#His IMPerial Majesty Ruler of ALL the Things

[photozoi]

His IMPerial Majesty, Ruler of ALL the Things, and Keeper of the Cookies, just checking in with everyone to make sure you are all ok. (And wanting to show off his newest bling).

Introducing the Crown Prince of Beans, who insisted he also be given a photo shoot like his Favourite Uncle.

"Just because you got to wear mine Majesty Hat does not mean you get to haz on mine shiny Neck Stuff! Some stuff haz to be earned!" Gives the Bean the Evil Eye.

(The Imp is still out of sorts with me for putting his Majesty Hat on the Mungster. He shares everything with his Nephew, but apparently his Majesty stuff is off limits and now I am out of favour. Who knew?!)

Silken Windhounds

[photozoi]

Lord Foog the 7st, His IMPerial Majesty, Ruler of ALL the Things and Keeper of the Cookies. Oh, and Queen of the Faeries! Silken Windhound edition.

borzoi royalty 

[skitskatdacat63]

catie I NEED more vettonso lore for your au. please. (love u)

Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! C!!! Thank you so much for asking!! This took me a bit cause there’s a lot of stuff I want to cover and I had to figure out how to balance the explanation of the historical context and how I apply it to my AU. But seriously thank you for asking because I did more research to write this post and learned a lot of things that make me feel deranged but I cannot bring any of this up to anyone irl without sounding like a lunatic. I’d apologize for the length but you should expect this from me by now! (I realized this doc for this was 1.5k+ my god)

Basic Info: early 1700s historical AU with arranged marriage plot 

Historical Context:

Okay, so this AU is based on a real historical event: The War of The Spanish Succession. Which is when the Spanish Throne was without a clear line of succession because the bloodline(Spanish Habsburgs) died out. So then, even though the previous Spanish King named his successor(Philip V, a Duke related to the French Royal family - representing Fernando in this AU), the Habsburgs still thought they should be allowed to keep the throne within their dynasty, thus offering up the second son(Charles VI - representing Seb in this AU) of the Holy Roman Emperor. So obviously they had to start a war because of it. But then the end result ended up being that because Charles VI’s older brother, the Holy Roman Emperor at the time, died during the war(because of illness though so it would have happened regardless), he became the next Emperor and Philip V ended up becoming the Spanish King after all, rendering it all pointless imo.

How does this relate to Vettonso?:

I'm not overly interested in either Charles VI and Philip V as people, but rather the roles they fulfill in this conflict, but obv I can’t help but draw on details from their lives. As I mentioned, Fernando is now Fernando I of Renault/France Spain and Seb is Sebastian I of Red Bull Austria. This is supposed to be like 2010-2012!Vettonso with Ferrari!Fernando and RBR!Seb(but like Fernando's title of Duke coming from France, because of his championships with Renault.) This AU is kinda just me looking at this historical event and thinking: wouldn’t a gay arranged marriage solve this succession quandary? But also just that it reminds me of Fernando and Seb’s rivalry, and the nationalities/kingdoms fit pretty well!!

Think about the throne of Spain as akin to winning a race, but becoming Holy Roman Emperor as winning the whole entire competition.(Also side note: real life Charles VI didn’t become a king until he became Emperor and adopted all of his brother’s titles, but I want Seb to be a boy king in this AU, so he can have a title as a treat.) Imagine you’re competing for something and you win it, but the only reason you win is because the other competitor won an even bigger prize!!!! Yay you got what you wanted but the boy king is now the emperor of most of Europe. And now you are stuck with him through lawfully wedded arranged marriage because they let you have what you wanted but only under the condition that the two kingdoms are still united. Yeah Fernando got the title, but Seb gained even more titles(get it???) 

They probably have a lot of animosity coming into the marriage, like “how could I ever build a relationship with the man who tried to steal my birthright?” but then realize they’re pretty similar after all. Though obviously Fernando has a lot more resentment than Seb because Seb won the whole damn thing! He would have control over Spain as he’s the king but since it's still within the domain of the empire, Seb would always have the final say. And Seb tries to be magnanimous like “Don’t worry, I won’t interfere”, and Fernando is all snide with comments like “Oh thank you great imperial majesty, can I really? Would you really allow me to do so?” But eventually become loving co-rulers that still constantly snipe at each other over different decisions the other makes. 

Some headcanons(I guess you’d still call it headcanons even if it's your own AU bcs it still comes from your head) + some fun facts from real life that have brainrotted me so I’m putting them in:

Their dynamic is just Seb being a very righteous, bratty boy king emperor who is unabashed about being that way, because he feels that it is his right, but still has a heart of gold and wants to treat his husband well no matter the circumstances leading to their marriage. And then Fernando is like a stray cat that keeps hissing and scratching because it’s really hard for him to accept the circumstances because he still feels humiliated, even though he got everything he wanted, but he still can’t help but be charmed by this baby emperor because he sees attributes of himself in Seb, and can’t really fault him because he would be the exact same, flaunting his power, if he were in Seb’s shoes. 

They would have to speak in French to each other because that’s their shared language but eventually attempt to learn each other’s native languages! Imagine Seb has to travel to Spain to give some Emperor speech and Fernando then bullies him for his bad Spanish. 

They would probably split where they live based on a schedule or by need. Yes, Fernando is the King of Spain but he is also the Emperor’s husband so he does have to spend time in the capital, Vienna. And then since Spain is a part of the empire, Seb has to go routinely, but y’know also to spend time with his husband. They find that their marriage as well as their politics is full of having to make concessions and compromises in order to make it work. 

Something I find funny is that as compensation for not getting the Spanish throne back, Spain had to cede some Italian territories to the Empire. That is literally the Ferrari plot with the transfer from Fernando to Seb!!

I’m not sure how the titles would work in this AU because obviously a m/m political marriage has not ever happened(as far as I know.) But I guess Fernando would just be King Fernando I of Spain and then Seb would be Holy Roman Emperor Sebastian I with the million titles that come with being in that role(though like most importantly Archduke of Austria and King of Bohemia and Hungary, etc.) I like the idea that Seb tries to share some titles with Fernando as a show of good will but Fernando is so affronted, mostly just from embarrassment, like “oh you think I need your good will?? I can’t be happy with what I earned in my own right??” But their kids would receive both titles and would be split in the traditional way, like first kid getting it all mostly, but the others still being nobility obv(yes.. there would be mpreg because of the plot need for succession….don’t ask who…)

They bond through their love of horses, particularly fast horses. The first time they go riding together, they’re both like awkwardly trying to act very proper as a sense of showmanship to the other like “I’m more mature than you”, but then can’t stop trying to get ahead of the other person and eventually break into a full-on race. Their aids are mutually like “oh god, they’re both the same type of insane.” 

Irl Charles VI was so salty about losing the throne that he wouldn’t stop dressing like a traditional Spanish monarch. I can totally see Seb doing that and Fernando getting so pissed with him like “you became emperor!! What more could you possibly want???’ and Seb then fixing him with his biggest pout and saying “your throne!” But also Fernando being weirdly into it because it’s basically Seb presenting himself blatantly as Fernando’s spouse. 

In that same vein, I’m going crazy over how there’s a painting from before the war, of Philip V wearing vestments from both the French order of chivalry and the Habsburg order of chivalry. Like basically stating the desire to see those two lines combined into one kingdom, which fits so well into this AU. Just Seb going crazy over how Fernando is willingly branding himself as belonging to Seb’s house. 

A testimony of Philip V’s personality is that he was a “neurotic, vacillating ruler, concerned with outward decorum and brave only in battle,” god can you not sense the energy of Fernando in that statement???

Very important to me that Charles VI reportedly had many male lovers, and that his soulmate was one of his courtiers. Maybe there can be a bit of Martian or Sebson cheating plot with them being his courtiers hahaha  

Not very relevant in this AU but there’s something about how Philip V had the longest ever reign of a Spanish monarch. Is that not Fernando??? Old man who will rule on forever, or should I say, forever keep his seat 

I already obv posted the wip for this but I'll include it here again as visual rep hehehe:

I've spent way too much time lately trying to research the fashion of the time ugh. But this, as I said, is like first joint portrait session into the marriage. And I guess I kind of want them to be wearing their corronation clothing, which I'm pretty solid on for Seb but still need to research more for Fernando. I think I'll maybe try and just put him in the afformentioned traditional Spanish monarch clothing, but the fact that it's all black kinda bores me, I'd rather he wear red!! This is like a typical royal couple type pose, except they're being more tactile. Also there's something to be said about the symbolism of Fernando being the one standing and Seb being the one sitting hehehe....

[tavina-writes]

Hitting you up because I want to hear more about Emperor Qianlong's art collection! My two big all-consuming hobbies are drawing and reading about history, so I pretty much can't get enough of either topic

OH OH where to BEGIN with Qianlong and his love of the arts???? And also okay he historically is SUCH a funky guy idk where to even begin on how much I love cool and kind of failflop Qianlong facts. If you want to know about his hilarious terrible poetry I leave you with this poem he wrote about cucumbers: 

It is the best ingredient on the plate in Beijing;

I tasted it lately in February, but how can I give it a review?

Weighing down the trellis, and embellishing the fence, it looks so beautiful,

The rural landscape contains true feelings.

No this isn’t any better in Chinese. You can find it and other Qianlong poetry roasts here.

Okay, I don’t know if Qianlong’s art collection/paintings created for him can be contained in a single answer, BUT, I’ll do my best! 

Emperor Qianlong was an avid patron of the arts, and his collection of paintings, jade pieces, and other antiques remain one of the greatest reasons why we still have a lot of the pieces on display around the world today. He was also in the habit of writing on/stamping his personal seal on his favorite paintings and art pieces, and some of these repeatedly viewed paintings (with his notes/thoughts/writings) also preserve great portions of his life, which is a really intimate look into him as a person especially throughout time. We rarely get this sort of information from a ruler since MOST imperial writing has been edited/was meant to present to other people. He also liked to take landscape paintings with him on his travels to compare the landscapes in the paintings to their irl presentation.

His habit of turning his favorite paintings into diaries is NOT a common practice btw, most people didn’t deface the paintings in their collections. (Okay they might put their personal stamp on it to explain that they own it, but WRITING NEW SHIT ON IT? nah.) 

Art historians, btw, have been in argument about his practice of defacing paintings and basically being in conversation with them ON the painting itself, since practically the time he started doing this about if it’s destroying the art or enhancing it somehow. He was just. SUCH a guy. 

(He uh, may also have used coercion, threats, and force to acquire some of these because he was the emperor and he wanted them. This behavior was normal for emperors but his obsession with art and antiques was slightly less normal. Like, this man was IN LOVE with art.) 

The OTHER hilarious thing about Qianlong was that while he LOVED paintings and antiques and poetry and art he uh, well okay see the above roast re his poetry but he wasn’t very good at any of these things per se. (For example, there are multitudes of stories about how he’d get really happy about a certain painting or antique in his collection, only to discover that it was a GREAT forgery or a fake or not actually all that old and oh here’s the actual thing your majesty this is the real one and be SO embarrassed by this new knowledge that he’d just KEEP BOTH and pretend nothing was wrong. Like just WHAT a guy. What a guy lmao.) 

Qianlong also really loved western style paintings and painters. For example, Giuseppe Castiglione was one of his favorite court painters (Chinese Name Lang Shining) and did these two paintings of Emperor Qianlong:

These two paintings are like, some of my favorite things because like, the combination of east and west, and utilization of like, different techniques and perspectives is !!!! in my brain. Like, it’s incredible and I love it so much. 

Qianlong also incorporated a lot of western style architectural elements in his redesign and beautification of Yuanmingyuan and had a REALLY interesting life overall, but this is getting kind of long so 😂I’ll leave off for now. 

Feel free to ask about anything that sounds interesting about this though! I love to ramble. 

[photozoi]

"Look out, Punchie, they're on to us!"

His IMPerial Majesty, Ruler of ALL the Things and Keeper of the Cookies, another of those blindly* worshiped critters.

*(When I can't find my corrective lenses.... )

This person is unironically trying to convince everyone that Dogs are Bad™ but all they're doing is making dogs sound cool as fuck

[talesofmetalandmagic]

Azir the Soft

Like I mentioned in the past, wee bby Azir was TERRIFIED of Nasus and Renekton.

Wouldn’t you?

Imagine being a smol bean of 5, a rotund bundle of squishable cheeks, big goo goo eyes, tiny hands, long pristine dreadlocks and a way too heavy gold hairband, and coming across a giant hound and a giant alligator trying to shake your hand.

Azir would curl up into a small ball of sobs and try to blend into the wall hoping they’d not catch him. Nasus and Renekton, being both childless, would awkwardly try to coax him into coming out of that ball. After all mama and dad are nowhere to be found – emperors have better things to do than parent their kids, and so do boomers – and the young prince must learn at once.

“Oh don’t cry, sweetie.”

“Yeah, don’t cry! Give me a smile! Like THIS!”

“Renekton you made it worse!”

“I just smiled, for Shurima’s sake”

“Yes, but with fangs… oh, forget it. Come here, little prince. It’s ok… see? It’s warm.”

“Aww, what an adorable little thing. C’mere!”

“Renekton STOP!”

As an adult, Azir never had this problem. He long considered which form he’d take as an Ascended. Maybe a dog like Nasus… but that would make him less unique. A snake perhaps, snakes are cool… but they’re also kinda sorta seen as negative animals. A cat? Azir loves cats – who doesn’t? – and cats are refined and proud like emperors… but they have a connotation with laziness that wouldn’t fit a ruler. A goat? They’re spiritual animals, indicative of wisdom… but they’re also helpless prey, and an Emperor should be a predator. What about… a bird of prey? Yes, a hawk would do. Majestic, fierce, always on top of the world. I feel like a hawk.

So, being a hawk, Azir travels Shurima with his retinue and tries things he’s never tried before. Perhaps unique for an imperial tour, he visits slums and abandoned neighborhoods and small villages. People still bow to him, because that’s what they know, and since he’s grown to hate the gesture as a whole, seeing it as hollow and lacking in honesty – thanks to one Xerath of Saikhal, who forced him to bow a lot during his imprisonment – he’s pondering the introduction of a new formula when he notices someone isn’t bowing to him.

A child, that is. A small thing of 5 with dreadlocks and a hairband, who curls up in a ball of tears as their parents pretty much implore them to bow like the others.

Azir thinks about it. Then he speaks: “Akshan, be a dear and bring this one to me.”

“My lord, your Imperial majesty… please! They’re just a kid, they don’t know…” their parents’ plea on their knees as the mercenary hauls the tiny one to Azir. Luckily Nasus isn’t with him on this one: he’s protecting the imperial coach with an escort of sand soldiers.

Akshan lifts the kid towards Azir, and he removes his half-helm to look at them closer.

“Are you afraid of me?”

A tiny “yes” emerges from the ball of sobs. Indeed… a giant hawk can be just as scary as a giant reptile. Azir sits down, offering an open hand… imitating Nasus’ own movements with him. And eventually tiny, shiny eyes look at him through soft fingers.

“You’re… a big bird.”

“I’m a hawk, and I’m not going to hurt you. I may look big, and scary… but that’s because I’m to protect you. Deep down… I can be sweet. Do you want to touch my feathers?”

“C-Can I?”

Right above his chestplate is his neck, a soft space of feathers awaits small grabby hands. The child snuggles in between them, tiny sobs fading into a content smile, and even their parents’ screams have subsided. Hugging an Emperor is a honor a few people see.

“So soft…”

“Yes, it’s soft.” Despite all of Xerath’s lovely attempts to ruin it. “And it’s warm, and… I hope it brings you good luck.”

He doesn’t really know why he did this. A part of him thinks he just wanted to hug a child, after having wept all his tears for his dear son and daughter, and feel like a parent for a moment. Maybe – and this is Xerath’s voice – he wants so desperately to feel good again, he resorts to platitudes and big moves to restore his reputation. Maybe he’s grown soft inside as well as out – too soft, in fact.

Either way it feels good, and isn’t it also what an Emperor should strive for? Feeling good?

“Emperor Azir the Soft” Samira chuckles to Sivir. “Imagine that being his title.”

“He’s been called worse names”, she chuckles back.

[claire-starsword]

Shining Force Country Guide Translation - Part 1

It’s finally done. This is enormous and quite technical or redundant at some parts, so I apologize in advance if the translation isn’t flowing well or has more mistakes than usual.

I’ve also skipped a few things. There’s a map of Runefaust’s invasion that pretty much just describes things said in game or other parts of the guide (like, which parts of the continent each boss was responsible for), so I skipped it. There were also checkpoint section just explaining the plot and secret events in game for each town, I will bring up a thing or two from them but otherwise skip it. And lastly, each town had a section describing what’s sold in their shops and tips on what players should buy. Only exception is Shade Abbey which instead had some extra lore I did translate.

All this rambling done, let’s begin.

The Continent of Rune

Let's take a took at the continent of Rune that will be the stage for the adventure, with an overview of its topography and history.

___

Species ratio:

Humans: 45% Centaurs: 25% Elves: 11% Dwarves: 4% Hobbits: 8% Others: 7%

Total population: 26580 inhabitants Average temperature: 26.5°C

___

An explanation of Rune's distinct geographical aspects

As shown by the map above, the continent of Rune is shaped in quite a peculiar way, divided into an eastern and a western part by the ocean. According to ancient history research still in progress, when the previous civilization was still at its peak, the continent's shape was very different from the current one. By Dark Dragon's destructive power, countless peninsula were wiped out, and there's evidence that even tectonic movement was slightly disturbed.

When it comes to topography, many are deeply interested in the differences between the west and east sides. Compared to the west side that has plenty of flat lands, the east side is rugged and mountainous. Those geographical differences reflect in different developments in agriculture, this world's main production. Also, because the west side is less rough, travel and trade between countries is easier. The eastern countries (like Runefaust), who had to dealt with tough life conditions in a harsher environment, might have naturally harbored intentions to conquer the west side, but things aren't so simple as to just put the blame on them.

There’s actually a colored version of this map somewhere else in the guide, hang on

Nice. Moving on.

Chronology of Rune's history:

Year 0 - The previous civilization is destroyed by Dark Dragon; Year 199 - Founding of Guardiana; Year 203 - Founding of Runefaust; Year 399 - Guardiana is raided by Wyverns; Year 501 - An abbey is built in the Shade region; Year 504 - Founding of Bustoke; Year 710 - Founding of Rudo village; Year 797 - A town is built in the mining area of Alterone; Year 798 - Founding of Rindo; Year 838 - Founding of Waral; Year 842 - The Pao Train is completed; Year 894 - Founding of Alterone; Year 999 - Guardiana is attacked by Runefaust (start of the game)

___

Past and Present

Of the remaining historical records in current Rune, almost all are from less than 1000 years in the past. Records of the civilization destroyed by Dark Dragon are practically all lost, with whatever existing ones being guarded by Prompt and Manarina, who continue to decode and study them.

Main events of these past 1000 years are shown in the table to the right. This Rune calendar, using the year of the previous civilization's downfall by Dark Dragon as the starting year, is used by almost all of Rune. Plenty of countries also have their own imperial era system based on their rulers (for example, Year 999 of the Rune calendar in Guardiana is Year 28 of His Majesty Alexis's rule), but treaties and such between countries use the Rune calendar.

In these 1000 years, no big scale conflicts between countries have occurred. This isn't due to an ideal peaceful coexistence, but because each country was busy fighting against frequent assaults by groups of magical beasts and natural disasters. As Dark Dragon's seal is released once more in this adventure, a new age is ushered where the real way of life of the people of Rune is put into question.

From here there are sadly no exact percentages for each country’s species pie chart, so you have to kinda eyeball it from the description and the legend below, and I did not feel like pasting it into every page, sorry

Kingdom of Guardiana

Population: 3000 inhabitants GNP: 3500 gold

Species ratio:

Known as the country of knights, the ratio of centaurs is high. Also, the ratio of elves is lower than that of other countries. Perhaps because they don't prioritize mages and archers as much?

___

What is the full story of the country of wandering knights?

A small country at the very south of West Rune. Around 800 years ago, with the purpose of protecting the Gate of the Ancients, a huge group of immigrants from Prompt, mostly knights, founded the country. During the rule of King Arissort Von Guardiana II, the kingdom was raided by a large group of Wyverns, and many documents were lost in the fire, thus there are no remaining records from before the country's founding.

Their main production is agriculture. The production is concentrated in the fertile delta of the Beaune River (the source of Maar Lake at the southeast of Manarina). Starting from their specialty, the "Guardiana carrot", they produce many diverse agricultural products, and achieved 100% self sufficiency. While still in a small scale, fishing activities have developed in the coast of the Monostone peninsula, so that region is sustained by a mix of agriculture and fishing. Since most of the country's land is plain field, it lacks in mineral resources, and industrial development is very slow. Because of that, it currently does not have goods to export, and thus has not established trading with other countries. One can say that self-sufficient agriculture is the lifeline of Guardiana's economy.

History wise, since it was founded by knights, it is expected that the citizens value the military arts. Having said that, they are not the kind to fight for no reason, and their standards of education are also relatively high. Since they've inherited a peculiar spirit of chivalrous spirit, their culture is permeated by the philosophy of being adept at both literary and martial arts.

The Fighting Tournament held every six months is a grand festival held through the castle and the town areas, where knights and townsfolk compete in the arts of their choice. It's the most remarkable expression of Guardiana's culture.

-Following the road to the west, there's the Gate of the Ancients and the mountain cabin. The road extending to the southwest connects to Guardiana's only allied country, Alterone. Guardiana's castle and town blend together into a castle town. Alterone also followed the same model.

-The bustling town is usually peaceful. Because of that, selling weapons isn't a great business there, and it seems the shop owner has decided to retire. Guardiana's only inn, the Guardiana Hotel, has been in a slump day after day. Not many tourists are coming.

The roads' directions in that pic caption do seem switched up, don't they?

To my knowledge the kings of Guardiana aren't named anywhere else so the romanization of their names is my own. Alexis however is a pretty normal name so I'm confident on it. Arissort however... yeah.

Same for location names as well. Beaune is apparently the name of a french city named after Belenos, a god of flowing water, so I guess it makes sense as a name for a river. Maar is a broad, shallow volcanic crater, so it made the most sense as romanization for the lake name as well.

The Guardiana tournament has already been mentioned in Hans' bio. It and Guardiana's carrots are also mentioned by Arthur in the GBA remake. In fact, all of Arthur's dialogue there is based on this country guide, which will be very convenient for me as I don't want to romanize even more names myself, thanks Arthur. Sadly he only comments trivia up to Waral though.

[thedarkivist]

I posted 2,273 times in 2022

53 posts created (2%)

2,220 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mothomens

@officialao3fandomlastforever

@bootshivers

@indecisivepsyche

@raptortooth

I tagged 1,086 of my posts in 2022

#fire emblem - 238 posts

#;;cats - 186 posts

#the magnus archives - 136 posts

#;;friend's content - 92 posts

#;;fashion - 64 posts

#ferdibert - 54 posts

#our flag means death - 49 posts

#ace attorney - 30 posts

#;;promo - 23 posts

#hades - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#but i can't but wonder whether some people (yours truly included) wouldn't benefit from doing a little less introspection

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Linhardt Has Questions

Feathers filled the horizon, whispering something he couldn’t decipher. The whispers echoed through the dark, until they ceased too. The grass under his cheek was slick with mud, and then with blood.

When he awoke, the feathers were still whispering, but their airy secrets were muted, because… because… ah yes, because they were stuffed into a cool, clean pillow. Of course. Satisfied with the observation, he fell asleep once more.

Linhardt didn’t have the time to sit by each individual patient’s bedside and hold their hand through the recovery. Even so, he caught himself checking on Hubert more often than what was strictly necessary, or efficient. It was rare for Edelgard’s shadow to end up in the infirmary with anything worse than a couple of bruises, and given the ugly hit he had taken in the last battle from a sneaky pegasus flyer, everyone worried.

So far, Hubert had only woken up a handful of times, and only for a couple of minutes at most. That, in Linhardt’s personal opinion, wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. If the pegasus didn’t get to Hubert, the exhaustion would.

Linhardt checked the time. Midnight. His shift was ending, and Marianne was bound to show up any minute now. Hubert stirred in his bed. Linhardt sat down on a chair next to the bed, waiting for him to briefly return to the waking world.

It was a bit of a shock every time how sleep could transform some people. The most hardened of soldiers could sleep as innocently as children, their features defenceless and gentle. Hubert… was not one of those people. He could make even rest seem threatening.

Hubert’s eyes opened, but his expression stayed oddly unfocused. That gave Linhardt a pause, even though he knew that some confusion was to be expected after such a nasty injury.

“Now, do you think you could stay with me for a few minutes?” Linhardt asked softly. In the scant light, Hubert’s face seemed to shine through the darkness, not dissimilar to the face of one of those statues of saints that used to litter Garreg Mach. He’d abhor the comparison – Linhardt was sure of that.

Hubert watched him solemnly, as though he didn’t recognise the healer. That gave him a pause.

“All right, a couple of routine questions. Hold back any sarcasm for later, will you?” He tilted his head to the side. “Though I suppose that in your case sarcasm would be as good an indicator of your overall health as any. Who’s the current ruler?”

Hubert closed his eyes again, but replied without a trace of hesitation: “Her imperial majesty Edelgard von Hresvelg.”

“Great. Do you remember the current year?”

“That would be…” Hubert trailed off, his eyes still closed, and for a second Linhardt thought he’d dozed off again. “Eleven-something. I can’t recall at the moment.”

“I envy you.” Linhardt meant to sound nonchalant, but that was only to cover up his own sudden spike of anxiety. Physically, there was nothing wrong with Hubert, but if they were to have to bring him up to speed on the past few years… well, suffice it to say they didn’t have that kind of time.

“Excuse me?”

“Never mind. Your name?”

Hubert opened his eyes and stiffly propped himself up on his elbows. “Is this really necessary?”

Linhardt shrugged, holding back a yawn. “Humour me.”

Hubert sighed, then pinched the bridge of his nose as if trying to stave off a migraine. “I am Ferdinand von Aegir.”

Linhardt choked on air.

Well, shit.

10 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#4

Hiyah! Okay, how about this for a writing request? I wanna see your two fave DBH characters interacting. Just something short and innocuous, just discussing mundane things or talking about their days or whatever! Go wild, lol. ^_^

@veilder

Connor himself didn't need to eat. He could consume things, but it was completely pointless. What he did like was feeling included - he enjoyed the social aspects of "getting lunch together", "talking things over coffee", and the likes. And, though he wouldn't volunteer that particular scrap of information, he liked things that crunched or fizzed in his mouth. The novelty of that sensation seemingly never wore off.

When Hank joined Connor for lunch, Connor made sure not to comment on Hank's food. A whole-grain sandwich and a salad. The salad was dripping with mayo, but in terms of healthiness, it was still leagues above Hank's usual fare. Connor was itching to say something, but if he had learnt anything, it was that Hank could get surprisingly defensive, even in the face of positive feedback - and so he stayed quiet.

The human sighed deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "You're staring, boy."

"Sorry!" The android straightened up. "I only-"

"I know. Don't mention it. It's no big deal."

Connor smiled. "All right. I won't."

10 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#3

Wish I Could Fall for You

Hello! This is a gift for Angela Quindo for the 2021/2022 Toshinko Secret Santa ♥

The request was that Inko and/or Toshinori would be involved in a quirk accident and would deal with the aftermath, so I tried to make something very fluffy with this prompt. I hope you enjoy it, and that your 2022 is excellent, even with college assignments and everything! Merry Chrysler!

13 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

#2

13 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

considering making a sideblog for my fics and writing

thots?

17 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[photozoi]

“Hiya, Pip!”

Wink, wink, say no more....

the most coolest pip

[aishangotome]

Chapter 12-11 Power Struggles Within the Imperial Court (禁庭之變)

Chapter 12-10

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I looked at Wang Jue, then at Ning Wu. ... So that's how it is.

I had a vague feeling that something was strange when I met that fortune teller, but I couldn't figure it out at the moment.

It was his form of address --- Wang Jue and I look like we are the same age, ordinary people would only think we are brother and sister, but he knew at a glance that we were "aunt and nephew."

He wasn't a divine fortune teller, he knew Wang Jue... From this, it's not difficult to deduce my identity.

Ning Ji's expression remained unchanged, calm and composed. He turned around, his back to the ministers, and our eyes met.

He blinked and smiled slightly.

Ning Ji: Shhh ---

His index finger pressed against his lips, and in a few moments, a silent promise was exchanged. But everything was too rushed, and in a blink of an eye, he returned to his usual serious and unperturbed demeanor.

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, it would be hard to believe that someone could switch between an extroverted chatterbox and an introverted, closed-off personality so effortlessly...

But why is he pretending to be this old-fashioned? I stared at Ning Ji, who was discussing matters with the ministers, lost in thought.

After Ning Ji appeared, the scattered ministers finally found their backbone.

Palace Person A: It's not good! It's not good! Your Majesty! Something terrible has happened!!

Ning Ji: Such a commotion in front of His Majesty, what kind of decorum is this?

Palace Person A: Re- Reporting to Your Majesty, there are troops surrounding the palace, General Chen Xiu has already taken the imperial guards to capture the rebels, but... there are so many of them...!

The young man on the throne, upon hearing this bad news, did not panic as he had before.

He merely narrowed his eyes slightly at the news, his body leaning forward a little. Resting his chin on his hand, he seemed to be looking down at the chaos with amusement.

Palace Person A: They are fierce, and they also said... they also said that the treacherous official Ning Shangqing has brought chaos to the country, whoever can cut off Shangqing's head will be rewarded with a thousand taels of gold!

The officials in the hall were all scholars who had never seen real bloodshed in politics. Although they did not dare to run away, fear had already begun to spread.

Official B: Th-this, what should we do?!

Official B: Your Majesty, this place is not far from the palace gate, if the rebels break in, why don't we run away first...

In an instant, some were pacing back and forth, some were throwing their hats and cursing angrily, the whole hall was in disarray.

Ning Ji, who had been named by the rebels and had a bounty on his head, still remained calm. As if the person who was labeled a traitor and had a heavy reward on his head was not himself.

Most of the officials in the hall were new court officials recruited by Ning Ji who disliked the old aristocratic families controlling the government. Fortunately, Ning Ji's judgment wasn't too bad, and there were still some clear-headed people among them.

An official paced over to Ning Wu and whispered.

Official A: Your Majesty... and Shangqing... you, you both seem to be not surprised by this situation?

Official A: Is there still a chance to turn things around?

Ning Ji did not answer him, but instead cast a playful look at me.

Ning Ji: As expected of the princess of Shangguo, you remain calm in the face of such a crisis. Truly, as the rumors say, you have the demeanor of a ruler.

I returned his smile with a smile of my own.

Princess: Should I panic? This situation, I'm afraid, was already anticipated by Shangqing, right?

I looked at the young man on the throne.

Although I already had my suspicions, although I was always on guard... there were moments when I truly wanted to believe him.

During the months we journeyed together, when he smiled and called me "auntie," or when he formed an alliance with me... It's a pity that from the moment we met, it was all a conspiracy.

After all... this deathly silent palace will never be able to cultivate a truly pure and flawless flower.

Wang Jue: Auntie...

Princess: Not only that, but luring me into the palace today was also part of the plan, wasn't it?

The answer to my question was like a stone sinking into the sea. After a long silence, he spoke with difficulty.

Wang Jue: Many of the things I said were not lies. I brought you to the palace because it's safe here.

Wang Jue: Auntie, as long as you trust me... I won't hurt you, I will protect you.

Wang Jue finally couldn't hold back and abruptly stood up. His gold and jade-encrusted crown made a harsh scraping sound.

He continued speaking almost urgently, but there was a struggle and a strange tenderness in his tone.

Wang Jue: And I will never let anyone hurt you.

The person before me gave a sad smile, his gaze becoming even more determined, like a new sprout emerging from the boundless wasteland.

Wang Jue: As long as you... stay in Nancang.

Princess: ...

Official B: Why does it sound like the fighting... is getting closer?!

Official B: Your Majesty, Shangqing, we must not delay any longer, let's hurry up and escape...

Official B: As the saying goes, where there's life, there's hope!

Official B: I heard that Her Highness the Princess has a phoenix by her side... But after all, two fists are no match for four hands, and a lone warrior probably can't protect the palace!

The ministers didn't understand the nuances of our conversation, and seeing that the situation was becoming increasingly critical, they just wanted to leave this place of trouble as soon as possible.

Putting aside all the emotions, suspicions, and hesitations in my heart, I finally stood up calmly.

Princess: Who said I was alone?

*flashback*

Qianjin Qiu: After the siege of Lingzhou is lifted, Princess, you want to go to Nancang?

Princess: Yes, but I have no family or friends in Nancang. Even with the Chen family's help, if a conflict really arises, I don't want them to be distracted by helping me.

My hand brushed against the cold, gleaming sword, the sharp arrows, the heavy armor...

Princess: Since I'm going, I must be the one who can stir up the situation.

Qianjin Qiu: Princess, you mean...

Princess: I want to transport some weapons and soldiers into Nancang, without anyone knowing.

Qianjin Qiu: Although I'm a bit shocked, it's not so surprising coming from you, Princess.

Qianjin Qiu: In that case... I have an idea.

Princess: What idea? Tell me about it.

Qianjin Qiu: If this idea is adopted by the Princess, how will you reward me?

Princess: What do you think?

*flashback over*

I took out a cylindrical object hidden in my sleeve, walked to the front of the hall, and lit the fuse.

This was something I specifically asked Fu Xian for before I left Xianyun.

The signal flare shot up into the dark sky with a dazzling brilliance.

Princess: I have formed a thousand-strong elite cavalry with the Guiye Army and Lingzhou soldiers. They have fought with the Red Robe Army in Lingzhou. I wonder how long those ragtag rebel soldiers can hold them off?

Wang Jue looked at me thoughtfully, a shadow cast over his eyes.

Wang Jue: So that's how it is... It was those servants and maids who delivered the betrothal gifts, right? Those wooden boxes didn't contain betrothal gifts, but weapons hidden inside.

Princess: You're very smart. It's a pity, I was originally reluctant to trouble my Guiye Army.

Wang Jue: Auntie, you have such impressive schemes... It seems that from the very beginning, I never had your trust.

I didn't answer anymore, my heart already flying to Chen Xiu.

With Chen Xiu's martial arts skills, it wouldn't be difficult for him to protect himself in the chaos of battle, and Chen Qi is also just outside the city...

Moreover, the troops assembled by the rebels are just some local garrison soldiers. Although they have large numbers, they are probably not as strong as Chen Xiu's elite imperial guards.

Princess: Chen Xiu...

Outside the distant palace, flames soared into the sky, piercing the eaves and rooftops, like firewood waiting to be burned.

A black dot-like figure rushed from the steps in front of the hall, growing larger and clearer. It was another young eunuch who had lost his hat and shoes.

Palace Eunuch: Yo-Your Majesty -- It's not good, General Chen was hit by an arrow and fell off his horse, in the chaos, it seems... it seems...

My chest suddenly felt as if it was being squeezed by an invisible hand.

*flashback*

Chenxiu: This is a folk tune from my hometown. If there's any song you like, Princess, I can learn to play it for you on the flute.

Chenxiu: When the country is in peril, as a son of Nancang, I will naturally give my all and face death without flinching.

Chenxiu: There will be plenty of time in the future. I will govern Nancang well and wait for you to come...

*flashback over*

My gaze was firmly locked on the young eunuch in front of me, all the noise around me instantly turning into a long buzzing in my ears.

Could he have seen wrong?

Maybe this young eunuch was just too panicked. Once he calmed down, he would say that it was all a false alarm.

I regained my composure and said in a deep voice:

Princess: Calm down and speak clearly!

Palace Eunuch: Reinforcements have arrived... but somehow... I heard them say... General Chen, has-has already fallen in battle!

The noisy voices faded away again, and only one voice remained in my mind: This is impossible.

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Chapter 13-1

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[photozoi]

The Throne of the Woods

... of His IMPerial Majesty, Ruler of ALL the Things and Keeper of the Cookies.

Silken Windhound

[calowlmitygoddess]

Eldra's very bad day at work

wop wop under the cut to not clog your dash, writing warm up so i hopefully can get back to my real wip. I wanna post more of these little snippets of this story .

Eldra had not rested for the past two days, not since being woken up at 4 am by a red alert detailing a sudden peak in Neautra in the eastern provinces and hundreds of messages by distressed hunters. It had been two days and they still didn't understand what happened in the small town once called Edreyl. They couldn't contact the hunter unit stationed near the town, all comms in the region were down due to the high Neautra levels, but the satellite images that managed to make their way back to the HQ were distressing, the entire town and many miles in its radius…gone, blasted out of existence, Eldra had never seen anything like this, not in her days as huntress not in the records of their archive. The good thing, if you could even call it that, is that they’ve yet to detect any demon activity coming from the region…yet. 

Tired and shaking from her 10th cup of coffee of the day she made her way into the State council room. The urgent meeting had been called in the past hour and Eldra had to rush to the Imperial Palace at the heart of Izeriath city. She sighed before the heavy white door as the guards opened it to her and she stepped inside the oppressive round table. 

The State council was limited to only the ministers of each region, the Emperor and the two Royal Huntressess, Eldra and Serha, though the former could only be present in video format. 

The ministers were all discussing in rushed tones to each other, and the emperor had his distinguished ever angry looking face. Eldra bowed before them before sitting next to the projection of Serha, who gave her a small nod. 

“Now that we are all here” The Emperor said “Royal Huntressess, what news do you bring?” he said, staring down at the two drakin women. 

Serha soke first, swallowing hard 

“Nothing yet…your majesty” she said the ministers murmured in disappointment and anxiety “this is…we have never seen this before, levels this high…” 

Eldra nodded

“thought there has been no demon activity signs yet!” She was quick to add “And this amount of Neautra may even lure them to that region, making it easier to hunt them down” 

“But what are we dealing with is the question royal huntress” the minister of Atriste, the region affected spoke, his video image was greatly affected by the Neautra and often would glitch out  “if a new portal is opening right in the middle of Izeriath” 

“I doubt that “ Serha  intervened “ A portal would have already started to consume matter, and from our satellites we can see it’s more or less stable” she said “whatever it was isn't putting more energy out”

Not that we can see anyway Eldra thought bitter, their equipment couldn't even process the amount of energy being read, stopping at the highest number it could handle, and had not yet decreased. 

“either way…to get a better view of what's going on in the blast zone, we need to get in there our comms with the nearby units are still down, and besides…i don’t think even with our best gear a mortal could survive for long in this amount of Neautra.” She said grimm. 

The discussion continued, no progress being made other than the obvious quarantine of the zone. Suddenly, the one channel that was off lit up, the room went into silence, this seat was never taken, for it was simply honorary. It was the seat for God. 

But instead of God, the one on the other side wasn't her, it was a dark blue spirit, its ethereal mane flowed behind it gracefully, particles, orbs, all floated around it as if the being had its own gravity. 

Everyone stood up and bowed towards the being in one swift movement, the spirt stared at them, its face expressionless, its eyes empty sockets of light. 

“Great Emissary” The Emperor spoke “ speak your word, what do we owe you your presence”

“Ruler of men”  the spirits voice was ethereal, like a loud whisper, a chorus of voices neither male nor female “ the contract has been broken, your kin’s cruelty has gone too far”

None spoke, all too stunned, confused

“ Our kind has been slaughtered time and time by the greed of men seeking to become gods, we tolerated it for they have brought on their demise by trespassing the sacred bound” the spirit continued “yet now despite the transgression, this cannot be ignored.”

“ Great one, what do you mean?” Eldra raised her head pleading, the spirits eyes burned into her skull, she felt overwhelmed from looking at it 

“ Our God, Shadlan, has been murdered, murdered by a mortal” 

It was a heavy silence, heavier than before, the emperor's eyes shot wide.Shock permeated everyone in the room, Eldra fell on her chair again. 

“No- No no mortal has the strength to do so!” Eidon pleaded 

“no mortal should have this strength, yet it has happened and Her remains now  poison the land she once loved” The spirit said solemn

Eldra looked at Serha, her face was pale as she cupped her face in pure horror. Eldra rested her head on her own hands, the exhaustion and shock taking over, what did that mean for them all? for the world? Who had the power to kill a god? how did they not see it sooner?

“This sin cannot go unpunished, your hands will not be cleaned by water but by your blood. If that means the end of this era, then so it shall be. We will not interfere further” 

“ What you- “ Eidon started to speak getting up from his chair when suddenly a high pitched scream filled the room. 

Eldra clutched her head falling against the table in a pained gasp. The scream continued, agonizing, painful, it felt like her entire body was being ripped apart by the sound, her mind becoming one with the pain. 

The scream stopped

She loved you 

The voice was furious, its anger bleed into Eldra, clawed at her chest, ripped her skin. 

She loved your pitiful kind and you kill her 

HOW DARE YOU 

The pain increased, sorrow, anger, pain, loss larger than Eldra could handle, tears streamed down her face as she gripped her head, she had to tear it open, pull her brain out, stop the feelings stop the pain

There will be no mercy, there will be no peace

not until she’s avenged. 

This is your last crime, mortals, this is my declaration, I will not rest until the very last of you is gone, until my sister is avenged with your DEATH. 

The pressure left, and Eldra vision slowly returned, she was breathing hard, she had blood and hair on her hands from pulling on her scalp. Slowly she managed to turn her head without being wrecked with nausea, to assess the state of the others. Many were unconscious, those that were online, had disconnected. She locked eyes with the emperor’s haunted gaze. 

The demon queen had come for them.

[beehunni62]

The Advisors Alliance Mini Encyclopedia Translation - Post 15: Revolt of the Seven States

The Advisors Alliance 大军师司马懿之军师联盟 is a 2017 two-part Chinese TV series depicting the life of Sima Yi, a government official and military strategist who lived during the late Eastern Han Dynasty 东汉 (25 CE - 220 CE) and the Three Kingdoms Period 三国時代 (220 CE - 280 CE). [Wikipedia of the show’s first season]

The second part is titled Growling Tiger Roaring Dragon 虎啸龙吟 and keeps following Sima Yi’s life as he matures and becomes wiser [Link to the show’s second season’s MyDramaList page].

The Weibo account [Link] of the show made a series of posts in the style of small encyclopedias explaining different historical and cultural facts that where included in the series. The user @moononmyfloor compiled the 50 posts and asked me to translate them. This will be an ongoing series where I will do just that. Although I tried to stay as close as possible to the original text, I had to take some liberties in some posts to get the meaning across better. On the side, I have included extra information from personal research that explains certain things better.

The posts are not in order of the episodes but I will provide the episode and season number to avoid confusion. If there are any mistakes in translation, do let me know in the comments or privately message me and I will do my best to fix them.

If it is difficult to read the letters, tap or click on the image to expand it. Without more preamble, here you go.

Extra information

Below is a handy map to picture the conflict better:

Map showcasing the states involved in the Revolt of the Seven States (154 BCE) created by Wikipedia user Seasonsinthesun. Posted July 8, 2017. I added the black arrows and names of the historical figures involved for readers’ convenience [image source].

Let me clarify something. 王 is “king” in Chinese. However, that title only applies to a ruler in ancient China before it became an empire and the title “emperor” 皇帝 was created. Thus, when we are talking about pre-imperial China, in English, the title 王 is translated as “king”. Once China unified and became an empire, to appease regional lords of states, the emperors allowed them to keep the title of “王” while the emperors took the title of 皇帝. However, in English, we, for the most part, do not translate the rulers of states after China unified as “kings”. Instead, we translate them as “princes”. It’s important to note that the phrase “大王” Great King (His Majesty) was used by emperors in ancient China despite containing 王. The further back we go, the blurrier it gets between 皇帝 and 王 and, sometimes, some 皇帝 preferred to go by 王 instead.

When Liu Bang, the founder of the Han Dynasty, ascended to the imperial throne, he took the title of 皇帝 and gave his allies land (states) that would operate as their own (mostly) independent kingdoms and granted them the title of “王” (Prince). Nevertheless, he had them all killed and replaced by his own kin, the Liu clan. That’s why, in the post above, you see so many princes with the names “Liu”. This was a terrible miscalculation because, in consolidating more power for his family, Liu Bang (Emperor Gaozu of Han) created a fractured empire with kingdoms that were independent and even minted their own coins (created their own currency). This independence made these states unwilling to follow the orders and laws of the central government (the imperial court).

By the reign of emperor Jing of Han, the personal relationship between him and several vassal princes was gravely strained thanks, in no small part, to Jing (then crown prince Qi) killing the vassal Prince of Wu, Liu Pi’s heir apparent, Liu Xian. Crown prince Qi and Liu Xian, while drunk, disagreed over the rules of the board game they were playing called Liubo 六博, a chess-like game tied to divination. Seeing as how Liu Xian, who was from a lower rank as the son of a vassal prince, dared to staunchly disagree with the crown prince, Qi, in what could only be described as a fit of drunken derangement, grabbed the hefty wood board, scattering the pieces to the ground, and proceeded to violently bludgeon Liu Xian in the head, eventually killing him. That act, along with the Vassal Domain Reduction Policy, triggered Liu Pi to start a revolt against centralized power. Below is what a Liubo set looks like:

Lacquered Liubo chess set excavated from Han Tomb No.3 (believed to have been of the son of the Marquis of Dai), Mawangdui, Changsha city, Hunan. Early Western Han (206 BCE – 25 CE), 12th year of Emperor Han Wendi (168 BCE). This Liubo set was around the time period of Crown Prince Qi and is likely to resemble the actual set he used to kill Liu Pi’s son, Liu Xian. This set is currently at the Hunan Provicial Museum.

A close up of a pair of Eastern Han Dynasty (25–220 CE) ceramic tomb figurines of two gentlemen playing Liubo. Earthenware figures displayed at the Met Museum [image source].

Note: The two Liu Xian mentioned here aren’t the same. They are both called Liu Xian and both names are written as 刘贤 (Trad. 劉賢) but one is the Prince of Zichuan and the other is the son of Liu Pi.

Note: Another name that repeats is Liu Wu. There are two different Liu Wu. The first is Liu Wu 刘戊 (Trad. 劉戊) Prince of Chu, ally to Liu Pi, and the other is 刘武 (Trad. 劉武), Prince of Liang, ally to Emperor Jing.

The “good judgement” on the part of Zhou Yafu in the text refers to him purposely disobeying Emperor Jing’s orders to save Prince of Liang, Liu Wu. Instead, Zhou, opted to cut off the supply lines of the states Chu and Wu creating a decisive defeat for those two states and a victory for the emperor and Zhao.

Catalogue (Find the rest of the posts)

[photozoi]

(Dog yard. Where are dogs?

Well, the Brother is out on deck, b'cus he is 'lergic to being in Nature....

... and the Prince, the Wizzard and Jeep are on deck having to step over the Brother while they watch the Nothing Happening in the yard... well... there's birds ....

...and the Bean Boy Mung is plotting some kinda destruction, you can tell by his 'spression! Just look at him! He is devious and .....)

"IMP!! Get down from there!"

(Rats, I should make a law about peeples yelling at IMPerial Majestys while they are doing postings to their Friends. I never get to have 'puter time mineownself. )

His IMPerial Majesty, Ruler of ALL the Things and Keeper of the Cookies- Silken Windhound- discovers that there are, indeed, limits

[jurakan]

GIVE ME FACT

[slides office chair over]

It is Saturday morning when I receive this, so I apologize friendo, but I am not going to make you wait another week because that's cruel. Also, I don't know if I'll have time to Fun Fact next Friday. So since I'm mostly free right now and nobody's told me that they don't know about this already, we're going to go ahead and talk about a random thing in American history that's one of my favorite Fun Facts.

[Again, if you already know this, notify me, and you can get a refund/new Fun Fact.]

Today You Learned about the first and only Emperor of the United States of America, His Imperial Majesty Norton I.

Joshua Norton was an English-born man living in mid 19th century San Francisco as a businessman, living the high life until one day, he lost it all. He was poor, he was destitute, nobody cared who he was anymore.

So what do you do when that happens? I don't know. I'll tell you what Joshua Norton did: he declared himself Emperor.

No really.

In the fall of 1859 he published a manifesto criticizing the government for its failings in the local newspaper. He later published a letter, which he wrote and handed to the newspaper office himself, declaring that he was the Emperor, and soon afterward started making decrees asking that both Catholic and Protestant churches officially recognize his claim, and that Congress was to be dissolved. When Congress was not dissolved, he asked the US Army to go to DC and make those Congresspeople go home. Norton I also declared that Republican and Democratic parties were to be disbanded.

As you can probably guess from today's headlines, this did not work.

He also told people to build the Bay Bridge, and that didn't happen until after his death, but there is a plaque for him, giving him credit, and there are efforts to have it named after him.

So yes, he was a crazy person, but you know what? He was pretty harmless considering he asked the Army to dissolve the government (in part because no one did anything about it). He hung out in San Francisco, wearing his uniform, walking around, getting free lunches at certain establishments (because they found this guy hilarious), and issuing his own form of money. Obviously, with an Emperor, the US was going to have a new monetary system, and he was happy to give bills out to whoever made the journey to meet him. Some local restaurants actually accepted that money too.

And Norton I remained politically active! He wrote to other countries' leaders, and even suggested marrying Queen Victoria to strengthen ties between nations (she did not write back). The one foreign ruler who did recognize Norton as legitimate ruler of the US was Hawaiian King Kamehameha V, who did not do the same for the actual US government.

This was also a time of discrimination against Chinese immigrants, and one douchebag held a rally against them. Norton showed up at the rally and told the racists to go home. Didn't work, but points for trying, eh?

At one point Norton was arrested, and committed to insane asylum. This did not go over well with the public of San Francisco, as they'd grown rather fond of him. And after all, he was pretty harmless. A local newspaper famously published the line, that Emperor Norton I had "shed no blood; robbed no one; and despoiled no country; which is more than can be said of his fellows in that line." He was soon released.

In January 8, 1880, Norton fell and died on his way to a lecture. Everyone around him immediately rushed to his aid, but he died pretty quickly. There were tons of rumors that he was secretly wealthy, or a lost royal heir or something, but upon gathering his effects for his funeral, it became pretty obvious that no, Norton really had nothing to his name. Still, local businessmen donated to a funeral fund, and the beloved Emperor's send off was attended by thousands of people in San Francisco.

So ended the life of the first and only Emperor of the United States.

He was immortalized, in part, by Mark Twain in a character called "the King" in Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. He's also the subject of one of my favorite Sandman stories. The man was absolutely NUTS, but in a fun way, and he even tried to use the imperial power he thought that he had to help other people. I don't know that he was very good at it, but, uh... well, he tried.

The man is a legend.

[photozoi]

“Prince Sivien is Seven! I am Seven! Prince Sivi and me are the same! Yay for Sivi hazzing a birthday and getting a really BIG cookie! I hope he gets all of his Candle Wishes to be true and now I have to go and find out where MY really BIG cookie is and why I, His IMPerial Majesty and Ruler of ALL the Things does not haz a really cool Majesty Collar like Sivi does. Someone has stuff to answer for...   ”

We in the Court of the Woods would like to wish Prince Sivien and his Person a most wonderful Seventh Year Celebration, looks like you have a beautiful day for it! And now I must find a great hiding place while I figure out my collar excuse....

Happy 7th Birthday, Prince Sivien!