#I AM SO PASSIONTE ABOUT IT

[yasmeensh]

806jr propaganda because it's IMPORTANT!!! FAT BEAR WEEK VOTING!

I want you to meet 806jr. He went against all the fat bear cubs and came on top as fat bear junior champion. Look at this chunk of cub. And guess what, he's going against the BIG bears now in fat bear week. Today will decide his fate.

He made it SO FAR into the fat bear contest bracket that he's going against the BIG BOSS DOMINANT BEARS!!!

HE'S GOING AGAINST THE MIGHTY BEARS! IF HE LOSES TODAY THEN HE'S OUT FOREVER! It would be such a shame if he lost and I WANT HIM TO MAKE HISTORY! LETS MAKE A BABY BEAR WIN FAT BEAR WEEK!!! VOTE HERE!!!:

[you-and-me-always-forever]

The 2016 Ghostbuster movie, my beloved

[euphoniouspandemonium]

everyone says you are a time traveler or a vampire. I think you are a Librarian. Let me explain

knowing lots of interesting stuff, sharing that knowledge with the world, being passionte about it and leaving people completely in awe for that

you are like a burning flame, beautiful to watch <3

DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME. DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO MY HEART. I AM SOFT NOW. I HAVE NEVER BEEN DESCRIBED SO BEAUTIFULLY. I LOVE YOU /P.

[cheatingwiferelationshipstories]

extreme swinger fantasy

I have this swinger fantasy about my wife that me her and her boyfriend go to a swinger resort and my wife marries her boyfriend while I am the best man at the wedding. The groom takes off her ring, the ring that I put during our wedding and hands it over to me. While I give them a new ring so my wife’s boyfriend put it on my wife’s finger. I dance in happiness when my wife passiontely kisses her boyfriend.  Later that night I can film their conjugal night and months later she delivers her boyfriends child.

I should be the dotting daddy for my wife’s love child and I would come to the living room after putting our baby to sleep, while I can hear my wife enjoying her time with her boyfriend in our marital bed. Then I would play the wedding and my wife’s first night as her boy friends wife on my T.V jerking off to it.

[maddogmitch]

Here it is you lovely people the story on how Sobek met his now not so secret lover enjoy!!

                                          A Secret Love

The war of the gods has created much strife between all the patheons, blood has been spilt between on numerous occasions new enemies have been made, but through it all friendships have blossomed and even on the rare occasions love. Off the battlegrounds most gods forgive the words many have said and the actions taking against them, they party and hang out just like if they were normal. This wasn't always the case though, such as for Sobek the egyptian god of the nile, he wasn't one for hanging out with the gods or going to parties or such. He had made some friends though many water gods like himself others such as his best friend Agni are complete opposite of what he is like. One day while traveling with Agni across the grounds Sobek heard a whisper of pain coming from the bushes on the right of them, Sobek immeditately stopped and asked Agni to please be queit so he can see if he was just hearing things. The battlegrounds do have some lasting effects of hearing cries or such Sobek mostly drowns them out but this one sounded like it was a fellow god crying in pain. As Agni queited down he heard it too, it was a familiar voice that he knew. Sobek pushed the bushed aside and their layed Ao Kuang the Dragon Lord caught in what appeared to be one of Artemis traps, both Sobek and Agni were a bit shocked to see the Dragon Lord in this kind of position as he was almighty and powerful like the rest. Sobek kneeled down and asked "Are you alright friend?" Ao Kuang turned his head as much as he could and replied "No.. i been trapped in this thing for almost a day now... i am getting weak and dare i say it.. need some assitance.." his words with filled with pain and were very queit. Both Sobek and Agni stood there and thought for a few moments on how to get him out, Agni thought of burning the vines but Sobek quickly shot that down as it would do more harm than good, Sobek would of cutted Ao Kuang free with his blade but he forgot it at the camp and he knew he wasn't quick enough to go retrieve it. So he turned to Agni and sai "Quickly my friend run back to the camp as fast as you can, your flames are ever reaching and you can surely reach the campfire near my tent faster than i could swim there or run. When you get there fetch my blade and return here and some water and food too, i will give the Dragon Lord as much food as i have on me but it will not be enough, so please hurry" Agni nodded his head in agreement knowing full well that this was a dire situation and bolted as fast as he could down the paths as quickly as he could and conjuring up a quick fire to get there faster. Sobek smiled than sat down with the Dragon Lord and helped free some of his head with his claws, enough that he could move it freely and consume the food that Sobek had on him. Sobek opened up his sachel and pulled out some cooked meat and his bottle of water and began to feed Ao Kuang it, when he swalloed it he began to drink the water. He had regained enough streagth to speak properly now and he had to ask "Why do you assist me Sobek? Do you not know the tales of me and how much pain and destruction i have caused? Most gods would have just left me here to rot until the harpies come to free me" Sobek nodded and responded "I know of your tales friend, i have my own of where i devour any and all who disobey the rules of the nile. But i am of kind heart and know we must do what must be done to protect our domains, i know you went after Ne Zha because he killed your brothers and caused mayham at your riverside. Just like i attack ships that do not pay me for safe travels or shout me off as a myth. But thouse are only a few stories of us not the whole tale, i've watched you Ao Kuang from a distance, i've seen how you helped out others of yout patheon get used to mortals as they don't deal with them as much, i've watched as you burried the hatchet with the lotus prince, you are more than just a few tales. You are a caring god who does what he can with what he has and i respect that, heck i admire it" Sobek pulled out more food and gave it to the Dragon Lord, than looked off into the distance hopping to see his friend Agni running down the paths with his blade, but it was just the last bits of embers of Agnis temporary fire burning out. Ao Kuang looked up at Sobek with awe as he was right, he did care for others even though his tales would say otherwise, and for the first time someone not from his patheon was kind to him and understood what it was like to be ruler of something that is hard to control. "Sobek, you are right about me but do you belive that about yourself?" he asked as he swallowed the last bit of food he was given. Sobek looked down and knew the answer to that was no, he didn't believe that about himself, that there was more to him than his tales. Most gods of his patheon barely regard him as a friend most just talk to him because he is there, most of them fear him for what he is and what he does, even the egyptian lord of the underworld Anubis was disgusted at what he does. He turned to Ao Kuang and answered "No, because our cases are different in a few retrospects, your fellow gods speak to you and invite you to do things, as for the case of me they talk to me when they have to, and they all fear or are disgusted at what i do" Ao Kuang saw a tear form in the crocodile's eye, he knew he hit a soft spot and felt bad about it he tried to sit himself up but the vines just tightened, so he settled himself as best as he could "I appoligize for my question, but there are many things about you that thouse gods don't see in you. Like how you have a kind and caring heart that shows compasion to any and all no matter their background, you care for all the pets of the patheons better than what any other god could do, you are strong minded and robust and will not let anything turn you aside. You remind me of my good friend Sun Wu Kong, he may be of the hero side of things but he still had his struggles in his life, and i will tell you what i told him in thouse times, forget about thouse who doubt you or distrust you, it is their lost that you are not their friend not yours, move past them and find new friends who will trust you for your choices you have made and the friends you have picked" Sobek was moved by the Dragon Lords words, he smiled a little as it was true. He should just forget about the other gods of his patheon and make more friends out of it like he has already, he turned to Ao Kuang and gave him a kiss on the forehead "Thank you friend, you have given me the best advice i have ever received" Ao Kuang blushed and was about to say something when a blast of fire appeared, both of them looked over and it was the fire god Agni returning with Sobek's blade and food. Sobek grabbed the blade from his friend and thanked him, he than turned to Ao Kuang and told him to hold still as he sliced through all the vines freeing the Dragon Lord. Ao Kaung got up and streched his arms and legs and shouted with a loud thundering voice "I AM FREE!!" Sobek couldn't help but smile and check out the Dragon lord as he streched out, Agni saw this and smiled and went up to Ao Kuang  and whispered something in his ear. They both looked at Sobek which caught his interest, what were they talking about and was it about him? Agni came back to Sobek and said "I have to go my friend, but do not fret i asked the Dragon Lord here if he can walk you home the rest of the way and he agreed as he lives not that far from it himself, the other gods need me at the Hindu camp apparently Bakasura devored all the dry wood again and they need me to start the fire for tonights supper. Take care and be safe" The two hugged and Agni ran off back to his camp to feed what many dem the unfillable, Sobek walked up to Ao Kuang and said "Come my home is by the waters edge" and began to walk off towards it. The Dragon lord quickly followed and the two talked all the way there getting to know each other better, what they like and don't like. Suprisnely they had a lot in common with each other, they both loved the water, they both loved animals as Ao Kuang stated if Sobek ever needs help at the daycare he gladly lend a hand. They finally reached Sobek's home, both of them were said their little walk had to end but nethier of them would admit it. So Sobek thought of a great idea in keeping his new friend around a bit longer, he looked over to him "You must still be hungry, what i fed you isn't even enough to fill me up and you have the stomach of a dragon. Come stay as i make you a proper feast of WilderBeast and Gazelles" Ao Kuang smiled and accepeted the offer, the two both ate at least twelve Wilderbeast and at least sixteen gazelles, all were cooked over the open fire and was washed down with some honey beer that Sobek received from Ah Muzen Cab for watching his bee's for him. As the night went on the two found themselves  getting closer and closer too each other, soon they were touching, than they were cuddling. They both looked up at each other and Ao Kuang made his move. He gave Sobek a passionte kiss, that later broke into a make out session. The two soon went into Sobeks den, and made passionate love to each other for what remained of the night. When they both awoken there was no regret on ethiers face but they agreed they keep their love secret from the gods they couldn't trust and only tell their dearest friends, that being Agni for Sobek and Sun Wu Kong for Ao Kuang. They gave each other one final kiss before they went their seperate ways to each of their respective camps for the morning news. As he walked away from his first lover, he couldn't wait to find Agni and tell him, and also thank him for leaving the two be. He couldn't help but smile as he made it to the Egyptian camp and it was noticed by the other gods espeacially his mother Neith, she asked why he was in such a great mood and he replied he will tell her tonight when she comes by for Sunday supper. THE END

[elizabethrobertajones]

Do you have any ideas how Cas and Jack's relationship might look this season? We know Cas wants Jack to be the next coming if Christ that will bring "paradise" but Jack looks like a rando intern haha whats might happen if Jack isn't what Cas so ehh.. passiontely wanted him to be?

I have no clue how it will be even about these details you describe because to me these aren’t certain

(well the intern thing is)

I am on the side that Cas was… at the very least like… course corrected… onto having faith in Jack and that as per the name of the show there’s something slightly more supernatural going on there than JUST Cas having a complete change of opinion about Jack - that the factors are too complicated and confusing for it to just be Cas’s pure choice and just that he “wants” Jack to be the second coming, because nothing about it was framed as him making a decision to spare or believe in Jack until he flipped completely at the moment Kelly touched him - since I believe it all happened in that one hand hold power exchange thingy I can’t see Cas being given exactly perfect choice in it even if the alteration was just his motivations and faith when it came to interacting with him in 12x23 and his personality and emotional continuity were intact… It was sudden to me because it happened in a matter of seconds. So I think he’s not exactly like… bound to believe in Jack in that way when Jack is alive and conscious and making his own path in the world and can decide as well what part Cas has in that, and Cas has been through whatever he’s been through in death and back and how THAT has affected him… Basically I will need all 6 episodes before I will even venture to think about it unless there’s some really obvious stuff in the previous episodes. Because I want to see how Cas comes back. 

And I think even if he did randomly choose Jack and it was all his choice then it would be much easier for Cas to reconcile Jack doing whatever because he would believe in him and at least give him a say or whatever since that would make him just generally pro-Jack and think that as long as he wasn’t doing anything violent or evil then he’s going ahead being a force for good even if he is hanging out learning from the Winchesters rather than starting some grand plan (and Cas believes in the Winchesters and that they’re good people and a good influence ANYWAY so if it came to that it would be a non-problem if Jack was only chilling with them, although of course for the sake of drama it seems deeply unlikely he does spend the season just chilling with them…)

I mean idk the dynamic is so weird to me because Jack was influencing Cas from beyond the womb but I do NOT think he was doing it deliberately let alone with any sort of moral intent, because he was an unborn child and just super duper powerful, and the fact he was randomly opening AUs and causing power outages as well shows he has very little control over that power in the womb, and probably basically no idea what he was doing and just doing the god-tier level reacting to Kelly and whatever external stimulus he does recognise… 12x17 suggested he had above normal awareness because he looked at the doctor doing the ultrasound, but I think basically he will be mostly ~born yesterday~ and the whole point of the story will be to deal with his morality so it sort of demands he start as a blank slate which means that everything before that is the blank slate doing stuff without anything more than survival on his mind. So his relationship with Cas hasn’t really started but Cas may or may not have expectations of him. 

I think it just dovetails really nicely/badly with the overall addressing of Cas’s issues which essentially were put in the context of guardian angel to the Winchesters but in a bad way like the codependency, especially this year using Mary as the outside eyes on that and bringing back “angels are watching over you” etc… Cas’s issues are with the Winchesters (as 12x09 made abundantly clear) but then they transfer those over to Jack in a way that’s over dramatic for the sake of example and also so the Winchesters don’t have to screw over Cas to make the point that this is a bad thing… But I’m still waiting for pay off on any of these ideas, it’s just how I was reading the season and how it all came together. Because 12x01 set this up a LOT and we had in-depth discussions of it at the time, so I saw that as something that would naturally run through the season and I do think the Jack thing is an escalation of it in these terms and will continue thinking it unless it’s thoroughly trashed in season 13 (but I don’t think that will make my reading wrong this year because there’s so much textually like Kelly saying it and all the stuff on the side with the Winchesters is just plain text that is there to read).

But yeah however Cas reacts to Jack is something I can’t really guess at right now because the personal character level is really down to how Jack acts and is written, and as a character we basically know nothing about how he’ll shape up… Like it’s a pretty purposeful mystery about Cas and Jack both right now and from the few seconds of footage comparing Jack with season 4 Cas but even more spacey and with the born yesterday stuff on top of it to take away his depth that Cas obviously had as a billions of years old being and starting his personality from scratch… I mean I really have no clue but we’re not meant to >.> If Jack is a bit of a brat to Cas or sees him as a chance to get away from the Winchesters and start his grand plan, or Cas is furious at Jack or needy to him… That’s all stuff we CAN’T know yet and will determine a lot of what they want us to care about and how the story will play out but we’ll not know until we have actual footage of it all…

[pierced-coffeeaddict]

I dont wanna be dramatic but like, why am I so useless? I see my friend and she knows so much about history and is so passionte about it, I love seeing her talk about it, but I also feel so stupid for not being able to talk about anything like that... 

[jeromeswifu-blog]

Ian Gallagher - In Between

Summary: Ian can't decide if hes straight or gay and his friend Mari decides to help him find out Pair: Ian Gallagher and Mari Fandom: Shameless US I walked over to the Gallagher while they were hectic with some bad (really bad) issues. They were still like family especially Ian, I had known him since middle school and I was the first person to know he was gay. But lately he's been acting strange and yesterday he told me a girl looked hot. Thats fucking weird if your a gay male! I knocked on the door and Lip answered. He was smoking a cancer stick "You know you don't have to knock Mari." Lip said letting me in, "I know but its impolite to not. Is Ian here?" I asked looking up at him since he's taller. Yeah hes in our room, Lip left and sat down at the table. I walked to their room and knocked on the door politely. Despite living in the south side I was still rasied in a polite family. "Come in!" I heard Ian call from the otherside, I opened the door and saw him relaxing on his bed doing homework. "Hey ginger what ya doing?" I said hoping on the bed. "Math homework, I don' get any of this shit!" I laughed. And moved to sit next to him looking at what he was doing in math. Despite the fact I was the same age as Ian I was a year ahead since I skipped a grade. "Oh thats not hard--" "Mari can we talk?" Ian cut me off. I nodded "Of course what about?" He looked down shyly, "Ian you know you can tell me anything right?" He nodded. "Mari I'm really confused. Because I like guys...a lot but lately I've been getting attracted to woman and their...parts." He said looking down. "Maybe your bi-curious." He looked up at me. "Whats that?" He asked me "Its when a person like one sex but they have some sexual or romantic feelings for the other sex but their feelings for the other sex in your case men is stronger." He looked at me with his red eyebrows furrowed. "That does sound like that...maybe you could help me found out." He said scooting closer to me. "How can I do that?" I asked looking at him weird "Just see if when you do things that maybe are sexual if I get turned on." He said putting his hand on my  thigh. I looked at him  with wide eyes and then smiled. I have to admit I might have a small crush my ginger haired friend, honestly I was kinda sad when he told me he was gay. Its always the hot ones my mom told me. "Well what kinda sexual things do you want me to do." I asked leaning into him. "Surprise me." He said smirking. I smiled and got up from the bed, "Lets start simple" I said I stood up in front of him as he leaned back using his hands as support. I started slowly taking off my shirt throwing it on the ground next to me. I had a nice body not to brag, I was a little curvy with a pitete frame along with being skinny.

I smiled looking at him as his eyes trailed down "Do you like looking at this?" I asked he looked up at me "Its nice." he immediately went back to looking at m body. "Whats next?" He asked as his smirk grew larger. I smiled looking at him I let my hands go down my body the shorts I was wearing. I smiled at Ian as he intensly watched me un button and unzip my shorts pulling them down. Leaving me complete in my underwear. I'm so happy I decided to wear my black laced matching underwear! Ian nodded smirking looking at me "That gonna come off? He asked me smirking. "Do you want it to?" I asked back. He nodded slowly I crawled back onto the bed sitting infront of him again. "Take it off me." I said putting my hand on his. He let out a sexy chuckle and his hands went to my bra, I felt his chest against mine as he got closer to unhook my bra. My breath hitched, was I really doing this with Ian? Hes one of my best friend and I'm stripping in front of him. I heard my clamps unhook. My bra fell of and Ian moved back words looking at my somewhat small breast. "Now thats fucking great." He laughed a little bit. I blushed looking down "You don't think they're too small?" He laughed again "Honey their perfect. Now do I get to take off your panties?" I looked at him shocked. I'd never seen this side of Ian...kinda perverted. "If you want to..." I said smiling. Is this really happening? "Well stand up then." He said with his happy smile. I stood up and his hands immededitly went to my underwear but I placed my hands on top of his stopping him from taking them off. He looked up at me confused "Whats wrong....am I going to far?" He asked. I smiled at him "No its just...are you sure about this because if you take off my underwear I might not be able to control myself." I said. He looked up at me "Mari the truth is I really like you more than a friend...I always have but I thought I was gay and I was so confused and...I want this." I took my hands off his "Go ahead...I trust you Ian." He smiled up at me and took off my underwear. I sat down and spread my legs for him, he looked smiling at me making me blush. "Stop starring..." I said shyly. He laughed "I can't you just too beautifual." He said "You know it isn't fair." I said. "What isn't fair?" He asked confused "I'm naked and your fully dressed!" I said. He went to take off his shirt but Lip yelling interruped "Hey I'm gonna go out be back in a few hours!" He yelled and then we heard the front door slam shut. Ian looked at me "We're alone...wanna fuck?" I laughed at his bluntness. "Sure..." He instantly pulled me close and I gasped. He pulled me into a soft kiss but it eventually got rougher and more passionate. I moaned into the kiss and I felt Ian grab my bare ass making me gasp. He took the time to shove his tongue in my mouth claiming it as his own. 'He knew he was so dominant...' I thought. (Mickey knows) I started to take off Ian's shirt when his phone rang. "Don't answer it." I whispered against his lips. "I won't.." He helped me get off his shirt and as soon as it was off I went to his belt and started on getting his pants. A voicemail started to play "Hey Ian its me Micky I'm gonna come over later...I'll see you in like 2 hours later man be ready for me." The voicemail ended. "He's coming-" "We got two hours baby..don't worry thats enough." He said calming me down. I couldn't get this guys belt fucking off! "Having trouble?" He smirked I glared up at him. He stood up undoing his belt and pulled his pants off. He was left in his boxers, and I could see his erection in it. I went to him rubbing it slowly "What do you want me to do handsome..." I asked. He groaned feeling my rub it "I want you to get down on your knee's and let me use that pretty mouth." He said in a deep voice. I got down on your knees and pulled his boxers down and his hard dick went into my face. I started rubbing it "Your so big..." I said blushing. He chuckled I licked the tip of his hard dick. And slowly, slowly took it into my mouth. I hallowed out my cheeks slowly bobbing my head up and down. I heard him groan as I bobbed my head faster. He pulled my brown hair back into a ponytail using it to make me go deeper on him. He groaned again and then used my ponytail to make me stop sucking him. "Alright your turn." He smirked. He picked me up since he is much stronger then me and threw me (gently) onto the bed. He crawled onto the bed and spread my leps lowering his hand, "Mmm your so wet.." I felt his tongue flick my clit and I moaned. He started licking my folds "Ah...Ian your so good..." His tongue lapped in my folds as his finger found its way to my clit. "Ian! mmm god I'm gonna cum..." But the jerk stopped. "No, the only way your cumming is around my dick babygirl." He said crawling on top of me. As soon as his face got near mine I pulled him into a passionte kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he poisitioned himself to my entrance. He quickly shoved himself in, me being a bit tight around him. He groaned out feeling my walls, he started pumping in and out of me at a normal pace. Our lips were still locked intamitly. I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling him deeper inside me "You ever fuck a girl before?" I asked "Nope, but I've watched porn so I should know the basics." He said smugly. He started kissing my neck biting at parts on the way down his hands grabbed my breast. I moaned feeling an intense plesaure as he took his time with every part. "Ah...go faster." I moaned. He startd puming into me a lot faster making me let go of his neck  and grip the bed sheets. I felt my orgasm comeback into veiw,  I could tell he was close too. "Ian I'm close!" I moaned loudly. "No, wait I want us to cum together baby" He said in a deep voice. Fuck I loved his voice. He started pounding into me hard and faster the both of us we're moaning mess. "Ready Mari...cum cum for me baby!" It didn't take me long, my orgasm was big. I clenched around his hard (amazing) dick. Ian finally let out a long groan as his thrust got more sloppy. He gave two hard thrust and I felt his hot cum go into my body.  I pulled him into a kiss wrapping my arms around his neck

He flipped off of me grabbing the cover to his bed. He lazily threw it over me and him "Do you want me to leave?" I asked. He looked at me confused "Why would I want that?" He asked me back. "I just didn't know if you wanted me to stay...can I stay?" He nodded smiling. He put his arm around me and I rested my head on his chest along with one of my hands. "That was nice..." I said breaking the ice. "Yeah it was..." Ian replied smiling "Wanna do it again?" I smiled and went to nod but then I thought about something, Micky. "Aren't you with Micky?" You asked. "No...I-I don't know he says were just fucking and honestly I don't just want to be fucking someone." Ian said looking at me. "I'm not opposed to doing more then just fucking..." I said shrugging. Ian laughed "Good, because I wasn't gonna give you a choice. Now Micky's gonna be here in like 30 minutes you might want to hop in the shower, you smell like me." I nodded got dressed and walked to the bathroom running into Lip on the way. "I thought you left." I said he smiled "Well I was going to but then I heard moaning from my brothers room and you had just went into it so I decided to stick around." He said laughing and walked toward his and his brothers room. Just my fucking luck.

[aesthetic-dani]

Simple af. wanting to die doesn't come as a collection of sadness. At least not to me. For me, it was a realization  that lasted about 8 seconds. I just wanted to evaporate. Dissapear. oh my, I would have killed for it in those moments.... Let'’ make it clear though that my desire was not to end my life, but to pause from existing. Meaning part of the deal is coming back to living. I'm sorry to disapoint you if you were getting triggered... No I am not suicidal.

I cried sm. actually, I am crying rn. It is terribly hard to see the keyboard, and I am hoping the 'clack' of the spacebar wont wake up anybody. Yes, sneaky. Not supposed to be awake, or complaining, or feeling like shit. Actually I feel worse than how Hitler would have felt if he had had  an average's man conciousness. 

I am shit. I am shitty too. Two in one everybody, take advantage of the sale!!! And there girl too. Because if your blood and my blood are not closely related, I might happen to treat you more kindly. At least it is what mom says, and she's got a point. I am shitty. AND spoiled, and selfish, and a son (well daughter) of a bitch. (yes, my mother did say those words, and perhaps didn't mean them in the sense that I AM her daughter). what can I truly say? I am scared of the world, I am clingy towards my parents, and I find this to be true mostly because they subconciously make me feel guilty about  going out, I am not really a daredevil. I am scared of what is out there. I have zero exposure. Mother says I go to friend's houses and all but! such friends live within a 5 mile  radius and mother has a handbook as to times, events, transportation, guests and so on. I truly think I wouldn't be much different with my future daughter. I still think about it. What would I do? I am not quite certain. 

I am very scared of what life will do to me... I have not been good. Not honestly. How I treat my siblings, my mother and father, even myself. I do not talk with God anymore. Not quite sure how I did it, or if I ever did. Truth it I felt more at home... Probably because I was younger and less scared. Had less chances to be scared. I want a bright future but I am shitty, sorry for this writter's lack for a better adj. I am terribly scared of when life will take my parents from me. And my siblings. And when they all stop being fun and  turn into, you know, every other grown up with his/her problems to be bitter about. Wait up, THAT IS MEEEE !!!! ajhkfluhrl. I do not know how to feel greater emotion towards my siblings. I can talk quite passiontely about my siblings, but when it comes to talking to them it seems like when you've been waiting to meet your idol, and when you finally fo they happen to be odly human. As if all the stories you had told about them were partially fiction, and adorned with glitter and ribbons (elementary school project type of thing, where the triptych board is overlly decorated to make up for how lame the graphs and charts about water evaporation are ). I am with them and I long for home. Yes, tofay I had both mom and dad crying and yelling at me about how this issue is olf now. How it all started 8 years ago and it stays there... In the past. Thst wasn;t so easy for me. Maybe as an artist you unconsciously try to find something to be butt hurt about, so you can dig deeper into that idea and then make a ton of work about how a tiny event or person impacted you. 

Mom cries, Dad yells. Then mother screams and punches as dad has an intimate moment with the tv remote. I am there decifing wether to breathe or help the boogers from covering a third of my face, or wipe the tears from my burning eyes. I am not the easiest child, but I am worth saving. I know I am selfish and plain out disgusting character wise. But I feel a sort of helplessness as  to what I can do. Am I trying my hardest? No. I am just as lazy as every other  human. And I wish not to be. But I do want to be more humble. Feel as if what I have I am not entitled to, but I have earned. To feel goo for my siblings working when the trip was a family thing. I wish I had the money so that they wouldnt have to worry much about that. I am weird. I feel embarrassed for having more oportunities than they so, so instead of being humble about it for some reason I turn arrogant. I go with the whole, "yeah but at least you 3 had each other" argument to put aside how I feel lonely, yet I have more opportunities, do not, get physically beaten and actually have food on my plate (unlike my siblings during their childhood). I feel bad that they have to work so hard. I truly do. I guess my way of saying that was "why won't you just spenf time with me instead of working?". I know, shitty position a) spoiled sister that I love and want to communicate but I am not sure how to or b) Making the money that we are putting into this trip and be able to not have good times here and not be broke when we head back home.  Again, I am not easy, but I am kinda worth investing. I wish it would just hit me tomorrow morning and stick w me for ever. Being humble. It would be.... Great. But scary truth is that when life teaches you how to be humble, it does so by taking things away. And i am terribly scared of what life can do. First the car, then..... Lets not talk about it. 

Again with the going out... yes. But come on if mom and dad can not take me, and do not want me to Lyft places and will not allow me to stay over at anyone's place, then what am I supposed to do? I love my friend that lives nearby, but there are honestly so many things and places out there. And IK I sound as if I was in a rush to live but..... I am scared. And I am scared that if I do not start learning how to detach now, I will never do. I love my parents and want to be w them. But I also want to be able to be places and know they feel alright. Okay, yes. That one that that I could've been almost raped, or it looked like something was off. I get it. I was scared af, but I don't really know how else can I learn if I am not out there,

I do want a car so that I won't have to be a burden to my parents. So that I can try to be more out there, on my own terms. Without the whole, "Mom has to work so you either go there early/late or not at all". I study near a very cool area in my city, a culture center and I don't even know what is going on around me. What Will I say about my teen years when I am older? "Oh yea, the school assignments were fantastic!!"   I want to live more in the moment, and I am scared and I do not wish to be. I honestly think about what is going on rn... Everywhere! And I just live in such a cool place but do nothing cool with it. I really hope that I get to figure things out. I guess I want to be more grown up, But I am scared. Prettier, but I am scared. I want to get back on shape u know... With everything. I feel guilty about acting as if I was entitled to things and not value them, that my siblings and parents have to work so hard, that mom and dad have to drive me around places, about the things that i want. My car, and surgery and advenruring. God, universe, karma, please treat me kindly. Maybe put someone in my path that makes me less scared, more humble and such.

Very few times did I mean to hurt people. I want to stop, I want to shut up. I want to FEEL pretty and I want to not be scared

There, I think I have said enough. *sighs*

Tomorrow is a new day. Be better.

5-24-17      12:56 am.

[kookie-vith-suga]

Forever

Summary: Forever is a strong word.

Word count: 1625

Warnings: ANGST

Author’s note: Summary sucks sorry. A quick thing I wrote inspired by Bruno Mars’s “When I was your man”. It is written from Jackson POV. Just so you know ;) Let’s enjoy!

Check out my masterlist ;)

Most recent release: Favourite song part 3

“So you’re coming to the party right?”, Jaebum ensured.

“Of course! How could I possibly miss that?!”, I questioned while laughing.

“Right. Very good.”

“Err..Jaebum. I think you forgot something very important”, Jinyoung nudged him with his elbow.

Jaebum looked confused.

“Because of Y/N”, Jinyoung murmered under his breath.

“Oh yeah..umm Jackson! I invited Y/N”, Jaebum confessed.

A displeasing silence spread between us for a while.

I was the first one to speak again: “You know it’s fine. She was a really good friend of yours and I understand that you did that. We broke up a year ago and although we haven’t seen each other since then I’m sure we can spent one night together. On behalf of such a good friend”, I reassured him with a smile.

What they didn’t knew was that this smile was faked. I did my best to not show my uneasy feelings. Everyone thought I was back again after the break up. But I wasn’t. I just hoped nobody would notice it.

The next weekend was quick to come and I had prepared my outfit for the party. I went to Jaebum’s place a little earlier to help put up all the decorations. The party started at 9 and the first guest came around 9:15. Around 10 it was already pretty packed so that Jaebum climbed on a table to make a announcement.

“Hello to all of you! I happy that you guys came to celebrate my birthday with me! I just letting you know that the buffet is opened.! So please help yourselves! And enjoy the rest of the evening!” A wave of applause and whistling began. Immediately after that everyone began to squeeze themself towards the dinning room.

“Nice speech”, I teased Jaebum who grabbed his drink from my hand.

“I thought a lot about it”, he joked and hit me playfully. I laughed. A question was preying on my mind.

“Did Y/N arrived already?”

“Ummm…I don’t know…wait isn’t that her?”,Jaebum pointed to the door.

I spun around and saw her entering the room. I held my breath. She looks stunning. Just as I remembered her. Instantly I felt urge to touch her. I was about to make a step towards her as I freezed in my position again.  A weird mixture of guilt and desire spread in my chest. Her eyes had scanned through the room before they had stopped on us. A smile spread over her face and she made her way over to us. Oh that smile…

“Jaebum! Happy Birthday”, she pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Thank you. I’m happy you could make it”, he responded.

“I wouldn’t pass a chance to party with my boys.” Her eyes fell on me while she said that.

“Hello Jackson”, she greeted me. No hug. No touch. Just a mysterious look in her eyes.

Suddenly I felt incredible embarassed. I scratched my neck and avoided her eyes. “Hello Y/N. How have you been?”

“Good”, she answered shortly.

What does that mean? Good?!

“And you?”, she added.

“Good.” I smiled awkwardly. Why are you lying?!, I yelled at myself, Tell her you missed her and that you are sorry and that you want her back!  I shook my head to get all these thoughts out. That earned me a strange look from Jaebum and Y/N.

“Oh I see.” I believed to hear a hint of dissapointment in her voice.

She turned back to Jaebum. “I will get something to drink.” Jaebum nodded. She disappeared into the crowd.

I sighed out noisily.

“She seemed to be fine..Are you okay?”, Jaebum put his hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah, sure. I’m gonna grab something to eat”, I lied and withdrew myself from his touch.

I went to the washroom. Cold water hit my face. Is she really okay? Am I okay?  These questions made me feel like I was standing on needles. I should talk to her. Maybe that could clear things.

Strong-willed I stepped out of the bathroom and pressed my way towards the living room. Well now it was just a big dance floor filled with people. Before I could enter that chaos I felt a someone slapping my butt. I spun around. Mark sneaked an arms around my shoulders.

“Hey Jackson, lets go drink something!”, he ordered and pulled me with him out of the room. We found ourselves back in the kitchen. Bambam was taking a shot with a stranger. Mark and I consorted with them. Immediately they had filled four shot glasses. Mark handed me one and laughed.

“A drink to the best friend ever. Im Jaebum! We love you”,Bambam annouced solemnly and downed his shot. He was already pretty tipsy.

It felt weird to toast on someone who wasn’t even in the room but I did it anyway. I shrugged after the strong liquid ran down my throat. The glasses were filled again.

“For the polar bears”, Bambam yelled and downed the next one. I downed another one before I remembered my actual mission.

“I will go dancing”, I told Mark and turned around just to be stopped a second later.

“No. Stay!”, Mark demanded.

“I have to resolve something”, I explained.

Mark still didn’t let go. “Come on. 2 more shots and Bambam will do everything! You don’t want to miss that”, Mark insisted.

“Sorry man. But this is really important.” I yanked my arm away and went to the living room and froze. I heard Mark calling my name but I shut it out. My eyes had locked on a well known small figure pressed against a wall of the room. A taller guy was roaming her hands all over her body. They were kissing. Passiontely. Hot. I saw Y/N tugging on his lower lip and pulling him closer. If that was possible at all.

Anger boiled up in me. I stomped towards them and pushed the guy away with all my strength. Both of their faced in total shock looking at me.

“Who is that guy?”, I screamed.

“Jack…”, she began but the tall guy interrupted her.

“Who are you?! Stop bothering my girlfriend!”, he pushed me. I stumbled a few steps back. I couldn’t belive what I just heard.

“Girlfriend?! What the fuck is he talking about, Y/N?! Why was he kissing you?!”, I asked furiously.

“Because he is my boyfriend!”, Y/N yelled over the loud music. My eyes widen and I couldn’t really explain my next action but I lunged out and my fist landed in the boy’s face. He landed on the ground.

“Jungkook!”, Y/N cried out and ran to him. He was standing again faster than I would have imagined him. Considering i hit him with all my strength. His arms were in front of him now. He looked ready to fight. But I was too.

But before any of us could sent any more punches I felt somebody pulling me back. Same with him.

“If you had only stayed with us”, Mark murmured while forcing me out of the room. But this time he didn’t stopped till the back door was closed behind us. A fresh breeze brushed over my body and I could see the moon shining behind some clouds.

“That is why I didn’t wanted you to go in there”; Mark explained.

“So you knew it?!”, I snapped.

“No, I didn’t. I just saw it earlier.”, Mark confessed.

“Why didn’t you tell me then?!” I felt betrayed.

“Because I didn’t knew how you would react. You seemed to be so stable after your realtionship ended but I was still unsure..”

Mark found my sore spot. I sat down and pulled my knees in so I could rest my chin on them.

“I weren’t okay. I’m still not okay. I still love Y/N! I never stopped”, I told him swallowing hardly.

“Then why did you allowed me to go?!”,a small fragile voice echoed through the garden. We both spun around to see Y/N standing in the door frame. Mark knew without a word of mine that this was something we had to talk out. So he gave me an encouraging pat on the back before reentering the house. I stood up to face her. Her eyes were watery. I stretched my arm out but stopped as I saw the pain in her eyes.

“I didn’t knew what I had in you! I couldn’t appreciate you properly! I was just too young, too dumb to realize I need you”, I admitted.

“Don’t lie! You didn’t stopped me. You accepted it. You haven’t contacted me at all. How was I supposed to feel?! I am nothing to you!”, she began hammering her fists against my chest.

Her harsh tone hurted more than her fists could ever hurt me. I grabbed her wrists to stop her. She looked up to me. Tears had smudged her make up.

“You were my everything! Always been. Always be” My hand grazed over her cheek. “Let’s just start over, Y/N! I’ll do it all better now!”, I put all my faith in my voice to show her I was serious.

“I can’t.” In slow motion she pulled herself out of my touch. “I love Jungkook. Sincerly. He was there for me. Always.”

 “Always”, I huffed and sank to my knees. She stepped towards the door but before she opened the door I rose my voice:

“I will love you forever!”

“Forever is a strong word, Jackson.”

Done. It is so late again. @.@Feedback is strongly wished for 😍😍😄 I hope you like this and stay tuned for more stories :)

[failure-to-ignite]

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU GO THROUGH MY BLOG. THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.

Today you made me so happy without even trying. I only seen you for and hour and 45 mins,but they were the best minutes of my day/week. You cracked alot of smiles without even knowing. Don’t worry I seen them :) seeing you smile my belly was rolling like a little kid who has just discovered mud.

And I know it’s disgusting,but when you let out that ear piercing fart all I wanted to do was laugh so hard that I was sick. It’s all the small stuff that matters,and you makes me beyond happy that you are that comfortable around me you can be gross,but you know I will be gross with you:)

I have missed you beyond words you can’t even imagine. When I’m away from you all I can picture is you layed next to me, without any make up on,hair tied up and you are in the biggest jumper,like 5 sizes to big and your leopard print Jim jams bottom. I don’t forget details. I miss it even when you pop all my spots on my face even tho it hurts like hell,but I will endure the pain as it makes you smile,and you let me have a go at popping all yours,but you know me I’m crap at popping them.

And it’s really nice that you want to meet my new friends. You are well and truly stepping out of your comfort zone,but I’m so fucking proud of you. So proud. You’ve come a very long way. You’ve grown as a person,and as a women. And I want to continue to help you grow,as a person. Helping you concour your fears,so that you can skip down the road hand in hand without a care in the world. The day I see that happen I know I gave it my all and did some good in the world. So people say that they were put on the earth for a reason,and I know my reason. To make you laugh,be there when you cry,be your punching bag if you so need it and even hold your hair,and rub your back when you’ve been sick.

You are my Soul mate in every way. My best friend my true love. Hopefully the mother to my children and the wife on my arm. Because I’m ready for all that. I know I said when we were together I didn’t feel like I was ready,but I am ready,so long as you are. If not I can wait,because I will wait a life time if that means I can do it with you. If I could get down on one knee right this second. And by the way it’s 19.10 on a Friday night and I would do it in a heart beat. I would run upstairs, go to your mum’s jewellery box. Get your grandmas ring get down on one knee in front of your mum and Paul and ask you to marry me. Because I want nothing more then to spend a life time with you,full of happiness and joy,and if there comes a time when you don’t feel happy or joy full I will help you get back on your feet,as you don’t give up on the people you love,ansnd I love you.

This leads me to my last paragraph. My love got you. This is going to be a long one,so pop your feet up. Get a cup of tea and relax. My love for you is like all the seasons at once. I know corny,but bear with me. All will be explained. That’s if you have even have got this far. My live for you is like all the seasons at once. Spring, starting of the new year with fresh flowers. The flowers symbolises you beauty,they are full of colour and great smells like you. They make the dullest or green grass like a rainbow has blessed it. You are my flowers and I am the green grass. You bless me with colour and great smells.

Summer. Yep here we go again. In summer lambs are starting to be born and new life is being brought into the world,the sun is shining birds are tweeting away. And I don’t mean twitter. They are singing to there hearts content. You are my sun. You brighten the way on dark days with your beauty and your ora. When I’m with you bad days aren't bad. They are perfect. I forget about them,as they don’t matter only you matter. And you are my birds when I hear your voice the world is drowned out,and all I can focus on is the movement of you tounge and lips as they make vibration of beauty. A bit of music talk for you there. See I’m learning:) and last but not least you are my lambs. When they are born they all full of joy running around. You bring that out of me and when you have your mad five minutes you are like a little lamb :) see I can be cute.

Autume. More than likely spelt it wrong,but I’m going with it. In Autume the leaves are starting to change colour and starting to fall,but that’s not all ways a bad thing? They are still beautiful colours in my eyes,as I love orange :) you are my leaves. You may have bad days where you just want to to fall like leaves,but the wind always seems to pick them up and move them on to a new place like I don’t know a house or a field or even under a different tree. You and I are the wind. We pick each other up brush each other off and get back to it,and if you can’t we can always sit under a tree.

Winter. This is my favourite time of year. I know it’s cold,but hear me out. Winter is cold,wet,slippy. Sorry wasn’t meant to sound rude,but you get my point. Cold you are the complete opposite to cold. You give me warm hugs,warm kisses and run my baths,so I don’t freeze. And I do the same for you. Wet this is going to be a tough one to explain but I got this. Wet can you used to explain someone who is a push over,but I can tell you this you are not a push over. You can stand on your own two feet,speak your mind and know where you are going. And I love that about you. Slippy. I take that back this one is going to be harder to explain,but I’m getting there. You are my super grip shoes that stop me sliding around even tho at times I feel like I want to slide around. You keep me on the straight and narrow and keeping me heading in the right direction,and I want to do that for you.

Thank you so much even if you made it this far. Take my words. Like you take air in your lungs. I love you with so much passion. I won’t be the man I am today if it wasn’t for you. I would still be that little emo kid with ear stretchers piercing and long black hair. I know I looked okay,but that’s not the point. You have made me a man. Not a boy a man. You got me my first job. Even if it’s the worst job I’ve ever done. You picked me up when that got me down,you gave me the strength to leave,and you got me back into the job I am today. Thank you for that.

I’ve spent more of my time saying I’m sorry instead of saying thank you. Thank you for all you have done,and I should never have taken you for granted,and that’s never going to happen again.

I love you Jay louise dale. (Jelly bean) 16.06.13 was the day my life changed for the better and thank you again for that. 16.06.13- forever baby.

Thank you for eyes and passionts and your brain for reading probably the mushiest I have ever been in my entire life. That’s how you make me feel. And I’m proud to of even known you let alone be your man. You make me proud ever day without even trying.

P.s I love you 😘