#Healing Killing has a gun to my head now the actual f*ck??????

[theinfinitedivides]

TABBER?????? WHAT THE F*CK????????

[closecry]

Trip Of A Lifetime (Vaas x Female Reader)

Also posted on AO3, heed the warnings that are under the cut.

Word Count: 3,491.

This is a soulmate AU, but that doesn't mean it's happy because I tried to write Vaas true to his character.

Warnings: Minor Character Death, Human Trafficking, Misogyny, minor descriptions of violence, and torture.

You have a brother in this who is unnamed and several random female characters that are also unnamed.

This is a dark story! Read with caution.

Tumblr requires me to censor all the f words, a use of the words d*ck, and c**cksucker or it won't show up in tags because it's dumb. If you want a version without that, there is a link to the AO3 at the top.

****

You didn't normally go on vacation. It had been years since your last one, and you don't know why, but when your rich asshole brother offered you the “trip of a lifetime”, you accepted the offer.

He always seemed to travel here with whatever girlfriend he had at the time and a couple of friends. Normal enough.

This year it was with your brother's new girlfriend and her 2 sisters, which you thought was odd, but you didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

You and your brother never got along, and you remember vividly him seeming to hate you when you two disagreed on matters. He was kind of misogynistic, but you thought maybe this was him trying to finally bury the hatchet.

In hindsight, maybe you should've just said no when you were given the option.

The island was nice, it was the dry season so it was, well, dry. Incredibly so. It was also hot, and because of it you spent most of your day out on the water in some manner.

You enjoyed jet skiing, fishing, and snorkeling, and it wasn't until that night that it really started going downhill.

You all were enjoying the cool night around a small bonfire you had created, and one of the girls even helped clean and then cook a few fishes she had caught earlier for you all to eat.

It was then that your brother pulled out a bottle of white wine. Innocent enough. What better to wash down the delicious, fresh fish?

You too eagerly accepted a drink, as did the other girls, and within the next 10 minutes you all one by one started dropping like flies. Maybe in hindsight you should've noticed that your brother had kindly denied when his girlfriend teased him about not taking a drink. Maybe that should've tipped you off.

Your head hurt like a bitch when you woke up.

Your eyes open languidly and you look around. Your hands were tied up above you to some bamboo shoots, and f*ck, was this a cage? You see one of the other girls in a similar situation in front of you, although she still looks to be out. Idly, you wonder how much of the drugged wine she had drank. More than you, you're sure.

There were men in red with guns walking around the cage, and you can't help it when you see one with a mohawk make a beeline for the cage with you and the other women in it.

“Hey, bitches, wake the f*ck up!” You hear in a vaguely spanish sounding accent, and motherf*cker you feel those words appear across your hip. This man was your soulmate. “Enough beauty sleep!”

Your eyes open, darting to where you can feel someone starting to bang on the cage, shaking everything in it.

He's the one with the black mohawk, and he has scars on either side of his head. You wonder who was able to get close enough to hurt him like that, as the person likely would have to have been on top of him because of the angle. Former lover maybe?

It's too dark to tell much else about his features immediately, but your mouth goes dry when his eyes meet yours.

The man crouches down next to your cage, next to you in order to get at eye level with you. He grows to have a wide smile on his face as he continues to look at you, and that pisses you off at how happy he looks at the situation.

This. This was your soulmate. This sorry piece of shit who is likely involved in human trafficking was your soulmate. What the f*ck type of luck is that?

You can't help the tears that prick at your eyes. This was how you were going to die, probably. Your soulmate was either going to kill you or sell you… or worse yet, keep you as some sort of pet. You can't imagine any of those options sounding appealing… Actually, at this point, maybe death did rather than the alternatives.

Your heart is racing, and you wonder what's going to happen when you finally speak and he knows who you are to him. What you are to him.

The tears fall down your face and you can see a vague amusement run over the man, the monster's face. “Why are you crying, honey?” He asks, his head tilting in reaction to you and he places his hands on the bars of your cage to lean closer to you.

You can make out more of his face with him being this close, and just like his head- scars litter his face. Some are in groups, but most of them look like scrapes or scratches that didn't heal correctly.

“Because I’m… afraid?” You admit, with a whisper and you see realization come over his eyes. It feels kind of good, to see him finally look as worried as you had felt since you'd woken up.

His eyebrows furrow and you can see his hands curling tighter around the bamboo sticks that make up your cage. He looks like he can't believe it, like you'd grown a second head.

“Vaas? Is there something wrong with that one? I know she’s a little bit of a bitch, but...” You look up and see your brother behind… Vaas.

Vaas cocks his head as soon as he calls you a bitch and you can tell he really doesn't like it, even though he had called you one just moments prior.

Your brother looks afraid of Vaas as he continues. “I can bring another one if you'll wait a few weeks if she doesn't meet your standards.” He says, throwing up his hands in defense.

You watch Vaas push up to a standing position and he pushes against the cage, causing it to almost break under his hands. Vaas turns around and faces your brother and you don't think you've ever seen your brother this scared before in your entire life.

Vaas starts to slowly walk toward him, and your brother backs up, but is met with a group of guards that stop him from continuing after Vaas gives a small whistle and head movement. Vaas was undoubtedly the leader here. That's exactly what that little show told you.

“I can bring 2, if that's what you want!” Your brother says, looking like he's about to have a heart attack as he visibly shakes in the guard's arms. “I can even give you a discount, two for one!”

Vaas only starts to laugh, and it’s so bone chilling that you almost want to look away, but your eyes are drawn to it, to him. “You stupid f*ck, you’re trying to sell me what's already mine!” Vaas grabs your brother’s shirt and headbutts him incredibly hard, and you can see the blood that starts to pool at his nose that is now bent at an angle, where Vaas had obviously just broken it. If he had been standing on his own you imagine he would've fallen.

Vaas pulls a gun out from his holster.

You should probably say something. You should be screaming at him to stop, begging for your brothers life… but you stay silent.

Vaas moves the gun to your brother's head and it's only now you register that the other girls are awake, and they are begging for your brother's life…

Why?

He had tried to sell you to a human trafficker, he got what was coming to him. He was no better than the man pointing a gun against his head. Maybe the wine hadn't worn off completely for them, maybe they were still in a bleary state. They likely don't understand what's going on.

Vaas, instead of just blowing his brains out, moves the gun down to your brother's knee, and pulls the trigger. It all happens so fast, the noise of the gunshot and the girl’s screams are heightened, and you notice his girlfriend is crying the hardest in fear of everything.

Your brother falls to the ground with a shout and Vaas motions for the guards to grab him and pull him back into a standing position.

Your brother screams as the pain you imagine is made worse by the way they're holding him up and forcing him to put pressure on it.

“Shut the f*ck up!” Vaas screams back, getting extremely close to your brother's face. “Stop f*cking screaming!” Vaas says, and then leans in close to whisper something to your brother, and it's only then that he stops screaming in pain.

You can’t imagine what depraved thing he'd whispered to him, but it works.

Vaas starts to walk back over to you, leaning on the entrance to the cage, and motions toward your brother with his gun still in hand. “Who was this c**ksucker to you, hermoso?”

Was. Who was he to you. Vaas was referring to him with past tense verbs. Vaas is planning on killing him.

“...My brother.” You tell him after a moment.

Vaas nods and opens the gate to the cage, looking like he's contemplating his options. He pulls a knife out of his belt and plays with it as he talks. “I have a shitty sister as well, I can get that.” When he leans down to you with a knife in his hand you're confident he's about to kill you, soulmate or not Vaas was f*cking crazy.

Instead, Vaas moves the knife to where your hands are tied up and then stops. “If I untie you, I want you to promise me you're not going to fight me.” Vaas says, running his other hand through your hair to get it out of your face. “I would rather you not see what I'm about to do to your brother.” He admits, and you believe him.

He pauses and gives you a small smirk. “Unless... you want to help me?” The way he says it runs chills down your spine. Vaas seems to really like that idea.

So, you had been right about him wanting to kill your brother. With the way things were going, with how the blood was rushing out of his leg, you doubt he'll survive the next hour.

You don't feel sorry for him, but you do feel afraid of the man in front of you.

“No, I'd rather… go.” You whisper, your voice quiet and shaky. If there was even the barest of chance he would let you go, you would take whatever you could.

He chuckles darkly. “Let me be clear, this isn't an offer to be set free.” His smile doesn't fade, it's incredibly unsettling to see. “It's an offer to avoid watch me kill your brother, hermoso.”

You should've known. How could you get your hopes up around this sociopath? “Okay.” You say, and your eyes drop to the floor.

That’s apparently not good enough for him, judging by the way he shakes his head. “Say the words, ‘I promise I won't run away, or try to fight you, Vaas.’... Do it.” He prompts you, moving your chin up and down in line with the words he’s wanting you to say.

“I promise I won't run away, or try to fight you, Vaas.” You repeat back to him in as monotone of a voice you can, trying to avoid the fear leaking into it. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction. You fail, for the most part.

Vaas nods, that seemingly pleasing him. “That wasn't so hard now, was it?” Your hands fall to your sides with a swift move of his knife, freeing them.

“Hermanos!” Vaas yells toward a few of the guards, catching their attention and motions to where you’re standing. “Take her out to the beach to relax.”

His eyes narrow at them, dangerously, and when he speaks it's almost too quiet for you to hear. Unfortunately, you had always had good hearing. “And if any of you f*ckers lay a finger on her I'll cut every one of your d*cks off and feed them to the dogs.”

Somehow, even though it's a bizarre threat, you honestly believe him and feel like he's done it before. The guards look legitimately afraid by his threat, and because of it you feel somewhat safe… He cared about you in some f*cked up way, and you believed the guards wouldn't try anything because of it.

The walk to the beach is done in almost complete silence. Almost.

There are a total of 5 guards he sends with you, which is 5 too many for your liking... Perhaps he knew you would try to run if you were given the opportunity.

The guards at the back are the only ones that dare to talk, and you wonder if they think you can't speak Spanish, because that's what you hear in their whispers.

“Who do you think she is to Vaas?”

“I think it's his soulmate. I've never seen him act this way around anyone.”

“Is it possible to have a soulmate even if you don't have a soul?”

“She has a nice ass. He's lucky.”

“You better not touch her, though. Vaas’ll kill you."

You wish you didn't know Spanish.

The feel of sand in your shoes isn't entirely unwelcome as you get to the beach. After all, it's better than the alternative of the blood and guts you were kept in at the cages.

The guards eventually let you start to lead as soon as you get to the beach and you decide to just plop down in the sand when you're out of the eyeline of the outpost. In the distance, you can still see a trail of smoke billowing out from the direction of the camp.

Even though you know it's going to do nothing but stress you out further, you decide to look around the other areas where the shoreline turns into forest. There are similar smokestacks as far as the eye could see… even if you escaped, you wouldn't make it far before you hit the next camp.

It's with a heavy heart that you decide to ignore the trees and the dozens of smokestacks, and instead think about anything else.

It's a nice night out, this is the same night sky you had spent watching with your brother and the girls he had brought. You hope they’re okay, but you doubt it.

There are a lot of stars out, and you remember when you were younger when you used to chart them with your brother outside. You don't care if he's okay so much. He'd done this to you. He deserved everything that Vaas gave him.

You end up leaning into the sand and essentially making a small bed for your tired body to lay in.

It's easily 3 or 4 hours by the time Vaas shows up, and you only know it because the full moon has disappeared and the sun is steadily rising on the horizon.

You were sleeping incredibly lightly, and so even the soft noise of him whistling the guards away startles you from your slumber. You move to a sitting position and move to sit cross legged groggily.

The guards fall away and he sits down next to you in the sand, sitting cross legged with his arms bracing his body on either side.

You expect to see him covered in blood. Maybe even have another scar on his face. Guts staining his shirt.

No, he looks… wet. His hair is still drying, that much was obvious, as it's lying flat where it had been spiked into a mohawk earlier.

You're not sure, but you're also fairly confident he's wearing a different pair of clothes as well… They look almost identical to the ones he was wearing. If you hadn't paid attention, maybe you wouldn't have noticed.

He's showered since torturing and killing your brother before coming to pick you up from the beach at least. That's the least he could do.

Vaas looks over to you, and to the sunrise. “Are you tired, hermoso?” He asks, apparently taking in your exhausted appearance in his quick scan of you. It upsets you how nicely he sounds when he says that, like he’s only your soulmate and not also your captor.

You almost don't want to respond, because, f*ck him for everything, but you do anyway. “Tired is an understatement.” You tell him honestly, scrubbing a hand over your face and sighing when you feel the sandy grains staying behind from where your hand had been buried in the sand.

“I have a shower and a bed, if you want it.” He says, his eyes not leaving the sunset and ocean now.

If you weren't paying attention, his offer would be completely innocent. But you can sense the subtext in his words, the hidden meaning. Reading in between the lines you can tell he's planning something. Probably. “But…?” You prompt, staring at him.

Vaas turns his head towards you and his eyes meet yours, his eyebrows furrowed. “Are you asking me if there's some sort of catch?” He says, like it’s the most crazy thing in the world for you to assume it.

You nod, and feel your cheeks flush for some reason. Why was he making you embarrassed? Why did it matter if he misunderstood you? Why did you care about what he thought of you?

“There isn't a catch.” He deadpans, as if it should be obvious. “I was just trying to be nice, hermoso.” Vaas says, sounding incredibly hurt, and putting a small hand over his heart as if you had physically hurt him.

He seems sincere, and you hate that. It's easier to see through his obvious lies, his passive aggression that turned into real aggression. His display with your brother had shown you that. But this? This version of Vaas was so much harder to understand.

What would he even do if you did say no? You can imagine being dragged back to the cages, or better yet, a shallow grave if you pissed him off enough.

“...Okay.” You say, not feeling much like you had a choice in the matter.

His smile was like the cat that had gotten the canary. “Great.” Vaas says, and quickly stands up, extending his hand down to you. “Your palace awaits, princess.” He says overdramatically.

You begrudgingly take his hand and let him help you up. His hand is incredibly calloused, and you should've expected that for a gun slinging, knife wielding pirate. You're shaky on your feet, and he's quick to catch you at your waist before you go tumbling down back into the sand.

Instead, you tumble into his arms and all at once you wish you had been left in the cages, because looking into his eyes you can see he's attracted to you as he catches you and feels your body up against his.

You can also feel his, can feel the large muscles underneath his shirt and had this been any other man you might be attracted to that as well, but all you can feel when that happens is the fact he's much stronger than you are.

He could easily snap your arm or, perhaps if he were so inclined, your neck with a twist of his wrist. That scares the absolute shit out of you.

His smile is sweet if but a little flustered and you’re quick to pull back. He allows for it.

Vaas looks at you, and his smile grows into something almost sickeningly cute.. “That was like, uh, one of those Hollywood movie moments.” He says as a matter of fact and laughs as if any of this was funny. “If only we had a camera on us, no?” He offers, and jokingly pushes lightly into your shoulder.

You don’t laugh. In fact, you don't even respond other than a small nod.

“Man, you need to lighten up, hermoso.” He grumbles, his mood souring slightly. He continues to talk for you as he considers the possibilities of why you didn't laugh at his joke. “Maybe you're just tired, let's get you some sleep and we'll see how funny you think I am in the morning. C'mon." He motions his head, forward back to the camp. "Let's get some sleep."

You can tell there are a million things he wants to say, wants to talk about on the way back into the outpost. He doesn't say one to you, though. Choosing instead to allow for the comfortable silence to overcome you two.

You're thankful, because you don't know what you would even say to him.

What could there be to say? After all that he had put you through.

As every step you take gets you closer to the camp, you can't help but feel your heart quicken.

...You were extremely worried about what would happen the moment you stepped into camp.

[arthursclozapine]

REALLY long story pt1

TW lots of smut, attempted suicide, murder,

Blood Brothers

I was ashamed of the state he had found me in. He was Arthur, and I was just some harlot that roamed the streets of Gotham for fun. I stood looking out into the river from a bridge, tears streaming down my face. My plan was simple, and I then laughed at how easily it was to contemplate suicide in this moment. I lurched forward, leaning myself on the bars, attempting to climb up and over.

“You shouldn’t do that.” I heard a voice say. I turned quickly to see who disturbed me. A painfully thin man, holding a paper bag.

“Why not? You don’t know me.” I called back to the man.

“I’ve been there. It isn’t worth it. My mother always told me to smile and put on a happy face.” He chuckled.

“Just....... just let me be. No one loves me. No one knows me.” I said tearfully.

“I know you now.” He put a hand on my shoulder, and my sentimental ass turned and sobbed into this stranger’s chest. He held onto me, pulling me closer.

“Life isn’t easy, it’s what you make it.”

“So do you just randomly have these inspirational quotes on lock or what?” I jest. I smiled up at him.

“My name is Arthur. I’m glad I saw you when I did.” He spoke.

“Avis.” I introduced, and then we shook hands. I looked at him funny. I let him take took me to a motel, and that was the beginning of my downward spiral. He unlocked the door, and I went to sit on the bed.

“So......?” I questioned him. He turned to me with a Swiss Army knife.

“Are you serious?” I scoffed. Arthur chuckled.

“Dead serious.” He muttered. I laugh nervously as he slit his wrist. My eyes widened.

“Why did you—“ I began as he did the same to me. The wound stung like a thousand bees just bit me.

“Arthur what the hell?” I ask as he brings our cuts together, clasping fingers together.

“Now we’re blood brothers.” He smiled madly. I scoff.

“Im a girl.” I say to him.

“A part of me will always live in you.”

“This is the craziest thing that has ever happened to

me.” I say with a gasp.

“Promise me you’ll never kill yourself.”

“Dude this is too deep, I just met you.” I stood, pulling away from his arm. Then, I felt it. I felt him inside my head.

“Promise.” His soul said.

“Okay! Okay I promise! Just get out of my head!” I cry.

“What do you mean?” He asks, further making me struggle differentiating reality and imagination. I take a look at my arm, putting a finger in the cut to part the skin.

“Arthur. What have you done?” I asked.

“I have just saved your life.” He said, pulling the sleeve of the cut arm down, and gathering his things.

“So what? Just gonna leave me here now?” I cried out to him as he left. I followed but it was as if he disappeared in the fog.

“Arthur? Arthur, damnit!” I yelled. I wondered if anything actually just happened. I look down at the cut. Still there. My breath was erratic, and kept pulsing.

“I am still right here.”

I looked around, looking for Arthur.

“I’m not crazy! I know I’m not........” the cut was fully healed into a pale scar.

“What the...... what the f*ck?!?!!” I exclaimed.

“Don’t worry little magpie, I’ll always be right here.” I hear the voice, and I imagine the smile.

“You’re the only one who ever noticed me, and you gotta just leave like that?” I felt bad.

“We may meet in passing one day. I’m glad there is someone like you that notices me.” He cooed.

“Might as well go sleep. I bought the motel for a few days, you can stay there until then.” Arthur informed.

“Thank you, Arthur. I mean it. I owe you one.” I close my arms for warmth, returning to the motel.

Sunday.

I lay lazily on the bed, wearing some nice lingerie some guy bought me........

Okay, okay, a patron bought for me.

*knock knock knock*

I sigh, going to open the door.

It was Arthur! I perked up!

“Hey dude! The real Arthur! What brings you here?” I ask, hugging him.

“What do you mean— Nevermind.” Was his retort. As I pull away, I notice his eyes scan my body, and he stifled a little bit.

“Ohhhhh! Arthur likey?” I playfully shake my core. I really owed him, why not this way? The way I knew best. He was kinda cute.......... wouldn’t mind laying him down.

“Yula, no, I just— I just wanted to give you this.” He says, fumbling in his pockets. I put a hand on his shoulder.

“Artie, no, I can’t accept. I owe you too much.” I nod. He stares at me for a moment.

“Really?” He asks.

“Really really. Why not come inside for a bit?” I purred at him, guiding him inside by his jacket lapels.

I playfully threw him onto the bed.

“Avis........” he said.

“Yeah, what?” I mumbled, biting my lip and looking at his.

“I—I don’t think I can...... I just—“ I interrupted him by kissing him on the mouth. When I was finished, I pull away, our eyes sharing a look for a moment.

“Don’t worry. I’ll give you what you like.” I promise.

“After all, what are friends for?” I joked. He then looks down at himself, and my eyes followed, seeing his trousers tight with his erection. We pulled off each other’s clothing, now focused on getting each other off.

After all was done and done, we lay naked on the bed together, one of Arthur’s hands holding a cigarette and the other holding my hand.

“You fuck really good, you know?” I complemented. He took a long drag and chuckles.

“Believe it or not, but you’re actually my first.” He reveals.

“Get out. Really? I was surprised. He was nice, sweet, funny. Lots of stamina....... How could you let him pass you by?

“I thought you’d be crawling with babes!” I joked, making him laugh. I reach for a drag, and he hands me his cigarette. I had a little smoke, and gave it back to him.

“Will you stay for awhile? I just, like, miss you or whatever.......” I admitted, making me blush. He looked at me with a warm smile.

“Maybe for a bit.” He looks at the clock on the wall for a longer state than usual.

“Is there another?” I ask, feeling weirdly jealous.

“N-no! I just have to take care of my mother.” He mumbled shyly.

“Yeah right.... it’s ok if there’s someone else..” I felt warm tears building up.

“I’m serious. I have to take care of her. I have to.” Arthur sighed. I sniffled, smiling.

“So you’re a mommy’s boy, or something?” I joke, blinking back the tears, touching his cheek softly. Arthur laughed.

“I guess I must be.” He smiled, moving my face to kiss again. Something felt so real, so homely with Arthur, even if we were in a motel at the moment.

“Oh yeah, look what I have for you.” Arthur got up, putting his cigarette out, getting a paper bag.

“You can use this, or get rid of it. You need it more than I do.” He tossed the bag toward me.

“Ooooooh! Goodies from Artie!” I happily exclaimed, until I saw what was inside. I brought out a gun?!?!!!

“Why? How did you get this?” I exclaim.

Arthur just laughs.

“Did you use it yet? How come you have this?” I felt a rumble in my tummy. Butterflies flew as I imagine Arthur killing.

“Arthur, you’re insane!”

“It takes one to know one, baby.”

We both shared a laugh, Arthur coming back to sit on the bedside. He watched me and helped me as I tried to figure out how to use the gun. Lots of laughs ensued.

“Arthur this is nice and all, but I think you should have it. I’m a shit aim. I don’t want any blood on my hands.” I confess. I would do anything for Arthur, but killing isn’t for me.

“Ok then........ I should go soon, it’s almost time for Murray!” He said, getting his clothes back on. I wrapped myself in a blanket.

“See you, Arthur. Have fun, don’t get lost.” I jested. He laughs as he leaves.

“Alone again.” I mumbled to myself.

Weeks pass, and he keeps paying for my room and visiting. You know what I’m talking about. Love is all that I had to give.

One night, I popped a serious question.

“Are we together, or something?” I mused to him. He looked at me for a long time.

“Like, boyfriend and girlfriend?” I moved closer to him.

“I think we’re more than that now.” He takes a drag of his cigarette.

“What’s that mean?” I ask, he takes me by my wrist, kinda hard. I flinch a bit.

“We are one. I’m in you, and you’re in me.” He mutters. I didn’t fear anyone other than him this time.

“Okay.....”

“Never forget that.” He chuckled. He sure changes moods fast....... something I admired about him.

There was no one like him. He was strong. Emotionally soft. I can’t deny the way he has me by my heart.

Friday evening.

“Can we go out on the town? Pretty please?” I asked. He smiled and nodded at me.

“Don’t worry, I have some really nice clothes here. I’ll look real fancy, just for you. Who do you want me to be?” I questioned, showing velvet, silk, and cashmere dresses in front of my form for him to see.

“I guess we could. That’d be lots of fun.” He said. I squealed with happiness and excitement.

“But, I don’t have anything nice to wear.” He face seemed down then.

“I’ve got the dough! I’ll take ya to a nice tailor, pick you up something dazzlin!”

“I couldn’t, Avis.”

“Please? For me?” I pout. He crooked his mouth, and shook his head.

“Only this once. I don’t feel right using your money.” He mutters.

“Yes! Cha-ching! We’ll be the hottest couple in Gotham!” I exclaimed. Arthur blushes.

“What’s the matter, you don’t agree?”

“Well, there’s also the fact that I’m me.” He looked sad.

“All the more to celebrate! Come on, let’s go! I’m starving!”

In a matter of time, Arthur donned a crimson red suit, and I matched in red velvet. We walked downtown, me holding onto his arm. We looked striking. We were immortal in this exact moment. As long as our blood flowed, we lived.

I was happy to be alive. With him. Anything and everything I wanted. He open fired on my heart. We entered a classy dark venue. On stage, a female crooner serenaded the audience.

🎶 Hide your heart from sight, lock your dreams at night

It could happen to you🎶

“Oh wow, this is nice!” I felt the velvet seats we sat on.

“Real, real classy, I can’t believe we could afford this.....” I admired, resting a hand on his thigh. He stifled a laugh.

“Wanna hear a joke? We can’t.” He laughed some more. Soon, we were being escorted out.

“Spineless bastard swine!!!! We hated it! Every second was as boring as the last!! And don’t get me started on the entertainment!” I spit at the guards.

“Let’s just get out of here.....” Arthur pulled me along.

“They can’t treat us like this!” I protest.

“Better get used to it, like I have.” Arthur walked ahead.

“Artie, I’m sorry. I just hate it. I’m sick and tired of being treated worse than the garbage on these wretched streets!” I chase after him, back to the hotel. He sprawled himself on the bed.

“Let me make it up to you, please?” I offer, crawling next to him.

“Nothing can redeem this evening.” He mutters.

“Are you sure? Like, really sure?” I tried to entice him.

He just lit a cigarette, and laid there, looking up at the ceiling. I felt his bulge, really stroked it, and made my way up to give him kisses. He struggled to maintain composure, finally breaking it by taking my face and kissing me rough. He sat upright quickly, throwing off the suit and helping me out of my fancy dress. I loved every moment. He let me ride him, both of us kissing and moaning loudly. Again we laid naked side by side, enjoying the afterwave of a raging climax. He lit up a cigarette. I moved over to him, hugging him. He turned toward me and hugged back.

“Arthur........ I love you.” I whispered. He laughs.

“Arthur! I’m being real! I really mean it!” I retort. He says and does nothing.

“I want to spend my life with you........” I admit. I knew what he was gonna say.

“I know, I know, we barely know each other, but I can’t deny the feeling of when we’re together. Home. I know it’s sounds really stupid and cheesy, but I’ve never felt this way with literally anyone before.” I looked into his eyes.

“Let’s get married. Start a family—” I mused as he shot a glare, which caught me completely off guard.

“No kids. Never. I won’t allow myself to let you down.” I didn’t know this Arthur. I suppress my fear, and wondered about the times I let him hit it raw. I wouldn’t dare say it to his face though.

“I just don’t know what I’d become.” He softened, moving hair from on my face.

“Darling, never mention this again. It hurts to imagine what would happen to me if....... you know.” He explained, stroking my cheek softly.

“Okay, okay. I won’t. It wasn’t exactly a dream to me, I just want to make you to stay.” I admit.

“We can never be apart. I’m alive inside you. As long as you breath, and live, I’m there, my love.”

My love

I kiss him on the mouth softly, feeling the sand start to fill my eyes. He lazily kisses me back, his heavy arms resting on my body. We cuddle and curled into a ball and let ourselves sleep. I prayed that this wasn’t a dream, and not sleep bringing us back to reality.

I woke up early, not moving anything but my eyes.

Arthur sat in the sun, still nude, listening to the radio quietly. How could I have gotten so........lucky? Blessed?

Glory filled my life ever since him.

I didn’t want to disturb him. I shifted a little and sighed, trying to seem asleep. I strained my ear to hear what he was listening.

🎶 We passed upon the stair

We spoke of was and when

Although I wasn't there

He said I was his friend🎶

Was that Bowie? I could kinda hear the voice. I gained the confidence to wake in front of him. I stretched, watching his every move.

“Hey, make some coffee will ya?” I greet. He turns with a soft smile on his face.

“I was thinking..... let’s do brunch?” He offers.

“Brunch on a Saturday? You’re a day early, daddy.” I quipped. He looked at me funny.

“What’d you call me?”

“Daddy. Why, you hate it?”

“No. Far from it.” He grinned that grin, the one which melts my panties off. I’m joking, but it also wasn’t exactly untrue.

We both get dressed, then out for brunch.

“Nice place. I like it. Nice vibes.” I comment as we walked into the iHop.

“What ya gonna have? Pancakes? Or what else? Oh, look, more pancakes.” I quipped.

“Look, if you want we could just lea—“

“I’m joking! Pancakes will make do!” I remarked.

We both just ordered what we first saw when we opened the menu.

“Nice. Banana split pancakes. Can’t wait.”

“I’m gonna go with....... hot cakes. With strawberries, please.” Arthur orders. The waitress wrote it down and left.

“Thanks.” He calls after the waitress.

“What a b*tch. I seen the way she looked at me.” I mumbled. Someone was losing a head today.

“What are you talking about? She probably looked like that to everyone here.”

“I want to go. Now.” I growled. Arthur sighed, a completely different sounding sigh than I was used to.

“Okay, okay.” Arthur obliges me. We get up, but I wasn’t very happy yet. We just happened to run into the b*tch herself.

“This is an ihop, not some fancy shmancy wine and dine, lighten up.” I retorted while Arthur was trying his best to drag me out without any conflict. We went out into the street.

“Avis. What the hell?” Arthur was genuinely pissed at me, I could tell. My eyes well up with tears and I felt my face contorting into a ugly crying mode.

“Babe, don’t cry. I’m sorry I just....... look, I’ll make it up to you.” He hugged me tightly.

“I guess you can’t take me anywhere now, I just cause trouble.” I mumble as we both walk down the street.

“My favourite kind of trouble, though.” Arthur smirked. He never fails to put a smile on my face when I’m sad and down.

“Arthur, you’re so good to me.” I say quietly to him, rubbing the scar overtop my clothes. He notices, and pats his scar back, smiling mischievously.

Our secret.

We walked and walked until we found a tiny cafe in the wall. They played Al Bowlly. This is what drew Arthur to stay for a bit. He went to the jukebox, waving me over. I came to him, and he put out his hand to dance.

🎶 Midnight brought us sweet romance

I know all my whole life through

I'll be remembering you

Whatever else I do🎶

We danced. When it was over, we danced some more.

Arthur lead me to a table in the corner, when suddenly—

“Here you two lovebirds are. On the house.” The elderly barista said, handing us cups of coffee.

“Why?” I ask, looking into the cup.

“Was refreshing to see people use that old junk of a jukebox! Enjoy!” The barista went back to cleaning the bar.

“Sweet! What are the odds of that, huh?”

“Lucky us.” Arthur mused.

“What’s up? You seem kind of sad.” I question.

“Lost my job a few days ago.” His voice was sullen.

“What?!?! Why?” I say with concern.

“Dropped this.” He places a gun on the table, a frown on his face. I gasped.

“Shit, Arthur...I felt my heart, and certain other regions ache. Arthur shook his head, smiling lightly at my enthusiasm. Or so I think.

“You don’t strike me as a criminal, Artie. Did you kill anybody?” I jest.

“No. Not yet.” He said,

“There’s only one thing left to do.” He pushes the gun to me.

“Me? What the hell? You want me to do what, kill you?” I inquired, hating that thought. He laughs.

“Don’t be silly. I’m going to kill my boss. Bastard deserves to rot in hell.” Arthur grimaced. I hated this look on him.

“Okay, okay. I’ll help.” I agree.

“Good little girl. I know his schedule, we will meet him in the parking lot across from my old workplace. We will proceed on Monday. Get your hopes up, there will be blood.”

Monday evening.

We donned our clown masks, wearing suspiciously neat clothing. We hid behind some cars as we waited.

“There he is!” Arthur pilled me up, and looked at the victim. An old dude who clearly had no idea he dressed too much for work in a clownery.

“Arthur? Bastard! You are the killer clown that’s on the

los—“ Arthur shout him in the throat. He laughed manically. I joined in.

“Your turn, honey! Finish for daddy!” Arthur yelled to me. No words could describe how turned on I was. I shot at the boss, in the stomach.

“The head! The bastard’s head!” Arthur was on his power trip now.

“I can’t. I told you I’m a shit aim!” I explain as he grabbed the gun from my hand and shot the boss through the temple. His blood pooled and brains scattered on the ground.

“Let’s get the hell out of here. Now.” He ordered, lighting up a cigarette. I blew a raspberry at the dead guy ask passed. We walked down the street, down a back alley, and found a barrel fire. We threw our plastic masks away. Now, we were heading home.

“I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed that you are the killer clown! You’re practically famous— well Infamous, I guess.” I marvelled.

“Keep it down, there are eyes and ears everywhere.”

“Shucks, sorry.” I apologise.

When we got in, I kissed him on the mouth.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to do this!” I purr, getting down on my knees. He looks down at me, automatically taking his trousers off. I took him in my mouth, stroking and sucking on him. He tosses his head back, groaning. I keep at it, happy I’ve pleased him in all ways than one.

(A/N: I do not know how dicks work so go easy on me pls)

He quickly finished, into my mouth. He didn’t last as long as he used to, or maybe I was just getting better at pleasing him? Only he knows. I then swallowed up his cum.

“Good girl.” Arthur strokes my head, lifting me up and putting me on the bed. It was strange how quickly our relationship turned kinky, but I really liked it. Really really.

“Anything for you, sir.” I coped at him. He squeezed my lips together with one hand.

“Anything?” He taunted.

“Yes, sir. Anything.” I gave him seductive eyes.

“Play with yourself. On the bed. Now.” He growled. I felt myself getting wetter. I sit, looking into his eyes without breaking contact, spreading for him. I put my fingers on my clit and rubbed. I imagined him in me. It wasn’t fair to have him here in the flesh and him not doing anything to satisfy us. Me.

“How does it feel, pumpkin?” He asked. I bit my lip.

“Really really good sir.” I remembered him aiming his gun and shooting his boss, and I was almost cumming.

I screamed his name as I finished, squirting on the bed. Arthur laughed slowly.

“Look at my messy girl!” Arthur remarks, as he sits next to me.

“Ready for round 2?” He asked as he stuck his fingers in me. I moaned so loud. I felt him pressing on my g-spot, and his thumb circling my overstimulated clit.

“Ah, fuck, Artie......” I said weakly.

“You like that, baby girl? You like it when daddy touches you? When you let him fuck your tight pussy?”

(A/N: SORRY if this is cringe I don’t know how to talk dirty lmao. Can you tell I’m a virgin lmaffffooo)

“More than anything in the world!” I exclaimed, gasping with pleasure. I look down at his groin, noticing he too was ready for round 2. He takes off his pants, wearing only his shirt.

He thrusts in and out of me, and I revel how good we fit together. How each stroke sent waves and waves of spasms throughout my body. It was so much. I ached and begged him to let me cum.

“Come one baby, cum for daddy.” He groaned, and as I came again. As he pulled out, some of his cum leaked out of me. I worried about getting knocked up. Arthur would leave me.

“Why such a serious face, Avis?” He questioned with a small smile. I couldn’t tell him. He would be so mad.........

“Just thinking. It’s nothing, really.” I smiled gleefully.

[ifninomiko]

[Rev] The New Mutants #87: Cable Arrives

11 more issues until we get to Deadpool.  At least we have a plot to keep us warm.

Also, Cable.  Look at him.  This is the second time we see him and already he has given up on wearing a shirt.

The future is a naked place.

The mysterious group of costume wearing weirdos strikes again!  The MLF!

Right off the bat the art doesn't make as good an impression and I'm going to blame that on the colorist, who is now Mike Rockwitz.  It's not that he's bad so much as his synergy with Rob Liefeld is not as good as Glynis Wein.

Let's be real, I have to turn off my art brain to read this.  Just accept it, self:  Marvel art in the 90s was bad. 

This is the second research station the MLF hit and we get a nice summary of who all our costumed weirdos are and their powers.  Two of them are rocking the exact same eye look. 

[Huh.  I wonder if this is how Deadpool eventually gets his mask eyes what with this panda eyed villain thing Rob Liefeld has going on.]

The MLF are here to blow things up, just like they promised, but the bomb is busted, so Thumbellina shrinks to fix it.

Without the writer narrating what's going on, I'd be completely lost.

The timer starts.

The MLF gets out of dodge and a shirtless stranger appears!

Honestly, Mr. McGlowey Eye's timing could not be worse.

The place explodes.

...

Whelp.  Cable's only been here for four panels and he's already dead.

Yep.

...

WHAT IN THE F*CK, COMIC!?!?

... and on that, we have a scene skip.

The New Mutants are in Asgard feasting.

Meh.  I don't really care about Asgard and it feels weirdly out of place in an X-Men book to me, but whatever.   Guys, your friends need you.  They need you so hard.

But never fear, for a deus ex machina fairy appears!

This is the second unexpectedly fine ass in so many issues.  First the Vulture, now this tiny deus ex machina fairy.  Zounds.  

Deus ex machina fairy is here to deus ex, for she has brought a vial of magical solutions and a map!

Everybody party like it’s 1999!  Except it’s 1990.

I’m don’t even know why I should care about you lot yet, but we’re finally moving this Asgard plot along.  Hallelujah!

Scene skip.

Finally, the things #86 made me care about.

Rusty and Skids are in Freedom Force’s hospital in Washington, DC. 

Wow, Freedom Force is beginning to sound really legit.  This isn’t some weird black ops site, this is actually in the capital.

Rusty is out cold, but Skids is catching up on the news and getting generally upset that Freedom Force turned the tables on them.  We get info dumped the highlights of the previous issue along with Skids and then Mystique shows up.

Once again, the nineties cartoon says this is a villain ... and when you’re wearing skulls around your waist and on your forehead, people have to make certain assumptions.

Mystique is here to interrogate Skids and thicken the plot.  I’m loving this plot.

She wants to know why Skids and Rusty are important to the MLF, but Skids doesn’t know anything about that.

Turns out Rusty and Skids were in prison because they know important things and now Mystique will keep them prisoner to keep the MLF from finding out what those important things are.

I’d like to know what those important things are.  Don’t leave me hanging!

Scene skip.

afjhakjfheiuawhtiuewhrlu!!!!

Get back to the good plot!

Stop cock blocking me with this Asgard nonsense! 

Primus’ mighty steel bearings on a spike!

Argh.  Fine.  Primus.

The New Mutants say their goodbyes to their friends in Asgard.  I guess they’re leaving Dani behind because she’s a Valkyrie now?

They board the good ship Warlock, who exists to be a plot convenience, and sail off for home. 

That rainbow bridge is still spewing broken chunks.  The universe is just going to have to

Holy foreshadowing Batman!  There will probably be a fight! 

Since they’re heading right through the dimension of the mindless ones on their way home.

Scene skip to dun dun dun! 

Stryfe!!!!  Head of the Mutant Liberation Front and possessor of the second worst fashion sense in all of Marvel. [The first worst is Cable.]

Seriously, dude, did you dream this outfit up when you were fifteen and sulking in your bedroom because your dad wouldn’t let you party?

Those are nipples on your armor.  You have an extended loin guard.  Then there are the spikes.  Your teenage dreams of highlighting your assets haven’t worked quite like you hoped.

Topping it off we have your name ... I mean, honestly.  Just call yourself Lord Voldemort.  It would be more subtle.

You were 115% more cool when you were sitting in a chair impersonating Dr. Claw and waiting for your cat to arrive.

[Left image from The New Mutants #98 and the right from Villains Wiki]

Still, despite his flaws, Stryfe is more fearsome than Nitro, so our villains have improved.

The US government has refused to give in to the terrorist demands of the MLF (no surprise there), so Stryfe has decided to attack Freedom Force directly and just take Rusty and Skids.

Uh oh.

It also seems that Rusty and Skids are just a smokescreen to the MLF’s real plan.

Except no one will tell me what the real plan is.

Wildside reasonably points out that Rusty and Skids aren’t going to come peacefully. 

Stryfe decides to deal with his insubordination by going old school and choking a bitch. 

Thumbellina and Wildside are kept behind by Stryfe and the rest of the MLF head out to invade Freedom Force and capture Rusty and Skids.

Just as I wonder why they couldn’t just teleport inside, they conveniently explain that Zero can’t teleport places he’s never been by complaining about it.

The exposition in this issue is really top notch. I like this method of explaining things.  A++

As they charge the gate, Cable magically shows up!

What. In. The. Hell.

HOW?!?!

Hi, I got exploded and all that happened was the reddening of my eye scar!

Not only that, but he knows where the MLF was going to strike!

Mysterious dude who has only just arrived ... how do you know?!?!?!  How did you survive that explosion?!

Before we can get any real answers, we’re punished with a scene skip!

Not these losers again! 

Can we just go back to the good plot?

The New Mutants are coasting through dimensions on their way home.

I’m glad they have such faith in their friends.  Who are captured.  And all alone.  ABANDONED.

Just as they’re about to exit the wormhole, they’re attacked!

Did I or did I not say they were going to be attacked?

The mindless ones attack the ship and everyone fights back. Everyone gets to show off their powers as they fight except for Rahne.  As they defeat the mindless ones, they figure after all this excitement that ordinary school life might be boring.

Spoiler alert, guys:  The Xavier Institute is always getting destroyed.  Boredom is never your problem.

Scene skip back to the good stuff!!

The MLF have fought their way to a control room and are checking the computer for Rusty and Skids.

Cable sneaks up behind them and starts shooting!

Attacks from the back and still manages to hit Tempo in the chest.

Comic physics does not make sense.

The fight is on!

... despite his sneak attack, Cable still gets his aft handed to him by everyone.

Reaper hits him with his paralyzing neural disrupter, but he still manages to give him a knock out punch.

Then Strobe jumps him.  He catches her, but she melts his hand, putting him down for the count.

I think Cable is going to be dead TWICE in this issue. 

Who exactly has the healing power again??

Right then, scene skip!

I give up.  This issue is just going to scene skip every time something interesting is happening.

The New Mutants arrive home and exposition to us about the broader plot.  The X-Men are gone and X-Factor is missing, leaving the New Mutants to bear the torch that is Xavier’s dream. 

I could give all of zero f*cks about Xavier’s dream right now.  Rusty and Skids are about to be kidnapped and Cable just got himself killed ... again.

... and Warlock’s art always looks weirdly out of place.  I can’t get over the constant stripey yellow and black. 

SCENE SKIP AGAIN.  OH MY PRIMUS I WILL EXPLODE.

Whelp.  Those are Cable’s legs.  There on the right side.  He done got himself shot.  Now he’s dead.

Again.

Strobe burns through the floor to Rusty and Skids room.

There are guards there, ready to shoot Rusty and Skids if they try to escape.  Plot twist, though, since the guards have their orders not from Freedom Force but from someone higher up than them.

The MLF comes down through the ceiling.  The guards shoot at them.  Skids tries to protect Rusty, but the guards turn their guns on him.

With Rusty shot, Strobe gets between the kids and the guards and melts the guards’ bullets.  Skids asks her why the MLF cares and Strobe says that the kids are a symbol of the injustice visited upon mutant kind by regular humans.

She gives Skids a choice:  to come with them or face their termination order.

Faced with only bad choices and Rusty’s life on the line, Skids makes the choice to go with the MLF.

The scene skips twice on the last page.

I don’t even.

As the New Mutants float over the bay, X-Factor’s ship suddenly falls out of the sky!  Warlock flies to the rescue!

Scene skip!

Back at Freedom Force hospital ... Cable survived!

I guess that the MLF can’t aim, not even at close range.  Or they hit every metal part on his body and nothing else.

Now Cable is in the custody of Freedom Force.

He’s a slippery devil, it seems.  With a dossier a mile long.

I think we can also assume that he is smug as hell.  Just look at how he sprawls in the bastion of the enemy.

Next issue:  Stuff happens!

Meanwhile, Rusty and Skids are still missing!  It’s time to start the clock. Rusty & Skids Are Still Missing Comic Clock: 3 days Rusty & Skids Are Still Missing Real Time Clock: 1 month

Final Word:

Art aside, #87 forwards the plot that I care about despite all the scene skips. It fleshes out the MLF, which is nice, and we get Cable.  He is not at all effective ... but he is difficult to kill.  So that’s something at least.

I think it’s worth the $1.99, but only if you like Cable or have read #86.

Previous Review:  The New Mutants #86

[cosmiciaria]

Persona 3 PS2 and PSP consoles Review! (Spoiler free)

Persona 3 may very well be my favorite game on Earth, so this review is going to be nothing but PRAISE (except for one tiny complaint I have). But, hey, you may question, which Persona 3 is your favorite? Because, we have, like, two Persona 3. And that's right, folks: the original Persona 3 for the PS2 (and its expansion, FES), and the Persona 3 Portable for the PSP, released about four years later and after Persona 4 (and I say all this because the portable version adds MANY changes that were introduced in P4). I've played both, and now I'll elaborate on which I believe is the best version of the game and why.

But first, let's talk about Persona series for a bit. It's a spin off titles series from the main Shin Megami Tensei franchise, you know, those RPGS that are hard as hell, and whose normal mode is actually hard mode on every other game, and whose hard mode is actually chaos mode on every other game, and you get to negotiate with demons and recruit them into your party and… yeah, yeah, those games! Well, guess what: in Persona games, you don't fight demons, you fight shadows, and the demons you used to negotiate with in the SMT games, are now summons that you, Almighty High-Schooler Speshual Snowflake Main Character, can bring forth to fight evil and stuff. Pretty amazing, tho!

Persona 3 may be the darkest of the Persona Series. I can't personally speak for the first two Personas (I've read Persona: Revelations manga, to see where it all began, and tried to play Persona 2, but… don't kill me… I didn't… like the gameplay much… and the random encounters… and… well, you get me… although I know what happens at the end). Characters here must shoot their heads with a gun-like tool to summon their Personas, as if they have to break something inside of them to call them forth. People can transform into shadows, in a very, very gross way. The game revolves around 'death', and it's a tragedy after a tragedy after a tragedy. Not even the shiest and most sunshine character has a happy backstory. It's all about tears, sacrifice and effort. AND THAT'S AWESOME!

So, the story remains largely the same among the two versions of the game. However (and this is a big 'however') there are BIG changes from P3 FES to P3P.

In the original Persona 3 and its expansion for the PS2, you can only play as the Male Protagonist. People have been calling him Minato Arisato (like in the manga), but with the arrival of the movies, his name has shifted to Makoto Yuki, and I'll call him Makoto from now on in order to differentiate him more easily from the other Main Protagonist I'll speak in a second about.

So, Makoto's story is the canon one.  He's the one appearing in the Labyrithin… Q… or… however that game's name is written, for the 3DS, a crossover between Persona 3 and Persona 4. He's also the character referenced in Persona 4 Arena and Arena Ultimax (you know, when P3 characters say things like 'you remind me of him…'). He's the guy in the movies, yes, the boy with blue hair and lost light blue eyes. He's kinda the silent protagonist we're used to in SMT games, the cool and collected character, who everyone loves and you don't know why, because he barely opens his mouth throughout the story… hey, I'm not hating on him. In fact, I enjoyed playing as him: he's the noble type, the one who would go all out to save others. I did like him better in the movies, I won't lie: they made him funnier there, somehow aloof but in a hilarious way, and he even laughs, which made me go like 'woah, wait'.

I did have a problem with him, and it's that I've played the original version of the game after finishing the P3P version. And I found myself angry. You know, in Persona games, there's this mechanic called 'Social Links' (Cooperation I think they're called in Persona 5, and in Persona 2 they were just conversations during battles), which is a big aspect of the gameplay. They're events you can have with certain characters, with whom you can build a relationship: a friendly one, or a romantic one. It turns out, I didn't enjoy Makoto's Social Links at all. Except for the one with Mitsuru (NOTICE ME SENPAI), the other Social Links felt pointless, and added little to no character development for the characters we did have genuine interest for. The thing is that these Social Links work also as a love mechanic thing, similar to light novels in Japan, and Makoto could only have Social Links with her female party members, and Atlus forgot about the male party members that, you know, ARE IMPORTANT TO THE STORY AS WELL AND NEED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT TOO!!

Aside from the Social Link's troubles, the PS2 version of the game is harder. Harder in the 'I won't make it easy for you, player' way. I'm not talking about difficulties, I'm talking about the aspects of the dungeon crawling. Tartarus is your main tower dungeon and the only place in which you'll fight shadows, and it has over 250 floors. The game won't remember the last floor in which you've trained, so the only way of advancing through the tower is accessing and activating the big teleport points (THE BIG ONES, NOT THE SMALL ONES) that are scattered every ten or twelve floors, and that precede the mini floor boss. You'll say: hey, it's fine, I can do ten floors each night I go to Tartatus, but you know what? Your characters can get easily tired, and they won't fight as good as you'd like to, and if you go back to the first floor to replenish your health and spirit points, they will leave your party because you're a bastard who has overdone them, poor little souls! So, if you were expecting to completely grind ten floors each night, you're gonna have a bad time. The best strategy is to avoid shadow-contact for as many floors as you can (that involves running around looking for the staircase to go up in a maze without touching a single shadow) and once Fuuka tells you that you're about to arrive to a big force or whatever the hell she senses, start training: it means the big teleport thing is just two or three floors above you. That was how I got through the freaking Tower of Demise, f*ck it.

But that's not just it! In the PS2 version you can't control your party members, you just control Makoto. You can give them orders though: to heal/support, to go all out without minding their health, to wait because sometimes they're useless as hell or won't help you defeat the monster… but it's still very random. When you give them the order to heal, you have to pray to Zeus that they heal the character you're expecting to be healed. Sometimes they'd heal one of them instead of Makoto, and guess what, Makoto's the one who has to survive, because when he dies, YES, it's game over! But maybe they thought that saving Junpei was more important! AREN'T VIDEOGAMES FUN?

The same goes for any other order. You hope they use magic, but instead they go for melee attacks and that kind of stuff. It can get really frustrating, but it's also really strategic: you have to make the most of every order you give, and also hope that Makoto doesn't fall or gets hit by his weakness, because that's a wasted turn in which the other characters will go on with the previous orders given that may be not useful anymore.

Speaking of wasted turns… yes, characters can fall by getting hit by their weaknesses or by a critical hit, and you'll have to wait one turn for them to stand up again and be useful, that if they don't fall AGAIN. Fun, fun, fun.

All of these ‘bad’ (let’s just say that they are uncomfortable) features… are not present in the Portable version. They took the best things they could get from Persona 4 and dumped them into this new version of the game: you are now in full control of your characters; you can still give them orders, but you can give also the 'direct commands', which lets you play as them. Tartarus now remembers the last floor you've been to, so it's not a fight against time and the tiredness of your characters anymore. They no longer waste a turn when they fall: as soon as you regain control of them, they stand up and are ready to fight. The 'tired' status doesn't affect them much anymore: they can only get tired once you leave Tartarus, so you can train all you want and screw their bodies out of them, because you're the leader and you can choose when to leave the dungeon, motherfrickers! The only drawback is that your health and spirits points won't replenish if you go back to the first floor, but I believe it's a small price to pay.

So, now, I'm done with complaining about poor blue Makoto. It's not his fault that his Social Links are dull (most of them, others are… quite interesting if you know what I mean), and that his gameplay in the PS2 version hates on the player. It's time to introduce the other Main Protagonist, who appears in the Portable version: the Female Protagonist.

The Fem Prot was given also two names: the first one was Hamuko, which I believe derives from the Japanese and it has something to do with the word 'female'. But if you don't quite dig that name, she's been also called Minako Arisato by fans, the counterpart of Makoto's manga name. I'm going for Minako here, because that was the first name I saw of her and I kinda like it more than Hamuko.

Minako’s story is not canonical, and that hits me right my heart, because many, MANY things were done better in her playthrough. The game story remains the same: a bunch of high-schoolers must go every night to Tartarus to wipe out the world from the shadows menace, yadda, yadda, yadda… but it's her Social Links that make the difference. Now that we have a female protagonist, Atlus remembered that the party had also male members and… yes! We get to go on a date with Akihiko Sanada! 10/10 recommend love the game see ya.

Alright, let's be serious: I don't know why Makoto didn't get Social Links with the male party members, like they did with Yu Narukami in Persona 4. It helps the player to connect with the characters, to learn from them, to love them. But it just didn't happen with Makoto, and it's a shame. They did do it with Minako, though, and it was perfect, even if you don't plan on romanticize their relationships. It adds a lot of depth to characters that deserved it: Akihiko, Ken, Shinjiro, Junpei. Don't tell me that everything that happened later with these dorks didn't have more impact hadn't it been for these Social Links. I just love the friendship between Minako and Junpei, that brother/sister kind of thing. It made me want to have Junpei as a friend, whereas in Makoto's story, Junpei came across as this stupid boy who can't tell an apple from a strawberry. And ALSO, ALSOOO you can now have an SL with Koromaru, the best dog in the whole damn universe!!! WITH A DOG!!! YOU CAN BE FRIENDS WITH A DOG, HOW COOL AND CUTE IS THAT FOR F*CK’S SAKE? TAKE THAT, MAKOTO! 

There's also a certain Social Link (I won't spoil it for you) that you MUST do at all costs because it adds SO MUCH to the story in general, and makes everything, EVERYTHING ten times sadder. UGH, I can't believe they didn't put this SL in Makoto's storyline!!

So, it's true! Minako's story is better! It's better presented, it was better implemented, and gameplay wise, it's as cool as it gets. So, yeah. Persona 3 Portable with the Female Protagonist is my favorite game in the world. The ending is so much more impactful with her than with him, and I spent the last hour of the game crying my heart out because everything was so unfair and I felt empty inside. And the music… the music is majestic. I still listen to Memories of You and I get goosebumps, and don't get me started with Memories of School or The Poem for Everyone's Souls… oh, my, is that something in my eye…?

You can still play as Makoto in the Portable version, but I highly recommend that, if you've already play the original game, you should give Minako a shot. It will give you new a perspective on things, and it will add many plot points you'll be glad to have known. Even though her story is not canonical *cries in a corner*. Just look at Akihiko, look at the handsome guy, and everything will be ok.

I would've given P3P a 10 out of 10, had it not been for one tiny thing towards the end of the game. In the Persona Series, you accompany your character during a whole year. Well, during December in this game (both PS2 and Portable versions), there's nothing to do. No Social Links, no people, no activities, no missions, no Tartarus. It's just you leaving school for you dorm and getting back to sleep and do everything all over again the next day, for many days. It's annoying, it's repetitive, it feels like you're wasting time, PRECIOUS time, because everything in this game is about time and days, and you feel betrayed by the gameplay. But that's just it.

So, what's the best version? Let me summarize for ya:

Ps2 version: original experience, only male protagonist, mostly uninteresting or little impactful Social Links, pretty decent ending, gameplay annoying/strategic af. You also get to play in 3D environments, which is the reason why many people feel put off by the other version.

Portable version: improved experience, male and female protagonist, fem's Social Links quite interesting and meaningful, 'I got an RPG freaking sad ending in my eye' type of ending, gameplay improved for more enjoyment and less whining, more difficulties levels to choose from. BUT, everything's on a 2D environment, like light novels. Characters appear as portraits instead of 3D models, except for Tartarus, which is the only place where you'll see your characters in a poor 3D, due to hardware limitations.

So there you have it. Choose what you like the most. You can always play both versions and have your own opinion of it. In any way, Persona 3 is a great, great game, with great ideas, great gameplay and great and relatable characters. And with the best soundtrack in the world. And you get to summon a f*cking giant penis with an OP spell, guys, just name another game that lets you do that. 

So it should be a 9 out of 10 for the Portable version, and a 7 out of 10 for the PS2 version. Go check this game out (if you haven't yet) before Persona 5 arrives! It’s a meaningful experience, and I hope it changes your perspective of RPGS, like it did for me.