#Her soul has died. But if Tara lost Sam she would just lose it. Tara is so emotional. She feels things so much.

[krikeymate]

If Tara dies, Sam becomes an empty shell of a person.

If Sam dies, Tara becomes a raging inferno of pain and anger.

[laufire]

Supernatural s2

I’m halfway through s3 already (technically a rewatch, but there were episodes I didn’t watch the first time around), so this post is a little overdue lol. At this rhythim the posts will overlap. Plus I’m hoping I can finish s4-5 during the holidays to see the ~intended ending~ before I have to slow down on the binge-watch. After that, a season a month sounds achievable AND won’t take longer than 2021 xD

ANYWAY.

-Overall, I’ve enjoyed it more than the first one, but at the same time I’ve found myself missing how... claustrophobic? Insular? Compact? That one was. s2 was about the world opening up just a little bit more, introducing new characters to the brothers’ life, etc. I do love the detail that this is something that can only have, narratively speaking, once John is dead. Again: this show gets abusive families, consciously or not.

-The foreshadowing is beautifully done. 15 seasons make for a lot of unintentional and ironic foreshadowing later on, I’m sure, but the purposeful foreshadowing is superb this season. About the crossroads deals, of course, but especially about John’s last words. I already knew he’d told Dean he might have to kill Sam (father of the year, seriously. Though I side-eye the fandom even more for always having acted as if this is only awful for Dean lol), so I was hyperaware of every single detail. My favourite moment was the absolute horror of hearing Gordon proudly, cheerfully relate how he murdered his sister when she became a vampire (which, btw, as someone that’s still bitter about what went down with the Gunn siblings on Angel, I found it healing to see something like that treated as a horror story).

-Speaking of Gordon: I unashamedly love his character lmfao. Sterling K. Brown is mesmerizing, always. At the same time, I have serious mixed feelings (especially after seeing his arc in full in s3) because man, if it isn’t a racist mess. I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s not exactly revolutionary that the first time we see the story from the monster’s POV (something I want the show to do! Often!), it’s when white monsters are stalked and brutalized by our first black hunter. Especifically a white woman, btw (although I’m happy to see Tara Maclay as a brunette vampire. I didn’t know I needed that in my life, but I did). And you can tell that the show thinks it’s just so SMART and FUNNY to have a ~racist black hunter!! I mean, the comment about how psychic kids would be “betraying their race” if they allied with demons?? FFS.

And ofc there’s the fact that he’s condemned for the exact same type of stuff that makes Dean be hailed as a hero lmfao. Though I won’t like, I love the moment where, faced with the comparison, Dean’s response is “I might be like you, I might not. But you’re the one tied up.” I love those kinds of character moments. As of s2 I officially have a love-hate relationship with Dean Winchester, I hate it here xDD

But still, on his own, Gordon is an amazing character (it’s one of the most frustrating things about the show, the greatness tainted by the bigotry :))). Charismatic, terrifying, and ofc superbly acted. Also, I love that the fact that he praised John (as opposed to every other hunter having a rockier relationship with him) is clearly supposed to be a red flag LMFAO.

-I enjoy how the seasons delves more deeply into Sam’s ~~dark origins, since it was my fave thing about him way back when. I’m already mourning the (as I suspect) lost of his powers, ngl. There’s a little more attention in how he tends to over-identify with supernatural creatures struggling with their ~dark sides too (bitch me too, the fuck xD), which I LOVE to see (among other reasons because at least in that way we get a little of their POV in the forefront lol). One of my favourites in that sense was the episode centered around the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-ghost, played by Tricia Helfer. I clocked early one what was going on, but it was still very enjoyable, especially with Sam’s empathy with her (contrasted by Dean being a total bitch about it, btw. I can’t believe I still see post about how Dean is all heart/kindness/compassion/whatever the fuck. Dean is all about selective empathy and only when it conveniences him, pls).

I was more divided on the episode with Madison the werewolf, tbh. OTOH it put Sam in a better position, for a change xD. As the one willing to make The Hard Choices by fulfilling his promise to kill her because she was dangerous, even when Dean offered to ~take the burden from him. OTOH I hate that kind of thing lol. YOU GUYS KNOW A HUNTER PRO LIKE BOBBY, I BET HE COULD’VE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING TO CONTAIN HER A FEW NIGHTS A MONTH. Also, my immediate reaction was to compare this to when my man Angel had a crush on a werelady and helped her every month lmfao. But then, very few characters can withstand a comparison with Angel, in any sense :P

I also liked Sam’s subplot with his fellow demon-psychic kids, though I wish it’d lasted longer :/ (also: RME at the queer girl dying almost immediately AND her power being killing people, her girlfriend first of all, with her touch. The black guy was the last one to die at least...?). My fave was Ava, by far. I loved her since her reaction to helping Sam stealing a psychiatrist’s records was yelling “I’M AWESOME!!”. It made it easy to buy that someone that appeared so mundane, with her easy life and her fiance and whatnot, would become so power hungry and go off the rails, IMO.

BTW: RME at Dean being all “oh Sam is going too dark/becoming to cold” when Sam kills Jake. Jake ripped off his spine and killed him first!! It both amuses me and infuriates me all the times Dean tries to push Sam to be more like himself and then freaks out whenever Sam is not all sunshine and rainbows (while still remaining, IMO, far less cold than Dean himself. Besides, it’s not easy to be colder than Dean, lol).

Lastly, a little character detail I loved was when Sam was jealous about Dean being in the federal database but not himself lmfao. 

-I loved the new foreshadowing crumb with Sam finding out Mary knew the demon, too (information he’ll withhold from Dean, which I approve of LOL). I mean, I know exactly what’s up, I’ve watched most of s4 xD (also, what is UP with this family and making deals with demons. Everyone but Sam so far!! And then HE gets dragged for ~getting too close to one smh. Maybe lead by example!! Also also: yes, it was meant to be ambiguous, but I can’t help but notice the only kiss-pact -or further, depending to how close YED was to Lilith’s levels, since to make a deal with her you have to fuck xD- we didn’t see was the one that must’ve happened between John and YED. Cowards!! xD). Still. I’m so curious about her. Her resurrection is one of the main reasons I’m determined to make it to the later seasons, ngl.

-Another thing I LOVED about this season is how they used sibling relationships to parallel/foreshadow stuff about the brothers, the way s1 did often with fathers. I’ve already mentioned Gordon and his sister, but the others are not less brutal imo: Andy having to kill his evil twin, who wanted him all for himself (... Dean is that you xD); the little girl’s ghost who wanted her grand-niece to commit suicide to stay with her, and didn’t give in until her old sister agreed to die in her place. It was chilling. Also, at one point the parallel was between the brothers and a married couple (the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-a-ghost) and asñdlfkajsf. I’m guessing they had fun with the shippers lol.

Speaking of the brothers’ relationship, this season also goes a little further in escalating the violence between them, when Dean punches Sam in the face and he refuses to respond (“you can hit me all you want, it won’t change anything”. Fuck), or when Dean again punches Sam after Sam was possessed by Meg ¬¬

-Going back to my love-hate relationship with Dean, lmfao. My biggest beef remains how much validation his POV gets from the narrative, granted or not; he’s one of the most irritating cases of protagonist-centered morality and I know it’s only going to get worse smh. At least this season it feels a little more balanced than in s1, with episodes like the one where the civilian Sam had tried to keep away dies halfway through the ep because Dean allowed him to get involved, for example. Still, it grates on me xD. The continuing prison rape jokes/demonic possession rape jokes (with Meg and Sam), his general grossness with women and his lack of sympathy for non-humans even when they’re not trying to hurt anyone don’t exactly help. Also, I often see him praised for some of his political views, a lot of which I agree with (his mistrust of cops, saying convicts don’t deserve to die no matter what they do), but when contrasted with his general attitude across the show it’s really grating ngl.

But then he has such AMAZING character details thrown in, that make me appreciate him as a POV character nonetheless, as much as I often want to curb stomp the guy xD. I loved his speech about how there’s no such thing as a dignified death. I love how he refused to come near his mother’s grave, both at the beginning and at the end of the episode (this show is like, the cure to DCCW’s shows false fuzzy sentimentality istg). I love his pop-culture references, like when Sam mentions Dean always thought OJ was the murderer or Dean jokes about freeing Katie Holmes from Scientology’s cult xD (sometimes it really hits you how old this show is lol). I enjoyed his Wishverse episode, and his lines after Sam dies/he sells his soul to save him (“I had one job”, “my life can mean something��) hit HARD.

But most of all? I LOVE how and why he starts losing respect for John. It’s so fucking cold and abrupt and makes so much sense!! Like, yes, part of it is John’s message about killing Sam (... again, father of the year!), but most of all it’s about John making a pact with a demon and dying TO SAVE DEAN (and probably, simply that he died at all. That shit de-mystifies anyone). IT’S SO FUCKING GREAT TO WATCH. “He spent his life chasing that demon. He was supposed to die fighting, not making a deal with the damn thing. That was supposed to be his legacy, not this." Damn, Dean xDD. The *contempt* with which he said that killed me.

I also love his inherently atheist vision of the world (even if yes, it’s extremely funny knowing this show has canon God and angels and shit -no Jesus Christ though, which I find endlessly funny-, or that they actually meet the archangel Gabriel in disguise xD. Either way, the episode with the fake angel and its foreshadowing was hilarious), his anti-destiny stance, and that it’s him and not John who gets to kill YED.

-I liked Ellen and Jo. Not LOVED, but I liked them. I keep fearing that secondary (especially female) characters will feel empty/shallow but the show keeps proving me wrong, even with one-episode wonders, and at first I wasn’t sure about them, but I was sold quickly. Partially because of the actresses, they both had this... humanizing, endearing quality? It worked really well.  I also loved the explicit contrast between John and Ellen’s parenting styles, with Ellen wanting Jo to return to school and be safe from the hunt, and Jo wanting something different. Also, I wouldn’t ship it if you paid me, but LOL at anyone who actually buys Dean sees Jo as a ~little sister just because MEG said that rme.

This show is just REALLY good when it comes to giving depth to a character with only a couple of brush strokes, which makes it all the more frustrating when they abruptly die or disappear to never be seen again/only once more (to abruptly die!) :)))

I was less sold on Ash; he was amusing, but having a Genius Hacker TM helping them out seemed like the beginning of increasingly giving the brothers ways of deux ex machina-ing them out of problems, when one of my favourite things about the show is seeing them creatively find ways out themselves. I like when they’re competent! Like with the multitude of codes they have to improvise plans, like in the episode where with two words through a lawyer they implemented a quick scheme so that Sam would escape from a police precinct. I like that stuff.

-I’m still so bitterly jealous about the dead man’s blood hurting vampires detail. SO BITTERLY JEALOUS. I love a lot of what this show does with its lore but that little bit is the worst offender. I want it so bad xD

[shimmershae]

Personally?  I'm all for Carol and Daryl experiencing a little emotional catharsis.  My girl has been fucked over six ways to Sunday since Rick abandoned her on the side of that road.  Since before that really.  Being married to Ed Peletier, enduring his physical and mental abuse and being on constant alert that he might try something untoward and evil with their own daughter had to be a living nightmare.  Finally being released from that prison only to lose Sophia so tragically and feel the guilt over not doing more to find her?  Oh my heart.  My girl has suffered in so many ways and for so long.  She's barely had a moment to settle into some kind of peace and be her true self, the person she always wanted and thought she could be, without having to regroup after some tragedy and don another mask.  What we're seeing this season, whether it's ever explicitly spelled out or not, is a cumulative effect of every bit of that.

So yeah. 

 Bring on the angst. 

 Lance those wounds so the ugly infection can start to be cleansed. 

 Do I deny that she's acting recklessly?  That I'm just as frustrated as Daryl that she is almost impossible to reach right now for more than a few, brief moments of clarity and peace? 

 Absolutely not. 

 I'm not that kind of fan. 

 But I am a fan with a long memory and I remember Michonne chaining reminders of her own executed vengeance and always present loss to her person and having them follow in her wake.  I'm also a fan that recollects Rick ripping out the throat of the nasty bastard that would have raped his son. 

 Some might argue that those acts didn't endanger anybody good, anybody not considered family, and I'll give them that.  But see?  Those instances, at those points, were relatively isolated in comparison.  They didn't manifest as a result of soul-breaking after soul-breaking loss mounting one right over the top of the other. 

 Ed Peletier physically, emotionally, and probably sexually abused his wife for years.  He looked at his own little girl with evil in his thoughts and his heart.  Walkers got to him and Carol got to take a pickaxe to the human representation of the traumas of her past.  But did she get a moment to actually breathe and exist peacefully before life hit her cruelly again? 

 Barely.  Because Sophia was lost, bitten and turned, and she had to endure the trauma of not only that but Rick putting a bullet through her little girl's head. 

 Dale was eviscerated. 

 Andrea put herself between Carol and some walkers with the downfall of the Farm, too.  Survivor's guilt is real, ya'll.

 Then they found the Prison and things were looking up.  They really were. 

 Hershel was bitten and from that moment, everything snowballed.  Because Rick had to amputate his leg and Carol found herself promoted to Lori's main source of medical help.  She did what she could to prepare, but it was all for naught because that little punk Andrew got his revenge and ultimately two of Carol's closest friends perished.  And again, she got to carry that guilt.  Because T-Dog sacrificed himself to save her.  She wasn't there to help with Judith's birth.  Can you imagine how she felt?  I can and it was at this point, that a pattern started to really emerge, IMHO. 

 They got Andrea back, only to ultimately lose her again.  Merle was also killed by the Governor. 

 Fast forward some and things were starting to settle again.  Real happiness and peace seemed to be within reach and the sickness started.  Not wanting to lose anymore of her family, Carol made the hard choice to do something to try to stop it from spreading and put down a too far gone David and Karen. She carried the secret for a while, had to put down her friend Ryan and become the reluctant adoptive mother of Lizzie and Mika, and then Rick figured things out.  He took her on a mission, passed his unilateral judgment, and left her on the side of the road like trash. 

 Now, Carol has never been shown to be unfeeling.  Never.  She didn't react with histrionics but she was hurt deeply with Rick's way of handling the situation.  Still.  That didn't stop her from going back at the first hint of trouble for her family and what did she find? 

 She found the whole place in ruins and thought her entire family was dead until she happened upon Tyreese and the girls.

 I don't have to go through the painful details of Lizzie and Mika.  Anybody that has ever loved the character of Carol Peletier and/or afforded her an inkling of unbiased understanding knows how much the Grove gutted her.

 Then there was Terminus and getting her family back again, only to feel like an outsider.  Finding Beth and witnessing her pay for her childish impulsiveness in such a cruel way.  Trying to bring Daryl back from the brink of losing a child himself when Lizzie and Mika and what happened still haunted her.  When the only other person that was haunted by Lizzie and Mika died so tragically so soon, how do you think she felt?  Hmm? 

 They get to Alexandria and she took to hiding herself and her emotions behind masks and distance. 

 She met Sam and echoes of her own abusive past rise up to confront her. Sam ultimately met a grisly end.  Morgan arrived and honed in on her like some kind of morality police, constantly picking at the scabs of the wounds that just wouldn't heal.

 By the time Denise was murdered and the kill floor happened, Carol was thisclose to breaking. To just giving in.  And guess who swooped in again? 

 I won't keep going on in detail because this has already turned into a novella. 

 But Carol has suffered inordinately under these writers' pens. 

 Aside from the people I've already mentioned (more than enough to drive any sane person to break), she also lost Glenn and Abraham, Sasha, Noah, Carl, Benjamin, Enid and Tara and finally Henry. 

 Henry. 

 Tell me.  If it had been Judith on one of those pikes, would there be any acceptable limit to the vengeance doled out by the likes of Michonne and Daryl, possibly even Carol herself? 

 I don't think so. 

 In fact, I think any or all three of the characters would have been praised for the lengths they would go.  Particularly Michonne. 

 But Carol's efforts are too much? 

 Paint everybody with the same brush or admit to your own bias.  Stop persecuting a particular character and her fans because you just don't prefer her.  Everybody's welcome to have their own favorites.  I'm certainly not here o police anybody on that.  The objections roll in when the demonization starts because from where I stand, as a fan of both the remaining originals and Michonne? It's just not warranted. 

 Anyway, let me climb back out of that long and winding rabbit hole to reiterate my original point, lol.

 Bring on the angst and the arguments if need be.  It's past time for all the feelings, and I do mean all the feelings to be voiced.

 That is all. 

 Goodnight.