#Hyper Male Force Buy

[youremyheaven]

The Strictness of Saturn: Giga Chads, Scammers & Spiritual Gurus

Lately, I have been contemplating the energies of Saturn and how it manifests in men and it brought me to the realization that Saturnian men are the type of men that other men idolize and look up to. There are always certain male celebrities that other men fawn over but women dgaf about and they usually tend to be Saturnian as well. Why do men worship Saturnian men? For starters, the world we live is a deeply Saturnian one, with law and order, systems and regulations and structure. The general narrative is that in order to be successful in life, you have to "hustle and grind" and work hard and that you'll be rewarded for it. This is essentially the theme of Saturn. Saturn is also a masculine planet and a malefic. We live in a capitalist society where the working culture is designed with men in mind. Be it the 9 to 5 or the culture of conquest and domination (in business, politics, colonization etc) are all aggressively yang. You do all of it to make more profit to buy/accumulate more stuff, this is a deeply patriarchal worldview because yang energy is one that is fixated on "accumulation". Therefore to thrive in this world, its important to have a strong Saturn and the kind of people who thrive in this set up, aka men, look up to and admire other men who exemplify such Saturnian qualities.

I'm going to start with the most notorious example of this Saturn worship by men

Andrew Tate, Anuradha Sun & Moon

Tate's brand of hyper-toxic masculinity and his "hustler university" is so wildly misogynistic it's insane. Yet it appeals to many men.

In one video, Tate describes how he would deal with a woman who accused him of cheating: “It’s bang out the machete, boom in her face and grip her by the neck. Shut up bitch.” He’s argued that women are a man’s property, shouldn’t drive, and shouldn’t leave the home if they’re in a relationship. He claims only to date 18 and 19 year olds as it’s easier to “imprint” on them, and in a now deleted YouTube video, Tate claimed that “about 40 per cent” of the reason he moved to Romania is that he believed police in Eastern Europe would be less likely to pursue rape allegations.

Tate seems to represent the lifestyle that most men dream of (wealthy) and he presents himself as ultra masculine/alpha like which is every man's dream but the thing is extreme behaviour of any sort comes across like that person is overcompensating for something.

Machoism and machismo are what men use to signal to other men that they're not to be messed with. Its a very primitive display of behaviour that probably goes back to the cave men era where men had to rely on physical strength and brute force to survive. But no man who is actually secure in himself will feel the need to aggressively display his "masculinity" by spewing absolutely vile hateful nonsense against women or other people. Toxic masculinity is rooted in narcissism and self centeredness; these men want to be the best among men (more rich, more powerful, get more girls etc). Its a gross by product of male insecurity because truth be told men grossly overestimate the standards women have for their romantic partners.

they seem to have a scarcity mindset about how no women would want to be with a deadbeat ugly loser (i mean, duh) but believing that every single woman would only date 6’4” dudes with 12 abs and rolexes isn't true either. majority of heterosexual relationships feature a gorgeous girl with a guy who looks like a gnome. many women date absolutely hideous men who are broke just because they have sweet personalities and are nice to be around.

but male insecurity leads to incel behaviour because they believe that the reason women dont go for them is because they're ugly or broke when usually the reason women dont go for them is because theyre an asshole. by blaming women for not sleeping with them or dating them, they get to conveniently shift attention from the fact that they have absolutely nothing to offer and also, women dont owe charity sex to lame, rude, broke, ugly men?

men underestimate just how much personality matters. and by pretending that being the "alpha" will get them women, they're feeding their own masculine egos because women literally just want a guy who is sweet, texts them back regularly, listens to them and isn't a complete asshole. you never hear a woman talk about being into "alphas". its literally just a male fantasy that is completely severed from what real people are like or what real people want. its like how men believe the "Cool Girl" exists, they write female characters to be quirky, nerdy but above all hot and constantly feeding their male ego, they also write male characters to be macho, alpha, dominating other men and women because they want to be like these men.

anyways lol went off on a tangent (me with every post)

Saturn is considered a malefic not because of how it represents "karma" or "discipline" its because Saturn overdoes the strictness, commitment and discipline and "hard work" associated with it. You may work hard but you can't always tell if you're working hard enough or why your hard work isn't translating to results/rewards. That is the energy of Saturn. You overdo things and go beyond the extra mile. This may sound like a good thing because we live in a world that values these traits but it can manifest in many unpleasant ways bc pushing yourself that hard means risking burnout out and it's actually unhealthy to swing into such extremes? You can live a good life without living like a monk or a soldier which is what a lot of hustle/self-improvement coaches advocate for. This is a negative manifestation of Saturn; believing that deprivation, scarcity and harshness are the only way to get things done or that "tough love" is the answer.

Hunter Moore has a Saturn stellium (Mercury & Venus in UBP and Saturn in Anuradha)

He was a predecessor to Andrew Tate who posted intimate photos (some acquired through hacking, and many nonconsensually submitted) of women with their Facebook details on IsAnyoneUp.com (he's a convicted criminal)

He's an early example of a toxic masculine internet influencer who spewed misogyny and was worshiped by many dudebros.

Solar men may be Chads who just want to hang out with other men but they are NOT like these Saturnians. If we're going to think of Sun as the most masculine or "yang" planet, it also means they're masculine to the point of being almost feminine, if that makes sense? The qualities of preferring other male company, valuing male friendships and wishing to keep women at an arm's length (under the guise of "independence" or "non-attachment") are similar to behaviours shown by women described as a "girls girl". Solar people of either gender have a very welcoming, positive energy but they're often virtually sexless. (there are exceptions to everything ofc) but these are not people known for being highly sexually desirable. They're likable and have qualities/traits that make them "wanted" but Solar energy is too self-centered to be sexually appealing. Sun is the centre of our solar system, it's used to being the source of light and does not have the same need to achieve things the way Saturnians do for whom accomplishment has its origins in insecurity and the desire to overcompensate for what they lack. Solar ambition is rooted in their belief that they're the best and deserve to be at the top of the world and refusal to settle for anything less. Those are two very different approaches.

Tom Hardy, Uttaraphalguni Sun, Chitra Moon once said:

“A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it,” Hardy confessed. “I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.”

Tbh this could be a generalization but I feel like I have seldom seen Solar men present themselves as mega alpha hypermasculine figures. They are often perceived that way but they're not personally like that. They're more boyish, more youthful than aggressively "manly". They actually represent a more indulgent "frat boy" type of masculinity than the alpha male ideal presented by many Saturn men.

I'll cite some examples of famous men who are popular among men and not so much among women

Jason Momoa- Pushya Stellium (Sun, Mercury & Venus)

Men love to talk about him like he's a God or something because he represents the kind of masculinity that other men want to embody. 6'5 bulky beefcake build and has this uber-masculine personality.

Like all Saturnian men, he's also known for making crass, tasteless remarks like the time he said at ComicCon:

“But as far as sci-fi and fantasy, I love that genre because there are so many things you can do, like rip someone’s tongue out of their throat and get away with it and rape beautiful women"

In 2011 during an interview he said:

"Yeah, I’m raping Emilia [Clarke]” he said. “I love her, but I’m hurting her and she’s crying. We could have made it longer, but you get the idea. I’m not a rapist. I prefer my women to enjoy sex.”

All of these statements reek of the smug asshole Saturn alpha-chad vibes like he really thought he did something by saying it. You just know that he was saying it for other men to laugh to🤢🤮🤮

Saturnian men lack social grace and manners and are literal troglodytes

Sam Levinson- Pushya Moon

everything he has ever made is SO male gaze-y, be it Euphoria or The Idol. he literally makes torture porn and all his female characters are treated like shit with absolute shitheads written as the male protagonist

The Idol portrays an absolutely vile toxic relationship where the woman is literally treated like scum. He sidelined his female collaborator on The Idol and reworked the show to suit his shitty male gaze. The show Euphoria was also stolen from photographer Petra Collins' aesthetic. Here's what she said:

he's also just known for being an asshole in general. several female cast members on euphoria asked Sam if they could cut down on the nudity (first of all, i think making a highschool drama, casting grown adults and getting away with depicting gratuitous sex scenes is fucked up on its own)

Sydney Sweeney had said:

“There are moments where Cassie was supposed to be shirtless and I would tell Sam, ‘I don't really think that's necessary here,’” she told the Independent. “He was like, ‘OK, we don't need it.’”

Jason Statham- Pushya Sun, UBP Moon

Jason is another example of a man who is idolized by men. He's known for playing menacing tough guys in action movies who are sometimes complete psychopaths and has the brooding toxic violent masculinity that men get off to.

Tom Brady, UBP Moon

He is another male celebrity whom men fawn over.

Chris Evans, Anuradha Rising

Chris is arguably more popular among men than he is among women. He's too plain and boring to appeal to the female gaze truth be told.

DJ Khaled, Anuradha Sun conjunct Mercury (and Saturn in Pushya)

DJ Khaled is in general known for being an obnoxious, egotistical, pompous asshole further confirming the rumours about how self-obsessed, vain, downright delusional and mannerless Saturnian men are.

In 2014, DJ Khaled revealed in an interview that he never performs oral sex on women. The full quote goes like this:

"It's certain things I just don't do. I believe a woman should praise the man, the King." "If you holding it down for your woman, I feel like the woman should praise and the man should praise the Queen," he continued. "But, you know, my way of praising is called, 'How was dinner? You like the house you living in? You like all them clothes you getting? I'm taking care of your family, I'm taking care of my family"

When host Angela Yee asked Khaled if he "goes down" on his longtime girlfriend, he replied, "Nah, never. Nah, I can't do that. Hell nah...I can't do that. I don't do that."

Yee asked Khaled if he would be okay with his girlfriend not giving him oral sex, to which he said, "Nah, it's not okay. You gotta understand I'm the Don, I'm the King."

She told Khaled she doesn't think the double standard is fair. Khaled said, "It's different rules for men. You gotta understand, we the King. There are some things that you guys might not wanna do or wanna do. It gotta get done. I just can't do what you want me to do. I just can't," he added.

This literally sums up how Saturnian men see themselves versus how they see women.

Logan Paul, UBP Sun & Mercury

In 2017 Paul was accused of sexist behaviour with the release of his song "No Handlebars." The track, which samples 2008's "Handlebars" by Flobots, changes the original song's lyrics from "I can ride my bike with no handlebars," to "I can ride your girl with no handlebars." The video shows Paul mounting three women who have positioned themselves to act as a bicycle. This wasn't the first time Paul was accused of sexist behavior, famously releasing a now-deleted Vine with controversial Vine star Sam Pepper in which the pair lassoed women as a way of courting them.

In 2018, in one of the first videos back from his infamous post-Suicide Forest hiatus, Paul can be seen lifting a live koi fish out of water and moving it like a toy boat, as well as tasing dead rats. 

In January 2023, fans were outraged when Paul's former pet pig, Pearl, was found abandoned and injured in a field by the nonprofit The Gentle Barn. In the past, he had put his Pomeranian in seemingly stressful situations for YouTube videos, like introducing him to an actual tiger and putting him in a bucket to zipline him off the roof.

In fact, animal abuse/cruelty seems to be a recurring theme with many Saturnians, both men and women. I think so many Saturnians are notorious for abusing animals because their desire for domination and control manifests most through people who cannot fight back. Obviously being abusive to women and expressing desire to subjugate them is another extension of this Saturnian tendency but it is very telling how a Saturnian can and will dominate, control and abuse absolutely every living being they come across.

many years ago, Kim Kardashian, UBP Moon went viral for holding a cat like a toy and many people said it was abusive behaviour

Kristi Noem, Anuradha Sun, Ketu in Pushya

She recently came under fire for revealing in her memoir how she shot and killed her dog who was difficult to train along with her goat who she hated? Idk how callous you have to be to describe in detail (her exact words and excerpts from the book are available online, I dont feel like repeating it here) how you murdered your pets?? idk how insane you have to be to even publicly admit something like that??

Paris Hilton- Pushya Moon conjunct Rahu

Paris is notorious for how she prefers teacup sized dogs and for anybody who does not know, when animals are specially bred to be an unnaturally small size (bc people think small dogs are "cute") they really struggle with their health a lot bc their bodies are too small to hold all their organs and they struggle with respiratory issues along with being more susceptible to diseases and having weaker immunity. Breeding dogs is absolutely inhumane and cruel. imagine saying you want a cute tiny dog when being that small means that dog lives a much shorter life and a much more arduous one as well?

But Paris isn't just guilty of this but is notorious for neglecting her pets. Los Angeles Animal Services finally interfered after rumours that staff had found a dead puppy in one of Paris’ closets. This was one of Paris’ ways of handling dogs when she got annoyed: lock them away in a different area of the house and then forget about them.

After her documentary came about, many have also accused Paris of being a neglectful mother. Her own sister, Nicky Hilton once said that Paris was too selfish to be a mother and unfortunately 😬it sort of looks like its true? Paris basically left her newborn baby with his nannies and complained about having to "work a lot" when the truth is she's a multimillionaire who can afford to take time off to bond with her newborn?? she treats her babies like props to pose with. if you watch the show you'll know what I mean. her whole attitude and demeanour made it seem like she did not gaf about her kid. She also very callously said she was doing egg retrieval over and over because she wanted a girl and kept getting boys?? idk what happened to the other embryos but its a bit icky to admit that you kind of have a designer baby? On the show, her son was supposed to get circumcised and she says she doesn’t want to be there because it’s too painful for her. How painful is it going to be for your baby?!

On the same show, she also said casually that five of her dogs got ate by coyotes on different occasions? and she cloned two of her deceased dogs??

Shane Dawson, Pushya Sun, Mars in UBP

Shane is a sociopathic asshole in general but in 2015 on a podcast, he, in very graphic detail, explained how he inserted his penis into his cat and then ejaculated onto it as well. His exact words were, "One time I laid my cat down on her back...I moved her little chicken legs spread open or whatever," "I came all over the cat. It was like my first sexual experience...I was also like 19." After this was brought back up in March 2019, he then tweeted saying “I didn’t fuck my cat. I didn’t cum on my cat. I didn’t put my dick anywhere near my cat. I’ve never done anything weird with my cats.” 🤮🤢🤮🤢

Mitt Romney, Anuradha Moon, Jupiter & Ketu

He infamously tied his pet dog in a kennel to the roof of his car for a cross-country trip.

Ted Bundy, Anuradha Sun

Serial killers usually abuse animals as children and there have been studies that link animal cruelty to future psychopathic behaviour. Ted used to abuse the neighbourhood dogs. He shot one neighbour's dog because according to him, the dog was an "evil force" that compelled him to kill. Bundy used to watch as his own father tortured animals.

Angelina Jolie, Pushya Rising

I used to suspect her of being Punarvasu Rising but I came across a 90s interview where she admits to abusing her pets which makes me think she is indeed Pushya Rising lol

"I had a dog and I ended up beating him, and he got sick and... I've hurt so many—I am just not a good animal person... I had a rabbit that died, too... a cage fell on him..."That happened when she was six. But then I had a hamster... I took him in the shower. He died of pneumonia. I had a bunch of little lizards. My friend left them in the sun, and I came back and they were just... my snake, I tried to kill."

Another thing I've noticed with Saturnian men is how they usually scam their way to the top? Deceit, duplicity, being a con artist and a scammer are also common among Saturnian men (Andrew Tate included). They have vv right wing views, especially regarding women and they're also entirely dishonest?

Lance Armstrong, Jupiter in Anuradha in 1h

He was stripped of his tour de france titles after it was revealed that he used performance-enhancing drugs and cheated on his doping tests??

Emily Ratajkowski, UBP Moon & Pushya Stellium (Venus, Mars & Jupiter)

Her bikini wear brand Inamorata has come under fire for not shipping any of their orders?? last year lol. Her brand has also been criticized for selling poor quality bikinis that are tacky and garish

Jennifer Lopez, Pushya Sun, Mercury & Rising

Apart from the fact that J Lo does not sing her own songs and has essentially scammed her way to the top, her numerous business ventures over the years including her Sephora skincare line, Kohl's clothing line etc have all been absolutely horrible, even her perfumes are apparently terrible lol

Anna Delvey has Jupiter & Ketu in Pushya

She is an infamous con artist and fraudster who posed as a wealthy heiress to access upper-class New York social and art scenes from 2013 to 2017. 

Back to the theme of Saturnians being abusive, here are some more examples:

Colleen Ballinger, Anuradha Sun

She was accused of grooming her underage fans and being creepy to them and she responded to that with a ukulele song? Her ex-husband reacted to the weird apology saying "This behaviour was my reality anytime I spoke up & disagreed with her actions & rhetoric during 2009-2016. I was gaslit too. I was made to feel like I was always the problem. Any pain I felt was an inconvenience and was belittled. Every ounce of what you’re feeling, I understand."

As someone who used to watch them in the early 2010s (I feel super old) I know for a fact that Colleen was a major asshole to Josh (her ex husband) and always acted like, since she was more successful than him, she had the "upper hand". She's a toxic narcissist and I hated the way she treated all the people in her life like they're all her glorified assistants or something ugh

David Dobrik, Pushya Sun, Saturn in UBP

If you've watched any of his content, you do know that he uses people around him for "vlog content" and often does really crass, distasteful, offensive, weird, inappropriate shit to his friends for clout? he was rightfully accused of setting up the stage for one of his friends to sexually abuse a minor

Russell Brand, UBP Moon

He has been accused or rape, sexual assault and emotional abuse by 4 women

He's like the spiritual hippie avatar of a toxic alpha chad and he used to be heavily involved in the Ra Ma Yoga place that was essentially a cult

Haile Selassie, Anuradha Moon

This is a more extreme example of men (and women) worshipping a Saturn man, in this case quite literally. Haile Selassie was the emperor of Ethiopia. In the 1930s when he initially became emperor, Rastafarianism emerged in Jamaica and Rastafaris believed that Haile was the second coming of Christ and is perceived as a prophet.

Sri Sathya Sai Baba, Anuradha Stellium (Sun, Mercury, Venus & Saturn)

Sai Baba was a guru who was revered by his followers and literally thought of as God. however, he was embroiled in several scandals in his lifetime including child molestation. Its really hard to dig up info about Indian gurus because they started doing their stuff in the pre-internet era and because its really easy to get away with virtually any kind of abuse under the guise of religion and spirituality in India.

Another guru with major Saturnian energy was Anandamayi Ma who had UBP Rising.

There will be a part 2, where I'll explore more about Saturnian energies and how it manifests in women etc<3 But I hope this post was interesting <3

[enha-roza]

SOOYOUNG SHIPS

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧

Heeseung ( heesoo ) : 

- sibling relationship 

- protective older brother vibes 

- besties for life 

- Sooyoung forces him to play Roblox with her

- cute height difference 

- Sooyoung always embarrasses him

- Heeseung treats Sooyoung like she’s the Maknae

- least active on social media (barely any selfies of them together)

Iconic moments : 

Heeseung taught Sooyoung how to play shooting games (she still sucks)

When Heeseung knocked his cake over Sooyoung made him a new one

Heeseung was like an older brother to Sooyoung during I-Land

Heeseung is very protective of Sooyoung when attending award shows. 

When Heeseung interrupted Sooyoung’s live and scared her. 

When they get really competitive during en-o’clocks 

Jay ( youngjay ) : 

- Yelling at each other in English

- Sugar Daddy Jay

- Lame dad jokes 

- Fashion Besties  

- Sooyoung accidentally deleted Jays number

- underrated 

- Sooyoung's personal chef

- Like going on late night walks together 

Iconic moments : 

he loves staring at her and has been caught a little too many times by engenes

Sooyoung finds him effortlessly funny and always laughs hard at his jokes

Most protective of Sooyoung and glares at male idols who stare at her. 

Have opposite aesthetic and this was pointed out on en-o’clock

When Jay brought Sooyoung over $200 of gifts because she asked

He babies her too much at times but he knows how much she loves it.

Jake ( sooyun ) : 

- Sooyoung is Jake’s personal Photographer 

- English buddyz

- Most hyper duo

- Always Bully each other 

- Justin Bieber fans 

- Bring out the weird side in each other

- Jake loves making Sooyoung laugh 

- Cuddle/Nap Buddies 

Iconic moments : 

Sooyoung making fun of Jake for flirting with fans on live. 

When Jake accidentally tripped Sooyoung during the sports en-o’clock episode.

When they went for a walk on the beach at night and scared their managers who thought they were missing.

Her favorite thing is to get piggyback rides from him because she knows he cant say no. 

He likes to team up with Sunghoon to tease her.

Even if his in the middle of talking his eyes will drift to her when she walks by.

Sunghoon ( soohoon ) : 

- Tom and jerry since iland

- Sooyoung thinks Sunghoon is very handsome 

- Sunghoon Calls Sooyoung a child

- Sunghoon Forces Sooyoung to take photos of him

- Sooyoung calls Sunghoon rat

- Sunghoon teasers Sooyoung 24/7

- never message each other

- Sunghoon always wipes his hands on Sooyoung 

Iconic moments : 

her eyes always seem to be glued on him. 

He likes to team up with Jake to tease her.

They always reassure each other when the other is feeling insecure.

one minute they are best friends and the next they are arguing.

He always reminds her that she can rely on him and to not bottle up her feelings.

Always pretends to fight and throw punches at her just to annoy her.

Roza ( girlz/sooza ) :

- only girls 

- Gayest ship 

- Tease each other

- Go everywhere together 

- Holding hands 24/7 

- Team up to tease the boys

- Met in 2018

- Iconic and most memorable female duo on iland

Iconic moments : 

When Sooyoung made fun of Roza, so Roza chased her. 

When they made fun of Jake’s 10 months ending fairy. 

Any post produce interaction.

When they saw each other for the first time in months on I-Land.

When they laughed at Eunhae for demanding the male trainees' attention during I-Land.

When they realized they were the only girls with 7 male members and both burst out laughing. 

Sunoo ( soonoo ) : 

- iconic pair

- Sassy duo 

- Matching outfits 

- Heavily shipped by engenes 

- Twins 

- Cutest duo

- Team up on other members

- Besties since day 1 on iland 

Iconic moments : 

Immediately became close on I-Land

Sooyoung being Sunoo's biggest supporter

Shared the first place bed on I-Land when Sunoo got first. 

Sooyoung making waffles for Sunoo on live.

Sunoo buying Sooyoung her favorite flowers for her birthday.

Sooyoung stayed up late to help teach Sunoo choreography during I-Land.

Jungwon ( soowon ) : 

- Sibling relationship 

- Bicker all the time 

- always teasing each other 

- Dance Jams together 

- Most Sooyoung photo are thank to Jungwon, as Sooyoung rarely posts.

- both hate physical activity

- Cute boba eyes 

- always do lives together

Iconic moments : 

Them doing their four hour long live.

Both sitting out on more physical Activities.

Sooyoung trying to recreate Jungwon’s killer smile and Jungwon immediately covering her face.

Doing the stink face to each other randomly.

Jungwon carrying Sooyoung and dropping her during a concert.

Sooyoung saying Jungwon is the little brother she always wanted.

Niki ( sooki ) : 

- Sooyoung’s Annoying little brother 

- Endless Bickering 

- Never not arguing 

- Constantly teasing each other

- Pros at embarrassing the other

- occasionally sweet to each other 

- Late night convenience store buddies 

- Niki teaching Sooyoung Japanese

Iconic moments : 

Their en-log where they went to a convenient store at night and got lost.

Blaming each other when they burnt pancakes while cooking.

Sooyoung tackling Niki when he tried spilling a secret of hers.

Jungwon telling them off for bickering during a live and them giggling.

Niki accidentally calling Sooyoung 'Roza' and Sooyoung being offended.

Niki Bumping Sooyoung and spilling her drink on her white shirt.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧

[scarsbloodandleather]

had this in the drafts for a LONGGG ASS TIME:,,,

i just stayed up all night thinking about trans dean!!! (hbo dean) and wrote an approximate 5 page essay of my thoughts!!! (written by a transmasc)

(just on how dean is trans while keeping majority of the plot is the same, but also better than canon..)

Starting at the beginning. born Deanna. Dean always wanted to present more masculine. as a little kid always wanted to play with the boys stuff and dress in daddys clothes not mommys. in the first scene of him holding baby Sammy, it’s very much possible that he could still look pretty much the same considering the popularity of bowlcuts in young kids especially amongst little girls at that time. After Marys death, john never knew how to shop for girls clothing, so Dean just got the most basic looking clothes, already making him slide into that masculine nature. He probably grew out his hair after Mary died for a while (because of johns inability to take care of his kids and give them regular haircuts), until lets say 6?? when Dean figured out how to use scissors on his hair. John is unfazed, like as long as it doesn’t get in the way, and monsters cant grab deans hair(idk, things like that)

Bobby is the first to figure out Dean is trans. obviously. he pays more attention to the kids than john does. Dean just acts like a boy, thinks he’s a boy, though still being technically a girl. He’s complained before to Bobby about wanting to be a boy and hates being seen as/called a “dyke” or a “tomboy” by classmates and teachers. Dean doesnt think anything is wrong with expressing those emotions, still being just a young kid.

Around 8?9? Dean end up just straight up telling john he thinks he’s actually a boy and john couldnt care less tbh, trans men were nearly invisible to society at that time, especially to someone like john who probably grew up under a rock about those things more than anyone. John probably just somehow believed what dean said.. but in a twisted fucked up way… In Johns head Dean is now “a boy with feminine parts, and that is not right, you cant be a man and feminine.” (something like that) So John double time forces hyper masculinity upon dean much too early, as a compensation for anything possibly non-masculine about dean. Trans men are not a concept in johns mind and he doesnt care at all what it could mean other than Dean just being fucked up. This ideology weighs heavily into Dean’s trauma and daddy issues. Especially when john has angry drunk outbursts of ridiculing Dean for the way he is, doing things like deadnaming and misgendering Dean on purpose.

John obviously didnt know or care about anything gender confirming beyond, “I have a son, I buy boy clothes, it’s easier in so many ways having two sons now.” Bobby was the one who fully supported and understood dean and tried to do everything he could to understand deans situation and help him with the transition.

also. no one really knew of john as a hunter at the start. so its easy for john to switch to saying he has two sons, without causing problems.

Puberty for Dean would fall around 1990/91. By that time hormone blockers were already a thing available for kids who had puberty too early, [BUT amongst my research on hormone blockers for trans people I couldn’t find when That became a common practice, and when or where it became easy(ish) to get such treatment without being denied or hatecrimed in some way...] (will have to do more research on some subjects, I still have several books and articles I need to go through) However, I do know testosterone was actually an accessible thing around the 90s for trans men(ofc i still cant find what the age is for being aproved to start hrt unfortunately).

But, I believe, thanks to Bobby’s cunning schemes, he can get what Dean wants/needs in an easy way (ex; lying about Dean’s age or gender[saying he’s intersex or a male with a hormone deficiency], stollen medical prescription forms, etc)

So maybe, most of Deans life he is stealth to most, (even if he doesnt get testosterone until later in life, there are multiple accounts of trans men more than fooling a vast majority of people into thinking theyre cis, even when literally having sex with women believe it or not(ex; Brandon Teena/Boys Don’t Cry film, a popular 50s gospel singer i forgot the name of, much more) Dean is definitely super crafty in canon so he is always finding ways to pass.

Sam knowing Dean is trans makes sense(even if he doesnt have a word for it at first) considering how close they are as siblings. And I think funnily enough he might not even know Dean is “trans” until he attends a gsa class in college(bonus: Sam is he/she/they nonbinary in my hc and they find out that too)

[Side note, because of genes*, it’s very possible for an afab in the winchester family to be up to 5’10(lets say dean is 5’9 though). He wears those 1 1/2 inch heeled boots he does in canon (funny how he’s canonically trans coded sm), with shoe inserts on top of that and, boom. easily 5’11-6’0. yet, he is still more than four inches shorter than his younger brother.(idk i think sam should chill like maybe he can just be 6’2or3 in hbo, bc *john is still 6’1or2, and mary’s family also has tall men*)]

Moving on. According to the timeline dean discovering girls (and boys) happens next at 12/13 (pls help i’m on the aro spec and dk the normal age you get crushes)

but since we already know john is even more strict about Dean’s masculinity than he would be with someone whos amab (notice john canonically is less forcing of masculinity upon sam... i wonder why....) Well in saying that, here comes the intense homophobia. Dean cannot like men. “thats for girls. and Dean said hes actually a man, and I cant let dean be feminine in any way” or some bullshit like that.

Somewhere in the future, before Dean turns 17, john is “worried” about deans possible attraction to men. Sends him on the nun hunt by himself. It’s a big step especially for Dean being afab and john still seeing him as weak and feminine despite believing Dean is actually a dude. (I think this is also the same reason, canonically, sam is so surprised that at 26 dean is going on his own hunts??)

But like- so if the last time Sam saw Dean, Dean was 22 and still an irresponsible youth, still new to the freedom of things that came at 21 and what not(even if dean has been drinking from a young age) and considering johns treatment of Dean, and Deans dependency on johns toxic grasp on him, Sam could still be surprised dean is on his own now[even if dean went on his own at 17, but sam wouldnt know that,, and plus it was just so john could teach him a lesson] So maybe john also let Dean go on his own at 23(before then dean always went with another person) and because he would soon see Dean and his hunting partner of the time, Lee, getting along “too well” he would just fr gaslight dean to just go on his own from then... (something like that)

Focusing back on Dean’s transition, I actually have no idea when dean would get top surgery bc of the busyness of a hunters life. but im thinking it’s a top priority of Deans for a while because of the discomfort of not being able to wear a binder when hunting, only a sports bra, which depending, could still be very uncomfortable for him dysphoria wise. (i know the struggle) Again, Bobby probably one to help with the whole process of payment, recovery and scheduling a good time.

When dean finally gets his top surgery it is when he is with Cassie. (theyre literally both t4t bi4bi) Dean by luck finds a nice girl at a queer bar and settles down with her and decides its time to chop the flesh bags and Cassie helps him in his recovery. (of course i think dean still goes hunting in secret and messed up the healing process and ends up with sorta messed up scars)

Now lisa well... (actually I think canon dean dated her before cassie, but she was only introduced later so-) okay Lisa lowkey gives me transphobe vibes-.. I wonder if it could be that even after they hook up she still isnt even aware that dean is trans, she still finds out someway though. (rip ben actually being from a random biker in this au, bc canon he is 100% deans kid) When Dean sees her again, they run into eachother and catch up despite lisa still being transphobic. She’s fine with just talking but keeping distance. Ben, already liking dean like a father figure, doesn’t understand why lisa dislikes him, even after she explains how Dean is trans, like most kids at that age it’s simple, if he looks and acts like a boy, he is a boy. Kids dont fucking know a thing about body parts or genders... Ben with that ideology, ultimately opens Lisas eyes on trans people and is now okay with Dean.

The only next big plot point I can think of?? is..

Cas raising Dean from hell. While recreating Dean, he sees Deans entire being through Deans perspective. and how Dean is meant to be rather than how he was born. In my mind it makes sense to cas as angel, by seeing Dean’s soul, his memories, everything that makes Dean, well.. Dean, that he is indeed a man. Also because angels have no construct of gender(besides how humans are born) and being genderless in the first place, Cas doesnt associate body parts with genders. He just knows dean is a man and is like “well if hes a human man he must have these parts i guess?”, Deans views of himself blurring his previous form, everything on how dean looks is slightly masculinized. Cas doesnt even think about how come these scars on deans chest are significant and important to him, at any point in the future he could still easily remove them, but he knew they meant something to dean in his mortal development and despite being a “flaw” they are the two scars he didnt wipe clean off of Dean’s body. Everything else, its like- as if Dean was born a man, or at least, however Dean wanted to look. (and still, cas removes all of deans tattoos. dean is pissed asf at cas. even if they had significance to dean, cas still removed them as it was not a part of his body and soul like the top scars, just a foreign blemish made of ink)

That is all i should probably fit in a post now, lmao

[rametarin]

pre-internet cancel culture

I saw this video, but I feel there's an important distinction to make here. Cancel culture is not, "I'm going to tell people to hate you and you'll be hated."

No, it's more insidious than that. Because these people will first try to pass themselves off as "just" being "anti-racist," or "anti-sexist." At the surface level, every single generation, they will be in a position to impress that on younger people, instruct them to behave that way and impress that on people more inexperienced and younger than them, and that will become the norm and status quo.

They institute histrionic, hyper flaggelant sentiments cherry pick and choose which history they teach in the absence of other facts of history, strong arm young people through these events and then lead them through to their preferred interpretations on how to feel about it, and then "form their own conclusions" based on this misleading, very emotionally charged, very peer pressure, very hyper vigilant atmosphere. And young people experiencing this by their peers, led to believe that unlike the generations older than them, they're "aware" of the prejudices and bigotry, they're Woke and Aware, they're going to Change the World(tm) by not "making the mistakes of their forefathers."

They start seeing the generation older than them as either complacent with a defacto and default evil, white supremacist and male chauvinistic culture, as they're taught, even in very progressive places they see as ultimately just "ruled by milquetoast ineffectual white men," and rebelling against this caricature that does not exist.

And the most horrifying aspect of all is the way in which they use sex and the way the sexes relate to force this line of conversation as the norm. They hypercharge women and girls with this. The romantic interpretations delivered via Feminism then gives the female peers a bar and standard of logic by which to analyze things according to the fiction of privilege theory being the proper way to determine if things are bigoted or not, in one way or another, and then it's a race to the bottom of the simping boys trying to fit this mold of overcompensation in order to not register as an unacceptable unsuitable mate.

Cancel Culture isn't "you better do what I say or I'll mean tweet you and you'll go out of business." Cancel Culture is the indoctrination and emotional manipulation and deliberately slanted way of educating young people about history, cultures, demographics and etc. and using them as shock troops in a culture war.

Businesses have feared this forever. Before it was secular sociological shit, it was fear of flash in the pan preachers that showed up, rode the waves of popular faith and started new religious movements, that told their flock what to do and guided their behavior on what to think, why, and more importantly, what to hate and not buy. Whether it's rationalizing their distaste for the supernatural by a culture war on magic in comic books, or trying to browbeat how art and literature are made in order to be ALLOWED to be marketed and sold, as Sweet Baby Inc. and similar have been doing, trying to gatekeep and dictate culture.

What the woman up there is talking about is not mean tweets and flash in the pan hate protests with a few astro turfed handlers, it's conspirator tenured college professors, their network of political activists that converge and discuss on how to be subversive to business and government institutes and finance, printing off a million information cascades academic articles on how X-thing is bad that just so happens to fit the profile of what a business is selling, and then threatening that business with the wrath of the bleating, overcompensating mob, now trying very hard not to have it be made a sign of bigotry to buy their product.

And as an example, I point to the Harry Potter games. They wanted Rowling to champion their cause, because female famous person, feminist, clearly she had to carry water for their group and organization. But when she said, 'no,' to the idea that the only thing that makes a woman is the idea of a woman, no biology required, suddenly that was interpreted as hatred of transwomen and a threat to their movement. She became persona nongrata, somehow a right-wing bigot and advocate for genocide.

So then the astro turfers started going out with the agritprop social media, water cooler talking about how Rowling was a massive antisemite, how her franchise' game leaned "heavily" into the antisemitic messaging (Jews use a ram horn, goblins use a horn, there was a massive hate crime against Jews on the date of the same for goblins!) and this that and the other thing.

Gullible, emotionally charged fangirls fell overthemselves to overcompensate and make clear, "there's no tolerance for NAZIS!" and that the useful idiots would draw lines in the sand and turn on whomever didn't toe the line to not be a "bad person." You had better not have consumed that media, or else you're a NAZI-ADJACENT person!!!!oneoneone. And they'd cultivated that population to normalize hate-gossip about Bad People, to allow the more belligerent of them to treat them like bigots that threatened others with violence for their race or religion, and if they weren't going to participate in that bullying, at least turn a blind eye to it and go neutral to allow it to happen.

THAT is cancel culture. Not some hash tag.

[myprofessormadememakethis]

The Lessons of the Past

Native American dehumanization begins in the earliest forms of American literature. For example, Mary Rowaldson’s A Narrative of the Captivity and Restoration of Mrs. Mary Rowaldson contains a slew of anti-indigenous dog whistles that ascribe animalistic traits to her captors, even including a scene where she describes the celebration the men host after defeating another company in a bid for the decolonization of their land. This continuous gasp and gawk at her captors as if they are animals is reminiscent of the current situation in Israel, where colonial governments across the world lick their small wounds in a deadly bid for complete and utter eradication of the Palestinian population. The citizens of Western powers buy into the fake outrage, blinded by the fact that their own governments wrought this devastation in their lives. Would Hamas have attacked Israeli civilians if the Israeli government had not been practicing ethnic cleansing for decades, if Israeli forces left the sinless women, children, elderly, and disabled people in the Gaza Strip alone? The truth is Hamas would not exist if imperialism was not as violent as many Western governments would like their citizens to believe, and this cognitive dissonance between the plight of the colonizer and the plight of the colonized only aids in justifying the eradication of indigenous communities. The Israeli government continues to frame the conflict in Palestine as a war where both sides are equal in strength, but only one side has dropped 6,000 bombs on the Gaza Strip over the course of six days, and it is not the group Israeli officials deemed terrorists. Furthermore, the government has lied about the atrocities Hamas has committed to feed the villain narrative they have carefully crafted against all Palestinians. Rowaldson mirrors this rhetoric in her own story, framing the compassion her Native American captors afford her as a mercy from God, without realizing European settlers who captured Native women did not offer the same warmth Rowaldson received over the course of her captivity from the Natives around her. Rowaldson was offered food, allowed to see her children, and practically formed a sense of community with the people who abducted her, and her work afforded her a level of independence she could never possess in Puritan society. However, she strips all of this kindness, every bit of humanity she witnessed in her captors from them in her non-human descriptions of their traditions or actions they had to take to survive under colonial occupation. The false narrative of the “savage Indian” balks violently against the truth and wins. However, the current events in Palestine and American history show the function of this stereotype is more than surface level.

Representations of Native Men in early American media portrayed them as violent and primitive to justify the subjugation of Native Americans. This rhetoric necessitated the protection of white America from the “red man threat,” which extended into Native Women stereotypes where they became hyper-sexualized as docile creatures under the constant tyranny of their male counterparts. French Jesuits in 1610 observed Native communities and insisted that the men within them possessed such a powerfully brutish nature that the striking and beating of women was normal in their day-to-day lives. Thus, Native women took on the image of a servile, dirty, and sexually commodified being, an identity that enraptured the S-slur, which became a stand-in for the term Native woman in early American society. In this role, she is raped, abused, and murdered.

Zitkala-Ša's A Warrior’s Daughter rejects this violent word. It tells the story of a young woman who must rescue her man after another tribe captures him during his time on the battlefield. The young woman utilizes her wit to sneak across enemy lines to rescue the love of her life. Through this story, Zitkala-Ša shows the long history of women warriors in indigenous communities, and the power and respect Native women possess in their own individual cultures, rejecting the submissive label that has justified their subjugation for centuries. In no way was colonization beneficial. In fact, it resulted in worse outcomes for Native women. Stories like A Warrior’s Daughter complicate and, in most cases, change the colonial image that allows for genocide to occur. Equipped with a new perspective, Rowaldson’s depictions of the kindness from the Natives transform from God's graces and become drops of truth in a sea of propaganda. As much as A Warrior’s Daughter rebels against white supremacy, it also details a long and thorny history of colonialist violence, which shows the importance of listening to indigenous voices and understanding the language that leads to genocide. This knowledge is valuable, especially in today’s climate, where the world witnesses a reiteration of the horrific events of the past.

-Ysabella Porche

[mysticdragon3md3]

How long does this sale go? Does it end the day after Memorial Day? I've got to psych myself up to spend on the amount of figures i have my eye on.

I narrowed down what i might realistically buy, and though each figure is very cheap right now, the 4 altogether totals to more than $110. 😵‍💫

If i narrow down to just 3 figures, i can stay around $80. But still...$80 for 2 Swacchao for 2 characters i already have full Nendoroids for? Plus a static figure for a series i don't even watch?

But...I've had my eye on Pop Up Parade Towa for a loooong time. One of my oldest, favorite archetypes is "female characters with masculine gender presentation"---"chicks in pants" according to The Word Wenches (https://wordwenches.typepad.com/word_wenches/2015/04/chicks-in-pants-1.html)---but particularly in the sleek, semi formal, gentlemanly way. I loved this trope since back when I was a bookworm for sword&sorcery novels, where women disguised as men or just couldn't relate to hyperfem female definitions, while also commenting on patriarchy and providing little me with some relatable feminism. As a kid struggling with understanding my gender---not being trans, but simultaneously, not identifying with all the forced female definitions, while also SOME male definitions really speaking to me, while strongly disliking the idea of being male, until ultimately figuring out those "definitions" didn't need to be prescribed to only 1 gender, and being comfortable being cis but with my OWN definition of MY gender expression---that trope was MY JAM. So naturally, when I got into anime, I got really into Ranma 1/2. And when I got really into manga, I found that Rumiko Takahashi often managed to sneak in this trope, or at least address gender in ways I could relate to, more than the prescriptive roles of Shojo manga and Shonen manga. So when I see a Rumiko Takahashi designed character like Towa, it kind of doesn't matter that I don't watch Yashahime. Her character design alone just SPEAKS TO ME. I've been wanting to buy her Pop Up Parade for A WHILE. ...But I need to stop spending so much on figure collecting, and I made a rule for myself to stop buying figures of characters I don't know. If I don't LOVE a character, if I'm not hyper giddy for a series, then I really shouldn't be spending money on their figurines. I really shouldn't... But she's only $26 right now... x_x;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?????????????????

As for the Date-gumi Swacchao, they kind of fulfill my criteria for frugal figure collecting: They are characters I know and love. I am a Sengoku Basara fan, who went from big fan of Sanada Yukimura, to big fan of Date Masamune, so I love all of Touken Ranbu's Date-gumi swords. But should I really be buying duplicates of characters I already have full Nendoroids of??? The answer should be "No; I am trying to save money". But y'know what Swacchao are good at? Hanging out on work desks. You know what I could do with duplicate character figures? Actually have them displayed on my desk, without worried that my one and only Nendoroid of Mitsutada and Tsurumaru might get damaged by all the sharp and hot tools I have on my desk. That's what I got my Swacchao Hinata Shoyo for. And it's so nice to have him on my desk, where I'm able to look at him at the moment I need cheering, instead of turning fully around to my display case, across my room, with my nearsightedness, to see my display case of Date-gumi full Nendoroids. BUT I'M REALLY SUPPOSED TO BE SAVING MONEY RIGHT NOW. The last thing I should be getting are duplicates! ...But they're so much cheaper right now... x_x;;;;;;;;;;;;;????????????????

I even skipped Nendoroid Donatello, and TMNT used to be my life. He wasn't part of this sale. His preorder closed. But it was open for the longest time, and I still didn't feel motivated to shell out $47 for him. And that's already cheaper than most Nendoroids right now. I had this rule about "even if you're not into a series anymore, if it used to be a big part of your life, don't pass up buying its merch; you won't regret it in the end". Because once, I passed up the opportunity to buy 2 Devil Hunter Yoko artbooks, just to save money. I thought, "I'm not obsessed with this series anymore". But now, even now, I still wish I had bought those artbooks. And when Nendoroid Mega Man was first announced, I was again thinking, "I'm not obsessed with this series anymore; I shouldn't buy the Nendoroid". But I did anyway, and when he was delivered, I was overwhelmed with how reflexively happy Nendoroid Mega Man made me. So I really should have bought Nendoroid Donatello. ...But I've just felt so tapped out with figure collecting---or rather, SPENDING, lately. I couldn't get myself to place the order. And honestly...I still kind of feel less than excited about Nendoroid Donatello. I don't really regret not buying him. ...Even though after his release, I'll probably reconsider buying him from GSC's Available Now section. ^.^;;;;;;

But my point is: With Donatello, I broke my rule about buying nostalgic merch, and I was fine. Won't I be fine if I save my money from my picks from these Memorial Day sale figures?

...Even if I've had my eye on these figures for a while and they're so cheap right now...! x_x???????????????????????????

(Oh, and the Horimiya figure: I don't watch that show, but his hair, painted yellow, would be perfect for my custom Nendoroid Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. But I'm a crafter. I really should just sculpt Dimitri's hair myself. ...But by the gods...a Nendoroid that used to be over $50 is now only $36? oUo?!?! And he has so many accessories too! Alternate bodies, alternate hair, a blushy face, really versatile outfit I could use for lots of other characters and photoshoots...)

Deciding to spend money is hard. x_x

Honestly, if I want to spend $80-$100 on self-indulgent stuff, I really should be buying more Copic ink, so I can finish my current comic with some consistency. At least that would be a utilitarian purchase that I really need right now.

But maybe I could at least buy Towa?

[eatmangoesnekkid]

So much of Abrahamic Religion influenced our internal programs and weakened our female nature. You must be ready to lean all the way into the super-sensuous "forbidden knowledge" because it is the disconnection from the "the forbidden," the hidden, and the uncommon that keep us trapped in cycles that not only drain the life force of the female body, but also the male body and the earth body, as witnessed today. In other words, we are playing a game of energy and because we are functioning in a fraction of our total energy power that is available to us, we are living in scarcity states. As womb holders, we are birthing people who are also energetically-underdeveloped and thereby living in scarcity states. In order to align with the earth, we must be willing to live with more energy--abundance consciousness.

We are trained to live mostly in our heads in ranges of masculine energy. We are conditioned to distrust the feminine, to distrust our female bodies and their intuitive knowing. But the earth is begging for the feminine to return. It yearns for us to inhabit more true feminine energy, to think, perceive, and be differently, to truly live in our bodies, to relax our pussies and project more love energy from our breasts and eyes, to live more hydrated. The earth needs us to be different, breathe differently in real ways....with big belly inhales.

The first line of order... is us. It is you. But I also know how it can feel so unconsciously frightening to your psyche when you start to take on these seemingly larger systems and naturally begin to evade all the sickness that comes from no longer buying and believing in the lies. But to live fully alive-- growing and deepening your energy, both rooted and soaring at the same time--is so foreign, frightening, uncomfortable, and rare yet it is what is needed now more than ever.

In order for us all to continue to be permitted to inhabit the earth, we have to develop ourselves (our actual cells) and become something more. Because these shrunken pick-me versions of ourselves who acquiesce and defer to male Gods and consent to a traumatized world born of the white male imagination are no longer sustainable.

To the herbalists, prophetic, magical, mystical, wealthy, nature-connected, highly sensuous, highly creative/sexual (which is not necessarily hyper-sexual, or multidimensionally creative women: Your psychic remembers the history of the female lineage that lives in your body even when you consciously don't. It remember how the Church was responsible for putting laws in place that punished and annihilated you when you accessed your full power so it comes up with every excuse and looks for every distraction for you not to. In other words, your courage is required. But if you want to play this game and start winning at life, if you desire to be a wealthy resource who CAN truly prophecy and support your loved ones and community/village, you have to access your full power, freedom, and authority. Reclaiming and rehabilitating your sensuality and sexuality, your energy body, are key. -India Ame'ye

The (Abrahamic narrative) Christianity/Islam/Judaism) centered around a Hebrew patriarch "Abraham" controls most things in the Western world— labeling every other spiritual practice as "bad,""evil," or"wrong" and keeping female bodied people in conflict with our natural sensuality and sexuality. These narratives conditioned our minds from birth on what was "right/good" or "wrong/bad." Having other ways to access God/divine/truth, whether through art, nature, Congolese dance, Mediterrean belly dance, yoga, sacred bathing, fasting, heart-connected sex, meditation, transcendental playfulness, African traditional practices, etc. has always been true since the beginning of time. We are just hearing more about them now because people get to publicly talk and share far more and not risk being stoned, hung, or stabbed and never heard from again. Back in the day, only Abrahamic religions were given a voice, an asé. -India Ame'ye, Author

[i-arch-my-backula]

Hey broske! I was wondering if i could get a fanfic of Eddie Munson and or the lost boys with a male S/O that is depressed and sleeps way too much to be healthy like no matter night or day and it causes him to wake up at ungodly hours,i have a big problem with this unfortunately

Thank you! (Also i really like your work and writing style :) )

—👻 anon

Another named anon let's fucking go dude. I had a horrible sleep schedule for the longest time because of my depression. I've sorta fixed it but I do have insomnia so it still isn't the best but what can you do ya know? Anyway I've got you covered my dude. I hope you fix this problem soon and that you have a very healthy sleep pattern.

Eddie Munson and the Lost boys with a s/o who has a bad sleep schedule

Warnings: Mentions of murder

Eddie Munson

Eddie is really worried about you. You do get up in time to be on time for work and he does get to see you but you go to bed at like 6 pm and wake up at 4 am.

He'll do his damn best to keep you awake at least until the sun goes down. He'll pay for coffee for you to drink, blare music, give you caffeine pills, whatever he has to do.

Eddie doesn't have the money to get you to a proper doctor so he'll have to do the research on his own. He really wants to help you but it's pretty damn hard when you don't have much money to spend.

Will take you on walks and try everything he can to keep you awake, like making you hold ice or giving you a rubber band to snap on your wrist when you get tired.

Will get his ass over to your house and force you awake if he has to. Or if you live together set up a bunch of alarm clocks.

The Lost boys

The boys are vampires so their sleep schedule is already kinda off. But when you go to bed at like 12 pm and wake up at 3 am they're worried.

Being in a cave doesn't really help at all. The boys will wake you up when they wake up and try to keep you awake with going on the board walk and going on hunts.

Marko and Paul will Probably steal some things to help keep you awake. Or give you money to go buy some things to keep you awake

They feel very guilty when you wake up super late. They love you and hate that they can't help much.

I feel like if they're desprate they'll have you hang out with Laddie to keep you awake. In the movie he doesn't seem too hyper but he's like 5, you know he's gonna be hyper.

[perpetual-stories]

101 Romance Tropes for Writers: Part One

Hello, hello! Happy Wednesday or Thursday! Where ever you’re reading this from — happy day to you!

I hope you’re having a wonderful time at life and enjoying every minute of it! Find a reason to smile! There is always a reason!

As by the title, I will be diving this into parts, since I don’t want to create a long ass post. So I think I’ll do 25 on each post? I’ll see as I work on it, aha!

Let’s begin!

What Is A Romance Trope?

speaks to a ‘type’ of story that readers expect

It is a genre-specific device that is the catalyst for the central plot or conflict in a story

It can also be a defined type of character found in a story

A trope doesn’t take the place of well-plotted story or provide an excuse for flat, one-dimensional characters

The List:

Alien Hero: A human heroine falls in love with, or is abducted by, an alien life force hero from another planet.

Alpha Hero: The heroine must contend with a strong-willed, domineering, hyper-masculine, successful and wealthy hero.

Amnesia: The hero or heroine suffers temporary or permanent memory loss and is forced to start over and reclaim their identity.

Armed Forces: A sexy, dynamic hero in uniform draws the heroine into a relationship, but a career in the army, navy etc., creates conflict. The heroine may also be in the military and is attracted to someone in her unit or during a mission.

Artificial Intelligence: The heroine falls for a sentient robot or even a disembodied form of A.I., such as a holographic character.

Asian Hero: The hero is either fully Asian or of Asian ancestry (Chinese, Indian, Korean etc.) and now living in UK, Europe, America or Australia.

Athlete Hero: Sports themes are popular in North American romances, especially for teen and young adult audiences. Typically, the hero is a baseball, football, or hockey player, but the trope can extend to tennis stars, racing car drivers, etc.

Au-Pair Abroad: The young heroine takes a job as a nanny or child-minder in a new city or exotic location. She falls for an older, local hero or even the handsome, single employer.

Bachelor Auction: The heroine ‘buys’ a handsome, wealthy hero for a dinner or once-off date at a charity function.

Beauty And The Beast: The hero, often disfigured or injured in an accident, must overcome his physical and emotional scars to find love with the heroine.

Best Friend’s Brother: The heroine sees her friend’s brother in a new romantic light and must hide her feelings from him and her friend.

Beta Hero: The good guy, the guy next door – this type of hero is usually more even-tempered and more realistic than the typical alpha hero. He doesn’t want to run the world; he just wants to be king of his own castle.

Betrayal: The heroine is betrayed by the hero – the betrayal may be genuine or the result of a misunderstanding. She often vows revenge.

Bisexual Hero Or Heroine: This character is openly and equally attracted to both men and women. As a protagonist, they live by their own rules or sexual code, which makes them irresistibly unpredictable.

Blackmail: The heroine is blackmailed by the hero into marrying him, usually as a form of revenge or payback for a previous slight or insult, real or imagined.

Blind Date: The heroine agrees to a blind date. The date usually delivers a surprise or a twist – for example, her dinner companion turns out to her boss, best male friend, or an ex-boyfriend.

Boss & Secretary: Although a bit dated as a trope, the boss falling for his personal assistant or secretary is still popular.

Bully: A controversial trend and popular in teen or young/new adult romances, the heroine falls for the boy who used to bully her. She must seek revenge or confront him on his past sadism. The hero must usually atone for past behaviour.

Christmas Romances: Almost a genre in itself, Christmas provides a theme and background for the love story, which features European or North American settings.

Circle Of Friends: This trope features three or more protagonists all searching for love, in parallel to pursuing their careers and passions.

Coming Of Age: The first discovery of love as teenager can be a powerful theme to explore in a romance novel or story. The plot can cover a sweet, innocent crush or a dark, intense attraction to the wrong boy.

Coming Out: A gay hero, heroine, or transgender lead character decides to come out about their true sexuality or identity – their coming out is a catalyst for a new love interest. The lead character must overcome self-doubt, confusion, prejudice, and misunderstandings while dealing with a new relationship.

Country Inn: A career-driven city girl inherits or buys a charming little inn, bed-and-breakfast, or guest house in the calm, bucolic splendour of the countryside.

Cowboys: Whether a rancher or a Texas Ranger, the hero embodies the characteristics and moral codes of the American frontier: courage, integrity, and usually a bit of chauvinism.

Cursed! In a fantasy or folklore-inspired romance, the heroine may have fallen under a curse, spell, or wicked charm that only the hero can break or reverse.

Here you have it friends! 25 out of 101! I hope you find these useful! I’ll post the rest of the romantic tropes so please keep your eyes peeled for the next 26!

If you find these helpful please follow, reblog, and comment! Thank you all so much! I appreciate everyone!

[short-wooloo]

Y'know what? Not enough, I want to do more to pick apart this person's asinine argument

First off, the way they phrase it makes it seem like they think this is just an idea or suggestion I have, it's not, disney is making this movie, Daisy and a director have signed on (and the probable release date is Dec 19 2025)

Besides, the fact that they are making this movie alone indicates that they do think it will make money and that people do like Rey, off the top of my head I know that myself, @gffa , @tremendouskoalachild , and @flilisskywalker like Rey

(And for a character that "people don't like", Rey merchandise sure seems to sell and fetch prices second hand, just check listing for the vintage collection Rise of Skywalker Rey, $50 if you're lucky and willing to settlefor a loose figure)

But there's a more important demographic who likes Rey

Kids like Rey

A generation of kids will have grown up with the sequels and Rey as the hero of their Star Wars, much as people of my generation grew up with Obi-Wan and Anakin as the heroes of our SW, you just don't hear from these kids because well, they're kids, they're not active on the internet, just like my generation wasn't 15 years ago

Just to give an example, there's a little boy my mom babysits, and he loves Rey, she's his favorite character, he will no doubt be excited to see this new movie because the hero of his SW will be back

This movie's point may not be to make money, obviously they want that, but it may have a greater purpose

This movie will be the first thing set after the Skywalker Saga, the first in a new era of SW, its purpose is more than likely to be a kick off for that era, a place for new things to spring from

"All powerful without having to earn it"

I see we're rehashing that "Rey is a mary sue" nonsense, well I didn't stand for that crap in the 2016 during the thick of it and I won't hear it now

You don't "earn" power in the Force

No one earns power in the Force, you either have it or you don't, and how much you have is random

(this person is bashing Rey for not "earning" her power, yet isn't doing the same for any male characters, ironic considering the director for this film is known for making films highlighting the inequality women face)

An actress returning to play a character they've played before is not typecasting btw, it's just returning to s role

How would this kill the franchise?

No seriously how? How would one movie doing poorly (even though as I said prior, this movie's purpose may be more for setting up the new era) kill the franchise when numerous other movies/shows/projects are in works? A franchise that has been doing well financially might I add (also Solo did poorly, that didn't kill the franchise)

And that gets into the numbers ROS and TFA brought in

You used some very deceptive wording here, you said ROS made half the money TFA made, this is true, but you neglected to mention what the actual numbers are, TFA's total box office gross (btw TFA is 5th highest grossing film of all time) was 2.07 billion

I don't think I need to explain that half of 2 billion, is still a billion, ROS made 1.07 billion, that's still a lot of money, but nice job buying into the hyper capitalism mindset that there needs to be constant unsustainable growth forever

(Btw the sequels in total made about 4.48 billion)

My thoughts on the announcement of a new SW film about Rey and rebuilding the Jedi Order

First off...

VINDICAAAAAATIOOOOOOON!

Turns out all of those click bait YouTube videos about how the sequels would be erased/rebooted/retconned out were lying out of their asses and just saying what people wanted to hear because youtube's algorithm favors negativity

In any case, here are the things I want to see in the movie

Bisexual Rey, let her being the successor to Obi-Wan's Bi energy

Rose, see above

Millennium Falcon in Jedi colors, I want to see the old girl refurbished and given a new coat of paint with the Jedi emblem, and Chewbacca is in this movie as the Jedi chauffeur

speaking of returning characters, R2 and 3P0, gotta have em, no arguments allowed,

Ghost Luke, get Mark Hamill back as Luke in the spirit guide role

(also have something where Luke acknowledges/approves of Rey taking on the Skywalker name so people will shut up about that)

Acknowledge Finn as a Jedi in some way, I know John Boyega is rightfully done with the franchise over how he was treated, so how about instead we get so mention of him in the film, a passing mention of "Master Finn" or "Finn is off on a mission with his Padawan"

X-Wings, Jedi edition, I love Jedi starfighters, so I want Rey and the new Jedi to have their own model of X-Wing, built and designed for Jedi pilots

Return of that classic Jedi fashion style, specifically in Rey's case I want her to have robes like Ep I Obi-Wan

Jedi babies, show me the Younglings

Jedi Momma Rey

given that the official description for the movie involves Rey defending the rebuilding Jedi Order, I expect to see Rey protecting the younglings

similar note, but there's something I hope for the plot, Rey is obviously the main character, but maybe there's a pack of Jedi Padawans as the supporting characters

and for my most left-field, "unlikely to happen but god it would be amazing" thing I want to happen...

Old Master Reva

have Reva return, now in her 80s, as a Jedi Master and advisor to Rey, maybe she can be the Creche-Master watching over the younglings

[zendayastylefiles]

Randomizo but I know everyone jokes that Savagexfenty made victoria secrets go downhill, but was it really the lack of representation and inclusion of different sizes that made victoria secrets lose the prestige it once had? Obviously Rihanna was a visionary and included a huge market of people with different measurements who needed to feel taken care of, but I wonder if that's really what happened.

It was a lot of things, the first being the failure to adapt with the times. The Beauty standards completely changed and they were still focused on trying to sell the “PERFECT” blonde hair blue eyed waif in an era where all of the girls are tanning to look exotic and getting BBL’s.

Also, the male executives were not even considering the ideas of their female executives, they just wanted to cater to appealing to the male gaze instead considering the needs of the women who were the actual customers. In the first iteration of their company, they sold actual Ready To Wear in addition to underwear, you could buy actual clothes from their catalogs, Leather trench coats, blouses, dresses, pants, sweaters, shoes, etc. their catalogs used to be on the same equivalent as Macy’s and JC Penney.

That all went out the window once they ushered the “Bombshell Angel” era, they hyper fixated on the underwear, which is fine because they are a lingerie company but they needed to add things to cater to their female audience. The female executives were suggesting them so maternity wear and shape wear which would have been a huge financial gain for them but they said NO. Now you have SPANX, Aerie, Savage X FENTY, and Skims coming in and making a whole entire fortune off of the ideas that their female executives suggested for them to hop on very early. MISSED OPPORTUNITY.

The second was the decline of the Supermodel era, they relied so heavily on their “Bombshells” for their marketing but this current crop of models don’t have the same look, pizzazz, or charisma as the models of the 80’s and the 90’s. Once Adriana Lima retired from them it was a WRAP, she was the last of their original Bombshells to leave. Not to mention the quality of their annual runway show declined every year after 2011, no one was interested in the show after a certain point.

The third they underestimated the digital age, they didn’t make their online presence as visible online as it was in physical stores.

The real collateral damage came from all of the legal issues and allegations surrounding their former CEO Les Wexner and his close ties to Epstein, that is just too much controversy to overlook. I don’t even think they can recover from that.

Savage X FENTY came at the right time, and it is highly successful because it serves a community that is often underserved and overlooked in the lingerie dept. Consumers gravitate towards inclusivity that is genuine rather than forced.

[cinnamonest]

THAT FIC WITH RAZOR MISTAKING DARLING FOR A BOY WAS SO GOOD 😭😭 PLEASE MAKE me MORE TOMBOY FICS. It’s super hard to find tomboy fics that are actually good I really like it when reader/darling is strong and can fight back

Ok heads up: from now on I'm gonna put anything involving crossdressing or cross-gender stuff under the forced fem tag (#tw: ff) in addition to the misogyny tag bc I know that can be a sensitive topic for some people and I don't wanna accidentally trigger anyone (・m・ )

I love tomboy darling so much tbh and I know it's very controversial (which is why I tag it) but... I am also a fan of intentionally deceptive crossdressing. Like darling intentionally trying to make people think she's a boy (or the other way around, that's nice too). But just normal tomboyishness is good too tbh. I like hyper-feminine fem darling too, both are very interesting dynamics.

I'll probably get more in detail about individual boys eventually (esp bc I really like this concept with a Zhongli/Childe/Diluc type so I'll make posts for them eventually) BUT a general summary:

I feel like the worst for tomboy/crossdress darling is probably Diluc or Zhongli or Xingqiu bc they're gonna have to Change That(tm). Help you fill the waifu fantasy in their head. Especially Xingqiu/Diluc like... You know you have to fit the rich people trophy wife norms so they can show you off! How can they show you off to their rich visitors and not feel emasculated if you're not hyper submissive?? You might not like it now, maybe fight it even, but eventually you'll see they were right all along and you're a lot happier molded into a waif :) also bc if darling is strong and can protect herself it threatens their poor fragile masculinity which is hilarious tbh. Nooooo you can't protect yourself and kill those monsters that's his job :( You can't have a job that pays a lot how is he supposed to fill his savior complex and impress you with buying you nice things?? How are you gonna respect him as an authority when you have a position of power?? Hence it significantly speeds up how quickly you get... Removed from you original environment.

Also Childe and Kaeya and Scara would be pretty terrible too. Very mocking about it, always pinning you down to remind you how much stronger they are bc you seem to always forget and try to fight. Call you princess and the like just to see you squirm. Force you to say degrading things about yourself. The strength is... Irritating to them. You actually land a few blows and can struggle out of their grasp and that pisses them off and just makes them rougher. But tbh they like it because they like the fire/fight darling has, they enjoy the brat taming process. They also have the "no you can't protect/provide for yourself only I can" complex though.

The best... Probably Bennett or Chongyun or Razor, but Razor's got pros and cons tbh.

The former two, it doesn't really matter, if anything you can go on more adventures with them :) and other guys won't know and will stay away from you, which is great. It relieves a lot of his fears. And if you're a more dominant personality, well, that's fine too, they're pleasers and will do anything you want! I could actually see both of them really being into tomboys actually. They're both nervous boys and feeling like they can relate a bit more helps ease their nerves, whereas they're a lot more stuttery/blushy around a highly femme darling.

Razor... Granted the major con is he still gets irritated if you're not very obedient and has the breeding thing going on, but if you want to dress or carry yourself a certain way, he couldn't care less. He doesn't really get any of that anyway. Him with a highly feminine darling is its own pretty funny dynamic (which I will discuss eventually lol) but with a tomboy it's also kinda funny bc he just *shrug* doesn't care, it's kinda the same idea as a male darling like... Literally no matter what your sex, gender presentation, identity, whatever, literally nothing about that is gonna stop him from breeding you on the forest floor every few hours. Boy does not care.

Notably he is very intrigued by female darling in general bc he does not understand what any of these parts are or how they work and needs to... Explore. Bennett and Chongyun are a bit similar, even, they're the kind of virgins that don't even really know what pussy looks like and get hard at the slightest hint of tiddy or thigh, you know the type.

Venti is similar to Razor, actually. He could not care less about presentation and nothing about your identity or way of dress or demeanor changes anything for him, he has no preference. Some yans are "idealizers," where they have a very specific image of what darling *should* be and forcibly mold them to it, whereas some are "flexible" taste-changers - basically, their own tastes will lean towards or can even be completely transformed based on what their darling is like. He falls into the latter category. He's also very good at laughing off defiance, but he can be pushed to a snapping point more easily than Chongyun/Bennett. And he will fall a bit into the "nooooo you can't protect yourself that's my job" similar to the other boys.

[obutsuwrites]

crybaby (therapist!overhaul x f!reader)

summary: She nodded, too ashamed and drunk on her own high to function. 

Unsatisfied by her response, Chisaki grabbed her face. Her rosy cheeks squished in his grip. Chisaki realized she was cute like this. A little puffy fish. 

“You’re being such an annoying pig. My patience is growing thin. Tell me. Tell me you want my cock.” His sentence stumbled from him, in between heavy breaths. 

The woman buried her face in his chest, “Please fuck me, Kai. I need it -- please, please, please.”  warnings: boot worship, dubcon, light scalpel play, male masturbation, light medical play, praise, smut, overstimulation, yandere elements word count: 4,162 lil note: this was written as part of the bnha degeneracy 9 to 5 collab! also we like the banner?? i’m thinking of bein fancy with my posts now 👉👈 masterlist | tipjar | twitter | commission info | ask box is open (for requests)

"His eyes were lifeless. No light entered, no light left. I guess," the woman pauses and pushes out a gravely sigh, "no… refraction." Chisaki Kai notes she says the word with grief; as if it were painful. He scribbles a note: overemotional. Golden eyes examined the woman. Scanning and memorizing the imperfections in her armor. The woman that sat comfortably. It was like her little sad frame didn't bother her. Her body shook and a whimper escaped. 

'Fascinating,' he thought. She was a pathetic creature. Sobbing once a week into his fine leather. The woman was an ugly crier. Her face would swell; puffy and pink. Eyes glossy and red. Sometimes, Chisaki's pants would constrict from the display. Misery in it's finest form. A show just for him. 

Chisaki would be lying if he didn't think this blubbering woman would look better wrapped around his cock. Her squishy face smashed against his groin. Eyes watery and looking up, words of praise muffled. Latex gloves gripping her hair as he degrades her. 'A pathetic little crybaby.'

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The first time she had cried, Chisaki sent her packing. His stern voice demanding she "fix her attitude" before returning. Yet, the very next week this weepy woman crumbles. Her voice was a howl. Low and haunting. She'd shake. Her tiny body unable to contain grief. It was disgusting. This was time for help, not fits. The second time, Chisaki only found it unsightly. 

But the third time? The third time she was able to speak, and her voice trembled. Words so sad and awful. She was lesser than him. She was pathetic. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Eventually, Chisaki memorized her trauma; low self esteem and a lack of power from an event involving a roommate. Some days he learned more than others. Sometimes the woman would simply come to cry. No words, simply the sound of her wails. They bounced off the room like rubber. Her sobbing stuck in his ears like honey. Thick. Syrupy. Sweet. 

Nothing seemed to improve during their sessions. It was always one fit after another. No change. No spiral. This crybaby was the only constant for Chisaki. His patients came and went, conditions manageable. But this little crybaby of a woman was expected every Friday at 4. Punctuality was her only redeeming quality. There was something pleasant in appreciating Chisaki's time. 'Considerate' was the word. 

She stopped crying as the clock struck 6. 'Like clockwork.' Truthfully, Chisaki believed the woman allowed herself this insecurity. The two hours with him were cathartic. He circles the word in his notes. His canary eyes were glued to her file now. The woman's face was bland and uninteresting. 'You look so plain like this.' A scowl returned to Chisaki's lips. 

"Thank you, Dr. Chisaki," the woman beamed. She often pretended as if she hadn't wept. As if Chisaki were paying her a kindness. It enraged him; she was scum. Her position was beneath him. Her eyes wouldn't leave him. Glossy and wrinkled in a grin. 

'Sickening.' 

Chisaki suppressed a shiver, "I appreciate our talks," his lips twist into a smile, "Drive home safely." He always emphasized the talking. Her trembling lips and heavy voice were erotic in a way. Chisaki wondered what her tears tasted like. He envisioned himself atop her; fingers exploring her pussy, tongue lapping at her tears. 

He watched the woman leave. Golden orbs trained on her back. She took her time leaving; punishment for watching her cry. Chisaki’s cheeks grew hot. It was nauseating to think of bending her over the fine leather. Chisaki was convinced she’d be obedient, her ass waiting in the air. 

‘You’d be a soaking little crybaby, wouldn’t you?’

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

His evening began with ritual. Chisaki slipped off his slacks, opting to keep his sweater on. He felt less dirty that way. His cock sprung from his boxer briefs. Heavy and veiny. Chisaki rubbed the tip before spitting on it. He rubbed the spit in, thinking of her. Drooling and sobbing on his cock. Chisaki wanted to rob her of oxygen, ‘Her face must be so cute when she chokes.’ The thought hit Chisaki as he stroked his length. He grunted, palm pumping his cock. His other hand cradled his balls, softly kneading. Orgasms felt so dirty. Unnatural. Viscous cum shot into the pillowy deepness of a tissue. 

He looked at it and groaned. Tossing the tissue away, Chisaki started preparation. 

The hum of a computer filled his bedroom. It was ancient, but Chisaki wasn’t picky. Besides, the rudimentary technology only served one purpose. This was Chisaki’s gateway into ‘hysteria and the female orgasm.’ A million and five hundred thousand results. Everything at his fingertips. He observed her enough -- watched her enough to realize what she needed. She needed his latex clad fingers. His cock buried in her seeping core. He’d stretch her, ruin her body for anyone but him. Her cunt was made for him. 

Chisaki sat in his underwear. Face focused on an order page. Recently, Chisaki found himself hyper focusing on this fantasy; his little crybaby overstimulated and mewling, begging Chisaki for relief. She’d pray for his cock. He was her only release. 

The plan was simple. Allow her to breakdown as usual until he could no longer handle it. Then, he’d offer the woman a glass of water. Claiming that she must be ‘so dehydrated.’ If she refused, Chisaki planned to persist. ‘It’s for my peace of mind, too.’ He could strike her vulunability. Show her someone cared. She was naive and too stupid, so clearly she would lap up his kindness. Insist on drinking every last drop, letting the ‘medication’ take full effect. This necessity was for his sake. Chisaki didn’t want his crybaby too loud. 

His mind drifted to her wiggling beneath him, his boot pressed against her cheek. Perhaps he would force her to lick it, if only to remind her of her place. 

“Beneath me,” he murmurs as a hand sneaks under his waistline. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

His kit sits comfortably, tucked behind a bookshelf. Chisaki recognized he needed items. Physical means to make his vision into reality. He anticipated she would come into his embrace quietly… but a part of him hoped she’d fight him. Permit him to make an example of her. Chisaki’s chest tightened. The clock ticked slowly, as if chastising Chisaki for his plans. However, he knew she needed this -- needed him. 

In his kit sat latex gloves, rope, a scalpel, and an expensive vibrator. The personal massager took some convincing to buy; he hated the idea of a market for these… toys… but it was essential. Her face had to be flushed and sweaty. It was important she knew how inferior she was. Chisaki was doing her an injustice by letting the woman merely exist without him. 

A soft beep echoed; the beginning of his plan. Chisaki sat with his legs crossed. Leisurely. Slender fingers atop his notes. The little pile before him was a fraction of his observations. His little crybaby was interesting, to say the least. She was his favorite client. Chisaki was almost embarrassed by the sheer volume of material he kept. His closet was home to clothes and boxes; all filled with parchment. Their margins were adorned in highlight and sticky notes. Chisaki was nothing if not dedicated. 

Quiet foot falls marked her arrival. The woman would always stand outside until Chisaki welcomed her in. Even asking permission for her therapist appointment. There was something admirable about it -- something Chisaki had to break. 

“Come in,” Chisaki called. His voice carried an airy professionalism. Yellow eyes briefly looked up, but quickly returned to the floor. Chisaki held his lust by memorizing the carpet. 

She shuffled in, gently shutting the door behind her. Despite the miserable crybaby mannerisms, the woman was quite polite. ‘Very well trained for a mutt,’ Chisaki mused. Silence was heavy between them; this weeping woman was never consistent with greetings. Somedays, she wouldn’t choke out a ‘hello’ until deep within her misery. Her words obviously muted by her hands. She liked to cradle her face, Chisaki believed it was to stimulate intimacy. Something she was clearly lacking. 

Settling into a chair, she managed a meek ‘hello’ before salty tears brimmed her eyes. Chisaki snuck a glance; she looked in pain. Her bottom lip stuck between teeth. The woman nibbled at the flesh. Anything to alleviate her sadness. The sharp pain was a perfect anchor.

‘I won’t cry. I won’t cry in front of him today.’ She was going to will herself to hold back tears and actually talk. It was kind enough of Dr. Chisaki to let her openly bawl. In all honesty, the woman hated herself for it. At this point, she was only paying him to watch. The poor man was probably too shy -- too professional to ask her to quit. She was abusing his altruism. The woman bit back a shiver, puffing out her chest. Swallowing sadness. 

Chisaki looked up. Silence between them this early was… "Are you okay?" Her name comes out like a melody. Something he wants to say forever. Chisaki gripped his clipboard. He needed to ground himself. Find haven in reality. 

She stares back, "I come here bec--"

"Don't say it," he murmured. Hand resting comfortably on her thigh. There was an obvious barrier; her leggings. Plush. Almost like her pillowy thighs. Chisaki groped at the plump flesh; "You're so soft." His fingers wander to pinch, "It's disgusting."

The woman remained quiet. Debating with his hand creeping toward her thigh felt dangerous. Dr. Chisaki made her feel dirty; lewd, maybe? She wasn’t sure. The heat in her core was becoming overwhelming. Her mouth moved to speak, but nothing fell out. Empty.

“Silent now, are we? What happened to your big speech? Tell me about how you’re feeling… right now.” His words were a command. No trace of a request. Chisaki needed to hear her quake; wiggle against his clothed bulge. 

Saliva pooled in her mouth. Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. 

“I want to go home,” She blubbered, voice strained and whining. Her vision was blurry at best. Everything was splotchy. Dr. Chisaki was an imposing shape of purple and black. She knew he wore a tie; simple deep purple. Shirt. His shirt is black. It takes her a moment to compose thoughts. His hand and her only time to weep were overstimulating.

Chisaki continued his assault, fingers violently rubbing at her covered slit. He wanted to see a tear before the gloves. Before her examination. His cock pulsated at the thought. Latex in her mouth, stuffing her with the cure his cock. A shock -- an orgasm (even this word was perverse to Chisaki) would dislodge any feverishness. Dissipation. Her cries for him. 

“You’re crying,” Chisaki commented; hand slow against her crotch, “Little crybaby.” 

The woman muffled a sob and instead bit her lip. Blood bloomed in the corner of her smile. The doctor was a curse. This was illegal. He shouldn’t be touching her like this. 

He sighed.

“Nothing just as I suspected.” 

“This... “ A heave interjects, “This is my time. I can’t express myself like this.” She motions to her tears. Honestly, the woman was high-strung. Revealing herself -- taking off a mask -- was cathartic. Liberation in its purest form. 

He pursed his lips and harshly removed his hand. The auburn haired man stood up; crossing the room to a benign black bag. Chisaki rooted around for his gloves. Latex, white, a barrier between them. Chisaki wanted to touch her briefly -- skin to skin was important. Necessary. Something unavoidable. 

A snap resounded through the room. Loud. Interrupting. Chisaki wanted to be heard. He wanted her to gawk; eyes glued to him. 

Her face erupted into confusion. Fear nestled into her veins. Too cold, too much. "What is..?" The woman's voice is quiet and still muffled from tears. 

'This is the cutest you've looked, isn't it?' Chisaki thought of pinching her cheeks, examining the damage. His pants constricted. It was a kindness to teach this wrenched woman her place. 

"Keep talking. This is a part of your therapy," Chisaki stated plainly. He rummaged in the bag further, producing something thin and shiny; metallic caught in the fluorescence. Uncomfortable by the sight, the woman shifted her gaze to his feet. His choice of footwear was odd. Polished, tar black boots. His footfalls were anything but quiet. Roaring. Really, she found it intimidating. 

“Please…” She didn’t know why she begged like this. Dr. Chisaki wasn’t supposed to be this cruel. He was a therapist -- her therapist. He seemed so balanced before. Normal. And yet the man before her stood with molten eyes and a scalpel. 

Slowly, the auburn haired man strode toward her. As if he were a lion savoring his meal. Inspection for prime dread. “Don’t be stupid and move. It’d be a shame if I,” Chisaki paues to taste the words, “hurt you.” Like any greedy man, Chiaski expected resistance. 

But like a good little doe, she stares into the scalpel. ‘So moronic shiny things distract you.’ In a way, he found it enduring. She was so pathetic, so useless without his sympathetic ear. Functioning without him must be a chore; he was her sanctuary. 

He stops in front of her, boot tapping against wood. “I think it’s beneficial you learn your place, don’t you? Society must be so pressuring for you. As your licensed healthcare professional, it’s my business.”

The woman gathered remaining courage. 

“I’ll call the police.” Before her threat was tangible, Chisaki grabbed her wrists. They fit perfectly in one gloved hand. 

“Stop being such a little crybaby bitch.” Cool metal touches her cheek. A warning from Dr. Chisaki. 

A shiver overtook her spine. The scalpel was new, shiny, and sharp. He could slice into her face right now, nothing was truly stopping him. Anxiety bubbled in her mind. This man was dangerous. Maybe, maybe monstrous. He listened to her, let her reveal such an intimate part, only to turn on her trust. Betrayal in the worst form. 

The woman doesn’t respond.

“Get on all fours,” Chisaki commanded. He punctuated his sentence with a shove. “You’re such a pig bitch, you know that right? It’s sad you think anyone would listen to you sob.”

Her eyes grew into shock. With trembling hands, the woman gets on her knees. Her palms were flat atop spotless wood. Dr. Chisaki was quirky like that. If anything, she admired him for it. He seemed so disciplined. ‘All lies,’ she thinks, melancholy stuck in her eyes. Her heart practically ached. Ached for herself, ached for him.

His lips curled into a smirk. Eyes genuinely wrinkled. Finally, this succubus learned. A jolt of excitement shot through his cock; the member twitching. 

“Kiss my boots.”

She blinked at his demand. Her mind had to catch up. She needed to absorb the sentence. Should she resist, kick him, and take off? Could she? Her mind swirled with violent images. Large hands wrapped around her throat. His naked body sweaty against hers. 

The woman decided to comply. Chisaki watched in anticipation as her lips made contact with glossy leather. Staying up to wax them was worth it for this. Every fantasy was drab compared to her. She was meek; placing light kisses. Her lips ghosted and left little spit puddles in her wake. Chisaki felt a certain hotness in his stomach. The act was so disgusting, and yet, Chisaki was grinding his bulge into his palm. 

Suddenly, the woman stopped and looked up at her confidant. “Can I -- please -- can I leave now?” 

Chisaki frowns. She doesn’t sound broken enough. ‘Fixed enough,’ he corrects. ‘She needs to be fixed. Cured.’

“Did I say you could stop?” The auburn man sneered. He stomped his boot, his patient mask falling. “Keep kissing them. Slobber on them, little pig. Show me how worthless you are.”

Her tongue whirled around, saliva dotting his boots. She sounded flustered. Huffs and soft squirming. “How are you feeling? You seem to be enjoying it.” 

Without meeting his predatory gaze, she whimpered in between sloppy kisses, “I -- I love this so much, Dr. Chisaki.” Such an obedient crybaby. 

“We know each other enough for Kai, you know that.” 

Eager yellow eyes watched. Excitement lit up inside his veins. Hot and unable to reject. 

Being complacent was her only means of survival now. She stopped, doe eyes boring into him.

Drool trailed from her lips, joined with his boot. “Kai, can I?” Her warm hand removed his and rubbed his crotch. Delicate fingers feeling his length, massaging girth and veins. A vibrating, rough groan escaped Chisaki. Something deep. Something feral. It was a sound the woman couldn’t fathom. 

And yet, she felt a tingle between her thighs. 

Chisaki stroked her face. Squishy and tear-stained; she should be embarrassed. How humiliating must it be to grovel and sob? It was pitiful in a way. Broken. Pathetic. “Let me see how much you want my cock, like the filthy pig you are. So greedy.”

In response to his harsh words, the woman graciously unbuckled his sleek belt, and quickly unbuttoned his slacks. His cock was constrained underneath boxer-briefs. The cut showed off his calves, toned and lean. Being this close to Chisaki reminded her how big he was -- he towered over her. 

She fumbled with the hem of his underwear. Unsure if he wanted her hand or her mouth. 

Noticing her confusion, Chisaki brought a gloved finger to her lips, “Suck.” 

The woman shook while she tugged down Chisaki’s boxer-briefs. His cock -- slick with pre-cum -- sprung from their cloth prison. She winced at his size; he would spear her. Shoving away lewd images, she gently stroked him. An experimental touch before she took him into her mouth. His cock was heavy in her mouth. The girth of Chisaki made her cheeks puff. Gently, she tried to work his cock to the back of her throat. His bulbous tip made her gag, a sensation that had Chisaki instinctively forcing his cock down her esophagus. Her walls contracted around him. In a panic, the woman tried to shove him away. The action was futile, which left her with one option: digging her nails into him. Piercing his thighs to get him to stop. 

“Don’t be so rough, piglette.” Chisaki tugged at her hair until she winced, an audible squeal was muffled by his violent thrusting. Spit dribbled down her chin, landing on her chest. Her face was awash with crimson, discomfort in her features. Chisaki took her in like fine wine. Delicious and sweet. 

Her wet tongue tangled with his cock, exploring every inch of him. Hot breath pistoned from her nose. Her nails were still pricking him. Pain mixed with pleasure, until the hot bundle within his stomach felt as if it might explode. Salty pre-cum flooded her mouth; the taste resulting in a sour face. Chisaki knew he’d cum if she didn’t stop. 

Chisaki pushed the woman away. Surprised and caught off guard, she lost balance, slamming her palms on the floor. 

Chisaki stepped out of his clothes and crouched down. The auburn man decided to instead examine her face, and allow his fingers free-range over her delicate body. 

“Stay still,” Chisaki advised, his fingers manipulating the doughy flesh of her breast. She was as soft as he imagined. He could easily bruise her; give her marks that screamed, ‘you belong to Kai Chisaki.’ But he resisted. “Take off your blouse -- slowly -- and tell me how sad and pathetic you truly are.” 

“I’m… I’m so sad all the time. I just have this -- oh god -- I have this deep sadness and it feels suffocating, Kai. It’s pathetic. I’m pathetic.”

Her body stiffened at his request. The words were too harsh. Too rough. She lifted up her shirt and tossed it behind her. She looked away as Chisaki’s monstrous gaze transversed her chest. 

“The bra too, piggie.”

Taking off her bra added another layer of awkwardness. This wasn’t the first time a man saw her like this -- exposed and sweaty… but his hungry eyes sent chills through her. An electricity of unease. 

Cruel hands fondled her breasts. His fingers were faint over her nipples. She leaned into his touch, back arched. Barely audible mewls flew from her lips. Her body betrayed her. It was degrading. She should already be out the door and dialing the police. But no, her body craved him. ‘A compliant little pig.’ Chisaki hands wandered to her hip and played with the edge of her skirt. His motions were playful. This side of him was tolerable. Chisaki was like a school boy; bashful and nervous.

“Now, how are you feeling?” Chisaki asked. His tone was condescending; he wasn’t asking out of benign professionalism, but hateful interest. 

Her mouth opens and then closes. Unable to compose a response, the woman simply places a hand over his. 

Slapping her thigh, Chisaki chides her, “Speak, pig. Use your idotic words and tell sir how you feel.” 

She gulps. 

“I feel sick. This is shameful, s-sir.” The lewd title causes her blush to deepen. Cheeks flush with embarrassment and delight. Chisaki saw his treatment was finally starting to take hold. 

Chisaki snakes a hand under her skirt, massaging her slit once more. Her arousal was still there, clinging wet panties to her cunt. The woman bit her lip trying to stifle groans. The mixture of his fingers on her breast and between her thighs was almost too much. Sweat gathered at her brow as Chisaki slipped a finger into her soaking core. His slender finger pistoned in and out; snapping against her lips. The auburn man had a lack of mercy, his mouth clasped over her neck. Hot mouth sucking at tender flesh. His tongue circled around the abused patch of skin, desperate to savor her. 

The room was an ensemble of depravity; their moans mixed with the squelch of her pussy. She bucked into his digit, her body hurting for the stimulation. Heat built in her stomach, like a balloon filled with fire. The sensation continued to expand until it peaked; a high pitched squeal marking her orgasm. 

There was a popping sound and then, “So excited you cum already, pitiful, and I was hoping you’d squirm more. You want my cock, don’t you?” His finger leaves her cunt. Spongy walls now empty and wanting. 

She nodded, too ashamed and drunk on her own high to function. 

Unsatisfied by her response, Chisaki grabbed her face. Her rosy cheeks squished in his grip. Chisaki realized she was cute like this. A little puffy fish. 

“You’re being such an annoying pig. My patience is growing thin. Tell me. Tell me you want my cock.” His sentence stumbled from him, in between heavy breaths. 

The woman buried her face in his chest, “Please fuck me, Kai. I need it -- please, please, please.” She broke out into a series of pleas mixed with crying. Her body was still numb, still too high to really anticipate more. Overstimulated and teary eyed. 

“On your back,” Chisaki breathed, his face slightly flushed. He maneuvered her bare body and spread her legs around his wiry waist. Her knees hooked at an angle, like a spider.

Chisaki lined himself up with her tender, violated hole. “You’re so fucking insignificant.” His first thrust was hard and without warning. She gasped and placed her palms on his chest. Carnivorous, gold eyes looked down at her, mouth open and panting. His hips snapped against the back of her thigh. The sound was sharp against their perverse moans. A chorus of vulgarity. His girth made her cunt ache, sensitive walls stretched and full. “Do -- do you know how miserable you make me, little crybaby?” Forming sentences was hard. Chisaki’s cock was sucked in by her cunt; stuck in a death grip. ‘Gonna milk me for every bit of cum, aren’t you, piggie?’

Her hands roamed his chest. His relentless pumping was too much. She needed to grab something. To ground herself back into reality and not a cum induced daze. His veins added texture. Something so stimulating the woman found herself atop another peak. Ready to descend. However, Chisaki hadn’t quite reached nirvana. The cool air desensitized him. The heat of her pussy was like a shock. 

“Focus on me.” His raspy voice brought her back into the moment. Squishy body jiggling from the force of Chisaki. Lidded eyes rolled over to gawk at Chisaki. Blissed out. “Honestly, your little crybaby face is cute like this, piggie.” A light slap smacked against her cheek, as if to further compliment her. 

Chisaki’s rutted into her sloppy cunt until the hot brand in his stomach exploded; a deep groan vibrated from his chest as cum squirted into her cunt. He milked each thrust, until his balls lazily slapped against her. Tears streaked her face. Eyes glazed over with ecstasy. He grabbed her face once more. A close up look of the damage, “You did so well for a stupid little crybaby.

[yoonguurt]

Taken

pairing: harpy!Jae x reader

genre: smut

warnings: fingering, unprotected sex (please don’t), penetrative sex, yandere themes if you squint. I think that’s it? If not let me know and I can edit it and add what I missed.

word count: 6,521

A/N: Guys I am sorry it’s so late. It is currently 12:38 a.m. and I have been trying to finish this for two days. I had some issues with not one but two power outages and just a hard time with getting my shit together. Thank everyone for your patience, but a huge thanks to K for making this title card and helping me when my motivation lowered.

Collab masterlist

Walking a few beats faster than your normal pace, you round the corner just a tad too close, bumping into the wall slightly. Slowing down a little as you rub your right arm, you lift your head briefly to make sure you aren’t on a collision course with anything else before speeding back up. You were used to this route, you took it at least once a week but you frequently went this way even when you didn’t have the Mythology class. Though, to be fair, you weren’t really taking the class, you were the teaching aide, and you absolutely loved it. Your previous class had just ended and even though you weren’t due to the classroom for another two hours, you always went early. It was, in a sense, your “me time.” Your freshman year, you tried so hard to get picked as the aide for Professor Kim, being that was only the person you admired most in life. The man had written no less than three books on different versions of mythology, all of which you had read numerous times, his feature on Greek mythology being your favorite. By the time your sophomore year had come around, your grades had gotten you noticed enough to be considered for being an aide, it was just pure luck that you managed to be assigned to Prof. Kim. By junior year, he had asked for you to once again be his aide, which led to now. 

You sat down at your own little desk in the corner of Prof. Kim’s office, it had been his idea to have you a desk put in his office after he found you in the library pouring over your notes one too many times. It was part of your routine, you would leave from your previous class and go sit somewhere and look over your notes from the previous week. You wanted to make sure that your mind was refreshed before each class. After a few weeks, your mentor mentioned that there was an extra desk in his office that you could use, rather than the uncomfortable tables in the library, which you happily accepted. Once you were settled, you pulled out your notebook and began your routine of looking over your notes. As you hyper focus on your notes, a take out coffee gets placed beside you. A smile plays at your lips as you look up to thank Professor Kim. “How many times have I told you that there are better things for you to be doing with your free time?” You immediately giggle at the playful tone he has and think quickly of a response. “Well, that’s probably true, but how the hell am I supposed to beat you in your own field if I don’t study and do my best?” He lifts his hand to his chest in mock hurt before you both burst into a fit of laughter. With a shake of his head, your mentor turns to his desk and sits and busies himself as you go back to your notes.

You get to the lecture hall before Professor Kim, as usual, he prefers to be “fashionably late” as he likes to say. You scan the room, taking note of everyone present. Most of the students here are returners, you know the vast majority from the previous year. During this year, you’ve taken the time to get to know any new comers. At this point, you know the name of everyone here and what seat they prefer to sit in. Well, until now. As your eyes scan the room, you notice a new face. You take a moment, wondering if you have somehow missed this person every week, but that quickly fades from your mind, you know there’s no absolutely way. But why would a person join the class so late in the semester? He would have missed so much, was there even a point to joining more than halfway through? You realize that your eyes had stayed focused on the new man. He was certainly very handsome. He looked like something only your imagination could conjure up. He was tall and thin with blonde hair that you could tell wasn’t his natural color, but you would be lying if you said it didn’t pair well with his dark chocolate eyes. It hit you that you were STILL staring and you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you quickly tried to move your gaze. You thought you averted your eyes rather quickly, and that made you feel a little bit better, but the last thing about him that you noticed was the small but cocky smirk that played across his lips.

The door slowly opens and Professor Kim silently walks in, not lifting his head until he reaches his podium. He looks around the room, seemingly in suspense before flashing a small smile and addressing the room. “We’re going to be doing something a little different today. Today, I’m going to have Y/N run this lecture.” You’re head snapped in his direction, panic flooding your gaze as it landed on him. He stepped aside from the podium, taking a seat at the small table you were seated at. He gave you a small smile and a slight nod of his head, his way of letting you know he had full confidence in you. You stood, legs slightly shaking as you made your way to the podium in front of the room. You knew these people, for the most part, you knew you shouldn’t be as nervous as you were but you really couldn’t help it. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, opening your eyes to find every set of eyes fixed on you.

Glancing down at your notes, hoping to buy yourself some time to shake your nerves, you take a moment to force yourself to stop holding the podium so tightly. You could see your knuckles turning white and you knew you wouldn’t be able to do this if you were so tense. Taking one more deep breath, you fixed your eyes on the sea of faces in front of you. “Ok guys, I need you to bear with me here. You guys know how quickly my brain flutters from one idea to another and how sometimes my mouth can’t keep up with my brain.” She sighs in relief when that gets a laugh from the class, a smile quickly replacing the anxious frown she had before. Finally feeling a little confidence, you jump right into your first teaching lesson. “Well, we’ve already covered our fair share of gods, theories and creatures, you all know how excited I got about the gorgons,” that got another laugh out of everyone, “but I think I may be able to top that excitement. We’re going to be exploring one of the lesser talked about creatures, and they’re really one of my favorites. Harpies.” You watch as few people perk up at the mention of the creatures, but you notice the blonde man really focus his attention on you. You could only assume that he too had a fascination with the topic, which would explain his sudden appearance.

“There are many different accounts of harpies throughout mythology. They have been called beautiful creatures, but have also been referred as quite the opposite. Some people say they were known to steal food as you were eating it, while others say they would steal people. There’s really only one thing all accounts have in common. Harpies were known to be some form of a mix of a woman and a bird.” Your eyes had continued to scan the room and every time your eyes landed on the handsome stranger, you could tell that he seemed to be hanging on your every word. The other students, while you could tell they were intrigued, it was nothing compared to the blonde man. His interest struck you as odd. Not that he was interested, just the look on his face as you spoke. His eyes were focused on you, seeming to burn through you really, and his face was like stone. He looked like he could erupt in anger at any time, but you couldn’t think of a reason why he would. Tearing your attention away, you continued your lecture, not wanting to lose your momentum. “This leads researchers to believe that there weren’t male harpies.” You could hear someone give a disgusted snort from somewhere in the room. You stop and look around, trying to figure out where it came from. The quick glance offers you no information, but you feel a little hurt that this would happen during your first lesson. You push that hurt feeling and continued on. 

You conclude your lesson, releasing a breath that you hadn’t realized you had been holding, but feeling proud that you hadn’t flubbed anything up too badly. Professor Kim tells everyone that they are free to go, turning to you afterward and let you know how proud he is of you and finishing off by saying that he is considering making this a semi regular thing. You grace him with the biggest smile you think you’ve ever had and thank him and tell him how much you appreciate it. He dismisses you shortly after and you walk out feeling like nothing could ruin your day. 

As you walk down the hall, you think about what you should do for the rest of the day. Mythology was your last class for the day, and while you really want to start planning for next week, you know it’s probably far too soon to be doing that. Especially since you know that you’ll make approximately 300 changes before the next class. You settle on getting a coffee on the way home and settling in front of the tv. A sudden call of your name draws you out of your thoughts and you quickly turn around to see where the voice came from. You see the tall newcomer from the mythology class walking toward you. Well, sauntering really. You can see the amount of confidence he has in himself just by his stride, he’s gorgeous and he knows it. He catches up and doesn’t immediately speak, which baffles you a little. The man had the nerve to stop you in a crowded hallway just to not even speak. What the hell was that about? “Do you have a question about class or something?” You try to keep your voice as polite as possible, despite the small irritation you feel. The man gives you that stupid smirk again and shakes his head lightly, causing his hair to fall into his face a little, which makes him more attractive and  you more irritated. “I can see you know alot about mythology, but you also don’t know as much as you think you do. Your harpy interpretation was really cute, but wrong. Now if you really want to learn about harpies, let me know.” He hands a small slip of paper, which no doubt has his number on it, before he gives you a smile that is small but somehow still manages to give you butterflies. As he walks off without another word, you’re left speechless. Just who the hell does this guy think he is?

Over the next few days, you notice that you see the stranger almost everywhere. Late night run to the corner store near your house, he’s in the aisle next to you. Go to the library to check out some possible topics for next week, he’s at the table across from you. He was even at the park on the other side of town when you decided to go read under a tree. By the time you see him in your favorite coffee shop, you’ve had enough. You push your chair out from under you, the sound of the legs sliding against the floor making your ears hurt slightly and causes a chill to run down your spine, but you can’t be bothered to care. You have a fire behind your eyes as you stalk over to where he’s sitting and give a poke on the shoulder. “What the fuck is your deal, huh? Are you following me or something?” He looks at you with a dead pan face, other than a slight look of confusion. “I really have no idea what the hell you are talking about.” You study his face for a moment and you can’t see any sign of lying and you immediately feel silly. You issue a  quick apology and change the subject, hoping to breeze past your lashing out. “Who are you anyway? I’ve never seen you in myth before the other day. Did you just decide to drop by late semester to see what it was about?” He lets out a small laugh and you’re struck by how beautiful a laugh can be. “The name is Jae, I guess you could say I am new to the area.” His reply is brief, but all of your questions are answered and when he gives you a full smile you immediately drop your gaze to your feet, suddenly flustered. The fact that he had gotten you flustered twice already had you slightly irritated. The flustered blushing girl was not who you were. You had always been a very confident and sure of yourself, blushing and getting tongue tied was not something you did often. And now this complete stranger had made it happen TWICE in less than a week was aggravating.

“Have you thought about my offer, teachy lady?” Even with your eyes on the floor, you could hear his smirk. You’re blush was quickly gone as you felt the slightest tint of anger bubble up in your stomach. “I’ve been studying mythology for years, I really doubt there is anything you could tell me that I don’t already know.” Your tone was curt, maybe a little more than you had intended but that was completely fine with you. You fixed your glare on the pair of eyes in front of you, doing your best not to fall into a trance of just staring at the beauty in them. The brief silence was broken in the form of a harsh laugh. You narrowed your eyes as Jae continued to laugh until he was a little out of breath. “No offense, dollface, but you don’t know shit.” he stood from the table and moved toward the door. “When you’re ready to talk, you have my number.”

The thoughts of the coffee house interaction still fill your mind as you ready yourself for bed. You honestly can’t believe he spoke to you that way, especially during your first actual conversation with the man. But what was worse was that it actually turned you on. It wasn’t the words he said as much as the tone he said them in. He had this cocky tone that affected you deep down in the pit of your stomach. You didn’t want to simmer on that thought for too long, you did your best to shake the thought from your head as you crawled into bed. You made sure to flip your pillow over, cold side is always the best side, before you slid under the covers and waited for sleep to take you.

You feel tips of fingers ghosting up your thigh, inching closer and closer to clothed heat. Just before they reach their mark, they sweep to the side and fall down to grab a handful of your ass, nails digging into your flesh. You let out a whimper, making your disappointment known, only to be met with a soft smack on the cheek of your ass. You let out a loud whine, loving the small sting the swat left behind. “Patience, baby. You’ll get everything you want, you just have to be patient.” The words whispered in your ear came just before a soft nibble to your earlobe. You could feel the wetness from you sex causing your underwear to cling to you. How would one man have so much power over you to have you so wet without even touching you? The ghost tips were back, this time traveling from your neck, down to your breasts before gently bypassing the hem on your sleep pants. You felt a burst of pleasure as a slow circle was drawn around your clit as the single digit slid through your folds and slowly pushed into your entrance. You let out a soft sigh, finally getting some sort of relief, pleasure flowing through your body. Your mind was clouded as a second finger prodded at your entrance only allowing you to form a single word. “Jae.”

You jolted up in your bed, a slight sheen of sweat covering your body. What the fuck was that? This could not be happening, you didn’t even really like the guy. Sure he had the beauty of a god, he smelled nice, and his laugh sounded heavenly, but that doesn’t mean anything. You still didn’t like him. Your gaze drifted to your purse where the slip of paper he had given you still remained crumpled up among the mass of pens you seem to collect. Absolutely not, there was no way. This was just a dream, it didn’t mean a thing, not one thing. You could totally ignore that dream like it never happened and not think of it at all. Totally. 

You were doing pretty good about not thinking about your dream. You had gone to your classes and had been able to completely focus on what the lecture was about and had been able to take some great notes. You honestly hadn’t even thought of Jae or the dream since you had gotten a shower and headed out for your day. Still keeping your mind off of it, you sat at your desk in Professor Kim’s office, looking over some notes your mentor had been gracious enough to take for you last week. The two of you had already talked about this lecture and you were both relieved and a little disappointed that you would not be leading this week. You hadn’t really prepared much, which was completely unlike you, so you were glad you weren’t having to lecture without preparing. On the other hand, you had enjoyed the feeling of being in front of everyone as they listened to you. Realizing the time, you shut your notebook and walked to the lecture room. You did notice that you weren’t walking at your normal speed, and you couldn’t really figure out why you were sort of dragging but you decided not to think about it too long.

You made it to the room just before Professor Kim walked in, which really let you know how slow you must have been walking. You scanned the room, not wanting to admit that you couldn’t really decide whether or not you wanted to see that shimmer of blonde hair. When you didn’t see Jae, you felt a mix of emotions, but you absolutely would not consider the fact that you were more disappointed than relieved. You sat down at the desk just to the left of the podium, gaze focused on your mentor when a voice pipes in behind you. “Sorry for being late, class ran over.” You turn and see Jae walking in and he flashes a quick smile. Of course your cheeks flush, how does he even do that? He moves to take a seat at the front of the room, the opposite of where he sat last week. You quickly snap your head back to the man at the podium, trying to pay attention to what he says. It doesn’t take long for you to feel like you’re being watched and you cast a small glance toward the rest of the people in the room, only to find Jae’s eyes solely focused on you. You cut your eyes away quickly, but you can still feel his eyes on you. You leave the lecture with no new notes, no memory of what the professor talked about, and a gnawing sensation in your gut.

Jae and the dream had been on your mind since you left mythology. You had done everything you could to take your mind off of it and so far nothing had worked. So here you were, angrily scrubbing your already clean kitchen counter. You thought back to how he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you and it made your blood boil a little. You started scrubbing with a bit more force, every now and then your gaze flittered over to your purse. Should you just get him over here and just let him annoy you so you could stop thinking of his hand down your pants? Or maybe you could get him over for a quick fuck? After realizing the scrubbing had stopped, you tossed your sponge in your sink and made your way to your coffee table. Turning your purse over and letting the contents fall all over the table, you fumbled around trying to find the small crumpled paper. After a brief search, you find it and unfold it, staring at it for a moment as you try to make up your mind. Not letting yourself think about it too much, you grab your phone and type Jae’s number and a short message. “Still up for that talk about harpies?”

Fifteen minutes later as you sit on your couch, bouncing your legs nervously, you hear a knock on the door. You still weren’t sure how he hadn’t needed your address, but maybe he lived near or something. He did seem to live close since he was always where you were. You scrambled to get to the door before he knocked again, opening just as his hand was about to rap against it. You both stood there in silence, just staring at each other for a while until Jae lifted his eyebrow and nodded his head toward your apartment. You stuttered a bit while telling him to come in and asking if he wanted anything to drink. He gave you a polite no as he sat down in the chair across from the couch while you sat down on the far end of the couch, trying to put some distance between you so maybe he couldn’t affect you as much. The silence from before resumed, with you sitting there awkwardly while he seemed very relaxed and calm. “What’s wrong, dollface? I make you nervous or something?” His voice brought you out of your awkward phase rather quickly. “Are you gonna talk about harpies or just flirt?” 

He gave a loud laugh, leaning farther back in the chair while he tried to catch his breath. “Fair enough, babe. So let me start with the harpies being ugly thing. That is just rude and an insult. Have you ever met a harpy? How do you know if they’re ugly? Never judge on someone else’s opinion, dollface.” You almost burst out laughing. Was this man serious? Here he was talking like harpies were real and walking among people, rather than a myth. “And secondly. No males? What the heck is that about? How would you get more harpies if male harpies weren’t a thing? You do know how reproduction works, don’t you? I know for a fact that harpies are in fact beautiful creatures and there are male harpies. I mean, just look at me, male and beautiful.”"

He flashed a cocky smile, and you weren't sure what he was saying. Was this man trying to imply that he was a harpy? You couldn't stop yourself from laughing this time, letting it all out until you were gasping for air. "Are you seriously trying to tell me that you are a harpy?" you managed to get out once you had caught your breath. He stared at you for a moment before he replied. "Yes. That is exactly what I'm saying." You didn't think you had it in you to laugh more, but you were wrong. "Hey! Stop laughing, woman! I'm serious here." But stop laughing you did not do. You just started laughing harder, tears forming in your eyes, only stopping when he stood up. "Fine. I'll show you."

He stood next to the chair as he took off his black hoodie and tossed it on the back of the chair, followed by his shirt. You were taken aback by his random stripping in your living room and quickly moved to cover your eyes. You heard what sounded like the flap of wings before he spoke to you. "You can't see if you cover your eyes, dummy." Tearing your hands away, you were ready to snap at him when you finally got a look at him. Given the circumstances, you were ashamed to admit that the first place your eyes went was his naked chest. He wasn't super defined but he was definitely nice to look at. "My wings are back here, darling." Your eyes snapped up to see that he did in fact have a set of wings and your eyes widened. They were huge and resembled the wings of an eagle. You placed your hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn so you could see if had glued them on or something, but you found that they were very much attached to his back. You stood there in awe for a while, not sure what to say. His voice once again brought you out of your daze. 

"You can touch them if you want." His voice wasn't far above a whisper and you glanced up at him to double check that it would be ok. His eyes were soft and he looked back down at you and nodded his head gently. You reached out and slowly moved your hand forward cautiously. When your skin met the feathers, you almost snatched back as a reflex, but you fought it and ran your hand down the side of the wing. They were soft, softer than anything you had ever felt, and you felt wrong touching them. Like they were made of glass. You quickly moved your hand back, causing a look of surprise to pass across Jae's features. 

"Are you scared of me, dollface?" Were you scared? You didn't feel fear, at least you didn't think so. You felt many things. Awe, confusion, amazement, lust, but fear was nowhere to be found. You knew that you most definitely SHOULD be afraid, but you couldn’t find a reason to be. You didn’t feel like he would harm you in any way and you really couldn’t explain why, but you accepted it without much thought. You realized that you still needed to answer him, but you didn’t feel like words were not what was needed. Standing on your toes, you leaned in toward his mouth, hoping that he would meet you somewhere in the middle. He didn’t move, opting to let you stretch and reach until your lips found his. He stayed still for a moment only moving when his hand lifted to cup your face. It was unlike any kiss you had had before. It was intoxicating. It was soft and strong at the same time, sweet but full of lust. It didn’t take long for his tongue to swipe at your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You didn’t hesitate to fulfil his unspoken request, immediately flooded with the taste of him. He tasted of coffee, a sweet flavor with a hint of bitterness. You felt that it should be an unpleasant taste, but you could tell that you were already addicted. The soft moan that you whimpered couldn’t be held in and you could tell that he was pleased that you didn’t hold it when his hand moved from your jaw to your waist, pulling closer to him. He pulled back, to catch his breath you assumed, and rested his forehead on yours. “I’ll take that as a no then.” The heat of his breath fanned over your face, and you felt your knees start to buckle at the sound of his husky whisper.

He pulled your body closer, though you were sure you couldn’t get much closer to him. With a quirked eyebrow, he met your gaze. “Bed?” You nodded almost too excitedly, earning a chuckle from Jae. Taking his hand, you turned and led him down the hall to your small bedroom. He closed the door behind himself, quickly spinning you around as his hands found your ass and he lifted you up and pressed your back against the door. You quickly wrapped your legs around his waist, lightly grinding your core against the growing bulge in his sweats. He let out a low moan before backing up slightly, just enough so his bulge had moved away from you. “So needy, already?” Your reply came only in the form of a moan, which granted you another chuckle from Jae. You whined, hoping it would convince him to move back and give you the friction you needed. He did move closer, but only to whisper in your ear. “Patience, baby.” You instantly moaned loudly as the memory of your dream came flooding back to you. Jae moved back against you before removing your back from the door and turning you both towards your bed. You were expecting him to toss you onto your bed, but instead he gently laid you down, climbing over you without breaking the kiss he had surprised you with. When you were firmly planted on the bed, he stood up straight, his wings raised and you weren’t sure you had seen anything sexier in your life. “I think it’s a little unfair that I have my shirt off and here you are still fully clothed.” Your arms instantly flew to the hem of your shirt, ready to tear it off and fling it to some unknown part of the room. Jae’s hands moved on top of yours, slowing your movements. “There’s no need to rush, dollface. What did I say about patience?” He stood back straight, allowing you to remove your own shirt. You slowed your pace, taking an agonizingly long time to rid yourself of the article. When your shirt was fully off, you tossed it to the floor, reaching around to unclasp your bra. You were slow with your movements again, eyes locked on Jae’s face as he watched you. When you tossed it aside, leaving yourself bare, you could see the lust in Jae’s eyes. His pupils were dark and blown out and his tongue darted out of his mouth to wet his lips.

You leaned back on the bed, putting your arms behind you and waited for Jae to make a move. He just stared for a moment, taking you in for a while. When he finally moved, his hands lunged forward, grabbing your leggings and pulling them down your legs slowly. He kept eye contact as he took what felt like forever to rid you of the clothing, only making you soak your panties further. Once he had your leggings off, he lowered himself on top of you, making his way to your neck, leaving small nibbles along your jaw. You turned your head to give him better access, a low groan coming from him in appreciation. His lips were suddenly replaced with his tongue, licking a slow stripe from the bottom of your jaw to your ear. He took your lobe into his mouth and giving it a bite as he moved his lips up. “Tell me what you want, baby.” His voice was low with a small bit of rasp to it, that coupled with his words had you moaning almost instantly. He hummed against your skin, urging you to give him an answer. “F-fingers” was all you could say, hoping to relive your dream in any way you could. He gave you a quick kiss as his hand made its way down to the hem of your underwear. You held your breath as he inched closer, the anticipation had you dripping and you needed some sort of relief. Finally his hand made its way into your underwear and you were almost panting as you waited for him to make contact with your throbbing clit. Just before his finger reached your bud, he quickly moved his hand lower, skipping over your clit completely. You let out a whine and he gave a chuckle as his face lowered to your chest. 

He took your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it as he slowly plunged two fingers into you. The feeling of finally having something filling you gave you just enough to give you the pleasure you had been craving, but his slow pace had you still needing more. You let out a long whine as you let your hand fall to his arm and tried to shove him further down. “M-more. Please.” You could feel him smile against your breast before he bit down and slid his mouth off of you. “Such a needy girl.” His tone was playful, but the look in his eye was very serious. Picking up his pace, he curled his fingers slightly finding your sweet spot almost immediately. Your moan was so intense that it almost felt like it hadn’t even come from you. On instinct, you grabbed Jae’s shoulder, nails digging into his skin. He let out a small moan of his own and tried to make a mental note of a sweet spot of his own. His pace quickened once more, his fingers pumping in and out of, causing your high to approach rapidly. You could feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten and Jae must have sensed it too. He leaned into you, lips just barely touching the shell of your ear. “Come on, let go for me, dollface.” With one last hard thrust of his fingers, the coil burst as you came all over his fingers and he helped you ride out your orgasm.

He brought his fingers up to his mouth, making sure to keep eye contact, and slowly shoved them in his mouth. He let out a groan at your taste, eyes slowly closing as he savored your release. The sight was beautiful. You loved being able to see how much he loved the way you tasted, you could almost watch him all day. The neediness you still felt said otherwise. Without really thinking, you grabbed one of his wings and gave it a small tug, catching his attention but also earning a groan. You’d revisit that later. “Jae. I need you inside of me. Please.” He gave you a smirk as he moved to fit himself between your legs. He lined himself up with your entrance, pausing briefly to make eye contact as he slowly pushed into your walls. Once he finally bottomed out, you let out a long moan, feeling more full that you ever had before. He gave you a moment to adjust, but you were quick to start moving your hips and whining for him to move. He slowly pulled himself back before harshly thrusting into you, causing another loud moan to fall from your lips. “You take me so well, dollface. I knew you would as soon as I saw you.” 

Praise was falling from his lips as he picked up his pace, holding your hips in place as he timed his thrusts. Moans were falling from your mouth almost constantly as his pace picks up again. Your hands were wrapped around his shoulders, nails digging into the skin around the base of his wings, his loud moans letting you know how much of a sweet spot you had found. His mouth fell to your neck and his pace got sloppy. You could tell he was close and so were you, his name falling from your mouth like a prayer. “Give me one more, baby. I know you can do it. Let it go.” One hard thrust was all you needed to come around his cock, with one final moan. Jae hurriedly asked you where you wanted him to cum. You didn’t have the strength to form words, so your reply was a simple whine as you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer to you with your feet. You knew by a moan, deeper and longer than all the rest, that he got your meaning. Giving a few more hard thrusts, his hips grew frantic as he chased his own high. His body finally stilled as he released inside of you, choked moans and grunts falling from his mouth as he planted his face in the bend  of your neck.

Jae placed a kiss sweetly on your lips and asked if you were ok and made sure he hadn’t hurt you in any way. “ ‘M fine. Just tired.” It had taken all of your strength to form the broken sentence and you watched as he gave you another small kiss and get up to clean you up and find your clothes. He got himself dressed and asked if you wanted him to stay or if he needed to leave, and you responded by making grabby hands at him. He gave a quiet giggle as he climbed into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you as snuggled close to him. “I knew you’d be the one. I just knew.” Sleep took you before you could ask him what he meant. 

You could feel air blowing against your face, drawing you from your slumber. You slowly opened your eyes to find the sunrise, and you were very confused as to where you were. You move to get a better look at your surroundings. “Be still or you’ll fall, baby.” You look around to see Jae smiling at you, brighter than you had seen yet. Glancing around again, you turn to Jae, eyes full of concern. “Jae what’s going on? Where are we?” His smiles fades into a smirk as he places a kiss against your temple, warming you up despite the bitter breeze. “I’m taking you to my nest, dollface.” He gives you a small squeeze before he continues. “There are a few things I need to say. Remember in the coffee shop when you asked me why I was everywhere you were? I might have lied. I was following you, but only because you interested me so much. I just wanted to see what made you tick. After I told you what I am and you accepted me, and then after our wonderful night together, I decided that I wanted to keep you around. So, we’re heading to my nest. My home.” You watched him for a moment, confusion still clouding your mind. “And what if I don’t want to go to your nest?” Your tone was playful, not really sure what outcome you wanted or really what you expected him to say. He gave you another kiss to the temple and flashed you a smile. “Well. Then I drop you.”

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums: a stupendously underrated classic of queer punk meets synth sophistication, and an album without which we wouldn’t have Dare by the Human League: Homosapien, the 1981 solo opus of Buzzcocks frontman Pete Shelley. Find out more by watching the video, or reading the transcript below!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be talking about one of those albums that isn’t necessarily the most acclaimed or best remembered work of its period, but nonetheless played an important role in history, and remains unrivaled for its uniqueness: Pete Shelley’s Homosapien, first released in 1981.

Shelley has historically been chiefly remembered as the frontman of the punk act, Buzzcocks. But, despite punk’s reputation for simplicity to the point of obnoxiousness, Shelley was one of many musicians to come from the punk scene with a penchant for experimental or otherwise ground-breaking music. His very first solo release, 1980’s Sky Yen, features little more than a brash wall of oscillating electronic noise, not unlike the earliest provocations of industrial artists like Cabaret Voltaire.

Music: “Sky Yen (Part One)”

Subsequent generations of critics have gone great lengths to coin and define terminology, in the hopes of breaking this period down into constituent parts, but the more I study it, the more I’m inclined to view it as just a huge soup. There was, quite simply, a lot going on in Britain’s underground in the late 70s and early 80s, and in practice, the lines between punk, post-punk, industrial, synth, noise, and other avant-garde miscellany are frequently illegible. As an artifact of this era, Homosapien resonates with all of the contradictions this melting pot would imply, fusing emotional rawness and pristine production in a way that never quite settles down and feels comfortable.

Music: “I Don’t Know What It Is”

“I Don’t Know What It Is” served as the opening track of the album’s second side, as well as its lead single. With a bona fide guitar solo as well as a propulsive, and truly soaring, chorus, it somewhat resembles that most 1980s of art forms, the power ballad. It is, ostensibly, a love song, and is revealed to be one quickly enough, but its portrayal of love is far from kind. While a real power ballad might take the concept of love for granted, “I Don’t Know What It Is” seems to portray it as something mysterious, inscrutable, and dangerous. And I can’t forget to mention just how much Pete Shelley stands out as a vocalist--his high-pitched, perhaps even fried or shrill vocals add a great deal to the song’s sense of unease, and really sell the idea of someone who’s being overtaken by an uncontrollable and dominating force.

Of course, perhaps the most noteworthy thing about Homosapien’s sound is its fusion of the hard, driving acoustic guitar of punk with the electronic sensibilities of its producer, Martin Rushent. I wouldn’t say this combination is ever terribly cohesive in its sound, but I think that���s why I find this album so interesting: there’s a tension that permeates each track, a feeling that things don’t fit together. While Homosapien is a pioneering work of electronic-centered production, enough of the pieces are still in place that you can certainly hear the shape of music to come as you listen to it. It’s not just the synthesisers, but also the use of electronic percussion here--it’s difficult to overstate the impact that so-called “drum machines” had around this time. While reviled by many, both then and now, rhythm machines were undeniably “instrumental” in changing what popular music sounded like. Even synthesiser-based electronic acts like Gary Numan, OMD, and Kraftwerk often relied on traditional percussion, so this genuinely was pretty shocking at the time.

Perhaps the most important element of the legacy of Homosapien is the fact that Martin Rushent would go on to use the skills he honed here to produce one of the most influential albums of the 1980s, and perhaps of all time: The Human League’s Dare, which would go on to cast an enormous shadow on nearly all popular music to come, after playing an enormous role in instigating an era of popular dominance of synth-pop. In that sense at least, Homosapien is certainly a very historically important album, and for that reason alone, I think it deserves a fair bit more attention than it gets. Still, for as much as the electronics might be the most forward-looking element of this album, one also can’t deny that it remains full of aggressive and perfectly punk overtones, as on the crass or perhaps dismissive screed of “Guess I Must Have Been In Love With Myself.”

Music: “Guess I Must Have Been In Love With Myself”

While Homosapien has many moments of seemingly being too thorny to get a good grip on, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t also times in which it can feel like a bit more than the sum of its apparent parts, as on its most narrative-driven track, “Pusher Man.”

Music: “Pusher Man”

“Pusher Man” is one of, if not the, most synth-centered compositions to be had on Homosapien, but its insistent pacing and neurotic portrayal of the “low life” theme of buying illicit drugs mean you’ll never confuse it for run of the mill synth-pop. Moreso than anything else the album offers, this track reminds me of the sort of “synth-punk” that American acts like the Units and Crash Course In Science would put forward at around the same time. “Pusher Man” was, at the very least, a sufficiently experimental track to earn the honour of being cut from the US release of the album in order to make room for some non-album A-sides, as happened to many albums at the time. But hey, that’s enough beating around the bush. Let’s talk about the real crown jewel of this album.

Music: “Homosapien”

If you’ve heard anything from this album before, chances are, it was probably the title track, which proved to be quite the commercial success--despite being banned by the BBC on account of its homoerotic content. Given that this very same year, they also came after OMD’s “Enola Gay” for its obviously nonexistent reference to homosexuality, one might be forgiven for thinking that a tune called “Homosapien” was simply misinterpreted. The title track isn’t terribly explicit material, but its clever wordplay nonetheless deals quite deftly with issues of sexuality and personal identity. In the earlier verses, Shelley introduces us to typified roles of gay male sexuality--the “cruiser,” the “shy boy”--only to seemingly doff them with the tune’s defiant refrain, asserting that the only truly important identity a human being has is that of “Homosapien.” Far from being an unfortunate coincidence, the similarity of “Homosapien” to “homosexual” is being employed here completely deliberately, particularly with it being mashed into a single word and thus gaining a greater resemblance to the word “homosexual” in print. It not only allows Shelley to belt out a borderline dirty word, but also creates a sort of unconscious syllogism, suggesting, in a sense, that homosexuals are people too.

With elements of both unapologetic pride in one’s own queerness, as well as the uncompromising assertion that humanity is something much deeper than that, the title track of Homosapien is one of the most fascinating and inspiring queer anthems of its time. Its artsy slipperiness has prevented it from feeling more shallow with time, and its straightforward or raw quality, intensified by that constant acoustic guitar, has kept it sounding equally sharp. It genuinely does surprise me that this album isn’t at least a little bit better remembered than it is. Outside of the title track, most of this album is currently not available on services like Spotify and YouTube Music at the time of this writing, and I actually struggled to present musical examples here. That’s really a pretty high level of neglect in this day and age, and I hope it can be rectified in the relatively near future.

It would be no exaggeration for me to say that Homosapien features some of my very favourite cover art of any album. Homosapien’s sleeve design sees Shelley occupy some sort of sleek, but hollow hyper-modernist office. Geometric forms suggest the world of the artificial or ideal. An Egyptian statue beside Shelley is a reminder of history, and the idea that even the greatest empires must eventually fall. Likewise, the telescope and early computer positioned nearer to Shelley are evocative symbols of science and technology--but in context they seem more sinister, being juxtaposed against a phrenology bust, which evokes the ways in which our attempts at science have caused misunderstanding and great human misery in the past. The central scene is framed in with large areas of black, which make the space feel even more claustrophobic and uninviting, and Shelley appears to be pushed into the background, almost belittled by the inanimate objects. Overall, I think it’s sort of funny that this album’s cover is perhaps more iconally “New Wave” than the music itself ended up being, particularly with Shelley clad in this somewhat foppish white suit and bow tie--certainly a big change of attire for a former punk!

Given the experimental nature of the collaboration between Shelley and Rushent, you might be surprised to learn that Homosapien actually wasn’t a one-off. Just two years later, Shelley would release a follow-up LP, XL-1, which was also produced by Rushent and largely continues the same ideas. While Shelley would never see the success of “Homosapien” again, the XL-1 single “Telephone Operator” would also chart to a lesser degree.

Music: “Telephone Operator”

My favourite track on Homosapien is “Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça,” which closes out the first side of the album. If you’re familiar with my other work, you probably already know that I’m coming at this as someone chiefly interested in the electronic side of things, and I think that of everything on this album, “Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça” is the closest to being convincing as a synth-pop tune. With a bubbly, synth-dominant sound and lyrics that are more contemplative than aggressive, it’s much closer to the mould of what I usually listen to for fun than a lot of the other tracks are. That’s everything for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça”

[bansheeoftheforest]

OC Masterlist

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Welcome to my OC masterlist! I have a lot of ocs! I hoard them like a goblin and I will never stop! SO!!! OCS!!!! So far we got two collections of OCS; The O’Jekylls, which is Dr. Jekyll’s fam, and my very own DND character who I turned into a Lodger! <3

All OCS can be found under the tag #Banshees OCS!

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               --Lodgers--

——————Humans——————

Cederic Beumont

Cederic Beumont is a French artist (and prostitute) turned mad scientist throughout multiple events happening in his early adulthood. He is the oldest twin out of him and his sister, Cassandra, and the two of them were raised by their single father in a small village in France. After the death of their father by the age of twenty, Cederic and his sister travel around Europe until they move to America, where they lived for five years. During those five years, Cederic and Cassandra-- previously inseparable-- have a falling out which ends in Cederic storming out and leaving Cassandra to run the hotel they had set up on the coast of Florida. The falling out, combined with a lot of other stressful and dramatic things happening around him, manages to make Cederic’s mental health crumble until he practically goes insane. Previously an artist, Cederic turns to science in hopes of being able to achieve something that would make him “more” than his sister, who always has been the “smarter” one out of the two of them, which ends up in him studying Frankenstein’s life like the Holy Bible. He gets obsessed with the study of lightning and he gets obsessed with the idea to one-up God, as he previously had been born and raised Catholic, and he feels like he would be able to do everything that Frankenstein failed to do (take care of Creature, own up to the responsibilities, keep the innocent safe, etc) despite having no proof of him being able to do everything differently.

With the help of his boyfriend, Wilhelm, and Wilhelm's biology studying friends, he manages to continue his experiments. He moves between calling himself a Fulminologic Necromancer and a Necromantic Fulminologist, depending on the people he surrounds himself with, as he studies lightning as a whole and applies the knowledge to necromancy. His early experiments involves reviving dead animals with the use of electricity, although he does dabble in alchemy and chemistry when it’s needed.

Around the time he is 30 years old, he hears the word upon the street about the Society For Arcane Sciences in London, England. His boyfriend helps him scrap in enough money for a one-way ticket to London on the promise that they will still hold contact, to which Cederic immediately agrees. He travels to London by ship and marvels over how fantastically dirty and gross the entire city is, there is slums everywhere! So many animals and mythical creatures!! The moment he is within the city walls, he manages to find Sergeant Enoch Brokenshire and pleads for him to show Cederic the way to the Society. Brokenshire is, of course, very put off by this hyper-energetic bastard he can barely hear over his (normally trained away) french accent, but Brokenshire does not get paid enough to care. He basically just grabs Cederic by the collar and drags him like a stray cat over to the Society and to Dr. Henry Jekyll’s office, to which he basically dumps him on the doorstep and leaves. As Jekyll practically collects scientists, and as they already have a necromancer in the Society, Jekyll welcomes Cederic with open arms and shows him around, unaware how Cederic... is an actual mad scientist, not just using that word as a moniker.

Cederic quickly becomes friends with Sinnett and Luckett, all three of them having a knack to blow things up and play with fire. Cederic also loves to harass Tanis, the local necromancer, as he loves that they practically study the same thing and did you know this and that and wouldn’t it be cool to blow up a corpse? You know Moreau might actually have been onto something with the animals and yadeyadeyada-- Tanis does not like Cederic. Cederic thinks that they are best friends.

Cederic joins the Society sometime before the events of TGS, however, immediately jumps all over both Jasper and Frankenstein like a yappy dog excited to have new friends. He is absolutely in love with Frankenstein, much like everyone else, but quickly has a change of heart as he feels she is a wimp, because he could do this and that so much better and why would you do x y and z when you could have done a b c instead. He has a massive ‘R.I.P to them but I’m different’ complex and feels like Frankenstein can’t own up to her work and her legendary image like she should. He thinks he can one-up her, and basically tries to snatch her stuff and studies when she isn’t looking. Creature would very much like to bonk him over the head with a frying pan.

Cederic also has a pet ghost cat-- or more or less spirit cat as she has never actually been alive-- that he has had since he was a baby. He named her Adelaide-Antoinette because he is french and extra like that, and the two of them are actually inseparable, as Adelaide is connected to Cederic through a bunch of magical hijinx. Adelaide can talk to Cederic, however, no one else can hear or see her, making most people think that Cederic is genuinely insane as he is not afraid to walk around talking to himself. The only one who knows about Adelaide is Maijabi, who saw her in one of his ghost mirrors one time, but he thinks its fun to see the other Lodgers thinking that Cederic is insane, so he doesn’t say anything.

Random Trivia: Cederic is originally my DND character, played in a specific type of campaign called Scion. It takes place in the real life world, and our campaign is set during the 1960′s if WW2 had never ended. Cederic and Cassandra were originally forced to flee by the outbreak of the war and the invasions of France. Scion is also based on mythologies, were the player characters (the Scions) are children of the ancient gods. Cassandra and Cederic are children of the egyptian god Bastet, ergo, the ghost cats.

Tags: #Banshees Cederic

Art of Cederic / Original Info dump on Lodger!Cederic

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——————Animals——————

Adelaide-Antoinette

Adelaide-Antoinette is a spirit and companion cat connected to Cederic. She has been by Cederic’s side for as long as he can remember and her, her sass, and her snobbishness were many of the core influences that shaped Cederic into the person he was before his mental breakdown he is today.

Adelaide is a Birman and lives up to the snobbish reputations of such breeds. When she is particularly feisty, she likes to sit on top of Cederic’s head and use him as her steed, and also loves to call him a peasant. She is also very territorial, and very protective of Cederic too. She is basically the epitome of “No one is allowed to bully him but me”. She is also very vocal and loves to have Cederic seem like he is talking to himself. Cederic has a knack to recite Hamlet and other Shakespeare plays to her, and while it’s fun for him, Adelaide wish she could bite his tongue off after the 10th recitation. After so many years, the recites might be up in the thousands.

Adelaide also did not like all the other creatures in the Society immediately, but quickly realized that it was either them or Cederic forever, to which she quickly began to force herself to warm up to them. Her favourite is Jasper’s unicorn, who most likely share her snobbishness, but a close second is Zosi and Griffin’s cat. When she is particularly mad at Cederic, as he tends to neglect her a little once he gets caught up in his work, she likes to hang around Maijabi as he is the only other living person who can see her. Cederic also uses her to spy on the others sometimes, as she can go through walls and can’t be seen.

Tags: -

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        --The O’Jekylls--

——————Humans——————

Collin O’Jekyll

Collin O’Jekyll is Henry Jekyll’s “paternal uncle” and also his make-shift father. Collin and Henry loved each other from day one and the two of them often spend most of their free time in the pastures with Collin’s horses. Collin is an artist, who dabbles in both writing and art, but mainly breeds and sells horses for income, despite not really needing it due to his inheritance. He has always been supportive of Henry’s scientific interests and was the one to take him out to all of the scientific plays that Henry watched as a child, as his parents were less than supportive of the boy’s interests.  While mainly breeding and raising horses, Collin also buys and takes care of every animal he can get his hands on. One of his oldest pets is a male calico Maine Coon named Paddington, who got dumped by his breeder for being male. All of Collin’s animals seem to hate everyone but him, and of course, Henry. Collin also bred and gifted Henry his own horse once he turned 15; a dapple grey Clydesdale named Mayhem, named after her fiery temper. Much like Paddington, she hates everyone but her owner.

Random Trivia: Collin has a very weak immune system and therefore always wears a scarf, no matter the season or weather. He also knows how to sword fight and taught Henry a few tricks before he left Scotland. He is mainly a very cheerful and optimistic guy but won’t hesitate to throw hands if you try to hurt those he loves.

Tags: #Banshees Collin, #Collin O’Jekyll

Art of Collin / Art of Collin and Paddington

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Douglas O’Jekyll

Douglas O’Jekyll is Henry’s “biological” father and Collin’s older brother, but dislikes his role as both father and brother. He is a policeman and known for his ruthlessness and hatred for those he deems have done wrong, and he also has a massive superiority complex. He has always disliked Collin greatly and the two of them have always had a rivalry between them, however, that rivalry got to it’s boiling point when Douglas and Collin were in an accident as kids, mainly caused by Collin unintentionally during a riding trip in the Highlands, which made Douglas earn some of his scars and bred the resentment between the two of them even more. Douglas has always been disapproving of Henry’s... Well, he has always been majorly disapproving with anything that comes to Henry. He dislikes Henry’s love for his uncle, his scientific interests, Henry’s friends, his wish to become a doctor... Douglas dislikes pretty much everything with Henry, which might have its grounds in Henry looking like and taking after a lot from his uncle. As Henry grows older, Douglas’ dislike for both him and Collin grows stronger, and Douglas starts getting outspoken of his hatred for Henry. He also gets physical every once in a while, which was one of the reasons for why Henry left Scotland completely despite Collin doing his best to protect him.

Random Trivia: His scars are either from the Accident, from his work as a policeman and also from many of Collin’s animals. He has a family pedant made out of emerald with a ‘J’ for Jekyll in it, as he is the first born and the heir of the family. He has always felt like Collin was the favourite with everything, both by their parents and by the fact that Douglas’ own son and wife likes Collin more than him, which just bred his resentment for his younger brother even more.

Tags: #Banshees Douglas, #Douglas O’Jekyll.

Digital art of Douglas / Traditional art of Douglas

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Abigail O’Jekyll (Née O’Haggins)

Abigail is Henry’s mother and Douglas’ wife. She comes from a long line of Scottish non-aristocratic nobles and she is the oldest out of six sisters, making her the main heir of the O’Haggins as she has no brothers. In her youth, she was very sought after by many bachelors, and met the O’Jekyll brothers during a ball hosted by her parents. She immediately took a liking to Collin and during the dances, they fell quite in love. However, as the first born, she was forced to marry Douglas instead due to pressuring from her parents who deemed Douglas more worthy than Collin, but she and Collin continued their relationship in secret. Both Douglas and Abigail knows that neither really loves the other all that much but they play their parts due to societal expectations, even if that doesn’t make Douglas any happier when the suspicion of Abigail’s and Collin’s relationships arise. Abigail is, too, not very supportive of Henry’s scientific interests due to all of its stigma and consequences that it can bear, not to mention that she is quite afraid of Douglas’ reactions to Henry’s continuous love for science, but she allows Henry to pursue non-harmful studies in secret to keep him happy, as his happiness is the most important thing for her. She does her best to be a good mother and succeeds in that, although everyone has their bad moments. Random Trivia: While Henry looks more like Douglas and Collin, Hyde takes after Abigail’s side of the family. She wears a locket with an ‘A’ on it with a picture of Collin and Henry inside, which needs a lock to be opened (mostly to keep Douglas from discovering the photo). While she is indifferent to most animals, she loves cats (that are well behaved, which rules out all of Collin’s cats) and she likes horses, although she will never, ever ride one ever again after she fell into a hay bail when Collin tried to get her to ride one of his horses. Tags: #Banshees Abigail, #Abigail O’Haggins.  Old Art of Abigail / Updated Art of Abigail

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——————Animals——————

Paddington

Paddington is one of Collin’s most beloved cats. He is a male, calico coated Maine Coon that got dumped by his breeder for being a male calico (therefore, sterile). He lived in the streets for a while until Collin found and adopted him, to which Paddington immediately became a little diva who hates everyone but Collin and Henry. He is the cause of some of Douglas’ scars and have torn more than one of Abigail’s dresses, but is as good as gold to Collin and Henry.

Tags: #Banshees Paddington

Art of Collin and Paddington / Written description of Paddington

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Mayhem

Mayhem is Henry’s own horse that Collin bred and helped Henry to raise. She is a dapple grey Clydesdale named after her fiery temper and knack for chaos, much like most animals that Collin has been responsible for. She is quite spoiled but very well behaved when needed to be, and she often thinks that she is the mother of those she likes, such as Henry, Paddington, Zosi and Collin. Once Henry left Scotland, she was one of the few things he took with him, and he still owns her to this day; allowing her to live her best, destruction-bringing life in London, striking terror in every stable boy in the entire city.

Tags: #Banshees Mayhem.

Written description of Mayhem