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keeryhours · 22 days ago

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wildflower chapter seven

Eddie Munson x Henderson! female reader, Steve Harrington x reader

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Steve Harrington Masterlist

Summary:

Eddie springs something on you, and Steve is not happy.

Warnings:

Angst, fighting

Word Count: 3k

A/N:

I hope you enjoy 💕 Thank you so much for your support on this series!

It had been two weeks without any word from Eddie. You felt terrible after he had shown up and found you and Steve after…well. You knew it had hurt him, which is something you never wanted to do, despite your history.

It was another uneventful day at the diner. You had just delivered a tray of drinks to one of your tables when you noticed Chief Jim Hopper coming in and heading your way.

“Hey, Hop,” you greeted with a smile, sitting the empty tray down on the counter. “Where do you want to sit today?”

Hopper approached you with an uncomfortable look on his face. It made you nervous, your eyebrows furrowed as he got closer. He was carrying some papers in his hand. He called you by your full name as he reached you, which he never did.

“…Yeah?” You said, concerned about whatever he was about to drop on you.

Hopper rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’ve got some papers for you.” He handed you the stack of papers, avoiding your gaze. You’d known Hopper your entire life and he’d never acted like this around you before.

You looked down at the papers. Petition for Establishing Paternity. Signed - Edward Munson.

You looked up at Hopper, eyes wide. “What…what is this?”

Hopper was still avoiding your gaze. “Eddie filed to establish paternity. This is a court order for a DNA sample from both you and Asher.”

Your head spun with this information. Eddie had filed for paternity with the court? You had seriously just been served papers? “What…what does this mean?”

“You’ll have to go to the address on the paper to provide a DNA sample from you and Ash,” Hopper said. “If the DNA proves Eddie is Asher’s father, he’ll be added to the birth certificate and he’ll have paternal rights. He’ll most likely file for joint custody at that point.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Eddie hadn’t even talked to you about this. He hadn’t talked to you at all. Was he really so mad at you about Steve that he’d do this? In this way?

You thanked Hopper for coming out here and he gave you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before he left. You felt like you were in shock. You couldn’t think of anything else as you went on with your day - you felt like you might cry. This was so much all at once. You never would have kept Asher from Eddie, if he had just asked. But adding him to the birth certificate so soon? And having to go to court?

Your mind was still reeling with this information when Steve and Robin showed up after their shift at Family Video. They could tell something was wrong immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked as soon as he reached you. He placed his hands on your shoulders, looking you over like something had happened to you. “What’s going on?”

An equally concerned Robin stood next to him as you sniffled and wiped your eyes. You reached behind the counter and grabbed the stack of papers, handing them to Steve. “Eddie had me served.”

“He what?” Steve said, grabbing the papers from you and looking over them as Robin gasped. He flipped through the papers, getting angrier by the second.

“Why would he do something like that?” Robin asked. “That’s not like Eddie at all.”

You and Steve exchanged a look - you knew exactly why Eddie would do this. He was hurt and angry. Robin didn’t know about you and Steve sleeping together, and you weren’t planning to tell her, at least not yet. Things had already been confusing enough between you and Steve.

“I don’t know,” you said, looking down. “I wish he had talked to me first.”

Steve was clenching his jaw. He handed the papers back to you, turning and walking out of the diner angrily.

“Where are you going?” Robin called, throwing her hands up. “You’re supposed to be my ride home!”

Steve sped into Forest Hills Trailer Park. His car skidded to a stop outside the Munson trailer, and he killed the engine. Eddie’s van was outside. Steve knew he probably should have taken the time to calm down a little, but he wasn’t thinking straight. He climbed out of his car and slammed the door shut, stomping up to the front door and banging on it.

“What the fuck-“ Eddie said as he opened the door, then his eyes went wide. “Steve? What the fuck are you doing here?”

Steve shoved Eddie in the chest, making him stumble backwards. “What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you do this to her?”

Wayne stood up from the couch in shock as Eddie shoved Steve back. “How could you do this to me? Take my place in my son’s life, sleep with my girlfriend?”

“She is not your girlfriend!” Steve yelled back, exasperated. “You left her! And you all but admitted you slept with groupies on the road. You expected her to just wait for you while you did whatever you wanted and come running back whenever you decided to show up again? Whether you knew about Asher or not, you abandoned her!”

Eddie was at a loss for words. “I- that’s my son. He’s not yours. As much as you want him to be.”

Steve clenched his fist. He wanted to take a swing at Eddie so bad. “She missed you, you know? It took her a year to stop talking about you. I bet you didn’t think about her at all.”

“I did think about her,” Eddie said. “I thought about her all the fucking time.”

“Then why did you leave?”

“Why did you fucking sleep with her?” Eddie yelled, the hurt evident in his voice.

“That’s not relevant at all,” Steve said. “She’s a grown woman. She doesn’t owe you anything.”

Wayne jumped in at that point, ever the voice of reason as he tried to defuse the argument. “Eddie, he has a point. Why did you take off and never talk to that girl again? I thought you loved her?”

“I do love her!” Eddie exclaimed. “I love her so fucking much you have no idea.” He pointed a finger at Steve. “You could never even comprehend how much I love her. You could never love her the way I do.”

Steve scoffed. “Yeah, that’s not true, buddy. I’ve been here for her while you were off playing rockstar. I’ve been raising your son.”

It was Eddie’s turn to clench his fist. “That’s only because I didn’t know about him. I love her, and I love Asher.”

“You love her so much you had her served? Instead of just talking to her?” Steve stepped closer to Eddie, getting in his face. “Do you even know how upset she was?”

“Wait,” Wayne said, holding his hand up. “Ed, you had her served?”

“I want to see my son. I have rights.” Eddie said, holding his head up high. He felt like he was completely in the right here, he didn’t think he’d done anything wrong. He wanted custody rights, he wanted to be on the birth certificate. He wanted to be Asher’s father.

“She wants you to be in his life, you fucking idiot! All you had to do was ask! All you had to do was fucking show up for once in your life!” Steve was fuming, adrenaline coursing through his body, ready to fight. “She still misses you. The old you, at least. The one that never would have treated her this way.”

Eddie was speechless once again. Wayne walked over, cautiously putting a hand on his nephew’s shoulder. “Eds, you know I love you more than anything, and I’m always in your corner. But you need to grow up before you can be in your son’s life. That poor girl had to grow up a lot faster than she wanted, and she did it on her own.”

Eddie turned to his uncle, his brown doe eyes sad. “But Wayne-“

“No buts. I know the band is important to you, and I know you’ve worked hard. But you need to think long and hard about your decisions. You made a bad call. A petty one. This isn’t about you, or even you and her. It’s about that little boy. You need to be thinking about what’s best for him.”

The words struck Eddie deeply. He always valued his uncle’s advice - he had been a great father figure to him all these years, so he had to know what he was talking about. If anyone knew how to be a father, it was Wayne.

“I just…” Eddie ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve already done it now. I’m going forward with it. If we can agree on custody, we won’t have to go to court. But I’m going forward with getting my name on that birth certificate.”

Steve shook his head, laughing humorlessly. “You’re a selfish prick, Eddie Munson.”

Steve turned around and marched out of the trailer. Moments later, Eddie and Wayne heard his car starting and leaving the driveway. Eddie collapsed onto the couch, his head in his hands.

Maybe he really had fucked up.

Things had been different between you and Steve since sleeping together. You hadn’t done it again, but things were definitely…a little stranger. He had kept his word, and the next morning he drove you straight to the doctor for a morning after pill. As much as you loved Steve, and as much as you loved being Asher’s mom, you weren’t thrilled by the idea of adding another to the mix. The doctor had warned you it wasn’t 100% effective, but it was safer than nothing.

You weren’t ready to jump into a relationship, either. You knew Steve would want that, but he was happy to move at your pace. You weren’t sure what you wanted anymore.

The next day after being served, you had off work so you bundled Asher up and headed to the lab to fulfill the DNA samples. You had been stressing nonstop since you’d been served the papers. You didn’t mind adding Eddie to the birth certificate and giving him partial custody or visitation, but you had wanted to ease into it. He barely even knew Asher still, had only met him the one time. You didn’t want all this to be confusing for him since he was still so young.

You pulled up to the lab and killed the engine, climbing out of the car to get Asher from his car seat. You carried him inside on your hip, walking to reception and handing the paper to the woman working. You were so nervous you felt dizzy and sick to your stomach, like you could vomit at any second.

She asked your name first, then glanced down at the paper. “And this is Asher Henderson?”

“Yes,” you said, the toddler examining the building with curiosity. “It's…not going to be painful, is it?” You hated to put Asher through this at all, but especially if it involved blood work.

“No hon, it’s just a cheek swab,” she said, giving Asher a friendly smile and wave. Asher smiled back cautiously, hiding in your neck as he waved back. “You two can go on back.”

Asher clung to you as you walked to the back, following a nurse to a room. You sat Asher on the table and stood next to him. He eyed the tray with the long cotton swabs, but didn’t fuss since there wasn’t a needle in sight.

The nurse swabbed the inside of both of your cheeks first, showing Asher it wasn’t scary. Then she moved towards him - “Say aaaaaah!” - and you were grateful when he listened. He opened his mouth wide and she got the swabs she needed.

“Great job, little man,” the nurse praised, giving him a high five he happily returned.

You were struck by the most intense nausea at that moment, you almost doubled over and threw up on the floor right there. “Can you watch him?” You asked quickly, before you were sprinting from the room and to the bathroom down the hall, which was mercifully empty. You fell to your knees, emptying the contents of your stomach.

When you were done, you were in shock. You wiped your face with some toilet paper, flushing the toilet and leaning against the wall. You had been worried sick over the thing with Eddie, but you didn’t think it was that bad. It was getting to you more than you thought.

You straightened yourself up and hurried back to the room, where the nurse was letting Asher play with a stethoscope. She turned as you walked in and gave you a reassuring smile as she stood.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, picking up Asher. “Thank you for watching him. I don’t know why that happened.”

She gave you a reassuring squeeze on the arm as she headed out of the room. “It’s okay. I got sick ten times a day when I was pregnant with my daughter.”

“Oh, I’m not-“ You began, but she was already out of the room. You furrowed your brows, thinking maybe you needed a trip to the doctor in case you had the stomach flu. It was about that time of year.

It was also nearing Asher’s 2nd birthday, and you had a party to execute this weekend amongst all this drama. You wondered if you should invite Eddie or if that would be awkward. Ultimately you felt like you should at least extend the invitation - be a bigger person, and all that.

You had planned his birthday party at your mom’s house, since he was still too young for friends the entire guest list could fit comfortably. You’d already ordered the cake, and sent invitations to everyone.

Despite how angry you were at Eddie, you figured he at least deserved to attend his son’s birthday party.

You waited until Asher was tucked safely and cozily into his crib before you reached for the phone. You dialed the number you never forgot, even after all these years.

“Hello?” A voice greeted, familiar and missed.

“Hi Wayne,” you said. “How are you?”

“Well!” He responded, sounding significantly happier once he recognized your voice. “I’ve been alright. How have you been? How’s that little boy?”

“We’re both doing just fine,” you smiled over the phone. “Is Eddie there?”

“Sure is,” he said. “Do you want to talk to him?”

“Please.” You twisted the phone cord around your finger, the nerves creeping up in your stomach again. You’d already thrown up one more time since you’d been home, you didn’t want to do it again.

It was a few seconds of shuffling over the phone before you heard breathing. “Yeah?”

“Hey, Eddie,” you greeted awkwardly. Since you hadn’t spoken to him in so long, not since he caught you with Steve and not since being served, you didn’t know how he felt about you or the situation.

“Oh,” he said, sounding surprised to hear your voice. “Uh…hey.”

“I, uh, just wanted to ask you something,” you began. “Asher’s birthday is coming up and we’re having a party at my mom’s this weekend. I was wondering if you and Wayne wanted to come? The guys are invited too, of course.”

“Oh,” he said again, sounding shocked at the question. “Yeah. I mean, yeah, of course, I would love to go. I know Wayne would, too. I’ll talk to the guys.”

“Okay, cool,” you said, feeling extremely awkward. An equally awkward silence filled the air. Finally, you decided to address the elephant in the room. “I got your papers.”

“Oh..yeah,” he said, and you could practically see the uncomfortable expression on his face. “Yeah, Steve came to, uh…talk to me about that. Listen, I’m real sorry. I didn’t mean to spring it all on you like that.”

“It’s…okay,” you reassured him, although you really didn’t feel like it was. You were still kind of hurt about it. “I mean, you could have just asked.”

“Yeah, yeah, I…I know. I’m sorry.”

You were quiet for a moment. “We went and did the DNA samples today, so I guess that ball is rolling. They said it usually takes two days. And, well, you and I both know he’s yours.”

Eddie laughed lightly. “Yeah. He’s definitely mine. I didn’t have any doubts about that…kid’s my twin.”

His words made you laugh, too. “He sure is. I’ve seen your face every day for the past two years.”

It was silent again as your words hung in the air. Finally, Eddie spoke. “I’m…I’m really sorry. About what I did. Disappearing on you and never calling and all. That was…it was shitty of me. I admit I got caught up in the band and the fame. And I don’t know if you can ever forgive me - hell, I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t. But I’m sorry, and I just want you to know that.”

Tears welled in your eyes, a couple escaping and falling down your cheeks. You wiped them away with a sniffle. “Thanks, Eddie. That means a lot…for you to say that.”

“Well, I mean it,” he said. It was quiet again as neither of you knew what to say.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you this weekend at the party,” you said. “I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah…talk later.”

You hung up the phone, the lack of an ‘I love you’ feeling odd for the end of a phone call with Eddie. You remembered the nights laying on your bed at home and hogging the phone all night while you chatted with Eddie, totally in love, giggling and kicking your feet as you talked to him.

You still felt sick, so you felt like you should get an early night. You headed to your room, took a quick shower in your en suite bathroom, dried your hair and did your nighttime routine, then got cozy under the blankets. Your mind swam with thoughts of both Eddie and Steve, as you fought off the nausea. Finally, you were able to fall asleep, and get some rest from the mess that was your life.

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my-name-is-baby · 28 days ago

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Because You’re Mine, I Walk the Line

Rafe Cameron x female reader

Warnings: mentions of death (reader’s father, Rafe's mom), mentions of overdosing, angst but also lots of fluff, mentions of drug use, rehab

Author’s note: hiii, so this is my first time ever writing fanfiction, though I’ve been an avid reader for many years, so I hope this turned-out okay. o_o Also I was inspired by the song I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash, hence the title.

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Rafe knew he liked you the moment he saw you smile.

You and Sarah had become friends in Senior year of high school when you were paired up on a history project.

He hadn’t known that anyone was coming over when he heard the doorbell ring. You looked up from your phone and nodded at him when he opened the door.

“Hey, Rafe,” you greeted him.

With a puzzled look, Rafe retorted, “I don’t know you.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “Well, that’s fine cause I’m not here to see you, silly,” you said with a smirk and suddenly he wished you were.

“Y/N!” Sarah exclaimed as she came down the stairs. At that moment, Rafe saw your face break into a true and genuine smile, and he knew he would give away all of his dad’s stupid money to be on the receiving end of it.

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From then on you were a permanent fixture at Tanneyhill.

One day, when he got home from golfing with Topper and Kelce, Rafe was hit by the sound of boisterous laughter from the living room. When he peeked in, he saw you, Sarah, and Wheezie piled on the large sofa, watching one of the Twilight movies, he wasn’t sure which one. All he heard was you shouting something about someone “imprinting on a baby??”

He stood in the doorway for a minute before you glanced up and saw him. He was startled when your smile brightened and even more startled when you called out to him.

“Rafe! Come join us! These movies are wild, you need watch with us.”

Sarah gave you an incredulous look accompanied by a short laugh. “There is no way my brother would wat-”

Before she could finish, Rafe was already sitting down between you and Wheezie, who was attempting to catch him up on the plot.

The rest of the night was filled with pausing to rant and explain, shouting, and laughing. When they finished the movie, they even decided it wasn’t too late to start back at the beginning to show Rafe the first film in the series. He was bewildered to say the least and a little peeved by your crush on Bella’s dad, but he was just happy to be included. This was the closest he had been to feeling like a family with his sisters in a long time.

It was 1am when the credits finally began to roll. Wheezie had long been asleep on Rafe’s shoulder. He had one arm around Wheezie and the other slung over the back of the couch so whenever you leaned back your head you were leaning on him.

Eventually Sarah slapped her knees and sat up. “Welp, Y/N and I need to go to bed. You got Wheezie?”

Rafe nodded before shifting his eyes to you. “G’night Y/N/N.”

You smiled back at him. “Night Rafe, don’t let the Edwards bite.”

Rafe chuckled, “I’ll do my best.”

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When you and Sarah got to her room, your head was spinning.

“Hey Sar,” you started, “would I be a complete idiot if I said your brother is cute?”

“Oh my god ew, really? Please no,” Sarah replied as she turned to you while slipping on a sleep shirt.

“Damn, okay then. I guess I’m an idiot then.”

“No, no, you’re not. It’s just that,” Sarah sighed, “tonight was a good night for him, but he’s not usually so nice. You’ve been to parties he’s been at, right?”

“Yeah, but you know me, I like to leave before shit kicks off.”

“Yeah, well, when shit kicks off is when he’s coked out of his mind, and he is violent and mean. I hate to say it, you know, cause he’s my brother, but I don’t think he’d be good for you, especially with your history.”

“Oh, fuck, really? I had no idea, I’ve never seen that side of him, I guess. But you’re right. I cannot go through that again. Thanks for looking out for me,” somber for a moment, you look down at your fidgeting hands. “It’s a shame he’s sexy as fuck,” you say to lighten the mood.

“Ah! GROSS!”

You and Sarah devolved into laughter while climbing into her bed.

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The next day, after you had left, Rafe was sitting at the dining table with Sarah. She was eating an apple while scrolling on her phone. As Rafe finished off his sandwich, he spoke up.

“Sarah, can I ask you something? But promise not to laugh.”

Sarah looked up mid-bite. “I will make no such promise but shoot.”

“Do you think Y/N would be interested in me?”

Sarah snorted but then saw the look in Rafe’s eyes. “Oh, wait you’re serious? Uhhh, no. She likes... good guys.”

Rafe put a hand on his chest in faux offence. “Are you saying I’m not a good guy?”

“You know what I mean.” Sarah took a breath, “addicts, she doesn’t like addicts.”

“Well, hey now, I know for a fact that I’ve seen her sharing a joint with JJ.” He leaned forward on the table as he grimaced at the memory.

“That’s not the same and you know it, Rafe. That shit won’t kill you,” Sarah said, growing agitated with her brother.

Rafe scoffed, “I’m not gonna die from anything I’m doing.”

“Do you seriously not remember what happened to her dad?” Rafe shook his head. “He OD’d when we were freshmen. How did you not hear about this? I think he was on life support for a couple days before they called it. Dad went to the funeral.”

Rafe’s mind was reeling. How did he not know about this? How could you have gone through this and still have such a bright smile? When his mom died, he lost control. It was a large part of why he is the way he is. His family had fallen apart, and his dad had done nothing except remarry to give them a “new mom.” He couldn’t believe he hadn’t known what you had gone through.

“Fuck,” Rafe breathed out

“Yeah,” Sarah agreed

But Rafe didn’t want to give up. He cared about you too much. He liked you and the person he got to be around you. There were no expectations for him to be more than he was. He was determined to have a chance with you.

“And if I quit? Do you think she’d be interested then?”

“What?” Sarah nearly choked on a bite of her apple as her head whipped back up from her phone.

“Like if I sobered up. If I cut off all the dangerous shit, do you think she could like me?”

“Um, Rafe, have you met you? There’s no way in hell that’s happening. You once took money from Wheezie to buy coke. You’re not gonna quit over some crush.”

But to Rafe it wasn’t just some crush. He wanted your light in his world for the rest of his life. He needed it.

“Come on Sarah, please, hypothetically,” he pleaded.

Sarah heaved a sigh, dragging out her words, “Hypothetically, then ... yes... I do think she’d be interested, but I find the whole thing highly implausible.”

But that was all Rafe needed to hear. He was gonna quit.

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At first Rafe tried to go cold turkey by himself, but all the parties and pressure of his friends mixed with having no support system at home proved to be too much. His withdrawal symptoms were too much. He was paranoid and anxious. He slept all the time and couldn’t focus on anything. Even Barry was worried about him.

He broke down one day and grabbed the last of his hidden stash. He was halfway through a line when he heard your laugh wafting through the house. It woke him up. He dragged his hands through his hair and tried to hold back his tears.

He needed help.

That night he took his bike and drove himself to rehab. Before he left, he stuck a note on Sarah’s door. From inside he could hear you giggling and he knew he was doing the right thing.

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After about a week, you knew something was wrong. You hadn’t seen Rafe around Tanneyhill or at any of the various parties you attended. It took you another week to finally ask Sarah what was going on. You didn’t want to admit how much you cared, but you couldn’t take it anymore.

You and Sarah were sprawled out on her bed listening to music and painting your nails.

“So,” you broke the silence, “is Rafe out of town or something?”

Sarah looked up at you from the corner of her eye before continuing to paint pink polish on her toes. “Yeah, something like that.... he’s in rehab...”

“Oh.” You sat stunned for a second, “really?”

Sarah smirked as she glanced at you, “apparently, there’s this cute girl he likes that doesn’t date cokeheads.”

Your eyes widened as you began to blush, “......Me?”

Sarah burst into laughter, “yes girl.”

You felt like you were gonna melt. You had watched your dad struggle with his addiction for years before it caught him and not once had he tried to quit. He didn’t try to quit for your mom, his parents, your brother, and least of all for you. He had OD’d a couple times without it being fatal and each time you sat next to his hospital bed, clutching his hand, and begged him to quit, begged him to keep your family together, begged him to care. He never listened.

But now, someone was trying to get clean just for the chance to be with you. You couldn’t wrap your head around it.

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Rafe had been in rehab for three weeks now. He was surprised by how much he liked the routine. The nurses were nice, and the food was actually good. He had even made a couple of friends. It was the most he had been taken care of since his mom had passed away.

Despite all that there was still a huge part of him that felt lonely.

He sat in the sterile white room he’d been given that wasn’t too unlike home. The emptiness matched that of Tanneyhill. In theory he could have someone bring some things from home to make the space more his own, but he couldn’t think of anything he wanted or anyone who’d bring it.

There was a knock at his door and a nurse peeked her head in, “There’s a call for you Mr. Cameron.”

He went to the common area that held all the phones expecting to hear Wheezie’s voice, she was the only one who had called him while he was here.

“Hello?” He spoke; his voice raspy from disuse.

It was quiet for a moment and then he heard your voice, “Hi, is this Rafe...?”

“Y/N?” He breathed out, gripping the phone closer to his ear.

“Yeah, hi Rafe,” he could almost hear your tentative smile, “how are you?”

“Better now,” he said, still in shock but not missing a chance to flirt with you.

You lightly giggled, letting some of your tension float away. You had been so nervous to call him but now that you heard his voice you couldn’t remember what you were so worried about.

“Sarah told me you were here.”

“And did she tell you why?”

You bit your lip, debating whether you should lie or not, “.... yeah.”

“Cool,” and he left it at that, “how are you doing?”

“I’m alright,” you replied, surprised but glad that he didn’t press the subject further. You knew you liked him, but you wanted to spend more time with him before you admitted it.

“They played the second Twilight movie here the other day,” Rafe spoke up.

“Did you watch it??”

“Well, I had to know what my guy Jacob was up to, obviously.”

You chuckled, “naturally. So, what’d you think?”

“I was still confused but one of the nurses gave me a pudding cup, so I was alright.”

Your heart almost melted at the mental image of Rafe sitting there eating a pudding cup and watching Twilight. "That's actually adorable,” you cooed, a blush taking over your cheeks.

You chatted for a little longer about what rehab was like and the drama happening back home before Rafe was told someone else needed the phone.

“Hey, it looks like Charlie needs the phone so I gotta go. But it was really nice talking to you. I think your voice calms me,” Rafe said with an awkward laugh.

“Maybe, if you’d like, I could call again tomorrow?”

“I would love that.”

Rafe was beaming for the rest of the night.

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After that your calls became a nightly occurrence, he got his after-dinner pudding treat and then went to talk to you. Knowing he got to hear your voice at the end of the day made his treatment somehow easier. Even the doctors noticed the change.

You actually visited him a couple times after he mentioned that only Sarah had visited him and that was partially because he asked her to pick up his bike so it wouldn’t get stolen from the parking lot. The visits were great, but they never felt like enough. You had to stay in a small room that was filled with other patients visiting with their loved ones and you only got an hour.

Before one of your visits, he told you how empty his room felt. So, the next day, you brought him a stuffed animal of yours to keep him company, a blue gorilla you told him was named Professor Bobo. It smelled like you and that was Rafe’s favorite part.

From your research about rehab that you did while trying to help your dad, you knew how important the support of friends and family is to recovery. You wanted to be there for him the way your father never let you be.

On one of your calls, Rafe got quiet for a second.

“Hey, so, I’m getting discharged on Wednesday and I need to give them the name of who’s going to pick me up... Sarah’s busy and my dad is, well, you know-”

“Rafe, I’ll pick you up,” you cut off his rambling.

“Are you sure? Because I could figure something else out, I bet Topper or Kelce would do it.”

“No, I want to pick you up, Rafe.” His heart always jumped when you said his name.

“Okay, thank you Y/N, I’ll tell the nurses.”

“Sounds good. Don’t forget Professor Bobo when you’re packing up your stuff.”

“I would literally never, he’s my best friend.”

You let out a bright laugh, “are we going to have to figure out joint custody for him?”

“Or we could just move in together,” Rafe said with a creeping smirk, “I’d hate for him to have to do separate holidays.”

“How thoughtful of you.”

“I’m really a good father like that.”

“I guess we’ll have to get a place together, for the kids,” your teasing smile starting to shift to a genuine one.

“Kids? Plural? Is there something you want to tell me?” Rafe said playing into the joke.

You burst into a fit of giggles. This was going to be good.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You were barely able to sleep on Tuesday night because you knew you were going to see Rafe, out in the real world, just you and him.

He was already waiting in the lobby when you got there, despite you being five minutes early. He was sitting with his chin resting on the top of Professor Bobo’s head while staring out the window. When he saw you walking up, barely restrained excitement took over his features.

After finalizing everything with the nurses you were good to go.

Rafe grabbed your hand, and you walked out to the parking lot together.

When you got to your car you turned to each other. Rafe’s eyes were soft as he tilted his head, asking for permission.

You nodded and without a second thought he kissed you. It was gentle with the promise of more to come.

“Thank you,” he whispered as you pulled back.

“For what?”

“For giving me a reason to want to live.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Thanks for reading! If feel like the ending was a little rushed but I kinda ran out of steam lol. Feedback is appreciated!

#rafe obx #rafe x reader #rafe cameron #rafe fanfiction #rafe outer banks #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #obx fanfiction #obx kooks #obx fic #drew starkey #outerbanks rafe #rafe imagine #rafe cameron x you

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xetlynn · 2 years ago

Text

Twilight- Youngest Shadow: Chapter Eight, The Game

(Alice X Reader X Jasper)

[Seven] [Eight] [Nine]

warning: slight homophobia

Longest chapter so far with almost 4k words

Jessica and I have been practicing outside, Angela taking pictures. Only practicing since Jessica has nagged me for the past few days now. Trying to spike on me every time we do so. Eric was studying the prom fliers, “Monte Carlo? That’s our theme?” Jessica frowns at the lame theme that was chosen for this year. “Gambling, tuxedos and Bond. James- Ow!” She threw a ball roughly at Eric’s face, I smirk.

“Oh. My. God.” Angela exclaims, who was once scanning to take more pictures is now frozen in place. We follow to where she was staring and it was just my sister and Edward showing up to school together. I hadn’t really been speaking to Alice and Jasper after the night with their family. Overhearing that it was destined for me to have a near death experience just for me to know who I was in my past lives and they knew it was going to happen. It also works because I hate attention, something I know Bella hates too.

Throughout the rest of the day Jasper and Alice would stare at me, trying to pull me aside to talk to me only for me to ignore them and hurry off to a different area or sit somewhere else if we shared a class. But at the end of the day it was a waste when Alice came up to me, taking my hand in hers. “Hey, what’s going on lovebug?” I gave her a look for the stupid nickname and she laughs. “Sorry, but seriously why are you avoiding us?” She pouts, I lick my lips getting ready to actually say it but then something stops me once I lock eyes with her.

“I needed some time to think about us.” I tell her, “I’m having a hard time with everything, trying to understand and I overwhelmed myself at your place I felt embarrassed.” I lied, I was fine with the whole vampire thing surprisingly. That’s not what bothered me. What bothered me was the fact that she knows I’m going to have a near death experience and won’t even warn me. I don’t understand how that’s protecting me. Maybe I’ll bring it up later.

“Ah, that makes sense. I’m sorry it’s so overwhelming for you, my lovebug.” She moves my hair behind my ear sending shivers down my spine. It honestly made me forget how many people were around, until we get shouted at. “What the fuck?” A guy yelled, I step away from Alice and we turn to see some guy I don’t think I’ve ever seen before in school. “You guys gay or some shit?” He laughs, my eyebrows furrow as Alice glares at him.

“Y’all should kiss!” His friends hit him in the shoulders like he did something with that. I glance over and see Jasper staring at the scene as well. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” The three guys all laugh, I flick them off and they just laugh harder.

“I need to go, my dad made plans. Just um, come over later.” I tell her, walking away to my bike, getting my helmet on and riding off as quick as possible due to the embarrassment I just had to endure. I ended up coming to the cafe later than Bella which meant I was super late.

There were a group of basketball players outside and I mentally cursed seeing Mike there as well. “[Name]! I didn’t know you were a lesbo!” One of the guys shouted at me and my eyes widen but I try to ignore it, heading towards the door but he blocks it. “Does her man know?” His arm was on the door and he leaned on it. I stare up at him not saying anything. “What?” You got something to say?” He asks, I take my helmet off, putting it on the ground, staring back up at him. I take a deep breath. “I asked you something.” He repeats, I take a step back. In the corner of my eye I see my dad stand up from his spot in the booth. Bella seemed alarmed. “Come on, man. She don’t deserve this plus her dad’s the chief.” Mike puts a hand on his shoulder but the guy doesn’t back up. I dip my hand into my front pocket of my jeans.

“Does your dad know you like-” I take my hand out and spray him with the pepper spray Charlie gave me. He stumbles back holding his eyes and screaming in pain. The cafe door swings open. What happened!?” He angrily asks, “Nothing, sir. He went too far, he was antagonizing her.” Mike blurts out, the kid groans outloud but the group pushes him away. Charlie turns to look at me. “What the hell was that, [Name]?” He grabbed onto my arms as I try my hardest to look away from him. “[Name] Swan, answer me right now.”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” I exclaim, tears welling in my eyes. “Please.”

His grip loosens, his gaze softening as well. “Are you okay at least?”

“I’m fine.” I sniffle, wiping my eyes, he lets me go and grabs my helmet for me. “I should wash my hands.” I lift up my hand that’s covered in the pepper spray, I didn’t wipe my eyes with this hand don’t worry. He sighs, shaking his head, pushing me inside. Cora the waitress who knows about my whole life from dad places a hand on my back. “You alright, sweetheart.” I just nod, heading straight for the bathroom to wash my hands quickly then going back to the booth with my sister and dad.

The dinner ends up being a little awkward as they talk to each other but treat me like they need to walk on egg shells. I forced myself to eat so I don’t have to talk much so I just listen to them.

After getting home I rush straight to my room where they were already standing, I shut the door, locking it right away and collapsing on my bed. Wanting to just sob and go to sleep but I know I should talk to them. Definitely not about what I heard though, I’m already exhausted from pepper spraying a basketball player. Alice sits behind me, motioning for me to lay on her. I end up just putting my head on her lap and she plays with my hair.

I stare up at Jasper, he steps closer, wiping my cheek that had a tear fall. I noticed how his face seemed stiffer than normal. I then remembered how it hurts him to be around people still. His thirst stronger than the others.

“I saw what happened, I’m sorry we didn’t stop it.” Alice apologizes, I look up at her and she seemes extremely beat up over it. I place my hand on top of hers. “It’s okay, don’t worry.” I attempt to assure her. She smiles gently. “I won’t go near you at school anymore. You don’t deserve to go through that.” She tells me, I sit up from her lap. “What? No, let them talk.” I grab her hand tighter even though I know she barely feels it. “But-”

“I know how I am with attention but I don’t care anymore. Plus I have my pepper spray.” I wink and they both laugh quietly. “Are you sure, darling?” Jasper questions, I pull him closer to me, having him actually sit down now. “Of course, let them talk. What else are they going to do?” I shrug, Alice stands up, going over and sitting on my lap. “If that’s what you want.” She kisses my nose softly. I nod, “It is.”

We then sit there silently and I think about my thoughts from before. I know I’m not going to bring it up to them but I want to so badly understand their thinking. Understand why they do what they do.

“You’re anxious.” Jasper states, I suck on the inside of my cheek not respnding. “Why?” Alice questions. “Just wondering about how that would play out.” I lie, well partially.

“Mmm, it will be okay. We’ll be there. Also, we want to take you somewhere tomorrow. Edward will be picking you and Bella up.” She stands up from my lap, she takes Jasper’s hand but I stop both of them from leaving.

“Wait, I want to um.. I want to try something.” I tell them, getting up from my bed, first taking Alice’s face in the palm of my hands. She smiles, automatically knowing what I’m doing she closes her eyes. I lean slowly, my heart racing as I kiss her lips longer than a few seconds. I push away after a little bit, we both look up to see Jasper watching and I chuckle, pulling him towards me and doing the same thing.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow.” I wave them off and not even seconds later they’re gone.

A few hours later my mom ends up calling me, I pick it up lazily knowing that either Bella or Charlie had told her what happened. I hear loud noises in the background fading away. “[Name]!” it was my moms voice yelling, I jolted away from my own hand then go back to it. “Yes, mom?” I ask, “I heard you pepper sprayed someone! What did he do?” She says, I throw my head back annoyed.

“Mom, I’m fine.” I tell her but I knew she wouldn’t be satisfied with that answer. “[Name]” She warns me. “Mom, please.” I nervously say. “I will have your father investigate what happened if you do not tell me right now.” Of course she pulls that out, “You don’t have to do that.” I tell her.

“It was just a guy calling me a lesbo or whatever. No biggie.” I quickly say, this happened before in Arizona, I’ve been called names my whole life. Especially for not liking guys and never having a boyfriend. “If it’s no biggie why’d you punch?” She interrogates me, I roll my eyes like before. “I was cornered.” That wasn’t a lie necessarily. She hums, still not satisfied. “Who’s the girl, [Name].” She says and it felt like my eyes pop out of my socket. “Mom!”

“Oh, come on [Name]. I know my daughter.” She laughs, “Who is she?” She repeats herself and I sigh. “Her name is Alice.” She squeals in laughter. “Mom!” I whine for her to stop. “I’m sorry! I’m just happy you found someone.” She tells me. “Well, actually it’s her and her boyfriend.” I bite my lip waiting for judgement.

“Hey, I can’t judge your lifestyle. Two people?” She excitedly laughs and I shake my head. “Please don’t tell anyone. No one knows except Bella and that’s because they’re also apart of the Cullen family.” I sigh, picking at my finger nails. “Woww I need to see what these people look like if both of my daughters decided to date them.” She jokes, I smile to myself just happy she’s not upset with my dating life even though I know it is definitely out of the ordinary.

“Well, I should get going to bed mom. I love you.” I say, “Oh, I love you too, goodnight!” She blows kisses over the phone and i press the button to hang up. Finally laying down for the night and going to bed.

The next day I was sitting with Charlie as Bella came into the room. Charlie is currently cleaning his rifle, he goes to greet her but she cuts him off. “I have a date with Edward Cullen. [Name] does too with his foster brother.” She announcses and I quietly laugh at his facial expression as he glances between the both of us. “They’re too old for you two.” He responds. “We’re both juniors plus Jasper is only a Senior. Also I thought you liked the Cullens.” She says, I tilt my head agreeing with her. “And I thought you weren’t interested in any of the boys in town.” Charlie brings up, she seems frustrated. “Edward doesn’t live in town and its in the early stage- and whatever he’s outside right now.” This even causes me to stop every movement I was making like my dad just did. “Now? He’s out there?”

“He wants to meet you. Officially.” She tells him. “Good.” Charlie cocks his rifle. I snicker, earning a look from her. “Be nice, okay? He’s important.” He nods reassuring her, she goes to the door and opens it to reveal her new boyfriend. “Cheif Swan I wanted to formally introduce myself. I’m Edward.” He extends his hand and Charlie hesitantly takes it grunting a small hello. “I won’t keep the two out late tonight. We’re just going to play baseball with my family.” He informs him also informing us because we had no idea either. “Bella’s going to play baseball?” Charlie is shocked, definitely because Bella doesn’t play sports. “Yes sir, that’s the plan.” He nods. “Well, more power to you I guess.”

“They’ll be safe with my family, I promise.” Edward makes eye contact with him to show him he was being serious. He exits and as I get up Charlie holts both of us from following. “You both got that pepper spray- [Name] I know you do.” I laugh at his words. “Dad.” Bella shakes her head, we then both leave and climb into this massive jeep. “Your father thinks you should go to an all-girls school.” Edward says to Bella in an amused tone.

“No fair, reading Charlie’s mind.” I sat in the backseat and I notice the baseball cap the same time as Bella. “And since when do vampires like baseball?”

I mentally cringed to that question. “It’s the American past time. Plus, there’s a thunderstorm coming. It’s the only time we can play. You’ll see why.” He explains and now I’m perked up at the thought of seeing my two play. Watch them in action of a sport I actually really enjoy.

We finally get through the clearing of woods, it was a field and there were storm clouds erupting in the sky. The jeep comes to a stop, Esme and Emmett come over to greet us, Emmett helping me down. I look around for Jasper and Alice, “Good thing you’re here. We need some umpires.” Esme smiles sweetly. Emmett has a wicked grin caused by her words. “She thinks we cheat.” He laughs. “I know you cheat.” She turns to both of us. “Call em how you see em girls.” She pats us. I see Alice on the pitchers mound and she gives me a quick wave before speaking up. “It’s time!” Right then a rumble of thunder shakes and I grip onto Bella excitedly. We both stand right by Esme who’s the catcher. Alie pitches and Rosalie smashes the ball with an aluminum bat. It cracks loudly right when a thunder hits at the same time. “Now I get why you need thunder.” My sister says. The ball goes right into the forest, Edward running after it.

“That has to be a home run.” Bella insists as we wait. “Edward’s very fast.” Was all she said in return. Rosalie darts around the bases, it looks like a blur but Edward rasces out with the ball whipping to home plate. Esme catches it milliseconds before Rosalie slides in.

“You’re out?” Bella says questioning herself and I sadly nod as I was kind of rooting for Rosalie. Esme nods too. Next up is Carlisle and he hits a line drive, Emmett and Edward race for it, colliding with one another with so much force it felt like I could feel it all in the ground like a mini earthquake. They end up missing the ball anyway, Carlisle is safe. I cheer for him, everyone smiles, almost.

Jasper is up and I watch him and Alice make eye contact and I fall in awe. Jasper whacks the ball into the forest like Rosalie just did. Before they can go after it Alice gasps and they all come to a stop. “Stop! I didn’t see them!” She shouts, Jasper pulling me behind him, Rosalie coming to my side as well. “They’re traveling so quickly.” Alice says in a worried tone.

“You said they left the country.” Rosalie exclaims. “They did but then they heard us.” Alice looks at Edward. “And changed their minds.” Edward turns to Bella. “Put your hair down.”

Alice races over, shoving a hat onto my head. “They smell you too.” She sadly says and I raise an eyebrow. I thought no one was effected by my blood?

“Like that will help. I could smell her across the field.” Edward ignores Rosalie as he arranges Bella’s hair a certain way. “I shoudn’t have brought you here. I’m so sorry.” Edward says to Bella specifically. They all turn towards the forest and there’s three vampires that emerge out. I look down to their bare feet then back up to their dark red eyes. The one with darker skin and long hair lifts his hand up to show the baseball. “I believe this belongs to you.” He tosses the ball to Carlisle who catches it with ease. He smiles politely. “Thank you.”

“Could you use three more players?” He questions. “Of course.” Carlisle nods. “I’m Laurent, this is Victoria and James.” He introduces them.

“Would you like to bat first?” Carlisle asks, Laurent ends up with the bat. I stand with Edward and Rosalie with my sister near the jeep. I watch Edwards eyes lock with James. “I’m afraid your hunting activities have caused something of a mess for us.” Carlisle says.

“Our apologies. We didn’t realize the territory had been claimed.” Laurent responds and to be frank he seemed nice and genuine but the other two… I don’t know. “Yes, we maintain a permanent residence.” The three have a shared look of surprise from his words.

“Really? Well we won’t be a problem anymore.” Laurant quickly tells everyone. “The humans were tracking us but we led them east.” The Victoria girl says just as Jasper pitches the ball, Laurent slams it but Alice is already up in a tree in a flash, she catches the ball with a thwap sound as it met her hand. Laurent looked pissed as James smiles, obviously glad he met worthy opponents.

James is next and it was like a power slam, he runs past first base then Edward, then us two, then wind moves Bella’s hair and before I even realize it James comes to a complete stop. His head whips around to Bella and I, his nostrils flare. “You brought some snacks.” Alice rushes over to me, clinging onto my arm as Jasper was now in front of me beside Edward.

The Cullens now all in a position. “The girls are with us.” Carlisle says, “We won’t harm them” Laurent reassures him, trying to diffuse the situation. “Just try it.” Emmett says, practically looking for a fight.

“I think it’s best you leave.” Carlisle says, Rosalie puts her hand on Emmett to calm him down. “Yes, I can see the game is over. We’ll go now.” He says, turning to walk away but looks back. “James.” His hand goes onto the guys shoulder finally getting him to walk away.

Once they’re gone Esme collects the bats. “Get them out of here. We’ll follow them.” Carlisle says, running off with Jasper and Rosalie towards the other three. Edward scoops up Bella as Alice rushes me to the jeep. Both of them strap us in like little kids. “James is a tracker. I saw his mind. The hunt is his obsession and my reaction set him off.” The two get in and Edward whips the jeep around. As Edward explains things to Bella I look at Alice. “How come my scent effects him?” I whisper to her. “I don’t know, I think it’s like Edward said he’s a hunter.” She sits by me and holds me close to her.

“The first place he’ll go is your house. He’ll track your scent from there.” Edward says and I jump up as Bella looks horrified. “What?! Charlie’s there, he’s in danger because of me! Because of us!” She shouts and I start breathing heavily, Alice take my hand and tries to soothe me. “Then we’ll lead the tracker away from him somehow.” He calmly replies and I just knew it was to calm Bella down but it’s not working.

Bella bursts into the house as I sit outside. “I said leave me alone!” Bella yells. “Bella don’t do this. Just think about it please.” Edward pleads and if i didn’t know what was happening I would’ve believed this. “Get out it’s over.” She slams the door and I end up going in a few seconds later. “Bella? What happened?” Charlie asks, his face full of worry. “I have to get out of this place. Out of Forks. I’m leaving and so is [Name].” Bella runs up the stairs, Charlie follows her. My heart breaks as I have to go along with it too. Bella slams the door behind her and he looks down at me. “What happened?” He asked.

I shrugged, “Dad it’s best for us to go. You saw how people treat me.” I explain my part of the reasoning. I walk to my room and Alice stood there handing me my bag. I stand in my room for a little bit then I peck her lips before jogging back over. “I thought you liked him?” Charlie asks and I obviously missed a little bit of the conversation. “That’s why I have to leave. I don’t want this I want to go home.” Bella says.

Bella then goes to charge down the stairs but Charlie follows her. “Your mother’s not even in Phoenix.” Charlie reminds her. “She’ll come home. I’ll have [Name] call her.”

“You can’t drive home now. I’ll take you two to the airport tomorrow morning.” I watch his facial expressions and the look makes me want to cry. “I want to drive. I need to think. I’ll pull into a motel in a few hours I promise.” She says and goes down more steps but Charlie blocks her from going further to the door. “Bells I know I’m not around much but I can change that. We can do more things together. [Name] I’ll make sure people stop bothering you. You can go on the rez with Jacob.” He pleads with us and I just hide behind Bella, not wanting to see his hurting expression any more. “Like watch more baseball on the flat screen? Or go to the Coffee shop? Same people, same steak, same berry cobbler every night? That’s you dad. Not me. Not us.” Bella exclaims and I know it hits him hard. I glance up and his eyes focus on me. “Do you… feel that way too?” His voice was soft and it partially broke. I suck in a deep breath. “Yes. I’m tired of being treated like a freak here dad.” I frown. “Bella, [Name]... I just got you two back.” I squeeze my eyes shut having a feeling where this is about to go so we can leave and as much as I don’t want her to go there we need to go. “And if I don’t get out now I’m going to get stuck here like mom did and I don’t want this for [Name] either.” Charlie looks stunned and we take that to our advantage, pushing through him and out of the door. We rush to her truck and she drives away.

I glance back and see him staring out of the window.

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grandlinedreams · 1 year ago

Note

Hey hey hey! Your writing captures these characters in ways that I could never. I’ve had this idea wracking my brain, of Ace as a mechanic for some reason- but, hear me out. The shop owner is Whitebeard, and Ace meets Pops daughter when she comes in to help out one day at the shop not knowing who she is, and I honestly think you can bring this vision to life.

Thank-you, it really is an honor to hear that and I appreciate it!! But also BESTIE UR BRAIN MWAH MWAH MWAH that is SUCH a good concept and I hope that I can do it justice!!

[Heads up!: mechanic!au, afab!reader/gendered terms]

ㅡ

It's sheer luck that lands Ace the job. He's been looking for a while now, desperate to land something that pays more than pocket change an hour because even with Sabo and Luffy also employed, they've been barely making ends meet.

He won't tell them that though, swipes bills out of Sabo's hand before his brother can even open them. "Not your job to worry about it," he tells him when Sabo glares. "It's mine."

He doesn't want them to have to worry about things like that, not when Sabo's found a good balance in college and Luffy's finally considering college at all. So when he finds the ad for the position while aimlessly scrolling through one of the many job application sites, he offers up a plea to whatever god might be listening and applies.

And he gets an interview.

The shop, aptly titled 'Whitebeard Mechanics' is surprisingly in the nicer end of town, situated at the very edge just before the road leads into the sprawling heart of stores and gated communities.

The smell of motor oil is what he catches first, the muffled sound of voices overlapping from an open garage bay and undercut by the whirr of machinery.

"Are you Ace?" He pivots to find the speaker watching him, a man with an interesting cut of blond hair and blue eyes that evaluate him in a way that makes Ace's nerves all the worse. When he nods, the man holds a hand out. "I'm Marco, co-owner of the shop."

"Nice to meet you," Ace says, shaking his hand. Marco's grip is firm, his fingers calloused and seemingly permanently stained with axel grease.

"Pops is waiting for you," Marco says, jerking his head for Ace to follow him into the main building. There's a waiting area with worn chairs and a coffee machine set onto a wheeled storage cabinet, the only decor that of a tropical plant in the corner. "He's in his office."

Ace follows his gesture, a door with a shiny gold plaque that labels it as such and swallows, moving towards it. Steeling himself with a breath, Ace steps inside.

The man sitting behind the desk is Edward "Pops" Newgate ㅡ or at least that's what the little desk tag says, and Ace can tell that the older man would tower over him if he stood.

"You must be Ace," he greets, gesturing to the plush chair in front of his desk. "Have a seat."

Ace does so, hands resting on his knees to hide the nervous tremor of them as he watches the other man rifle through a folder ㅡ his application.

"Your references are acceptable," Pops says, and tosses his folder down. "Background checks out, no criminal history…" He leans forward, staring at Ace over steepled fingers. "But why do you want the job?"

Ace blinks. The threat of my brothers and I going homeless and hungry is a great motivator, he wants to say, but he doesn't. Instead he thinks for a moment, shaping his words carefully.

By the time he's done, Pops is smiling. "Congratulations," he says, "you've got the job."

ㅡ

Settling into his new job is surprisingly easy. There's a natural camaraderie when there's no hierarchy to be found ㅡ and friendship comes naturally.

So it's to be expected when Ace comes into work and stops by one of the garage bays, he makes a beeline for the pair of familiar boots sticking out from beneath the undercarriage of a vintage car.

"Marco," he says as he approaches and knocks his own boot against the one closest to him. "You should come out with me and my brothers for drinks sometime."

He expects the blond to answer and when he doesn't, Ace frowns and nudges his boot again before stepping back when the dolly begins to roll from underneath the car.

It's only then that he realizes that the boots are not Marco's, and the person on the dolly is not his friend. "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't kick my feet while I'm working."

Ace stares for all of thirty seconds before his mouth starts working again. "You're a girl," he says and immediately kicks himself for both how dumb he sounds and how your eyes narrow. "I ㅡ no, I just mean ㅡ I've never met you before."

"It's because she only shows up when she wants to," answers Thatch from behind him, and he watches you roll your eyes and scrub a hand against a smear of oil on your cheek as you get up from the dolly.

"More like whenever dad decides he wants me to come in and lend a hand," you huff, taking the towel that Thatch hands you to wipe your hands off before you turn towards Ace. "So you're the new guy, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm Ace," he says, mentally patting himself on the back for not stuttering. Your eyes flick over him, assessing him with a curious gleam to your eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Ace. I'm [Name]." Your attention shifts to Thatch as you clap him on the shoulder and begin walking away with him. "Please tell me dad hasn't killed that plant in the lobby while I've been gone."

Watching you go, it's only then that Ace registers that you've called Pops dad.

ㅡ

"So…is Pops really your dad?"

Weeks worth of tentative exchange and working together has afforded him the chance to eat lunch with you when you're at the shop and with the way you look at him over your sandwich, it's clear that you still think he's a little strange.

"It's what it says on my birth certificate," you answer, and Ace catches himself watching the movement of your mouth as you talk, hurriedly averting his gaze before you can call him out. "Most of the guys are like brothers to me since I've grown up around them. Dad has a habit of pseudo-adopting the people who work for him."

He knows that well, the parental warmth with which Pops has a way of talking to him making him try not to think about his actual parents. It doesn't matter, not when he has Sabo and Luffy.

"And what about me?" The question is out of his mouth before he can stop it. "Am I a brother to you?"

For one horrifying moment, you stare at him as though he's grown two heads ㅡ and then you laugh. Not mocking, not teasing, a full bodied genuine laugh that Ace swears sounds better than anything else he's ever heard.

"You're still the newbie," you say, but your tone is colored with affection even as you raise an eyebrow. "Thought you already had brothers."

"I do," Ace answers. He's mentioned them to you a couple of times, entertained the idea of introducing you ㅡ and then immediately scrapped it for fear of the resulting potential disaster.

But he wants to know where he stands with you, aware that his own feelings for you are a little deeper than just that of coworkers. He's also aware that his boss is your father, and that there are a thousand ways this could go very, very wrong.

Doesn't stop him from wanting to try, though. And it gives him hope for the fact that you're not immediately writing him off, compelling him to continue, "Let me take you out on a date."

Of all the things you'd expected Ace to follow that up with, asking you out is not one of them. It's rare that anyone isn't spooked off by your circle of pseudo-brothers, and even rarer still that they don't tuck tail and run when your father is involved.

You should say no. You should make it clear that there's a boundary not meant to be crossed, even without the fact that your father is his boss. But you can't deny that he's grown on you, with his spatter of freckles and loud laugh, a magnetic charm that draws people to him, yourself included.

"Okay," you say, surprising both him and yourself. "But you better not disappoint me, pretty boy."

Ace grins. "Wouldn't dream of it."

#ㅡmine.#one piece x reader #one piece scenario #ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #ㅡanswered.#anonymous #–ml: ace.

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rowdyluv · 9 months ago

Text

Peter

based off of Taylor Swift’s song from The Tortured Poets Department

warning: a bit sad, longing for ex-lover, use of y/n

Ethan Edwards x fem!Reader

summary: Ethan and reader childhood friends —> lovers —> break up —> reader heartbreakingly waiting for his return.

author’s note: the photos are intended to tell the story them growing up. the last last picture are two quotes from the book “better than the movies” by Lynn Painter. (can be found on Amazon, books a million, barnes & noble, etc. links were too long to post)

Ethan and (y/n)’s older childhood friends always joked the two would fall in love one day. It was always a big laugh between the two of you because what business do 8 year olds have thinking about love?

In a blink of an eye you’re dancing at your end of the year eighth grade formal together, your heart has never reacted the way it was at that specific moment. Confused and a bit scared you kept your head staring at the floor while your hands were firmly placed on Ethan’s shoulders. His hands placed awkwardly on your waist. He cleared throat and paused both of your movements. “Hey (y/n)? Can I do something and you promise you not get mad if you don’t like it? We can just forget about it after if it’s weird.” His words were rushed and hands shaking. Your eyes connected with his, a slight nod yes to confirm you were okay with whatever it was he was asking for. As if the world moved in slow motion and no one else was in the school’s lobby, where the formal was happening but the two of you, Ethan ducked his head down just the few inches he needed to in order to give a quick kiss.

The first kiss for both of you.

Awkward, yet not weird for either of you. The beginning of what turned into a long beautiful journey. Until it wasn’t beautiful.

꧁꧂

“(Y/N) I am so tired of this repetitive argument. It happens over and over. I got accepted to Michigan and I got a scholarship for hockey. Their program is notorious for building up their athletes and getting them drafted. Drafted! You’ve known since we were kids that the NHL is what I wanted for myself.” Ethan tried to keep himself composed until he couldn’t. His desire, compassion, and dedication to chasing his dream often overshadowed his love and dedication to you. His childish mannerisms peaking through. “I just want to know where I fit into this plan? This future of yours.” You tried to keep your voice strong and unwavering but just like each time before the lump in your throat prevented you from even being able to breathe properly.

He sat down on the edge of your bed. Quiet minutes passed before he finally spoke again. “Maybe there isn’t an us in the future..” His words are so quiet you aren’t sure if you heard him correctly. “E?” You whimpered. Tears streaming one after the other. He didn’t look at you right away. Knowing if he did his resolve would shatter.

Taking a deep breath, starting over. Looking at you after a couple minutes had passed by and leaning over to wipe your cheeks dry. “I know this is going to be hard to hear. It’s killing me to even say it. It killed me to even think about it recently. I’m going to be gone for a long time for school. I won’t be returning home. My parents will be coming there over the holidays. It will be easier with training. I can’t ask you to sit here while you’re going to school yourself and be tied to me. Especially when we will never see each other. Neither of us have the money for traveling to and from. I’ve been so physically sick thinking about leaving you. We’ve only argued since I decided but honey this is what’s best for me and my dreams. I’m sorry I’m being so selfish but I can’t pass this up. If I stay here I take a chance at never having an opportunity at the NHL at least I know I’ll have an opportunity there.” Your tears stopped at some point. Sadness turned to numbness. Lost to the words he was saying.

“(Y/N/N). I can go and grow up while I’m gone. Get drafted. Or not. Then I’ll come find you if you’re still single. . We can live our dreams then. I just can’t ask you to sit here and be miserably alone.” Pressing a quick kiss to your forehead he left your house. That was the last thing he said to you in person. You didn’t see him again before he left. He tried but you declined. Not wanting to hurt anymore than you already were.

꧁꧂

You just watched Ethan’s NHL debut with the New Jersey Devil two weeks ago. Pride swelled in your heart for him but heartbreak also overtook you. He never came back for you. You’re both 24 now, he could’ve come back after college since he was drafted pre-degree but he never did. Since ‘goodbye for now’ turned into ‘goodbye’ you sat down at your desk and started writing him a letter. You were going to mail it to his mom’s house. She can mail it to him.

Dear Ethan,

I hoped you'd return with your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned because love is never lost when perspective is earned and you said you would come and get me, but we were only 17. My shelf life on the fantasies has expired. Please forgive me, Ethan, I really tried to hold on to the days you were mine. But the young girl turned into a woman who sits by her window has turned out the light.

You said you were going to grow up and you were going to come find me. Promises that were oceans deep, but never to keep.

Sincerely,

(Y/N)

Little did you know he was back in town at his parents’ house and received the letter himself. He was there to see you. He was back for you now that he was settled and could care for you both properly. But he was too late. You had shut the door on him. You stopped supporting him quietly. Stopped following the scores of the games and watching. . Ethan played the rest of the season terribly, not having his number fan, supporter there. It didn’t matter if he knew or not that she was always cheering him on. It just solidified for him, he no longer had his rock. His reason for being. That he fucked up all those years ago. That he no longer had a reason for what he thought was his dream. His dream was really your dreams. He wanted the future you wanted with him and now he will never have it all because of his selfishness back at 17.

#ethan edwards #umich hockey #umich fic #umich imagine #y/n #ethan edwards x reader #ethan edwards x y/n #Ethan Edwards fic #Ethan Edwards blurb #hockey fic #hockey blurb #cay writes #cays masterlist #nhl #new writers on tumblr #new jersey devils #nj devils #nj devils fic #hockey

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eddieslooneymoonie · 8 months ago

Text

Sorry for this but….

Angst Eddie Blurb that’s been rotting my brain

Not beta read bc I’m kool (and have no friends atm)

It had been a long day at work. And after that you went straight to the high school as a nurse volunteer for those who were injured but not injured enough to be cared for in the limited hospice space.

The agonizing cries of the burned, broken, and grieving.

They say the town was truly was torn apart.

But then I guess they hadn’t had to watch what that truly means.

You doubt anyone else had to watch bats decend and feast on the flesh of their boyfrie-

No.

He was more than that but you couldn’t get into it right now.

It seemed unfair to you that two things in your life had been torn apart, and the only one you hated more out of those two categories was recovering.

The one you loved most was dead.

Revered only by a handful of people who took turns scrubbing “Satanist” and “Freak” off a false resting place.

For all you knew (and tried not to think about) his body had become part of a creature you’d have to kill in the next few weeks.

All you knew for certain was that when Edward Munson had taken his last painful breath in your bloodied arms,

so had you.

So when you finally got home after another lifeless day on instinctual auto pilot, the last thing you wanted to see was a ransacked home.

Not that you cared. Not much of it was his anyways, which was about all you possessed with any fire.

But you were 𝙩𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙙.

You dropped all your belongings and decided that maybe you were wrong about strength lying in moving forwards. All you wanted was to fall.

So you did, slumped against the doorway with nothing but a sore ribcage from crying yourself to sleep every night and a dirty bandana folded nicely in your back pocket.

Bare bones of a love you thought was forever.

Then you heard something that made you question if you really hadn’t survived.

The ragged notes produced only by Eddie’s most prized possession-

and now yours.

Something you had safely tucked under your bed.

You listened hard with your head still settled against the cold tiled floor of your doorway.

There was no way it could be anything else but-

Sweetheart.

You bolted upright in a murderous rage. You couldn’t care less about someone walking in and taking your half burnt belongings but how DARE they help their grimy fingers to the last piece of your soul you had.

You grab the ax you have hanging above the door,

one of 7 weapons hidden in your home.

Then you feel it.

An ice in your veins only in the past unleashed against bar scumbags and then naked looking alien fucks from the Upside Down.

And then…..

And then bats that took half of you and all of him.

It was no question.

Whoever decided to enter your shitty one bedroom apartment probably had no idea it was the last thing they’d ever do.

Another aspect of you life the Upside Down had taken from you.

Your humanity.

Gripping the axe in a way far more comfortable than your own bed was sometimes, you head down the hallway to the soon to be murder victim.

Just when you reach the door the gentle strumming stops.

So do your steps and breath, paused in pursuit like the predator you’d been forced to become.

You take a slight step forward and peek through the doorway crack-

Only for your eyes to meet messy brown curls, scarred abdominal, ripped to hell black jeans, and dirt covered bare feet.

You shove through the door and the figure doesn’t even flinch.

Instead he looks up from plucking the strings of a guitar he can no longer play comfortably now that there is claws where fingers once were.

Under the red eyes, sunken cheekbones and feral smile you still recognize the figure in front of you.

Dirtier than the day you met him but somehow more defined and twice as beautiful.

Hotter than sin and looking fresh out of hell.

“Hey Trouble,” Eddie’s grin widens.

In his next words you see his teeth, all sharp and pretty.

“I’ve missed you.”

#eddie x reader #eddie oneshot #eddie spaghetti isn’t deadie:)#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson blurb #stranger things #eddie the banished

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honeylations · 2 years ago

Text

- Let Me Be Your Edward Cullen -

HUH YUNJIN x FEM!READER

Prompt: Being a total book nerd, you wanted to spend your entire day off finishing the entire Twilight novel series but it results in a sulky/jealous Huh Yunjin who tries her best in gaining your undivided attention…Even if it meant becoming your Walmart Edward Cullen.

Warning(s): swearing, jealous/sulkyYunjin, bookwormReader, comedy, puppyvibesYunjin

A/N: Idk how this suddenly came into my mind one day but I couldn’t stop giggling to myself at how cute this is😭

Manifesting YUNJIN CULLEN!!

———

It felt like ages since you and the girls finally had a day off without constant interviews and photo shoots so you decided to cozy up in your shared room with Yunjin and read your Twilight sequels.

The day you and Yunjin met was your first dance practice. You somehow arrived at the studio early so you sat down by the mirror and buried your face in your thick novel, trying to pass time until your members arrived. Yunjin was the first to walk in, absolutely mesmerised how angelic you looked with your metal frame glasses, long hair and bare face. Long story short, she fell in love with you and confessed her feelings a day after you debuted and you were happy to say you felt the same.

Since then, she knew your love for books. Romance ones especially.

She even gifted you a whole bag of romance novels for your birthday and you managed to read every single one within a few weeks. And you were down to do the same to the Twilight sequel Eunchae bought you recently when her and Kazuha stopped by a book store during their snack errands.

Here you were on your bed, legs warm under your quilt and the book resting in your hands, already half way through the story. Yunjin walked in wearing her own glasses which you twinned with after she begged at how cute it would look. She bent over to kiss your lips before sitting next to you.

“Hey baby” she greeted softly.

“Hi” You responded quickly before resuming your reading.

Yunjin’s brows furrowed as you didn’t use your usual nicknames for her but she shrugged it off. “Whatcha reading, pretty girl?”

“Twilight!!”

“Oh is that the Vampire thingy?” Yunjin asked while peeking over your shoulder as if she was actually interested in reading such a boring novel.

“Yep!”

“Oh I’ve watched the movie. It’s kinda cringe, don’t you think?”

“It’s romance! And plus, vampires are so hot” You commented, eyes never leaving the page.

Yunjin pouted cutely. She never thought she’d get jealous over a vampire. She pinched your cheek. “Can I have more kisses? It’s our day off, you know”

“After I finish this novel, babe. You’ll get all the kisses you want”

“But that’s gonna take forever! Look how thick that book is!” She threw a tantrum next to you.

“If you somehow magically became Edward Cullen, then my attention is all yours” You chuckled, flipping to the next page.

Yunjin sat up quickly and squinted, an idea forming into her mind. “Ok then. I’m gonna go and…do something BYE BABE LOVE YOU!” She kissed your temple before bolting out the door.

As she exited the room, she ran to Eunchae who was snacking on sliced fruits at the dining table. “Manchae!”

“Oh hi Unnie. Want some apples?”

“No thank you. You still got that glitter you used for your poster the other night?”

“The silver one? Yeah, it’s under my bed. Why?”

“Y/n won’t give me her attention unless I’m Edward Cullen” The 01 liner frowned and crossed her arms.

“Edward Cullen from Twilight? Im pretty sure she was joking Unnie” Eunchae giggled but Yunjin was serious.

She was gonna die if she didn’t get your loving soon. “Im willing to do anything for her affection, man. I need to find my light brown contacts too, for fucks sake”

“Language, young lady” Chaewon appears, slapping the back of Yunjin’s head before taking one of Eunchae’s sliced apples and popping it into her mouth.

“What’s wrong with you this time, Huh Yunjin?” The leader asked, Sakura and Kazuha coming in and sitting down.

“You look stress, Unnie” Zuha commented.

“Hey relax guys, I’m just trying to fulfil my nerd of a girlfriend’s dreams, okay? If she wants Edward Cullen, then I’ll be her Edward Cullen”

The other members giggled before cheering her on. “You go Huh Yunjin! We’ll help you out” Sakura smiled, making Yunjin’s eyes go wide.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah! It worries me when Y/n spends the entire day reading a book. She needs to go outside sometimes” Chaewon said, a hand on her hip.

“What’s your plan?” Eunchae asked Yunjin who took a deep breath in.

“Well for starters, I’ll do my makeup and have my light brown contacts in. Then I’ll just cover my body in glitter and recreate that scene where Edward let’s the sun shine on his tiddies and shows it to Bella”

“I don’t think that’s how the scene went but I get the drift. Let’s go to the bathroom!” Kazuha laughed, the 5 girls running upstairs, ensuring you didn’t hear their plan.

An hour and a half later…

The other girls decided to go out and eat ramen after helping Yunjin who gulped and peeked through the door, seeing you still in the same reading position.

“Babe” Yunjin whispered.

You hummed in response, not bothering to look up.

“Remember how you said you’d give me attention if I became Edward Cullen?”

You hummed again.

“Well. Here you go” Yunjin sighed and walked in, standing in front of the window where the sun shone through brightly.

Hearing those words, you finally looked up and your eyes widened as Yunjin started unbuttoning her long sleeve, her light brown eyes looking deep into yours.

‘Oh she did not…’ you thought, trying not to laugh.

Finally popping the last button, she stripped the top off and threw it aside, exposing her shining, glittery body. Your eyes scanned from her shoulders down to her gorgeous abs that sparkled from the light. “Holy…”

“Is this good enough to get your attention yet?”

You smiled and set your book down. “Hmmm, I don’t know. Are you able to carry me on your back while running?” You asked as a joke.

But of course your girlfriend didn’t take it as a joke so she snatch you up and gave you a piggy back before running out the room and attempted to go down the stairs. Seeing where this was going, your eyes widened and you jumped off Yunjin’s back who missed a step and fell down the rest of the stairs with a loud thud.

You gasped. “OH MY GOD, YUNJIN!” You screamed as you ran downstairs and saw your topless girlfriend sitting up, rubbing her head.

“Ow”

“For god’s sakes, ‘Jin, everything I said was a joke!” You said with worry, rubbing her slightly bruised head.

“I was just jealous you were reading that book more than spending time with me. I’m sorry” She pouted.

You sighed and pressed your lips softly against her’s, running your fingers through her long hair. “No don’t be sorry. I should’ve been reading that book another time. I’ll give you all the attention now, baby”

“Was I a good Edward Cullen?”

Chuckling, you cupped her face and squished her cheeks together. “You’re way better than Edward Cullen. My gorgeous vampire”

Feeling proud, she leant in and connected your lips again before pulling away.

“Wanna watch a movie?” You asked with love in your eyes.

“Of course! As long as it’s not Twilight though..”

You laughed and gently slapped her shoulder. “You can choose whatever movie you want, my love”

Yunjin jumped happily to her feet and dragged you to the couch where you spent the rest of the day in each other’s arms.

#huh yunjin #yunjin x reader #le sserafim x reader #gxg #wlw

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drifting-pieces-blog-blog · 1 year ago

Note

In ur opinion,who do u think draw moon knight best?

Mine is Declan Shalvey

BOY DID YOU ASK A QUESTION!!!!!!!

I’ve waxed on and on about the writers of Moon Knight. The best ones, the worst ones, a few mediocre ones that got the job done….

But what about the art?

Each artist has their own style, their own ideas, and their own grasp of Moon Knight.

When you get very lucky, you get a writer and artist dream team that create something beautiful.

Let’s start with Bill Sienkiewicz.

(THIS WASN'T EVEN FOR A COMIC. HE JUST FUCKING DREW THIS FOR FUNZIES)

He was not the first to draw Moon Knight. THAT was Don Perlin! Look at this cape design!

He was relatively new to the comic scene, but quickly a very sought after man. New Mutants, Electra, and many others for many different publishers.

And even after he left us he still pops in now and then to remind us that no one…NO ONE can draw Moon Knight like he can. Look at Sienkiewicz JUST FLEXING.

(2014 people!!) Someone came to him and went, "Hey we could use a Moon Knight Variant. Do you wanna dip back in and hand us a little ol' Moony?"

And he gave them this and I'm sure they went "...WTF we didn't even ask for this. We thought he'd just do him perched on a building or something in the distance. What do we do with this? It's too good holy crap."

(2022 because he felt like schooling us again with another cover)

But he gave us more than the cowl. He gave us the men who wear it.

And as amazing as his art was:

He also gave us the most important pieces:

I could wax on and on about Bill all day… But let’s take a look at some other artists.

Kevin Nowlan Kept the dark parts of the suit and the billowing cape.

Bo Hampton is the one that teamed up with Zelenetz to give us a fantastic sleek and angry design. Here's MK punching some Neo-Nazi in the face!

Chris Warner came later in "First of Khonshu" run and started with a very classic 1990s muscle bound and glitzy design. A design that might start to look familiar to those of you with a sharp eye (look at that belt. We're approaching the BLING age of Moon Knight.)

This was a weird time in comics for Moon Knight. We were switching out writers a lot and he suddenly had a much more Egyptian style theme.

Moon Knight art goes on a WILD ride after this. We get the "Marc Spector" run that spans late 80s and early 80s and the art gets very 90s. Solid, Dark, and BUSY.

Sal Velluto (With the Punisher! This was a fantastic pair up!)

Ron Garney Plays with the sharp edges of the cloak and that’s nice. Also gives his mask a bit more of a definition.

Gary Kwapisz comes in with a BOLD metallic Moon Knight. Just look at those fists! Time time in MK was just wild you guys.

James Fry flies in and tries to make sense of those MUSCLES.

1993 arrived and the 90s hit HARD.

Stephen Platt deep in that 90s style.

What’s happening here? I don’t know. You don’t know. No one knows. But man does it look ACTION COOL.

Muscles got BIG in this period in the 90s. Anatomy got weird and chest size had no limits.

Tommy Lee Edwards steps in and slims our pal Moon Knight back down.

Now THAT is a breath of fresh air. I love this.

Look at the use of that cape! And the hood? The subtle mask outline… Yes please.

Mark Texeira steps in after this. Let me tell you guys about this art. This is the start of the modern age. 2008!

(Look at the little Moon Knight design in the upper right near the signature! OMG little cutie!) Also the details in that rugged face and wet hair.

But how does the suit look?

Nice.

We leave behind the glorious Tex and head to David Finch! You might recognize some of these motiffs as we get to some more popular runs.

Hello there fist spikes! This is when Moon Knight starts to get his reputation as being a bit…punchy…

The point in his cowl gets defined in this style too.

Mico Suayan takes on this hard hitting run too.

Clean lines, dark darks and white whites and that cape! The spikes are gone but the muscles are coming back.

This was a big action packed run and numerous artists got a chance.

Now… This is about where I stop listing every single artist because it gets too fast pace with single issues, annuals, events, and all that fun business. SO here are some highlights. Also I have an upload limit so I'm sorry I can't show you all the beautiful art styles that branched off at this time.

Bong Dazo gave us that little sad startled cat.

Jerome Opeña Had such AMAZING action picks. I’ve never seen action done so well. And that outfit!

I…I could go on forever about this artist and the run he did. But that’s for another day… Just know that I think about it all the time and it lives in my head rent free.

I’m going to skip a lot here and jump to the BIG GUNS.

Hate the run, LOVE the art.

My dear Alex Maleev makes it worth it.

The absolute SLAYING of the white in every image kills me. LOOK. LOOOK AT THE USE OF NEGATIVE SPACE.

It honestly brings me back to Sienkiewicz.

I’m screaming inside holding this up to the moon.

From there we slide SO easily into Declan Shalvey my precious.

You know what I’m talking about.

Ron Ackins Took over from there and it was stellar.

I am going to skip over THREE artists on purpose because not only was the RUN bad (the worst) but also the ART was just the worst. (See BEMIS run. Ugh. Nothing was good in that run.)

Do I need to talk about Greg Smallwood?

Do I really need to post anything about Greg?

Or Cappuccio who works with MacKay's current run?

Or Federico Sabbatini who also fills in with MacKay?

(I would but I'm out of picture space. Thanks Tumblr).

So who is my favorite?

Hard to say… I’m caught up in the colors and designs of some, the action styles of others. Sometimes the raw power of MK’s fighting or just in how clever his cape and cowl are done.

And sometimes I crave that amazing 1980s Sienkiewicz designs of Moon Knight in the rain, Stained Glass Scarlet’s everything, and the shape of Moon Knight (or shapelessness of him).

I could argue that ANY artist that draws Moon Knight during a good run is my favorite. I could forgive most any style if the story is right and the style will weave into the words and the flow of his cape will settle into my heart once again.

And sometimes….

Well…

#Moon Knight #Talk to me about Moon Knight #Ask away #Does that answer your question?#BOY did you ask a question #I always leave out the colorists and inkers and I feel bad #But we wouldn't be here without them #To the finishers too #Layout artists #There are so many people involved in making a comic beautiful

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averagejoesolomon · 1 year ago

Text

Wowza! What a doozy. Thanks for your patience on this one—lots of moving pieces. I hope you're enjoying the action as much as I am. If you're new here, you can read Full Circle from the beginning on Ao3. Happy Friday!

Chapter Six

As a general rule, Matt’s not afraid of a little silence. These days, a good silence has a way of bringing him back to the ranch, on a cool morning after he’s let all the animals out to graze. He used to spend hours in that barn all by himself, cleaning the stalls and filling the feeds, interrupted only by the occasional bird or barn cat. There was a peace about it—the sun cresting over a windy wheat field, sparkling across the morning dew, as muscle memory took over and left his mind to wander. The silence gave him space to think. Gave him time to take a step back and appreciate the little things in life. A silence, when done right, is a lot like a prayer without any of the effort.

This is not one of those silences.

In the twenty minutes since a man named Edward Townsend—apparently of MI6 and apparently not scheduled to arrive in Moscow midway through a mission—was dragged by his collar into the Baxters’ scanned and secured bedroom, Matt hasn’t heard one peep from his London partners. Hasn’t heard a peep from Rachel, either, which is far more disconcerting given there ain’t an inch of soundproofing between the two of them. She’s always had a way of making her silences seem loud, but this one has a bite to it. There’s frost in her features. There’s ice in her eyes. She’s a frozen pond too late into spring, closer to cracking by the second.

She’s furious about the hubbub at the Bolshoi—at least, Matt supposes so, if her car ride spent glaring at Townsend is any indication. The second they got back to the safe house, she changed from black silk to denim-on-denim, and dove straight into a pile of passports. She’s elbow deep in the accompanying paperwork by the time Matt completes his scan of the main room and approaches the small dining room table, wishing he knew how to thaw her out. “Hey,” he starts, with a clumsy clearing of his throat. “Don’t beat yourself up about how tonight went. This place has a way of taking the best laid plans and shoving them through a meat grinder.”

This is probably an understatement, given the scene they caused by rushing out of the theatre during the second act, and Rachel doesn’t miss the opportunity to say so. Pencil still looping through a sloppy and efficient cursive, she glances up from the top of her eyes. “That wasn’t a meat grinder,” she says. “That was a slaughterhouse.”

It’s nice to see her back at her usual level of cynicism. He slides easily into the seat opposite her, resuming his role as the silver lining to all of her gray clouds. “Nah,” he assures her, leaning onto the hind legs of his chair. “I’ve seen slaughterhouses, and there’s always a lot more bloodshed. All of your people are alive, and that counts for a lot. Plus, we got what we came for, didn’t we?”

He gestures toward her small collection of emerald and navy vinyl, every booklet placed neatly in a grid. Knowing her, they’re alphabetized by last name and he wonders which one reads Morgan. Wonders how his own name fits into her report. “We did,” she agrees. “And then some.”

Cold front, moving through. Her severity fractures throughout all of her features. A crease in her brow. The appraising squint of her eyes. Her not-quite dimples are back, carved from a tight frown, and Matt reckons she must know something he doesn’t. With Rachel, it’s always a pretty safe bet.

Even so, he’s got this urge to chip away at her and get back to the softness he saw at the Bolshoi. She’s nearly there, hair tied up in a baby pink scrunchie, pins and jewelry stripped, but there’s still something at the core of her that needs a little more work. “See?” he says. “That’s good news you can take right back to Virginia.”

This doesn’t land the way he hopes. In fact, it winds her up even more. Rachel takes on a particular type of grace when she’s trying hard to appear calm. It’s the kind of subtle thing that might go unnoticed by most, but Matt is in the business of noticing Rachel Cameron and he has been for years. He spots it in her now, moving with the practiced ease of forced fluidity, rather than the natural, absentminded elegance she usually keeps. It’s an act. It’s spycraft.

With steady, thoughtful hands, she collects each of the passports one by one. They sit neatly in her grip, a manicured hand wrapped around their spines. Intention guides her every move as she tucks them back into the beaten up messenger bag. “Matthew?”

He rocks on the unsteady lean of the chair, entirely thoughtless. “Yeah?”

“Why isn’t your passport in this bag?”

Now it’s his turn to freeze, right where he sits, midway through a rock. She doesn’t meet his eyes, focused instead on latching the patinated golden buckles that secure the bag’s leather flap. “What do you mean?” he says. “It’s not in there?”

When she does finally look up, dark brown eyes hold the depth of the mountains, long after the sun goes down, when the whole world feels black and imperceptible. She doesn’t reply with a yes or no, but she doesn’t need to. More of that bitter silence bleeds into the open air between them, and her expectant pause is answer enough.

“Well that’s more good news,” he tries, but he spots a pulse in her jaw, something tight and terse with all kinds of hesitation. All at once, it feels like Townsend isn’t the only one being interrogated, so Matt jumps in with a question of his own, just to even the scales. “That is good news, isn’t it?”

Her hands settle onto the table, folded into a purposeful clasp. “It could be,” she says, and now her words have adopted that same careful cadence as her movement. He wants to shake it out of her, and loosen her back into something genuine. “But it’s my job to consider other possibilities.”

“Other possibilities,” he cautions, but it leaves too much space behind. He doesn’t want her to fill it in on his behalf—Heaven knows the sort of nonsense she’ll think up. He supplies his own nonsense instead. “As in, someone else might have it? Took it before the trade?”

“Maybe.” It drives him crazy, the way she holds everything back. Each of her sentences have their very own miniature silences hidden in the cracks between each word. “Or maybe it was never there to begin with. Maybe, despite all of the work you do in the East, despite years spent dancing behind the Iron Curtain, despite the file Langley has on you, three inches thick, your passport was never going to be traded to the Soviets.”

She has a remarkable talent for making good news sound bad. “In other words, nobody wants me dead today,” he says. “In my book, that’s a success.”

“It’s not about whether you have enemies that want you dead,” she challenges. “In Moscow, with your mission history, that’s a given.”

“Then what is it about?”

“It’s about whether you have friends keeping you alive.”

Crack. His chair’s front legs land loud against the tile, sharp as a gunshot. Rachel doesn’t even flinch, and all it only makes him want to draw it out of her. Maybe she doesn’t know how scary he actually is. Maybe he ought to show her. “Hold your horses, here,” he says, cresting toward anger. “I don’t think I like what I’m being accused of.”

She meets him right at the edge. “I would think not,” she huffs. “Most people don’t like being accused of treason.”

He leans in, elbows poised on the table. “I don’t have friends in the Soviet Union.”

She mirrors him. “You have friends everywhere. You’re friends with everyone you meet.”

Unbelievable. “I’ve got allies and informants, but I don’t have friends. Not here.”

“My intel says you’re a top target. And all of those unsanctioned missions—”

“You’re serious?” But of course she’s serious. She’s always serious. “God, you’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Matthew.”

His name on her lips sends a burning buzz through his bones. “You’re impossible, y’know?” He jumps up, trying to shake the feeling from his body, but it’s no good. This is what people mean, when they talk about their blood boiling. “What the Hell happened to reliable and trustworthy? Remember that?”

She bolts up beside him. Maybe she’s boiling, too. “Well, what am I supposed to think?” she hollers. “Some of the CIA’s top Soviet agents are on the verge of exposure, and your name is conveniently left off the list?”

He ain’t usually the type of guy to pace, but she brings it out of him. “Let me get this straight,” he says, and his own movements get the better of him. He’s not sure how to stop it. Hands flying. Shoulders shaking. “It’s a problem when my identity is getting sold, because it suggests I’m a Soviet spy. But it’s also a problem when my identity isn’t getting sold, because it suggests I’m a Soviet spy. Is there any scenario here where I’m not accused of being a Soviet spy?”

She’s totally still. Got fists where her hands ought to be. “Where did the woman go?”

His hands, running through his hair. “What?”

Her jaw, set in place. “Don’t play the fool, Matthew. I saw her. I saw a woman with the passports, and you let her go.”

“I didn’t—Christ, I didn’t let her go. Townsend came bursting in—”

“Do not treat me like an idiot.”

“Then don’t act like one.”

This, at long last, gets something real out of her. None of that performance she puts on for the profession. Her jaw drops, and her cheeks flush, and Matt’s finally looking at the woman instead of the spy. “How dare you—you complete…you—” It can’t be the first time he’s ever heard Rachel fumble over her words, but he’s hard pressed to remember another. “Argh! You have a lot of nerve calling me an idiot when you—”

“Alright, alright.” He holds out a halting hand, drowning her voice in his own before she can say something she regrets. Lord knows it’s already too late for him, which is why he drops back down to something softer. “You’re right. That was out of line. I’m sorry. Name calling ain’t gonna get us anywhere, it’s just—I mean—” He spins on his heel until he’s firmly facing her, wringing out the heat in his veins for good. “God almighty, what are we even fighting about?”

More silence. He misses mornings in Nebraska. “I don’t know,” she admits, small and sincere. “But I think we’ve been having this same fight for years.”

It’s just another thing she’s right about. Another thing Rachel can see from her mile-high view of the world, that Matt wouldn’t stand a chance at spotting from his place down in the day-to-day dirt. “Yeah,” he realizes, thoughts stretching back to Baltimore, and a Chicago ballgame, and a bathtub in Italy. “I think so too.”

The safe house soaks up all the sound in the room, and it’s just her, waiting for him, waiting for her. This is usually the part when she tells him what’s next. When she gives him an outfit to wear, or a list to follow, or a codeword to use later on. For as long as they’ve known one another, she’s been the lady with the blueprints, telling him which ducts to crawl through and when. She’s supposed to hear all, see all, know all. But obviously there are some things not even Rachel can understand, because she asks, “So how do we stop having it?”

And in matters like these, Matt’s inclined to turn toward the experts. “Well,” he starts. “My mama always says that fights ain’t nothing but friends who can’t say what they’re really thinking.”

She nods, slowly, like maybe that sounds right after all. “Okay,” she says. “So what are you thinking?”

It’s the same thing he’s been thinking since he arrived in Moscow. Since her phone call. Since Baltimore. Now seems like as good a time as any to finally say it, because in a life led with nothing to lose, Matt’s starting to feel like he doesn’t want to lose her. “I’m thinking that I’m sorry,” he says. “For everything. For all of it. I’m sorry about how we left things after that big fight and I’m sorry you’ve always got to tell me what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m sorry for all the hollering. For all those nasty things I said. I’m sorry I can’t tell you everything. And I’m sorry I keep asking you to look the other way, because I know—I know—you can see when I’m lying through my teeth. But I hope you can also see that I’ve got a good reason for it.”

He doesn’t mean to say all that. Doesn’t even mean to say half of it. The truth of it all sends his heart racing, and the telltale taste of adrenaline sparks in his mouth. Matt’s been shot at, chased down, stalked, and beaten to bruises, but none of it holds a candle to the white hot overwhelm zinging through his every muscle in this moment.

When Rachel doesn’t answer, frosting up around her edges once more, Matt takes a crack at her before she can turn back to ice. “What are you thinking?”

The words don’t come as easy for Rachel, caught like hose water in the middle of March. “I’m scared that I was wrong about you—that I’m still wrong about you,” she starts, and it sounds like honest torture, the way she has to pull it out of herself. “I’m scared that the best double agents are the people you never suspect, and I’ve never suspected you for a second.”

This sounds like the end of it, but the momentum builds up, and she clears away whatever block keeps her words down, one second at a time. “And I’m scared that I don’t know you anymore,” she goes on. “Or that maybe I never knew you to begin with. Or that, worst of all, I’m wrong about being wrong, and you’re actually exactly as good as I think you are. That you’re kind, and smart, and humble. That in a world of liars, you’re the first one I’ve met who doesn’t find any glory in it. That in a world of men who don’t listen to me, you do. That you’re loyal, loyal, loyal all the way down. And I’m scared that I’ve gone and messed it all up and now… now you won’t even call.”

In the past five years combined, Rachel hasn’t said anywhere close to the number of kind things she’s just spit out in the past ten seconds. The whole thing leaves Matt’s head feeling a little dizzy, though he can’t name why. There’s too much to pull apart, so he starts with the last thing. The most important thing. “I’ll call,” he promises, and he reaches a hand out to her arm just to make sure it lands. “I didn’t know you wanted me to call.”

Her brown eyes strike again. This time, she’s looking up at him, and the light catches on flecks of glassy gold. “These last two years, I was scared I’d spend my whole life waiting for you to call again.”

She’s been waiting for him. “I didn’t know you cared about me that much.”

“Well,” she sniffs, “don’t you care about me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Of course you do.”

And that’s his answer. He should have known. He should have just done what Abby told him to do ages ago and manned up. Made the call. “I’ll call.” Two years. They’ve wasted two perfectly good years. “I’ll always call.”

Her breath falls. With it, her shoulders. She’s been holding that one in for a mighty long time. “I’ll be waiting.”

There’s more to say. They’ve got years to catch up on, after all, but they don’t get the chance. Just like that, a door opens and they’re all out of time.

Abe’s voice booms into the small room. “Well, the good news is, he’s not a double agent,” he says, leading Townsend out of the bedroom by the crook of his elbow. “Bad news is, he’s a bloody idiot.”

Abe shoves Townsend into one of the dining chairs with the sort of force that makes it clear Townsend won’t be getting back up without permission. This doesn’t stop Townsend from tearing his arm out of Abe’s grip, then crossing both over his chest. With a scoff and the roll of his eyes, he grumbles, “Why on earth you would think I’m a double agent, I have no idea.”

Grace struts into the room at her usual lean and limber pace. “Honestly, Townsend,” she trills. “We’re waiting for the second half of a trade, then you walk through the door. You do the maths.”

“You know me.”

“Yes, I know you,” Grace allows. “I know you to be an Oxford prick.”

This prompts another roll of Townsend’s eyes, this one even bigger than the last. The movement suits his boyish features, pairing nicely with the too-long curl of his hair and his perpetually turned up nose. Unfortunately for him, Townsend probably still has another year or two before he fully fills into himself, and his lankiness undercuts any weight he might be trying to throw around. Matt says a quick prayer of thanks for the fact that he himself is no longer in his early twenties, and never will be again.

Rachel, who has never been one to let youth stand in the way of a good lecture, locks on to Townsend like she’s got his heat signature on radar. “So,” she says, taking the seat opposite Townsend. “You’re the one who broke into the Bolshoi.”

Townsend sits up a little straighter, accepting her challenge. “And you are?”

Oh boy.

Matt’s ready to restrain her, in the event that this kid sends her teetering over the edge, but Rachel remains cool as ever. Rather than justify his question with a response, she shoots back one of her own. “What were you doing at the theatre tonight, Townsend?”

He slides his stare up to Abe, looming nearby. “I already explained that in great detail to your friends—”

“I’ll find out what you told them,” she assures him. “Right now, I’m interested to hear what you’ll tell me.”

Townsend is all huffs and puffs, with a tantrum just below a perfectly posh surface. “Fine,” he relents. “The woman you saw tonight? I’ve been tailing her for eighteen months.”

“Why?” says Rachel.

“That’s classified,” says Townsend.

For the first time all night, Rachel smiles. It’s a wry, amused sort of thing, which she immediately cuts in half. “Listen, bub, you just busted into the middle of my mission.” Townsend, who has almost definitely never been called bub once in his life, actually startles at the shift in her tone. “And because I’ve spent a lot of time planning that mission down to the minute, I can guarantee that you weren’t supposed to be there. In fact, I’d bet my salary you aren’t even supposed to be in the country, so you’ll tell me why you were tailing her, or so help me god, I will have MI6 open up an investigation on you that’ll have you sitting at a desk for so long, you’ll forget what fieldwork feels like.”

A fella’s got to admire the way Rachel can humble the Hell out of a guy, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Maybe it’s the light, but Matt swears he sees Townsend blush a little. “I have reason to believe this particular woman is working within an underground network of compromised agents.”

Freeze. Panic. Joe, Joe, Joe.

Every shred of Matt’s awareness wraps around Townsend’s voice, as though he can somehow tie it up and tug it away from the others. He runs through each word, picking out the important ones—woman, network, compromised—and hoping beyond hope he can yank them straight into the shadowed parts of his soul, where no one else can spot them for what they really are.

But before Matt is able to cut in, Townsend continues to explain. “I was attempting to corner her tonight, before she could trade the passports, but—”

“But instead you scared her off and made us look like fools in front of half the Russian government,” Abe finishes. “Job well done, mate.”

Townsend cuts Abe a look. “She’s slippery,” he defends. Then, with a renewed spark in his tone. “But she’s also desperate, and we have something she wants.”

When Townsend’s eyes fall to the messenger bag, everyone else in the room follows suit. Silently, a plan starts to form in Matt’s head, and he realizes that Townsend isn’t as inexperienced as he looks. This mission suddenly takes on a whole new meaning, slotting itself neatly into the behemoth of a mission that has run Matt and Joe’s lives for years. Moscow, in an instant, feels so much bigger.

Rachel’s laugh cuts through the thought, short and sharp. “Absolutely not,” she says, grabbing hold of the messenger bag and “These are going straight to Langley, no detours.”

“Send them back to Langley and they’ll end up right back in her hands,” Townsend argues, and Matt knows he’s right. But Matt also knows that Rachel ain’t likely to be swayed, once her mind is made up. “This is bigger than the passports. This is about a network of spies infiltrating our agencies and—”

“No detours.” There it is. Rachel’s nos are dense, immovable things and this one weighs down the room. “Especially not at the recommendation of someone I just met.”

“This is important.”

“Bring it up with your superiors, Townsend,” she says. “In the meantime, I trust Langley more than I trust you, not least because they’ve been around longer.”

“And this network has been around longer than your beloved CIA.”

“It sounds like you’re an expert. And you know exactly how to find them without our help.” She stands, slinging the strap of the messenger bag over her shoulder. “Although, next time, I recommend giving your agency a heads-up before you endanger the lives of everyone around you.”

“You have to listen to me.”

“No, you listen to me,” she says. “You’re going to spend the night here, with one of us keeping watch over you all night—because we don’t trust you—and then you’re going to get on a plane with Abe to London. After that, I’ll let MI6 decide what happens to agents who blow covers and cause potential international incidents.”

Townsend seems to shrink where he sits, and Matt recognizes the look. Months of hunting the Circle of Cavan, thrown aside in the span of a moment. It’s a special brand of fury and frustration, mixed with the sort of despair only a spy can ever truly understand. It's the sense that something is bigger than oneself. The sense that something is more urgent than anything else. And the sense that no one will ever truly understand the way you do, because nobody is allowed to know everything you know.

But Matt understands. So maybe that’s why he says, “I can take first watch.”

Betrayal crashes across Townsend’s face, with the realization that everyone else in the room is against him. Matt hates to think the kid was holding out hope.

Rachel eyes Matt, then lands back on Townsend. “Fine,” she says. “I need to get all of this hairspray out of my hair anyway. I’ll be nearby if you need anything.”

“Sure thing,” he says. Then, to Townsend. “You want some coffee?”

“Coffee,” Townsend sneers.

Matt gets to work anyway, and it has just the effect he hopes for. Rachel retreats to her room and the Baxters, uninterested in what Abe once called “Matt’s bean water” find far more entertainment in one another, and lock themselves into their government-funded honeymoon suite until further notice. It takes time, but eventually it’s just Matt and Townsend.

Matt brings a cup of hot water and a tea bag to the table, as a peace offering. “You’ll have to forgive my partner,” he says, taking a sip from his own mug. “She’s been working on this for more than half a year.”

Townsend doesn’t take the tea. Instead, he props his head into his hand, listless. “I’ve been working my op for three times that long.”

If Matt can play this right, it'll be the biggest break in the Circle mission yet. “Sounds like you really know your target.”

Townsend huffs. “Understatement of the century.”

It's almost too easy. “Do you really think she’d come for the passports, if we offered them?”

“Not a doubt in my mind," says Townsend, and the facts fall out of him easy. Matt's mama always said he just has one of those faces. "As far as I can tell, she’s about as low as it gets on the totem pole, and she’ll do whatever she can to crawl her way up the ranks. Suppose it is a bit of a long shot though. I don’t know how to reach her.”

Joe, Joe, Joe. “What if I told you," says Matt, "I could deliver a message to her.”

Townsend smiles, his hope in Matt apparently restored as he drops the tea bag in his mug.

#full circle #HA #haha #everythings going to be FINE

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fuckmeyer · 4 months ago

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Hey bestie i hope u are doing well and are happy! I just wanted to let u know that I found your fics at the start of the summer and they were just an absolute balm to my weary little soul and I wanted to say thank you for writing them!!! I’ve been going back and re-reading my favorite bits and then of course re-reading the whole saga and do u know what??? I got to that part in the first one IN THE FIRST ONE!!! where Alice pulls the fire alarm and Bells and Edward go outside and he gives her his coat and she reaches into the pocket and feels a folded up piece of paper and BESTIE IT HIT ME LIKE BELLS’ CHEVY THAT IS THE PAPER CRANE HE STARTED CARRYING AGAIN!!!! something something Bells holding her life in her own hands without even knowing it something something Edward offering Bells the choice to be with him long before offering the choice to be with him something something it was inevitable no matter what either of them chose this was all decided long before any decisions were made UGH YOUR MIND!!!

So anyway I have very little to offer but I would like to give you my favorite head cannon (this does not need to go anywhere, its just silly) Basically in my mind Emmett likes vending machines. I mean, he’s a guy who grew up in the great depression and now has all this money, so seeing a machine that gives you food at the press of a button?? and also he’s mated to a mechanic, so like all in all he just thinks they’re awfully Neat and so like at least once a day at the high school he gets a snack out of the vending machine, and if he’s out anywhere and sees one, he’s grabbing some snacks because it’s also just a very Normal Human Thing to Do. There’s nothing he can really do with the snacks though, and Esme found out that the reason why they had an ant problem one summer was because Emmett had a stash in the back of his closet. So then he starts unwrapping them and leaving them outside the house, just to see if any animals will come closer. He and Alice do experiments to see if a Babe Ruth will be more popular than a bag of sun chips, etc. etc. And what do you know it works! Emmett essentially winds up with a small mob of raccoons he’s secretly feeding, he’s bribing Edward to not tell Esme and Carlisle, Jasper is working to see if the raccoons can be emotionally influenced to assist in the Great Prank War, Rosalie is naming some of them after famous inventors, but then they start getting into Esme’s garden and Carlisle is starting to get suspicious and like maybe one day Jasper accidentally eats Hedy Lamarr and now he knows what flamin hot cheetos taste like oopsies.

Anyway Edward’s started bringing this human girl around and Emmett can pass snacks off to her when they’re at family baseball games, or sneak them into her coat pockets for later. He’s noticed she likes the pop-tarts, and is now doing experiments to see which flavor she goes for. She’s not a raccoon army, but… there’s potential.

Hope work is ok and you are able to rest! ok gnight <3

hi bestie!!!! what a treat to get this in my box, thank you so much for writing to me!!! and thank you for taking the time to read my fics! i'm so happy you've been enjoying them so far. i LOOOVE leaving little details like that for people to find and i'm SO HAPPY YOU FOUND IT YAY!!!! SOMETHING SOMETHING BELLA HOLDING HER LIFE IN HER HANDS IS GENIUS.

also, THAT HEADCANON! i love it so much! like just that he likes vending machines alone is amazing. i would bet he loves arcades for the same reason; like, it's Machines and Games in one package??? INCREDIBLE. i love the idea that every time Emmett finds a new vending machine (like that one that makes whole-ass pizzas) he just can't help himself and Goes to Town.

BUT THEN. THE BIT ABOUT THE ANIMALS? INCREDIBLE. SHOWSTOPPING. WHAT A FUCKING MENACE. of COURSE he would use Hedy Lamarr as a tool for his Latest and Greatest Prank. of COURSE Jasper would try to influence the raccoon army's emotions. Edward is of course bribed for the right price because for all his morals he is lowkey shady and ALSO ants have been getting into Rose's wardrobe so it's kind of a bonus for him. when he sees Emmett start to feed all these snacks to Bella and experiment with Pop Tart flavors i am SURE he's giving a side-eye to Emmett so hard lmao. i love all of this so much.

BELLA ISN'T A RACCOON ARMY BUT THERE'S POTENTIAL 💘💘💘💘💘

(ok but CAN i incorporate this hc somewhere PLEASE???? if not that's ok but this is actually brilliant & would work perfect for a Bella/Emmett scene i have outlined in the next fic 👀)

p.s. thank u for the well wishes, hope you're doing well too!

#thank you for sharing holy shit what a whirlwind of a hc. i absolutely love it #emmett is a chew toy and i am a dog #honestly love incorporating yalls headcanons it is SO fun #there are 2 fan hcs in By Starlight - the second is being published this sunday!#asks #by starlight

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ashcal99 · 2 years ago

Text

Certain Things : Leah Clearwater III

Chapter Three

"Something about you, It's like an addiction, Hit me with your best shot honey, I've got no reason to doubt you, 'Cause certain things hurt, And you're my only virtue"

Summary: Conner Swan moves to Forks Washington in hopes to help his sister Bella through her breakup with Edward. In hopes to find happiness again. He finds much more.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, loss, antidepressants, general angst, slow burn, brief mentions of suicidal thoughts

Words: 5.1k

A/N: Comment if I missed any warning or anything plz thnx.

Soundtrack

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

——————

January 8th, 2006

Just under two weeks had pasted when Conner finally found the time to head out the rez and see Jacob. He had been busy the past week or so, working his new job at the diner. He had graciously excepted the waiting position offered to him, knowing that if everything went well, he may be able to move into the kitchen eventually. Friday he had gotten his first paycheck, it wasn’t much, but he was now able to pay the teen for his labor.

The small house slowly came into view as his truck rolled down the gravel road, coming to a stop next to the rusty barn that set a few hundred feet away from the house. Immediately, he spotted his sister’s old clunker of a truck, shocked to see she was here as well. He knew she had been getting out of the house more as of late, trying to appease Charlie. She had even gone out to see a movie with one of her friends just a couple days prior. Between Conner working and Bella’s winter break ending, he hadn’t seen much of the teen, but he knew for a fact that she had gone over to Jake’s the previous weekend to get her oil changed. To say he was surprised to see her here was a bit of an understatement, since he wasn’t aware that two teens really spent any time together besides the Quileutes’ visits into town to watch whatever game was on with Charlie.

Opening the truck, he plopped down to the ground, feet crunching the gravel as he stepped into the shed. “Hi…” He drifted off, looking at the two apprehensively. Looking down he saw two rusty motorbikes, Jacob working on one with a wrench while Bella sat by, keeping him engrossed in a conversation. Sending his sister a weary glance, he spoke. “What’s going on?” He asked hesitantly.

Bella sucked in a breath. “Hey, Conner.” She started, awkwardly fiddling with her fingers. “I just saved these two from the junkyard so Jake could fix them." She finished, throwing him a hesitant smile. She hoped the older sibling would handle this information well, considering the reproductions if he ever let it slip to Charlie what she was doing out here.

Conner stared at the girl incredulously. “You’re lucky I’m nice and won’t tell dad. He’d lose his shit if he found out about this.” He chastised the girl. “You know how he feels about these death traps.”

She nodded fervently. “I know, and I promise I’ll be carful. I’ll owe you big time if you keep it to yourself.” She bargained. “Besides, I’ve got a great teacher.” She said nudging the teen beside her, causing a bright blush to creep up his neck. Jacob looked down bashfully, muttering something unintelligible under his breath, continuing to tighten whatever bolt he was working on. Conner raised an eyebrow. Bella was flirting, and it kinda weirded him out. He wasn’t sure if she noticed she was doing it, but Conner quickly chose to ignore it.

The man reached into his jacket pocket, pulling a few folded bills, and reached towards Jacob, offering him the money. “Let me know if you need more for parts or anything. Charlie’s not very good with cars, so I’m honestly not too sure how much I should be paying you.” He said, dropping the money into the teens tanned palm.

“This should cover it. I think I know what part needs to be replaced, so I already pulled it from the junk yard, I’ll just need to see what else we might need before I head to the auto store.” He said, pocketing the money. “Let me just finish this one thing up, and I’ll take a look at it.” He finished, sending a grin to the man.

Conner stood, awkwardly teetering on his heels for a moment. ”Well, hope I'm not intruding, but I'm kinda stuck here until Jake fixes my truck, so..." he trailed off.

“Of course not Con. I feel like I’ve barely seen you lately, with you busy with work now.” Bella reassured, Conner sending her a smile in return.

"Yo, Jake, you in there?!" An unknown voice called, both siblings starting to gather their things to leave. They didn't want to intrude on Jacob's friendships. They would just take a walk or something to pass the time.

Jake put his hand up, stopping the two siblings ”No, it's okay." He paused shooting the two a smile. "It's-It's just my boys." He informed as two unfamiliar faces joined them in the shed.

"Hey Jake." The boy with long dark hair greeted.

"Hey guys-," Jake started, turning to the two teen boys. "This is Bella and her brother Conner." He gestured towards the siblings. "Bella, Conner, that's Quill and Embry." He introduced the new faces. Conner gave a small wave to the two.

Quill sucked in a breath, "So the bike building story's true." He said expectantly, giving Jake a small smirk.

Bella smiled. ”Oh-yeah-I taught him everything he knows." She joked back, earning a snicker from her brother.

The smirk widened across Quill's face. "What about the part where you're his girlfriend?” He asked teasingly.

Awkwardness flowed through the air as Bella stuttered out. "Uh-um, we're friends, you know?" Conner to smirked to himself. He had always found it hilarious seeing his sister so easily flustered.

Embry let out a a bark of laughter, "Hmm, burn!” He shot at Jake.

Jake stepped up, quickly trying to ease the tension from the room, shooting back, "Actually, remember, I said she's a girl and a friend." He said desperately.

Conner stood back and watched the interaction, an amused look adorning his features. The short haired teen's smirk widened as he saw his best friend trying to cover his ass. “Embry, do you remember him making that distinction?” He questioned.

"Nope!" The other quickly shot back, smirking as well.

Figuring he had endured enough embarrassment, Conner decided to stick up for Jake. "So, you guys have girlfriends. That's awesome." He stated enthusiastically, earning snickers from his sister and Jake. Jake's friends looked down in embarrassment, heat creeping onto their cheeks.

"Yeah, right," Jake paused letting out a deep laugh. "Quill's actually taking his cousin to prom." He stated, further embarrassing the boy.

"Yeah, that's still a riot." Giving a fake smile, Quill narrowed his eyes. "You want funny, Black? I'll give you funny." As the words left his mouth, he jumped forwards, taking Jake in a headlock.

Their playful fight earned them laughs from the rest in the room. "I've got five bucks on Quill." Embry said, gesturing towards the two boys.

Bella scoffed. ”You're on." She answered confidently.

“Well, I'm going to go see what Billy's up to-" Conner paused, looking over to the 'fight'. "Don't let them kill each other." He laughed, waving a goodbye to his sister before leaving the shed.

On his way over to the small house, Conner couldn't help but get caught up in the scenery. La push, though being a small dreary town, had always been absolutely beautiful to the man. He had always loved nature and going on hikes, and now that he was in the perfect environment for it, and he knew he would have to take advantage of the opportunity soon.

Shaking the thoughts away, he continued his trek towards the front door. He knocked lightly on the cracked wooden panel before entering, knowing from previous experience that they left the door unlocked for Billy’s connivence. As he walked into the living room, the man came into view. "Hey Billy! How've you been?" He greeted the man.

Billy looked away from the television towards Conner. ”I've been good, and you?” He asked politely, turning he head to send him a smile.

Conner smiled in return. “Better.” He assured. Walking to the loveseat sitting against the wall, he sat, sinking his weight into the warn cushion. “I got a waiting job at the diner in town.” He said.

Billy hummed in acknowledgment. “Yeah, Charlie told me last Sunday. He said you’re liking it so far?” He asked.

Conner nodded in agreement. “I honestly would stay doing that instead of finding a job in my field if the money justified it. I enjoy the human interaction.” He admitted. “Get’s my mind off of things.”

Billy sighed. “I know how you feel, son. It’s hard to distract yourself from the pain of loss. It’s pretty damn persistent, unfortunately.” He said solemnly.

Conner frowned. Sometimes he forgot about the accident that had left Billy unable to walk. He knew Billy had really struggled with the loss of his wife in the beginning, and he wondered if it had ever gotten easier for the man, or if he had just gotten good at hiding it. He reached his hand to the chain around his neck, seeking comfort in the coolness of the rings in his palm.

He looked towards the man, taking in the view of the wrinkles, thinking he that he looked much older than he was. He supposed pain did that to you. Behind his eyes, he saw that he was tired. Just tired from the consistent reminders of his loss, and he wondered if he himself looked similar. Conner thought he had learned to hide his pain fairly well over the past year, but maybe not. He didn’t want to imagine was his mind would be like without his antidepressants as it was already overwhelming enough. He sighed, shaking the thoughts from his head. Turning his attention to the football game playing on the television, he relaxed into the overly plush couch, letting his mind numb at the sound of cheers and whistles.

Halftime had just started as Jacob stepped back into view. "Sorry to interrupt. I just finished on your truck, Conner. You should have no problem keeping warm now.” He assured the man.

Conner smiled coming to a stand as he clapped a hand on the teen's back. "Thanks Jake.” He said. Bending over, a grabbed his jacket from the sofa, stretching the thick material over his biceps. Muttering a small “Goodbye.” To Billy, he made his was back outside.

He walked back to shed, pulling Bella into a light embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll see you at home. Dinner will be ready at six okay? I’m making lasagna and you better be there.” He said jokingly stern.

Bella gave a small laugh. “Okay. I’ll be there. Promise.” She said.

Conner turned to the two teen boys that remained. “It was nice meeting you two.” He said giving the them a polite smile.

——————

Back at the Swan residence, Conner finished up preparing their dinner, putting the glass baking dish in the oven. Stepping back, he started to clean the mess he had made. He was almost done drying the now clean dishes, when the doorbell rang. His forehead creased, wondering who it could be, knowing it wasn’t Billy or Jake, considering he had just seen the two.

Rushing to see who it was, he tossed the damp dish towel over his shoulder, unlocking the door, and swinging it open. There stood a petite girl, long brunette waves, cascading over her shoulder’s. She looked just about as confused to see him as him seeing her.

Conner raised an eyebrow. “Can I help you?” He asked curiously.

The girl blinked, looking the man up and down quickly. “Um- yeah. I’m looking for Bella Swan? I don’t have the wrong house do I?” She asked, suddenly not too sure.

Conner clicked his tongue in understanding. So she was Bella’s friend. “You must be Jessica? I’m Conner, Bella’s older brother.” He confirmed.

The teen gawked at the man, looking him up and down incredulously. “Bella didn’t tell me she had a brother.” She started, sounding a pit peeved by the fact. “She left her coat in my car on Friday when we went to the movies.” She continued holding the heap of fabric out for the man to take. He reached forwards, taking the coat from the girl, his fingers brushing hers lightly. She blushed taking a wave of hair in her figures, twisting it flirtatiously.

Something about the way she was eyeing him made Conner wildly uncomfortable. She was practically undressing him with her eyes, and he held back the urge to recoil and slam the door in her face. He figured he should try being polite, in hopes to not scare off one of Bella’s only friends in the town.

He coughed awkwardly, attempting to shake the unease in his chest. “Well…” He started , scratching the back of his neck. Jessica’s eyes flashed to his flexing bicep, practically drooling at the sight. “I’ll make sure to give it to her when she gets home.” He continued, gripping the handle of the door tighter.

The buzzer for the oven, went off in the next room. Literally saved by the bell, he sighed in relief. “It was nice to meet you Jessica, but I have to get dinner out of the oven, so if you’d please excuse me.” He said, not giving the teen a chance to reply, before shutting and locking the door in her face.

On the other side of the door, Jessica huffed. She was annoyed at Bella for withholding such important information from her. There weren’t very many attractive guys in town, especially as hot as Conner. She turned, deciding in that moment that she would start putting more effort into seeing Bella outside of school. After Friday night’s stunt, she was sure that was the last time she would go out with the girl, but now she had something to gain. Even if she had to deal with her running off and taking rides with creepy men.

——————

January 16th, 2006

Bella’s mood had improved in the week that followed. It seemed as if spending more time with Jake had started to heal the gaping hole in her heart. Unfortunately, the nightmares seemed to be relentless, as the consistently haunted the teen almost on a nightly basis.

Conner woke one particularly horrible night, to the sounds of his sister’s tormented screams reverberating across the house. He sat, rubbing the sleep form his eyes, stumbling to the teen’s room.

Bella’s screams pierced his ears as he entered the room. Reaching to quickly switch the bedside lamp on, he hurried to her side, attempting to shake her awake. Her eyes shot open, darting around the room panicked. "You're alright, Bells. You're okay." He reassured, lightly shushing her. She let out a sigh of relief, laying eyes on her brother. The nightmares were over. She was okay now. As okay as she was going to be anyway. Cold tears streamed down her face, trying to brush the wetness from her cheeks. Bella sat up, grabbing a glass of water from the side table, taking a slow sip.

Conner clutched the dream catcher hanging from the bed frame as she continued to sip at the water. "I thought this thing was starting to work," he paused, resting it back against the headboard. "...but I guess not."

Letting out a sigh, he continued. "I do know what it's like, you know. When Mia died. I had a hell of a time. Imagined doing all kinds of stupid shit, just to stop the pain.” He confessed, gripping the two rings hanging from his neck.

Bella looked away feeling a pang of guilt hearing his words. Conner let out a heavy sigh as he questioned. "Can I ask you something?" Earning a nod from the teen, he continued. "Hanging out with Jake...that seems to take your mind off of things for a bit, doesn't it?” He asked, tilting his head slightly.

Bella nodded lightly in response, waiting for him to continue. "You know, sometimes... you gotta learn to live what's good for you. You know what I mean? I think Jake's good for you Bells." He smiled sadly at the teen. Bella looked into the eyes of her brother, seeing how tired he was. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. She saw the waves of sorrow behind his big blue eyes. She hoped that he could find someone like Jake was to her. Someone to patch his holes and help him heal. Only time would tell, but until then, she would be there for him. She wouldn’t let the past repeat itself. Not again.

Clearing his throat quickly, he stood up and moved towards the door. "Okay... Go back to bed, I love you." Hearing a mumble of 'I love you too' from the girl, he made his way back to his bed, plopping down on the springy mattress. He let his head rest on the plush pillow, letting sleep engulf him once again.

——————

February 3rd, 2006

The month of January passed by in blur, Conner having picked up as many shifts as possible at the dinner. He had been working so many hours the past few weeks, he had saved enough money finally for a decent bed frame and even some new tires for his tuck. It had been pretty icy on the roads as of late, and Conner knew it was just a matter of time before the he started having issues with keeping control of the steering wheel.

It was a Friday night, and normally, he would be excited for the weekend, getting to spend time with his dad watching football games, but the Super Bowl was scheduled for that Sunday, so it meant no Friday night football. The Seahawks were set to play against the Steelers, so he had that to look forward to, but for now, he dreaded this day. Bella had asked him the week prior to join her and some friends to see a movie, and he had reluctantly agreed.

He never was a huge fan of going to the movie theater, much preferring to watch them in the comfort of his own home. However, seeing his utter lack of a social life, he had agreed to the join the group. In fact he had been looking forward to spending time with people closer to his age, even if they were a few years younger. Only later did he find out Jessica Stanley would be one of the teens tagging along. He had managed to avoid the girl since their awkward meeting the month previous, but now he had roped himself into spending a whole night with her. Backing out wasn't really an option considering that he had no valid excuse, so it was settled. It was going to be a very long night.

To add to the awkwardness, the only other people joining would be Jake and Mike. He wasn’t sure if his sister was blind or if she just chose to ignore the inevitable tension between the two, but it was painfully obvious that both boys were completely infatuated with the girl.

He had met Mike just a couple days prior when Bella had forgotten her lunch at home. He dropped off some food from the diner on his break, and had seen the love struck gaze of the boy. Bella being completely unfazed by the attention, it was clear to him that this was no new occurrence.

Bella let out an exasperated sigh as her brother pulled the truck into the small packed parking lot. Judging by the look on her face, she seemed to be dreading the night almost as much as he had been. This made him wonder why she had made the plans in the first place, figuring she most likely did it to appease Charlie. “You know, if you didn’t want to go, you could’ve just stayed home.” He muttered.

Glancing to the front doors of the theater, he spotted Jessica. Sucking in a sudden breath, he continued. “On second though, let’s go back now before they see us.” He spoke, Jake spotting the truck, sending the siblings a wave.

Bella saw this, sighing, she said. “Too late for that.”

Walking towards the ticketing booth he leaned his head down to her ear. “I didn't know Jessica would be joining us when I first agreed to go." He whispered to the teen, sending a playful glare in her direction.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. She kinda just invited herself when she found out that you were going." She spoke, a grimace grazing her features. "She tends to jump on any attractive guy she sees.” She continued.

A smirk formed on the man’s mouth, "Oh, so I'm attractive am I?" He teased, earning a light punch in the arm.

"Don't be too flattered, she's into Mike." It was her turn to smirk now.

The older let out a puff of air, rolling his eyes. "Oh god, this night is more complicated than I thought." He said. Teenagers were so complex and dramatic. What had he gotten himself in to? Bella looked over, slightly confused at her brother's last statement, silently asking him for an explanation. Conner ignored the look, not wanting to get open that can of worms at the moment.

Suddenly, Jessica popped up beside him. "Hi Conner." She chirped, a grin plastered on her face. Gently cupping her hand on his opposite shoulder and pushing her body against the man's arm, definitely more than necessary, she gave him a very uncomfortable side hug. Uncomfortable for him at least.

Conner flinched away from the contact as his left eye began to twitch in annoyance. This was going to be the longest night of his life. He muttered a 'hello' back to the teen as he awkwardly tried to escape the embrace.

Looking up, he caught a glimpse of the tall boy with long brown hair, and saw this as good of an excuse as any to quickly flee from the overbearing teen. Jacob to the rescue. He thanked god for his height as his long strides rid him of the girl, her not being able to keep up with his fast pace. He clapped his hand on the Quileute's back, silently thanking him for momentarily freeing him.

Bella caught Jake’s attention as she walked up to the two, Mike and Jessica trailing behind her. "So I guess Jess and I will go get our tickets real quick, Mike already got his." Conner sent the girl a look of pure gratitude, knowing she was trying her best to keep Jessica away from him as long as possible. He looked over to the girl, the way she fluttered her eyelashes while trying her best to make her cleavage as prominent as humanly possible making Conner sick to his stomach.

Bella set off for the ticketing booth, Jessica reluctantly following. "So, 'Face Punch' huh? You like action movies?" Conner asked, quirking an eyebrow at Mike. He definitely did not look like someone that would spend his free time watching movies like this.

The teen blinked awkwardly. "Um, not really." He answered shortly, pursing his lips.

"I heard it sucks. Bad." The youngest stated, attempting to contribute to the conversation. So his suspicions were confirmed, they were both just here for Bella.

The blonde turned to Jake. ”Hey are you even old enough to see this movie?" He asked. "I mean, you know, without, like, adult supervision?" He added accusingly.

"Right, yeah." Jacob let out an irritated puff of air. "Well Bella's buying my ticket for me." He defended.

"She's buying it, okay” Mike said shortly.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the group that wasn’t broken until Bella returned. "Angela has the stomach flu and Eric's taking care of her, so I guess it's just us.” She said trailing off awkwardly.

Mumbles traveled around the group. Conner had a strong feeling Erica felt fine. He had to give the two props for coming up with a decent excuse as to not join them.

——————

Put your gun down!

Put your gun down or I'm gonna blow your freakin' head off!

So who ever had told Jacob that Face Punch was a horrible movie was absolutely correct. The movie pretty much consisted only of yelling and gore. Conner wondered if Bella had been strategic when picking the film.

Both of You! Put both of your guns down or I'm gonna blow both of your freakin' heads off!

Yeah, Conner could confidently say that he was not a fan.

Alright, let's do this!

Gunshots echoed around the theater, the sounds emitting out of the large speakers bolted to the walls. God, this movie was terrible. Mike seemed to agree as he stumbled out of his seat and up the isle, muttering. "Okay, I think I'm gonna throw up.”

Conner felt a bit sick himself, although it wasn’t exactly caused by the movie. Gore had never really bothered him at all. No. What was currently making his stomach turn was the teenage girl clutching to his arm with her head snuggled against him.

While Conner didn't want to be a dick and tell her to fuck off, but the subtle hints he had been dropping all night didn't seem to be helping him in the slightest. The girl didn't even seem fazed by his attempts at all.

He thanked whatever higher power there was in the universe when he saw Bella and Jacob stand to follow after Mike. Finally he had an excuse to leave the tight grip of his sister's friend. Once again, Conner widened his strides in attempt to lose the teen for at least a moment of free air.

"What a marshmallow." Jacob snickered as Conner caught up to the two teens. "You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.”He continued.

While Conner agreed, it was also painfully obvious to everyone but Bella that Jacob was trying to put himself ahead of Mike in whatever imaginary competition that they were in, his little sister being the ‘prize’.

Bella looked up at the boy.”Yeah, I'll keep my eyes open for that." Bella snickered lightly. "I feel bad. He probably has that flu that's..." She paused twisting around the corner near the stairs, her hand falling out of Jacob's grasp that Conner had just noticed. "...going around.” She finished.

"What? I can't hold your hand?” Jake asked offended.

Conner took the start of this conversation as a sign to stay out of it. He did not want to get involved in whatever boy drama Bella chose to be a part of. He sighed, as he went to lean against the wall between the bathroom and theater doors. Just as his back hit the wall, Jessica popped out of the theater door and hurried over to him.

"No of course you can." Bella reassured. Conner felt slightly bad about listening in on their conversation, but as much as he didn't want to be a part of the drama, he couldn't help but be curious of how this would pan out. "I just think it means something really different to you. So…" Bella continued.

Jake sucked in a breath. ”Okay, tell me something. You like me, right?" Conner's ears perked up. He definitely wanted to hear this answer. "And you think I'm sorta beautiful?" When the hell had Bella said that? If he wasn't listening before, he definitely was now, that was for sure. Consider his interest peaked.

"Jake, please, don't do this." She muttered. Jessica, hearing that bit of conversation between the two, slipped silently into the restroom, wispering something about freshening up to Conner.

"Why?" Jacob questioned. Conner was thinking the same thing. He knew Bella liked Jacob, he could tell. The two siblings were too close for the fact to go unnoticed by him.

Bella’s words came out in a rush. "Because you're about to ruin everything," She said, pausing for a moment."and... I need you." At this point Conner was just wondering to himself why she was making this so difficult for herself. She let out a sigh.

"Well I've got loads of time." Jake answered. "I'm not gonna give up.”

"I don't want you to." She shot back. "but, it's just because I don't want you to go anywhere." That was a load of bullshit and Conner knew it. No matter how hard she tried to convince everyone else and maybe even herself, his sister had real feelings for the younger teen and he knew it.

"It's- It's really selfish." She continued. "You know, I'm not like a car that you can fix up. I'm never gonna run right." As much as this saddened the older brother to hear her confess, he couldn't help wonder if that part was true. For her sake, he hoped not.

"It's because of him, right?" Conner could only assume that the 'him' Jacob was referring to was Edward. While Conner had only ever met the guy the one time, not really getting to speak to him at all, he knew that if he ever had the chance to see him again, he would kick his ass. He had broken his little sister's heart, and he wasn’t happy about it. "Look, I know what he did to you." Did he? "But, Bella, I would never do that. I would never hurt you. I promise. I won't let you down. You can count on me." He ended.

Mike emerged from the doorframe of the restroom. "Well..." He started awkwardly. Conner pushed himself off of the wall, deciding it was time to join the group down the hall.

"I need to go home." Jacob glared at the blonde expectantly. "I'm- I was feeling sick before the movie, okay?" Yeah sure.

Jacob's glare only intensified. "What is your problem?" Mike asked, throwing his hands in the air exasperatedly.

"Right now?" Jacob asked. "You are my problem." he stood up, answering his own question. "Felling sick?" He started again. "Maybe you should go to the hospital. Do you want me to put you in the hospital?” He threatened.

“Woah, Jake. The movie's over, calm down." Conner interjected, seeing Jake's anger.

"Jake, you're really hot." Bella said suddenly, causing both her brother and Mike to raise an eyebrow. What the fuck? "Like, you feel like you have a fever. Are you okay?" She added.

"I don't know what's happening." He said, confused momentarily. "I gotta go.” Then, before anyone knew it, he had stormed out into the parking lot.

It was uncomfortably silent for a moment, Jessica coming out of the bathroom looking, if possible, more confused than all of them, not hearing any part of the previous conversation.

"That dude is weird." Mike stated exasperatedly.

Next Chapter

#leah clearwater #leah clearwater x reader #leah clearwater x m!reader #leah clearwater smut #twilight smut #twilight #edward cullen #eventual smut #charlie swan #bella swan #slow burn #forks washington #la push #Jacob black #fic: certain things

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befenvs3000f23 · 1 year ago

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Week 6 Blog Post

There is no peculiar merit in ancient things, but there is merit in integrity, and integrity entails the keeping together of the parts of any whole, and if these parts are scattered throughout time, then the maintenance of integrity entails a knowledge, a memory, of ancient things. …. To think, feel or act as though the past is done with, is equivalent to believing that a railway station through which our train has just passed, only existed for as long as our train was in it.

(Edward Hyams, Chapter 7, The Gifts of Interpretation)

Hey everyone, the prompt this week definitely left me a bit confused compared to some of our previous weeks’ but I think after staring at and rereading it enough I’ve got enough of an understanding to unpack it.

The beginning of this quote made the most sense to me right off the bat, the fact that ancient things don’t have any inherent meaning is something I’ve thought about before. Just going and seeing something ancient, let’s say the Colosseum of Rome for example, doesn’t have any weight to it unless you understand the significance and context of the structure. Without these things it’s nothing more than a building and we still have plenty of those around today so what’s the big deal? Once you understand that the Colosseum is a structure that’s been in continual use for two thousand years by a variety of civilizations it starts to have some weight as to why it’s important. Then looking even further and understanding the sheer amount of work and will it would have taken to build such a structure gives some insight into the people that would have built it, they had the resources, opportunity and motive to build something so colossal (pun intended)!

This line of thinking helped me understand what Hyams meant with the next part of his quote, “there is merit in integrity, and integrity entails the keeping together of the parts of any whole, and if these parts are scattered throughout time, then the maintenance of integrity entails a knowledge, a memory, of ancient things”. Basically what I believe he is saying is that understanding ancient things is what gives them form, what brings them from just a “thing” into something more meaningful. I think many people inherently understand this too without realizing it. One example may be the fact that when humans discover ancient ruins we don’t (usually) dig them up, take the fancy looking things and forget about it. We infer, we theorize, we try to find meaning as to why people would have built in that location, why they bothered to build the things they did and why they didn’t build something else. Without these kinds of questions the value of the site is lost.

Another example that might be more familiar to us in this course might be old growth forests. Sure they’re old and have massive trees in them but there’s more than that. These biomes can tell us how long these environments have existed, they give us a window into the past and show us how we as humans can affect the world by showing us the contrast of relatively undisturbed environments which seem to be becoming more and more rare in the modern age. The information we gain by observing and maintaining the integrity of these sites can be invaluable in our attempts to preserve the Earth. If we take these things for granted, or as Hyams’ quote puts it, “To think, feel or act as though the past is done with, is equivalent to believing that a railway station through which our train has just passed, only existed for as long as our train was in it.” then we lose what’s truly valuable about these sights. We see this in the modern day, logging of old growth forests provides immediate material benefits but in the long run will leave us with less to look back on, less to be able to understand and learn from. Hopefully we, as a species, can continue to use this interpretation through history to make better decisions about what we do with our world.

#history #nature interpretation

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xetlynn · 1 year ago

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Twilight- The Switch of Daylight: Chapter Four, Fate

(Alice? X Reader X Jasper?)

[three] [four] [five]

The next day I wait. I wait until time passes to get to 8:30.

I actually go to school because of how long I had to wait. Bella decided to skip today.

Same with Charlie, he didn’t go into work to take care of Bella.

Angela comes up to me with a worry full expression. I smiled up at her as I was sitting at one of the lunch tables.

Obviously not eating but I’m chilling.

“I heard about what happened yesterday, are you and Bella okay?” She questions me. I shrug, taking a “breath” in.

“I’m okay, I just wasn’t feeling good yesterday. Bella on the other hand is going through something personal.” I answer her, not wanting to give out my sister’s personal information.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear.” She sits down, taking out her lunch that she packed from home.

Then Mike and Jessica sit down with us as well. “Hey, where’s Swan sister number one?” Mike asks and Jessica slaps him.

“Dude, that might be a sensitive topic.” She widens her eyes.

“It’s okay.” I laugh.

“She’s at home resting.” I tell them.

“What about the Cullen’s?” He moves on quick from topic to topic.

“They moved, a family emergency.” I purse out my lips.

“Does that mean you broke up with them?” Jessica asks me, I glance over at her and she goes to apologize. “Um I guess so.” I shrug.

“I’m so sorry.” Angela rubs my back, I arch my back away from her touch out of reflex and she takes her hand back.

“What about Bella and Edward?” Mike hesitantly comments,

“That’s none of our business.” I hum, crossing my arms on the table. “True, true.” He plays it off.

The rest of the day I got asked if everyone in my house was okay, getting questioned left to right.

It made me remember why Bella hated small towns so much. How words spread so much.

No secrecy.

Well there’s a bit of secrecy.

Once that final bell rang I rushed to my bike, I forgot my helmet and I just wanted to get home before a cop questioned me and I get in trouble for not having one.

But of course nothing goes my way anymore and I get stopped by Angela and Jessica.

“Hold up, [Name]!” Jessica waves me down and I put my kickstand back down, turning my bike off.

“Yes, ma’am?” I try my best not to roll my eyes.

“Can you let Bella know we’re sorry for whatever happened and if she want’s to talk to us let her know.” Jessica grins, I stare her down for a moment before going to respond but Angela beats me.

“You too, please if you ever need us, don’t be scared to reach out.” She tells me and I nod.

“I’ll carry on the message.” I kick up the stand and before they can say anything else I turn the bike on and rush out of the parking lot.

Speeding home.

Getting home, I rush to kick up the stand and get inside.

And if you’re wondering why I’m rushing I don’t even have an answer.

I think I’m just antsy to speak with Sam after so long. I throw my keys on the kitchen table and go to my room but my dad stops me.

“Hey, hey, what’s the rush?” He stops me, I turn around with a smile and shrug my shoulders.

“I don’t know. Just want to write an email to mom.” I tell him, which isn’t a lie. I’ve been meaning to talk to her for a while.

“Well, how was school?” He pauses the tv and I straighten up.

“Oh you know, everyone asking why cops were on the look out for us yesterday.” I snicker, he sighs.

“Yeah I figured that was going to happen but I’m sure you calmed it down for when Bella goes whenever she feels up to it.” He was indirectly thanking me, I knew it but this feels enough for now.

“How has she been by the way?” I lean on one leg, hugging myself.

“She hasn’t come down. I tried giving her food but she won’t take that either.” He huffs aggressively.

“She’ll be okay, Dad. Her first serious boyfriend dumped her in the woods. I’ll keep a watch on her too.” I try to reassure him, going over and kissing the top of his head. He pats my arm as I do so.

“Gosh you’re freezing, go try to warm up.” He laughs, shivering himself. I smile, silently agreeing with him as I go into my room, shutting the door behind me.

As I put my stuff away I notice the letter that still laid on the ground, never moving from the place it originally fell.

I rolled my eyes, still not touching it.

I go to my laptop and I bring it onto my bed. I open it up to email Renee.

“Hey, mom, I’m sure you hear about what happened with Bella and I. I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay. I’m not exactly hurt by the Cullin’s leaving. Or well I’m trying to convince myself that. Right now I just want to be there for dad and Bella. ALSO!!! I’m meeting up with Sam ULEY tonight! Not for any weird reason. Just to catch up. I’m super excited and I hope we’re able to be friends. That’s all I really got to say. I hope all is well with you. I’m sorry for probably freaking you out with yesterday. I’m going to keep a watch on Bella and make sure she’s okay:). Love, your amazing youngest daughter<3”

I reread my email over and over again before pressing the send message.

Even after I sent it I reread it.

Smiling to myself about how at 8:30 I’m going to see my childhood crush. I shake my head from the thought knowing that I shouldn’t be thinking like that. I’m 17 and he’s 19.

My birthday is in ten months, right after Bella’s. It probably doesn’t matter to him though. Not even that, I’m locked into this vampire relationship even if it’s on a short little break up right now.

I’m sure they’re not going to like it if I go for a werewolf.

Glancing at the mirror in front of me I get up. I mean we haven’t talked in awhile, except for last night I might as well dress nicer.

He came to my volleyball games last year. Something I’m extremely grateful for, not many people came to those. He wasn’t there all the time but at least he showed up a little bit.

I changed into a black long sleeve and jeans that Alice had gotten for me.

I remember when she got them. Saying I needed some that didn’t have a bunch of holes in them.

I bite my lip at the memory before moving on and going to do my hair in a nicer way.

My laptop pinged, and I automatically knew it was my mom responding.

I quickly finished with what I was doing with my hair and swiped on the little mousepad to turn it back on. Reading my mom’s message.

It read:

“Hey, peach, I did hear:( Bella has been writing me as well. I’m glad you’re okay but if you ever need to vent or just get away you know I’m always a call away to make things happen!! And ohhhhh, I remember when you were obsessed with that young man. I know you just broke up with Jasper and Alice but get your mind off things and remember to have fun, my peachy girl. Keep me posted and also updated on everything! <3, Love you crazy amazing mother!!”

I grin and read it a few more times but instead of writing back I shut the laptop.

I’ll get to it later, after the little talk I have with Sam.

Thinking about it I should go check on Bella before I leave.

I make sure I look nice after added a few jewelry’s in. Then leaving my room to go up to Bella’s.

My dad was already asleep on the couch so I was sure to be quiet and careful to not wake him up.

I get to my sister’s room and knock before entering the room. She was on her laptop and I smiled softly.

“Hey,” I come up to her bed, she doesn’t glance up at me.

“Hi.” She mumbles quietly.

“I’m going out for the night, I’ll come back with some food?” I offer.

“I’ll probably be sleeping.” She tells me.

“If you don’t eat with dad I’ll have Jessica and Mike come over here tomorrow.” I warn her, leaving the room, closing the door gently.

Going down stairs I let out a heavy huff. I still had a few hours but I want to go for a drive, maybe meet up with Angela or something.

I ended up going to Alice, Jasper and I’s meet up spot that we did in the woods when we went hunting.

I sat against a fallen tree and thought about everything that has happened.

Even thought I’m using a lot of anger to cover up the fact that I’m really hurt it doesn’t change that fact that I now feel alone.

Especially with Bella being depressed as she is. I know she can’t control it but I don’t know how I’m going to watch out for her when I could go spiraling if this feeling gets heavier.

My emotions enhanced as a vampire as well. Everything I feel ten times enhanced as it was when I was a human.

God just saying that I’m a vampire is fucking weird.

Like I should be going to a mental hospital or something.

I guess that I should get going, seeing as the sun is going down.

I leave the trail and I get to my bike. I take one last look at the trail.

Wishing that I could’ve seen my two ex lovers there saying goodbye to me.

Knowing that I’m not going to get it I started my bike and sped off.

Entering the reservation I felt a different kind of environment.

I feel like I shouldn’t be here.

No matter how many times I was told I was welcomed to come.

Billy even saying I could even thought I guess my species is against theirs and their myths.

That really aren’t myths like I thought.

Going to the regular area that I’ve gone to growing up I wait for Sam to show up.

Leaning on the side of my bike. I checked the time on my watch, it says 8:34.

“[Name]! Sorry, I had to do something for Billy.” Sam calls, jogging up to me. I turn to see him, he actually has a shirt on this time.

“Hey, you’re good, don’t worry.” I wave it off, getting up from my bike and placing my helmet down.

“I wouldn’t have thought that you needed that anymore.” He points down to it.

“Well my dad doesn’t know so I kinda still have to pretend I’m human.” I pretend to take a deep breath in. He makes a face but lets out a laugh still.

“Right.” He glances around.

“Want to go someplace else?” He asks, I then notice some people staring as they walk past and I tense up.

“That sounds good.” I follow him once he starts walking. We go into the woods and as I want to question him the trees open up to the beach.

The sound of the waves hitting the sand becoming louder.

“I wanted to be able to talk without anyone hearing. Not everyone on the rez knows about this stuff.” He informs me and I let out a small “oh” in response.

I then look over his shoulder to see a fire already burning along with logs on the sand for little benches.

“This is what you had to do for Billy?” I tease him, he scoffs out a chuckle.

“You caught me.” We both sit down and I look around us, observing everything.

“I hate to start this so soon, but what turned you?” I already open my mouth, maybe I shouldn’t have has his face shows a little grimace to the question.

“Sorry, I just don’t understand anything anymore.” I run a hand through my hair, before crossing my arms in front of me, desperate for warmth that I don’t receive anymore.

Even with the fire my skin stays cold.

“It’s okay, it’s actually in my blood. We’re guessing with the Cullin’s here it turned us. Since there’s been years without vampires around there hasn’t been any wolves transforming either.” He explains.

I don’t say anything, staying quiet to listen to him.

“We were hoping they’d leave soon, but since you’re still here more are transforming.” He tells me truthfully, he doesn’t look me in the eyes when he speaks.

“Billy is hoping Jacob isn’t next, not wanting him to be apart of a mess he doesn’t need to deal with.” He adds.

I think back to little Jake, he should never have to deal with anything we do.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper, even over the sound of the waves and the fire crackling he heard me.

“You didn’t choose this.” He states.

“I didn’t but I should’ve left.” I stare at the fire. It was big, not even faltering.

“Charlie wouldn’t have been okay if you left.” Sam disagrees with me, “doesn’t matter, I’m still a danger.” I hum softly.

“You’re still [Name].” He stands up and I raise a brow.

“I don’t feel like her anymore.” I stay sitting, watching him come over to me and join me on the same log.

“I’m sure it takes time getting used to everything you have to.” He touches me arm, this time he doesn’t jolt to the cold feeling.

He’s warm, extremely warm. I enjoy it.

“How long did it take you, being a wolf and all?”

“I never did. I don’t know when I will I just know that it’s something apart of me that I can’t get rid of until I want to grow old.”

“Until you want to grow old?” I tilt my head, confused.

“Basically I can choose to not transform. I can just not do it and then it gets my body back on track to being a normal human. But if I choose to do that, I can’t transform ever again and I grow old and die.” He tells me, and I feel a pang of jealousy rise inside me. I wish I could just choose to be human again.

“Ah, if I want to die I have to have another vampire do it. Or just have someone or something decapitate me.” I joke, more to myself since it’s so morbid. “Oh, wow.” He comments.

“I know, so awesome.” I sarcastically say.

“Can I ask how’d you turn? Did the Cullin’s do it to you?” He changes the subject.

“Not exactly. It was this vampire James. I guess I’ve lived six other lives. I don’t know why. But if I turned into a vampire and I die, I’ll never live another life. James did it to me so I don’t come back. He wanted to turn me and then kill me and then I’m gone forever.” I let out a shaky breath. Thinking about how complicated it is it refreshes memories that I don’t want.

“Wait, multiple lives? Like reincarnation?” His hand finally leaves my arm and the coldness is back.

“Um, yeah.” I nod my head, confused on why it shocks him.

“Remember when Billy used to tell stories around the fire as kids?” He scoots away from me and turns me to look at him.

“Yeah, of course.” I furrow my eyebrows not understanding what he’s getting at.

“Billy used to talk about reincarnations. About how there’s only a few people that exist in the world that incarnate to be the same person with the same name and same looks. It’s a supernatural thing just like wolves and vampires.” He tries to remind me of the tale but for some reason it’s not clicking.

“It’s a type of goddess or god thing. I’m not saying you’re a goddess but it stems from it. Your soul won’t leave this earth until you become immortal.” He’s even thinking back to all the stories and still it’s not clicking in my head.

Even though I wish I could remember, Billy always had stories to tell from when we were kids and this one I don’t think was told very much.

“So basically I’ve done what my soul wanted? Do I not have a soul anymore?” I’m still confused.

“You do, but this version of you is what your soul has fought for. This was your fate.”

I shake my head.

“I don’t want this to be my fate.” I tell him.

“Fate is already written in the stars, I don’t think you ever had a choice.” He frowns.

This might be a long series only because of this movie right hereeee. New moon is gonna show a lotttttt.

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