diorlusional

[astrxealis]

started rereading the pjo series the other day actually wawawa still my favorite fr it means the world to me :(( but yeah also! rewatched big hero 6 and ngl it probably really is my favorite movie for many personal reasons hehe AND THEN also watched the first part of hamilton on tv w my parents they loved it hehehe

[hemmingsleclerc]

Charles proposing to us (we’re a super famous singer so also the public’s reactions). But overall how he’d do it, his family’s reactions, the grids reactions, etc. If you’d be up for it, maybe x male reader - but if you’re not female reader is fine :)

Happy ending ┃charles leclerc

pairing(s): charles leclerc x male!reader

fc: jonathan bailey

a/n:such a cute request, just fluff and cried while writing it, hope u like it 🤍🫶🏻🫧🐚🌊

Charles had been planning this moment for months. Ever since he met Y/N, he knew that he was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Y/N, a world famous singer, had stolen his heart with his kind soul and the way he made him laugh and completely understood him. That night, at his concert, he was going to propose.

The lights went down in the arena and the crowd went wild as Y/N took the stage. Many celebrities were there to see the concert as well. Charles was backstage, pacing nervously, holding the small velvet box that contained the ring and mentally repeating the speech he had prepared while his heart pounded in his chest.

Halfway through the set, Y/N paused to catch his breath and address the audience. "Thank you all for being here tonight. This next song is very special to me and I hope you enjoy it." The first notes of the piano filled the air and as Y/N began to sing, Charles walked to the side of the stage.

When the song ended, Y/N looked at the audience without realizing that Charles was walking right towards him, with a microphone in hand, a little nervous as the audience went crazy for his presence..

"Hello, everyone," Charles said, his voice shaking as he laughed nervously. "I'm sorry to interrupt this incredible moment, but I have something very important to ask." He turned to Y/N, his eyes filled with love and adoration. "From the moment I met you, I knew my life would never be the same. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I can't imagine spending another day without you by my side." While Charles was saying all this, Y/N couldn't believe it.

He then knelt down as he pulled the small box out of his suit pocket and the crowd erupted in cheers, feeling lucky to witness this live. Y/N covered his mouth in shock. "Will you marry me?" Charles asked, opening the box to reveal a stunning diamond ring.

Y/N answered yes happily, unable to speak, he stood him up and kissed him passionately and hugged him lovingly. The crowd went crazy.

Backstage, Charles's family watched the proposal on a monitor. Pascale, his mother, was in tears, hugging Arthur and Lorenzo tightly. "I'm so happy for him," she said, her voice choked with emotion. "They are perfect for each other, I am happy that he never listened to those comments and decided to be happy for who he is, love is love, and no one has to forbid it.''

On the grid, news of the proposal spread quickly. Lando couldn't contain his excitement, jumping up and down and shouting, "Yes! Finally!" Max smiled hugely and quickly congratulated Charles. Pierre was smiling from ear to ear and clapping his hands vigorously on the verge of shedding a few tears, he just was so happy for his best friend.

And then there was Sebastian, who had always been like a father to Charles. He called to congratulate him personally. "I always told you to follow your heart, Charles. You deserve all the happiness in the world, no one can tell you what to do or who to be, love is for everyone and I am deeply proud and happy that you have found your person."

ynln and charles_leclerc

Liked by pierregasly, arianagrande and 17,582,837 others

charles_leclerc finally I married my best friend, love you endlessly 🤍🤍🤍

ynln 🤍❗️💍

zendaya so happy for both 🥹👏🏻

blakelively 😍❤️❤️

taylorswift I ADORE YOU!!! CONGRATULATIONS 💕💕

landonorris I’m sobbing, love you guys

pierregasly so proud of you charles, you really found your other half 👏🏻

arianagrande OH MY GOD!!!! I can’t even express how proud, happy and enchanted I am for u two, you’re truly made for one another 💕🫧🫶🏻 I love you both so dearly and wish you the very best 💐🌈💌

[forzarma]

world’s best teacher

lewis hamilton x fem! Reader x students

A/N: i couldn’t stop thinking about this so i had to do it😭(not proofread)

10 years ago, you found out you were pregnant. You were buzzing, but your happiness unfortunately didn’t last long as you discovered you had a miscarriage. Your life was miserable, but thank God, Lewis was with you through your ups and downs. After 12 years of marriage, you’re still together, stronger than ever.

After 3 years of your miscarriage, you decided to go back to work as a school teacher. After you got pregnant with twins in 2017, it lightened up your life.

You can’t say being a teacher is an easy thing, if you’re being honest, but you love your students to the moon and back. You even treat them as your kids.

Of course, they know that their teacher is married to one of the best F1 drivers in history, if not the best, and they love it. They don’t go a day without mentioning how you are their favorite.

They even met your kids multiple times before, during school events where you brought them with you.

“Good morning, everyone,” you say as you enter the classroom.

“Good morning, Ms.,” they say back.

You greet them as you wait for the others to enter the class.

“So, I want to discuss something with you guys,” you’ve said.

“As we all know, last exam, you guys really disappointed me with the results,” you continued.

“Hmm,” they hummed.

“And we all know the next exam is in one month, so I want you to prepare as best as you can. And I have a surprise for you: if you score above 90, you can pick any reward you want. It could be anything, for example, a concert ticket of your favorite artist, a paddock pass that comes with meeting the drivers, etc. Which means you’re going with me, or a football game ticket to watch your favorite team.”

Your students buzz with excitement.

“Really, miss?”

The room erupts with chatter, feeling their energy and determination.

A month later, you’ve already graded the exams. You stand in front of the class with a stack of papers.

“I’m really proud of all of you,” you begin. “You’ve worked really hard, and you guys did not disappoint this time, so let’s see the results.”

“First, Livvy, you’ve got a 92. What would you like as your reward?”

Livvy beams. “I want to go to a Raye concert.”

“Done,” you replied, making a note. “Jason, you’ve got a 95. What about you?”

Jason grins. “I want the paddock pass.”

“Excellent choice,” you wink at him. You always knew he was a die-hard F1 fan.

You continued down the list. “Olivia, 89, so close but still great job.”

Olivia nods, smiling. “Thank you, miss.”

“Finally, Nick, 91. What’s your pick?”

Nick thinks for a moment. “I think I’d pick the football match.”

“Alright,” you agree. “We’ll make it happen.”

After everyone has chosen their rewards, you gather them together.

“I want you all to know how proud I am of each one of you. You’ve worked incredibly hard, and you deserve these rewards. Remember, this is just the beginning. Keep striving for excellence, and you’ll achieve great things.”

After saying goodbye to your students, you head home, still feeling excited. When you walk in, you see Lewis, and you can't wait to tell him about your day.

You give him a big hug and say, "Lewis, today was amazing!"

Lewis smiles and asks, "What happened?"

You tell him all about it, from the rewards you gave to the happy faces of your students. Lewis listens carefully, proud of you the whole time.

"Wow, that's awesome!" Lewis says, giving you a kiss on the forehead. "I'm really proud of you."

You feel warm inside, knowing he's there for you. You spend the evening talking and enjoying each other's company. As you go to bed, you feel grateful for your life together with Lewis and the twins.

theycallmelivvy has posted

Liked by yn,lewishamilton and 3,268 others.

theycallmelivvy: MS y/n appreciation post🙏🏼

See 350 comments

jasonthecoolest: hail my glorious queen

whatthesigma: oh how i love her

yn: i love you guys🥹💕

f1.wags has posted

liked by f1.paddock,ynupdates and 350,679 others

f1.wags: apparently yn hamilton. Lewis Hamiltons wife has made some incredible promises to her students sources say she said if they got above 90 she’d reward them with whatever they like and some of her students chose the f1 race choice what an incredible teacher💕

view 78,572 comments

ibelieveinlestappen: oh my teacher could never

ilovelewishamilton: how i love her omgg

F1updates: god bless my queen

theylovejackey: THATS MY FREAKING TEACHER EVERYBODY

f1fantasy: that’s why there were some people we’ve never seen makes sense now!

[eee-lordy]

Number 13 please? I love sickfics!

here is a short little sick/comfort blurb for ya 😍

"I don't feel so good."

───※ ·❆· ※───

Jacob was bounding across the tarmac, suitcases flying behind him. After one long movie shoot and a never ending press tour he was finally home.

You stood giddy, watching him step closer and closer to car you waited outside of. Ever since he left to film, Jacob phoned every day, dreaming up plans with you for when he landed home again. There were countless dinners and dates and trips he couldn't wait to make happen with you, and it was finally time.

"My love!" You called, when he was finally in ear shot. Jacob halted his luggage by the tires of your car and swept you into an embrace that sent your heart fluttering. You hugged him back and let him lift your feet off the ground and rushed to stand and face him when you registered his sniffles.

"Miss me that much?!" You cooed. Jacob's eyes were red and misty, and then he spoke.

"Well duh. But... I don't feel so good." The poor guys voice was worn and you could tell now that there was a pallor to his face.

"Oh babe, come on let's get you home." You pet his face and watched as he grumbled in frustration, still keeping a hold of you.

"But we have reservations tonight. I really want to take you out. It's been too long-" Jacob whined and sniffled.

"Hey, s'okay. We can still make up for lost time without big plans. Don't argue! Get in the car, you poor tired thing." With a nudge, you directed your boy to head to the passenger seat while you snatched his luggage before he could reach it.

///

That night you whipped up a cocktail of cold remedies, drew a bath that was probably too hot, and dotted on Jacob's every move.

"S'just a cold love, I'm not a cripple or something." Jacob laughed a stuffy chuckle as you presented him with a warm pair of joggers and an old concert tee.

"Even if you weren't sick I'd still be all over you silly. I've waited months to trail behind you like a lost puppy. Months!"

"God I'm so glad you're who I've got to come home too. Once I don't feel on the verge of constantly passing out, you're getting this treatment times a billion." Your sweet boy ended his declaration with a vicious cough.

He'd pushed himself so hard this last handleful if months, to get his film finished and promoted and get the hell home. It was no wonder he caught a little something at the tail end of his never ending adventure.

You saw Jacob off to bed, tucking yourself in at his side and insisting he save stories of his time away for the morning.

///

The next day you snuck to the kitchen to cook up a big breakfast, letting him sleep away the sick and relishing in the simple fact that he was home at long last.

When Jacob finally padded into the main living space he tried insisting he felt much better, beginning a speech about taking you on a date.

"Absolutely not." You waved off the offer and sat the tall guy down. Neither of you were going anywhere until the red left his eyes and the sniffles stopped entirely. You ordered takeaway and kept Jacob on a steady cup of hot hot tea.

After a day of lounging, he seemed almost back to normal. Though you were hesitant to offer, you said "If you're still this lively by tomorrow night, I'll go out with you."

"Swear?" Jacob rose a brow, grinning in anticipation. You held out a pinkie as if to promise. You weren't long up, cozy in bed with your beloved boy, another early night.

And then... you woke up coughing. Awe fuck.

You tried to play it off. Like a passing tickle in your throat. But soon you were sat up sniveling away, much to your dismay. All your racket woke up the man at your side. And he registered your condition right off.

Jacob let out a low chuckle of surprise, a smile growing wider as he sat up to reach out to you.

"Jacob Elordi are you excited that I'm sick?"

"Of course not." He responded, planting a firm kiss to your head. "But I am looking forward to taking as much care of you as you've taken care of me the past two days."

You cooed and cuddled closer to his side, feeling weaker now that the sickness was unavoidably addressed.

"Don't you dare move. It's my turn now, my love." Jacob smiled, locking those beautiful dark eyes on yours before getting up to follow in your footsteps. Cooking and cleaning and laying out your clothes so you didn't have to lift a finger.

You were bummed to miss another night out. But you were so damn glad Jacob didn't let a little sickness ruin the time the pair of you had been waiting to spend connecting again after so long.

───※ ·❆· ※───

[sumire-no-nikki]

Hardy Days

January is a month that takes some time to break into like brand new shoes. It always feels longer than it is. It has been a while since I’ve been online properly though for the best reasons. My days have been full. My desk succumbs to entropy just as soon as I’ve tidied it up, my planner is abundant with marks, overflowing with tasks in constant flux. But that just means my hours are well consumed. My days feel very lived in and I’m endlessly thankful for that.

It hasn’t been all work though! I managed to read 4 books so far this month, two of which I would like to mention here. The first book I read is Before We Say Goodbye, which is the fourth book in the Before the Coffee Gets Cold Series by Toshikazu Kawaguchi. I think the fourth one is my favorite so far, if not a close second to the first book. This one made me cry so hard it felt like a cardio exercise haha. The fifth book hasn’t been translated yet and I’m too impatient so I went ahead and started it in Japanese. I was just telling a pal how much comfier it is in the original language. I think I will reread the previous books in Japanese as well once I can get ahold of it from Kinokuniya. I’m so excited!

Another book I finished recently is Voices of the Dead by Ambrose Parry. It’s a historical fiction medical/crime novel set in Victorian Edinburgh. It also has hints of angsty romance between the two main characters, and if you know me at all, you know angst is my fuel, my reason for being lmao. But on top of the already very attractive premise, I must say the pervasive question of “am I what I come from or am I what I can become” throughout all the books is such a robust subject that I can never get enough of. I really enjoyed it! Ah, but now I’ve got to wait for the next book (if there is one). I’m pretty hopeful because the ending was set up for a continuation for sure, but you never know. Also, can I just complain about something extremely petty? Why is the fourth book’s spine different from the rest of the series? It’s from the same publisher, the same font is used. But why is the symbol not the same size as the other volumes’ symbols? WHY. Why would they make it not line up properly like that? I’m losing my mind!!

Now, I’m not one for redecorating just because it’s a new year, but I did change up my vinyl corner by switching out the old art with two posters in matching red—one from a Mitski concert way back in 2017, and one poster of Billie Marten’s 2023 album. Two very different eras of my life coming together. Quite poetic now that I think about it.

While on the subject of music, I’ve had Marika Hackman’s new album “Big Sigh” on repeat since it came out. Oh my god it’s so so good. I remember thinking when I first heard it, god, this is like having my guts pulled out of me. The lyrics are so raw I felt like my chest was going to cave in. Even the music conveys such angst and self-sabotage. The one song that struck me the most is the penultimate song called “Please Don’t Be So Kind.” That one really spoke to me. I love it so much I figured out the guitar chords by ear because I badly wanted to play it. (It’s just three chords in slightly different arrangements throughout the song: C/G-D/A-Em7/B. Half-step up tuning or more conveniently with capo on the 1st fret). I haven’t stopped thinking about the album and I don’t think I will ever stop doing so. I feel that my life is made richer by having listened to this body of work. Even though it’s rather depressing, I actually relish that about it. I think I’m at an age now where I can clearly see my emotion outside my body. It’s a place I can visit as I please. I can work through my feelings and then when I’ve done my best with it, I can leave it be. I can experience things as deeply as I want to while having the confidence that I won’t lose myself in it. It’s a very freeing sense of clarity.

Also, this is from a while back now but I got the newest volume of the coffee magazine I’m subscribed to and the coffee sampler they sent for the quarter is stellar. It tasted of peach and orange, it was insane. The sampler had enough for only two espresso double shots but it made such an impact I just have to note it down here. The roaster, A Matter of Concrete, is based in Rotterdam. I might have to pop in there to try more of their coffee one of these days. Oh, but this reminds me that my grinders are due for a cleaning. Right, I’ll have to do that sometime tomorrow. And I’m not looking forward to it because I’m always anxious I’ll fuck up the burrs or put the grinders back all wrong. Also, looking at this photo, I have to polish my espresso machine, don’t I? Oops.

What else have I been up to? I’ve recently reconnected with my best friend from my undergraduate days and it has been such a blessing. We didn’t have a fight or anything. We just drifted apart because I moved away for my MA and they went back home for a job offer. But they reached out to let me know they’ll be moving to Europe to start a second degree and a career change!! Which means we will be able to see each other again!! Oh, I’m looking forward to that so much I’m counting the days. I have such fond memories of them I can’t wait to bear hug the hell out of them haha.

I also finally decided to finish a writing project I have left alone to stew in its own unfinished mess for far too long lol. I forced myself to churn as much words as I could, and then the arduous task of negotiating what to keep, what to expand and what to cut came soon after. I’ve since finished it and I’m relieved to have concluded that story. I’m quite satisfied with the arc. It felt like a good study of how I write, what I want from a story and how I can achieve it. Writing is a process of self discovery and I’m always overwhelmed by that feeling when it’s happening in real time. Like you feel minute parts of yourself shifting into new positions, light shed in previously dark corners. It’s overwhelming and terrifying, yet tranquil and natural at the same time. I look forward to whatever I’ll find in the next writing project.

Anyway, I’m off to do a bit of translation work. It has been quite an eventful Friday for me over here, and my weekend is looking like it will be just as busy. How has your January been? I hope you’ve been taking good care of yourself. I leave you with a song by This Is The Kit called “Inside Outside.” It has a groovy bass line that I enjoy playing and straight up just vibing to. I recommend the album it's from if you’re in the market for something new to listen to.

That’s all for now. Until next time!

[starjxsung]

hi baby <333 i hope you had the absolute best time at the ateez concert!! i saw some clips on twt and i died, they looked soooo good😭

it’s been a really rough month in every sense tbh. i still haven’t heard back from the practicum but im not even bothering to write anymore. and we’re coping alright now with the doggy passing away but the first few days were really rough. i think we (but especially my bf and his fam) were clinging too much to her when she was clearly too sick </3 but all is well. thank you for the good wishes. i really appreciate them.

my bf literally stole his brother’s record player to play the ateez album for me so i vote for you to do it too😂

and about jisung, like, i literally said the same thing. i was just like “i’d have babies with any of them, they don’t even have to raise them”. (i dont plan on ever having kids either or particularly like those that aren’t part of my family) even my bf said it was understandable😂 the european air really did a number on them bc they looked so so so so good.

AND BTW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT JISUNG SUPPOSEDLY HAVING A CHEST TATTOO BC IM DYING. that is the single sexiest thing he could’ve done.

and i did hear about taemin’s tour and im so manifesting having money to be able to go😭😭😭😭 but idk if i’ll skip it to financially recover from skz (in general, they manage all my money. they’re doing a terrible job).

anyways, i love you so much bb i hope all is well. i can’t wait to hear about your ateez concerts. i’m so excited! (alsoooo lolla is in 2 weeks!!! and they have plant based options now, as a person who occasionally eats meat but doesn’t like the taste, i cheered). take care my love <3

-🐈‍⬛

hi baby !!!!!!!! Ahhhhh Ateez was insane 😭😭 there were so many sweet atinys around us and I got the cutest freebies <3 we tried to get merch beforehand but it was SO much more crowded this time around so a lot of it was sold out which was such a bummer ☹️ I did manage to get a Seonghwa picket but I’m gonna try to get there a little earlier for tomorrow’s show for a tshirt 🫶 fingers crossed they have them in stock this time ! I did feel super bad bc Seonghwa’s grandfather passed away the day before my show so he was crying during his ments and I just wanted to give him the biggest hug ☹️ I hope he’s doing a little better but I can’t imagine how hard it must be for him 💔 I just landed in LA a few hours ago so I’ll let you know how tomorrow’s show goes !!

Ugh I’m so sorry to hear that you still haven’t heard from your practicum 😞 I don’t even blame you for not reaching out anymore, I’d give up too. I just can’t believe how incompetent they’ve been throughout the whole process. And on top of all the stress with your bf’s dog, and just in the midst of such a busy time. I am so so sorry and I’ll keep manifesting that things start looking up soon 🫶 my sister actually didn’t end up coming to LA and she’s not going to Lolla after all bc she’s just too stressed about her internship and she doesn’t feel like she can fully enjoy anything right now. It really sucks to travel solo after all but I don’t blame her and I’m so frustrated for both of you. Sending you all my love and hoping they get back to you soon :(

PLSSSS the Jisung thing is so real 😭😭 ALSO YES I HEARD ABOUT THE TATTOO I genuinely couldn’t use my phone for a good hour after reading the news bc I was tweaking so hard LIKE RIGHTTT ON THE JITTIES™️ IS INSAAAAANE………. I saw a sketch of what its presumed to look like and I think it’s so sweet that he got it for his family 🥹 Jisung my beloved (he actually got my name tattooed it’s true)

Also manifesting Taemin US dates soooo hard 😔🤞 the first set of dates are all Asia which I’m not surprised about but I hope he comes back to LA at least !!

I love you so so much bby I can’t wait to tell you all about LA !!!! And then Lolla next oh my god it doesn’t feel real 😭 also I did NOT hear about the plant based options and as a vegetarian that’s like…. The next best thing after seeing Jisung in the flesh 💓❣️🙏

Ateez pics ofc also peep my little Ateez pajama shirt I bought for LA 👼🫶💓💓💓

[capow02]

hi hi hello hi I think you're my only sio mutual that's active anymore (': I looked up the welcome 2 elsewhere site because I just randomly remembered it earlier and honestly am I the only one who misses that era? like the bright and colorful aesthetic with the super trippy and horror visuals? the arg they put together? the dyed hair? like maaaan don't get me wrong I'm happy about the new era but elsewhere was taken from us too soon </3 maybe I need to make more art of it lol

Hi!! I'm so glad you sent this ask because I love the elsewhere era so much, I could genuinely talk about it for hours. So here, have this extremely long essay about my experience.

I discovered set it off in early 2021, so the elsewhere era was the first full album cycle I experienced. And my god it was perfect! I was on holiday when the website went up along with the teaser for skeleton, and I remember so clearly trying to figure out all the puzzles before retreating alone back to our hotel room to figure out minesweeper. The feeling of excitement as the discord was going crazy trying to figure everything out was unmatched!

And then skeleton came out, and I was genuinely obsessed. I had just moved into an awful shared house for my second year at uni, so I drowned all my sorrows by putting the song on repeat, drawing the band almost constantly and of course, making the lyric video that would start my channel! The hype was so massive, the dyed hair was iconic, I genuinely lived and breathed the multicoloured aesthetic. I bought every single merch thing I could (my room decor and t shirts still reflect this.) I got a switch that year, and immediately named my island elsewhere.

Every time the website changed, the excitement was so palpable that I dropped everything I was doing when it happened. Of course I had projector and who's in control on loop when they came out, and while I didn't like them as much as skeleton, they built so much hype for the album it was unreal. I even attended an online concert a couple months before the album came out, and it took place so late at night that I went to sleep at 5am while having to get up at 8. I was that committed.

And remember the teasers they posted to instagram and twitter? The ones they posted at 5pm every wednesday and sunday, where unscrambling the code revealed the next song title, the ones I based my elsewhere lyric videos off? I actually set an alarm on my phone so I could catch these as soon as they appeared, I was that desperate to know the next title! And of course the discord went crazy each time, the energy was unmatched. And when the album actually came out, oh my god. It was on loop for over 6 months. I thought taste of the good life was a gift from god, the amount of times I listened to it.

The hype continued throughout 2022, as demos kept coming out through the fanclub (which I paid full money for, getting one of my favourite ever hoodies in the process) and each demo seemed to be better than the next. I still have no idea how the truth about lying was cut from elsewhere and playing with bad luck stayed.

Also, I was so excited for my first ever sio concert that november. And the day 100% lived up to the expectations! I gave the boys some stickers in vip which they loved, and even got a hug from zach after explaining an obscure talk it off reference on one of his stickers. I made some great friends in line, even though I got seated tickets so I had to be separated from them, but I did still get great seats. And the concert itself!! I'm so glad I can say I've seen third wheel live, even if it was in the medley. And I still remember the pure joy I felt when I waved at cody and he waved back at me during uncontainable.

By the start of 2023 and all the "scandals" and stuff started happening, along with their slow retreat off of all social media, I could tell the era was gradually ending and I was really sad. It fully sunk in when they stopped dying their hair, and I was devastated, I almost forgot what they looked like with natural hair. Although I will say I probably got more closure on the era than you guys in america, because I actually made it to one of the end of elsewhere shows here in the uk.

I have to say, that was probably the best night of my life. I paid full price for the vip this time, so I got to actually hang around and talk to them before the show. I also got standing tickets, and managed to get barrier, which was so close to the stage I could've reached out and touched cody countless times. It was wild, and I enjoyed every second. Of course, 4 days later punching bag released, marking the proper end of elsewhere. (And they haven't toured the uk since.)

I miss this era so goddamn much. I have so much nostalgia for it, even though its barely been a year since it ended, and I really wish the current era's branding was as strong. I always felt so close to the band during elsewhere, with all the talk it off episodes and them noticing me on social media. The sense of community was strong, and I miss it a lot now they've stopped posting anything. Idk, I might be biased because it was my first time experiencing a full era.

Anyway, if you actually read all that, thanks! I really needed a good reminisce. And yes, you should make more art of elsewhere! The visuals were unmatched, especially in the music videos 💜💜

[staywithmesana]

First Thailand trip. First out of the country trip with just friends. First Twice concert.

It was surreal. It was epic.

As of this writing, both weekends with Twice are already over and I'm struggling to express my feelings.

There has to be a name to capture this jumble of feelings, right? Cause it has been swirling around me virtually every minute of the last few days as I reflect on my experiences with Twice and gently re-enter the real world.

════════════════════════════════════════════

THE DECISION.

When I first discovered more about Twice, it was a pandemic. "More" since I previously knew them through my great friend Pat, but I never had the opportunity to listen to their music.

It was during More and More when I first saw Sana, and gosh, I know I'm going to love her for the rest of my life. It was as if I had been transported elsewhere, and I craved more of her. I was smitten by her eyes, her tone, and everything about her, especially her orange hair.

I knew I'd do everything to see and hear her and Twice sing live, and I finally got what I'd been hoping for the last four years when I watched the girl herself perform at Impact Arena.

The Ready to Be tour was announced in February, and I was both excited and nervous about whether the Philippines would be included, as they had only announced Part I at the time. Until they announced a few months later that our country will be included in the trip!

I think it was around that time that Hannah introduced me to Rina, and we all agreed that we’d buy VIP tickets. But of course, not everything will go according to plan.

We were only able to obtain Lower Box tickets for both days in the Philippines, which was devastating because we were unable to secure our preferred seats. All the plans for banners and signs that we would show Twice went down the drain. It was then that they decided to plan a trip to Thailand to see Twice. I'm not going to lie; at first, I was skeptical. I was unsure whether my savings were enough, and I am anxious about staying days out of the country with just friends (I’m blaming my introvertness!).

A couple of thoughts came to my mind:

What will happen during our trip? Will I fit in well? Will I be awkward? What if I mess up? What if they don't like me?

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But there's just this excitement in my heart that urges me to try new things. I want to try to go to a place where my soul can grow, a place where I can get out of my comfort zone and explore different aspects of myself.

So I said, “Fuck it, I want to see Sana up close!”

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The Thailand Ready to Be in Thailand concert ticket sales arrived, and we were worried because this would be our last chance to see them in the VIP section. In comparison to the Philippines, the Thailand website was smooth and simple to use! Just a quick note to self, use a card that is accepted in Bangkok.

A couple of hiccups later, we finally got the tickets!

Relief and delight washed over me as the reality of going to another country to see Sana dawned on me.

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I felt slightly melancholy. Another wave of anxiety washed over me as I methodically planned the next trip, thinking that my sister is not going to be with me.

But I know what I want and what makes me happy. And I know that if I prioritize staying in my comfort zone, I would regret not going for the rest of my life. And I don’t want to do that to me.

Deep down inside I know that I am excited, I’m just scared that I will go there, and my head will be full of “Oh God, when is this going to be over?”

Fortunately for me, the friends I went with are the best (I'll dedicate a special section to them later).

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THAILAND & FRIENDS.

We booked tickets with Cebu Pacific Airlines, which added to our worries because the airline is notorious for canceling flights, and we won't know what to do if that happens.

And I believe that as soon as we got to the airport, all the luck showered on us, because there were no problems after that.

There were no flight delays. We had no problems with our luggage. Everyone went through immigration without incident. Everything was fine.

I was so happy.

Two extroverts and two introverts were, in my opinion, the ideal trip companions.

There was enough humor to make it extremely enjoyable and I wasn't compelled to interact all of the time because everyone respected everyone's peace and pace.

The first two people on this list were folks with whom I had never previously interacted. They are the people I have been anxious to meet, and I'm relieved that my concerns were unfounded.

Lee would fill in the gaps whenever there was dead air, loves to joke around, and loves to take great photographs, taking his fill on adventures as it was his first time out of the country. It was fun since he was there, and I had a fantastic time laughing at his shenanigans.

Rina was also an extrovert (though she insists she isn't), and I swear every time we turned around, she had made new friends (particularly at the concert hall). We instantly discussed Blackpink and Twice because we both adore both groups. Because of her it was never a dull moment. My co-water warrior, I appreciate all of our conversations and how you always include me in them. I’m glad that I got to know you!

Finally, Hannah, the mother of the group, HAHAHAHA! She truly took care of us all, from the time we booked our concert tickets, booked our airline tickets to our Airbnb accommodations and navigated our way around Thailand. She was the only one I knew from the group; but we had only gotten out twice before going to Thailand. Without her, I doubt we would have had a pleasant experience. I really enjoyed how she bargained with the locals ("There they said it's only 10 baht" iykyk) HAHAHA! We received discounts, but she purchased bracelets that were at least 20 times more expensive. Budol is real. Thank you for your assurance that everything will be well, and you are right that I did enjoy the trip! Thank you for inviting me to join you on this trip! This is an experience I will remember for the rest of my life.

Thailand has amazing food, and I have great friends, what more could you ask for, right?

I was able to have this out-of-body and amazing experience of witnessing Twice up close because of you three! And of course, visit one of the most tourist-friendly countries, Thailand. I will surely return!

I’m glad that I trusted my instincts, and that is to trust you! So many great things happened, and I would have completely missed out on all of these things had I not gone. And I’m not so sure that these things would have happened in the same way had I not been with you three.

We went anywhere we wanted. We did anything we wanted. We ate anything we wanted.

Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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TWICE.

September seemed a lifetime away when we got our tickets, but it finally arrived, and on September 24th, Hannah, Rina, and I made our way to Impact Arena with our concert gear (aka our lightsticks and our hearts full of love for Twice).

We arrived early because we were used to huge queues and expected delays and mishaps.

But surprise, surprise! We finished everything in 15 minutes. From claiming the physical tickets, buying official merch to buying our lunch for the day!

We even had time to line up for the photo wall.

And of course, we would not miss the chance to kneel before Sana! :D

We lined up the queue, and since my number was 1111, we were praying hard that we could get a good spot. So, by the time we got to the gate, we were running like hell to our chosen section, and we managed to reach at least four rows after the barricade!

Remember the screenshot earlier? About our desired spot? We managed to get there. Yay!

At this point, I was getting fatigued but yet enthusiastic because the soundcheck was about to begin. My feet and legs were aching, but my heart was overjoyed.

A couple of folks were telling Rina about their Twice concert experiences. Others had the opportunity to see the girls from years ago, while some had the opportunity to attend the day before us. And as I listened to their stories, I became more excited about what was to follow. Along with the hope that Sana is feeling better, and that we get to interact with them even if it’s just a few seconds.

Soundcheck began about a minute or two after 3 p.m. And my heart was racing so hard! They're finally in front of me after a long time of anticipating seeing Twice!

At the same time, the entire VIP area went berserk, and they began to push their way to the front to have a closer look of the girls and to engage with them.

I tried to take a quick shot of them, but I was immediately stopped by the guards, and when I witnessed individuals being escorted out of the stadium, I became terrified and decided not to risk being tossed out. It was a mess, really. Someone even lost their footwear!

(credits to Rina for this screenshot):

As soon as I saw a glimpse of Sana’s beautiful wavy hair and pretty face, I forgot the pain in my legs! She really is beautiful!

But since I spent a scary amount of time watching her videos, I noticed that something's wrong. She’s not like her usual self, and mostly stayed at the left side of the stage (we were standing at the right side). Even her eyes are not glowing like before. We started to get worried because we know that their schedule is no joke, and she might be really tired at this point.

If you hadn't already guessed, yes, I am a Sana-biased fan.

So seeing that my bias was not in the mood is worrying, but I can see that she did her best, and still interacted with fans.

The soundcheck lasted around ten minutes and consisted of only three songs; by the time it was over, we were already closer to the stage due to the pushing. So, while it was frightening, it was also a blessing in disguise.

Maybe you’re wondering about my first impression with Twice members, I’ll get into that later.

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THE CONCERT.

The VCR changed without warning. Ignoring the discomfort in my legs, my excitement shot through the roof as I realized the moment I had been waiting for had arrived. The time has come for me to see and hear Twice live for the first time with their full costume.

“I’m about to hear the group that I have enjoyed listening to for years.” I thought to myself.

I loved the way they were unveiled to the stage, and then the screen showed them all lined up, looking all serious and ready to rock my world. The feeling of adrenaline and happiness rushed within me as they walked and line up for their Set Me Free performance.

Instantly felt myself sweating from the time they finished their first song, maybe because: 1. The spotlights were really intense, and 2. TWICE PERFORMANCE WERE SO HOT!

The screen showed a very lovely Kim Dahyun starting the routine, and my mind flashed back to the first time I saw her. She was truly wacky and one-of-a-kind, and I never imagined (though I really hoped) that I would watch them one day, let alone in another country.

I remembered the girl beside me trying to help me capture moments, since my hands were already hurting due to fatigue, and the people in front of me were really tall. I know that this will never reach her, but I just want to say thank you.

I Can’t Stop Me was next. I’m still in a daze, but I couldn’t help but sing along with Nayeon’s “Allami ullyeodae ring, ring-a-linga” and as soon as the pre-chorus started with Sana’s heavenly vocals singing, “Maeumsogeuroneun da algo itjanha, gyeolgugeneun seoneul neomge doel georaneun geol”, I lost it. As much as I hate to admit it, I really loved Sana’s moves during that part, and I spent an insane amount of time watching fancams and dance videos of ICSM because of that part.

And just like that, they finished their first two songs and started with their first ment. The crowd was screaming as soon as they introduced themselves.

I was just standing there, thinking to myself, “Woah, they are real people. I just saw them perform, and I’m not dreaming at all.”

The lights changed and Jeongyeon’s voice echoed throughout the whole arena, as she sang the first lines of “Go Hard”. And I know that it will be hot, and of course the red lights are not helping at all. They were in perfect sync, and you can’t help but think about how much time they spent perfecting the choreography.

This was followed by More and More, which showed a dreamy image of them sitting on ladders while performing choreography. They walked towards the extended stage halfway through the song, and seeing how hard they danced to it, followed by Moonlight Sunrise and Brave felt surreal.

It was as though they were completely different individuals on stage than their regular effervescent personas.

And then finally, Dahyun, Tzuyu, Sana, Momo and Mina exited the stage, while Chaeyoung, Jihyo, Jeongyeon and Nayeon stayed to talk to us a bit more as the first group of solo performers prepared for their stages.

I won’t go into detail about all of the performances, but I will tell you what I felt the first time that I saw the girls.

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS.

Im Nayeon.

I must admit that I understand where her confidence comes from when she confidently declares that she is the most beautiful, because she truly is pretty. And the way she hits those high notes, is like a blessing to our ears. Unfortunately I was unable to take as many videos and photos of her because I was distracted by my bias the whole time.

Yoo Jeongyeon.

I WAS STUNNED. She has such a little and lovely face that all you can do is stare at her. But her voice, oh God, her voice is so powerful that I couldn't help but regret not joining the fandom earlier and missing the opportunity to hear her perform One in a Million live. 

Hirai Momo.

Dance God with barbie-like features. She was always smiling and waving at our side of the stage, and I saw how cute she interacts with fans. Momo has a captivating stage presence and appears to be in her own universe while she performs. This is due to her intense focus on her performance in her aim to provide her audience with the best spectacle possible.

Park Jihyo.

She is a force to be reckoned with. Her high precision dance maneuvers electrify the audience, and she sings with the passion of a firebird. Her high notes are like pearls, each one more valuable than the last . She is unquestionably the best leader Twice can ask for.

Myoi Mina

On stage, she is a queen, her presence imposing and her aura irresistible. When she exits the stage, she returns to her modest self, kind and unassuming to the point where she was surprised that people screamed her name so much because of her sensual performance. Her facial features are delicate and ethereal that you can look at her all day long.

Kim Dahyun.

Her performance of "Try" is a work of art, a beautiful blend of power and emotion. Her smile is like a ray of sunshine, filling the room with warmth. Above all, she embodies quirkiness, with her half-moon eyes that twinkle like stars in the night sky. They crinkle at the corners as she grins, like crescent moons reflecting her warmth, kindness, and playful spirit..

Son Chaeyoung

She walks confidently onto the stage, her dimples flashing like two crescent moons, adding touch to the whimsy of her beauty. Her vocals are sometimes overlooked, yet she has a distinct and expressive voice that complements her song "My Guitar" well. She reminds me of a chameleon, always altering her style and look while being true to herself. Her raps were like fire, igniting the passion of her fans.

Chou Tzuyu

When she threw water at us, it felt like we were blessed. It is true that when you look at her beauty, you couldn’t help but stare and wonder if the one in front of you is a real person or a goddess. A celestial beauty descended from the heavens. Her beauty combined with humility and kindness is a true gift to the world. We really need more Tzuyus in the world. She may be the youngest, but her exquisite movements can make anyone melt.

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MINATOZAKI SANA.

I always get asked, “Who is your ultimate bias?”

And I always dodge the question, because how can I even choose?

But after seeing her perform for three days, I now have an answer. Minatozaki Sana.

Vocals. Visual. Dancer. Writer. Performer. Minatozaki Sana is all of these things. She is also the love of my life. There was no way I could begin or end my day without listening to her voice or raving over her beauty. As the three of us (Rina, Hannah, and I) discussed, we would rather feel down than see her sad. She is the embodiment of joy. If I could, I would formally thank her for her excellent timing, since every time I felt low and couldn't take another step, she would always post something or send a note in Bubble. I'm sure many people don't realize it, but Sana is a lifeboat for me on a rainy day at the ocean.

What was it like seeing her perform live?

It was like stepping into a fairy tale.

She was everything that I imagined and more. Her beauty is breathtaking, her talent is undeniable, and her aura is enticing. It felt like I was in the presence of royalty, and I knew it was a moment I would remember for the rest of my life.

The experience of filming "New Rules" was surreal. I was so used to watching her on the screen of my phone that when I did it, I couldn't believe I had the opportunity to film her personally.

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ENDING.

It was all over in a blink of an eye, and I wish we had more time to watch the girls perform, but I guess that’s just an excuse to book another VIP experience in the future, right? Unless I hit the jackpot and sponsor one of their albums in the future and get the chance to meet them up close and personal before then...

If you see this blog, it means that you also know how much I love Sana and Dahyun and their dynamic. And you also probably know how they saw our banner, and Dahyun ‘tried’ to piggyback Sana.

It was just one other thing that happened before the concert ended, but I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of talking about this moment. I know that my friends and family are sick of it already, but when you’ve supported an artist with your whole heart, no feeling will ever come close to the one created when you see them live and when they notice you.

No words will ever do this experience justice.

The moment that I saw Dahyun notice the banner that Hannah was holding, my heart pounded like crazy, since it was apparent that she looked around to check if Sana was near. Then, a couple of seconds later, we saw her pull Sana closer to our side, and then they did as we asked! She leaned down, and Sana tried to piggyback on her.

It was only a split second because Sana was wearing a skirt, and Dahyun, being the greenest flag of all, stopped immediately and held on to Sana’s skirt to protect her.

What's funny was due to us gaypanicking, Hannah and I were unable to get a good shot about what we experienced.

After that moment, Dahyun even did a thumbs up sign, as if asking if we were satisfied with what they did. Truly the queen of fanservice.

Everything about the experience was special. It’s moments like this that help you forget all about the things that are bothering you, the things that are weighing you down, and even if it only lasts for an hour, or even just a second, I felt happiness.

It was short and sweet but definitely a moment that I’ll remember forever and one I feel very lucky to have had.

[lenighorl]

I Missed You, George!

A Joji fanfic because there’s not a lot on tumblr, it makes me sad.

Here I am celebrating the release of Joji’s New Album.

Themes: Smut ; LDR ; Break Up ; 18+

—————-

This is how our relationship ended.

“This is not working anymore. I’m sorry, Y/N. This is too much for me.” He said, hurtful yet filled with sorrow.

His thumb gently touching my arm as if to comfort me with this news. Shocked is one way to put it. I tried my best not to let my jaw hang along with the tears that started to stream down my face. It was so sudden. I was so confused. We were doing so good but ever since i shared my thoughts about wanting to go back to my home country, he seemed so bothered by it although he did try to hide it. But it was just a thought, I definitely would push that thought aside if he asked me to.

“Why are you being like this? Did I do something wrong? Am I not enough?”

“Of course, you’re enough! But I just can’t right now.”

Feeling my eyes burn from this, I pushed his hand away from my arms lightly and immediately wiped my tears away.

“Y-yeah, no, you wouldn’t even tell me why? I-I don’t deserve this, George.” I stood up and left his apartment.

Few messages were sent asking how I was, after answering coldly a few times, the messages eventually stopped coming in.

I figured, of course, he’s this world renowned musician, he had probably moved on. Besides, with his status, he could easily get whoever he wanted. I don’t even know how he liked me in the beginning. Im not the model type. I look like an average girl. I am an average girl. I am a nobody. Why did he make me feel this way only to break up with me without an explanation? My body is far from perfect but the way he touched and kissed and looked at me felt like I was the most beautiful thing in the world. But I guess, I was just a chapter in his life, and he was ready to turn to the next page.

————— one year and three months pass

“—the Japanese-Australian singer, Joji is finally coming here this coming Monday for his much awaited concert! Oh, I’m so excited for this!” says the local celebrity news caster on the tv.

I gasped. Joji knew where my home country was. We’ve talked so much about my culture and my family and he knew how much I missed them when I was in the US. The concert’s in a few days and although I have no intention of watching, I did think about how it would be like to be with him again. To touch him and kiss him. To cuddle and smell him again.

I miss you so much, George. You have no idea.

I miss you so much that it tears me up every time I would think about the pretty moments we shared. I remember everything. Even sitting on your lap and helping you shave, taking hot baths together when you’d come home to me tired from making music. Making you try a new recipe i made and you loving every dish because you’re such a foodie. Coming home and immediately laying almost on top of me in the couch, resting your chin on my chest, looking up at me with a pout and me kissing the pout away. I just wanna lay right by your side again, Joj.

*ding*

I checked my phone as I escape my thoughts of Joji. And— wait! Oh my God! No way!

Hey, Y/N! I heard you’re in (Y/country), come say hi to an old friend. I miss you.

A whole 15 minutes go by just thinking of a cool way to answer this. Of course, there’s nothing else I want in this world but to see you again, Joji but I must be cool and not look like a complete idiot puppy.

We set up the specifics and decided to meet at the hotel he’s staying at for dinner. The dinner will be served inside his hotel room to avoid getting seen by other people. He can’t have bad press or rumors now, he says. It made me sad but I know how fragile his mental health gets and I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I had no right to.

—————

The pressure of choosing what to wear and how to present myself after over a year of not seeing Joji is intense. I put on a comfortable A-line dress, Sandals and some light make up. I don’t wanna seem like I put too much effort. Besides, things are over between us, right?

—————

1702. I knocked at his hotel room door and it didn’t take long until he opened the door. As the door opens, I put on a smile to maybe mask the nervousness I feel inside.

“Hey, Y/N!” He immediately envelops me in a tight hug, pulling me up slightly. I missed your scent, my georgie.

“I missed you too, Y/N. Even if you don’t want to say it.” Joji says smiling at me. He looked happy. It broke me a little seeing his smile because it’s probably not because of me.

“I missed you, Georgie!” I said passing him the bottle of wine I brought with me.

“Oooh, wine! You’re a changed woman now, Y/N. This used to be a bottle of tequila and cheap weed.”

I laughed as I sat in his bed.

“I love your new music, Joj. I’m so proud of you.” I stood up connecting my phone to the Bose Bluetooth Speaker in front of the TV.

I played “Ew” off of his new album.

“This is my personal favorite.” I look back at him, he nods as he sits on the end of the bed. He looked different, his face more serious.

Ooh, teach me to love just to let me go..

I sit beside Joji.

“How have you been, y/n?”

I froze a little seeing how serious he was and just like how I deal with stressful circumstances, I decide to act playful.

“Miserable without you!” I laughed slightly punching his shoulder. Well, this is awkward. But Joji, It was the truth.

While looking at the floor, a smile creeps up his face and says “Same.” He looks at me straight in the eyes, i avoided his stare and looked at the floor. My smile almost disappearing.

“Wanna order some food?” I said,

“What I want is to kiss you, Y/N.”

I feel my cheeks start to burn as I look back at him. Are we in a movie? I’m pretty sure this happens only in movies. Yes, George. I want to kiss you. I want more than just to kiss you.

I met his eyes and seeing his face look so tired and sad and lonely all of a sudden, I leaned in and kissed him.

Joji’s kisses were always deep, there’s a pull to them. Hard but gentle. Sensual and sweet. The kiss was slow. I held his face and his hands were on my waists.

He starts to go down on my neck. He felt so hungry. And like before, he didn’t care about what people would say if he marks his territory. His hands slipped inside my dress and he’s groping my thighs. My hands entangled in his hair. He gives a low groan as he pulls me to sit on his lap.

Oh, how I’ve missed this.

As Im Starting to feel myself well up and I feel George’s hands start to pull on my dress, I let him take it off of me. This leaves me in my bra and underwear. I stood up, and took his hands to motion him to stand too. I undressed him. And I kiss him again as I trace all of my favorite tattoos on him. I push him lightly to sit on the bed and knelt down in front of him.

I felt the hunger. This is really happening.

I stroked his hard member slowly and looked up at him. He’s looking down at me with those sleepy looking eyes. He grabbed my hair and pushed me on his throbbing cock.

I sucked on his cock like it was the end of the world. Between his moans and groans, i feel his hips move up and his hand on my head push me down until I could no longer handle his length. Seeing his legs twitch a little, I stopped.

I stood up. His eyes following my every movement. I looked at him too, just wanting him inside me. I took off my bra, took his hands and made him pull my panties down. I straddled him, kissing his lips and neck. Gently biting his ear when he’s busy with my breasts, feeling the tip of his hard cock poking my belly button.

“I’m so fucking wet, Joji.”

“Mmhm..” He says.

“I want you inside me, now.”

He stops licking and kissing my breasts and flips me on the bed until he’s on top of me.

“I missed you so much, baby.” he says as he trails kisses on my body. I let out a moan as his tongue reaches my clit. I grabbed the sheet with my left hand and put my hand on his head while he eats me.

“Oh fuck, you’re so good, baby!” I let out as i am running out of breath. My hips rotate along with his tongue on my clit. Pushing his head down as if there were still space to fill. He fingers me as he continuously ears me. He growls at my wetness. I moan louder and breathe heavier. I start to reach my climax, shaking as he licks me. He suddenly stops and that made me open my eyes and say “What the fuck, bitch?” He laughs. I notice his mouth and nose glistening from my wetness. He bends down and kisses me.

I break the kiss to say, “Please, Joji. Put your dick in me!” I plead.

“Yes, your majesty.” He chuckles then positions his dick at my entrance. He looks at me and kisses me as he enters me. I moan in between the kisses as he plays with my nipples with his fingers. He growls as his pace quickens.

“Yes, baby!” I let out. He grabs my arm and makes me turn around and be on my knees. My upper body and face on the sheets. Moans and groans fill the air. His grip on my hips are hard, the type where it might leave a bruise after but it’s fine because his dick was divine. It was worth the wait.

He grabs both of my arms as he fucks me senseless. I am now kneeling but my body is against his. I hear his growls. “Fuck, Y/N.” His pace starts to get sloppy. I moan out of pure satisfaction. “I’m so close, baby.” And As i said that, i started shaking. My hand on his nape as he palms by breast. As I moan, he starts groaning and with this I felt his hot cum shoot up inside me and start to drip down my inner thighs.

I turn around, we’re both out of breath. I give him a peck on the lips. His hands on my butt.

“I still love you, Joji.” I said breathlessly.

He didn’t reply. He looked at me deeply, but sad. I figured, Maybe he really doesn’t want me the way I wanted him. Saddened, I got up and cleaned myself in the bathroom. I came out and I see him laying under the sheets and just before I grab the first item of clothing, he says,

“Come here, Y/N.”

I went to the bed and hugged him. I rested my head on his chest.

“I’m sorry I broke up with you. Its just that when you said you wanted to go back home, I didn’t want to be the reason for you to stay. I know how much it killed you being away from your family.”

So that was the reason.

“But you were my family too, Joji. Still is. And maybe, you’re right. I would’ve stayed there with you but at least I wouldn’t suffer losing you.” I look at Joji with tears in my eyes.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you more, George.”

“Can we try again?

I laugh at his words. He wipes my tears away. I kiss him again.

“As long as you give me tickets to your show tomorrow.” I giggle.

“Fuck you!” He says in between his laughter as he gets up and lights a cigarette.

——————

Hope you like my first fic!

Ps. I used “Ew” for the storyline, alright?

Feel free to let me know about your thoughts.

❤️

[thegroundsofbrooklyn]

I MISSED YOU TOO TUMBLR IS AGAINST ME IT KEEPS EATING MY ASKS THOUGH IT SAID THEY SENT

OKAY SO THE PEOPLE FROM YOUR CORNER OF THE WORLD ONE DIRECTION I love Louis tomlinson so much. I loved him in 1d and loce him now. We had lots of pride stuff at our shows because well do you know the story of Larry stylinson? -Louis probably isn't straight (I mean being in love with your male best friend would suggest) but he has never specifically said what he is also he's so support of his LGBT fans and we love and support him so so much. He's so sweet and his music is great and real and he writes about sad things too!

soooooo I drove 3 hours to Ohio to see him on Thursday after work. I almost got heat exhaustion so hot. They did not have plain water for sale at like 80%of the vendors it was just beer and cocktails (yuck and also NOT HELPFUL IN 90 DEGREE HEAT), got upgraded for free Cuz they had empty seats closer (oh my fucking gosh I almost died of excitement l) IT WAS AMAZING HE WAS GREAT. I then proceeded to drive back and go to work on literally an hour or 2 of sleep and since the pandemic no where's open late anymore so I didn't eat for a day and a half opps.

I went to his Detroit show yesterday and it was lit. He literally said we were fucking unbelieveable a minimum of 4 times and thanked us and called Ohio then michigan(both of which I was at) the best shows his entire tour. I just wanted to hug him like a bazillion times.

#one directioner forever sorry to ramble about my lifelong love for 5 boys from the UK. I just love things veryyyyyyy intensely. Maybe not the normal amount but hey

The staff wouldnt let us get streamers from off the ground :( I know that's probably an odd thing to want what can I say it's a memory. Although I didnt basically sleep for 3 days it was so amazing and completely worth it. I wish I could live it a million times over. Everyone was happy, and Louis was happy:) I am not social, but the atmosphere of concerts and to a different degree professional theater is just something else. We're all there for one thing, and it's so Beautiful. It's one of those times that for me personally my depression anxiety and borderline are far from my mind. I feel euphoric on top of the world and being happy is very nice. Being happy with others; seeing two friends dance or shout words to each other or smile it makes you happy too. Even when I don't know them. So I guess I am social in liking to be around people but just not good at speaking to them.

I also lost my car in a field because they have no signage and in a sea of cars where the fuck did I park. Who knows I wandered for 20 minutes until I finally stumbled upon it. I can't even imagine those people who drink then look for cars like my human you bad decisioned.

My most unfavorite part of concerts is just getting out of the traffic jam afterword. I've learned to get to your car and sit there until there is no line of cars waiting and you're golden. (That usually takes a while bit is worth the headache and wasted gas. )

THAT IS SUPER EXCITING!! I wish you were going next month, lol. I hope you have the most fun!!!! Ahhhh boo tests BUT YAY CONCLUSION!!! That means in a few weeks I can annoy you with all the newsies thoughts xD

I WILL SEND MY FIC IDEA IN A DIFFERENT ASK BECAUSE IM SORRY THIS IS LONG. I kind of apologize for that but you did say tell you all the shenanigans xD

oh my god that sounds incredible and also so chaotic 😭 six year old me had the BIGGEST crush on all of one direction smdmdj i'm so happy you had a great time anon :))

i am going to west endsies next month, but only closing night because i'm away in the usa for about the first half of it anyway ... but i can always buy more tickets ...... 👀

[inkofamethyst]

May 13, 2023

Highkey stressed about my cell bio grade.  I mean, I know, grades don’t matter, grades don’t determine my worth, I’m already in my dream program, etc etc etc.  It’s jus that the grading scheme is so terribly opaque that I honestly have no idea what to expect from that class when grades are finalized.  I’ve learned a ton in cell bio this sem but disliked the way the class was run from the start.  Just really unsatisfying, uninspiring.  I mean I know that even if I got a B, it wouldn’t matter in a year, ultimately, but right now?? it would feel like I got ji-- oh my god, wait.  That word is based on a slur, isn’t it? and spelled with a “g-y-” and not a “j-i-”... I’ve never put that together before!  Well.  If I got a B after having a literal 99% average across the three exams, I might end up on national news.  It’d be my villain origin story during my three-month summer villain arc.  I’d decry higher education.  I would never donate to this school ever.  Should I become famous, I’d sully this school’s name and place all of the credit to my success in my graduate school’s hands.

And speaking of grad school, somehow I’m going to have to cope with the fact that not only will I be unable to do-it-all in grad school, but I’ll probably have to do-even-less.  I simply will not be able to join all the clubs and things I’d like.  These past two years, I feel like I’ve settled into a good rhythm: performing arts org, service org, culture org.  I don’t even know if I’ll have time for just those three categories.  I’m excited about the move but certainly nervous about everything else.

Actually, the nerves have really begun setting in over just the last few days.  I’ve been feeling as though I’m not really cut out for this?  There’s the fear of “well what if I can’t make the cut?” and “what if I decide that it’s not for me?” and “do I actually deserve this?” because even though a PhD is not really a path I’m pursuing to make others proud, I feel as though a lot of my family’s pride is wrapped up in not only what I’m doing but where I’m going to do it.  There’s a fear of the unknown there, you know?  I cannot easily see what comes next.  I am not stepping out of my comfort zone.  I am leaping several yards away from my comfort zone.

I tell people that I’m excited because I am.  But I’m also a little scared.  I am afraid that I’m not ready.  I suppose I should take comfort in the fact that so many people seem to disagree with that.

Today I’m thankful that I managed to finish braiding my hair on time and that it looks really really nice.  Also lowkey thankful that we didn’t end up going out that very night because after finishing my hair I had a 36-hour headache from it which made me super cranky (but my parts are clean and my grip was superb).

Concerts tomorrow.  Honestly?  Excited, but ready for them to be over.

[amberswilddreams]

byrne squared (part two to so much blood)🫶

pairing : nicky byrne x fem!reader

summary : a couple of months after her miscarriage, it was found out that alessandra byrne, nicky byrne's wife, was pregnant again and was finally able to give her husband nicky the one thing he's always wanted

warnings : fluff, mentions of miscarriage, infertility, hospital, happy tears, pregnancy, happy ending

a/n : praise the lord, this is an original one-shot that has not been reused and recycled thank god. i already knew i wanted to do part two of "so much blood" so i am so glad i got to. this will be a lot happier than the first part but the miscarriage will be talked about in an italicised flashback by an instagram post posted by alessandra even though it didn't exist in 2007, when nicky's twins, rocco and jay were born, pretend it did. and like part one, this will be in lowercase. enjoy my lovely dovelies.

liked by nickybyrneinsta, caileano, markusmoments, stormykeating, jodialbert and 9k others

alessandrabyrne all my life, i knew i wanted to be a mother and that my husband wanted to be a father. so, we started trying but no matter how hard we tried, we always had a negative result leaving us heartbroken. thinking we were doing something wrong, wondering constantly why we were never getting pregnant. and then, out of sheer desperation, we stopped actively trying to get pregnant and one day, finally, after what felt like we had been trying forever, the one time we weren't actively trying, there was a positive pregnancy test. and we were so excited, even though we still grieved over the losses of all the negatives, we were just glad that i could actually get pregnant to give nicky and me our first ever baby and it was all truly going to plan and both baby and me were healthy as could be. that was until, at five months, heartbreaking, during a westlife concert during their number one's tour, i miscarried at the london o2 show and lost what would have been me and nicky's little baby girl. no one can prepare you for losing a baby but also a baby that was the only positive after so many negatives just breaks you even more. i wish i could explain how disgusted i felt in knowing that i couldn't even give my husband and i the singular thing that we had both wanted our entire lives. for ages, i hated myself because my body couldn't do the one thing it was supposed to do. and for so long, all i could do was apologise to nicky because he didn't deserve to lose his baby. he didn't deserve to have his wife miscarrying what was going to be his beautiful baby girl. nicky, babe, even though i've constantly been saying it, i don't think i'll ever be able to stop saying it until i am able to give you our gorgeous baby girl so, again, i am so, so incredibly sorry that i couldn't give you what you so desperately want in your life. i am so sorry i can't give you your little princess or even a little prince but, in saying that, i'll never give up, i won't stop trying until i can give us our little princess or little prince!

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nickybyrneinsta oh aless, you don't need to apologise! it's not your fault babe! you need to stop apologising!

alessandrabyrne nickybyrneinsta i love you nico. it was an honour to even carry baby byrne for those short five months and i hope next time i'll carry it all the way to term for us

caileano when are you going to stop apologising, alessandra? it's not your fault and it never will be. nicky is not mad at you and he never could be! 

alessandrabyrne caileano i love you cailean.

markusmoments as always, my heart breaks over this. but one day i promise you'll give you and nicky a beautiful baby, just don't stop trying alessandra

alessandrabyrne markusmoments so does mine, mark. and thank you, i haven't stopped trying as i am determined as hell to have this baby and hand it over to nico

stormykeating my heart aches over this! but it heals because of how courageous and strong you are to even talk about it when it's something that many women don't talk about! ro and i send all our love, hugs and kisses to you and nicky 

alessandrabyrne stormykeating thank you for the kind words stormy, i love you and ronan so much, your guys' support has been amazing!

jodialbert you are superwoman, alessandra! thank you for speaking up about this even though it's difficult, you'll help a lot of women out there by posting about this my darling

alessandrabyrne jodialbert oh stop it, jodi! but, thank you, i was at first hesitant but quickly realised that if i do talk about it, it'll be a lot more helpful than just ignoring it and not talking about it!

just as nicky byrne, alessandra byrne's husband predicted and maybe even manifested, two weeks after posting about the miscarriage of her and nicky's baby, alessandra found out that after she and nicky really stopped trying that she was once again pregnant with her and nicky's baby. and it was predicted that baby byrne was going to be due in june of 2007. however, for the safety and consolation of the byrne's, they didn't announce the pregnancy until their ireland show when nicky mentioned that, once again, he and alessandra were going to become pregnant and thanked his wife. and then after that, alessandra announced it with some photos of her through a series of pregnancy bumpdates to her blog with the sweetest caption. but that was until after nicky had announced it on stage so let's just say it was just happy news on top of happy news after what was such devastation for alessandra and nicky. 

ireland show

"---good evening ireland!" nicky announces after the band sings their 2003 record of the year hit, mandy as the crowd cheers

"this is westlife's the love tour! we are so excited to back on stage in front of all of you guys, umm, the love tour is here and we are here to celebrate westlife so, thank you guys so much and, i just have to say that...i'm about to become a father..." nicky pauses as the crowd screams and cheers 

"thank you... it's been a tough time since my wife, alessandra sadly miscarried late last year so, we're excited to announce that not only are we pregnant but we are pregnant with twins..." the crowd screams even more as he then hears his bandmates, kian, shane and mark cheer and applaud, making nicky laugh as well as alessandra and the rest of the wives and spouses who were watching from the barricades in front of the stage 

"...so, umm, that's some exciting news that i've kind of been getting really impatient about revealing..." nicky gets cut off by his bandmates' cheering again, making him laugh as he continues 

"...yeah, we wanted to keep this as secretive as we possibly could, alessandra and i and, we're just so excited to meet our babies!" nicky smiled tearfully as a shy chuckle left his mouth 

"umm, anyway, moving forward, this next song is if i let you go all the way back to the beginning of westlife--" nicky then continues as he introduces the next song after dedicating the song to alessandra 

alessandra couldn't help but tear up as she watched her husband get so excited to announce that this time, he was really going to become a father and that she was going to be a mother after thinking they weren't going to be able to be parents. 

then, she cried even more when nicky sang to her during his verse, ultimately thanking her, his wife, for making his one true wish finally come true. shane, kian and mark then interacted with her during the song and then after a couple more songs, it was a break in between quick changes and they got to give a quick set of hugs and kisses to alessandra and the two baby byrnes. 

*

by the time the concert finished, it seemed as though everyone on social media and alessandra's blog were talking about the fact that alessandra and nicky were becoming parents again after the miscarriage of their first one. now, all the fans were waiting for was actual confirmation by alessandra so, alessandra gave her fans and the westlife fans what they were waiting for and did confirm that she was pregnant with her and nicky's twins. 

liked by nickybyrneinsta, caileano, jodialbert, kianegan, markusmoments, shanefilanofficial, gillianfilansligo, rokeating and 9k others

alessandrabyrne it's with the greatest plasure and privilege to announce that the rumours are true that i am indeed pregnant with nicky and i's twins. it was as though my husband had either manifested it or just knew that a few months after posting about the miscarriage of our first pregnancy, that i'd fall pregnant again and was a lot further along than originally thought. so, i am so very pleased to announce that baby byrne squared should be ready to pop out sometime around june. it devastated me, as i documented, that i miscarried what would have been me and nicky's first baby but finding out i was pregnant again after not actively trying that i couldn't believe how blessed i was to be able to get a second chance at making me and my husband's dream come true. i love you so bloody much nico that, it's the greatest privilege to be able to give you and me twin babies and it's been the best thing i've ever genuinely done in my life and it's all i've ever wanted in my life and that's to see you happy and to have our little family together of our own. the countdown for baby byrne squared is now on! 

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nickybyrneinsta jesus christ, alessandra, i love you so much! watching you this entire time you've carried baby byrne squared has been astounding, you are truly a pro at this! i cannot wait for the day we meet them!

alessandrabyrne nickybyrneinsta i love you even more nico! and thank you, you're too kind, if i'm a pro, what are you because you've also been spectacular as well! and i can't wait either, it's going to be the best day ever!

caileano ahh, it's getting so close! it feels like we can just touch baby byrne squared due date and they'll be here soon!

alessandrabyrne caileano i know right? it's going to fly by so quickly and then boom, you and marky will be uncles to two beautiful little twins forever and ever!

jodialbert this post has made me so happy! seeing nicky get to announce, again, to a crowd of many that he's becoming a father but also to twins was for sure a moment that'll be unforgettable

alessandrabyrne jodialbert oh tell me about it! i wanted to post it before nicky announced it but i decided to wait since i wanted him to announce it before anyone else could. and i know, i was bawling my eyes out when he announced it, especially when i noticed the reactions of kian, nicky and shane behind him!

kianegan i still cannot believe nicky waited until the show tonight to tell us that you're having twins!

alessandrabyrne kianegan you're telling me?! i thought you guys already knew! which is probably why i started bawling my eyes out when i saw your guys' reactions on stage lol

markusmoments not gonna lie, i was a little bit stunned and maybe teary-eyed when nicky announced you guys were having twins

alessandrabyrne markusmoments so was i! i genuinely thought he had already told you three!

shanefilanofficial wow, still not over the fact you and nicky will be parents to twins! 

alessandrabyrne shanefilanofficial so am i and i'm carrying the twins for us!

gillianfilansligo you and nicky will be the best parents in the entire world!

alessandrabyrne gillianfilansligo here here gillian! i agree!

rokeating oh this is just spectacular news! i'm so glad you didn't give up trying!

alessandrabyrne rokeating oh, thank you so much ronan! you're too sweet! me, nicky and the unborn twins send all our love to you and stormy xx

*

then, surprising absolutely everyone, six weeks earlier then their due date, twin boys rocco bertie and jay nicky byrne were born on the 20th of april. in holles street dublin hospital via c-section, alessandra gave birth to the twins. then, it wasn't until very recently that the new parents got to bring their babies home due to how small they were, having to stay in incubators for four to five weeks to get to the correct healthy weight to leave the hospital. 

to announce the arrival of rocco and jay, fans waited until the parents brought rocco and jay home before they got to see the post of the happy parents with their twin boys. 

liked by alessandrabyrne, jodialbert, kianegan and 95k others

nickybyrneinsta rocco and jay byrne. mum and boys are happy and healthy x

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alessandrabyrne the sweetest little boys in the world! 

jodialbert i feel like christmas came early! i love you four so much 💙💕💙

nickybyrnefan congratulations nicky and alessandra! rocco and jay are gorgeous

username congratulations nicky and alessandra! and congratulations to your wife for healthily delivering her 💕

liked by nickybyrneinsta, shanefilanofficial, gillianfilansligo, kianegan and 10k others

alessandrabyrne born six weeks early, here they are everyone, little boys rocco and jay was born safe and sound. it may have been a tough delivery but the relief nico and i had when we saw our two little boys at the end of it was all that mattered! rocco and jay, daddy and mummy love you so much! welcome to the byrne family, you'll love it! 

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nickybyrneinsta our gorgeous boys, aless! we have our little family now! 

shanefilanofficial oh aren't they just gorgeous little things! congratulations nicky and alessandra! 

kianegan oh, what gorgeous boys they are! they are already so loved! congratulations nicky and alessandra, they are beautiful! 

username congratulations alessandra and nicky! rocco and jay are just gorgeous! 

jodialbert rocco and jay are going to be the most gorgeous and loved little boys in the world!

baby rocco and jay were born safe and sound... nicky got his one true wish to come true... he has finally got his missing piece... he's the father to an already beautiful rocco and jay with his wife alessandra. 

fin

glad to have given this two-parter a happy ending and keeping it happy!

© amberswilddreams, 2024

[bbael]

hiii 🖤 i missed u,,, I’ve wanted pop by and say hello for so long now and always think of you <3 but i have been generally dead to the world for a little while now sdjsdjsdj im fine tho !! but life has just been beating my ass fr these last couple months 💀

anywho !! here i am using my last ounce of energy to lovingly scribe you a message, written in my own fair blood of course, on an ancient parchment,,, but the little bat i paid (in beetles) to deliver you my letter got lost; so im forced to type my message to u here instead, which will have to do 🙄 (sillyness)

but how have u been dearie!! i myself have not been up to much during my expiring, but the sun has started to come out again, and the bluebells where i live have started to bloom, and my pet doggy is loving to sunbathe, so those things are good. i saw a concert too the other month and have another booked for next year ! and am contemplating booking einstürzende neubaten for later this year, but i genuinely have nobody to go with that could stand it 😭

as always and forever, love u lots, and hope you have been well,, i feel so bad for not messaging for so long now, but please know i have thought of you every day 🖤 sending many of hugs, & till later my dear !! 🖤

Hiii oh my god, getting this ask a couple weeks(?) ago was such a relief hon because I was starting to think you were actually dead, like not even kidding I was concerned 😭 so good to hear that at the very least u lived and are well enough to make it to here my humble ask box.....

Literally praying for the bat bc girl is he okay :((

But I'm glad over your side of the world things are getting warmer, I yearn for the sun as much as your doggy might tbh :(. (Puppy sunbathing is such a wonderful visual too omg...)

Hope you're spending lots of time outside and making the most of it! Here's cooling down pretty fast and I'm shivering 24/7, I hate it and hate being bundled up in 500 layers >_<.

I can't believe you have the chance to see EN this year omg... I would so go with you 🥹🖤 ur hanging out with the wrong ppl hon..... I hope u can still go though, live my dream please~

& how are you now?? You still half-dead and busy or already doing better? 🥺 I need more updates, felt like forever truly..

My life has not been super exciting either....

Idk if i got to tell you about my latest development which was that a while ago I started working as a prof, finally. Had it coming for years but felt so damn unprepared.... it's been embarrassingly easy though, I'm very happy with how things turned out and just getting 2 hours here, 1 hour there at different schools for very short term periods while I keep my half-time on the place I was already working at 🥹 sounds busy as hell but it might be the most free time I've had in years lol.

I'm sorry if I already told you that btw, can't remember at all and I must sound like a broken record if I did ahhh

I'll also be moving couple provinces away soon which is,,, amazing...unbelievable even! But I'll update on that as it happens bc I really am too anxious to even think bout it atm lmao

Anyhow,, I really really I'm so unbelievable glad to read from you my dear 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 you have no idea,, I was sending my little moths to find you 😔💔🥀 holding u in my arms tightly so I don't lose sight of u as easily omg.

Really hoping things are well over there and that you are having a much easier time now ;w; sending literally all my love like leaving none for nobody else, mwah 🫀

[amberjazmyn]

nicky byrne one-shot

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - byrne squared (part two of so much blood)

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - fluff, mentions of miscarriage, infertility, hospital, happy tears, pregnancy, happy ending

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - a couple of months after her miscarriage, it was found out that alessandra byrne, nicky byrne's wife, was pregnant again and was finally able to give her husband nicky the one thing he's always wanted

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - praise the lord, this is an original one-shot that has not been reused and recycled thank god. i already knew i wanted to do part two of "so much blood" so i am so glad i got to. this will be a lot happier than the first part but the miscarriage will be talked about in an italicised flashback by an instagram post posted by alessandra even though it didn't exist in 2007, when nicky's twins, rocco and jay were born, pretend it did. and like part one, this will be in lowercase. enjoy my lovely dovelies.

masterlist

- - - 

liked by nickybyrneinsta, caileano, markusmoments, stormykeating, jodialbert and 889k others

alessandrabyrne all my life, i knew i wanted to be a mother and that my husband wanted to be a father. so, we started trying but no matter how hard we tried, we always had a negative result which always broke our hearts because we thought we were doing something wrong and constantly wondering why we were never getting pregnant. and then, out of sheer desperation, we stopped actively trying to get pregnant and one day, finally, after what felt like we had been trying forever, the one time we weren't actively trying, there was a positive pregnancy test. and we were so excited, even though we still grieved over the losses of all the negatives, we were just glad that i could actually get pregnant to give nicky and me our first ever baby and it was all truly going to plan and both baby and me were healthy as could be. that was until, at five months, heartbreaking, during a westlife concert during their number one's tour, i miscarried at the london o2 show and lost what would have been me and nicky's little baby girl. no one can prepare you for losing a baby but also a baby that was the only positive after so many negatives just breaks you even more. i wish i could explain how disgusted i felt in knowing that i couldn't even give my husband and i the singular thing that we had both wanted our entire lives. for ages, i hated myself because my body couldn't do the one thing it was supposed to do. and for so long, all i could do was apologise to nicky because he didn't deserve to lose his baby. he didn't deserve to have his wife miscarrying what was going to be his beautiful baby girl. nicky, babe, even though i've constantly been saying it, i don't think i'll ever be able to stop saying it until i am able to give you our gorgeous baby girl so, again, i am so, so incredibly sorry that i couldn't give you what you so desperately want in your life. i am so sorry i can't give you your little princess or even a little prince but, in saying that, i'll never give up, i won't stop trying until i can give us our little princess or little prince!

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nickybyrneinsta oh aless, you don't need to apologise! it's not your fault babe! you need to stop apologising!

alessandrabyrne nickybyrneinsta i love you nicko. it was an honour to even carry baby byrne for those short five months and i hope next time i'll carry it all the way to term for us

caileano when are you going to stop apologising, alessandra? it's not your fault and it never will be. nicky is not mad at you and he never could be! 

alessandrabyrne caileano i love you cailean. and you nor mark will ever owe me, noah, arlo, michaela and noelle an apology, ever! don't even try to apologise because you and mark are not at fault either

markusmoments as always, my heart breaks over this. but one day i promise you'll give you and nicky a beautiful baby, just don't stop trying alessandra

alessandrabyrne markusmoments so does mine, mark. and thank you, i haven't stopped trying as i am determined as hell to have this baby and hand it over to nicko

stormykeating my heart aches over this! but it heals because of how courageous and strong you are to even talk about it when it's something that many women don't talk about! ro and i send all our love, hugs and kisses to you and nicky 

alessandrabyrne stormykeating thank you for the kind words stormy, i love you and ronan so much, your guys' support has been amazing!

jodialbert you are superwoman, alessandra! thank you for speaking up about this even though it's difficult, you'll help a lot of women out there by posting about this my darling

alessandrabyrne jodialbert oh stop it, jodi! but, thank you, i was at first hesitant but quickly realised that if i do talk about it, it'll be a lot more helpful than just ignoring it and not talking about it!

just as nicky byrne, alessandra byrne's husband predicted and maybe even manifested, two weeks after posting about the miscarriage of her and nicky's baby, alessandra found out that after she and nicky really stopped trying that she was once again pregnant with her and nicky's baby. and it was predicted that baby byrne was going to be due in june of 2007. however, for the safety and consolation of the byrne's, they didn't announce the pregnancy until their ireland show when nicky mentioned that, once again, he and alessandra were going to become pregnant and thanked his wife. and then after that, alessandra announced it with some photos of her through a series of pregnancy bumpdates to her blog with the sweetest caption. but that was until after nicky had announced it on stage so let's just say it was just happy news on top of happy news after wht was such devastation for alessandra and nicky. 

ireland show

"---good evening ireland!" nicky announces after the band sings their 2003 record of the year hit, mandy as the crowd cheers

"this is westlife's the love tour! we are so excited to back on stage in front of all of you guys, umm, the love tour is here and we are here to celebrate westlife so, thank you guys so much and, i just have to say that...i'm about to become a father..." nicky pauses as the crowd screams and cheers 

"thank you... it's been a tough time since my wife, alessandra sadly miscarried late last year so, we're excited to announce that not only are we pregnant but we are pregnant with twins..." the crowd screams even more as he then hears his bandmates, kian, shane and mark cheer and applaud, making nicky laugh as well as alessandra and the rest of the wives and spouses who were watching from the barricades in front of the stage 

"...so, umm, that's some exciting news that i've kind of been getting really impatient about revealing..." nicky gets cut off by his bandmates' cheering again, making him laugh as he continues 

"...yeah, we wanted to keep this as secretive as we possibly could, alessandra and i and, we're just so excited to meet our babies!" nicky smiled tearfully as a shy chuckle left his mouth 

"umm, anyway, moving forward, this next song is if i let you go all the way back to the beginning of westlife--" nicky then continues as he introduces the next song after dedicating the song to alessandra 

alessandra couldn't help but tear up as she watched her husband get so excited to announce that this time, he was really going to become a father and that she was going to be a mother after thinking they weren't going to be able to be parents. 

then, she cried even more when nicky sang to her during his verse, ultimately thanking her, his wife, for making his one true wish finally come true. shane, kian and mark then interacted with her during the song and then after a couple more songs, it was a break in between quick changes and they got to give a quick set of hugs and kisses to alessandra and the two baby byrnes. 

*

by the time the concert finished, it seemed as though everyone on social media and alessandra's blog were talking about the fact that alessandra and nicky were becoming parents again after the miscarriage of their first one. now, all the fans were waiting for was actual confirmation by alessandra so, alessandra gave her fans and the westlife fans what they were waiting for and did confirm that she was pregnant with her and nicky's twins. 

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alessandrabyrne it's with the greatest plasure and privilege to announce that, after the on-stage announcement at the ireland westlife gig tonight from my husband nicky that i am indeed pregnant with nicky and i's twins. it was as though my husband had either manifested it or just knew that a few months after posting about the miscarriage of our first pregnancy, i fell pregnant again and was a lot further along than originally thought. so, i am so very pleased to announce that baby byrne squared should be ready to pop out sometime around june. it devastated me, as i documented, that i miscarried what would have been me and nicky's first baby but finding out i was pregnant again after not actively trying that i couldn't believe how blessed i was to be able to get a second chance at making me and my husband's dream come true. i love you so bloody much nicko that, it's the greatest privilege to be able to give you and me twin babies and it's been the best thing i've ever genuinely done in my life and it's all i've ever wanted in my life and that's to see you happy and to have our little family together of our own. the countdown for baby byrne squared is now on! 

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nickybyrneinsta jesus christ, alessandra, i love you so much! watching you this entire time you've carried baby byrne squared has been astounding, you are truly a pro at this! i cannot wait for the day we meet them!

alessandrabyrne nickybyrneinsta i love you even more nicko! and thank you, you're too kind, if i'm a pro, what are you because you've also been spectacular as well! and i can't wait either, it's going to be the best day ever!

caileano ahh, it's getting so close! it feels like we can just touch baby byrne squared due date and they'll be here soon!

alessandrabyrne caileano i know right? it's going to fly by so quickly and then boom, you and marky will be uncles to two beautiful little twins forever and ever!

jodialbert this post has made me so happy! seeing nicky get to announce, again, to a crowd of many that he's becoming a father but also to twins was for sure a moment that'll be unforgettable

alessandrabyrne jodialbert oh tell me about it! i wanted to post it before nicky announced it but i decided to wait since i wanted him to announce it before anyone else could. and i know, i was bawling my eyes out when he announced it, especially when i noticed the reactions of kian, nicky and shane behind him!

kianegan i still cannot believe nicky waited until the show tonight to tell us that you're having twins!

alessandrabyrne kianegan you're telling me?! i thought you guys already knew! which is probably why i started bawling my eyes out when i saw your guys' reactions on stage lol

markusmoments not gonna lie, i was a little bit stunned and maybe teary-eyed when nicky announced you guys were having twins

alessandrabyrne markusmoments so was i! i genuinely thought he had already told you three!

shanefilanofficial wow, still not over the fact you and nicky will be parents to twins! 

alessandrabyrne shanefilanofficial so am i and i'm carrying the twins for us!

gillianfilansligo you and nicky will be the best parents in the entire world!

alessandrabyrne gillianfilansligo here here gillian! i agree!

rokeating oh this is just spectacular news! i'm so glad you didn't give up trying!

alessandrabyrne rokeating oh, thank you so much ronan! you're too sweet! me, nicky and the unborn twins send all our love to you and stormy xx

*

then, surprising absolutely everyone, six weeks earlier then their due date, twin boys rocco bertie and jay nicky byrne were born on the 20th of april. in holles street dublin hospital via c-section, alessandra gave birth to the twins. then, it wasn't until very recently that the new parents got to bring their babies home due to how small they were, having to stay in incubators for four to five weeks to get to the correct healthy weight to leave the hospital. 

to announce the arrival of rocco and jay, fans waited until the parents brought rocco and jay home before they got to see the post of the happy parents with their twin boys. 

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nickybyrneinsta rocco and jay byrne. mum and boys are happy and healthy x

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alessandrabyrne the sweetest little boys in the world! 

jodialbert i feel like christmas came early! i love you four so much 💙💕💙

nickybyrnefan congratulations nicky and alessandra! rocco and jay are gorgeous

username congratulations nicky and alessandra! and congratulations to your wife for healthily delivering her 💕

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alessandrabyrne born six weeks early, here they are everyone, little boys rocco and jay was born safe and sound. it may have been a tough delivery but the relief nicko and i had when we saw our two little boys at the end of it was all that mattered! rocco and jay, daddy and mummy love you so much! welcome to the byrne family, you'll love it! 

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nickybyrneinsta our gorgeous boys, aless! we have our little family now! 

shanefilanofficial oh aren't they just gorgeous little things! congratulations nicky and alessandra! 

kianegan oh, what gorgeous boys they are! they are already so loved! congratulations nicky and alessandra, they are beautiful! 

username congratulations alessandra and nicky! rocco and jay are just gorgeous! 

jodialbert rocco and jay are going to be the most gorgeous and loved little boys in the world!

baby rocco and jay were born safe and sound... nicky got his one true wish to come true... he has finally got his missing piece... he's the father to an already beautiful rocco and jay with his wife alessandra. 

- - -

this was fun to make after the depressing first part haha! also, i know the timeline may have been messy even though it was during the 2007 tour when georgina (nicky's actual wife) had her water's breaking but i just know they were in ireland when it happened. anyway, i hope you enjoyed this! 

ok ily bye xx

wc; 2697

[raynewritingdownthoughts]

sat mar 25th, 2023

rainy day and i’m really enjoying margaret by lana so much. the way she says the first couple of lines gives me goosebumps. it just reminds me of how i feel sometimes. like oh god here we go, let’s see how this goes.

alex said i looked good today when he brought over my hot chocolate. he’s always so kind to me. he’s a lot younger but i feel like he’s the kind of guy that would be good for me. someone who just oozes kindness and has been through a lot but isn’t warped. i guess i can’t really know what he’s like, but he feels warm. it’s easy to feel how people are in how they interact, even the basics. i don’t really love wearing makeup and i don’t wear much but i often feel like i’m treated better when i do… sigh

i had a lot of dreams last night that i’ve forgotten. before i fell asleep i thought about how cozy i was with ado. i miss the feeling of being held a bit. not by him specifically. ah. it would be good for me to never see him again. i do wonder.. will it? i hope i’ll be okay. in fact, i know i will be. shaken up doesn’t mean that it’s going to affect me that much. life is so like this. it’s so much!

yesterday was so pleasant because both victoria came in and nancy. both of them give me so much energy. i get so excited. she ended up taking a pic of me when she was leaving the store. and invited me to a concert tonight. maybe i’ll go? can’t quite decide. i feel like i need to keep focusing on myself so i don’t get lost in others. don’t want to attach to this person who probably would be averse to it. but honestly, i respect other peoples’ boundaries so well. i’m mostly in need of protecting my own.

time goes by. i stand. i sit. i remember. it’s been almost 5 months alone. 9 months alone was my longest. a year alone seems like the right timeline for now. i’m not ready for anyone. i want to be ready and be the full loving person i know i am. i’m already improving so much and being so vulnerable with my friends and new friends. currie and i, as well as me, ezra, and ryan, have the healthiest relationships i’ve ever had. actual trust, actual closeness. it took time. i have had moments where i demonized and wanted to run away, but i haven’t.

as for morgan, i notice my resentfulness. i send her responses and she can’t return any comment. she sends me stuff and i respond back but i feel myself not truly feeling like doing it. because my needs aren’t being met. and like i’ve come to notice, my expectations have been like -1. we’ll see. i’m going to talk to her when we hang out. state again that i need commitment when it comes to friendship. i want to be interacted with. not just someone you send a few things to do and that’s it.

work is going fine and next next week i’m going to ask for both a raise and for tips to be add to cut flower purchases.

a little bothered that my gyno didn’t test for hpv. that’s literally the reason i wanted a pap smear… so i sent a message to her. if she doesn’t get back, i’ll call. health is a priority.

i want to make another paper cutout tonight. actually watch a movie. do yoga. i don’t think i would actually enjoy a concert tonight. also, depends on price… i’ll think about it.

happy to be alive. i’m doing it.

[sehunniepotwrites]

I’ve been good! It’s been almost a year since I moved out, happy to be getting away from my psycho housemate soon enough (loooong story but I have 2 housemates, one is fine but the other may be literal Satan).

I started work at my new job and got promoted last month! Still a big learning curve and a high stress environment but it’s Hollywood. Dreams will come true…maybe. Eventually. I’m a talent assistant, which comes with its perks (networking, reading unproduced scripts, working with celebrity clients, I helped pitch a show to a major streamer last week) and downsides (most of which are sleep and personal time).

I also have a boyfriend! I’ve been dating him since last spring and we’ve been official since the summer (broke up for a month, also a long story) but we got back together and are stronger than ever. I’ve actually been trying to figure out which members he reminds me of the most but I keep pulling a blank (my friends out here aren’t huge KPoppies) maybe you can help?

Anywho, I’ve just been working hard (and playing hard, plenty to do out here) and am excited for the NCT Dream world tour! I saw 127 while they were out here (and SKZ, MX, KCon) so I’m hyped for what’s coming next.

- ⛅️ Anon

oh god, psycho housemates, i totally understand. wishing you the best of luck with that whole situation!

but congrats on the new position AND promotion! aaah hollywood?! you’re so close yet so far from me because i’m in the bay 🥲 that job sounds amazing, i hope you’re enjoying it!! i’ve had friends from my old job at disneyland become talent assistants so i know a lil about what it requires and it’s def a lot. proud of u!!!

OMG AND A BOYFRIEND?!? CONGRAAAATS, B!!! and i’m glad to help u!!!

work hard, play hard is the goal! and omg you were at 127 in LA too? i was on the floor!! maybe see you at dream? i’d love to meet up IF AND ONLY IF you’re comfortable! (i tried to meet cee during 127 but the concert started by the time i was gonna make my way up to her 🙃 i got the days off already HAHA my friends in my grad program were like “idk how you juggle all these vacations during school” but i was like “these are needed” 🤡