attention passengers; please remain calm, this isn't the first time that our conductor has died. We'll fix this issue which will take a couple of hours. So in the meantime, listen to this really calm music used in Titanic."

A loud screeching noise was heard from the speakers. Everyone started screaming and covering their ears, begging for it to stop. That totally calmed everyone down.

"Damn, I sure do wonder how they're going to fix this situation" Hana said, munching on her hot cheetos that she has taken out of nowhere.

Rin groaned and went to a different train cart so that she can do something while they're stuck here. Zenitsu follows after her, "My love! Look, I'm here with you right now! Why don't we just enjoy each other's companies- wait what the-"

There was a rave going on in this cart. Rin stared at it in disgust but decided to enter it anyways. It probably has food in and drinks in it, better than Hana's hot cheetos anyway.

Zenitsu followed her in confusion as she starts eating the food on the tables. "Hey, Rin...are we really supposed to be here?"

Rin didn't answer him, only stuffing more food in her mouth. She honestly doesn't know what she's eating, but holy shit these tasted good. Zenitsu only watched her as she drank something from one of the cups that were placed there.

"Hey! You gotta try these!" Rin offered him a drink, but he refused. He's probably still thinking that they weren't supposed to be eating or drinking in here. She shrugged and drank the whole thing by herself in one gulp. She felt a little tipsy after drinking that, but she can still manage.

"Hey! You're not supposed to be here!" Someone yelled, but Rin didn't even care, she just continued refilling her cup, completely unaffected. That is, until Zenitsu grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the place, causing her drink to spill. Once they were out of the place, he noticed that Tanjiro and the others are nowhere to be found.

'Oh God oh please oh no-' Zenitsu starts hsving a mental breakdown internally.

"nOoOOoooOOO, wHy'D yOu do THaaAT-" Rin whined, throwing weak punches at him, none of them affecting him. Zenitsu sighed, pulling her arm over his shoulder to help her walk properly. Rin complained, saying that she can walk properly by herself.

He doubts that.

Zenitsu sets her down on a booth, then started to think of ways to handle this. It wasn't the first time that he is handling his drunk partner. It's just that Tanjiro was there to help him. But now he is nowhere to be found.

He just decided to stay and watch over her to prevent her from doing stupid stuff. Right now, she's trying to get out of his iron grip so that she can go back to that cart. Rin didn't know when he got so strong to hold her down without struggling, but holy shit that just turns her on-

I CANT BRETAGE WTF

Anyways, this wasn't the 'enjoying each other's companies' that Zenitsu pictured earlier. He starts to pray for Tanjiro or the others to come back.

Soon, Rin started calming down and is now dozing off to sleep. "N-nOoo i dOn'T waNnA sLeeP...yet...." lmao too late bitch you're snoring off your fat ass now.

Zenitsu was thankful that she finally fell asleep. Now all he needs to do is keep praying for the others to come back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rin finally woke up from her sleep. She immediately sat up to look at her surroundings. She noticed everyone else sitting on different beds next to hers. They looked like they just came out of a warzone or something.

"Holy shit...what happen to you guys?" Rin asked.

Tanjiro struggled to sit up, "Well...Inosuke-"

"Makes sense"

"B-but I didn't get to finish-"

"Rin-chan! You're awake!!" Zenitsu came in the room and was about to run and hug her, but he realized that he's holding something. So he walked over to her and placed them on her nightstand before hugging her.

"So uh,, what day is it?" Rin asked, trying to free herself from Zenitsu's bone crushing hug.

"One" Inosuke said.

Hana sighed, "What he meant to say is, it's just been a day since the train incident"

Everything suddenly comes back to Rin. That Vector guy. Hana's hot cheetos. That rave party in the cart. Her heads started to hurt just by thinking about it.

Zenitsu noticed how she's holding her head, so he gives her a painkiller that he had brought in earlier.

After drinking the painkiller, she tried processing everything again. Then she realized that she's supposed to be on her mission right now. She then proceeds to wonder where the fuck they are.

"If you're wondering, we're actually in the village for our mission now" Han said. Wow- it's like she read Rin's mind or something.

"Yes, I can read your mind" Hana smiles at her.

"Wait what-"

"Nothing, anyways, let's just stay and rest here for a bit before we yeet out"

"I DON'T WANNA SIT AND WAIT, I WANNA KILL SOME DEMONS NOW!! " Inosuke screamed, jumping out of his bed.

"Inosuke, calm down! Remember your breathing exercises!" Tanjiro panicked and got out of his bed to restrain the angy boi, "Try doing some Yoga too!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS A YOGA, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT"

"Do the dang Yoga!" Hana intervened.

"I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO-"

Rin rose up from her bed (which made Zenitsu fall because he was sitting on her) and started stomping on Inosuke.

"Uh guys, I'm pretty sure this isn't how yoga went" Tanjiro said.

"STOP! THIS ISN'T CALMING HIM DOWN!" Hana screamed. Zenitsu starts screaming aswell as he tried to pry Rin off Inosuke, but he somehow managed to get into the mess.

Hana looked at Tanjiro, who just laid back down, "Aren't you going to do anything?"

Tanjiro pulled the covers over him, "It doesn't matter, they're not going to listen to me anyways"

He has a point. With that, the two of them went back to sleep as if nothing is currently happening.

Meanwhile, Inosuke managed to run away from Rin and Zenitsu. Rin ran to chase after him, screaming, screeching and yelling can be heard from outside the room. Zenitsu tried to follow after but he realizes that there was also no point in that, so he just went to bed too lmao

Inosuke and Rin ran to the front desk, the lady in charge starts screaming, thinking Inosuke was a monster because of his mask. He hisses at her and proceeds to climb on the walls, away from the place.

What did Hana see in this creature.

Rin starts running after him outside the inn they were staying. Inosuke stood there, completely frozen and staring at something. “Come on, pig head, let’s go back in-” She was cut off short when she saw what was in front of them.

A demon. A huge one. A bunch of letters that can be formed into words looked like they were tattooed into his skin. The letters are also moving and shifting, forming new words. Rin wonders what his demon art is. But anyways, she wasted no time in grabbing her blade, preparing to swing at him. 

Inosuke went behind to inspect something from the back of him. Rin swing her blade to the demon’s neck, but he dodged, kicking her side. She slams to the wall, the impact made her vision a bit blurry. She looked over at Inosuke, who was still looking behind the demon’s back. 

“MWUAHAAHHAHAHAH!! THAT THING WON’T WORK ON ME!! THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT ME IS IF YOU SAY A MAGIC WORD”

“Please die” Rin groaned, laying down somehow comfortably on the broken debris of the wall. 

“NICE TRY! BUT THAT’S NOT IT, THE WORD IS MERELY IMPOSSIBLE TO THINK OF!!” The demon does a jojo pose, continuing, “ONLY PEOPLE WITH MASSIVE IQ CAN BE ABLE TO THINK OF THE WORD”

“Hey this spells boat!” Inosuke happily says, pointing to a word behind his back. He is proud of himself for remembering what had Hana thought him. Everything fell silent for-

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY WEAKNESS”

“wait what” 

Then he explodes. Bits and pieces of body parts of the demon came flying everywhere, those whose mouths were open were blessed with demon limbs. 

“I have so many questions right now, but I’m gonna sleep” Rin grumbles, closing her eyes to peacefully rest around the splattered insides of the demon. Until she heard a bunch of footsteps running over her. 

“OH MY GOSH RIN IS DEAD” A voice laced with worry said, who Rin assumed was Hana. She still didn’t budge, to exhausted to even open her eyes. Another voice that sounded like Zenitsu’s spoke, “MOVE!! I KNOW HOW TO DO CPR!!”

Rin’s eyes shot back up sitting up instantly, “nO WAIT- MMPH!!”

Ah too late. Zenitsu had already performed his so-called ‘cpr’ which is literally just kissing her. He pulls away after, inspecting Rin’s now wide awaken face. “HEY IT WORKED- OW!!”

Rin repeatedly smacks him on the head, a furious blush plastered on her face. Meanwhile, Hana runs up to Inosuke with the most worried look on her face, “What happened?!”

Inosuke smirks under his mask, sticking up his nose in the air in pride, “The great Lord Inosuke has defeated the demon!!” Then he victoriously laughs. Hana giggles, hugging him tightly as she nuzzles her face against his chest. 

“Wow...you’re so strong hehehe”

Inosuke scoffs, “Of course I am! Who do you think I am?!”

“My strong Inosuke~”

“YES!! PRAISE ME MORE!” Inosuke cackles more, picking her up and spinning them together. A matching blush adorning both of their cheeks. Tanjiro felt single now. 

“Hey uh...sorry to interrupt but how exactly did you defeat it?” Tanjiro nervously intervenes, thinking it was rude to interrupt them. Inosuke didn’t seem to mind that much though.

“That’s easy! I just simply have big IQ!” Inosuke snickers, pointing at himself pridefully. Everyone else doubts that. Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Hana looked at him in confusion, then they looked at Rin. She shrugs, “I don’t know guys, I had a concussion earlier and started seeing....things”

She shivers, after having another Vietnam flashback for a split second. Everyone else decided to just ask her later after her headache have subsided. They headed back to the inn, not even bothering to clean up the demon limbs or the broken wall.