#Her mom and Kevyn and Allie and Coach Ben and Travis and ALL the other Yellowjackets

[motherofmabari]

I haven't fully sorted out my feelings on Nat's fate yet, and I've already seen some really good points about why some people felt it was a bad story move, but there is something I really enjoyed about it and I want to talk about why, so here goes;

I think the moment before her death was the first moment Natalie Scatorccio has truly felt like herself since Misty pulled her back from Javi. That moment broke her in a way she has never been able to mend, because in her heart and at her core she is the girl who does what's right, damn the consequences, but in that moment she was the girl who saved her own skin instead. She's never been able to forgive herself, and from then on she thought of herself as scum. Nothing would ever fix it because she was always going to be the girl who let an innocent boy drown.

As an adult Nat was finally, finally starting to heal, and while it happened at Lottie's compound, it started with Lisa. Nat hurt Lisa (justified as it was, I do think Nat carried guilt about it) and then when given the chance to hurt her back, Lisa forgave her instead. Lisa talked with her, let Nat see her in a vulnerable state. They were friends, and I think Nat felt protective over Lisa in a big sister sort of way, the same way she felt about Javi.

So in that moment, when Natalie realized what Misty was going to do, she was faced with the same dilemma - save herself and condemn someone she cares about, or die in their stead. The first time her self preservation instincts won, and while I personally don't think that makes her a terrible, irredeemable person, she absolutely did. That wasn't who she was, that wasn't the person she wanted to be. If the second instance had come up earlier in the modern timeline, I think self preservation would have won a second time, because she already believed she was a selfish person who couldn't ever change, and though she was suicidal she had to keep her pact with Travis. Instead, the second instance happened after Natalie had begun to believe she was someone who deserved to survive, she was redeemable, that she could be the good and kind person she always wanted to be. In that split second, gun pointed at her heart and Misty moving in for the kill, she became the girl she had been, the girl clinging to Javi's hand and pulling him to safety. She made the choice that she felt was right, at her own expense, and she could finally be at peace with herself as a result. She was finally the protector she'd been, that she'd always wanted to be.

I hate that this means we're losing Juliette Lewis, and I think there's valid criticism to be made here, but I do really love how this brought Nat full circle.