#I AM THRIVING I AM LIVING I AM HAVING THE BEST TIME EVERRR

[dailykugisaki]

Day 271 | id in alt

Maki heard Kugisaki bar for bar and said "bet."

Good for her. (left to right.)

[rejectdolls]

Oh my gosh! It's already the second day in February! To me, it felt like January lasted 2 months. But here you are, one month down and a second month into 2024. Good job! There were some dour moments, but also some sunny ones as well. And for that, I am proud of you. Life is hard, but for 33 days you've been doing your best to live, survive and thrive. And that gives you 333 (We get an extra day this month, how exciting) you will be doing the same. It's a bit daunting, but with support you'll get there. And, guess what? I'm here cheering you on and giving you all sorts of support. As always, I hope you and your family remains healthy, and I hope you have time to practice some self-care that you absolutely deserve! Get yourself a yummy treat, please! - 💜💜 Victoria

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." - Maya Angelou

yesss! oh i know, it felt like the longest january EVERRR but i'm so glad february is finally here <3 there's just something so magical about it??? it's one of my favorite months. and that's so funny because i've been seeing the number 333 yesterday! i think we may be on the same wavelength ;) i'm wishing you and your family lots of love and good health too, be kind to yourself and i hope this month (and this year) brings you all kinds of happy surprises! you deserve it :) thank you so much for the love and positivity! ily!!!

[houseofkooks]

today we finish a very very stressful period of 2 weeks and i’m just glad i survived!!!!!

it was also our last applied anatomy class and it’s seriously my least favorite class EVERRR but the lead instructor is so so sweet and honestly the best professor here and this is our last class with him!!! :(

at the end of class, he told us a closing statement to motivate us, and it was honestly so heartwarming and encouraging. he told us a story about his biggest accomplishment as a PT, and how it’s so worth it. he said he told us this story so that even when we’re really tired from studying or stressed out from a hard week, we can remember what we’re working for and how rewarding it’ll be. and honestly that made me cry so much (also because the story he told was sad, but i’ll get to that later). it’s just that i think he’s the first professor to really encourage us in the way that i’d like to be encouraged-- with compassion and respect. so often in our classes, our professors just brush off our hard work and instead focus on giving us sarcastic comments about how incompetent we are, and how we need to study more because we clearly don’t know the material. but we’re trying! our! best!!!!!! i just don’t understand how difficult it would be to just say, “good job, you’re doing great but here’s some comments to help you be even better” instead of, “wow you didn’t know this? have you not been reading the textbook? it’s very unprofessional of you to not be studying the material you JUST LEARNED YESTERDAY DURING YOUR 10 HOUR DAY”. and during the practicals, it’s like they thrive off of your fear and your nervousness. of course there are exceptions and there are some nice professors (really just like, three. lol), but the overwhelming vibe i get at this school is that the professors don’t admit that they’re wrong or unfair, and they make a lot of mistakes that they don’t allow us to make. did they take some class on education that says that negative feedback yield better results of improvement? i don’t know. does fear instill more willingness to work hard? probably. but are we in a totalitarian system? are we supposed to be scared into studying? and it’s just like. is it really that difficult for them to just be kind, nurturing, empathetic individuals?? like as PTs, shouldn’t they be able to EMPATHIZE and maybe just be kind to people instead of giving biting remarks and expecting too much from people who are running low on sleep, patience, and sanity??? like what do they get from being condescending?? i don’t think i’ll ever understand that and i hope i never will. when i was working at the clinic and interacted a lot with my older coworkers, most of them were really nice but some of them also liked to hold over my head the fact that they’re older than me and have had more experience than me. like yes i get that and i acknowledge it!! i would listen to you and take your advice from that fact alone. but then some of them would just be like. wow you don’t do that? you didn’t know that? daphne. really? and. maybe it’s the way i present myself? maybe i give myself too little credit sometimes and it just makes me sound naive and stupid. and it’s true, i don’t have a lot of life experience and i’m basically not a functioning adult even at the ripe age of twenty freaking four lol, but i promise i can think and i have feelings!! everyone! has! fucking! feelings!!!!!!! little kids have feelings, annoying teenagers have sometimes too many feelings lol but every has feelings and WOULDN’T IT BE NICE IF YOU JUST TRY NOT TO HURT THEM. HONESTLY. THE WORLD IS SO MESSED UP BECAUSE PEOPLE JUST AREN’T. NICE TO EACH OTHER. LIKE IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO BE KIND? TO NOT MAKE PEOPLE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE? TO PRAISE INSTEAD OF DISCOURAGE, TO RESPECT RATHER THAN BELITTLE, TO HAVE EMPATHY OVER SELF-IMPORTANCE?!?!!?

i know i’m just ranting at this point but i’m writing this all down because i really really need to remember that one day when i’m a real adult aka have a real job and am somewhat in a position where i have power over people, i remember this. i want to be someone who can help my patients but also my friends and my coworkers. i want to be the dr. b for other people, and i hope i can always be there for people who need me to comfort them or encourage them!! because really, what is the point of life if i’m just living for myself. like life sucks as it is, and if you think about it as morbidly as you can, life just kind of gets worse the more you live it. nothing lasts forever, and the things you once had and once loved eventually disappear. it’s almost natural for people to grow apart with time. but exactly because nothing lasts forever, there’s so much variety in life to enjoy. and there’s always so much to learn, and i’m not even that keen on learning (i mean this whole thing is basically me hating on school). i just mean that there’s always room for improvement, and this isn’t just self-improvement for my own sake, because as a person, who i am and how i act really affects people around me. 

dr. b’s story was basically that he helped a patient with ALS throw a pitch at a minor league baseball game, and it was one of his greatest accomplishments ever. But a month after he discharged the patient, the patient passed away :( and i mean up till this point it was just so sad already because i thought of hajime and how i was so mean to him in elementary school even though he was just trying to be nice. and now als took him too :( and i’m so so sorry still. i just feel terrible because i didn’t know any better and i just thought it was weird that he kept trying to talk to me. but thinking back on it, he probably just felt bad for me because i was the new kid and i didn’t know english.

but i promise i know better now and i’ve known better since high school. and i promise i try my hardest now to be kind and to not make people feel uncomfortable in any way. and now i feel like i constantly learn so much about how to be a better person, like how to be more sensitive, understanding, and better at knowing what’s right and wrong. and just like how i’ve changed, i know people and society change!! even though there’s so much animosity and hate in the world still, so many more people understand the importance of mental health, the faults of stereotyping, the necessity of equality, etc etc compared to a couple of years ago. and i’m excited for that!!! i really am. and for myself, i want to be better so that i can be a positive presence in the lives of people i love and care for. because really, there’s nothing more important. because if i don’t even care about this, i don’t know what i’d care about to have enough courage and perseverance to brave through all this stress and fatigue. so yes here’s to self improvement!! :)