#Hoping to get myself to expand on this soon. Probably when taking a break from writing lore heavy Persona stuff. We'll see.

[akechis-special-case]

Sona Intro (Basics) - Annalise

Fandom: Honkai Star Rail

Paired with: (The) Herta

Temporary(?) Reference - Picrew Link

I will draw them eventually. ... Probably... Knowing me that might take a good while.

Pronouns: She/They

Path + Element: Abundance, Lightning

"But they are green-" Yeah because Aro flag colors. I like lightning shush

Well renowned author and literary scholar. Inexperienced with science yet seems to try understanding it. Usually calm and collected, gentle even (calm older sister vibes). Yet seems to be oddly infatuated with Herta. The dolls are (jokingly) the daughters. It becomes visible when they are in the same room with (The) Herta. Annalise is valued for their smarts in a different field.

As a person focusing on literature they have different views on things and look at things from a different lense, like stories. Has a talent for analyzing speaking patterns and anything written down. If you allow them they might talk your ear off about literary stuff, practical and theoretical.

Their gentle nature results in them being sought out for advice or helping out others, seeming too close to other people sometimes. This could result in jealousy yet Annalise is oblivious to it. They just want to help.

If anyone is ever interested in them, they won't notice. Literally has only eyes for Herta and is the genius's biggest enabler.

Hates being a burden, thus keeping all their troubles to themself. Also doesn't like talking about their past, hence why they bury themself in literature overall. To most they may as well have just plopped into existence.

[spookythesillyfella]

Thank you for everything you have done on this account I want you to know from my perspective that I care about you not just for your incredible artwork or your High Voltage AU.. but for who you are as a person. I’m not here to sugarcoat things or throw out empty compliments because I know it’s easy to think words like these are “overused” or “cliché” but honestly you’ve been someone who’s made me feel like it’s okay to open up and vent. You’ve seen me completely unload on my own blog and that sense of acceptance means more than I can express since at least when I feel my lowest to a breaking point on some other end there's another person who understands me somehow. I’m not saying we’re exactly the same since our lives and situations are clearly different but I can see a lot of your struggles, just as I’m sure you recognize some of mine. Ever since I started following you I’ll admit I’ve been nervous (still am) I worry I might say or do something wrong that could upset you or drive you away.. It’s a constant fear of making a bad impression but I really do wish I could get to know you better! I’d love to show up here more often, talk about your day, your interests, or anything you want to share. Even if you feel like you don���t stand out you’ve made a meaningful difference in my life and that’s something I’ll always appreciate. I know things are getting tough for everyone right now though I want to remind you that your life is valuable and you’re worth so much. I care about you deeply Spooky and I truly hope things start to feel better for you soon - 💌🩷 (You can figure out who this is by the emojis) P.S don't feel you need to EVER reply to this inbox or anything I send you. This isn't a message to tell you to "stop venting" either. In fact, Your venting again is what helped me realize I am allowed to express myself at times even if I do delete it all haha. Stay safe and I love you /p

oh . thank you deary

ill admit that i dont exactly have the capacity to answer thiz ask – my sad excuse of a vocabulary paired with my constant struggle to find the right wordz

i totally get why you're scared but . truthfully . and i mean every word . you could probably threaten my safety and id still love you incredibly much – you've genuinely helped me overcome a lot of my troublez . not just through your fantastic au . but through you just being a person

ive felt a little less hezitant talking about whatz bothering me on the internet – a sort of echo chamber doez feel nice to scream into every now and again to blow off steam – and . while you're right in saying that our strugglez are definitely different . i still feel genuine support whenever you talk about your own strugglez ; in my eyez . i see thiz az solidarity . i suppoze

and . though it might not eaze you . i do have to say that you shouldn't worry about making a bad impression around me – if anything . i have the same fear regarding all my friendz too ; wordz are so hard to work out and phrazing can be such a hassle . i certainly know that much hehe

itz quite alright if you can't bring yourself to come by more often – i don't expect people to show up in the first place – but i do want you to remember that im alwayz thinking about you ; you're such a wonderful friendsibling and talking to you makez me feel at eaze . so no matter where i go i alwayz have you in the back of my mind . much like the rest of my online siblingz

take care . and know that thiz too shall pass eventually – "I know it's storming now; that the puddles made up of your own tears are expanding. But you should remember that, once the rain is over, greener pastures will bloom. I hope you'll be there to see them blossoming, instead of remaining hung up in your room..."

[intothetlkverse]

Decided to challenge myself by drawing every single TLK character out there, up until this point in time, and post it here. You can see the finished project on my main account, though I figured to post it on my tumblr just show I could proudly show off my work and a few of my head canons.

Here is all the ostriches across TLK:

Kambuni/Kambi(camp) and her mother Mbuni(ostrich) start us off from the Lion Guard. Without repeating myself before, I'll just say they are more in line with their real-life counterparts, having colors more fitting of adult female and baby ostriches respectively, though I did keep their eye colors and head feathers. And, to give TLG some credit, they did keep the fact that ostriches are the only birds in the world with two toes in mind. Additionally, while I was doing research, I found out several facts about ostriches I felt would be interesting to share. For one, ostriches typically live between 30-40 years in the wild, and up to 70 in captivity. Yes, you heard/read me right, up to seventy. So yeah, I can see totally Kambuni/Kambi, Beshte, Makuu, Mtoto, and probably Kongwe still, all still being there multiple generations and reigns down the line, perhaps forming a sort of council to help advise future generations. Mbuni is the current leader of the flock, the dominant female.

Typically ostrich herds have several females along with a dominant male and female pair, though Mbuni's is unique as she is the solo head of a flock that has a few males within. Her mate and Kambi's feather unfortunately passed, having gotten severely injure in an attempt to run away from predators, only to end up breaking a leg and succumbing soon after, and Mbuni has since stepped up and taken up the reigns for her flock, reinventing it to have more equal amounts of either gender and being the main face for her flock. Her flock is one of several in the Pridelands though and one of the smaller and newer ones, so they aren't as regarded or impressive as some of the others. Still, Mbuni is a decent leader and a good mother, and her daughter will expand on her mother's flock and become not only a notable group in the Pridelands' future, but close allies as well.

Next up is our most recent addition to the ostrich category, little Asha(hope) and her mother Awena(gentle) from "Keeper of the Egg". Sort of a similar story to Spike and Pumbaa Jr's stories, except it's Timon that gets invested in protecting and taking care of Asha's egg, before she hatches and is reunited with her mother. However Asha and her family still keep touch with the duo, even after they've taken on Simba as their ward, and the two do babysit her, Spike, and a multitude of other animals in exchange for protection/food/favors/etc. Asha's a little darling and is one of the few animals(consisting also of his mother and 'niece'/'nephews') Timon will allow to call him 'Timmy', and that's 'uncle Timmy' to you. You can read more about Timon and Pumbaa's babysitting service here.

From he T&P show's episode "Can't Take a Yolk" we have Mama ostrich/Malizia(finish it) and baby ostrich/Mbaka(chicken). In the episode our favorite OG hyena trio try to steal a massive egg from a mother ostrich with various slapstick attempts, only for it to hatch in the end into a massive baby ostrich which thoroughly makes a mockery of them. In reality, Mbaka is a normally-sized chick and when the then young pup hyenas were trying to steal his egg, his father covered wood, mud and clay, with the help of some friendly monkeys, over himself and hunkered down into the nest, pretending to be an oversized egg. When the hyenas came to steal it, he gleefully 'hatched' before chasing the hyenas away, giving them a sound fear of hunting ostriches until many season later when they did see the normal sized chicks. Mbaka's parents are both very caring, especially since he's the only one of their clutch to hatch and survive, with the previous being taken by the older members of the hyena clan, which in turn had inspired the younger trio to steal the remaining ones. Mbaka inherits his father's appearance with his mother's no-nonsense attitude, steely determination, and slightly salty sass.

Next from 6NA's "Follow the Leader" is Haraka(quick) from . He acts as a long-distance messenger for the Pridelands, part of Zazu's personal network, serving all the way back in Mufasa's reign to currently Simba's. He is also married to Pamba and the father of Simbarella/Sibila(small lion-Arabic) from "Knight in Shining Armor". I am so pleased with her name choice, as those who are familiar with what 'Simba' means may guess. Though Haraka and Pamba have a full clutch of kids together, Sibila has been charmed by her origin and her father's position, and hopes to follow in his footsteps as a messenger for the royal family.

Speaking of Pamba(cotton), she and her mother Puduni(pudding) and brother Mayai(eggs) are from another 6NA story, "How True, Zazu?". Mayai and Pamba have unfortunately caught their mother gossiping with their friends' mothers and started to get the general air of dislike for the chatterbox, snitch majordomo known as Zazu, so they decide to pull a prank on him but giving him false information in order to humiliates him. Unfortunately this goes horribly wrong as their lies start to discredit and cause Zazu to lose faith with Mufasa, something that becomes a danger when there is an army ant invasion. Though the day is saved in the end, the siblings and their friends are ashamed and apologize for their actions, to which they are told that they can make up for it by becoming Zazu's assistants and helping get him information. In the future most of them stay and become part of Zazu's and the ruler's personal informants and messengers, acting as eyes and ears, gathering info that then gets moved up to the ruler's ears, Pamba and Mayai as some of the most loyal and reliable on the team. Pamba and Mayai are both entering teens here, hence the fewer spots and more solid body colors. While researching juvenile ostriches, I did find out that the pink necks we associate with them are more of a breeding season thing, in which they get really bright for males then, but are otherwise pretty grey for both genders both the time. I want to say both siblings are about 12/13-ish here. Also I know I kinda made Puduni look like a Karen, it was unintentional and she actually is more responsible and takes accountability for her and her kids actions, though I could definitely see her having the voice of one now.

Back into the oasis we have Spike/Sike(cut-Zulu) and Spike's mother/'Siki'/Kisiki(stump) from "Mummy Pumbaa". Same to Asha's story, Sike is found as an egg and hatched in the company of Timon, Pumbaa, and Simba. They take care of him for while, then he is reunited with his mother and siblings, though later comes back to be babysat by the duo. He and Asha later become a couple and name a few chicks after them. Here we see Kisiki feeling down, probably feeling guilty for losing him in the first place, though here he is trying to cheer her up with a flamboyant dance, something he'll need to work on for future courting rituals.

Lastly of the chicks we have baby Emu/Elimu(knowledge, education) from "The Outback Adventure". Basically in the book our warthog and meerkat duo are hiking through the Australian outback, Timon goes to sit and rests on a rock, oops, rock turns out to be an egg hatching, now Timon is three for three with birdsitting. The two go on an adventure to find the bird's mother, end up finding some kangaroos who offer to take the little bird to an emu flock they saw, the end. Aside from the obvious geographical misplacement and Timon acting very OP and brave trying to help this chick out, it's a solid story. Of course in my verse Elimu is an ostrich and they use the help of a local group of springhares to helps find a flock for the baby. Since ostriches are communal nesters, where a male and a group of females lay their eggs in the same nest, which can sometimes have up to 50 eggs, they were hoping that just quick slip into a recently-hatched nest and the parents be none the wiser.

However, fate just so happened to have something else in mind. While journeying to the flock, the group comes across a pair of male ostriches out on their honeymoon; Koti(jacket) and Thabiti(steady/stable). The two decided to go outside the Pridelands to explore the world and just so happen to come across the group, cooing and aweing over this absolutely adorable little orphan chick, the possibility of adoption comes up and the two immediately seize it, becoming Elimu's dads. With Elimu smoothly adopted to a some loving ostriches, the two return back to relax with a job well done. Elimu's two fathers are based on the ostriches we see Simba and Nala riding in "IJCWTBK", since there was a distinct lack of adult males and their cool feathers in this picture.

[r0yalgrimmartz]

🥀Miyu Anastas Headcanons🥀

....so-

I didn't actually think I'd end up doing all of them I just was planning on doing Kore and Cytherea but I have so many ideas my brain is FIZZING. So looks like I'm gonna torture myself and do everyone of those fuckers. Kill me. I don't think there's any trigger warnings for this one but I guess there is a mention of a toxic/slightly abusive relationship. That's about it??

Okay now here's my sweet gal Miyu:

- Went to Duel Academy in hopes of being a dueling teacher, plus being a fresh new chapter in her life as she wanted to explore more outside of her hometown.

- She actually knows Syrus, been penpals/online friends since they were a little younger which...yeah. It's kinda why she wanted to go to Duel Academy, not only to go there because it was apparently such a great dueling school, but to also see her friend Syrus finally.

[CUT TO BREAK UP TEXT]

- Miyu is known as being quite reserved and calm upon first introduction, but when you start really getting to know her, she is the most chattiest friendliest person you'll ever meet. Like- Woman will talk to you for hours, but unlike Kore, she knows when to stop talking or when it becomes too much.

- Very extroverted. Somehow has like several friend groups in Duel Academy (her main besties being Kore, Hanae and Jaden. Plus Syrus.) Due to her extroverted behaviour and friendly attitude, she draws more people in. Even her gaze and tone of voice is soft you feel so drawn in.

- Is...surprisingly kinda the more reasonable and normal one. Honestly questions a lot of things but by season four is like "Okay you know what, if there's anything that's impossible to happen, it is most likely possible to happen at Duel Academy".

- Miyu is more level headed, while trying to keep her emotions out of situations, she tries to think logically about things that could be the best course of action.

- When in a dangerous situation, Miyu is the more calm and rational person surprisingly, she keeps a level headed attitude and tries to evacuate people to safety or handle the situation herself with calm and ease.

- Miyu comes from a big family. Being the eldest child out of five children. Growing up, Miyu definitely had to help out her parents a lot, thus having to help look after all four of her siblings growing up. Whether it was to take care of them for a couple of hours, feed them meals, drop them off to school, help with homework, she got it covered. Due to her father working two jobs at the time and her mother working to also make ends meet. Also even going so far as to help take care of her grandparents too in their very elderly age.

- Miyu has learned a lot from her parents, in terms of manners, cleaning, cooking, sewing, how to fix a car engine, replace a tire, fix stuff around the home, you name it. Even fishing. Miyu brings all of her skills to the table whenever her friends ask her for help.

- Massively enjoys baking and cooking, acts as a form of stress relief almost. She likes to test and expand on her cooking and baking skills. Even going so far to constantly make new things.

- Due to having to help her parents a lot and constantly helping to take care of her siblings, Miyu tends to...act more like an adult despite her age. Unfortunately there are times she acts like a worried mother when in reality she is just still a kid. A kid herself who had to grow up earlier than others. Doesn't mean that she's incapable of doing regular things like a teenager, just with how she talks and acts, she sometimes forgets she's still very young herself and needs to enjoy life more.

- Acts like the older sister of the group. Obviously. Probably a lot of them go to Miyu for advice due to her being more level headed and a bit more mature than them. Plus having a bit more experience in some situations.

- Has worked in a butcher shop before along with her dad at the age of 12 to 15. Mostly worked at front but her dad soon taught her how to handle butchering meat correctly. So she's not really afraid to get her hands dirty.

- While she enjoys baking and cooking, she does actually surprisingly work out quite a lot. Mainly doing a lot of kick boxing, and regular boxing sometimes. She has got Kore into kick boxing as well, seeing as how Kore admires Miyu's strength quite a lot. Plus Miyu sometimes even does quite a bit of weight lifting.

- Plants. This woman, has a lot of plants in her dorm. She loves plants. Takes massively care of them.

- Is Ukrainian. Has tried to learn as much English and Japanese as possible during the short period of time she had when going to Duel Academy. Not the smartest move to start learning like few months before trying to get into Duel Academy but...she managed.

- Is definitely the friend that people tend to go to most for comfort. To rely on, to tell secrets and personal problems with, she is all ears and will help you as much as she can. She'll help to try shoulder your burden as much as she can. Kore and Hanae always tend to go to Miyu to talk to her about their problems as Miyu has no problem listening to their problems. It took the girl's months to realise that...Miyu has never told them about her problems. Her burdens, nor any of her issues. Miyu seems to always have such a smile and calm attitude, always being kind and showing her gentle and soft tone, yet they don't know how much she's possibly holding back or hiding from them.

- Miyu has an ex boyfriend...did date him through half of season one or majority of it...was toxic as fuck. Miyu's mental health took a slight toll but tried to bring herself back up from it. Didn't help that her ex tried to spread false rumours about her. Luckily a certain mean girl (cough Cytherea) managed to turn that situation on its head and end up ruining his reputation instead.

- Constantly has a very busy schedule. It's very hectic. How does she manage to handle everything?? No idea. Is she okay? Nobody knows despite her seeming fine. Yet she somehow manages to make time for her friends.

- Probably close to severe burn out and collapsing. Please someone get this woman to sleep, she's burning the candle at both ends. Needs a long rest.

- Admittedly (don't mean to sound bold or cheeky claiming this), Miyu is an attractive girl. Yes, she gets hounded by guys at Duel Academy being asked out. Yes she's seen the kind of guys that also hound Alexis and asking her out. Miyu purposely keeps a low profile and keeps to herself as a result. She does not want the same shit happening to her. She's in slifer red so she assumes she's fine. Yes she also rejects majority of the guys who asked her out. Some of them keep being persistent? Haha- Punches them in the throat. No mercy.

- Had a big big big big big big big squish (crush) on Bastion Misawa during season 1 & 2. Unfortunately, Miyu never admitted these feelings to Bastion as he only ever saw her as a sibling figure and a good friend. Miyu of course realised he's more into Tania, thus slowly pushed those feelings back. She values his friendship more though, plus doesn't want to ruin anything with him. Luckily after they graduate they managed to keep in contact and act more like very close besties in the near future, so it works out. Miyu just massively is into smart guys...probably talking about nerdy shit and she'll admittedly listen for hours and swoon.

- This leads to the next point - While Miyu is a chatty person, I think realistically Miyu likes to listen to her friends talk more because she adores how enthusiastic and excited they look when talking about their interests. Miyu feels as if she's a boring person, so she tends to keep a lot about her interests to herself and just prefers to listen.

- Despite Miyu sometimes getting herself into messy and hands on work, not being afraid to get her elbows dirty, Miyu still likes to do her makeup, style her hair, dress nicely and do a skin care routine. Miyu is more relaxed with her skin care routine than Cytherea.

- Was supposed to be in Ra Yellow pushing towards being in Obelisk blue...Miyu purposely botched her written exams in order for her to keep a low profile. Not many people know why, but it's assumed that Miyu had bad experiences with her peers and originally used to be a bit popular in her old school due to her natural charm, wit and outgoing personality, but rumours spread about Miyu and as a result Miyu just wanted to start fresh and be able to live casually.

- Wishes to get a pet badly. But of course couldn't afford it. So usually spoils Pharoh the cat. Even in season three when Jim arrives, Miyu was quite blown away by his entrance (girlie was impressed by this man...and his sheer strength that he managed to carry a huge fuck off crocodile), and immediately took a liking to Karen (I'm still pissed that the dub named her Shirley and not Karen we were fucking robbed), and since then she also spoils Karen quite a lot. Gives her little scritches, food, even sometimes just casually small talks with Karen. Karen immediately took a liking to Miyu. Has even tried getting on Miyu's back for Miyu to also carry her. Jim has tried to stop Karen from doing that from risking crushing Miyu. Honestly Miyu is more than happy to try and carry Karen.

- Rarely ever gets angry. It takes like a LOT to make this woman pissed. Woman has the patience of an absolute saint, even times where she should have blew up or was justified in doing so, she somehow just remains calm and was patient. This includes even crying or showing she's very upset. It's rare that things get to her, but I think the only people who have saw her cry was Kore and Jim. Maybe even Syrus at one point. But that was pretty much it. Hates showing tears, hates showing any negative emotion but honestly this girl probably forgets that it's okay to cry or get angry...considering she's always the one telling people that it's okay to get upset and cry, or show forms of frustration.

- Her and Jesse have talked about crystal collections before. Showing each other kick ass cool crystals and jem stones or discussing them. They're so lame-

Again, like the previous two headcanons for the other bitches, anything I've forgotten I'll talk about in near future or just...edit this post. I probably have forgotten stuff but...ya know.

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE EIGHT || BOREDOM

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara + gojo satoru + zenin maki + inumaki toge + panda + aoi todo + zenin mai + miwa kasumi + gakuganji yoshinobu (mentions of itadori yuji + ieiri shoko) from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of violence + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 02 march

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 5.8k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : assault 

↳ next episode : small fry and reverse retribution

↳ barista’s notes : hi there everyone! right now i know i haven’t been the most active i have been but i really thankful on how patient you all are ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ my procrastination has reach a new all time high since my birthday is on saturday and i am dreading becoming 18 because that means i will be a legal adult and i also have exams soon...ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ moving on from that, i hope you all enjoys today’s episode!

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

no cursed spells used this episode... 

but the little flick that Y/N does is inspired from this video here

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“You really need to stop with your assaults Gojo,” Fushiguro stated, as he pressed his index and middle finger on the middle of his forehead, as he remembered the pain that came along with your flick as well as complaining about the side head slap he had gained from you.

“Nah, you just got to stop asking stupid questions Fushiguro,” you commented back before asking Kugisaki want she was planning to get.

‘So make sure you’re not alone in this world like I am Y/N, I want you to be happy even when we’re both stuck with this burden!’

‘I’m trying mother,’ you thought, as you tightly gripped your phone that was still in your pocket.

                                              ꕥ

“I never really thought you were the type that would go to the beach,” you commented, as you leisurely walked towards the calm ocean with a pair of arms wrapped around yours (that was holding your shoes) since your mother wanted to walk side by side with you to enjoy this tranquil moment together.

“I never thought that about myself either, but it’s better to be surprised then going back to the city again, is it not?” your mother asked with a let out a gentle laugh before instantly halting the moment you both felt the warm water covering your bare feet.

“I guess so,” you stated before using your other arm to partly cover your face due to the sunlight brightly blinding your eyes. However, it seemed like where your mother was standing wasn’t causing her too much irritation - maybe it wasn't as bright from where she was.

Currently, it was sunset at Tatadohama beach - to which surprised you that there weren’t as many people as you thought - where your mother had taken you since she thought you both deserved a bit of a break before you could go back to school since it was the summer break and to be honest, you needed it since you and your mother just came back from a job of exorcising a grade-one curse while trying to escape the scene before any other jujutsu sorcerers came.

“You look beautiful though, your mother has good taste doesn’t she?” your mother teasingly asked in a rhetorical manner, as she took her time to observe you rather than the sunset that was in front of her. Right now, you were some simple jean shorts that were somewhat quite large letting the gentle breeze cool you down leading you to fasten a black belt with a silver buckle which tucked in a simple short-sleeved oversized white button-up shirt that was loose, so you wouldn’t feel tight around your upper body as well as dressing for the warm weather that was approaching.

“It is quite plain, but it’s simple and cute,” you commented, as you peered down at your mother’s clothing choices before looking back up to view the beautiful setting in front of you, as your mother smiled gently before placing her head on your shoulder.

“Promise me that you’ll be okay,” your mother suddenly uttered quietly, leading you to give off a confused look before turning your head down slightly only to discover a small smile on her face with softened eyes as if she was relishing the moment with you.

“You’re acting like you're going to die tomorrow,” you comedically commented, leading your mother to laugh at your statement which caused you to giggle slightly since your mother’s laugh was always contagious when you were with her. Taking a deep breath in to calm down, your mother slowly calmed down before lifting her head up as she sighed.

“Well, anything can happen and I want your word that you will do anything to be safe,” your mother expanded on her previous statement, causing you to turn to her to look at her in the eye, trying to see and understand what your mother really wanted you to know before you nodded at her with a small smile.

“I promise mother” 

                                               ꕥ

“Oi Y/N, wake up”

Slowly opening your eyes, you slowly blinks a few times as you try to get a clearer view from what you were looking at before steadily realising that you were at the track field where you were training with the rest of the students.

Shifting your eyes to look up slightly, only to discover all the upperclassmen looking down at you with the tree leaves covering you from the sunlight that was beaming down right now.

‘Oh...that’s right, I’m at Jujutsu Tech’

“Sorry for making you fight with all of us, I bet you were exhausted, but we need you to check up on Megumi and Nobara since they went to do some errands,” Panda expressed with hands pressed together as a sign of forgiveness.

“Kelp,” Inumaki commented as if affirming Panda’s statement leading you to sit up slowly before stretching your arms to get read of the stiffness that was consuming them before taking in Zenin’s outstretched arm to help you up - something you both been doing for quite some time during the week - before picking up the black track top of brought out for today’s training that you were laying on top of.

“Sorry for sleeping, where are they?” you asked, as you covered your mouth to yawn since you didn’t want to seem rude to your second-year seniors.

“They should be getting a few drinks for themselves and us from the vending machines, they didn’t want to wake you up, but we knew they probably need some help remembering what we want,” Zenin answered, as she used her thumb to point behind her the direction you needed to take.

“Sorry, I’ll get going then,” you commented before tying the track top around your waist before picking up your black katana since you didn’t want to leave it alone before waving at them when you were beginning to head off.

“I’ll see you guys later,” you mentioned before Inuamki shouted ‘Salmon’ back at you before you swiftly made your way up the stone steps to find both your classmates Fushiguro and Kugisaki to get the drinks that the other wanted since you knew that they’ll probably both forget or take too long for your senior’s liking.

“I’m surprised she can still run after all those practice matches,” Panda stated, as he continued to stare at the direction that you headed out in.

“She’s strong, there is no surprise Gojo has taken her into his family and out of training to take some missions,” Zenin commented before continuing with, “she comes back really quickly to resume training with us,”.

“Mustard leaf,” Inumaki mentioned, as he nodded at his classmate’s remark about you before all of the second years went off for their walk, as they gave you time to run your errands before coming back to the field to train for the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event.

                                               ꕥ

Looking at her drinks in front of her, Kugisaki was disappointed at the lack of variety that the machines had as she groaned in annoyance before pressing her choice of the cold drink she wanted before checking to make sure there was orange juice in the vending machine since she knew you would want some when she got back to you.

“Couldn’t they put in a few more vending machines?” Kugisaki asked in an irritated tone, as she bent down to collect her drink from the takeout port before turning around to look at her classmate, who was standing behind her.

“They can’t. There are only so many workers who can come in here,” Fushiguro answered, as he turned to look at her only for the female to turn back around to place more money into the coin slot. “What else are you buying?” Fushiguro asked since he knew that Kugisaki as well as himself didn’t know what the upperclassmen wanted - that was usually your job.

“Gojo really likes orange juice, so I wanted to buy her some since she did train with all of us, I bet she’s still sleeping,” Kugisaki commented before contemplating if you wanted to bottle or carton version of the citrus juice since she didn’t know if you always bought the carton one on purpose.

However, before she could come to the conclusion on what you probably wanted, she noticed from the corner of her eye that there were two people standing at the other side of the outdoor hallway they were at. From what she can observe, it seemed like those two people were from Jujutsu Tech due to their uniforms as the male had what seemed to be an angry expression while the other student - who looked similar to Zenin Maki - had a sly smile on her face.

“What are you doing here, Zenin-senpai?” Fushiguro asked in confusion since he wasn’t expecting anyone from Kyoto Metropolitan Curse Technical College to come to their side.

“Oh, she’s one, too?” Kugisaki queried while turning her head to look at Fushiguro before continuing with, “They do seem similar, are they sisters?” as she turned back to look at the female student to get a closer look at her.

“They’re twins,” Fushiguro answered quickly.

“Don’t call me that, Fushiguro-kun. You make me sound the same as Maki, call me Mai,” Mai stated, as she gave the two Tokyo students a wink.

“So there are the pinch hitters for Okkotsu and the third-years?” the male student stated with a hostile tone while glaring at them with a look of pure disappointment.

“We came here with the principal because we were worried about you. Your classmate died, right? Was that rough? Or did you think nothing of it?” Mai asked with the smirk still painted on her face, leading Fushiguro and Kugisaki to tense at her sudden but somewhat offensive questions.

“What are you trying to say?” Fushiguro asked tensely, as he suddenly felt a slight bit of annoyance building up in his stomach.

“It’s okay, some things are hard to say out loud, so I’ll say it for you,” Mai amusingly stated before proceeding, “‘Vessel’ makes it sound nice, but it means he was a half-curse monster. Having such a tainted, inhuman being beside you brazenly calling himself a jujutsu sorcerer must have been revolting right? Aren’t you feeling better now that he’s dead?”. However, her questions only lead to extremely vexed expressions appearing on both of the Tyoko student’s faces.

“Mai, don’t bring up such pointless topics, I’m only here to see if these guys are fit to take Okkotsu’s place, that’s all I want to know,” the large male declared as he took a few steps forwards before throwing his school jacket to the side, leading to the shikigami sorcerer to tense up once again as he began to worry what was about to happen.

“Fushiguro, was it?” the large male asked before shouting in a proud manner…

“What kind of woman is your type?”

Suddenly perplexed, Fushiguro as well as Kugisaki, shifted their heads to the side simultaneously to convey their unexpected confusion to the two Tokyo students especially to the male that had just asked the weird as well as absurd question.

“Depending on your answer, I’ll beat you half to death right here and drag Okkotsu, or at least the third-years, out to the exchange event,” the large Kyoto student threatened as he processed to unexpectedly and violently ripped his purple shirt into shreds, showcasing his large muscular upper body before positioning himself in his usual fighting stance as he then suddenly announced, “by the way, my type is a tall woman with a big ass!”.

“Why do I have to talk about my taste in women with a guy I just met?” Fushiguro annoyingly asked as he began to express an irritated expression on his face at the Kyoto student that suddenly declared a fight out of nowhere.

“He’s right. That’s a tall hurdle for an antisocial guy,” Kugisaki unintentionally comedically commented, as she pointed at her stoic classmate, leading Fushiguro to express a more vexed expression.

“You be quiet. This is confusing enough already. You’ll just make it more complicated,” Fushiguro mentioned as an irked mark became more visible on his right cheek, displaying his displeasure on what was happening right now.

“Kyoto, third-year, Todo Aoi,” the Kyoto Tech sorcerer introduced himself. “Introduction over,” Todo announced as he then continued by saying, “now we’re friends. Hurry up and answer, if you prefer men, that’s fine too,”.

“A person’s fetishes reflect everything about them,” Todo explained, indicating the reason why he was asking his laughable question in the first place. “People with boring taste in women are boring people themselves,” Todo passionately proclaimed, as if he was presenting a speech to the whole of Japan at this moment in time before he exclaimed, “I hate boring men.”

“And I hate drags like you”

Turning his head slightly to view what was going on behind him, Todo managed to get a glimpse of a person that was right behind his school mate. A female standing with her hands in her pockets with what seemed to be a katana hanging horizontally unlike Okkotsu, who had his vertically, with a nonchalant expression painted on her face.

“Also your drag ass friend, she has quite a big mouth for a Grade three sorcerer from what I can sense, is this what I’m really fighting against Fushiguro?” you asked before you started to walk past the other sorcerer as you made your way to the vending machine to grab the drinks that the second-years usually requested when they made you run errands during a break from training.

“Gojo! You’re awake?” Kugisaki asked as she smiled at you before quickly mentioning there was money already in the machine since she was planning to get you your drink.

“You heard everything?” Fushiguro questioned as he turned his view to you, only to discover you pressing on the button that correlated to the carton of orange juice as you mentioned to Kugisaki that you were going to pay her back before turning your head to look at your other classmate.

“Yeah, I heard everything. You guys are loud and to be honest, both of them need to shut up, they’re such drags,” you muttered disrespectfully since you could tell they were at least a year or two years above you in the academic year.

However, it seemed like your insult didn’t stop Todo from explaining his passion for people’s preferences in a partner as he continued to declare his speech with pride, much to your complete dismay.

“As I was saying, the exchange event is where my soul can be free as blood boils and flesh clashes, who knows what I might do if my last exchange event ends up boring me?” Todo rhetorically questioned as he maintained his fighting stance as if he was ready to pounce within a  second with a confident smile on his face.

‘Shut up...I have to meet with Gojo-sensei later and I don’t want a massive headache to come in before it becomes worse when I see him’

“Hey, aren’t the Jujutsu Tech schools four-year schools?” Kugisaki asked in an unsure manner as she turned to look at Fushiguro since she was trying to take note from you on what drinks to buy in case you weren’t able to for the seniors. However, she was confused about why Todo mentioned that this was going to be his last exchange event when he was a thrid-year.

“Only third-years and under can join the exchange event,” Fushiguro quickly answered Kugisaki’s question as she then let out an understandable ‘Hmm’ to inform her classmate that she acknowledged what he had just told her before swiftly turning back to notice that you had brought a cold water bottle for what seemed to be for Zenin (Maki) since you and her were looking at your phone to see a note displayed on the screen.

“As a show of kindness, I’ll let you off only half-dead right now,” Todo threatened again before repeating the weird question that instinctively started this whole situation, “answer me, Fushiguro. What kind of woman is your type?”

“Is this some kind of comedy routine?” the shikigami user angrily asked, as he increasingly got annoyed at what was happening right now and was confused on why he was picked in the first place.

“Don’t get into a fight, I seriously can’t be bothered to use any reverse cursed technique to heal your wounds if you do and we need to get back to training soon,” you stated before pressing on the last button for the last drink that was needed to be given for Inumaki when you get back.

However, it seemed as if both of your classmates didn’t listen to you since Kugisaki was now observing the other student behind Todo due to her uniform. “Is that your summer uniform?” Kugisaki asked in a light tone, as she admired the outfit before continuing with “ticks me off, but it’s nice”.

“Are you both even listening?” you muttered in annoyance before grabbing the small bag - that you kept from the time you went to your mother’s grave - in the pocket of your nylon cargo pants to place the drinks after you had got them from the dispenser since you didn't want to struggle to carry them.

Looking to his side, Fushiguro looked at his classmate as he began to analyse the situation that was currently going on. From what he could gather, Kugisaki was unarmed and didn’t have her usual hammer with her like she normally did meaning he was wanting to avoid any confrontation that could happen at this moment in time, while you were armed with your usual katana, yet he didn’t want to risk you revealing your true identity to the Kyoto students - not like he really had to worry about that.

‘Not forgiving people isn’t a bad thing. That’s just part of your kindness, isn’t it?’

That’s what his sister said to him once.

“I don’t have a particular preference, as long as she has unshakeable character, I won’t ask for more,” Fushiguro answered, to which you were surprised since you predicted that he wasn’t the type to reveal that sort of information. On the other hand, it seemed like Mai was pleased with the answer as she smiled sweetly at the boy causing you to shudder.

‘Ain’t...they like….family…?’

“Not a bad answer, if you had said something like ‘big boobs,’ I’d have killed you,” Kugisaki mentioned with a please expression on her face since she was relieved at the fact Fushiguro wasn’t suggestive like the Kyoto student in front of you three right now.

“Shut up,” Fushiguro muttered in an irritated tone.

However, it seemed like not everyone was pleased with his answer, as a tear was shed on a cheek.

“I knew it...You’re boring, Fushiguro,” Todo stated in a depressed manner before swiftly pushing himself to swing Fushiguro violently outside the hallway you were standing.

“DIDN’T I SAY NOT TO GET INTO FIGHTS, YOU DRAG?!” you screamed, as you turned your head to the direction where Fushiguro was struck away.

“FUSHIGURO!” Kugisaki panicked as she began to rush to his aid before a pair of arms was wrapped around her to halt her movement.

“Poor Fushiguro-kun, even a talented second-grade jujutsu sorcerer is nothing more than a first-year against the top-grade Todo-senpai, I’ll have to comfort him later,” Mai expressed with a sickly-sweet tone. However, you already had something to say.

“That may be true, but your Todo-senpai is nothing against a special-grade,” you mentioned with a smirk on your face, causing the female sorcerer to look towards you with widened eyes before suddenly remembering what Kugisaki called you by.

“Gojo…” Mai stuttered.

“Gojo, I’m okay! Just make sure Fushiguro is,” Kugisaki said to you with a proud smile on her face, causing you to drop the bag that you had in hand before quickly untying the red charm that was at the end of your katana.

‘I don’t need to unsheathe my katana, but I can’t use any of my curse spells to restrain him, so the chain will have to do’

“Hold this for me!” you shouted as you swiftly tossed the charm in her direction to which she caught easily since her arms still had movement before you rushed towards the scene where Fushiguro and Todo was.

‘This is such a drag right now…’ you thought, as you made it outside to find Fushiguro kneeling on the ground with a few new scratches on his face as well as his now stained blue track. However, it seemed as if Todo wasn’t done with his first attack since he was talking towards the Tokyo student like he was his prey.

On the other hand, you didn’t seem to care as you looked at him with an annoyed expression - even though you knew it wasn’t his fault. “Didn’t I say not to get into any fights? I can’t be bothered to use any reversed cursed techniques right now and I don’t want to bother Shoko-san since I need to train with her to know how to use it properly!” you raged, yet once again, it seemed like both of the male sorcerer’s weren’t listening to you.

“I knew at first glance that you were a boring guy, but you shouldn’t judge a person by their looks, right?” Todo questioned rhetorically again, causing the flames of rage to increase inside your soul since this situation was getting a little too similar to the one back at the detention centre.

“So I went out of my way to ask you, but you just trampled on my kindness,” Todo whined with a pout on his face while wiping the dripping tears that continued to fall.

“Is your brain as pineapple as your head?” Fushiguro insulted, as he gave the senior a weirded-out look.

“You’re the one to talk, hedgehog!” you screamed in annoyance since you were getting frustrated at the fact that no one was listening to you.

“I heard you don’t use cursed techniques.” Fushiguro randomly mentioned as he got up on his feet causing you to look at him with a death glare as well as suddenly being curious about what he meant by ‘don’t use cursed techniques’.

“Huh? Oh, that’s rumour’s false, I used them against the special-grade,” Todo plainly stated like it was an everyday face before raising his arm to wave his hand side to side as if to ‘slap’ away the rumours that were going on about him before continuing with, “but I heard rumours going around about a girl that went toe-to-toe with Sukuna, she was fighting with you right? Where is she?”

‘MAYBE THE GIRL THAT IS BEHIND YOU, SHOUTING AT YOU DRAGS!’

“That’s a relief to hear!” Fushiguro declared as if he was confident, causing you to look at him enraged with fury.

��THAT IS NOT A RELIEF TO HEAR, YOU DRAG!” you screamed, as you were now handing on an extremely thin piece of thread that was going to snap any second, leading you to attack both of them if this got out of hand.

However, once again, Fushiguro and Todo didn’t listen to you for one second as the shikigami sorcerer began to signal his shikigami to appear with the familiar hand-sign of ‘Nue’ back with you fought with him against Sukuna and ‘Gama’ from when you were training with him - yet, you were completely perplexed on what he had combined when both together.

Suddenly, a familiar shadow began to swiftly emerge from the ground before it suddenly took form into something you didn’t really expect from the Ten-Shadow Technique sorcerer.

“Frogs with wings?” you muttered, as you stared at the sight in complete surprise since you didn’t expect to see a few frogs with wings appearing in front of you - you never thought you see something like this in your life, to be honest.

“Bottomless Well!” Fushiguro chanted before a few of the frogs croaked in response causing you to stare that the creature in a now unreadable expression.

‘They will be weaker than their counterpart shikigami but they do have many benefits....didn’t Gojo-sensei mention something about the Kamo’s family?’

On the other hand, it seemed like your future opponent in the exchange event didn’t seem so nervous about the technique. Of course, from what you remembered from training as well as some knowledge that you had gained just from seeing one movement from Todo, you had come to the conclusion that he was a close-range fighter, probably had some experience with weapons since it would be foolish if a fighter didn’t have any sense it was a risk of them just having knowledge with their hands.

However, before you could even continue to gain more knowledge just by looking at the back of the well muscular sorcerer, there was a quick shift in the air causing you to snap out of your trance only to find Todo behind suddenly behind Fushiguro as he processed to wrap his arms around your classmate’s waist.

“Flimsy and shallow...Both your body and your taste in women!” Todo shouted before lifting Fushiguro upwards like he weighed nothing before aggressively smashing his headfirst into the ground behind him, causing you to discover how flexible the Kyoto student was before he suddenly jumped up into the air to give his opponent a punch, only for Fushiguro to dodge just in time, yet that didn’t seem to last since the second he moved away to gain some distance, he was violently smacked with a fist.

“Fushiguro!” you shouted, before quickly forcing the soles of your sheet to push your body forward to an extreme length, just in time to get in between both of the male sorcerers that were fully ignoring you since the moment you entered into the conversation to grab the drinks.

“Gojo!” Fushiguro yelled out in a panic since he was extremely worried that you were now taking a hit for him.

However, it seemed like Todo was now suddenly the one that was worried since his incoming punch seemed to hit something really small since it didn’t cover all his knuckles, yet it didn’t break like he thought it would, causing him to let the debris slowly clear away as his eyes began to notice the sight of a sleek black wooden scabbard standing vertically from the ground halting his extremely large fist, while you were kneeling down behind it, holding the handle with an extremely displeased look on your face with Fushiguro behind you as your other hand had a grip on the collar of his blue track jacket.

“You know Fushiguro, you are full of surprises but a complete drag when it comes to not listening to me,” you muttered, before slowly letting go of his collar as your turned your now free hand to face Kyoto Student in front of you, who was looking down at you with a shocked expression on his face.

“Todo Aoi right? You see, Gojo-sensei asked me to meet up with him and I don’t want a headache since I know he’s gonna give me one later, so I’ll see you later okay?” you sinisterly stated, before opening your palm to him as you slowly bend your middle finger towards you while placing your thumb on top of it, right on the nail.

“That looks like a nice construction sight,” you nonchalantly mentioned as you looked up at the wooden structure behind you before speedily flicking out your middle finger, causing Todo’s body to suddenly be pushed back with an extremely large force of cursed energy leading to the wooden panels to instantly break once his body made contact before you assumed his body landed on the wooden flooring that was above since you couldn’t see him anymore.

“Gojo…” Fushiguro muttered in shock as he didn’t expect something like that to happen before he noticed the same hand that flicked his opponent away was coming towards him with the same gesture. 

Flicking his forehead gently, you turned to look at him with a straight face before you used the same palm to let your cursed energy become slowly positive with some concentration to heal his wound that was on his head.

“It’s not much since I haven’t perfected it yet, but it will deal with the blood loss before you go to Shoko-san, you drag” you commented before sighing.

‘There was no need for me to remove the charm after all, but that’s enough for me to gain information for the event’

“Megumi! Y/N!” someone shouted, causing you both to look up only to find your second-year seniors Inumaki and Panda looking down below you to where you remembered flicking Todo towards, leading you to assume that they went to where there was the most ruckus was happening. However, next to Panda was Todo, who smirked down at the sight of both of you below.

“Fushiguro, let’s train our hardest okay?” you muttered, so only your classmate could hear, leading him to look at your with confused eyes before you turned to him with a smile, “you’re really strong, but I know you and Kugisaki can get stronger, so just follow me when I need you to okay?” you asked, before standing up on your feet once you managed to stop the blood loss from Fushiguro’s head.

“Panda-senpai! Inumaki-senpai! Can you take Fushiguro to Shoko-san, Gojo-sensei said he needs me for a discussion, I assume Maki-san is with Kugisaki!” you yell out.

“Salmon!” Inuamki shouted back before all of the three sorcerers were out of your sights, causing you to turn back to Fushiguro before giving your hand to him to help himself up.

‘Grade-one Todo Aoi and grade-three Zenin Mai ha?’

                                          ꕥ

“Ah Y/N, my daughter there you are!” Gojo cheered in delight once he saw you on the other side of the sliding door before you decided to step in since it was left open, to who you assumed was your adoptive dad that opened it earlier for his own reason.

“Excuse me,” you muttered before taking a quick glance around the room before noticing that there were only two more people with you and Gojo right now. From a side glance, you noticed a girl, probably the same age as you or maybe a year older at the latest, with long blue hair with a slightly slanted fridge wearing a suit that seemed to suit her really well even if her youthful and adorable face. 

‘A semi grade two? No..maybe three like Mai…’

However, as your eyes shifted to the sight on the opposite side where Gojo was seated, there was an old man seated while holding onto a wooden cane, who seemed to be somewhere in his late 80s but you wouldn’t tell since he seemed too hollow for you liking, yet something about him gave you an off-putting feeling.

“I wanted to tell you about the two special-grade curses that attacked me the other day,” Gojo happily mentioned with a smile on his face, causing you to look at him with a confused expression since he seemed too happy for someone that got attacked.

“Why do you look so happy? That should be the opposite reaction Gojo-sensei,” you remarked, as you made your way towards him only for his response to be a little pout.

“How many times do I have to tell you? You can call me your dad,” Gojo childishly whined.

“Never,” you shut down his offer as quickly as you could before uttering him to tell you about the special curses he wanted to inform you about, only for him to suddenly pull out a piece of paper with two childish drawings on them, causing you to look at the art in a fed-up manner before snatching it off his hand to get a closer look at the curses that he masterfully drew.

“As I said before, the two cursed spirits were capable of communication and they probably have allies who are just as strong,” Gojo declared in a serious manner, causing you to shiver at the 180-degree personality turn that he had done right in front of you. 

“It’s not just our enemies, either. Hakari, Okkotsu, your Todo and now my daughter Gojo. The level of our students has risen drastically in recent years, as well,” Gojo stated as he stared at the old man before he processed with, “then there was last year’s incident with Geto Suguru and now, the appearance of Sukuna’s vessel,”.

“What are you trying to say?” the old man asked, as he looked at your adoptive father with an expressionless look on his face (not that you could ever tell if there was any expression in the first place).

“Hehe, you don’t know? The wave of power you guys have been trying to hold back with your pointless status and traditions has grown bigger than you can handle and is now descending upon us. You won’t be able to measure the coming age with the classification of ‘special grade’ if you think I’m the only one who’ll be fighting back, you’re going to get hurt, old man,” Gojo declared with a smirk on his face as he felt the presence of the realisation that was coming to you now.

‘That man...was the reason why…..Itadori….’

“I think you are getting a bit out of line,” the old man lightly threatened in a lower tone as he glared at the sorcerer in front of him.

“I think it’s you that’s getting out of line,” you muttered in vexation as you glared down hostility at the man sitting on the opposite side of the table as the paper that you were holding began to crumble in your grasp. “If you get to kill someone by using me as a tool, let me return the favour next time with your head,” you threatened in a spiteful manner causing the old man to look at you with the same hollow eyes as he did with Gojo.

“Oh! Scary! Well, that's all I wanted to say, I’ll be going now with my daughter,” Gojo mentioned, as he got up from his seat before placing his hands on each of your upper arms to push you towards the direction of the door, before guiding himself through that gap that was left open.

“Oh, Principal Yaga will be coming in about two hours. Later!” Gojo departed cheekily, before closing the door as he then guided you away from the room the higher-up was in since he knew you were in a state of shock at the discovery you had made about your deceased classmate: Itadori Yuji.

‘Those higher-ups are so useless, all they do is command other sorcerers to do their dirty work while acting if they are superior dear. If I could, I would kill all of them’

‘Mother….’

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[dualdeixis]

u got any kh ships or headcanons? aren't u nob stan? when did u start watching that?what's the fav last thing you've read? do you have any aus or ocs from stuff u watch/read? have u read any fanfiction? which one was most impactful?

my goodness i can always count on my halla to feed me... i love you and hope you're well 😭

don't really have ships that i'm personally too passionate about, but for headcanons... dark chirithy says “isn’t darkness so sweet?” and i take this to mean that vanitas has a sweet tooth. like he’s the type to say white chocolate is his fav kind of chocolate and get sick from eating too much of it at once but it’s worth it to him bc he’s insane (affectionate)

if you mean mob as in mp100 then yes i got into it in summer 2017! a mere half year before the manga ended T_T i plan to reread it soon i miss it

i just recently finished a reread of blue exorcist and well. at one point i had to stop and draw this so i was clearly going through some things

[Image description: Digital doodles. The first one shows a person looking at a laptop with a tired smile. The text, in all caps, reads, "cute baby Rin and Yukio." The person covers their eyes with their hand and the text reads, "I dont want to see." The second doodle is an illustration of the text "taking a break to pace with my hands on my head." End image description.]

but other than that i'm finally getting myself to continue reading omniscient reader's viewpoint and it's also making me go through things

the concept for my oc sylejman actually started as a blue exorcist oc! but i thought the idea of "a human being possessed by their own qarin" was cool enough to expand into its own thing and that's where the others came from

i've linked it before but (i don't need you to) Worry for Me is probably the most impactful fic i've read. it's about vanitas and it's really good but i've only read it once because i feel like i need to wait for the Right Time to reread it (don't know when that's supposed to be but thus saith my brain)

[paper-n-ashes]

sparks and embers - chapter 1

Characters: Poe Dameron x Original Female Character, Kylo Ren x Original Female Character

Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron

Summary: Alexys is a doctor living a life of exclusivity on Raxus, hoping to survive through a peaceful existence, concealing herself from those she believes would use her, or kill her. When fate intervenes and instigates a perilous journey she'd been desperately trying to avoid, Alex finds herself caught in the middle of two sides in both war and love.

Preface: Let me say, I am immensely nervous about this. After months of back and forth inside my mind, I’ve decided to go for it and begin the long process of moving my long running series to Tumblr, along with changing the name (something I’ve wanted to do for a long time). I hit a big emotional road block after over a year of writing and posting, so I’m hoping this move will eventually get me back into the swing. But for now, I’m looking forward to revisiting the beginning of this space love triangle.

If you’ve already read the saga, absolutely NO pressure to read again. Each chapter will be edited a little, but no major plot points will change. To any newcomers who find themselves interested, the story is already posted on AO3 if you are desperate to continue. Otherwise if you prefer reading on Tumblr, or simply like the forced breaks between chapters, I’ll be posting a new chapter every couple of days. I know it’s not written as reader insert, but I just couldn’t make the story work out in any other fashion. I poured a lot of love and heart into Alexys so I hope you’ll give her a chance.

Chapter 1 - Crash Landing

Words: 3.4k

Chapter Tags/Warnings: descriptions of severe injury including blood and bone, medical procedures 

Read on AO3

~

I felt it before I heard it.

A booming crash of metal and glass, sending a shattering vibration through the walls and furniture around me. After the years of mostly silence I’d become accustomed to, the noise that came pummelling into my ears almost made me shriek in surprise. It was short lived, coming and going in a flicker so quick I had to wonder if it was real at all.

Lights began to flash, blinking rapidly in uneven time. The mixture of harsh beeps indicated something was faulting my electricity circuits, plunging me into the darkness of night over and over.

I could only question myself again at the plausibility of this being a dream, but the slow, increasing creak emanating from beyond the walls of this building brought me to a certainty.

Something had crashed outside.

Fear radiated through my limbs, leaving me stuck where I was standing for a few moments, before an uncontrollable urge of selflessness and honestly, curiosity, forced me to move and exit the safety of my clinic.

There wasn’t really a way to prepare for what I saw not metres away from my front entrance. A ship, an X-wing of some variety, was wrecked into itself, varying metals twisted and curled over each other, flames beginning to billow out from the creases. I could feel the heat of them rise as I cautiously stepped forward, taking in the scene with wide eyes. Only seconds had passed when I saw it – the movement of something – no, a person, demanding my attention. The pilot of this battered machine had been thrown just beyond the edge of its hull, broken transparisteel smattering the ground around them.

Hm, the Resistance should probably investigate their flight safety measures.

That thought quickly flittered away when the pilot moved again, this time with a painful moan echoing into the atmosphere. The switch inside quickly flipped, and an all too familiar feeling of conviction flooded through.

This is your cue Alexys.

I raced quickly to the pilot and knelt on the ground before them, fingers carefully removing the black and red helmet with both urgency and restraint as to not cause any more possible damage to their head or neck. The moan I'd heard just moments before let me know this person had some kind of airway, but it was pertinent I assess further. With the helmet gone I noticed the short, lightly waved black hair of a man, his eyes pulled closed, a few bruises and smudges of grey soot smattered over his face. His chest was moving, laboured breathing with the occasional heave on inhale.

At least he’s breathing.

“It’s alright,” I insisted. “I’m here to help you.”

There wasn’t any discernible response from the pilot other than a groan that withered away slowly, and that in itself was worrying. Kneeling over his body, I placed two fingers under the line of his jaw, halfway down, trying to feel for a pulse. I could sense the thump of blood under my fingertips, but it was too slow, too faint, too uneven.

Not great, but it was enough for now.

I began to scan over his body, knowing it was time to assess what was giving him reason to cry out in pain. There were severe burns on his left arm which had caused some of his flight suit to stick to the skin, with more scalds reaching down to his torso and abdomen. His right arm was almost definitely broken with the limb morphed into an irregular angle almost halfway along.

Without being able to look at them directly to ascertain whether I was going to be able to move him, I pressed on his hips gently, silently praying he hadn’t broken his pelvis. He muffled softly, but anyone who had actually shattered the bone would have screamed. As my eyes continued to scan down, it became obvious all too suddenly the shattered edge of his right femur bone poking out of the orange flight suit.

Kriff, this is not ideal.

I wanted to kick myself for not noticing it before, but there was no time, not with the very real possibility of him bleeding out in front of my eyes. My feet moved under me, racing back to the clinic room, knowing where the bandage and splint lay waiting, along with the anaesthetic injections I had stocked in the pharmacy cupboard.

He was certainly going to need them.

Within minutes I was back to the ground with the pilot, clicking together the injector handle and vial, piercing the needle straight into his thigh above the fracture site. I wouldn’t be able to wait for it to dull most of the pain, so internally, I braced myself for the scream I was about to elicit from this poor human's chest. The second I started to wrap the bandage around the splint, a piercing wail echoed through the air, almost causing me to hesitate. Still, my hands continued to haphazardly wrap the white material around his leg, pushing through the guilt it ignited. 

Suddenly, the noise stopped.

My eyes darted to his face as his head slumped over on its side. “Hey!” I shouted into his face as I scrambled back to the top end of his limp body. “Hey can you hear me? Open your eyes if you can hear me!”

There was no response.

I pinched at the muscle on his shoulder, harder and harder to elicit any kind of reaction. Nothing. My hand pulled into a closed fist and grinded against his sternum. “Come on, open those eyes if you can feel this!”

Still nothing.

Again I took check of his breathing, chest still rising and falling, yet shallow and with little power. His heartbeat had begun to race, but through my fingertips I could feel the strain in the muscle. Something was seriously wrong, even more so than his other injuries. Something internally. If I didn’t get him into the clinic, he was going to die.

In a snap decision, I chose to forgo an attempt to run back and locate the hover-stretcher. It would take too much time to set up and power on, time this man didn’t have. I would have to move him myself.

How the hell am I going to do this?

With my arms hooked and locked under his armpits I began to drag the pilots hefty body backwards towards the clinic behind me, thankfully only a few meters away, barely making it past the entryway when a roar of flames overtook the X-wing. I looked up to see the blaze almost completely engulfing the ship, a ferocious heat searing into my eyes and face. With even more urgency I heaved the body into the large clinic room, getting up and slamming the door just in time. Just before a house rattling explosion sent shockwaves into the atmosphere.

Lucky didn’t seem to be an appropriate feeling considering the situation I was in, but at least no one had died. Yet. With my last bit of brute strength, I hoisted the pilots limp body onto the closest hospital bed, noticing then the trail of red liquid I’d brought along with me.

Oh no no no.

With him still lifeless, I tugged at his body and limbs to lie flat on the bed, scurrying to my medical trolley and hauling it back to where the pilot laid, ragged breaths still thankfully escaping into the air. Snatching the heavy shears from the top drawer, I began to tear through the thick fabric of the flight suit, unclipping and removing as much of the life support vest and belt as I could. I had to be careful not to rip away the fabric that melted into the burns scattered all over his body, the number of them increasing as I peeled away the suit, starting from his legs, up to his abdomen and chest over to his upper arms. His torso was in full view now, a smattering of dark hair over his pectorals, underneath which showed the bruises of his crash’s impact.

Oh he’s definitely got some broken ribs.

As my gaze scanned over his skin, I could finally isolate where all that blood had escaped from. A deep penetrating wound just below the last rib on his left flank. As I registered his quick shallow breaths and the uneven rise in his chest, it became obvious.

Collapsed lung.

Whatever had pierced through his chest had poked an extremely damaging hole in his lung, the pleural space now filling with air, leaving no room for his lung to expand. My following movements were swift and calculated, almost automatic. A pointed scalpel was soon in my hand, poised to cut. But I couldn’t help but hesitate. It had been so long since I’d had to do this. And yet, somehow, concern for this stranger’s life was quick to weave it’s way through, dissolving my fear into pure resolve.

I made my incision in between the 4th and 5th ribs, using a clamp to push into the underlying tissue and past the pleural cavity, a gloved hand then entering to check I’d made it through. With an instinctive confidence, I guided the chest tube between the layers of tissue, undoing the ratchet of the clamp to an immediate rush of air. The pilot’s chest heaved in relief, along with my own.

One crisis averted.

But there was more to do. Connecting a drain to the tube, I haphazardly sutured it in place, before flying to the pharmacy cupboard. My stock of bacta was limited, returning with an already prepared vial into the pressurised injector, reminding myself I would need to use it sparingly if this stranger was going to make it through the full extend of his injuries. I had cursed at myself only a few times in the years past at being so far removed from a higher level medical centre that would be overflowing with bacta and medical droids that could help in exactly this kind of situation, but the thought had never burned me so badly. There was no way to know if I could keep this man alive with the resources that yesterday I had been more than comfortable with. I would just have to try.

I injected some of the bacta solution throughout the surrounding area of the wound and covered it with heavy dressing, knowing the bleeding would quickly be curbed. Unfortunately, the wound itself would take a few days to fully close, only ever being able to afford lower quality bacta. Before moving on to the burns, I placed some basic monitoring, lines extending from electrical dots over his chest, wrist and neck to the data monitor above the bed. As the numbers lit up on the holo screen, I felt myself breathe a small sigh of relief, having prepared for a much worse result. His heart rate was better, oxygen levels returning to normal, blood pressure not optimal by any means but high enough to sustain his life, for now.

After securing an oxygen filter over his battered face, I continued to inspect and clean as many of the small and more sizeable burns dotting his body. Even with the many I had uncovered, the one extending from his shoulder past his elbow was the one of most concern. Third degree and extremely unhappy looking. If I wasn’t quick to treat this, it could leak even more fluid from his already compromised circulatory system. I was thankful he still remained unconscious when I began to slowly shed the charred material melted into the skin layer. I couldn’t help but shudder as I remembered the initial scream this man had let out, knowing I would be hearing it now if not for his comatose state.

Covering the immense scald in as much salve as I could spare, I began to wrap it in protective antibacterial bandage, soon moving on to protect his many blisters and deeper burns with dressings. Glancing at the monitor screen, he was still stable, and swallowed hard. Now it was time to attempt possibly the most daunting part of this patient’s treatment.

His femur was still sticking through the tissue of his thigh, slightly dried dark red blood creating lightning strike looking lines extending from the wound.

I need to get some blood into him before moving this.

I quickly got to work on an IV cannula, his poor blood pressure making it significantly more difficult than it should have been. Two bags of O- blood were all I had, and a wave of dread coursed through me with the thought of that not being enough if this all went wrong. My fist squeezed the fast flow pump of the IV line, pushing fresh blood urgently into his system, making his blood pressure rise only slightly. With the last of the red liquid trickling through the line I wheeled over the portable X-Ray. It was so old the mechanical arm screeched at me as I positioned it into place over the pilot’s leg. The bone had to be at least somewhat in place before getting the bacta to work its magic or this guy might walk with two uneven legs for the rest of his life.

If he actually made it through the rest of his injuries, that is.

Shaking my arms out at my side, I sucked in a few deep breaths to build my stamina. Unfortunately, this stranger was stuck with a small framed female to attempt reducing his severe fracture. With one last inhale, I drew the courage to pull as hard as I could horizontally at the knee joint, digging my fingers into a vice grip around the limb and yanking it towards me. To my relief, the fractured edge of the femur to slipped back into the hole it was peeking out from, settling back under the skin.

Thank all the stars in the galaxy he’s not awake for this.

I quickly pressed the image button on the X-ray to assess the progress I’d made. The faint white lines of bone edges were stark enough on the grey background of the image. The fracture wasn’t reduced even nearly enough. I prepared myself again, with another deep breath I pulled hard. This time my efforts were forced into angling the lower portion of bone to try and lock it back into place. The grinding of bone edges could be felt through my fingers, pushing myself to pull even harder, creating more space between the fracture in the hope of giving a fighting chance of lining up the splintered edges. My muscles were whining, begging for this to be over, tears of exhaustion soon stinging at the edges of my eyes.

With one final twisting motion there was a sudden click.

Finally.

My relief was short lived.

It was slow at first, before racing faster. A stream of dark red blood pooling at the wound the broken bone had made.

Oh maker no.

Within moments the pace of the blood quickened. I shot my hands to the open flesh site, pressing down hard in an attempt to disturb the flow. The liquid quickly covered my gloved hands, already sure I’d sliced into the femoral artery. The pressure of my hands into the area made the blood spurt out onto my arms, my clothes, my face, everywhere. The monitor was screaming, blood pressure falling quickly. Wiping some of the hot coppery fluid away from my left eye, I slid my fingers back into the gash, moving desperately to stop the overflow before the man lying in front of me bled out, knowing it would all be my fault.  

You have to do it Alexys. He will die if you don’t.

The voice nagged at me, pleading to do what it wanted.

He’s with the Resistance! If he survives, if he contacts them, they’ll find me. And they’ll know.

It is time to decide. His life. Or yours.

Seconds ticked by fleetingly, numbers flashing on the monitor trickling down, the speed of blood flow from the pilot’s leg stubbornly keeping it’s intensity.

Everything I’d done to get here, to isolate myself so no one could find me. It would all amount to nothing. My easy, albeit lonely life, would be gone. All because of this stranger.

But I couldn’t let him die. Not like this.

In one flash, I removed my hands from inside the wound, ripping off my gloves and placing two palms at either side of the leg. With closed eyes, I willed the energy out of the depths of its slumber. From the darkened corner of my mind I pulled it back into existence, opening the gate I’d locked it inside for so long, letting it finally burst through and fill up my brain. From there it down through my neck, through my chest and down my arms, right to the end of my fingertips. Its warming glow was almost comforting, friendly. I would have basked in it for a while if not for the life that hung in the balance before me.

Through the pads of my fingerprints I pushed the stream outwards, connecting past the skin of this innocent human being, and felt the overwhelming heat of pain and dimming of energy.

Hurry, he’s dying.

I began to map out the tissue of his leg, frustratingly slowly, starting at the smallest of capillaries, weaving and winding through the flesh, connecting them through the maze of fat and muscle. I could feel the sweat forming on my forehead, my breathing forced and harsh. The vessels grew bigger as I pushed the energy through, skipping past broken points of other smaller injuries. I could fix them later.

Finally, I felt a molten warmth radiating close to where the maze had guided me. Racing to it, I sensed something pushing me back, the pressure of escaping fluid holding my efforts. I’d found the cut, but now I had to somehow knit it back together.

You’re taking too long.

The alarms of the monitor started to echo with a hollow ring inside my ear, fading until I could hear almost nothing. The world around me was blurry, only the image of vessel tissue and all-consuming redness visible in my minds eye. The energy I was expending began to burn me - I wouldn’t be able to keep this up for much longer. I reached out with it, what felt like many hands grasping desperately at the severed edge of the vessel, frantic yet delicate, pulling whatever tissue I could hold back into place.

Several fringes connected, the pressure pushing forcefully against me, making it harder to hold. I couldn’t help but begin to shake at the strain, the sound of my own heart pounding over the slowing heartbeat of the pilot. My grip was already beginning to fade before I started to sew the pieces of artery back together, an ache growing behind my eyes as I pierced an invisible needle through the tissue, over and over, still clawing at the unsewn edges as I made my way around the tube.

I was so close, the tension of the fluid still being driven out of the broken seal almost overcoming me. The unseen thread had almost made its way full circle. I was almost there.

My entire body rattled with exhaustion and pain. One final thread wove itself around the artery, its abrupt closure alleviating the strain on invisible fingers that had been clutching it all together.

You did it.

The energy dissipated quickly in a rolling wave, letting it retreat back into my mind, scampering to the secluded area of my brain, hidden once more. I felt light suddenly, dizzy, the world coming back into focus, screaming alarms growing louder. It was too much, all at once.

A sharp pang of fatigue enveloped every part of my senses and I faltered back, knees giving way, slumping to the floor.

Then, there was only darkness.

~

Next Chapter

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[cheri-translates]

good morning cherri, quick question! you know how Gavin gets jealous when you explained your post earlier. does that also implied to Victor as well expect like “possessive”?

to make this short, does victor also gets jealous and possessive? thank you and have a great morning!

Short answer: Victor does get jealous. I wouldn’t say that he’s possessive though!

Under the cut, references are made to Dance Date, Airplane Date, and Night Meeting Date (this one hasn’t been released in EN). 

It’s best to watch the EN dates first before proceeding (here’s a playlist), or you’ll get lost while reading my answer due to the lack of context 🤣

Also, I’m basing the lines off the CN version! 

I mentioned in Gavin’s analysis that there are many ways of coping with jealousy. Gavin pouts in a corner. 

Victor has a very very VERY endearing pattern of behaviour.

-

[ Notable Moment 1 - Dance Date ]

I’m pretty sure Victor has never been in love or even had a crush on anyone before MC, so the feeling of jealousy is very new to him at this point.

Initially, Victor is under the impression that MC plans to dance with him at the ball:

Victor looks at me curiously.

Victor: Why are you so earnest today? Looks like your dance partner isn’t easy to deal with. 

MC: [sighs] Yeah, he’s incredibly difficult to deal with. I hope I won’t embarrass him at the ball.

Victor: I see. [happy tone] Let’s continue then.

Strange, why does Victor seem so happy today...

-

MC: I can’t humiliate myself in front of Leo tonight.

Victor: Who’s Leo?

MC: The person in-charge at the TV station. Our company will be collaborating with them soon. He’s going to the charity ball tonight, and I need to dance with him.

Victor: He’s your dance partner?

MC: That’s right. What’s wrong?

Victor is quiet for a while, as though he didn’t expect this answer.

Victor: Nothing...

Victor is silent for a very long time. My high spirits are in stark contrast to him.

Although he continues teaching me how to dance, it’s evident that he isn’t as interested as before.

-

The fact that the usually stoic and quick-witted CEO Victor displays so many emotions and is rendered speechless reflects just how affected he is by the turn of events

There are many things going on in his silence - wondering why he was in such a good mood when teaching MC earlier, wondering why he feels disappointed that it’s Leo she would be dancing with...

He doesn’t know that he’s feeling jealous, so he simply brushes this foreign emotion aside. He doesn’t act on it. Especially since it’s probably overshadowed by other emotions like feeling dumb for overthinking and ending up wrong LOL

Notice how he doesn’t stop teaching MC how to dance?

Despite his obvious disappointment, he knows the dance is important to MC so the collaborative partnership isn’t ruined

So the idea of practicality pops up, where he separates his emotions from official business

And this will form part of the way Victor deals with jealousy later on

[ Notable Moment 2 - Dance Date Phone Call ]

Note: This call takes place in between the above scene and the ball

Victor: Did you practice so earnestly just so you could dance with him?

MC: Yeah... if I don’t dance well, he’ll definitely be humiliated.

Victor: In that case, I’m sure you’ll definitely humiliate him in front of everyone. Dancing isn’t something you can learn in one afternoon. Just give up - hurry home before it gets dark.

-

This is the first time Victor acts on his emotions, and we can break down his behaviour into four stages:

(1) Victor feels jealous

(2) The first thought in his mind: He knows firsthand that MC’s dancing is at least passable since he taught her himself. He knows she wouldn’t humiliate Leo

(3) He says something completely opposite: Tells MC that she can’t dance

(4) Inserts a practical explanation: Dancing isn’t something she can learn in one afternoon

-

Why Victor isn't possessive: Despite telling MC to “hurry home before it gets dark”, he doesn’t insist on it. He doesn't prohibit her from dancing with Leo either! 

Although there’s a possibility that the multinational meeting Leo had to abruptly attend during the ball had something to do with Victor, I’m hoping it isn’t true because he sounded genuine when asking MC if she was with her partner during this call, and when he asked MC why she was alone at the ball.

[ Notable Moment 3 - Airplane Date ]

MC: Mm... I think I should return to the economy class. I’m more comfortable sitting there.

Victor: Because you have a friend back there?

MC: He doesn’t really count as a friend. We’ve worked together a couple of times. He’s Leo, you know him.

Victor: Since he doesn't count as a friend, why go on a business trip with him?

MC: He invited me. And I’d like to have a travel companion in an unfamiliar place.

Victor: He’s invited you to travel with him before, hasn’t he?

MC: Yes, he did mention it once after shooting a show. But he’s just being polite. I wouldn’t take it seriously.

Victor: [sighs] ...

MC: If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going back.

Victor: Sit down. 

MC: But...

Victor: I asked you to sit down.

His forceful tone makes me slightly unhappy. I have absolutely no idea what’s wrong with him.

-

Testing the pattern:

(1) Victor feels jealous

(2) The first thought in his mind: He doesn’t want her to sit with Leo because he doesn’t trust Leo’s intentions

(3) He says something completely opposite: Questions MC’s decisions

(4) Inserts a practical explanation: That MC shouldn't go on a business trip with someone she isn’t friends with

-

Is Victor being possessive here: 

I would say he is being a little unreasonable here in forcing her to sit down, but in his defence, other factors causing her to remain in the seat are unrelated to him:

The turbulence

Her insisting on getting brandy and becoming a drunken mess

[ Notable Moment 4 - Airplane Date Phone Call ]

Victor: Enough about me. Who was that boarding the plane with you today?

MC: Oh, that’s the person-in-charge, Leo. We’ve worked together before. He’s a pretty good person, and I thought it’d be good to have a travel buddy in a foreign land.

Victor: How did you assess whether or not he’s a good person?

MC: Because he’s very warm and gentlemanly, and even carried my luggage.

Victor: Why are you always so simple-minded?

-

Testing the pattern:

(1) Victor feels jealous

(2) The first thought in his mind: He doubts Leo’s character

(3) He says something completely opposite: Tells MC that he doubts MC’s ability to assess Leo’s character

(4) Inserts a practical explanation: That MC shouldn't be naive

[ Notable Moment 5 - Night Meeting ]

Something worth mentioning is that Dance Date and Airplane Date were dates occurring before they officially became a couple. Does anything change after they’ve been together for a while? 

MC: Are the editing skills of these business elites too good, or are they really this handsome?

A sudden drizzle descends from the gloomy sky.

Victor taps on the steering wheel indifferently, his ring finger clicking the windshield wiper.

Victor: There isn’t a discrepancy between the actual people and the photographs.

MC: So they truly… have their merits.

Probably because my awe sounded too genuine, Victor’s eyelid twitches slightly.

Victor: You could look for them yourself to get their contact details. The reason why LFG is holding this competition is to allow for interaction among elite businessmen from different industries, and to expand their network.

MC: …yes yes yes.

-

The pattern still THRIVES:

(1) Victor feels jealous

(2) The first thought in his mind: He doesn’t want her to contact the other businessmen

(3) He goes off in the complete opposite direction: Tells MC she can do whatever she wants

(4) Gives her a practical explanation: That the competition is meant for networking, not for swooning over their looks

[ CONCLUSION ]

Victor is both king of the jungle and tsunderes

[beeexx]

A little Tarlos moment fron 2x09

Read on ao3

TK’s headache has moved further down from his forehead, to settle like a blanket of pain wrapped over his eyes instead. It makes sitting in the uncomfortable hospital chair all the more worse, the bright light doing nothing other than adding to his growing discomfort and slight nausea. He is tapping his leg, the sound bouncing off the quiet sleepy room, and he thinks that the only reason Marjan hasn’t whacked him to make it stop is because she’s still pitying him over his brief spell in a room similar to the one Judd is in for a concussion that still hasn’t completely gone away. He moves his head between his legs, closes his eyes to try and drown out some of the blinding lights and breathes through his nose. 

He keeps bouncing his leg though.

TK hates hospitals. He has many reasons for disliking them but he’s never had to spend a night on the edge of his seat, worried sick for people he cares about before, not in this capacity at least and it’s making him feel sick.

The worst thoughts rush through to the surface unbidden. What if he never gets to see either one of them again, hear them laugh, joke around with Judd, dinner at their place every other Sunday. What if Judd doesn’t make it? What if Grace dies? What if -

“Hi, you okay?” It’s Carlos of course, back from his coffee run, who gently places a hand on his shoulder. TK tenses for a moment, caught off guard and suddenly ready to bolt right out of his seat. He can’t fully tamper down his reaction and Carlos notices of course. TK thinks he’s probably frowning and it doesn’t take long for Carlos to start to shuffle around until he’s sitting on the ground in front of TK, coffee cup left forgotten on the chair. TK opens his mouth-

“Don’t tell me you’re fine, it’s very obvious that you aren’t.” Carlos chastises making TK look up from the ground he’s been staring holes at. His lip twitches though and he nods.

“Yeah, I won’t.” He promises and it makes Carlos’ worry lines less prominent for a moment. His hair is still a little sleep tussled, a few strands of curls at the back Carlos spends ages on each morning to lie flat are now loose and he looks tired, he is probably as tired as TK feels. 

It’s been just a few days since the kidnapping and TK’s gotten used to having a particularly sort of nasty headache as his daily companion since then, ruining both his days and nights with spells of pain that won’t go away. Well, it’s probably ruined Carlos’ nights too, judging by the growing circles underneath his eyes, and TK’s constant tossing and turning every time they’re in bed. It’s been a few days of bad sleep and lounging around the house with Carlos worrying. It makes TK feel really bad, he hates it when Carlos worries about him. 

Both he and Carlos had however gotten their best night’s sleep in days when the call came through, waking them both and sending TK into a near panic attack when he heard what had happened. He’s strung so ridiculously tight he’s scared he’s going to snap in half and he goes back to bouncing his leg, trying to distract from his discomfort, averting his eyes.

“Hey, no shutting me out.” Carlos gently cups his chin and forces him to meet his eyes, thumb stroking up and down in comforting motions, eyes kind and understanding. TK sighs but he nods.

“Sorry.” His voice cracks and he clears his throat, trying to get the lingering thickness away. He looks away for a moment, sees Mateo is asleep with his head resting on Paul’s shoulder while Paul is reading, frowning slightly as his eyes move across the text, flipping pages now and then. Marjan left with Tommy a while back to go do something TK isn’t sure of exactly and he hasn’t seen his dad for a while either. They are all somewhere near of course, lurking, in case something changes.

“I’m scared.” TK keeps his voice down though, just in case. Carlos nods and moves his hands to cover TK’s thighs, pressing gently down on his right leg to stop the movement. It’s an involuntary reaction on TK’s end that he stops, the effect of Carlos’ touch on him, anchoring, calming him down almost immediately. Carlos gently squeezes his knee.

“I know baby, I am too. But the doctors are optimistic and we have to believe them.”

“They are cautiously optimistic and I don’t know what that means in doctor lingo but cautiously sounds like it’s not something to celebrate yet.” He mutters. 

“Maybe not, but it’s not cause for sitting here looking close to fainting either. I don’t think Judd would like it if you ended up in a hospital bed yet again after getting out of one so soon.”

“I would do it if it would make him wake up and bust my balls.” 

Carlos' mouth twitches.

“He’s going to wake up.” Carlos says with such conviction TK believes him.

“But what about Grace?” He whispers, dread filling his stomach. Grace with her kind eyes, easy smiles, never ending patience and generous support TK’s not realised he’s cherished this much until she’s suddenly been hurt, with the outlook not seeming good. He is scared, terrified even that she might not make it. He doesn’t know what it would do to Judd if that was to happen. Carlos grows serious and his eyes travel to the room she is in, sadness passing over his features. With Michelle gone a lot Carlos and Grace had formed an easy friendship to fill up that empty space, and so it wasn’t totally unusual that when TK came home after shifts to find Grace and Carlos out on the patio together, drinking lemonade and chatting away, smiles wide and whatever task they had said they would do, long forgotten. It’s not just TK it pains to see Judd and Grace hurt, it pains Carlos just as much and TK immediately reaches forward, cupping Carlos’ cheek and leaning his forehead on his, offering his comfort up like it’s second nature. They both exhale, breathing through it together. 

“It’s going to be okay, it has to.” Carlos says quietly and gives himself over to the worry for a moment before he pulls himself together, pushing the worry down. TK knows compartmentalising like Carlos can do is something that isn’t always the healtihest of coping mechanisms. Right now though, TK isn’t going to say anything, god knows he has a terrible track record of bad ways to deal with things, and he wishes at this moment that he could do it too, push it down and focus on something else. 

“The doctors say Judd is going to wake up but it will be a few hours until then, so we’re going to have to believe that everything is going to be okay. In the meantime why don’t we go home and shower and change clothes.” He suggests.

“Not to sleep?”

“I’m not aiming that high today, I don’t think either of us will be able to do that. But you don’t look too good right now and it’s worrying me a little, so instead of checking you into this hospital myself I suggest we go back to mine and recharge for a moment and come back with food for everyone. I’m sure they’ll all need it.”

It’s a distraction, probably as much for Carlos as it is for TK, but it’s a distraction born out of kindness and a big heart, the need to do something other than sit here and worry sick. Carlos, TK has learnt during this year, is the kind of person that needs to do something, he’ll feel absolutely useless sitting still. His brain works best when he’s doing things while TK tends to be the other way around, shutting down, unable to do anything other than freezing, standing still in his growing anxiety, until everything boils over and the urge to either get high or do something almost as equally stupid gets too much and he can’t stop it, sending him down bad paths. 

So he takes the opportunity and nods. Carlos gets to his feet and holds his hand out for him. TK takes it and gently and carefully Carlos pulls him to his feet and wraps an arm around him immediately. For a moment TK snuggles close, nosing at Carlos’ neck before he moves his head away, focusing on walking instead.

“How’s your head?”

“Sore.” He admits out loud and Carlos frowns. “It’s feeling more like a migrain though so maybe it’s just stress?”

“Maybe, do you want an ice pack?” TK thinks of saying no but he isn’t looking forward to getting into the car with the raging monster banging against his eyelids so he nods. Carlos gently kisses his forehead, squeezes his hand before he walks away, leaving TK alone in the mostly deserted hallway, with his thoughts again. 

Being a firefighter has made TK somewhat immune to certain high risk situations, gruesome injuries, fright so visceral people become unpredictable, or shock so silent it feels it lasts for days unable to break free of, and death too, to some extent at least. His dad’s cancer, which had been a suffocating presence, expanding each day inside of TK’s ribcage, making it impossible to focus on anything other than it, giving him little room to exist outside of the anxiety and constant worry. Tim more recently, which had been quick and taking the breath out of him, slamming straight into TK like a block of concrete, catching him unaware. 

His own overdose is a reminder that it takes different shapes.

And then this. Relentless, big, sudden. Impossible to escape. Scary.

They all wear their worry on their faces and clinging desperately to hope that feels like it’s dimming with each moment he stands here. 

He twists the string of Carlos’ APD hoodie, the first thing he had gotten his hands on when they were rushing to get here in the middle of the night. It was a few hours ago now and there hasn’t been an update for a while now, other than that they can only wait which anyone knowing him should be aware he’s terrible at. 

Carlos comes back shortly after, holding the promised ice pack, TK looks behind him at a nurse with red cheeks and a bright smile as she watches them. 

“Carlos Reyes did you flirt with a nurse to get me this?” But he accepts it gratefully and presses it to his face, exhaling in relief at the cold seeping onto his clammy skin. 

“I charmed her more likely, by talking about my very cute but bratty boyfriend.”

“Yeah I’ve changed my mind, I don’t care how you got it, I’m just happy that you did.” Carlos snorts and ruffles his hair. 

They drive back and Carlos helps TK up the stairs before he disposes of him gently onto the bed. When he goes to leave, TK tugs him back, holding tightly onto his hand.

“Where are you going?” He sounds small, he feels small right now.

“Just to get some water, I’ll be right back -” But TK shakes his head, moves the pack of ice away and pulls harder on Carlos’ hand until he gets the hint and climbs into the bed. TK pulls him close, arms wounding around his neck and tucks his face into Carlos’ neck. Carlos' hands come to rest on his waist, big and strong, secure around TK. He feels the heath of them through the shirt he is wearing. He can feel Carlos’ heartbeat against his ribcage too, riverbating through him.

Still here. Still alive. 

TK is used to danger. 

But he isn’t used to this kind of danger, when it feels deeply personal, like an attack. 

And it’s all so sudden, after Carlos’s suspension that has luckily been lifted but had given him enough stress and worry making TK wish he could march into Carlos’ precinct and yell at his boss that one of their best officers deserved better. It comes too soon after he was taken hostage and hurt, the wound hasn’t even begun to heal and it’s been roughly torn open again making TK feel so goddamn unsteady, the fear he’s suddenly been slammed with so tangible as it presses down on him from all sides. He feels he’s been edging closer and closer to a panic attack all night and the only thing that hasn’t sent him completely over the edge is having Carlos near. 

But he’s also so goddamn scared suddenly. He’s suddenly terrified of losing Carlos. A car accident, those happen so often and maybe TK’s been naive but this has never felt like such a palpable threat to him before, until now. Until Judd and until Grace. 

“Talk to me?” Carlos whispers, forcing TK out of his thoughts for a moment and TK hugs him closer, biting down the tears that have come unwillingly. 

“You can never leave me.” The words come pouring out of him and his voice breaks, unable to be kept steady. He bites down hard on his lip but an audibly sniff escapes and when Carlos tries to move his head away TK hugs him tighter, not wanting any space left between them.

Carlos is quiet for a moment, but no longer than that. He takes his hands away from TK’s waist and wraps them gently around TK’s wrists to gently tug them away from his neck so he can look at him. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks and takes TK’s hands in his, holding them delicately, stroking his thumbs soothingly across TK’s skin. TK angles them slightly against Carlos’ chest, closer to his ribcage, where he can feel the thumping of Carlos’ heart underneath his shirt. It comforts him, the only steady rhythm to latch onto at the moment, to try and steady his own breathing, copying the unwavering rise and fall of Carlos’ chest. 

“I don’t know…” TK whispers, unable to meet Carlos’ eyes. He focuses on his and Carlos’ tangled hands, trails the blue veins with his eyes, Carlos’ slender and long fingers, trying to find the right words, while also buying some time. 

“No?” Carlos gently pushes and TK shakes his head. “TK.” Carlos sighs before he cups TK’s cheek and angles it up so he can meet his eyes. TK blinks a few times to clear his watery eyes and Carlos wipes a stray tear away with his thumb, expression stricken, like it gets when he wants so badly to help but doesn’t know what to do. 

“When I was taken hostage…” He begins, clears his throat a few times, can’t bear watching Carlos upset. “I didn’t really stop to consider how awful it was for you during those hours, and I haven’t been able to grasp the intent completely behind your worrying these few days and now it makes me feel like such an ass. But I understand it now too, what happened to Judd and Grace, it could happen to us too and it’s so scary, so scary Carlos, what if -” He stops, gulps down more tears and bites his wobbling lip hard. 

“Hey, hey.” Carlos says gently and TK’s eyes snap to him. They are sad, but determined too. “It could, but even so I will always promise to fight to get back to you.”

“I wish you could promise me you won’t leave me or that I could promise that nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“Well knowing you, letting you out of my sight has proven to be a massive mistake, I swear you’re the most accident prone person I know.” TK wetly chuckles and Carlos’ mouth twitches, the joke easing the tension between them.

“I get scared too, all the time…” Carlos confesses and TK searches his face, reaches out automatically to smooth over the worryline on his forehead, itching to kiss it away.

“Yeah?” TK asks. Carlos nods.

“Yeah, all the time. Especially where you are concerned. But I do think it’s only normal with our jobs and so on. Just… I don’t know, try and be more careful?” The frown grows into a wry little smile and maybe if TK wasn’t so shook from earlier he would have joked it away, but he nods seriously instead.

“I promise. I will always come back, always. Even if I leave.” It’s a painful reminder of TK walking out on Carlos a few months back, still making TK feel ashamed of how he acted. But things are different between them now and walking away from Carlos and from everything they have built together and are going to continue building, that is not an option anymore. “Good.” Carlos whispers and kisses his nose making TK smile. “I will always come back too. Always. I will fight every day to make that promise true.”

“Me too.” TK promises, takes their intertwined hands and kisses the promise into their hands, hoping that the day will never come where he doubts it, doubts them and their future. 

“We’re going to be okay.” Carlos promises and TK closes his eyes and rests his forehead on Carlos’, slowly starting to accept it. 

“Yeah.” TK whispers. 

“And so is Judd and Grace.” 

TK isn’t fully there yet where he dares believe it to be true, but he isn’t giving up hope that it’s all lost either. 

“So, how about a shower?” 

TK opens his eyes, yawns before he stretches, pops his back and nods.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

Carlos helps him to his feet and in the bathroom they undress each other before they get in together. TK hums in content as the hot water washes over him and with it the last doubts he has about the future, down the drain where it belongs. As soon as Carlos joins him inside TK walks close, presses his body to Carlos’. It’s not sexual, but it’s a need, to have him near, to let the calmness of Carlos’ wash over him and bring with it a comfort only Carlos can bring out in him and judging by the harsh breath escaping Carlos’ he craves the contact almost as much as TK does. TK presses a soft kiss to Carlos’ heart and it grows comfortable between them. That’s until Carlos decides to squirt shampoo loudly on top of TK’s head, breaking them out of the moment. TK’s glare turns into a laugh and Carlos’s eyes sparkle, so very much alive and TK’s insides flutter.

They shower for longer than what they had planned and when they do make it back to the hospital, carrying food from a place Carlos knows to be one of Grace’s favourite takeaways he feels better, more hopeful and willing to believe that things will work out. Carlos’ hair is messy from TK running his fingers through it, but his arm is secure around TK’s waist and TK’s leaning on his shoulder, watching their family help unpack the bags.

And then Judd wakes up.

[hanazou]

idk if the chuuya request was me but i think it was lmao- anyway the ask was a request for chuuya on an s/o who plays bass guitar i hope thats not too random ty xx

dating chuuya as a bass guitarist.

having chuuya as your boyfriend while playing a bass guitar will be as appealing as playing the bass.

Word count : 1K

Shelf : Hardback

Genre : Romance

Note : Don’t sweat it, anon! I like doing headcanons of character x musician!reader because i’m a musician myself (Thank God I finished this quick because when I found out Chuuya called Oda a "third-rate" in Dead Apple i was too angry at this man to write about him LOL) Anon, let me know your thoughts about this! Don't hesitate to tell me if there are any inaccuracies!

Enjoy your book! 💛

Charisma. A special charisma is the first thing Chuuya sees in you.

Chuuya's style (aesthetic wise) is a combination of subtle rock, street wear, a little bit of chic, with good colour combinations, and your skill playing bass guitar fit the picture if you get what I'm talking about. You and Chuuya correspond each other's vibes perfectly.

So if you play the bass guitar or any similar instruments, he’ll find it pretty attractive of you.

Chuuya admires your fluency and attention to detail, the way you seem to know every inch of your beloved instrument. He loves to see the way your fingers pluck the strings while the other hand moves from fret to fret—how do you even reach that far? He wonders how you know which cord one to press when they seem all the same to him.

Sometimes Chuuya gets inside your practice room without you noticing because you're so focused on playing. Next thing you know when you're finished, he has been sitting next to you, his chin propped on his hand, elbow on his crossed leg.

"So focused that you didn't hear me come in, huh?" He teases with his signature crooked smirk. "Picking that bass over me?"

Will definitely use his ability to levitate your bass guitar sometimes just to watch you get on top of tables or chairs to reach for it.

If there's a song he likes, sometimes he'll ask you to play it on your bass if the genre fits.

10/10 will remind you to take a break once in a while, like giving you water or takeout food. Also 10/10 will softly karate chop your head, surprising you, and show you he has food for you to eat.

"Do you want to faint from exhaustion?" He nags. "I got this for us to eat—" The food jiggles from hanging from his hand. You can smell it, it's your favourite dish. "—so take a break first, dummy."

If Chuuya knows you're busy preparing for a performance soon while he's busy himself, he'll find a way to attend to you regardless of his schedule, like asking a subordinate to deliver you lunch (paid by him, of course). He'll ask the restaurant to write a little "Remember to eat" note on top of the packaging.

If you're the type of bassist to wear gloves to make your notes brighter and "more staccato", gosh Chuuya will find that so hot. The way the gloves stand out against the bass and your skin? Perfection. Plus, you get to match his own gloves too (bonus points if your gloves are also black).

If you’re the type of bassist to use picks for plucking, Chuuya is going to take advantage of that. Sometimes, just when he wants to be pampered by you, he’ll hide your pick in his pocket and watch you look everywhere for it. He promises to help you find it after you let him sleep on your lap just because he’s quite tired that day. You have no reason to refuse, so after he’s had his time with you, he’ll take out the pick from his pocket with that so damn sexy half-smile.

Chuuya isn’t completely blind to music, so he’ll drop some comments sometimes--feedback if necessary, and most of them are casual compliments on different aspects of your play like “Oh, I like that riff, it sounded nice” and “Did you improvise that part? It suits the song”.

He loves to watch you set up your bass guitar; expanding and plugging the cables, preparing the speaker, testing the volume and the speaker buttons, tuning the strings, and especially when you pluck the strings to test it. He finds your familiarity with your instrument so pretty, he’ll throw random compliments while watching you prepare sometimes.

We know how good Chuuya's voice range is, especially when he shouts during combats. You'll be secretly intrigued to know how his voice will go with your bass guitar, and the question is how you will ask him to try singing to your music. If you really want to have him as your vocalist, even just once, you have to take out all of your cards to convince him. Puppy eyes, bribes gifts, tricking him by asking him to hum to some songs, anything, because it’s going to be one hell of a challenge.

((Assuming, I repeat, assuming you get Chuuya to sing by melting his heart with your antics, even just once, he will be such a blushing mess. He’ll probably accidentally use his ability and make a fracture on the floor. Please pat his back and tell him he did well. Please cherish and compliment this man I beg of you he’s a sucker for praises))

If you perform concerts, Chuuya will try his best to manage his schedule as an executive so he can attend, as a VIP guest too at that. I urge you to wear an accessory or a piece of clothing he once gifted you to earn a better reaction out of him, like him blinking and smirking with pride.

If Chuuya makes it, you'll spot him right away. His good fashion sense and that handsome face makes him stick out like a sore thumb anywhere. You'll be instantly more fired up in your performance, knowing Chuuya is watching you play the piece you've been practicing.

If there’s any idiot who dares to mock your performance, Chuuya will immediately square up with his iconic "Eh?!" and confront them right there and then, pulling their collars.

“Oi, you better watch your mouth,” He will growl. “cause you won’t be saying anything like that again after your mouth meets my fist.”

After your concert, Chuuya will see you at the backstage with a bouquet of flowers you didn't spot when he stood in the crowd.

"Uh, you did well." He tries hard to control his blush. "Here," He shoves the flowers in front your face. "Picked this up on the way here."

A classic move. He's so easily flustered, it's cute.

In the case if Chuuya is too preoccupied beating up people as a mafioso to attend your concert, he'll apologise with gifts; flowers (if you're not into flowers, he'll get you something else you like) and a bottle of rené rostaing because his love language is showering you with gifts, and maybe a romantic candlelit dinner at your favourite restaurant.

📜 ; like what you read? visit my bookshop!

[jayeray-hq]

The Great Christmas Bake-Off

This is my SFW secret Santa fic for @rice-hime​! You have no idea how excited I was to see that you were who I got for the SFW secret Santa, Rice! You were one of my very first requests, and I love all your writing! I know you’ve been having a bit of a tough time lately, so I hope this makes you smile! 

Want more Osamu? Check out my Character Masterlist!

Thanks to the amazing @deathcab4daddy​ for beta-reading for me! Love you Tay! 😊💖 Timeskip/Manga Spoilers! 8.6K words

Warnings: Brief mentions of depression but drowned in Fluff

You stared out the window quietly watching the snow fall, nursing a cup of your favorite hot beverage in your hands. It was Christmas Eve day, and for the first time since you’d started dating your boyfriend, you were home alone. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Osamu was supposed to be on his way back from a business meeting in Tokyo yesterday, but inclement weather meant he hadn’t been able to travel home safely.

When you’d taken his call earlier that morning he’d told you trains were delayed, and there was no word on whether or not they’d be up and running again any time soon. It didn’t help that it had yet to stop snowing. Your poor boyfriend had sounded extremely frustrated and put out with everything when you’d talked, and you’d done your best to assure him that everything would be fine. You’d told him that you’d wait for him, and that you much preferred he get home safe rather than rush and potentially get hurt because of the weather.

             You had also made sure to tell him you didn’t blame him for not being able to make it home, that you wouldn’t be angry even if he couldn’t get home until after Christmas. It wasn’t like he could control the weather after all, and the meeting in Tokyo had been incredibly important so it wouldn’t have been possible to cancel or delay it. After all it had been about finally getting approval to open up a branch of Onigiri Miya in Tokyo, expanding his business out of the Hyogo prefecture for the first time.

             Both of you had been excited at the possibility of expanding his dream restaurant, and you firmly believed that the chance had been worth potentially missing a single Christmas with him. However, despite your beliefs it didn’t stop you from missing him, from wishing rather desperately that he was there with you and not trapped in Tokyo.

             It was probably a bit strange, but you thought it might actually be harder to not have him today than it would be to not have him on Christmas. The two of you had created your own tradition for Christmas Eve, one that you couldn’t imagine doing without him.

             It had all started back during the first year the two of you had started dating. Osamu had claimed to have the recipe for the best sugar cookies ever. You’d decided to challenge him, not really understanding just how obsessed your new boyfriend was with eating, and creating the perfect foods.

             He’d brought his recipe, one he’d spent several years perfecting, and you’d brought one you found on the internet. The two of you had made both recipes together in the kitchen on Christmas Eve Day, the one day the two of you could find that neither of you had previous obligations for.

 Originally, you’d planned to make the cookies separately, each of you making your own, on your own time, but Osamu had insisted on doing the activity together. He’d convinced you that everything had to be done with the same quality of ingredients, the same oven, and in the same space in order for things to be equal. You’d conceded, figuring your new boyfriend was even more of a food nut than you’d initially assumed and finding it rather cute. It wouldn’t be until several years down the line that he’d admitted he’d only insisted so he could spend more time with you.

 After the cookies were baked, you then frosted and decorated them with the exact same frosting and tried both for comparison. In the end, you’d been forced to concede that his were much better than the ones from the recipe you’d found, but had sworn you’d find something better by the next year. Thus, your little tradition had been born.

 This year you had all the ingredients, bought well beforehand, all the equipment, and your own beautiful kitchen that you shared with your boyfriend. The recipe you’d picked out even had thousands of five-star reviews. The problem, of course, was that you didn’t have your boyfriend. Technically speaking, you could probably do it yourself. You’d made his version of the cookies with him enough times now you could do it in your sleep, but it wouldn’t be the same.

 Thus, you’d decided to wait until he came home. Was it a little disappointing not to be able to do it on the day you’d planned? Yes of course, but it couldn’t be helped. However, you’d rather do it on a different day than do it without your boyfriend. It was just one more thing that had gone wrong this year, which hadn’t been all that great considering everything that had happened.

 It was honestly wearing, and the blow of not having him there felt far heavier than it would under normal circumstances. Usually you’d be able to shrug it off with a smile and go about your day, but with everything else it felt like the straw that broke the camel’s back. You’d done your best to put on a cheerful, optimistic façade during your phone call with your boyfriend, not wanting to stress him out more than he already was.

 However, after that call you’d spent a good majority of your morning feeling out of sorts, listless, and unmotivated to do much of anything but watch the snow fall and hope it would let up soon. You wanted your boyfriend home, not just because you wanted to make cookies with him, but because Osamu gave the best hugs, and there was nothing you wanted more than to be wrapped up in his arms for a while.

 The sound of several loud knocks at the door startled you out of trying to quietly calculate how long it might take the snow to stop and when your boyfriend might be home. You hadn’t been expecting any guests today, but the sound of a scraping key in the lock let you know exactly who was at the door before it opened. After all, there was only one person who would knock like he was trying to break the door down and who you’d given a key, even if it had been a rather reluctant concession on your boyfriend’s part.

 “Well, ain’t this cheery,” a voice that was both exactly what you wanted to hear, and absolutely not at the same time, announced as your boyfriend’s twin brother breezed into the door. You shivered slightly at the cold wind he let in with his arrival, and turned to watch in bemusement as he stomped off the snow from his boots and began stripping off his outer layers, clearly making himself at home.

 “Atsumu,” you greeted, a little puzzled at the blond twin’s sudden unannounced arrival at your home, “What are you doing here? You know Samu is still in Tokyo, right?”

 “Is that really the way ya should be greetin’ yer future brother-in-law?” he asked teasingly, a wide grin on his face, “And o’ course I knew! Who do ya think was the first person that scrubby brother of mine called after he got off the phone with ya?”

 “Your mother probably,” you countered wryly, “Considering she was probably worried about him, and both of you are too afraid of her to not check in when she wants you to.”

 “Okay, so the second person,” Atsumu conceded without argument, making you smirk slightly. It always amused you that the twins were absolutely petrified of getting on their mother’s bad side. The Miya matriarch was a sweet, kindly woman, who absolutely doted on you, but according to the twins she was actually a dragon in disguise and downright terrifying in the same way Kita Shinsuke apparently was. You’d personally never witnessed this so-called terrifying side, but you had bowed to the twins’ experience.

 “So what, ‘Samu asked you to check on me?” you asked with a frown. You’d been fairly certain you’d managed to conceal your feelings from your boyfriend, but maybe you hadn’t done as good a job as you’d thought you had.

 “Actually, he sent me here ta be yer assistant fer the day,” Atsumu told you with a slight pout on his face, “Somethin’ about subbin’ in fer him and makin’ cookies.”

 “You realize you can’t actually sub out for one another in real life, right?” you asked him with a sigh. You were torn between annoyance that your boyfriend would think it was alright to substitute his twin in his place for your tradition, and touched that he wanted you to still be able to do it despite the fact that he wasn’t there.

 “Hey! I will have ya know that yer getting’ the superior twin fer the day!” Atsumu protested giving you a cocky smirk, “I even agreed ta put myself at yer disposal and everythin’!”

 “What did he bribe you with?” you asked skeptically, well aware the twins, despite being fond of each other deep down, never actually did anything for one another without at least some token bribery.

 “I can’t just come ta bake cookies with my brother’s lovely girlfriend outta the goodness of my heart?” Atsumu demanded, clearly affronted. You raised an eyebrow at him, and waited arms folded across your chest.

 “Okay so maybe there was a promise of some of those famous sugar cookies fer myself,” he conceded, with a huff.

 “Thought so,” you acknowledged with a triumphant smile, ignoring his indignant grumbles about Osamu dating a woman as scary as Kita and their mother.

 “Does that mean ya aren’t gonna make cookies with me?” Atsumu whined unhappily, “After I came all this way in the snow and everythin’ just ta help ya out?”

 “You literally live a block and a half away,” you protested with a laugh.

 “Doesn’t mean it wasn’t a cold, wet, and miserable block an a half,” he informed you with a pout, “C’mon please? I never get any cookies from the two of ya, ‘Samu always hogs em all!”

 You briefly considered saying no, wanting to uphold the sanctity of tradition. You’d meant what you’d said before, you couldn’t just replace one twin with the other. You loved Atsumu, but he wasn’t your boyfriend, more like a bratty little brother, ironic considering he was technically the older twin. However, even just his presence had been a fantastic distraction from how miserable you’d been before. Besides, Atsumu could be a lot of fun in his own way, and you could always make cookies with Osamu later.

 “Fine,” you conceded with a huff, “Let’s make cookies then.”

 “Alright!” He cheered his entire face lighting up with a boyish grin, the same grin your boyfriend wore whenever he got to cook something new. It was simultaneously comforting and a bit of a punch to the gut, though you chose to push aside the negative feeling and focus on the positive for now. Even if your boyfriend wasn’t here you still had a friend with you, one who was surprisingly sweet when he wanted to be, and you were grateful for it.

 Baking with Atsumu turned out to be absolutely nothing like baking with Osamu. With your boyfriend, the two of you had it down to an art, working with and around one another easily. You trusted one another in the kitchen and were very used to one another’s presence and it showed. Atsumu on the other hand, was a bit of a disaster.

 For all that the man was absolutely graceful on the volleyball court, it turned out he was a bit of a disaster in the kitchen. He did admittedly know what he was doing, he just wasn’t as careful as he should be. It meant eggshells accidentally got in the batter and had to be fished out, baking soda and baking powder got confused, the vanilla got knocked over, and flour exploded everywhere when he turned on the mixer, covering the two of you and leaving white residue everywhere.

 It took twice as long as it usually did because you spent over half your time babysitting Atsumu to ensure he didn’t screw anything up too badly. By the end of it all you, Atsumu and the kitchen were a mess, but you were smiling. The presence of your boyfriend’s twin having cheered you immensely, mostly because despite how cool they tried to act, both Miya twins were idiots, lovable idiots, but idiots nonetheless.

 You were so caught up in Atsumu’s antics that you didn’t notice you’d been joined by someone new, not until an extremely annoyed voice piped up, “Oy, ya scrub! What the hell did ya do ta my kitchen and my girl huh?”

 You whirled around surprised to see your boyfriend standing in the entryway, flecks of snow still clinging to his hair and eyelashes as he glared at his twin. Your heart jumped in your chest, a mixture of disbelief and joy swirling inside of you at the sight of him, home where he should be when you’d been afraid he wouldn’t be able to make it at all.

 “Ya told me to distract her so I distracted her,” Atsumu protested, “And yer the scrubby one ya scrub! I ain’t the one who got stuck in Tokyo after all!”

 “’Samu!” you practically barreled into your boyfriend, throwing yourself at him without even bothering to take off your dirty apron. Not that he seemed to mind at all, catching you up in his arms and cradling you to his chest without complaint, nuzzling his face into your hair.

 “Hey sweetheart,” he greeted, pressing an affectionate kiss to the side of your head, both of you ignoring the gagging sounds Atsumu was making in the background.

 “What are you doing here?” you asked a bit tearfully, “I thought you weren’t going to make it home?”

 “And miss Christmas with you, sweets? Not a chance,” he assured you, pulling back a bit so he could cradle your face in one of his large hands, swiping his thumb affectionately along your cheekbone.

 “But I thought the trains weren’t running?” you pointed out anxiously.

 “They’re not. I rented a car and drove,” he admitted with a casual shrug, as if he hadn’t admitted to making a six-hour drive in terrible conditions.

 “’Samu that’s dangerous,” you protested. Your eyes automatically roving over him to assure yourself he was there and in one piece, as your hands clutched at him a reminder that he was solid, warm, and present, “I could’ve waited for you. I would’ve waited for you.”

 “I was real careful sweetheart,” he assured you earnestly, “Drove slow and everythin’ plus the highways weren’t so bad, promise. I just really wanted ta be home with ya fer Christmas, and I didn’t want ya to be frettin’ bout me, which is why I sent ‘Tsumu over to distract ya.”

 “Well, he did that at least,” you acknowledged with a huff, casting a glance at Atsumu who looked immeasurably pleased with himself.

 “And made a right mess of the kitchen while he was at it,” Osamu noted with clear disapproval on his face, as he gazed around the disaster zone.

 “Hey, I’ll have ya know we’re equally responsible fer the mess,” Atsumu informed him promptly shifting some of the blame your way, completely unashamed at the blatant lie, “Yer girl helped me out too.”

 The completely unimpressed look your boyfriend leveled at him let you know just how much he believed his brother. Which was, of course, not a bit. Osamu knew you were fairly tidy when the two of you worked together, so he knew who was at fault for the mess. Still, you were grateful that Atsumu had come over at all. It was sweet of him in his own way, so you decided you wouldn’t let him take the fall on his own, not this time anyway.

 “Don’t worry ‘Samu, Atsumu and I will clean it up,” you assured him, pressing a quick, sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth.

 Your boyfriend let out a long-suffering sigh in response, giving you a look that told you he knew exactly what you were doing. However, he must’ve been feeling pretty indulgent because he went along with it anyway, “Alright sweetheart, let me just put my things away and I’ll help the two of ya clean up.”

 “You don’t have to,” you insisted, reluctantly releasing him so he could move away, “Atsumu and I can handle it.”

 “Yeah ‘Samu, we don’t need ya,” Atsumu taunted, slinging an arm over your shoulder and pulling a face at his twin, “So buzz off, or I won’t share any of my cookies with ya!”

 “Pretty sure it’s my kitchen and my ingredients ya used to make those cookies,” Osamu pointed out, leveling a glare at his brother, clear annoyance written all over his face.

 “And I think I’m the one who made them, bought the ingredients, and it’s my kitchen too, which I believe makes them my cookies,” you informed the twins before they could really start squabbling, “And I won’t be sharing with either of you if you don’t behave. ‘Samu go put your things away and get settled in, and Atsumu we have a kitchen to clean.”

 The twins exchanged glances over your head, one of those looks that spoke volumes and sometimes made you wonder if they could read one another’s minds. However, in the end they conceded, Osamu ambling down the hall with his bags and Atsumu joining you to clean up the mess in the kitchen, though not before Osamu pressed an affectionate kiss to your cheek.

 Between the two of you it didn’t take too long to clean the kitchen up, and get everything looking pristine. It did slow down a bit when Osamu returned from your bedroom and began ‘supervising’ meaning heckling his brother and generally being a pain as he insisted things weren’t clean enough.

 By the time you finished, all the cookies were out of the oven and completely cooled, which meant it was time for frosting. Luckily this time things went much faster as Atsumu was firmly pushed out of the kitchen by Osamu, who insisted it was only right he take over since it was his tradition with you. Atsumu whined, but had eventually been appeased by you agreeing to let him lick the spoon.

 You laid out several bowls and split up your icing, quickly deciding to do red, yellow, green, and white for your colors to make it nice and simple. Or at least it should’ve been nice and easy, if not for Atsumu’s commentary.

 “Is that supposed to be red?” Atsumu asked, casually licking frosting off as he watched his brother add food coloring to the frosting, “Cuz I’m tellin’ ya it definitely looks pink from where I’m standin’.”

 A quick glance over your boyfriend’s shoulder proved that it was a little on the pink side, but getting a true red with frosting was extremely difficult without adding enough food coloring to stain your mouth. Though the comments didn’t stop there either.

 “Is that really a Christmas green? I’m thinkin’ it looks kinda pastel, don’tcha think ‘Samu?” he pressed eyeing the other bowl, “I hope ya don’t think I’m gonna be decoratin’ my cookies with such a weak lookin’ color.”

 “Who says yer getting’ to decorate any cookies at all, huh?” Osamu demanded flatly.

 “I did, cuz I helped make ‘em,” Atsumu informed him bluntly, “And I’m gonna do a much better job than you could even dream of.”

 “Oh, ya think so do ya?” Osamu asked, his eye twitching slightly in clear annoyance.

 “I know so,” Atsumu informed him smugly.

 “Then how about a bet?” your boyfriend proposed, with a challenging stare at his brother, “Whoever decorates the best cookie wins.”

 “What do I get when I win?” Atsumu demanded, as you watched them go back and forth feeling a bit like a spectator at a tennis match.

 “The cookies o’ course,” Osamu proposed evenly, staring his brother down.

 “No way! I was supposed to get ‘em anyway fer comin’ over here to help out, and I ain’t wagerin’ ‘em fer nothin’ in return,” Atsumu protested, vehemently.

 “Fine, the cookies an I’ll make ya bento fer a week,” Osamu countered, “But in return when I win, I get the cookies an’ you have ta deal with Ritsu Baa-chan at the annual holiday party.”

 You snorted at that, trying hard not to laugh at Atsumu’s terrified expression. Ritsu Baa-chan was their grandmother’s sister, their great aunt. She was honestly a rather sweet elderly woman, but she was also a bit blind and couldn’t tell the twins apart despite having different hair colors. She also liked to pinch cheeks a lot, and tended to go on long tangents about her youth.

 “That’s unless yer chicken?” your boyfriend taunted, well aware his brother would fall for it.

 “Fine, yer on, but she ain’t allowed to judge,” he compromised, the sudden finger in your face making you flinch in surprise. Honestly, you’d thought the twins had forgotten you were there for a moment, so the unexpected acknowledgment was a bit baffling.

 “Don’t point at her. It’s rude,” ‘Samu scolded, smacking Atsumu’s hand with the back of the frosting covered spoon he’d been using to mix, making the blond yelp in surprise and indignation, “And who’s gonna judge if not her eh? Don’t tell me yer tryin’ to say somethin’s wrong with my girlfriend.”

 “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with her!” Atsumu conceded immediately, shooting you an apologetic look. For all the twins argued, he’d always been extremely courteous to you outside a bit of teasing, so you weren’t at all hurt, “But she still can’t judge, she’ll just pick ya and won’t give me a fair chance cuz yer her boyfriend!”

 “So, who’s gonna judge then?” your boyfriend asked skeptically, “Everyone we know likes me better.”

 “That ain’t true!” Atsumu pouted at him, as he absently licked the frosting off the back of his hand, earning a disgusted look from his twin, “Everyone knows I’m the superior twin!”

 You watched them squabble for a minute as you considered their little conundrum. Osamu had told you back in high school he’d been known as the ‘nice twin’ of the two of them. It was actually a little hilarious to you, as the longer you’d spent around your boyfriend, getting to know both him and Atsumu by extension, the more you realized he wasn’t actually nicer. He just hid it better.

 According to Aran, your one trustworthy source on what the twins had been like in high school, things had gotten better as the twins matured, Atsumu becoming a little less uptight, and Osamu a little more open. When you’d met Osamu in college and then Atsumu shortly after, you wouldn’t have pegged either of them as nice or better necessarily, until you’d gotten to know them. Osamu was simply a bit more laidback than his twin, sarcastic, and witty. He was a bit more conscious of the people around him, and their opinions. He was also quieter and less prone to emotional outbursts. It made him come off a bit more thoughtful and mature, though he definitely still had his moments. He was meticulous and incredibly sweet when he wanted to be.

 Atsumu on the other hand, was a ball of energy- impulsive but fun. If he loved something he loved it wholeheartedly, and if he hated something he hated it just as ardently. He definitely came off as less mature, and a bit more naïve in some ways as well, which was why you’d never been able to see him as anything more than a good friend or younger brother figure despite being head over heels for his twin.

 You wouldn’t call the two of them opposites per se, but you would say to those who knew them knew that the twins were very different. It meant that despite them sharing a lot of the same friends, most of those friends had a ‘favorite’ of the twins, one whose company they preferred even if they liked both of them. It made having someone neutral to be the judge of the outcome of the little bets they liked to make with each other a bit of an interesting conundrum.

 The only two friends you could think of off the top of your head who both twins would agree on as neutral were Aran and Kita. However, you weren’t about to let the twins pester their friends on Christmas Eve. Luckily, there was one person who was guaranteed neutral that not even the twins would argue against, and who wouldn’t mind having you call, would in fact probably enjoy it a lot.

 “Why don’t we ask your mom to judge then?” you cut in, breaking off their little tiff, “We should call her tonight anyway, to wish her happy holidays. You let her know you got home safely didn’t you ‘Samu?”

 “Course I did,” your boyfriend agreed looking a bit horrified that you’d think he wouldn’t, “I ain’t a scrub like ‘Tsumu.”

 “A guy forgets to text one time,” Atsumu whined, looking more than a bit traumatized at the mere mention of the wrath he’d apparently brought down on his head for forgetting.

 “Then we’ll have her judge,” you told them, ending the argument you knew could last hours if you didn’t intervene, “It will be nice to talk to her later anyway.”

 The twins exchanged another of their speaking looks, but in the end agreed to do things your way. In order to be fair, you split up the cookies and frosting as evenly as you could between the three of you, and set to work.

 Honestly, you probably should’ve known it would be a disaster. The twins had always been competitive, and liked to do anything they could to win, which apparently meant sabotage. It had started off innocently enough, and you were fairly sure it was an accident. Atsumu’s elbow had knocked into an open bottle of red sugar sprinkles and tipped the whole thing on to one of Osamu’s cookies.

 Your boyfriend had been outraged of course, and immediately tried to retaliate by smearing red frosting on to Atsumu’s green Christmas tree. It had only escalated from there, as sprinkles and frosting flew, Osamu’s usual concern for his kitchen flying out the window in the face of competition with his brother.

 Luckily, you’d had the foresight to put yourself outside the disaster zone, well aware there was nothing that brought out immaturity from your boyfriend quite like Atsumu. Therefore, instead of stressing, you got to watch, thoroughly entertained from the side lines. Taking a leaf from Suna’s book, you recording some of it on your phone, fully prepared to share it later.

 You couldn’t help the quiet giggles that escaped your lips as you watched their antics, giggles that devolved into side splitting laughter as Osamu, fed up with having sprinkles flicked at him by Atsumu, dipped his hand into the frosting and smeared it all over his brother’s face.

 Both twins froze at the sound, your boyfriend giving you a soft fond look, the kind he reserved just for you. He quickly abandoned his cookies to come over to where you were sitting so he could wrap his arms around you.

 “Samu you’re getting frosting all over me,” you protested with a laugh even as you hugged him in return, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck.

 “Ya know ya love it, sweetheart,” Osamu teased affectionately, “Besides weren’t ya the one who got flour all over me earlier?”

 You hummed in agreement, sighing contentedly in his arms. You probably could’ve stayed there for a good while longer, except you were interrupted by a very pointed throat clearing.

 “I’m still here ya know,” Atsumu pointed out clearly disgruntled, “Can’t ya save yer gross coupley stuff until I don’t have to watch?”

 “Yer just jealous,” Osamu brushed him off, squeezing you affectionately and shooting his brother a look over your head, “Ya don’t have to watch ya know. Yer free to leave at any time.”

 “An’ leave ya alone to sabotage my cookies?” the blond demanded self-righteously, “What do ya think I’m an idiot or somethin’?”

 The look your boyfriend gave his brother for that question was really all the answer that was needed. You coughed, pressing your face into his neck to stifle your giggles at the extremely indignant look on Atsumu’s face.

 “I ain’t gonna sabotage yer cookies, ‘Tsumu,” Osamu informed his brother, resting his cheek on top of your head, “I don’t think they could get any uglier if I tried.”

 “An whose fault is that!” Atsumu protested, as easily riled as usual, “Besides it ain’t like yers are any better!”

 It was true both of their cookies were complete and utter disasters, a smear of frosting all blended together into an ugly brownish color with only hints of the previous green and red. Mounds of sprinkles were smeared in and thrown everywhere in a mish mash of colored sugar some on the cookies but a lot on the floor. They honestly barely looked edible, even though you were sure the taste was probably fine. They were, truthfully, some of the ugliest cookies you’d ever seen in your life.

 “Still better than yers,” Osamu countered stubbornly, “I’m still gonna win.”

 “Like hell ya are, mine are clearly superior!” Atsumu retorted.

 “We’ll leave that up to Miya-san to decide,” you cut in before they could really start bickering again, “In the meantime, why don’t we all get cleaned up.”

 You glanced pointedly at Atsumu’s face, still covered in flecks of frosting despite his attempts to wipe it clean, along with the globs on his shirt, and at Osamu’s hair, which was shedding sprinkles everywhere.

 Atsumu grimaced down at this shirt, pouting at the frosting that covered it, and promptly reached for the hem, clearly ready to strip it right off. He didn’t get very far, as Osamu promptly released you to smack at his twins hands.

 “The hell! Don’t just start strippin’ ya scrub!” your boyfriend protested.

 “Why not?” Atsumu protested genuinely baffled, “It ain’t like ya’ve never seen it before ‘Samu, we shared a room fer years.”

 “Do ya always just casually take yer shirt off in front of girls without warnin’?” Osamu asked aggrieved, “No wonder ya can’t get a girlfriend!”

 “Oy! I’ll have ya know the ladies love when I take my shirt off,” Atsumu informed him snottily.

 “Well my lady doesn’t,” Osamu informed him, gesturing to where you were sitting, watching the whole thing play out.

 “Why would she mind?” Atsumu pointed out snottily, “If she’s seen ya naked, she’s basically seen me too.”

 “Eww no,” you interjected, unable to resist, your face scrunching up in disgust, even as your boyfriend smacked his brother over the back of the head.

 “What do ya mean eww no?” Atsumu demanded clutching at his head and turning slightly watery eyes on you, glaring in offense, “We’re twins! We look the exact same!”

 “’Samu is sexy,” you explained with a shrug, unable to resist teasing him a little, “You’re just… you.”

 Atsumu squawked in indignation, clearly very offended, though your boyfriend just looked amused, winking at you from behind his brother’s back and adding, “That’s right, so keep yer damn shirt on ‘Tsumu, no one wants to see it.”

 “But it’s got brown gunk all over it,” he whined gesturing at the rather unfortunately colored frosting smeared down his front from where he’d wiped his face clean with it, “It looks like someone wiped their ass with it!”

 You choked at the realization that he was unfortunately correct, nearly falling off your chair as you were overtaken by laughter again. Really, the twins could start their own comedy show, you had the feeling they’d make a killing. It was no wonder Suna had managed to collect so much blackmail on them over the years, the two of them really made it too easy.

 “So, go home and change then stupid,” Osamu informed his brother flatly, though you could tell from the way his lips twitched that he also found it terribly amusing.

 “No way!” Atsumu griped, “If ya don’t want me shirtless in front of yer girlfriend then just let borrow a shirt ya jerk!”

 “Go get yer own,” your boyfriend countered, completely unimpressed, “No way in hell am I lendin’ ya one of mine again. I’ll never get it back.”

 “Yer so cruel ‘Samu, and here everyone still thinks yer the nice twin,” Atsumu informed his brother snottily, “Tryin’ to send me out into a storm like that!”

 Surprised you glanced at the window only to find Atsumu was right, the weather had gone from bad to worse. Enormous flakes of snow falling from the sky, coming down so hard you could barely see the blurred outline of the home across the street from yours. It looked like a genuine blizzard out there. It looked absolutely nasty, and even though he did live fairly close by you were hesitant to send Atsumu out in it.

 You glanced at your boyfriend, and he clearly saw the concern on your face because he heaved a sigh and nodded in acknowledgment.

 “Fine ‘Tsumu, but yer changin’ in the bathroom so ya don’t make a mess in our room, and ya ain’t leavin’ in it. Rinse yer shirt while yer in there and toss it in the wash,” Osamu ordered as he grabbed hold of his brother hauling him away down the hall, completely ignoring Atsumu’s protests at being manhandled.

 You smiled after them for a moment, amused. You knew without a doubt, no matter how much he griped about it, that Osamu would never have sent Atsumu home when the weather was like this. Which meant you should probably resign yourself to having a guest for the night. Not that you minded all that much.

 You’d known from the beginning that while they were separate people, the Miya twins came as a set. If you were going to be dating Osamu, Atsumu was going to be part of your life, that was a simple, inarguable fact. You were just glad you got along well with him, even if having the two of them together did end with your kitchen a complete and utter disaster area for the second time that day.

 Huffing a sigh, you finished up the last of your own cookies that you’d carefully kept out of the line of fire, covered them and hid them in one of the cupboards. You were well aware if you didn’t they were bound to get snitched by one of the twins. With your cookies safe, you surveyed the mess that was the kitchen and grabbed a cloth intent on getting things cleaned back up again while you had the chance.

 Your work was interrupted by the feel of strong arms wrapping around you from behind, pulling you upright and back into a solid chest. You immediately relaxed into the embrace tilting your head back against your boyfriend’s shoulder so you could see him.

 “Hi there,” you greeted affectionately, tossing the rag you’d been using to wipe things down on to the counter in favor of wrapping your arms over his, savoring the feeling of being held.

 “Hey sweetness,” he returned, pressing a soft kiss to your temple, “I missed ya.”

 “I missed you too,” you admitted quietly, “I’m so glad you made it home, even if you really should’ve stayed where it was safe.”

 “Like I’d let somethin’ as stupid as a snowstorm keep me away from my girl on Christmas Eve,” Osamu scoffed, “This is our day. I wasn’t gonna miss it fer anythin’ sweetheart.”

 You hummed in response, feeling immeasurably comforted by the feel of him wrapped around you, the loneliness and depression chased away completely by the afternoon’s laughter and the warm presence of your boyfriend.

 “How’d the meeting go?” you asked quietly as he rocked the two of you back and forth, the motion familiar and soothing. You’d learned early on he was completely unable to stay still for any length of time unless he was sleeping, a trait he shared with his twin.

 “It was good. The investors are all in, looks like we’re gonna get our new shop in Tokyo after all,” he told you, clear pride in his voice.

 “Our shop huh?” you asked teasingly, more than a bit touched that he said it so easily. Onigiri Miya was his dream after all, and the fact that he shared it so openly with you meant the world.

 “O’course sweetheart,” he told you, “I…!”

 Unfortunately, whatever he might’ve wanted to say after that was interrupted by the untimely arrival of his brother, who reappeared, dressed in a clean shirt, all traces of frosting removed from his person.

 “Oy! This place is still a disaster! I thought ya said ya were goin’ ta help her clean, ‘Samu?” he demanded, turning judging eyes on the kitchen.

 You sighed, partly annoyed and partly amused at the sheer audacity of the blond twin, as Osamu reluctantly untangled himself from you. The glare he sent his twin would’ve had lesser men cringing away, but Atsumu was unfortunately rather immune by this point.

 “Ya have no sense of timing at all do ya, ya scrub?” Osamu asked him rhetorically, heaving a put-upon sigh before smacking his brother over the back of the head in punishment and shoving a cloth in his hands, ordering to, “Help clean too, ya ungrateful jerk! Since half this mess is yers anyways.”

 Luckily, though they squabbled through the whole thing, they did manage to get things cleaned up, just in time for dinner. The snow was still coming down hard, so you quickly invited Atsumu to stay, though Osamu ordered him to stay out of the kitchen. He went, though you quickly sent Osamu after him, insisting that he’d had a long day of travel and didn’t need to cook tonight as you’d fully planned to cook for the two of you.

 Osamu gave you a soft look for that, one that got him thoroughly teased by Atsumu for being a sap. Your boyfriend pressed a quick, chaste kiss to your lips before joining his brother to stream the latest Black Jackals game on the tv, clearly fully intending to heckle his brother over any mistakes he made while you put together something for all three of you to eat.

 Dinner was lively and enjoyable as Osamu told the two of you more about the meeting in Tokyo. Apparently, the area they were looking to open the next restaurant was in a prime location, and construction would start after the new year once the property lease was signed. If things went well it would be open before summer, which was incredibly exciting.

 In turn, Atsumu shared some of what he’d been up to with the Jackals. He had a lot of funny stories to tell about the players you’d met briefly and heard lots of stories about from their high school days. His stories about Hinata Shouyou, Sakusa Kiyoomi, and Bokuto Koutarou in particular were always amusing, mostly because they were always teasing him in some way, never allowing him to get his way completely.

 The twins also asked you some about what you’d been up to, and you shared the things that you knew they’d find interesting, little anecdotes about your day, or small stories you knew would make them laugh. It was honestly heartwarming how both of them worked to include you in their dynamic, trying to ensure you never felt excluded, and you understood how very much it meant that they tried so hard for you.

 After dinner the three of you gathered together at the twins insistence to video call their mother. The kindly woman answered on the third ring, and immediately leveled a suspicious look at the twins.

 “What did the two of ya do now?” she asked clearly resigned to whatever antics the twins had gotten up to this point. You giggled, unable to help yourself at the identical expressions of offense on their faces.

 “Oh, hello darling!” their mother greeted you warmly, “How are ya doin’? Are these two rascals causin’ trouble fer ya?”

 “Hello Miya-san,” you returned just as warm, to the woman who’d gladly welcomed you into their family with open arms, nudging your face into the frame so you could see her better, “It’s good to see you!”

 “You too dear, and I told ya, no need for Miya-san, call me kaa-san okay? Yer my future daughter-in-law after all!” she told you jovially, making you flush slightly, pleased and a little flustered, glancing hesitantly at your boyfriend out of the corner of your eye. He didn’t look at all bothered by the insinuation, simply watching you with a fond look in his eyes.

 “Kaa-san then,” you agreed a little shyly, earning a beaming smile in return.

 “What can I do fer ya tonight darlin’?” she asked, both of you ignoring the way Atsumu was grumbling to his brother about how unfair it was that their mother loved you more than she loved them.

 “The twins are having a bit of a contest and we were hoping you’d be a neutral judge,” you told her with an amused grin.

 “Really?” she asked partly amused, partly resigned, “Again? Ya would’ve thought at their age they’d stop doin’ silly things like this, but I shoulda known. I really probably shoulda stopped ‘em the very first time they brought me the prettiest rocks they could find and asked which I liked better when they were toddlers. It was too cute at the time though, and I didn’t have the heart ta tell em to knock it off.”

 “That is cute,” you told her with a helpless little grin, giving your boyfriend, who was pointedly not looking at you, a fond look trying not to giggle at the slight pink tinge on his cheeks. He at least was doing better than Atsumu who was fire engine red and sputtering indignantly.

 “So, what did they do this time?” she prompted, looking all too amused at having managed to embarrass them both, the vicious twinkle in her eyes reminding you yet again where the two of them had gotten their mischievous side from.

 “Decorated Christmas cookies,” you told her wryly amused, “I’ve been volunteered to show them to you, so you don’t know whose is whose.”

 The two of you exchanged eye rolls at that, both completely done with how seriously the twins took their ridiculous contests. It was a little hilarious honestly while also being simultaneously endearing and annoying.

 “Let’s see it then,” she agreed, heaving a put-upon sigh.

             You did as asked, holding up the plate with the two cookies. The twins had each chosen the one they thought came out best from their lot, though that wasn’t saying much considering they all looked rather terrible. The look on her face let you know that their mother shared your thoughts on this as she deadpanned at the cookies, which were a complete and utter mess.

             “Is yer kitchen still intact?” she asked, her spot-on guess startling you into laughter as the twins both gave indignant shouts, Osamu insisting he would never destroy his own kitchen, and Atsumu indignant at being accused of destroying kitchens in general.

             “It was a bit of a mess for a while, but they cleaned it up for me,” you answered easily, completely ignoring the pout sent your way from Atsumu and the betrayal on the face of your boyfriend for outing them to their mom.

             “Well there’s that at least,” she conceded with a put-upon sigh, “Did ya save any of the cookies fer yerself darlin’.”

             You grinned at her and stood, retrieving your own nicely decorated cookies from where you’d hid them earlier to show them off to her, “I did kaa-san, these ones are for me, and for the holiday party in a couple days.”

             “Yer such a good girl,” she praised with a proud smile, “It’s no wonder yer my favorite child.”

             “Oy!” both twins protested, clearly indignant, though Osamu looked torn between indignation and pride. Still she completely ignored them with the ease of long practice.

             “I think it’s obvious who the winner is dears, hers are much better than either of yers,” their mother proclaimed, her word clearly final, making the twins sulk.

             “How did ya know somethin’ went wrong with ours anyway?” Atsumu whined, taking his own cookie from the plate and shoving it into his mouth rather mutinously.

             “I’m well aware neither of ya have much in the way of artistic skills,” their mother informed him with a put-upon sigh, “But that was bad even for the two of ya. Besides I’m yer kaa-san, it’s my job ta’ know.”

             You giggled at that, well aware that it was the truth. Osamu could make a very pretty plate of food when he wanted to, but only when he was copying someone else. He didn’t seem to have a single original bone in his body when it came to design or aesthetics even if some of the recipes he came up with were absolutely inspired. Atsumu also could pull off beautiful movements, and plays in volleyball that were enough to impress the most seasoned of professionals. However, you’d seen him attempt to color before and the man could barely keep within the lines. There was no doubt the twins were talented, but artistic they were most certainly not.

             With the cookie judgment out of the way, the rest of the conversation was nice and casual. The family was actually due to meet up in a few days, and you were looking forward to it. The Miyas had treated you like family from the very first time Osamu had brought you home, welcoming you with open arms, and you never failed to feel included and loved when they had their gatherings.

             It didn’t hurt that your boyfriend never failed to keep an arm around you the entire time. The affectionate gesture garnered only approval from his relatives, even as it reassured you of his presence at your side.

             By the time you’d finished up your conversation with the twins’ mother it was fairly late, and just as you’d expected the snow was still coming down rather heavily. Atsumu had made one, incredibly half-hearted attempt to leave, and Osamu one even less fervent attempt to push him out the door. Attempts that your fervent insistence he stay in the guest room, one that was basically his anyway, easily overrode.

             The three of you chatted for a while longer, but eventually the long day caught up with your boyfriend. Atsumu teased him a bit about going to bed early like an old man, but considering he was yawning just as badly at that point, he didn’t really have a leg to stand on. You’d ushered both of them off to bed, following Osamu into your shared bedroom. The two of you had your night time routine down pat by now, easily working around one another to get ready for bed.

             You’d just settled down on the side you’d claimed for yourself when you were gently tugged forward, your boyfriend pulling you into his arms. You went without a fuss, wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in his chest, breathing in his familiar comforting scent.

             “Thanks for today,” you told him, lifting your face so you could look him in the eye. You were more than a bit sleepy after all the activity from the day, but you really wanted to tell him this before you let yourself fall asleep, “For sending Atsumu to cheer me up, for distracting me and making me smile.”

             You were well aware that both twins had played up their antics a bit for you today. Yes, they bickered, but it had been a bit over the top even for them. It was only as you’d been talking to their mother that you realized how well they’d distracted you from the glum mood you’d been in, not just earlier that day but for a while now as things had begun to weigh on you. You’d thought you’d hidden it well, but apparently your boyfriend knew you too well for that and had gone out of his way to help cheer you up, even dragging his brother into it.

             “I’m the one who should be thankin’ you,” he pointed out gently brushing his fingers over your cheek, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear, “Fer puttin’ up with his whiney ass, especially since he destroyed our kitchen twice.”

             There was a tenderness in his face and voice that belayed his words as he casually brushed off your thanks, one that let you know he knew just how much it had meant to you, and that he was just pleased it had worked. He’d always said he didn’t need thanks for being there for you, for cheering you up when you were down, or holding you when you needed it, and it seemed he was determined to stand by those words.

             “He was sweet,” you protested a bit on his behalf, accepting the gentle redirection with grace and giggling a bit at the skeptical look he gave you for that assertion, “Besides it was partly your fault the kitchen got destroyed a second time.”

             “Keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna start ta think ya prefer him over me,” he grumbled at you a slight pout on his lips, one that you were quick to press a smacking kiss to, your over dramatics making him smile.

             “You know you’re my favorite Miya twin, ‘Samu,” you told him earnestly, gently brushing his dark hair back from his forehead and meeting his eyes, hoping he could see the honesty in your own, “Always and forever.”

             “If ya say it like that sweetheart, then I guess I’ve got no choice but ta believe ya,” he told you, a faint smile tugging his lips upwards, the soft look he reserved just for you on his face, “Cause always and fer ever is just exactly what I’m after with ya.”

             “Good,” you told him, nuzzling your nose against his, and smiling into the soft kiss he pressed to your willing mouth, “that’s all I want, for this Christmas and for every Christmas to come.”

             “Ya’ve got me sweetheart,” he assured you, his voice warm and filled with promise.

             “I love you, ‘Samu,” you murmured to him tiredly, unable to help the yawn that took you over. You were utterly exhausted.

             “I love ya too sweetness,” he affirmed fervently, gently tucking you into his chest and settling the two of you comfortably into the bed, “sleep well.”

             You hummed in agreement, unaware that as you fell asleep his eyes were locked on the bedside table, quietly contemplating the future and the small precious box he’d hidden in there earlier, where it would be safe from your prying eyes. He’d thought he’d had the perfect moment earlier when you’d asked why he’d called the new Tokyo branch ‘ours’ instead of his, but then ‘Tsumu had interrupted.

             That was alright though. He had time. Time to figure out just what he wanted to say, and time to ensure you really truly understood how much you meant to him. You’d said always and forever, and he intended to hold up his end of the bargain, for this Christmas and every Christmas to come.

[claraswritings]

I fell in love (with you) in stages - CH20- FINALE

Pairing: Steve Harrington x HendersonReader

Warnings: Series typical violence, language and spoilers for all seasons

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I have just been through a break up (my choice but still a hard choice) and it kind of put everything else on the back burner for a while.

**

Tags: @hannarudick @felicityofbakerstreet @sledgy14 @kiara-uwu @lookalivesunshine-x @loulouloueh @loco-latte @mikariell95 @queenofthehairharrington @lovelydaydreams15 @anonymousonion23 @mochminnie @prettysbliss

**

A few seconds later and the car collided with the side of Billy’s Camaro t-boning it and stopping it in its tracks before it reached the others. You felt yourself lurch forward then slide sideways into Steve.

The car came to a halt and Steve looked up, loosening his grip on the steering wheel

“You okay?” he asked, concerned turning to you almost immediately. He reached over to push your hair back. The worry over you was evident , the last thing he wanted was for you to be hurt due to his crazy idea.

“Never better,” you gave him a wry smile. “Are you?”

“Are you sure,” he asked again

“Steve.” you pressed. “I promise i’m fine, i’m just glad your idea worked, you are...amazing” You cupped his face with your hands and gave him a quick kiss.

The two of you sat for a second, catching your breath, before the smell of smoke coming from the Camaro, diverted your attention. Jonathan pulled up beside the now immobile Toddfather and gestured for you and Steve to get in. You didn’t even hesitate, scrambling in with your boyfriend following. He’d barely pulled the door shut before the creature leapt down with a roar and took off after the car, advancing after you.

**

You had barely taken your eyes off that...thing in hot pursuit of the vehicle. It was only the crackling of the radio made you jump and the sudden sound of an unfamiliar girls voice and your brothers perky tone told you it could only be one person.

“Wait. She’s real?” Steve turned to look at the radio too, clicking on at the same time. “Huh...gotta say I thought he was making her up,”

“I wish,” you rolled your eyes “He’s got some imagination but not enough to go on about her for as long as he did,”

If Steve thought hed had to listen to Dustin’s “Reasons why Suzie is great” monologue, he was in for a surprise. He had only heard the start of it. In the car journey back from the camp, you’d had hours of it. Not that you’d begrudge him, his first ever teenage romance. You were happy for your brother, after Max and Lucas had got together and Mike and El, you’d worried he’d be left behind.

Steve looked to be considering your reply “Eh yeah makes sense,” he shrugged. As a surprisingly melodic voice began floating through the radio. Steve wondered for a second if he was still drugged. It wasn’t until you spoke that he realised...nope, that really was Dustin singing.

“Is he singing? The song from Neverending Story?” your jaw was slack at the sheer madness of the situation. Being chased by some huge monster, in a car with your best friend who’d become your boyfriend in the past hour, his ex and your brother who had chosen now of all moments to start serenading his girlfriend over a radio.

“Is that one with the big white dog?”

“I think it’s supposed to be a dragon, Steve” you bit your lip, pointing out his mistake quietly. He was adorable when he was oblivious.

“Really” his brow knitted as Suzie began to join in with the singing. “They’re still going,”

“Are they going to do the whole song,” you remarked. “Don’t know if Dustins forgetting it’s kind of urgent” your face pulled into a grimace, and for a second your eyes flickered back to the monster.

Stomach churning, you looked away again, deep down, you feared the car would run out of fuel before you reached your destination and there was absolutely no way you’d outrun it on foot.

“Do you want me to sing to you” Steve offered casually. He sensed your discomfort and worry and even though he was freaking out himself, he hoped his lame attempt at humour would make you smile.

You snorted “Absoutely not...If you even try I’m throwing myself out of this car,”

“Even with that,” Steve gestured at the creature from the back window, pulling a face, as the love struck duo finished their song.

“I’ll take my chances,” you teased.. as Steve took his turn to scan out of the back window.

“Erm....” he poked you in the arm after a second “Why is it stopping, why is it turning around?” Before you could speculate, Steve leant forward tapping the others and sticking his head through to the drivers side to alert Jonathan.

“Guys that thing is turning around, It’s stopping, it must be going somewhere else,”

Jonathan eyed you both in the rear view before sighing, spinning the car, making a lurching U turn and following it back

“I can’t believe we’re actually going back, we must be dumb” You remarked under your breath

“Yeah i’ve been coming to that conclusion myself” he replied

“We should take Dustin to see her,” you commented as Jonathan began tailing the monster being careful to keep a reasonable distance from it. “We can make a road trip out of it, we’ll stock up on the nougat for Dustin and we can get a big bag of sours for us, we’ll get a motel along the way, obviously we’ll get a room to ourselves, i’ve got enough from working at the video store flat out, we can take your car, it’s nicer than mine and it’ll make Dustin look cool in front of Suzie. He’s probably told her all about you, y’know”

You were aware you were rambling but it was anything to take your mind of the idea that you might not have a tomorrow to think about as soon as you got to where that thing was going.

Steve nodded, he couldn’t quite say how much he liked the idea of getting a road trip with you, about how much he’d love to drop Dustin at Suzies for the day to let the young love birds catch up and for you and him to go out somewhere just the two of you, maybe even stay in a motel, order room service and make out. Instead he just leant over and gave you a kiss. In that moment he decided, If you were about to rush into probable death he wouldn’t let it happen without telling you.

He didn’t care anymore that Nancy or Jonathan could see if they glanced over their shoulder.

“I love you, I’ve been in love with you for ages” his tone was low, just enough for you to hear.

“I love you, Steve,” you kissed him again. The way you said it was different to how Nancy used to say it. You didn’t hesitate to return the sentiment, your eyes met his when you said it and you gave him a smile in spite of the beyond dangerous situation you were barrelling towards.

“We go together right,” you asked.

You didn’t need to ask. Steve knew.

“What? The road trip or certain death?” he quirked his eyebrows.

“Both,”

**

Lucas had briefed you all outside of Starcourt on his plan, and handed you all a fair amount of fireworks each. You’d break into sections; and surround the creature on the top, meaning El, Max and Mike wouldn’t be stuck fighting from the lower mall. His plan was basically “light, throw, grab another, throw again”.

Being completely to the point, you weren’t sure it would work but hell. It was the best you had.

Together you’d crept up the metal stairs of the fire exit, trying hard to stop your legs shaking. You could hear the low frequency roars of the monster from where you stood. It sounded like it was coming from all sides.

Once you made your way out of the door and on to the top level, there’d be no turning back.

You took a breath before resting your shaking hand on the door handle. The others had headed to the other entrances to the upper floor.

“Hey, we’ve got this” Steve who was only one step behind you, sensed your apprehension “Remember what you said. We stick together. You’ll have me with you the whole time, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you,”

You nodded and as you pushed open the door and crept to your positions, you could see the monster climb down through the wide open ceiling and advance towards El, who was trying to edge away from it as Billy watched expressionless.

Steve caught Lucas’ eye and nodded. The monster stilled, it’s mouth expanding.

“Okay [Name.]. Now” Lucas called over to you both, standing up and lobbing the firework directly into its side.

The creature let out a pained growl

“Flay this, you ugly piece of shit,” the younger boy called, his next firework hitting it directly in the mouth as it snapped around to the source.

“Nice aim” you called over

The mall lit up in a series of greens, yellows and reds as you broke away from taking turns throwing from different sides to bombarding from any direction.

“Erm guys,” Steve shouted over the crackling of the fireworks “We’re almost out over here,”

“I know” Will shouted back, his voice loud over the exploding “So are we!”

You threw one of your last large fireworks, and whipped around to Steve “It has to be now,” You told him, tossing your radio over before turning back to the dwindling pile. “I’ll keep throwing, call it in,”

Wasting no time, Steve forgone the call signs and scrambled for the radio “Dustin! We’re out of time!”

You could only vaguely hear your brothers reply. The crackling and banging from all ends plus the blood thumping in your ears was overwhelming everything.

Beneath you, you could see Billy had wrestled El to the ground and despite her struggling, hed gained the upper hand.

You fumbled back to the bag at the same time as Steve and you both reached inside, but your hands only found one firework left.

Shit.

His eyes met yours. “You or me,” he asked, a little breathless.

“You. You’ve got better aim” you rushed back, grabbing the lighter and lighting the fuse for Steve to lob the final firework.

From your glance over to Jonathan and Nancy you could see they had also ran out.

“What now?” you shouted, over the noise. The smoke trails of the fireworks were clearing and through the wisps and sparks, you could see Billy grapple with El as the monster inched forward.

“It’s not enough, we haven’t done enough,” you pressed your hands to your face. “Shit we need to do something,”

Steve glanced over at the floor below, he could see Billy stand up, as the creature let out a deafening roar.

“Come on come on come on, close the gate already” he muttered.

Billy’s arms shot out in an attempt to stop it, only to scream out in pain when it latched on to him.

“Fuck” you cursed. “What the hell is he doing? Should we help him?,” you turned to the others, your eyes wide. Jonathan looked pale white and Nancy shook her head

“I don’t think we can,” she bit her lip. “I don’t think we can do anymore,”

The monster took one last stab at Billy before dropping him, leaving him bleeding heavily on the floor of the mall. Max let out a loud scream that you could hear from your positions above even over all the chaos and you felt your heart break for her. Billy had never been the nicest brother to her but he was her brother nonetheless and he’d clearly sacrificed himself to save El. In spite of everything, he’d given himself up to save one of the kids.

Only a moment later and you heard an almighty screech and saw one of the many limbs flailing towards you, careening into the railing beside you.

“Get back” Steve turned towards you and pulled you back towards one of the walls and away from the edge, just in time.

With a groan and a thud that shook the whole mall, it fell to the ground with a weak snarl.

“Did...they? did they...” Steve couldn’t get the words out, as they fumbled over his lips unable to quite form a full sentence. One hand was still gripping the radio so hard you were surprised it hadn’t cracked, the other holding on to yours.

You could hear your brother and Erica on the other end but your ears were still ringing, and you could barely make out what they were saying.

You could only nod. “I think so”.

**

By the time, you were checked over, things had slowly started to set in, you’d been asked by about three men in uniform

what the hell had happened, and given the same version of events each time.

After that they’d given you a blanket and you’d joined Steve on the back of the ambulance, who wrapped in his own blanket had rested his head on your shoulder.

The two of you sat in silence, watching everyone mill around in the wreck that once was Starcourt. The skies had opened to rain for what felt like the first time in ages and you couldn’t help but turn your face up to the cool mist.

“I think I’m ready to go home,” you muttered to him, after a few moments. “We should get some sleep”

“Don’t. I... uh-,” Steve paused “I don’t want to be alone, not after all that,” he grimaced. “My dads out of town and...l”

“You won’t be alone, silly, you’ll be with me...and Dustin,” you reached for his hand in a small comforting gesture. “You didn’t think I’d leave you alone after all that, did you,”

Steve lifted his head off your shoulder and looked at you, taking in every detail of your face, the way the rain had plastered your tussled hair to your face, the wide eyed gaze focused on him, the curve of your nose and the tweak of your lips. You were without a doubt, in his mind, the best person he had ever known.

“What?” you eyebrows piqued.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he leant in pressing his forehead to yours.

Your heart broke a little at that. Your brave, bright, upbeat Steve didn’t even see how wonderful he was. How sweet he was, how kind he was to the kids, how dorky he was and how much you loved when he just embraced it. He looked completely drained.

You moved your hands up to cup his face. His cuts had been cleaned by one of the paramedics but he still sported a fairly nasty black eye. You kicked yourself mentally for having left him and Robin to the Russians, even though you knew if you’d attempted to take on a Russian soldier, you’d likely have gotten into a lot worse.

“Steve...”

“I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you,” he carried on.

“You’d be fine,” you traced his cheekbone, softly as not to put pressure on the bruises. “You’re better than you give yourself credit for”

“I really wouldn’t,” he broke your gaze for a second before you tilted his face back up to place a kiss on his lips. “Even still I wouldn’t want to ever be without you,”

“Well you don’t have to be without me, I’m not going anywhere,”

Steve offered his hand up only holding up his pinky “Promise?,”

“Forever and ever,” you kept one hand on his cheek before linking the pinky on your free hand with the one he had held up to you.

[aperrywilliams]

I don’t know you anymore/Part I (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

(Not my gif!)

Masterlist

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V

———————

Summary: Reader has to do something before her relationship with Spencer get worse.

Word Count: 1850.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences. Angst.

Warnings:  References to discussions, sex, sadness, low self esteem. If you are or were in a relationship with this kind of thing, please be careful.

A/N: The idea came from a Savage Garden song titled "I don't know you anymore". For now this fic will be oneshot, but I'm willing to do more parts if you think the story deserves development and perhaps a better ending for fem!reader and Spencer.

——————–

With my clothes packed in a suitcase I left it at the side of the apartment entrance. I decided to wait for Spencer sitting on the couch. It was already night and I knew he would come home soon. He had traveled two days ago for a case to Wisconsin. The morning he left to that trip was our last argument.

Don't get me wrong, when we started our relationship two years ago, we rarely argued. We were always glad to be people who settled their differences by talking and being peaceful. But in the last three months things had taken a turn with which none was comfortable. I knew it and so did he. But neither of us wanted to assume perhaps everything was already lost between us and it was time to step aside and end the relationship.

What changed?. I tried to answer that question many times through those past three months. Natural exhaustion of the relationship? Maybe. His demanding job? Probably. My need to control the uncontrollable? Much of that too. Spencer's desire to "fix" things that can't be fixed? Of course, that is in his nature. My wish that things were as they always were and not accept people can change? Definitely yes.

After a lot thought, I came to the conclusion that after his prison time, he and I began to see life in differently way. And I swear I understand him so much. I swear to understand this type of situation can change people tremendously. No, I have not experienced it. But he did it and I could see the changes on him. He became a man who suspicious on everything and everyone, taciturn, silent, even more immersed in his job than before. I'm not saying that he has stopped loving me one day to another, but I do believe our priorities changed drastically, and therefore our relationship. No, he didn't become violent in a toxic way. I could never say that about Spencer Reid, although sometimes I felt like if I was the worst thing in the world thanks to his words. And is that his excess of sincerity many times collided with my hypersensitivity. I do not blame him. But it wasn't my fault either. So... what we could do about it?

So ours discussions started. The first few times were brief, quickly ending with a "sorry" escaped from our mouths. We recognized maybe the other could be having a difficult time and it was not fair to "expand" something for didn’t worth an argument. Then they turned into longer discussions, ending with one of us locked in the bedroom and the other trying to "reason", sometimes successfully, sometimes sleeping apart, but fixing things the next morning . The most severe ones were those in which no one of us was able to say "I'm sorry" and where saying "I love you" was almost a protocol to finish arguing, but without getting anywhere. Sometimes we replaced "sorry" with rough sex so in that way we could discharge our own anger and annoyance, demonstrating to the other that despite everything we needed each other. Even if it was just in a bodily way

The extreme arguments ended with Spencer traveling for a case and not talking for days. And so it was last month: the trips were more frequent and longer. Almost without telephone calls and only a few text messages. Under that scenario, I decided it was time to do something about it. I didn't want to know how far we could go if neither of us did anything to end this escalation.

I felt his footsteps in the hallway and the turning of the key on the doorknob. I was still sitting on the couch, looking out the window. In silent. The room only illuminated by the lamp on over the coffee table.

"(Y/N)?..." was the first thing he asked after closing the door and realizing I was on the couch. He left his bag hanging on the rack, as well as his blazer.

"Hello Spencer" I replied. In the calmest voice I could, though I was breaking me inside without even saying a word. I couldn't tell if he already knew what would happen until that minute, but I think if he didn't already know, he could have guessed when he saw my suitcase next to the door. This was how he slowly approached me, looking at me standing with his hands in his pockets at a safe distance.

"What is your suitcase doing at the entrance...?" he asked cautiously, almost out of courtesy I thought.

"I think you know what my suitcase does there..." I said dryly. It was evident he had already noticed it, but he surely wanted to start by pretending that nothing happened.

"Can we talk about this?... you're rushing things ". He came over and sat on the couch next to me.

"Yes. We can talk. That’s why I decided to wait for you. I wasn't going to leave without giving you an explanation”. It was true. Despite everything, we deserved a goodbye face to face. I wasn't going to leave him a letter to avoid looking him in the eye for the last time, although I knew that would completely break me. It was fair for both of us.

"You don't have to leave. We can fix this, seriously. Please, let's talk, leaving me is not going to be the solution to our problems” he said, trying to dissuade me. Surely he thought was not a conclusive decision. Sure he thought I was pressuring him with my "supposed" departure to ask me for forgiveness.

"And what is the solution to our problems? Do you really know?". I don't know if I expected an answer to that, but I felt like I should ask anyway.

"To try. That is what we must do. We deserve a chance” he said taking my hands. I had to muster the courage not to push him away and try to stop shaking.

"How many chances Spencer? ... Can't you see this is hurting us?" . A sob tore from my throat. I could not avoid it. I could see how he bit his lower lip trying to stop the tears that also came out of his eyes.

"The necessary... we need to try the necessary. We can't throw away all this time we've been together… where we've been happy, haven't you been happy with me (Y/N)?”. One of his hands began to caress my cheek. It was more tact than I could tolerate on his part without me falling apart right there. I gently removed his hand from my cheek.

“Of course I do. I have been happy with you Spencer. And I'm not throwing this overboard. That is my reason precisely: if we continue with this it'll end up killing any good memory we have about our relationship, don't you see that it is not possible to fix what is already broken? You don't trust me anymore, and I feel like I don't know you anymore… you are someone else, you want other things… ”. I could see how Spencer froze upon hearing my words. He doubted what  was going to say to me, he opened his mouth many times without words could come out. Until they did.

“Is this how you want to end it? Giving up?” He said getting up from the couch and returning to his place leaning against one of the walls with his hands in his pockets.

"If you call 'giving up' stepping aside from this for the well being of both... then yes, I’m giving up...". I managed to say before beginning to cry openly.

“Please (Y/N), let's try it one more time. I love you, don't you love me?...”. He pulled his hands out of his pockets but was unable to get close to me. I tried my best to calm down before speaking again.

"Spencer, I love you with all my heart. I love you so much that it hurts. It hurts me not to recognize you, and it hurts me not to recognize myself. And what hurts me the most is not living up to what really you need. Not be the woman your deserve Spencer”. Until I finally said it. What I tried to show him all these months I was finally telling him.

"But what are you saying? How is it you're not enough to me?... Where did you get that...?". He looked at me in a daze. Perhaps it was the only thing he not expected from my speech.

“Look at us now. Tell me, what can I offer your life? What special thing can I give you?. A genius, an FBI agent who saves people lives from the worst tortures in the world , who has gone through so much in these years. You are a person who live and breathe for the job you do, passionate about knowledge, who could have any beauty and intelligent woman at his feet, who could live without having to stop in life routine with someone who does not understand your world... who doesn't accept you like you are…". I couldn't continue talking. I sincerely hoped he would understand. He walked over and sat across from me at the coffee table, taking my hands again trying I could look at him.

"It's not true what you're saying (Y/N)... you can't really think that..." But yeah, I thought about it. And I was sure I was right and he knew it . I was just a stone in his shoe. I was not allowing him to move forward. He deserved more than I could offer him. That was the sad truth.

"You know it's true Spencer. This has been the reason for our estrangement all along. I will never really understand what you do or help you get what you need in life. I'm holding you back and that's what I least want in the world, precisely because I love you. You deserve more than I can give you". And that's it. It was done, I said what I really felt and it was time to act. I got up from the couch. Without saying anything, he got up from the coffee table too. I looked him in the eyes, just like me, tears fell from them. With the last strength I had, I wiped the tears from his cheeks with my thumbs. I walked over and gave him the last kiss. I wanted my last memory to be the softness of his lips in contact with mine. He tried to deepen the kiss, as if he wanted to hold me back. I pulled away. He tried to speak.

"(Y/N)..." was the only thing that came out of his mouth. I'm sure he was taking in my words and looking for meaning on them.

“Goodbye Spencer”. I looked away from him face. I walked to the entrance, took my suitcase and left the apartment, not wanting to look back. My life with Spencer Reid was over in that moment.

——————–

Remember: Let me know if you think the story deserves development and perhaps a better ending for fem!reader and Spencer.

[thenotetoselfpod-hq]

“The answer is yes if you were wondering if y’all were spoiled. Whew, Chile. Don’t ask me for NOTHIN’ else.” Zion chuckled sweetly as she dramatically cleared her throat. “Lets get into it. Welcome back to another episode of the Note to Self podcast where we talk all things self care of the body, spirit, mind, work ethic, sprinkled in with a whole lot of motivation to carry us into a new day. I am your host Zion Taylor and with me in my makeshift studio is my lil baby who listens to all of my problems, my boss friend THEEEEE Brilliant O’neal.” Zion air claps as she smiles over at Brilliant. “How are you on this lovely day, mama?”

“Hey, hey, hey! I’m so excited to speak to the note to self listeners all over, it’s been fun listening in and making my own input here and there but wheww being here feels so rewarding.” She said warmly before playfully exhaling. “I’m doing good, managing like I usually do but good nonetheless. How are you?! What jewels do you plan on dropping for the people today?”

“I’m probably doin’ a little less good than you since you’re managing but girl .. I cannot complain at all. So thankful to have you here for this episode and to just catch up. We’ll get into the tea of it all a little later. We start every episode with a brief recap and I wanted to thank everyone, again, for all of the love. I hope you all were inspired to really keep killing shit in the industry that you’re in and watch the doors open up for you. Last weeks top listeners were the beauty that is known as @royalnike who spoke about her Black Owned Mechanic business and the short term goals that she has for herself in that business. Of course you, Mrs. Brilli Dis, founder and owner of The Glamour Parlor, and the beautiful @syxrai, who I’m obsessed with on IG by the way, but who also is a film producer ALL shared your short term goals which inspired me tremendously. If you missed out on that go give it a listen and drop your own goals in the comment section.

Music is the only thing that gets me through my week sometimes. This week is on you because Channing is still pressed about Good Days so that shit rings in my head every day because of her.” Zion laughed, “What have you been listening to this week? Any new music you wanna share? Put us on.

Brilliant cracked up in laughter at the mention of Channing. “That baby got taste, because that’s my jam! But this week I’ve been on my Gangsta Brilli, I’ve been playing A Gangsta’s Pain by MoneyBagg on repeat. I think his track with Jhené is the perfect vibe, so if y’all need something to vibe to, with a nice little glass of wine, One of Dem Nights, but the whole album bops.”

“Okaaaay. Now see I haven’t always been a MoneyBaggYo fan up until his songs started getting airtime on the radio. I’ma definitely have to give that a listen once Channing is done boppin’ to her fave.

And that brings us right into the TEA for the day. I’ve known Brilliant for several years now and I feel like I’ve only known her as this amazing business women, wife and mother. We both know how crazy it can be going from Hashtag Living Single to Mommy Duties real quick once you’re married and have wifely duties, etc. How long did you know your Husband before you two decided to make it official AND tie the knot? Was marrying young something that you were open to or did it not matter? What’s that young love story you can’t wait to share with your kids?” Zion smiled as she looked over at Brilliant.

“So I always tell people that me and my husband’s love story is literally crazy, and I don’t think it could’ve happened any other way. Because were short on time, for the real how we met tea, watch our YouTube video! But..I think we dated for about a year before I got pregnant and just because of the type of man he is and how in love we were, and how happy we were when our son Justice was born, we got married when he was about 3 months. I honestly didn’t see myself marrying that young or having children..and my life did a whole 180. I just thought damn I’ll probably hate it here but when you have that person to make those defining moments with..it was a breeze and I found myself being happier with my little family than when I ran the streets. I don’t think marrying young is for everyone but when you make the right decision..man the moments you’ll create..priceless. Still a hot girl though, don’t get that twisted.” She said with a playful laugh.

“EXACTLYYY. I have to remind Lex all the time when he sees me playing dress up in my boots and coochie cutters that mama BEEN a stallion, okay?! Hot Girl Summer me, please!” She laughed, “No but seriously the feeeeels. I’m obsessed with the love you two have for each other. It’s infectious. But I’m sure it hasn’t always been cupcakes and rainbows, right. Y’all, shit gets real after the wedding and the vows and even after that honeymoon phase. I know for me and Carmelo, I’m more of the opinionated one and I really had to learn to step down and let my man LEAD our home. We were pregnant before the wedding ... liiike ya girl had her dress taken OUT 4 times before I was satisfied with how my hips looked in it.” She chuckled, “You said something so special, when you have that person to make memories with you will DEFINITELY not want to live a single day without them and expanding that love into children only makes it better. Melo was trying to get me pregnant BEFORE he proposed to me and I wasn’t having it because at the time I was dealing with fertility issues and having a baby seemed damn near impossible. I always say that he spoke the life of our son, Lexington, into existence because I didn’t think that I could physically carry.” She stated, smiling again at the thought.

“I remember you alls last video where you announced the pregnancy of my other child, Jewel” She chuckled, “Um, what was the experience like for you? Having to go through all that you did for the blessing that is currently your literal shadow. She looks like her Daddy but has your everything else. What was that like?”

“That’s your child for sure.” She said with a laugh. “It was actually on the difficult side, she’s my rainbow baby. I suffered a miscarriage and some issues with fertility so I actually got pregnant with Jewel through IVF. I adore her, it’s scary having a mini version of myself. Someone who’s with all my hair, makeup and nail antics because my son Justice is not with it at all! He won’t even let me take his picture half the time.” She laughed momentarily. “I know it’s the same way with you and my baby Channing”

“I can imagine it being extremely difficult. When God’s mind is made up we can only pray that He’s included us in His plans and when he made Channing? He definitely had me in mind.” She laughed. “I still don’t know how we got so lucky but I don’t question anything. She’s obsessed with all of my clothes and hair and everything in between.”

“The last thing I wanted to talk to you about is what’s been going on in the media with Porsha, Falynn, and the Husband who I don’t even know his name yet. So Porsha Williams brought onto the Real Housewives of Atlanta show her friend Falynn a few years ago. Maybe like two seasons ago. This is someone who was also featured on this last season of the RHOA show that was filmed in 2020. Apparently the two are no longer friends and Porsha is now ENGAGED to Falynns’ Husband because they haven’t even gotten a divorce yet. I wan’t to know your thoughts on the whole situation. What type of friendship dynamic do you think they had for Porsha to be comfortable MARRYING this man?”

“Engaged. To. A. Former. Friend’s. Husband.” She said slowly before letting out a low sigh. “Now, the first mistake she made was being engaged or dating a man who is still married. I don’t care what the circumstances are, he is legally married! It is literally code and decency not to date or marry after your friends. If y’all are friends or have ever called each other friends, that’s just unacceptable. I would beat the breaks off anyone I called a friend for going after my husband if we ever were to divorce. That’s just grimy and I don’t think Falynn is mad enough. I do know though, one of my followers who is a hair stylist said how she married one of her old client’s ex husband and child’s father. Do you think that’s acceptable? Say I did a woman’s hair for years and nothing besides that and I went on to date her ex?”

“Absolutely not. Unacceptable and I’m the type of crazy that belongs in jail so you already know how that’s gone gooo. It’ll forever be up until they give me life.” Zion laughed and shook her head, “Period. Porsha is most definitey a fucked up individual but I would LOVE to hear y’alls thoughts on the matter so leave alll comments in the comment section below.” 

“Thank you all so much for listening to me and Brilliant catch up. Brilliant please tell my listeners where they can follow you and how they can support The Glamour Parlour. Alsooo, when’s the next brunch or giveaway?”

“It has been sooo fun talking with you! I’m glad I got the opportunity to talk with to boss friend Zion! I get this question a lot..so often.” She let out a low laugh. “All I’ll say is to stay tuned, we’ll be turning up soon and the giveaways won’t stop!”

“Ayyyy so there it is people, the beautiful Brilliant O’neal. Be sure to check her out across all social media platforms at @brillixdis​ and I’ll talk to you in the next episode. Byyyyyyyye.”

[howdoyousleep3]

K, this is probably a difficult question to answer, but how do you write smut so well? I want to do something for the upcoming holidays and every time I write smut it just doesn’t feel right. I’m asking all my favorite writers about their process and I’d love your input.

Hi Lisa love. I’m super super late to answering this phenomenal question, and I hope you’re still interested in my answer, but it’s one I think I need to answer for myself right now. I’ve probably included too much information about my general process but if you’d like me to expand more on smut specifically I can do that for you. 💖

My process always starts with an idea I can’t move away from.

It’s one where thoughts naturally build and not one where I’m like, “hey that’s awesome” and then move away from. This tends to happen when I’m driving to and/or from work. If I think about it for more than a day I write it down in my journal so I don’t forget it. What tends to happen though is I think about one idea and only one idea for a long time. My brain doesn’t like to move past a good idea once it’s in my head so what I end up doing a lot of the time is running with an idea as soon as I come up with it. I stew on it for a few days, get a feel for it, think of more lines of dialogue, think of more plot.

These ideas tend to be focused around a line of dirty talk or a snapshot of a moment in my head and from there I build outward. How did my characters get to that point? What is the setting? Where do they go from there?

Now, lately there are stories I’ve been working on where I do outline them. I have a traveler’s journal that is full of Stucky nonsense and one of the journals is my secret fic I’ve been working to build for a long time now. The other journal is just ideas for other fics or thoughts. If it requires thought and connections I outline it but most of the time I don’t do that.

Once I feel like I’m bursting at the seams with this idea I just…start writing.

If there are parts of ideas that I don’t want to forget I write them down but other than that I am very much a person who writes from start to finish and only in one draft. I absolutely hate jumping around in a story. I did it with NASBB and it was a nightmare for me. I know a lot of people want to roll with certain energies they get and write certain parts but that doesn’t work well for me. I like the build as a writer. I enjoy feeling it right alongside characters, I like the build between them as well as for me reaching the part I’ve been thinking about writing for a while now.

It’s not as fun for me when I write the one part that I’m excited to write and then have to go back and figure out how they got there and write backwards and jump around. I enjoy the flow of writing from start to finish and most of the time I’ve thought about it in my head for a long enough time that I don’t have moments where I stutter and am like, “fuck what was supposed to happen here??”

Things I do when I’m actively writing:

I write in Word bc I hate Google Docs.

Music is huge for me. I tend to listen to Lo-fi Music when I’m writing because words distract me.

Sitting at a desk or in another space that is not my bedroom is best.

Sprints with other writers always help! That’s where you just write for a given amount of time and then share your word count with them once time is up. They’re fun and makes me feel less lonely when I’m writing, ha.

I put my mf phone away.

I stand up and take frequent breaks.

I work on one story at a time and one story only. If I bounce between stories I lose the energy and the focus I need. Too many WIPs has my brain moving in too many different directions and it is no good.

Ask friends for hype. Never be afraid to ask people to hype you up.

When I’m writing smut, I tend to imagine it in my head like a movie. I think the build I’ve let fester within myself for a while helps me get emotions across the way I want them to, more intensely. I think putting myself in others’ shoes tends to help in situations like this, imagining what characters are going through would feel like, inside and out. I think I focus less on the physical act of sexual situations and more on how it feels to people, if that makes sense?

Like, if I’m writing someone giving another person a handjob I focus on writing more how it physically feels rather than the action itself. I won’t focus as much on the grip or the stroke or what the person is doing with their hand but I will focus on how it feels for that person, let the reader figure out what the person’s hand feels like through what the one receiving is experiencing.

I’m not sure if that makes sense. Show don’t tell, I guess.

Something that helped me grow with smut is not being afraid to put things on paper. If you need to blush as you write it out, do it, because that shit is more than likely super hot, ha. Also, if I have a reaction or thought, or I think a character would, even for a millisecond, I include it.

For dialogue or dirty talk, I write it out exactly how it sounds in my head. Y’all are probably so fucking sick and tired of my bitten-off words or my smushed together words, but I write it out exactly as it sounds. Fuck correct sentence structure, fuck grammar—write it out how it sounds exactly.

Once I’m done writing, or when I’m close enough to the end, I share with a few people to get their input. I make sure and tell them what I’m warry about or what I want from them specifically, whether that be hype or grammar or a section. I’ll transfer my work over to a Google Doc and share it with them so they can comment and read through. I’ll also take this time to read it through and give her a good once-over as well. I am someone who, once it is given the green light by others, I want to post and share immediately.

I tend to have a massive burst of writing energy after I post a fic and start reading feedback but I’ve learned that I need to bask in the feedback of a fic before jumping right into another.

But jesus christ writing is hard and it sucks sometimes and I’m learning to be better at certain things. Sometimes the action of writing is so difficult, especially in a fandom that is saturated in that good good content. There are so many ideas floating around and sometimes it is so hard to see so many people just pumping out incredible content and to not feel negatively about yourself. This was something that took me a while to accept and to embrace, to shift my outlook on it and the energy it gives me.

I’ve learned I can’t force it. If I’m not feeling it, I’m not feeling it and I need to channel my energy elsewhere. Sometimes the words flow right out of my fingers and other times I stare at my computer screen for an hour and have barely put together 3 sentences.

This is something I’m really struggling with at the moment. I have a ton of ideas and open docs (that’s probably my issue) and I can’t write the way I tend to be able to. Here I am giving you advice I literally need to take myself. Sometimes it won’t happen, and we need to show ourselves grace, to be nice to ourselves.

I know you said you would be writing something for the holidays and that the holidays have passed, but I hope you were able to do so. Even if you weren’t, I hope you don’t feel super bad about it because the time will come where you’ll be so ready to write again. Maybe starts small. When things don’t come to me I go to my Inbox and see if I can answer a lil’ somethin’ somethin’. Doesn’t have to be this large grandiose idea.

Lub you with all my heart. Thank you for such a good question. 💖

[monsterlovinghours]

Can I please get some soft Scarabee? I have this idea of the reader getting a tarot deck from him, and giving him the first reading, and getting the lovers or a bunch of love cards and BOOKING it out once they realize their subtle crush is not so subtle?

You knocked softly at the door of Scarabee’s attic workshop, your stomach fluttering at the sound of him moving within, which you firmly reminded yourself was nerves and nothing else. Of course he made you nervous, he was a centuries old demon who practiced black magic; he’d make the most stout-hearted of men nervous. Which, of course, is why your hands always seemed to shake when you were around him, why your heart seemed to hammer and your stomach felt as though it were curling into knots. You had hoped your frequent lessons with him at the estate he shared with his associates would dull the effect his presence had on you, that you’d become used to him and grow more comfortable being alone with him. But, while you had always felt safe during your lessons, never once fearing that he would hurt you or cause you harm, your nerves hadn’t seemed to abate. Sometimes, you wondered if he knew how he made you feel, if he could hear your heart race or smell the change in your aura or something. If he did, he never let on. 

Exhaling a deep breath, you arranged your features into a smile when you heard the door open, mismatched eyes and a crooked grin greeting you. “Right on time, cher,” he crooned, stepping back and gesturing for you to enter. You weren’t sure, but you thought you heard him inhale deeply as you passed by, as if breathing in your scent, and the thought caused a shiver to roll down your spine. The door closed behind you, and you took a seat at the table, your usual place for lessons. Scarabee sat in the chair opposite you, as he usually did, but this time, he laid both hands palm-up on the scrubbed surface of his work table. “Gimme your hands,” he said softly, and you did, a little confused on his intentions but obeying nonetheless. Ice cold against your skin, his hands pressed your palms together, the soot that always seemed to cover them leaving gray-ish streaks. “You’ve been my apprentice for a while now, darlin’, and you’ve been making great strides with your magic.” He smiled proudly, and your stomach gave another roll, your cheeks feeling hot.

“Thank you,” you murmured, wanting to look him in the eye but not quite able to bring yourself to do so. You had always had trouble with eye contact, as if looking too close or too deep would burn your eyes, like looking into the sun. His grin hitched a fraction before he continued. 

“I’m right proud of the work you’ve put in, ma cher, so I wanted to give ya a little something.” His hands released yours, pulling your palms apart, and though you’d felt nothing to signal its arrival, a small, handpainted box appeared in your left hand. Your eyes widened a bit; you had seen a box similar to this in his attic, though the patterns and colors were slightly different. 

Before you could ask, he proudly announced, “Voila! Your very own tarot deck.”

There was no quelling the twisting of your stomach as you brought the box closer to inspect it, noticing the detail that had gone into it; he’d included your favorite flower, runes for protection and knowledge, even the constellation that made up your star sign. Opening the box, you saw the cards inside were equally beautiful, all hand painted, bearing floral patterns that incorporated your irises and his lilies; he’d even worked in his signature gold paisley around the edges. 

“Scarabee...they’re gorgeous.” You fanned them out, stunned by the intricate artwork. “This must have taken you ages!”

Crossing one leg over the other, he leaned back in his chair and made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Not as long as you’d think, sugar. Besides, it was my pleasure. You’ve earned it.” You could feel his gaze skate over you, as if sizing you up, then his smile grew wider, showing off the pointed tips of his teeth. “Say, why dontcha break ‘er in?”

You looked up, brow furrowed. “Break it in?”

“Yeah, go ahead and give me a reading real quick. Nothing fancy, just a little something to help you get to know your cards.” Something deep in his eyes flashed. “Or to help the cards get to know you.”

Your throat suddenly felt dry, and you prayed your cheeks didn’t look as red-hot as they felt as you nodded. “Sure,” you agreed, your fingers delicately shuffling the cards the way he’d taught you, techniques he’d learned from decades of professional gambling. Scarabee leaned forward again as you spread your cards in an arc across the table, his attention squarely focused on you. Lungs expanded as you took a deep breath, closing your eyes and letting your hand drift over the cards. Three seemed to leap out at you, tingling like a spark of static electricity when your fingertips made contact. Leaving them facedown, you pulled them from the deck and put the rest to the side. Letting out that deep breath, you flipped the first card. 

Ace of Cups.

Your gut twisted; you knew the meanings of each card, each Arcana inside and out, and you knew very well that this card represented new relationships, that feeling of first love, butterflies in the stomach, giddiness and hope. The urge to look up at Scarabee was strong, but you ignored it, knowing you wouldn’t be able to handle the look on his face once he saw the panic etched into yours. Fingers trembling, you flipped the second card.

The Empress.

A card brimming with sensuality and romantic connection. You felt sick to your stomach. Surely the third card wouldn’t betray you! You turned it over.

The Lovers.

Scarabee couldn’t contain himself; he threw his head back and cackled, his laughter shaking the table. Fire spread across your face in a mortified blush as you hurriedly scooped up the cards and shoved them back into the box, mumbling something about having to leave and scurrying out of the attic as quickly as your legs could carry you, forgetting entirely to take your new tarot deck with you. 

You found an empty library, most likely one of Zhuk’s, and curled up in an enormous high-backed chair upholstered in leather, hiding your face in your hands and nearly wailing with embarrassment. That couldn’t have gone more wrong. You weren’t ready to admit your feelings for Scarabee to yourself, let alone have your brand new tarot deck spell them out right in front of him! You wondered if you could convince Bajo to dig a hole in one of his gardens and bury you inside it so you wouldn’t have to look the Cajun in his mismatched eyes ever again.

Some time passed, you weren’t sure how much, before there was a soft knock on the door. A flash of gold made your heart skip, but the curls and gentle sprinkle of freckles gave the clone away. Bee didn’t say anything as he approached you, only smiled gently and knelt beside the chair. He took your head and pressed something into it; the box containing your new tarot deck. You swallowed hard, then thanked him, finding it easier somehow to look Scarabee’s clone in the eye than the actual man himself. Bee leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your cheek, lingering perhaps just a second too long before he straightened and left the room, the chill of his lips stark against the spreading heat of your blush.

Inside the box, you found a note tucked amongst the cards, and you knew from the handwriting who had penned it. Your stomach gave a flutter as you unfolded it, your heart beginning to pound as you read it.

Ma petite, 

My apologies for laughing, sweetheart, that must have seemed rude of me. I hope you’ll forgive me for saying so, but seeing your pretty face go red so quickly was, quite frankly, adorable. I just couldn’t help myself. 

Now, you and I both know what those three cards meant, darling. And I want you to know, they wouldn’t have leaped out at you like that if those feelings weren’t mutual. Understand me, honey? I know you’re probably feeling embarrassed and shy, and that’s alright, but as soon as you’re ready, you just come on up and find me. We’ll have a little talk about how many kisses I need to give you to make up for my transgression. 

And where on your sweet little body those kisses might end up. 

Scarabee.