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survivor-rotuma · 5 years

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Ep. 3: “People are coming to me like bees to pollen” - Felix

Felix

I think I am becoming bossy. I should cool down for now and lay low. Don't want to be seen as too big of a threat just yet.

Apollo

IM GAGGING! 6-1? Someone used an extra vote to make sure Thomas wasn’t home? Or he had a vote against him? Idk, idrc I survived the first vote of this game and sis it was stressful but easy. Thomas came on like half an hour before tribal and voted for Bradley without talking to anyone, I’m shook. A trio formed between myself, Borris and Zest whilst Borris and I were also invited for a foursome with Bradley by Brianna. I’m shaking tbh

Marie

Ok jay, if you wanna here about it buckle up. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY JUMPING OVER A VOLCANO LIMITS ME FROM TYPING WORDS U G H ID BE GOOD AT THIS ONE BECAUSE I KNOW WAY TOO MYCH ABOUT THE SURVIVORS AND TO QUOTE DEBBIE “AND IM PISSED” , have a good day :)

Lysandre

So the challenge has been posted and it's cute!! I like this challenge because it allows me to think critically and analytically!! I am currently putting in WORK in the challenge but my tribe is flopping lmaoo. I'm trying my best to give them tips and tell them to mimic the common things I'm finding and apply it to their own pairings but something isnt clicking!! Hopefully we can pull out a win!

Lysandre

Can my tribe... do the challenge?? I refuse to go to tribal again but I also don't feel like carrying my tribe in the challenge by doing each one of the pairings extensively.

Flint

I’m glad I was able to sit out of the immunity challenge this week. However I am still feeling our tribe of 6 is actually 4 because I don’t see much interaction from Suzy or Charlie.

Lysandre

At this point I am preparing for tribal council. Jay announced the scores for the challenge and our tribe was down by 30+ points and in last place. An actual alliance (our alliance name) decided to vote David off if we go to tribal again because of his problematic behavior and mean comment to GiGi that he totally didn't say lmaoo. The challenge is basically up I'm ready to forfeit and go right to tribal.

Felix

So Suzy and Charlie do not seem to be contributing at all. This is fine I guess since it just puts a bigger target on their backs as a result. I am just tired of these useless tribe members. Maybe it'd be better to go to tribal in order to vote them off so that they cannot turn on fellow Tuai members later since they wouldn't have that strong of a connection with us.

Felix

Flint just complimented me on my good work in the challenges. It seems that my challenge performance is being noticed. While this ensures that I will be safe in the majority of pre-merge, it will just paint a target on my back during the merge. Plus, I know I will be no good in these individual immunity challenges so let's see how this goes

Flint

I’m feeling pretty comfortable in the game, which makes me nervous something will happen. Our tribe is doing great in challenges and I have a strong alliance, I’m worried about an impending tribe swap!

David Penn

I am worried i will get voted off if we lost, i've only added like two things because i'm too busy rn.

Brianna

Welp. Late update but the Thomas vote went smooth. Also we won the third challenge so woo!!! Nothing really that new going on. There’s an alliance chat for me, Boris, Apollo and Bradley as well now so that’s...cool. That just leaves zest out for the next vote which I’m not too upset about since she doesn’t talk to me a lot.

Charlie

I'm scared I haven't been participating as much as the others and therefore might be out next. I need to start forming alliances ASAP

Bradley

I feel really bad. I did some of the plots for the spreadsheet but everyone else did more. I was busy with hosting family over for brothers bday i didnt really have time. Im glad we won immunity tho. It probably saved my ass.

Charlie

I think I may just have formed a secure alliance, we'll see though

Marie

This vote seems too easy, everyone except for David knows David is going home, not that I’m complaining one bit

Suzy quits

Kathleen

"Yeah tribal was cancelled but I still need to air my David feelings so this was my voting confessional:

Right. Well. You’re rude, you didn’t help in this challenge and I feel like you may have thrown your part in the last challenge even though you were very adamant that if people were not doing well in challenges they were a target. I do not in a million years feel like I can trust you. And I’m pretty sure it was you who wrote that horrible voting confessional for Gigi. Which was horrible and completely unnecessary by the way. It sounded like a bully. And I hate bullies. Bye, I’d say I’d miss you... but I won’t."

Felix

"Now that we are down one tribe member, it is essential to win this next challenge. Though this does mean that if we were to go to tribal council, Charlie would be the one to leave. We still have that safety blanket, but I am just nervous about what happens after Charlie is voted out. We need to do everything in our power to prevent that situation from happening.

I should have seen the One World twist coming since Jay seems to like it. Either way, the Tuai Quad Alliance LLC has decided that I should be one of the representatives out of the two. This will definitely make me seem like the leader of the tribe now. I just have to watch my back and see what happens. If they are going to perceive me like that, I might was well become it. Let's see how this all pans out."

Raul

Well, David better thank the Survivor Gods because we were for sure gonna vote him out. But alas someone quit, I hope they are ok and all is well. <3 Not looking forward to this one world twist -_-

Felix

I am trying to establish ties with a fair amount of people while we are in the One World. For one, I want to become friends with both Raul and Kathleen. They said they wanted to work with me earlier so hopefully they plan to keep that promise. I also want to see how much I can trust Bradley. I did give him the advantage so maybe I have an ally there. I've also talked to Lysandre a bit and think he's alright. Let's hope I can establish myself socially in this game!

Zest

Today is my birthday and I am so grateful for all of the sweet birthday wishes from everyone.

Felix

I must say that people are coming to me like bees to pollen. They all want to talk to me which makes the most sense since they all want to be social. Though some are better at it than others. I've been getting really good vibes from Lysandre, Kathleen, Apollo, and Marie. In that order. They just seem like good people. Also, Marie is 13!? Shook! I did gather some intel though from these people. Apparently, on Mea, David is at the bottom for being a rude-ass and being abrasive. That means if I am on a tribe with David, he will definitely be a target which might help later down the line. Marie is also very upfront and blunt. She asked me immediately "Who is on the bottom of your tribe?" Like girl. Be subtle. I'm not giving info out that easily so I just said no one even though it is clearly Charlie. Everyone on Mea though has mentioned this "bitch" who's on the bottom for being rude. It's David. I'm just so shook that they all are giving out this information that easily. It didn't take long for Marie to start spilling everything to me. She could be valuable as a rat later down the line so long as I don't tell her too much. Though she has said that her tribe really likes me for some reason. I am definitely rising as a leader for the game and will have a target on my back. Though it's great to finally have social ties that could carry me to merge.

Felix

Apollo mentioned working together. As in, if we ever worked together then that should be our alliance name (Club 96). Interesting proposal right there lol

Lysandre

This one world twist was cute until I came to the conclusion that I was playing the game with someone I had blocked and deleted and never wanted to play with ever again. I can see right through his alias and I literally want to will my idol off and quit. And I was really liking his alias until I started seeing connections and speech pattern.. yeah this is really ugly.

Flint

TWIST!! I knew the feeling in my guy was right. I was feeling too secure and now I have no idea what’s going on.

Marie

God knows what jay has planned as long as no volcanos are involved

Felix

Marie is being very pushy. I mean so I am but I like to think I am endearing. I think she is going to be pretty annoying for the rest of tribe so maybe she'll be the next up. Definitely don't want to be on her side.

Brianna

One world. New people. One survivor. Anyways. Marie is cool. But um. I’m tired and don’t feel like getting all these notifications from the one world chat but I also can’t mute it so ughhhh.

Felix

Cassie is just spilling all to me. She has an advantage that allows her to see how many alliance chats someone from the other tribe is rocking. That is such a useful tool. Especially late into pre-merge right before merge. I think it'll be really cool to fool her into using it. I hope she doesn't use it on me if we are ever on different tribes. Now, at least, I know that Cassie is loyal to me since hse is sharing all these details. Apollo is getting antsy that no one from his tribe will be a leader. I'm trying to convince it'll be fine, but he's not having it. He jsut has to trust me and then we can move on from there.

Lysandre

So Marie is actually Marie that's nice to know even though she wasn't supposed to do that ajdjdjsjs. And that impacts the game drastically because people are going to put their trust in her more now that they know she isn't a returnee. It is even having this round effects because she is about to be a leader. Deny the affects if yiu wabt but they definetely exist.

Lysandre

For the sake of Lysandre I am going to continue this game and act like I don't know who Felix is. Lysandre doesnt deserve to have their existance cut short especially considering the fact that they have an idol. They deserve all the love and support.

Dumbass bitch number 1 (Marie)

"To the tune of jeopardy:

Do do do do do do do, do do do do do, do dodododo, do do do dodo do do do, do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do, do do do do do, do dodododo do do do dodo do do do, DO, do do do do do do."

Lysandre

Moving forward in the game I, lysandre, would love to align with Felix in company with an actual alliance.

Boris

PSA: i love Jay

Volcano bitch

I love you jayyyy

Zest

Jay, sorry you are having a rough time getting home. sending good vibes your way.

Cassie

So, here's the thing. I love the vibe with my tribe and the alliance of Tuai Quad. I believe in them, but I know it could be a good idea to keep my options open and form new alliances too. A tri-leader alliance? Oh yeah. Only time will tell what I do with the information I get.

Felix

Another alliance chat down! Woohoo! This one is with Marie, Kathleen, Raul, Lysandre, and I. It's called Drama Bitches. This alliance I feel pretty good about but I do feel on the bottom since I am not from their tribe

Felix

To follow up, I have been positioning myself with people socially very well. It seems that everyone wants to be my friend and that everyone likes me. It will definitely be hard betraying them, but it has to be done. I need to put myself in the least risk out of everyone here in order to make it to the end. I feel I have done that. If people are going to be inactive now, then they must be the next on the chopping block. I hope everything goes well from here. Especially since I have connections on all three tribes. It should keep me safe in case of a swap

Felix

"It seems my socializing has paid off! Firstly, I was chosen as leader for one of the new tribes. I got to choose people for my new tribe that I would be making. I definitely saw this coming, so it was good that I was able to choose them myself. I feel confident with my new tribe. Everyone, except Boris, I have talked to at least once so that'll help. I think I have picked people that enable me to have power over everyone else if I play my cards right. How I see it: I have aligned with Joey, Lysandre, and Rual. I have talked a bit with Zest, and Boris I am just getting to now. I have talked extensively with Apollo. He and I have bonded really well. Perhaps that will keep me safe for the time being. Mainly why I picked the people I did is to have easy boots earlier on (Zest and Boris) and to have people I'm already aligned with be with me (Joey, Raul, and Lysandre). I definitely do think I have picked a good tribe though.

Secondly, my socializing has paid off in terms of immunity. I definitely saw myself having a bunch of connections, but I didn't know it amounted to being the most popular. I think, socially, I have positioned myself well. Now I just got to keep this momentum up in order to succeed! Hopefully, everyone I am aligned with makes it to merge. It might be hard for Flint since he is on vacation. In hindsight, I should have picked him since it would be easier to explain his situation if I was there. I hope he doesn't get a target on his back for being inactive tonight! I think that they might vote out David since he is annoying. I told Cassie and Flint this, so maybe they can use that to their advantage.

Finally, I think this might paint a huge target on my back. People are going to know I am very well-liked by a lot of people. If they carry that information with them, they could use it against me. That'll be a problem for later. Plus, I have an idol to fall back on in case that does happen. Overall, it is going extremely well for Felix Rodriguez!"

Really dumb bitch (Marie)

I just realized I’m a threat, and now I’m lowkey panicking because I just made a plan with some people about how we get to a merge with a majority and now I’m scared that they’ll see me as a strategic and social target because everyone I’ve talked to I’ve been able to persuade. Let’s hope I’m not the Michaela of this game and get voted out cause I’m to strategic

Marie

The second this tribe swap happened I already had so many plans and I’m scared that people might want me out because no one wants to sit with someone who started making moves the second they could?? I done fucked up

Brianna

Well new tribe. I’m pretty okay with the set up tho. Me and Marie have really clicked and we went to talking strategy right away. I’m glad Bradley is here. He isn’t on that much but he will probably vote with me. And Kathleen was another person I got to talk to a lot and she’s from original mea with Marie so that’s good. Haven’t gotten to talk to flint or Charlie. And. Talking with Cassie is just. It’s so dry so far....

Charlie

So the tribe just merged, I've formed a new alliance and I'm super excited to see where it goes haha. Feeling a bit nervous about tribal council however since it is my first one. But I feel confident I won't be voted out just yet

Felix

I have created "The Gold Alliance" with Lysandre and Raul. They have both given me permission to add Joey to the alliance chat. I wanted to add Joey in order to keep OG Tuai safe from harm. If I can do that, then being on this tribe won't be so bad after all. Hopefully, however, Joey can maintain a social status to justify me bringing him into the alliance. Otherwise, he is on his own. I hope the other OG Tuai are doing well and avoiding elimination today

Lysandre

"Me in the middle of one world: Omg I believe I know Felix's real self and I am literally about to quit I hate the person that Felix is outside of the alias

Felix: Picks me first to be a part of his tribe. "

Lysandre

"Ok so the new tribes have me feeling pretty iffy. Yes I am immune at the moment but I am separated from both Marie and Kathleen. This doesn't give me any comfort knowing that I am on a tribe with individuals who I do not know very well either and being stuck with Raul who works all the time and isn't 100% aligned with me yet.

While on new Tuai, Felix decided to form an alliance between me, him, and Raul which was a fraction of the Drama Bitches alliance that was formed during One World that consisted of Me, Felix, Raul, Marie and Kathleen. Now I am not dumb. I am aware that Cassie and Felix are close and Apollo fits in there somewhere too. My eyes are open. SHARINGAN! "

Marie

If David doesn’t go home I’ll cry

Boris

"Whew so much has happened

I got an idol a couple days ago!! I can't remember if I wrote a confessional about this

Someone walked, I wasn't really all that interested in that.

AND THEN SUDDENLY WE'RE IN ONE WORLD and I have mild panic bc i hate one world's, too many people.

And then we gotta pick 2 leaders, Marie and Felix volunteer and me and the rest of Sumi tribe ALMOST fight because we're messy heauxs but we eventually let it happen

And then tribe swap!! Surprise!! Except no one is actually super surprised but here we are anyway. And best of all, my dynamic trio alliance of me and Apollo and Zest is still together? When will ur faves? So yeah I'm in a good position, I like this tribe way better than my first one"

Maynor

I think it might be me going or its gunna be David. Thats what my vote is gunna be. Hopefully it works.

Brianna

I forgot if I said David is the target but David is the target.

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elvesofnoldor · 8 years

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Last year, the uni LGBT+ pride board I’m part of tried to organize a series of screenings that feature LGBT films with poc protagonists, and only 2-3 people showed up to each of them. We advertised the screenings as much as we could, and for as long as I could, but people just didnt come to the screenings, even though all of the films are quite critically acclaimed and reasonably popular. Tonight, I just came back from a screening of “Moonlight” and I was pleasantly surprised that roughly 20 people came to the screening, and quite a few of them are people of colour. Someone (a fellow poc acquaintance) actually told me that there is a international students’ formal tonight and they worried that not a lot of people are going to turn up, so I prepared for the worst. We put up a facebook page for the screening for only two days, literally, and 20 might not sound like much but it was way more than i or any of my board members expected.

Honestly a major reason behind the good turn out has to do with good timing. “Moonlight” just won the best picture it damn well deserved and a lot of people didn’t hear about it before its oscar win. Now that it did win, people actually wanna watch it, and the local theatre that used to show it only started to show the film again on next Monday. I watched “Moonlight” for the first time right before it was nominated for Oscar, mainly because a Chinese film critic said that watching the film made him feel like watching a Wong Kar Wai picture. At first I thought he was just imagining things, but turns out European and Asian art cinemas did in fact influence Barry Jenkins’s directing, and it’s just not that one critic that see Wong Kar Wai in “Moonlight”. That’s how i got interested, but that’s not exactly why I loved the film so much i’d say it’s my favourite LGBT film thus far. “Moonlight” bears reminiscences of Wong Kar Wai’s pictures, but it’s not a Wong Kar Wai picture and that’s a good thing.

Watching "Moonlight” with 20 something people in a campus lecture hall tonight was the 2nd time viewing the film for me. Interestingly enough, I reacted to this film similar to who I reacted to Wong Kar Wai’s films that feature Leslie Cheung. The first time I watched them, I usually thought, “it was a good film. I liked it. I think?”. The second time I watched them--that’s the time when all the details came together and the emotions hit me, raw and hard. I couldn’t stop crying the 2nd time I watched “Moonlight”, and it was weird that the movie emotionally impacted me this hard since the subject matter really isn’t something I can relate to as a non black person. Whatever the reasons are, I know that they were different reasons why I cried watching some of the Wong Kar Wai pictures the second time.

The poetic and lyrical style Wong had does not give moviegoers the kind of instant gratifications they are usually looking for, and I could see a bit of disappointment in some of the audience members because of it (they did smile politely and said they liked the film though). Before I was a film student, I was just a regular moviegoer too, and I looked for that kind of fast food instant gratification as well when I went to watch a movie. So, really, I don’t have some sort of moral high ground when it comes to appreciating art films, in fact, I haven’t watched some French new wave artists’ films till this year.

The first time I watched “Happy Together”, a pretty iconic gay film (I actually screened the film last year, but really, I should have done that this year because of “Moonlight”), I almost didn’t make it through because how much I hated the dysfunctional and fucked up relationship between Leslie Cheung’s character Ho Po Wing and Tony Leung’s character Lai Yiu Fai. I didn’t really like “Days of Being Wild” because how much I could not get past my dislike for the volatile and self-destructive dandy Leslie Cheung plays in the movie. But the 2nd time I heard his character’s theme music from “Days of Being Wild” in “2046″, I couldn’t stop crying. Watching Leslie Cheung and hearing Leslie Cheung in these two movies, feel like watching and hearing his ghost on screen. And let me tell you, feeling a dead person’s emotions can really fuck you up. I can see his ghost, hear his ghost and feel his ghost--forever preserved in films. The emotions that’s inaccessible to me in the first screening and the sense of lost and despair that I couldn’t feel all suddenly hit me during the 2nd viewing. It’s been almost 14 years since he jumped down from a hotel’s balcony, it had only been 12 years when I watched Wong Kar Wai’s movies for the first times. I only started to miss him over a year ago, but I know that I will continue to miss him years into the future.

Obviously I dug Wong Kar Wai’s overall style, but the feeling and emotions in his films only made such an impact in me because they were the emotions and feelings of a family member that never existed. Not to get mushy here (well, I already am pretty mushy and emo am i), but the memories Leslie Cheung left on and off screen makes him seem like a family member to me. He was queer, he was bisexual (maybe gay tbh), and he was Chinese. I grew up to love woman as a woman, and before I was that, I was Chinese--I am Chinese and I will always be Chinese. I really could have used someone like him to look up to. However, Leslie wasn’t just a family member, he was a unreachable and untouchable family member. You don’t romanticize family members, but you do that if you never get to know them or see them. Wong’s films can be deeply personal to me, but his films’ subject matters are never socially or culturally or politically radical (although they can be interpreted to something of that effect). Oftentimes Wong Kar Wai’s films felt devoid of substance because of that. On the other hand, Barry’s “Moonlight” doesn’t have that problem. In fact, the substance enriched the film and made the film oscar worthy.

I didn’t talk about this before, since I was searching in moonlight tag for a post that says similar things. If any of you saw a black folk talked about similar thing, I’d like to reblog that post because It’s better that commentaries about “Moonlight” comes from black folks, more importantly, black gay folks. After all, the movie was about them and made for them. I see a lot of people talking about how beautiful the “you are the only man who ever touched me” line is, but I don’t see people talking about just how important the line that say something like “black boys look blue under moonlight” is, or how important the imagery of a young chiron standing at the beach and under the moon is. That line combined with that important imagery, almost...romanticize black skin and dark skins. Now, art cinemas don’t do that shit. Art cinemas feature white people and light skin people, and it always romanticize whiter and paler skins. Art cinemas is blond hair white woman with blue veins in Godard’s films, art cinemas is Maggie Cheung’s paper white skin in Wong Kar Wai’s “Ashes of Time”, art cinemas is women that look like porcelain dolls in “Neon Demon”. Art cinemas is never for and about black people, black men or dark skin people, and it sure as hell never portrayed dark skin as beautiful the way it portrayed white skins. White skin is beautiful and humanized, while dark skin is consumable at best, dirty and sinful at worst. But with that line, with the movie’s beautiful cinematography that features dark skin colours, “Moonlight” subverts that harmful norm of portraying skin colours in films. And it’s so SO important. I talked about how important that it features black gay sexuality, black identity and black subjectivity before, but I didn’t talk about this before.

I still can’t really explain why “Moonlight” impacted me so much. I mean, I could pull some shenanigans about how universal the pain and loss Chiron felt are, but I hate the word “universal” and how problematic it is. When it’s applied to films that features white subjects, labelling white subjects’ feelings and emotions as “universal” only perpetuate the harmful notion that white experiences are the default and are supposed to be ALWAYS relatable to everyone. However, when you label a black subject’s feelings and emotions as universal--especially when a lot of these emotions stemmed from experiences and struggles unique to black people--you eradicate the blackness that’s inherent to the subjects the films feature. Chiron is black before he was introduced to have a gay/queer sexuality. To me, Chiron’s father figure Juan’s speech about how black folks are everywhere and the first ones on earth as well as his recounting about how a black woman says black boys look blue under moonlight are establishing Chiron’s identity as a black person. Mind you, that process happened before we even suspected he was a young gay boy trying to figure out his sexuality.

I guess what i could say is that I could better appreciate what Barry was trying to do the 2nd time watching his film. He was humanizing his subjects, making them sympathetic and relatable in an art cinema language, and that effort finally made the full impact on me when I watched “Moonlight” the 2nd time. I don’t think it made the same kind of impact on the 20 people i watched the movie with today. it will take time, and hopefully they get to watch the film 2nd time, 3rd time or even 4th time, and then maybe they will truly understand what Barry Jenkins was trying to accomplished.

#long post for ts #yolanda talks #me for ts #not spn

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