#Horror was - for a short time when he first joined - Nightmare's clear favourite

[somegrumpynerd]

Thinking about how Nightmare has 4 mortals and 3 of them are so so bad at taking care of themselves

[obsessedwhyyes]

After some Astarion fanfiction from a rusty fanfic writer from the old Tumblr days with a penchant for excessively flowery language? I might have something for you!

If you're new here, I recommend starting with The Scientific Method for smut, The Fool for some feels, or A Tale of Fools and Tricksters if you fancy a fully fleshed out story!

To join the tag list, click here!

The Scientific Method Series A mini Astarion x Inexperienced Reader series, cataloguing the important moments in their growing relationship. Rating: Explicit Summary: Inexperienced in the ways of love, you often find yourself labelled an overthinker. But then again, you are a scientist. When your incredibly beautiful travelling companion proposes a night you'll never forget, suddenly you're left wondering, are you really ready for this? Ever the scientist, you propose an experiment, and get more than you bargained for. Part 1: A Sound Hypothesis Tumblr / AO3 Part 2: An Empirical Study Tumblr / AO3 Part 3: Unexpected Variables (T rating, non-explicit) In progress! Series Masterlist on the way...

A Tale of Fools and Tricksters Mystic circus AU longfic, featuring Ringmaster Astarion. Some horror elements. Rating: Varies by chapter (we'll say M to be safe) Summary: The Festival of Fools - a carnival of magic and illusions which shall set your heart ablaze and bring your dreams to life. Legends say that the Festival of Fools will grant one wish to those pure of heart and soul - for a price. Seeking a cure for the Curse of Stone which plagues her people, Elysia Thorne seeks the aid of the festival's enigmatic ringmaster, Astarion Ancunin, whose charm is as dangerous as it is irresistible. But as their fates intertwine, it becomes clear that all is not as it seems... Series Masterlist Here!

Darling Drabbles A series of Astarion shorts. Rating: Various Summary: From bite night to cuddles - this is just a random assortment of passages that don't have a real home, so they sit in this little drabble collection instead! Blood-Bound Rapture (What it feels like to be bitten by Astarion) Tumblr / AO3 The Fool (Astarion reflects on his feelings for you, angst) Tumblr / AO3 Touch (Handholding, pure fluff) In progress!

One-Shots

Beneath the Blood and Starlight Pure fluff. Rating: T Summary: Awoken from a nightmare, you seek a moment of reprieve down by the river, only to find your mysterious vampire companion - covered in blood. As you help him with his mess, you realise that perhaps there's more to this rakish, teasing façade: a vulnerability you hadn't expected. Tumblr / AO3

Chasing Lightning Shameless smut. Spanking fic. Not my finest moment. Rating: Explicit Summary: You've spent all day teasing, tempting, taunting - you've really tested Astarion's patience this time. But pushing his boundaries is your favourite past time. Now, here you are, over his knee, about to receive the punishment you longed for, all according to your devious plan. Not that you'd ever admit it, of course. Tumblr / AO3

The Learned Observer A voyeurism fic request. Gale first person POV. Rating: Explicit Summary: On a sleepless night, Gale notices the distinct sound of hushed voices outside his tent. It couldn't be you and Astarion… could it? When he decides to take a peek - to satisfy his scholarly curiosity, of course - he gets more than he bargained for. Tumblr / AO3

Bending Steel My first M/M, featuring a hulking barbarian OC. Rating: Explicit Summary: There is only one strength that Darius has ever known: brute force; unrelenting power. But Astarion - he challenges everything he's ever known. When a sparring match unearths some complicated feelings, Darius discovers that sometimes letting go can be an invigorating experience... and a pleasurable one, too. In progress!

Prompt Lists Fangs, Wit and Charm - An Astarion Quote Prompt List Velvet and Vice - An Astarion Quote Prompt List for Smut Writers

[prettywordsyouleft]

Ulterior Motive

Pairing: Ji Changmin (Q) x reader

Genre: friends to lovers au / fluff

Warnings: none

Word count: 1609

A/N: Happy birthday Em @soybeantree​!! I hope you’ve had a fantastic day! I hope this story makes your birthday just that little bit more special! It’s my first time writing Changmin, and I had so much fun doing so! 

“No way.”

“Just one!” Changmin begged, holding up his index finger near his face as he smiled encouragingly.

You laughed, shaking your head in response. “Oh, it is so not happening, Min.”

“Why not?! I have watched every movie you’ve wanted to even if its-” Changmin cut short with the stern look you gave him and laughed breathily. “And it’s been fun. Can’t you just give me one movie that I want to watch in return?”

“Me and a horror movie is not happening. We’ve been friends forever so I shouldn’t have to tell you why.”

“Your cousin was an asshole for locking you in that room and taking the remote away so you couldn’t turn it off. I beat him up royally, remember? But we’re adults now and it’s just one movie. Besides, I’ll be there the entire time,” Changmin replied and you sighed heavily, giving him a curious once over.

Normally Changmin would never be this persistent over you and horror movies. He had learned a long time ago that you didn’t watch them. You weren’t interested in the new paranormal movies or the gory kind of pastimes. You didn’t care for zombies either. Whatever the frightful content, you were fine with him watching them alone or going with a friend to see it. You didn’t knock Changmin for liking them, much like he never complained that you were a rom-com or periodic drama kind of person.

Well, usually.

Huffing a little, you squinted at the man. Changmin seemed agitated which concerned you. Why was today the day you had to watch a horror movie with him? Was there something he was planning? It didn’t bode well with you, given the context, and you folded your arms over your chest. “I can’t.”

“You can,” he corrected, reaching out to rub your shoulders. “I picked a tame one.”

“Tame? You mean, nightmare-inducing. I will have to hide behind a cushion and sleep with the lights on afterwards. Is that what you want?!”

His grin seemed to support this and you reached out to slap his arm and hiss at him. Changmin shook his head. “Y/N, I would never let you suffer.”

“So let me off the hook.”

“Just half a movie!” he offered and you groaned.

“Fine! Fine! What will you do if I have nightmares?!”

“You won’t,” he assured with a satisfied grin, directing you over to the couch in your apartment and setting up the movie. You looked at all your favourite snack foods on the table and then back at Changmin, smirking at him lightly.

He sure was going the extra mile with this.

Still, you weren’t exactly comfortable with the idea of watching a horror movie and it wasn’t even twenty minutes into it that you dove into Changmin’s side, burying into his chest as you flinched with fear.

Your friend’s arms were around you immediately and it felt entirely protective and warm. Although Changmin was always the type to loosely maintain some sort of skin contact with you, it wasn’t very often that you found yourself this pressed into him. You blinked slowly, focusing on the changes to his body. He was definitely working out at the gym more than you realised and you chewed on your lip as your hand relaxed against his abdomen. You remained hidden even after the scene was over, hoping the flare of colour to your cheeks would ease off and you could sit back up. The last thing on your mind now was the movie.

Jarringly, you managed to pull yourself away from Changmin’s safety a few minutes later, picking up a cushion from beside you instead. You used that to hide behind with a couple more of the jump scare moments, trying not to throw yourself back into his arms.

However, Changmin scooted closer, slinging his arm over the back of the couch to draw you into his side. “Use me.”

“Why?”

“Huh?” he breathed distractedly, blinking a few times before sheepishly grinning. “I’m able to comfort you more than a cushion. Besides, I promised you no nightmares.”

It dawned on you then that when watching a horror Changmin would be vocal about some scenes. He would laugh at most of the scarier parts as it was basically like a comedy for him, so all your mutual friends had expressed whenever they watched one with him. However, he had remained silent this whole time and at first, you thought it was for your sake.

Slowly, you added things up and smiled behind the cushion. Deciding to put your assumption into practice at the next scary moment, you threw the pillow dramatically and dove into his arms, feeling his heart thudding in his chest against your ear at how close you were now. There was no reason for him to be this reactive to the scene, and so you let out a triumphant laugh and snapped up to look at him.

“You sneak!”

“What?”

“Where is it?” you wondered, looking around the dimly lit room for evidence.

Changmin cleared his throat. “Where is what? Y/N, you’re acting strange.”

“I could say the same to you, Changmin! You didn’t want me to watch a movie just for the sake of it. I’m sure you’re trying to film my reactions!”

“What?” he asked, shaking his head. “No.”

“Then why-”

“I wanted this,” he blurted out, gesturing with his head to your close proximity. He grew hesitant, shy even and your eyes widened, watching him with high interest.

It wasn’t every day Changmin would show his vulnerable side so openly like this.

“T-this?” you stammered, looking at the way you were in his arms. More of your body was pressed against him than before and you blinked with confusion. “You mean, you wanted me in your arms like this?”

Changmin nodded, biting his lip adorably in the process.

“Why?”

“Because you’re so dense towards my affection! You friend-zoned me years ago and I’ve had a really bad week so I wanted you to need me like this just once in my life.”

“You made me watch a horror movie with you just because you wanted to cuddle?!”

“You make it sound so ridiculous,” he objected and you cocked your head to the side. “Which it is but humour me this once, Y/N.”

“And then what happens?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you said I friend-zoned you,” you explained, giving him a hard look. “Do I snuggle with you now and then put you back there?”

Changmin’s head dropped and he sighed. “I guess.”

“That sounds miserable.”

“Well, I’m not miserable right now,” he announced, holding you more closely.

You allowed him to do so, nestling your head against his chest comfortably. His hand mindlessly ran up and down your back and you shivered against it, enjoying the moment almost as much as he evidently was. You could tell the protagonist in the movie was having a hard time behind you and you didn’t even care, relaxing into Changmin’s embrace further. You were now all but within his lap, curled up completely against your friend.

And when you felt his embrace around you start to ease off after an immeasurable moment, you gripped onto Changmin tightly. “I never friend-zoned you.”

He laughed. “Oh yes you did.”

“I really didn’t,” you chimed back and Changmin pulled away to gauge your expression. Your cheeks were flushed from enjoying the comfort he was giving you but you were genuinely staring at him with adoration. And then you groaned and rolled your eyes. “You’re so silly.”

“Me?!”

“If you wanted my comfort, you should have just asked. We could have saved the horror movie being put on!”

“Hardly, you’d be suspicious of why.”

“I was suspicious of you earlier. Did you think that me leaping in your arms would satisfy you?” His immediate reaction confirmed your question and you laughed, nudging him playfully with your nose. “So silly.”

“Then tell me straight. Am I friend-zoned?”

“You’re my friend,” you started and his face fell. Cupping his cheeks within your hands, you grinned. “But I’ve always wished you were more than that.”

“You… but… really?”

You nodded. “Really.”

“So I can hold you whenever?”

“So long as you don’t go holding Kevin or Sunwoo like this too,” you agreed with a giggle and Changmin joined you.

The laughter soon eased off and you stared at each other intently. Changmin smiled slowly. “I’ve liked you for too long, Y/N.”

“Probably not as long as me.”

He rolled his eyes. “Let me have my moment.”

“Why, does it feel like a dream?” Changmin nodded and you grinned. “Well in my dreams, I’m always bold, so…” You pressed your lips to his then, kissing him slowly. He met your approach with added hunger, hands reaching for your waist and pulling you into his lap. Your kiss deepened as you reached to sling your arms over his shoulders, smiling against his lips before you pulled back.

“I don’t want to wake up,” he breathed and you nuzzled his nose with your own again.

“Then don’t.”

A second kiss happened and then a third and by the time you were both more than addicted to the taste of each other, the movie had finished, the credits now rolling on the screen.

You laughed and pointed at it. “Hey look! I lasted through an entire horror movie!”

“We didn’t really watch it, so it doesn’t count.”

“So? Technically I watched a horror movie with you tonight. And you were right about something.”

“What?”

Smiling giddily at Changmin, you lowered your mouth to just above his. “I won’t be having any nightmares tonight.”

_________________

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[imgoingtohellsofuckit]

When They Had To Say Goodbye

Jasper Hale x Human!Reader

Warning - mentions of death, angst

Summary - the choice is yours live the last of your days with your family or be turned and spend your eternity with him 

Having a human lover was something Jasper never expected. However when he met them he knew they were the only one for him. Pink lips and soft skin. Hair that shaped their perfect face. Absolutely amazing in his opinion. They met in college in a art class. He had been forced into the class by Alice who wouldn't explain why. When he saw them he finally understood. His soulmate. The soft way they spoke and the passion in their eyes. Jasper couldn't help but indulge his once human emotions. His heart racing for the individual in front of him. He knew this would be his downfall.

When they finally introduced themselves to him Jasper couldn't help but notice their bright eyes. His eyes were drawn to the breathtaking color. And when they smiled he felt Cupid's arrow sink into his very soul.

"I'm Y/n," They say offering their hand to him. He smiles at the beauty in front of him. Stunning. Their soft voice was enough to make Jasper melt right there. "You are?"

"Jasper Hale," He says smiling at them.

"Well Jasper Hale I don't suppose a handsome fellow like yourself would want to join me for lunch?" They offer. They are so bold. Jasper was taken back. Someone so perfect for him.

"I would love to," he says offering his hand. They take it smiling at him. That damn smile. Jasper couldn't get it out of his mind.

One date turned into another and then another. Until it finally started getting serious. Unlike Edward and Bella, Jasper was in no rush to bring them into the mess with the Cullens. Instead he used their time together as an escape from the bloodsucking nightmare. Carlisle made him tell his partner after 6 months. Jasper, reluctant to bright someone so perfect into this disaster, prepared for everything to end. How could someone so perfect want to be with him? A life with no future?

"I don't want you to laugh," Jasper starts, "just listen to me please. Okay?"

"Okay?" They reply tensely.

"I'm a vampire."

They chuckle lightly. But upon seeing Jasper's stern expression they realize there wasn't a single joke in the statement.

"Suddenly you never eating makes sense," They reply, "you're the first boyfriend I've had that hasn't cleared my fridge."

"You aren't mad?" Jasper asks.

"I'm surprised but I love you Jasper," They tell him, "a couple pointy teeth and lack of a pulse won't stop that. You're my soulmate." Jasper smiles releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Those are the best words. He didn't expect those. He surely thought they would want to end this. "You okay?"

"So much more now," Jasper says as he moves to their said tackling them in soft kisses. Showing his appreciation in each one. He loves them so much. More than he'd ever be able to show.

They met the other Cullens. Bonding with them. Alice was their favourite by a long shot but they found comfort in Bella's attempts to help them adjust. They loved the family and blended well. After they first met Rose had instructed Jasper to propose before he let the only good one go.

"I mean it Jasper of all the people you've chased they are the only one that is worth it!" Rose exclaims, "if you let them go I'll kill you."

"Trust me i have no such intentions," Jasper says as he shows his family the ring. Alice squeals excitedly as the rest show their varying excitement.

"The oldest one finally settling down?" Emmet says clapping his hand against Jaspers back. "I'm proud of you dude."

"Took you long enough," Bella teases lightly.

"Not everyone fast tracks their entire relationship the way you guys did," Rose says giving Bella a slight glare.

"Can I be a braidsmaid!" Renseime asks him. Jasper chuckles.

"Well I have to ask first," Jasper says, "I've got it all planned out. But I'm gonna need you all to keep it a secret."

And they did. So when Jasper and his partner flew out to his loves hometown Y/n didn't suspect a thing.

It wasn't until Jasper move to kneel before them that they even realized what was happening.

"Jasper," They exclaim as they move their hand to cover their mouth. "Oh my god."

"We've only known each other for a short amount of time but I know that you are my soulmate," Jasper says as he grips their hand, "you are an amazing person. Breath taking, ridiculously sweet. Everything about you is just so perfect. You complete me Y/n. In all my years and I've had a lot. I've never met someone who makes me feel the way you make me feel. All the love and the joy you bring me. I want to spend the rest of my eternity with you. So will you marry me?"

"Yes god of course I'll marry you!"

They where amazing. Jasper knew that.

The wedding was sweet and simple. A forest wedding with all the cullens and their friends blending with Y/n's family. A blend of vampires, werewolves, and a humans. Supernatural would be jealous at this gathering. Jasper and Y/n shared loving vows. Their families couldn't be more happy for them.

The honey moon was over too fast and when they rejoined normal life everyone had one question. When was Jasper going to turn them?

Jasper and his spouse had never actually talked about it. They didn't want to. Jasper didn't really want to change them he knew the horrors they would have to go through and if he could avoid it he wanted to. But he also didn't want to live without them. Y/n on the other hand simply wasn't worried about it just yet. They had things they wanted to do first. They wanted a family and to go tan on faraway beaches. They wanted to taste food around the world first. When Jasper finally reached out to ask when or if  they would want to be turned Y/n have a list to Jasper. A list of everything she wanted to do first. Some where small things like eat the entire menu of their favorite restaurant, others were things like sky dive.

"You made a bucket list to go into your eternal life?" He asks them. Y/n nods their head.

"Yeah," They reply, "I mean technically I'm dying. And everything I want to do I won't be able to once you turn me. Unlike the rest of you I get to pick when I'm turned. So after this list is done I'll turn."

"It'll take years," Jasper replies, "It's perfect." They give him a smile.

To kick off the list Y/n quit their job. They hated the job. Like really hated their job. So they left in dramatic fashion. Crossing off item number one. Next they went to their favorite restaurant. Bella and Edward tagged along. Y/n sat and ate the entire menu. Or at least tried it all. They didn't regret a thing even after throwing it all up moments after getting in the car.

Next they went to Italy and tried hundreds of dishes. They tanned on the beach with their human best friend while Jasper stayed at the hotel room. They competed in sports and spent way too much time and money on changing their hair and getting piercing and tattoos.

The list was almost done the night everything changed.

Jasper had noticed his partner losing weight. He didn't understand why but his family assured him it was only natural. And his partner was still smiling. His worry died as fast as it started. But then more started happening. Soon it wasn't just the losing weight but they were getting sick more often. But this newest thing had raised every red flag.

"Jasper," They call from the couch. As he moves he sees them sitting in pure agony blood gushing from their nose. Jasper starts to move towards them but the sweep of hunger over him causes him to stay back. "Jas?"

"I'm sorry," He says softly, "I'll call Carlisle." They nod as they whip away the blood. Too weak to move from the floor where they fell in the first place. Jasper kept his distance while they waited for the older vampire. Trying to comfort his spouse from the kitchen. He could tell they were upset. They were suffering and it was killing Jasper not to be able to help. But the blood. The damn blood.

"We need to get them to the hospital," Carlisle says as he looks over the shrunken figure. "Now." Carlisle hands a rag to them and they wipe away the blood. The nature to protect his soul mate overrules the bloodlust. Jasper rushes towards his mate taking them and helping them into the car. At the hospital they automatically get her a room. Jaspers left in the waiting room with Esme and Alice who had come to help him. Both watching him carefully.

"I just- I can't believe I did that," Jasper says softly, "I left them there to sit alone because I was hungry."

"It's for the beat," Alice says softly, "if you bite them-"

"I'd never do that," Jasper says in soft terror, "Not like that. Not to hurt them."

"Shhhh we know that," Esme says softly, "we know that."

"Mr. Hale?" The doctor calls. Beside them Carlisle stands looking slightly guilty. Jasper stands moving towards him.

"How are they?" Jasper asks at once, "are they okay?"

The doctor looks to Carlisle.

"I won't lie," The doctor says softly, "their condition is a lot worse than we first thought."

"Can I see them?" Jasper asks at once. The doctors exchange a look then nod. Carlisle leads Jasper back to the room. The first thing the blonde sees is Y/n connected to machines. "Y/n oh my god-" Tears well in his eyes. He moves to their side.

"Leukemia," Carlisle says softly, "it's bad and has spread throughout her body- Jasper I need you to listen to me carefully. The doctor that has been taking care of her is a friend of mine. He's like us- he offered to turn her. I'm leaving it up to you. But with how bad her condition is if she isn't turned she'll die." Jaspers golden eyes widen in the shock. The couple have been avoiding this day and as if a cruel joke by fate what they expected to face years in the future is here now.

"This is their decision," Jasper says softly. His body fighting the venom filled tears. "I can't make it for them."

"Jasper they'll die-"

"It's not my decision," Jasper says more sternly this time, "we have to wait for them to make it."

"Are you prepared for if they say no?" Carlisle asks. His voice his quiet. Jasper doesn't reply. His body tenses in reaction. Truly he isn't prepared for either decision.

"I have to be," Jasper says finally, "if they would rather have their remaining time then I'll be there for them."

"It's gonna be hard Jas," Carlisle says softly.

"Well that's what I signed up for," Jasper says with a sigh, "when will they wake up?"

"Soon," Carlisle says looking to Y/n. "I'll send Alice in. She's better at the support then me." Jasper isn't listening. Instead he's letting the pain and fear from his partners body seep into his. How did he not notice this before? Was he so distracted by the soft smiles that he wasn't paying attention? God how could he let his partner suffer like this.

"Jas?" A tired voice croaks out. He snaps from his thoughts to the worn figure. Y/n. He moves to their side at once.

"Y/n," He says softly, "darlin."

"God that accent is hot," They say giving him an exhausted smirk. Jasper chuckles sadly. "It's bad huh?"

"Leukemia advance stages," Jasper replies softly, "Carlisle says they give you a couple weeks. They caught it way too late."

"Man nature really wants to punish us for the whole vampire human shit," They say softly, "so I'm gonna die Huh?"

"There are options," Jasper starts, "treatment might work but it's a small chance and it will make you feel worse, and well-" Jasper doesn't even want to say it.

"I could be turned?" They ask softly. Their voice barely a whisper.

"Carlisle or the doctor could do it," Jasper admits, "Carlisle is a good friend of the doctor. That's why he brought you here. You won't be able to finish your list but you'll live." Jasper can't bring himself to look at his partner. "But It'll be unpleasant. It hurts like a bitch. You'll have to go without saying goodbye to your friends and family." Tears well in Y/n's eyes. They always thought that they have a better chance to say goodbye to her family. But she can't leave Jasper. It's selfish but damn they went through a shitty life and finally found one thing that made them happy yet the universe wouldn't leave them alone. How's that fair? "It's up to you."

"Why can't you turn me?" The moment the question leaves their mouth they want to take it back. It's a stupid question.

"I can't stop myself," Jasper says softly, "I'd end up killing you." They bite their lip.

"Will you stay with me when they do it?" They asks softly, "please Jas I'm scared."

That destroyed Jasper. Those words made him feel like losing it right there.

"I'll be right here," Jasper says giving them a soft smile.

"Then I want to be turned," they say softly, "just- let me call my mom first." He nods. They dial the number. Explaining a story about a car accident how they didn't have much time left. Sobs left their body. Jasper felt so much guilt in house body. If only he noticed it faster. He'd be able to give them more time with their family. With their friends. Jasper stepped out and told Carlisle.

"I'll do it," Carlisle says softly, "if she's afraid then it'll make her more comfortable to see someone she trusts."

"Fine," Jasper says softly, "she wants me there."

"Are you going to be able to handle that?" Carlisle asks.

"I have to," Jasper says softly, "I'm having her turn herself into a vampire against all her better judgement. She has to leave everything behind the least I can do is be there for her."

"I understand."

As Jasper returns to her room she has her knees buried in her chest. Sobs escaping her body. She's terrified and devastated. Her emotions practically suffocating him. How could one person feel so much? How could they handle this?

"You don't have to If you don't want to," Jasper says as he takes their hand, "you don't have to be turned."

"I want to spend eternity with you," they reply as they wipe their eyes, "I just didn't think it would be this hard to let go." He moves pulling them into a soft kiss. Tears streaming along his lovers face now smearing along his cheeks.

God how did Edward do this? Or think he could rather. Every single part of this makes Jasper want to rip his head off his shoulders. It hurts so bad. Their emotions, Jaspers own. God he just wants to scream enough for both of them. As he pulls away Y/n smiles at him. It's weak. Conflicted. But purely them.

"I'm ready," They say softly.

"Okay," Jasper says softly. He grips their hand tightly. Carlisle enters the room giving the pair a soft smile.

"Are you sure about this?" Carlisle asks the human. They nod. Jasper looks away as Carlisle moves to bite his spouse. Loud painful scream leaves their body. He feels the pure agony seep into his soul. He wants to puke. Not that anything would even come up. Carlisle pulls away and wipes his mouth. Then quickly addresses their wound. wrapping tight bandages. Jasper feels their grip loosen until it completely disappears. He starts to panic but Carlisle holds him back.

"Give them some time. The venom takes a minute," Carlisle assures him, "in the mean time you need to get some things for them to eat. You better prepare to deal with a newborn."

"I know how to handle them better than anyone else," Jasper says looking to the other man. "Trust me."

Jasper wasn't prepared for it to take three days. Three days for his partner to heal. To fully change.

Carlisle brought them home. And when Jaspers eyes set one them. A smile spread across his face. His mate. His other half. Alive and well - or well neither of those. They aren't gone. But they still are dead. He forgets about that part. Guilt hits him. They move placing a hand on Jaspers cheek. Suddenly his negative emotions are washed away. He's happy?

"You Can influence emotions?" He asks. They nod. He smirks at them. Slightly proud of the power. "I love you. I'm sorry this all happened so fast."

"Life is hard and unpredictable," They reply, "we knew we'd have to face this one day. And at the end I'm glad I still get to be with you." He smiles then moves connecting his lips to theirs.

He wouldn't let them go. He'd hold onto them for forever.

[pan0ramy]

re8 thought dump because YE

i feel like this was almost inevitable but idk where else to talk about resident evil village so i’m just going to rant about it here!!! i have,,,, a lot of thoughts on this game after being so excited for it for so long

obviously, massive spoilers if you haven’t finished the game. i feel like i have thoughts on pretty much everything so please please please stay clear of this post if you’re trying to stay blind

otherwise, let me just rant about this game for a bit - mainly the story and characters - because i have Thoughts™

(also i feel like it goes without saying but this will be probably be quite long, so. strap in, ig)

okay SO. the whole intro was pretty interesting - even though we’d seen bits of it in trailers, it was still pretty unnerving and felt like it came out of nowhere. but the first thing that really stood out was the first village section with the hordes of lycans; i didn’t expect this game to start freaking me out so quickly but JESUS my blood pressure went up fast. 

there’s so many of them coming at you at once, and not only have you just lost half your damn hand, you’re not really used to the gunplay at that point AND you don’t have that many weapons at your disposal. so it’s basically just “hey we’re throwing you into this ring of death, good luck surviving!” which... now that i think about it, that really sums up the whole game lol

but for the most part, the early parts of the game are what we saw in the demos, so there’s nothing too new - it was nice getting to see the scene with all four lords and mother miranda, though. i wasn’t sure how the whole chase scene with the lycans would work - i thought heisenberg’s area was going to be some sort of mine, and that the chase would take place there - but it didn’t, and it was interesting regardless of it being so short. 

but the castle. THE CASTLE. 

i would be lying through my teeth if i said i wasn’t excited for dimitrescu like everybody else; i’m firmly in the camp of people who both meme about how attractive she is, and then also the people who legitimately find her attractive, soooo i kinda had high expectations going in? 

and sure, the castle section is only part of the game, but if there’s anything that makes me nervous most, it’s stalker enemies. resi 2 remake was actually pretty tough for me to get through because of how anxiety-inducing mr x was, and even though i don’t feel like she was as present as mr x was, lady d was still great! there were a good few times where you could hear her walking around and you just knew she was searching for you, which was really damn cool.

also, i know capcom had a lot of hype to live up to with lady dimitrescu, but goddamn they did such a great job with her. she’s so imposing but badass and just... really damn cool? like i honestly found myself being excited for her to show up rather than being scared. i just think she’s neat! I MEAN LOOK AT HER.

(also yes i know the whole internet has talked about how attractive she is, but can we just. appreciate that for a second???? she’s gorgeous and yall can’t tell me otherwise. like. bro ik the pronunciation is wrong but the way she says dimitrescu made me GASP i love this powerful vampire woman)

if anything, though, i... actually felt really bad that her story ended up the way it did. i mean, think about it: you break into her house, kill the three people she’s grown to consider her daughters, rob her shit, and then kill her? she technically goes through the same kind of parental grief that ethan does, in a way, which is a really interesting parallel. grief seems to be a theme that capcom really pushed for this game, and it works. 

also, her boss fight design is badass. she’s literally a dragon, how is that not incredible

so the castle was great, where could the game go from here? oh, i don’t know, how about gOOD OLD FASIONED FUCKING TRAUMA.

jesus christ the dollhouse GOT TO ME.

i’m pretty used to horror in general; i love horror games, movies, books, you name it. i’ve gone to horror movies where people have ran out because of fear all while i’ve sat there giggling the whole time. but the dollhouse? that dollhouse is FUCKED. i can’t remember the last time i watched someone play through a horror game and was so... on edge the whole time. the fact that they keep you waiting for so long with nothing happening just... makes the atmosphere incredibly uncomfortable, and then when shit does start going down, it goes down fast. in other words, jesus fucking christ that baby will haunt my nightmares until the end of time

basically capcom managed to make the n*zi baby joke from south park: the stick of truth legitimately terrifying, and i was glad to see donna die. moving on.

moreau’s section is the one i... actually don’t have as many thoughts on. it’s cool, sure, and the whole idea of him turning into a fish when he hits water is neat - it’s definitely a good callback to re4 - but idk, it didn’t really scare me that much. i can see it scaring those with a fear of water or the ocean, for sure, but eh. i thought the designs were cool, but i kinda tuned out a little here.

heisenberg, though, was anything but. the entire time leading up to village’s release, this guy has fascinated me for some reason. i don’t know if it’s because he’s the most normal-looking of the four lords, or the fact that he has telekinesis, or his amazing voice acting (seriously i know some people have shit on his VA but oh my god i adore it) or what, but this guy stood out to me from day one. i even went into the game expecting him not to die tbh. but no, he does, and his fight is pretty damn cool all things considered. only in a resident evil game could you have a mech fight and have it not feel out of place lol

also this line ^^^ legitimately made me laugh so hard i almost choked on my water. THE FACT HE TURNS AROUND AND APOLOGISES SO MEEKLY its fucking hilarious to me

but anyway.

similar to alcina, though, i was left with one big question about heisenberg - what did mother miranda do to him to get him to join her impromptu familly? he said himself to ethan that he didn’t want to join, so what did miranda do that didn’t give him a choice? did he have a family at some point? is he grieving too? what did miranda take from him? i can only hope this gets answered in the dlc, because it’s by far one of my biggest questions surrounding all of this. i may very well have missed it somewhere, and at least we know he has his telekinesis abilities thanks to miranda, but it’s a question that’ll definitely be on my mind going forward.

at this point, though, the story REALLY gets insane. it’s really nice how village decided to just continue on straight from what 7 did, and i’m very glad that everyone’s theories about chris being a werewolf were wrong - it’s a really nice spanner to throw in the works. if anything, the whole revelation of mother miranda disguising herself as mia the whole time since rose’s birth was really cool, and ethan being Mold™ the entire time was pretty neat too - it made a lot of things both in 7 and village make more sense.

what i’m still digesting, though, is the ending.

...man, capcom, you put poor ethan through all of that and then you have the balls to actually kill him? i mean shit, you made us think he was dead for a whole 20 minutes but then nope! he’s alive! but then nope! he’s dead again! i did see someone point out that at least ethan got to go out on his own terms, but dammit i would’ve at least liked for him to get to see mia one last time. i think it would’ve softened the blow a little more. but i guess that ties into the whole grief theming this game has going for it, and like i said, i probably just need some more time to digest it. 

i don’t dislike the ending, it’s just a very big culture shock - it’s definitely a ballsy move, and i really respect capcom for going all out the way they did. they really held back on nothing in terms of this game’s story and i absolutely love it. it was so, so worth the wait in that regard. 

and tbh that’s kinda how i feel about the whole game in general; it was super super good, very much worth the wait, and i absolutely cannot wait to see where resident evil goes from here. i have a gut feeling this’ll end up being one of my absolute favourites in the series, which i know is very high praise, but i really do love it that much. i wasn’t disappointed with much in this game, if anything at all. it’s just a super fucking good video game man idk what else to say at this point

[space-blue]

The Dreamcaster

Bit of a filthy love letter to Inception.

I saw the trap the moment I stepped into the parlour.

The goons stood out like warts on a Courtesan's smooth backside. Such glaring display was surely bait, inviting nervous people to lose their cool and turn around.

I walked past with the carefree gait and flowing robes of a rich patron. I didn't let my gaze linger on them, the man I played tonight would be too righteous to care. I reached the counter and asked to join the public session, two hours worth of Dream. I gave my fake name and ID, paid in cash. The men didn't react to me but that guaranteed nothing, so I started a mental list of potential enemies. I knew of five serious ones, six, if counting personal vendettas. I reviewed grudges in order of threat and seriousness as the young hostess showed the way to a lounge-room.

I wondered if it could be Hamsworth keeping tabs on me. I was months behind the man's deadline. I love deadlines, especially the noise they make as they fly by.

The goons could be some of my target's henchmen, left in the lobby while their master drooled in some drug infused paradise, but that would be an unexplainable change of attitude. After all, my target kept his Dream addiction so secret that he always moved alone and disguised himself a lot more than I ever care to and I'm the outlaw.

I am a Dreamcaster. One plagued with a busy body and mind.

I could never settle for the easy life of a parlour, making up worlds for anxious patrons to play in, managing them down rosy plots to ludicrous, fulfilling ends that would leave sweet submemories to mend their broken souls. Humdrum, wretched work! I strive on challenges. I cast like no one else: I can fake true life, give a taste to sounds, I can imagine colours that don't exist. I can take a Dreamer by the hand and have him walk me through his mind-palace with pride and honour. Which is, incidentally, one of the many aspects that make me a criminal, and the very task I was paid to execute tonight.

The hostess opened the door of a small, cushioned room. She smiled as she handed me a tray with needles, plastic straps and a little piece of disinfecting gauze. She left to fetch a vial of this session's Dream. No prattle, no explanations. No need for them: my arms were already out of my sleeves, both covered with the black tattoos that ran along the veins of professionals and junkies alike.

I wasn't done disinfecting myself when the door opened again.

'That was fast.'

The laugh that answered was manly. I didn't make it to my feet before other manly things crashed against me and pined me to the cushions. Four men loomed above, three holding me and one flicking at the glass of a syringe with a smile, all strangers. They had the rough faces of long-time mercenaries.

'I can inject myself, thanks,' I said, dripping sarcasm and not quite breaking character yet.

The fourth man laughed again and bent down to where his colleague held my right arm in a lock.

'I very much doubt you would.'

Then I saw the syringe properly. Its long needle dripped black. My whole body broke in a sweat.

'Oh no, no, no, you can't! Fuck, mate, you can't! Not Nightmare! Why?!'

The man plunged the needle in the dark maze of my tattooed veins. I shrieked, giving it all I had while the black sludge sank into me.

'You've been a bad man Mr Kureno,' the man said.

'Well, what the fuck does that make you mate?!'

'I'm only a delivery man. You should be grateful, now you'll be sleeping too tight to feel the trip.'

'To where? To whom?'

Darkness choked my thoughts before he could answer.

I started awake, panting, sweat plastering my hair to my skull. I was home, sitting in my bed, jumped halfway out of my kimono, sheets rumpled around my legs. Nightmares of thugs putting me under Nightmare? Next level shit. Probably a stray natural dream.

'Kure?'

I perked up. It was my mother calling me.

'Kureno?'

I froze. Yes. It was my mother. My ten-years-dead mother, coming up the stairs of a house I had burned down myself the day she'd died.

I looked at the crook of my arm and saw some gauze covering the vein the villains had pricked in that nightmare. I reached for it and started to pull. The skin came out with the gauze, flesh sloughing off my arm.

A false awakening! These men had really put me under to take me somewhere! In a second I was on my feet, dread pushing my stomach up my throat. I reached inwards, using the mental cues to access old memories.

I was trained in Nightmare, more than most too, but that meant nothing. With Nightmare, you had the stuff five times in your life and you were a veteran! I have thousands of hours of work on Dream, my brain grew on the drug, developed my reflexes for it. Nightmare stimulates different networks, it warps your subconscious perceptions, reverses the laws of the whole game. It would play my own habits against me.

I squatted, gathering myself for the push that ought to get me flying. Instead the air turned to thick jelly against my body, gravity pressing me to the floor.

Typical Nightmare dynamics.

'Kureno?'

My mother opened the door. She looked at me with empty eye-sockets, her twisted mouth pulled taunt against white jaw bones.

'What is it child,' she asked, reaching for my face, 'why won't you come down?'

I made to step back, my feet dragging, her hand just as slowly brushing past me, a battle in slow-motion.

'You're dead you know?' I said to my mother's dried, charred face. 'I burnt the house to the ground with you in it. That's why you're here. No matter how right it was to do, it's still the stuff of nightmare, these memories.'

With some effort I cleared my mind to trigger a new iteration. The nightmare reset itself, and as my old house and dead mother disappeared, I fell.

I tore through the air, an upside down townscape blurring in my sight. The sensation of falling was so vivid I cried in panic. None of my probes shaped the world as they should. I was in true free fall.

'Hey!'

I twisted around to find a man falling with me. Tall, lanky, with short, jet black hair over green eyes, my spitting image without any tattoos: my twin brother, Koharu. His aura however did not match his body. It was, and wasn't my brother. Such misplacement is common in natural dreams, and it felt aweful.

'Kureno,' my brother's image called, coming down on a level with me, 'grab my hand!'

'Fuck off.'

'Kureno, you'll die if you don't!'

I flipped over, feet down to the abyss of the sky, arms catching the wind, the crazy shapes of the world swirling out of reach.

'It's a Nightmare. Dying would just start a new iteration!'

'The ground is coming up,' he yelled, horror in his voice. It was. Somehow the sky had become a solid thing. Koharu caught my loose kimono, and I grabbed for his hand to pull him close.

It broke.

Shattered at the wrist like a twig, a flawed porcelain handled too rough. We stared at each other, stupefied, swallowed by the certainty of our death.

Reality hit me like a ton of brick.

I was on all fours, retching. Waking isn't like in movies, when you're never sure if you aren't still dreaming. Puking your guts out while awake never feels dreamy enough for such doubts. Koharu's hand was on my back, holding me while I gathered my wits. We were in a corner of his lab. I remembered now, my twin injecting me with his latest batch of so-called "innovation". We often work together. He's the smart one, I'm the artist.

'How much are you paying me to trial that black crap again?' I asked, wiping my face with a trembling hand.

'We'll discuss a raise once you've spat your analyses. Out with it, I want it fresh!'

'First iteration was incredible convincing. Instinctual theme, solid narrative structure, I was working a Tour-type Dreamcast. Paranoia heavy, but lowered wariness.' I detailed the attack, the subsequent false awakening, the free-fall, reviewed my feelings and sensations. 'If I hadn't woken up in our old house I might not have realised I was on Nightmare at all. Mother was there.'

We exchanged glassy looks.

'I could reset the iteration,' I went on, 'but other commands were completely ineffective. Whatever you're planning to do with this new variant, it will throw off anyone, trained or not.'

'Kureno,' he said, smirking at me with my very own favourite grin, 'this new Nightmare will throw off the whole world.'

~~ March 2016 – Nightmares

[shadowsof-thenight]

Where our story begins: Chapter five

Story summary: This is a victorian era AU Home is where our story begins, but how does one know where home is? 


Julia has a good life. A calm life. She really doesn’t have much to complain about. That is, until a handsome stranger steps into their home in the country and all that calmness seems to disappear instantly. Who is this man that seems to terrorise everyone with his haughty ways?


Ship: Bucky Barnes X OFC-Julia

Warnings: Angst

Words: 5048

***

A/N: I want to apologise for taking this long to write another chapter. I’ve been struggling with finding the right tone with all my stories. Hopefully I’ll be better from now on. Hopefully it was worth the wait.

And as always, feedback is appreciated!

If you wish to be tagged, let me know!

And a special thanks to @gnomewithalaptop​ for the amazing help provided! I am beyond grateful!

***

Masterlist                                          

Story Masterlist

Julia sat up in her bed, her heart hammering in her chest as she glanced around the deep darkness that surrounded her. She could hear another stumble from the adjacent room, and she sprung up and ran towards the sound. She worried that her father had gotten up once again, stumbling in a feverish haze. Afraid that he would hurt himself, she moved quickly with the hope that she could get him back in bed before that happened. The length of his sickbed frightened her, and his feverish ramblings only increased the feeling. In her haste, she had forgone both slippers and a robe, but she didn’t register the cold as she ran—she was too focused on getting to her father to give it any more attention.

As she reached the room in which her father still resided, she noticed the door was standing ajar, and an eerily familiar feeling stopped her in her tracks. Soft voices wafted through the nearly invisible crack, and relief washed over her at the realisation that someone had already reached him. The feeling of safety was cut short, however, when she recognised the voices. Confused, she stepped closer, curiosity peaking now that she knew James was with her father. Why would he be? And why did he spit his words out? Dit he have a reason to be angry?

Quietly, she tried to push the door open a little more and found that the large space was lit by a single candle. It wasn’t enough to give her a clear line of sight, but she could make out two dark outlines next to the bed. James towered over her father, and she tried to remember if he had ever seemed quite this tall. Her father seemed to cower in his presence, confusing her even more. She had always known him to be a proud man, standing tall through any ordeal. There was no rhyme or reason to the sight before her, and she stood still as she tried to decipher the scene.

Their voices weren’t loud enough to carry their message to her ears, but their tone was clear and she could’ve sworn that her name was mentioned once or twice. But that wasn’t what got to her—it was the secretive behaviour of them speaking in the dead of night that chilled her to the bone and kept her body frozen in the doorway. She knew she had to do something; tell them to go to bed, or perhaps she should just leave—but her feet wouldn’t move and her mouth was too dry to speak.

Then James finally appeared to lose his temper and he stepped even closer to her father, the grimace on his face crystal clear despite the lack of light, and his finger poked the older man in the chest.

“You know what I’m capable of.” The words were spat and there was a menacing tone to his voice that Julia had never heard before. Her heart clenched in fear and she wanted to help her father, defend him.

“My apologies, sir,” her father whimpered, and her heart skipped a beat at the broken sound. His use of sir surprised her; they were of the same rank, not to mention acquaintances—there was no need for such a formality.

“I will need payment eventually,” James said, his tone softer now. He appeared tired now, suddenly defeated and Julia’s head reeled from the sudden change.

That was the moment her limbs decided to listen to her brain again and she stepped into the room, moving towards her father. James’s head shot in her direction and before she could worry about her state of undress, she stopped dead in her tracks over something else entirely. His eyes weren’t the icy blue she had gotten used too—they were bright red. 
A scream died in her throat as she stood there, while he moved in on her with unbelievable speed.

***

Sitting up in her bed, her breath ragged and her heart beating wildly in her chest, Julia wondered if she would ever get a full night of sleep again. Exhaustion was dragging her movements, but the nightmare had reared its head every single night these past two weeks. She didn’t really understand why they happened, nor why James’s role was so dark in them—he hadn’t done anything to dignify it. The red eyes were a new addition, however, and though she blamed it on the novel she had recently read, she prayed for the night where the dream would disappear.

Bringing her hands up to rub her face, she was surprised to find tears on her cheeks. Quickly, she swiped them away, a tad angry at herself for letting her emotions run ragged. With a deep sigh, she turned towards the window, and despite the heavy curtains that hung before it, she could tell that it was still dark. Wide awake and unsettled, she moved towards the candle on her nightstand, lighting it swiftly.

Julia was cold, a chill set deep into her bones that even the multitude of blankets could not challenge. The horror of her dream had set ablaze her heart, and the sensation was strange when combined with the chill, as if, her body could no longer decide what to do—cool her off or warm her up. Rationally, she was well aware that it had only been a dream, but the knowledge did nothing to soothe her frayed nerves. She hoped the light from the candle would help. In the weak glow, she tried to refocus her brain by identifying all the shadows in her peripheral.

It wasn’t working.

The shadows dancing around the small light seemed far more frightening than ever before.  As if they were hiding figures that meant her harm. Eventually, after recounting all items in her room, she gave up trying—getting up instead and moving around her room, to see beyond the shadows. It was just her and her furniture—there was nothing there to scare her. Again, her frayed nerves weren’t listening. With another deep sigh, she sat down in a chair by the fire, pulling a thick blanket around herself. She doused the candle, afraid to cause a fire if she was lucky enough to fall asleep, and stared into the dancing flames of the fire in her hearth. It was slowly dying, but it still gave off just enough heat to provide a battle against the cold inside of her.

Julia tried to convince herself that nothing was amiss. Her father was sound asleep in the room next to hers—she could hear his snores through the wall. James had beautiful blue eyes, not red ones and he wasn’t some monster from her novels. He might have been crude upon his arrival, but he had not been cruel or intimidating after that first night. The only person he had been angry with was his valet, and the young man hadn’t seemed to mind one bit. He was still full of smiles. She knew her dream had no validity in reality, even if the fear proved hard to shake.

Her heartbeat finally slowed and the shaking in her limbs was brought back to a minimum. The dancing flames had a lulling effect as she stared into the smouldering hearth, and since she was far too old to hide underneath the blankets of her mother, she settled in the chair—ready for another sleepless night. Blanket pulled high up to her nose, she leaned against the chair and spent the rest of the night on the balance between sleeping and awake.

***

Still exhausted, Julia wandered the large garden behind her house, letting the cold winds wake her up. As he had done every day since their first walk 15 days ago, James joined her. He noticed she was uncharacteristically quiet and he observed her posture, as she stared at the grass they walked on. He didn’t need to see her face to know she wasn’t sleeping; he knew the signs all too well—he was just not certain how to address the issue. Carefully, he inquired how she was doing, not wanting to push any boundaries—that was more her forté. When she shrugged it off, he prodded gently; confessing that her demeanour appeared different, quieter, which she could not deny at the moment, though she hadn’t been quiet before this morning. If anything, she had spoken more, about silly things, anything to fill the silence, afraid that comfortable silence would lull her to sleep. And though she tried to deny his claims, he wasn’t relenting, gently pressing the subject and she silently cursed his observing nature.

“I am good, perhaps somewhat fatigued,” she finally offered after a few more moments of that dreaded silence, combined with his unrelenting stares. He was concerned and it was nice, even if she wished he would not see through her facade.

She glanced up at him to find him pondering his next words. They kept moving through the carefully crafted garden, passing the same bushes for the third time, when she went left instead of right and led him into her favourite part of the garden—the wildflowers. It was was less structured; her mother had thought that wildflowers deserved as much, and silly as it might have been, it was where Julia felt most comfortable. It reminded her of the fields through which she rode her horse sometimes.

“Have you been worried?” James asked after a while and she wondered why that would be his first guess. She nodded, admitting it for the first time and he sighed. He wished he knew how to help her.

“How did you know?” She asked finally and he smiled, a real smile, one that reached his eyes. He still rarely displayed them, even if it made him quite handsome. The fact that he bestowed it upon her warmed her heart, it showed his empathy so clearly. His uncaring attitude was just a facade, she knew now. And it made her wonder what had him hiding from the world.

“It happens to me as well,” he said with a shrug, trying to play it off as unimportant.

Julia was intrigued by the little peek into his psyche that he offered her, and she stopped walking to look at him. He seemed uncomfortable, though he didn’t hide behind the uncaring mask again. She understood he was baring himself for her and she didn’t want the moment to end just yet.

“Do you have many worries?” She asked bravely, standing just a little too close to him.

James sighed deeply as he stared into her warm eyes, the emotion behind them inviting him to bare his soul. It wasn’t something he was used too, and it scared him more than he liked to admit. He had already been more vulnerable with her than he had been with anyone else in a very long time, and it felt unreal and also a little dangerous. Trusting others had often proved to be a far too risky endeavour.
Not that any of it truly mattered in this moment though, for he had no clue how to explain his deepest darkest thoughts to her. It was impossible to explain the exhaustion that settled deep inside his bones, making every movement of limbs a little harder each day. It had been months since he’d had a good night's sleep, and he was afraid he might’ve forgotten what it was like. But more than that, there was too much weighing on his mind, and the exhaustion from that was more difficult than physical tiredness could ever be. There seemed no reprieve for the worry that settled in his brain, a constant companion now, and he wished once more that he could finally go home.

Home was where he knew the people, all the nooks and crannies of the place he lived in. Home was where there was trust and he hoped that it would be where he could finally close his eyes again. He hoped the tense muscles would finally find a way to relax, to unravel the knots in them. He hoped that he would be able to turn his mind off, if only for a little while. He needed it so desperately that he could feel it in his nerves. How does one convey such a message? Especially without telling her of his biggest worry—the secrets that her family kept from her, the ones he was here to reveal.

Upon seeing the emotions pass through his eyes, Julia unconsciously stepped closer to him, willing it to ease his pain. The ruffles of her skirt brushed his ankles and his heart beat just a little faster as he realised how close she was. Worry for him shone clear in her eyes as she regarded him, and he wondered what words were burning on her tongue—certain that she was fighting the urge to speak freely. Still, she did not press, didn’t urge him to share his secrets; instead, she just looked at him with care. And just like that, her mere presence made him wish to tell her. He suddenly wanted to share his burden with her, even though he knew he should not. They were still in the process of getting to know one another, she had no loyalty to him. Besides, if she found out why he was here, she’d turn from him. Perhaps she’d even despise him, and he was certain that he couldn’t handle that after opening up to her.

He took a steadying breath and opened his mouth, uncertain of what to say, but knowing that she deserved some elaboration. After all, she had been open and honest with him as well. He was saved the trouble when hurried footsteps could be heard approaching and Julia was suddenly aware of the close proximity in which they were standing. Quickly, she stepped back, a deep crimson blush spreading on her cheeks and neck. The sight was so lovely that James fought to urge to steal a kiss. Clearing his throat, he took another step away from her, creating a safe distance.

Julia couldn’t meet his eyes, and she took a deep breath to steady her nerves, bracing herself to face the rest of the world again. Whatever connection they had made was now gone, and the few steps between them suddenly seemed far greater than it had before, and she wasn’t sure what to make of her feelings about that. She was confused and needed a moment to collect her thoughts. Just then, Mary reached them—out of breath and radiating a happiness that was infectious.

“Sir Alexander has arrived!” Mary happily exclaimed, excitedly moving in place.

Momentarily forgetting about her worries, a big bright smile broke out on Julia’s face. She knew Mary was as fond of him as she was. He had a highly contagious demeanour that pulled people in. It was a rare occasion in which Alexander did not smile and spread his merry humour. People were often instantly enamoured by the man, and Julia was yet to meet anyone that disliked him. The closest they had come, was when an elderly family member had confessed to needing the calm that left the room as soon as Alexander entered it. But even that man could not deny the likability of Alex.

Jumping in place and clapping her hands excitedly, Julia was unable to restrain herself not that her eager waiting was over. She would finally be able to hug him and his beautiful wife. She glanced back at James, who stood even further from her now, and he smiled as he watched the joy spread through her like lightning. He nodded almost imperceptibly, silently agreeing that this was the end of their walk and their conversation. She returned the gesture, before taking off—hastily walking towards the front of the house where she was certain he would still be getting off the coach that had brought him to her. James and Mary followed her at a slower pace, though they were not too far behind.

“Julia!” Alexander called out as soon as she rounded the corner that brought her to the front entrance of the manor and she smiled brightly as she caught sight of the tall, blond-haired man standing by his coach.

Alexander had been directing his valet, but he quickly halted his actions upon seeing his sister. He took quick, large strides towards her and pulled Julia into a tight embrace as soon as he got close enough. Her feet quickly left the ground and he twirled her through the air, laughing loudly as he heard his mother gasp at the display. He always did like toeing boundaries. Julia giggled happily at his antics, playfully slapping his chest as he put her down.

“What a sight for sore eyes,” he exclaimed dramatically, stepping back from her and taking in her appearance. Julia shook her head—it was part of his charm to never be without a compliment. Often people waved it off as mindless flattery, but Julia knew better. Alexander was bad at lying; he only complimented people he cared for. After all, he had been taught the same lesson as she was by their grandmother; ‘don’t speak harm.’ All her grandchildren had taken it to heart.

“I’ve missed you!” Julia said, still smiling brightly—her worries suddenly seemed like a lifetime ago. They would surely resurface in a short while, but she would enjoy the reprieve. It took her a moment, but she finally remembered her manners and turned towards the man that had been in her company previously.

“James,” she said and beckoned him closer, “This is m—.”

“Bucky!” Alexander spoke over her. “Good to see you, my friend,” he exclaimed and Julia glanced between the two men in confusion, as they greeted one another with a familiarity that was usually reserved for close acquaintances. James’s smile equaled that of Alexander in brightness and she could not help but smile as a light ignited in his blue eyes.

As she watched them quickly catch up on the latest news, Carolina snuck up on her, and Julia was quick to hug her close, making sure to let her friend know how much she had missed her companionship. Carolina was a good five centimetres shorter than Julia and compared to Alexander she looked impossibly tiny and frail. Julia knew that it was only appearances, as she knew few people as strong-minded as Carolina. It was her spirit that Julia most admired.  She stood her ground, adapted easily to new situations and she could counter Alexander in stubbornness.

“It is so good to see you,” Carolina returned the sentiments with a bright smile.

“Carolina, let me introduce you to Lord James Buchanan Barnes,” Alexander said as he guided the man towards his wife. “We went to school together.”

The short sentence had been enough to understand the situation, and soon enough, Julia remembered mentions of a Bucky on the weeks that her brother came home from his studies. She had simply never made the connection to James. Who would have, she wondered. After all, Bucky was a far cry from James.

The greetings on the front lawn had been happy, though short as Josephine soon ushered everyone inside for tea. And Julia relished in the stories her brother provided as they sipped their beverages. She understood once more what her elderly family member meant when he had mention the loss of calm. It had been a while since the sitting room had been quite as noisy—though she would not complain.

All too soon the moment ended, however, and the group split up. After given the newly arrived couple time to change out of their travelling clothes, everyone had business to attend too.  Josephine went back to supervise the dinner preparation, James and Alexander locked themselves in the library, asking not to be disturbed, and Julia and Carolina went up to the rooms of the married couple—getting them situated.

***

Carolina was incredibly curious about James, having heard plenty of stories about the man. Apparently, Alexander often spoke highly of the camaraderie he shared with the gentleman. Her interest had also been sparked by the lack of information in Julia’s letters. Open as their relationship was, Carolina had expected to have heard more about the houseguest.

Julia truly did want to inform her, though she was hesitant. The interactions between her and James had been strained at the time of the letter, but they had improved ever so much since then—would she do James a disservice to speak ill of his earlier behaviour?  Eventually she relented; her kind sister-in-law would not judge someone on old mistakes, nor would she share what was spoken to her in confidence. And so she told Carolina of his strange and sometimes rude behaviour upon his arrival and his subsequent apology to her mother. Julia also talked about witnessing the scolding of his valet, though she confessed not knowing the reason behind it, as well as the fact that it did seem that the valet, Peter, did not take the words to heart—his smiles hadn’t once faltered.

Julia went on to tell Carolina about their walks, how their conversation had slowly deepened and got more comfortable. She neglected to speak of her bold and improper questions during their first walk though. She also kept their last conversation to herself—it seemed too personal to share. She was also still trying to figure out how she had felt about emotions it had stirred in her. So she kept her recount more factual, even as she realised how she had come to like their walks, his company, and their conversations. It occurred to her that his presence had a calming effect on her, his smart mind alluring and the kindness he bestowed on her had been heartwarming. If only she could ignore the tension with her parents, he would have been quite the suitor.

She was so caught up in her own musings that she missed Carolina’s knowing smile. Carolina recognised the look on Julia’s face, but she knew that the younger woman might not be ready to recognise her feelings. James clearly intrigued Julia, in a good way. Carolina had felt similar upon meeting Alexander; she had wanted to know more of the man, know him. And when she had, she had fallen in love. Carolina wanted the same for Julia, because in her opinion, there was nothing more beautiful than love.  

Mentally shaking herself, Julia then continued to tell Carolina about her biggest worry; her father’s continuing illness and ensuing feverish rantings. She still didn’t know what to make of it and Carolina had not words of wisdom to share on the subject either. George had always been the picture of calm and poise. The rantings were out of character and it shook them both.

“It must have been the fever speaking,” Carolina said, wishing to comfort Julia. “He might’ve read a story that influenced his words.”

“Indeed, perhaps that was it.”Julia smiled, as eager to accept the explanation as Carolina had been to offer it.

To break the undeniably tense silence that followed, Carolina turned the conversation around—wishing to analyse exactly why James accompanied Julia on her daily walks, wanting to know precisely what words were spoken.

Julia grinned, spotting the teasing nature of Carolina’s questions and wanting to match it. Therefore she said that the walks were often spent in silence, which Carolina was unsurprisingly not willing to accept. She knew Julia too well, silence wasn’t something she did very often. Her mind was too quick-witted, and never at rest. Upon meeting someone new, she would have questions, wishing to know people and to understand their behaviour.

****

When the sky turned to shades of pink and orange, Julia made her way down the stairs in her second-best evening gown—with the large number of guests, she suddenly wished she had not worn her new blue gown on James’ arrival. It would have been a perfect fit for the night. The red dress was gorgeous in its own way, but in Julia’s opinion, it paled in comparison. The wide hoop skirt was certainly less comfortable. The wide neckline was similar, though the cut of the dress placed more attention on the waist—the lace applications deftly pointing towards it. Still, she was confident enough as she made her way down the stairs.

The company had expanded with the arrival of her cousin Clint and his wife Natasha, her uncle Lord Philip, and their neighbour Lord Brock Rumlow. As always, Lord Rumlow made a spectacle of greeting her, pretending to be far more familiar with the family than he was���Julia tried her best to be gracious, even though it made her uncomfortable. During the last dinner where Lord Rumlow had accompanied the family, he had worked tirelessly to charm Julia and Josephine, but it hadn’t felt right. Julia had not been able to truly explain it, but her mother had easily accepted it, choosing not to push Julia on the subject—for this Julia had been incredibly grateful.

Seated between James and Alexander, Julia spent much of dinner questioning James about her brother’s antics in school, and Alexander had jokingly threatened his friend to keep quiet. James in turn would lean close, telling her stories in hushed tones, pretending to break his promises of secrecy. Julia couldn’t remember when she had last laughed this often, and she was thoroughly enjoying herself. What really surprised her though, was the lighter side that James had chosen to portray. The tension so often visible in his shoulders seemed to have been lifted as he joked with Alexander and herself. She liked this side of him, he seemed gentler, kinder, and far more approachable.

“Lord Barnes, how are you enjoying your stay in the country?” The voice of Lord Rumlow boomed through the room, swiftly drawing the attention of the entire party.

James stopped his retelling of his first experience with Alexander’s stubbornness mid-sentence and stared at the man across from him. All conversation at the table stilled; people were curious about the visitor. The rest of the people in the room had known each other for years, some even their whole lives. It was to be expected that he would be questioned. James had prepared for it, so he placed a gentle smile on his face, ready to answer the myriad of questions that would likely follow.

“Quite well. It’s beautiful here, and Lord and Lady Fitzgerald have been very hospitable,” James replied. His voice was soft, gentle and calm.

Julia smiled at his kind words and looked at Lord Rumlow, expecting another question—she was surprised to see his smile turn into a glare. Apparently that had not been the answer he had wanted. Confused, she awaited what would be said next.

“Indeed, they are,” Lord Rumlow stated, offering a curt smile before adding, “And when will you be travelling onward?”

The tension that had dissipated from James’s body quickly returned at the impertinent question, and Julia suppressed a gasp while her heart skipped a beat. Her father’s knife clattered against his plate and everyone in the room fell silent. If either of her parents had asked the question, it would have been considered a thinly veiled attempt at telling him that he had overstayed his welcome. Lord Rumlow had no right to implicate this. Julia was just happy to know that her father had been bedridden and had not been in contact with their neighbours—this would ensure that this crudeness could not be blamed on her parents. Lord Rumlow knew the implications of his words—he had spoken them deliberately—and Julia wondered what the response would be.

A proper host would intervene and answer in lieu of their guest, reminding them that they were most welcome—and yet her father hesitated. Julia assumed that this was due to his recent illness—this was his first dinner since then. Therefore she glanced at her mother, only to see Josephine stare between George and Lord Rumlow with shock evident on her face. Perhaps her mother was too kind-hearted to react swiftly; she wouldn’t have anticipated such behaviour. Julia instantly knew that neither of her parents were ready to parry the implication.

“Not for a while yet, we hope.” Julia spoke, too eager to come to James’ aide to consider her words. “We’ve quite enjoyed his company.”

Next to her Alexander cleared his throat—the sound was surprisingly similar to a repressed chuckle and Julia’s eyes grew wide as she realised the implications of her words. From her mother it could’ve been seen as a compliment to his character. From her, it could also be interpreted as a confirmation of their courting. It was not what she had meant, and she had not wanted to put James in the position it put him in. Lord Rumlow’s eyes darkened as he regarded her and her breath got stuck in her throat.

“Indeed, we have,” Josephine agreed with her daughter, eager to assist in defending their guest.

“As have I.” James smiled kindly at Josephine. His shoulders relaxed a little bit and he leaned back in his chair as his gaze returned to Lord Rumlow across from him. Julia admired his rapid change in attitude, she wished she could have followed it—but her shoulder remained incredibly tense.

The silence that followed those words lasted mere moments, though it felt much longer and the tension was so thick, Julia could almost cut it with a knife. She struggled to find a subject to break the silence and hoped that someone else would quickly do it.

“James, could you perhaps tell me more about your home? I’ve heard such wonderful stories of its beauty,” Carolina finally asked, a sweet smile planted on her kind face.

Relieved, Julia let out the breath she had been holding, the tension finally easing in her shoulders as Carolina quickly eased the conversation into clearer waters. The air soon seemed lighter again as her question prompted several more and conversation flowed freely once more.

[mercurialtraveller-blog]

Clear Sky, 24°C

2 Chome-4-8 Ōmiya, Chūō-ku, Fukuoka-shi, Fukuoka-ken 810-0013, Japan

Day 12 Universal Studios Japan - Osaka Maddy and Ville had decided to head to Kobe for the day, however Vicki had been most insistent that I visited USJ as their Halloween celebration was on and they have a zombie takeover of the whole park when night falls. With that in mind I had decided to head there on my own - however Naoko luckily managed to get the day off work so I had a friend with me, which made the day even better. Strangely, in Japan, at all convenience stores, you are able to buy tickets for the local attractions, so to avoid queues we managed to do this in the morning before catching a couple of trains over to USJ. Even before you make it into the park-proper the surrounding areas are all set up like an American-style city, surrounding you with Hollywood style restaurants and shops including Hard Rock Cafe. We headed into the park and I was not expecting it to be so immersive - the closest experience I can compare it to in the UK is Boomtown - with all the different areas built up perfectly to match their themes. A true 'theme' park. First up we headed to Jurassic Park for the Flying Dinosaur. This is a rollercoaster that is similar to 'Air' in Alton Towers in that you're lifted up so you are facing the floor, 'flying' round the track head first. It's also the only roller coaster I've ever been on with a full forward loop. Really good fun, and an amazing view of the park and surrounding areas. Onward to the Jurassic Park ride - I didn't realise that this was a water ride until we were nearly on the ride. It's a boat tour of Jurassic Park, complete with theme music and giant animatronic dinosaurs. Starts off pretty tame going past herbivores and such, before a fork in the road where a 'malfunction' occurs, taking you into an unauthorised area filled with carnivores jumping out at you from the dark recesses of the generator area, culminating with a giant T-Rex jumping out at you from above before a steep drop into the water below. How could we have made the same mistake as at Fuji-Q and gotten soaked feet (and everything else!) once again at the start of the day? Thankfully at this point the sun came out, and we dried off pretty quickly! Space Fantasy was an inside ride where you queued in a space port before being whisked round a track on a spinning space ship with amazing space visuals throughout. Next up was Hollywood Dream - a long rollercoaster with a personal soundsystem in every seat that you can choose the track on, with favourites such as Justin Timberlake and Pitbull... I stuck with the J-Pop they select for you! No loops, but a fun ride none-the-less, that covers half of the park - again with great views. We chilled in the park area for a bit and took in the views over the lake in the middle of the park - once again beautiful!📷 The Chucky horror maze was pretty scary, with Chucky staring at you menacingly and jumping out at every corner. Creepy and shocking in equal measures. Spiderman was another inside rollercoaster, however this one was in '4D'. You queue through the offices of the Daily Bugle, with J Jonah Jameson greeting you at every turn through smart quips on posters all throughout - most of them threatening you with being fired. The ride itself had you put on 3D glasses and travel through New York whilst Spiderman fought villains from the sewers to the rooftops, often with you being attacked with flames (shot with heat cannons), sprayed with water (self explanatory), or electrocuted (vibrating chairs). It ended with a huge drop off a building before inevitably being caught by Spiderman whilst he simultaneously tied up all the villains. A really novel experience being part 4D movie, part rollercoaster and part flight sim. We checked out the parade next, which included dancing Minions and Persian Dancers, amongst other things. We entered the Cyberdyne Systems offices next where we were taken on a tour by a presumably insane and fairly demanding Japanese woman who I'm sure from the reaction of the crowd (and my own intuition) was making loads of hilarious jokes - unfortunately I couldn't understand a thing and it was too fast paced for Naoko to translate for me. We were led into a demo of the new Terminator models. This was hacked by John and Sarah Connor (I presume) who then intruded on the demo. The T2000 then attacked and killed the Japanese lady and before long a Japanese Arnie had somehow appeared on a motorbike to save the day! This was also in 4D and I must admit I did struggle a bit with this as it was quite a long show and fully in Japanese. Still good fun, but frustrating as I think it would've been a real highlight as the acting throughout seemed stellar - I just couldn't understand it. Next we entered The Maze 3 - A Nightmare On Elm Street branded horror maze. This one we were split into groups and all forced to march through the Freddie themed maze slowly all holding onto a short rope. Whilst being fully immersive and a great representation of the series I didn't find this one quite as scary as the first, although there was one jump scare which got me - badly! Finally 6PM was nearing, so we chilled until the main event of the day... Zombies! As darkness fell the whole park was invaded by multiple kinds of zombies running round in packs. From chainsaw zombies, to mental patients, to twisted kids, big fatties 📷 and zombie midgets we were harassed and harangued by hordes of the undead and (badly) protected by SWAT teams whose idea of saving us seemed to be putting us into more precarious positions than before. There were multiple mobs of zombies throughout the park with set pieces such as: -A human being attacked on the bonnet of a car by a group of zombies led by a midget (all the while being attacked by zombies from behind as we crowded around to watch). -SWAT team leading park guests onto a bus before the bus was raided by zombies. -SWAT team leading guests (including us!) into a cage for 'protection' only for zombies to break down the door and chase us all out. -A zombie flash dance led by a hench tribally tattooed zombie. -A zombie woman locked in a cage with other zombies joining her before they started feasting on something out of sight at the front of the cage... When we approached we were sprayed with blood (water!). -A little girl zombie stood on a podium maniacally laughing with a teddy bear. All in all there must've been around 20 types of different zombies, each with their own personalities, looks and sounds. Amazing immersion and acting. What an experience! Thanks Vicki for convincing me that I had to go. Taking respite from the Zombies we headed to The Wizarding World Of Harry Potter. After a short walk through the grounds of Hogwarts, including a quick pass by of the Weasley's abandoned car, we were into a real-life Hogsmeade. It was absolutely incredible, with all the shops represented well, such as Zonko's Joke Shop, Honeydukes, The Hog's Head, .Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment, Dervish and Bangs and so on. Again the immersion and style was spot on with Hogwarts Castle illuminated in the background. I was shocked to realise that we could walk all the way up to Hogwarts 📷 and inside it. Truly a sight to behold at night! Inside the castle we passed through all the sights including a classroom (unsure which), Dumbledore's office (complete with Dumbledore hologram), The Great Hall and up the staircase - complete with unsettling pictures where some would occaisionally subtly move, some would speak to you and even the ones that didn't had eyes that seemed trained on you at all times - I can't stress how cool this was as they appeared to be real paintings but were animated in a such a convincing way that you still thought them to be paintings despite the animation. Next up was The Forbidden Journey - another 4D rollercoaster in the same vein as Spiderman, however this one was half animation, half real models and took us all around the grounds of Hogwarts including The Chamber of Secrets, The Triwizard Tournament and a game of Quidditch. No sign of He Who Must Not Be Named, but plenty of Dementors causing all sorts of mischief before being Expecto Patronum'd away by Harry, just before he caught the Golden Snitch. I'm really running out of superlatives to describe how awesome this was! As we came out of Hogwarts suddenly the castle was illuminated by a blueish light. Harry, Ron and Hermione appeared as did another student - unsure which due to the half English, half Japanese dialogue. Suddenly there were Dementors flying all over the castle, before one attacked the nameless student on the roof with the Dementor's kiss. Many Patronuses were cast before they all joined as one to finally get rid of the Dementors for good. The nameless student was somehow alright as well - not sure how they got away with that one! A quick trip to look over Hogwarts Lake (again, amazing view of the castle), before we headed through the zombie horde once again to ride the Flying Dinosaur one last time before leaving the park We ended up grabbing Takoyaki for dinner📷 , this time with many different toppings - I somehow managed to eat 16 this time, quite a feat! Naoko also showed me the correct way to use chopsticks (post included picture) finally! We hopped on the train back and said our goodbyes - hopefully we'll meet again one day!

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