#Hit: Heroes of incredible tales cheat

[listening505]

nightcall | james hetfield

part 1: “i’m giving you a nightcall to tell you how i feel.”

other parts

“You took all my breaths.

You left a hole where my heart should have been.”

— a/n: im still not sure if this was a good idea but im doing it anyways, so this was a story i wrote couple years ago when i was bored in math class so the chapters are bit short and i wrote it in my main language so when i translated some parts didn’t really made sense and there’s some grammar mistakes too. I’ll try to fix them. And my only hyper-fixation for last 6-7 months is metallica so im pretty sure i’ll translate the other chapters fast okay that was long sorry for the rant —

Oh, James.

You came into my life at a time when you made me feel so right that I never thought you'd ruin my life.

~

The first time you called me in the middle of the night, you were just crying on the phone. You were crying so hard that when you tried to say the slightest thing, your breaths choked and another coughing fit shook your voice on the end of the phone.

Minutes or hours later, I don't know, the world seemed to stop spinning while you were just crying, and I don't know how long I listened to a big man like you cry like a child, but you stopped and said, "I'm sorry, Amelia." You said I didn't even know what you were apologizing for. I was worried that when he coughed again, his lungs would spill out of his mouth. "I am very sorry."

"James, tell me where you are and I'll come and get you. You need to calm down." You didn't answer anything I asked or said. You were crying, you were crying a lot. Your voice was lisper than usual, you probably overdosed on your drink again, but you've been like that about everything these days.

We were arguing more than ever. You were angrier than usual, but it was not that much of a problem. I was stupid back then and believed that no matter what we go through, we can get through anything. I thought we were the happily-ever-after heroes of a fairy tale. We weren't even involved, James. The end was near, ready to roll over the mountaintop like a growing mass of avalanches and crush us. I just didn't want to see it.

"I swear I didn't mean to cheat on you Amelia. Fuck. I just... Please say you'll forgive me."

Then you fired your first bullet, which opened my eyes as if waking up from an incredible nightmare.

You hit the bullseye James. You learned well how to knock me down.

[influencermagazineuk]

Walter White: The Transformation of a Flawed Protagonist of Breaking Bad

Walter White is one of the most iconic characters in television history, known for his transformation from a mild-mannered high school chemistry teacher to a ruthless methamphetamine kingpin in the hit show "Breaking Bad." Bryan Cranston's portrayal of Walter White is often cited as one of the greatest performances in television history, earning him four Primetime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series. Throughout the series, we see Walter's descent into darkness as he becomes more and more consumed by the power and money that comes with his illegal activities. However, it's important to note that Walter's actions are not solely driven by greed. In the beginning, he turns to cooking meth out of a desire to provide for his family after he's diagnosed with cancer and realizes he won't be able to leave them with any financial security. He's also fueled by a sense of resentment towards his former business partners, who he feels cheated him out of his rightful share of a successful company. Despite his initial intentions, it's clear that Walter becomes addicted to the thrill of the drug trade, using his intelligence and scientific knowledge to create a product that's better than anyone else's on the market. He becomes increasingly ruthless and paranoid as the show progresses, willing to do whatever it takes to protect his empire, including betraying and even killing those closest to him. However, what makes Walter White such a compelling character is the fact that he's not just a one-dimensional villain. He's a complex, flawed human being who's dealing with a terminal illness, a strained relationship with his wife, and a sense of inadequacy that's been simmering under the surface for years. He's not a hero, but he's not entirely a villain either. He's somewhere in between, and that's what makes him so fascinating to watch. In terms of themes, "Breaking Bad" is about the consequences of choices and the importance of personal agency. Walter White's decision to start cooking meth has far-reaching consequences for himself and those around him. However, the show also makes it clear that he's not a victim of circumstance. He actively chooses to enter the drug trade, and his subsequent actions are the result of those choices. The show also explores the idea of power and the corrupting influence it can have on individuals. Walter starts out as a relatively meek and powerless character, but as he gains more control over his business, he becomes increasingly tyrannical and ruthless. He's a cautionary tale about the dangers of allowing power to go unchecked. Walter White Walter White is a complex and fascinating character who has left an indelible mark on television history. His transformation from a sympathetic protagonist to a ruthless villain is a masterclass in character development, and Bryan Cranston's performance is nothing short of incredible. While he's certainly not a role model, there's no denying that Walter's story is a gripping one that's worth watching. Read the full article

[traincat]

Is peter a cheater in relationships?

I wouldn’t say that Peter is a cheater because for me to label a fictional character a cheater there has to be a strong and consistent pattern of infidelity present in their relationships, and that’s not true with Peter. If anything in a serious relationship he’s incredibly loyal -- I think it’s a mistake to view, for instance, the Gwen/Peter/MJ or Betty/Peter/Liz interactions as “traditional” love triangles where one party is torn between two romantic interests because in both in cases despite being pursued Peter displays a clear and consistent preference for the girl he’s with. 

(ASM #96-97) Peter’s reaction to Mary Jane hitting on him, even while Gwen is in England, isn’t interest, but chagrin, which actually from Mary Jane’s perspective is I think a strong part of the reason she does hit on Peter in the issues leading up to Gwen’s death; it’s not to try and break up him and Gwen so much as viewing Peter as someone who is safe to play around with because he’s so loyal to Gwen, or as someone to test to see if he’d break that loyalty, in which case she could write him off as the same as other men.

It’s complicated! I love it! So no, Peter’s not a cheater -- I don’t think we can characterize him as having a pattern of infidelity in his romantic relationships.

This does not, however, mean he’s always behaved great in relationships. Which I think is realistic for a character with a long-running history, but for the sake of the discussion let’s run with it. Before Peter unmasked to Felicia, for instance, there is deception in his romantic relationships. It’s not the deception of infidelity, of sneaking around in a romantic sense, but he is sneaking around -- in his Spider-Man costume to fight crime. This kind of relationship problem isn’t unique to Spider-Man -- “masked hero hides identity from the object of their affection for their safety” is a pretty old tale, but Spider-Man does love to play it up for misunderstandings in relationships. Back when Peter and Betty were together in the Lee/Ditko run Betty often did wonder if Peter was seeing other girls when the reason behind his secretive behavior was Spider-Man. 

(ASM #13)

Which ironically ended up with Betty and Peter embroiled in an extramarital affair -- the marriage was Betty’s to Ned Leeds -- years later, after Mary Jane had turned down Peter’s first proposal of marriage. 

(ASM #189 & #193) So not a cheater -- it’s not his marriage -- but maybe a little bit of a homewrecker, which is very sexy of him actually. Betty deserved to have a wild and sexually satisfying extramarital affair with Peter. (There’s at least one writer -- I think it was Marv Wolfman but don’t quote me on that -- who maintains Betty and Peter didn’t sleep together during this period because Peter would have “never shut up about it” which given how Peter is isn’t an unfair assessment, but my counterargument is that they did because Peter’s canonically great in bed and Betty deserved that dick.)

I think it’s fair to say that towards the tail end of his relationship with Felicia, Peter was having an emotional affair with Mary Jane, who he married shortly after. I don’t think he would have described it as such at the time or realized what he was doing, but I do think that’s pretty clearly what’s on the page. It’s not intentional emotional cheating but it’s hard to say he was 100% emotionally faithful to Felicia, which did cause problems later on down the line when Felicia returned to find him suddenly married to Mary Jane. There was also a brief period where Mary Jane was believed by both the public and eventually Peter to be dead -- she’d actually been kidnapped and her death faked -- where he almost slept with both Felicia and a former college student of his (which is a whole other kettle of bad behavior). But in the end he didn’t go through with either encounter, despite not knowing that Mary Jane was still alive. He did have a long running emotional connection/flirtation during this point with Jill Stacy, Gwen’s cousin and a friend of both is and Mary Jane’s, but I think this attraction towards Jill is actually something he shared with Mary Jane, not something that threatened to separate him from her, as long as I’m spinning out subtext. Jill disappeared from the pages almost immediately as soon as Mary Jane returned, too, even when Peter and Mary Jane really did separate shortly after for reasons entirely unrelated to another woman. 

Rather than a cheater, I think Peter’s just sometimes a little bit of a dog. When he’s dating Deb Whitman in grad school, I do think that in terms of romantic behavior this is when he’s the worst behaved in general -- he’s relatively unattached and directionless and it shows. I wouldn’t say that Peter cheats on Deb, but he yanks her around emotionally and it’s pretty clear that she’s not his first priority and that he’s not particularly interested in her romantically. But he keeps seeing her anyway, which gives her false hope for their relationship considering she really does like him.

(ASM #213) “I have a feeling Debbie’s gotten the wrong idea.” Oh, you THINK? But like, even considering he’s yanking her around emotionally, it’s pretty clear he’s not sleeping with her just because he could and then going around seeing other girls behind her back. I pick on Peter a lot for some of his behavior but I think in the grand scheme of things it’s hard to label much in his romantic affairs as intentionally hurtful on his part, even if he is sometimes careless with other people’s feelings. 

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ In WAR✘ and LOVE ♥ (Alfred Jones/America) Perfect

📑 Table of Contents

Genre: Slice of Life, Office AU, Fluff

Word Count: 1,752

Pairing: Reader x America

World: Axis Powers Hetalia

Author’s Note: I’m not sure if this went quite the way I was hoping lol but I hope you enjoy it!

☂ R a i n d r o p from [@karenusia​] ➧➧ “Hi! Can I ask for America with “Love isn’t about finding the perfect person, it’s about seeing an imperfect person perfectly ” from the In War and Love prompt list?”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

In this world, many people spend their whole lives chasing after this perceived notion of perfection, whether that’s in their own life or with their partner. They’ve wasted decades of their life trying to achieve something that simply does not exist. You’ve witnessed this so many times in your life, but people refused to listen to you when you attempted to explain how dangerous such thinking could be.

Perfection means having no flaws, being the very best at everything you do, which leaves no room for growth. And what kind of life would that be if you don’t make mistakes and learn from them? That is what it means to live as a human being – learning, making mistakes, and growing.

Unfortunately for you, your best friend and co-worker, Skye, was obsessed with being the best and finding the perfect partner. When things didn’t go her way or she got too overwhelmed, she would vent to you and, being the good friend that you are, you patiently listened to her cries, doing your best to comfort her. More than anything, though, she was jealous of you because, in her eyes, you had the perfect man in your life.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Lunchtime had arrived, but you were still planted at your desk, sorting through a stack of reports that needed to be completed before noon the next day. With your attention focused solely on the computer screen, you didn’t notice your boyfriend stepping off of the elevator, a picnic basket in hand. Skye, who had just stepped out of the bathroom down the hall, rushed over the second she saw him, a flirty smile upon her lips.

“Hello, Alfie!” Her eyes scanned the blue suit he wore, clinging to his strong frame. “How have you been?”

The blonde grinned brightly. “Heya, Skye! I’ve been awesome, what about you?”

“Actually,” she frowned, her bottom lip jutting out a bit. “I’ve been feeling quite lonely and sad lately. I just wish I had someone by my side, you know?”

“Man, that sucks.” He mimicked her frown before an idea struck him, blue eyes shimmering brightly. “Oh, I know what’ll help!” His fingers curled around her wrist before tugging her over to your desk. “Babe!”

You glanced up at him, smiling softly at your boyfriend. “Hey, darling. What are you doing here?”

He lifted the hand that held the basket, grin tugging at his lips. “Let’s have a picnic on the roof!”

“That sounds lovely,” you clapped your hands, glancing back at your work. “Just let me finish this report, okay? I’m almost done.”

“Sure! Oh, by the way, babe, can Skye join us?”

Skye’s eyes snapped over to you, expecting to see disappointment on your face, but you only sent her a genuine smile, not the least bit bothered by her intrusion on what could have been a romantic date between you and the blonde. For some reason she couldn’t understand, that really frustrated her.

“We’ll go get it set up for you!” Alfred pecked your cheek before tugging the woman toward the elevator.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Nearly ten minutes passed before you completed the report, stretching your arms above your head as you stood up, quickly signing out for lunch. The elevator only went to the eighteenth floor and from there, you had to take a single flight of stairs to reach the roof. When you pushed open the door, you were greeted with a cool breeze that ruffled your clothes and the sun napping behind a fluffy cloud. Skye and Alfred were sitting at the end of the roof upon a white and red checkered blanket, the basket sitting in the center.

Skye, who sat facing the direction of the door, noticed your approach and suddenly laughed exaggeratedly, her fingers curling around his bicep. “That’s such an interesting story, Alfie! Won’t you tell me more?”

You sat down across from them and Alfred sent you a loving grin, angling his body so he could start unpacking the food. He then continued his story, glancing at her every moment or so to make sure she was paying attention, to which she nodded frantically. While she hung onto his every word, she kept finding herself glancing at you, hoping to find jealousy within your eyes, but you weren’t even paying attention to them, having heard the tale hundreds of times since first meeting the blonde.

You carefully peeled back the plastic wrap that covered the cheeseburger, taking a bite and savoring the wonderful flavor. Alfred was honestly a shit cook but, for some reason unknown to you, his burgers always came out tasting immaculate. It was the strangest thing, but it was part of what made him so incredible.

Skye followed your example, taking a dainty bite because she didn’t like hamburger meat, but her eyes lit up in surprise. “Wow, this food is wonderful!”

Alfred grinned proudly at the comment, swallowing down the burger before speaking. “Thanks, bro! It’s my own personal recipe.”

“Oh, really?” She looked up at him through her lashes. “Can you teach me how you do it?”

“No can do.” He shook his head, blonde locks shifting from the movement. “Y/N is the only one that knows my secret!”

Her smile faltered at that. “Right, that makes sense.”

“It’s a really strange recipe, too,” you commented, glancing at your boyfriend. “To be honest, I think he’s the only one that could make such a thing work.”

“What do you mean, ‘strange’?” He pouted at you, tossing a piece of bread your way, but you laughed, easily dodging the small bread ball. “It’s brilliant!”

“I’m sure it is, Alfie,” Skye encouraged, leaning closer so that she could rest her hand on his knee. “You’re a really incredible man. Y/N is so lucky to have such a perfect person in their life.”

You snorted at that, nearly dropping the cheeseburger. “Alfred is far from perfect, Skye.”

Her eyes narrowed at you, a scowl upon her lips. “You only say that because you have him already! You don’t even realize how lucky you are and it’s not fair. The perfect man is sitting right in front of you but you don’t even care. I know you’re not stupid, yet you don’t even react when I flirt with him right in front of you! Does it not matter if you lose him?”

You considered her words for a moment, setting the half-eaten burger onto a paper towel. “You’re right, to a degree.”

“What?”

“I do feel quite lucky that Alfred chose to be with me, but I can say he’s not perfect because I have him. I get to see the most intimate parts of himself, his flaws and his mistakes. I get to see what makes him human like when he tries to cook anything that’s not a burger or fries, he always burns them to a crisp. Or how when he has an idea, he refuses to give up on it no matter how many times he fails and, believe me, he fails a lot. And yes, I do know that you’re flirting with him. I’ve known since day one, but I also that, for all of his imperfections, Alfred is not a cheater. So long as we remain in a relationship, I know he won’t touch another person.”

“You’re so full of it, my god.” She huffed, folding her arms over her chest. “You’ll say anything to disregard the notion of perfection, but I think you’re just jealous.

“You’re wrong,” Alfred stated with a serious expression upon his face. This surprised her because she had rarely ever seen him without some degree of a smile. “Perfection was created by humans who listed after the power that they believed a god possessed. It isn’t real, bro.” And then he stood up, stepping over the basket so that he could settle down beside you. “If I would have realized that you were hitting on me, I would’ve put a stop to it instantly!”

An incredulous look came to her face. “Are you kidding me? You were flirting back!”

“Not a chance, broski.” His nose wrinkled as if smelling something foul, his hand reaching out to find your own. “I’m the hero of this story, and heroes don’t cheat! I just thought you were being nice!”

You sent her a look. “If he were truly the perfect man, don’t you think he would have been able to tell that you were flirting? Alfred is completely oblivious to such things.”

Skye didn’t know how to feel. It was as if everything she believed in was dissolving before her very eyes. Could it be… were the two of you right all along?

“You should leave,” Alfred told her before snuggling closer to you.

Without a word, the woman stood up and started toward the door, her shoulders slumped. Feeling bad, you jumped up, calling out her name. She paused, but didn’t turn around.

A moment of silence passed between the two of you and you chewed on your lip, trying to find the right words. “Love isn’t about finding the perfect person, it’s about seeing an imperfect person perfectly. I really hope you can find that one day, truly.”

Skye bit her lip to keep from crying. Even after being such a bad friend, you still wished the best for her. With a nod, she left the roof, leaving you wondering if you could have done or said something differently.

Alfred came up behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he nuzzled your cheek with his face. “You always have the best advice, baby.”

You hummed, leaning back into his embrace. “I had a good teacher.”

“Really? Who?”

“Arthur.”

“No way!” He pouted, turning you around so you could see his eyes. “Why are you taking advice from him?”

“Because the last time I got advice from you, you told me to throw a hamburger at them.” You deadpanned. “Something tells me my boss would not appreciate that.”

“Who wouldn’t appreciate a free burger?” He grinned wolfishly, his fingers digging into your hips as he brought you closer, his eyes shimmering behind his spectacles.

“There’s a big difference between giving someone a free burger and smacking them in the face with it,” you chuckled, brushing his bangs away from his eyes.

“You can smack me in the face with a burger any time you want!”

“You’re such a dork.”

“But I’m your dork~”

“Yes, yes you are.” You smiled warmly, tugging him down so you could claim his lips.

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📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[new-timeline-new-me]

1, 2, 7, 8, 17

1.if you could hit any character without repercussions, who would it be?

reginald hargreeves no doubt -mod a

Mr. Reggie Tales himself 💖 --Mod J

2. what fandoms were apart of that you aren’t any longer?

i never really leave a fandom bc most of the time I'm too emotionally attached and i just vaguely linger like a distressed cryptid but i am not embarrassed to admit that i was the biggest harry potter fan for a WHILE i really only actually left when i realized was a shit person jkr was -mod a

honestly. there's probably a lot but what tends to happen if i “leave” a fandom is that i either stop engaging with the actual media & continue engaging with the fandom, or stop engaging with the fandom & continue engaging with the actual media. it's not really clear clear cut so i don’t have a list --Mod J

7. name a character you wouldn’t mind naming someone after.

literally any character i vaguely like. my cats are named after two incredibly vague harry potter characters i cannot possibly get any worse -mod a

ahsjskksks i'm gonna be real here & say i would probably name something after like. my own OCs. or maybe Laura Vanderboom

8. do you prefer happy, bittersweet, or sad endings?

really depends on the story. also if its written well. -mod a

i tend to prefer bittersweet? i feel like it leaves more room for interpretation. i do LOVE happy endings, though. i like sad endings, too, but only if they're done well. --Mod J

17. are there any tropes you wished were used less often?

I'm gonna say it. coffee shop aus are overrated. -mod a

ugh, i absolutely hate tropes where people cheat on their partner, especially if that person's the hero & we're supposed to forgive them because the person they slept with is their "TRUE" love. it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, & i struggle to see how people can find it romantic, especially when the person being cheated on is like. literally a good person --Mod J

[avelera]

Review: Circe by Madeline Miller

Late last night I finished “Circe” and admit I breezed through it in a couple days. It was a rare pleasure to read a book that captured my attention from beginning to end, something I’ve struggled with lately. I admire Miller a great deal, (indeed have written fanfiction in her style for my Steve/Bucky / Achilles/Patroclus reincarnation fusion fic “Sing, O Muse”) and looked forward to her take on another great figure of Greek mythology.

So, let’s get right to it:

Pros: 

The story has a lot to recommend it. Miller’s prose is well-renowned for its poetry and eloquence. She paints a vivid picture of a fantastical Ancient Greece where gods walk the earth and a witch/demi-goddess like Circe has a rich internal life. In no particular order:

- The Gods - Authors often struggle with how to include the gods in retellings of the Iliad and Odyssey. Most try to simply ignore them and chalk their involvement up to superstition. Unfortunately, that attempt usually runs into the brick wall of Thetis, who is key to the story of the rage of her son Achilles, and who shows up on the beaches of Troy, where no normal woman could. Miller has always leaned into the existence of the gods rather than run from it in her reimaginings of Greek myth, and paints a fully fleshed world where they reside side by side with mortals. Her use of language elevates their appearance and evokes a Celtic Faerie Court of powerful, capricious and otherworldly beings who are both intoxicating and deeply dangerous to mortals. Miller’s prose jumps off the page whenever one of these beings takes the spotlight and is by far one of the most creative takes I’ve seen of characterizing the Ancient Greek Gods.

- Passion - It is clear in the very DNA of this story that Miller loves Greek Mythology. There is a tenderness with which the great heroes and tragic figures of those myths like Odysseus and Prometheus are presented, almost a yearning to be able to reach out and offer them comfort in their trials that is very apparent. There is awe in how Athena is depicted, for all that she serves as an antagonist. There is wonder in the descriptions of beings like Helios and Scylla. The prose shines from within when these figures appear with a sort of joy and sadness that is infectious to the reader. The sense of love for this time and these characters is inescapable.

- Emotion - Particularly with the more melancholy emotions like sadness, resignation, and helpless anger there is a profound and powerful thread running through the story. One deeply feels the appeal of characters like Glaukos pre-transformation, Daedalus, Odysseus and Telemachus. When Circe falls in love with these men, I don’t for a second wonder why. They are presented with heartbreaking beauty and appeal. Circe’s own moments of tragedy are also evocative, she is deeply impacted by the ugliness of the world in a way that evokes understanding and sympathy. 

Cons:

I’m going to try my best in this section to not fall too much into the trap of “I would have done this differently” but... well, I’m not entirely sure I succeed. 

- Agency - The problem of character agency has plagued Miller’s two forays into Classical myth retellings, and for me personally present the most frustrating aspect of her prose. Circe, one of the most terrifying and powerful women of Ancient Greek mythology, is almost never the driver of her own destiny in this book and I found this aspect of the story baffling and at times infuriating. The moment this realization of her passivity in her own tale hit me hardest, almost enough to stop reading, was when Pasiphae, a mythological figure known almost solely for sleeping with a cow and being the mother of the Minotaur, was somehow a more terrifying and ambitious witch than Circe, one of the great villainesses of Classical literature. 

Pasiphae is presented as eagerly seeking out marriage with a powerful man, and while at first she is disappointed by her match to the mortal king Minos, she is comforted by the fact he is a son of Zeus  and will one day be one of the great judges of the Underworld. The events that take place after this are all mostly off-screen, but upon reaching the kingdom of Crete and its capital city Knossos, we learn she took the court over within, ruling with terror and poison, and that even when she was laid low by the shame of sleeping with a sacred bull, she still managed to twist this event to her own benefit and indeed even orchestrated the situation, deliberately giving birth to one of the most terrifying monsters of all time on purpose, using the opportunity for a multi-part palace coup including shaming her sister Circe by forcing her to help birth the monster and clean up the fallout, securing Pasiphae’s place in history and her dominance over the court with almost no repercussions. If she suffered at all from the fact that these events lead to the death of her daughter, Ariadne, we never see it, or any other negative consequences for her actions or opportunities for remorse, because at this point in the tale, Circe is (for no real narrative reason) no longer sleeping with Hermes and is therefore no longer privy to what is going on in the world outside her island. Even once she is free of her exile, she never follows up with the fates of her siblings.

Upon reaching this part of the book, all I could wonder was why were we not reading the tale of Pasiphae? This terrifying witch who took a weak position as the wife to a “great man” and twisted it to make herself one of the most powerful women in the world? What a fascinating subversion of the typical view of this mythological figure that would have been! 

Why Circe? Was a question I asked myself over and over. Surely if you wanted to tell the tale of such a passive character, there were plenty of other women in Greek mythology who would have been a better fit for the themes of the story that Miller eventually told? Why take Circe and make her a cringing good girl who always does what she’s told, whose one defiance in giving comfort to Prometheus as a little girl which as a flaw is basically  “being too good” and “caring too much”. Her aid of Prometheus is barely defiance at all, yet is blown into massive significance as one of the defining moments of her life when she does literally nothing purposefully bad, or even purposeful at all, for huge stretches of her life after that? Her transformation of Glaukos is cringing and secretive and almost totally accidental. Her transformation of Scylla in revenge for stealing Glaukos’s affections is more sullen than wrathful. We’re told she has a talent for transformation that exceeds the power of the gods themselves, but no sooner does she achieve these incredible feats then she apparently needs to start over and learn witchcraft from scratch and never again works such a great spell until she’s turning herself mortal so she can die at the end once she achieves her white picket fence ending. 

Where is Circe?! Where is the witch that became the subject of art and literature for millennia, one of the great female antagonists of Greek myth on par with terrifying villains like Medea? In the reimagining of this figure from her own perspective, we don’t find a great mythological figure but a tailor-made “perfect victim” - nothing bad is done by her on purpose. In fact, almost nothing she does is on purpose except to serve others in her life, like Glaukos, or Odysseus, or her son. Even her transformation of men into pigs is a result of her trying to help sailors who land on her island, only to be raped for her trouble and turn vengeful towards all other men after that. Well, until Odysseus apparently, when she gives up on transforming sailors after that, the most famous aspect of her character from mythology. Circe is given a prophecy for her fate at one point that is only that a man named Odysseus will come to her island, and that paltry prophecy turns out to be the sum total of the important events in her life as once again, she stands around in limbo until the actions of a man nudge her into actually doing something. Odysseus changes her life, not that this was hard, because she wasn’t doing anything before he came around.

Even Circe’s one great selfish act, the transformation of Scylla, brings her no joy and instead haunts her entire life like an albatross around her neck. Nothing she does is joyful, except perhaps glimmers early on as she embraces her skill with magic, and her love of the animals on her island which are presented as essentially house pets. One is left with the unshakeable sense that Circe has been re-imagined as spinster cat lady who has a couple nice little romantic flings over the years before having a kid on her own and eventually settling down with a nice husband to retire and die.

Which is fine. Perhaps it rubs me, personally, the wrong way because this is now the second iteration I’ve seen of powerful mythological women being used as modern feminist parables, only to be stripped of all their power to make these points. The other was “Penelope” by Margaret Atwood, in which Penelope is reimagined as a thinly veiled metaphor for a dissatisfied 50s housewife with a cheating husband. There’s barely any of her cleverness, her authority (for god’s sake, the woman was a queen) or her love of Odysseus, one of the great het romances of equals of ancient mythology, practically the only marriage of equals one can even point to,  and it’s torn down to make a point about not liking your husband very much when he cheats on you to feel better about himself. 

“Circe” at times feels autobiographical for the author (and of course this is speculation to a great extent), showing struggles with love and men, finding oneself, mourning beloved pets when they die, trying to escape the shadow of an emotionally abusive family, and learning to make decisions on one’s own in a patriarchal world. Which is fine, “Hamilton” by Lin Manuel Miranda is not perfectly historically accurate because at times it makes the choice to instead delve into autobiographical notes about Lin Manuel Miranda and his father, the experience of being a writer and the immigrant experience, the latter of which is hardly something the real Hamilton would have ever touted about himself but the strength of passion in telling that story elevates the text so it can be both about Alexander Hamilton and about Lin Manuel Miranda at the same time. There were moments in “Circe” where I was almost yelling at the page, just pick one! You can use the story of Circe to elevate a modern autobiography, to give certain aspects of life mythic proportions and tell the story of a woman who feels emotionally exiled eventually finding herself and finding love, but you have to go for it. To try to tell the story of Circe and tell a modern woman’s story at the same time is to do a disservice to both stories, where Circe is brought down into the dirt with other indecisive mortals, and the true pathos of a modern woman’s striving for agency in her life is outshone by the myth and wonder of Circe’s world.

My final note on agency, but “Song of Achilles” struggled with a very similar problem. Patroclus was reimagined as the passive, doting lover of Achilles. This allowed some really beautiful meditations on love and sacrifice, but it absolutely stripped Patroclus of many of his canonical qualities. The Patroclus of the Iliad did not shrink from battle or become a healer to avoid the war, he was a willing and joyous warrior as much as Achilles was. He begged Achilles for his armor in order to keep prosecuting the war and raise morale even if Achilles couldn’t fight. 

With Patroclus, as with Circe, you have two aggressive figures who are reimagined as passive perfect victims, who spend the entire book working themselves up to the courage to make a handful of active decisions for themselves. 

Going back to one of the Pros, which is the love felt on the page for these great figures like Odysseus and Prometheus, there are times when Patroclus and Circe both feel like the passive vessels for a self-insert adoration of these heroes. When Odysseus appears, I was struck by how overjoyed I was to see him. What a striking contrast Odysseus presented! Active, clever, tricky, beset by trials that he overcomes only to seek out more - contrast that with Circe who is none of those things except in glimpses. What a striking reminder of what a fantastic protagonist Odysseus is, how he is one of the greatest protagonists in almost 3,000 years of literature. Because he does things and he chooses things and he has unique qualities like his cleverness that help him overcome obstacles in fascinating ways that we still read about today. 

Similarly with Patroclus being the passive narrator of Achilles’ life, we feel the reflected glow of Achilles desire and drive, we yearn for it, because almost none of that quality is present in the protagonist and narrator of the story Patroclus! I am reminded of “Nick” in the Great Gatsby and his passive viewing of events, and I’m reminded that Nick wasn’t even supposed to be a character, he was only meant to be a narrative voice until Fitzgerald’s editor stepped in and said he needed to be characterized. At times, Patroclus and Circe both skirt the line of being so passive in their own story that on some level, they feel like little more than a narrative lens through which we glimpse the true heroes from afar.

I held off until I finished the book before making a final judgement of Circe’s passivity, because at every step I kept expecting her to finally change and take charge of her own life. Early on, I thought her comforting of Prometheus would launch her into taking control of her own destiny, which would have been a fascinating inciting incident, mirroring humanity’s gift of fire. Then I thought Glaukos would. Then Scylla. Then her exile. Then Odysseus. Then her son. And at every point, she fades into the background after and goes back to doing what she’s told. The book ends with her finally making a decision and that decision is to settle down with a kind husband and eventually die. She stands up to her father, the Sun, to make this stand and it is a beautiful, melancholy ending of the story but by god, woman, it would have been a much more satisfying retirement for a character that burns and makes decisions and does things than a character who takes hundreds of years to screw up the courage to ask for a quiet retirement on her own terms.

“Circe” is beautifully written. It is a lovely, melancholy anthology about one woman’s encounters with the great figures of mythology, lovingly told, as she seeks to find herself and what she wants out of life. I do not feel my time was wasted.

But if I were to sit down as an editor with the author and point out the three things I’d like her to work on for her next story it would be this:

- Structure - the story meanders and stays glued to the scattered known events of Circe’s life. It has no internal rising and falling action. It is a series of short stories with Circe’s life loosely tying them all together. Like JK Rowling no longer understanding how to plot a story when it isn’t built around a typical school year, I speculate that Miller struggles with building a structured story without having a pre-laid track of mythical events to hang it off of, and I’m not sure she is able to sculpt a tale into having a structure outside of “slice of life” moments in those fictional biographies, beautifully told.

- Agency - characters need to want something. They need to seek out something, they need to do something. Even if they are buffeted about by the events in their lives, they should at least have a way they wish things were going instead and take some steps to making the future they want real. Passive characters who sulk their way through the events thrust upon them by more powerful, dynamic characters, may have beautiful, languorous commentary on the world but they are essentially narrators rather than protagonists at that point.

- Telling rather than showing - I know this advice is often misunderstood and badly implemented. Telling is actually clarifying and provides structure to showing. But there are huge stretches of the book that read like just a laundry list of the narrator telling us what happened next “And then, and then, and then” without couching these moments in a scene that we could feel. There are some absolutely gorgeous scenes but they feel scattered and indeed, anthological, for the exact reason that we get a handful of strongly depicted scenes in Circe’s life, strung together by her telling us rather than showing us what happened in between. The fact that none of it really builds towards any sort of climax or true reversal of her fortunes makes those moments of telling, which I forgave at first because I felt they were in service of getting us to the good part, a greater betrayal when it became clear that the only thing those stretches were getting us too was the next mini-event in her life when she met another character more driven than herself.

[vaultofqueenorion]

Review of The Handmaid’s Tale

This book hit me like a ton of bricks. I get a sick feeling every time I think seriously of it, and it chilled me all the way to the bone. And yet, it is such an incredible book, in all its psychological horror. I think the worst part is that I see attributes and slivers of the book in everyday life. There’s a truth to it, and it doesn’t ring hollow. 

Read the book. But read the book only if you can stomach it, because it is truly gruelling. I would never call this a good book. Interesting, observant, thought-provoking, yes. But it is not one that has ever or ever will bring me entertainment.

Trigger warnings / TW / Content warnings: the book goes into detached detail with rape, forced pregnancy, murder, hanging, angry mobs tearing apart living people, shootings, killings, massacres and total oppression. Do not read if you are sensitive to any of these subjects. 

The Title

The title befits the book in two ways; first, it is the tale of Offred (as we know her only), a handmaiden to the Commander. The Commander is likely Frederick R. Waterford, as is discussed in the epilogue of the book, but that is never confirmed. 

What is a handmaiden, you ask, if you have never seen the popular Hulu series or heard of the book. A handmaiden is a woman (girl in the book to remove agency) that is ‘bound’ to a married couple who are unable to conceive children - in the book, we hear only of the whereabouts of the handmaidens of the Commanders and their Wives. 

The handmaiden is stripped of her name, her family, her identity, and she has to serve the couple - she is forced to give them children in a twisted ritual that apparently has root in biblical texts. Basically, she is raped in the presence of the couple in order to bear children for barren women who could otherwise not do so. 

The title also refers to the name of the ‘item’ which is a series of cassettes written into a manuscript discussed at the conference of the ‘Twelfth Symposium on Gileadean Studies’ in the year 2195. 

It is a has-been; a recollection of the events recorded by the same woman from whom we read the story, and the speaker at the conference makes several jokes throughout his speech to keep the mood light and the audience entertained. 

It is a detached study in the history of America when it crumbled to a totalitarian patriarchal society that oppressed women in drastical terms and through drastic means. 

The Characters

Offred is meek yet strong-willed. Outspoken yet scared. It is as if she lives as a chameleon, never quite touching the ground of who she really is, but instead latching on to the world and society around her. 

The most remarkable thing about her is, in fact, her normality. She wonders, she becomes angry and yet she doesn’t do anything. Because what can one person do against overwhelming odds? When the other option is death, do you choose to live in submission?

The quote is one that I feel sums up her character. Instead of raging at the world like the heroes we see in stories, she tries to change the very core of her being to align with the wishes of new society. 

She does what many ordinary people would do, simply because fear is one damn powerful motivator. She feels she has no other choice. And she holds on to hope, throughout it all. Hope that she might - just might - see her daughter or her husband again. Hope that she might break free. 

We never do find out whether she finds absolution for that hope or not. 

The Commander lives a parallel life to the handmaidens. In all actuality it seems he lives a parallel life to the women of the dystopian world. He says that he wants Offred to have a pleasant or at least bearable existence, but what he does is that he gets her to indulge in things that he wants to do. He dresses her up and parades her around in secret bars where other girls are ‘working’ as if he owns her - which shows us that he kind of believes that he does. 

Even when he gives Offred something - a magazine - he doesn’t really think of how it is for her.

It is not only ignorance - it is also a lack of wanting to know. He simply doesn’t care enough about her existence to know that she cannot do so. Or he pretends to, playing the ‘good guy’ who doesn’t have anything to do with the hellscape Offred lives in. 

The thing is, this kind of ignorance is commonly participated in throughout society - just take a look at the men who say that they suddenly ‘understand how women feel’ when they pose as women online. Or the white people who ‘never knew how bad POC had it’ because they simply never bothered to look. 

It just hits a little too close to home, that’s all.

Serena Joy / the Commander’s wife is a chilling person. To be a woman, to see what is being done to other women, and yet still somehow hating them for it, as if it isn’t the higher up around her - including her own husband - who have orchestrated this. 

And then there’s this quote:

It does have several meanings to it. To Joy it means that she longs for children, that she wants them so badly that she will do anything in her power to get them. To Offred it means that if she cannot provide a strange family with children through rape, she will be shipped off to a faraway place where she will likely starve to death

Perspective, indeed.

Offred wants so desperately for her friend and the personification of the rebellion in her mind, Moira, to go out in a ball of fire. To burn the whole damn thing to the ground and either walk away, a cigarette in hand, or die trying. 

It seems that there is something in her that longs to be near her, as if Moira is the ideal that she strives towards, and when she never hears from her or sees her again, there is a melancholy and yet an emptiness to her words. 

She talks about their relationship once, before it all went to hell, and this quote is from that:

Luke. Luke, Luke, Luke. Offred misses Luke, and of course she does. He was her husband, the man she was waiting on while he cheated on his then partner, and the father of Offred’s daughter. And yet. 

I hated him so much. 

Just the mention of him sent spiders crawling down my spine, and really, the cheating was bad enough. Even worse was the small signs of misogyny - him saying that Offred losing her job was no big deal, that they would get through it together. Him joking with her about it - about how she could stay at home now, how he would have the power. 

No, I really didn’t like that casual display of superiority. 

Offred’s daughter is part of the next generation of Wives. Sent off to some lucky childless family, this eight year old girl will be groomed and bred into the oppression around her, and at some point, she will stop questioning the world. 

After all, as Aunt Lydia said to Offred:

Offred’s mother is a full-blooded feminist, which causes her to be shipped off to die early on. She’s an abortion advocate, and one of her most telling quotes is:

As a reply to when Offred in the past says that Luke’s teasings are nothing. But the mother understands. Understands the work that it has taken to get this far, and the work that needs to be done, lest they slip back into oppression.

And you know what? People languished in their complacency at the time of the coup, and the totalitarian society crept into the shadows, settling more and more and consuming the light as time passed by.

The Plot

The plot is really not the remarkable part of this story. Yes, Offred goes to town, befriends a fellow handmaid (this one is part of the resistance, peeps!), attends the ceremony, is taken to the Commander’s office, then later to the forbidden bar. 

The places aren’t so much important as what Offred observes. The small injustices, the doctors and scientists handing from the Wall, the Particicution in which the handmaids tear a man apart because he has allegedly raped someone (which is then told to be untrue; he is part of the resistance group, and handmaids murdering him with their bare hands is a good way for the totalitarian government to get rid of him). 

In truth, the handmaids have no real chance of getting themselves out, if they do not collaborate with Mayday, the resistance group. In truth, they are stuck in their miserable places, and that is why one of the earliest quotes from Offred is so chilling:

This is also why the handmaids live with the bare minimum of utilities - they are watched as they bathe, no light fixtures are present, matches are forbidden, knives unsupervised are forbidden. 

Because so many have killed themselves in desperation to get out of the hell that they have found themselves in. 

The Language

Margaret Atwood especially puts focus on the horror of the world that Offred lives in through two means; the conference / historical notes at the end of the story which brings a light and humorous view on the totalitarian society, and the on-the-verge-but-not-quite tone of hopelessness that Offred uses to describe her tales through. 

Aunt Lydia is often the catalyst for this kind of hopelessness. In the times where Offred tried to convince herself that this really is better. That the world is not quite as bleak, and that she actually has it better now than before.

It is a form of brainwashing that is already beginning to form. And what else can she do, one might think. She has to survive somehow. 

And yet, she brings herself to rekindle a fire once in a while. To open the lid on the anger, the resentment, the fierce cruelty of the world that she is faced with. It is something that she does internally, and one of the more prominent moments of this is when she is faced with the Commander in his office. 

The butter in this scenario refers to a tiny rebellion - an act of survival in a way that goes against the schemes and oppression of the world around the handmaidens. The most telling thing is that he laughs at her - as if the way of coping, the secret tips that are being shared between the handmaidens is nothing more than child’s play.

And it probably is to him. 

With a good standing, a good life and a sweet deal compared to the majority of this society that he helped create, he would never think to ‘stoop’ to such methods. 

The oppression is strong in this one, is all I have to say. 

Notes and worthy mentions

The Ceremony. Ooooh, the Ceremony. Of the most convoluted, terrible scenes I have ever had the displeasure of reading, this detached form of rape, explained as the rape is occuring, was terrifying and horrifying and I really, truly never want to read anything like it again.

Also, Offred calls it something else. She doesn’t want to call it rape, because she feels as if she had a choice - not much choice, but still choice. 

One thing that ticked me off was the mention of Mayday and the Underground Femaleroad - the latter a smuggling ring made to get the women out of their horrible positions. 

And the person at the historical conference calls it a Frailroad. Yes, it’s a shortening of female and road, but dang. And the worst thing is? It is totally realistic as to how it would probably be called - just look at how we treat the witch trials or say feminazi if a feminist speaks up about something that’s a ‘little too radical’. I call BS, is all, even if it just goes to show that Margaret Atwood knows what she’s doing when she writes. 

In conclusion

It is not a good book. It is magnificent in the way it portrays something that many women feel at least slivers of and amplifies them in a way that pierces your heart and leaves you dangling at its mercy. 

Books are meant to entertain, yes, but they are also meant to challenge, to inquire, and to make you think. Rarely has a book stayed with me for this long after I have read it, and rarely have I seen more parallels from the world we live in capable of being drawn to this hellscape that Margaret Atwood has created.

There is truth in this horrifically fantastic book. And this means that I cannot help but give it five paws out of five. The alternative would have been to have given it zero, but the thing is that I have seen society in such a new light after reading this that it wouldn’t have been fair. 

[hellzyeahwebwieldingreviews]

Untold Tales of Spider-Man 02: After the First Death… – by Tom DeFalco

A story that has me debating the nature of these stories.

A soggy Spidey swings through rainy Manhattan looking for crime shots for the Daily Bugle. He comes upon Kent and Wayne Weisinger on the roof of Stockbridge Jewelers, planning to rob it. Confident that he can end the fight anytime he wants to, Spidey stretches it out so that his automatic camera can take as many photos as possible. Kent and Wayne have a longstanding sibling rivalry marked by Kent's resentment of being the "muscle" to Wayne's "brains" along with feeling that his brother always cheats him. During the fight, Kent appears to charge at Spidey but when the web-slinger leaps out of the way, Kent doesn't stop, charging into Wayne and knocking him off the roof. Wayne falls five stories to his death and all the by-standers think Spidey did it. Guiltily, Spidey flees, forgetting about Kent altogether.

So, Kent goes to Wayne's estranged wife Jeannette to tell her the news. "Solid ice," Jeannette could care less about Wayne's death except that she's lost her meal ticket. When Kent blames the death on Spider-Man, Jeannette gets an idea on how to cash in.

In fact, Peter Parker seems to be the only one emotionally affected by Wayne's death. He has a sleepless night, trying to cope with the situation. Unguarded, he admits to J. Jonah Jameson that he has photos of the incident. His resolve to not sell the photos is beaten down by Jameson's arm-twisting and his own need for money. He sells the pictures and is then introduced to Jeannette, now the grieving widow of Wayne, who has come to JJJ for help in instituting a civil suit against Spider-Man. At school, Peter's conscience makes him counter Flash Thompson's avowal that "Spidey's no murderer" with "Maybe the wall-crawler didn't actually kill the man... but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be held accountable for what happened." Back in action, Spidey hesitates over stopping a purse-snatcher, fearful that he may cause another tragedy. Back home, Peter doesn't know what to do. He recalls that Uncle Ben's death made him swear, "that no innocent person would ever again be made to suffer because Spider-Man had failed to act. It had never occurred to him that anyone would suffer because of Spider-Man's acts." And while Wayne wasn't exactly innocent, "he had suffered because Peter had acted irresponsibly." He ends up having one of those vague discussions with Aunt May where he can't tell her any details because she doesn't know he's Spider-Man, yet she manages to hit the nail on the head, telling him in this case, "Everybody makes mistakes, Peter. You just try to learn from your failures as best you can, and you move on. You'll always get another chance to do better as long as you keep at it."

Meanwhile, Jeannette decides to kick Kent out of the deal and keep any anticipated profits for herself. So even as Spidey sucks it up and gets back into action, proving himself a hero, Kent decides he's not going to be kicked around anymore, buttonholes a TV reporter and gives an interview in which he reveals "that he deliberately pushed his elder brother off the roof of Stockbridge Jewelers because of numerous past frustrations." At Midtown High, Flash crows over Spidey's exoneration but Peter won't let the web-slinger off so easily. "A real hero would have found a way to save Wayne Weisinger" he says, "He would have acted smarter, reacted quicker, or behaved more responsibly... And that's something Spider-Man will have to live with for the rest of his life."

Because these are untold tales, prose stories and utilize the comic book continuity you can analyse them from several different angles and their worth changes depending upon those angles.

 Chiefly this boils down to whether I judge this as a story unto itself or within the context of comic book continuity as it existed back then? What about the fact that I’m here in 2020 evaluating a prose book written in 1990 that’s trying to synch up with comic book stories written in the 1960.

 It boggles the mind. All I can do is write about how I feel.

 I liked this story unto itself and within the context of this book. I think, kind of like the last story, that it doesn’t really integrate into Spider-Man’s comic book history.

 The emotional journey of Peter in this story involves learning that he needs to be careful about how he acts. In this regard it’s rather similar to his lesson from Gwen’s death, which is kind of my problem. This story’s title implies this is in fact the very first time Spider-Man has experienced death ‘on the job’ as it were.

Surely such a thing would weigh on his mind more, surely it’d crop up when he dwells on the list of people he’s seen die or feels guilty about dying. Or at least he’d be reminded of Wayne’s death when Gwen dies.

In the comics of course Wayne has never ever been mentioned. Duh, because he didn’t exist until DeFalco invented him for this story. Of course we could draw comparisons with Sally Avril, a character from AF #15 who died in the comic book version of Untold Tales but whose death went unacknowledged in stories from the 60s-90s.

I think the critical difference there is that (IIRC) Peter wasn’t particularly responsible for her death whereas in the case of Wayne, whilst he didn’t push him off the building, his arrogance really did directly contribute to his death. Plus seeing a man die in such a horrible way, especially if it is the first time he’s ever seen a dead body, would likely leave a bigger impression upon Peter than the nature of Sally’s death, although I must admit it’s been a long time since I read that issue so perhaps I am wrong.

From a continuity stand point this is the minefield you always walk, but at the same time it’d be difficult to generate drama if you didn’t step on those mines occasionally.

I feel DeFalco here wanted to tell a dramatic story that had Peter grapple with a genuinely emotional situation and also took advantage of the nature of this story as a flashback tale.

And frankly he succeeded. If you view this either out of continuity or essentially within an incredibly generalized canon of Spider-Man (i.e. Gwen Stacy died, whether Peter did or didn’t think about Wayne is ambiguous though) the story very much works. I doubt DeFalco or anyone else was honestly feeling any of these stories were going to strictly be canon anyway. However for the record this story happens at some point after ASM #9 because when we get a list of Spider-Man’s opponents they all appeared up to that issue.

 Looking at the story itself its flaws are incredibly minor.

 Some of the dialogue feels old fashioned, but I argue that is likely by design since this is set in an older time period. We go over exposition related to Peter’s origin again, which is more the editor’s fault since we got those details in the first story of the anthology. In fairness revisiting it does serve a greater purpose here because the story is directly ruminating upon the nature of responsibility. In that sense it would’ve been more logical to open the book up with this than the Ant-Man story and I see little reason as to why this couldn’t have in theory happened at an earlier point chronologically. Yeah the Ant-Man story claims Spider-Man’s a new figure on the scene but the passage of time in the first 10 issues of ASM is so vague it’s really not unbelievable that even by issue #9 Spidey might still be considered ‘new’.

 Not only does the story explore (and successfully at that) the theme of responsibility, approaching it from the opposite direction from the lesson Ben’s death imparted, but it also features the supporting cast more. Flash, Aunt May, Jameson, the Bugle and public distrust of Spider-Man are all given notable roles to play in the story, again proving that THIS should’ve opened the book.

 To go back to the theme of responsibility for a moment, perhaps the most nuanced bit of writing in the story is when Peter is on the phone to Jameson. Peter has a really great ethical dilemma. Would it be irresponsible to profit off of Wayne’s death or would it be irresponsible to not profit off of it and use the money to support his Aunt May?

 DeFalco more than any other writer GETS Spider-Man and his depiction of Peter’s internal debate, whilst short, rings utterly true. What gets me is that most of the time whenever I’ve seen this sort of thing done with Peter he’s actually made a different decision, but here DeFalco recognizes that in actuality Peter WOULD consider his responsibilities as the bread winner outweigh what boils down to him merely feeling bad about profiting off a man’s death. It’s not all that different to when he faked photos of Electro to help Aunt May. Yes it’s unethical, but there was a higher responsibility, a greater good at stake.*

 Kent and Jeanette’s subplot, whilst arguably wrapped up unsatisfactorily, does a neat job of evoking something of a daytime drama or even noir story, and in that light fits wonderfully into the brand of stories Lee and Ditko churned out way back at the start.

 In fact of the two opening stories this one more successfully captured that era and by extension the approach of the comic book version of UToSM. Whilst the Ant-Man story was fun, it was the prose equivalent of a typical MTU super hero yarn complete with dodgy pseudo science.

 This story though? Now this is a Spider-Man  story. It has a singular main character (Kent is ultimately a supporting player) and whether he’s in or out of the costume the story is driven by the emotional and human problems faced by the character, not the fantastical super human issues. In classic Spidey manner those two halves of his life bleed over into one another and lack a clear cut divide.

 Really in the Ant-Man story Peter’s personal life would’ve gone mostly unaffected whether he had gotten involved or not. It wasn’t about Peter Parker, it was about Spider-Man. This story is about both.

 Peter needs money to look after himself, his home and Aunt May. So he looks for trouble as Spider-Man and pads out a fight. That gets someone killed which haunts Peter and makes him hesitate to BE Spider-Man, even whilst he reluctantly profits off it as Peter Parker which in turn contributes to his being falsely accused as Spider-Man and kids as school hating on him because he will not defend Spider-Man from these accusations.

 Wham, Bam, DeFalco is the Man. THAT’S a fucking Spidey story right there!

 The only thing for me which really and truly did let this story down wasn’t the fault of the book, but the audio production.

 I’m hoping DeSantos was just off his game for this story, but between this and his prior efforts I think he’s achingly miscast as the narrator of this title. He worked better narrating Stan Lee and Busiek’s forwards than the actual stories. As Aunt May, Kent and Jeanette he wasn’t that bad (actually pretty good as Kent), but his Peter/Spider-Man fails. He can’t even sell the emotion of the non-dialogue bits. He’s not a bad narrator, but not right for this book.

 Over all taken strictly within comics canon there are a lot of contradictions. But taken as it’s own thing or (I suspect) within the context of this one book, this is a knock out story.

 *By the way DeFalco also seamlessly blends humour and tragedy in the scene. Peter’s internal debate and horror at the prospect of profiting off of Wayne’s death leaves him in silence which in turn is misinterpreted by Jameson causing him to raise his offer which in turn causes Peter more internal strife. Just brilliant!

[thisdaynews]

Tiger Woods: His scandalous, tumultuous and redemptive decade, sparked by a car crash

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/tiger-woods-his-scandalous-tumultuous-and-redemptive-decade-sparked-by-a-car-crash/

Tiger Woods: His scandalous, tumultuous and redemptive decade, sparked by a car crash

Woods ended an 11-year wait to claim his 15th major with a fifth Masters title, in April 2019

Tiger Woods sped out of his Orlando driveway, across kerbs and a central reservation, collided with a fire hydrant and ploughed into a neighbour’s tree.

For the world’s most recognisable sportsman, this incident during the very early hours of 27 November, 2009, began a scandalous, tumultuous and spectacularly redemptive decade.

In the previous dozen years Woods had dominated golf like no other player. He won multiple majors – the championships that define careers – and reeled off tournament victories all over the world.

In the past 10 years he has won only one major but his life has turned around. He is a doting father, his sport’s greatest ambassador and still a player capable of winning at the very highest level.

Comparing the most recent decade with the all-conquering period that preceded it, Rory McIlroy, who is one of his biggest rivals, says: “I think what he had to go through to get to the other side in the last 10 years is equally as impressive.”

In the wake of the crash, Woods’ image plumbed shameful and painful depths before eventually soaring again to hit epic highs.

That night, 10 years ago, he was surrounded by shattered glass and was groggy from a cocktail of painkillers and sleeping pills. He then lost consciousness and was ferried to hospital in an ambulance.

We were about to discover that this proud champion was, in fact, a deeply flawed individual. The crash occurred in the moments after his wife Elin had found out that her husband had been cheating.

In the days and weeks that followed, it became clear Woods had been a serial philanderer. Celebrity gossip magazines and websites were all over the story. They became an essential source for hard news, as the downfall of Woods made headlines everywhere.

He had always jealously guarded his privacy. Now the whole world knew his address: 6348 Deacon Circle, Windermere, Florida 34786.

Woods drove his SUV into a fire hydrant and tree near the entrance to his neighbour’s driveway

The crash happened a week after Woods added yet another tournament victory to his glorious career. He won the Australian Masters in Melbourne, but reporters from the National Enquirer were on his tail. The American celebrity magazine suspected Woods had a secret girlfriend, Rachel Uchitel, in tow at the luxury Crown Casino and hotel.

When he returned to America he warned his wife the Enquirer would be publishing a story. He denied its allegations and multiple accounts state that he set up a call between Uchitel and Elin to reassure his wife.

Then on 26 November, Woods went to the nearby Isleworth clubhouse to spend Thanksgiving evening playing cards. He returned home, took an Ambien sleeping tablet and went to bed.

At this point Elin started to go through his mobile phone. She texted Uchitel and then called her. In the process she confirmed the affair. “I knew it,” she is widely reported to have said. Elin then confronted a groggy Woods, who ran to his driveway, jumped into his Cadillac Escalade and fatefully crashed exiting his property.

No-one tracked Woods closer in 2009 than journalist Robert Lusetich. He was writing Unplayable, a book examining the character of this most guarded of golfers.

Lusetich was playing golf with friends on 27 November. The Australian reporter recalls: “One of the guys looked at his phone and he said: ‘Tiger Woods has been injured in a car accident and nobody knows how bad it is.’

“It was like ‘wow, that’s incredible’. So I sent Steve Williams [Woods’ caddie] a text. He was in New Zealand.”

Williams called Mark Steinberg, Woods’ long-time agent from the International Management Group.

Tiger Woods’ smashed car after the 2009 crash outside his home

Lusetich heard back from Williams. “Steinberg said everything will be fine,” the writer says. “And then he said: ‘Don’t believe anything that you’re gonna hear.’ That’s a strange thing to say. When we saw the story from the National Enquirer it became clear that this was indeed a scandal of some magnitude.”

Numerous women subsequently came forward to say they had secret relationships with the world’s best golfer leaving his fans and fellow players stunned.

“I’ve learnt a few of the new websites this week,” said Irishman Padraig Harrington, who was one of Woods’ biggest rivals at the time. “It’s a phenomenal story, the spotlight is massive.”

American tabloids gave more coverage to this tale than the aftermath of 9/11. When Woods was front page of the New York Post for 20 consecutive days, it beat a record set by the 11 September attacks on New York and Washington in 2001.

“I’m just amazed,” admitted the 2006 US Open winner Geoff Ogilvy. “How did nobody know? Tiger Woods is quite recognisable.”

Woods retreated from competitive golf – the sport he dominated with 14 majors, second only to the game’s most successful player, Jack Nicklaus. He had been on track to overhaul that record of 18 major titles. It seemed only a matter of time for such a special player, one who had grown far bigger than just golf.

A black man dominating a white man’s game, he could flash a million-dollar smile. Woods was the face of multinational companies such as Nike, Accenture, Gillette, Gatorade and Tag Heuer. He was the number one golfer in the world and Forbes made him sport’s first billionaire.

There was a seemingly idyllic domestic scene with a photogenic wife and two young children. To the outside world he had it all, but inside there was turmoil.

And it came cascading to the fore with the relentless revelations which detailed his behaviour leading up to that infamous car crash.

Woods was released from hospital the following day and headed to Arizona where he had plastic surgery to repair his lip which had been cut in the crash. His whereabouts were known to only his closest confidants.

“I couldn’t believe that Tiger Woods would be that reckless,” says Lusetich. “He had basically convinced himself that he was bulletproof because of prior incidents and being able to cover them up.”

On 11 December Woods released a statement which said he was taking an indefinite break from golf.

“I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children,” he posted on his website.

Woods, pictured here on 21 November 2009 with his daughter, Sam, and then-wife, Elin Nordegren

After Christmas, he checked into Pine Grove Behavioural Health and Addiction Services, a facility in downtown Hattiesburg, Mississippi. It was reported he enrolled on the “Gratitude” programme to treat sex addiction.

Woods has never confirmed the nature of his treatment. “Gratitude” was designed by Dr Patrick Carnes, who first introduced the term sexual addiction into medical circles in 1983.

What seems certain is that Woods faced a brutal regime of self analysis well away from the outside world. It meant he missed the first birthday of his son Charlie.

“I can’t go back to where I was,” he later said. “I want to be part of my son’s life and my daughter’s life going forward.”

Not everyone was convinced of the wisdom of Woods’ treatment. A future president weighed in on Fox News: “I would recommend Tiger just call it a bad experience,” said Donald Trump.

“Say bye-bye, go out, be a wonderful playboy, win tournaments and have a good life. The most important thing Tiger can do is get back on the golf course and win. This whole thing with sex rehabilitation, I’m not sure I’m a believer.”

Woods returned home to Isleworth on 15 February 2010 and it was time to address the world.

Four days later, surrounded by close friends and his mother Kultida, he stood before a television camera in a room at PGA Tour headquarters in Florida. Twenty two TV networks in the US interrupted schedules to broadcast Woods’ 14-minute statement. Never had this supreme champion looked so vulnerable.

He apologised for his “irresponsible and selfish behaviour” and afterwards his mother stated: “I’m so proud to be his mother, period. He didn’t do anything illegal. He didn’t kill anybody.”

The Open champion at the time, Stewart Cink, commented: “It was probably one of the most difficult things he’s ever had to do.”

Woods embraces his mother Kultida after making a statement admitting to cheating on his wife, in December 2009

The night before the apology Woods went to the range to hit his first golf balls since the scandal broke. “I hit them solid,” he is reported to have told Hank Haney, his coach at the time.

He returned to action at the first major of the year, the Masters, a little under two months later and received heavy criticism from Billy Payne, chairman of Augusta National Golf Club.

“He disappointed all of us,” Payne said at a remarkable chairman’s news conference. “And more importantly, our kids and our grandkids. Our hero did not live up to the expectations of the role model we saw for our children.”

Remarkably, Woods finished fourth in the tournament, a stunning result against the best players in the world after four tortuous months away from the game.

Within days Woods split with Haney, who subsequently wrote a tell-all book, The Big Miss. It detailed his hugely successful time coaching Woods and provided unique insights on someone so secretive of his life on and off the course.

Haney revealed Woods’ obsession with the military, that the player had trained with Navy Seals and undergone punishing regimes that put enormous stress on his body.

Throughout his career he has needed multiple surgeries to correct knee, neck and back problems. “Some of the injuries, I believe, did not come from golf,” says Lusetich.

“He went through that crazy phase of wanting to be a Navy Seal and did some dangerous things that hurt both his back and his knee.”

Nevertheless, by 2013 Woods returned to the top of golf’s world rankings. He was dominating the PGA Tour but failed to add to his major tally. No longer feared in the way that he was pre-scandal, he appeared a weaker force on major weekends.

“What happened 10 years ago, I think there was always that aura of invincibility around Tiger, so I think that showed a little bit of a vulnerable side to him,” says Rory McIlroy.

“It humanised him a little bit. It is obviously very hard to come back from something like that from a mental standpoint.”

But as a fellow competitor, McIlroy is also impressed by how Woods coped with the injuries that threatened his career. “He’s been through the wars just with what he’s had to go through physically,” says the current world number two.

“I remember to this day the lunch we had in 2017 and he was sort of talking ‘maybe this is it? Maybe I can’t play anymore’. Then 15 months later he’s winning on the PGA Tour again.”

Weeks after that pessimistic lunch date, on April 20, 2017, Woods had what proved to be a career-saving back fusion operation. It was the last throw of the dice, surgery essentially aimed at making him able to be an active father and family man. If he could compete again as a golfer, that would be a bonus. “It is hard to express how much better I feel,” Woods wrote a month after the procedure, his fourth and most important back surgery.

But, although he was repaired there was more shame to be endured. To cope with the rehab and previous pain, Woods was dependant on a cocktail of painkillers and sedatives. Within days of that upbeat assessment, he consumed a potentially lethal concoction of drugs.

In his system there was Vicodin for pain relief, Dilaudid – a controlled substance to combat severe pain – Xanax to ease anxiety, THC – the active ingredient in marijuana and Ambien to help sleep.

We know this because he was found by Jupiter police slumped at the wheel of his Mercedes car which was parked up with punctured tyres at around 2am on 29 May, 2017.

Video footage of an incoherent, shambolic Woods being questioned by police, handcuffed and put in cells for the night went viral. His puffy-eyed mugshot stared from the front page of pretty much every newspaper.

His DUI (driving under the influence) arrest led to prosecution for reckless driving. There was no alcohol in his system but the episode threatened uncomfortable echoes of his calamitous downfall of 2009.

“The biggest part of his comeback and the one that will get least attention from ‘Camp Tiger’ is that DUI,” insists Lusetich. “I think that was rock bottom.

Woods’ police booking photo after his arrest on suspicion of driving under the influence (DUI)

“When everyone saw him slurring, unable to walk, the great Tiger Woods and that video, there was a sadness to it. It was a tragic vision of a once great but now fallen star.”

Once again Woods needed to put his life back together. He got clean and furthermore found he was able to swing a golf club with freedom. It was a revelation and meant he could do what he always did best – compete.

He came close to winning the 2018 Open at Carnoustie and the US PGA the following month. Then he won the season-ending Tour Championship, eclipsing McIlroy, his playing partner in the final round.

“And fast forward another seven months after that and he’s won another major,” McIlroy says. “I think it’s been incredible.

“I think it shows his character, his mental capacity, his grit that he can come back after all these mishaps, whether it be personal life or the physical injuries that he’s had to endure.”

Woods has reconstructed his whole life since the 2009 crash. Elin divorced him in the wake of the revelations that followed. Between 2013 and 2015 he dated US skier Lindsey Vonn, someone well aware of the unique demands of life in the sporting spotlight. Now the golfer is in a long-term relationship with Erica Herman, general manager of his restaurant in Jupiter, Florida. She was there with his children to greet him at Augusta after Woods won this year’s Masters.

For the champion, the fact that his children were there to witness his 15th major title, his first since the pre-scandal US Open of 2008, was the most thrilling aspect of that extraordinary triumph last April.

“I think he achieved more as a person in the last decade,” says McIlroy. “Think about the wonderful job he has done as a dad to Sam and Charlie.

“That takes up a huge chunk of his time now, trying to be with them as much as possible. He doesn’t travel as much because he doesn’t want to be away from picking them up from school, watching their football matches or any of that.

“That side of him has really blossomed because of all the stuff he’s had to go through,” adds the Northern Irishman.

Earlier this month Woods won again. The Zozo Championship in Japan provided his 82nd PGA Tour success, equalling the record set by the legendary Sam Snead.

The tournament spilled into a fifth day because of weather delays. On the final morning English golfer Ian Poulter warmed up alongside Woods.

Woods is now one PGA Tour success away from setting a new titles record

“He’s amazing,” says the 43-year-old, who has played throughout the Woods era.

“It was as good as I’ve seen Tiger Woods ever hit it. Ever. It was as controlled as I’ve ever seen him,” Poulter adds.

“To listen to the strike, watch the ball flight and to see him finish off that tournament, Tiger has still got it. He doesn’t need his A game, his A minus game is still good enough to get the job done.”

Woods remains deeply private but his image has softened and in a controlled way he lets more people into his life. On Golf TV, where he provides insights for subscribers, he demonstrates previously unseen charm and humour.

“He did a great job of not allowing the human being to come out and be seen,” Lusetich says of Woods’ former life.

“It’s not like he’s an open book these days but things like he does now with Golf TV, and I know they pay him, open him up more and there is more depth to him.”

It has been a remarkable journey over the last decade. From rock bottom, Woods rides high once again. He is a redeemed, restored champion still more vital to his sport than any other player.

Next month he returns to Australia a different man. He captains his country in the Presidents Cup, a Ryder Cup equivalent against the rest of the world outside Europe. He is playing so well he had to pick himself as a wildcard selection.

He turns 44 at the end of this year, a leader and player, fit and fighting and a champion of more substance than the figure who was hiding so many secrets in the first part of his career.

As McIlroy says: “He’s a wonderful ambassador for our game. Everyone involved in golf, you in the media, ourselves as players, equipment manufacturers – everyone benefits from Tiger Woods being at the top of golf.

“I think we should all count ourselves very lucky that he’s still in that position.”

Read More

[dwellboxes-blog]

Hit: Heroes of incredible tales Hack, Cheats - Android and iOS

Hit: Heroes of incredible tales Hack, Cheats - Android and iOS

  Hit: Heroes of incredible tales Hack is a new generation of web based game hack, with it’s unlimited you will have premium game resources in no time, try it and get a change to become one of the best Hit: Heroes of incredible tales players.   Hit: Heroes of incredible tales – guide your …

Source : Hit: Heroes of incredible tales Hack, Cheats - Android and iOS

[gamerzacom-blog]

Hit: Heroes of incredible tales Hack, Cheats - Android and iOS

Hit: Heroes of incredible tales Hack, Cheats - Android and iOS

  Hit: Heroes of incredible tales Hack is a new generation of web based game hack, with it’s unlimited you will have premium game resources in no time, try it and get a change to become one of the best Hit: Heroes of incredible tales players.   Hit: Heroes of incredible tales – guide your …

Source : Hit: Heroes of incredible tales Hack, Cheats - Android and iOS

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT Rewatch: 1X01 - Pilot

Who says you can’t go home?

The “Pilot” of Once Upon a Time is almost divine in how adored it is. I write this intro just as I prepare to press play on it, and I feel an undeniable tension in my heart. Is there anything that can be said about this episode that hasn’t been said a hundred times before? Am I able to say hello again so soon after saying goodbye?

Only one way to find out. *Presses play*

This gets a little long, so I’m going to be a good Tumblarian and stick my thoughts below the cut! Hope you give them a read!

-Press Release There’s no actual press release for the “Pilot,” but let’s be real, we know the deal. Emma Swan, a bail bondsperson has one hell of a 28th birthday when the son she gave up for adoption 10 years ago - Henry Mills - comes to her doorstep. A trip back to Henry’s hometown introduces Emma to an assortment of townspeople and an even more uncanny story of heroes and fairy tales. Meanwhile, in the past, we see Snow White and Prince Charming cope and fight for their love and family as the Evil Queen threatens them with a curse most vile.

-General Thoughts For a series that needs to weave a central theme around at least two separate plots, simplicity can be one’s best friend, and the “Pilot” is the epitome of that. The plots in and of themselves are simple - a war against a tyrant with a major threat in the flashback and a woman who has never had a family now dealing with one being thrown her way. However, it feels so much bigger, and that’s because hanging around our mains are characters and settings that you just know are going to grow in addition to our mains and transform these simple realms into something greater, something epic. Surrounding Snow and Charming during their discussion in the war room are a set of dwarfs, a fairy, and a cricket, and those same characters show up in our world and at the very least, Archie and Graham hold a promise of a larger role if for no other reason than their professions. We are being promised a more epic story without ever taking away time from the main story, and that’s simply incredible. I feel like there’s so much to gush about when it comes to performances, and because I don’t want this to be super long, I’m just going to highlight some of my favorite moments from each actor and actress in a single sentence. Jennifer as Emma walking towards Ryan like she was the God damned Terminator made me laugh hard and it characterized her as someone cool and confident, allowing for later scenes to paint more of her nuances by showing her vulnerabilities and desires for people in her life. Lana as Regina has a commanding presence during the wedding scene and shows off just what kind of threat she will be to all of those in her way going forward. Ginny as Snow giving up her baby and eternally coining the line “her best chance” is heartbreaking in such a profound way and allows the tragedy of their 28-year separation to subtly play out here and more overtly carry weight throughout the rest of the series. Jared as Henry’s pleas to Emma to listen to him convey a sense of innocence and vulnerability that can bring one back to the most frustrating moments of their childhood. Josh as Charming’s determination as he rides upon his steed in those opening moments allow the audience to feel every bit of intensity and immediately give his relationship with Snow - however obvious the turnout will be - some stakes. Finally, last but certainly not least, Bobby’s chilling performance as Rumple in the jail cell - from the movements of his long fingernails toe the sickly sweet way some of his lines come across - make him suo mysterious and scary as well as give Granny’s lines about him owning the town added weight. Finally, on a funnier note, I’m not gonna lie, but I always wanted an episode that would canonize the “prettier than I” line. Come on - throw Leopold in there, we get a bit more nuance into their relationship as well as see the effects on Regina of Leopold’s neglect for her needs over Snow’s and make a Regina/Snow present plot and there could’ve been something cool!

-Insights Here’s something I noticed during the wedding scene - The necklace Regina wears is the same one that Samedi brought to her in 7x12’s flashback. See “Flip My Ship” for my feelings on that, but I will point out that this gives us new insight as to when Facilier and Regina first met, although as she’s seen wearing it as the curse hits, it’s safe to say that at least one, if not both, of them could be replacements. Another thing I noticed shortly after that I just found funny was how during Regina’s speech to the Charmings, a lot of the guests weren’t cowering as much as gently averting their gazes. While watching the war scene, I couldn’t help but contrast it to the one in the finale. Snow lacks all manner of optimism in the one in the premiere, but by the finale, she’s the epitome of optimism! The wolf always seemed really weird to me, and now that I’ve seen its full schtick throughout the seasons, I gotta say, I’m not impressed. At first, it seems like the wolf was supposed to be a protector of Storybrooke, acting as an agent against Regina. But we’ve only seen it a handful of times and it’s acted like more of a MacGuffin than anything. And MacGuffins are fine, but this one was clearly supposed to mean something and it never really did, not even really in relation to what one would think would be its focal character (Graham).

-Arcs It’s hard to do a segment for arcs when a series has just begun because, well - every arc, in essence is beginning! And honestly, they’re all good, so I’m just going to write out the arcs that have been introduced here. Emma journey of belief Snow finding Charming The power struggle against Regina

-Favorite Dynamic Emma and Regina. I wanted to point this out somewhere, but the framing of their dynamic works so well. Parents who adopt children are more parents to a child than the parents who gave them up for adoption (Unless of course the birth parents died). This is something that we (should) fundamentally understand, especially in a case like this. Regina’s lines about changing diapers, enduring tantrums, and the like are true, and we - as well as Emma - sympathize and agree with that. Her position as mayor as well as the mother of a runaway boy also asks us to question our own feelings towards Regina throughout the episode. The animosity also doesn’t happen from the moment Regina and Emma meet. However, the conflict between them is not so simple. Due to both Regina’s harsh attitude and her actions in the Enchanted Forest, there’s an unease as we watch her, and while Emma’s situation in this matter is far from ideal on any level, we trust her and believe in the bond between her and Henry because while there is harshness there, there’s also an understanding. It’s such a nuanced conflict and knowing now where it has ended - in such a state where both mothers can co-parent Henry and enjoy each other’s company - allows for me to enjoy experiencing it again and appreciate the intricate steps taken making their relationship what it was.

-Writers As you all know, this was Adam and Eddy’s first episode, and it’s pretty freakin’ good! Unfortunately, until I’ve examine more of their episodes, I don’t have a lot to say here. The one thing I do want to point out is that - just like Regina in today’s episode - they are really good at making a strong entrance!

-Culture What made the “Pilot” of Once Upon a Time so popular? I didn’t watch this episode during its initial airing, but what I do know about the time it was released was that a lot of the dramas that were released tended to be gritty. There were exceptions like ABC’s Desperate Housewives, but it was a turn for the edgy in media. And then a show like OUaT came out, one that not only promised hope, but actually allowed for a payoff in the first episode, no matter how small it was in terms of plot. The score especially sells it. While there’s a tone of sadness to it, it’s overarching theme is hope, and that come off so clearly as it plays when the time on the clock changes.

-Rating How can I give it anything other than a Golden Apple? For those that didn’t read my intro, that’s essentially 10/10 with an * for it being truly something else. This episode is marvelous from top to bottom and its barely existent weaknesses are naught but nitpicks. Not only that, I feel like it left me with so much. I just wrote two and a half pages about this episode and I still feel like I’ve done a disservice to it. I didn’t talk about how just relatable and charming and magical everyone is. I touched upon performances, but there’s still so much to be said about everyone. How is it that Robert Carlyle wasn’t even on screen for five minutes and still left one of the biggest impacts of anyone, even some of those more featured than he was? I still have loads to say about Henry and Emma’s dynamic (I was tempted to cheat and put them up there too). I could talk into eternity about the parallels and the setups and the goofy moments in the background. I could speak to how even in episode 1, Storybrooke becomes more not of a place, but a character. I want to read all kinds of things into the line “There’s not a lot of things I’m great at in life.” This episode is so great that it makes me feel guilty for not glorifying it enough, and that’s what makes it worthy of a Golden Apple.

-Flip My Ship Shadow Queen - HE HAD HER PILOT NECKLACE!!!! OMG! MY SHADOW QUEEN SHIPPER HEART IS JUMPING FOR JOY! Snowing - Snowing’s connection throughout this episode was just awe inspiring. You feel the connection between them in every word they spoke and every exchange of expressions they held. It’s demonstrated the most clearly when Snow asks Charming to go and see Rumple. Just the way that she says “him,” and with a look, you just see how he gets it. At the same time, they’re not without conflict and distinctions between the two of them. They have disagreements and act on their own, but are still unmistakably meant for each other. There are many relationships on the show that attempt realism, and even Snowing itself in Storybrooke will encounter that, but moments like these paint Snowing as fantastical and paint a picture of romance here that becomes iconic. Swan Queen - I love me some FoeTP’s and their’s was one hell of a start! The ambiguity of Regina’s intentions and motives as well as sprinkles of selfishness and coldness with and on Emma’s part make their chemistry truly delightful! I reflected on what I liked about them above in my “Dynamics” section, but everything there works fully down here too.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

And that about covers my thoughts on the premiere! I promise you that future posts won’t be nearly as long (Fingers crossed. This took quite a few hours to put together). Hope you liked them and thanks once more to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales for putting this rewatch together! Season Tally (10/220) Writer Tally for Season 1: A&E (10/70)

[justanotherbuckydevotee]

‘Hate To See Your Heart Break’

Word Count: 2,711 words (with lyrics) Warning(s): Angst. Sad stuff. Yelling. idek. Summary: You come home to confront the man who broke your heart. A/N: Didn’t think you’d enjoy the angst on the previous one (’: Thank you so much for reading! Here’s the FINALE!! I really hope I did it justice. Happy Reading!

masterlist

part 1 - ‘Perfect’ part 2 - ‘Hate To See Your Heart Break’

There is not a single world In the whole world That could describe the hurt The dullest knife just sowing back and forth And ripping through the softest skin there ever was

There’s just silence in the car now.

Natasha doesn’t say anything as she sneaks a peek at your quiet form, head turned to face the window, barely watching the view of Upstate New York passing by. There’s still some tears smudging your make up down your cheeks but it’s slowly ceasing, only to be replaced by an agonizing ache in your heart where every beat felt like a knife piercing and twisting inside of you.

You can’t allow yourself to cry right now, not when the person you’d allegedly thought was to blame is driving you to safety. Your heart is breaking from the events that took place and the accusation you made at the beginning. You’re angry and frustrated, yet wounded and distressed. Guilty and despondent.

It’s all so much for you take in and understand, the weight of it all crushing your brain from making sense of everything. Your temple physically throbs at the whole ordeal, making you run your hands over your head.

Your world has crashed around you, that Bucky has done what he did, and the women you thought would be with him is actually saving you from him.

Natasha is lost for words. She doesn’t know what to say to you when she hears you shuffle in your seat, not knowing what to do to comfort you. She’s just mindlessly driving around, not really sure where you would want to go. She suspects, however, that the apartment you share with Bucky is the last place you’d want to go back to, not wanting to face him as raw, unfiltered emotions swirl inside of you, swallowing you in a tidal wave.

How were you to know? Oh how were you to know?

“It’s not your fault” Natasha murmurs, trying her damn hardest to provide some sort of consolation to you right now.

But you saw the warning signs, hadn’t you? Had seen the tell-tale signs that was screaming at you in the beginning. It’s clear now that the harsh whispers of your insecurities had been right, that it was rationality begging you to listen. You’d foolishly listened to your heart instead, mistaking small moments of tenderness for love, when they were just distractions for your mind, to throw you off your senses.

You’d let this happen to yourself, had let a man blind you from seeing reality in its sharp focus, had allowed him to touch you, feel you, destroy you.

“It is” you quietly tell her.

Love happens all the time To people who aren’t kind And heroes who are blind Expecting perfect script in movie scenes Who wants an awkward silence mystery?

She furrows her eyebrows at your statement, confused for a moment because how the hell would this be your fault? After all, the one who cheated in this relationship wasn’t you; you weren’t the one trailing kisses on a stranger’s body, you weren’t the one who’d continuously lied. From where she is, she can’t understand how you’re blaming yourself for this because you’re right here internally holding back the pieces of your broken heart in your own hands.

“I knew it was coming” you admitted amidst her thinking. “I even thought” you paused for a moment before you croaked “I even thought he was with you”. The harsh words of your accusation stings your throat, leaving a bitter after taste on your tongue.

Of everything she’s done, it seemed as though your allegation hurts her the most. Though she understands where it may have stemmed from, it still hurts her that you’d think of her like that. The past she shared with Bucky was just that, a past.

You move in your seat as a filled-silence blanketed over the both you. Natasha’s demeanor is cool and calm when you carefully turn to look at her, as if your words hadn’t actually pained her, hadn’t actually felt like a major slap in the face. She knows you’re waiting for her to respond like any normal person would when accused to this extent, but Natasha Romanoff isn’t any normal person.

Instead she parks the car on a nearby lake she visits often, a tranquil space that’s tucked between the trees and winding roads.

“I know it’s easy to suspect us together” she begins, her eyes looking at the view ahead of her. “Given our history” she continues, before tearing her attention fully to you. “But (y/n) I want you to know I would never do that to you. To anyone”

You simply nod, heat creeping its way from your back and licking your neck, clearly embarrassed that you’d thought of her in that light. She didn’t say it like she was chiding you though, but rather stating a matter of fact, like one plus one equaled to two, as if you hadn’t actually wounded her.

So you apologize for thinking like that, for conjuring a scenario that would never happen, an alternate reality you’d imagined simply because so many had associated them both together.

“I can’t believe this happened” you cried before swallowing thickly the lump in your throat. “I trusted him, you know? When he’s been doing that behind my back”

Natasha places her hand on your knee.

“It happens to the best of us” she says, her green eyes etched with the same pain you were enduring.

And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes, get darker as they close But I’ve been there before And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes, get darker as they close But I’ve been there before

You let her words sink in, understand the underlying meaning behind them. If you weren’t so caught up in your own emotions, you’d have the sense to laugh lightly at her because how can someone be cruel to this kind women? Who would want to trade The Natasha Romanoff for anything else? She’s this incredible person whose past may be tainted with red that was forced upon her, but is now trying her damn hardest to clean it up. What sane person would want to give up on this beautiful and strong women sitting timidly in front of you?

“Is there anywhere you’d like me to take you?” she asks once you’ve steadied yourself, retrieving her hand to the steering wheel as she revives the engine back to life.

There’s really only one place in this city that you call your own, even if it means it’s shared with a man that’s broken your heart into tiny splinters.

“My apartment, I guess” “Are you sure?”

You exhale slowly. “Where else is there to go?”

When the green trees and empty roads start to change to a scenery you’re familiar with, you’re dreading the decision you’ve made. But honestly where else is there to go? You’d completely made your life revolve around him when you got together, your friends now just your co-workers that you’d only see during office hours.

It doesn’t take long until you’re right in front of your complex, the soaring brick-building looking down at you intimidatingly, making you feel so much smaller than you already are.

“Thank you” you tell her when her car stops right in front of the entrance, before stepping out of the car and into the building.

When the front door opens, Bucky is both relieved and petrified. He stands up immediately from his seat, had been expecting your arrival for hours knowing you’d eventually come home. Your eyes land on Bucky standing in the middle of the living room. Just mere hours ago you’d witness him betray you with his lips attached on another women’s body. The recollection of that fresh memory sends another wave of tears, but you will not shed them, not in front of the man who caused it all, even though your red rimmed eyes say otherwise.

For a moment you both just stare at each other wordlessly; he doesn’t know what to say and you’re too hurt to be mad at him. His eyes flashed with sorrow at hurting you, again, this time. It seems as though that’s all he’s good at; hurting the people he cared about.

Just as he’s about to say something, anything, you will your feet to move to the bedroom, not wanting to look at him for a second longer. You’re about to close the door behind you but Bucky’s followed you there, holding the door with his open palm.

“Please say something to me”

You wrap your arms around you, not wanting his fingertips to touch you in any way possible, distancing yourself from him as you moved away, the heat of his skin so close to you making your skin crawl. Bucky stops when he sees you recoil, standing at the door now.

You take a seat on the bed –the bed you shared with him, where some mornings were greeted with his arms wrapped around your waist, where the nights you both talked about your dreams and aspirations, where you shared the love you thought he had for you too.

It’s these fond memories you shared that made your tears break like a dam. How could he have done this to you? How could he have made you share a part of your soul to him so intimately when he was sharing himself with someone else? You wanted answers with each stream of salty tears down your cheeks, with each thump of your heart.

“Why, Bucky?”

It was weak coming from between your sobs, and it absolutely destroys him to see how much damage he’d done to you.

“Was I not enough?” you asked, looking up at him with all your vulnerability. “Was what we have not real for you?” you pushed, your emotions gripping your heart as you confided in him your insecurities in those two simple questions.

“Of course it was” he began, but you cut him off immediately.

“Then why’d you cheat on me?!” you shrieked, anger winning over your sadness now, taking control over your system as your hands grab hold of the pillows on your bed, throwing it aimlessly in his direction. It lands on his feet, until one hits his broad chest before another is thrown directly to his face. He catches it in the last second. You’re in hysteric and he doesn’t blame you from feeling that emotion.

“Why would you hurt me like this?!” you screamed your heart out, not caring that he’d grimaced at the crack of your voice.

When your hands are empty, you stomp your way to him, balling your fist as you repeatedly hit him, arms flailing around. “You don’t hurt the one you love, Bucky!”

In truth he can’t really feel much, but he knows you’re hurting yourself more at the physical exertion. It’s your words that manages to pierce him deeper than any knife that’s impaled him, burning hotter than any bullet that’s passed through him.

When everything in front of him is distorting, becoming blurry at the edges does he realize that he too was crying. So he catches both your arms, circling his hands gently around your wrist to stop you from hurting yourself.

“I know that” he spoke, swiftly moving his hands over to cup your face when you squirm at his touch. “I know I hurt you” he admitted as he inhales sharply.

He had hurt you

It’s listening to his own trembling voice at acknowledging the fact that shocks him to the very core.

“I love you, and I hurt you” he continues when you stop trying to get away from his hold, the warm tears free falling. “It absolutely kills me that I caused you this much pain, (y/n), it really does”

He’s running his thumb over your cheeks to wipe the tears, and you vaguely see his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows the burning lump in his throat. You’re both devastated, standing in the room where love once was shared, where the both of you found solace, built a safe haven. But now it’s destroyed into nothing but shards of broken hearts.

For all the air that’s in your lungs For all the joy that is to come For all the things that you’re alive to feel Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal

You brought your hand up to his cheek making Bucky lean into your touch, even though he is fully aware that he doesn’t deserve your kindness. God, how did he get so lucky with you? But all too soon you pull away, and he doesn’t fight back to have you in his arms, because he knows he’s lost this fight.

You wipe your face with your bare hands, not bothering with mascara smearing your cheeks. You’re a mess but you don’t care.

“I want you out of here” you state, not wanting to look up at those blue eyes for fear you’d cave into him. “Now” you demand before the surge of adrenaline from your anger completely disappears. He hears your request but he’s still glued to the spot. The world he knows, the one where he has you in it, is gone now. He will no longer have a place he’ll be able to call his own, where a haunting pass isn’t tainted in them, a shelter from everything that doesn’t have HYDRA smeared in it –the Avengers, beyond SHIELD, beyond Steve.

And there’s absolutely nobody to put the blame on but him.

“Just go, Bucky. Please” you plead. It’s only when you hear him grab a duffel bag from the closet and throwing it on the bed that you step out of the room, the atmosphere in the confines of the four walls looming over you like a grey cloud that’s threatening to erupt.

How long it took him to pack everything he has here, to get rid of any traces of him in the home you both shared. Bucky can’t help but to grab a photo frame on the bedside table, where it held a black and white picture of the two of you, eyes wide with excitement and lips etched into broad smiles. He remembers that moment; Steve had captured it using his polaroid when you went to the carnival. Though it was early in the relationship, he’d insisted on introducing you to his best friend, to Steve.

His heart clenches tightly in his chest.

Grabbing more of his belongings, he quickly zips the bag close, patting it once more to ensure the picture was safely inside.

When he comes out, laden with his stuff and guilt, he sees you standing with your back facing him, leaning your arms on the kitchen sink.

He wants to say he’s sorry, that he’d want nothing more than to reverse time and start again. But he refrains himself from saying so. What good would it bring? He’s done enough damage and he knows you don’t want to hear more excuses coming out from his mouth.

You hear his footsteps behind you, but it’s taking everything inside of you not to turn because you know you’ll regret it. You don’t want to have this moment to be the last thing you remember of Bucky Barnes, not wanting to see the last of him in this light. The picture of him standing before the front door with his bag, ready to leave you behind, is not one you want to see.

When you have yet to turn around, Bucky takes it as a sign. So he opens the door slowly, a part of him needing you to just look at him one last time. But still you’re stubborn with your decision.

“Good bye, (y/n)” he mumbles his final goodbye before closing the door securely. His words still echo in your head long after the sun sets, the sky replaced with a velvet blue dusted with stars. You’re immobile, not wanting to believe that the love of your life had just walked out, leaving you nothing but his ghost in the apartment you once shared.

Forever.

tagging: Angst Royalty Network @captnbarnesrogers @buckyywiththegoodhair @hellomissmabel @minervaem @rotisserierogers @alphaabucky @buchananbarnestrash @barnes-heaven @heartmade-writingbucky || Permanent Babes @lovely-geek @iamwarrenspeace @sarahp879 || For This @tienna-laufeyson16 @kgbrenner @antoniamarie1989-blog @thisiskayworld @aweways @@ncoleys  @justreadingfics @petah-parkah-and-potahtas @901seconds

Please send an ask or message if you’d like to be tagged in future writings or to scream at me. Thank you for reading! 

[heroballzguide]

Hero Ball Z Cheats

Hero Ball Z Guide

Hero Ball Z manual turned into lately released. So test the titles and the descriptions of whatever films you can locate to look if they are selling the video through using the promise of codes. Proper now, due to the fact that this recreation is present day, there are no new coupon codes, promo codes, or other types which have been given away but. Hold checking lower back though, as whilst we discover discounts, we can be the primary to interrupt the news and supply them to you. Make certain to check the comment sections as well, as whilst gamers locate codes, they may publish them there. "[30] another evaluate became published with the aid of italian spaziogames. This evaluate praised storytelling, soundtrack and expolorativeness. Then again, it criticised the sport for being too easy and lacking gameplay. [31] 212fahrenheit overview praised the game for its gameplay, ecosystem and incredible soundtrack. Some other factor of praise is a tale that is open to interpretation. The evaluate also stated that the gameplay is pretty confined. [32] what is your tag? Overview determined gameplay a piece repetitive at instances but referred to that new standards in sport are added in true durations which enables. You will be able to report yourself whereas completing the boring play and replay them over again when needed with most effective one keypress. So find out the fascinating half of, ignore the monotony. Bluestacks script has created an high-quality tale for automating repetitive responsibilities. With a fixed of instructions, some automated duties might be done to execute the movement. You'll be able to installation Hero Ball Z to your android system and revel in it from our web web page, the button below. It's rated for 12+ age with affordable violence. Black fishes had been once white but they came throughout to black mass. It turned them to black and made them aggressive. It additionally turned gray to black. He then initiated the campaign to exterminate white fishes. Hero returns to the dominion of crimson where he meets red queen. They may be attacked through black and forced to overcome a "race" with him. In the long run they escape. Collectively they get to the center of the kingdom wherein crimson queen profits new energy so that they launch attack which pushes black fishes from a local nest. Within the "trade center", you can trade the "union coins" for ssr, sr, "professional piece", and "novice piece". Heroes are to be had in more than one levels; ssr tier, sr tier, and r-tier. Ssr tier and sr tier characters have greater strength than r-tier characters. Maintain merging the tier 10 novices to get random-tier heroes. You could earn superstar coins, celeb coins, rubies, manufacturing boost price ticket, studies cash, and lots of other rewards with the aid of completing the every day quests. Do you like playing cell video games? 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In the higher-left nook, faucet the extent badge -> beneath the level bar, you may see the stage that you should clear. Level up and unencumber new functions which includes "drone", "commander", schooling, "type battles", etc. You'll be capable of play the raid mode that offers you coins and union cash. Hearts plans a "prevalent seed" on universe eleven to drain it is energy as he sends enemies throughout universe 6 and three. Vegeta, trunks and the combatants of universe 6 face against android siblings oren and kamin, who eventually fuse into "kamioren" while cooler, now converted into "meta cooler", fights towards cunber in universe 3. the fight on universe 6 is finally taken to universe eleven. Goku arrives on universe 11 with a few manage over extremely intuition. Vegeta manages to defeat kamioren together with his evolved super saiyan blue. When you have any hints, please sense loose to ship it to us at joycity.oqupie.com/portals/812. We will be happy to hear from you. You may now watch up to four advertisements in a row! - overall 60 min auto for complete functionality of this web site it's miles necessary to permit javascript. Right here are the instructions how to enable javascript in your web browser. By checking this box you certify that you are over 13 years of age and confirm that you have read, understood and agree to comply with happygamer's terms of carrier and privacy coverage joycity has announced pre-registrations are to be had for its upcoming cellular sport Hero Ball Z. Primarily based on your region, we suggest that you choose: . Choose the china web page (in chinese or english) for satisfactory website performance. Different mathworks u . S . A . Web sites aren't optimized for visits out of your location. The web page you are seeking out might have been eliminated, had its call changed, or is temporarily unavailable. Stuck on this recreation? Ask a question below and let different gamers solution your question or view solutions to formerly asked questions. If you assume you are an expert then please try to assist others with their questions. It forces the pre-hero protagonist to go back and keep the sector. Check out the opening movie to get a vibe of its world placing. "Hero Ball Z" consists of a extensive kind of characters from joycity's another cellphone hit, sport of dice. Gamers can gather those lovely anime-style heroes, upgrade them, then use them to fight bosses. You can also assume the regular rpg stuff, including the characters' detail kind, their buffs and greater. The simple gameplay requires you to mix heroes with the same tier to generate a more powerful hero. Don't get happy too early whilst you get an sr/ssr, with its 4* form he will most likely be weaker than your 5/6* r's. The game is constantly creating a competition for everything and everywhere. Your first 2 weeks of playing are literally a sprint competition. (after playing some time you realize that the rewards are cheap, but the impulse made you spend in the beginning). Soft-launch/beta i assume? The social media just went active so i assume the events only started with the official launch, assuming data carried over.

[ncfan-1]

2017 Fic Retrospective

This was another difficult year for fic writing, but many of the fics were rewarding to write.

I am calculating total word count a bit differently this year. I didn’t write as much fic as I have in certain past years, but I wrote a lot of meta, and I devoted a lot of time to writing that meta, probably as much time as I devoted to writing fic (One of my meta posts wound up being over 10,000 words long). So while the meta I wrote isn’t going to factor into the count for total number of completed stories, any meta post I published that’s over 500 words long is going to factor into the word count.

Total Number of Completed Stories: 36, with 32 posted to AO3 and 4 of them posted to my Dreamwidth, but not to AO3. 34 of them are complete, while two are WIPs, though I don’t know when I’m going to write more for them; one of them is just a conceptual prologue, with the story idea needing to be reworked, and the other was just sort of flying off half-cocked because, uh, reasons.

Total Word Count:

For fic: 159,867 words; 143,525 (AO3) + 16,342 (Dreamwidth) For meta: 92,704 words over 66 meta posts. Total: 252,571 words

Fandoms Written In: Star Wars, Star Wars: Rogue One, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Star Wars: Rebels, Umineko no naku koro ni, Star Wars: KOTOR II, The Silmarillion, Lord of the Rings, Samurai Jack, Star Wars: Tales of the Jedi, Batman, DuckTales (2017), Natsume Yuujinchou, Star vs. The Forces of Evil, OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes, Gotham (Fox)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? Less. Part of that is because I went back to college this year, but part of it is just… again, reasons.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

As usual, I am going to do a top five instead of just picking one. So here is my top five, in particular order:

1. All Held in Doubt: Writing from Star’s perspective was satisfying, because she’s someone who I think perceives her surroundings in something somewhat close to the same way I do. Portraying Eclipsa as the most ambiguous character imaginable, with Star both being ambivalent about her and wanting to trust her (but knowing she should withhold judgment for the time being) was a fun challenge. I also like the imagery I used in this fic.

2. Simple Wants: Tar-Vanimeldë is a troll, a troll, a troll.

3. Professor Venomous vs. Roller Skates: Trying to guess what Professor Venomous would act like when he wasn’t under stress, wasn’t annoyed and was spending time relaxing with his kid (let’s be real, that’s what Fink is to him, even if he says she’s his minion) was fun. Writing his incredibly jaundiced assessment of that disco-themed skating rink was also fun.

4. a fish, floundering on dry land: When writing Tolkien fic, I rarely venture into the LoTR side of the legendarium, but this was fun. Especially intercutting it with a version of the tale of Imrazôr and Mithrellas.

5. Game Night in Cell Block A: This is a fic series, rather than a single fic, so maybe this is cheating. But the three fics in the series have a unifying theme, namely the evolving relationship between Sabine Wren and Fenn Rau, between ‘The Protector of Concord Dawn’ and ‘Imperial Supercommandos’, and a little while afterwards. I got to play around with head canon and world-building, and an interesting character dynamic. Also, I couldn’t choose between the three of them.

Did you take any writing risks this year? Again, unless you count writing for new fandoms and writing about incredibly minor characters very few, if any people, care about, no, not really.

Do you have any fanfic or ofic goals for the New Year? Will 2018 finally be the year in which I give no fucks? Well, 2017 was the year I acquired my first hate-ship, it was the year I started shipping Reylo and in the last few days of the year I began writing a multi-chapter fic for my Silm crackotp. I’m going to take these as good omens for the new year. I’m going to write more of the crackship, more of my other favorite ships, and just more of the stuff I want to write.

My best story of this year: That’s hard to say. Really hard to say. I have a lot of fics this year that I really liked, but I liked a lot of them nearly equally. I’m going to pick one that I didn’t post in the top 5, and say Not As You Remember. Writing Ursa Wren was an interesting exercise.

My most popular story of this year: By hits and kudos, Somewhere Else to Go, with 476 hits and 69 kudos. By comment threads, Far From Home, with six comment threads. Overall, I’d say the former was more popular. People seem to want to see Lena and Mrs. Beakley interact.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe: Brave Face. I know Aravir is literally just a name on a genealogical chart, but it was still a bit disappointing that this fic got so little attention. I’m not including the fics I posted to Dreamwidth and not AO3 in this calculation. They’ve gotten no attention, but I posted them only to Dreamwidth precisely because I only wanted the people who knew enough about me to go looking through my Dreamwidth to see them. (My Dreamwidth account is open to the public, but I don’t widely advertise it.)

Most fun story to write: Probably a tie between All Held in Doubt, Professor Venomous vs. Roller Skates, and In Service of the Republic.

Story with the single sexiest moment: That’s a laugh.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: what you become shifted my perceptions of a character who’s halfway to being an OC (she’s a textual ghost, which means she must necessarily exist, but has never been elaborated on in canon), so yeah, this one definitely qualifies.

Hardest story to write: Under the Surface and Bookends are tied for this one.

Biggest Disappointment: Probably just beneath the surface. There isn’t a lot of fic about this particular part of the old EU, and not a lot of fic about Nomi Sunrider, but I had hoped that I could write something more engaging than this wound up being.

Biggest Surprise: There were a lot of surprises this year. I got into a lot of new fandoms this year, including a few I didn’t think I ever would. Star vs. the Forces of Evil, for instance. I’d honestly found the ads I’d seen for that show obnoxious, and thought they set the tone for the show; I got into the show because I heard about Eclipsa, and she is just my kind of character. Never have I been so glad to be wrong about a show’s ads setting the tone for the show itself. But I do not hope to know again tops either of the Star vs. fics I wrote this year, because I typically need to like a canon a lot better than I like Gotham to want to write fic for it.

[keaneoneil-blog]

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