#Hetalia HC

[hwsing]

nsfw alphabet for germany and/or prussia? thank you!!!!

germany nsfw alphabet

notes: 18+, reader is gender neutral and i don’t think genitalia is really mentioned. includes: germany (ludwig). as always, reblogs are appreciated!

cws: mostly top + dom! ludwig; cockwarming, power dynamics, restraints/bondage, piss kink, pet play, size difference, toys, overstim + edging, pet play. let me know if i forgot any through replies, anon or PMs. wc: about 2k words. not really proof read.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

king of overthinking so trust that he’s likely to go above and beyond, especially at first. it’s also partially because he’s pretty deep in kink culture, but not quite porn dead brained; instead, he’s like… really conscious of being mindful. he’s not really the type for pillow talk and he can get pretty flustered after sex, so he’s gonna busy himself with getting you what you need.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

for him, it’s probably his overall physique since we all know this madlad works out like the world is about to request him to singlehandedly carry it on his shoulders. as much as he can be self critical, he’s pretty proud of himself!! he likes the confidence he can have in his strength and health and all that good stuff.

on his partner’s, he’d probably say something like their smile in an almost bashful way, but in reality it’s going to be their chest/hips/thighs/butt; whichever catches his attention the most, really. he just feels a bit bad that he’s that perverted, but you’ll know by how much he pays attention to that spot. i think he’s a boob guy (regardless of size/gender) though

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

ludwig is nasty in a way that should be studied. for someone who is so neat, he is very messy with cum — *both* yours and his. the type to kiss you after you swallow his cum, to stuff his fingers into whatever hole he creamed into to ensure it doesn’t leak, make you suck his fingers after getting you off with his hand. he likes to cum in you, but he does like how demeaning it is to cum on your body

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

what isn’t a dirty secret of his would be easier to answer… everything is a dirty secret to him. he’s a private person, okay! god forbid you somehow find his private tab. regardless of if you’ve been dating for years or a short time, he’s so embarrassed that he’ll go red.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s not super experienced because 1. he has little to no game, ESPECIALLY with feminine presenting people and 2. he’s always been pretty busy. by modern day and age he’s by no means a virgin, though. he’s gotten around enough — but he still is pretty awkward and tense at first. knows what he’s doing, but can find it hard to actually go through with it is all. give him a second to hype himself up!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

anon stop it you’re embarrassing him with these questions :( LOL no but he’s pretty versatile, probably likes positions you’ve never even heard of but … maybe the seashell is his favourite. overall, likes positions where he can more or less go to town and put some weight on you, because even when bondage isn’t involved he’s inclined to pin you down.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

please do not make a joke while his dick and balls are out they’ll literally shiver up inside him and never come out again

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

when he has a partner he’s extremely well groomed. shaves by default but if his partner makes it known they like some bush he’ll grow some out

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

intimacy is something ludwig struggles with a bit. he worries he’s too awkward and just butchers it, completely ruining the mood; still, he definitely tries, especially when things are still just starting. he’s not very smooth with sweet words, and he knows he isn’t either. so, this intimacy is going to come from what he’s doing — the way his strong hands carefully hold you, how his lips kiss up your leg while he undresses you, the feeling of him holding your hands tightly while fucking you.

he does find cockwarming to be extremely intimate. ludwig does like it quite a bit; he’s not easily overstimulated either so he can handle it for a good period of time as well. he likes to big spoon for peak intimacy… holding you makes his heart almost give out

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

this isn’t terribly uncommon for ludwig. his sex drive is high, and he doesn’t get game often. he will use his own imagination, but only under the condition that something is inspiring him; for example, his crush or partner. otherwise, he has plenty of porn saved.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

we would be here all day if i said all of them. so lets just unpack a few

power dynamics: he kind of needs a sub/dom dynamic in the bedroom. he greatly prefers being the dom, but he can find it a bit hard to bring himself to actually act on his desires. and so, he really, really likes when you play up the submissive thing; the more pathetic you are, the more he’s gonna feel the urge to make you a mess. his mess though! he’s likely to manhandle you since he’s… probably stronger than you.

restraints: he’s not super picky with this one because as long as you’re at his mercy he’s satisfied but, he REALLY likes bondage benches. loves them actually. be warned because he’s gonna go to pound town with this one

piss kink: very into humiliation and he’s not above purposely making you piss yourself. the more embarrassed you are, the better, really; he’d entertain the idea of pissing on or in you as a punishment. would understand if you are not into this though because he is self aware enough to know it’s nasty

pet play: feel like this one is a given but anyways, he does like the kitty thing but he especially likes the puppy side so he can train and discipline you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

anywhere around his or your house/apartment. “risky” sex would spike his anxiety in ways that should not be apart his foreplay… overall prefers a bed but he’s not above fucking you bent over the counter or smushed up against the wallz

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

unfortunately for him, just about anything. he’s horribly down bad. the lingering scent of your perfume/cologne/etc after you leave is enough for him to get him stiff.

i would say his biggest turn on’s though are; times when your size difference (if there is one) is prominent, when you’re struggling physically with something (the small groans/moans/whimpers… his mind travels FAST), and if you wear makeup. he likes the idea of ruining it

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

this is hard because i struggle to imagine him having a big no other than, like, surprises/not respecting boundaries and things of that nature. he’s pretty open minded because he of all people has no room to judge…!

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

here

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

prefers fast and rough for obvious reasons.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

does not like quickies. ludwig can see the appeal but… he’s only going to do it if he gets caught up in the moment enough to. not a common thing to expect from him

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

now you already know. he’s pretty open minded. the main times he’d be hesitant would be if the idea includes him bottoming or subbing, but he’s usually still down to at least try once

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he generally lasts a decent amount of time, but the first few times he sleeps with his partner he tends to take forever to cum because he gets SO nervous he cannot let himself. he prefers 2-3 rounds generally, but he does draw them out as much as he can. generally, he makes you cum at least twice before he does at all.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he’s easily one of the most into toys out of the cast in my opinion. he doesn’t like them on himself as much as he likes using them on you. he does have a handful, but will expand the collection with his own money if he discovers more online or his partner shows interest in a new one. i wrote a bit about this here

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

him being a sadist is well known i think 😭 he’s nervous to do it at first, as he is with everything, but once he feels comfortable prepare yourself because this man will not be your peace in the bedroom. whether it’s edging or overstim, making you get off on his boot or thigh, keeping you restrained with one of those fuck machines… he’s awfully creative.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

ludwig isn’t very loud and isn’t very talkative. unless he’s in enough of a headspace to degrade you anyways……. he groans quite a bit when he gets close but he’s not much of a screamer. even when he does talk during sex, it’s pretty much to the point and without many filler words. he does check in pretty often though, just to see how you’re doing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

gets a lot of dom drops/post nut clarity after particularly intense sessions but he’s very reluctant to share this. he just feels embarrassed/ashamed about reaching out for reassurance or comfort. it’s pretty easy to tell when he’s feeling like this though, he’ll be extremely quiet and have a tense look on his face while he goes extra with your aftercare while completely neglecting himself

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

now rarely do i give a man the credit of being well endowed but… i have to say that he is. i simply cannot picture him without a massive dick. i personally would guess around 8”, thick AND veiny; most certainly struggled to know what to do with it at first but he discovered the power of it soon enough!! actually kind of shy about it because he’s had a notable amount of experiences with a partner being iffy about how big he was. lmao

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

clearly pretty high. he’s also pretty well disciplined though, so it’s not enough to like.. take over his life or anything. ends up sexually frustrated often because of this… he has a poor habit of ignoring his needs

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

ludwig doesn’t usually fall asleep after sex unless it’s like just before his usual bed time. and even then, he probably will fall asleep after you since he’s busying himself with aftercare and whatnot. sleeps the best after getting to empty his balls once or twice though!

[fanficfish]

more hetalia age thoughts

so did like

how to put this

did like a first grader england, an old dying Rome, and a sick-of-this-shit China have to meet to discuss the silk road and somehow be somewhat serious about the fact there are two grown men hardened from war and raising their own kids/brothers and then this little boy who's probably looking a little beat up and kinda mad cuz he's still fighting every other decade with France but also the three of them have to somehow figure out the silk road?

[doueverwonder]

I just like to think that all of the Nordics (yes even Denmark) are introverts and they spend one (1) afternoon together and then are like

“well! That was honestly horrible toward the end my social battery is dead. I assume we’ll see each other in 29-40 business days but only after we’ve all had at least a week to prepare to see each other again”

[that-other-blob]

Hws Scandinavians: a list of alternate name ideas

Keep in mind my human au

🇳🇴Norway

Canon/fanon name: Lukas Bondevik

Name ideas: Magne, Ingvar, Yngve, Kristian, Ola/Ole, Lars, Sigurd, Lukas

Potential surnames: Amundsen, Larsen, Eide, Moen, Fossheim

Other: used to go by more traditional names before, chooses more evangelical/modern names in modern times

Fem/nyo: Sunniva, Synnøve, Nora, Ingrid, Ida, Freja, Siv

🇩🇰Denmark

Canon/fanon name: Mathias Køhler (German???)

Name ideas: Magnus, Mikkel, Anders, Søren, Christoffer, Christian, Tage, Malte, Mathias is fine

Potential surnames: Christoffersen, Rasmussen, Andersen, Nielsen, Sørensen

Other: Magnus is an older name of his, currently uses Mikkel

Fem/nyo: Mette, Maren, Monica, Margrethe, Mathilde, Louise, Idun

🇸🇪Sweden

Canon/fanon name: Berwald Oxenstierna

Name ideas: Björn (similar meaning to his canon name), Örjan, Carl, Olle

Potential surnames: Simonsson, Svensson, Bergström, Blomqvist, Eklund/-ström

Other: Björn is honestly the perfect name for him. And it’s so common he could def get away with using the same one for decades

Fem/nyo: Annika/Anniken, Agnes, Ylva

I didn’t do Finland and Iceland bc I found names using Norwegian, Swedish and Danish websites and I don’t understand the two other languages lmao

[irithnova]

I kind of joke that Mongolia likes Danmei/Chinese theatre (a major guilty pleasure of his) despite some of the very obvious anti-Northern themes but there's some historical basis to this I swear.

The Mongols loved theatre. When the Mongols came into contact with theatre it was almost like an entirely new form of entertainment was opened up to them. Yes, the Mongols had storytelling and songs and whatnot, however full on theatre was something different.

Sechin Jagachid and Paul Hyde, experts on Mongol history, wrote about how there is "no evidence... of dramatic production bring presented in Mongol society prior to or during the early Empire period." Their further comment explains quite simply why this was. - that it is difficult to say the least to attempt a stage play when you are nomadic.

The Mongols were so fond of theatre that in 1214-16, Muqali, one of Genghis's generals, was conquering the area of what when then become Manchuria, and two towns managed to hold out against them. As expected - a majority of the population were killed, with the exception of people who could be useful to the Mongols (the Mongols often spared useful people) such as craftsmen, artisans, and even actors.

So theatre must have been introduced to the Mongols prior to this date because why on earth would they spare the actors of all people alongside engineers and craftsmen?

John Man, a British historian with Mongol history as one of his specialities, imagines such a scene where this introduction could have occurred a few years prior to 1214, in 1211, when the Mongols first invaded Northern China. Perhaps there was a town that had the sense to surrender to the Mongols, and the Mongols, wanting some relief from being on campaign for so long, demands that they entertain them.

The villagers, desperate to please the invaders, puts on a show, curtains fluttering open and candles illuminating the scene - and almost immediately the battle-worn army is enchanted. The show they put on is the most famous theatre play in China during this time, one of a young woman - Zhaoqun, is sent to be married off to a Khan of the Xiongnu, and mourns for her freedom.

Despite the Xiongnu being portrayed as the villains, the Mongols are smitten by the storyline and root for the girl, and the Mongol fascination of theatre is born.

Though this is a scenario that John Man imagines may have likely happened because of the fact that the Mongols went around sparing actors a few years later (so they must have been exposed to theatre somehow to enjoy it enough to spare actors), it's my headcanon something like this definitely happened and Mongolia was gripped almost immediately despite the obvious portrayal of the Xiongnu (who he considers an ancestor) as the villain. It was entertaining and that's all the mattered.

It was the Mongol demand for threatre that surged a boom in Chinese drama - Khublai as a patron of the arts made sure his people were entertained. There were two bureauxs in the Mongol court - one for music and acting, the other responsible for staging court rituals and plays.

In fact, the Yuan era is considered "one of the most brilliant genres in Chinese literary history" according to Chung-Wen Shih, a historian of Chinese drama. Pre-Yuan, not a lot of theatre plays were preserved, because simply put they weren't considered literature and actors and actresses weren't particularly held in high regard.

On Mongolia liking Chinese theatre despite the anti-Northern sentiment - Mongolia was definitely aware of the themes in some of the stage plays and even Yuan stage plays managed to subtly shade the Mongols despite the Mongols being their overlords.

One of the most famous Yuan playwrights (Guan Hanqing) best plays, named "The injustice to Dou E" centres around Dou E, a village girl who, funnily enough, faces a number of injustices. In the end, heaven hears her prayers, and her wishes against those who have harmed her are fulfilled when she is finally executed.

This wasn't just a play about a heroine figure - this was a metaphor for the Mongols abuse of China, and the injustices China faced because of the Mongols. When Dou E is abused like how the Mongols abuse China, heaven is sent into chaos and the corrupt rule. When she finally dies, heaven delivers justice. Poetic when you think about it as the Mongols were finally expelled from China in 1368 and in turn, lost the mandate of heaven.

I think Mongolia did pick up on the shade that was snuck into these stage plays - but again, he really didn't care because of how entertaining he found them. Unfortunately this bad habit of enjoying stage plays that depicts him as the villain has lead to him in the modern day to enjoying TV shows and danmei and what not that does the same - so he uh. Tries to keep this guilty pleasure of his under wraps but people know about it at this point lol. It's not like he purposefully goes for plays and shows that do that (I mean, I sure hope not) but he's not exactly boycotting the ones that do - and there's an awful lot of them that do lol.

China probably wanted Mongolia to pick up on the shade that was being thrown at him in some of these plays or to be straight up offended at some of them. Imagine his deep annoyance when he'd find the brat chortling at the play rather than being outraged at the attempt at offense.

To think this all started when he watched that (1) play all those years ago...

Also fun fact: The Mongols love for theatre was so prolific that when the Chinese finally booted them out, the newly established Ming Dynasty actually temporarily banned theatre in their attempts at wiping out Mongol influence in China.

So yes. Mongolia still loves Chinese theatre - and yes - it's a major guilty pleasure of his. It's definitely something China brings up when they argue lol.

TL;DR, Mongolia is a loser

[vimishu]

So, I've got this idea of a scar for Ludwig and I've been reading a little about the places that got most destroyed by many conflicts and it all took me to the south-east part of Germany...

I love scars and I'm keeping this design hehe

🥺💝

[shamangus]

Head canon Time:

Sealand reminds England of himself, when he was a kid.

And mostly because of this image.

See how similar they look!!!

While England was a lot more feral as a child than Peter because of the situation, I do think in personality they were pretty similar.

Screw America, Canada, Australia or New Zealand being similar to England. It's Sealand's turn.

On that note, if Sealand grew up his personality would not be similar to Adult England.

England had a very lonely childhood, in the days before England united he was very separated from his siblings but Sealand has a support system.

He has the other micronations, he has Sweden and the other Nordics now. Unlike England, he has a family.

And that's why as an adult he'll kind of be like a nicer England, at least in my headcanon

[samrut]

The Hetalians are definitely microchipped. I bet some of them have to take daily medication to lessen their 'super abilities' too.

[hwsing]

hi hi hi! i’d love to request america for the nsfw alphabet (if you want to!!!) please and thank you!

america nsfw alphabet

notes: 18+, reader is gender neutral and includes both bottom and top reader. includes: america (alfred f. jones). as always, reblogs are appreciated!

cws: me yapping as always; alfred is a bit weird but nice, creampies, roleplay, vibrators, switch! alfred. wc: about 1.7k words. not really proof read.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

generally speaking — alfred is a wee bit dense, and so i dont think he’s the type to go above and beyond everytime, especially at first; unless you give him some specifics to work with, he’s going to provide some stuff like water food etc a shower if you want, cuddles, just general decompressing. he’ll usually ask how you��re doing as a check in, but he’s not overly inclined to pressing if you don’t say you need something hdhddh. whatever you want is yours though!! he is a sweetie deep down and is Very prone to being. ahem. whipped

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on himself…. the general shoulder/arm region. i dont think hes particularly buff bc i dont think hes even remotely consistent with exercise but, yk those guys that like. hit the gym for six weeks and suddenly are almost ripped? he’s like that,,, just his genetics so no matter what he looks a lil beefy, esp with how much he eats. he likes how big/strong he looks

on his partner, it’s cheesy, but he’d *always* say eyes or your smile. your eyes preferably when you’re smiling, really! even if it’s from you scoffing at something stupid hes doing. what can i say he got the hopeless romantic trait from arthur

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i Must be honest. his cum does not taste particularly good. and he cums A LOT like … i think he’s quite into creampies because he really does have the necessities to make it happen. his favourite places to cum: your mouth/face, makes him flustered to see you have to lick it off

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

this was hard because i don’t think he keeps many secrets about this, and he isn’t overly kinky to begin with. i would say that maybe he can be a bit of a creep? he’s just very enamoured by his partner and fantasies a lot, which leads to him mentally sexualizing his partner. you can argue that’s just being horny, but he feels creepy whenever he realizes he’s staring at your ass or down your shirt.

by extension, he doesn’t usually have the balls to steal your underwear but if your laundry is out in the open in any way and you aren’t in the room…………….. you cannot blame him for touching them and taking a sniff okay?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

in our day and age? definitely a good amount of experience. i dont think he’s quite as experienced as he may seem, which embarrasses him on the low but he compensates with his outrageous confidence anyways. by no means close to a virgin though. he still gets around

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

okay so he might say reverse cowgirl but in reality it’s missionary doesnt matter if he’s top or bottom. he just thinks its a lame answer. side note, he loves to hold hands during missionary.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

YOU ALREADY KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW.. he can be more serious (especially if roleplay is involved, he gets oddly invested…) but for the most part he really really really just wants you n him to have a good time so he’ll put a lot of pressure on himself to be entertaining

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he trims and washes well but basically never shaves down there. he will if you ask but he just prefers to keep it trimmed and let it be for the most part. isn’t insanely hairy anyways though

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

alfred values the intimacy of sex quite a bit to be honest. he may not showcase this if you two aren’t close yet, but if you are, it’s so obvious how much he loves you. he’ll say it a lot too when you two are at that level — he borderline worships you in the bedroom honestly. he’s just kinda obsessed and cherishes the relationship he has with you DEEPLY

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

i really do believe he had a small addiction at one point. not much to say about that so let’s move on… back in prime playboy days he absolutely read them and other lewd magazines; nowadays, he’s actually a bit more imaginative because i think in recent years he’d pick up the belief that most visual porn on like pornhub and sites of that nature tend to be exploitative. so, he tends to break out some music and get it done. he usually doesn’t get particularly horny unless prompted, so, he can find something to think of with ease.

kind of sucks at masturbating though. he’s horrible at pacing himself, and ends up edging himself accidentally a few times because he gets too close too soon and he has to back off immediately. his poor dick is not cared for well…

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

i’ve already talked about some obvious ones throughout this alphabet, but another that randomly comes to mind is roleplay. he can feel a bit cringe about it but if he’s in the headspace he can get SO into it. obviously hero roleplay where you should reward him for saving you from the bad guy; he’d humbly dismiss the idea like a good hero, but he’s certainly not complaining when you tug down his pants and suck the life out of him in thanks!!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

house/apartment, doesn’t matter where too much but in the privacy of your own space is what he prefers. would question god what he did to deserve it if he EVER got caught with his pants down so he’d just… prefer to keep it safe

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

so easily turned on it’s not even funny. i don’t think his sex drive is super high and sometimes it can feel a bit random — he’s just. So attracted to his partner. he’s losing the idgaf war every. single. day.

there’s the obvious — you bend over to pick something up, your lounge clothes are revealing, you eat something creamy; but, sometimes, it’s just your smile or you fixing up your clothes after they shift. it just gets him thinking…. unholy things….. he wishes he wasn’t so easy but, if you like to initiate, it’s very rare that it doesn’t immediately get him in the mood.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

not really an orgy kinda guy

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

https://www.tumblr.com/hwsing/716154815799066624/giving-head

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends a lot of his partner’s preferences to be honest, but generally, middle ground of rough/slow and deep. he’ll speed up and get messy as he gets close when he tops. if he’s bottoming, he prefers slow and gentle or mind numbingly rough and fast depending on the kinda day he had. sex in general can be a productive way for him to burn off stress!!

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not a quickie lover but is a quickie truther. sometimes they’re just what’s most convenient, especially during busy times of the year for him when he’s trapped working. you’ll *know* how much he misses you, though, with the needy texts you’ll receive.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

not as much as you’d probably expect but he’s still quite experimental! he can just feel a bit embarrassed/shy experiencing or doing something new in front of someone, especially if you already are knowledgeable/have done said thing, but he’ll put on his big boy pants and manage.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

as long as you need, and after. doesn’t last all that long himself unless he tries really hard to pace himself, but his recovery time is terrifying.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i have a hard time imagining he owns one himself, but he’s most certainly down to incorporate them, whether he has to buy them or you already own them. i think he’s particularly fond of vibrators (simple but he quite likes what he can turn you into with them!) and butt plugs

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

over all, i dont think i’d consider him a particularly big tease. he has his moments, but i think it’s more likely *you’re* the one teasing him, even if you don’t mean to be. his teasing would usually come from you being flustered or easily aroused, because not only is it cute to him, but a massive ego boost to him. win win!

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

so sorry if you have a roommate and you guys do it at your place because boy is he ever LOUD he triessss not to sort of not really but he really cannot help it. will not and cannot stop yapping, let alone the *sounds* he makes — so much moaning and groaning and blah blah.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

has sneezed when he was yanking it and it was the most uncomfortable orgasm he can ever imagine

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

a shower, 7” long 6” girth he’s thicc, notably veiny but nothing overpowering. slightly curved. safe to say he’s quite satisfied with his package.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

not particularly high. he usually needs a reason to be turned on — however, once he has a partner, suddenly a reason is often presenting itself…..

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

usually won’t fall asleep fast unless it’s past his bedtime already. just doesn’t tire very easily.

[fanficfish]

explaining characters in hetalia badly: family member archtype edition

an incomplete list for funsies

just imagine they're all at a big family reunion lol

Germany: The closeted cousin who still hasn't figured it out.

Prussia: The cool older cousin who's jacked up on the remnants of the energy drinks he chugged during finals week trying to study for his med school exams. Probably specialized in kids medicine, but he's too jittery to confirm.

Italy V: The cousin who's a cousin because someone married someone a couple months ago and has no idea about all the ettiquette rules ye and what not to discuss in front of Great Aunt Sarah.

China: Great Aunt Sarah

Italy R: The cousin who's just hit his highschool years, and has decided MHA and Valorant is his whole personality.

England: The one manning the grill.

France: The one actually manning the grill.

America: The guy who's young enough to be your older brother but old enough that he's a dad. Don't worry, he's cool- he won't make you babysit, but he's gonna show up with those kids in biker jackets and they'll do a fun dance to entertain everyone halfway through dinner.

Russia: The uncle that apparently is a war vet. Definitely saw things he shouldn't have seen and you don't leave your kids with him. Tells the wildest stories over dinner though.

Canada: The cousin who you forget exists because he's actually normal. Actuality has probably spiked something.

Japan: The one hiding in a room playing video games. He might share if you ask nicely.

Lithuania: Someone's spouse. Not sure whose, but he made a nice caserole.

Sweden: That one distant relative who you almost forgot to invite.

Finland: The guy who showed up and you're not sure where he came from, but he's kinda fun so no one questions it.

Norway: The one who was forced to tag along with the rest of the family.

Iceland: The one who pretends he doesn't want to be there but he'd show up even if he wasn't invited because the food is kinda good.

Denmark: The one bringing the alcohol and manning the bar you didn't kow you had.

Latvia: The one trying to sneak underage drinks.

Estonia: The one pretending to be a normal person with his "honor student" and "full ride scholarship next year" but is secretly helping Latvia sneak a drink.

Spain: The uncle who's been married ten times.

Switzerland: The one who only showed up because he was begged to. Either ends up in the corner watching the game or in the middle of the table retelling some grand tale.

Liechtenstein: The one bringing all the delicious deserts and a fruit tray and forced Switzerland to socialize.

Austria: The one insisting on putting on the radio the moment the "go ahead" for the food is said. Might have even called up everyone to remind them to bring their instruments.

Hungary: The one who gets everyone dancing the moment Austria whips out the fiddle tunes.

Seychelles: The one who innocently suggested a board game after the dance-off winds down.

Hong Kong: The cousin who sticks around long enough to say hello to the aunts and uncles and grandparents and get some food before hiding in the room with Japan.

Belarus: The cousin who's a movie-cutter highschool "popular girl" and spends the whole time on her phone texting her boyfriend.

Ukraine: The aunt that break up the board game fights and bans it from future events.

Luxenberg: You don't know what he does for a living, but he brings cool stuff for everyone.

Netherlands: The globetrotting uncle who you're pretty sure knows everyone and everything.

Belgium: The cool aunt who's single and living life.

Phillipines and Thailand: The fresh-out-of-collegers cousin who keeps taking photos of everything.

Malaysia: The fresh-out-of-colleger cousin also taking photos but only aesthetic ones.

Taiwan: The aunt that starts making smoothies unprompted.

Monaco: The cousin who brings a book to read in the corenr.

Cameron: The uncle you don't want to get into an argument about sports with. Switzerland does not head this warning.

Greece: The uncle who drove all day and night to get here with a full car, and is now knocked out on the couch.

Turkey: The funny wine grandpa.

Cyprus: The college dropout who now works at a seven-eleven.

Egypt: The cousin who's studying history and is pretty average except you have photographic evidence that he sat next to a pond and talked to ducks for half an hour and was very serious about it.

[doueverwonder]

Things I Want From A Normal Hetalia Beach Episode

All of Northern Europe either needs to be sunburnt within five minutes, like lobsters. OR covered in comedic amounts of sunscreen.

On the other end of the spectrum for Europe all of the Mediterranean are perfectly tan in like five minutes. Witchcraft.

Australia and America get to be surfer boy stereotypes for the whole episode, as a treat.

Japan would probably show up in regular clothes (like shorts and a t-shirt) and sit under an umbrella with a book until he gets picked up and thrown in the water.

He loses a shoe and his glasses :(

some landlocked country ignores the "Riptide warning" flag and promptly almost drowns. idiot.

At the end of the episode they're packing up and someone just is like "Hey were is so-and-so?" and they're a speck in the water flailing; no one notices them.

(I think it'd be funny if it was Switzerland but idk)

Remember that time in canon when Canada got high and declared himself King of the Banana Boat? That happens.

Volleyball Tournament. They play all day legit team elimination the final game almost starts another world war.

Some nations show up with the whole nine yards and others are like "I brought my swimsuit and this almost empty tube of sunscreen"

I will take votes on who is the first to get drunk and try skinny dipping in the ocean

Feel free to add to this, this was just the stuff I could think of

(Grandpa Rome does still show up, Austria does still play the piano on the beach I don't make the rules man :\)

[elyxianbxlved]

Honestly? Listen to me here

England has all sorts of protective sigils tattooed on him, and maybe something on the palms of his hands to help him do magic wherever he is, without all his equipment. Also he has a pentagram specifically on the back of his shoulder, idc which one just one of them.

[irithnova]

Inner mongolia headcanons? :3

He seems somewhat spacey if that's the right word? Like his mind is often thinking about something else

Also I think his name would be Batbold 🐱 I think Baatar (Mongolia) and Batbold (Inner Mongolia) sound cute together LZKQAK

Because many different ethnic groups live within him (I mean, he's straight up outnumbered by Han Chinese), he is more sensitive of other people's cultural norms to say the least compared to his brother in the North. Also has a better alarm for what not to say out loud

Wears his hair in two braids, has a bit of facial hair. I'd like to think he's around the same height as Mongolia, if not slightly shorter?

He tolerates Manchuria better than Mongolia does seeing as they live so close together and there are many Manchurians living in Inner Mongolia. What would really annoy Mongolia would probably only illicit a sigh from him.

On Manchuria again: They sort of have a weird relationship. For Mongolia, it's easy for him to dislike Manchuria or to be easily annoyed by Manchuria. But for Inner Mongolia, because both of them live under China , he came to the conclusion that there's really no point spending time on being angry at him all the time when they're kinda in the same boat now.

That doesn't mean that he doesn't get passive aggressive or annoyed towards Manchuria at times or has completely let go of his feelings towards what happened but Manchuria isn't exactly a threat to him anymore and if anything, is in a worse position than he is, so.

So yes. That combined with the Manchurian population in Inner Mongolia means that inner Mongolia does in fact invite him over for celebrations and trips and whatnot (Northerner solidarity finally real?).

Even if this annoys Mongolia when he comes over and visits. He finds it kind of funny anyways

Touching back on a previous point: I see inner Mongolia being a brother to Mongolia rather than being his like, child or something. This is because inner Mongolia was originally Southern Mongolia and a distinction between Northern and Southern Mongolia was only really prevalent during I guess the late 16th century or even mid during Ligdan Khan's reign?

Inner Mongolia (previously Southern Mongolia) was colonised by the Qing (Manchuria 🐱) in 1636 and Outer Mongolia (Mongolia) joined a few decades later in 1691

Between Northern and Southern/Inner Mongolia, there were some differences in the ruling families and Mongolic peoples populating each. This is kind of complicated but outer Mongolia (iirc) consisted of mainly Khalkha, Buryat, Uriankhai (umbrella term for the likes of Tuvans) groups and Inner Mongolia also had Khalkha and also Tumet and Chahar Mongol groups. There are a number of other Tumens/factions that are a part of this shitshow but I'm simplifying it for now

Despite these differences, this did not make Northern and Southern Mongolia two different entities. At least for a while

These groups, such as the Khalkha and Chahar, were Chinggisid (Genghisid), so of/loyal to the Chinggisid royal bloodline. It was under Dayan Khan that these groups were reunited after defeating the Oirats, and it was established that they were a Chinggisid people once more.

It was a strict rule in Mongolia that only those of the Chinggisid line could be Khan. Side note: the rule of Chinggisid leaders only being legitimate was so widespread throughout Central Asia which is why Timur of the Timurid Empire wanted to prove that he was Chinggisid so much, and even married a woman who was a descendant of Chagatay Khan (one of his sons).

Because of this Chinggisid heritage ordeal iirc this is why the Qing carefully planned intermarriages with inner Mongolian ruling groups so they could, in some convoluted way, claim legitimacy. Inner Mongolian nobles married with Manchurian nobles pretty extensively

So yes relationship with Manchuria can be kinda weird considering this past LMAO but he tolerates him now because. Same boat™

I make his birth date being in the late-ish 16th century because there already was a difference in the kind of factions inhabiting inner and outer Mongolia but I don't want to make him be born too early as that might be seem as legitimising Qing Imperialism/ legitimising Inner Mongolia being separated from Mongolia.

As stated previously, the difference between them can be seen in Ligdan Khan's reign. The Khalkha and Oirat factions by the early/mid 17th century were already going against Ligdan's rule, and he really only had the Chahar Mongol faction on his side

Inner Mongolia was officially annexed to the Qing in 1636 after Ligdan Khan died. His son, Ejei, was the final ruler of the Northern Yuan dynasty (Mongolia - he was coping and seething with the Yuan ending so called his territory the "Northern Yuan" lol) before the Qing finally put an end to it when Ejei was defeated in a surprise attack in 1635 and subsequently handed over the Northern Yuan imperial seal to the Qing, which was the first step to legitimising their rule before the extensive intermarriage with inner Mongolian nobility.

Inner/Southern Mongolia was the first to be annexed, Northern Mongolia held on for a bit longer but ultimately fell to the Qing too.

This (1) of the many reasons why Mongolia has a huge complex about inner Mongolia and what went down because uh. It's used to justify "Inner Mongolia is the real Mongolia" rhetoric

Because of this Mongolia is extremely fussy over inner Mongolia which does kind of annoy the latter

Once inner Mongolia and the Imperial seal was taken, this meant that the still independent Mongols in the North needed to find a new authority. Thus they turned to Tibetan Buddhism and established a new spiritual leader, Jebtsundamba Khutuktu, in 1639 (mfw tibmon real because Tibet helped Mongolia regain control of himself and a will to live once inner Mongolia was taken -)

But didn't last long lol as the Qing would install their own lamas into Mongolian monasteries so.

He is pretty chill on the surface, he's not very outwardly fussy about things and is pretty easy to talk to about whatever. Doesn't really involve himself in drama and whatnot

However he does have some. Deep seated complexes and problems that he never brings to the surface and are really hard to gage.

Mongolia however uh. Can sense them. I've already talked about this hc before but I think Mongolia has problems with anything to do with understanding mental health and doesn't show empathy easily but he's very different when it comes to inner Mongolia. He catches onto when he's upset or not feeling okay and like. Shows genuine concern.

I've said previously that Inner Mongolia gets kind of annoyed with Mongolia when Mongolia becomes too fussy about him... Mfw Inner Mongolia orders takeout for them in Mandarin when Mongolia visits and he looks up and Mongolia looks like he's seen a ghost -

I think sometimes they bicker about wrestling rules LMAO. Inner Mongolian and Outer Mongolian wrestling rules slightly differ. For example, in Inner Mongolia, you're not allowed to grab your opponents legs, whereas in outer Mongolia it's completely permissible.

Inner Mongolia also rubs in how much fancier inner Mongolian wrestling outfits are compared to outer Mongolian.

Mongolia in turn makes fun of the "Jangga" tradition in Inner Mongolia. In Inner Mongolian wrestling, some wrestlers wear a colourful ribbon necklace around their neck to signify that they're a good wrestler, as its often gained through winning many matches. But you can also acquire it if a retiring wrestler just decides to give it to you, regardless of your skill.

Mongolia voice: Isn't that just cheating lol

I think he has a good relationship with Daur. Many Daur live in Inner Mongolia and I see her being quite. Cheerful? So he likes being around her. She tries to teach him hockey :3

Really likes Uyghur food. I read that inner Mongolians often go to Uyghur restaurants when they eat out and take their (Outer) Mongolian friends there.

About Mr Uyghur again: I see them having a good bond. Love for lamb and wrestling etc lol some very similar interests but also it's a minzu to minzu thing and shared experiences of living under China.

Also because of the history between Uyghurs and Mongols but when it comes to overall history in particular, Uyghur is more familiar with Mongolia because well, he was around for longer lol

His and Mongolia's relationship isn't always good and there are definitely problems. In 1919 when China attempted to occupy outer Mongolia, a lot of the troops where Chahar Mongols from inner Mongolia 🤒

I also think inner Mongolia can get quite passive aggressive towards Mongolia when he's annoyed with him. Like the whole "well we retained our culture unlike you who uses the cyrillic script now instead of the original Mongol script"

Adding onto this and harking back to some points earlier, inner Mongolia does kind of have a superiority complex towards Mongolia because of the "Inner Mongolia is the real Mongolia" fiasco and Ejei Khan giving the Imperial seal to the Qing which lead to inner Mongolia being annexed etc etc and Northern/Outer Mongolia having to find a new authority to have a stabilised sense of identity again.

Also because he's simply a lot wealthier than Mongolia and I've heard that apparently some Mongols travel to inner Mongolia for certain healthcare?

Inner Mongolia also really. Dislikes it when Mongolia puts him on a pedestal and Mongolia often finds himself bitterly disappointed when he visits inner Mongolia and he does not act like the idealised version of himself he has in head🤒

It's ok though they do still love and care about each other KXKSKS just. Family issues I guess

Positive relationship with Tibet but kinda reels at how Mongolia and Tibet act around each other LMAO.

Ending on a more positive note, I think it's funny how it's inner Mongolia who goes around with facial hair and Mongolia who decides to be clean shaven lol

Also thank yew because you helped me out with parts of this post teehee :3

[asitrita]

For whatever reason I felt like sharing some of my thoughts about spuk today.

I kind of have this hc that Arthur's a really good story teller (probably because i've grown up with tlotr, hp and arthurian legends, plus, you know, the chronicles of narnia, alice in wonderland, peter pan and a lot of fantasy literature for kids and teens), and I like to imagine that, perhaps, back in the day and before all the drama, during the Middle Ages and first decades of the Modern Era, when Spain (and the different Spanish kingdoms) and England had a rather good relationship, when visiting England for whatever diplomatic mission, Antonio would ask Arthur to tell him some stories before bedtime, or during "nap time" after lunch, while laying on a meadow under the shadow of a tree, maybe a oak or old chestnut (so romantic u.u) It is kind of canon, I believe, that Antonio was a huge fan of chivalric themes and medieval heroic epics, like most of Europe at the time, and Spain fed a lot on the chivalric poetry and romance, not only during Medieval times, but also later on. It may seem out of topic, but Spanish conquerors and explorers (which would led to the begining of the Spanish empire), for better or for worse, were greatly inspired by both, classic epic, but also chivalric novels (maybe it is not a coincidence that the literary work that universally mocked the chivalric genre ended up being a Spanish production, Don Quixote). Medieval romance poetry is also a big deal in Spanish literature and folk culture, so it is only fitting he would enjoy fantasy tales and chivalric epic, as well as romance and poetry. The two would complement each other. Arthur would enjoy making up stories, and telling old chivalric romances, adding a little bit of magical and fantastic elements to it (like the magic cauldron tell, or magical swords,and whatnot), that Antonio would very much enjoy, while Antonio would passionately deliver passages from classic works, like The Aeneid, and recite poetry, also around the themes of chivalry and romance, while playing the lute, sometimes singing, rather than merely reciting the verses.

I also have this hc about Arthur being an exceptionally good archer and timidly trying to show off so Antonio notices him. On the other hand, I think Antonio would be skilled in the art of poetry, and be good at languages in general, making him a good rhapsodist. He would also be a pretty skilful musician, and play the lute, the vihuela and be surprisingly good at playing the clavichord (not at all referencing Antonio de Cabezón here). I even imagine during the times of Catalina de Aragon as queen of England he would try to teach Arthur how to improve his fingering and playing technic.

Just a few of my silly hc.

[that-other-blob]

Addition to that last name post, with very little logical basis (I picked these names bc of the vibes™️, so if you are from these countries and have suggestions don’t be afraid to tell me!)

The Lithuanian’s name would be something like Tolvydas, Tolys for short.

Yo pls tell me if this is a good name or not, is it common/uncommon? Old fashioned?

The Pole seems like the type to go by several different names at the same time: some faves are Lukasz and Feliks.

Source: I know 5 Polish men and 4 of them are named Lukasz

The Swiss’ name is Sebastian. Basch. Bäsch??

[slut4russia]

literally Yao if he was on tiktok 😭😭😭