#I AM HERE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT GETTING WOKE UP AT PRE ASS CRACK OF DAWN JUST TO GO ON public transport EW

[hercarisntyours]

Nobody on this piece of public transport knows I'm odette from hercarisntyours on tumblr

but she does

[joyfulhopelox]

Coffee puns and wayside milkshakes

Pairing: Seokjin x reader (idol!jin, non-idol!reader, established relationship)

Warnings: some light swearing, really bad puns

Summary: Busy schedules have made it impossible to spend time with your boyfriend but he makes sure to assure you that he is still thinking of you. So even though he has promotions during summer he takes the time to plan an amazing road trip just for the two of you. Even if it is just to the drive thru in the next town over.

Genre: fluff gone into crack or crack gone into fluff

Word count: 3,020

Rating: g

A/N: This is part of the @bangtanwritingbingo event! Chosen square number 1 is 'road trip'. I made it pure fluff which i have to admit i thought i would be completely terrible at, but the more i write the better i get at it (hopefully). I had so much fun writing this! It was also once again meant to be a drabble, but....that is clearly something i have to work on. Enjoy some really bad puns from me!

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox for both the work and the banner

“Tell me again why are we up….” observing the still and dark atmosphere out the window you sighed, “at the ass crack of dawn?”

Normally, you would not question your boyfriend. Even when he would make stupid jokes or do stupid things, which acted contrary to his close-to-30 age. You trusted him completely, you may even say you trusted him with your life. And yet, this morning or night, you were seriously questioning his sanity. Have his schedules gotten to his head? Has the tiredness of constant practice and promotions made him lose it?

“Just you wait, love, i told you it’s a surprise” he shushed you, excitedly jumping out of the warm bed. Not wanting to get up just yet, it was 4am in the morning for God’s sake, you burrowed yourself deeper into the warm sheets whilst commandeering his pillow. “Love, come on get up. The surprise will not work if we are late” Seokjin whined.

“No, 5 more minutes” you grumbled into the pillow. It smelled of him and that comfort was slowly getting you back into the dream world. A dream world where a normal Jin would wake you up at a normal time, and you would get to spend a normal day together, gaming and cooking. But no, reality had to be shattered, instead this Seokjin was tugging at the duvet whilst patting your leg. “Okay, 5 more minutes whilst i go wash up but then you have to get up. We have to be in the car in 30 minutes” he warned, breaking you out of your dreamworld.

Basking in the comfort of the bed until you hear the bathroom door close, you decide that you were awake enough to face the chill of a summer morning. Throwing the blanket off of you, you gave the window a dirty look. As if it was the cause of your distress. It was summer, why was it so dark outside early in the morning? Because you woke up, correction because your lovely boyfriend woke you up at an ungodly hour. “I swear Kim Seokjin….” you mumbled to yourself. Making your way hurriedly to the kitchen, your form still wrapped like a burrito in the blanket you decided you needed caffeine, and fast.

“Love, now is not the time, we can’t be late” jumping at the whiny voice of your boyfriend you turned around, and when recalling this story to his friends, Jin would swear that he physically felt your murderous gaze stabbing him. “Kim Seokjin, if you do not allow me to have at least one cup of coffee before we set out onto this whatever it is” motioning wildly in the air “i swear i will make your life a living hell forever, even after i am dead i will haunt you until you are dead, and even in death i will haunt you” rambling on you failed to notice the amused expression on Jin’s face. God, you were adorable. However, as soon as you had finished your rant and you gazed back at him, for the sake of his life and his family jewels he straightened his pose and nodded at you in an attempt to be serious.

“Of course”

Satisfied you turned back to making your coffee, and some for the road. You knew that as active as Jin was at the moment, once on the road he would harass you for a sip. And if there was one thing you could not stand, it was sharing your coffee.

“Hey Y/N, what do you call a sad cup of coffee?” Oh no, here we go again. “Jiiiiiin” you whined, “it’s too early for this, what do you call it?” despite having complained about his bad dad jokes, you secretly enjoyed it when he made them. The jokes were not amazing most times, but seeing him so happy and hearing his laugh was what made them the best jokes you could have ever heard.

“A depresso” bursting out laughing fully at his own joke made you giggle at him. He was adorable, and he was all yours. Fondly gazing at him you shook your head whilst still giggling. His infectious humour was better at brightening your day than any coffee.

“Very funny baby, now let me finish making this coffee so we can leave. You’re the one in a hurry” you stuck your tongue out at him.

“Ah, yes indeed” he rushed to exit the kitchen. Not before turning around to wink at you and blow you a kiss whilst delivering his last one line puncher. “After all, we don’t want to be latte.” You could still hear his laugh even as he reached the other end of the corridor.

“Silly man”

-

Finally with two coffees in tow, you got yourself strapped into the car and waited for Jin to finish shoving into the back of the car what he presented as “top secret and you are not allowed to peek”. So you did your best to not let curiosity get to you and instead closed your eyes in an attempt to get a few more minutes of sleep. As you were drifting off slowly but surely, all you could hear in the background were the constant complaints of your boyfriend arguing with whatever he was trying to fit into the back of the car. And by the way the car was shaking it felt like he was forcing an elephant in there. You smiled gently to yourself, this is what bliss felt like to you. Not those extra minutes of sleep, not the thought of the planned date- which excited you nonetheless, but the knowledge that today was a day where you could spend some time with Jin and listen to him whine, complain, rant, express his love for you, cuddle you and all that in person.

“You alright there love?” you finally decided to check on his well being after another 10 minutes of grumbling.

“Yes, yes. Just trying….to get this thing to…..fit” heaving he let out a triumphal yell. “Done! Now let’s gogogogogo on this exciting road trip!” enthusiastically he opened the car door and jumped in almost hitting you in the face with his arm and whacking his own knee on the wheel of the car. “Oh my gosh, are you ok, did i hit you?” you stifled a giggle, he did not hit you and yet even though he clearly was in pain he made sure to check on you first.

“Jin, i’m fine babe, but clearly you aren’t. Please be more careful” you chided gently reaching over to rub the sore spot on his shin. With a gentle smile he grabbed your hand in his warm one. Despite the chilly air of the morning, he was warm and inviting, his hand on yours instantly heating up your cold ones. “I’m sorry love, I promise i will be” he reached out to cup your cheek with his free hand rubbing your skin and with care as if you were made out of porcelain he brought his soft plump lips to yours in a brief kiss that left you breathless.

“Hey, Y/N?” his lips a breath away from you that made you swear you still felt them on yours, was that wishful thinking? Maybe. “I love you” your eyes skimmed over his features lost in a world of your own and with a suddenly mischievous grin you pulled back from him fastening your seatbelt.

“I love you too, you mocha me very happy”

With an incredulous scoff, Jin fastened his own seatbelt and put the car into drive. “Careful love, you will become worse than me” he warned amusedly, the pride in his voice unmasked. He did love it when you would one up him on his jokes. Sometimes you would make a competition out of it, an unannounced one so that neither of you could have pre prepared comebacks and see who won. Most times you lost miserably, and the times you won you were absolutely certain that Jin went easy on you. He was the fountain of knowledge when it came to puns.

“But Jin, i am worse than you” giggling like idiots, you turned your gaze to the window prepared for the trip ahead. You had no idea where you were going but as long as you were with Seokjin, you would be absolutely fine.

------------

“I swear to god Kim Seokjin, you plan a trip in the middle of the night to somewhere, lord knows where, and you don’t even think to consider checking the gas tank????”

As the car slowly sputtered and came to a stop at the end of the road you turned to look at your desperate boyfriend. “Oh nononnononono, this can’t be happening. I was meant to stop at a station as soon as we exited the city” trying to get the car to start again you bit your lip. Maybe it was the fact that you had placed your trust fully in him, or the fact that he was so sure of this trip, or the fact that he had bragged about this trip for a while now but this end you had not foreseen, and so it made it incredibly amusing for you. 30 minutes outside of your own city and the car had run out of fuel. If it weren’t for Jin’s distressed pleas for the car to start up and for you to forgive him for ruining this trip you would have burst out laughing a while back.

Deciding to end his misery you grabbed for his hand, now clammy from stress. “Babe, it’s ok. Let's just get out of the car and try to call someone to check the car out. We ran out of gas, it happens” rubbing your finger over the back of his hand in an attempt to call him you used your other hand to try to look for your phone.

Only to remember that in your hurry you had left without it. Groaning, you did not want to panic Jin more than he was so you did not mention your own phones. Knowing him, he’s forgotten his at home on purpose. On days when he had plans with you, he would make it a point to not spend time on his phone. Thanking your lucky stars you at least had your cards with you and some cash.

“I’m really really really sorry love” Jin gave you a pleading look. Shaking your head you sighed and opened your door. “Come on lover boy, let's get this situation fixed”

A couple of steps into the trek you finally hear the car being locked and the sound of pounding footsteps behind you. You walked in silence for 15 minutes, neither of you knowing what to say. You were decently tired and hungry but more worried about Jin’s state of mind. On the other hand your boyfriend was berating himself for ruining a perfectly planned day and probably making you upset for doing so. Finding the service phone by the side of the road you quickly phoned for someone to come and fix the situation and they informed you it may take a couple of hours to get to you. But it was better than nothing. You would probably miss entirely what Jin’s planned for you but you could always make the most of what you currently had. Now, on the way back to the car you finally sneaked a glance at your own boyfriend.

Catching his own worried gaze you looked away. You were in the middle of almost nowhere, stuck, without a car or food, it was still extremely early, and yet all you could think of was how handsome Jin looked. In the soft morning glow reflected on his skin and his messy hair stuffed under his cap, you realised how lucky you were. Misinterpreting your long stare he bit his lip, “Are you angry?” You did not want to respond to him, not yet at least. If you did you would either burst out in giggles or you would end up trying to comfort him, and you had no time to spare at the moment. Was it mean? Probably but you swore to yourself you would make it up to him. “Love” he kept insisting, “Y/N, are you angry?” Only when you heard the sadness creep into his usual tone of voice did you stop and look at him.

You opened your mouth to reply to him, but he would not allow you to speak yet. Afraid that you would start telling him how awful of a boyfriend he is, gone for long periods of time and when he is finally home he clearly cannot do anything proper, he starts stumbling over his words trying to explain himself to you. “Love, i’m so so so sorry. I did not mean for this to happen. I had the whole thing planned, i was going to take us to the seaside today so we can watch the sunrise and sunset on the beach like you have always wanted, and we were going to enjoy a picnic and a nice dip in the ocean and i was going to take you to the fair at night time so we can ride the ferris wheel and have a romantic kiss at the top and…”

As adorable as you found a rambling Jin, his red cheeks, his lips which were now extremely swollen from how much he bit them, you could not let him torture himself much longer. You were worried he may end up having a self induced anxiety attack. And you definitely were not angry as he seemed to think you would be.

“Love” you tried once, but in his distress he had stopped listening to you. “Jin” and again, finally having had enough you took three strides towards him and placed your hand over his mouth in a gentle attempt to get him to stop talking.

“It is ok. I am not angry. Not by a long shot. I don’t care about sunrises, I don't care about sunsets, I don't care about ferris wheel rides, I don't care about picnics. Seeing the hurt in his eyes you immediately added, “ I don't care about all these things if they don’t happen with you. Plans get ruined, that is why they are plans. We could have spent the whole day in our pjs and had a coffee pun competition whilst playing games and i would have not minded. We could have spent the whole day just literally doing nothing but staying in bed and I would have not minded. The thought of you even just planning to put all this together even when you are so busy is more than enough for me. Please stop apologising about this. I am not mad at all”

Jin reached out delicately and lowered your hand away from his mouth. “But it’s because I've been so busy that I have fucked up immensely. I wanted to do something nice for you to show you how much I care about you. Being away all the time is hard especially when all i want to do is have you there with me all the time but knowing that i can’t.” A strand of your hair had been blown into your face by the wind and he took his time to fix it for you, his hand dropping down onto the hollow of your neck.

“Babe, i would want nothing more than to be able to be with you all the time, but unfortunately we can’t. And you would get sick of me anyways” you laughed gently. Jin was about to protest but you continued. “ You show me everyday how much you care about me, no matter how busy you are you always take your time to talk even if briefly. You always send me cute pictures and pictures of food, which make me really jealous by the way” Jin laughed, his eyes crinkling.

“And when we do actually get to spend time together we have the best of times no matter what we do. Not because we are doing something out of the ordinary but because we are spending time together. If i’m with you i don’t care what we are doing, it’s the best time of my life” You slowly rose on your toes to press your lips to his. Seeing it as an opportunity Jin tightly wrapped your arms around your waist and lifted you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist with a squeal. A kiss that was meant to last a few seconds ended up with you propped against the side of the car wrapped around Jin’s sturdy frame.

“I love you” he whispered once he settled you back on his feet. “So so so much”

Prepared to answer with a confession of your own, you felt your stomach grumble. The moment now interrupted, both of you started cackling. “I love you too babe,” patting his chest, “but you know what I would love more? Some food.”

“We have a bit more to wait until we get this situation fixed” As if a lightbulb had been turned on Jin jerked away from you. “Wait here” running around to the back of the car he opened it and pulled out a cooler and two tumblrs. Ignoring your inquisitive looks he opened the cooler and got out some vanilla ice cream. Reaching out into the boot again he pulled out a pack of fresh strawberries. Laughing you finally understood.

“Milkshakes?” He held both items in his hands proudly.

When you had told him you would give anything in exchange for spending time with him you meant it. Whether the road trip would have been a success in the end, or you just called it a day after you got your car sorted. But just sitting there on the wayside by the car enjoying your makeshift milkshakes and each other’s company was complete perfection to you and you would not have it any other way.

[geminimoonbeamx]

Naive: Part 2

A/N: I’m so freaking happy you guys seemed to like the intro, I wrote this and a few other chapters up in one night! Hopefully I can get you guys as hyped as I am for this story

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: Just cursing in this chapter because I have the mouth of a sailor. The stirrings of sexual tension. The big stuffs coming next time though you guys I promise lol

Summary: As the goddaughter of Tony Stark you were no stranger to the Avengers, but when you meet the newest member- you’re a little more then intrigued. Unfortunately for him, Bucky Barnes has caught your eye. 💘💘💘💘💘💘

You’ve been at the tower for close to five-ish days now, and you’re still trying to get reaccoustomed to the enormity of the building.

Had it always been so fucking big?

You’d think since you we’re older now, it should have shrunk a bit. You know, size relativity and all that? If anything now that you we’re older you had the mental capacity to process just how freakishly huge this building was. The man tower is over sixty floors.

…that gave you a lot of opportunity to get totally lost. All the time.

You’d never had the greatest internal navigation system in the first place. You could get lost down the street from your house.

“I don’t know where I am! I’m between a Del Taco and a Walgreens”

You’d made many a lost phone call that sounded just like that.

You’d probably text Tony and ask him exactly what floor the main gym was on but 1) he’d tease you and ask “How exactly do you plan on playing Lara Croft all over the world and you cant find your way to the gym” and 2) it was three thirty in the morning.

You we’re irritated, being up this early when you didn’t have to. Especially when within the next few weeks you’d be starting adult life again and you’d have no choice but to wake up at the ass crack of dawn. It felt like a waste of precious sleep.

But no matter how hard you’d tried, it was no use. You’d smoked an entire joint of indica. Made chamomile tea- meditated until it felt like you we’re going to scream. Everything. And yet you couldn’t manage to get comfortable in the king sized, memory foam mattress.

Starting to come down off of the medication hadn’t been as awful as you and Tony had both been fearing. You we’re a little jittery- your anxiety acting up more then normal but you weren’t all strung the hell out and pale with sunken in eyes. You weren’t crying, hunched up in a corner begging for death or your next fix.

You we’re tired though. Exhausted and yet somehow couldn’t sleep. Your body just wouldn’t let you.

Why? Why lort? Sleeping was your favorite activity in the world. Dreaming an actual hobby of yours.

“This is bullshit” You complained to Tony a few days ago. You we’re going on 48 hours with close to no sleep. “I feel like I did like a kilo of Cocaine”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. You don’t know what cocaine feels like. That’s what I’m going to choose to believe” He had given you a pointed look when the both of you sat in his lab “Look kid, we knew there would be some side effects. It should ware off within the week, as your body gets used to this lower dosage. I can have the doc prescribe you some sleeping pills?”

You’d thought on it for a moment before denying it. You didn’t really wanting to be taking more meds right now.

“Alright, when you change your mind come find me” Tony had sighed. Your head was full of cement. Just like Jamie’s had been.

So since you didn’t take prescription- you figured you we’re going to have to find another way.

Your brilliant idea; run your body down until it had no choice but to crash.

It takes you another close to fifteen minutes before you find the main gym. It’s just a luxurious and lush as the rest of the building; three stories high. The top two floors looking over the large basket ball court. The equipment was state of the art and the various metal machines gleamed. You figured you’d do some cardio and then some weight lifting. Double whammy yourself.

People who have the pre conceived notion that fat people never work out are stupid. Point blank.

What, do they think people like you just sit on couches and stuff their mouths with twinkies while watching Rosanne…well that actually sounded like a good ass time but still.

You’d always been active, always loved going on hikes and exploring zoo’s and Museums and beaches for hours. Plus hadn’t anyone realized that shopping was the most hardcore cardio there was? And you lived to shop. After your mom- you’d needed to do something. To keep your mind clear and that is how your relationship with working out had come to be. You didn’t do it to lose weight, you did it to work on your health. Mental mostly, but your physical health came with that. Yeah you had a belly and thunder thighs. You also had kick ass blood pressure and strong calves.

You slip your headphones in after switching on your “Get it gurllll” playlist and hopping onto one of the elliptical machines, putting your water bottle in the holder before turning on the machine to pick your traction, starting at a decent pace.

The music shuffles from Amy Winehouse to J. Cole, to Lana Del Rey and Fleetwood Mac. Everyone had always teased you that you liked to work out to slow songs. It was something about the melody that got you moving. You go through song after song, keeping up your pace until your legs are screaming in protest and your breaths are labored.

With the blaring music in your ears, you don’t notice when someone else enters the room.

Bucky always came to workout early, usually getting the gym to himself. It’s not even that he liked the quiet or being alone or any of that- even though it was nice to not have Sam’s annoying, booming voice around. No, it was because he didn’t have anything else to do. When he woke up from the nightmares that still frequented him, he figured he should do something with all of that pent up energy, so he’d come to the empty gym and work his muscles until he could barley move.

He wasn’t used to the lights already being on when he got there.

He takes the steps to the cardio machine and stops in his tracks for a moment at the sight infront of him.

Y/N’s there, on an elliptical. He can hear the music in your ears from his spot across the floor, so he knew there was no way you could have heard him come in. Your working hard, your body straining in your skin tight leggings. Your silky ponytail bobs with your efforts, your breaths coming out in little pants. He can feel the look on his face. What were you doing here this early?

Should he leave? Was that weird, if he left after seeing that you was there? Surely this place was big enough for the two of you.

He thinks it’s probably smart to make his presence known, he’s just about to call for you when you stop and turn your head.

“OH HOLY FUCKING FUCK!” You cry in shock, your eyes wide with surprise as you yank the headphones from your ears before grabbing your chest, almost falling off the machine.

Bucky stands there, his own eyes big and his hands shooting up in a “sorry, I’m harmless” kind of way. A wordless surrender.

When your bell like laughter echo’s around him he relaxes a little bit “Bucky you scared the living crap out of me”

You accuse, good naturedly, still holding your hoodie clad chest.

“I’m sorry, It’s usually dead at this time so I kind of just barged in. I didn’t realize anyone is here” He explains himself. Leaving out the fact that he’d taken a moment to look at the way your thighs joggled in the spandex, of course.

You don’t know why you feel so…hot. Are your cheeks burning? No? It’s just your body reacting to the heart attack you’d almost just had.

“No, you’re good. Just give a girl a little warning next time, okay?” You chuckle as look down at the touch screen of the machine. You’d been on it for over an hour. You grab your water bottle and hop off. He hides his smile at how short your legs are.

“I’ll make sure to do that. So what are you doin’ up so early?” He hopes his attempt to make conversation didn’t sound as forced as it felt.

“I couldn’t sleep so I figured I might as well come try to run myself until I can knock out. You? I thought that you and Steve and Sam have some sort of fitness club?” You walk over to him, giving him a small smile before passing him on your way to the weights section. He shakes his head with a low chuckle and follows you,

Not because he was - like- following you. But because he was going to warm up with some lifting anyway.

You plop down on one of the leg lifts “You an insomniac like me?”

“Somethin’ like that. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep and figured somethin’ the same” Bucky goes over and lays out flat on one of the work benches, adjusting the weights.

“Hmm great minds think alike then” You croon. You hadn’t really gotten the chance to get to know him yet. Yeah, the two of you had talked in passing. At dinner. When you we’re messing with Steve. But never alone like this.

Damn. Did he look GOOD in those gray sweatpants.

“They do. How long have you been here” Bucky inquires as he grabs onto the weight bar and begins to lift. It’s nothing major. Not to him. Just three hundred pounds- on each side.

You watch him with wonder at the ease his arms move with.

You know its weird, but its hot seeing someone being able to bench that much with little effort…you wonder how easily he’d be able to bench you…

“Like an hour?” You answer him, tearing your eyes away from him.

Huh, he thinks. You’d been working out like that on the elliptical for an hour? You didn’t even look that winded.

“You work out a lot?” He feels like an idiot the moment it comes out of his mouth and your laughter doesn’t make it any better.

“What are you trying to say, huh?” You’re not mad, mostly just seizing the opportunity to tease him.

“Nothing! I just meant that you- uh- looked good up there. Like you don’t even look tired” He tries to unjumble his words, feeling like a total fucking bozo all the way.

“Yeah? Thanks. I spent the summer sight seeing in Europe which meant hiking like everywhere. I sweat I climbed like a gazillion steps. I guess it strengthened my core”

“Where in Europe did you go exactly?” He decides to go with a safer topic. Hoping he wont continue to make a total ass out of himself. He’d happened to have done his fair share of hiking that continent.

“All over but I mostly Italy. I spent a few weeks in Greece though, those we’re my favorite” You sound wistful. And that’s how it starts.

Bucky used to be able to spark up a conversation with just about anyone. Back before- back when he was younger, he could keep a conversation flowing like no one’s business. Steve had always idolized the way the people just seemed to like the guy. But it had been hard to get back to that now. Yeah, he wasn’t nearly as quiet as he’d been back in Romania, but he still didn’t talk. For hours. With near strangers.

Which is why he’s surprised he’s able to with you.

The conversation was bubbling, like a brook, ebbing and lively. He found himself wanting, almost needing to hear your little stories and opinions and jokes. You’d both abandoned working out and just sat on the machines, laughing and talking.

He learned that you liked to tease- a lot. Nearly everything was a joke with you. Your sense of humor sharp and sarcastic. Your nature playful and inviting.

You tell him stories from Europe and then about the tower and being here when you we’re younger with Tony. And in turn, surprisingly, he tells you a couple of his own stories back. A couple that he could actually remember. What it was like living in Romania- not knowing a lick of the language before hand. How fucking awkward he still felt as he adjusted to the 21st century.

“So lets get this straight, you’ve been de-iced for almost three years and you haven’t watched Harry Potter?” Your tone is dead serious and he grins and shakes his head.

“Nah”

“Or Lord of the Rings?”

“Negative”

“Or Star Wars?”

“Is that the one with the little green guy?”

“Yes!”

“I caught a little of it when Tony was watchin’ it”

“Oh my god, Bucky. I can’t. This is fucking blasphemous. I mean Lord of the Rings and Star Wars I guess could wait, I GUESS…But Harry Potter?! Harry Potter is the best thing this generation has to give! It will change your life!” The pure passion in your voice is almost palpable. Why cant he stop smiling?

“I guess I’ve been really missing out, haven’t I?”

“Yes! You have! Ugh, okay we’re going to have to have a movie night ASAP. It is just unacceptable for us to be living under the same roof and you haven’t seen a single Harry Potter movie” He thinks your kidding but your really not.

You don’t play about Potter, okay?!

When you check your phone and see the time your eyes bulge a little. You’d been sitting talking to him for nearly three hours.

“Oh shit, is it really almost seven?” You cant believe it. It really didn’t feel like you’d been here for that long.

“Is it?” Bucky sits up a little, not believing it either.

“Yeah” You bite you lip as you look at him for a moment, before standing “I should probably go and see if I can get any sleep at all”

He masks the small disappointment he feels at your words “Of course”

“It was really cool talking to you. I’m serious about our marathon! I have to school you on the most important stuff” You’re voice is flirty. As fuck. You don’t even know if you mean for it to be as you look down at him. He tries to tear his eyes from your face- and fails. Twice. Before he’s able to.

“Yeah uh, just tell me when”

“Definitely. Goodnight Bucky…or I guess Morning?” You giggle on your way out. He watches your retreating figure until your out of sight before he lets out huff and reclines hardly back. The machine sighs in protest. He fixes his eyes on the ceiling as he deals with the stirring in his head. The one though he can clearly decipher is…

Fuck.

Because although he’d liked having Tony not at his throat, he doesn’t see how he’s going to be able to stay away from you. No wonder Steve had gotten caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

—–

So I just had to pump out another part for you guys! I hope you like it! Tell me what you think? Do you like the dynamic between them yet? Does Y/N just seem like a little hoe? Do you want to be tagged. Tell me ya'lllllllllll.

@devenrenee @skeletoresinthebasement @kendallefire @mellifluousbabe @toniinhere @agentmstark @purplekitten30 @bellaballanda @yslbucky @arabellaaurorabarnes @prinxessofspace @supernaturally-lucky @sngforme @kyritha

[journal-of-j34n31]

wednesday, august 30 2017

5:10 AM;

i want to first start by saying that i’ve been meaning to write on this page again but with all the things going on in my life and its hectic ways. i’ve been slumping before i could even get a chance to get on here. the way i am going to set this post up is put the date and redo the set of events in my head as if it were the time and place and whatnot. however, i am only going to go back to friday because that was the start of all the craziness that has been going on. so let’s get to it, shall we? ;)

friday, august 25 2017

i woke up this morning and got ready for a looong ass day. i had had to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to commute to pal and get there by 6:45 AM. when i got there, we did our regular softball warmups. when coach arrived, we did sprints/plank/rests. after making our way to the weight room, we did bar lunges, russian twists, pull ups, push ups, medicine ball etc. let’s just say they were pushing me way too motherfucking hard, but i didn't mind. wait, there's more. that workout is not even close to being done. once weight room training ended, we made our way to the softball fields for actual practice. i ended up having to kill time before my math class so i hung around. i got out of math at 1:05 pm and made my way to meryssa’s house. she was kind enough to let me shower so i don’t travel to san deign all sweaty and stinky. it was fun talking to her and catching up in person. it was her last weekday before she started school. i finished getting ready and said a little see ya later type goodbye. i was now getting to the exciting part about my day. i don't remember what time i left, but i do know that around an hour (maybe more) of traffic later i finally arrived at my baby's school. sdsu. he had gotten there around 11/12 with his momma and they got settled into his dorm room. they finished by the time i got there so we went to go grab some panda. his mom left on our way back to the dorm room and it was me, my baby, france, as, and their roommates. we were just talking and chilling before they had their little floor meeting with their RA’s. me and as decided to go to ak’s bomb ass apartments literally the next street over. she lives not even 5 min from the school. as we were debating what the movements were and ak was showing, i get a text from my baby saying him and france went to the little night event thing the school holds as a welcoming night typa thing and to come back to the school to see them again. we made our way back to the campus and picked up char at the dorm building. paul texted us about a little frat party that we should make the movements to. we all walked to starbucks thinking we were gonna meet her and her friends there but once we hella walked over there, they were already at the party. while we were figuring out what to do, sooo many guys kept looking or talking to us. brazy. so we busted another mission to try and find that far ass place. during the time were were walking the streets, the guys were following our location. to be honest the girls were annoyed with the boys and vice versa. they were complaining we were still walking there while they were trying to catch up. antyways, we ended up meeting and made our way to the party. the second we got there the guy was telling everyone to leave as char and ak snuck right on in. as we turned around to walk back to the dorms, i remembered ak had my keys in her bag. so when they came out, they asked if we wanted to go inside even if it were for a little and i said sure why not. walking in there was so weird, there were so many boys and people in general and that would definitely be my type of scene if i went to state and was single. but i’m not complaining, i’m lucky i got my mans. we all decided to head back to the dorms except for ak and char. because everyone had to check in and i didn't go there, i needed my license that happened to be in the car. the 4 of us busted a mission to the car to go grab it and headed back. we ended up finding out the overnight policies and rules which got me excited. we were all chillen in my baby’s dorm. me and my baby on his bed and france and as on the abandoned bed above angel’s. we were all so exhausted, i ended up checking how much i walked and it turns out it was like 8. something miles. at about 12:45 as asked me what time we were leaving and i told her 1 am. we all ended up crashing and woke up at 1:01. we dipped and the drive home was... interesting. i wasn’t really tired but i couldn’t see the roads, like i they were going towards each other. halfway through the drive, as took over. when i got home, i took a shower and got ready for bed. i had to wake up the next morning by 5:45 to start getting ready and it was already 3:00 AM. i was thinking about pulling an allnighter but i ended up falling asleep. 

saturday, august 26 2017

i ended up waking up at about 7:30 or so because my phone died in the middle of the night and my alarms couldn’t go off. i was freaking out because i had to be at ae’s house by 8:30, meaning i would have to leave at 8:15, and i didn’t want to be late. i tried telling ae that i’ll just drive myself but he told me to try and make it so i wouldn’t have to. i just did my eyebrows, daily routine, and got dressed. i wanted to do my makeup, hair, etc. i ended up leaving at 8:20 and got there exactly at 8:30. when i got there, the door was open for me so i walked right inside and saw his mom/sister’s boyfriend. they were still getting ready. but it’s okay because at least i was already there and not worrying about making them late. after talking to his family, we started making our way at around 9. i was able to talk to dais in the car and she was telling me all about her boy problems and whatnot. when we finally made it to the school, we parked and walked up a whole bunch of stairs. it was worth it because at the top of it was my babyyy. we all made our way inside as the people at the school gave me and his family a pin and gave him a special pin. the ceremony was nothing too crazy, it was just a whole bunch of speakers talking in relation to school and introducing the professors for each major. when the ceremony was over, we walked back up those crazy amount of stairs and took pictures outside. i loved seeing all his family there at once, both sets of parents, both sisters. it was good that we were able to all come out together and celebrate my baby and his accomplishments/future home. we walked back to the dorm room to show his family where he will be living for the next school year. we walked them out and went back to his room. me, him, and aj walked over to the habit, busting a mission i must say, and had some lunch because we all barely ate. by the time we got back, so did as and france. we all chilled in the room, each in our own bed plus the couples, and ended up taking a nap. the guys all got up because they had to head to their meeting, however, me and as were slumped af. i got up in the middle of my sleep and no one had came back yet. i had to pee sooooo bad but i didn't want to have to wake up as to come with me. i was teeing my baby and he told me to go head to the bathroom. as i was walking down the hallway, i see the room they are all in, keep in mind the room was surrounded by glass, and the next thing i know i got a bunch of people staring at me. i started to speed walk into the bathroom and i didn’t know what to do when i was finished. i didn’t want people looking at me again because it made me uncomfortable. when i walked back, i just made no eye contact or even looked in that direction. the second i get back to my room the guys ended up coming back not even 5 minutes later. we all talked for a little bit and then grabbed our things to head back home for the boxing fight. before the actual drive home, they wanted to stop for boba. we finally got to ae’s some time afterwards. when we got there, everyone was there pre partying and whatnot. we walked inside and dais and her friends were everywhere, along with bhris. ae ended up leaving and so did france and aj. that whole night was craaazy man. we were dancing, drinking, ae even got high off a wax pen. i don’t quite remember the chronological way thing happened so i’m just going to say the events i remember. me and bhris and poncho were drinking jungle juice at the same time dais pulled up with a sparking strawberry margarita, which was bomb as shittt, and everyone else ended up getting one but me because they were all out. i called ae close to me and gave him a hug and bhris was sitting next to us. he looks over at dais and everyone else and was like “you see that? i fucking hate them, they’re fucking goals.” i thought that was so cute. ae was running all over the place entertaining everyone so i was kinda just there. my family came, too. when we were watching the fight, everyone was so into it, i was too but more less because i didn't want mcg to lose, to the point where ae told me to stop talking to him. so you know what i did the entire fight? you guessed it ;) stopped talking to him. after the crazy fight, my family was going to leave. my mom was drunk and dancing and she didn’t want to leave, but we all know how my sister is. EVERYONE kept saying how much they LOVE my mom. carl, his mom, his sister’s bf. they ended up leaving as we came back inside. dais and her friends were playing music, and we were jamming. i was at the table with dais when deepthroat came on and then his older sister looked at me like :o and i was like :o and then we started laughing. my neck, my back, and once upon a time not long ago came on after. mannn was i singing those songs, especially towards my baby. chris ended up taking like 5 shots of bacardi and poncho took some too. chris also ended up telling ae how much he is going to miss him and doesn't want him to leave and this and that. they went to the couch by the front door and did a major group hug which i thought was so cute. they ended up crying! i was hiking everywhere with dais and her friends and most f the time they were shocked at how much and how well i threw it back and when i looked at ae, he was shaking his head. we ended up yiking together and everyone went crazy and gassing me up and everything. even his older sister. we played you're a jerk and my baby was jerking and pin dropping, all which i got on snapchat BUT THEN MY PHONE DIED BEFORE I CAN SAFE IT. boof, right? i was continuing the little dancing and ae went outside with his sister’s bf. that was when he was doing the wax pen. chris came up to me and was like have you and ae said “i love you” to each other yet. i said no, and then he proceeded to say “do you love him?”. i just sat and laughed a little bit. i told him the time i said it but he didn’t and he got mad. he said “want me to go talk to him?” i said it was fine and we’ll talk about it ourselves. i was sitting at the table and he comes up to me. (side note: i told him i missed him a while ago and he just did a little laugh thing and said “i’m right here”, so i ended up saying “fine then, i won’t say it anymore.”) i told him i missed him and then never mind i said i wasn’t gonna say it anymore and he was like “oooh, oookay” and i told him every time i say it he just says ok or don’t miss me so there’s no point in saying it anymore. he took me into the other room, the couch by the front door, and had me lay next to him. he began to say “whenever you say you miss me it get’s me really sad and i start thinking about how i’m actually going to miss you when i’m not with you” and that was the end of it. he started CRYINGGG man. it was heartbreaking, actually. we talked a little bit more about going to have to stay strong for each other while we’re away. when we finished it was around 2:30 AM. he told me that we should stay there and rest a little before we head back to everyone. me and him fell asleep on the couch and i could feel myself waking up in the middle of my nap to readjust myself a few times because i kept getting uncomfortable. his step dad ended up waking us up at around 3 AM. he asked me if i was spending the night. i said no, it’s okay because the whole day ae kept telling me he doesn’t know. (side note: i hate it when i know he wants to say something but he ends up saying something else. like when he says idk or yes you can tell that deep down he wants to say no or give some other reason to say no. you’ll see what i mean later on.) then he told me “no, you are not driving home this late. come on, come upstairs you can sleep in the loft.” me and ae walked upstairs and say dais and the other girl by their bathroom. we peeked inside ae’s room and say chris in his bed and poncho slumped and spread out on ae’s. dais looked at me and asked if i wanted anything to wear. i told her it was fine and she said “you’re going to sleep in THAAAT?!” and pulled on my jean shorts. hahaha, she’s funny man. we walked into the loft and she came back and was like “here you can change into these” i changed. then, me and ae laid on the blankets that were set up on the floor. she looks at us and was like “you guys don’t want another pillow?” i said nooo, it’s okay. she comes back with a pillow for us. then as we were about to fall asleep she was like “you guys aren’t gonna use a blanket?” we said no, it’s okay. she ends up taking the blanket and spreading it onto of us. i said thanks mom and she walked back to her room and that was the end of that. 

sunday, august 27 2017

i was awaken at about 7 AM by ae. he said “do you want to just go in my room and sleep? i said sure. we went back to his room and laid down for a little bit. he ended up wanting to get wild man, and his bro was right next to us. got me ded af, lmaooo. we went downstairs and his sister, sister’s bf, and the little kids were running around. the girl, whose name i am unsure of, told us my baby’s mom walked upstairs and saw us sleeping together on the floor. she said “he moves out one day and the next he’s already sleeping with her? i’m going to have a heart attack” HAHAHA aww. not much else happened that day, we had breakfast and said bye to everyone. we walked back upstairs and i fell asleep for a little bit longer. he mentioned how cute it was that i was drooling on his arm but it was okay because it was his baby :’) i’m fucking cryinggg. wait, no i’ll be crying in a little bit. one sec. so we were downstairs and his mom was packing him snacks and whatnot. he looks at me around 2:30 and asks if i want to head out, which has me hella confused because they’re not leaving until 3:00 so i was like ??? umm okay. we go outside and he looks at me and start crying all over again! i gave him a hug and was like omg baby what’s wrong? and he told me how much he was going to miss me. i reminded him that we can do it and it won't be bad. man, i didn't think i was going to cry because i kept looking at the silver lining of the whole situation but seeing him cry breaks my heart. HERE’S WHERE IT GETS HELLA INTERESTING. so i get in my car and he goes “there’s something i’ve been holding off saying...” and he tries to pull himself together. then proceeds to say “i love you” and then we both start crying! mannn, that was so unexpected, he got me. as i was about to leave after giving him a hug and a kiss, he looks at me while he was standing next to my car door and his face just starts crying again. i got out of the car and gave him one last hug and kiss before i had to go. i love this boy with all my heart and i can’t imaging living my life without him anymore. 

tuesday, august 29 2017

it was his first day of school on monday but other than that, not much happened. i got to school at 6:40 in time for weight room practice. i walked up to alina and told her that after the coach talked to us that monday and how nicole quit, i was considering it. i went to history, then i had a break. i went to my car, then to the locker room to shower, then back to my car, then to coach’s office to talk to her about tips and advice on how to get my way to sd state school, then to my lab class. we ended up being able to leave lab like two hours early. after my chem lecture i went to get gas. the only thing getting me through the day was that i would be able to finally see my baby after a long day apart hahaha. so i made my way down south. it took an hour or so much the end result was worth it. i parked at the top floor of the parking garage as he met me there. we went to his room and all the guys went to the gym to play basketball. we just laid there and whatnot ;) we were supposed to go out and eat with everyone but we couldn’t wait. we went to this mexican place next to the dorms. it was bombbb, too and the worker was nice. on our way back, he pulled me into a hug before reaching his door building. he told me “i feel like i don't say it enough, i love you” my heart got so happy. we got back into his room to go grab my things and i hugged him. i didn’t let go and i kept reminding him i don’t want to leave him. then, when we got back to my car and it got pretty serious. it started when i said “i don’t want to go to school tomorrow” and he asked why not. i then realized why. i told him it didn’t make me happy and i dread every night before i have to go to school the next day. it’s not school itself because i actually enjoy learning. it’s the fact that i have to wake up so early, commute in long/unpredictable traffic, not being able to just come home and relax but jump right into homework, then sleep early to repeat. it became too much. taking 21.5 units and trying to have a softball/social life on top of that? it’s not possible. especially with it being my first year of college. especially starting out at a junior college. if i want to transfer to a school i want, i have to work at a high gpa and get past all my competitors so i CAN leave. that is my goal and if softball if going to get in the way of that then i can’t have it. i put way too much on my shoulders and i couldn’t carry it all. i need time to myself, time to study, and if i were to play softball i would need time outside of practice to better myself. it was one of the hardest decisions, but my baby helped me out with a talk in the car and laid out the facts and reality of the situation. he told me he would support me 100% with whatever i decide. he is the whole reason i was able to be happier and confident with the way things in my life are starting to turn out. i’m becoming an adult. i can't just do whatever i want when i want. i have responsibilities now and i am responsible for myself. that means making sacrifices if i need to so that i can become a better me. i dropped him off infront of his dorm building and before he left me he said “i love you.” goddamn, just 3 words that keep me going everyday. i talked to mr and tt on my way home and they, too, helped me out a lot. i got home and told my parents about it then took my slumped ass to bed. 

well, as you can tell i had a pretty eventful weekend + some. it is currently 7:40 AM on friday, sept. 1. i want to continue this talk but i have decided i am going to start on my baby’s “open when” letters, as it is already a week late. hopefully i’ll be able to make it to my baby’s actual birthday. if not, earlier. peace.