#I ACCIDENTALLY REBLOGGED THIS TO MY MAIN TWICE. GOD

[miabebe]

Accidentally Kidnapping A Mafia Boss (Yoon Jeonghan)

Reverse Trope Series Installment 2

Pairing - Yoon Jeonghan x afab!reader

Word Count - 70K 29K (please congratulate me, cutting down was the hardest thing I've ever done)

Genre - Strangers to something more I guess? Minimal crack (I had to choose between humour and sexual tension - it was painful, like choosing a favourite child), angst (just a small splash) and smut (loads of it, warnings under the cut)

Warnings - mentions of kidnapping and mafia, one scene where hands are thrown (But just to be clear, this is not like your usual mafia fics - it’s not dark or violent), mention of dub-con in OC's past

A/n -Those who are up to date with the teasers can jump directly for day 1 I guess! Anyways, this fic should have been a whole ass series, it was such a task finishing it in under 30K phew. I hope you enjoy this roller coaster - your comments, reblogs and tags are all very very appreciated! I shall put out an announcement when the next Reverse Trope installment is coming - for now, its time for Camp Seventeen!

Smut warnings - there's a bunch of call girls, masturbation-almost?, voyeurism, multiple smut scenes (3 or 4 idk), exhibitionism (nobody saw them though), fingering, oral (f receiving), protected sex, unprotected sex (please don't be stupid like them), multiple orgasms, oral (male receiving), okay I hope we're done

"You're being a real pain in my ass right now."  "I don't see how it’s an issue since that’s not much of an ass."  Seokmin glared at Seungkwan. "Just because some stupid college club awarded you a silly superlative-" "-best bakery in town is not a ‘silly’ superlative-" "-like once-" "-twice. In a row-"  "-doesn't mean-"  "-absolutely does-"  "Will you two shut up?" You hissed under your breath looking around. "Are you trying to get us all caught?"  Seungkwan clicked his tongue annoyed. "You're acting like we're in the middle of a crime."  Your eyes flickered from Seokmin to Seungkwan before landing on the third guy in between them, the one who was unconscious and being held up with his arms thrown over the shoulders of his friends.  "Last I checked, kidnapping is a crime." You pointed out. Seokmin rolled his eyes. "Prank-ing your friend isn't." "That is if Soonyoung decides he wants to save your sorry ass." "Again, not much of an ass-"  "I swear to god Kwan-"  Groaning you covered your ears to shut out all the bickering.  That night when drunk Soonyoung had pushed your buttons, consequently leading to the events of tonight, you did not think it would be this hard. 

The plan was simple - on Mondays, Soonyoung was in charge of closing the BBQ shop where all 3 of your closest friends worked. His routine was fairly straightforward - first he clears and cleans all the tables, then he closes the kitchen, then changes out of his uniform and finally wraps it up by locking the main door.  That's where you would get him, right as he closed the doors. You were to take him by surprise from the back, cover his face with a black cloth bag, bring him to your apartment and tie him up leaving him immobile, blinded and helpless.  One might wonder why such cruelty when you called him a friend but you would argue that Soonyoung deserved it. After all, last night he hadn't stopped mentioning how boring you were and how your life was so uninteresting and how you didn't have a single exciting adventure while he had a shit ton of them. Well, today you were about to give yourself, and him, a story to tell.

Now things did go according to plan, for the most part. Seokmin and Seungkwan were first reluctant to be a part of this madness but that was until you brought up the prospect of Soonyoung being scared enough to hopefully piss in his pants. Intrigued by the idea, they joined and all three of you waited in the bushes, watching your friend's silhouette moving around the shop, putting things away, cleaning up. Just as he reappeared after changing, hurriedly trying to leave the shop, the three of you got to action, approaching him silently from the back, swiftly holding him by the hands and putting the bag over his face.  What you didn't take into account in this plan was just how much resistance Soonyoung would show, God knows why you didn't consider his adrenaline driven reaction, but man did he put up a fight. It was only natural you retaliate and so instinctively, you landed a smack on his head with the torch in your hand knocking him out, making him buckle into the pavement as the two other boys caught him, looking at you bewildered. That was perhaps just the beginning of your problems because now you had to very un-suspiciously drag a very unconscious man to your apartment in the dead of the night. It would have helped if this neighbourhood was even a little sketchy but being a quiet, painfully uneventful suburb meant even the smallest of things was seen with high scrutiny.  So far, the three of you had somehow managed to make it from the restaurant to your building undetected but it was getting from the first floor to your house that was the real task since the building's resident old woman decided she wanted to feed the stray cats at 2 am. 

"How much longer are we gonna have to do this?" Seungkwan groaned. "He's surprisingly not that heavy but my arm is starting to sleep." "Yeah, this joke isn't as funny anymore-"  "Will you two just keep quiet?" You turned to them annoyed. "She'll be gone in a few minutes and then we can move. Didn't you two say you wanted Soonyoung to shut up for a few days?”  Seokmin mumbled a yes under his breath while Seungkwan nodded hesitating. Hoping for some silence after this, you turned to watch the old woman stroking the cat softly as it slowly nibbled its food. Although your patience was really being tested, something told you if you didn't go through this plan, in another 40 years, you'd be exactly like that old lady - lonely, boring and feeding stray cats. Terrified by that thought, you held it together even though it took a whole 15 minutes for the scene to clear. As the three, no four of you, proceeded towards your apartment, the stray cat watched, licking its paw. 

Seungkwan and Seokmin groaned in relief as they half threw Soonyoung onto the chair you pulled to the middle, rubbing their aching shoulders. Scouring the drawers, you pulled out a rope with a soft “aha” making them turn towards your unnaturally happy self. Soonyoung stirred in his chair. “You're a little too excited about this-”  “Shhh!” You covered Seokmin's mouth with your hand, whispering. “If you talk, he'll know it's us, then it's not scary anymore.” “Frankly, I think the kidnapping and knocking him out cold must have been scary enough already.” “Not enough” You glared as Soonyoung let out a soft groan, letting you know he was coming around. “Quick, take out your phone and open one of those AI apps. We'll type what we want to say and use the bot voice - that way he'll have no idea.”  All three of you huddled, glancing at the phone as Seungkwan typed something quickly, pressing play to let the low toned automated voice echo through the room.  “I cannot wait to see Soonyoung shit his pants.” Seokmin giggled as your lips curled into a pleased smile. Oh, he was surely going to shit his pants.  “And why would I do that?” Soonyoung's voice sounded confused. “Because we-”  Seokmin looked up, freezing mid-sentence, noticing the voice did not come from the person before him.  All three of you exchanged looks realising the same before slowly turning around. Soonyoung  was standing at the entrance like he just walked in, looking bewildered.  Before any of you could process the situation, he pointed over your shoulders, frowning.

“And who's that?”

Oh. 

“And why is he wearing my clothes?” 

Oh no.

You turned back to see the man in question, slowly pull the black bag from over his head, shaking his golden tresses away from his face. Oh lord was he gorgeous.  As he blinked his eyes open, wondering where the hell he was, you were busy running your eyes all over his pretty features and suddenly, in that short span of 20 seconds, you had memorised where every single mole on his face was.  Seokmin and Seungkwan meanwhile, held your arms on either side half hiding behind you which was stupid considering you were the biggest coward in the room.  But somehow, as the man before you looked at all of you with narrowed, accusing eyes and tried to stand up, you swung your arm and smacked him right on the head with the torch again. All three boys gawked at you as the man fell back into the chair again, head rolling to the side, unconscious.  “What the hell mate-” “I'm sorry I panicked!” “Will someone tell me what's happening? Why is he wearing my clothes-” “Shut up Soonyoung.” Seungkwan turned to you looking terrified. “Do you have any idea what you've done?”  “Hey, this can't be just on me, we all thought it was Soonyoung-”  “Me???”  “-how is this only my fault-”  “Because!” Seungkwan raised his voice pointing a shaking finger. “The man you just knocked out again, that's…that's….” “That's…” Seokmin's eyes widened in realisation. “That's the city’s most infamous mafia boss, Yoon Jeonghan.” 

“They aren't picking up.” You sighed, pacing around the room. “Why aren't they picking up??” 

All three boys who were perched on the breakfast bar shrugged, continuing to munch on their chocolate bars.

“Y’all are awfully calm considering the mess we’ve landed in.” 

“The mess you landed us in.” Soonyoung, who had been filled about the situation, pointed out, licking his fingers. “If you hadn’t tried to pull that terrible prank on me-” 

“Okay Kwon, I don’t need this right now.” You rolled your eyes and Soonyoung made a mocking face before returning to his snack. Sighing, you dialed the number again, hoping for a response at least this time. 

“Voicemail. Again!” You squeezed your phone, nearly throwing it across the room, half screaming in frustration. The boys hissed, signaling you to shut up as you bit your tongue and turned towards the elephant in the room. 

Well, not a literal elephant, he was barely one sixteenth its size, the figurative elephant, Yoon Jeonghan. 

He still sat, unconscious and beautiful as ever, only his hands were now tied behind the chair, securing him in place. Seokmin insisted it was necessary considering this would be his second time attempting to try and escape. When you had expressed your confusion, Seungkwan pulled out his phone, flipped through his gallery and showed you a picture he had clicked in the city a few days ago - a poster with Jeonghan’s face on it, a text on the bottom. 

Dangerous criminal Yoon Jeonghan escaped from prison on the 15th of August. Please be cautious and if seen, call the number below. A reward of 20,000 dollars is offered for any incriminating information. 

The moment all of you finished reading, it was like a switch flipped. 

Soonyoung immediately secured Jeonghan's hands, Seokmin darkened the room, turning off all the lights and Seungkwan shut all the curtains, shoving his phone into your hands. You though, just stood frozen, watching all of them getting to work, unable to comprehend the situation. It was only when Seungkwan shook you physically telling you to call that number that you finally came to your senses, quickly dialing it. 

Since then, it had been over an hour and you had called almost 48 times unsuccessfully, much to your frustration but not so much to the boys. They simply continued to raid your snack drawer, chattering away in hushed whispers. You on the other hand wanted to pull your hair out. 

“Why do you look so distressed hon?” Soonyoung looked at you, worried.

“Why?” You raised your eyebrows. “Why?? Can you not see why? Do you not understand how risky it is keeping him here-” You shot the unconscious man a glance, whispering. “What if he wakes up?” 

“Then you knock him out again.” Seungkwan chuckled. “This is not a joke you guys.” You tried to be heard above all the reenacting and laughing. “I get that the 20k offer looks enticing but should we take a risk this big-” 

“You think this is about the money?” Seokmin looked at you almost offended. “He’s a criminal Y/n, handing him over to the cops is doing what’s right! That’s our duty as responsible citizens-” 

“Well this can’t be the only way to go about it? I’m sure there are other ways-” 

“Like what?” Seungkwan frowned curiously. 

“I don’t know.” You bit your lower lip, turning to Jeonghan, hands shaking nervously. “We could go out there and find a cop-” 

“When was the last time you even saw a cop in this vicinity?” Soonyoung raised an amused eyebrow.

“Fine, then we’ll take him to the nearest police station?” 

“That’s almost twenty five miles from here.” Soonyoung pointed out. “What if on the way he becomes un-unconscious-” 

“Conscious.” 

“-then wouldn’t we be in more danger?” 

Sighing, you buried your face in your hands, shaking your head. “Oh god, how did we get ourselves stuck in a situation this terrible-.” 

“Oh come on, it's not so bad.” Seungkwan clicked his tongue. “It's not like we're committing a crime, in fact we are doing the complete opposite of it, you should be proud of us.” 

“I prefer my sanity over pride please, thank you.” 

Soonyoung clapped his hand. “So let's get you your vanity back-”  

“Sanity.” 

“-the more we try to call that number, the sooner we manage to contact the cops and before you know it, he'll be gone and all of this will be over.”

Sighing, you handed the phone to him, gesturing that he try now, sick of hearing the voicemail message over and over again. No sooner after he reached for it, a loud ringtone began echoing in the room making all of you jump cause a. it was really loud and b. it was not coming from this phone…..

All four of you exchanged looks turning to the source of the sound - the pocket on the inside of Jeonghan’s jacket. 

Noticing how Jeonghan was starting to slightly stir, Seungkwan quickly moved closer to him, pulling out his phone, fingers moving swiftly to mute. As it continued to vibrate in his hand, the rest of you gathered around, looking at the screen over his shoulder - Assistant 1, annoying, do not pick up. But before any of you had to make the executive decision whether or not to lift the phone, thank god for the timing, the call ended, allowing you all to take a sigh of relief. 

Trying to catch your breath again, just as you almost moved back to your original position, it rang again, somehow even more loudly this time and like an idiot in his hurry, Seungkwan accidentally lifted the call, making you gasp and almost scream. 

“No, don’t-” 

“Boss.” Though it was barely audible, he sounded exasperated. “Please tell me you’re not with a girl.” 

As Seungkwan put the call on speaker, the boys looked at you, signaling you to talk. Looking lost, you stuttered. “I uh…yes, he’s with me.” 

“Of course he is.” His voice boomed in the room. “I need to talk to him.” 

You hesitated, looking at Jeonghan still sitting slumped. “I’m afraid he can’t come to the phone right now.” 

“And why not?” 

“Cause he’s tied up?” You shook your head fast, when your friends looked at you wide eyed - now was not the time for truths??? “I mean he’s tied up with some work-” 

“Oh please, there’s no need to cover up.” The man sounded amused. “I always had a feeling that this was one of his kinks.” 

You looked at the screen mortified. Did he just say kinks? “I’m sorry what???” 

“No, I’m sorry you’re stuck with that sadist of a man. If you’re free after you’re done with him, I assure you, I could show you a much better time.” 

Gasping inaudibly, you felt the heat in your cheeks rising. “I’m not a…. no, god no. He’s tied up as in, unconscious and tied up. Kidnapped, unconscious and tied up.” 

The boys’ jaws dropped in disbelief. What the hell were you blabbering? 

“Did you just say you kidnapped him?” 

Hands shivering you tried to shove the phone into someone else's hands, only for all of them to quite literally run away. 

“Woman, I’m asking you something. Did you just say you kidnapped Jeonghan? The Yoon Jeonghan?” He paused, as you moved, standing in front of the man in question, watching him carefully. “Do you even know who he is?” 

“I….yes.” You sighed, sweat rolling down your forehead. “Yes I know who he is and look, it's a long story that I can’t explain right now and I’m sorry you had to find out this way but I’m calling the cops and handing him over tonight.”

“You called me to tell me that you were handing him to the cops?” 

“Actually you called-”  

“And for what? That measly twenty k?” He scoffed. “I know what you’re doing here - I’ll give you thirty in exchange for him.” 

And suddenly, all the boys were around the phone. 

“No thank you.” You shook your head. “This isn’t about the money, it’s about doing the right thing and that is to hand him over-” 

“Wow you’re really playing that card?” He sighed. “Fine, I’ll give you fifty.” 

At this point, Seungkwan lunged for his phone, narrowly missing it as you swiftly moved your hand away, surprised. 

“Seventy five?” 

Seokmin tried to reach for it too, but you were too quick for him too, moving away, looking at them incredulously. What the hell were they doing now? 

“Final offer, a hundred thousand or I have other ways-” 

“Done.” Soonyoung, the nimblest of them all, quickly grabbed the phone from your hands talking into it. “Hundred thousand and he’s yours.” 

“Kwon-” 

Seokmin covered your mouth, holding you back. “We want it in cash.” 

“That might be an issue-” The man on the phone let out a tired breath. “-things are tight now, cash will be hard.” 

“It’s cash or he goes to the cops.” Seokmin continued, still holding you back with his strong arms, rendering your struggles pointless.

The line went quiet on the other side. The boys look at each other, worried. 

“Fine.” He finally agreed as they sighed in relief. “But I’ll need about ten days to arrange for it.” 

“We are in no hurry.” Seungkwan added. “Whenever you send the cash, we’ll send him.” 

“And till then?” 

“Till then, he’ll be here, with us.” Soonyoung confirmed, earning a protest from you that drowned out. 

“I hope you remember that the cops are actively looking for him-” 

“We do. Which is why you need to make sure the money reaches us by the tenth day.” Seungkwan pointed out. “Otherwise you know where he’s going.” 

“No don’t….” The man sighed. “There’s no need to make such hasty decisions, you’ll get your money.” 

“Good, keep in touch on this number and let us know when you have the cash ready and….that's all, okay bye.” 

Seungkwan spoke quickly before he cut the call and all the boys looked at each other amazed. When Seokmin finally released you, he shrieked as you landed a few harmless punches on him, hard and fast.

“Are you insane???” You looked around. “Are all of you insane?” 

“Hon,” Soonyoung held you by the shoulders, shaking them. “It’s a hundred thousand dollars-” 

“I thought it was not about the money.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I thought you wanted to be a responsible citizen-” 

“Oh please it’s always about the money.” Seokmin walked over and fell back onto the couch. “A hundred thousand dollars, wow, I’ve never even heard of so much money in my life.”

“Can’t believe I’m going to be a millionaire.” Soonyoung joined him on, earning an eye roll from you. 

“How exactly?” You crossed your arms. “It’s twenty five thousand dollars a person.” 

“So you are agreeing to be a part of it!” Seungkwan clapped happily, ignoring your words of protest. “We’re all going to be so rich.” 

“Twenty five thousand dollars isn’t exactly a fortune-” 

“It might not be for you, but not all of us have dropped out of college and are running our own freelance business from the comfort of our grandmother’s apartment.” Seokmin pointed out. “We could really use the money.” 

“That’s fair but-” 

“No ‘buts’ now.” Seungkwan raised his hand to stop you. “Come on Y/n, do this for us? All we ask is for ten days. Don’t you remember when you moved to this locality, we were the only ones there for you? For 2 whole years we’ve been with you through thick and thin-” 

Thud.

Seungkwan stuttered to a stop, turning around at the sound. The rest of you shifted around too to see what happened, heartbeat rapidly rising when you realized that Jeonghan was stirring awake..... and more importantly, the knot that “believe me I'm an expert” Soonyoung had tied around his hands had come undone, the rope falling to the floor. 

Wincing, Jeonghan opened his eyes slowly as all of you froze, watching the infamous mafia boss raise his head, blinking in the darkness. 

You panicked, noticing that your one and only weapon here, your trusty torchlight, was far from you, right by his foot. Wondering if it was dark enough, considering the room was only lit by the soft and minimal glow of the streetlights pouring in, you slowly inched towards Jeonghan who still seemed like he hadn't fully come around. Just as you reached him, bending to pick up the torch, Seungkwan, who was inching back to press himself against the wall and somehow blend into it, pressed against the switches, the lights instantly turning on, illuminating the whole room. 

Jeonghan slowly looked up, eyes meeting yours, lips parting softly. 

You opened your mouth to scream or say something, you can’t remember what exactly, instead resorting to just staring at the way his hair beautifully framed his face, long eyelashes touching the curve of his cheeks as he blinked. As you continued to remain frozen, his eyes ran over the features of your face, before his lips curled into a small smile.

“I love you.” 

You snapped out of your trance in a second, jaw dropping. 

“God I really love you.” He repeated, as you quickly grabbed the torch and moved back hurriedly and Seokmin, clearly your most sensible friend, quickly got up, putting himself between you and Jeonghan.

“What did he say?” Seokmin looked at you over his shoulder, mumbling. 

“You’re….” Seungkwan took a small, careful step. “You’re not mad?” 

“My head does hurt like a bitch.” Jeonghan cocked his head at you who was half hiding behind your biggest friend. “But I would have been more mad if I was in jail compared to waking up in….” He looked around again. “.....whatever this is.” 

“My house.” You muttered, gripping the torch as Soonyoung slowly and silently walked around, kicking the rope under the sofa, before he joined you, looking casual as ever.

“Yes, jail would be bad.” He agreed. “But here, you’re totally safe, no stress at all.” 

“And why exactly?” Jeonghan frowned, eyes flickering over all of you. “Obviously you know who I am. Why aren’t you handing me to the cops?” 

“That's um…because….” Seungkwan mumbled, putting his arm around your shoulder, with a firm nod. “Because of her uncle.” 

You blinked at him. 

You had no uncle. 

“M-mine?” 

“Yes, her uncle was….unfairly arrested by the cops last year, they sort of put him away for good so uh….helping you is, in a way, our revenge against this foul legal system.” 

Jeonghan didn’t look even a little convinced. Maybe just a little when he looked at you with an eyebrow raised in question and you hesitatingly nodded. 

“Okay, y’all are clearly a weird bunch but I'm not going to question it since whatever this is, it's helping me out.” He got up, wincing as he held his head. “and now I'll get going-” 

“No!” All three boys screamed, taking both Jeonghan and you aback, ears almost ringing. 

“We mean…” Seungkwan started at a much softer tone. “You can’t go out right now, it’s not safe for you.” 

“I am aware,” Jeonghan patted his pockets as though he was searching for something. “I need to call my people and find them in the city again. Once they arrange a way for me to permanently leave the country, I'll be safe, finally-” 

“You are safe here too.” Soonyoung quipped. “There’s no place better than this neighbourhood - it’s quiet, almost thirty miles from the city, filled with senior citizens who are absolutely cut off from the world - they probably don’t even know who you are.” 

“Most importantly,” Seokmin added. “Because this place is so dull, cops don’t even come here, hell the closest police station is over twenty five miles away.” 

“Huh” Jeonghan looked thoughtful, continuing to slide his hands into all his pockets one by one, mumbling. “I can't find my phone-” 

“It probably fell when you were running around-.” Seungkwan gripped the bulge in his back pocket where Jeonghan’s phone was tucked away. “-now that you can't contact your…gang? it'll be dangerous for you to go unguided.”

“Exactly.” Soonyoung stepped up. “Say you give it some time, maybe 10 ten days or so for things in the city to cool off a little and then you can go, find your people and leave the country?” 

Jeonghan started at the floor as though he was mulling over it, each passing second feeling like almost an hour.

Finally he looked up, slowly nodding, much to everyone's relief. “I guess I could?” He held the bump on his head again, wincing in pain. “First I'm gonna need a shower and a meal.” He looked at you, lips curling into a small smile. “Is knocking people out your only talent or can you whip up a ramyeon too?”

Tearing your eyes away from his intense gaze you mumbled that you could, earning a two finger salute from him before he disappeared behind the door of the bathroom. 

As all of four of you collectively let out a sigh of relief, Seungkwan shoved Jeonghan’s phone into your hands. 

“Keep this safe and keep him safe.” He looked around at everyone. “We need to continue making him feel as though living here for 10 days is good for him, not us.”

“Agreed.” Seokmin hummed. “He cannot, at any cost, know he’s being held for ransom. God knows what he might do then.” 

“I still can’t believe it though.” Soonyoung let out a low whistle, looking around almost proud. “I can’t believe we accidentally kidnapped a mafia boss.”

“Smells fucking good.” 

You bit back a gasp hearing Jeonghan’s voice from behind you, right at the shell of your ear as you stood behind the stove, stirring his meal. Gulping you turned, regretting it immediately when you found yourself inches away from him yet again but this time, he was standing in just his towel, blonde wet hair falling into his eyes, rivets of water running down his smooth abdomen. As your eyes found their way back up again, Jeonghan smirked at you. 

“Strange.” He cocked his head at you. “On one hand you seem so meek and quiet, yet no one has ever really looked at me the way you do.” 

Please don’t say things like that. 

Feeling unnaturally hot, perhaps because you were sandwiched between a boiling pot of noodles and a man this attractive, you turned away, turning off the gas, wiping the sweat running down your neck. 

Jeonghan chuckled. “I need something to wear. Think you got anything?” 

You nodded, setting the pot down, before moving away from him (thank god) and walking into your office room. Jeonghan followed at a distance, shaking off the water in his hair, looking around confused as he stepped in. 

“Aren’t you a bit too old to play dress up?” He pointed at the mannequin in the corner donning a pretty maroon half finished dress. 

“That’s…. My work.” You confessed, going through a stack of clothes in the drawers on the far end. 

“You made that?” 

You nodded softly. “Yeah I’m sort of a freelance fashion designer.” 

“For who, the dead?” He frowned. “Who even wears clothes like these anymore?” 

Trying not to get too offended, you pulled out the pair of pajamas you were looking for and turned to him. “It’s for the main lead of the new Macbeth play. I, uh, custom make clothes for theater productions and stage plays.” 

“Ah.” He nodded looking around at the large table filled with all kinds of measuring tapes and scissors and big shelves stacked with materials of all kinds, two sewing machines lined up against the wall. “Interesting.” 

You're not really sure what he found so fascinating but you cleared your throat, trying to change the topic. 

“I only have this that might fit you.” Walking over, you handed him a neatly folded purple checkered pajama set. “I made it for my…. for someone a few years back but he didn’t like the colour so it's brand new.” 

“I love purple.” Jeonghan grinned, taking it from you, immediately slipping on the shirt. “By someone else, do you mean one of the boys?”

You shook your head. “No, I never make clothes for them, my style is a bit too…. um old fashioned?” 

“You continue to surprise me.” He looked at you thoughtfully. “Old fashioned with clothes but open minded enough to live with three men.”

You blinked stupidly. “I don't live with three men.”

“Oh they don’t live here?” Jeonghan raised an eyebrow. “You four aren't a thing?” 

 “Four? As in all four of us??.….” You looked at him wide eyed and scandalized. “Of course not! How could you even think that, w-what does that even mean-” 

“Okay relax princess.” Jeonghan took a step back, raising his hands. “Even if you were, it’s cool. I don’t judge.” 

Definitely not relaxing, you looked everywhere but at him, heat continuing to rise uncomfortably in your body. 

Jeonghan looked at you amused, biting his lip. “But I will judge if you continue to stand here and watch me wear the pants.” 

Shaking your head and apologising, you practically ran out of there, heart racing in your chest as you leaned against the kitchen counter, hands gripping the edge. The kind of things he said, the way he looked….Please please please stop it. 

Trying your best to push him out of your mind, you got back to the stove, grabbing the pot and placing it on the table. You stared at it for a bit before sighing and pulling out a few of your mom’s sides from the fridge, adding it to his meal. As you poured out a glass of juice, Jeonghan walked up, rubbing his hands, pulling the chair and sitting down. 

“You put sides and all? Sweet.” 

He grabbed the pair of chopsticks and took a large bite, humming in relief. You knew it was burning hot, but he was probably way too hungry to care because the speed made it look like he was inhaling it. 

“Sit.” He looked up mid bite. “I don’t like eating alone.” 

Although you didn't wish to be in his presence for long, you sat down, unable to say no. The entire time, Jeonghan ate quietly, tasting all the sides, drinking the juice in between, loudly smacking his lips after every bite. After devouring it all in less than five minutes, he raised the bowl to his mouth, downing all the soup, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  “That was so delicious princess, I almost wanna stay here all my life.” He got up, stretching as he did. “But unfortunately 10 days is all we have.” 

Silently, you half nodded, gathering all the dishes he had left on the table, taking them to the sink. Jeonghan watched you, please stop looking at me, and when you returned to wipe the table, he leaned in, for the third time tonight, putting his face incredibly close to yours. “You’re a tough nut to crack, but I think I’ll have you all figured out in ten days.” As you tried to move further back, unable to breathe in the proximity, he moved closer, smirking. “Goodnight princess.” 

And with that he walked off, turning into your bedroom, closing the door behind him. 

You simply stared, rapidly blinking, heart refusing to calm down, chest heaving as you struggled to breathe.

And this was just day zero of ten. 

Day 1 of 10 

“Yoon Jeonghan has to go.” 

Soonyoung, Seungkwan and Seokmin looked up from their dinner as you slammed the restaurant door open. Immediately panicked and looking around, they pulled you to their table, shushing you with hushed voices. 

“What is wrong with you-” Seungkwan hissed as Seokmin went over to the only other people in the shop, the two old ladies sitting in the corner, trying to distract them with some free tea. “-you can’t go around screaming his name.” 

“You don’t understand.” Leaning back into the chair, you sighed. “I cannot be around him, I can’t handle it….” 

“What did he even do?” Soonyoung looked at you curiously and Seokmin returned, settling in his chair. 

And then you began to spill the details of all the events, starting from the moment he took over your bedroom last night. 

Yes you lived in a decently sized two bedroom house but with one room converted into your workspace and the other occupied by Jeonghan, you had no choice but to take the extremely uncomfortable couch in the living room. Of course you were already drifting in and out of sleep because of all the pain in your back and like that was not enough……

As though on cue, the lady who lived in the apartment above yours walked in, her pleasant expression turning almost disgusted as her eyes fell on you and you knew precisely why - because of all the obnoxiously loud moaning last night. 

Seokmin watched the two of you, eyes narrowing. “Why is she looking at you like that?” 

Voice shaking, you told them. 

“Wait wait wait.” Seungkwan interjected, jaw dropping. “You’re telling me he didn’t just sleep in your room but also…. also brought home a woman?” 

You nodded. For a hot second, last night you thought you were dreaming or imagining those sounds. As you focused, listening harder you realised they were the moans of an actual woman, coming straight from your bedroom,  followed by Jeonghan’s soft grunts. And lord, the things he was saying??

Are you even trying? Is that the best you can do?

Oh, you feel good? Where are your manners then? Be a good girl and thank me. 

You’ll do anything, won’t you? This is all you’re good for - a set of wet and wanting holes. 

“So you think he brought home a whore-” You winced at the word, making Seokmin immediately change his statement. “-a person, a professional, and had a love making session in your room? On your bed?” 

“I don’t think it, I know it.” You groaned. “And that was no love making, it was loud and-” You gulped, pressing your legs together, trying to ignore the feeling between them. “-and just disturbing.” 

“I understand it’s hard for you,” Seungkwan started. “But if it’s just that one thing-”

“Oh no no it’s not just that one thing.” You sat up, ready with a whole mentally prepared list. “That's what I slept to, guess what I woke up to? A delivery man with nearly 30 packages of all sorts of things he ordered online for his ‘ease’ because he ‘can’t live without them’ and you might wonder what the issue with that is? It is the fact that he had me pay for it and it wasn’t five or ten dollars, I paid seven thousand dollars in the morning-” All the boys' jaws dropped. “-that’s right I paid seven thousand for his things which he, by the way, made me sit and open because his ‘head hurts too much’.”

“Okay, we get it-”

“And he keeps wearing all my clothes! Not mine, I mean the ones I make-” You corrected when the boys looked at you weirdly. “This morning he wore the pure white cashmere sweater I spent hours making for the evil queen in Snow white. Now it sits in my house decorated with polka dots of ramyeon soup.”

“Oh-” 

“And he never cleans up after himself! He expects me to cook, sits and eats and then just leaves when he’s done?! He drops crumbs everywhere, he doesn't put things back in their place, I'm-”

“Breathe hon breathe,” Soonyoung rubbed your back. “He's inconvenient and it sucks, we get it but….but it’s only been a day?” He looked around, pausing as the lady above your house collected her food and walked past, face turned away from you. “What about the rest of the time? Did he bother you in any way?” 

“Not really.” You sigh. “He pretty much minds his own business. He was either sleeping or watching tv the rest of the time…and also going through all my fashion magazines, with potato chip dust on his fingers by the way-” 

“Alright, alright, we get it, he’s a pain.” Seungkwan looked at you a little pleadingly. “But you do know, given our current situation, we don’t have a choice but to house him for another 9 days.”

“Kwan, It’s still not too late to hand him over to the cops-” 

“Please.” Seungkwan pleaded, hands joined, ready to fall to his knees if needed. “We’ll give you a higher share of the ransom if you want-” 

“You think money is the issue?” 

“Of course it’s not, he’s an idiot to suggest that.” Seokmin interrupted. “It’s not about the money Y/n, just…. do it for us? Think about how you could reform the three of our lives. We could go from busting our asses waiting tables here to maybe owning our own little shop. Don’t you want that for us?” 

You stared at Seokmin’s puppy face then at Soonyoung’s big eyes then at…..whatever cute expression Seungkwan was trying and failing to make. If you could help improve the lives of the friends who were closest to you, maybe you can hang in there for a few days? 

You could not. You most definitely could not. And you realised that the moment you excitedly stepped into your house again with a generous amount of packed late night snacks. 

Clothes - Jeonghan’s and a woman’s - were strewn all over the house, right from the main door to the bedroom as though they couldn’t wait for even the five seconds it took to walk the minimal distance. As you heard a guttural moan, you shut your ears, preparing for yet another night of suffocating yourself under your pillow. 

Day 2 of 10 

“I got you some DakGalBi.” Soonyoung raised the familiar black bag of the bbq shop before him as you sighed. 

“I made the same thing for lunch.” 

“You did?” He looked surprised. “I thought you didn’t know how to.” 

“I don't, I watched a few videos; followed a cookbook.” You mumbled. “Jeonghan said he wanted to eat.” 

“Is he still bothering you?” Soonyoung asked concerned, eyes running over your tired features. By bothering if he meant taking over every aspect of your life and not giving you the freedom to breathe peacefully in your own house, then yes, Yoon Jeonghan was absolutely bothering you. Did you tell Soonyoung that though? No, because 1, just yesterday, you had told your friends that you would “hang in there” and 2, you most definitely couldn’t hang in there and were already secretly planning ways to oust Jeonghan from your house. 

The journey to making this decision started the moment you woke up. It was yet again to the sound of knocking except, it wasn’t on your door, it was coming from your home office. Wondering what in the world Jeonghan was doing there, you quickly kicked off the covers and jumped to your feet, walking over. At first glance, you didn’t spot him inside and then your eyes found a complete stranger drumming her fingers on your sewing machine. You stood frozen, fully taken aback as she looked at you, your favorite coffee mug in her hand as she sipped out of it. 

“This dress could use a deeper neck.” She pointed at the one on the mannequin and then at herself. “Like this.” 

You refused to look at her plunging neckline out of which all her….assets were spilling out. God knows why you couldn’t refuse to take her opinion on your work or tell her to get the hell out of your house. Instead, you just continued to stand frozen until you felt Jeonghan’s presence behind you. 

“What are you doing here?” He sounded like he just woke up, voice just a little deep and husky. 

“I was curious what was in here-” 

“I mean what are you still doing here?” He walked up, putting himself between the two of you. “You were supposed to leave after you were done.” 

“It was raining outside, I couldn’t go.” She muttered, looking at him hopefully. “Besides I wanted to see you in the morning before I go-” 

“I don’t.” He cut her off, pointing over his shoulder. “Get going.” 

“But-” 

“Go.” He repeated, more firmly this time. 

Looking mad, she slammed the coffee mug on the table and grabbed her bag from the floor. As she walked up to Jeonghan and tried to plant a kiss on his cheek, he turned his face away, “Don’t cross the line. Get out.” 

Huffing she left, the sound of the front door closing resounding behind her. Jeonghan turned to you, rolling his eyes, looking at you like you’ll understand. “The audacity when she can’t even deepthroat without gagging.” 

You didn’t understand. You didn’t want to understand. You just wanted him to stop saying these kind of things. Please please please shut up. 

When he walked away, yawning and stretching, you grabbed the coffee mug, nearly crying at the sight of a neat brown ring of coffee imprinted on the paper. 

Oh yeah, Yoon Jeonghan had to go. 

Now you would have told all this to the boys but you knew they would tell you to ‘adjust for a few days’ and as always, you'd give in, regardless of the fact that you wanted this man’s entire existence obliterated from your life. So you decided to handle things differently now - you would get Jeonghan out of your house without the boys realising you had a hand in it - that way you'd be free and they couldn't blame you. You weren’t quite sure how to go about this plan but that was until you went to the grocery store in the afternoon to buy some ingredients for lunch. 

The biggest drawback of this suburb was that there was barely anyone below the age of twenty who could help you out with your predicament except for the cashier's grandson, Minguk. Minguk lived in the city, but over the weekends, he came to help his grandmother, greeting you every time you crossed paths. You weren’t really close friends but he was always nice to you, helping you reach things from the higher shelves, offering to carry heavier items to your house. If anyone here could recognise Jeonghan and help you out, it had to be him. 

That’s why when you went to the shop, you told the old lady you needed a big bag of rice, twenty five kgs of it for some big rice starch cloth experiment, asking if Minguk could drop by later and bring it to your house. She agreed happily, stating she would get him to do it the moment he came in the evening and you left, waiting for said evening and said moment to arrive. 

Your prediction for the events that would follow today went somewhat like this - Minguk would come home, notice and recognise Jeonghan, ask you to get behind him while they fought and Minguk would knock down Jeonghan’s skinny ass stick figure, then make sure to hand Jeonghan to the police while you sadly told BooSeokSoon it was unfortunate that things unfolded this way. 

Now for this whole plan to be successful, you needed Soonyoung to get out of the house as soon as possible because Minguk could come any moment now. Hence you resorted to answering all of the former’s questions with short, simple replies, hoping this conversation would end fast.

“No he’s not still bothering me.”  “You sure? You-”  “Absolutely.”  “Again, we’re sorry that this-”  “No worries.”  Soonyoung frowned, confused at your curt answers. “Where is he now?” “Bathroom, showering I think.”  “What did he do before lunch?”  “Waited for lunch.”  “What did he do after lunch?”  “Nothing.” You shrugged. “Claimed he was bored, sat in my home office and watched me sketching for hours together.”  “He was…. just watching you?”  “Not the whole time, he fell asleep in between…”

You recalled how hearing his soft snores, you looked up from your work, eyes falling on him leaning back against the bean bag, drifted off in a pleasant slumber. As you glanced at him, noticing just how sharp his jaw was and how high his cheekbones sat, his lips curled into a small smile. You’re giving me that look again, princess. After that, you didn’t take your eyes off your work even once. 

“I think he fell asleep?” 

“Did you get any sleep?” Soonyoung looked over your shoulder at your bedding still on the couch. “Did he… you know, bring someone last night too?” 

You nodded, but brushed it off immediately. “It’s fine, it’s nothing I can’t handle. I promised you guys 10 days, I’ll deliver.” 

Soonyoung looked relieved, before he glanced at his watch, face morphing in worry. “It’s nearly peak hour, I gotta go back to the restaurant.” 

You agreed to him, assuring him you were fine when he asked you again, waving goodbye as you shut the door behind him. 

Minguk would be here any minute now, and if all went well, you’d finally be free again. 

Day 3 of 10 

All did not go well. 

In complete contrast to what you had imagined, here you were, yet again cooking lunch for Jeonghan, still absolutely sleep deprived and there he was, lying sprawled on your couch, going through your books, just like yesterday. Only difference was, Seokmin was on call, the sound of him chewing his apple ringing in your ears. 

As you moved around to make Kalguksu, Jeonghan’s order of the day, Seokmin spoke into your ear. “So you're saying he's not too bad to live with?” 

Bad? Bad was an understatement. Living with Yoon Jeonghan was the absolute worst. Just this morning, when you had stepped out to check your mailbox, your neighbour coincidentally returned from her morning walk, greeting you with a hard smile, asking why you looked so tired. You told her you had a lot of orders to work on, claiming you had to stay up all night to finish it and to that she said, “Yes, I think everyone in this building can tell what exactly you are doing staying up all night.” 

Never in your life before that statement did you want to be swallowed by concrete. You knew last night must’ve been particularly more noticeable because the women so far were moaners but this one….. Oh she was a screamer; so loud not even your pillow could save you. Thank god she was gone by the morning but so was a very treasured dress of yours, one you gifted by your mother. When Jeonghan woke up, he mumbled something about how her clothes tore, and she grabbed something from your cupboard before he went off to take a shower. 

“Yes, he’s not too bad.” You replied, glad Seokmin couldn't see your sarcastic expression. 

“I had a feeling he was a chill guy from the first time we saw him-” Seokmin continued to loudly chew on call. “-he seems kinda calm and knowledgeable?”

Yes, if only Seokmin heard all the 'instructions' Jeonghan loved to give his lady friends at night, he would know just how knowledgeable this man was. Although he did say something that you were thinking about for a while now…

“Min.” You slid onto the kitchen counter. “Do you think Minguk has a crush on me?” 

“Minguk as in supermart granny’s grandson Minguk?” Seokmin chuckled. “Yeah, obviously, a mega huge one.” 

“What?” You looked at your phone betrayed. “How could you not tell me?” 

“I assumed you knew and didn’t care?” Seokmin sounded nonchalant. “Since you know, he already has a girlfriend?” 

That’s what you had said too, last night when Minguk came over and all did not go well. 

Initially, it was going according to plan though. A few moments after Soonyoung left, Minguk arrived at your door, carrying a huge sack of rice, half panting as he smiled at you. Given that Jeonghan was still in the bathroom, you engaged him in casual conversation, hoping the man who usually showered in under 5 minutes, would finally come out after the two hours he had been holed up in there. Just as you were running out of stupid questions to ask, Minguk looked over your shoulder, forehead slowly pulling together in a frown as you heard footsteps behind you. Finally finally finally, please help me-

“Who is that?” He pointed, looking confused. Did he not recognise….? 

You turned, as Jeonghan approached you, your eyes widening as they landed on him - he had dyed his golden blonde hair into a dark jet black, the length of it also a lot shorter now, the pieces framing his face pushed back in a way even you could barely recognise him. You continued staring as he walked over, throwing his arm around your shoulder, glancing at Minguk.

“And who is this?” 

Tearing your eyes away from him, you looked at Minguk, almost at a loss of words, “T-this is Minguk, he works um in the supermarket nearby, he’s my friend and this is uh….” You gulped, the weight of Jeonghan’s hand heavy on your shoulder. “This is-” 

“Come on, don’t be shy.” Jeonghan laughed. “Hi….friend? I’m the boyfriend.” 

“Oh.” Minguk looked at you just as surprised as you looked at him. “I didn’t know…” 

Neither did you.

“Yeah we’ve been doing long distance for a while now, I just got back recently.” Jeonghan answered like it was a matter of fact when a few days back, you didn't even know of his existence. 

After that Minguk, who always said bye to you with a cheery wave, mumbled that he had to go and left, without sparing you a second glance.

“What an idiot.” Jeonghan chuckled as he let you go, walking into the house. “Men who don’t have the guts to be honest with the woman they like are not worth anyone’s time.” 

“I’m sorry what?” You frowned, closing the door and following him. “The woman they like?” 

Jeonghan looked at you incredulously. “You didn’t know? He was literally making heart eyes, his drool is probably outside on the floor-” 

“He has a girlfriend.” 

“So?” He shrugged. 

“So he can’t possibly like me??” 

Jeonghan looked at you amused. “You’re dense as hell princess, there’s so much I could teach you.” and with that he walked away leaving you baffled, which was not how you expected events to turn out yesterday. 

As Seokmin went on and on about how Minguk wasn’t being fair to his girlfriend, you zoned out, mind wandering on something else entirely. You needed a new, revised plan, one that was guaranteed to get Jeonghan out of your life and this time, you swore you wouldn’t fail.

Day 4 of 10 

Plan B failed just as miserably as plan A. 

You had promised yourself to get Jeonghan out of your life, but all you managed to do was get him out of the house. 

That was part of the plan though, him stepping out was vital but somehow, as though luck loved him and despised you, things worked out in his favour yet again. 

Plan B was a long and elaborate one, one that you worked on really hard, starting from last night. 

Last night, you got into your couch tired as hell, but determined not to sleep, eyes wide open in the darkness. Around 1am, you heard the sound of feet shuffling as Jeonghan’s silhouette walked past you, opening the door, letting yet another girl into your house. As the two of them moved towards your room, bodies and tongues tangled, shutting the bedroom door behind them, you immediately got up, rushing to your office room. Looking up the posters of Jeonghan on the internet, you quickly printed out a bunch of them, silently donned your jacket and a mask and left your house in the dead of the night. It took you nearly 3 hours but by the end of it you had put up those posters along all the streets of the suburb and had barely just returned and got under the covers when the bedroom door opened and Jeonghan’s companion of the night left your house. Confident that by daybreak, everyone in the neighborhood would know Jeonghan’s face and there would at least be someone smarter than Minguk who could look past the changed hair colour, you slept happily, after a long time. 

But you were rudely awakened by the sound of Jeonghan’s voice, whispering right by your ear. 

“Be honest. You don’t actually want me to leave do you?” 

Your eyes flew open only to find his face hovering above yours, inches away. You held your breath as his hand rested on your waist, fingers tracing over the sliver of skin exposed by your shirt having ridden up. 

“You’re scared of what I do to you.” He smirked, lips teasingly close to yours. “But I could do so many wonderful things to you princess.” 

You gasped as you felt his fingers slip under the waistband of your underwear, inching closer and closer to the desperate hot and wet feeling between your legs. You couldn’t bring yourself to stop him…. You didn’t want to. As he slipped a finger in, groaning about how tight you were, your eyes flew open, meeting the cracks on the ceiling above. 

Petrified, you sat up, forehead and neck drenched in sweat as though every nerve ending was on fire. Did you just have a wet dream about Yoon Jeonghan?? 

Oh he had to leave. He had to leave as soon as possible. This plan had to work. 

And you really thought it would when you were going to buy lunch (today he wanted clam chowder which was way beyond your expertise) and he insisted on following you to get it since he was getting bored at home. You thought the entire universe had finally channelised its energy into helping you get rid of him. 

You could not have been more wrong. 

Turned out that in the few hours you had spent happily sleeping, it rained cats and dogs, obliterating nearly every single piece of paper you had put up. Hours of your hard work was quite literally washed down the drain while Jeonghan happily walked out in the open right alongside dozens of people who had no idea who he was. On the contrary, they had a wilder assumption regarding who he might be - apparently your boyfriend. 

The moment you’d stepped into the restaurant, all the old women who were your grandmother’s friends and loved to strike conversation with you, absolutely ignored your existence as they caught hold of ‘your boyfriend’, insisting that the two of you eat with them. You sat across Jeonghan, watching him talking and giggling with all the old ladies as they threw all sorts of questions at him. He answered, stuffing his mouth with food, spinning the most wonderful stories of your relationship, stories that made you almost wish they were true.

After he bid them all goodbye, which was nearly two hours later, he declared he wanted to play football in the big ground where all the ladies had mentioned their visiting grandkids were playing. You took him there, sitting on the sidelines and watching this man twice their height, tackling all the little kids effortlessly, laughing - not sadistically, just happily, enjoying himself. At that moment somehow, he felt so ordinary, like any other normal person, like he could really have been your boyfriend, like this was really your life. You abandoned that thought the moment Jeonghan pulled you from the bench into the field, demanding that you play. Though you despised the idea of running around in half muddy fields, as always, you found yourself unable to say no to him, joining him and the kids in a game that was a lot more fun than you had anticipated. That was until it started pouring rain again, forcing all of you to run back to your homes, drenched from head to toe by the time you reached. The laughter in your chest fizzled out at the sight of Jeonghan shaking the wet droplets of his hair, his wet shirt sticking to his body, the outline of it unnecessarily obvious. 

But I could do so many wonderful things to you princess.

Gulping, you left to dry yourself, heart racing behind its cage, not wanting to think of the dream. The rest of the evening you refused to so much as look at him, focusing on only on the one thing you were supposed to - Plan C.

Day 5 of 10

Plan C was short and simple and it was supposed to work like a charm. 

To be honest, a part of you always had a feeling plan A and B wouldn’t work because BooSeokSoon were right - expecting anyone in this neighbourhood to know Jeonghan was stupid. So if nobody here recognised Jeonghan, you had to bring someone who recognised Jeonghan here. And that’s exactly what you did because just as you were washing the breakfast dishes and Jeonghan was asking for your help with something, there was a loud knock on the door. 

“Police, open up.” 

Finally. 

After you had gotten up in the morning, under the pretext of getting milk, you went over to the closest public phone, calling the one and only police station nearby, the one over twenty five miles away. Trying to keep the message as anonymous and vague as possible, you spoke about how it seemed like something was not right in unit 84, your own apartment. With the fear of being identified, you didn't tell them anything else but clearly your half information was taken seriously because barely half an hour later, they were here at your door. Before you could wash your soapy hands and walk over the door, Jeonghan was already there, opening it.

You held your breath, staying hidden in the kitchen, peeking from behind the wall as the two men looked at each other. The expectation was a dramatic, movie-like scene where both men confronted each other with fists, maybe even guns but the reality, much to your surprise, was the complete opposite - they were both just talking, having a conversation you could barely hear from your hiding place. Could the cop also not recognise Jeonghan? 

The answer was no, he could not. It was Jeonghan’s luck playing it’s hand once again because the moment the cop shook Jeonghan’s hand and left and the latter turned you, you noticed how the entire lower half of his face was lathered in layers of shaving foam rendering half his face completely hidden. You vaguely recalled he was asking you for help to shave, wondering what were the odds that the cop would turn up at this exact moment. Jeonghan’s luck was indeed your biggest enemy. 

Inwardly crying about the fact that not only did he just dodge your biggest weapon, but you still had to continue doing menial work for him, you followed him to the bathroom. As you prepared the razor, he sat on the edge of the bathtub, peering at you curiously in the mirror. 

“Why do you think the cop turned up at your house today?” 

Trying not to let your hands shake, you shrugged. “How would I know?....What did he say?” 

“Someone apparently called to complain about something strange going on in this house.” 

You met his eye in the reflection, thinking fast. “I mean it is a quiet neighbourhood and the people around are really old so, I guess, maybe someone complained about, you know, all the noise at night….” 

“But you don’t use the sewing machine at night?” Jeonghan frowned like he didn’t understand. 

Clearing your throat, you turned to him. “Not me, it's you…and you know all the….” Making vague hand gestures you tried to explain your point. “....when the girls come and…”

“Sex?” Jeonghan raised an eyebrow, half laughing. “What are you, a prude? You can’t say the word sex?” 

Shifting uneasily you looked away from him, mumbling. “I just don't think everything has to be said….”

Jeonghan didn't say anything to that, continuing to look at you just a little amused as you stood between his manspread, holding his jaw and tilting his head up. When his eyes met yours, a strange something flashing behind them, every cell in your body feeling hyper-alert. Gulping you slowly ran the blades along his cheek, your own cheeks heating up under his gaze, one that never left your face. 

When you did a half turn to grab a towel, feet stumbling in the process, Jeonghan’s hands flew to grab your hips, stabilizing you. He didn't let go even after you had found your footing. He didn't let go even after you finished the task at hand. 

“I'm done…” You mumbled, taking a step back and his grip on you finally loosened. Just for a second though, before he suddenly held your hand and stood up, face inches away from yours, eyes still on you the same way. 

“What’s your deal princess?” 

You gulped, looking away confused when he bent down, to your eye level, looking curious.

“You can't even bring yourself to say ‘sex’ but….” He ran his thumb across your lower lip, rubbing away a speck of foam that somehow seemed to have gotten there. “The way you look at me, there's something a lot darker behind those eyes. Which is the real you?” 

You had no idea. 

You really really had no idea.

Which is the real you?

Staring at the ceiling you pondered over Jeonghan’s question. 

Was it the you who was thoroughly scandalized by the things Jeonghan kept saying and doing? Or the you who was lying on the couch wide awake at nearly 1am, trying to pretend like you weren’t listening to the same man absolutely ruin someone in your bed. You told yourself it wasn’t that you liked it, you were simply curious. As for why you had kept your legs pressed together, you had no answer, you most definitely were not turned on, no. 

But strangely the discomfort between your legs only got worse, like a dull, desperate ache. Hesitating, you slipped your hand under the waistband of your underwear, fingers slowly inching downward, terrified of what you would discover. Your digits slid easily, given the fact that you were soaked, eyes shutting tight in embarrassment. This was so wrong and so inappropriate on so many levels….. quickly getting yourself together you rushed over to the bathroom, washing up, throwing cold water on your face to get you back into your senses. Getting it together and patting your face dry with your towel, you walked out, stepping into complete silence. 

Frowning, you turned to the clock -  usually, Jeonghan went on for hours together, giving you some peace of mind only around 3am in the morning - could they have been done already? Confused, you slowly moved towards the room door, pushing it softly, expecting to find Jeonghan fast asleep. Instead, you’re met with the sight of a woman on all fours, her head pressed into the mattress, muffling her sounds as Jeonghan railed her from behind, his hips snapping against hers at a ridiculous pace. 

Now either you should have run away from there, or screamed and then run away from there but you did neither - instead you simply froze, eyes wide and unblinking, unable to move any part of your body. It became a whole lot worse when Jeonghan, whose face was contorted with focus, suddenly lifted his head, his vision finding you by the door. The only good thing that came from this was that somehow, you found your footing again, stumbling back, loudly shutting the door. Not knowing what else to do, you grabbed your jacket from the coat rack and quickly ran out of the house, ignoring the heavy pitter patter of the rain. Thank god the boys are still sitting at the restaurant, gathered around a table, laughing away. You walked in, ready to cry out of embarrassment and dissolve in your embarrassment. 

“Okay, let’s calm down a little.” Seokmin reached for your glass, prying it out of your hands slowly, earning a glare from you. 

“I need it. I need to drown in my sorrows.” You looked over your shoulder at the lady who was sitting at the table alone, hiccuping at her fourth bottle of beer. “Like her.” 

“What’s the deal with that woman?” Seungkwan muttered looking over. “She’s been here for hours.” 

“Something about her crush being kissed by his best friend.” Soonyoung shrugged. “Apparently the other girl dared her to watch.” 

“Ouch.” You grimaced, thoroughly impressed. “God I wish I could be like that.” 

“You are like that.” Seungkwan pointed at all the bottles of soju in front of you. 

“Not her, the other one.” You clicked your tongue, not hearing the restaurant door opening behind you. “I wish I was daring like that. Gutsy enough to put people in their place, to say what’s on my mind, to tell Yoon Jeonghan to stop fucking other people in my bed-” 

“Would you rather I fuck you?” 

You turned quickly, a chill running down your spine as you found Jeonghan right behind, bent over to whisper into your ear. All three boys before you looked with their jaws hung. Turning away from him, unable to meet his eyes, you mumbled something even you didn’t understand. 

Jeonghan smiled. “Doesn’t sound like a no.” 

“I could barely recognise you.” Seokmin looked at the man before him in awe, glancing over his not so new hairdo. “Black hair looks good on you.” 

“I know.” Jeonghan agreed like it was a matter of fact before turning to you again. “The rain just stopped but looks like it might start again anytime soon, you should come home.” 

You shook your head slowly.

“I’m amazed you know how to refuse.” Jeonghan chuckled. “But now’s not the time to; come home.” 

“No.” You stood up, facing him. “I don’t want to go to your home.” 

“Not mine, yours.” 

“Oh yeah.” You looked at him spacey as Jeonghan tried to stop himself from laughing. “That’s my house. My room. My bed. What the hell are you doing there?” 

“A new woman everyday apparently.” Soonyoung muttered, purposely looking away from Jeonghan. 

“What kind of person does that?” You poked his chest, slurring. “A-and the way you talk to them? Who says things like that?” 

“Okay, we can discuss this at home. It’s 3am, get up-” 

“It’s 3???” Seungkwan quickly turned at the clock on the wall. “Fuck, fuck, fuck we have to close up.” 

The boys quickly got to their feet, one gathering the trash, the other stacking the dishes and the other ushering the only other person in the store to leave. She got up, walking towards the entrance, wantonly tripping on her own feet and holding onto Jeonghan. Something in you wanted to smack her right across the head. 

“Hi,” She fluttered her eyelashes at him. “I’m Yuri.” 

“Hi,” Jeonghan pulled his arm from her grip. “I’m not interested.” He turned to you, blatantly ignoring the other girl’s existence. “Let’s go.” 

You watched as the poor woman, looking close to tears, stormed out as you swayed and muttered. “I can’t. I can barely stand, forget walking.” 

“Get on my back.” Jeonghan offered, making you laugh. 

“Have you seen yourself?” You threw your jacket over your shoulders. “If you carry me, you’ll break. Like literally snap in half.” 

“Huh.” Jeonghan inched closer to you, tucking his hands in his pocket. “There’s so much to teach you princess. Lesson number one, size does not matter.” 

Yet again, you found yourself burning under his gaze, words lost in your mouth which was opening and closing like a fish. Sighing, Jeonghan swooped down faster than you could register his movement, grabbing you by the knees, throwing you over his shoulder. Shrieking, you protested, trying to get him to put you down but he simply ignored you, walking away as your friends watched, thoroughly shocked. 

Within minutes he had you in your house, putting you down in your bathroom, letting you sit on the edge of the bathtub as he grabbed your towel. Standing before you, he tilted your head up, softly rubbing the towel into your hair, drying it. You tried to avoid his eye, looking everywhere but him and that small amused smile on his face, only looking at him when he finally spoke. 

“What’s your name?” 

You scoffed. “You lived in my house for 5 days, ate my food, slept in my bed, and you don’t know my name?” 

“I didn’t think it was necessary.” 

“Why is it necessary now?” 

He smiled. “If you want me to fuck you, I need to know your name princess.” 

“God.” You pulled away from him. “I didn’t say I want you to… to…” 

“There we go again.” He sighed. “The celestial prude returns.” 

“I’m not a prude, don’t call me that.” You pointed an accusatory finger at him. “I’ll have you know I have….” You cleared your throat, the volume of your voice considerably lowering. “I have slept with a man before. More than once. In fact, I have also slept with two men at the same time.” 

Jeonghan raised his eyebrow like he didn’t believe it. 

“Okay fine, one of them was just watching…...” You rolled your eyes. “But there were two, my boyfriend - ex-boyfriend - and his friend-” 

“Did you agree to that?” 

Somehow Jeonghan’s voice was a lot harder now, catching you off guard. 

“Huh?” 

“I asked you if you agreed for your boyfriend’s friend to watch?” 

“I….” You stuttered, looking around. “I didn’t say no.” 

“Princess, you never say no.” Jeonghan crouched before you, looking serious. “But that doesn’t mean it's a yes.” 

You stared at him unsure what to say. That was a night you never thought about again - you always thought it was maybe because you were embarrassed but perhaps…..a part of you was trying to forget it ever happened. 

“You asked me who says the kind of things I do in bed, right? I say them because the women I’m with want me to, they enjoy it. But what you just told me,” Jeonghan shook his head. “Did you want that?” 

“I…I don’t know.” You confess. You didn’t ever question yourself like Jeonghan was. “He didn’t ask and I didn’t think I could say no-” 

“You can always say no.” Jeonghan insisted, holding your hands. “If you don’t want something, you should say no. The same way, if you want something, you should ask for it, unashamed.” 

“Then I… I want you..…” You whispered, unsure whether you should say it, not noticing the way Jeonghan's eyes darkened instantly. Taking a deep breath, you continued. “I want you…. to stop sleeping in my bed. I want you to stop wearing the clothes I design. I want you to stop making me cook for you-”

“Okay wow we’re spiraling-”

“I want you to stop making me clean after you, to stop treating me like your personal assistant, I mean what kind of man doesn’t know how to shave-” 

“The kind who’s always had people to do these things for him so he doesn’t really know how to do anything.” He muttered, sighing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think of it too much, I should’ve been more mindful of how I was being…. but now that you told me-” He got up. “-I won’t bother you, and on the off chance that I do, and you wish for me to leave, I will do so immediately, I promise.” 

You nodded slowly, both amazed that you managed to get all of that off your chest and that he took it all really well. He continued to look at you like you were both fascinating and funny. 

“What?” 

“You still haven’t told me your name by the way.” 

Half laughing you did and he repeated it, your name rolling off his tongue in a way that made something in your stomach flip. 

“I’m going to grab whatever clothes of yours I can find.” He walked up to the door, turning to you. “Please change, you’ll fall sick if you sleep in wet clothes.” 

With that he left, and that was the last thing you remembered. 

Day 6 of 10 

Today you woke up in the bathtub. 

The twisted form that you slept in obviously resulted in stiff joints and pains all over but it was falling asleep in drenched clothes that caused the continuous sneezing that followed. Dragging yourself out of the bathroom, you slowly walked into your house, meeting a strange silence - Jeonghan wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Feeling too weak to even wonder where he was, you dragged yourself to the couch, sinking into it, eyes fluttering shut. No more than five minutes later, you were awakened by the feeling of a cold hand on your forehead, making you jump at the suddenness. Jeonghan peered at you shaking his head. 

“Great, you’ve got a fever.” He clicked his tongue. “I was gone for two minutes last night and you fell asleep in the tub.” 

“Should’ve woken me up.” 

“Believe me, I tried but you wouldn’t even budge and it wasn’t like I could just carry you out of there.” He turned away muttering as you raised your eyebrows in faux surprise. “Okay, just carrying you once almost broke my back, so yeah, I admit it, I’m weak.” 

You burst out laughing, doubling over into a coughing fit as Jeonghan handed you a bottle of water, smiling almost fondly. 

“What do you want to eat for lunch?” 

“You’re going to make lunch?” 

“Don’t get used to it, only cause you’re sick.” 

You pondered, leaning back into the pillows. “Something hot and with soup would be great actually.” 

“Can you shower and change out of those clothes in the meantime?” 

You whined, shaking your head, body drained of all its energy. 

“Come on.” Jeonghan pulled you up from the couch, struggling as he did. “Wash up.” 

Stumbling to the bathroom, you did, albeit much slower than usual but a hot shower made all the difference in the world. You didn’t want to leave the warmth and maybe you wouldn’t have if the landline wasn’t constantly ringing. Groaning you wrapped a towel around you, dragging yourself to the phone, picking it up. 

“Where the hell is your phone?” Seungkwan scolded you from the other side. “Why won’t you pick up?” 

“On silent somewhere I guess.” You mumbled, looking around. “What’s wrong?” 

“Just wanted to check if you were okay-”

“I’m okay.” 

“-and also wanted to tell you that your dream shop? It’s up for lease.” 

You immediately straightened out, tiredness suddenly vanishing. “You mean the one down two streets? The one I've been waiting to get my hands on for months?” 

“Yes and yes and the price they’ve quoted is actually manageable.” Seungkwan sounded excited. “If us boys add a few thousand each to your 25K, I think you can actually afford it.” 

Your face softened. “You… you guys would do that for me?” 

“Of course, you’re our best friend Y/n, that’s the least we can do.” Twisting the cord of your phone, you glanced at it fondly. “Besides, you're the one who Jeonghan is living with, it's only fair….”

As though on cue, Jeonghan walked in, hands filled with bags, shooting you a surprised look. You looked back at him, both happy and conflicted. While you had been trying to get rid of Jeonghan behind your friend’s backs, they were so willing to go above and beyond for you. And the Jeonghan you so desperately were trying to paint as the big pain in your life, was here, offering to cook and look after you - did that mean you were the terrible one here? 

As Seungkwan hung up citing he had to go, Jeonghan walked up to you, looking worried. 

“All good?” 

“Yeah I just…. My dream might come true and I don’t know how to react.” 

"Dream come true?"He leaned closer, whispering into your ear. “I don't recall actually agreeing to fuck you…”

He looked at your towel clad body up and down, making you gulp and quickly walk away, gripping the material tight, him laughing behind you. 

When you returned in a fresh pair of pajamas to a Jeonghan who was busy bustling away in the kitchen, singing a song softly, he asked what dream you were talking about. 

“There's this space I've wanted to own for a long time now.” You sat down at the breakfast bar, head perched on interlocked hands. “It's up for lease and I might have the money to finally own it.”

“Congratulations princess.” Jeonghan looked up from his busy stirring, shooting you a smile. “That sounds great.” 

You nodded, continuing to feel all too happy. “I still can't believe it, I think I might pass out.” 

“Yes you might after eating this too.” He looked at you frazzled, “I might have added too much spice.”

“Is it that bad….”

You trailed away when he held out a blob of the marinade on his finger, hand extended towards you. Hesitating, you leaned closer, taking his finger in your mouth, lips wrapping around his digit and pulled off with a pop. Your eyes didn't leave him the whole time, neither did his.  

Clearing your throat, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

“It's fine actually, I can take it.” 

Jeonghan didn’t reply to that, simply turning back to his work silently. In the remaining 2 hours he spent cooking and flipping through the cookbook pages, he didn’t talk or so much as look at you. Even when the two of you were eating and you complimented his food, he just gave a short nod. It was only when everything was done and he cleared the table that he finally spoke, telling you to rest for a bit. You told him you were behind a lot of projects and orders and had to work, and that’s when he turned to you exasperated, 

“You’re sick, you can take a day off.” 

“There's nothing else to do anyway.” You mumbled. “And I don’t want to sleep again, I just woke up.” 

Jeonghan hummed, putting away the dishes before turning to you. “Wanna build something?” 

You watched confused as he unpacked the remaining bags he brought home earlier, pulling out boxes of Legos. 

“I wanna make a nice little space for Doljjong.” 

“Who?” You looked around, almost terrified. “Please don’t tell me you brought home a cat-” 

He pulled out a rock from his pocket, looking all too pleased. “Doljjong, my new pet.” 

“That’s a rock.” 

“And?” He looked at it, stroking the soft surface. “I found it while playing football yesterday. Even the kids agreed it was perfect.” 

You burst out laughing at his silliness as he continued to insist how it was the perfect pet and how he had found the perfect Lego sets to build it the perfect small home. 

That’s how most of the remaining day went - the two of you building Doljjong’s new residence. Actually, it was mostly Jeonghan at work, insisting that you were sick and slow and should just watch him. So that’s what you did, leaning against the couch, sipping on the hot tea he made you, munching on the snacks he bought, watching him giggle away, making his creation. 

As the sun began to set outside, you looked at him in the soft golden light, at how simple and ordinary he looked. Maybe you could bear him for another 4 days, maybe you didn’t have to feel so terrified around him. Or perhaps you should feel more scared now that you were comfortable around him…. 

Even as you sat next to him snuggling on your couch with afternoon’s leftovers warmed up for dinner, you could only think about how you kinda wished he was here for longer, which was kind of insane - just a day ago you were desperate to have him out of here but now? Now you had to admit to yourself that the only reason left on the long list of ‘Why Jeonghan Must Go’ was the way he made you feel, even when he was just sitting across you, eating and watching tv. God this was embarrassing….

When you finally put your thoughts behind you, getting ready to sleep in your usual place, Jeonghan offered that you take the bed but you refused, mumbling something about not washing the sheets. Laughing, Jeonghan sat back on his end of the couch, settling with a jacket wrapped around him. 

“You're gonna be here all night?” You looked at him surprised. 

“Yeah.” He shut his eyes, leaning back. “Just in case you need anything.”

“Why?” You glanced at him. “I mean everything today, why did you….” 

“I know what it's like to not have anyone care when you're sick.” Sighing, he turned to look at you. “I've always had people at my beck and call but they always worked for me like it was their job, because I was their boss. It never really felt like any of them cared and sometimes, that hurt. But I've come to terms with that, that's just what it's like in this job.” 

“Why….” You hesitated but decided to take a shot anyway. “Why did you choose this profession then? I mean, what compelled you…” 

“Compelled?” Jeonghan chuckled, looking away and shutting his eyes again. “If you're looking for a good-boy-forced-by-circumstances-to-go-bad kinda story I'm afraid I'm not the one for it, princess.” 

“If it wasn't a compulsion, was it your choice….” 

“I've never really been afraid to ask and get what I want.” He smiled. “Somewhere in that process this is who I became.”

“Is it that easy to just…. go for what you want?”

“It usually is when you don't care about the consequences that may follow so yeah, it has been easy for me.” He paused, like he was mulling over something. “So far.”

Before you could ask him what he meant by that, he leaned over, tucking you properly under the sheets. 

“Enough questions for today. You need rest.” He snuggled further on his end, a small smile dancing on his lips. “Goodnight Y/n.” 

“Goodnight…..Jeonghan.” 

Day 7 of 10

Of all the ways you had imagined, one would think you'd wake up to Jeonghan, this was not one of them. 

He was still fast asleep seated on his end of the couch, head leaned back, mouth slightly askew, his breathing soft and deep. Only noticeable thing was his hand on your thigh like a comforting weight - you vaguely remembered him gently patting you as you broke into a coughing fit in the middle of the night. Dragging yourself to sit up, you continued to stare at him, taking in all the beautiful features - he looked just like he did the day you first saw him. Maybe you would've given in to the temptation and run your finger across the delicate angles of his face if the landline didn't ring so loudly, both pulling you back and waking him up. 

Muttering an apology you quickly picked up the call, only to be met by the even louder voice of your mother. 

“You're sick!?”

“Hi mom, yeah, I was sick.” You mumbled frowning. “….how did you know?” 

“Why didn't you tell me? I would've come, brought you some sides, made you something to eat-” 

“Please stop screaming.” You groaned. “I can hear you just fine.” 

“Don't tell me what to do young woman. How can I not scream when I find out my sick daughter is being taken care of by a boyfriend whose existence I'm not even aware of.” 

You immediately sat up. “W-what?” 

“Yeah, imagine my surprise when Minguk's grandmother told me you weren't well but I wasn't to worry because your ‘very caring boyfriend’ is looking after you well.” 

You looked at Jeonghan who seemed to be able to hear everything given the volume your mother was talking in. 

“Mom I can explain-” 

“Save it. I'm coming home.” 

“Mom-” 

And with that she cut the call, sending your heartbeat racing.

“Fuck fuck fuck-” 

“Calm down princess.” 

“You calm down!” You snapped back stupidly, running your hands through your hair. “I'm sorry, it's just, my mom is…. a hawk. She's going to figure things out-”

“You think she’ll call the cops on me?” 

“No, no that. She hates watching the news, I'm sure she has no idea who you are but she’s definitely going to know we-” you pointed between the two of you. “-aren't a thing.”

“Hey I made your supermart boy believe it.” Jeonghan shrugged, leaning back. “And every old woman in a 2km radius.” 

“Yeah well my mother isn't one of those women. She's hella observant and nosy and most importantly, she knows me. She knows I wouldn't be with someone like you.” 

“Wow,” Jeonghan let out a low whistle. “This is starting to become offensive, princess.”

“No…” You turned to him. “No no no. What I mean is, you're not exactly the gentle, sweet boyfriend kind right? I mean… you know what I mean right?” 

Jeonghan smiled at you like he was enjoying this. “No, I don't.” 

“You do.” You muttered, knowing well that he was pushing you into a spot. “The way you’re with women, it isn’t how boyfriends are really, or at least how my mum would expect my boyfriend to be.” 

“It’s not like I’m going to talk dirty to you in front of her.” 

Feeling the heat in your cheeks rise, you looked away. “No I mean… you just seem so much more….bad boy kinds and I’ve never been the kind to date someone like you, someone who’s not-” 

“A prince wearing a shining armor on a white horse who comes to save the day?” 

Yes exactly that, as evident by the many drawings in your childhood journal but Jeonghan did not need to know that. 

“-someone who’s not very gentlemanly?” 

“So what do you want me to do? Bow to your mother, kiss her hand, ask for your hand in marriage-” 

“I said gentle, not archaic.” You rolled your eyes.

“Do you really want that though?” He turned to you, head cocked in question. “A man who is gentle?”

You tried to avoid his gaze knowing he would read your answer to that like an open book.

“Of course. I'm….I'm a suburban girl with a boring, uneventful life. I…obviously want someone who's soft and sweet and-”

“Show me.” 

You turned to him so fast and so wide eyed, you were sure a vessel had burst somewhere. 

“Show me how you want to be loved.” 

Stuttering and at an absolute loss of words, you continued staring at him stupidly. Chuckling softly, like always, Jeonghan leaned close. 

“If we need to convince your mother, then you're going to have to teach me what you like, princess.” 

Gulping you blinked at him, eyes flickering to his lips. He watched you with raised eyebrows as you hesitatingly mirrored his lean, closing the space between the two of you and gently pressed your mouth onto his. 

Uncharacteristically, Jeonghan froze. 

His sudden stiffness instantly brought you back to your senses, making you pull away, ready to apologise and banish yourself into your room forever but before a word could leave your mouth, Jeonghan quickly captured it again, sighing into the kiss, lips moving unnaturally soft. 

“Well,” He muttered as he drew back and your eyes met his. “When I said show me, I meant show me what you wanted me to do to convince your mother about us? I didn’t think this was a part of that-” 

“Good god.” You groaned, burying your face in your hands and yourself in the couch. What the hell did you just do?

“Hey.” Chuckling, Jeonghan pulled your hands away, looking at you keenly. “Be honest with me though, is this really how you like it?” 

For some reason, the question seemed rhetorical, like he knew the answer already. Not entirely honest, you nodded slowly. 

“Huh.” He leaned closer, like he was challenging your answer. “Do you want to know how I like it?” 

“Yes.” 

You’re not really sure how or why that word left your mouth so quickly but clearly, Jeonghan didn’t care. Before you knew it, he ran his hand up your thigh, pulling you onto his lap with an ease you did not expect from him. 

“Are you sure?” He whispered, tucking your hair behind your ear with one hand, gripping your waist with the other. “You don’t-” 

“Please.” You whispered back and that was all it took for him to hold your face and pull you down onto his mouth, lips ravenous against yours. As your hands fisted the material of his shirt, his slipped in your hair, gripping it in a way that surprisingly didn’t hurt. Rather it felt good, like you wanted him to guide you the way he wanted, the way he liked, in any way he needed you to submit to him. As his hand ran down your back, his tongue slipped into your mouth, tasting like a mistake, a scandal and a terrible decision all at once but somehow you couldn’t stop. Even when he pulled back to breathe, you descended upon him immediately, oxygen be damned because for the first time in forever, something in you was truly alive. Smirking against your lips Jeonghan grabbed your ass, rocking you against him, the outline of his hard length evident under you. You moaned very audibly when he broke away, placing a line of kisses down your neck while your hands, out of their own will, began unbuttoning your shirt.

“Fuck princess, I knew you had a wild side.” He muttered against your skin, tongue running along the bruise he had made. 

You had no idea. You had no idea an animal as hungry as this was inside you - the dull feeling that you had been getting between your legs all these days was turning into a terribly unbearable ache. You could not ignore it anymore. 

“I need you-” You gasped, not expecting his mouth on the swell of your breasts. “I need your help, please Jeong-” 

And perhaps he would’ve helped if not for the sound of the lock turning. 

Your mother stood outside, balancing the bags in her hand, struggling to open the door with her spare set of keys. When she had managed to unlock the door and swing it open, she was met with the sight of her child and her apparent boyfriend sitting side by side expectantly. She however did not notice the mismatched buttoning of your shirt, or Jeonghan’s red, flushed expression or your hand awkwardly covering something on your neck. 

“Mom, you’re here, what a surprise.” Smiling wide and fake, you walked up to the woman setting her bags down on the kitchen counter, frowning at you. 

“I let you know I was coming like half an hour ago.” 

“Right.” You mumbled as Jeonghan joined, standing beside you. Getting a hold of yourself, you moved to stand next to your mother putting some much needed distance between you and the man you were practically dying to jump. “This is uh, Jeonghan. He’s… he’s actually…” 

“The boyfriend.” Jeonghan and your mother answered at the same time, taking each other aback. 

“Well, well.” Your mother looked at him up and down in scrutiny before breaking into a smile. “Something tells me you and I are going to get along great, Jeonghan. I want to hear all about how the two of you met.” 

If there is anything you’ve learnt about Jeonghan today, it was that he was an excellent storyteller. Honestly, you wouldn’t have been surprised if he was one of those people who wrote fanfictions on the internet as a hobby because wow did he have the talent for it. 

As you were putting away all the things your mother bought you and he told her the apparent story of how the two of you met, you too listened in awe, stopping your work and staring at him, amazed. Your mother kept laughing, asking why you were behaving like you were listening to this story for the first time when you actually lived it. Laughing weakly you continued to listen, trying to look less awestruck.

You’re not quite sure how Jeonghan learned the idea of romance within minutes because strangely, the story he made up was nothing short of a fairytale, one that had absolutely convinced your mother. 

“Oh Hannie.” She cooed, rubbing his arm. “I’m so glad my baby found you. There could not have been anyone more perfect.” 

As she looked at you fondly over her shoulder, Jeonghan shot you a triumphant smirk. You returned their looks with a hard smile of your own. 

The rest of the day went pretty the same way - Your mother busied herself with making you some soup and dishes for lunch while Jeonghan stood nearby, entertaining her with his words and stories. Neither of them seemed to notice how you were doing. For one, you were feeling extremely hot - it was a cool day yet you were sweating like crazy, your cheeks were hot, and just the fabric of your clothes touching your skin felt weirdly uncomfortable. You were also strangely jumpy - every time Jeonghan so much as passed by you or his hand accidentally brushed any part of your skin, you would react like you were touched by a few hundred volts of electricity. The worst thing of them all was having to sit next to him during lunch - sure it was easier when you didn’t have to look at him eye to eye but the soft kisses on your cheek and forehead??? The wiping of food on the edge of your mouth??? The constant brushing of your hair away from your face?? It was all getting a little too unbearable. 

And it didn’t help that you were already incredibly wet from your little escapade earlier, your panties sticking to you uncomfortable throughout all of this, only getting wetter if that were even possible.

Jeonghan seemed to have finally noticed your situation way too late in the day. 

After lunch your mom took over the entertainment, showing Jeonghan pictures of you as a kid, telling him all your embarrassing stories. Soon, the sun set outside and usually, your mother, who liked to leave before it was too dark, insisted she wanted to have dinner with her daughter’s boyfriend. That was how the three of you found yourself in your usual bbq place with Seokmin, Seungkwan and Soonyoung, all looking at you, wide eyed. 

Perhaps it was the many hours that she spent with Jeonghan today or watching him interact with your three best friends so casually or looking at him play with the cats in the neighborhood, by the time your tipsy mother made it back to your apartment, she could not stop gushing about how Jeonghan was the best thing that ever happened to you. The praises only stopped when she finally resorted to the bathroom for a long, hot shower, leaving you standing and looking out of the balcony, finally alone, finally at peace. 

That didn’t last for long as Jeonghan stood beside you, trying to figure out what you were so intently staring at. 

“Gotta give it to you.” You scoffed. “I was worried my mom would doubt us but you’re a natural.” 

“It helped that it was you.” 

Confused, you turned to him. 

“I mean, the little demonstration of what you pretend to like and what you really like kinda helped.” He smirked.

Knowing he was trying to put you on the spot again, you looked away, “You think you know everything….” 

“I do. You think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been incredibly turned on since our little make out session?” You froze, unable to take your eyes off the empty street. “I could smell the arousal on you all day princess and quite frankly, it’s been driving me crazy.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You mumbled, trying to leave only to be pulled back as Jeonghan trapped you between him and the railing before you. 

His fingers ran down your arm slowly, “Are you telling me if I were to slip my hand between your legs, I won’t find you soaking wet?” 

“Jeonghan please.” You whispered. “Y-you can’t say such things-” 

“You could admit it….or I could check for myself.” 

It was like the words were stuck in your throat, the shame not letting you say anything. To begin with it was already embarrassing enough to come to terms with the fact that you were immensely attracted to this man, you have been since you laid eyes on him, but to admit that he had you desperate for him all day and wanted him in any and all ways possible? That was entirely a whole other level of mortification. 

Jeonghan let out a breath, muttering in your ear. “I can’t help you if you won’t ask me to.” 

You gulped. “So begging really gets you off huh?” 

“Yes, but you don’t need to.” He smiled, his fingers running across the elastic of your bottoms. “You just need to say the word. Say you want this. Say you want me.”

When you didn’t respond to him despite a whole minute passing by, he let out a deep breath, stepping back with an understanding nod. Given how just that minimal distance between the two of you made your stomach drop, you finally cracked, holding him by the hand, pulling him back to press against your back. Holding your breath you dragged his hand, guiding it once again along the elastic of your pants. 

You couldn’t see but Jeonghan looked at you concerned. “Here?” 

“If you don’t touch me right now I might just cry.” You muttered, thankful you couldn’t see what you assumed would be a triumphant expression, pushing his hand further down, past the hem of your underwear. “Please Jeonghan.” 

Two very long and frustrating heartbeats later, he finally angled his hand, moving further down.

“Fuck.” He groaned as his digits met the slick between your folds. “Were you this soaked all day?” 

You nodded, whispering. “Been aching…...” 

“Trust me, not more than I have.” He moved closer to you, pressing against your back, his erection confirming his words. The thought of potentially feeling that inside you made your mouth practically water, as you pressed your legs closer, squeezing his hand in between them. 

Jeonghan’s finger grazed over your clit, making you keen and hold onto the railing for dear life. 

“Please.” That was all you could say with the way his fingers were teasing your entrance. “Please, please, please-” 

Jeonghan covered your mouth with his free hand, pulling you back against his chest, whispering gruffly. “Save the begging for next time y/n.” 

Next time? 

You gulped, body taut with anticipation, mind still reeling over his words as Jeonghan finally pushed in not one but two fingers at the same time, his thumb grazing over your clit simultaneously, your hand reflexively gripping his wrist. Maybe because you’ve been silently thirsting over this man for almost a week now, or because you have been inexplicably horny all day, or because you just realised that the two of you were quite literally doing this out in the open where anyone could catch you in the act but the moment Jeonghan’s fingers pushed all the way in and he pressed on your clit, your walls clamped around his digits, back arching against him, your moan held back by his hand against your mouth. As your orgasm washed over you in waves, you panted against him, trying to catch your breath, the stars in the night sky suddenly swarming in front of your eyes. 

“Did…” For the first time ever, Jeonghan stuttered, like he was confused. “Did you just cum?” 

Your arousal dripped down his fingers, giving him his answer. 

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” He groaned. “or felt, rather.” 

As the pleasurable feeling began to ebb and the embarrassment took over, you tried to pry yourself away from his grip only for him to hold you more firmly, further pushing his fingers in. Overstimulated, your protests came out muffled against his hand, as you unwittingly clamped around him again. 

“Don’t.” He warned, head dipping to the crook of your neck, sighing. “God, you’d feel like heaven around me.” You smiled slightly at his words, just a little proud, making him chuckle. “You like the thought of that, don’t you?” 

Given your new found bravado, you slowly nodded and Jeonghan pulled himself back with resolve. “It’s not very gentlemanly to fuck a woman after making her come just once.” Finally taking his hand off your mouth and sadly also pulling his fingers out you, he turned you around swiftly, pushing you up against the wall behind him. “Give me another one.” He muttered against your ear. 

Although the post orgasm haze and more importantly, the post horny haze was receding and you were suddenly hyper aware that you were out in the open, Jeonghan’s deep voice, as he peppered kisses along your shoulder, “Come on, be good for me.”, made your decision.

 Oh you could be so good for him. 

Threading your fingers in his hair, you pressed yourself up against him, nodding almost too eagerly. Smiling against your skin, Jeonghan slipped his hand between your bodies, sliding his fingers past all the layers of cloth keeping you away from him. You sighed like you were drowning in ecstasy as his fingers found your hole again, wasting no time to push his fingers in, curling almost instantly. When you gasped at the feeling of him grazing that spot, Jeonghan covered your mouth with his free hand once again, pressing you against the wall. 

“Not here.” He warned but his actions seemed to be trying to do the exact opposite, fingers pumping in and out of you fast, your eyes almost rolling back in pleasure. “After this we are going inside and you’re gonna choose where you want to get railed and there, you can scream all you want.” 

You whined, both at the idea of him taking you on nearly every surface of your house and feeling everything inside you tighten once again. Jeonghan’s thumb began circling on your clit once again, making you squirm, knees almost buckling as you gripped his arm hard to steady yourself.

You could hear the sound of a plane flying high above, the beeping of a reversing car from somewhere below, the chatter from your neighbour’s television - somehow all of it exhilarated you. The thought of getting caught with Jeonghan knuckles deep inside you was weirdly, insanely hot…. until you heard the next sound - the bathroom door opening. 

Quickly pulling Jeonghan’s hand from your mouth and pushing him back much to his surprise, you harshly whispered. “My mom!” 

Jeonghan immediately pulled his hand away, giving you just enough time to adjust your pants and smoothen the crinkles on your clothes before your mother walked into the balcony looking for the two of you. 

Yet again, you were both smiling at her, abnormally and unnaturally wide. She frowned but overlooked it, announcing her decision instead. “I’ll need an extra pillow for my back, I’m staying the night.” 

Jeonghan and you exchanged looks at the unexpected news as the older woman narrowed her eyes at the two of you. “Is there a problem?” 

“No….” You tore your eyes away from Jeonghan. “I was just trying to remember where the extra bedding is….” 

“It’s at the bottom of your closet.” He muttered. “I’ll grab it.” 

Jeonghan walked out of there quickly, not meeting your mother’s eyes as she leaned against the railing, looking out, saying something about how it was going to rain like crazy tonight. 

You watched him disappear into the house and were about to turn your attention to your mother when he took a step back, catching your eye. As you raised your eyebrows in question, Jeonghan slipped two of his fingers into his mouth, yeah the two that were inside you moments ago, pulling them out with a pop. Laughing at your mortified expression, he walked away, leaving you with your heartbeat ringing in your ears. 

Tonight was far from over. 

Day 8 of 10 

Much to your disappointment, nothing else happened last night. 

Excusing yourself from your mother, the first thing you did was to shower, hoping you’d feel somewhat less filthy after your escapade in the balcony. Surprisingly, more than feeling scandalized about the madness you had indulged in, you found yourself disappointed that you didn’t get the chance to cum on Jeonghan’s fingers again. Part of you wanted to finish off in the shower by yourself but you knew after Jeonghan, there was no way you could feel the same kind of high in your own - it was him or nothing. 

By the time you had stepped out, Jeonghan had pillows and blankets piled up next to him on the couch and from the room, your mother called out to you. Shooting him a disappointed look which he returned, you retired to your room, sleeping next to her on your bed after a whole damn week. 

That was perhaps why you woke up when it was way past 11 in the morning, body well rested after so long. When you stretched, walking out of your room, you could hear Jeonghan and your mother talking over the sound of what you guessed was them making breakfast. 

“....that experience isolated my poor child.” You frowned hearing your mother’s voice. “After that she quit fashion school, moved away from everything she considered her world till that point-” 

“Mom!” Walking over quickly, you interrupted the conversation. “What are you doing?” 

“Making breakfast.” She shrugged as Jeonghan walked up to you, placing a soft kiss on your temple, rubbing your arm like he sensed you were angry. “And telling Han about that shithead Bohyun-” 

“Mom.” You spoke between gritted teeth. “There’s no need to talk about him early in the morning-” 

“It’s half past 11-” 

“Mom!” Looking at her exasperatedly, you crossed your arms. “Don’t you have to give grandma her medicines, what are you still doing here?” 

“Would you look at that Han?” She looked at Jeonghan, shaking her head. “She’s throwing her own mother out of the house.” 

“What? I’m not-” 

“The disrespect I tell you.” She continued, ignoring you. “When all I wish is the best for her. I told her. I told her back then not to date that boy. If she had listened to me things wouldn’t have been like this-” 

“Okay, that’s it, I’m done here.” Giving up, you turned away, heading to your studio and locked yourself in. You would now do what you always did every time your dreaded ex came across your mind - throw yourself into your work and forget the rest of the world.

In a way, you had to thank your mother for reminding you about that man and consequently pushing you towards your work cause god were you way behind schedule. You knew you were falling behind but you didn’t know it was this bad until you noticed all your deadlines menacingly staring at you from your calendar. Without wasting time, you got back into the mechanical pursuit of your job, the way you usually did when you had a surmount of orders. You only ever stepped out twice, once for lunch and once for dinner, settling for the food your mother had made for you, scarfing it down within minutes before returning to your designs. 

It was only when your shoulders began to miserably ache way past your bedtime that you dragged yourself to the living and found Jeonghan sitting in front of the tv. Surprisingly, you had forgotten all about him in the last many hours, a strange guilt rising in your chest as you sat beside him. Jeonghan did not turn to you as you approached. 

“Are you…” You laughed at the screen. “Are you watching Princess and the Frog?” 

He nodded.

“As a child, I never understood this movie.” You leaned back into the couch. “I always thought the prince was supposed to save the princess. Instead he turned out to be a playboy and dragged her through his miserable fate too.” 

Jeonghan hummed in response. 

“I can’t remember the last time I watched this.” You fiddled with your hands, trying to make conversation. “Seungkwan hates this movie so he never lets us watch during movie nights too.” 

Jeonghan simply hummed again. 

Sighing, you turned to him. “Are you….angry or something?” 

“I’m not angry, just thinking.” 

“About what?” 

“The things your mother told me about you and your past.” Jeonghan let out a deep breath, contemplating for a bit before finally talking. “I don’t understand when people forget themselves in a relationship. It makes no sense to lose yourself in love.” 

“That’s because you’ve never been in love.” You watched the screen as the two animated frogs ran through the forest. “That’s just how it is.” 

“If that’s love then I don’t ever want to be in it.” 

“Yeah well that’s the part that sucks.” You scoffed. “You don’t really get to choose. Love just happens.” 

Jeonghan finally turned to you. “You read too many fairy tales, princess.” 

Smiling at the familiar nickname, you leaned back into the couch. “I did, as a child. I grew up in a world of fairy tales. That’s where I met Bohyun, my ex.” 

Now Jeonghan had all his attention on you. 

“We were re-enacting Sleeping Beauty for a school play - I was Aurora and he was Prince Philip. He was my first kiss, my first love, my first of many things to be honest. We lived in the same neighbourhood, went to the same schools, had the same friends… I even enrolled into fashion school because he wanted to study fashion and I wanted to be with him.” You sighed looking at Jeonghan’s expression. “Yeah I can tell you don’t like that. Honestly, that wasn’t the worst decision I made. I actually really grew to love fashion designing, I can’t imagine myself doing anything else. It’s all the stuff after that I failed to see. Rather, I did see it all but…. I guess I was too much of a coward to do anything about it.” 

Jeonghan waited quietly for you to continue. 

“It started with him disappearing for long hours, then it became days together. On some days he would give explanations and on some days he would in turn scold me for not trusting him? All this went on till the last semester of fashion school when as my mother would have told you, I….found him cheating on me.” 

Jeonghan looked like he expected that outcome. 

“The crazier thing was, I actually begged him to leave her and come back to me. It took a while but he eventually did and I thought everything was back to normal again but something had changed. I refused to see it but he became strangely controlling. He would want to have a say in who my friends were, he didn’t like me hanging out with people he didn't get along with, he became more demanding about….” You gulped, voice dropping a little. “...sex. It was like he knew how much I needed him, like….” 

“He knew you didn’t know how to say no.” Jeonghan completed for you, and you nodded. 

“But then he cheated again, and came back again and then cheated yet again and I took him back again and it just kept going on and on until…. one day he asked me for a lot of money, to help kick start his new business.” You sighed. “Do you remember that dream space I told you about? It was originally my grandmother’s old kimbap shop, one that she gifted me, so I could open my own boutique there one day. I uh sold it, to get him the money he wanted and….he used it to buy his other girlfriend a house.” 

Jeonghan’s jaw tightened like he was mad. 

“After that blow, I quit school and moved away from that neighbourhood to this place, my grandmother’s apartment. Everyone thought I was done with him and was trying to move on but…. I was honestly running away. Because I knew if he came back….”

“You still wouldn’t be able to say no.” 

You nodded. “I am pathetic, aren’t I?” 

“Yeah, a little.” Jeonghan scoffed. “I don’t understand love, and I’ve never been in it, but one would have to be a fool to not be in love with you.” 

You looked at Jeonghan, slightly taken aback. 

“The world is harsh and cold and selfish Y/n. No one thinks about anything beyond themselves. And there’s you, putting the person you love above everything. It’s both pathetic and noble.” Jeonghan turned off the movie as the credits began rolling. “But you cannot put your self respect on the line for assholes like him, you deserve much better than that.” 

“I know.” You sighed. “I wish I knew how to.” 

“By speaking your mind.” Jeonghan stated like it was obvious. “By refusing the things you don’t want. By asking for the things you do want. By talking about how you feel…. Not just when you’re drunk but also in all your senses.” 

Recalling that drunk night in the bathroom you laughed softly. He wasn’t wrong. Things between the two of you had changed drastically since that conversation. A strange gratitude swelled in your heart towards Jeonghan and how though he had been with you for barely a week, he had understood you better than anyone had. Turning him to you, you placed a soft kiss on his mouth, muttering a heartfelt “Thank you.” 

Jeonghan, though, rolled his eyes. “Y/n, I’m not even kidding, my grandmother kisses me like this.” 

You laughed as he reached for you, attempting to pull you into his lap yet again but you beat him to it, clambering in yourself, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

Jeonghan smiled at the sight of you above him. “Hey.” 

“Hi.” 

“Is there something you want?” 

“Yes.” You whispered, taking his face in your hands and kissing him again, this time, slipping your tongue in his mouth. Jeonghan’s lips curled into a smile as he pressed back, breaking free only to softly bite on your lower lip. Sighing dreamily, you rocked your hips against his, guided by his hands. You softly mumbled, holding back a moan. “We didn’t get to finish…. whatever we were doing last night.” 

“And what was that?” 

“.....you know what.” 

“Use your words princess,” His voice went low and gruff, sending a tingle across your groin. “You were far from shy with my fingers inside you.” 

“Don’t….” 

Jeonghan’s hands sneaked under your shirt, more than pleased to not find the hooks of a bra. “Bedroom.”

You shook your head slowly, muttering. “Too far.” 

Chuckling Jeonghan leaned back. “You want me to take you right here?” 

“You said I could choose next time….” 

“I also asked you to beg next time.” He whispered, tongue running over his lower lip, hands dragging you hips along his length. “So tell me you want me to fuck you with my fingers again.” 

“Please.” You gasped. “Just fuck me…  with anything.” 

“Anything…” He repeated amused, before pulling your shirt over your head. No sooner did the material leave you, his mouth descended on your boob, pulling you in, towards him. Threading your fingers in his hair you gripped it as a moan slipped out of you - never in your life had you ever been this obscene but something about doing it with Jeonghan felt like this was the big catharsis of your life, waiting to happen. 

With a swift movement he flipped you onto your back, laying you on the couch, hovering over you. Without wasting any time, you unbuttoned his shirt, fingers moving nimbly, thank god for fashion school. Jeonghan laughed as you attempted to push the fabric off his shoulders, holding your hands by the wrists, pinning it to your chest. 

“Eager aren't we?” He looked at you in a way that could only be described as mocking. “If only you were honest with me from the start we could have been doing this for so long.” 

“I'm sorry-” 

“Shhh.” Head raised, you watched him drag his mouth down your chest, inching closer to your abdomen. “I hate apologies. You either own it or fix it.” 

“How can I fix it?” 

“By telling me what you really want.” Pulling your shorts off your legs, he hovered right above where you were aching once again. 

“I…I don’t know.” Falling back onto the couch, you stared at the ceiling. “I really don't. I just know that I’ve been weirdly winded and uneasy for a long time and it feels like you’re the only one who can help- oh my god.” 

Your eyes widened as you raised yourself on your elbows to see Jeonghan right between your legs, his mouth pressed onto your panties right there. 

“Like this?” He grinned before peppering small kisses on the inside of your thigh. 

When words refused to leave your dried up throat, you nodded slowly, not looking at him. Leaving your hands Jeonghan hooked his fingers on the elastic of your underwear, “Up.” and pulled it down your raised hips. As it joined the rest of your clothes somewhere on the floor, suddenly you were hyper aware of the fact that you were completely bare while Jeonghan was still almost entirely clothed. Reflexively, your legs tried to squeeze shut, but Jeonghan’s hands stopped them, pulling them over his shoulders instead. 

“I wish you could see yourself from my eyes Y/n.” He looked at you, eyes darkened in desire. You probably looked like a flushed, panting mess, completely missing the admiration etched on Jeonghan’s face. 

Aware of Jeonghan and his ability to tease and especially his affinity for begging, you opened your mouth to do just the same but what left it was an unholy moan as Jeonghan descended upon you like he was ravenous. As though just his mouth on your clit wasn’t making you lose your mind, his digits too slipped in, pumping slowly. He must’ve liked it when your fingers automatically threaded into his hair because his groan reverberated against your core making your back arch off the couch in pleasure. 

Oral was completely new territory - you had never gotten or given it, god knows why considering this was clearly the best thing that has ever happened to you. As discussed yesterday, you let every sound leave your mouth freely, unbothered about the neighbours or people living around. Frankly it could be the end of the world and you wouldn’t care, not with what Jeonghan’s tongue was doing inside you. He too seemed to enjoy your audible reactions and the way it told him just how you liked it, his fingers and mouth taking turns to manhandle you. 

“Jeonghan fu-fuck, right there.” You nearly sobbed as his fingers found your sweet spot, the one that made your toes quite literally curl. 

“Don’t cum Y/n, I don’t want to be done just yet.” 

Well then he should have behaved like it because seconds after he said that you felt that tightening coil in you snap as you embarrassingly loudly, came on his tongue, riding it out against his mouth. Licking his lips Jeonghan pulled himself away from your legs, hovering above you once more, kissing you again. The taste of you in his mouth felt sinful but you let yourself be carried away by it as his hand ran up your thigh seductively before grabbing your more petite hand, placing it right where he was rock hard. As your mouth practically watered at how long and heavy he felt in your hands, Jeonghan buried his face in the crook of your neck, leaving little bite marks of red. 

“I thought gentlemen didn’t make a woman cum just once.” You muttered, gripping his erection the best you could in that angle and over his sweats. 

Jeonghan hissed, his voice dropping an octave. “I thought you didn’t want anything gentle?” 

“I….I don’t.” You confessed out loud for the first time. “Do whatever you want, I can take it.” 

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows both pleased and impressed as his fingers toyed with the slick dripping between your folds. Eyes shut tight, you waited to feel him ravage you once again instead, you were met with the sound of a loud knock on your door. 

Both Jeonghan and you looked at each other wondering if that was just imagination till another knock pulled you to your senses. 

“Please don’t tell me that’s your mother again.” Jeonghan quickly sat up, hands moving to button himself up. 

“I hope not.” You got off the couch hurriedly, grabbed your clothes from the floor and quickly threw them on, smoothing out your hair. Jeonghan walked up to the door, waiting with his hand on the handle for you to look decent as you and your wobbly self tried to keep it together. The moment you pulled your shirt over your head and adjusted your shorts, Jeonghan opened the door and your heart dropped to your stomach. 

Standing at the entrance was a young woman dressed in an unbelievably tight black dress, her hair held up by a high ponytail as she blew her baby pink bubblegum. She looked up from her phone at you then at the door number as though she was confirming if she was in the right place. You knew exactly why she was here and for whom. 

Unable to comprehend how exactly to react in this situation, you grabbed your jacket from the stand and walked past Jeonghan, harshly pulling away from his attempt to hold you back. Not even glancing back, you disappeared into the night doing what you did best - running away. 

“Y/n.” 

When you opened your eyes you were met with the sight of Jeonghan’s face high above, upside down. 

“Oh my god.” You gasped slowly. “Your mouth is on your forehead and your eyes are on your chin.”

“And you’re clearly drunk. Again.” He walked around, lying down on the grass beside you. “Which means it's time for both stupidity and honesty.” 

You turned your head towards him. “Did you just call me stupid?” 

Jeonghan mirrored you. “I also called you honest.” 

“Hmm. Then I'll be honest. I don't want to talk to you.” 

“Do you want me to go then?” 

“No.” You sighed. “I don't want you to go… to her.” 

“She's gone. I sent her away the moment you left.”

“Why did it take you so long to come to me then?” You pouted as Jeonghan laughed. 

“I thought you'd be at the restaurant. I didn't expect to find you lying in the middle of the football field.” 

In all fairness, that was a valid point - you didn't want to face the boys right now so you purchased a few bottles of soju from the supermarket which were now lying empty around you. 

“Why did she come?”

“I didn’t call anyone today.” He sighed. “It’s just, the instruction was for a new one to come every night. They came the last two nights too, I sent them away, just like I did today.”

“Why?” 

“Because…. Because we,” Jeonghan cleared his throat. “I mean you and I-” 

“Why do you need a new girl every night?” 

“I'm not sure.” Jeonghan turned away, staring at the stars. “I guess I'm just…  looking for a human connection with someone.” 

“Like that?” You scoffed. “By sleeping with someone new everyday?” 

“I don’t know Y/n, I don't even know how what I’m searching for feels. Perhaps I’m just looking for someone who makes me feel….. Normal? Like I’m worthy of being cared for.” 

“Did you manage to find anyone…. who makes you feel like that?” 

Jeonghan turned to you with a small smile, eyes roaming over your features. “Yes but ironically, not by sleeping with them.” 

You hummed, pausing for a silent minute. 

“Did you never want to try and find that with me?” Eyes big and curious you turned to him. “Did you never want to sleep with me?” 

“I did. From the moment I laid my eyes on you.” Jeonghan recalled the first ever words he said to you. I love you. Maybe he didn't just say it out of relief. Maybe a part of him subconsciously knew this was it. You were it. “But you quite literally kept running away from me. Hell, you couldn't even say the word ‘sex'-”

“I want to have sex with you.” You sat up in a flash. “Jeonghan I really do want to have sex with you-” 

“You're drunk.” Jeonghan chuckled. “Sober you may not want the same thing-” 

“It does. Every me wants this. Jeonghan-” To his complete surprise, you climbed onto him, straddling him around the waist, palms planted on his chest. “-I'm serious. Didn't you say I was honest when I'm drunk?” 

“I also said you were stupid when drunk.” He tucked your hair behind your ear fondly. “It won’t be right to do anything now.” 

“Fine. I’ll be sober by the morning and ask you first thing when I wake up, do you promise to fuck me right here?” 

“Out here? Ok that’s a bit much even for me.” Jeonghan laughed. “You’re a lot wilder than I anticipated, princess.” 

“Ugh.” You groaned, lying down on his chest, eyes fluttering shut from the tiredness. “I think you bring out the worst in me.” 

“But somehow you bring out the best in me.” Jeonghan stroked your head softly. “I can't remember the last time I felt this free and happy. Strangely, I think I've grown to like this little domestic life with you. The cooking, the shopping, the grandmas, the kids, your mom…..does it all have to end in 2 days?” 

When he didn’t get a response, Jeonghan glanced down only to find you fast asleep, mouth slightly open. Laughing silently he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close against his chest as he too dozed off into a peaceful slumber.  

Day 9 of 10 

You woke up to the feeling of harsh sunlight on your face which was not unusual given you always slept next to the window. What was unusual was waking up in the middle of the football field wrapped in Jeonghan's arms.

You're fully awake in the blink of an eye, mortified by the thought of people having seen the two of you, although no one seemed to be around as far as the eye could see.

“Good morning princess.” Jeonghan yawned, slowly waking up, his arms loosening around you. Taking the chance you slid off him, mumbling a small “morning.” in reply.

Jeonghan snickered, glancing at you. “Someone's definitely sober.” 

“We should go….before someone sees us.” 

As you looked around trying to spot any unwelcome viewers, Jeonghan raised himself on his elbow, looking down at you. 

“Last night you didn't seem to care.” 

“Jeonghan….” His finger traced down your arm seductively. “Please let's go home.” 

Reading into your urgency, Jeonghan nodded, pulling you up to your feet. As the two of you walked away, his hand was still interlocked in yours. 

The streets near your house somehow looked more alive today. Suddenly everyone you knew was out on the street, waving you hi, wishing you good morning, smiling slightly at the sight of the two of you walking hand in hand. Seokmin, Seungkwan and Soonyoung, who normally only turned up in the evening for their shift after classes, were also standing outside the restaurant, looking at the two of you quizzically. As Jeonghan spotted them he let your hand go, greeting them with a nod before glancing at the convenience store. 

“I’m gonna grab breakfast.” He stepped back. “We’re going to need our energy for what’s coming.”

As he walked off with a wink and you tried to suppress your excited smile, the boys jogged up to you, gathering around. 

“Did I just see you two hold hands?” Soonyoung poked your arm with a smirk. 

“Soonyoung later.” Seungkwan shut him up. “Y/n, you have Jeonghan’s phone right?” 

“H-his phone?” You shook your head. “Not right now. It’s in the drawer of the tv cabinet…. I think?” 

“Well we gotta message that guy, assistant 1, remind him to keep the money ready.” 

You blinked like all the words he said just went over your head. 

Seungkwan looked at you pointedly, “Tomorrow is the tenth day Y/n, remember what we’re doing all this for?” 

“Are you okay?” Seokmin glanced at you lost in thought. 

No, no you did not think you were okay. 

“No.” 

That was the first word that left you the moment you entered your house and Jeonghan closed the door behind you. 

“I mean, you were right. Sober me doesn’t want the same thing.” 

Jeonghan looked at you trying not to show the surprise and confusion on his face. You, on the other hand, finally had clarity - this was Jeonghan. Mafia boss Yoon Jeonghan. The man who was on the run from the cops, the man who you were in fact holding for a ransom, the man who will be gone in a day. This wasn’t you - sleeping with a man because you couldn’t keep it in your pants. You had no idea why you were behaving like this. 

“Jeonghan, I'm a relationship kind of girl. I can’t sleep with someone who…. Who isn’t a permanent part of my life. Who’s just…. in it for one night.” 

“What?” 

“Jeonghan you’re the kind who needs a new woman every night and I’m not interested in being a part of that long list-”

“Did you not hear a word I said last night?” 

“You told me to learn how to say no.” You raised your hands. “I’ve learnt it and this is me saying no. “ You let out a deep, determined breath. “I don’t want this.” 

Jeonghan stared at you for a minute before his eyes fell to the floor. 

“If that’s what you want.” 

And with that he walked past you, finishing everything just as easily as it started. 

Strangely, the rest of the day, Jeonghan didn’t behave any differently than he usually did. You expected him to be mad or at least upset but quite frankly, he seemed unbothered. You did notice though that he ordered his own food for lunch and seemed particularly cautious about how he was around you in your personal space. Gone was the Jeonghan who liked to lean in to say the simplest of things. 

His lack of botheration though, particularly bothered you. From the things he had said and the way he had behaved, it seemed like he wanted you as much as you wanted him so how was it so easy for him to put so much distance between the two of you when it was excruciatingly painful for you to stay even a foot away from him? How was he able to be so calm and casual, like you didn’t just completely cast him aside? How did it not matter to him that you didn’t want him to be a part of your life? 

It was because of all this consistent overthinking that you could only manage to keep yourself away from Jeonghan for about five hours, till around sunset. Finding a pack of condoms in the bag of food he brought from the supermarket was probably what finally set you off. 

“What is wrong with you?” You threw the pack onto the couch beside him.

Jeonghan glanced at the pack, then at you. “Based on last night’s conversation, I assumed certain things about today, so I thought that was a sensible purchase.” 

“Exactly, why aren’t you more upset?” You crossed your arms. “I told you I wanted to last night, you even prepared for it, then in the very last second, I said no-” 

“That’s exactly why I’m not upset.” Sighing, Jeonghan stood. “Y/n, I’m glad you said no. I’m happy you learnt to say it. I couldn't care less that I’m the first victim of this newfound voice, I’m just happy you found it.” 

You blinked at him.

“I know you’re thinking about the future and that’s fair. I don’t know how long I can be here or if I will be forced to be on the run again, or what really is in store for me but I’m just happy that even if I’m not there, you will be able to respect yourself the way I do. That you won’t compromise with what you want for what others want from you-” 

Strangely overwhelmed, you pulled him by his shirt and claimed his breath with a kiss. Almost instantly, Jeonghan kissed you back, hands gripping your waist, mouth ravenously capturing yours like the five hours you were apart were unbearable for him too. 

“Wait.” He pulled back when the loss of breath somehow brought him back to his senses. “Y/n what-” 

“Fuck me Jeonghan.” 

“Didn’t you say-” 

“I take it back.” 

“Y/n.” Jeonghan pulled away, holding you at an arm's distance. “Don’t do things you’ll regret.” 

“But I want this.” You kissed him again, muttering against his mouth. “I want you.” 

Jeonghan clearly, if anything, was a man. The moment you whispered a soft please, grinding your hip against his, he smashed his lips onto yours again, refusing to break away even though the two of you could barely find footing as you stumbled to your room. He only parted when the back of his knees hit your bed, forcing him to sit down and he looked up at you between the tresses falling into his eyes. You pushed it back, running the back of your hand along his cheek. 

“I wish the world looked at me the way you do.” 

“If anyone else looked at you this way,” Jeonghan raised his eyebrows. “I’m afraid it's going to be the last thing they ever look at.” 

You laughed rolling your eyes. “A little admiration isn’t a crime.” 

“If admiration is what you want, then I shall bend the will of every man in the city into doing so.” He smirked, attempting to bite your fingers lingering by his lips. “Let me properly show you mine first.” 

As he tugged on your shirt you obediently pulled it over your head as he stripped out of his own. It wasn’t the first time the two of you were seeing each other shirtless but there was a strange charged energy rippling between you now, one that was almost impossible to ignore. As you bent down to kiss him again, his hands found the hooks of your bra, unclasping them as you quickly dragged it down your arms, tossing it somewhere. His hand ran up the insides of your thigh, a jolt running through you when his fingers grazed over your clit. As you gasped, he took the chance to pull you closer by the leg, running his mouth below your belly button. 

“Jeonghan, haven’t we had enough foreplay?” You sighed, throwing your head back as he marked your skin, slowly pulling both your shorts and underwear in one go. “We’ve been doing this for days, let’s just get to it please.” 

“To what?” Feigning innocence he smirked, running his tongue along his teeth. 

“Fucking.” You pushed him back into the bed. “Fuck me Jeonghan. Properly. Your dick inside me kinds.”

Jeonghan raised himself on his elbows, laughing. “Look at you, using your big girl words.” 

Kicking off the rest of your clothes, you attempted to straddle him when he pulled you into the mattress and in a flash, you were lying on the bed and he was towering over you instead. Sticking his hand in his pocket, he pulled out a condom and threw it at you. 

“Open it.” 

Holding the wrapper between your teeth, you ripped it open as fast as you could, earning a tutting noise from Jeonghan. 

“Y/n, you could make a hole like that.” 

You stared at him blankly, like you were supposed to understand what he was saying when he was standing there with his pants discarded, stroking himself. Your mouth was in a strange combination of being dry but also somehow almost drooling. Almost the same way you wanted him both in your mouth and rearranging your organs down under, all at once. Jeonghan chuckled at your inability to function as he gently grabbed the latex from you and rolled it over his length. You shouldn’t have expressed so much eagerness to have him fuck you - you could’ve felt every vein and ridge you were seeing in your mouth first but that thought dissipated the moment Jeonghan hovered over you, grabbing you by the jaw. Almost reflexively, your mouth opened for him, allowing him to slide his thumb in as you earnestly sucked it, hoping his smirk would turn into the hunger to feel your lips around him. As much as Jeonghan did tell you to ask for what you want, you had a feeling if you told him just how desperate you were to have him fuck your mouth, he would never let you live it down. 

“I know what you want.” Jeonghan spoke under his breath as his hand trailed down your body, slipping between your legs. “But I want this a lot more. Is that okay?” 

Okay? You nodded immediately - it was absolutely okay. You just wanted to be full of him one way or another. Jeonghan shook his head.

“Words baby.” He slid his thumb in, almost embarrassingly easily, as he stared at his finger disappear inside you. “Although this is telltale, we will do whatever you want.” He leaned over, pressing his forehead against yours. “I’ll give you whatever you want.” 

“You.” You breathed out, “However, wherever-” 

And the words died on your tongue when he swiftly pulled his finger out and immediately entered you, gently pushing in till he bottomed out. Chest heaving, you could feel yourself panting as your body tried to adjust to his girth. Jeonghan groaned into your ear as your walls fluttered around him, still getting accustomed to the stretch. 

“I knew you’d feel good.” 

“Y-yeah?”

“You feel fucking perfect.” Jeonghan pulled back just a little, his hips setting a slow rhythm. “I could be in you forever.”

Before a proud smile could even fully form on your face, Jeonghan picked up the pace, making your lips part with a moan. 

“I….Oh god.” You whined, trying to find your words in between his continuous strokes. “I….. didn’t think you were a missionary kind of guy.” 

Jeonghan chuckled as he ran his hand down your leg and pulled your knee up so he could grip your thigh. “I want to see you cum.” Sighing, he bit on your lower lip, tugging it between his teeth. “I want to see how I make you feel.” 

“So fucking good.” You muttered against his mouth, finding your hips moving against his on their own accord. You wanted to make him feel good so you wrapped your legs around his waist and ran your nails down his back and wow did that work like a charm because Jeonghan’s rhythm instantly faltered, as did his grip on your thigh, surely bruising it. 

“Oh Y/n,” He slipped his hand between your bodies, fingers finding your clit when you groaned at the touch. “I can play the game too.” 

“Whatever you do, just- fuck.” You squirmed as Jeonghan seemed to have the perfect combination of thrusts and rubbing circles. “Just don’t stop.” 

“Never.” He groaned, continuing to make you fall apart as you felt your back arch off the mattress, toes curling in pleasure. Jeonghan latched his mouth on your bared neck, muttering, “Yes, yes cum for me.” 

And you did, finally, after days of desiring to be railed by this man, you came around him, body keening under his weight, eyes nearly rolling back. As you slowly panted back to reality, Jeonghan, who had long pulled out of you and rolled off you onto his side, was looking at you intently. Embarrassed that this was not the first but the second time he managed to break you in minutes, you covered your face with your hands, earning Jeonghan’s laugh. 

“Why are you hiding?” He tried to pry your hands away, only to fail. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to look more pretty but fuck you looked so beautful when you came.” 

“Jeonghan please….”  

“Please what?” He chuckled, shifting beside you. “I’ve seen all there is to.”

You shook your head, choosing the darkness over meeting his eyes when suddenly, you felt him crawl between your legs and his mouth descend on you as he spread them apart. Considering how sensitive you were, your hands immediately flew to his head, eyes widening as he licked your arousal, looking at you victoriously. 

“I can’t….” You muttered and he pulled away, licking his lips, sitting back on his heels. Eyes running over his flushed face and body, you noticed the marks of your nail on his bicep, and also the fact that he was still hard as ever. 

“You didn’t finish.” You sat up, crossing your legs, only just realizing.

“I usually need a lot more than a few minutes to finish.” He pursed his lips but you knew he was trying to hold back a smile. A mocking one, at how easily you seemed to cum. 

“Then let’s go again.” You cocked your head. “…. On one condition.” 

“And what is that?” 

You let out a deep breath. “Take off your condom.” 

Jeonghan’s eyebrows shot up. “You can’t be serious.” 

“Considering you sleep with a new woman every night, I’m guessing you always use protection.” 

“Always, that's an unsaid rule” 

“But I’m not them, so their rules can’t apply to me.” It was your turn to smirk. “We’ll see how long you last when you fuck me raw.” 

“Look at you, challenging me.” Jeonghan smiled like he was proud. “But it's not safe Y/n-” 

“What’s life without a little recklessness?” You rolled your eyes earning Jeonghan’s laugh. “Besides, that condom probably already has a hole from my teeth so-” 

“So I’ll grab another one.” 

“Yoon Jeonghan, if you leave this bed, this ends.” You crossed your arms. “Your choice.” 

“You’re not giving me much of a choice really.” 

“I know.” You grinned. “Now might also be a good time to add that though I might not be one of your regular nightly encounters, you should know that I heard you almost every night.” You let your voice go softer. “And I liked it….. A lot.” 

Finally, finally, Jeonghan’s expression darkened the way you wanted it to. “I suspected.” 

“And I’m confirming.” You shrugged. “And by the way, I also have an IUD so I’m not sure what you’re waiting for.” 

Jeonghan paused for a minute before he finally spoke. “On your knees.” 

You shook your head, extending your hand and pulling his condom off, tossing the latex in a nearby bin. “In my mouth.” 

“I don’t think so, princess.” Jeonghan not so gently pushed you back into the mattress, your back barely hitting it before he flipped you over and pulled you onto your knees. “I prefer blowjobs as a wake up call. This time of the night, I like to prove bratty girls wrong.” 

You laughed, looking over your shoulder. “But I want to see your face when I prove you wrong.” 

Knowing exactly what you wanted, Jeonnghan sighed before lying down on his back next to you, allowing you to move over and straddle him. 

“My bet is 9 minutes.” You ran your hand down his chest. “I don’t think you can last till double digits.” 

“We both know you won’t last even half of that Y/n-” He smirked. “-given your track record.” 

Deciding to prove him wrong with actions not words, you aligned his tip under you and sank down his length with a slow, deep moan. The stretch in this new angle felt different but it also let you take him further in, deeper than you had even imagined it was possible. 

Maybe Jeonghan was right about you breaking first. Given the way he made you feel so full, the way you felt every inch of his bare length in your insides, you knew it was only a matter of time. 

Or maybe not. Evidently, this was the first time Jeonghan was ever fucking someone raw. You could tell by the way he sounded with every drag of your walls against his dick - the struggling breathy moans that he was trying not to let out as you picked up the pace. 

You knew if you chose to grind your hips against his, it would help reach those spots in you a whole lot better, sending waves of pleasure through your body but you were determined to make Jeonghan cum first. That’s why you supported yourself with your palms on his chest, moving your hips up and down along his length and momentarily, Jeonghan gripped your waist tight, encouraging you to move just like that. At least until he realised he was getting too close to cumming and too close to losing. Changing strategy, he grabbed and squeezed your boobs instead, trying to ignore his own approaching high. When you responded with a whimper, satisfied, he dragged his hand down, bringing attention to your ignored clit. 

“That’s cheating.” You panted, throwing your head back, feeling the coil tighten in your stomach. 

Jeonghan snickered, shaking his head, refusing to stop his ministrations. If there was one thing he always took pride in, it was his ability to capitalize on every woman’s weakness - her clit. 

Though you were feeling your legs shake and your arms were struggling to hold your weight, you didn’t stop, ignoring your breaths which were getting fast and shallow. 

Jeonghan however, immediately picked up on it, reaching for your wrist and pulling you, making you fall over, onto him. 

“Hey,” He tried to get a good look at your face. “You okay?” 

“Tired.” You mumbled. “I’ve never been on top.” 

“Let me.” He whispered, dropping a kiss on your cheek as you nodded. 

Grabbing your ass with both his hands he raised it, guiding your movements and snapping his hips up at the same time. You on the other hand, let him have his way with you, busying yourself, alternating leaving marks all over his neck and shoulder and moaning sweetly into his ear. Both things seemed to rile him effectively as his pace became merciless and erratic, pounding into you the way you had only dreamed of for days. With a few more rough thrusts, you felt your walls tighten around him as the coil in you finally snapped and thanks to your tight constriction around his length, Jeonghan too came inside you, ropes of white filling you as he groaned in your ear. 

As the two of you slowly came down from your high, Jeonghan wrapped his arms around you, dropping a sweet kiss in your hair. You snuggled into his neck, ignoring the feeling of your mixed releases leaking out of you. 

“That was definitely more than 9 minutes.” Jeonghan pointed out. 

“I lasted more than half.” 

“So neither of us won?” Jeonghan hummed.

You pulled yourself up, looking at him. “Or maybe…. we need round three to decide.” 

“You read my mind.” He smirked, quickly flipping you onto your back, ignoring your shriek of surprise as he hovered over you. The night was still so so young.

Day 10 of 10 

By the time you came around, the night had passed and the sun had begun to rise. No wonder it felt a whole lot warmer even though you were butt naked, covered by just a thin blanket thrown over you. It was the morning sun and also Jeonghan, who was comfortably snuggled in your arms, his breath soft against the crook of your neck. As you shifted from him just a little, trying to glance at his beautiful face, he pulled away, grumbling as he rolled onto his back, still fast asleep. Raising yourself on your elbow, you glanced at him. 

Last night was…..something. You never really admitted to yourself in the last few days that you had thought about sleeping with Jeonghan a few hundred times, but now you did and you also had to admit that it was nowhere how you thought it would have gone. Maybe rounds two, three, four and how many ever that followed did match up to that but somehow, it was round one that was playing in your mind. The unexpected softness from him, the way he was looking into your eyes….. It all felt a bit strange. Like it was something you would do. 

On the other hand, the wild person you expected Jeonghan to be, ended up coming out of you. The kinds of things you said? The kinds of things you did? It was so uncharacteristic yet….. It didn’t feel wrong. In fact, in a very long time, you were feeling strangely liberated. Like there was no fairytale ending written for you and surprisingly you didn’t mind that. 

But speaking of happy endings…..

You determinedly pulled away your blanket covering Jeonghan, glancing at how his boxers were on again. Maybe he put them on after you had promptly passed out last night, completely worn out and exhausted, just the way he seemed to have cleaned you up before tucking you in. Pulling your hair up into a bun, you got between his legs, pulling down the elastic of his underwear, taking his dick into your hands. Surprisingly, Jeonghan didn’t stir awake, or even move an inch so you promptly began stroking it, quickening your movements, especially when you slowly felt him harden under your touch. It was only when you spat in your hand and began to jerk him off more steadily that he finally came around, eyes slowly blinking open. 

“First thing in the morning?” He smiled sleepily. “You’re insatiable.” 

“Rise and shine.” You grinned. “Someone said something about a wake up call.” 

“I said I’d like your mouth.” He tucked his hand below his head looking at you with what you could only comprehend as a mix of lust and fondness. 

Smiling, you got down on your stomach, wrapping your mouth around his tip eliciting a shaky breath from him. You pulled back with a wet pop and the lick of the lips. “And it's all yours.” 

Jeonghan chuckled, whispering, “You’re going to be the end of me princess.” 

Little did he know.... you actually were. 

The warm water on your skin was much needed after an unexpectedly long morning. Actually, it was very much expected considering the way you woke Jeonghan up. It was only natural that he would return the favor to the best of his abilities and that somehow spiraled from one thing to another, causing morning to turn into afternoon. Your stomach let out a low rumble, reminding you that you were hungry and that you should have put water to boil so you could make some ramyeon for lunch. You knew Jeonghan particularly enjoyed soggy noodles and it was also the quickest meal you could have given how much energy was exhausted in the last 12 or so hours.

As you stepped out of the shower, dried yourself and slipped into a comfortable pair of clothes, conspicuously leaving the top two buttons open, you found Jeonghan standing in the kitchen behind the stove. 

“You put the water to boil?” You smiled relieved. “Thank god-” 

“You kidnapped me?” Jeonghan turned to you, eyes flashing the pain of betrayal. In his hand was his phone, the one you had safely stashed in the drawer and on the screen was a message from his assistant. One that said the money in exchange for Jeonghan was ready. “All these days, you let me stay in your house because you were holding me for ransom?” 

“Jeonghan I know what it looks like and I can explain-” 

“All this for what? To buy your grandmother’s shop again?” 

“No….” You stepped up shaking your head. “I didn’t even know about the shop till you were with me. Jeonghan, I didn’t do this for money-” 

“I should have known when your mother said she had no brother.” Jeonghan shook his head like he couldn’t believe himself. “Keeping me here as a twisted revenge for your incarcerated uncle, why did I overlook how stupid that was?”

“Okay that was a lie, but I didn’t make it up.” You tried to hold his hand, but he pulled away hurtfully. “Jeonghan, it was the boys…. I just went with whatever they told me to do. Things just turned out this way, none of us planned for it to happen and…. I wasn’t going to go through with this plan anyways, I was going to call it off today-” 

“Why?” Jeonghan looked at you impassively. “What changed in 10 days?” 

You blinked at him, words lost. “I….. I got to know you. I saw who you could be if you distanced yourself from all that crime and lived a normal life. I always believe people deserve a second chance and I thought so do you. And we didn’t even get a first chance-” 

You turned at the sound of the doorbell before glancing at the clock. A part of you wanted to ignore it and clear the air with Jeonghan but when it rang urgently again, you sighed, turning to him. 

“I think it’s the boys, I’m sorry, just give me a second.” 

Rushing, you half ran over to the door quickly opening it, shaking your head. “Guys, things are a mess-” 

But it seemed like the bigger mess had in fact just arrived. Standing before you was the one person you did not want to see, especially now - Bohyun. 

“W-what are you doing here? And how did you even find me?” 

Uninvited, Bohyun stepped in walking past you. “Your mother….” He turned to you, clearing his throat. “I assumed when you left that you had gone overseas, to Paris maybe, your dream city. But your mother said she met you and your new boyfriend so I figured you were in town and considering how your grandmother moved in with your mom, I guessed that you would be here.” He looked at you painfully. “Is… Is it true? Do you actually have a boyfriend now?” 

“Bohyun….” You ran your fingers through your hair stressed. There was too much going on at once. Your past and your potential future were at crossroads you had never imagined. “I don’t know what to tell you-” 

“Maybe try telling the truth Y/n.” Jeonghan walked out of the kitchen, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Don’t you think it’s time?” 

“You….” Bohyun’s eyes widened as they fell on Jeonghan and he immediately stepped back, pulling you behind him. “You’re Yoon Jeonghan.” 

“Finally.” Jeonghan scoffed. “Someone knows.” 

“Y/n, I don’t know what this man has been telling you but he is a criminal.” Bohyun looked at you over his shoulder. “His posters are all over the city, he’s wanted by the cops-” 

“She knows.” Jeonghan's voice shook, just a little. “She knows exactly who I am and exactly what I’m worth.” 

“Jeonghan please-” 

“You know?” Bohyun turned to you, shocked. “You know who he is and you chose to be with him?” 

“Bohyun…. y-you have no idea what’s going on here.” 

“Oh I do.” He let out a breath like this was all ridiculous. “You’re so desperate for a man, that you would throw yourself at literally anyone-” 

And before he could ever complete that sentence, Jeonghan turned him by the shoulder and landed a hard punch straight at his jaw.

“Jeonghan!” 

As Bohyun stumbled, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, he snarled at the other man, throwing a punch on his own, straight in his midriff, making him buckle over. As the two men furiously threw hands, bruising and bleeding, you stood frozen, unable to watch them or stop them. Before you knew it though, within minutes, Jeonghan had Bohyun on his knees, the latter struggling to keep his eyes open, just one blow away from being knocked out. As Jeonghan raised his hand, you quickly put yourself between the two men. 

“Jeonghan no.” 

“Did you not hear the way he spoke about you?” He looked uncharacteristically furious, breathing hard. “How dare he-” 

“That’s between Bohyun and I. You shouldn’t have come in between.” 

Jeonghan lowered his hand, looking at you like he was jolted. Standing up staggering, Bohyun wiped the blood from his mouth, hissing.

“You heard her. Clearly, she picks me.” He smiled victoriously. “The only place you belong is in jail, you bastard, where the fuck is my phone-” 

“Y/n, after all he’s done to you, you’re really siding with him?” 

“Jeonghan, I think you should leave.” Your voice left you in a soft whisper as he looked at you unbelievably hurt. “Please just…. it’s best that you go.” 

Tearing his eyes away from you, Jeonghan let out a shaky breath before slowly nodding. “If that’s what you want.” 

And with that, without so much as sparing you a glance, he walked past you and out of your house as you watched him disappearing from your sight. When you finally let out the breath you were holding, Bohyun put his arm around your shoulder. 

“I knew you still loved me.” He rubbed your arm. “You and I were always meant to be, sweetheart.” 

Tongue in your cheek you sighed before removing Bohyun’s arm from around you. Turning to him, with everything you had in your being, you slapped him right across the face. Bohyun stumbled at the impact, looking shell shocked. 

“The only thing you and I are, is over.” You spat, the words bitter in your mouth. “How could you even think of coming back to me?” 

“Babe-” 

“Don't call me that.” You pushed him away. “You're right. I always did choose you. I always put you above me, but you? Forget loving me, you didn't have the minimum decency to respect me.”

“Y/n, I said sorry, I really am sorry.”

“Me too.” You stood your ground. “I’m sorry to myself. I'm sorry I gave you the chance to push me around like this. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for myself sooner. But I'm done now. I won't be making the same mistakes.”

“Y/n….” Bohyun held your arm softer than he ever had in the many years you were together. “I know I was wrong. The last few months without you weren't the same, I realised how bad I was to you and how much I need you please don't do this. Please come back…..what we had was so good-” 

“Good for you Bohyun, but not good enough for me.” You pulled your arm away. “I won't take you back this time, or ever. We're done for good.” 

Bohyun stared at the floor, coming to terms with your words.

“It's because of Yoon Jeonghan isn't it?” His voice turned into a nasty snarl. “You would choose a criminal over me-”

“You still don't get it, do you?” You looked at him with disbelief. “It's not him I choose, it's myself.” 

“But-” 

“I'm done explaining. I don't owe you anymore conversation, I didn't even owe you this.” You sighed, walking up to the door, holding it open. “Get out of my house.”

Bohyun tried to meet your eye as he slowly walked up to you while you refused to so much as look at him. When he realised you were not going to change your mind, he stepped out of the house and you closed the door behind him with a resounding slam. Holding your racing heart you leaned against it, unable to believe what you just did. 

Something in you felt free yet your heart was strangely heavy - you got rid of Bohyun but you lost Jeonghan in the process. Unwilling to give him up, you quickly grabbed your jacket and phone and rushed out of the house, calling your friends. Hopefully he hadn't gotten too far. 

You needed to see him again. You needed to tell him everything truthfully.

As the night sky darkened, you walked into your apartment slowly, finding yourself alone in it after days.

You didn’t find Jeonghan anywhere. When you told the boys about all that happened, they were beyond understanding, immediately helping you look for him too. But alas, he was nowhere to be found. 

As you sank into the couch, heartbroken over how things ended between you two, Seungkwan's message popped on your phone screen. 

Y/n, I think you should see the news.

Panicking, you grabbed your remote and turned on the TV only to see your worst nightmare - Jeonghan being handcuffed and led away by the cops. 

“Mafia criminal and mastermind Yoon Jeonghan surrendered a few hours ago to the city police force after nearly 15 days of absconding. The precise reason for why he turned himself in and where he was all this while is unknown but the police are investigating the case. Yoon Jeonghan escaped prison on the 15th of August after tricking two security guards with a severe stomach ache and requesting for medical assistance…..” 

The rest of the words faded away as you watched the footage of Jeonghan being escorted away. The pain of betrayal was still flashing in his eyes. Everything was truly over.

10 days later. 

Jeonghan leaned against the wall of his cell, staring into the darkness. He knew it was well into the night but sleep wasn't coming to him as always. Every time he closed his eyes, he could only see you, every time he opened them he instinctively looked for you - you refused to get out of his head. 

When Jeonghan saw you for the first time, admittedly he thought you were incredibly beautiful but he saw you as more of a conquest - you had that sweet, innocent expression but there was something darker lingering behind your eyes. It made him want to tease it out of you, expose you for what you really were but with each day, when he saw how simple and soft you were, that desire in him died. In his world everything was as corrupt as could be and you were so good to him, Jeonghan knew that little uncommon goodness had to be preserved, remain untouched. That's why though he itched to get under your skin, he tried his best to keep his distance.

That was of course until you decided to kiss him - after that Jeonghan knew keeping his hands off you was the hardest thing he ever had to do. It wasn’t just because he was uncharacteristically attracted to you, normally it was girls in skin tight leather pants and low neck dresses that caught his attention but because he……liked you. He liked watching you work, he liked spending time with you, he liked the idea of a quiet, uneventful life with you. He had spent all his life chasing something that made him feel complete, not even knowing what it was, until those 10 days with you - that was what he wanted. 

But clearly you didn’t want him. Though he was unable to accept it at the moment, eventually, he believed you when you said it was never your intention to kidnap him. When he discovered his ringing phone in the drawer due to his assistant’s consistent calling and found out that his price was a hundred thousand dollars Jeonghan was beyond hurt. But you were right - you didn’t know about your grandmother’s shop until the last few days. His assistant too confirmed that it was more the boy's plan than yours and that it was definitely not intentional because it was so poorly made that thanks to his phone, his assistant knew Jeonghan's location the whole time - he was only letting the boys get away with it so Jeonghan had a safe place to hide till things fell in place.

Regardless of everything that happened, it still didn’t mean that you wanted him. Especially when that ex of yours came into your life yet again and you so easily asked him to leave - Jeonghan received the message loud and clear. He was not wanted. 

By you at least. The city police definitely wanted him and he knew he had to be on the run yet again but with a part of him left behind in your home, he didn’t know how he was supposed to move away and move on. All he could do was hopelessly wish that you had left a part of you with him too and didn’t always just appear before him like a figment of his imagination. Even now his eyes were playing tricks, showing him the image of you crouched outside his cell bars. You were wearing a police uniform though - Jeonghan softly chuckled. Roleplay was a new element in his imagination. 

Or not. 

Because as Jeonghan stared harder, expecting the mirage of you to disappear, you smiled at him with a small wave and the whisper of his name…..You were actually here. 

Panicking, Jeonghan quickly got to his feet rushing towards you. As his fingers touched your face, confirming your presence, he shook his head. 

“Oh no…. Y/n, what are you doing here?” 

“Hello to you too.” You chuckled. “And what do you mean? I’m here to rescue you.” 

“Rescue me?” 

You nodded. “We’re gonna break out of this prison.” 

“You’re insane.” You grinned as Jeonghan looked at you with disbelief. “You shouldn’t even be here and I can’t run away from here-” 

“You did it last time.” 

“Precisely why. The security is at an all time high, they’re not going to let the same mistake happen twice.” 

“You think I don’t know that?” You raised your eyebrows at him. “Why do you think it took me 10 days to come to you? I was doing my research and figuring out how to get you out of here, and I have found a foolproof way.” 

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes. “And what is that?”

“Just follow my lead.” You pulled out a pair of keys from your pocket, opened his cell door and thrust a package into his hand as you walked in. “Change into this quickly. We only have 17 minutes till the security footage is on loop. We need to get out of here before that.” 

As he confusedly dressed himself, you pulled out a can of spray paint from your pocket and scribbled a message on the wall, one that Jeonghan could barely read thanks to the dimness of the cell. Tossing the can aside, you too quickly stripped out of your uniform and changed into clothes similar to Jeonghan’s.

“Don’t stare, Yoon.” You smiled, pulling your hair into a bun, tucking it under the hat. “This is not the first or last time you’re gonna see me naked.” 

As Jeonghan tried to process all the information, you quickly gathered all the discarded clothes with one hand and held his hand with the other, rushing out of the cell. At the end of the corridor was a cleaning cart in which you promptly dumped all the clothes and asked him to follow you. As you led the way to the washrooms cautiously, keeping an eye on the patrolling security, Jeonghan realised the two of you were wearing the uniforms of the cleaning staff. Finally, you led him to a ladies washroom, promptly locking it behind you. 

“Y/n, what are we doing-” 

“Look, that’s the cleaning supplies closet, inside it is a door that leads to the older wing of this prison that is now undergoing renovation. This door was supposed to be locked from the other side but I already broke it open in the morning.” 

“Morning?” 

“I came in with a bunch of medical volunteers for the camp but I never left the premises - I’ve been hiding here all day. Now we’ve to get through this door and cross the construction site without being seen by the patrolling guards in-” You glanced at your watch. “-8 minutes where the boys are waiting with transport. If we don’t, the guards are gonna figure out you’re missing and security will tighten and we will never be able to get out. If you have any other questions, I promise I’ll answer all of them once we get in the car, okay?” 

Letting out an unsure breath, Jeonghan nodded, following through with your plan to the T. In all the years Jeonghan had been in crime, he had drawn up several heists and master plans but this….. This was probably the most meticulous and well thought out plan he had ever seen. It was to the point it actually both impressed and terrified him that you, the girl who was hiding behind her three friends the first time he tried to talk to you, were the one who came up with it. When the two of you finally stepped out of the last fence, Jeonghan looked back at prison in awe - he thought this time, he was back here for good but when you called out his name and he turned to you, Jeonghan knew the only place he belonged was with you. 

As the two of you trudged through the woods, hand in hand, sirens began to go off in the prison behind you, making you pick up speed, only stopping at the sight of a white car and a white bike beside the very stressed Seokmin, Seungkwan and Soonyoung. The boys sighed in relief as the two of you approached, quickly giving you two a new set of clothes to change into, ushering you into the car. As the two of you began to do so yet again, Jeonghan looked at you intently. 

“Come on Jeonghan, the faster we move from here the better.” 

“Why did you do this? Why did you save me?” 

“Why did you surrender?” 

“Because….” Jeonghan sighed. “I didn’t want your ex to have the power over you with the information that you were housing a criminal. But if I was already in their custody, they wouldn’t really care about where I was on the days I was missing.” 

You smiled at him softly. “So much from a guy who didn’t understand what it meant to put others before yourself.” 

“I told you, you bring out the best in me.” He laughed. “Evidently, I do bring out the worst in you. This was the most badass thing ever, I would’ve never imagined you would do it.” 

“Well, someone did tell me I shouldn’t be afraid to ask or go for what I want.” You leaned back against the door. “I’m done sitting and taking whatever life hands me with the hope that it will be my fairytale ending. I’m gonna take things into my own hands now.” 

“Successfully you mean.” Jeonghan smirked at you. “You had been trying to take things in your hands for quite a while. Like the first few days you tried so hard to get me arrested again?” 

“You knew about that??” 

“It was cute, how you were trying to do the right thing. I should have known you would have never held me hostage for money.” 

“I was going to tell you about it before things spiraled. I had to get you out of my house first so you were at least safe from Bohyun, even if that meant you hated me.” 

“I don’t hate you.” Jeonghan confessed. “I never can. You showed me what I truly wanted from life.” 

“As did you. Which is why I ended things with Bohyun once and for all and now I’m here with you, for whatever adventure it is that’s ahead of us.” 

“Adventure?” Jeonghan looked at you surprised. “What do you mean?” 

“I managed to track down your assistant when I received the papers that I apparently own my grandmother's shop again.” Jeonghan returned your accusatory expression with a sheepish one. “He told me that the last many days, he had been working on liquidating your assets. He also managed to arrange for you to get out of the country and go elsewhere.” You smiled at him. “And I convinced him to let me tag along with you."

“No…..” Jeonghan shook his head. “No you’re not leaving behind your life here and following me around-” 

“Jeonghan, I have no life here.” You sighed. “I always thought I was the kind who wanted something safe and secure but you made me see that deep down I’ve been craving for something more, something stimulating and exciting. I genuinely do want to go with you.” 

“Your mom?” 

“Is more than happy to learn that her daughter is going to Milan to explore her fashion dreams and that my grandmother can move back to her old apartment.” 

“You….. You’re really sure?” 

“Never been more sure.” You reached for his hand, holding it. Jeonghan stroked the back of your hand softly, a smile growing on his face. It did seem like he wanted to say something, until Soonyoung knocked on the window urgently, ushering you out. Putting on the last of your clothes, the two of you stepped out. 

“If the guards send people out to look for Jeonghan, we might get caught here.” Seokmin tapped his foot nervously. 

“Yeah, we need to leave as soon as possible.” Seungkwan added, looking equally scared. 

“Relax,” You rolled your eyes. “They’re not going to find us. They’re not even going to try to look.” 

All four boys looked at you skeptically but it was Jeonghan that spoke up, “Y/n, What did you write on that wall?” 

“Fool you once, shame on you. Fool you twice, more shame for you.” You shrugged, quoting yourself. “I basically wrote in short that if they knew what was good for them, they would keep their mouth shuts and allow the public to think you were still in their captivity rather than admit that you fooled them twice in the span of a month and they are incapable of keeping their prisoners in check. I might have also added that you will not be creating any trouble anymore, rest assured, this secret is best buried in the walls of the prison itself.” 

As your friends stared at you with hung jaws, Jeonghan laughed like he couldn’t believe his ears. “Who are you?” 

“You should’ve seen her the last 10 days.” Soonyoung mumbled. “All the planning, the plotting, she even stitched all these uniforms from scratch, it was low-key terrifying.” 

“I want to know all the details of this master plan.” Jeonghan looked proud. “Every single one of them.” 

“And you will, we have a long journey to Italy.” You clapped your hands, then held it out to Seugnkwan. “Bike keys.” 

“You don’t want the car?” 

“Bike is more fun.” You said casually, reaching for the helmets. “And I’m going to drive.” 

Jeonghan raised his eyebrow impressed, “So the princess is going to rescue me on her big white…. bike.” 

“Guess we got our fairytale ending after all.” You laughed, getting on as your friends rolled their eyes and got into the car. Pulling Jeonghan closer, you finally kissed him, before mumbling against his lips. “Or I guess this time, I’m really kidnapping a mafia boss.” 

a/n - I cannot explain how much trouble the 1000 blocks per post limit caused. I hope the spacing inconsistency was overlooked oops! Don't forget to leave you thoughts and opinions about the story! This one took a lot of time and effort to make :)

[rockthingsbymeg]

(Not so) ruined surprises

Guns N’ Roses Christmas special - fic no. 3

Pairing: Axl Rose x female reader

Summary: based off the prompt -  “What no that’s not daddy, that’s Santa”

Info: 1455 words; fluff; Axl is the father he deserves to be;

A/N: Hey guys, since I’ve literally forgotten to post these, I’m going to give you guys a little spam through the day with the ones I’ve written already <3

It was the first Christmas Y/N and Axl spent with their daughter. She was only eleven months old, so small and fragile, and she was the absolute light in their lives. She had fiery red hair like her father, and his somewhat soft and yet shape facial feature overall, but her eyes and her lips were just like Y/N's.

She was a curious kid, always crawling or speeding around in her tiny legs until her parents caught her. They could not leave her alone for a second, especially during Christmas, as there was a huge chance someone would accidentally step on her.

Y/N's mother was entertaining her, sitting on the couch with her favourite toy and bouncing her gently on her legs, giving Axl the perfect opportunity to put his plan into practice.

As soon as his daughter had her attention on someone other than her parents, they both sneaked upstairs. Axl wasted no time getting into his Santa Outfit, fake belly and all, while Y/N helped him out, giggling at the sight of her husband doing his best to hide his copper hair, but small strands always falling from beneath the white, curly wig.

“Can you please help me?” His voice was a mix between laughter and frustration, which made Y/N laugh even more before she walked up to him and did her best to get every hair underneath the wig. “Do you think she'll like this?” His smile was wide as he looked at himself in the mirror, completely unrecognizable under the suit.

“Honey, you've seen how happy she gets at the mall when she sees someone dressed as Santa. She'll love it. Especially when you give her all those presents.” Y/N's tone was soft and reassuring, eyeing the red bag filled with her baby's presents.

“God, I hope so. Otherwise, I'm just making a huge fucking fool of myself...” He chuckled, blowing a curl from his face only for it to fall right back into place.

“You are.” She laughed, pecking his lips, and finally letting go of the wig, not one red hair picking from underneath it. “But it'll be worth it.”

Axl turned to the mirror and eyed himself up and down, putting in a small pair of fake, round glasses and then turning to Y/N, extending his arms and giving her a proud smile. “How do I look?”

Y/N's eyes raked Axl's body, taking every single careful detail in. His suit was absolutely perfect, enormous on his slender figure, as well as the boots on his feet. He had gone a long way to find the most perfect suit to surprise their little girl, and he sure had succeeded.

“You look perfect, Santa.” Her smile was genuine as she leaned over and pecked his lips, chuckling as the fake, white beard got in the way but not stopping them.

“Great.” He smiled back, stroking her arm gently and then tilting his head toward the door. “Now go ahead and go down, and I’ll be there in a while.”

Y/N nodded and smiled at him one last time before leaving their bedroom. The baby laughter echoing around the house warmed her heart more than she could ever explain, and her smile got twice as wide when she came down to see her daughter in her red little dress, crawling away from her grandmother as fast as she could.

Y/N made her way to her daughter, gently picking her up and poking her nose with the tip of her finger. “And where are you going, little girl?”

Her daughter pointed excitedly at the window, bouncing in her mother’s lap and smiling. “Snow!”

Y/N glanced out of the window to see their windowsills covered in snow and new flakes increasing the pile. “No, baby, you can’t go to the snow now.” Her daughter’s lips immediately curled into a frown, but Y/N knew exactly how to pick up her mood. “But now it’s gift time, sweetheart. And you know who gives us gifts right?” Her smile was just as wide as her daughter’s, who was once again bouncing on her mother's grip, snow completely forgotten upon hearing the word gifts.

“Santa! Santa!” Her big eyes immediately began looking around, so full of hope to see the big man in a red suit that always put a huge smile on her small lips.

“That's right, baby, Santa is coming. With all your gifts, ‘cause you've been a very good girl for mommy and daddy, haven't you?” Y/N began making her way closer to the tree, turning her daughter away from the staircase so Axl could come down without being seen.

He walked down short seconds later, having been hearing his girls talking downstairs so he'd have somewhat of a cue of when it was safe to go down. He made as little noise as he could coming down and walking out of the main door, ringing on the bell rather than going down the chimney. Surely their little daughter wouldn't care about those details, which he was extremely thankful for.

He closed the door and rang the bell, smiling as he heard Y/N's voice getting closer and closer, along with their daughter's as she continuously yelled Santa! at the top of her small lungs.

As soon as the front door was open, the little girl extended her arms towards him, bouncing in Y/N's tight grip, begging wirelessly to be picked up. Axl gladly picked his daughter up, making sure she wouldn't grab his fake beard and blow his cover, smile wide under the white hairs as he said in the lowest tone he could muster, yet still making it sweet “Ho, ho, ho! You must be Maya, am I right?”

His little girl nodded with all her might, though she had a small frown in her brows, her small eyes scanning Axl's face closely and intently.

“You know what I got for you, Maya?” He kept his tone, gently bouncing the girl on his arms in an attempt to bring her smile back, his own brows curling into a frown. “I got you a loooot of presents.” He said merrily, pointing to the big, red bag behind himself. “All for you.”

Maya didn't seem too excited about the gifts, not even when Axl picked the bag up and stepped inside the house, escaping the cold. He placed the bag on the floor again, opening it and letting his girl take a look at all the boxes inside, almost full to the top with toys and other gifts that she needed.

Her big eyes were still on him as she placed a hand on his cheek and looked carefully into his eyes, looking back at her mother and then pointing at him.

“What is it, baby? It’s Santa!” Y/N gently stroked her daughter's back and worriedly looked at her face, trying to understand what was wrong.

“No.” Her daughter shook her head quickly, looking at Axl and pushing her face closer to his, looking into his green eyes and letting her small index trace his lips. “Daddy.���

Y/N suppressed a booming laugh at the astonished look on her daughter’s face, shaking her head and taking her in her arms, pointing at Axl. “That's not daddy, sweety, that’s Santa.”

“No, daddy.” She protested, reaching forward towards her father and placing her finger rather harshly under his eye. “Green. Daddy green too.”

“Santa has green eyes as well, little girl.” Axl tried to keep the mask, but he knew it would be useless. Once their daughter got an idea in her head, it was impossible to convince her of anything else.

“Smell like daddy.” She protested once more, reaching for his beard and pulling it down before anyone could stop her. “Daddy!” Her smile was once again back in her face, her arms reaching for Axl one more time. “Daddy!”

No matter how hard they tried, no one could contain their laughter anymore. Axl picked his daughter in his arms and gave her a careful yet tight hug, stroking her soft hair under his fingertips before picking up the bag of presents and dragging it under the tree, sitting down with her and with Y/N by their side, letting his little girl roam through the bag and pick whatever caught her eye.

His head briefly turned to Y/N, watching her closely as her eyes were glued on their daughter, happily tearing wrapping paper apart and doing her best to open all the boxes, though she knew one of them would have to step in at a point and help her.

Before she could, however, Axl leaned down and pulled her for a gentle kiss, smiling so widely his cheeks truly hurt. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Merry Christmas, Axl.”

------

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, reblogs, comments and any kind of way you show me you liked this are endlessly appreciated💛

Requests are closed.

Taglist: @curly-hudson; @agroupiewhore; @littlemisscare-all; @metalheartofgold​

Check out my masterlists for more Guns N’ Roses content (here, here, and here) and everything else that I’ve posted to celebrate Christmas.

[gemalawashomestuck]

Gem, I saw the fic ask and I can't read that much text but I wanna know 4: do you have any ocs?

This could be homestuck ocs or personal ocs for your original works, or even something for another fandom idrc I'm just curious

If you don't have any you can just talk about dirkjohn bc ik you like them (or choose your fav thing from the actual ask game lol)

BHey! Honestly that's funny because...I didn't read it all either, just saw a few interesting questions and reblogged, heh.

But regarding 4...yeah I do! I actually have some in Homestuck, some for other fandoms (Pokemon and Warriors) as well as some personal ones. Answers below the cut because I got into it!

In Homestuck, I've got quite a few adopts that I snagged because I...cannot draw. My ability to draw is actually godawful. I love weird unconventional things that aren't supported by canon and...it shows. Some of them include a little Doom-aligned Cherub who lives on Alternia and disguises himself as a bronzeblood, a mutant naga troll with scales and bright green blood, a winged goldblood with wings covered in eyes (she's so cool), a bronze librarian with a gun, and a rainbow blooded mutant who gets out of culling on a technicality because they have fuchsia blood. There are a bunch more too and I don't have them super fleshed out but I'm still happy to talk about them if y'all want to hear.

I've also got a Pokemon fanfiction sitting in my drafts that would be a full ten anime seasons long. Yeah that's not an exaggeration. The main OC is named Phoenix, and she's kind of a modification of the canon protagonist Hilda (though, her adventure actually starts in Kalos). She's a weird girl who fucking loves Pokemon battling and has too much of a stubborn streak for anybody's good. By the end of the story, she's a multi-regional Champion with an Arceus and a match in ability in the form of N, who's the Hero of Ideals to her Hero of Truth and they've got a...complicated relationship. You...may be able to tell that I think the concept of Mary Sues is stupid. All her Pokemon are also kind of OCs, due to the detail in their personalities - a favorite of mine is a very old transfem and aroace Ho-Oh who played a major role in the creation of the world and who she accidentally calls 'mom' at least twice.

My other major Pokemon AU, with a working title of Many Legends, also has a good few! The main protagonist is a young professor who specializes in Legendary Pokemon, which in this AU exist in multiples and can be caught by regular people (with a permit that's pretty hard to get, and some Legendaries require additional permits beyond the basic one). Her name is Professor Wisteria, and she's very chill but treats literal death gods like adorable kittens. Part of her job, especially since she's new in the field, is to check in on people who have Legendaries or are working towards permits, and to check in on wild Legendaries who live alongside humans or otherwise are amenable to being checked on. One of her very notable clients is a middle-aged farmer (he raises several Pokemon for things like milk and eggs, but also breeds starters for the local professor) who had to emergency start working towards a permit after discovering an Yveltal egg abandoned in his coop and, shortly after, having a young Mewtwo created in an unethical experiment show up at his doorstep asking for shelter. Because everyone who has a Yveltal is required to have a contact who has or is close to a Xerneas (or do so themselves) for safety reasons, he comes into contact with an older widower who keeps a Xerneas that's a family heirloom - it was born under the care of her great-grandmother, and will pass to her kids and grandkids when she passes away. She definitely encourages him to think about the far future, as Mewtwo only live a bit longer than humans do but Xerneas and Yveltal, like some others, can live for hundreds of years.

My Warriors OCs aren't much to write home about, unfortunately - there's a couple, and they're all hilariously overpowered (and fun). For my personal OCs...I tried to write a novel or several when I was in sixth grade, a dream I hope to revisit someday. Of course, they had their own cast of original characters - notably including a pair of genetically engineered lesbian generals named Lightning and Angel. They're fun :)

Because I feel like it, I'll also answer your other stuff - Dirkjohn is fucking awesome. It's a closeish second favorite ship for me, behind Johndave. I write...kind of a lot of them haha. I'm clearing quite a few drafts at the moment, but I have 70+ dirkjohn drafts even ignoring anything involving polyamory or splinters. My first ever ship fic was Dirkjohn! It's "Searching" on my AO3, it's definitely not my best work (again, first romance fic) but it was a lot of fun to write. Other people have written incredible analyses on dirkjohn and why it would work, but for me I read some fucking awesome dirkjohn fics and got hooked on the dynamic. One dirkjohn fic that I'm working on right now is based on a dream I had, where they (along with others) are stuck in a time loop, in which the world ends when they're both 23 and they live their whole lives over and over again. It's a getting-together fic and very cute despite the setting.

Just because, I'll answer a few other questions!

Hilariously, my answer to No. 1 (Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely?) is...Searching. Yep, the one I just mentioned. The basic premise is really good, but I think I made quite a few mistakes lol. The other one, that I didn't initially count because I'm literally already doing that, is We Live Again - I had a really ambitious set of ideas for it and accidentally wrote myself into a corner with the help of shoddy organization and a nearly nonexistent outline. So, I'm planning to come back to that one.

And 16, are oneshots underrated? HELL yes they are. I fucking love oneshots, they're the main thing I read rn and the main thing I'm writing! Not everything has to be a federal fucking issue lol, it's nice to just bang the keyboard for a while and make a cute little distilled plot, especially when it's for a punchline.

[freebooter4ever]

i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me. 

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

[atlasifyllm]

Tell me about Cobalt and Rina's relationship from Cobalt's POV?

OKAY SO

Cobalt is just your average “Accidentally In Love” from Shrek 2. The two met when they were about 8-9, and the two have slowly grown in love with each other over the years.

However, Cobalt is known for being a bit of a different kid; having twice the strength of a regular Paladin AND having said strength be emotionally controlled by the most emotional Paladin just leads into chaos. He never liked the attention, so he thought he could fix it by taking on a new persona; “Turquoise Sky”. It’s Turquoise who Rina falls in love with, but Turqbalt loves Rina.

It’s Turquoise who all his friends are familiar with, but the successful tournament fighter “Cobalt Zaffre” grows in popularity. All of his friends form a certain opinion on the famous celeb-fighter, but Turq’s just there to hear all of it. The more they all grow up together, the harder it is for Turq to confess that, “Hey! I’m Cobalt!”, especially when he starts forming a genuine relationship with Rina.

This one is more headcanon territory because I haven’t gotten crits on it yet but I had the idea that “Turqbalt” finally decides to NOT tell anyone when he tries to tell Rina on Valentine’s Day (called “Pink Day” in-universe) as Cobalt... but Rina never shows up.

Back to canon,

Things are going smoothly for Turqbalt and Rina BUUT then Ruby (our... not-so-developed protag) decides to pursue tournament fighting, mostly to see if she can show-up Cobalt. Turqbalt is terrified at the idea, because that means Ruby’s going towards a path where he can’t escape his dual identity. Turq and Ruby fight, and Turq (being the emotional guy he is) just starts isolating himself from everyone... except Rina.

Long story short, Ruby wins a tournament against Cobalt, and Turqbalt (as Turq ofc) goes to Rina as a subtle “I need comfort because I’m going through a lot right now even though I can’t tell you anything”. However, Turqbalt needs to meet up with the Mayor and sorta “Patron Goddess” of their city of, well, Neocity, the next morning. He leaves Rina’s house without a trace, thinking he’ll be back in an hour or so.

Also long story short: He ends up in the hospital, with the public concerned that ~famous celeb fighter~ Cobalt Zaffre is in said hospital while Rina... has no idea where Turq went. Because of Turq’s fight with Ruby, Rina assumes she did something wrong... (but um in actuality he was too busy being like, half-dead)

It takes 3 weeks for Turqbalt to “recover” from his injuries (aka he definitely got outside too early because he’s lonely and doesn’t wanna disappoint his fans and friends), to which he just “randomly” shows up one day a little sickly and tired, but, showering Rina in affection because “HAHA I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN 3 WEEKS i am in so much fucking pain right now BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER CAUSE YOU’RE HERE!!”

Rina and Turqbalt think everything is okay, though plot stuff happens with Ruby and it’s Ruby who finds out “wait, Turq and Cobalt are pretty similar huh”. Ruby confronts him about this, but because Turqbalt’s under way too much mental/emotional/physical stress, he just starts freaking out thinking that he’s going to be abandoned. Ruby won’t abandon him... but what makes him snap is when he turns around and sees Rina disappointed, angry, and upset with him. 

Cobalt, realizing how all he’s done is fuck up his relationships, isolates himself again.

PLOT STUFF HAPPENS where Cobalt is being taken advantage of by the main villain because he’s so convinced that he’s meant to be alone, and Rina is absolutely fuming at him.

MORE plot stuff happens and blah blah, they save Cobalt because ~friendship~ (no, seriously), but Rina and Cobalt aren’t “alright” with each other after this first arc.

So far in Arc 2, Cobalt’s still struggling with how to deal with all his emotional trauma while not being a “KAREN WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME??” type of asshole. Rina (going through her toxic girlboss arc) just tells Cobalt that he should make himself useful as a Paladin... which he takes way too seriously.

Cobalt begins bonding with Jacinthe “Emotions Are Ew” Helenium in order to rise up against their newest enemy... which Rina isn’t too fond of for uh, reasons I haven’t actually came up with yet asndglksdg

Cobalt swears he’s going to get an earful from Rina when Jay’s plans start going wrong or dangerous, but Rina just starts realizing she’s being a dick to Jay. Somehow, Cobalt and Rina bond because Rina keeps clashing with Jay to the point where she just turns to him like “dafuq are they on about, amiright?”

I also wanna say that Cobalt tries not to force Rina into forgiving him, if she wants him to do something instead of using just words then he’ll be willing to do that. If she wants to cut him off too, that’d be fine by him, even if it’d kill him inside knowing how much he hurt her. I’d rather eat a jar of pickles than make Cobalt an incel so like, maybe that works. Maybe.

Near the end of Arc 2, Cobalt starts feeling happy without the strain of his trauma... however it gets ripped apart by Big Bad #2. Because Rina, Cobalt, and Ruby are primary colors (heehoo DOTS color plot points), the three of them have to go to a labyrinth to ~Protect the Everything~. 

Cobalt, running on anxiety and empathy at this point, takes control of the situation because Ruby’s struggling to get her mojo back, and also Cobalt just wants to be

1.) Useful

2.) Protect everyone

3.) Do one good thing while he’s energized by the tournament before he goes back to tired and gloomy again

The thing is, I don’t think Cobalt has to TRY to do anything in this situation; he’s willing to put himself into harm’s way because the one thing that he shares with his identity as Turq is that he cares about other people. He’s always wanted to do what’s best for other people, even if that means getting limbs hacked off or isolating himself from other people.

It’s Cobalt’s hyper-empathy for other people that makes Rina feel like “damn, I’ve been real shitty to him huh”. Big Baddie #2 gets defeated, and Cobalt is just glad to know that everyone he loves is safe.

Arc 3 is.. still vague. BUT

Rina starts acting affectionate to him as her own “HAHA I HAVENT TALKED TO YOU PROPERLY IN LIKE 5 MONTHS oh god i am so fucking sorry i said you deserved to get your arm hacked off WANNA GET LUNCH TOGETHER OR”, however Cobalt’s the one who’s wary now.

He’s not sure if he earned Rina’s love back, and he wants Rina to be sure that being with him is what she wants. 

Does she want to be with ~famous celeb fighter~ Cobalt Zaffre? Does she want to be with the guy who’s been manipulated by Big Baddie #1? Does she want to be with the guy who’s definitely done her wrong? 

I like to imagine they make up on Pink Day (where Cobalt’s usually at his gloomiest), where Rina assures him that yes, she wants to be with him. Yes, Cobalt deserves to be loved, both with his scars and imperfections.

So far, Cobalt’s romance story is just a very specific feeling of:

“I’ve done bad things to the people I care about and the guilt eats me up to the point where I’m self-destructive, where my own pain doesn’t matter because I’m too horrible if I’m hurting my friends like the people who’ve hurt me”

I’M ADDING ONTO THIS POST IN A REBLOG SO GIMME A SEC

[khoicesbyk]

Beloved.

A/N: I'm officially obsessed with Wolf Bride and what does one do when she's obsessed with a certain book? She writes an AU about it! 😁 So, Talley Ho! *in my Sherlock Holmes voice*

Rated: Mature. | Contains sexual content and strong language. (You know? The usual from me. 😁) | Bolded and/or italicized words are conversations and thoughts of the characters. | Main Characters: Roman (LI) and Naia Evans (MC) | All Characters and names: (except MC and original characters created by me) are property of Pixelberry.

Current Word Count: 2,007 words. (more or less. I stop counting after editing and re-editing. 🤷🏾‍♀️)

Tag List: @shewillreadyou @rideordiechronicles @bebepac @queenjilian @pixie88 @imturaxamara @lucy-268 @shannonsaid @shannonwrote @txemrn @aussieez @secretaryunpaid @texaskitten30 @blackkingliamstan

This series is rated Mature. It is NOT reading material that is safe for those under 18. Reader discretion is STRONGLY advised!

This series may contain spoilers. If you wish not to see spoilers, please do not read any further.

(Also this series is a slight deviation of the original story. In the original story, the werewolf hunter is a woman. But in this series the hunter is a man.)

Missing a chapter or want to read a chapter again? I got you covered! Click ——> Here!

If you’d like to be added to my tag list. Just reblog or dm me and I will gladly add you! 😁😘

Chapter 21.) Fractured.

Naia was rushed to the ER by Roman after being accidentally shot with a tranquilizer by Trent. But as Roman brought her to the ER something was wrong. She was exhibiting signs of a severe allergic reaction. But Roman didn't know what was causing it. He was thankful that Layla’s mother Joanna worked at the hospital. She would tell him what was wrong with Naia. But first, he had to deal with Trent and his crew being there.

It took all of the hospital security team and sheriff's department to separate Roman and the werewolves from Trent and his team. And that was before her parents showed up at the hospital and her mother raised hell with the staff about not wanting either of them there. As everyone waited in separate waiting areas, the tension and the air was thick. Rage, pain, shock, fear, and anxiety all mingled as each waited for news.

Roman and Trent kept their eyes on the hall. While Naia’s father had his eyes trained on the nurse's station. Laurie had her head resting on her husband’s shoulder with her eyes closed while holding on to her husband's hand. She was furious but more so she was terrified. Her daughter was in trouble and she didn't know how to help her.

The minutes felt like hours as they all waited for news of Naia’s condition. Laurie couldn't feel her daughter, no matter how hard she tried to tap into the bond they share. Finally, a doctor came down the hall with a chart in their hands. When Laurie looked up she and the doctor both recognized each other.

“You have got to be kidding me!”

“Well hello to you too Joey.”

“What are you doing at home after all these years?”

“A.) this isn't home. And B.) apparently my daughter was brought in by The Alpha.”

Joey shook her head.

“Well, this explains why I thought she looked familiar.”

“Whatever! Just tell me that you have news.”

“Well it’s good to see that you haven't changed one bit after all this time.”

“Joey…”

“It's Dr. Simpson, thank you.”

Laurie exhaled slowly.

“I do have news. But you’re not going to like what I have to say.”

“What is it?”

Dr. Simpson glanced over to where Roman and Trent were sitting. Shane rolled his eyes.

“Forget him! Tell me what is wrong with her.”

“It's best if we talk over here.”

She led Laurie and Shane to a corner of the waiting room out of earshot of everyone else.

“Her test results came back positive for a high-powered tranquilizer and…” she trailed off. It started to scare Laurie.

“What Joey? What else?”

The doctor sighed heavily.

“Wolfbane.”

Laurie and her husband both went pale.

“What did you just say?”

“You two heard me. When The Alpha brought her in, the Wolfbane had already begun to take effect.”

Laurie shook her head in disbelief. Shane stood there wide-eyed with his hand over his mouth.

“Because of the Wolfbane in her blood, your daughter went into anaphylactic shock.”

“Oh my God! Please don't tell me that my daughter is…”

“She’s alive. We had to put her under to save her life.”

“No. It can't be.”

“I am so sorry Laurie. But it is. And as you well know there is no cure for Wolfbane.”

“Not again…this can’t be happening.”

Laurie started shaking.

“I know more that this isn’t the news you wanted to hear. But the blood work isn’t lying.”

Shane steadied his wife before he spoke.

“Can we see her?”

“Yes. She’s just down the hall to the right. Room D17.”

Laurie ran past Trent and Roman with Shane not too far behind. When she got to the window outside of Naia’s room Laurie felt like she couldn't breathe. She felt like she was looking into a mirror at herself. Every painful memory of Hunt’s Peak that she ever had come flooding back. When they took just a few steps into Naia’s room, Laurie’s knees gave out on her, causing her to fall at the foot of the bed. Seeing her daughter like this made her inconsolably hysterical. And all her husband could do was try to help her up.

Shane was able to get her to the chair next to the bed. When she looked at Naia all she saw was herself those many years ago.

“This wasn't supposed to happen! Not to her!” she said as she cried.

“I know, baby.”

“My baby…my poor baby. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!”

“Laurie, please! It's not your fault.”

She heard him but she didn't care.

“You don't understand! This is my fault! I didn't protect her! I-I-I-I failed her…”

“Baby…”

“Naia please…wake up! You have to wake up!”

Shane knew she didn't mean it but she couldn't help but blame herself.

Meanwhile, Zane had shown up at the hospital. When he got to the front desk he ran into Dr. Simpson.

“Joey I got your call. What is it?”

She glared at him.

“Don’t you Joey me!”

“What? What did I do?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that your sister was home?!”

“Because it’s a small town and you two were bound to run into each other at some point?”

That’s when she punched him in the arm.

“OW! Geez! What was that for?”

“Zane!” she warned him.

“Look I’m sorry! She and her husband showed up a few weeks ago looking for my niece.”

“That’s another thing you failed to tell me about!”

“Now what?!”

“You didn’t tell me she had a daughter either!”

“Yeah well, you’ve been busy! And so have I!”

Joey rolled her eyes at him.

“Where is Laurie? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Physically anyway. It’s your niece you need to be concerned about.”

Zane gave her a look that was half concerned and half confused.

“What do you mean?”

Joey took a deep breath before leading him out of earshot of everyone in the waiting areas.

“Your niece is suffering from Wolfbane poisoning. And it’s just as bad if worse than Laurie’s all those years ago.”

“That’s impossible Joey. Wolfbane was banned before Xander died.”

“You know that. I know that. And yet…”

Zane glanced over to where Roman and Trent were sitting.

“Well, that explains why they’re here.”

“Yes. The Alpha brought her in. And the Hunter…he’s the one who shot her.”

“He shot her?!”

“It was by accident. He was aiming for the Alpha when she stepped in and took the tranquilizer dart instead.”

Zane exhaled slowly.

“Does my sister know?”

“Not yet. She knows that your niece has been infected but she doesn’t know how she was infected. She and her husband are in there with your niece now.”

“It won’t take her long to figure it out. There’s only one way to be infected by Wolfbane.”

“Yes. I’m well aware. I just can’t believe this happened twice. No one here at the labs would do this.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I run the ER. I know for a fact that the higher-ups are terrified of The Alpha. They think he’s just like Xander.”

Zane looked at Joanna and coughed awkwardly into his hand.

“Just so you know I haven't told her anything.”

“So you didn't tell her you’re gonna be a grandfather?”

“No, I didn't tell her. Squirt would lose her shit if she found out you and I had a kid together. So we're gonna keep it that way. And if she asks you…Peabody is Layla’s father.”

“Fine. Now go check on them. They need you.”

Zane shook his head sadly.

“You wanna tell her that?”

“What do you mean?”

“She's selling the house.”

“What?!”

“I've been staying at Toby’s for the last few weeks.”

“Why didn't you say something?”

“Because you would've asked a million and one questions that I didn't have answers to.”

Joey sighed.

“Still you could've said something to me!”

“Look, Naia called and said she was coming to town and didn't want her mother to know. And I knew if I told you…there was a slight possibility that you would've told Laurie.”

“And yet here we are.”

“Yup. Laurie showed up and all hell nearly broke loose.”

“What do you mean?”

“Squirt went toe to toe with The Alpha.”

Joey’s eyes went wide.

“Just like she did with his father.”

“She's gonna get herself killed one day.”

“I know.”

Zane looked over at Roman.

“Does he know about Naia?”

“No. Not yet. I’ll tell him. ”

“Okay. I'm gonna go check on them.”

“Good. They're down the hall to the right. Room D17.”

“Thank you Joey.”

As Zane went to walk past the waiting area, Roman caught his wrist. Zane swallowed hard before turning to face Roman.

“Do you know what's wrong?”

Before Zane could answer, Dr. Simpson spoke up.

“Come with me Alpha.”

Roman cocked an eyebrow at Zane before quietly following the doctor away from him.

When Zane got to the room Naia was in he stopped outside the door. He looked through the window and saw his sister huddled over Naia. It broke his heart to see her so distraught. It reminded him of the night she was here years ago. And that he didn't listen to her, that he didn't believe her then. He quietly opened the door and stepped inside. When he walked in, Laurie looked up at him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Joey called. She said you were here and I thought—”

He trailed off when he looked at Naia.

“You thought what? That I was here in a bed again just like I was all those years ago?”

“I—”

That's when Shane cut him off.

“Well, you’re here. Are you happy?”

“I didn't know Naia was here until I got here and got punched in the arm.”

“Sounds like Joey.”

“She told me that—”

“It was Wolfbane poisoning?”

“Yes. I just can't believe that it happened again.”

Laurie scoffed and Zane looked down at the floor.

“The Alpha is out in the waiting area. So is Trent. I don't think they know.”

“They were here when we got here.”

That's when they heard shouting between both sides coming from up the hall. And Laurie had heard enough.

Something inside her snapped.

It felt like a dam had broken within her when she stood up.

“You two stay here.”

“Where are you going?”

“There's something that I have to take care of.”

Zane and Shane shared a worried look as Laurie stormed out of the room. When she got towards the end of the hall, the shouting and accusations between Trent and Roman grew louder.

“This is your fault!”

“Don't blame me!”

“Fine! How about I rip your head off? Would you like that?”

Trent scoffed.

“I’d love to see you try Balto.”

They stopped arguing when Laurie turned the corner.

“Oh please don’t stop bickering on my account.”

The look on her face was a mix of rage and pain. She glared at them both with her arms crossed.

“It shouldn’t surprise me that you two are at each other’s throats. Because in all honesty you idiots are the reason why my daughter is currently fighting for her life!”

“What?!”

“Let me summarize: Naia is in a coma, because of Wolfbane.”

Roman and Trent looked at each other then looked at her.

“What is that?”

“I’m glad you asked Alpha. If you must know, Wolfbane is a poison that your father had created.”

Roman looked at her incredulously.

“Did I mention that he created it with Bernard Sayre?”

Both men were stunned.

“Judging by the looks that you both have, I assume that neither of you know what I’m talking about. So here’s a little project for you: why would Xander and Bernard Sayre work together on anything?”

“Impossible!”

“Far be it from me to agree with the mutt but he’s right.”

Laurie issued one last declaration to them.

“One more thing, as of right now both of you will NOT step foot into this hospital!”

She then turned on her heel walking down the hall. Leaving them in shock.

[dr-skellington]

And The Winner Is...

So I was hella bummed to miss HIV/AIDS Awareness Day... So I wrote this for National HIV/AIDS Testing Day but I feel like it can emcompass both

anyways happy National HIV/AIDS Testing Day! If you’re sexually active y’all better go get tested! 😜

This is being posted to both my main and nsfs blogs because all of us nsfs content creators are guilty of (more often than not) creating content that doesn’t portray safe sex, which is the only way to prevent STDs and AIDS. For all my followers out there, please use condoms when engaging in sexual activity and if you don’t want to get pregnant, use some form of contraceptive as well. Stay safe. Love you guys <3

Please reblog the version with links

Fandom: Sanders’ Sides

Pairing: Loceit

Words: 2,899

Summary: Janus has been in the epicenter of the AIDS pandemic since it began. He’s seen more death, felt more loss, and heard more pain than any human should just within the last seven years. He’d all but given up on family, friends, forming bonds of any kind, because he knew they would just be taken away from him.

Until he met Logan Abbott.

Tags/Warnings: death, character death, HIV/AIDS, takes place in the 80s, specifically ‘87-’89, mentions of ballroom culture, descriptions of illness, descriptions of delirium/fever, descriptions of unintentional minor starvation, this is not a cheery fic guys just keep that in mind and be careful

December, 1987

“Number 37?”

Silence.

“Number 37.”

People glancing around. Logan nudges Janus. “Janus, that’s you.”

Janus startles slightly when Logan nudges him, blinking. He’d been completely zoned out, staring at the white wall opposite their chairs. “Ah, yes. Right. Thank you, I’ll be back in a moment.” He stands up, meeting the nurse’s kind smile with a blank look and following her back to the doctor’s office.

Janus shuts the door behind him, the click of the deadlatch nearly deafening in the silence. He takes a seat across from the doctor in a stiff polyester chair, shifting his weight nervously and crossing one leg over the other. Janus folds his hands in front of him and gives a slight nod.

The doctor smiles at him, opening up his file and looking over a page as she speaks. “So, are you ready to hear the results of your test?” She looks up, one of her eyebrows slightly raised.

All he can manage is a nod, his heart hammering in his chest. Please let it be negative, please let it be negative, it has to be negative.

“You tested positive, Janus. I’m sorry.”

Janus sits in numb silence for a moment, his mind screeching to a halt, the sound of his racing heart unheard past the ringing in his ears. Positive. He had HIV.

“Run the test again.”

He doesn’t even realize he spoke until the doctor is replying, a sympathetic frown pulling at her lips. “We’ve run the test twice. I’m sorry, but that’s the result.” He shakes his head, looking at her with wide, frantic eyes.

“I can’t have HIV, I can’t die! Not yet!”

The doctor raises her hands in an effort to placate him. “Janus, you aren’t going to die. This doesn’t have to be a death sentence. There are options; treatments, support groups. There’s AZT. You don’t need to fight this forever, you just need to fight until a cure is found-”

Janus jumps to his feet, pushing the chair back. “What cure?! No one is looking! The world wants us dead!” He’s bordering on hysterical; shouting, trembling with his racing heartbeat, tears streaming down his face. He wasn’t an idiot. Doctors may promise help and support and solutions but the facts were that no one cared enough to even look for a cure and the only worthwhile treatment killed as many people as it helped. He’d seen the effects of AZT, seen how it can make your body shut down. He was just as well off not doing anything, in his mind.

His doctor sighs, lowering her hands. “I understand that this is hard to accept. I’ll give you a moment to yourself, I’ll be right outside if you need me.” She walks past Janus and shuts the door quietly behind her, leaving him in silence.

It lasts for all of ten seconds before he’s falling back into his chair and hiding his face in his hands as sobs wracked his body. In the span of thirty seconds his entire life had been thrown up in the air, all plans for the future shrouded in a veil of futile hope that he’d even live long enough to see them happen.

The virus had swept through the gay community like the final plague of Egypt, claiming countless lives in the last seven years and looming over thousands more. It had become apparent very quickly that there would be no help. Not from the president, or any governors; no one. Hospital staff would do their best, but even they could only do so much and due to lack of knowledge many of them were afraid to get too close to those on the downslide, afraid of catching the virus themselves. It was the kind of plague that left even the most healthy man riddled with anxiety. It was the kind of plague that didn’t care about sex, race, gender, religion; it only cared about spreading death.

It was the one thing in this world Janus was afraid of.

Janus had been only nineteen when the pandemic began. He remembered hearing of it through rumor, how so-and-so’s brother/cousin/son had become mysteriously ill, only to die months later. He remembered when it was no longer a rumor and people in his own backyard began to drop like flies. He remembered friends locking themselves away, ending relationships, never leaving the house in fear of catching it. He remembered moments of silence in ballroom and the absence of it on the television. He remembered the first house he had joined and the exact number of days it took for him to be the only one left standing. He remembered burying friends, brothers, sisters, mothers.

And now Logan would have to bury him.

Oh god, Logan. How could he tell him? He knew the pain of watching the man you love withering to nothing before your eyes while no one offered help. Now that he was on the other side, though, nothing terrified him more than Logan not being there, being left alone to rot in a hospital bed while this virus stole his life from him. But Janus was not a cruel man.

He had to tell him. He had to give him a choice.

Janus took another moment to collect himself, wipe the tears from his face, and stood. He left the doctor’s office without a word and made his way back to the hall Logan was waiting in like countless others from their community. The way Logan straightened up and looked up at him with hopeful eyes when Janus finally turned the corner crushed his heart in his chest. This may be the last time that he gets to see that face, hold those hands, kiss those lips.

He walks up to Logan, who’s stood up to meet him with an expectant look. “Well? What’d she say, Janus?”

Janus takes Logan’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. Logan’s expression morphs into one of pain and sadness.

“I’m positive.”

“Janus…”

Janus takes a breath through his nose and lets go of Logan’s hand. “I’ve been on your side of this too many times to ask that you stay in good conscience. If you… If it’s easier for you to leave, to move on now before things get bad… I understand.”

“Ten, ten, ten, ten, ten! The winner is Janus from the House of Fidelity!”

Janus Jackson was twenty-three when he met Logan Abbott. By then he had buried half of his house and five boyfriends, and had decided life would be more tolerable if he stopped forming close bonds with other people. Despite this self-declaration, anyone you asked would claim that Janus was an open, kind, charismatic young man. He could make the terminal men laugh, gossip with the most effeminate queens, and trade beauty tips with all the trans women without making anyone feel awkward, out of place, or invalidated. No one knew his whole story, but everyone loved to fill in the blanks. This was just as well, in Janus’ mind, as it made it nearly impossible to tell which parts were fictional gossip and which were the sad tale of his life.

Logan was a twenty year-old nobody from out of state. He’d moved to the city for a change of scenery, or so he claimed to anyone who would ask. Janus could tell there was more to it though, and had he cared at all about making friends he might have pried. He assumed Logan came out and got shamed by his community, as was the story for many of the people in the ballroom scene. It was their home, their refuge where they could be themselves when the world told them they were a mistake, a disease, a cancer. Logan had taken quickly to the ballroom scene, finding like-minded people to watch the night’s categories with.

Logan blinks, his eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly parted. “I… Janus, I would never leave you just because you have the virus. You mean more to me than that. I love you.”

Janus sighs, relief and sadness washing over him; he was thankful he had met Logan, that he wouldn’t have to go through this alone, but the guilt of putting Logan through the same pain he’d gone through would weigh him down until his dying breath.

“I love you, too.”

At some point during the night, be it during a category Janus was participating in or just idle chit-chat, someone had pointed Logan his way. Janus swore he would find out who it was and make them suffer, but for the moment he had to uphold his reputation and make Logan feel welcome. Logan had come wandering over like a little lost lamb, taking the chair next to Janus tentatively and glancing at him.

“Are you… Janice?”

Oh, this bitch.

Janus rolls his eyes. “Janus.”

Logan blinks. “That is what I said.”

“You said Janice. My name is Janus. J-A-N-U-S. I can hear the difference.”

Logan looks at his lap. “I see. I apologize. Though admittedly I feel a little better not having had the chance to accidentally misgender you.” He casts a glance around the room; gay men, a few lesbians, trans women - some more obvious than others - and those you couldn’t label at first glance.

Janus snrks. “Oh honey. You better watch those comments before you offend the wrong people. This isn’t the suburbs, where you can gossip and slander behind closed doors.” He sighs through his nose, crossing one leg over the other as he gives Logan a once-over. “But I can’t fault you for not knowing. Yet. What is your name, pup?”

“Logan,” he says, just loud enough over the emcee to be heard. Janus leans in with a soft smirk.

“Well Logan, after the ball you’ll be coming to my house and talking to mother. We can’t have a cute thing like you living on the streets.”

Logan blushes and nods, and the two turn their attentions to the next category being walked.

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

In the spring of ‘88, Janus got a bad flu. Janus and Logan had just buried their house mother the week before, leaving the two of them and Roman - their newest and youngest house member, a gay Latino boy who was barely older than eighteen - in their house. Roman had been debating leaving to join another house, but his loyalty to Janus as an older brother-now-house-father (oh, the irony) kept him in that dingy apartment. Roman and Logan did their best to look after Janus, checking his temperature every few hours, feeding him soup and helping him drink water, helping him bathe when he was too weak to stand on his own. The flu lasted nearly a week before his fever finally broke. Once it did, Logan was hopeful that Janus would recover quickly, but he never fully did.

As the months went by, Janus seemed to have less and less energy. By the beginning of fall his diagnosis had been moved from HIV to AIDS, and he had stopped walking the balls. If he was having a particularly good day, he would still show up and show support for friends in other houses. Roman had even walked a category on one of Janus’ good days to cheer him up, earning the House of Fidelity their first trophy in almost a year. Janus had cried when Logan wheeled him down the runway to accept the trophy at Roman’s insistence.

The days began to grow colder and Janus never left the apartment. If he even got a cold, he could die, so he and Logan decided it would be better, safer, to stay indoors with the heat on. It didn’t last too long; November rolled around and Janus was admitted to the hospital with an infection. He couldn’t sleep, had trouble breathing, and would only eat if Logan was there to make him. No one thought he would live to see Christmas. Even after his infection cleared, Janus stayed in the AIDS ward with the other men who were too sick to leave. The place smelled of chemicals, with a backdrop of hacking coughs, desperate prayers, and crying. He hated it there, but Roman and Logan made sure to visit as often as they could to keep him company.

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

On Thanksgiving, Logan walked into Janus’ room to find him gripping the pole of his IV stand, walking the length of his room like it was a runway. His eyes were unfocused, swinging his arms around in a delirious attempt at vogueing. Logan carefully approached Janus, gently guiding him back to bed, his heart beating anxiously in his chest. Janus sat on the edge of the mattress and looked up at Logan with a soft smile.

“What are my scores, baby?” He asked airily. Logan swallowed, his eyes burning with tears.

“Tens across the board, my love.”

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

“Everyone misses you in ballroom, dad. Every night I got people comin’ up to me and telling me they hope you’re doin’ okay.”

Janus gives Roman a small smile, patting the teen’s knee as he sits before him on the bed. “And what do you tell them, Roman?”

Roman grins. “I tell them my dad’s the strongest guy there is! Just watch, spring’s gonna come and you’re gonna get better, I just know it.”

“I’d love to see the looks on their faces when I walk into the room like nothing happened.”

Logan smiles, running his fingers through Janus’ matted hair. “I’m sure you will, love. You just need to rest up.”

“Rest up later, it’s Christmas!” Roman shouts, bouncing a little. Janus chuckles.

“Yes, yes it is. Logan, did you bring the packages I told you about?” Logan nods and hands Janus two sloppily-wrapped presents. Janus hands the blue one to Logan, and the red one to Roman. “Merry Christmas, you two.”

Roman grins and snatches the present out of Janus’ hand, ripping the paper off. “Oh, bitchin’! Thanks, dad!” Roman holds up the leather jacket to inspect it, showing it off to Logan. Logan nods in amusement, watching Roman put the jacket on before he carefully unwraps his own present. He gasps as he looks down at the picture of him and Janus laughing together as they sit next to each other, Janus’ hand on Logan’s knee.

“Just in case. Don’t want you forgetting how hot I am,” Janus jokes lightly. Logan looks at him with teary eyes and takes his hand, squeezing gently.

“Never.”

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

“I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry, Logan,” Janus sobs, his body shaking as tears make their way down bony cheeks.

Logan shakes his head, taking Janus’ hands and looking him in the eye. “You have nothing to apologize for, my love.”

“I-I didn’t want to d-die alone, I’m sorry, I’m s-so selfish.”

“You couldn’t have gotten rid of me if you’d tried.”

The pair sit in silence for a moment, Logan rubbing Janus’ knuckles as Janus cries. It was one of those days where a fever made Janus overemotional. Sometimes he thought it was still 1987, and when he realized it was almost 1989 he would lay there and cry, apologizing for trapping Logan with him. It was the same conversation every time.

“I don’t w-want to die.”

“You won’t die, my heart, not for a long time.”

“I should h-have taken the AZT, I should have tried e-everything I could.”

“You said so yourself, there is a significant chance that taking AZT would have shortened your lifespan even more. I’m thankful that we’ve had this time together, I wouldn’t want to change a thing.”

“I-I’m so sorry.”

“... I know.”

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

Janus Jackson passed away on January 2nd, 1989, just twenty minutes after his boyfriend Logan had left the hospital. He’d passed away in his sleep, having been well looked-after and held in the arms of the one he loved until he drifted off. The funeral was a week later, and something told Logan that he would need to find a big space to hold it in. True to thought, the day of the funeral the entire church was full of people coming to say goodbye to Janus and celebrate his life, drawing a crowd so big that it spilled out the front doors. No one had known that Janus was religious. No one except Logan.

Logan tested positive for HIV just two months later. He’d sat in the doctor’s office in contemplative silence, nodded, and thanked them before leaving the room. That day, he’d walked the streets of Brooklyn and thought about his time with Janus; all the laughter, the excitement, and the tears. The one thing that kept coming back to mind was all the nights he would sit by Janus’ side in that hospital bed, listening to him cry and apologize, listening to his regrets. Logan returned to the doctor the next day and got a prescription for AZT.

Logan Abbott lived to the age of fifty-four. He had a small number of boyfriends in his life, a few after Janus’ passing, and had buried almost all of them. Shortly after testing positive he had joined ACT UP, leaving behind the balls that Janus loved so dearly to instead fight for his community’s life. When he finally passed on a cool spring day in his own home, Janus’ gift in his hands, he found he had no regrets, looking forward to seeing Janus once again.

[oliverwxod]

Bodyguard - Steve Rogers au

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, smut

Summary: I’ve done a whole bodyguard au for Bucky thought It was time to do one for Steve :) hope you like it, comments and reblog and likes always appreciated! Also its not fully edited yet so theres probably some grammar mistakes sorry!! Also let me know if you want a part 2!!!!!!

Main masterlist link in bio xx

Tony was barely around much these days, in fact Y/n can’t remember the last time Tony was around for more than an hour tops. She thinks back to her teenage years and how Tony had started to withdraw from her, maybe he thought it would make her independent? and sure it did. But she often found herself feeling neglected. 

She still needed a figure in her life to look up to. So far she had been left to work out certain meanings of life by herself. It was hard, being exposed to so many things with no one to talk to or confide in. 

She longed for someone to come into her life, she craved a certain form of attention. At this point it could have been anyone, a house keeper who she could talk to during the day, a pool cleaner to chat to and fill the loneliness that overtook her daily routine.

In Y/n’s case, this person came in the form of a 6ft2 man named Steve Rogers, who had the form of a god and muscles that stood out through his tight t-shirt. 

It was a rare moment where she got to see a glimpse of Tony. He had interrupted her daily routine of reading a book to kill some time, with a sharp knock on the door. 

Y/n remembers answering it, slightly taken aback when she opened the door widely to reveal Tony and a taller, intimidatingly handsome man who stood beside him with a polite smile. 

“Y/n.” Tony greeted a small, formal smile on his face that Y/n remembers hating. It wasn’t a smile reserved for loved ones, it was a smile reserved for colleagues and she dreaded receiving it. 

“Dad” She spoke back, making sure her tone matched his. “Whose this?” she asked, smiling politely at Steve.

“Steve Rogers” Tony replied. “The company had been receiving some threats recently and I've been advised to increase security, so Steve here will be your new bodyguard” He stated, meeting her eyes as if knowing she would challenge him about it. 

She met his stare, wanting to prove him wrong by silently nodding in agreement. This was typical Tony, making a couple bad choices without giving a thought to the consequences that followed. 

“Good.” Tony voiced when there was no objection, just a silent stare. “Steve, this is my daughter y/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you” Steve said politely and Y/n could tell that although he had manners, he wasn’t overjoyed at having to babysit a 20 something year old, that he probably labeled a rich spoilt kid.

“Y/n, Steve will also be teaching you self defence just as a precaution” 

Y/n huffed at the idea. She had never wanted to be involved in any physical kind of violence so never thought it important to learn self defence skills. She supposed it couldn’t hurt. 

But she was wrong. 

Steve had her up the next day at the crack of dawn. She was woken up by a loud series of knocks on her bedroom door that she couldn’t ignore and go back to sleep. 

She trudged over, ripping the door open angrily to come face to face with Steve. He was dressed in work out gear, a bottle of water hanging loosely form his hand. 

“You ready to go?” he asked, his smile dropping as he took in her angry appearance. “Ah- you're not dressed” he spoke frowning. 

“It’s 6.” He spoke as if it were to mean anything to her. At her confused scowl he clarified. “Tony said he messaged you the time for self defence training, but obviously you didn’t receive that”

“You think?” she glared up at him, wanting to smack the small smirk he now held. 

“Right. Well, meet me in the gym in 10.” He stated rather than asked, before turning around and walking down the hallway leaving Y/n to glare daggers into his back, her eyes tracing over the perfect form of his shoulders and admiring how the tight fitting grey gym shirt clung to every one of his muscles. 

Y/n met him in the gym 15 minutes later having haphazardly throwing on a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra. She had no problem showing some skin to a near stranger. 

“You’re late” he spoke. 

“Yeah? well it’s to early for this shit anyway” she grumbled, causing him to laugh. She stared at him, wanting to see if he would check her out, but Steve seemed to be paying no mind to her. 

“Lets get this over with” she spoke, moving over to the mat in the middle of the deserted gym. 

“we will start with the basics first” Steve spoke following her over. “firstly, the best self defence is prevention...” 

“yeah yeah- I know.. always carry your keys with you, always park in lit areas with CCTV ... blah blah blah” she said rolling her eyes. She had been told it many times. 

“Right, good then.” Steve nodded. “Now where do you think the most effective places to hit an attacker in are?” he asked. 

Y/n smirked slightly, taking two steps towards Steve and invading his personal space. 

“the eyes” she spoke, meeting his stare, he watched her back, waiting for her next move, intrigued. “the nose” she said, lifting a finger to flick him on the nose, laughing as he flinched. 

“The neck” she said, trailing her fingers down the side of his neck, watching as he took a deep breath in, swallowing. “The shins” she said, her foot lifting to brush past his bare shins. 

Steve watched her, waiting to see if she would really go this far. 

“and...” her eyes met his before flicking down his body, trailing down to his crotch where she bit her lip, purposefully. She knew he was watching her. 

“okay yeah-” he spoke, taking a step away from her flustered. “good, so you know the gist” 

Y/n silently laughed to herself. 

“Lets start with how to bring someone down to their knees” Steve spoke, his eyes widening as he realised what he had just said, he didn’t mean for it to sound so dirty.

“don’t need to ask me twice” she spoke smirking. Steve flushed at her comment, turning around to compose himself. She was just teasing; he told himself. She had nothing better to do in her life than try to make someone else hell, it was the same with all rich people he thought. 

“the knee is vulnerable from almost every angle and for everyone.” he spoke, acting as if she had said nothing. “You want to kick with power to injure and incapacitate the attacker. Turn around” he spoke, his voice holding a certain authority to it that Y/n immediately found herself complying to. 

“I’m going to attack from behind” he spoke “then you need to show me how you would fight back, but going for the knees, don’t actually kick though” he instructed. 

Y/n was facing away from him, steadying her breathing as she could hear him moving closer. Suddenly his arms were around her, locking her in a strong grip, she could feel his muscles contract around her, his strength easily holding her. 

Y/n straggled momentarily in his arms before remembering to go for the knees. She managed to release his grip, turning slightly to be able to free a foot and bring it up to push on his knee in what would be a kick if she were actually being attacked. 

“Okay” Steve spoke “that was good. Just don’t kick too high, as the attacker can grab hold of your ankle” he spoke, demonstrating by wrapping one hand around her whole ankle and tugging gently. It was enough to pull her down, finding herself hitting the mat with a small thud. 

He taught her more basic techniques for the next hour until she found herself worn out and wanting nothing more than a cup of iced coffee to drown her thoughts out and boost her motivation. 

--------------------------------------------------------

Steve knocked on her door every morning at 6. At first it had been annoying but now she was up 5 minutes before, already changed and ready for when he knocked. 

“Hi” she spoke. Opening the door to reveal the bodyguard standing tall, a pair of grey sweatpants and a black tight fitting shirt, stretching across his broad shoulders. 

“Ready?” he asked and she nodded, following him down the hallway to the gym. 

Steve had seemingly become quite a challenge. She was persistent in her comments that made him flush red, but he either ignored them or laughed them off. It was becoming frustrating and Y/n was very frustrated. 

She had made it so clear that she wanted him. But she knew Steve saw her as this attention seeking kid who was spoilt and didn’t like not getting her own way. 

It was obvious in one of his comments the other week. Steve had accidentally ripped her favourite gym top while teaching her a move. She had complained, glaring at hime and pouting, and she heard him mumble under his breath that she could afford a hundred more. 

Her work out gear was becoming increasingly less modest, thinking that if she made it clear she wanted him, that he would want her too. A sports bra and a pair of short yoga shorts the only thing cladding her body. Steve knew what she was doing. She wanted his attention, but he wasn't going to give her it, he was keeping this purely professional. 

He got a kick out of how submissive she was to him. Obeying his every rule and listening intently to what he had to say to her to help her improve. 

Steve had Y/n sparring with him, she was intent on bringing him to the ground just to prove that she was strong enough. But it ended up with Steve slamming her into the mat, making her groan heavily while he hovered over her. 

She looked up to meet his eyes, pouting at how unfair it was. 

“that wasn’t fair” she huffed.

“Life isn’t fair sweetheart” he spoke, smirking. 

Y/n shoved him off her, Steve hitting the ground with a small thud beside her as she switched position, straddling Steve now. His hands moved to her waist, squeezing the skin slightly as she leaned down towards him. She was going to kiss him, it was obvious t her and it was obvious to Steve who freaked out and rolled her off him. 

She scrambled up from the mat inn surprise avoiding his eyes, too embarrassed to look at him after the rejection and the literal pushing away. 

After that training session she made it very difficult for Steve. Her comments were becoming increasingly more effective and her small touches and brushes of her hand against some part of his body was becoming parts of his day that he craved the most. 

Steve had pushed her down into an accidentally compromising position, his hands shoving her shoulders so she was on her knees, her face in line with his crotch. She had been particularly infuriating the past few days. Just last night at Tony and Peppers work party, she had spent the night at the bar drinking, Steve beside her doing his job as her bodyguard. She was talking about all the people she had slept with, telling him stories about each one the more she drank. 

Steve wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with that information but he didn’t want to upset her so stayed quite, listening to her talk a load of shit that she probably didn’t remember. 

She had asked him questions to; what his first time was like, his best partner in bed; whether he had been in love before. 

All in which he responded to with the same persons names. Peggy. She forced the information out of him and he had told her how Peggy was the true love of his life. Steve though Y/n would tease him about it, bu she surprised him, listening intently and nodding, a sad smile on her face as she told him that his story was beautifully heartbreaking. 

“ you know, if you wanted me to suck your dick you could have just asked” she spoke, looking up at him with the most innocent looking eyes and smile. 

Steve gritted his teeth as he looked down at her, the sight enough to make all the blood rush to his groin. This was it; he was giving in. 

“Go on then.” he challenged. Steve was curious if she was all talk and no show or if she was serious. 

She looked surprised, hesitant almost as she met his stare back. His expression didn’t falter, his jaw clenched as he waited for her to make a move. 

When she saw he wasn’t joking Steve nearly laughed as her eyes lit up, hands reaching forward to fumble with the drawstrings of his sweats. 

She wasted no time pushing them down past his hips, his boxers along with them, allowing his dick to spring free, her eyes widening at the size. 

“Holyshit” she mumbled, Steve smirking as he watched her curiosity, one of her hands gripping him and causing him to buck his hips forward. 

“Jesus” he mumbled under his breath, staring as her hand moved, tightening before moving up and down in slow strokes. She was teasing him and enjoying every second. 

“don’t tease me” he spoke. 

“Or what?” she challenged. 

“Just get on with it” he moaned as her hand tightened around him again. “ before someone walks in” 

She shrugged, moving closer on her knees as she finally took him into her mouth, humming once she took him all the way down her throat. 

Steve swore several times under his breath, he hadn’t let himself have this kind of relief for months now and this moment of weakness was him giving in. He had told himself after Peggy left him, that there would never be another girl for him. 

Y/n hollowed her cheeks out, her mouth wet and tight around him as his hand found its way to her hair, his grip rough as he held her closer, urging her to take as much of him into her mouth as possible. 

He closed his eyes in pleasure as he hit the back of her throat, the feeling of her gagging around him making him lose control instantly, releasing into her mouth and watching as she took it without complaint. Always the submissive- he thought. 

Y/n pulled away, wiping her mouth with her hand before standing up, meeting his eyes briefly before glancing away as he pulled up his sweats.  

She went to speak but the doors to the gym squeaked open as a couple people walked in. 

They went back to their training session as if nothing had ever happened.

The next day she turned up to training quieter than normal. She silently obeyed every instruction he gave her and she made no comments or extra intentional touches to his body. He had been frowning the whole session trying to work out what was wrong, but she gave absolutely nothing away. Only occasionally giving him a small smile when he praised her for doing something right. 

It was like it the next day and the following after that. She listened to him intently and didn’t make any unnecessary conversations. Her undivided attention solely on learning. 

She had been thinking about everything the past few days. She had gotten what she had wanted, but it felt worse than before. She thought it would fill the loneliness that she held in her heart, but it was only temporary. Y/n had remembered that Steve didn’t actually care about her. He was paid to act like it and babysit her.

Steve hadn’t brought that day in the gym up once and she was glad. She didn’t want him to rub it in her face how it meant nothing, or listen to him tell her it was a mistake and could never happen again. 

“whats up?” Steve asked, holding still the punching bag that Y/n had been hitting before she let out a sigh, her shoulders sagging as she gave up. 

“have no energy left” she spoke. Steve walked over to her, lifting both her wrists up and making her flinch away from the contact of his skin on hers. 

“I'm just taking the gloves off” he said frowning at her reaction. She let him, watching him as he lifted her hands one by one and pulling the gloves off gently. 

“It’s more than that” he spoke knowingly, starting to unravel the wraps around her hands. 

“It’s personal” she said quietly. Steve got the message clear. She was wedging the professionalism between them, as if they hadn’t already crossed that line. 

“You can tell me” he said “I’ll listen” 

“yeah. That’s the thing” she mumbled. 

“what do you mean by that?” he asked, genuinely sounding concerned. She couldn’t tell if it was fake or not. 

“ you’ll listen, but you won��t care” she shrugged.

“I’ll care” he spoke frowning as she turned to walk away towards the gyms exit. Passing along rows of Stark employees on their lunch break work outs.

He followed her out of the gym and into the hallway to her quarters. 

“Y/n” he spoke catching up to her “I will care.” he said softly “I do care. Trust me... please” 

TAGS:

Forever Tags: @dreambigbeawesome @hellosafie @linheliano @thisismysecrethappyplace @mannls @1elboomdemsechevarria @myrabbitholetoneverland @jbarnes87 @permanent-lines @alyssaj23 @piensa-bonito @maresmiley @soldierplum @jjsoccer11 @les-bio-lie @dewy-biitch @despelllestrange @unlikelygalaxygiver @hiddles-rose @httpmcrvel @breezy1415 @artisticlales @imthegirlyourparentswarnedyouof @xinyourdreamsx @stevieboyharrington @maladaptive-ninja-returns @teenwolfbitches2 @harryngtonewithyourshit @strangersstranger @sthorkronstrangy

Steve Rogers: @patzammit

[izzy-b-hands]

Aten Pt. 3

How much longer will this fic be? Idk, but I’m having fun, so here we go again!

Went ahead and just uh...sort of created my own canon re: the tablet. Look, if the movie writers could do whatever they wanted with it, so can I lol. No rules, no right, just me doing whatever I want with canon. 

We get nsfw at the end because I couldn’t help myself lol. Definitely gonna be a part four and maybe more?? Because I’m not done with these two yet. 

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

He was bored. Horribly bored. It was silly, he knew that. After all, they’d only had two dates. To be so attached this much already was ridiculous, foolhardy.

Yet he lay on the couch in the employee lounge, doing nothing except feeling lonely and trying to get his sandals off his feet, using only his feet to kick and tug at them. 

Larry walked in, and sighed. “Important business, huh? You ever lose your hands, you’ll be set.” 

They shared a brief look, and Ahk broke.

“I miss him,” he grumbled. “And it isn’t his fault; he needs to keep up his studies, and I’m being childish and silly and stupid and-” 

“And you still miss him despite all that, and that’s okay,” Larry interrupted, lifting Ahk’s legs so he could sit on the end of the couch, letting Ahk’s legs sit on his lap. “It isn’t a bad thing. Just means you really like each other, and that’s what you wanted, right?” 

“It is,” Ahk replied. “But this is...fast. Too fast? I wouldn’t know, I’ve never had anything like this. Flings, sure, but nothing concrete. Nothing where we both wanted...” 

“More?” 

He nodded, and covered his face with his hands. “I don’t want to mess this up.” 

“You aren’t going to mess anything up,” Larry soothed. “You two have barely gotten started, so don’t go worrying about an end that you might not even have.” 

“I suppose you’d know,” Ahk said. “I mean, you’ve been in a...well.” 

“You mean my divorce? Yeah, that’s a sort of ending for a relationship. But a whole different level than where you two are. Don’t worry so much; you and...what have you been calling him? He told me, but I won’t want to get it wrong.” 

“Aten,” Ahk replied. “Because he warms me like the sun used to.” 

Larry smiled. “You really are falling hard, aren’t you?” 

“I am,” Ahk admitted softly, blushing as he pondered what Aten was up to with the group project. Was he tired, frustrated, stressed? “I’d rather learn to fly beside him though, instead of falling until I hit bottom, you know?” 

Larry nodded. “I get it. And I think you two will be just fine. Physically, at least, we know for sure you’re good together. I mean, I presume, from accidentally walking in, and-” 

“I’m so sorry about that,” Ahk said, blushing even more. “We really will start locking the door, I promise.” 

“It’s okay,” Larry laughed. “No harm done. And if you needed anyone else to have uh...proof that you two are getting along, well, I saw it. You have anything planned for tomorrow night with him? On the couch or off of it, I mean.” 

“Stop!” Ahk found himself giggling. Giggling! When had his afterlife ever held so much joy? It was wonderful. “A movie, maybe. I do want to get to know him, not just his body. I figure that might be an okay time to sit and relax, talk some.” 

“I can try and get you some movies,” Larry said. “Unless you both really want to watch the movie on whales playing in the theater here. But he likes classic older movies, I know that much, so if you want me to...” 

“You wouldn’t mind?” 

“Of course not. I’ll find some DVDs for you, make sure the player in here is up to snuff. Not sure it’s ever been used, if I’m honest,” Larry replied. “We’ll get it all set up, and you two can have a movie night for the next few nights. Sound good?” 

Ahk nodded. “Thank you, Larry. For all of this.” 

“Not a problem. I like helping you two out; you’re good, sweet kids.” 

“We’re both adults,” Ahk laughed. “We do act a bit like love-sick teenagers though, I suppose.” 

“If anyone has a right to moments like that, it’s you,” Larry said. “You deserve a chance to just relax, have fun with someone. I know you don’t really ever stop being royalty, but...some time off, maybe. Or time where you don’t have to think about it, or act like it. He knows and likes you for you, not the pharaoh he read about on your informational plaque.” 

He lifted Ahk’s legs and stood, setting them gently back on the couch. “I’ve got some other chores to look after, but I’ll try and check back in on you, okay? You good alone in here? Not gonna pine too much?” 

“No promises,” Ahk snickered, but inside his heart was heavy. How quickly he’d gotten used to Aten’s attention and presence, to something that was too new to be love, but tasted sweetly of it, and that he couldn’t get enough of. 

He was glad he hadn’t promised as the night progressed. He languished alone in the lounge, trying to think of anything other than Aten, his voice, his smile, his hands, his lips. 

Finally, he broke down and retrieved the pen and paper from his things in Larry’s locker. He hadn’t written love poetry as others his age had for their lovers, though he’d thought about it once or twice. He couldn’t match the beauty of the tablets displayed in the hall near his exhibit, bearing love poetry that took one’s breath away. 

But he had to try, or his heart would burst. And hopefully, Aten would be as kind and receptive to it as Ahk expected. 

He hid the final draft with him in his sarcophagus. He knew Larry wouldn’t judge him for it, but for now, it was for his and Aten’s eyes only.

***

He nearly fell out of his sarcophagus in his rush to leave it the next night. He was ready for it, to show Aten the poem, to have movie night with him, to sit and snuggle and talk. It was all terribly romantic, and he loved every bit of it.

But Larry was the only one that greeted him at the main desk. 

“It’s okay,” Larry reassured. “He’s just got a bad cold, and he was very worried you could somehow get sick, so he didn’t want to come in-” 

“I’ll go to him then,” Ahk interrupted. 

“Ah,” Larry mumbled. “You’d have to ch-” 

Before Larry could finish his sentence, Ahk dashed to the lounge, changing into his sweatshirt and pants at the speed of light, leaving his royal garb tossed on the couch.

He panted as he arrived back at the desk, feeling to ensure the poem was still safe in the bag of his things that he’d taken from Larry’s locker. He wasn’t sure he’d need any of it, but better safe than sorry. “I’m changed.” 

“So I see,” Larry laughed. “I told him I was sending over a surprise. He misses you too, so this will cheer him up. All he could talk about when he called me earlier, actually. He hated the idea of not making it in tonight. I doubt you can get sick though. Anyway, I called you a cab, and you’ll have to be back-” 

“I could spend the day with him,” Ahk interrupted. “There’s a...how to word it. A setting? On the tablet. Only I can change it, as the guardian of it. It leaves the magic...on? I don’t know how else to explain it, and I know it has something to do with running on the power of the moon and the sun then, but-” 

He waved a hand. “That doesn’t matter right now. What it means, is I could spend the night and day with him, and I promise to be careful and safe and-” 

“Slow down!” Larry held up his hands. “I’m not arguing! Though I am curious...you never wanted to change the setting ever before? To see what would happen if you left everyone alive all day?” I know it won’t affect everyone else now, but...” 

“I wanted to save it for emergencies,” Ahk replied. “And this is one!” 

“Okay,” Larry smiled. “Tell you what. You go change it, and I’ll get the DVDs I brought in your bag. I’m sure he’s got some way to play them. Go on, get it done!” 

He ran again, nearly sliding past the open door to his exhibit in his haste. The changing of it was easy enough. An incantation and the flip of a square on the tablet, and a moment later he could feel it was done as the tablet glowed briefly. He felt more energized, more alive. It was wonderful. 

Now, he had a boyfriend (or something close to one, since they hadn’t said that word yet) to go look after. 

He browsed the DVDs as he rode in the cab. The Clock, Funny Face, An American In Paris, The King and I...movies he knew, and had seen once or twice, but only while on display near the theaters in other museums, the times they had displays on famous films and plays. 

The selection only sort of mattered anyway, and Larry had done fine enough. Ideally, they’d be able to sit and talk while the movies played in the background, though he couldn’t fault Aten if he fell asleep. He remembered sickness like that, in a vague way, that left the body weary and weak. So long as they were together, he’d be happy. 

Aten’s apartment building was plain, but he remembered other students at other museums speaking of living in such conditions. When school was the priority, any roof (particularly a cheap one) would do. 

He used the buzzer in the front hall, and hoped Aten was still awake enough to hear it. 

“Larry?” Aten sounded utterly miserable.

“Not Larry,” Ahk replied, and smiled at the happy if tired laugh that answered him. 

“No way! Come on up...oh god, I’ll be dressed decent by the time you get up here, I promise.” 

“Decent or indecent, you’re perfect either way,” Ahk said before charging up the first two flights of stairs. By the third, he had slowed down. By the fourth, Aten’s floor, he was cursing the invention of stairs. 

He leaned against the door, trying to look like he didn’t feel horribly out of breath and exhausted from only four flights of stairs, and knocked. 

“Hey! Ah, the stairs got ya. Happens to everyone; they take getting used to,” Aten said as he ushered him in. 

“Do they punish you by not putting in an elevator? Are they unaware that the technology exists?” 

Aten laughed, then coughed hard. 

“Go sit,” Ahk instructed, setting his bag on the small table in between the kitchen and the living room (really just one room, though the table wasn’t a horrible line of demarcation.) “I’m here to take care of you.” 

“You might get-” 

“I don’t think I can get sick,” Ahk interrupted softly. “And even if I do, you can just return the favor later and take care of me.” 

“Deal,” Aten sighed as he flopped onto the couch, looking absolutely adorably cuddly in his own sweater and sweatpants. “Sorry I’m not great company tonight. I feel like shit. Do you have an ancient Egyptian cure for that?” 

“No, but Larry apparently bought you cough syrup,” he said, pulling a bottle out of the bag. He hadn’t seen Larry sneak it in, but it was certainly a sweet gesture. “That’s as close to a cure as you’ll get.” 

“You don’t know any magic cures for colds?” 

“Sorry, my love,” Ahk said as he brought the bottle and DVDs over to the coffee table by the couch, and sat by Aten. “Even we didn’t figure that out. Not with or without magic.” 

“Love?” Aten smiled.

The blush left him feeling overly warm, and he looked away. “Sorry, that’s-” 

“Really sweet, and just fine,” Aten interrupted, and grabbed his hand. “My DVD player is really out, and kind of shitty, but why don’t we throw something on and you can cuddle with me. I think that’s a cure for a cold, I read it somewhere.” 

“Did you now?” Ahk teased as he went to put a DVD on, grabbing one at random. “And where was that? What journal?” 

“Very highly respected one,” Aten replied with a grin. “Love-based medicine journal. I think you’d like it.” 

He sat at the DVD player for a moment more, and giggled. “Sounds reputable. You’ll have to read it to me sometime.” 

“To you?” 

“Sure. I can spend the days and nights here now, if I want, and I might need a bedtime story,” Ahk said as he moved back to the couch, the beginning of the movie flashing on the screen of Aten’s TV. “I mean, I said just tonight and tomorrow to Larry. But I think, even after the tablet is fixed, there’s a way for me to arrange it so the magic continuing into the day only affects me.” 

There was, and he knew it for sure, but that was his secret to hang onto for now. Larry might not go for it right away, and he wanted to give him time to warm up to it. 

“You...so there’s a way to use it so you can stay alive during the day too? You get to spend the night?” 

“If you’ll have me,” Ahk replied, wrapping an arm around him. “I don’t want to impose.” 

“No, not at all. I want you to stay,” Aten said, then sniffled. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry, you can’t help it. Relax, rest. You need it.” 

They sat for a bit then as the King and I played, Aten eventually laying so his head was in Ahk’s lap, and he could run his hands through that reddish-blonde hair, watch the light from the one small lamp hear them catch it. 

Aten sighed softly, and stretched carefully, not unlike a cat. 

“You like that?” 

He nodded. “You’re gonna put me to sleep if you keep playing with it like that though.” 

“You need the sleep,” Ahk replied. “I’ll be here when you wake up, don’t worry.” 

Aten buried his face in Ahk’s stomach and his heart leapt. It was so cute it hurt.

“This is way too early to say this, but-” 

“Why?” he interrupted. “Why is it too early?” 

Aten moved his face back, and looked up at him. “Because in other relationships, it was. I scared them off, I think. I don’t mean anything by it, like we don’t need to run to get married right now or anything, but I mean...okay, I do mean something by it, and that’s that I love you and I love that you seem to love me and I really hope we keep loving each other like this, even though I know nothing’s perfect all the time.” 

He took a breath, but Aten coughed and kept going. 

“And I know that means we might fight over stupid shit, or have days where we’re both too tired to do anything other than sit near each other, and I know that this has to be a certain way because of who you are and what you have to do, and I’m more than ready to do whatever I have to so that all works out. I’m ready to work to preserve something that feels like it’s gonna be so good, even better than it already is.” 

His breath was gone then, as he gently moved Aten up close to him and kissed him. Aten’s arms were around his neck, and he could feel how warm the sickness had made him. 

“Dizzy?” he smiled as he let Aten lay back.

“In a good way,” he replied. “I take it that meant...” 

“That I love you too, and whatever and however we make this work. If I had my way, I’d never switch the tablet back, and we’d do this right. Staying together, not having to worry about my getting back to the museum at any point.” 

His statement hung in the air for a moment as Aten’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit. That’s...for me? Really?” 

“Really,” Ahk said. “...you’re actually dizzy right now, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah,” he sighed, and closed his eyes. “But that’s just the cold or whatever this is fucking up my inner ear, not you, I promise.” 

“I know, don’t worry. Maybe I should put you to bed though. We could save the movies for another night.” 

“No, I’m good,” Aten said, his eyes still closed, and immediately yawned. “Ignore that, that’s uh...a weird cough.” 

“Sure it is,” Ahk said, and started to play with his hair again. 

By the time the movie was over, Aten was snoring softly in his lap, turned slightly on his side. He need to be in bed, properly, that much Ahk knew for sure. 

Moving him, however, was a less than easy task. He didn’t wake so much as opened and then promptly closed his eyes again as Ahk worked to sit him up, then to drag him off the couch and down the hall to the bedroom, passing the alarmingly small bathroom as they went. 

“You’re lucky you’re so cute, and I’m so strong,” Ahk teased as he attempted to drop Aten gently on his bed. 

“You are so strong,” Aten mumbled, half-muffled by the part of the comforter smashed against his face. “I love it. C’mere, I wanna feel your muscles. Lemme feel.” 

“You can do that tomorrow; you need sleep now,” Ahk said as he pondered if trying to move Aten so he was laying in the bed, not just flopped onto one side of it would be worth the trouble. He was at least on the bed, after all, and apparently comfortable enough. 

“Nah. Gotta feel ‘em, right now,” Aten rolled over, his eyes barely open as he reached his hands out for Ahk. 

“You’re too tired, it’s making you silly.” 

Aten grumbled something, and rolled back over, sighing into the comforter. 

He bit back a laugh. It was adorably pathetic, the poor thing. “Shall I help you actually get into the bed? I bet you’d be more comfortable than you are now.” 

“Eh.” 

“I’ll let you snuggle with me if you properly get in the bed.” 

Aten scrabbled forward and then up and over so he was finally at one of the pillows on the bed. “I did it.” 

“Yes, you did. I should go get you the medicine-” 

“No. Just want you,” Aten interrupted. “That’s good medicine.” 

“You and that love-based medicine journal. Dangerous reading, it seems,” Ahk joked as he lay down beside Aten. 

The way Aten immediately leaned over to kiss him, hard, then moving to lay on top of him was no joke however. It was good, the best, though he knew he needed to stop him. As much as they both might want it, what Aten really needed was rest. 

But he let it go for a few moments, finding it impossible to stop from moaning and whimpering under Aten’s kisses and touch. 

“Fuck,” he murmured after a particularly searing kiss, that left him grinding his hips as hard as he could against Aten’s. They were both hard, and he wanted desperately to get both of their clothes off, to be as close as possible. 

But that wasn’t what they should be doing, and he tried again to speak up, only for it to turn from a “I know you’re tired, why don’t we pick this up in the morning” to a “fuck, please don’t stop” as Aten moaned against his neck, bit down just so on his shoulder, whining and sighing as one of his hands moved to pull Ahk’s legs around him. 

Finally, he managed it. “Love...hang on.” 

Aten stopped immediately, eyes open wide. “I’m sorry; are you okay?” 

“I’m fine. But you aren’t. You’re sick, and you should be asleep right now. I can see you’ve got your second wind, but we can always finish this in the morning.” 

“But you’re close, aren’t you?” that was a wonderfully wicked smile that broke only to kiss him again as Aten’s hips moved against his. “So am I.” 

“This isn’t up for debate,” he tried to say, but it turned into a gasping sigh. “You...fucking hell. You really want to finish this, now?” 

Aten was wide awake now, he could tell that, those deep, dark gorgeous brown eyes looking into his in such a way he couldn’t break the connection of the gaze. 

“I want this. As much as I want all of it. To be with you all through tomorrow, to sit and talk and do whatever else we want. To keep seeing you whenever I can, to keep doing this whenever we both want to and can. As much as I want you, for you. The man behind the crown that plays with my hair and drags me into bed when I don’t feel well, that loves me.” 

The tears that fell were happy ones as he let himself rock against Aten again, kissing him softly, sweetly. They came within moments of each other, limbs intertwined, his legs pulling Aten as close as he could possibly be. 

“You...fuck, sorry, I....” he could hardly catch his breath as they calmed, hips still jerking every now and again against each other. “You need to sleep now.” 

“You’re right,” Aten sighed, and kissed him. “So do you. You get to sleep, actually sleep for once. You remember how?” 

“Funny,” Ahk smirked as he untangled himself from Aten, to try and find a towel to clean them up. But the bathroom only had room for the toilet, bath, and a medicine cabinet. “You don’t have towels?” 

“They’re in here. I don’t have anywhere else to put them, so they’re in my dresser.” 

Ahk came back into the bedroom, and frowned as he retrieved one from the third dresser drawer. “I don’t even want to know how much you pay for this little space.” 

“Man, even I don’t wanna know that. I try to forget about it until I have to pay it each month. I mean, I budget and shit so I’m never short, not yet at least, but at the same time...it’s nice pretending I don’t know that number,” Aten chuckled, and reached for the towel. 

“Let me,” Ahk swatted away his hand, moving the waistband of Aten’s sweatpants so he could clean him. “You sit there and rest.” 

“Tired of resting.” 

“You’ve been sick what, one day? And you’re sick of resting already?” he teased as he used the same towel to clean himself, enjoying the way Aten’s eyes trailed down as he slipped his sweatpants nearly off his hips. 

“Sick of being sick, sick of resting. And we should change, pants at least, or we’ll both feel gross in the morning. Fourth drawer has all my lazy clothes in it.” 

The hamper for towels was set right by the hamper for clothes, just before the door of the bedroom, and Ahk tossed the towel in before searching the drawer. 

“Oh...my darling,” he giggled as he pulled one of the few Ahkmenrah-branded items from the drawer. A pair of sweatpants bearing a tablet pattern, to be specific. “This is adorable.” 

“Hey, they said that money from the sale of those goes to maintaining your exhibit. I couldn’t not get them,” Aten replied. “And I bet you’d look cute in them.” 

He changed with a smirk while Aten watched, then tossed a pair of clean grey sweatpants over to him.

The dirty ones didn’t quite make it to the hamper, but neither of them cared. He actually felt tired, of all things, and it was all the more wonderful a feeling because it came with falling asleep beside Aten, in the dark of his tiny bedroom. 

He hadn’t even thought of tomorrow’s plans, and he didn’t want to. It might come too soon then, and before he knew it he’d have to be back at the museum. 

For now, it was just them, the dark, and the softness and warmth of the sheets and comforter, as he slept, truly slept, for the first time in thousands of years. 

[timetoresurface]

EXCHANGE / JJK (4)

to give something and receive something of the same kind in return

Note: It took me a while to write this part and I'm sorry. I’ve been really busy with work, extra classes and keeping up with all my fictional worlds such as The Avengers, Game of Thrones, ... Also BTS have been so active lately and I don’t want to miss a thing even though I want them to rest. Also show my story some love by reading, liking, reblogging and commenting. Love to hear your thoughts.

Pairing: reader x Jungkook

Genre: romance, non idol AU

Warnings: none

Word count: 2700 words

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / / PART 5 / PART 6 / PART 7

Summary: Yes, you are an exchange student. You noticed EF also organized trips to Seoul and you wanted something different than the same five people in your hometown. You came to the beautiful city to learn and relax, most definitely not to fall in live with one of the teachers. Definitely not the young extracurricular teacher who seemed to be good at everything.

*Y/N = your name *Y/C = your city/country

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Nothing could have prepared you for a dance class taught by Jungkook. You already knew you weren’t a great dancer but apparently you were even worse than you thought you were going to be. Even Alfie was better than you were and he moved as stiff as a wooden plank. 

Maybe you were bad because of Jungkook and his staring eyes. He had chosen a rather cute but sexy song, Likey by TWICE, and you had never felt so uncomfortable in your own skin before. If Alfie hadn’t filled you in about campus gossip that morning, it might not have been such a big deal. But it was. 

Maybe it was because he was such a great dancer and you couldn’t fully focus on moving your own body while following the flow of his. He was a living work or art, his tanned skin so tempting to touch, every move giving away his strength. Maybe it was because of the glaring eyes of the other dancers in the room you stumbled over your own feet. 

“That was great everyone? Let’s do this again this Sunday. If you have some spare time to practice, please do. Exercise is good for your health, definitely when you’re crammed into a study room all day.” Jungkook concluded his class and everyone started to circle around him. You and Alfie were both tired and decided to leave immediately. 

“Well, that was more challenging than I expected.” You confessed.

“Yes, you suck.” Alfie laughed.

“That’s harsh. I’ll practice so next time I will at least be better than you.” This was said with a determinate look on your face.

“You can always ask for some private lessons. Our teacher won’t mind.” A grin spread over Alfie’s face, wide and open, showing his over-whitened teeth.

“See you tomorrow, Alfie.” You said completely ignoring his remark. 

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N! You look better without it. I’ll see you tomorrow in class. Goodnight.” He waived and vanished toward his room, leaving you alone in the cold hallway. You weren’t actually planning to go inside your room but you quickly remembered the blanket you had stolen from Jungkook’s place. You waited for five minutes before leaving your room and sneaking toward Jungkook’s. 

You hid behind doors when someone walked near you. You tried to hide every time you heard an unknown noise behind you. Never in your life had you felt so unsafe before. Nobody was even allowed to get a glimpse of your scheming body. They could create a story more spectacular than the last and you weren’t ready for another round of campus gossip with you or Jungkook as main characters.

“What are you doing?” Someones asked behind you making you fall to the ground. Luckily for you the blanket you carried kind of broke your fall. 

“Oh God, I’m so sorry Y/N.” A panicked Jungkook helped you get up and didn’t want to let you go before checking if nothing was broken or bruised.

“Really Jungkook, I’m fine. I did ask you before to stop surprising me. I scare easily and maybe next time your blanket won’t break my fall.” You brushed the dust off your legs and picked up his blanket.

“Here you go.” You said while handing him back what was rightfully his. “I did technically steal this last time I was here.” He gratefully accepted and leaded you into his room. Well, it is more than a room, it is a studio that’s quite typical in Korea. Ground-floor kitchen, bathroom and living area. Small stairs leading up to his bedroom you suspected. Last time you were here you hadn’t fully paid attention to Jungkook’s private space so you made sure you did now. Something in you wanted to know more about him.

“You are very clean Jungkook. You have lived here for over a year and it is spotless. My room has only been occupied by me for a couple of days and I can barely find my bed.” You complimented him while sitting down on the sofa you had slept on last time you were here. It was still as comfortable as you remembered. The awkward memories of the morning after filled your thoughts and manifested on your cheeks.

“Thank you.” He shyly smiled. “How are we going to do this?” His question made you uncomfortable for a second but then you saw the black hair dye on his dinner table. Yes, you were just going to dye his hair and nothing more. 

“First you will read me the back of the box. So we don’t miss any steps. And also get a towel you’re not really attached to.” This was the beginning of you being bossy and telling Jungkook what to do. He happily obliged and completed every task you gave him with eager puppy eyes. 

Finally, after half an hour or so, he was seated and you stood behind him dying his hair black. It wasn’t a difficult job to do but it did give you some anxiety. What if he didn’t like his black hair and would blame it all on you? What if you didn’t like his black hair, could you look him in the eye and tell him so?

“Don’t worry Y/N. I won’t blame you if I don’t like my hair.” Jungkook suddenly said disturbing your running thoughts. 

“How’d you know?” You silently asked him. 

“You’re suddenly very quiet and what I’ve gathered of information about you, you’re usually the talkative kind.” He tried to look up at you but you pushed down his head while simultaneously working on his hair.

“That sounds quite stalkerish.” That’s what you said but you felt a little bit special that he had taken his time to discover little things about you. 

“I’m not used to talking to girls.” His smile was heard through his little confession.

“You talk to girls for a living, Jungkook. Don’t lie to me.” Pushing back his hair you went and stand in front of him to get a better look at your masterpiece in progress. His beautiful dark brown hair was being replaced by a much darker tone by your hand.

“I usually don’t talk to girls as pretty as you are.” You almost dropped your brush at his remark. He didn’t look up at you. His eyes were wandering everywhere except over to you, who so desperately wanted to make sure this was a joke. You noticed his ears turning red so you just decided to play along and ignore the awkwardness that was comfortably settling around the two of you.

“Well, I haven’t talked to such a handsome guy as you before either. So we’re even.” You giggled while continuing to color his hair. He started to relax again and you could see the tension leaving his body.

“Did you enjoy my dance class?” He asked changing the subject. You just sighed.

“I’m a terrible dancer and I’m sure you noticed. So you were great, but the dancing part not so great.” You blurted out as you had to ventilate to someone and Jungkook was just so easy to talk too.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself Y/N. I thought you were great for a first time and I’ll make sure you’ll improve.” 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” You shyly started. “Have you heard some of the campus gossip?” The last part was whispered. Scared that someone might hear the word ‘gossip’ and would barge into Jungkook’s room looking for the gossip.

“There is always gossip and I can’t keep up with it anymore.” He kept looking at you and his stare felt so much more intense you couldn’t look at him. You just kept dying his hair even though you were almost finished.

“Well, there is gossip about you and kind of about me, you know about us.” Your silent confession created a weird atmosphere between the two of you.

“Did someone see us have dinner?” He asked sharply.

“No, but I’l glad nobody did. The gossip would’ve been worse if someone knew.” Your voice was soft as the hard look in his eyes started to worry you.

“It’s not like I think there is something going on between us. I know that, but not everyone believes the innocence of our conversations. So I think it is better that nobody knows about us secretly hanging out and maybe we should just stop that too.” 

“So you don’t want to hang out with me anymore?” The hurt expression on his face made you doubt you actions for a second. 

“No, that’s not what I meant. We just can’t do stuff alone, you know. We can still hang out in group.” His hair was finished so you walked away from him to clean the stuff you had accidentally touched with the brush in your hand. 

“If that is what you want than I will, because I’m not ready to stop getting to know you.” His words were strengthened by him softly touching your hand and you felt a tingling sensation where he had touched you briefly. 

“Thank you.” Was the only thing that came out of you and luckily he didn’t notice your heart racing in your chest. 

“So what do we do now?” He asked while helping you clean.

“Now we wait for ten minutes or so and then I will rinse your hair to get rid of the product.” You stopped cleaning your hands and moved your body to face him. His features highlighted with his hair pushed back. 

“Let’s play a game.” He cheerfully said with the biggest grin on his face.

“What do you want to play?” You were bit more hesitant as games brought a competitive side out of you, you mostly tried to hide from people.

“Maybe it’s not really a game, but let’s ask each other questions.” The excited look on his face made your insides feel funny, but as always you tried to ignore the feelings Jungkook brought out in you.

“You first.” You said.

“Why are you in Seoul with EF?” 

“I’m obsessed with Korean tv shows so I wanted to see the place where a lot of my favorite dramas are located. And EF offers Korean lessons so maybe in a couple of months I will be able to watch without having to rely on subtitles as much as I do now.” It felt weird to tell him the truth as it sounded so lame and cliche. Maybe next time someones asks you this question, you just lie and make your reason more juicier than it really is.

“So you don’t have like this Asian fetish?” 

“Isn’t it my turn to ask you a question?” You laughed and he blushed. He nodded is head for you to continue. “Why are you in Seoul?”

“To avoid responsibilities and I’m also trying to prove to my parents that I can make it on my own. It’s harder than I expected but on days like this, I’m glad I’m here.” Every time he opened up he showed so much of himself. He was so confident in confiding to you it made you feel like there was something strong connecting the two of you. Something you both felt but couldn’t describe.

“Why is that?” 

“My turn. So answer my last question.”

“No, I don’t have a really weird fetish. I do like the idea of an interracial relationship but I need way too much attention for it to ever really work. Now you answer my question.” Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything about relationships as you felt like you had just courted him.

“I’m always busy and most of my friends are in Busan. So on days like this when I get to hang out with someone fun, someone I just met, I’m really glad I made it to Seoul.” His confession warmed your heart. He was you as someone fun, as someone who was worth spending time with. It had been a while that someone had said something like that to you.

“Have you had a lot of relationships?” He asked while fumbling with his hands.

“I had a few but only one that was meaningful, you know.” It still was a bit hard for you to talk about your last relationship even though it had been over more than a year.

“No, I really don’t. I never really had a real relationship. Only a few dates but no one really caught me into a real working relationship.” 

“Maybe for the better. Heartbreak is really the worst and nobody deserves it.”

“Have you experienced heartbreak?” His eyes filled with worry as he asked his question.

“Let’s not talk about these painful subjects.” You said while looking at the time. “I think ten minutes have already passed so I should rinse out the product.” He quickly stood up and made his way toward the bathroom. You hadn’t talked about how you were going to remove the product out of his hair but you thought the best option was in his kitchen sink.

“Where are you going?” You asked him confused. You followed him into his bathroom and you caught him taking off his shirt. He turned around and you sucked in a sharp breath as his shirtless torso was exposed to you. You were shocked, stunned, amazed, mesmerized by his physique. It was like nothing you've ever seen before. His body was drool-worthy. His abdominals were sculptured to perfection instantly giving off the impression that he came out of a Calvin Klein shoot.

“What are you doing?” You whispered.

“I don’t want my shirt to get wet. You already ruined my towel with your unsteady hand.” His face showed a smirk on his god like face, casting a spell of lust to eyes that dare to look his way. He put on the shower and water started pouring out of the shower head he had just given to you. He bowed down so you could easily rinse all of the remaining product out of his hair. 

You did your best to not touch him but your hand found its was to his shoulder to steady you. Your hand also travelled through his dyed black hair to wash it clean. He handed you his shampoo and you started to wash his hair while he held the running shower head for you. The actions were more intimate than you had first accepted his offer to dye his hair, but you weren’t complaining. No, you were really enjoying the feeling of your hands running through his hair? You appreciated your view of his bare back while his muscles tensed every time you accidentally touched him.

“I’m all done.” You said while turning off the shower. You gave him a new fresh towel so he could wipe the water from his face.

“What do you think?” He asked you. With is hair all wet and pushed back he looked almost god like, but you weren’t going to tell him that.

“You look extremely good with black hair, Jungkook. I’ll give you my final grading tomorrow when I can admire your new hair in day light.” His ears turned red but his eyes shone bright because of your compliment.

“I’ll get going now. It’s late and I’m still tired from yesterday.” 

“I’ll walk you to your room.” He offered while putting back on his shirt.

“You don’t have to do that. Remember the campus gossip I told you about?” These words saddened his face a bit but he seemed understanding.

“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. Thank you so much for helping me.” His hand was massaging the back of his neck out of nervousness and the cuteness was almost too much to handle.

“My pleasure.” Were your final words before you stepped out the door in the cold hallway. He kept standing in his doorway before you were completely out of view. Somehow it felt like the both of you were closer than before even though you wanted to accomplish the opposite. Even though you asked him to stay away, your heart wanted him to keep on bugging you with silly questions.

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

PSA- How It All Went Down On February 10th

Today is the one year anniversary of when I got into Def Leppard, and how everything on this blog came to be becuase of today. Below is the entire story of how I came across Leppard, and how this blog came about. 

Happy one year!

Let me get one thing clear- I definitely grew up on Def Leppard in one way or another.

My dad’s been a huge fan since ‘83, so of course, I heard their music growing up. However, I didn’t exactly know it was them that I was hearing- I just always heard their name from my dad. I kept my own taste in music, and never paid attention to them (since I didn’t exactly know who they were).

So, the road to my current state of Leppard-loving actually began at the beginning of my sophomore year (fall 2016). For some reason I "rediscovered" Sugar (as in I never knew the title or the artist of it but always heard it as a kid) and started listening to it a lot. A lot.

During my sophomore year, I transitioned my music taste into classic rock. I don’t remember how this happened, but it was for the best.

 At the end of my sophomore year, I "rediscovered" Animal (same scenario) and started listening to it a lot, but never listened to any other song by them voluntarily. 

In the summer following this (summer 2017), whenever we burned a fire on our deck, we would always play Weird Al/ Electric Amish (stuff like that) when we were out there late at night. Eventually, one night in July, I was out of ideas of what to play so I asked my dad (a huge DL fan) what I should put on and of course he simply says "Def Leppard." I asked him what song and said to just pick one, so I thought, “oh god I don't really know any of their songs and I don’t know what he likes, what should I pick? Okay, I’ll pick one I don’t know. Let's just pick the first one that comes up that I don't know" and it just so happens that that one was Hysteria, and I put it on and immediately my dad goes "Ahh.. you had to pick this one...” and tilts his head back, looking up at the sky.

He then told me the story of the first time it was played for the rest of the band (which isn’t 100% true, but this is just what he knew) he said that one of the guitarists (it was actually Phil and Sav) played what they had so far for the rest of the band around a campfire like we were doing (which turned out to be some of Sav and Phil's Irish friends).

But it felt really cool being out there with this song playing, and it was the first time I had ever heard it, too. Hysteria was my favorite song within a week. But, still, I could probably only name 3 or 4 DL songs at this point (I apparently did know more, but none by name). Those 3 or 4 DL songs kinda defined that summer for me, funny enough.

October of 2017: I don't exactly know how it happened, (I think I heard it on the radio) but I rediscovered Photograph (I actually knew this one by name) and became OBSESSED WITH IT FOR ALL OF NOVEMBER. Making music videos in my head, writing it into my NaNoWriMo novel, listening to it whenever I could, just wow- I love it. That's when it became my favorite song of all time (and it still is- tied with Hysteria).

It's January of 2018 now, and I'm still cooing over Photograph and Sugar and Hysteria and Animal, then January 14th, 2018 comes around- I almost meet Rick by accident, then a week or so later I'm watching the Metal Mayhem block on MTVC...

A video ends, it fades to black, and then suddenly I hear that "pck......" pluck of a string that echoes away and my heart jumps- “IT'S PHOTOGRAPH OHMYGODOHMYGOD...!!” 

It occurred to me right then and there that I had never seen the music video before (or even considered that there may have been one)

It had ALSO occurred to me that I had never once actually looked at a picture of the band. I'd never seen their faces. 

So I’ve got a favorite song I’ve been obsessed with for a solid two months, I discover its music video, and look at the band who sings it for the first time- and who starts singing my absolute favorite song of all time but an absolutely daSHING young man in a Union Jack tank top and a white scarf.

And then he hit me out of nowhere and I actually said to myself "God... the lead singer's actually kinda cute... like... really cute..." followed by an "oh no" shortly after because I knew I'd eventually fall madly in love with this simply adorable man who sings my favorite song, and I’d remember that that is what started it all (but that's not what started it all. It was simply an “I’ve been down this road before and this is typically how it starts.” I was more shocked than anything that my dad’s favorite band had a pretty cute lead singer- like how was that possible?) I was now, however, teetering on the edge of falling into an obsession... anything could set me off. 

And it finally did- on February 10th, 2018. My dad was taking me to a drama club rehearsal, and Bringin On the Heartbreak came on the radio. My dad turned it up and went "Yes! Old Leppard!" and at the chorus I went "WHAT'S THIS SONG CALLED I THINK I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE"

It was just the chorus I remembered, not exact words, but it just sounded all familiar, the melody of their forces, the screaming of the words, I'm pretty sure I heard it a really long time ago. And thus, it had begun. I went home, I found it on our iCloud and downloaded it.

Then I remembered my dad saying something when he was drunk about how "I nEED ROCK. LIKE ROCK. I'M TALKING LIKE- PYROMANIA. TWICE."

So I thought "I really really like a small handfull of Def Leppard’s songs. I think I should listen to them more. I'll listen to Pyromania- twice." (I’d heard of the album beforehand but never listened to it- or had I?). So I did one day. I listened to it. Twice. And BOOM; there were at least 4 songs on there right off the bat I most definitely recognized. Turns out I did know a ton of songs by Def Leppard- I just didn’t know it was them.

And of course I looked into them a bit more, hearing about all their popular stuff, listening to all of Hysteria, FINALLY looking up that handsome son of a bitch's name (Joe), finding out that one of the main composers of my favorite song went and died before I was born (Steve), and finding their more popular songs, and listening to all albums soon enough. 

I kept going back to tumblr to find pics of them and such, but there weren’t a lot. There wasn’t much on here at all about them. Whatever I did find, though, I reblogged. I was straight up obsessed within days. That week was crazy for my old tumblr. 

However, at the end of the week, on Feb 18th, only a week after it all began, I accidentally deleted my tumblr account (long story, don’t ask). I was honestly devastated because I had it for almost 4 years and all that history was now gone in the blink of an eye. Within the hour, I restarted and created a new tumblr account. I was lost on here and didn’t know where to begin, or get back on my feet. For one thing, I got my old url back ( @mccoys-killer-queen ) and immediately made my background the same pic of the guys as it was before to kind of trick myself into thinking nothing had changed.

I was wrong, and that was a good thing.

I got back into a fresh new blog, and started going around to people and asking them to spread the word on what happened and to hopefully get most of my followers back.

To this day I don’t remember all of them, and that’s been a good thing so far.

While I was doing this, I started talking to @raised-on-radio (whom I had only become mutuals with about a week earlier), 

“thinking about legit starting a def leppard blog tho” I said in the tags of a post I reblogged. She sent it back to me saying that I totally should (thanks, by the way!). And while I wasn’t totally serious about it at the time, I thanked her for the support so early on.

The next day- literally- the next day (Feb 19th), I messaged her and said that I couldn’t help myself, and made a DL blog (you’re looking at it right now). I’d never had a sideblog before, but within a week, I really enjoyed it (and obviously, I still do). Upon looking at this dead/sleeping fandom on tumblr, I realized right away it needed some sort of revival- to become like other fandoms in the modern day. There was no fanfic (on tumblr at least), there were no memes (oh heLL NO there was not), there wasn’t much circulation of posts, and it just felt dead- which I KNEW it wasn’t. It was very far from it.

Over the next month or so, it seemed now that I was involved with the fandom, it was starting to awaken in some ways. There were people actually posting content, more people were making blogs, memes got involved (I’m taking the credit for that, lmao, it seemed no one else posted memes except me and @stupidpicturesofdefleppard ). I don’t want to say I caused this awakening, but it just seems that it happened around the time I got involved with everything. A divine coincidence.

The year that followed was amazing in so many different ways. In a year, I went from not even looking at a photo of the guys and not even knowing their names, to interacting/having one of them and their official twitter interact with me on Twitter a few times, to meeting one of them in person (and putting my arm around him and having him call me ‘darling’), to having a year long obsession that’s still going strong, to knowing much more songs by them than any other artist, to knowing more facts and history about them than anything else, to being able to recognize them if given the slightest detail, and to being absolutely in love with every member and everything Def Leppard has done (not in that order!)

One year later, here we are! The past 365 days since I first heard Bringin’ On The Heartbreak in my dad’s car has been one hell of a story that’s taken me months to completely type out, and I can’t thank everyone enough for somehow making me gain 364 followers in the past year for something I never thought would get off the ground! If I told myself a year ago that I’d be where I am now, I don’t know what I’d think of it. I’d think it absolutely crazy- which it is!

But I wouldn’t change a thing about the last 365 days, that’s for damn sure. 

Rock on, guys!

[modesty-blaise]

Since I'm curious, what caused you to become very possessive of your gifs? Not out of rudeness but curious, since no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr which automatically credits you at the bottom of the gif.

Hey. Tbh, at first I didn’t wanna bother with yet another anon but since I see no ill intent behind this, I decided to go and answer it. Unfortunately, half-way through I realised my reply is turning into incredibly long semi-bitter rant and expands well beyond calling out just one person in Psychonauts fandom (and yes, this is related to Psychonauts fandom – you do know that these anons are not really that anonymous, right?) so… buckle up! All that beneath “read more”.

I’ve been on this hellsite for like…7-8 years? Maybe more? Can’t really tell cause I moved blogs and my old blog now consists of only 4 posts I’ve made close to leaving so I honestly have no idea how much time I’ve spend here before moving. Anyway, during those few years I’ve spent on my first blog I’ve met a lot of creative gifmakers who enjoyed sharing their love for fandoms they were in. I’d like to point out that this was waaaaay before tumblr created that insert-gif option so, back in the day, the only way to add gifs to your post was to: 1. make them yourself 2. take them from someone else. And a lot of people were taking them from someone else which resulted in many gifmakers giving up on making gifs and leaving fandoms and/or even leaving tumblr – and I’ve had many of my friends give up on what they love and have their games/shows/movies/whatnot ruined for them cause people would not stop stealing from them. And many of my friends eventually left tumblr cause they couldn’t deal with it anymore.

Tumblr adding insert-gif option, in my opinion, honestly, just made it worse for gifmakers. Cause now people had the opportunity to use gifs for their posts, with or without creators’ permission/knowledge, but it was alright and it was perfectly fine cause creators were credited. There’s their name at the bottom. It’s alright. Like… it doesn’t matter if they’re actually okay with people using something they’ve put hours into making or if they’re not – tumblr gives them credit so they SHOULD be okay with it. Simple as that.

Well, we’re all different and some people are not okay with that. I’m not okay with that. It took me weeks to figure out how to use photoshop correctly. Took me countless hours of looking through different tutorials and basically trial-and-error-ing my way through the process. Whenever I make gifs, it takes me hours to record videos and then hours trying to achieve that 3mb limit on gifs (thank lord these days we’re beyond 1mb limit). After all that effort I put into creating gifs for games that I love and enjoy, someone is going to make 2 clicks and have that same gif added to their post, without even asking. So how is that okay?

Back to your question. Yes, “no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr”, that is true and that is something I was aware of when I saw you-know-who announcing they would be starting 30 days Psychonauts challenge. So, hating to see my gifs used against my will, and not wanting to start any unnecessary drama and threaten people in advance with reporting them if they do use them, I’ve made my blog as private as I could. It was only accessible through the dashboard, it was not showing in ANY search engines inside and outside tumblr, and my gifs were impossible to find through insert-gif function – I’ve made sure. I did all that cause I just knew that during those 30 days, someone would use my gifs and I would get mad and I desperately wanted to avoid that (hence going extreme). And you know what happened? You know what creator of this challenge (who prevously already reposted my gifs) did? *drums* They used my shit anyway. :3 They just uploaded it from their computer, where they’ve saved it earlier.

And like… a lot of people see pretty pic and decide to save it - I mean, we all do that. Heck, even I have a folder full of shit I saw online and liked it – but i’m not uploading it online cause I haven’t made it. It’s not mine to share.

But some people are not like that.

Some people see fanart of something they like and they want to share their opinion on it – and instead of making their own post, maybe drawing the fanart themselves, they decide to use someone else’s art for their post. Do they know who made it? Do they have creator’s permission to share it? If the answer is NO, then they should be a decent human being and not do that to creators. Oh, they shared it anyway but now people in fandom are calling them out BUT this actually happened on accident? They know who the creator is but, somehow, they accidentally forgot to credit them? OK, well, it’s possible, shit happens, but they better make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Then sometime later these same people decide they want to make a post appreciating their fav character and they want to include pics cause duh, you can’t have character appreciation post without pics, right? Now they have several options: they can get their own screenshots, make their own gifs, maybe draw something… or they can just take someone else’s creation. Do they know who made it? Well there’s my fuckin name on it, and since they’ve stretched it from 245 to 500px, it’s really hard to miss, plus it’s not like there are that many people making Psychonauts gifs. Do they have permission to share it? Hmmm, nope, didn’t ask me. Is this also an accident? Could be. I mean, I’ve seen stranger things happen, so accidentally forgetting to credit content creators twice… kinda suspicious but still possible. Who am I to say?

Now if these people then decide to make a post appreciating their fav ship and they want to add a cute pic of the loving couple – yup, you guessed it! They can either create something or take something. Again: they know who did? They asked for permission? Got the permission? No?!?! But they posted it anyway?!?! :o Could it really be, that after being called out publicly, after being told that reposting is bad (something that’s very easy to understand), after even having tumblr staff intervene and remove stolen shit from their blog, after all that - could it really still be an accident?

Nah, man.

They just don’t give a shit.

Cause if they did, they’d stop with that crap first time they were called out.

(and if you think Psychonauts fandom is their only fandom and that they’re not doing this crap in other fandoms too - hoooo, boy, do I have some bad news for you! Do you know how many stolen and butchered HP fanart is on their blog? Hobbit stuff? They seem to be one of the most accident-prone users on tumblr. And honestly - it’s a real miracle their blog’s not been terminated.)

Back to what I was talking about - I’m not okay with people using my gifs and I’ve made it very clear. I literally do not give a shit if I’m credited or not, I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want my gifs used without my permission. If you like them and want them on your blog, there’s a fuckin reblog button. It’s sole purpose is to allow you to share other people’s creations. Or shitposts, cause lord knows we all love those.

So that’s why when someone spends hours going through my Psychonauts tag and goes as far as to send me “I love your gifs” anonymous message, but the very next day makes stim moodboard post including one of my gifs, now cut and resized to fit 3x3 format they’re going with, I get mad. And that’s why when someone uses one of my gifs to promote their RP blog, butchering it to fit their aesthetics, and later when confronted going as far as blaming their good friend on it cause god! they’ve had no idea it wasn’t theirs, I get mad. (makes you wonder though: if they friend has such skills, why not making them gifs themselves?)

Like…. I’ve had my gifs stolen plenty of times. I’ve had them stolen for roleplaying, for headers, for imagines, just for notes… I’ve had them stolen by people claiming to run official fan sites (that’s a real wild story but I won’t get into that now)… I’ve seen them on pinterest, weheartit, FB, all those random gif sites… and I’ve seen EVERY. POSSIBLE. EXCUSE. ranging from: “well i found it on google so why should i credit you” “lol dunno who made this but its pretty so im posting it” “ive had it on my computer for years so i don’t remember where i got it from” “i dont know how to make gifs so im using weheartit as a source” “credit to whoever made this” (that’s my fav) to “its just a gif so who gives a shit” (it’s not – it’s hours of creator’s time and lots of love that you’re now shitting on so thanks) and “i have an /illness/ and getting notes makes me feel better so dont u dare blame me for stealing” (I don’t remember exact excuse but it was something along those lines and like… how do you even respond to something that without looking like an asshole?).

And sometimes it really is just an accident. Sometimes people really do forget to credit you and/or ask you for permission. And I’ve had my fair share of those accidents. People in Psychonauts fandom have been using my gifs for various crap but, when approached, they’ve removed it and apologised. And it’s something I really appreciate. (if they actually bother reading this and they recognise themselves: i’m really grateful and thank you for not being an ass)

But you know what I don’t appreciate? People making a call out posts about me, asking about my gifs when they know very well they’re the main reasons why I’m not making those gifs anymore, at the same time failing to address any of the issues I have with them and instead rather explaining to others what happened BUT explaining only the parts that make me look like a villain cause how I even dare be mad about them stealing? How I even dare call them out on it? That is so ridiculous and criminal of me, and it’s so so sooooo bad that they need to call me out. I deserve to be called out by the very same person who’s been stealing my shit.

And their explanation is…well… it’s something.

They were sympathetic and polite? When did this happen? Did I completely missed that part? Please someone fuckin enlighten me with such post/message where they expressed their sympathy and politeness and I’ll apologise right this second.

I told them to “literally fuck off”? Yeah, that did happen, I admit that. Did they bother explaining why I told them to fuck off in the first place? Did they say they were caught stealing from me and had tumblr stuff remove my shit from their blog? Did they get into details of how they demanded the proof of my so very wild and obviously false claims but then when I showed it, they just deleted that “how dare u call me out cause I would never do such thing” post? No, they didn’t and geee, I really wonder why.

Instead, what did they choose to address? Out of all the things I’ve said. Hm? What did they choose? Me telling them to fuck off. Me dropping the F-bomb on them, rudely rejecting their obvious kindness and politeness. Nothing else.

Back to what I was talking about before I got derailed again: no, I’m not mad cause this person used my gifs without crediting me. I mean – I am, but that’s not my main issue with them (and they know it). My main issue is that this is someone who will continuously lie and steal and still deny any of it, even when there’s plenty of proof (and you can always count on me to show up with proof tbh), and then go as far as to publicly ask about my gifs and try to call me out. Like me getting mad that something I’ve put hours of work into, and something I’ve made cause I love the game and I want to share my love and appreciation for it, is now being shared against my will and my knowledge - like me getting mad over something like that is so unreasonable that they need to make an entire post about it while pretending they have absolutely no idea why I’m even mad and why we have issues.

And I have every fucking right to be mad. 3 times is not an accident. 2 times to the same person is not an accident. They know it. But yeah, playing stupid is their defense so it’s not like I expected them to actually address their actions this time either.

And you know what? Just because I swear a lot doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t mean there’s no solid ground for my claims. People on tumblr have always been and always will be stealing shit. Sometimes they will credit you, often they will not, and that’s just how it is, doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit quiet and accept someone’s shitty behaviour. Especially when it’s directed at me.

TLDR: giving credit =/= having permission

but my previous posts leading to this ask were not about that

you knew that already

[spacerhapsody]

5,7,10,20,24,26 and get well soon! Hope this helps with the boredom

Thank you, you’re the best!

5. Favorite book read this year

Oh god, Iread so few books this year (I partly blame this year for distracting me withso many worries – and my doctor not figuring out sooner that I actually neededeye-drops for allergies), but fromthem it’s a tie between Britt-Marie washere by Fredrik Backman and The RavenKing by Maggie Stiefvater.

Britt-Marie was here was definitely my favourite(almost) stand-alone and came at just the right time to remind me what I loveabout football when I’d pretty much given up on ever truly believing in thatagain.

The Raven King was a perfect finale in an age where I’m almost never happy with the ending of anybook, let alone a four-part series. Also, I love all of the characters so, so much and could spend ages talkingabout what Ronan Lynch alone means to me.

7. Favorite movie(s) of the year

Honestly? The Last Jedi, sue me. I enjoyed it somuch more than I’d enjoyed watching a new movie for ages. Luke Skywalker is my new icon and I don’t care what anyone has to say about that. 

(Have I even watched any other movies this year? I vaguelyremember the what felt like 1000 hours of Blade Runner 2049, but other thanthat?) Oh, and Coco. I only watched it because Claudio Pizarro had like oneline in the German dub but was so adorable and enthusiastic about the movie ingeneral that had to give it a go and now I’m crying about sad skeletons, whatis my life.

10. Best new fandom discovery of the year

Everysingle fandom disappointed me, as usual (people really need to calm down sometimes), but the one that’s absolutely worth itfor the show: BLACK SAILS. EVERYONE GO WATCH BLACK SAILS. I mean, in case thatthe fact that I reblogged what felt like the entire in gifsets for about amonth didn’t give it away, I love this show and its characters andrelationships. So. Much.

I’m not even that much a fan of of Treasure Island (I’m beginning to think I also own a really bad translation, though. The copy I have doesn’t even have an ISBN, which??? Is this even an official version? WHO KNOWS!), but now I’d 1000% follow Captain James Flint everywhere. I have no idea who came up with the idea to look at the whole saga from a new very queer angle, but bless them, really.

20. Fandom that you never expected to get into

Andi Mack, probably. I mean, really, it’s a DisneyChannel show for kids and I never liked any of them, what the hell even. But Ihad nothing to watch and Bex Mack was just ohshit, totally my type and now I’ve accidentally adopted a couple of awesomekids and want to protect them at all costs.

Also,Ducktales??? I mean, I watched the original cartoon a lot, but tbh mostlybecause it was always on before/after my favourites and I wasn’t a huge fan ofit (apart from the theme song which is one of the best in cartoon history,let’s be real), but the remake is so good???

24. Your main fandom throughout the year

Goodquestion. I seem to move from obsession to obsession very fast these days. What’sstayed with me from the very beginning was The Raven Cycle, though (I firstread the books in December 2016/January 2017 and somehow ended up listening toall audio books twice over the year),and it turns out I still have so many feelings about everything.

26. Fandom predictions for next year

Hopefullymore of Star Trek Discovery for me, i.e. please don’t make them kill myfavourite character and/or the ship that gives me life. The final Digimon Trimovie will either make me cry or incredibly angry, considering how I currentlyfeel about the latest one. (I’ll probably cry either way, though.) I reallyhope Doctor Who will be good but “late 2018” is so far away that I’m notthinking much about it right now.

As for newfandoms, I have honestly no idea what’s coming. I was so focused on somehowgetting through this year that I haven’t spent a single moment on looking upnew shows/movies yet.

Fandom Year in Review Questions