#Hornsworth

[deletarius-draws]

WolfxLamb - “Fenrus Jericho Pelton” & “Lizbet Auroranon Elise Annette Hornsworth”

[sneaky-sea-slug]

Hornworts sporophyte cross section.

Soooooo incredibly cool.

[doug-lewars]

The Ghost

The official looked up from the dossier. “Now, Mr. Hornsworth, you say you were in IT while you were alive. Is that correct?”

“Yes, although strictly mainframes.”

“Hmm, that’s not good.”

“You don’t have mainframes in the, uh, after-life?”

“We don’t have computers period.”

“Oh my.” Mr. Hornsworth looked a little disconcerted. “How do you manage?”

“Well our job is to run the universe and we work mostly at the quantum level. Now if you had a degree in quantum physics that would be something. We always have openings for them.”

“I’m afraid I don’t, but surely most people arriving here don’t have knowledge of that subject.”

The official nodded, “Quite true, but we can also make use of sales personnel, accountants, chemists, psychologists – a considerable number of professions – almost everything except IT.”

“So …” Mr. Hornsworth hesitated, “I’ll be assigned to unskilled labour?”

The official frowned, “Normally that would be the case, but we have a surplus of workers there at the moment so I think we’ll need to find something else.”

“Such as what.”

The official seemed to look off into the distance for a moment and then said, “How do you think you’d be at haunting?”

“Oh … no … really … I don’t think I could scare anyone.”

“You were around for the Y2K incident weren’t you?”

“Well … yes.”

“And that certainly scared people.”

“True, but I didn’t have any personal involvement.”

The official shrugged. “And haven’t some of your computer models predicted some pretty drastic things with respect to climate?”

“Well, they weren’t my models.”

“Doesn’t matter. IT people are good at scaring others. Your job was to persuade organizations to invest heavily in hardware and software wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“And to do that, you often had to scare the living daylights out of senior executives didn’t you?”

“Well … I guess I did; but I was just trying to keep their businesses viable.”

“Right, right. Still, you sure scared them.”

“Uh, I guess so.”

The official glanced again at the dossier.

“Frankly, I think you terrified them. Right, we’ll assign you to hauntings.”

“I’m sorry sir, but I really can’t see myself rattling chains in some dark castle.”

The official laughed, “Not to worry. Those days are long gone. No, you’ll continue in IT except you’ll be inside the machine causing all sorts of little bugs.”

“Bugs?”

The official looked concerned, “Isn’t that what they call them?”

“Well, uh yes but …”

“Right, have you ever heard of the Phoenix Pay System?”

“Oh Dear God.”

“Exactly. We had a guy in there doing a marvellous job but we need him to haunt some new communications technology being developed in China. You can get started by replacing him on that. Then you can affect some more of those climate models but there are two really big assignments coming up you’ll need all your skills for.”

Mr. Hornsworth was almost afraid to ask, but he did anyway. “What are they?”

“Analytics and AI are on the verge of taking over a considerable amount of decision making in large companies.”

“And I?”

“Will ensure the end result is one of total chaos. And then in 2020 there’s a major presidential election in the United States. I trust you know exactly what to do there.”

Mr. Hornsworth smiled, “I think I’m going to like being a ghost.”  

[insomenarnia]

Soup (Chapter One)

       "Eureka."        Stanley muttered under his dry lips. The heat from the pot steamed his lanky body, dripping with perspiration. He wiped his forehead and took out his secondhand pocket watch from a shoplifting frenzy he had. Hence, why he managed to afford a crateful of goods. He did it by tucking them under his shrink-o'-meter hoodie. If you place the object underneath, it triggers the automation, blasting an inaudible beam to shrink an object to the size of a dollhouse piece. But taking it out under the fabrics causes a drastic change back to its original size. And to Stanley, inverted pockets were his token of pride.

       He checked the compass-like watch, a rusty chain swing over to the humid pot, contacting with each other. Without thinking, Stanley pulled the end of the chain, hell crawled through the tips of his fingers. He yelped like a wounded guard dog and he immediately twists his tap water on, letting his fingers fumble with the rushing water while his weary eyes watch the baby hand spinning like a swift merry-go-round. Crap. He mouthed. He'll need a new replacement, he tossed that crap, missing the bin. It shattered into millions of crystal-clear ice, the numbers and the family hands popped out, remaining a golden doughnut rim.

       Crap. One more cuss and he'll have to create a counter for all the Craps he had blown out of his nasty mouth. His eyes blankly stared at the broken pieces, until a tremulous boil fizzled behind him. Stanley glanced around, his soup became a volcano, erupting blisters under the quaking lid. The flow began to slide down the stovetop and on the floor, making a hot spring fit for the devil. Stanley gave out a bundle of Fucks as he dived into the drawers and reach out for his floral mittens. He splashed the bubble-coated turner with his ice-cold water and with all his slippery ninja skills, he shut the flames downs with one full turn.

       "Hello, neighbour. You makin' soup?" Stanley faced his head to the eerie voice, it was his neighbour, Jules. Jules Montganomy.

       Stanley nodded, he can't be bothered to converse with a real dead person; Jules dark-coloured eyes were puffy and the end of his lips remained curled up as he speaks in monotone. In Stanley's neighbourhood, his movements are synchronised with all the other weird neighbours and even the stray cats. They line up on sidewalks and marched in flocks, together, their steps shook the street until they break out of the line and go to their separate ways. Normal humans like Stanley prized them the entitlement of The Evolved Humans or E-humans for short. They aren't really robots, they have organs, a beating heart and a crappy neuro system. These bag of ices were populated to be systemised, analytical and future masterminds of the world. Their striking IQ exploded the range that could beat Albert Einstein any day; they are born geniuses.

       However, their single flaw stand out in the public, they lack emotions, their emotional intelligence is of a dead person. The only similarity Stanley acquired from them is their ability to not give any fucks, especially barging into your neighbour's house and watching him dance with his kitchen catastrophes.

       Jules stepped inside the kitchen, his posture was perfect, exposing his chest of confidence; his hands were clenched in tight fists, locked with swinging mechanic arms. His smile, the ever-so-eerie-smile, had flinched Stanley's body hair as Jules gracefully grabbed a bowl from the dishwasher.

       "May I taste your soup, neighbour? It must taste really good." Stanley grimaced at Jules who held his bowl like a beggar not begging for anything.

       "Jules, just call me Stanley and I'm not done yet," he replied.

       "Then, I'll sit and wait, Stanley!" And he marched to the scrappy dining room, which is Stanley's study desk.

       Stanley forcefully put his fist in his tiny mouth, he had a long day: he burnt himself, his soup was burnt and now, he has to please his ever-so-creepy neighbour to get him out of the house. He can't cook another one as his ingredients were limited, the hand-me-down recipe from his great grandmother was listed with a variety of colourful components like carrots, potatoes, squash, pumpkin and so it goes with the vegetables. Add a dash of salt and pepper, the usual condiments of his great grandmother's time. Finally, an extra part from Stanley, grating moon rocks to sparkle one's delight.

       Suddenly, Stanley remembered, the E-humans can't get impatient. Jules can sit in that position for who-knows-how-long, giving Stanley the opportunity to go back to the mart and make his family's finest soup. Although he first thought of shooing Jules away, Stanley has a spot for sharing his family's tradition, earning him a place as a traditional Cooper member. He set an unconditional love for all those related to him (Except for his aunt Alison, they cut ties with her after marrying an E-human), he swears an oath to never abandon them, to never throw the soup recipe away and to never destroy their normal bloodline and genetics.

       Stanley paced along his street, the stumpings combined into one hell of a giant's step. He peeked over his shoulders, only to have a handful of stares at him, each batch had their hands up to Stanley, waving at him without pausing for a brief moment.

       "Hello, neighbour!" Is what they would say and Stanley had enough of it.

       He thought of revolution, he thought of banishing the E-humans or creating a border between the Normals and them. He thought of dropping their bodies into a damn huge coffin and bury it near the Earth's core. Because that's where they belong, they are practically dead, anyways. He thought. Wiping half of the general population means we can start fresh, right?

       Stanley knew his fantasies couldn't dethrone the president's imperialistic nature. Everyone, especially the normals, thought of Mr Brahmins as a typical E-human with thoughtful intentions to their society, but Stanley's scepticism kicked in, he had nightmares of Mr Brahmins overtaking the world and flushing the Normals down into the drain for his sweet babies to continue increasing their kind of people. The tan-skinned, lean body and charming features made Stanley want to vomit inside.

       And when Stanley entered Pi's Mart, the tan-skinned, lean body and charming features were right in front of him.

       "Hello, normal person!" Mr Brahmins reached out his hand, but Stanley ignored it. E-humans always tried to make a connection with the normals, giving them friendly visits at their home, gifting them with a basket of foods or striking a conversation about the weather, all sort of friendly shenanigans they could imitate. Even the president is friendly enough to be in the public's eyes. He's trying to be friendly with the Normals so that he could gain their trust. And so Stanley thought.

       "What a great mart this is, am I correct? The prices are pi, what a funny one!" Mr Brahmins burst out laughing. Stanley urged to laugh too because his laugh was ridiculous and somewhat sarcastic. Though, he got the prices right. Every item in Pi's Mart is priced three e-dollars and fourteen e-cents and Stanley hated receiving the change of six e-cents for every four e-dollars he gives. That's why he turned into a shoplifter, the numbers get him itchy and irritated. Luckily, no one suspects him, they either are too friendly to report or they don't give a fuck. Stanley wondered how they were even born geniuses if they can't handle both social and emotional aspects of being an actual human.

       "I'm in a rush, Mr President," said Stanley.

       "Why don't we talk about the weather? It's 36 Celsius or 96.8 Fahrenheit, it's a sunny day here in Hornsworth! Must be really hot outside, why don't we take a couple of cold drinks and stop by at the beach? Would do you say?"

       Stanley rejected him, to other Normals, it seems like a big opportunity to hang out with the president and place their complaint on the E-humans making foot noises or intruding their home with food baskets, which the president will just laugh it off. Stanley, on the other hand, he could never trust an E-human authority.

       Mr Brahmins smiled and waved goodbye to me as he passes through the automatic doors. He sighed in relief until all of the cashiers greeted him, "Good afternoon, Mr Cooper!" Half of them has dreary faces while the others are painted with big smiles. When working together with the E-humans, it is a routine to greet your customers. Stanley pitied his kind, no one wants to be too friendly for half of the day.

[bxnnybxtch-blog]

It's Parade Day bitches get y'all drink onnnnnnn

(( in my college city they host Parade Day the weekend before St. Paddy's bc the assumption is that the students would go to NYC for the biig holiday. Nah, nah we just stay here and get beyond plastered on Saturday. Me, I had a migraine and had to fuss over my plant babies. But! I made a wonderful friend with an escaped Goliath worm from one of the labs here. His name is Hornsworth and he is an angery boy. ANYWAY hmu if you wanna rp with Thumper with NO ICONS AND MINIMAL FORMATTING I am pretty much always limited to mobile tumblring right now so pls poke the bune ))

[deletarius-draws]

WolfxLamb - “Lizbet Auroranon Elise Annette Hornsworth” The Eternal Lamb and Savior of the Holy Ovisarian Kingdom. The prophesied holy figure and miracle child said to set the lands of the sinful ablaze. She is one of many iterations of Eternal Lambs that have come before her, she has died for the name of the Ovisarian Kingdom, to be resurrected with the memories of her past lives lost. Upon her revival she is sent into the fray to serve the kingdom once more in case of yet another untimely demise forces her end once again.