#I CAN'T EVEN SPELL

[kodzukoi]

I'M GOING INSANEEEEEE

is it possible to shake my own shoulders BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I FEEL LIKE AT THE MOMENT!!! NEW MARIUS EVENT DROPPED I AM NOT WELL!!!!!!!!!!

i am not!!! WELLLLLLLLLL

oh my god

OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

[heybaetae]

maknae line + gestures of love 🫰🏼💋🫶🏼🌹🤟🏼 happy birthday @jkvjimin! ♡

[ryllen]

[mesetacadre]

Lennan

[theabigailthorn]

An Off-Brand Post About the Kim Petras Concert

this post isn't about acting or youtube stuff I just want to say I had a really fun time at the Kim Petras concert last night :)

I saw her four years ago and wow, she's really gotten better - like she was a good singer before but now she's really got the pipes! Great outfits, great backup dancers, also shout out the guy who mopped the stage before she came on: I see you working hard to make it safe and enjoyable for everyone, thanks buddy!

Thank you so much to all the people who recognised me and came up and say hello: I'm really touched by how much you enjoy my work? I often feel that what I make is silly or not good enough but it makes me so happy when people get something out of it. I'm also so happy you're excited for Dracula's Ex-Girlfriend!

Shout out to the cute girl who hit on me as we were leaving and gave me her number. You might have googled me by now, perhaps you found this post - hello! I'll text you when I get back from LA; I think you might be a bit young for me 'cause you mentioned you're a final year student, but hey maybe we can just go for a friendly coffee and chat about the concert :) I need to get a burner phone first (I've had problems in the past with stalkers pretending not to know who I am) so I may not give you my actual number until we've gotten to know each other properly - sorry, my life is strange sometimes, being a public figure makes it hard to meet people but I'm flattered you approached me

Also, the opening act - Georgia - WOW, she was so good! What a talent! I'm gonna check out her music, she was so heartfelt and it was amazing how she played the drums and keyboard and sang all at once! I gave her a big thumbs up and she smiled at me!

I was the only person in the venue wearing a mask? Made me feel slightly odd but I have to film a movie next week and I didn't want to get sick, so. (I took it off to snap a quick selfie, which was perhaps a little cheeky but I wanted to remember how much I was smiling)

Wild that the last time I saw Kim I was still in the closet! How times change!

[happilychee]

fairy tail dragon slayer headcanons pt. 1

♡ what the first gen and second gen dragon slayers eat is pretty self-explanatory. all of their elements are... somewhat tangible. sting and rogue though? they're still figuring it out. rogue wonders if he can eat someone else's shadow, and sting immediately volunteers himself. "for science!" he says. the result is that sting almost passes out. oops. he insists they try on their friends, much to rogue's displeasure. the results are that sting is the most susceptible, then yukino, rufus, orga, and minerva is the least susceptible to magic drainage. sting insists rogue tries to eat an inanimate object's shadow, and nothing happens to it, so they decide that's the way to go.

♡ when wendy eats air, the oxygen levels thin. she has to be careful or she'll cause her allies and enemies alike to pass out. when sting eats light, the area gets darker and darker. this is great for rogue, who starts eating the shadows, and they manage to balance each other out.

♡ sting insists that different types of light taste differently. his favorite is light from golden hour, right when the sun is dipping below the horizon. moonlight will do in a pinch, but it's so diluted that it takes way more of it to recover sting's magic. he also gets sick if he eats too much moonlight.

♡ pantherlily already has transformation magic and enhanced strength, and carla learns to transform so she can help wendy fight. the other three exceeds feel... a little left out. happy learns how to fly faster and for longer (though he still complains about lucy being heavy). lector goes to porlyusica and wendy to learn some stamina regeneration spells for sting. everyone is surprised when frosch, completely on their own, manages to learn an adorable light spell that creates floating pink bubbles. rogue can consume the shadows from them without worrying about draining frosch's magic, and he spends the entire afternoon crying about it.

♡ dragon slayers are a bit like crows. their way of bonding with someone is through gifting trinkets. natsu will bring lucy, erza, and even gray pretty rocks or seashells that he's found on jobs. wendy picks up a new craft or hobby every week, so the members of fairy tail are constantly recieving handmade accessories from her (gajeel helps during the metalsmithing phase). gajeel does not buy cute things for people. he is like a dad in the fact that, when juvia mentions she wants watermelon, he buys her 20 watermelons. walking math problem fr.

♡ laxus has mixed feelings about his more draconic features and habits. he's never loved his magic because of the way he got it, and the memory of his father basically torturing him as he inserted the lacrima will stay with him forever. he tends to suppress dragon instincts more than anyone else in the group, and they all scold him for it. on a rare occasion, laxus will give in and buy something shiny (like a hairclip) for wendy. she has a little jewelry box for them that she guards fiercely.

♡ cobra considers himself more of a flying snake than a dragon. he once drew a picture that sent everyone into a laughing fit. he prefers to stick with the old oración seis crew, but the guild dragon slayers are always happy to see him when he stops by with crime sorcière.

♡ sting, because of his heightened senses and his affinity for light, prefers nighttime. the day can often be overwhelming, and overexposure to bright settings and lots of people leaves his skin buzzing. he likes to sit in the dim guild hall, leaning against the cool stone wall, as the chatter of the crowd quiets down with the setting sun.

♡ dragon slayers all have the Bite instinct. some exercise a degree of control about it, and others go crazy with it. wendy will very gently nibble on erza or mira's arm when she's in the mood, and sometimes she does it absentmindedly. natsu, on the other hand, is an absolute menace. multiple of erza's armor sets have natsu-shaped bite marks on them. he tends to go after her the most because he knows he won't hurt her with the armor. when natsu's more calmed down, he will chomp on lucy's shoulder. gajaeel copes by eating all of fairy tail's silverware (mira starts buying ceramic spoons), but when levy offers her wrist to him he can't help it.

♡ rogue is another one who doesn't really bite people. he, very rarely, nips at frosch's ears, which causes the exceed to giggle. sting is a Biter like natsu, but with slightly more decorum. he really wants to go at it but will restrain himself because most people aren't willing to be treated like a chew toy. luckily for him, gray and cana aren't most people! because they both wear pretty exposing clothing, gray and cana have no qualms about showing off sting's bite marks on their skin. sting always turns bright red when they tease him about it.

♡ laxus and cobra don't really feel the Bite instinct due to being second gen, but cobra is a little shit and bites people for the fun of it. laxus is completely unbothered when natsu clings to him like a koala and gnaws at him.

[luna-loveboop]

I love Hyrule so much

Like. Look at him!! I love this visual parallel of him investigating rocks <3

Art by @linkeduniverse au :D

[lost-in-fandoms]

cw: religious imagery, probably a bit blasphemous, and a hint of sexual content. This is mostly just vibes.

Daniel remembers church on Sunday.

When he was little he never questioned it. He let his mom dress him up and attempt to get his curls into something different than a wild bush, let his sister hold his sleeve while walking up the steps, let his dad press his big hand on his little knee when he was squirming too much, restless and bored.

Growing up, he never really was able to appreciate it. From a religious standpoint he wasn't too big of a believer, but it was everything else that made it too much. Having to take time away from everything else he could have been doing, having to sit still and quiet, having to smile at old ladies who cooed at him as if he was still five. He was grateful, in a way, when racing became Sunday's priority, though he missed his mother's hand in his curls.

He remembers the first time he stepped into a church in Italy, seventeen and homesick, looking for the only Grace he could have found there. He remembers the wonder he had felt, simmering awe at the immortal grandeur of the towering columns and the colorful windows. He remembers kneeling on the unforgiving wooden pew, halfway towards the back, far enough from the altar to not feel watched, asking whoever was listening if this was right, if this was worth it. Nobody had answered then.

Now, seventeen years later, he kneels again on plush carpet, and wonders if this is his answer.

In all these years, he's made good choices, bad choices, stupid choices. He's been around the globe more times than he cares to think about. He's raced and raced and raced. He's held his heart out in his hands for the world to eat, he's hidden it away under layers of smiles. He has fallen, again and again, sometimes pushed by the same hands that had helped him get up.

And he has no regrets.

He has wishes, for things to be different, for pain to disappear more quickly, for angry words to be taken back, for bitter bites to be washed away by sweeter moments, but no regrets. Not if every step has brought him here, kneeling on this carpet.

He remembers, with stark clarity against the fog of time, kneeling in that Italian church with his head bowed, watching the light draw colorful patterns on his still naked fingers, but he looks up now.

He knows everything was worth it. It could have been better, it could have been different, it should have been different, but those days in a lonely apartment in Milan were worth it, for every podium, every trophy, every checkered flag, every lap, every corner.

And every tear, every bruised knuckle, every disgusting smoothie, every too small portion, every too early start, had been worth it too, for the privilege of staring up into dazed blue eyes and seeing love.

For the fingers in his hair, for the thumb tracing his lips, for the thighs trembling in his grip.

For the knowledge that whatever happens now, whatever happens next, there will be trophies in his cabinets, and Max's heart in his hands.

And when Max comes, hot and salty down his throat, it tastes like blessed host, and the moaning of Daniel's name sounds like absolution.

[swaps55]

Currently playing whack a mole with veilguard tags.

[turner-strait]

so I watched some StarKid comps tonight and I gotta say

this literally never fails to make me cry

[helenofblackthorns]

reading tftsa is always an emotional experience especially when you get the short stories focused around the Blackthorns because the absence of Mark just bleeds out. like when you read about Julian being Helen's suggenes and Simon being the witness to Julian's parabatai ceremony you are just burdened with the knowledge that that's not who they would have picked if the circumstances were different. in a different life it was Mark.

[existingingrey]

So are you supposed to normally go on about your life when this guy is looking at you like this.

Won't you just drop everything, cover him with a blanket, pat his head while telling him everything is gonna be alright.

[stbot]

vintage gays as vintage vinyl

[a-very-sparkly-nerd]

Extremely important poll that transcends fandom and even Tumblr:

Whose side are you on in the @zuppizup vs @blutopaz15 'Stache War? We ride at midnight and fight to the death.

[prolibytherium]

I never touched it but I feel like i only ever hear positive things said about song of achilles.. in (rough strokes at least) what makes it dogshit to you?

Okay it's been a while since I actually read it so some of this might not be spot on accurate. Sorry if at any point I say 'the book never does xyz' and it actually does once or twice but I think my underlying criticisms are accurate

-Patroclus is made into like this soft gentle tender quivering little yaoi boy. In the source text, he's shown as compassionate and moved by the suffering of his own men (and apparently having some medical skill, tending to the wounded in the camp), but very much invested n combat and very, very good at it (pages worth of descriptions of the guys he's killing left and right). In this, the arguably more complex character from this 8th century BC text is flattened into Being A Healer, he doesn't want to go to war he just wants to help people, he only goes because Achilles has to but he doesn't want to fight he's a HEALER he's a gentle lover NOT A FIGHTER who just wants to help he just wants to help everyone around him he HEALS while Achilles is a doomed warrior who is so good at fighting and KILLING its a DICHOTOMY GUYS!!!LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND MOON DOOMED LOVERS SO SAD patocluse HEALER . (I Think he's specifically characterized as being BAD at fighting but might be misremembering)

-I don't remember much about Achilles' characterization I think it just makes him less of a jackass while not adding anything of interest and levels out into being mad boring.

-Not getting into the literal millenias old debate whether the mythological characters Achilles and Patroclus were being characterized as some type of lover by the original oral sources of the Iliad or its Homeric writers. We will never know. We don't even know what (if any) culturally accepted conventions of male homosexuality existed in bronze age Greece (we know much more about their descendants). But there are some interesting elements of their characterization in this direction, with how unconventional their relationship is WITHIN the text itself- Patroclus is described as cooking for Achilles and his guests (very specifically a woman/wife's job), Achilles chides Patroclus like a father, but there's also scene where Achilles' mourning of him directly echoes a passage of Hector's wife mourning her husband, Patroclus is explicitly stated to Achilles' elder, and is overall treated as his equal or near-equal, closest confidant and most beloved friend (to the point that pederastic classical Greeks would debate over who was erastes (older authority figure lover) and who was eromenos (adolescent 'beloved')- many took it as a given that this text depicted their present-day cultural norms of homosexual behavior but it existed so Outside of these norms that it had to be debated who was who). Their relationship is non-standard both within the text and to the descendants of the civilization that wrote them.

Basically what I'm saying is this book had opportunities to like, explore the unconventionality of the relationship (being presented here as explicitly lovers), explore the dynamics of why Patroclus wants to do 'women's work' (besides being a tenderhearted softboy), the weird dynamics where they take on paternal roles to each other but also roles of wives, how they feel about being this way, and just kind of Doesn't. Which I guess isn't an intrinsic fault (because it omits much of what I just talked about to begin with). it's just like.... Lame. This book takes jsut abandons everything interesting about the source text in favor of flattening it into bland Doomed Yaoi.

-The conflict that sets off the core story of the Iliad is Achilles and Agamemnon fighting over Briseis, an enslaved Trojan woman taken by Achilles as a war-trophy, Achilles spends most of the story moping because he was dishonored by his 'trophy' being taken. Achilles and Patroclus and everyone else are raping their captives, all the women in the story are either captured Trojans (or in the case of the free women within the walls of Troy, soon to be enslaved, and are slave owners themselves). Slavery as an institution and extreme patriarchal conventions are innate to the text and reflective of the context in which it was developed. You cannot avoid it.

But obviously you can't have your soft yaoi boys doing this, so the author has them capturing women to Protect Them from the other men. Their slaves are UNDER THEIR PROTECTION and VERY SAFE (and they might even Like And Befriend Them but I might be misremembering that. Briseis does though). Our heroes have apparently absorbed none of the ideals of the culture they exist in and the author seems to think "they're gay and aren't sexually attracted to their captives" would translate to them being outright benevolent (also as if wartime sexual violence is just about attraction and not part of a wider spectrum of violent acts to dehumanize and brutalize an accepted 'enemy')

In the source text, Briseis mourns Patroclus as being the kindest to her of her captors, who tried to get her a slightly better outcome by getting her married to Achilles (which probably would be the Least Bad of all possible outcomes for a woman in that situation, becoming a legal wife instead of a slave), and wonders what will happen to her now that he's gone. This is a really really sad, horrible, and compelling dynamic which could be fleshed out in very interesting ways but is instead is tossed entirely aside in favor of them being Besties. Like brother and sister.

All of the above pisses me off so much. If you don't want to engage in the icky parts of ancient/bronze age Greece then don't write a retelling of a story taking place in bronze age Greece. I'm not gonna get mad at children's adaptations of Greek myths or silly fun stories loosely based on them for omitting the rape and slavery but it is SO fundamental to the Iliad. If you're not willing to handle it, either fully omit it or better yet set your Iliad inspired yaoi in an invented swords-and-sandals setting where you can have all your heartbreaking tragic doomed lovers plot beats and not have to clumsily write around the women they're brutalizing.

-The author didn't seem to know what to do with Thetis and she made her just like, Achilles bitch mother who spends most of the story trying to separate our Yaoi Boys (iirc her disguising Achilles as a girl and hiding him on Scyros is made to be more about getting him away from Patroclus than trying to save her son from his prophesied doom in the Trojan War) until she sees how much they loooove each other and I think helps Patroclus' spirit get to the afterlife or something in the end?

-This is more of a personal taste gripe but it has that writing style I loathe where the prose feels less like a story and more like an attempt to string together Deep Beautiful Hard Hitting Poetic Lines that will look great as excerpts on booktok (might predate booktok but same vibe). It's all very Pretty and Haunting and Deep but feels devoid of real substance.

I really like The Iliad and The Odyssey in of themselves. They're fascinating historical texts that give a window into how 8th century BC Greeks told their stories, saw their world, interpreted their ancestors, etc. And genuinely I think these texts have 'good' characters, there's a lot of complexity and humanity to it.

WRT the Iliad- all of the main Achaeans are pretty fascinating, the one singular part where Briseis Gets To Talk and laments her situation is great, Achilles fantasizing that all of the Trojans AND the Achaeans die so he and Patroclus alone can have the glory of conquering Troy (wild), Achilles asking to embrace Patroclus' shade and reaching out for him but it's immaterial (and the shade being sucked back underground with a 'squeak' (the squeak kinda gets me it's disturbing and sad)), Hecuba talking about wanting to tear out Achilles' liver and eat it in a (taboo, exceptioally pointed) expression of rage and grief for his mutilation of her son's corpse, just one tiny line where the enslaved women performing ritual wailing for their dead captors are described as using it as an outlet to 'grieve for their own troubles' is heartrending, etc. A lot of grappling with anger and grief and the inevitability of death, a lot of groundwork laid for characters that could be very interesting when expanded upon in the framework of a conventional novel.

And Song Of Achilles really doesn't do much with all that. I know a lot of my gripes here are kind of just "It's different from the Iliad", I would have thought of it as mostly mediocre and forgettable rather than infuriating if it wasn't a retelling (and I DEFINITELY have strong biases here). But I think the ways in which it is different are less just a product of a retelling (of course there's going to be omissions and differences) and more a complete and utter disinterest in vast majority of its own subject matter, to the book's detriment. I think a retelling has a point when it EXPANDS on the source, or provides a NEW ANGLE to the source. This book doesn't Really do either, it just shaves off the complexity of its source material, renders the characters into a really boring archetype of a gay relationship, and gives very little else. Its content boils down to a middling tragic romance that has been inserted into the hollowed out defleshed skeleton of the Iliad.

Bottom line: I definitely would not be as mad about it if I wasn't familiar with the source material but I think it's fair to expect a retelling to Engage with/expand on its source, and I also think it's weak purely on its own merits. This book was set up to disappoint Me specifically.

[faceeeeee]

My scrawny ass is asking to hug syringeon or either Slow seline.

(just an ask lmao /nf)

This made me want to make a chart of which characters are more huggable……..*lightbulb appears*