#He's literally zaphod beeblebrox which means hes loads of fun for like an hour and then I'm fighting the urge to murder him

[cctinsleybaxter]

Selected Bar Quotes From My Friend That Led To Me Ordering Another Pint And Also Wanting To Die

“I should buy some jeggings”

“Better get a stick shift because we’re coming in clutch”

“Anyway a run in with the cops was always on my to-do list so 6 months probation seems reasonable” -literally, I am not kidding, seconds later- “O fuck we gotta go to the weed store I want edibles for my plane ride”