#Hydra Solider

[urdepressedslut]

Tears of an Angel ❝part two❞

♡ Pairing: The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Unbeknownst to you, lots of time has passed and Bucky still hasn’t come back. You begin to wonder if he was ever real in the first place. There’s someone new. The Soldat— who is he?

♡ Warnings: HEAVY ANGST, some fluff, hydra, bucky’s trauma, torture, needles, abuse, hints to sexual assault

part one ✧ main masterlist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | 18+

You wondered how many times you could count the amount of stones on the walls before a guard approached your cell again— dragging you into the horrific room. The room that only held vile memories— ones that had you shuddering.

Ever since you had been left alone again— ever since Bucky was gone— you had lost track of time completely. Everyday blurring into one another, there wasn’t a pause in time. Every morning leaked into the night without recognition. It was disorienting and made you feel out of touch.

You rarely talked— the only sound of your screams ever escaping your lips. You would go so many days without uttering a sound— the slightest talking ached your throat. Your voice hoarse at the end of the day, with only six words leaving your lips.

You could hear the manic laughter as the guards teased you about being mute. Cackling sinisterly at the idea that they had broken you. In a way they had.

You weren’t sure why you were still here, and what your purpose was. You were sure you had an idea one time in your life— but with how things are now. You remember nothing, know nothing— are nothing. Well, you remember nothing but him.

Even after all this time, you still pathetically clung to Bucky. Hoping in your sick and demented mind that he’d come back for you one day— that he’d remember you just as you had him. But as the days melted into the other, you weren’t sure if that would ever be the case. But what harm would it bring you to hold onto the tiny hope.

The door unlocking to your cell had you jumping in surprise, having been lost in your head it spooked you. But otherwise, you sat still— even if the pain didn’t even start, you wished for it to end already.

You heard the door open completely and the sound of two footsteps enter.

“Soldat— take her to Room C.” One of the guards instructed, and you wanted to furrow your brows at the name.

Soldat?

“да сэр (yes sir).” A thick russian accent answered, and you risked a glance up.

You were disappointed to meet a half covered face, forehead curtained by thick brunette locks. It was definitely a man considering how deep the voice was. His lower half was muzzled— like a dog. But the look was certainly intimidating.

The Soldat grabbed your arm harshly, yanking you up— not giving you a second to steady yourself. You whined, the bruise on your collarbone shifting from the movement.

Ignoring your sounds, he dragged you out of your cell and down the hall towards the room of nightmares. You weren’t sure how much more pain you could take— you wish the darkness would just consume you already.

The guard had disappeared by now, leaving you and the Soldat alone. You weren’t sure if you should celebrate or not. The guards were harsh— mean. The Soldat so far has been aggressive— but you guessed that was nothing new.

“Please— don’t!” You whimpered when you could see the door to the room ahead.

You felt eyes on you, and you glanced to the side— your glossy eyes meeting with his dull ones. His stare gave you goosebumps, the fury hidden behind his eyes. Towards you? You weren’t sure— if so, why?

He didn’t respond, snapping his focus back ahead of him. Pulling you more aggressively towards the doorway. You could smell the room from here— even many steps away. You felt sick to your stomach, knowing what was to come.

“I’ll do anything, please! Don’t take me in there!” You cried quietly, as you tried to pull away from him— your feet attempting to plant you in your spot.

The Soldat whipped his muzzled face to you, his eyes wide with anger and something else. He wastes no time in trying to come up with a response— instead scooping you into his arms.

You gasped at the sudden movement, and didn’t try to wiggle out of his hold— as he was much stronger than you. You crying and walking to the room was already draining you of all your energy. With your weeks spent sitting in your cell— the walk from your cell to your room was tiring.

You continued to cry quietly, and noticed how close you were to him. He smelled of sweat and gunpowder— but also a familiar musk. A particular gust of the scent wafted into your face. It had you stopping your cries, looking up at him. At the same time he glanced down.

You blamed it on your delirious state— but you swore you saw his eyes.

Bucky.

Your mind wandered to the memories of his face through the gap. The way he held onto your hand— the feeling of comfort in this hell. The way you believed he was going to save you. Fuck— he couldn’t even save himself. You hated him, but you missed him more.

All too soon, the flashes of memories faded away into the abyss that was your mind. Coming back to reality, you felt the Soldat lower you onto the steel table. You immediately panicked, thrashing your limbs about.

“No! Please please!” You begged, grabbing his wrist in a tight grip. “Don’t leave me here!”

You weren’t sure why you begged this man for help when he was the one who brought you here. Meanwhile, the Soldat was confused. Your begging was sparking something inside of him. Something foreign yet familiar— it made him uncomfortable.

You watched as the Soldat grabbed your wrist— to the hand that held onto him tightly. He squeezed painfully, prying your hand off him. With a cry you had released him— your wrist throbbing from his hold.

He escaped your hold, turning to the right to exit the room— and that’s when you saw it. The sickly familiar flash of silver— his metal arm.

It’s Bucky… it has to be. Bucky.

Your cries went silent, your body going into shock that Bucky was so close. He was standing in front of you, in the flesh. He had held you— touched you. You were right when you had seen his eyes— you knew it was his eyes. The familiar smell. The familiarity that was his whole aura. He was here… so why was he treating you like a prisoner?

“Bucky?” You tried, desperate for his comfort as you had back in your cell.

He didn’t budge, simply continuing to walk out of the room. Leaving you alone in the torturous space. Your heart broke at him ignoring you— if he had heard you.

You wanted to call out again, but was interrupted by the door slamming shut. It was Bucky— he was here. You just needed to know what happened to him. Why he was acting like he didn’t know you.

You were left in shock, unaware of the scrawny doctors entering the room. You were stuck in a state of confusion— but also knowing just what was going on.

You didn’t want to believe it, he wouldn’t. Hydra wouldn’t. Yeah right.

A prick into your arm had you jumping, whipping your wide eyes to the doctors.

“Sleep now— you’ll wake soon.” The nasal voice whispered to you.

You weren’t sure if the fact that you’d be unconscious during your torture would be worse— not knowing what body part they’d be prodding. A part of you knew this was a true gift— not being able to feel and experience the pain. You’d be violated, yes. But you’d escape the agony— and that’s all you cared about.

The room spun for a little bit, until everything faded into darkness. You could only hope that it was the permanent darkness you’d been praying for— but you were never that lucky.

~

The sounds of metal clinking together had you jolting in your sleep hazed mind, the fog heavy in your brain. Your limbs felt heavy, like someone had tied weights onto your arms and legs. Your body was sore, even the slightest movement uncomfortable.

The metal clinking had you jumping again, and it was the sound of shoes shuffling against the floor that made you realize that you weren’t alone. Forcing your eyelids to lift, you could only see a blurry silhouette of someone standing over you.

You groaned in pain, as your body shook violently in agony.

What had they done to you?

The thought of not knowing had your skin crawling, the same feeling of wanting to rip your flesh off— coming back full force.

The longer you kept your eyes open, the blurriness started to clear, and soon you were staring into the eyes of him. Bucky.

But was it really him? You had assumed it was a him because of the metal arm— as no one else had one in this facility. Or so you knew of. But you still had that sliver of unknowing with him wearing the mask

His gaze was intense, his eyes full of a certain fury— but it wasn't towards you. His eyebrows were almost stuck in a furrowed manner, like he was always disturbed. He didn't shy away from your stare, if anything he held your gaze in a pleading manner— almost like he wanted you to see something hidden behind the striking blue.

"Bu—" You attempted but broke out into a cough, caused by the dryness in your throat, " Bucky... it's you."

His blues darted down to your mouth, watching the words slip past your lips. His eyes burned with confusion, like the simple spoken words were so confusing.

To you, it wasn't confusing. To him— he couldn't quite understand this nagging feeling that threatened to split his brain apart.

Who was Bucky? He thought.

It was a mixture of fear of the unknown feeling, but with that came an odd wave of comfort. He didn't understand why a prisoner like you would bring him anything of comfort.

You watched the war enrage in his mind, and you could almost hear the internal battle happening. His eyes flashed with pain, his eyes darting from your eyes to your lips frantically.

"Bucky, please stop acting like you don't remember me— I'm scared! Please!" You begged, forgetting your condition. You'd be nothing but dead weight with your limp body, as you were unable to sit up by yourself.

His eyes grew practically red with anger, and turned away towards the cell door. His metal arm whirred by his side, his flesh hand twitching in frustration. You felt the fear fill your body as he turned away, his body facing the door— you didn't want him to leave you.

"Don't leave... please." You whispered, your voice breaking at the end.

He slowly turned his body to face you, the desperation in your voice sparking something yet again within him. He hated it but clung to it at the same time. Without controlling himself, he had kneeled in front of you. Without uttering a word— he stared. Taking in every detail etched into your face. Your skin, the lines, the indents— everything that he was sure he'd forget by the next mission.

He found himself memorizing your features, and he wasn't sure why. He was shocked to find your features familiar— the nagging feeling coming full force. Knocking the air from his lungs as he struggled to breathe through the muzzle.

"Thank you." You whispered, your eyelids feeling heavy again and you were afraid to shut them— worried he'd be gone the next time you open them.

He didn't say anything back as he just stared at you with a longing gaze— his breathing heavy and fanning through the muzzle.

You wanted to ask him why he was here with you in your cell, seeing as there was no point. But instead, you found yourself lifting your frail hand— hovering your fingertips above the mask.

He instinctively flinched away, his head jolting back from your reach. You paused your hand in mid air— staring at him with glossy eyes. Watching him cower away from your touch, the way his eyes held fear. The blue in his eyes stormy— haunted.

"It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you— don't think I could if I tried." You tried to joke through the tightness in your throat.

His eyes widened slightly at your words, and you quickly clarified.

"But I won't hurt you— I won't even try." You promised to him, holding his eyes with such genuineness it had shocked him.

He sucked in a quiet breath, easing his head back to your hand. You kept your hand still, waiting patiently as he leaned into your fingertips— deepening his push until your entire hand palmed his muzzled face.

As he waited for the pain to come from your touch— he found the pain had never come. He was leaned against you and he felt comforted. Your touch was soft, and even through the muzzle he could feel the warmth coming from your clammy hand.

"See... I'm not hurting you." You whispered weakly, your body curling inwards— throbbing with a wave of pain.

The brunette's eyes widened in panic, darting all over your body— frantically searching your being for the cause of your pain.

You recovered quickly, the pain passing as fast as it had arrived. Now it had left you weak and sluggish— the tensing of your muscles tiring your already frail body. You met his worried eyes again, the sight refreshing— to know he had a soul after all. His empty behavior was worrying you for the longest time— unsure if he was even your Bucky still.

"M'fine... just tired." You mumbled, unsure if he could even understand you— but you were too tired to care.

Your eyes shut only for a few seconds, and thats when you heard the sound of buckles unfastening. The sound had you cracking your eyes back open, a gasp of surprise escaping your lips at the sight of his fully exposed face. He had taken off the muzzle.

It was your Bucky.

Your dry and cracked lips broke into a smile, one that would never reach your eyes. Despite the hollow look he sported, and the way he didn't even look like himself in little glimpses— you were happy to see him. Enjoying the quiet moment— the peace that came with his company. It all came flooding back into this cell as it did in the last one. The gap in the wall that had you two connecting— clinging to each other.

A sharp inhale had you snapping from your daydream, your eyes focusing back on his face. His blues were shining with unshed tears— almost like he was unable to let them fall. He crawled closer to your crumpled form on the bench in the cell— his hands resting near your body, but just enough where his knuckles could brush against you.

His lip quivered in frustration, needing to say so much— but knowing he didn't have enough time.

"It's okay... I've got you." You mirrored from the very first time he had comforted you through the gap.

His breathing slowed and he looked like he had instantly relaxed— letting his guard just slightly. But with that, came the flood of tears that ached to be freed. The emotions he had muted, painfully burning from him. It was too much and not enough at the same time.

He sobbed, leaning his forehead down to your arm. Bowing before you in a way— hiding his face away by smushing into you.

You just sat still, keeping your arms by your side— unsure if your affection would be welcomed. His cries broke your heart— his whimpers making your stomach knot up. You were broken beyond repair, but if you could you'd take away all his pain.

Both of you were stuck— trapped in what felt like an enteral hell. There was no end to the tortuous tunnel and you both knew that.

At least with each other— you wouldn't suffer alone.

A/N: sorry if there is spelling errors, i did a quick proof read once but it was awhile ago🤍

If you want to be added

TAGLIST: @ghostofwinter @silverfire13 @goldylions @potatothots @billy-reads @hanihoney88 @skittle479 @hereticdance @mentalidrainedfangirl @natashassandwich @marvelogic @soul-system @alinasmcu @almosttoopizza @lilbabygirll @sebastiansstanswhore @yujyujj @jasminocano

[stucky-headcanon-bot]

💙

[imaginesbymonika]

COMING UP NEXT….

LOML- loss of my life

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Plot: You knew him at a time when he didn’t, and now he is looking for you…

Warnings: depiction of violence, angst, mentions of (perhaps) death, angst, fluff at the end (maybe)

[buckyshenley16]

Idk why but I’m dying to read something where Bucky and reader have an affair with eachother, I just need that kind of angst in my life. Can anyone recommend anything?

[fallingforfictionalmen]

“steve would be stupid enough to do the same for me” yeah but while bucky stood down when steve stood up for him, hydrastomper tried to kill bucky

“steve would be stupid enough to do the same for me” and steve actively leaves him for a girl he kissed once

“steve would be stupid enough to do the same for me” but he doesn’t love you enough and that’s the difference between steve and bucky

[emmis15]

Bucky Barnes Birthday In The Country

―I never imagined seeing the Winter Soldier, the greatest and deadliest assassin of the last 50 years, wearing a plastic crown at a children's party― I heard a sweet and amused voice behind me.

I was trying to pour myself more vodka juice from the kitchen and taking the opportunity to catch some fresh air outside the circle of Avengers and parents I didn't know, besides small children running around everywhere.

―Neither did I, this wasn't my original plan for my day off― I replied, looking at her with a small smile as I leaned against the sink.

Cass had her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the door frame, a smile on her face and a glass in her hands.

―I didn't tell you before, but thank you for coming. Lila was very happy to have you here― she said, approaching me slowly with a slight smile.

I sighed with a smile on my face as I listened to her. She had dragged me to a birthday party for Barnes' daughter at the farm, and instead of taking the opportunity to stay alone in the complex reading or listening to quiet music without having to listen to people passing by or arguing, I had knelt before Cass, and now I was at Clint's farm lifting children with my metal arm, wearing a plastic crown on my head.

―I'm sure she was― I sighed, looking down at my feet.

She placed her glass next to mine, and her hands tangled behind my neck with a slight smile. The scent of the perfume I liked was very close to me, almost like a mist on my face, enjoying her smile and the shine of her lips that had nagged me so much to drive slowly below the speed limit.

―Thank you, really. I promise I'll make it up to you― she whispered against my lips, looking into my eyes.

―It's not necessary. I'm just tired and needed a breather― I said, my hands reaching for her waist, feeling her skin goosebumps as she felt my cold metal arm.

―¿Do you want me to leave you alone?― she asked, uncertainty in her eyes.

―No, I never want to be alone if I can be with you for a moment. I just want to be here for a few minutes― I said, looking at her with a slight smile before giving her a small kiss.

She stayed looking at me with a small smile, and I don't know what she was looking at, but I really believe I had the best view. The sunset light hit her face through the window of the house, giving her such a homely and tranquil view that the idea of going somewhere just the two of us reappeared in my mind.

Having a house and living hidden from life, just the two of us quietly leaving behind the Avengers, Hydra, superheroes, or the society on our shoulders, staying in the quietest place in the world alone with our house.

―I would like to have something like that― I whispered, looking into her eyes while playing with her hair.

―¿A children's party or more time together?― she asked, confused.

―A house far from everyone and everything, just the two of us, letting ourselves be carried away by time.

―It would be nice to have some alone moments on a farm and the American dream.

She gave me a small smile, joining her left hand with my metal hand as she reached for a jug of juice since she couldn't drink alcohol due to medication.

―Not just a moment, a lifetime, in secret, and sometimes having missions, but instead of staying in the complex waiting for the next mission or training useless people to waste time, both of us sharing hobbies together without hiding― my flesh hand touched her chin to make her look into my eyes.

―We can't even let my father see us less than 40 meters apart, and you want me to pack my things and go to a house in the countryside? It's very nice, Buck, really, it sounds like something we could really live someday, but it's very difficult. I need medical attention all the time, and I'm always with my father― she said with a sad face, and I looked at the floor.

I let go of her chin to touch the star on her chest. I could see the faint red light coming from inside her chest, her body full of cables and constantly receiving medical attention and medication. It was a reality for her that even though we both wanted to show ourselves, we couldn't, and it would be very unfair, in addition to the increased life risks for her if we separated so much from the complex.

And then there was her father, Tony hated me, and although indirectly Cass tried to make him stop hating me, she only managed to make his sarcastic comments about my past in Hydra, giving me nicknames for my arms, and trying to leave the subject behind or hidden under the rug, but not much more. If he were to find out that I am with his daughter, the least he would do would be to banish me from the Avengers and the complex.

―¿Why is everything with us so difficult?

―Because it shows how strong we are― she touched my chin with the tips of her fingers. ―But I'm aware that the whole situation surrounding us sucks.

―Just a place where we both can be, where we can see each other and just be without the fear on our shoulders.

―We can create moments, we can do things to have a normal life within the parameters, but the idea of a house in the countryside or living alone together is very unlikely― she gave me a sad and melancholic smile, and it hurt my soul to know that as long as we were together, we would live in the shackles of Hydra, my past, and her father.

―I love you― I whispered as I carefully ran my fingers through her hair, looking down at her.

―I love you too― she whispered back with a smile, showing her teeth.

We heard the sound of a conversation nearby, so we quickly separated, me leaning against the countertop and her looking into the fridge with feigned doubt.

―¿What were you doing? Your father is looking for you― Lauren's voice broke the awkward silence.

She looked at us for a moment with a raised eyebrow before walking over to Cass and taking out the birthday cake.

―Tell him I'm coming now― she said tiredly, sighing.

―¿What were you doing?― Lauren asked.

―I was looking for something that doesn't have alcohol but also doesn't have too much sugar. Your husband said there was only orange juice in the fridge― she poured some of the orange liquid.

―¿And your sergeant?

―He needed some time away from sticky hands and loud songs― she sighed, looking at the floor.

She looked at us with a raised eyebrow before tilting her head, ready to leave.

―I don't need you to answer because you'll deny it, especially you, Cassady, but I know you two are up to something, I see it and feel it in the air, but the situation is difficult from what Clint told me, so I won't say anything, and you better both be there for the family photo― she sounded stern as she walked away with the white cake box.

We stayed silent without looking at each other before hearing her laugh.

―¿You wanted a normal couple life? There you have Lauren laughing at us and mocking because we can't hide anything― she said with a smile as she started walking back outside.

[thinkingaboutlifefornow]

The brave little Ghost

Chapter 1

Bucky x reader

Warnings - swearing

(( so this is the first ever time I’ve written anything, I read fan fiction for over 14years. And this as been in my head for a while and I wanted to put it down properly. Nobody may read this apart from me, but if someone is reading this, I hope you enjoy it ))

…………………………

You struggled against unseen bodies. Black hood over your head so you couldn’t see and voices were muffled.

You’d been out for a run when a black unremarkable car pulled up next you, with your headphones in you hadn’t even noticed by the time the men had jumped out, threw the hood over your head, knocked you out and bundled you into the car.

Now you’re being dragged down some sort of corridor, too quickly for you to even try to use your legs to walk. It was cold. A sports bra and leggings are not the sort of clothes you wanted to be wearing right now, but you didn’t think you’d end up being kidnapped. For fuck sake you’re a Stark.

Being thrown down onto the chair the hood was torn off. The guards were locking you in place with cuffs around your wrists and legs.

“I hate to tell you but you’ve kidnapped the wrong fucking person” you spat angry aimed at all those in the room.

“Oh no Miss Stark, you’re just who we needed” a middle aged man said capturing your attention, you look his direction. You recognise him, he was definitely a part of S.H.E.I.L.D, but with your dad never wanting you to become apart of that world fully you didn’t know him well.

“I know you” you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Well,” he paused “not for long” he said grinning point at the machine above you. You follow his gaze. A halo of metal above you start to come down and cover part of your face, another part covering your arms.

Your last thought before the shock entered your body… they’ll find me, they’ll find me.

…………

“Lilac” the word floated through your head

“Damsel” another bringing you back to the light

“Seventeen” you open your eyes slightly, the bright light hurt, head fuzzy.

“Ghost” your eyes automatic open and alert.

“What is your name?” The middle age man asked

“Phantom” you replied, almost robotically.

“Who are you?” He asked

“HYDRA property” you spoke, it was like you had rehearsed and knew every line off the page you hadn’t read.

“Good” he gleamed, “our project pet works, they won’t know what hit them” he said turning to the others in the room. You hadn’t noticed till now, but there were at least 10 soldiers in the room. Carrying rifles.

“Training start tomorrow, take her to the cell” his voice still showing the happiness spoken before.

Without thinking you were already up and walking, the soldiers walk in pairs with four in-front of you and four behind. Arriving at your cell, which somehow felt like home, you were locked inside. Single bed to the right hand side of the room, you sat on it waiting for your next instruction. Your clothes, somehow you knew they were different. But different from what? Hadn’t you always worn these leather pants and black shirt. But you can’t remember anything since before opening your eyes.

You tried to remember anything from before that moment. It made your head hurt. Who am I?

…..

“давай, маленькое привидение” Come on little ghost, he spoke flipping his knife grinning at you.

You enjoyed training, because it meant you got to spend time with The winter solider. He seemed to connect to you, and it brought him calmness. This meant the leaders used you to get him to do what they wanted. You didn’t understand.

“почему бы тебе не приехать сюда зимой” why don’t you come here winter, you grinned back at him. “I’ll have that knife in no time” you laughed.

He walked at you almost charging, you moved too quickly to the side. Grabbing his metal arm, you flung yourself onto his back. Thighs wrapped around his neck, you squeezed as tight as you could. He was struggling to breathe, he tapped your thigh with his warm flesh hand. A signal to stop.

“No, that’s not how it works Winter.” No emotion in your voice. “Give me this knife”

He was going blue, but he didn’t want to give up. He purposefully throw hisself down on to his back, you were winded slightly. Your thighs went loose for a second, and an image flashed through mind as you hit your head… you were lead down on a sofa, laughing, legs resting over a man…. before your training kicked in again and your thighs squeezed again.

The knife was thrown from his hand up to you on the ground, and the moment you grabbed it with your hand your thighs released.

He coughed and splutter as he raised from between your legs, gaining his composer.

“ты в порядке?” Are you okay?, you whisper so the guards outside don’t hear.

“I’m fine Little Ghost” he said with a sigh “you’re ready for your first mission”

He didn’t seem happy about that, but you couldn’t understand why. This is what your trained for, so that you could help HYDRA with their better world they were building.

[toadstoolwriting]

Star Crossed- Chapter One

Warnings: google translated russian, injury, anxiety but like low key, awkward reader.

Word count: 1.5 k

Series Masterlist

Prologue

Chapter Two

______________________________________________________________

The final patrons of the diner were wrapping up their dinner. An old couple sat in the back booth, smiles adored both of their faces. Wrinkles showed their age, but their eyes showed their love for one another. They were clearly made for each other. You watched them with a smile from behind the counter as you prepared silverware for the morning crew.

Mr and Mrs Peterson have been regulars at the diner for many years, even before you started working there. The pair were scented perfectly, both complimenting the other scent. It was a cliche love story, alpha and omega meeting in high school, knowing that this was their person, THE person meant for them. Something you hoped for yourself someday.

The door chimed, bringing you out of your thoughts. You smiled and waved them goodbye before looking at the clock. 9:05 P.M. They stayed a few minutes past closing, not that you mind. Seeing them made you feel so hopeful for your future. You quickly wiped down their table and gathered the plates, taking them to the back of house to wash. The doors swung behind you, greeting you with a squeak. The chef had already left for the night. You couldn't blame him. It was Friday night, after all.

Being in the diner alone made you feel on edge, and the hairs on your arms raised. You couldn't remember if you had locked the front door when the Petersons left. You peek through the entrance to the front. Eyeing the lock, you quickly move to correct the issue. Once the door is secure, you take a deep breath to calm your nerves. Usually, you wouldn't feel so nervous. You had no idea why your heart was thundering in your chest. A thud in the office made your head snap in its direction. You were reasonably sure Johnathan wouldn't be in today. He had his kid's baseball tournament. Taking hesitant steps, you moved towards the office. Why John even needed an office, you had no idea.

"John?" your voice shook; clearing your throat, you tried again more confidently, "John?!" You were at the door with no answer. Putting your ear up to it, you tried to listen for movement. Nothing. At this point, you were done with this overly spooky night, and you needed to get into the office to get the keys for the entrance anyway. One more deep breath just in case before you pushed open the door.

The first thing that hit you was the scent of an alpha, an extremely panicked one at that. A sharp lemon scent pierced your nose. You were struggling to breathe. The smell made you need to comfort him and figure out what was wrong. This was so overwhelming you wondered if it was just because of how fearful he had been or if it was something else entirely. You took several more moments to calm your breathing before returning to the doorframe overlooking the office. You would be of no help if your scent was just as intense.

Your eyes went over the room, the light above you barely illuminating the space. The window was broken, the drawers of the desk and cabinets opened, and papers had fallen around the man on the floor. Almost instinctually, you moved to where he was lying. He was breathing. Thank god. Your eyes moved down his torso. He was muscular, and a skin-tight suit in all black hugged his body. Showing it off that much more. One side of the top he was wearing had no sleeve, showing off a shining metal arm with a red star on where the deltoid would be. The arm definitely looked high-tech. The plates of it blended seamlessly with the rest. You've never seen anything like it.

You tore your gaze away from the fascinating arm. Scanning the rest of the man's body for a reason as to why he might be passed out in your boss's office. Though the black clothing wasn't helping, you noticed what seemed to be a gunshot wound to his flesh arm. There was gauze haphazardly wrapped around his waist. But it certainly wasn't put on tight enough to help anything. Your hands graze over a red spot on the gauze. He was definitely still bleeding. And didn't know a thing about first aid.

Willing yourself to think, you tried to figure out what you could do. You didn't want this man to die. But you didn't know him. And he has a bullet wound on his arm and stomach. Clearly, someone was trying to kill him or, at the very least, incapacitate him. He could be a criminal. He did break into the office. That was very evident by the broken window and papers everywhere. Maybe he was looking for something. You looked around one last time, your eyes finding the red first aid kit. He couldn't have possibly broken into the office for a first aid kit.

This was so much for you to deal with. Something about this alpha didn't seem like he was, for lack of a better phrase, a bad guy. But why else would he be here? Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you weighed your options. Guilt settled in your chest, weighing you down at even the thought of leaving him alone. You decided to trust your gut, which might have been a terrible idea, but only time would tell. Getting up from his side, you walk over to the first aid kit. You placed it on the desk before getting out the gauze and turning to face him again.

His eyes were blue, and he was staring right at you. It was interesting how he didn't make a single noise when he got up. Or when he walked over to you. He was right there. If it wasn't for the mask on his face, you would probably feel his breath on you. He was taller than you by a lot. Typically, when an alpha was this close, you would feel threatened. But you didn't. All you felt was concern. He was swaying enough to need to put his hands on the desk to steady himself. Effectively caging you in. Taking a deep breath, the same lemon filled your lungs. He was scared again, but it didn't seem like the fear was of you. This was good. You could work with this.

"Hi… umm." Something about his smell drew you in. You wished it wasn't such a distraction and forced yourself to continue. "I need to treat your wounds." You raised the gauze as if proving your point.

He did nothing. He was looking at you with those blue eyes. Seriously, what was it with this guy? Everything about him made you feel like this was where you were meant to be. Considering what was happening, you began to think you were crazy. His face showed no emotion or inkling about what he was thinking. You waited a few moments to see if he would do anything, but he just stayed.

Hoping it was alright, you began moving to escape his arms. He stayed still but followed you with his head. Once you knelt and started wrapping gauze to the primary injury on his stomach, he moved to help you. Guiding your hands around his torso, taking the gauze when you couldn't reach all the way around him. Satisfied with your work, you moved to his shoulder, wrapping gauze tightly around that injury as well.

Looking up at him, you found that he was also looking at you. He has done that a lot so far. "You need to go to the hospital," you gave a small smile, trying to come off as nonthreatening as possible. It was probably a weird thing to do in this situation. However, what you said seemed to have put him out of his trance because he quickly shook his head.

He brought up his metal hand to remove the mask covering the bottom half of his face. "Нет"

"What?" You didn't think you caught on to the word he said.

"Нет, мы не поедем в больницу." He said it matter-of-factly, even though you had no idea what he was saying.

"You need to go to the hospital. You're severely injured. I found you on the floor." You stressed the words hospital and injured, hoping he would understand. But he turned around and took a step before swaying and slamming his hand on the desk to steady himself.

"Fine then, have it your way. At least let me help you." You didn't know why you couldn't leave him alone. At this point, you wished you could because no sane person would do what you were about to do. You took a step towards him, looking into his eyes. You moved to have his arm around your shoulder and yours around his torso. "Okay?" Looking up at him for confirmation.

He nodded. It was barely there, but this close to him, you could tell it had happened. With each step towards the front, you could tell that he was struggling. You also noticed that he felt very light. Considering his build, you suspected he was keeping most of his weight off you. You were grateful for that as you didn't think you could support him completely, but you hoped you were doing enough.

______________________________________________________________

A/N: Hi! I had fun writing this actually. I might mention the omegaverse dynamics more than I originally thought but it still won't be the main focus. Also I intentionally didn't re-translate the russian because the reader doesn't know it. (if you do, no you don't)

Also constructive criticism is welcome just be nice my heart can only take so much.

No beta we die like men

See you in the next one - Phrog

[catfindr]

[thefandomthings]

Escape Pt. 1

Pairing: The Winter Soldier x f! Reader

Warnings: Slightly suggestive? Mentions of torture & surgery, anxiety

Notes: I wrote this so long ago, sorry if it's bad and cringey

Since your were born your were a experiment for HYDRA, thats why they created you in the first place. They killed your mother and father after they had you, only leaving you in the hands of Alexander Pierce. When you were born they damaged your vocal cords. You only speak when necessary other wise it hurts too much. You were experimented on with needles, torture objects, Scientific liquids, but most importantly Metal.

From your pinkys and thumbs, down the side of your arms, up your shoulders to your ears, and down your spine is Metal. This happened when your were just 10 years old and already a super soldier, but that wasn't enough to satisfy them. So they put Metal in your body.

Your were named Y/n Pierce and raised a deadly weapon for HYDRA. Your Dad took you out places a lot actually, but covering you neck and arms and the red star that was tattooed on the front and back of your shoulders.

On this particular day you were going to train with the famous Winter Soldier, or Winter as HYDRA called him. You didn't really want to train with him agian, not that he scares you, you have grown feelings for the soldier, and you didn't want to get hurt more than your already were, physically and mentally.

You walk down to the good training room with your father in the lead holding your hand. Since you were little you hated not having physically contact with someone afraid of getting lost or left to die, your Father surprisingly didn't mind, he actually liked holding your delicate, but deadly hand.

Your fathers guards opened the door with a special code and you walked in. Your looked at the training room that was filled with mats, punching bags, and other equipment. Your E/c orbs landed on the soldier standing in the center of the room, his ice cold blue orbs full of innocence covered by his chocolate brown hair.

"Winter you will be training with my daughter, Y/n again" Alexander said leading you forward, never letting go of your hand. He grunts in response as you grip your dads hand telling him it was okay to let go, but not for long.

He compiled and let go of your hand fixing you black leather on your shoulder and arms. With a pat of your shoulder her walked off the mats and watched at how your bodys reaction was to not having physically contact.

Your started getting fidgety making you twitch wanting to hold someone's hand. "Begin" Your dad ordered stepping out of the room with all the other HYDRA agents, wanting you and him to bond.

He lunged at your first going for your gut. You did a back bend avoiding his punch and returned to your standing position, watching how his muscles flexed showing which way he would come from. His left shoulder flexed indicating that he will go right. He indeed came from the right trying to hook your jaw, but you dodged with ease.

He grunts and charged at you head on wanting to attack yout torso. You leaned away grabbing his flesh arm and tripping his foot as yout sat on his toned body. Your grabbed his flesh hand and held it as you sat upon his torso holding his metal arm under him.

Relaxation crossing over his blue orbs as your metal flexed when holding his hand. You got off of him never letting go of his hand, calming your rising anxiety. He held your hand knowing it helped you in some way, understanding physically contact that was other than fists and feet.

You trained for a hour or so before you sat down by a wall, arms sitting on your knees as you played with the thread on the mat. Your hand slipped into his wanting attention. He gripped it gently pulling you closer, also wanting physically contact. You leaned on his shoulder holding his hand have a strange feeling to kiss him.

Winter sat there trying to remember his name and other things, but his strange mind kept drifting to your beautiful but deadly form next to him. He had no idea what he was feeling but it was to hold and kiss you, wanting to touch your body, every single inch to himself.

"Do you speak?" He asked just above a whisper. You nod "Yeah, but it hurst too..." You say your throat stinging as you spoke making your rub your neck. He nodded taking your hand again.

"Tibi salutem?"(Do you want to escape?) He asked speaking Latin. You nodded "Etiam"(Yes) you whispered yout throat not hurting as much. "Hac nocte nobis effugium"(We escape tonight) he said looking at your sad E/c orbs. You nodded wanting to feel his lips on yours.

Its like he read your mind because he smashed his lips onto yours pulling you onto his lap. He slid his tongue in your mouth as your pulled on his hair making him growl. You pulled getting off his lap hearing your fathers voice. 

Alexander walked in the room squinting looking at were your sitting and motioned you up. You stood up still holding winters hand and pulled him to his feet with ease. You and Winter walked up to him hand in hand and stopped infornt of him, your head hung low making your H/c hair fall in your face.

"Well good job you two!" Alexander laughed looking at your hands locked hands. "Back to your cells" He ordered watching as you two nodded and walked out the door. You walked in silence glancing at each other here and there.

Your cell was right across from his and another prisoners. "Thank you..." You choked wincing as it felt like bees were stinging your throat. He didn't answer only kissed you, running metal fingers down your throat.

He pulled bach and went next to your ear "Hac nocte, et evadere, non quam postea 10"(Tonight, we escape not later than 10) He ordered pulling away looking at you before walking to his cell. You open the cell door as the guards close it handing you your food.

Now all you have to do is wait....

To be continued....

[n--n]

One last touchstarved theory thingy bc I’ve almost purged my brief obsession!! It’s mentioned by both Leander and Vere that the one running the Senobium- and thus its shady policies- is someone called The Abbess. An Abbess is a nun in charge of the nunnery, so I can only assume she is gonna have some sort of religious symbolism related to her like Kuras and Mhin do. Unfortunately the literal one-sentence blink and you’ll miss it lines are all we have to go off for her, but I’m excited to see what she’s really like in game! (From the attitude both Vere and Leander have in those one-off lines, it’s clear she’s almost certainly a villain).

Some misc, tinfoil-hat theories:

- Elyon, as a powerful noble, likely works with but opposes the Abbess. He owns most of the brothels in Lowtown apparently so he has incentive to keep the divide between hightown and lowtown, but as someone with power he probably chafes at the control the Senobium has over hightown

- Sen, from her one-sentence descriptor, is a revived warden seeking her own death. Almost certainly one of the Senobium’s experiments, not sure what a warden in the context of the touchstarved universe is but probably a Fancy Jailer for the Senobium like the word usually implies. Maybe the experiments left her with such a painful condition she’d rather die? Or it could be more supernatural, in that she can not Rest until her unfinished business in Eridia is Taken Care Of.

-The Abbess could be the one that initiated the changes at the Senobium in the first place a generation ago, since immortality is confirmed to exist in-universe (see Vere being chained “Centuries Ago”)

-I think Leander is meant as the sort of “starter LI”, since the demo and supplementary info give us the most info about him while at the same time holding back just enough as to be intriguing (see: the countless Leander-specific theory posts that started this post lmao) I imagine his route will tell us the most about lowtown, fogfall and Eridia at large, whereas Vere/Mhin/Kuras will tell us most about the Senobium, and Ais will tell us most about the overall world, magic (fogfall again), monsters (like the soulless), and of course Ais’s boss/“friend” Ocudeus and the Seaspring

Other thots:

- I’m most excited for Leander’s route for obvious reasons (hot + will get to meat of story + I want to see What’s Really Wrong With Him so bad) but also know that will make me more disappointed if he turns out to be Just Some Asshole. I want him to be a monster bc he commits atrocities like the rest of them, not because he’s a reminder of the shittier guys I’ve met. That being said I know I’ll probably still really like the character if they do go that route, since the overall writing from the demo is super engaging and solid in quality- which bodes well for the final product

-Speaking of writing, I’m loving that different backstories actually have weight in the narrative. I love when the player is actually rewarded with info for making a choice, instead of it just being one or two flavor text things. Choosing different backstories affects your red dialogue options (the romance-y choices) and gives you different attitudes towards events in the story, making replay ability high

-I’m worried by how successful the kickstarter is since I Have Been Burned last times I backed videogame Kickstarters (Blue Omen Operation, Homestuck Game) 😭 The team seems experienced and competent, since most seem to have come from Nix Hydra/other successful otome games that got killed by poor management. But like, still really worries me since it’s their first game and all. The demo was so good but so was Blue Omen Operations and look where that landed me ($15 less in my pocket from backing years ago 🥲)

-On a lighter note, this game is clearly a passion project and I’ve loved what I’ve seen so far- if I have enough money to spare before the Kickstarter is over, maybe I’ll get it just to support the devs

-getting so obsessed w the demo even if only for a week or so has reminded me Oh Yeah, I Forgot I Love Gothic Horror. If by some miracle you’re still reading this drop a recommendation pls

[urdepressedslut]

Void

♡ Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Hydra!Fem!Reader/The Winter Soldier x Hydra!Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Working as a nurse at HYDRA, you find yourself intervening when you catch Alexander Pierce striking The Asset. You don’t even know this man, but you can’t just stand and watch him be beat down.

♡ Warnings: violence, angst, mentions of guns, unwanted touching, mentions buckys trauma, poor sweet bucky

You took your place as the caboose in the group of people, lingering behind as you ducked your head, avoiding the judgmental stares from the guards.

Sometimes you wondered if anyone even knew your name. You were practically invisible. You stayed out of everyone’s way, never attempting to make conversation. You learned your place here, you were not to speak out, your thoughts and opinions meaning nothing.

You were only ever useful or needed when The Asset needed to be fixed up. You were efficient in your work, cleaning and stitching wounds with expertise. Despite your shaky hands that came with the pressure and anxiety sometimes, you were good at what you did. But it was rare that anyone ever praised you for your hard work, not that you were ever expecting a thanks, but it would be appreciated.

You were not blind to HYDRA’s motives, but you were also in a dangerous position to speak out. HYDRA had control of your life, you were shackled to them.

You had no family left, only your uncle, who happened to be one of the leaders of HYDRA.

Alexander Pierce.

Although he was your blood, he never felt like family. Treating you like someone under him, ordering you around, forcing you to follow him. It felt fair to not even consider him family, as far as you knew, your family were dead.

“Move it, girl.” One of the guards snapped, noticing your pace slowing while you were stuck in your thoughts.

Speed walking to catch up, you swallowed nervously as you approached closer to your destination.

The sound of commotion could be heard ahead, just outside the room. Your hands were clammy, making it difficult to hold your supplies tightly.

The group separated to the sides, leaving you a cleared path to enter. The sudden attention on you had your heart pounding, your chest rising and falling erratically.

You shuffled from foot to foot, hesitating, frozen in your spot. Your chest started to ache, and you cursed yourself that this wasn’t the time for a panic attack.

“Go now!” The guard closest to your right yelled, making you flinch back.

Bowing your head apologetically, you forced your feet to move into the room. The atmosphere immediately tense, the air thick with machinery fumes. It was when you entered the room completely, you allowed yourself to look up. Taking in the scrawny handlers scattered around the room, their expressions blown in fear. Armed guards fenced the room, their weapons pointed at the defensive man in the middle. The Asset.

You felt like you had entered at the wrong time, things seeming to be a tiny bit chaotic.

Your gaze fell upon the tense man, his muscles flexing with what seemed like panic. You didn’t know this man very well, only having fixed him once or twice before, but the far away look he always wore, saddened you.

From what you could tell from your time here, was that he was loyal. Never speaking unless asked to, really quick to follow orders. He rarely acted human, and you were beginning to wonder if he even was. He was emotionless, despite his occasional sadness and rage. But it was the slightest ghost of emotion, that you’d miss if you blinked.

You couldn’t help yourself from feeling bad, the restraints and many guards proving he was to be tamed. Meaning he was probably being kept here against his will. That thought made your stomach twist.

It didn’t surprise you, coming from HYDRA, you knew they were known to take things to drastic measures. Willing to do whatever it takes. You felt sick to even lift a hand in helping them, but again, you didn’t really have a choice. Either help stitch a few wounds or die a painful death. Or worse, become a robot like The Asset, being controlled by HYDRA’s hands.

Scanning his body, you didn’t seem to find any open wounds. A crease formed in between your brows, wondering why you were here if there wasn’t any wound for you to fix.

Turning to the closest guard, you anxiously met their hardened gaze.

“Excuse me… What am I supposed to—”

“Calm him down.” The guard snapped, focusing his glare back on The Asset.

You furrowed your brows even more, you were a nurse, not a counselor.

“I don’t know what you—”

“Calm. Him. Down.” The guard spat, readjusting his aim of the gun of you, “Or I’ll shoot you.”

The end of the gun being pointed at you was intimidating, the threat looming in the air, and you were confident that the guard was not bluffing. Swallowing thickly, you moved your numb feet, placing your stuff down on the table.

Side eyeing The Asset, you walked in front of him, watching his empty gaze look right through you. You didn’t know how you should approach him, cursing the guards for throwing you into this so suddenly.

He was being treated like a threat, and you found it funny that you felt threatened by everyone else in the room, besides him.

“Um… Hi there,” You started, not receiving any hint that he’d heard you, “I know you’re nervous, but everything will be alright. Just take a deep breath.”

You heard guards chuckling, giggling at your weak attempts at consoling the man. You felt self conscious, embarrassed by the way they stared down at you.

You couldn’t help but feel terrible for lying to this man. How was it right for you to assure him everything’s fine, when it was far from it?

“I need you to take a deep breath, please?” You said softly, your words coming out slightly desperate.

It was a split second, but the man’s eyes had snapped to yours, confusion painted in his orbs. His muscles relaxed only slightly, and before you could say anymore, Alexander Pierce himself was striding into the room.

“Step away.” Pierce demanded, motioning to a guard when you weren’t fast enough. You were grabbed harshly, feeling yourself get yanked back to the guards chest.

You immediately felt uncomfortable in the guards tight hold, wiggling to create some distance.

“Don’t you fucking move.” The guard spat into your ear, making you halt your movements and shiver in fear.

You watched Pierce examine The Asset, repeating his question when he hadn’t responded. Pierce suddenly cranked his hand back, backhanding The Asset, his head jolting harshly to the side.

You winced hearing the loud smack, you felt angered for this man. Hating the way they treated him like a caged animal, abusing him for their needs. You couldn’t just stand aside and watch this happen.

Ripping yourself out of the guards hold, you walked up to Pierce, chest puffed out in attempt to look confident.

“Stop this! He didn’t do anything wrong!” You told him, your voice the loudest it had ever been.

Pierce glanced over to you, entertained by your attempt to protect The Asset.

“I wasn’t aware that you were in charge?” He asked you, not giving you a chance to speak, “That’s right, you’re not. Who do you think you are, to think you have a place to speak to me?”

You scrunched your face in frustration and disgust, hearing the last family member you had say such things, cutting you deep.

“I’m your niece.” You whispered weakly.

“You’re nothing to me. Just a pathetic nurse we keep around. Do not forget that you are expendable.” He stated so calmly, making your eyes water from the humiliation.

Staying silent, you felt defeated, staring at the ground. Pierce scoffed, turning towards the scrawny man behind The Asset.

“Wipe him.” Pierce commanded.

Your eyes shot up at those words, no stranger to what would come from that torturous machine. The horrific screams that plagued your nightmares, echoing down the halls from this very room.

“No!” You shouted, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and stare at you, “I haven’t stitched his wound yet.”

Pierce squinted his eyes, studying your gaze. He walked closer, invading your personal space, grabbing you by the collar of your uniform.

“I don’t care what you do, just do it quick and leave.” He whispered venomously, his eyes glaring into yours. You could almost see his orbs turn red with fury.

With a shove, he pushed you away, causing you to catch yourself on stumbling feet.

Thankful that he was too busy to care about your lie, he walked out of the room. All the guards but one following him, leaving you with the one guard. The scrawny handlers stepped into another room, waiting for you to finish so they could wipe The Asset.

You watched the man carefully, acknowledging his beaten down expression. His eyes empty and haunting.

The guard walked up to you, shoving you forward with a little too much force, causing you to fall on your hands and knees.

“Hurry it up!” The guard yelled, raising his gun, training it on you.

You huffed, ignoring the throbbing in your hands and knees for now. Standing up, you turned and faced the guard.

“I need to be alone with him.” You said softly, earning a laugh from the guard.

“Yeah right, now shut the fuck up and start.” He spat.

“I need him calm, and he can’t calm down with you in here.” You told him, yours hand motioning to the gun in his hands.

“Why would I listen to you?”

“Because if you were smart, you’d leave and let me do my work. For your sake, if Pierce comes back and finds The Asset not taken care of… He won’t be happy.” You threatened, the guard surprisingly shutting up.

Sending you another deathly glare, the guard walked out of the room, slamming the door on the way out.

With him gone, it was just you and The Asset, and for some reason you felt like you could breathe fully. You felt like you weren’t being watched, your shoulders relaxing from being so tense.

“I’m not hurt.” A soft voice sounded, your eyes glancing up to the man.

His voice had startled you, you weren’t expecting this muscled, intimidating looking man to have such a gentle voice.

You looked at him, giving him a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“I know, I just… I just wanted you to have some time alone for a little bit. I’m sorry.” You explained, keeping your voice quiet.

Meanwhile, Bucky was confused on why you would do such a thing. Kindness was foreign to him, and he wasn’t expecting it to come from anyone from HYDRA. Looking closely at you, he wondered why you were in a place like this to begin with. You didn’t seem to fit in.

“I wish I could run away from here.” You whispered out loud, feeling comfortable with him, not worried about him judging you.

All you received was a grunt in response. The two of you sat in silence, neither bothering to create conversation. In a way the two just enjoyed each other’s company.

After a while, you were surprised to hear the man’s gentle voice again.

“I wish I could too.” He whispered.

“Wish you could what?” You had forgotten what you were talking about before, losing yourself in the comfortable silence you had both found.

The man held your eyes in a desperate gaze, almost as if he were pleading for help.

“Run away.”

A/N: i just realized most of my work is angsty and depressing and well 🥴 that pretty much explains me lol. this idea came to me while i was eating lunch today, let me know what you think🤍

[writersblockiskillingme]

Younger Romanoff | Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x widow!Romanoff!reader

Summary: Natasha's sister has to train with none other than the Hydra's most precious soldier as a part of the Black Widow Program.

Warning/s: fighting, blood, wounds, death, maybe a curse word?? I guess? Think that's it?

Author's note: Hii! :) This is my first Tumblr post (new to this). So please go easy on me. Enjoy!

You could literally feel the sweat running down your back underneath your suit as you took the seat next to your older sister Natasha. You knew that you should have no reason to be nervous at all, but you couldn't stop the bad feeling creeping in since the moment you opened your eyes that very morning.

Today was the day when the Windows were supposed to have a rather brutal training. But that wasn't the worst or unusual part. That training was supposed to be held not only by the Red Room, but by Hydra, too. The trainers in the Red Room had gathered all of the Widows to train with the Hydra's strongest soldier. The Winter Soldier. Just the thought of his name made you shiver.

You had a very bad feeling that even your status as the Widow couldn't push away. You were proven right the moment that the door of the training room slammed open, and your sister, the rest of the Widows in the waiting room and you looked up. One of the trainers was walking out of the room. But she wasn't alone. Behind her, she was dragging a poor beaten up Widow. She seemed like she was barely breathing. All of the Widows watched in silence as the first Widow of this training was dragged away God knows where. Natasha and you shared a look. You didn't say anything, but you both agreed that this was going to be a long day.

It was already dark outside as you watched the Widows go inside the training room. Some of them coming out of it alive, but badly beaten. Some of them weren't so lucky. Pretty soon you watched as Natasha got out of the training room, took her towel, pressed it into her bruised face, exchanged a few words with you and leave to go to her room. A few second passed and you heard your name being called out with a sharp, but clear voice.

"Y/N Romanoff!"

You stood up like a robot, wiped your hands with your training suit and started to walk over towards the training room door. This was it. Either you come out alive or you die trying. One or the other. As you walked into the room and the door closed behind you, you took in your surroundings. In front of you was placed a boxing ring, only you knew the two of you wouldn't be boxing. That one was for sure. You looked to your right and saw a bunch of your trainers and Hydra agents murmuring among themselves.

"Y/N, step in the middle of the ring." Anastassia, your own trainer said as she handed you a small pocket knife. As you did so you heard them talk behind you.

"Y/N Romanoff. Her sister is Natasha Romanoff. A girl that was here before her. The two of them have the highest score in the Black Widow Program."

"We shall see in a moment."

You felt a shiver going down your spine as one of the Hydra's agents uttered those words.

"Y/N Romanoff. Meet The Winter Soldier."

You looked to your left and that's when you saw him. His piercing black eyes full of hatred were looking at the Hydra's agent as he sat on a chair in the dark corner of the room. He suddenly stood up as the agent ordered him to do so. He started to walk up to you towards the ring, however, he still didn't look you in the eyes. That's why you still couldn't really see his eyes properly. Your hard gaze followed him around the room as he got closer to you. When he finally stepped over the wire and into the ring, you noticed that he was given the same little pocket knife as you were.

"Y/N Romanoff. Winter Soldier. Fight."

That's when he looked you back in the eyes. For a moment you were frozen in shock, you could tell that he was, too. Your knees buckled as you watched soldier's eyes soften a little as a small frown was placed on his oddly perfect face without the mask this time. You somehow were charmed by him. You couldn't help but feel like your breath was stolen away from you as his piercing eyes were looking at you with some kind of interest. Interest in what? You could easily tell that he was, too, shocked by his sudden capability to experience any sort of emotion other than emptiness and hatred whatsoever. But you knew that you had to snap out of it before he got into his normal self. So you did.

You landed the first punch and that's when he came to. He started to throw punches back as the Red Room trainers and the Hydra's agents were watching your every single move closely. Just as you were about to throw the next hit, the Winter Soldier, cut your cheek with the knife. You hissed a little and glared angrily at him. If he wanted to play dirty, so could you.

At the end of the training you got your ticket out of the training room, that much was clear. You had to admit, he was a rough opponent. He was quick, clever and very strong. This fight was a big challenge and you just know fully understood why some of the Widows didn't make it. As you gave the pocket knife back to your trainer you could truly feel the soreness in your whole body. You had a few bruises and a big cut on your cheek ashoulderder, but you feltsensence of accomplishment as you knew that you got the Hydra's soldier pretty good, too.

He was hissing angrily as he took the towel from some Hydra's agent. He had a giant slush over his chest, a bruised jaw and a little cut on his chin. You turned around, away from his gaze, as you continued to speak to the Hydra's agents and The Red Room trainers that were asking you all sorts of questions. You felt piercing eyes on the back of your head the entire time. You knew were well to whom they belonged to. But you couldn't make yourself turn around. After you were dismissed you turned around and practically ran out of the training room. You just couldn't wait to escape the torture you just went through. But not only physical torture, but emotional torture, too.

You found yourself all alone as you walked out of the room whose door was slammed shut behind you. You looked out of the small window of the waiting room and you saw that it was pure dark outside. You quietly sighed to yourself as you made your way to the showers. As you relaxed in the shower, put on some fresh clothes and took care of the bruises and cuts you made your way over to your dorm room.

But what you didn't expect was to be showed in the dark corner of the hallway. You couldn't even let out a quiet gasp as your mouth was suddenly covered by a cold metal arm. You felt yourself freeze in shock as you realized who it was.

"Успокойся, вдова." (Calm down, Widow.) He hissed at you quietly, his breath hot on your face.

You nodded, not saying a word because you knew that there was no way out of this one. You didn't know why you were acting like this. You were a Widow for crying out loud. You are strong, intelligent and full of undying fire in your heart. You couldn't understand why you were letting yourself be ordered around by the Winter Soldier like some rag doll. But at the same time you had to admit that he was very intimidating at the moment since his other arm was placed on the wall next to your head.

This position made him look twice taller than you. He slowly put his metal hand away from your mouth as you took s breath in. You leaned yourself against the wall, one foot placed on the wall behind you, crossing your arms as you looked at the soldier's a little bit soft and confused eyes. You looked him straight in the eyes, your gaze, trying to be strong and full of confidence.

"Чего ты хочешь, Солдат?" (What do you want, Soldier?)

->

->

->

TAGLIST:

@hellonheels-x

JOIN THE TAGLIST HERE!!

[rainbowsprinkledpirate]

Soldier Of My Past

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Male!Reader

Summary: You meet up with Doctor Borisyuk again after a scary run-in with the Winter Soldier. He lets you in on a little secret, and you don't know how to handle it.

AN: Does anyone have any good Bucky x Readers to suggest? I'd appreciate it, and it would help me see how others write him(it's surprisingly hard to write how characters act even though I've watched them a million times).

Chapter V: Little Secret

The room they gave me wasn’t much.

The walls were painted a dull gray alongside a tiny bed, and footlocker to match. If I weren't careful, the lackluster room could drive me crazy. But it wasn't like they let me stay in here constantly, not with all the missions they had the Winter Soldier go on.

My eyes trail toward the wall, where a single clock resides. It reads two twenty-four.

Instead of resting as Doctor Borisyuk had suggested, I lay on the bed staring at the cracks in the ceiling. It's hard to sleep when you're plauged by nightmares and your mind is all over the place.

What did Doctor Borisyuk have to say to me?

Was it about the recent mission?

Or did he know I was gathering intel on HYDRA every time I woke up?

No, that couldn't be it. I didn't have a single thing against HYDRA physically. And even if I could get something against them, they would see it. These people keep an eye on me no matter where I go. I can't even piss in peace without someone watching over my shoulder.

But that's just how HYDRA ran. One single slip-up could lead to them losing a precious foothold. So they didn't take any risks.

Looking back at the clock, I sigh. There were still two hours left before I had to report back to Doctor Borisyuk. The only way to pass the time quickly would be to work out. Hopefully, no one is using the training room at this time.

Sliding off the scratchy blanket, I move to put on a worn tank top from the footlocker while deciding that the cargo pants I had on from the earlier mission were good enough.

Their workout room was only a few rooms down from my own. This often led to sweat and body odor lingering in the hallway after hours. And on occasion, the coppery tang of blood could be detected.

Thankfully, not many people used it today. If the faint smell of sweat mixing with the rubber mats was anything to go off of.

I make my way into the room. Only to pause when I catch a familiar glint of metal. The Winter Soldier slams a rather helpless HYDRA agent into the ground before stepping around him. Steps light as he shifts his weight to his other leg.

Monster.

The word whispers in my head as I stare at the soldier. He's like a panther stalking its prey, just waiting for a chance to strike.

But I notice the agent isn't moving, and blood is smeared across the mat around his head. I step forward, hoping to stop the soldier from killing the poor fool.

"Sir, I believe he's had enough."

Those cold blue eyes cut through me as he moves to keep the unconscious soldier and me in his sight. It takes everything in me not to flinch under his gaze.

I raise my hands, making sure not to make any sudden movements lest I set him off.

"Alright, that's enough for now." The new voice sends chills down my spine as I straighten up. A man I have only ever seen a few times in the company of Doctor Borisyuk steps past me to examine the Winter Soldier.

Even from here, I can see he hadn't broken a sweat. But I could see that the mask he wore like a muzzle was tightened on his face enough that his cheeks were squished up under his eyes. Ouch. If it had been anyone else, I would have pitied them. Yet the man standing before me was nothing but a vessel. A tool for HYDRA to use as they saw fit.

The Winter Soldier starts to move away from the man fists raising when he starts speaking again, "Longing."

The soldier stiffens, his cold blue eyes flicking toward me. For a moment, he seems to struggle with himself.

"Rusted, furnace, daybreak," The man steps closer to the soldier with every word.

For a second, I meet the soldier's eyes. Something in them manages to break through the icy surface. And I swear I hear the softest 'no' leave him. But the moment is over as the man steps in between us, forcing me to break eye contact. He utters a few more words before casting a cold look my way.

"Don't you have something else to do other than stare?" His words send me straight back out into the hall. Luckily, he wasn't someone of too high rank, or I'd worry about not saluting him before leaving.

I can't help standing in the hallway for a few seconds as I try to process what I just saw. The Winter Soldier mercilessly taking down his training partner(more like punching bag) only to plead for help moments later with his eyes.

Did he really just attack me and I'm actually unconscious right now?

Or am I really losing it?

"Soldat."

I must be losing it if I'm hearing Doctor Zola. From what I remember he was taken in by Steve and some other soldier. After that... well I never saw him again. I was honestly glad for that until Doctor Rot took me back in. But that was then. What was with the Winter Soldier just now?

Snap

"Soldier, hello?" Fingers snap in front of my face again and I flinch back. Familiar empty blue eyes bore into me as I stare blankly back at Doctor Borisyuk.

"Lost in thought?" A coy smile flickers across his face as he chuckles, "Didn't know you had those."

What was wrong with everyone today? They're all acting odder than normal.

"Anyway, I had to come find you since you didn't show up on time." A shiver makes its way down my back as I rasp out a quick apology.

Before Doctor Borisyuk can scold me for being late the door to the training room opens again. The man from earlier appears with the Winter Soldier close behind him.

The man stiffens at the sight of Doctor Borisyuk quickly saluting him before being waved off. The man swiftly strides off down the hall with the Winter Soldier following like a robot.

"That reminds me. I thought I'd let you in on a little secret, since you were the one to inform Doctor Rot all those years ago. The Winter Soldier is actually Sergeant Barnes. Amazing, right? That Doctor Zola was a genius creating the super soldier serum. It's the only thing that saved him that day."

No. That can't be true. It can't.

They knew. They had to have known to play such a cruel prank. I saw James fall from the train. I saw him die that day.

The air felt as if it had been sucked from my lungs as I struggled to take a breath in.

I wanted to say something, anything, but no words would come out. A high pitched squealing echoed in my ears as I openly gaped at Doctor Borisyuk.

Black spots started to dance in the corner of my eyes as I was still unable to take in a breath. Hands starting grabbing onto me as I stumble back, trying to get away. My chest tightens as more and more hands latch onto me. What a cruel little secret to keep from me all these years. Darkness engulfed my vision and for once I was grateful for the empty inky black.

Next Chapter -> tbd

Here <- Previous Chapter

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

[heavenbarnes]

marvel fell off but i’ve always LOVED heroes and the steve rogers/captain america heroism was always so well done to me- i have to say it

[yn-barnes]

Exploring explosions ~

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Series

Summary - While on a mission, something happens to bucky. On his journey to recovery, he finds something he wants more than life.

:⚠️warnings: talk of unconscious people, talks of torture and violence ⚠️:

Bucky x reader (no use of Y/N)

(Idk if this makes sense.. it makes sense to meee)

You watch from the back of the room, as 4-6 shield agents continue their 'interaction' it was torture not only to look at, but probably also to go throught, it was disturbing to watch, so you got up trying to make a little scene as your chair loudly scraps along the floor and to pick up your books, looking up and seeing mostly everyone even a couple agents in the room with him staring at you, so you left to head to your room, you slept in the compound most nights even thought you had a apartment. You threw your books on your desk as you walk towards the large window covering the whole back wall.

You fell backwards on your bed and stared at the ceiling. You were in your own world and didn't realise your phone was blowing up, you came back to reality when you heard a frantic knock at your door, getting up you unlocked it and a red headed assassin barged through before slamming he door shut and using all your 4 locks making sure she used them all. She was leaning on the door with her ear to it, listening. She swallowed dramatically. "I'm never gonna make fun of you for all your locks again." She said while sounding out of breath. You tried to listen to what she was running.. from?

"I don't hear anything.. what's going on?" You whispered as she slowly made her way to your bed, sitting at the foot of it.

"He just appeared like right there and.." she tried speaking but also trying to catch her breath." I walked in, trying to remind them you left, so it's over, but.. he was out. They were all dead or unconscious in his.. room.. he was just watching them..." she looked at you like she wouldn't believe herself, but she saw it, so she had to.

"And you ran here? To me, to the woman who hates, HATES violence, " you gave her a look on confusion. "OK, wasn't me best move, but I thought with your past.." she tried reasoning but gave up pretty quickly, you give a slow nod as you walked to your desk and relieved you grabbed some of the wrong papers. You turned your head, giving her a lovely smirk. "Guess what?" You choked out, but you were met with a defeated look. You just hum picking up the right papers and make piles before grabbing the wrong ones and heading towards the door with Nat praying behind you.

~~~

You giggle as tried defending herself - "So you're one of the more deadly assassins the red room even made.. but you're scared when he looked at you, and you just ran, not knowing if he was also running.. Hahaha, cmon Nat, it's funny, " you giggled as you reached for your badge as the bay was on lockout. Before you could swipe it, you got a weird feeling when you realised you weren't afraid of the wintersolider and weren't scared when Nat almost took out the door and told you her lovely story. You were going to say something but didn't and just swiped your badge with a beep. You shrugged as it took a while for the door to open. As it slowly opened, you went to take a step inside, and you stopped looking around.

You saw the room a mess desks and tables tipped papers everywhere, glass shards covering the floor, what looks like ripped clothing scattered through out the room, without thinking or even looking you slowly slip your hand towards a big red button "you believe me now?" You hear the shake in nats' voices before hitting the panic button. The room starts spinning as what you think is classical music plays in your head, your own world turned into a record player, and you were the record.

@sapphirebarnes @cjand10 @unaxv @scott-loki-barnes