#I ALWAYS FEEL SO BAD WHEN I START LOSING HYPERFIXATIONS😭���

[casperth3ghost]

guys how do you explain to your friends who have suffered for months hearing u yap about one specific character that youre losing intrest in said character

[shakingparadigm]

Hello it's the anon who said about the Ivan collar thing 😭. I come with some little brainrots.

Mizi sang "Black Sorrow" as a solo cover for unrequited love, with Sua being dead.

But the cover made me think. What if somehow Sua, in a way, is the Till to Mizi's Ivan. What if Sua, even if she loves Mizi back, never really fully indulged in it.

Specially in "My Clematis" where Mizi regarded Sua as a god, all I can imagine is Sua who always kept a perfect image in front of everyone including Mizi. Sua who never really showed her vulnerability to Mizi even though the other girl bared her entire heart. Just the idea that she somewhat kept a mask of pretend, letting Mizi be as blissful as it can be before the inevitable.

Aka tragic Yuri breaking my heart that Sua had to keep her own planned death a secret from her beloved because of one (and only) little selfish wish, which is to let Mizi live.

(Also sorry for spamming asks this frequently! I've been going through ALNST hyperfixations and your blog have a great humor.)

DONT EVER BE SORRY FOR SPAMMING ASKS! they make me really happy! Thank you so much! Sorry it takes me a while to answer them sometimes, my brains been pretty messy as of late, and I keep losing track of time.

That's a really interesting perspective to see it from. Regarding their relationship as a whole, I actually think it was the opposite. Sua only ever opened up to Mizi, and to everyone else she was timid and closed off. That was one of the reasons why their bond was so strong, they clung to each other. Sua retreats into herself, avoiding others in an attempt to protect her soft-hearted feelings, only sticking to Mizi because she loved and trusted her most. Mizi loved Sua like a dog because she was a cure for her loneliness back when Mizi felt isolated and afraid of being away from her home. They gave each other everything, which is why the thought of Mizi dying filled Sua with so much anguish that she'd rather die herself.

But if we're talking about the few weeks leading up to the first round of ALNST (you probably meant this, my bad) then definitely. She spent the last of her life counting down the hours, putting on a brave face and trying to make the remainder of her time with Mizi the best it could possibly be. I assume it was Mizi that proposed a tie. Sua played along, or maybe even believed in it at first, because ALIEN STAGE was something that they both looked forward to their whole lives, something that was held over their heads like a reward instead of the death sentence it actually was. Sua most likely started planning her death after she realized the possible consequences. The thing is, according to the MiziSua interview, a tie had never happened before in ALIEN STAGE. Which means that we don't know what happens if a tie actually does occur. It seems unlikely that ALIEN STAGE, which derives its stakes from the deaths of the contestants, would let both go forward thanks to a tie. I mean, if that happened, then everyone else would just decide to tie in order to keep each other alive, and where's the fun in a deathless season? Where's the stakes in that? It goes against everything ALIEN STAGE is built on. If a tie did happen, they most likely would have forced a situation where one of them would have to die anyway. It just lengthens the process and makes it more complicated. I like to think that, at some point, Sua realized this. If they tie, there's no guarantee that they both stay alive. In a tie situation, they might even randomly pick the contestant to be eliminated. The circumstances are uncertain and unpredictable, and within those hypotheticals Mizi dying is always an option. But if Sua adjusts her own performance level without Mizi knowing, she can ensure that the only person who has to die is herself. As stated before, Sua is soft-hearted. Her blank demeanor is indeed a mask for overwhelming feelings that lie beneath the surface. Mizi worships Sua, but Sua loves Mizi an incredible amount too. She must have loved her so much that Ivan, an exceedingly observant asshole (affectionate), picked up on it and was able to discern her intentions. Ivan criticizes Sua for choosing to sacrifice herself, calling her out for "playing hero", but most importantly, accusing her of dying only because she herself cannot handle the pain of losing someone she loves. She cannot fathom living a life where Mizi is dead, so she "runs away" from it by any means possible. He accuses her of being a hypocrite because the future that pains her to think about is one that she is about to inflict on her beloved. Is it an act of love or an act of selfishness? Is Ivan twisting her genuinely pure intentions and chastising her into believing that it makes her a bad person? Despite being hit with this crisis and crying over it, Sua decides to sacrifice herself anyway. And her happy mask was so impressive that Mizi failed to notice she was digging her own grave.

Sua not "indulging" in her love for Mizi is actually really interesting, and I can see how it can come off that way because Mizi is much more affectionate. But I actually think otherwise!

I think it's not really that she refused to indulge in her love, rather she indulged in it so much that she died to ensure she'd never have to live without it.

[lilac-melody]

Listening to lipxlip honestly makes me really happy

I don’t think people realize that I literally started to actually learn Japanese and write so much more than I had before because of them 😭

Before I got into lipxlip, back in early 2020 (as I got into them around late April of 2020) I was trying to find something that brought me a lot of joy. I fandom-hopped a lot, and even when I stayed in a fandom for a long time (like dgr or utapri), it still didn’t bring me all that much serotonin. Sure, I was hyperfixated, but I didn’t really spend money on merch or anything.

Not to mention, my music tastes kept changing, so finding songs to vibe to was always tricky. 

I was actually losing interest in everything because of a really bad depressive episode.

And then my (ex) friend got me into lipxlip (though at the time I had told her to get into Tsukiuta in exchange but she never did lol). I liked them. I was decently content.

But I honestly thought that I would never be able to get into the fandom because there was so much about Honeyworks that I didn’t understand.

But I kept learning more, and I saw some popular blogs on here and I was just !!! wow. 

And eventually, the Romeo novel was released, and I really wanted to learn more, so I ended up starting to self-teach Japanese. Hence the eventual translation of the novel. It helped me grasp some concepts better, but I was still pretty shaky. I’m not gonna lie, my tls are pretty shaky still. But they are better than before. I understand more than before.

And while you don’t have to know a lot about your interest to have fun with it, I’ve had a lot of fun learning more and being able to provide not just my own creative content, but being able to provide canon content for the people who are interested.

I still have really bad depressive episodes, but I now have something to fall back on. Something that makes me really smile and enjoy.

And not to mention how relatable the characters of lipxlip and even mona are. It’s honestly really helped me.

That’s why I continue to translate even when it gets stressful, because the end result feels well worth it.

(Also Julietta still makes me stupidly happy)