#Help my stupid baka life I'm falling

[deanwinchesterwebsite]

"Tv shows are inherently important" debatable. "TV shows can give thousands of people the same specific illness and mark their psyches forever" this we cannot possible refute

[dykephan]

hi, totally agree with you about the december getting together thing and just wanted to add on to a few points. One about online perceptions and stuff is they mightve both wanted to have this appearance of a cool, sexy, mysterious, emo guy on the internet who is "mature" and has casual sex all the time nbd lol and not wanting to seem clingy. Its kind of embarrasing to want more sometimes (its cheesy, its meant to be). For Dan I also dont think he would want Phil to see him as an obsessed fan (also the age thing) so putting up a nonchalant front would help put them on more even footing. For Phil its just like you already said mainly and not wanting to scare Dan off, following Dan's lead. Also Dan just getting out of a longterm relationship and being 18 he might not have been inclined to tie himself down quick when he was single for the first time in a bit, especially to someone who lives far away, but then obv realized this thing with Phil wasnt just going to be some casual fling. Also lol this "reveal" was not weird/ suprising to me bcos of my own experience of being with this girl for like 3 ish months had been friends previously we were having sex and saying we loved eachother etc but whole time being like we're not dating though lol

oh 100% agree, especially when you're at that age it's sooo embarrassing to admit you do want to find someone who cares about you and enriches your life and shares a future with you... it's so much easier to flirt with strangers online and pretend you're too cool to feel any particular way about it. like you said, i think it comes down to both of them realizing that this was not going to be some casual fling. and 2 months is honestly no time at all considering how much they had to think about & plan for!!

also yeah i agree it wasn't surprising to me it was more just like. first of all like holy shit why are you sharing this information with me unprompted are you sure you meant to say that?? second of all, i guess i didn't KNOW until i KNEW. it's one thing to look at the things they posted around that time period and make guesses, but hearing it out loud made me feel sooooo dumbfounded. idk why but that one hit me way harder than the tour bus thing...

anyway let me share a personal anecdote here because it's only fair after i've invaded their privacy i should embarrass myself a little fksjfks many years ago i started talking to a tumblr mutual and we got super close as friends, we spent literally hours talking every night and we'd even fall asleep on skype just to be with each other. i told her things i have still never told anyone else in my life. and ofc there was heavyy flirting which was fun except i have horrible commitment issues.. doing all this online didn't feel as scary and real to me. but then we made plans to actually travel and meet up, and i started getting. idk. itchy 😭 but i did go across the country to meet her and it was such a perfect weekend, she was so funny and beautiful and even more magnetic in person. it clarified my feelings about her in a way that chatting online never could, but also it scared the shit out of me and so when that weekend was over i went back home and i told her i couldn't do it anymore and that was it. we tried to be friends after that but it just wasn't the same and neither of us had our hearts in it. i still think about her and hope she's doing well but we haven't talked in years

so basically i'm living in the dark dan and phil timeline where they filmed pinof and then said okay bye dude 👍🏻 fuck my stupid baka life

[kuronanox]

Recovering - Fuegoleon Vermillion

"She's very sick right now." Owen tells Fuegoleon as the crimson lion captain sat down next to (Your Name) holding her hand. "With some rest and not much activities she will heal slowly."

"I see, thank you." Fuegoleon tells Owen as he left the two to talk.

"I'm sorry, I've been so weak." (Your Name) quietly says giving a painful smile.

"Stop being sorry, it doesn't matter if you are weak or strong. I will protect you." He tells her wiping the sweat from her forehead. She shakes her head and grab both his hands into her small ones.

"You should remarry."

Fuegoleon eyes widen, it was unexpected of her to say such a thing to him. "What are you going on about?"

There was silence in the room as (Your Name) started to cough harshly, the red blood falling onto the sheets. Fuegoleon was already up from his seat and holding her body. He rubbed her back and offered a cold glass of water.

"Let me go get Owen."

She grabbed his arm and shook her head. "It's fine, I just need to rest."

He sighed, he knew she was so stubborn.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn, even on your death bed?"

"This isn't my death bed, I'm just sick." (Your Name) argued. Fuegoleon rolled his eyes and fixed her bed sheets. "I have to go. Captain duties."

She nodded her head as he softly kissed her forehead . "Goodbye, I'll come home soon." She promised him, Fuegoleon looked back and gave her a small smile.

The following weeks passed and she was recovering slowly. There was definitely process, she no longer was coughing blood and was able to walk around without fainting. Fuegoleon didn't visit much because of work duties but Leopold would come.

"How's everything?" She asked the younger boy.

Leopold was so full of life, him and Fuegoleon were definitely opposites when it came to personalities. "AMAZING! Aniue has been training me personally!"

(Your Name) smiles, he was amazing with children.

"Sometime I feel helpless, sometimes I feel like I've failed Fuegoleon." She tells Leopold as the younger child tilted his head.

"What do you mean? Aniue loves you!" His face a little redden out of irritation. Leopold knew, there was a age gap between the two but that doesn't mean he didn't know anything.

He remember when (Your Name) and Fuegoleon were younger, about their early twenties. She use to pester him all the time, it was a one sided love at first.

When Leopold was about 7 he would see (Your Name) around the house following Fuegoleon. She was like a parasite stuck onto him. Often times he would find his brother pushing her away or calling her a nuisance because he was all about training and becoming the next captain.

"How did Aniue fall in love with you?" Leopold asked, curious on their relationship.

(Your Name) smiled and looked out the window.

"I guess time? I don't actually know. After I stopped pestering him Fuegoleon started bothering me. I guess you can say a switch flipped off."

Leopold giggled he couldn't see his older brother bothering a girl because he was always so serious. "I think brother hit the jackpot, (Your Name) older sister is pretty." He cheers her up by jumping in the air as if he won a race.

"Oh! I have to go now! Training with aniue! He's going to be upset if I'm late!" Leopold shouts giving her a kiss on the cheek before running off. (Your Name) eyes widen as she slightly smirked. "You really are growing up now."

Fuegoleon watched his squad members as they practiced their magic but his mind wasn't paying attention. His thoughts were about (Your Name) he missed her next to him everyday.

Every morning he woke up it was alone and every night he went to bed it was alone. The bed sheets weren't nearly as warm as he wanted it to be.

Fuegoleon sighed as he clocked back into reality when his men asked what they needed to do next. "Everyone good job today, get some rest."

Leopold ran to his brother and walked beside him. "Are you going to see (Your Name) tonight?"

"Tomorrow morning I have some papers to do." He flatly states as Leopold pouts, Fuegoleon was acting a little down.

"Aniue? Why is (Your Name) older sister always sick?"

Fuegoleon stops walking and sighs, this was a topic he never liked talking about. Not even to Mereoleona. He felt like he failed (Your Name) that day and onward.

"She had a miscarriage 3 years ago, we didn't tell anyone she was pregnant because she wasn't showing yet. Because of that her captain sent her onto a dangerous mission. I told her multiple times to give it to someone else but she refused."

Fuegoleon paused to catch his breath as Leopold tried to soak in the information without asking to many question.

"(Your Name) and her team called for back up and I rushed to the area, by the time I arrived half the team was dead and she was unconscious with a wound on her stomach."

Fuegoleon quickly turns his back onto Leopold, he didn't want to show his younger brother that he regretted not stopping her that day.

"Ever since that day, she stopped taking care of her health and because of her wounds were so deep she will never fully recover. I failed her that day and everyday since."

Without saying anything else Fuegoleon bid his farewell and walked to his chamber. This was a big step for him. No one ever asked him what happened to (Your Name) after. They just assumed she was just sick a lot.

(Your Name) was harshly awaken by loud screaming coming out from the building. The Clover kingdom was set ablaze, before she could run and aide Owen stopped her, but she argued with him that it's also her duty to help the kingdom.

"Trust the magic knights." He told her and she angrily laid back in bed. "I wonder what is happening."

Laying back down she looked out the window, the fire wasn't comforting like Fuegoleon, it was menacing looking.

(Your Name) started to see the flames die down after a few hours. "Looks like they settled everything."

Footsteps outside her door were rushing around, she couldn't tell what was going on but the medics were probably helping the wounded.

It wasn't until Leopold slammed her door open and he was sweating, his face full of panic. "Aniue!" He yells out of breath as she rushed out of bed and followed him.

She ran towards the bed she found Fuegoleon on, he was unconscious and his arm was gone. "How-?" She stops and covered her mouth as the tears chocked out.

Julius was there as he patted her head and took a seat beside Fuegoleon. "He did his best." He continued by handing her Fuegoleon grimoire. She gasped.

His grimoire was half gone. "He could have died and I was laying in bed the whole time."

Julius let her onto good news. "He's fine now, the only downside is when he will wake up."

(Your Name) and Leopold sat close together for comfort. "I'm calling Mereoleona to take over for now."

The following weeks were hard for her, Leopold and the squad members. There was a lot of adjustments that were made.

(Your Name) was finally back home and the good thing was that she could watch over Fuegoleon.

"I feel like our roles have reversed." She sadly smiled as a knock made her look up.

Mereoleona walked in the room with a look of disappointment in her face. "Looks like we have some guys that need to be put in their place, Fuegoleon is first."

(Your Name) just chuckles as Mereoleona cross her arms. "Whoever did this to him definitely was strong, we are a facing an huge enemy right now." (Your Name) hummed in response and grip Fuegoleon hand tightly.

Mereoleona stared at the two and recalled when they both started dating, she had never seen her little brother head over heels for nobody. "You should take care of yourself more... holding onto the past won't help the future." Mereoleona told her little sister in law.

(Your Name) smile lightly as she caresses the back of her beloved hand. "I know, I never blamed him for being late that day. It was just fate telling us we weren't ready."

"Then don't blame yourself for not being able to help him today. He wouldn't be to happy to see you in distress especially since you are sick."

(Your Name) looks down ashamed of her actions the past few years, of course she knew she was unhealthy. After losing the baby and getting a heavy wound that would never fully recover she fell into depression and started to punish herself. She blamed herself for letting her child and teammate down that day.

"I-" She paused and swallowed before speaking again "I told him to remarry."

Mereoleona roughly hits her head and yell. "BAKA! Don't take his love for you lightly!"

"YA!" (Your Name) screams and threw a hit back. "I know, I just don't want him to be stressed out anymore."

"Like I said, don't take his love for granted."

Leopold then walked into the room, he was smiling. "YEAH! Aniue love for you is bigger than this world and so is ours to yours, I know you are sick but we all know you use to be a strong magic knight before!"

(Your Name) grew flushed and chuckled, she lost a baby but right know she was surrounded with her family.  

She didn't know how long she waited for him but (Your Name) decided it was time to recover and get healthy again. She trained endlessly day and night, toning her body and magic again. She felt a sense of relief being able to be out of bed and fight again.

(Your Name) heard news that Leopold was trying to protect the people in the squad as their vice captain had been taken over by a elf. "Please let me make it to him on time. I can't lose anybody else."

Leopold was on the floor, he needed to get up, he was going to be the captain one day but his body wouldn't move. "Leopold!" She yells reaching out to him as a orange flame engulfed them from behind.

"You did well (Your Name), Leo." Fuegoleon deep voice flows out as she sees him walk out. A feeling of burden had been lifted off her chest. Of course he was there to save them when they needed him the most.

"What took so long stupid?" she lightly punches his side as he lovingly gives her a sincere smile.

"Don't worry, I made it on time." Fuegoleon reassured her as she sees a salamander next to him. "I see you picked up a new friend along the way."

He chuckled "It's a long story but we will have time later once the kingdom is back in safe hands." Fuegoleon pauses and gives a good look at her. The color was back on her face, and she gained a few pounds.

"It's good to have you back my love."

"I can say the same for you mister, looks like both of us bedridden doesn't sit well."

Leopold pushes himself in the middle. "HELLO! AN ELF IS ABOUT TO KILL US! SAVE THE HAPPY REUNION FOR LATER!"

"Ya Leo, let us adult handle the situation." She smirked as Fuegoleon and her both throw a powerful blow. "Yes, Leo don't take us for granted. We've handled worse enemies together."

Leopold just throws a baby tantrum and smiles after, he was really glad they were both back.

"(Your Name) let's go." Fuegoleon says taking her hand as she gladly accepts.

"For now, we both are broken somehow in some form but we will continue to grow together."