#Honey loves his brother but GOD if he's not such a bloody failure

[cosmicwhoreo]

So I made them Salty Shark Crew ocs!

And I love them so so much! Aaaaaaand I also kept these two freaks-

because they were too fun a duo to give up to somebody else

[writernopal]

🦎Creation⏳

Oepus was once called the Cradle of Death. It was red and angry and unfit to harbor anything save for the lack of life. The dragon, Lavos, and the fae, Ylia, feeling pity for such a cursed land, made love upon it to create life. Vast forests, deep seas, lush jungles, mighty plains, arid deserts, and impressive mountains came to be along with all manner of living creatures. It was a perfect safe haven and more beautiful than either of them could have imagined, but such a thing was delicate and needed to be protected lest it fall back into its lifeless state. So Lavos and Ylia came together once more, intending to create masters for this new world. 

One in my image and one in yours. They whispered lovingly to one another.

But the life borne from them was flawed: a pale crop of male children, screaming like dying dragons and maddened faefolk, disfigured and filled with hatred. Again and again, Lavos and Ylia attempted to create life as beautiful as the one they had blessed Oepus with but to no avail. Each litter of children was more cursed than the last, so they called them akuji, the awakened dead ones. Lavos and Ylia, distraught with their failure, abandoned their children and the beautiful place they created, for they didn’t have the heart to wipe it from existence.

The children began to fight amongst themselves, blaming one another for their parents’ departure and brutally slaughtering each other. However, one child, Metras, who so yearned for love that instead of fighting, he wandered all of Oepus in search of one who would love him. But what he discovered was something far more significant. Lavos and Ylia were so preoccupied with creating guardians that they failed to see something else was beginning to beat to life. Dorma, God of Dwarves, Kava, Goddess of Lizards, Orran, God of Humans, and Ivien, Goddess of Elves, were gathered in a glade when Metras came upon them. They made a pact that they would rise against those who bloodied the world with their endless struggles: The Pale Kings.

Metras pleaded with them. We only search for love! 

But they didn’t listen; they slew him, and as he lay there dying, many hands sprung from the ground around him. They embraced him warmly, for they were not the hands of the dead but of Shanta, Goddess of Love and Life. 

I shall give your kind someone to be loved by. She whispered, Search for my daughters, and they shall comfort you with their warmth. 

He smiled and wept, then breathed his last, reassured by her honeyed words. 

In that glade, Shanta gave a blessed kiss to each one of the gods, sealing with it the promise that her daughters would tame The Pale Kings and cease the violence that shook their world. They bent to her will and laid down their arms. With the contract made, she commissioned her brother Rameses God of Wind and Strength, to spread word of her deed to every corner of Oepus so that The Pale Kings might seek out her children. So he did. But the gusts of his thunderous hooves drowned out her name, leaving behind only the gentleness of her progeny, who, to so many, seemed to appear from nowhere. 

Thus her daughters, Priestesses of Shanta and the cursed akuji, The Pale Kings, were bound for all of eternity, representing the dying promise Shanta made to Metras that day in the glade.

The prologue of As A Stranger Or A Friend?, read the rest here!

Characters: Mariel, Axtapor Length: 64.4K words Genres: romance, fantasy, adventure, medium magic, pirates Tags: aasoaf, aasoaf1, aasoaf lore, meta aasoaf lore, aasoaf feels, mariel, axtapor

[justjessame]

The Deal Chapter 63

Jocelyn, Michonne’s friend, has a group with many kids. It seems odd to me, so many children, without as many adults, but who am I to judge? I see their eyes land on my bump, Michonne’s bump, and Daryl’s protective nature. I feel the cold chill I normally get when someone I love is in danger, but they all seem so normal. Survivors, by nature, are watchful. It’s what keeps them alive. At least that’s what I tell myself over and over.

Judith and our other young ones, kids I’ve helped teach and read to, have a bonfire and sleepover with the newcomers. Innocent, or so it seems. Why then, as Daryl sleeps comfortably next to me, can’t I let the chill be overcome by his warm? Why can’t I fall off to sleep too?

I tell myself, as I creep down the hallway and out the front door, that I’m only going to make sure that Judith has fallen asleep in the company of these strangers. It’s when I’m getting closer that I feel a sharp pain in my head and then darkness takes me under.

When I come to, I’m in the infirmary. The pain is terrible. From my head down to my toes and I can’t seem to move. What the literal fuck? And then I realize that I feel no movement from my baby. Nothing. Usually when I first wake up, or when I’m coming awake, the baby is so active that I feel like I’m going to pee myself. Nothing. And I remember going to check on Judith and the world spins and I feel like I’m going to throw up.

“Hey,” I guess I moved, flinched or groaned. It’s Michonne, and she’s holding tight to my hand. “You’re awake.”

“What happened?” My voice is hoarse and dry. “Why am I in the infirmary?”

She sighs, grabbing a cup of water from the side table and helping me sit up. I realize that my bump, usually so full and active is still so horribly quiet. “Jocelyn, her people, they-” She took a deep breath and after I drank helped me lay back down. “They took the children.” I tried to sit back up. “No, Jessi, it’s fine. We got everyone back.” But I can see, in the way she won’t meet my eyes that something is wrong.

“Judith?” My voice broke, my fear so very strong.

“She’s fine, Jessi.” I saw Michonne swallow hard. “They killed one of ours, and left you-” I waited, wondering if-

“Daryl.” My voice was a breath. If it wasn’t Judith, then Daryl. He was one of ours. Did they murder him?

She shook her head and took my hand in hers. “No, honey, not Daryl.” I was confused. Then what was so terrible that she couldn’t look at me? “It’s your baby.” My baby?

I felt my heart clench and I knew. It wasn’t moving. “My baby?” I felt my eyes sting. “Mom?”

Michonne finally looked into my face and I saw it. The pain of loss, a pain she knew. Her eyes were shining with tears. “Siddiq, he realized yesterday, when we brought you in.” Yesterday? Fuck. “He’s going to have to help you-”

I was gasping for air. “Where’s Daryl?” And then I saw him, in the doorway, holding Judith. “I’m sorry.” The tears were blurring my eyes. I was sobbing. I’d done it. I’d failed so terribly at the ONE thing we both wanted. “I’m sorry.”

Daryl handed Judith to Michonne and pulled me upright into his arms. “It’s OK, Jessi, we can try again.” He was kissing my hair, promising me that this wasn’t our only shot at our family.

It was our only shot. If I’d lost my baby during the time before, there would have been a way to induce my labor. I would have been able to give birth, naturally, and no harm no foul. This wasn’t the time before. And Siddiq, while a great medic, was NOT a OB/GYN with a full arsenal of medication at his disposal.

I ended up having a flash of Lori’s fear and death. Somehow, my baby did not turn, perhaps babies are slower in turning? Perhaps I got insanely lucky. What I wasn’t lucky in was having a cesarean that didn’t end in at least partial tragedy. My tragedy wasn’t death. It was simply an end to my ability to have children.

I will not go back through the pain of having that surgery performed. I will not graphically recall the blood and the fear and the pain. I won’t allow myself to remember finding out that Siddiq hadn’t been completely successful and that I would never get to have a child by Daryl, or anyone for that matter.

I survived. My baby didn’t. A tiny girl whose brain had to be pierced just in case. A little girl that would never play in Alexandria, never be given a piggy back ride by me or her daddy, a little girl that I couldn’t even name because my pain was so overwhelming.

Once I was well enough to move, I walked carefully back through Alexandria, a fog of grief and barely noticed anyone or their expressions. I made my way back to the house I shared with Michonne, Daryl, and Judith. I walked to my room, and I tried to focus on Judith’s gift of a painting. Me, Uncle Daryl, Mom, and was that Negan?

“Judith,” I pulled her carefully onto my lap, since I was still in pain. “Who is this?” I pointed to the bearded man that was on the other side of my colorful self.

“Negan.” She said, snuggling into my chest. Which also ached, because my milk hasn't dried up yet. “He make you feel better.”

I closed my eyes and felt my chest tighten. “He does?”

She nodded, and sighed. “Was scared.” She whispered and I kissed her curls. “Mommy was bloody.” Oh God. “All over. You weren’t there.” I felt my eyes start to burn. “Uncle Daryl and Mommy not tell me what happened.”

Damn it. “I’m sorry, baby.” I tried to rock her, but pain flashed through my body. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“You were asleep on the road.” Fuck, she’d seen. “I wanted to see you, but they not let me.”

My eyes closed again. “You’re safe now, Jude. You’re safe.”

She tilted her face up to look at me. “You sad. Uncle Daryl said-” I saw her look at where my baby had once cradled inside of me. Her tiny hand touched it gently. “No more baby?”

I was crying and hugging her to me when Michonne and Daryl came to the doorway. “Judith, sweetheart, let’s let Jessi rest?” Mom offered, walking over and picking her up. “We love you, honey.” She was looking at me and I nodded, pushing Judith’s painting onto the side table.

She walked out with Judith blowing me a kiss and telling me she loved me. Daryl was leaning against the wall beside the door. “Get some rest, Jessi.” I sighed, and started to lay down. “I’m gonna go back to searching.” I closed my eyes and knew, even as he was saying it, that he didn’t want to be here with me. Not now. “Maybe I can find-”

I nodded, rolling over so he was confronted with my back. “OK, be safe.” I couldn’t offer more. Not now. Not after failing so spectacularly.

“I love you.” He said quietly and I nodded. If you loved me, I wanted to scream, then you’d stay. But I didn’t. He needed time to grieve in his own way. And being alone was Daryl’s way.

“Me too,” I offered, but I wasn’t sure he’d waited. Or if he’d heard.

I healed. Physically, and as mentally as I could. I had to. Mom was growing closer to her due date, and I had to be there to help. I wanted to be there. I’d watched Judith be born, traumatizing though it was, and I wanted to see my newest sibling come into this world.

Daryl was seen less and less. We drifted further and further apart. And between the grief I felt over the loss of our baby, the excitement I allowed to take its place in part at the impending arrival of Mom’s baby, I didn’t get to visit Negan.

My little brother, Rick Grimes Jr came into this world with a lusty scream and I swore that I could see Dad and Carl in his tiny face. I see Michonne, and my heart nearly explodes with love. He doesn’t replace my little girl, but he’s wonderful.

I’m walking home, after his birth, when I decide that it’s time to see Negan. The guard barely looks at me and I go inside, the darkness of his cell pisses me off. Light isn’t a luxury, so he should have some. I’ll have to talk to Mom about it later.

“Come to show me your little one?” His voice, sounding hoarse from disuse, is quiet. My heart pounds at the reminder of my loss, but I can’t be angry with him for not knowing. I am appreciative that no one told him.

“No.” I answer sadly, taking the single hard chair and moving it closer to his cell. “I don’t think you can see the cemetery from here.”

“Cemetery?” He takes in my appearance in the dimness. “Oh, Jessi, no.” Strange, he sounds like he cares. As though he feels the pain I feel. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He’s moved so he’s standing at the bars, his hands reaching through, but I don’t take them.

“Yeah, I-” I feel a sob building and force it down. Today is a happy day, I remind myself, think of little RJ. “She didn’t make it.” I take a deep breath. “My new baby brother did.” I smile, remembering his tiny fist. “There’s a new Rick Grimes in town.”

Negan kneels on the hard floor and looks up at me. “Sweetheart, let’s go back to the baby.” I shake my head. No, I won’t. “You need to talk about it.” Shit, why? “Tell me.”

And I do. What I’ve pieced together about the night Jocelyn’s people kidnapped Judith and the others. About the head wound they gave me, about being found JUST in time to save me, but not the baby. How my little sister and the other kids, including one of Jocelyn's group was saved. About my cesarean operation and the resulting damage. And how, even after all that, I wanted to just think about RJ and Judith.

“Where’s Daryl?” It was quiet, but loaded. “Why isn’t he here, making sure you’re talking?”

“He suffered a loss too, Negan.” It sounded lame, but it was true. “Daryl does better on his own to process.”

He nodded, sensing no doubt that I wasn’t in the mood to rehash his feelings on Daryl’s failures where I was concerned. “I can’t have kids either.” It was quiet, but just as pained as how I felt when I learned that my hopes were gone. “Lucille and I tried, and tried. Nothing. I shoot blanks.”

“Why did the wife-” It was weird, but I was curious about the pregnancy test I’d seen, which led me to Alexandria’s cache of tests.

“Sherry.” He nodded. “She, before she agreed to-” He sighed. “Her and Dwight-”

“Oh.” They’d run off together, but I’d assumed, god knew what. “Guess we’re a sad pair.” I gave a dark chuckle. “Both genetic dead ends.”

Negan shook his head. “No. We can’t make babies, Jessi, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make an impact.” I snorted. “OK, not necessarily the best fucking impacts in my case, but you, oh, Jessica Grimes, you are more than fucking remarkable.”

I felt better, slightly, by the time I’d kissed him goodbye and walked home. Judith came rushing to greet me, and I told her all about RJ and how she could meet him the next day. Smiling at the woman who’d stayed with her while I was with Michonne, trying hard to ignore the pity I could see in her eyes, I closed the front door and got us both some dinner.

[marshmallowprotection]

I’m so sorry this is long, it’s not that good but I just started writing and suddenly it was an hour and a half later. This is based off of one of your posts. Tw violence

‘You can do this bora, just breathe, everything is going fine, the party is running smoothly, everyone is here, it’s just a small speech, a small speech in front of everyone, in front of flashing cameras, in front of the reporters, in front of dad’s business partners. No biggie, it izzz what it izzz. ‘ bora thought to herself

“ Bora, sweetie? You okay?” She heard the ever so familiar voice, zen, with jumin close behind him.

“ I’m okay, everything is going smoothly, I have everything under control” bora says mustering up her best smile,’ please please believe me. ‘

“ Duckling, it’s okay to be nervous, everyone has these moments, “ jumin says, handing his daughter a bottle of water, one of those flavored waters, it’s one of the ways to make her drink more water.

“ I’m fine, really, but thank you for checking up on me,” please please buy this act, please, taking the water bottle from jumin, bora takes small sips, trying to slow her beating heart.

“ Bora, a lot of people get nervous when they’re doing public speaking, even musical actors,”

“ do you get nervous Zen?”

“ well not exactly but I know coworkers that get nervous ,” zen says

“ thanks. It’s time for me to go up there, wish my luck,” bora says hastily retreating.

‘You got this bora, you can do this, just picture your brother in the crowd, just picture you’re talking to him, or dad, or Elizabeth, you can do this! ‘

Walking into the stage, up to the mic and podium she can feel hundreds of eyes on her, the bright flashes of cameras are nerve racking, but she can see the rfa giving her thumbs up in the back.

It’s now or never bora,” Hello, I’m Bora Han, I have spoken to most of you through emails, and is like to thank everyone for coming out to help raise funds for runaway kids on the streets,” you’re doing well so far, you got this,” this cause is one very near and dear to me, I was a runaway before meeting everyone in the rfa, if it wasn’t for them, I don’t know where I’d be now, and cause of them, I have a family who loves me just as much as I love them,” crap, don’t tear up now, “ id like to thank everyone in the rfa for making this party a reality, and I’d like to thank everyone who took time out of their schedules to come support this cause-“ out of the corner of her eye, she saw a head of familiar hair, that bleached head of hair on that pale body, no, please no, not here, not now, not him, please no! Fuck, it’s probably not him, just get back to the speech, fuck is the room spinning? Was it always this blurry, god why is the room running out of air,” thank you again, everyone, I hope you all enjoy yourselves,” bora says, carefully making her way backstage, but once she is alone, her legs give out, her throat feels like it’s closing up, everything is spinning.

“ I thought that speech was lovely, too bad that the rfa manipulated you into believing they care about you,” that familiar voice says, as the sound of heavy footsteps grows louder , until she sees a pair of boot right near her curled up figure on the floor. Feeling a cold hand grip her chin and yank it to face him, those cold eyes meeting hers,”but at paradise, you will be loved, you will be safe, are you sick of being hurt?”

‘Do not let him win bora, get your breathing under control, fuck! ‘

“They do care about me,” spitting in this face felt good, but the slap that followed hurt like a bitch.

“ you little brat!” Unknown says, yanking her up off her feet, dragging her towards the emergency exit.

“ HEL-“ bora began to scream until a rag was shoved in her mouth, along with a hand over her mouth, keeping the rag in.

Dragging the tiny girl out of the building was harder than expected, that child is fucking feral, unknown though to himself. Sure he now has a couple of scratches and bruises but nothing too bad, the savior will be happy once bora arrives, then he can get started on hurting that ‘charity’ organization.

No, dad! Luciel! Zen! Jaehee! Yoosung! Please help! Bora screams for help were muffled by the rag in her mouth, struggling as hard as she can, bora stomps on unknown’s foot, making him drop her, taking off running bora begins to scream bloody murder.

She feels something grab her ankle, falling onto the ground, bora begins to kick and scream, grabbing at his hair, scratching and yelling until she feels a hand around her throat, feeling her airway being constricted bora cries out one more time.

Bora gasps for breath, her vision getting black spots.

Until she feels the weight being suddenly lifted up off of her, she hears screaming and thuds. Feeling a pair of hands gently stroke her hair, “ hey hey bora, please open your eyes, please,” a voice says as the smell of honey Buddha chips floods her senses.

“ seven?” Bora asks, her voice is strained, sitting up she ignored his concerns and swatting the hands that try to pay her back down. “ where is he? Did he get away? “ bora asks frantically, her voice cracking as she hears more footsteps move closer.

“ he got away duckling, I’m so sorry,” you’re a dirty liar Saeyong, how could you let your own brother get this bad. You’re such a liar, how can you look her in the eye and tell her he got away when he is in the trunk of your car, passed out. He thought to himself as jumin and zen run out, the rage in their eyes would be enough to scare even him.

“ bora, bora are you okay? That’s a dumb question, seven what happened?” Zen is the first to talk, jumin can only look at bora in horror, he failed to protect her again, a failure as a father, I don’t even deserve to call myself her father if I can’t protect her from this threat. Jumin thought you himself as he drapes his suit jacket around bora’s shoulders, and looking her over for any obvious, serious injuries.

Seeing that she isn’t severely injured, at lest not physically, jumin just hugs her tightly, as bora cries herself to sleep, hearing seven try to explain what happened. Knowing that there is going to be many questions that she’ll need to answer when she wakes up, but right now she needs to be with her dad, who is rocking her gently, sitting on the dirty floor whispering in her ear how sorry he is, and trying to distract her, resorting to him calling the car over, and heading home early, zen looks at him and assured him that everything will be taken care of, and that the rfa will take care of everything, “ just focus on her, please, just focus if helping her,” zen says and the door closes.

- Submission

I must commend you for your use of pacing here, you kept me on my toes for a long moment as I tried to discern where you were going to take this situation and I wasn't quite surprised by the end of it. It isn't how I imagined it but I do like the turn that you took at the end. Seven would very well hide his brother if he got the chance because he knows that if he doesn't no matter what friendship and family that he has with the RFA will do him no good. I mentioned that in her Arc he does come clean about everything that is Luciel Choi to everyone after this incident, but you've burned a deeper thought.

If he did this, it would be difficult to fix the broken bond between them. At least in the secret ends originally when this happened he had a moment of hesitation and when he saw his brother covered his blood it sort of broke something in him; This, however, doesn't have that as his brother chose to defend Bora instead, once again proving that he'll put everything before his brother. So assuredly, that would be a lot of angst to think about.

It is a very chaotic moment and a turning point for everything in her Arc as everything seems to come full circle. Seven and Yoosung got a lot of information from Mint Eye, but Yoosung knows the secret, and they can't hide it. Seven has no choice but to tell them what he knows and what he doesn't know. It starts their full blown effort to take down Mint Eye.

Your take did make me smile, if a bit bittersweetly.

[hailaphrodite]

Dreamlike Dispatch 5 of 9

See Recap One for a complete note, but TL;DR SPOILERS FOR ZHU YILONG’S PARTS OF GRANTING YOU A DREAMLIKE LIFE.

See tags for a TRIGGER WARNING.

Recap One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine

So when I'm right, I'm right, and the best friend has indeed returned as an Evil Cop. Turns out his dad is straight-up THE POLICE COMMISSIONER??? (This was probably not the big reveal it was for me for any other viewer, lol) but also very much a gangster, so he's like son, I'm glad you're home from cop school, please pick any cop job you want, and the best friend is like, I would like to be the cop in charge please. So his new thing is wandering through town with a bunch of cops/thugs terrorizing Zhu Yilong and/or the girl with no consequences!!! What a fun time for everyone!!!

He invades the dance club, where the main girl is a dancer now (it's a long story), and he goads Zhu Yilong (who is STILL trying to call him brother, kill me) into flipping him to the ground, at which point ALL OF THE COPS DRAW RIFLES ON ZHU YILONG, and the best friend (man I wish I'd picked a different identifier for him) says a bunch of horrible shit about how Zhu Yilong is a bad person and brainwashing the girl and how he's just here to prove who is stronger or whatever, resulting in a bunch of classic, 100% strength Zhu Yilong Faces.

me, feverishly screencapping this scene: yes, this one's painful enough

THESE TWO PEOPLE USED TO SLEEP TOGETHER. HOW DID WE GET HERE, I HATE IT.

The friend has some cops wrestle Zhu Yilong to the ground and pin him down, a development I DON'T hate, listen I am who I am, and the girl gets in front of him like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING, and Zhu Yilong yells for her to run away in a "my life doesn't matter, no one has ever loved me so this is normal and you, a person worthy of love, should run away and find some" kind of way that makes me want to die and is very WWX of him to be honest.

But the best friend decides he can't shoot the girl, so this has all just been a warning and he'll leave now. I exhale a GIANT BREATH I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS HOLDING, JESUS.

The next horrible traumatic thing to happen is that the girl's adoptive-but-she-thought-it-was-biological brother has NOT been doing well in the wake of his failure to marry his own sister at his father's lifelong behest, so he's been drinking himself into oblivion every day, like you do. On this particular drunken occasion he tries to force himself on the girl (me: GOD, WHY. WHY, GOD) until Zhu Yilong bursts into their apartment and kicks the shit out of him.

Zhu Yilong in sexy I'll-fucking-kill-you mode (he's holding a knife out of frame btw):

The brother, who I've always hated despite only ever having seen him onscreen for a few seconds at a time, leaves sniveling and bloody. BOY, BYE. Zhu Yilong reaches out to touch the girl's shoulder, but she flinches away from him (OBVIOUSLY) so he tells her he's going to sit outside her door until morning so she won't be alone but doesn't have to see anybody. He sits on her stoop and has a quiet meltdown:

The next day, he moves into her apartment so she'll have protection (HONEY, NO). We now transition whiplash-fast to some romcom stuff of them being roommates.

More to come.

Recap One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine

[peachwizard]

Giving Up

Request:  Hi! Can you a sis fic based kind of like 11x12 in which the reader is staying with Jody, Claire and Alex because she screwed up a few hunts and when Sam and Dean come they see she is sad because she doesn’t have many friends and gave up hunting because Dean told her she was bad at it? Just basically really fluffy and angsty. Maybe she ends up saving Sam and Dean? I know it’s kinda long but I hope you take it into account :)) @newyorkrebel

A/N: As always, sorry for being dead to the world. I literally have hardly any free time and the free time I do have I don’t have the inspiration to write. Would love your feedback if you have any to give! Thanks guys I appreciate you for sticking with me even though I’m not a frequent writer. 

Characters: Sister!Reader, Dean, Sam, Claire (mentioned), Alex (mentioned), Jody, John (mentioned)

Warnings: swearing, angst, violence, arguing, self doubt/harsh words about self to self?, Dean being mean, fluff, mention of death but no dying.. I think that’s it, as always let me know if I missed anything

Tagging: @winchesters-favorite-girl @mycuddlycorner @percussiongirl2017 @wonderange @leenasleena-blog @tolaughistolove  If you wanna be added/removed let me know!

You were laying in bed with your headphones on, blocking out the world, listening to your favorite song that helped you forget how much your life sucked right now. You were thankful that Claire wasn’t in the room you both shared and both frequented, since you had a somewhat similar outlook on life. Pushed away and abandoned by those you cared about most, and hating your life. You had one difference, and that was that you no longer wanted to hunt, whereas Claire wanted to hunt more than anything, in fact, that’s where she was right now, investigating for a possible hunt. You figured that Claire only wanted to hunt because no one told her she sucked at it. She was a good hunter for sure, and you thought you were, but according to your brothers, who you loved more than anything, you were no good.

You had just finished a hunt, four ghosts were all haunting a recently renovated hotel, and all three of you left with a fair share of scratches, cuts, and bruises. Although you were fine, all of the people were not. One person, the hotel manager, a really nice but ignorant young man, was killed in your final battle to salt and burn the ghosts.

They all were buried in the back of the hotel, and he came out to yell at you for digging up their nice new garden. You tried to save him, but not every ending was a happy one. It wouldn’t have been so bad, people die on the job all the time, you can’t get attached, except that Dean was yelling at you and blaming you for it. For as often as he told you not to get attached, he was a bit of a hypocrite.

You, of course, were not going to sit there and take your moron older brother yelling at you for no reason, so you started fighting back. You and Dean were almost exactly alike, just as stubborn and hotheaded as the other. You went back and forth all the time, just shouting nonsense at each other until Sam broke it up and you both calmed down and apologized to each other on the long ride back to the bunker, however, this time was different.

Instead of you being cut off by Sam’s insistence to shut up because you were giving him a headache, you were cut off by Dean’s harsh words, you could hear them over and over again in your head every moment of the day since he said them, “Yeah well we would never have the problem of people dying or us ever screwing up a case if Y/N didn’t suck and wasn’t such a goddamn terrible hunter! You make the Winchester name a disappointment.”

After that the three of you were silent on the car ride back to the bunker, you waited for the boys to pass out, packed a bag, wrote a note, and high tailed it out to Jody’s. Maybe if you couldn’t hunt you could be better at normal life. Or at least that’s what you thought. Being with Jody for a few months now, you had attended a normal high school and literally had no friends. You were just some freak girl that came in the middle of the year and had a weird liking for flannel, even when it was too hot to wear.

It also didn’t help that you had the IQ of a squirrel. You may have gotten Sammy’s puppy dog eyes and bitch face, but you most certainly did not get his brain. Every class you took you were horrible in, it was a good thing you were home schooled by Sam and didn’t go to actual school before this, because you definitely would have failed out.

You heard the door open and close and voices that were not what you were used to hearing, so you took out your headphones and looked down the stairs, only to hear and get a glimpse of your two older brothers. All you could manage to think was that it had been months and they only came to see you now. They tried calling and texting you and Jody, but you would never answer and refused to talk when Jody tried to make you. You figured if they really wanted you they would come get you, and you figured out soon enough that they did not really want you. You figured that Sam agreed with what Dean said, and they both thought you were a bad hunter.

Upon further listening, you realized they didn’t actually come to see you. There was a hunt nearby and were asking if Jody and Claire would come help. JODY and CLAIRE. They didn’t even want to talk to you, they didn’t want your help on any hunts, they really just didn’t want you at all. You went back to your room and locked the door, you didn’t want to hear anymore of the conversation.

You stayed locked in your room the first two days the boys were around except to sneak down to grab some food when you got hungry. They would come and knock on the door occasionally and you would give them the silent treatment as they tried to talk to you through the door. You didn’t want to hear their pathetic excuses, so when you started to feel like you just might go open it, you put your headphones in to drown out their voices.

The third night you heard your brothers go out back to check whatever they supposedly had heard, then you heard Jody shouting their names and rushing out after them. That couldn’t be good. From overhearing their conversations downstairs the past three days, you knew that they were hunting werewolves. Well at least they were, it seemed that now the werewolves were hunting them.

You reached under your bed where you kept your duffel filled with all of your weapons, including the gun your dad bought for you, and the silver knife from Dean. You loaded the gun with silver bullets and strapped the knife to your thigh and ran down the stairs as quickly, but as quietly as you could.

Through the open back door you could see your brothers and Jody on their knees with their hands tied behind their backs in front of the werewolves. From what you could see and hear, it was probably about six or seven of them. You were definitely going to die taking them on alone, but you weren’t going to sit by while your big brothers and the only woman you had ever known as a mother get massacred.

You stepped out into the open and shot the two standing in front of the open doorway, one right after the other. They clearly didn’t realize that anyone else was home or involved. When the third came rushing through the door, you shot him too. When four more came rushing at you, you panicked.

Y/N, why do you suck at hunting? Why are you a failure at the one thing that you should know how to do? Why are you such a disappointment to the Winchester name? Was all that was flooding through your head. In your hesitation, they were much closer. Oh yeah, you were gonna die. You shut down the thoughts in your head, adrenaline came rushing into your system, your basic instincts to survive took hold, you told that voice that sounded remarkably like Dean to shut the fuck up, and you managed to shoot and kill a fourth before the other three advanced on you.

You grabbed your knife and prepared for a bloody fight. You knew you were fighting, harder than you ever had. These werewolves were almost twice your size and had superhuman strength. You could feel yourself getting bruised, broken, and cut, but you kept going because you knew otherwise you would die.

You finally looked around at the bloodshed in front of you. The three werewolves lied dead in front of you just as you heard Dean, Sam, and Jody all rush in. They must have tied them together pretty well if they all just escaped now, your brothers were known for being able to get themselves out of sticky situations, but this time it appears that it could have been too late.

Suddenly, you realized all the blood over you, from head to toe. You weren’t sure what belonged to you and what belonged to the werewolves. Dean made a beeline for you and grabbed your face with both of his hands, checking to see if you were alright. He then started looking down your body for any serious injuries, and when he found none he immediately grabbed you and held you close to his body, one arm wrapped around your back and the other holding your head to the crook of his neck.

“Oh god. Sweetheart, are you alright? Taking on seven werewolves alone? Are you insane? Holy shit. You’re okay. You’re okay...” he started mumbling over and over to himself. When he pulled back you could see the tears in his eyes, which is what made you break down and pull him back into a hug. “Shhh. It’s alright. I’m here. Sammy’s here. We’re here. I’m so sorry. You did so good. You are a hell of a hunter, Y/N/N. I didn’t mean any of it, I’m so sorry.”

When you finally calmed yourself down enough you looked up at him, “I couldn’t let them kill you guys. I love you. I’m sorry I suck at hunting, Dean, and I always make everyone die.”

“Oh honey, that’s not true. You just saved all of us. You don’t suck at hunting. I was just angry and then couldn’t find the words to apologize. You are one damn good hunter. I couldn’t have killed all those werewolves myself when I was your age. I love you so much, sweetheart.”

You both rambled back and forth until Sam could tell everything was fine and then reached in and grabbed you from Dean for a hug.

“Hey, Sammy,” you smiled at him.

“Hey, Y/N. We’ve missed you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I thought you guys just didn’t want me anymore because I thought that you thought that I was a bad hunter... You never even tried to get me from Jody’s.”

“No way. You are just as good as any Winchester. We just figured that maybe with Jody you could get out of the life. That’s why we didn’t come take you back. We’re sorry. We went about it all the wrong way. We want you back with us, at least if that’s what you want.”

“Of course that’s what I want. I’ve missed you two morons like crazy.”

“Let’s get going then. Go get your stuff.”

You let Sam go and rushed up the stairs to get all your stuff from your room. While you were gone, Jody spoke to Sam and Dean, “If I ever hear that you two say anything like that again to your little sister, I am driving myself over to that bunker and letting you idiots have it. Am I understood?”

They both looked at her with caution in their eyes and nodded their heads, “Yes ma’am.”

[eurusholmmes]

Forgive Me| Chuck Shurley (II)

Previously- You went to speak to Chuck about what he saw, and he gave you a choice. Him.. or Dean. You just don’t know who to pick, and it brings you back to the door of the same motel room you spent the night in previously - and face to face with your best friend. 

Read Part One here 

Present- You and Dean talk about what the two of you are truly feeling, and you find yourself gifted with the opportunity for alone time. Memories of your time with Chuck ensue. 

Pairing: Chuck x Reader, Dean x Reader

Tag List: @internationalmusicteacher @feathersinthesky @reparo-live-soul @viviandarkbloomvd @natasha-cole @angelsandhuntersgalore @gettingbywithalittlehelp96

* If you would like to be tagged, please let me know!!

  “We need to talk.” 

 “Yeah, I think we do.” 

Night had now fallen outside your window as you and Dean sat across from each other on the bed. Your damp hair, fresh from your shower, hung in your eyes as Dean traced his fingers along your calf. Sam knew the moment you came back with the Impala keys in your fingers that it was most likely best that he not be there for the impending conversation between the two of you. 

  “Where did you take Baby, y/n?” Dean asked quietly. “And why did you sneak out of here? Was-Did you regret last night?” The break in his voice is something you very rarely hear; a brief moment of vulnerability as he waits for your seemingly inevitable rejection. 

  “Dean,” You murmured, leaning forward and cupping his jaw in your hand. A small smile spread across your face as he leaned into your touch and lightly rested his hand on top of your own. “I don’t regret one second of what happened last night-” 

  “Then answer the question honestly.” He replied firmly. “Where did you take my Baby?” 

You inhaled deeply and allowed your eyes to flutter shut. The moment you were gazing at your eyelids, the blurred picture you were staring at slowly began to focus, and you found yourself staring at Chuck. He was smiling from ear-to-ear as you strummed to the chords of Fare Thee Well, one of his favorite songs that he’d taken the entire night to teach you. 

  “I went to Chucks house.” You said softly, opening your eyes to meet Deans penetrating emerald irises. “He messaged me this morning and said he had a vision about us. I assumed that was it.. But I’m sure he’s seen what comes after with-” Your eyes snapped down to the brand on his arm, which was a glaring red as it seemed to taunt you endlessly. “That.” 

  “You’re one of the few people I let behind the walls. The one I don’t have to be a soldier for, where I can just be Dean Winchester. I’m desperately trying to not let the Mark control me. What happened last night, that was entirely me. I’ve been wanting to do that since the first time I almost lost you.” Dean said. You couldn’t find it in you to tear your eyes away from him, almost afraid that if you were to look away, the Dean Winchester you’d come to know would fade away. 

And the husk that was left would take his place. 

  “I came back here to talk to you about what you want.” There it was - the statement you’d been dreading to speak audibly since you’d left Chucks house that morning. “About what I want.” Dean gently lifted your hand from his leg and spread your fingers outward, lips pressed together as your hand perfectly aligned with his own. Gods.. his hands were so warm. “I thought about it the entire way back from there. It’s so hard to choose between a man of honor and a man of loyalty. I have loved you and Sam since we met-” Your sentence cut off as tears brimmed your eyes, forcing you to resort to tipping your head backward in order for them to recede. “But I never thought it would come to this, me loving you this way. It’s so friggin’ hard because I.. I love you and I love Chuck.” 

Dean slowly exhaled through his nose and brought your chin downward, pulling your legs to part on either side of his own as he rested his forehead against yours. Your heart skipped a beat as you felt his breath ghost over your lips, sending a shiver down your spine as you guided his hands to rest against the curve of your hips. “It comes down to a choice, y/n.” He whispered. “Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? Who do you want?” 

The warmth that cocooned your body dissipated as Dean stood to his feet, snatching his car keys and camo jacket before making his way to the door. You watched with a longing expression as he stared at you, flashing a seductive grin and winking before making his way out the door. 

It was the first time you’d been alone in weeks. So, you outstretched your body on the bed, and allowed yourself to fall into your memories. 

  “So, what’s this song that you wrote called?” You murmured, downing the last of your whiskey as Chuck crossed the room to retrieve his guitar. It was just about daylight, the soft golds of the rising sun casting a shadow across the walls of the living room. 

  “Fare Thee Well. If we’re gonna stay up all night talking, I’m gonna teach you something useful.” He replied. You sat on his lap and allowed him to wrap his fingers around the neck, softly plucking out the first few chords to the song. “This song is very special to me. It’s about a woman I.. A woman I lost.” 

  “Well if that’s the case, I want to hear it first before my failure to play it.” You replied sarcastically, removing yourself from his lap and sitting in the chair across from him. You rested your chin in your hands as Chuck finished tuning the guitar and began to strum the opening chords. Blue eyes intently focused on you, you allowed your eyes to sweep over his soft expression before he parted his lips and began to sing. 

If I had wings

Like Noah’s dove

I’d fly up the river to the one I love

You couldn’t help but watch in awe as his powerful voice shattered the silence. Who were you to know that such a timid man had such a gift for beautiful music? 

Fare thee well, O Honey

Fare thee well 

Whether or not it was five minutes or hours by the time he had finished, you weren’t sure. You were more focused on the heaving of his toned chest beneath his teeshirt and the intent fixation of his eyes on you then anything else. “Who was it about?” 

  “That’s the beauty of the song, y/n.” He replied, motioning you over. You swallowed thickly and sat on his lap, immediately feeling the tension leave your body as you settled back against his chest. “Telling you takes away from the intimacy of the secret.” Chuck turned his head just a fraction, his lips catching your temple as your head fell on his shoulder. “It’s about a very special woman. A remarkable woman with the power to rule the Universe, more beautiful then any galaxy, more important to me then my own life.” 

He’d never tell you. Why would he? He was nothing more then a prophet; an awkward, meek prophet who had no chance of ever being with a woman like yourself, especially with Dean Winchester as your best friend. 

That was the first time you had really noticed just how beautiful of a soul Chuck Shurley had. He was soft and tender, incredibly respectful of your boundaries, and never moved to push you further then you wanted to be pushed. He was.. He was so loyal to you. A true man of honor - and not only that, but he was the type of man you wanted to be with for the rest of your life. 

Part of you felt obligated to Dean Winchester-  mostly because he’d never known the kind of unconditional love like you’d shown him and Sam upon first meeting. He had thought once upon a time that you were insane for trusting them so quickly - only to later save them from an angel that was gunning to kill Castiel. 

And now with Dean bearing the Mark of Cain, you were moreso obligated to be sure that he didn’t hurt anybody he loved. Cas, Sam, you. He would never forgive himself if he hurt you; whether or not it was physically or emotionally. That was also why you hadn’t immediately gone running back to Chuck. 

Because if you did, Dean would no longer no unconditional love. And that alone would be enough to drive him mad, forcing him deeper into the darkness that came with bearing the Mark. 

  Do you love him?

  Or do you feel as if you have to love him? 

You groaned out of annoyance and ran your hands over your face, and found yourself pulled into a very precious memory of an early hunt with Dean. 

It was the middle of a bitter January winter. You and Team Free Will had just exterminated a group of demons preying on a small town; bloodied and beaten, Castiel had opted to take you back to the motel while Dean drove Sam in the Impala. Your boots crunched against the newly fallen snow as Castiel unhooked his arm from your waist and unlocked the motel door. 

  “You are shivering. Are you alright?” Cas questioned, tilting his head in that confused fashion you often found adorable as you managed a weak nod. “According to Dean, it is 32 degrees outside.” 

  “That’s below freezing, Cassie.” You replied, rubbing your hands up and down your arms. “Humans don’t do ell with cold, and it seems like the boys have gotten the crappiest motel possible. There’s almost no heat.” Dean brought Sam into the room and allowed the younger Winchester to collapse on the bed before he threw your three duffel bags onto the floor. 

  “That’s what body heat is for, darling.” Dean retorted. You quirked an eyebrow as Sam brought himself to his feet and padded towards the bathroom, leaving you alone with his older brother seeing as Cas had left for the store, intent on finding warmer clothes for you. “That angel is ridiculous.” 

  “That angel is your best friend, and I happen to think he’s quite adorable, thank you very much.” You replied. Silence ensued as Dean laid out on the bigger bed and stared at you, almost as if he was waiting. “What?” 

  “You said you were cold.” He said softly, arms open wide and beckoning you to fall into them. Blush spread across your cheeks as you crawled onto the mattress and settled into his arms, groaning as your body was encased in warmth. “Chuck sweetheart, you are freezing.” 

  “You’re so warm.” You whined, tucking your head beneath his chin and spreading your hand out against his chest. Dean swallowed thickly and wrapped his arms around your form, suddenly overwhelmed with an urge to never let you go. Dean hummed quietly under his breath, almost quiet enough for you to not hear him as his fingers gently threaded through your hair. “Hey.” 

  “Yeah?” He replied sleepily, eyelids fluttering shut as you tucked your knees underneath you. 

  “Don’t ever let me go.” 

Your eyes snapped open to Castiel standing in front of you, clad in trench coat and blue eyes narrowed as you slowly sat up at the waist. “Wow, you are fantastic at impromptu entrances.” You muttered. “What are you doing here, Castiel?” 

The fallen Seraph sat down beside you and lightly squeezed your hand. A reassurance that you weren’t alone in the inner battle currently taking place in your mind. “You are a smart, strong, independent woman with a very compassionate heart y/n. I am certain that you will make the right choice.” And with that, he was gone, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

  “Please.. please help me make the right choice.” You lifted your voice in a desperate prayer. You wanted nothing more then to feel that happiness that hunting didn’t allow - to feel as if you had a reason to live.

***

After a long night of no sleep and walking to clear your head, you arrived on the familiar doorstep. The air nipped at your skin as you tightened your flannel around your body and rapped your fist against the door, grinning widely when his face greeted you. 

  “I see you made your choice.” He replied cooly, his laughter emanating against the silence of the morning as he wrapped his arms around your waist and spun the two of you around. Missing puzzle pieces - finally fitting together to make one perfect picture. 

  “Yes sir.” You whispered, lips gently brushing against his own. “And it was a good one.” 

But that’s the real question here - Did you make the right choice? And would your choice cost you, in the end? 

I never meant for this

To get so out of hand

But he lied to me

And he told me that you’d never understand... 

[cas-backwards-tie]

When You Look Me In The Eyes

Sam x Reader

Request: could you maybe do a song fic? of when you look me in the eyes by the jonas brothers (im sorry w.w) sam x reader?

Warnings: Angst, Loneliness, Demons, Death, Depression (Not Directly Mentioned)

Author’s Note: I’m sorry it took so long for me to get this posted, and there’s no excuses for that. Right now I’m on a Home Visit, so i have time to post this :) I hope you like it

Six Months Ago: 

If the heart is always search, Can you ever find a home?

This is the third place Y/N, just- let’s just hope this town works out I try and give myself a pep talk as I drive up to my new house. The past two place I’ve moved from recently- due to not feeling like I really ‘fit’ in there- the feeling seems to fade as I admire my new house: roommates- that’s a change. The house is beautiful, with an oak-wood porch and dark green exterior. Kansas: new place, new people, new experiences... Maybe this can work after all.

I try to settle into the town, get used to my new job, new boss and try to meet new people and make friends- I’ve never been very good at that I try to throw the negative thought away and replace it with something better, reminding myself that Hey, at least I’m trying.

Two Months Ago:

I’ve been looking for that someone,

I’ll never make it on my own

Bills keep wracking up, I’ve lost my job. I haven’t made any friends and I don’t know what to do! Hope seemed to be letting, but then I met him- my guardian angel (figuratively of course). I decided to do some traveling, explore the town a little more when I stumbled across a diner off to the far end of my town: Chico’s Diner. Why not? Seems adventure-y enough to me I think to myself as I decide this is where I’ll have lunch. I park my car and get out, entering the diner.

I sit down in a stool, and wait near the counter; while waiting the man next to me begins to talk to me, “What does that stand for?” He asks, pointing to my bracelet as he tilts his head a little. I give a small chuckle and explain what the letters on my bracelet stand for- eventually we’re having a full on conversation. By the time I finish my lunch I’d say we’re full on friends- proud of you I think as I mentally high-give myself for actually being social. “Will I see you again?” I ask him as I pay and get up to leave.

“Maybe. I could give you my phone number.” He offers as he writes it down and I text him, so he knows it’s me. “Now, I will see you sometime again. See you later Y/N” he departs, leaving me on my own. Content with how my day is going, I decide i’ll go into town and treat myself.

When the night ends I come home to angry roommates as I try to get them off my back about the bills, “I’ll get the money by the end of the week!” I avoid them and eventually get back into my room, feeling like a failure. I can’t even keep a job down... I feel sorry for myself before I remember my new friend; I turn on my phone and go into my text messages: Castiel. That’s the one... I figure maybe I can text him, ask him for advice. Is that too forward and too soon? We just became friends today. I figure it’s worth a shot, no use in trying, right? I mean, I can’t do everything by myself, I can’t process everything alone. 

By the end of the night Castiel and I have been texting for at least an hour or more, and I get tired, telling him we’ll talk tomorrow. As I go to put my phone away he texts back.

Castiel: Maybe you could stay at my house for a little while, I mean- there’s a lot of spare rooms, and you wouldn’t have to worry about rent. I’d have to ask my friends but I think they’d be okay with it.

I don’t respond as I don’t know how to approach the situation- friend you’ve just met a few hours ago listens to you whine and sob about your sucky job, life and roommates before offering to give you free stay in their house... Seem sketchy?

The next morning I reply to Castiel’s text;

You: I really appreciate the offer Castiel, I really do- but I don’t think I can take it. I have to pay these bills, I have to act like the adult I am. Do you wanna hang out today?

Castiel: I understand, my friends also told me that inviting random strangers to your house to live is inappropriate and flat out stupid- I told them you were not a random stranger but they insisted their answer was no. I’m sorry Y/N, but yes. I think we can do the hanging out today.

One and a Half Months Ago:

There have been instances lately that have been weird, my roommates have been acting weird- I feel like they’re hiding something. When I get back from work they’re acting sketchy and I lightly overhear them talking about the FBI and ‘what they said’, so I figure maybe someone stopped by this morning when I was gone? By nightfall I hear screaming downstairs and run towards the noise.

“Chelsea? Chelsea! What’re you doing?!” Chelsea’s walking towards Tony with a bloody knife in hand.

“Chelsea’s not here anymore” Chelsea says while smiling, I back up without being seen and watch as Chelsea keeps stalking Tony. She finally turns to an angle where I can see her eyes are completely black! Th pupil, the part that’s supposed to be white! Every part! I don’t see Sarah, so I figure she must still be downstairs- which is where they spend most of their time recently.

I quietly snoop around them and go through another hallway to get to the other side and sneak downstairs, “Sarah?” I whisper as I search for her, eventually finding her bleeding out, a pool of blood surrounding her. I notice the huge red painted satanic circle she’s lying on and gasp- Are they satan worshippers?! Oh my god! My roommates are satan worshippers- okay, breath Y/N, Sarah needs help- help her! I run to Sarah and crouch near her.

“Y/N, c-call this number. Tell them what’s happening and hide” she tries to speak, but her words come out really spaced out and mumbled with blood spilling out of her mouth. I quickly grab the little card she had in her hand and follow her instructions.

FBI: Agent Roosevelt

The card has a phone number underneath which I call and go hide in the corner, as I hear stomping coming from upstairs- Tony’s being chased! Oh shit- oh god. I try to even my breathing as someone picks up the phone- I quickly explain the situation to the agent on the phone while trying not to sound too panicked.

“We’ll be there in five” The FBI agent tells me as he hangs up. I hear Tony scream from upstairs again as I hear demonic laughter fill the hallway. Two minutes pass before I hear footsteps coming downstairs, each step creaking. I push myself further into the corner I’m hiding in- behind a bookshelf- as I feel a tear run down my cheek.

“Oh, Y/N” the voice calls out in a sing-song tone as I hear them reach the end of the stairs. A minute or so passes by before I hear more stomping upstairs- who- what the? I hope it’s the FBI I think to myself, praying as I hope Chelsea doesn’t find me before they find her.

As things get quiet I begin to calm down, I take even breaths and am hopeful that Chelsea’s finally gone, or maybe even killed herself- that girl isn’t human. I’m yanked out of the corner quickly and screaming my lungs out as a knife is pressed up to my throat and I’m put into a hold.”Stop screaming, right now!” Chelsea yells at me before she holds the knife pin-point to my throat. The stomping seems to be coming closer now, having had a mark for location somewhat pointed out.

“Who’s upstairs Y/N? Who’s u[stairs!?” Chelsea commands an answer out of me as she gently draws a couple of drops of blood from my throat.

“I don’t know! Sarah told me to call some number and tell them we needed help!” Chelsea laughs as she retracts her knife a little, giving me space and time.

“What are you?” I ask scared for my life as Chelsea quietly chuckles in my ear.

“Honey I’m a demon.” I feel goosebumps raise all over my body at the calmness in her voice; I go stiff as she says that, hoping she’s just some crazy bitch who’s tipped over the edge- but seeing her eyes peer into mine I feel like it’s true. How can it not be with those eyes?

People storm downstairs coming quickly- Chelsea tightens her grip on me again and puts the knife up to my neck in a slicing position. I whine and tears start to roll down my face rapidly. “Let her go!” I hear a strong male voice shout as he holds a rifle up to Chelsea from a few feet away at the bottom of the stairs leading back upstairs. Chelsea moves so my body is in front of her own- there’s no way this is going to end well.

As time seems to slow down I hear whispering coming from upstairs and wonder if this is all a prank, done with fake blood, fake contacts and some actors- my roommates would be that sadistic. A light comes from behind me as Chelsea drops the knife and I scream; Chelsea’s dead body lies on the ground with Castiel behind her with a weird, pointed knife in hand- I stare. “Castiel?” I take in his shocked expression before I pass out.

25 Days Ago:

Dreams can’t take the place of loving you, 

There’s gotta be a million reasons why it’s true.

After that night I was taken to ‘The Bunker’ as the boys call it. My house was destroyed, I couldn’t have paid for it, my roommates were dead and now I knew about the Supernatural world. I’ve been living with the Winchesters for a little over a month and things had been great; Castiel and I have become closer- practically best friends. Sam and I have gotten along great, we started dating almost right away having connected so well from the start. Dean is a great friend, he’s really caring and has a lot of sense and logic, he just doesn’t always see it.

Things had been going along great- Sam and I falling fast for each other, becoming serious for a pace that almost scared me; after a couple of weeks Sam had finally picked up a case in Washington, “That’s really far” I state bluntly while they’re talking it over, making everyone stop to give me a questioning look.

“It’s far, but we’ve done way further in a day’s time Y/N, it doesn’t matter how far- people are dying” Sam clarifies as he returns to Cas and his brother, planning what they needed to do. Before I knew it Sam and Dean were gone- Sam insisted that I couldn’t go because I wasn’t a ‘trained hunter’ yet, and even so- he wouldn’t want me hunting anyways. Castiel had to stay despite whining like a child and wanting to tag along, but was told to watch over me. Castiel and I made the best of our time together and did fun stuff: baked, had a movie marathon, even tried making photo albums.

Now I was finally in bed, trying to sleep- not achieving my goal as I think of Sam. The next night is the same- I dream of Sam, but can’t help feeling lonely not being able to fill the void of actually loving him, having him near.

Present:

When you look me in the eyes,

And tell me that you love me.

Everything’s alright,

When you’re right here by my side.

When Sam comes back he offers to take me out on a ‘proper’ date, and I of course oblige. Sam and I go to town and eat ice-cream, then go to the park and play Frisbee- I miss it most of the time because he tosses it so high. At the end of the night I thank Sam for the wonderful day, appreciating all the thought he put into the date. I curl up next to him, pulling the covers up a little more to burrow myself as it’s really cold. I rest my head on his chest and look up into eyes, “I love you” I kiss him gingerly. This is home I think to myself as I fall asleep against him, feeling the warmth of him actually being here, not off on some case.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How long will I be waiting

To be with you again? 

Gonna tell you that I love you,

In the best way I can.

The routine of cases, then home, then case again proceeds- as I don’t see Sam all too often. When he comes home I complain to him, and he teaches me more hunting skills ‘just in case you need it’ he trains me, making me stronger. When Sam comes back from this hunt, I’ll talk to him. Sam arrives near midnight, to which I’m still awake as I’ve always been more of a night owl anyways- which doesn’t always work out too well with Sam’s early morning runs.

Sam comes in tired, and pretty much instantly falls asleep. When I wake up the next morning, Sam is putting a tray down on his desk, “Hey, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to wake you” he apologizes as he walks over to the bed and kisses my lips softly. “I made you breakfast. I figured I’d make it up to you.”

“Make what up?” I question as I rub my eyes and fully sit up, propping myself up as Sam brings the tray over, lying it on my lap as I start to eat. Sam sits at the end of the bed as he begins to talk.

“Look, Y/N. I’m not gonna lie- it’s hard. It’s a hard job, and life to be the girlfriend of a hunter. I know I haven’t been around much and I’m sorry for that. I figure we should spend some more time together so I told Dean I’ll be taking the next couple of cases off, okay?” Sam speaks as he looks into my eyes, “I love you Y/N” I smile at his words as I blush under his gaze.

After eating a bit I tell Sam I’m going to take a shower, but think twice. I turn around and close the door, Sam looking confused as he puts the tray back down on the desk, probably going to put it in the kitchen. “I thought you said you were gonna take a shower?” He asks as his eyebrow raises.

“Yeah, but I thought better: I giggle as I walk towards him, “Sam, I want you. I want to make love to you” I say nonchalantly as I put my hands on his chest and gaze into his eyes. Sam smirks at this, catching my drift.

He leans down to kiss me passionately as he cups my face with his big hands. This is what I’ve wanted.

As Sam and I make love I can’t help feeling like this is what I’ve been missing in my life- Sam. I gasp as I think about him; “I love you” I whisper as I kiss him while he focuses on the task in front of him- Me.

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I can’t take a day without you here,

You’re the light that makes my darkness disappear.

After a month of case-free Sam, another big case is brought up during lunch. “I’ve got a case in North Dakota, it’ll be a bit of a drive buy we can be back by tomorrow morning I bet” Dean suggests the case to the crew before he gets a few nods as people are chewing and a ‘yeah’. I internally sigh knowing I’ll have to be without Sam again, even if it’s just for one day I still wish he didn’t have to go. “Alright, after lunch let’s get going” Sam replies after swallowing his bite of food, he and Dean discuss the case in more detail looking into what they’ll be walking into.

Cas and I exchange glances as I frown, not wanting to be cooped up in the bunker alone for a couple of days. As lunch finishes I take my plate into the kitchen and carefully place it into the sink, leaning against the counter I sigh. “What’s wrong?” I jump slightly as Sam touches my arm as he places his own plate in the sink. I didn’t even hear him walk in here.

I sigh again before confessing my frustration, “I just hate it when you’re gone, you know? And yeah I know that’s kind of selfish- and I know you guys are being heroes and saving people, killing things, ‘the family business’ but I just miss you, you know?” Sam nods as he listens intently to what I have to say, not cutting me off. “ I mean, sometimes it just sucks being cooped up in the Bunker for days at a time, you know? It’s dull- it get boring. And sometimes Cas can be frustrating to deal with” I relinquish my fears to Sam, putting them out in the open as he just chuckles.

“This isn’t funny Sam! I’m opening my heart to y-” Sam cuts me off before I even realize he’s done so. 

“I know! I know it’s not funny Y/N... I’m just laugh because, well, Dean and I finally agreed that we think you’ve had enough training- you can come hunt with us if you want. I mean, trust me I know how boring and dull it can be to be cooped up in here. I think this case is as small and easy as it’s gonna get for a beginner, so, why not? I mean I can’t stop you from hunting anyways. And what’s the use of preparing you and training you for something like killing a monster if you can’t do it in the moment?  You have to have experience” I pump my fist a little as I whisper a small ‘yes’, making Sam laugh. “Stop being such a dork about it” he teases as he pushes my shoulder a bit.

“Hey, what can I say? I’ve never really seen my boyfriend in action before- I’m just curious. And a little excited, yes” I laugh as I rush off, ready to pack. 

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More and more I start to realize, 

I can reach my tomorrow, 

I can hold my head up high,

And it’s all because you’re by my side.

After my first hunt I was a little scarred to say the least- I always felt like I knew from movies and tv how seeing a dead body or seeing someone die in front of you would affect you, but now I really know- and it’s nothing like the movies, I can say for a fact that it’s not nice...

I kind of became numb and a little closed off- not to mention distant. Sam has been my light- my hope; I sigh and lie back down in bed, “Y/N, come on. You have to get up, you have to get back on your feet because if you don’t then I don’t know what I’ll do- okay?” Sam confides to me as he rubs my back soothingly. I mumble a ‘Mmmhmm’ from under the covers, and roll over knowing what he’s saying is right- plus I never wanted to put Sam in this position.

Sam stays with me the whole time, even getting in the bath with me. It’s not romantic, or awkward or even silly... It’s just calm.

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When I hold you in my arms,

I know that it’s forever.

I just gotta let you know,

I never wanna let you go.

As Sam and I take a break from hunting we lie in bed- a weekend all to ourselves! I think as I silently yell ‘score’ in my head. Sam and I cuddle in bed as we watch some new superhero movie that I haven’t really been paying attention to. I play with Sam’s hair- finding it absolutely fascinating at the moment- inspecting all the strands and twirling them between my fingers, letting them go and blowing them away just for entertainment.

“I take it you don’t like the movie?” Sam asks with a half-smile on his face as he looks down to me. I look up, my head having been on his chest as I mumble a ‘yeah, I guess’ before looking to see what was even going on in the movie- a sex scene- how great... I wish that could be us right now I think to myself as Sam looks to the screen, noticing my attention has faded from him and chuckles a little, which causes his chest to reverberate and make my head bounce a little.

“So now you’re interested in the movie, huh?” He laughs as he runs his fingers through my hair. Sam’s thoughts drift off as I look up at him, watching him intently again- he’s so beautiful, I just wish he could see it more often.

“I don’t know Sam, maybe I was distracted, and just thought about how much I wish you were pleasing me like that right now” I tease, referring to the movie as I run my hand across his chest and hug him from his side.

“Y/N, come on” Sam says in a tone that tells me he’s obviously not in the mood right now. I mumble a quick, exaggerated ‘sorry’ as I hide my face in his chest before Sam brushes my hair out of my face. “I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just- I’m trying to be serious right now... I’m thinking” he murmurs as his forehead creases in thought.

“Bout’ what?” I mumble as I kiss his neck, continuing to relish in the comfortable feeling of our cuddles.

“Hey, sit up for a second, will you?” Sam says abruptly as he sits up. I sit up and am attentive, waiting for Sam to say something else, “Y/N, I’ve gotta be honest- I don’t know how I feel about this, I mean... It’s dangerous, and I don’t know if it’s the smartest idea emotionally for either of us, but” Sam reaches behind him in his bedside drawer. I sigh- is he breaking up with me right now? I begin to get angry, not seeing probable cause for it- but I wait and hear him out.

“Y/N, I’ve been thinking a lot about this, I’ve been making sure that this is for the best, I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I’ve made sure- this is what I truly want- it’s not just some rash, needy mistake. Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?” I sit, staring at him in silence as he opens a small box, my eyes of wide and my jaw drops- speechless.

“Y/N? Are you-” Sam begins but I cut him off this time.

“Yes. Yes! I’ll marry you Sam Winchester” I kiss him passionately, as he returns the kiss, then pulls away. He mumbles a ‘wait’ before slipping the ring on my finger. “If you liked it, then you should’a put a ring on it” I say trying to be silly.

“And that’s what I’ve done” Sam replies going along with it; he kisses down my neck and chest until my shirt starts. “Now we can get to the part that you like” Sam teases as he comes up to kiss me fiercely, the movie long forgotten.

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When you look me in the eyes.

And tell me that you love me.

Everything’s alright,

When you’re right here by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,

I catch a glimpse of heaven.

I find my paradise,

When you look me in the eyes.

“I love you” I mouth to Sam as he stands across from me, handsome as ever in a rental tuxedo he got a couple of weeks ago. ‘I love you too’ Sam mouths back to me as the priest informs us of our martial duties to each other. I stare Sam in the eyes as he stares back. “I do” I say as the priest announces that Sam may kiss his bride; I quickly smirk before being brought in for a loving kiss. I’m glad you’re by my side- forever and always.