#He's had an .. Xciting day :] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jojo-fantasy-aus · 3 years

Text

Fantasy AU!

Josuke x F! Reader- ch9

It takes two!

Minor TW for bullying.

Can't wait to see ya'll next week!

"So," Josuke starts. "What did you have in mind?" Shigetchi smiles, almost vibrating in excitement. You were all seated comfortably in the carriage, promptly entering when Shigetchi asked you to, and unfortunately, Shigetchi had a bit of a rambling habit. Finally, after a few minutes on the road to his villa, he stopped talking long enough for Josuke to get a word in.

"I'm throwing a party this weekend." Shigetchi paused as if he was expecting immediate praise, but the carriage was silent. Okuyasu whistled and started to clap out of pity.

"... anyway." Shigetchi rolled his eyes. " I thought it'd be a better fit for the three of you to gain some leverage on the whole rescue situation. Viscount Brimsey, his family, and his colleagues all will be attending." Your face scrunched up in disgust.

"Family?" The Viscount has only one family member to speak of. His daughter, a redhead named Gwendolyn, was intolerable. Just like her father, she was a Royal suck-up, only she was more of a spoiled brat than her father. Shigetchi nodded.

"Yeah. I'm not too 'xcited about that. His daughter's always been a… well," You frowned.

"Trust me, I know. She used to visit the palace during her summer vacations." That, and pay the stable boys to put mud under your pillows. She's always been a rather jealous thing, and you can't imagine how well a future meeting would go without Yukako by your side to defend you from the Royal menace. Okuyasu scratched the back of his neck, looking quite confused.

"What's so bad about her? I thought all those rich ladies are supposed to be hot, and well mannered, and..." You couldn't help yourself from laughing. Where in the world would he get that idea? Josuke sighed out of embarrassment, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Okuyasu, You've been reading too many newspapers." You giggled. Josuke's warm smile was a welcome sight at the action.

Shigetchi stretched widely, causing Okuyasu to shift uncomfortably next to him. He snatched a fancy flask from the inside of his coat pocket, taking a swig of something you hoped wasn't alcohol before shoving it away again. You could feel Josuke stiffen next to you. Wonder what was up with him?

"Anyway, if the three of you are up for it, I have jobs for you that I think will work perfectly for the information you're looking for." He smirks in an almost evil way. "What do ya say?"

----

"I can't believe you agreed to this." You muttered in a playful tone. All the jobs Shigetchi assigned to you were fitting, you as a server once again, Okuyasu as the guard just outside the doors, but out of all the jobs for him to give Josuke…

Apparently, he had caught Gwendolyn's eye while the three of you had been traversing the town over the past few days. Unfortunately for him, (and you) she had asked Shigetchi about him. After a little conversation with undoubtedly some bribery involved He agreed to get Josuke to be her escort. That's how you found out the real reason the kid had "invited" You all.

"She can't be that bad." You shook your head as you buttoned Josuke's borrowed tailcoat. He had no clue about this woman. He also had no clue on how to dress himself properly in such formal fashion, which was why you demanded to help him with his many layers. Honestly, it felt good to be this close to him.

"Oh please, she's like your worst date experience times ten."

"... well, I'm sure I'll be able to handle her." You rolled your eyes.

"Maybe. Rich girls like that tend to fall easily for a handsome face," Did you just say that out loud? Josuke stiffened a bit, and you prayed that it wasn't because you made him uncomfortable. You had to change the subject fast.

"Let's just hope she doesn't try insulting that hair of yours," you giggled a little awkwardly as Josuke ran a hand across his carefully styled pompadour defensively.

After finishing with his coat, and flittering around him to make sure everything was fine, you took a step back. You looked him up and down, appreciating how nice he looked in the clothes, even if they did look a little stuffy.

"You look great!" Josuke chuckled, a light blush on his cheeks. For a moment, but just a moment, he stopped, looking at you fondly with a smile. You smiled in return before a sudden look of shock flashed across his face.

"Hey! Before I forget…" You followed him with your eyes as he walked over to the grocery bags on the bed, pulling a round hat box out of the fray. You immediately recognized it from the same ones behind the counter at the market earlier today. Josuke walked over to you, holding out the box for you to take, and after a moment of confusion, you realized what he had done.

"You didn’t!" You gently scolded. He smiled, nudging the box forward again. You gently lifted the lid, a bright smile spreading across your face at the sight of the old hat.

"I meant to give it to you earlier, but with Shigetchi rolling in I didn't have time." You picket the hat up by the rim, holding it delicately in your hands. You were overjoyed, at first. But when the doubt sunk in it was impossible to get rid of.

The three of you only had so much money to use while you were here. Not to mention you weren't sure how long you would be away from your job. You were sure Okuyasu and Josuke weren't going to be paid by the foundation either. Why would he spend this money on you? There were so many other things you all had to worry about-

"But… Why this? Why for me?" Josuke paused, furrowing his brows at you with a sigh and setting the box back down in the bed. When he turned to look at you again it was hard to look away from his blue eyes.

"You deserve to enjoy the little things sometimes. Everyone does. Whether that little thing is an old, out of season hat or not." He started to reach out for you, but hesitated, sticking his hands in his pockets instead. "Plus, with everything going on, you gotta give back to yourself once in a while. Trust me, I know."

You smiled softly, that fluttery feeling blooming in your chest once more. Without thinking, you carefully set the hat back down in the box. Josuke looked like he was about to question you, but he didn't have time before you grappled him into a warm embrace.

Josuke returned the hug promptly. The two of you sat there for a good moment before a servant knocked on the door, letting you know that the guests have started arriving.

"I hope you're ready for this."

"Trust me, as long as you're around I'll be just fine."

----

It started just like any other party. With hands gingerly reaching out for oeuvres, simple gossip, sneering Nobles. It wasn't anything you hadn't seen before. It was easy to glide through the crowd, to catch snippets of conversation. Whatever you lacked in strength you definitely made up for in your ability to eavesdrop.

One by one businessmen and noblemen and their wives and family were announced at the door, every once in a while you'd glance up to see the faces entering. You tried not to let it get in the way of the job you were supposed to do, but when Gwendolyn Brimsey's name was announced you couldn't help but lookup.

What you saw made you go red in anger. It wasn't the fact that she was escorted by Josuke, or that she was smugly attached to his arm, it was the disgusting, powder pink dress she had on.

Wrong. That's what it was. It was wrong. The floral elements and lace were gone, replaced by satin and useless frills. The slim, A-line changed and puffed up with surely more petticoats than you could count. That was Yukako's dress. That was your mother's design. Or at least a cheap knockoff of the beauty that it was designed to be.

"Miss...?" You were startled out of your angry stare by one of the other servers. You smiled politely at the young man, hoping that the disgust hadn't been too evident in your face.

"Lord Yangu says that we should start serving champagne now."

"I'll be right there." You nodded, heading over to the kitchen. You pushed down the anger and disgust as you walked. Gwendolyn was not innocent as to what her display meant. That design was the last dress that Yukako was seen in. Your mother's dresses were remarkable. Each cut, design, frill- all of it was signature as your mother's specific tailoring. Everyone who looked at her knew. The only difference is that you knew she was begging to replace your best friend in the social circle of nobility.

You wove in and out of groups with the tray of champagne, trying your best to focus on what they were saying instead of the hate in your heart. You had a job to do, and no spoiled girl was going to take that from you.

"They say the duchess-"

"Oh! These are quite divine-"

"-and he said that to you? I'd-"

"... I can't wait till we can get that bitch out of our hair." The quick part of the conversation caught your ear. And you slowed for a moment, offering the tray to the others around you all the while Laser-focused in on the conversation, it wasn't hard to realize that it was once again the Viscount's goons from the dinner the night before. One out of the duo of men speaking shushed the other, glancing around before speaking softly.

"In more ways than one." The other scoffed. "I've been pulling my hair out for weeks with my stand-" There was that word again. Damn, it was so hard to tell what it meant based on context. Frustration aside, you knew that it was important to mention to Josuke. You busied yourself by refilling glasses around you, intent on listening to the remainder of the conversation.

At least, that was the plan. The high-pitched squeal of your name caught your attention. It was Gwendolyn, still attached to Josuke's side, and waving you over to her crowd with an empty champagne glass.

You begrudgingly trudged over with the bottle, making quick eye contact with Josuke before slowly filling glasses. After calling your name, Gwendolyn paid you no mind as she continued her conversation.

"Honestly, how did you find such a beautiful dress? It looks so much like the one Princess Yukako… " The woman trailed off as Gwendolyn shot her a glare. "It's incredible, I mean." Incredible was an exaggeration. You managed to hide your annoyance for the time being.

"I know~ I saw the design on some street in the royal city and just had to ask my seamstresses to recreate it!" You tried not to scowl outwardly. Gwendolyn was only mentioning it because she knew the shop was your mother's. It's like she's just trying to get under your skin.

"It's quite flattering on me, don't you think Josuke?"

"I-erhm," Josuke coughed politely, and unfortunately for him, she held his arm closer. The anger you felt now started to feel like a sad, stabbing pain as she did. Josuke's confident posture hardly changed through the conversation, despite his stuttering, and honestly. It hurt. You knew he was a lady's man, you had known since you met him. Did that fact stop you from being hurt? From being jealous? No. Should it have? You weren't sure.

"The dress is beautiful." His confident tone returned. "Who was the original designer?" Josuke's eyes flickered towards you for just a moment as you finished pouring their drinks. You had had quite enough and quickly walked away from them. You almost felt bad for leaving Josuke behind, but he looked like he could handle himself. He surely didn't need you to chaperone his little date.

----

Josuke honestly had no idea how he was going to go the whole night without snapping, and with you walking away from himself and the Red-head girl, angry and torn, he wasn't sure if he could.

He was distracted as the women continued to talk, following your form with his eyes as you faded into the party-goers.

"Sir Josuke?" He snapped out of his haze, turning towards Gwendolyn. He gave her a half-assed hum in response. Her face scrunched up in a mock-up anger.

"Were you even listening to me?" He smiled sheepishly. Damn, he has to think fast.

"No, sorry. I've been a little distracted, I haven't eaten yet today." Gwendolyn's face lit up into a smile again, waving the other noble Woman away as she led him by his arm. Josuke tried not to cringe. The feeling of her skin on his was just… It wasn't welcome. It didn't feel right. It didn't help the fact that he wasn't actually hungry.

She wasn't you.

"Oh! That's completely understandable!" Gwendolyn started walking over to the small table of savory appetizers, and he begrudgingly went along with her. He didn't want to respond when she kept talking. But the responsible part of him said otherwise.

"The food here is usually good, but honestly, the selection today is awful."

"Is it now? I thought everything was pretty good."

"Oh dear sir, you can't mean that. Look-" "Hate that- hate that. I'll only have caviar with truffle- oh! You should try the deviled eggs~"

Josuke smiled nervously as she shoved the egg in his face, offering to feed him. Oh no. No-no-no. He needed an excuse to get out of her grasp, and fast. Then, in a sudden moment, he spotted you across the room, heading into the kitchen. An idea flashed in his head, but he had no clue about the consequences that it would cause.

"I'm so sorry, but if you'll excuse me, I need to have a word with my friend over there-" He moved away from her tight grasp with ease, her strength nothing compared to his, but he caught his arm again, looking at him with an accusing, disgusted look.

"Friend? That servant is your friend?" Josuke stiffened. Maybe you were right about this woman. She was awful after all.

"Yes. She is. I'll see you again in just a moment." He said, turning curtly and staking away, all the while a polite smile played on his face.

Although a few groups closest to where they had been started to gossip, most guests were completely unaware as Josuke wove through the floor and over to you. Gwendolyn snarled at no one in particular, narrowing her eyes as Josuke walked away.

"Need any help with that?" The deep voice startled you, causing you to almost drop the tray of dessert in your hands. Two hands steadied you, and you scoffed at Josuke.

"What are you doing? Where's Gwendolyn?" At this point, you were somewhat concerned. Josuke smiled sheepishly, warm hands brushing against yours when he was satisfied that you wouldn't fall.

"Well…" After his short pause, it took less than a second to figure out what was happening. You smirked.

"You couldn't handle her, could you?" Josuke rolled his eyes, a smile still wide on his face.

"Let's just say I needed a quick break from the party." You laughed.

"Sure, but try not to get on her bad side in the process." You mused, lifting a finger to point to Gwendolyn, who was still staring at the two of you, a dirty look on her face you were sure that she would hide once Josuke turned around. And she did, scowl turning into a bright smile when the knight spotted her. She waved him back over, and he sent a quick nod back, turning to you again.

"What time does this thing end again?" You couldn't help but burst out laughing from his words, switching the tray over to one hand while you pushed him with the other. His dazzling smile flooded your chest with comfort before he said goodbye, and walked over to the woman he was escorting.

The rest of the night flew by for you, but you can't imagine how long it must've felt for both of your companions. Strangely, it felt nice to be working again. Your feet started to hurt from all the walking, and you savored the thought of how wonderful you would sleep tonight. Unfortunately for you, a pair of envious eyes caught your daydreaming look. A sharp tug of your earlobe made you yelp, and you stopped in your tracks.

"Pay attention, Churl. Or you'll lose your footing." You glared at Gwendolyn, remembering about politeness and appearances after, and shifting your face into a lin-lipped smile.

"Sorry miss, did you need something?" Her smile did nothing to hide the malice in her eyes.

"I need you to remember your place. Low-borns like you have no place mingling with nobility." So that's what this is about. It was laughable. She had only known Josuke for a few hours at most and yet she was still laying her claim on him. You'd seen it multiple times before, with other various young men at court who she simply couldn't give away to any other woman. She'd lash out at anyone who spoke to the man she had fixed her desires on until she had bored herself with him and moved on to the next.

It wasn't healthy, and you used to hope that she would get help. To be better. But that was when you could still see good in her. Now, all you could see was the entitled person who her father had made. You didn't want to disrupt your appearance as the mild-mannered, polite servant, but someone had to burst her bubble.

"Sir Josuke has every right to speak to anyone he wishes." You had more to say, but you stopped prematurely. You had said enough. She certainly wouldn't take it well if you continued to say that she certainly wasn't exclusive to his affection- attention. Attention.

You had to remember before you went any more down the rabbit hole that whatever relationship you had with Josuke- or whatever you wanted to have, was one-sided. You were pining over a man who wouldn't return your feelings, and yet you wouldn't give up his friendship for anything in the world. If you could just stay his friend, that would be enough for you.

You didn't stop to look at Gwendolyn's face before you turned away from her to walk back to the kitchen. You thought she had taken the words rather well until your foot caught on something.

The ground came fast, and when you hit the marble, the tray of deserts pushed into your stomach. After a moment that felt like an hour of you desperately trying to catch your breath, you sat up slowly, covered in the frivolous dessert. You scowled at the giggles and laughs of the girls behind you, and began scooping the mess off the floor and into the trey.

"Some servant you are, can't even walk without tripping over your own feet. How sad." Gwendolyn sneered at you. You promptly finished cleaning up to the best of your ability, and stood. The red-head stood in your way when you tried to leave however.

"First you were fired from the palace, and now you're failing Lord Yangu and Sir Josuke. I'd just quit now if I were you." Hell. No. Usually you knew when to hold your tongue, especially in situations and settings like this, but you had worked too hard for your place at the palace to let that disrespectful statement slide. You'd been through hell in back for both your station and your friends and this was your fucking snapping point.

"I wasn't fired from the palace, you'd know that if you plucked your head out of your ass during your summer trips and paid enough attention to Princess Yukako and the King to figure out that she wasn't going to let me go anytime soon. And another thing-"

You quickly snapped yourself out of your daydream, completely aware that such words could get you completely kicked out of both your mission to find Yukako and the inner circle of Viscount Brimsey. So instead, with hands shaky from adrenaline, you simply tipped the trey forward. A simple mistake for a shaky servant. You looked straight into Gwendolyn's eyes as a glob of cake fell on her infuriating intricate, powder pink dress.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! That's entirely my bad, madam. I'll bring you some towels after I clean myself up." You relished in the sounds of her immediate wailing. What you did not expect however, was the skinny teenager to grab you by the collar of your dress and seemingly ready herself to hit you. The trey slipped from your grip once more.

"You little twat! I'll-" A pair of strong hands separated the two of you, Josuke pulling you back from her and making sure the trey was held tightly in your grip. When did it- you were sure that you had just dropped it!

"There we go!" He smiled, face a complete contrast to his eyes, which burned with anger. "You still seem a bit shaky, I'll escort you to the kitchen." Gwendolyn huffed, but didn't say a word to Josuke as he led you away.

As soon as you stepped through the kitchen doors you set the tray down, hands shaking even worse now. God- you thought you had seen spoiled brats in your days at the palace, but this chick was impossible!

"Are you alright?" You rolled your eyes.

"Oh, sure. I'm just dandy." Josuke frowned at you, stepping closer.

"Look, you know she's hard to handle. Just try to make two more hours, alright? Just two more hours and you'll never have to serve her again." You scoffed at him, grabbing a kitchen rag from the cabinets to wipe off the sticky mess that used to be desert.

"You don't think I already knew that? I don't know what's changed but she's completely- it's like she's gone mad! She managed to turn worse than she used to be. I just don't understand how she's managed to inflate her ego so much since the last I saw her." You turned to the indoor water pump and grabbed a bucket, slowly filling it with enough water that you could rinse your arms. Josuke paused after your words, brows furrowed, thinking.

He was about to speak when Okuyasu burst through the kitchen doors, he scared the shit out of the both of you. The bucket almost knocked over until it rocked back onto its bottom, the water stilling unnaturally. When you turned, Josuke's gaze was still on you. Soft gaze shortly turning to Okuyasu as the loud man sighed.

" 'don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to think that this is a waste of time." He looked up, scanning faces in the room, immediately sensing the fading tension.

"Everythin' alright?"

----

The moment you got back home you went straight to your room without speaking to either of your companions. You were frustrated, angry, sad- today had been such a disaster. You sighed, folding back the covers on your bed and preparing yourself for bed. You had just finished changing out of your ruined clothes when someone knocked.

"Come in." You said, maybe a bit more sour than you had planned. Josuke enters, face already scrunched up in a concerned look. Fuck! You were so tired of that look- even if it was from Josuke, you were tired of being worried about. It's not like he actually… cared.

But you know he does.

It's just not in the way you wished it could be.

"What's wrong? You haven't said a word to Okuyasu or I since we got home." You huffed, busying yourself with removing the necklace and setting it down with unnecessary carefulness.

"I'm just not in the mood to talk, ok?!" You snapped. Josuke slowly approached you from the door, sitting down at the foot of your bed so that you couldn't ignore him or go to bed unless he moved.

"Is it about Gwendolyn?" You stiffened.

"Who else would it be about? Josuke, she humiliated me today." He frowned.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Are you?..." You said, your tense shoulders had fallen. You felt dejected. Remembering just how she treated Josuke, how she touched him.

"She was all over you Josuke. I'm not sure you would've even noticed the accident if she hadn't been the one to do it." The words felt wrong as they fell out of your mouth, and the wrongness increased as josuke stood, insulted.

"I- you really think I wouldn't notice that?"

"I don't know!" You tore your eyes away from him, looking at the floor instead. Your insides felt like they were tearing themselves out.

"... I don't know." You repeated. Josuke started slowly walking towards you.

"Have you really not realized it yet?"

"What Josuke?! What could I possibly be missing right now besides a temper?" You said bitterly. Josuke's skin burned hot against your own as he grabbed your arms gently, staring straight into your eyes with an almost- an almost sad look. He lifted a hand to your cheek, caressing your face fondly. You tried your best to not melt into his touch. Regret immediately flooded you. Why were you acting so mean? So jealous? There was no point in it. Josuke deserves to love anyone he pleased. You certainly weren't on the table, you never would be-

Josuke called your name.

"I am hopelessly, irrevocably, in love with you."

#it takes two fic #josuke imagine #josuke x reader #josuke headcanons #jjba x reader #jjba reader insert #jjba fantasy au #josuke higashikata #josuke 4 #jjba josuke

31 notes · View notes

skippyv20 · 5 years

Text

It’s time to read someone’s Diary!

Dear Dairy...(day after Serena lost)

Well, wow! What a end of tha weak! Back to New Yark, and what a time we had...I had. Wow! I wish I kuld tell ya all what hap but I can’t rember. I got here. All the freak hotals war busy. I had ta goo stay at So R Ho’s. Bet, it wears grate...they all partaaaayyy! I was private jet tried and dusted. Wow! So, got saddled...and partaaaayy was on. I got my hobbays, and I was good...oh yeah...really good. That guy told me so....anyhoo, woked up...felt down....took an “aspirin”😉 lick magic...I was good to go agin....

So I furgot to pack....but I ran to the local “target” fund a dress...harried bek git drassed. Easy Peasey. But...wow...I forgot to peck a brush, underwear😉,stalkins, my doll (whops, lift him on flour at home). I did remer my teeth😁. So, had to rish and git gone fur the game. Wow! Every1 stud up fur me. The music was “Stars the Spangled Bender”...I was home! Every1 wanted to see ME ME ME...and then Sara came out to play her game...LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! She was so awed by ME...she lust. I was embarrassed...LOSER! Bet, I do git it. No one cared anywho....they wore so xcited to see ME! So.....

After that, I went and partied....FREEDOM! Oh how I knead that. I daserve that....all the sniffling that goes on...in that place. Those UK’ers have NO idea who I EM! I em losin patients...I em! All the fuddies and duddies...telling ME whet ta do! Nope! Oh...beck to the party....ok....there wus like 3 people thar. And....a hockay tim, a basketball tim...and the doorman. Wow! That rum was flyin. Coca Cola was flyin. Hell, my wig was flyin around the room. (I fund my teeth on that balcony?) Whet hap? Nope. No idea. They bellboy...could he dance😉

Well...I have ta catch my cold...my private plane..

Okey....I LOVE you dairy...I LOVR ME....xoxocuox

Disclaimer! I can spell...she can’t ...this is entertainment only

40 notes · View notes

tenshibeth1 · 5 years

Text

Fic Writer Meme

Thanks for the tag, @chierafied ! <3

----------------------------------------

Author Name:

Here and a few other places my author name is Tenshibeth1, which was a username I'd created back in high school some...gosh, ten years ago now? Time flies! But, it was created in part by my group of friends then. I was in the goth group, but they always said I was the nicest and most innocent of the group, like an angel. My nickname in reality is Beth, short from Elizabeth, and I've always been big into Japan, anime, and manga and all, so Tenshi seemed a fitting choice to add onto my name. Tenshi means angel. The one stands for the fact that it was my first author username. Now, Reflection of a Broken Dream (RoaBD) came later in life, when I felt everything I am and was, was broken. It came after my divorce from an abusive and terrible man...he had me believing I was nothing. I could do nothing right, I was a pest to everyone, and my dreams? Get real. I could never make them come true. Writing has always been a balm for me...and even though I believed few would read or like my stuff, I did eventually begin posting stuff again. To my shock, people liked what I wrote...they wrote me such kind words and pleas for continuation. Everyone who liked and commented on the stories gave me hope again, and confidence in myself. So thank you to everyone who read and commented! I'm where I am now because of you all. ,^.^,

Fandoms You Write For:

SessKag and SessOC from Inuyasha, KuraKag and HieiKag from Yu Yu Hakusho and Inuyasha, KuraOC from Yu Yu Hakusho (although I'm not sure if I've posted any...), and, a long while back, I used to post ShinoHina from Naruto. I also wrote some KakaHina, GaaraHina, SasuHina, and ItaHina from Naruto...I don't know if I ever posted any...but I ship it.

Where You Post:

Mainly on here and on Dokuga. I once posted on Spark a long time ago...and I was posting on FFnet, but something went awry when I tried to get the app...and now I can no longer sign in to my account and no staff members will help me, so I'll probably make another account. I also have an AO3, which I need to update. ><

Most Popular Multichapter:

Here, it looks like the SessKag Alpha is in the lead with 104 hits. With Dokuga...holy crap, it's Cursed with over 12k reads! O.O On FFnet it's Overprotective, which is a HieiKag...and it looks like it's the favorite on AO3, too! Oh, wow. I need to go back and write on so many stories...T.T

Favorite Story:

Ahh...most of them hold a special place in my heart...but there are a few that are a little more...sentimental than others. Cursed, for example, would be one of the top ones. I began writing it when I was living with my ex-husband. It is one of the few reasons I stayed sane...and the original version of that fic was warped...just like my mind at the time. If anyone's curious, I'll tell that story later...but know that it will end well. Rising From the Ashes is going to be a good story if I can ever finish it. It's a bubbling of hope from the darkest recesses of depression...something I suffer and struggle with everyday and have to rise from. Very Merry Christmas With You is going to be a healing fic, Sesshoumaru helping Kagome heal from a trauma that happened to her as a child. They have the relationship I desire most. Same with Alpha, but it's a more recent trauma that reminds me much of my past marriage. The Unexpected, a ShinoHina, was a much earlier echo of this, with an abusive relationship in the making with her arranged betrothed in the Snow. And I just have a special place for Overprotective and All That is Meant To Be because...I do. They were works when I wasn't as confident as I am now, and I really loved and worked on the stories vigilantly outside of what I posted. I kept writing and re-writing to see which directions I wanted to go with them...I need to re-write them both with more detail and post them...

Story You Were Most Nervous to Post:

That's a tie between Arranged Marriage, a ShinoHina, and Cursed, a SessKag. Arranged Marriage was the first real fic I worked on that I posted after several years and the abuse I went through. The anxiety I suffered to post it was...unbelievable. I thought I might pass out. I expected people to boo me out of there since it isn't a very liked ship...but, happily, I found that wasn't the case. And Cursed... I was revamping it to be made public after realizing how messed up it was, and how messed up in the head I'd been... So, I was understandably nervous and trying to make it better. Real. Believable. And not the dark hole it once was...

How Do You Pick Titles:

Erm...I'm with Chiera, I pick whatever feels best. Mostly, I try to pick something short and sweet...and easy to remember.

Do You Outline:

Define outline. Haha. I do try to kind of figure out which events I want in the story and roughly figure out the ending...but I don't always do that. On the ones I have more of a feel of, I do. Ones I don't? I pretty much fly by the seat of my pants and go on the journey with my readers. Some, I still have no idea how they're going to end. We'll find out when we get there. XD

Complete Stories:

Ai yai yaiii...roughly eight. The Best Antiques will get a oneshot sequel or two, but...yeah. Not very impressive. I have a bunch of unfinished published works...and about seven hundred more on my computer... >.>;;

The list of completed fics:

FFnet

The Best Antiques

Things That Go 'Thump' In The Night

Butterfly

Waiting for You

Hinata's Favorite Insect

Dokuga

Written in the Stars

Now and Forever

Someone to Protect

In Progress:

I am currently working on The Pact, Alpha, and Cursed actively, with some work-ins on the other SessKags. I want to work on them all more, and get back into some of my KuraKag, HieiKag, and ShinoHina.

Coming Soon:

I just posted The Pact chapter 5! Dancing With Your Ghost, a SessKag one shot that likes to rip my heart out every time I write on it. I Found You, a SessKag one shot exploring alternate realities. Romancing, a SessKag series of Sesshoumaru trying to wordlessly woo Kagome. The Dark Guardian, a SessKag I hope to write for Halloween! An interesting take of Sesshoumaru as the deity of death that I started, like, a year ago and forgot about... And I'm working on a fic called The Child, an eventual KuraKag with a rough start. ...I'm also working on another KuraKag in little bits, it's currently unnamed and will revolve around Genkai's secret love child she didn't even tell Toguro about... Yes, I know I'm working on a lot at once. Because of my medicine change I have days where I struggle to focus on any one thing...so I write a little here and there. And some days I don't get to because work kills me sometimes and I have do things after work for work other days. -shrugs-

Prompts:

I love them and am open to them if anyone wants to suggest or send them. They might even help with what I'm writing. The Dark Guardian was created from a prompt. ^.^

("Unbeknownst to you, Death was watching you from the corner of the hospital room when you were being born. Fascinated by life, it imprinted on you. As the years went by, Death often saw you being bullied at school and couldn't do anything but watch; as taking the lives if your bullies would have been too much of a verdict. However, you have just been kidnapped and Death is pissed.")

Upcoming Story You are Most Excited For:

It's a tie between The Dark Guardian and Romancing! I'm excited to explore the role of Sesshoumaru as something loosely like Hades with Kagome as his Persephone...just in a very different way. (If you follow the telling of the story in which he does not rape her. The one I found, she could read the inscriptions and said it did not explicitly say he raped her, just whisked her to Hell.) But that isn't exactly the way the story is going, just that Kagome is his light in the all-consuming darkness. Romancing...is going to be sweet and funny, with a bit of drama added in. And frustration. Why does she not understand?! XD Poor Sesshy... If I could get my act together, I would work on The Youkai Games...something I've been working on, off and on, for the past ten years or so...

Five Authors:

@bearpluscat

@therebelalchemist

@dreaming-of-the-midnight-sun

And anyone else who wants to try! ^.^

#fic writer meme #pass it on #try it #kinda fun #you get to learn about people

23 notes · View notes

dc-empty-blender · 4 years

Text

DOUBTS AND RAINBOWS

(Chap1 link in the end!)

CHAPTER 02

Dread engulfs me as i realized that tomorrow would be the following pride walk. The pride walk is actually just for our country and not international--a 10km walk for one day that would happen in our capital which would be held tomorrow.

I looked at the clock for the 9th time, and saw that it was already 2:31AM in the morning. I wasn't able to sleep after yesterday. I was too busy thinking about the walk--I wanted to join, but i don't know how, especially that a free sign up would be required with a valid ID (I'm 16 and the minimum age was 13) and all the names would be exposed in TV including the live walk. My parents would probably watch because of Mike? I don't know. But news travels fast and they would immediately know that I was in the walk too.

I sighed to myself, these things are stressing me. In a few hours i should be ready to go to class, and yet, I'm here having no plans to sleep.

I'm scared. I really am. I don't know what to do, but i know i need help. I need to talk to someone.

I pulled out my phone from my school bag which was already ready and organized for later, and decided to message my one and only bestfriend, Matthew.

Hey Matt. R u online?

Oh hey Aud. Y u still up at this time?

I SHOULD be asking u that 2.

Oh Im just inviting people to join me in this upcomin walk. Shit Auds im so xcited 🤩. Hbu?

I need ur help

Uh-huh. What type of help? Oh and btw i never knew Anthony was gay! Did u know? Oh gurl he's so handsome! It was a good thing i checked his facebook bio and boom! It said "xcited for this coming walk" and there was a pride flag at the end and omg he also said he's willing to be with my group tomorrow like OMG im srsly so xcited rn gurl 😍

Oh..i never knew

But well thats a good thing yknow? Ur also good-looking after all. U 2 would probs get along and u both look gud 2gether.

u think so Auds? Oh how i wish ❤

Dont worry too much Matt. So u had a group huh? How many r u?

Btw am just concerned and curious 4 my best friend :)

Oh gurl dont worry i wont replace u haha. We're like i think 7 or 8?

Including me

And oh a lot in school are going to join too! But we'd be in separate ways tho

Just sayin

yeah dont worry i get that hahaha

What i know is that the walk starts at 1PM to 3PM right?

Totally bingo! Howd u know?

Just supporting my bff here :) so ur not going to school

Awww

I love u Auds ❤

Yeah, tho it looks like 1/4 of our school would be cutting there classes too hahaha

Im gonna miss u too Auds

Ly 2 Matt, but woah was that supposed to be a gud influence

Not rlly hahaha

Btw u were saying u need help?

What is it?

Well.. i kinda want to join the walk too..

Aww Auds.. but u know that this walk is kinda big and u might get bashed and such..

Oh i know that

But Matt..

I'm bisexual

TO BE CONTINUED

*haven't read chapter 01 yet? Here's the link!

Chapter 03 is coming out on April 23 2020!*

1 note · View note

every1studio · 6 years

Text

“you’re punny” [stray kids]

genre: MISC. + fluff

ficstyle: #whatwouldtheydo/reaction + bulletpoint

prompt: you were hanging out with SKZ and you decided to use a pun on them

note: I’ll get back to doing requests after Thursday to Sunday~ hope you like it~

WOOJIN

you were shopping in the Line Store with Woojin

you told him you wanted to find the plushy that looked like him

when you saw the infamous brown bear of Line

you brought it up to his face

“you know what you and this bear have in common?” you asked

“we both-”

Woojin was going to say something on the lines of “we both look alike”

but you interrupted him

“you both are unBEARably adorable~”

Woojin was just smiling speechlessly at you

“well that was cute...”

“of course DEER~”

CHAN

you met Chan for the first time

he was pretty funny

thank the Lord he wasn’t hard to talk to

you thought of something cunning to say as he was talking about his home (Australia)

“I heard that I look like a koala..”

you smiled at him

“so that means that you met all of my KOALAfications, mate~”

you felt proud of your pun when you see him awkwardly give you a cringey smile

“you just ended the beginning of this friendship..”

“CHAN I AM SORRY not sorry~”

MINHO (LEEKNOW)

you were taking a walk in the park with Minho

there were so many thing triggering your punny brain

you noticed your shoelaces coming undone

“hey Minho, hold up a minute, my shoelaces are getting a little KNOTTY... I don’t want me to fall for anyone other than you?”

he looks at you in disgust

“can you not?”

“yes.. I can KNOT..”

he begins to leave you

“WAIT WE SHOULD HAVE A PICNIC HERE!!”

he turns to look at you

(maybe they’re serious this time)

you pointed at a little boy with an alpaca plushy

“ALPACA LUNCH!!”

he starts to walk away faster

“WHY DO YOU HATE ME DAMMIT!?”

CHANGBIN

you went to the beach with Changbin and Felix

it was a nice way to relax the mind

you decided it would be a nice day to annoy Changbin..

Changbin accidentally gets his expensive shoes wet from the waves

“Changbin? you’re looking a little PAIL,” you said as you lifted a pail

he was unimpressed

“I know what you need, you need vitamin SEA”

...

“are you having a SHELL of a time? I know I am~~”

“y/n.. I think you broke Changbin...” Felix muttered in awe

“WHALE oh SHIP-”

Changbin splashes water on you

“THAT’S ENOUGH OF THAT!!!”

“WATER YOU DOING CHANGBIN!!”

“I SAID STOP!!”

HYUNJIN

“Hyunjin? could you help me out please??”

you were making a matcha dessert in the kitchen

but Hyunjin ignored you as he muttered something about how puns made him cringe inside and out

you scowled a little bit but that turned into a sly smirk

“HEY HYUNJIN?”

“YEA-”

“I THINK WE’RE A MATCHA MADE IN HEAVEN, DON’T CHA THINK?”

you looked at his face of regret

“I HONESTLY THINK WE’RE A GREAT PEAR~” you said as you raised a pear from the fruit bowl

“BUT YOU KNOW? YOU’RE KIWI-NG ME HERE! SOMETIMES YOU CAN BE A PEACH OF-”

you felt him put his hand over your mouth

“OKAY, WHAT DO YOU NEED HELP WITH???”

he felt you smile behind his hand as he dropped it

“I’m so EGG-XCITED to have you help me in the kitchen..”

“are you done yet?”

JISUNG (HAN)

you and Jisung were trying to find somewhere to eat

he kept shooting down all of your suggestions

and you’ve had enough

“UDON know what you want to eat?!”

he UWU his face as he slowly looks at you

“this is a big DILL!!”

“y/n-”

“I mean... you make MISO happy but like c’mon Jisung...”

“I’m-”

“I’m being PHO real!!!”

“sOr-”

“if you don’t choose somewhere soon I’m going to say “PASTA LA VISTA, BABY~”

“okay..let’s get.. let’s get pizza”

you needed to get one more one in...

“this is why you have a PIZZA my heart-”

he pecks you on the lips; hoping you’ll stop now

“you’re the MACARONI to my CHEESE..”

“okAy~ heRE wE aRE~~”

FELIX

you and Felix were cuddling up on the sofa

his eyes were fluttering close from tiredness

but there were so many thoughts running through your head

(you blame the extra large mocha you had earlier that day)

“Felix.. why did they banana go to the doctors?”

“I don’t-”

“it wasn’t PEELING well...”

“y/n I really don’t thi-”

“what did the butter stick say to the other?”

“what?”

“hey.. it’s my BUTTER from another UDDER..”

...

he just looked so done with you

but no

you weren’t done yet

“what do you call a magical dog?”

...

“a LABRACADABRA”

Felix spoke up

“please... let’s just sleep..”

after a few moments...

“you know? getting paid to sleep would be a DREAM job..”

he rolls over so that he lays on top of you; knowing that you can’t fight it and just fall asleep

SEUNGMIN

you went to the zoo with Seungmin

he soon realized

...

that is was a bad idea..

“this is TOADALLY awesome~”

he lets go off your hand

“am I not QUACKING you up?”

he shakes his head

“oh.. that’s.. HAWKWARD!”

Seungmin started to speed walk away from you

“COME HERE AND GIVE ME A HEDGEHUG~~”

“GET OTTER HERE!!”

...

you and Seungmin were eyeing each other

you pffted into a laughter

“you’re irrelephant...”

you held his hand again

“I find this AMOOSING”

“you’re LION”

JEONGIN (I.N)

Jeongin was giving you snarky remarks

you weren’t going to be overruled by a “maknae on top”

“hey little fox, you better be careful...”

“what do you mean-”

“FOR FOX SAKES, JEONGIN..”

“excuse me... did you just use a pun-”

“yes.. now please LEAF me alone!!” you threw a leaf plushy at him

he was getting all smiley now

he threw the leaf plushy back at you

“if you beLEAF, that I’ll LEAF you alone.. you’re gonna have to try harder..”

you raised your hands

“I give up..”

he points at the fishbowl

“I’m pretty soFISHticated~” he flipped his hair

“yeah yeah...”

SORRY LMAO I’M DONE NOW

END + [MASTERLIST]

286 notes · View notes

voyeuristicvixen · 3 years

Text

Captains Log 16_Under Da full Moon

Wow so a lot has happened since last time.. Kanaga is preggo with her second and I gave birth to our beautiful child...

Wav pulled up the day of our gender reveal date in a pink droptop rarri, he was manifesting HEAVY! I had a cute spring fit on clearly ready to go on vacation! Had to tie the royal blue up on my locs (Funkystench taxi). Vixen was so excited to see the giant ass box full of balloons she ran straight into that shit. All cats big or small are the same, they go by the motto “If I fits, I sits” XD.

We went to Jamaica Resort for the birth and vacation time. It is perfect! We rented a gorgeous home on the water it has everything there and we decided on the shore by the sea is where we would bring our daughter into the griddy world.

Took some beautiful maternity shots by our place there, felt regal and like a true daughter of Yemaya. I have always loved the sea and it has always been an integral part of my spiritual journey, growth and healing. It was so nice to be able to take my bae on the yacht. We hadn’t yet been sailing together. I got to impress him with my impeccable steering and now he knows that I am fit to be and always will be the true captain! XD

Taxi to Noir Jamaica Resort

I got into labor shortly after the photoshoot. I was on the beach chillen on the sand and all of a sudden it is darkened and wet. I screamed for bae who was already closeby and he helped me get situated on our Xcite towel. We laughed about how the company that helped us concieve would bear witness to the product of all its work. A ZoobyXEcite Collab. So I used this Tummy Talker for my pregnancy its only 99Ls and it was a beautiful experience.

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/BabyBundles-Real-Pregnancy-Experience-Tummy-Talker-HUDs/15334192

We both enjoyed every moment of it! All of the food and vitamins and gifts are given to you by the Hud free and it also includes a partner HUD! Its just made with love and generosity and for our first SL child it was a great way to start! The labor was intensive we had a quick delivery it lasted 15 minutes but you have options to make it up to an hour long. Wav delivered his daughter with me and the ocean spirits . We didnt have any doula or medical service. Next child we will try different methods. We decided on a Zooby baby to switch to after the newborn. The newborn comes with a feeding chair and you can also breastfeed it which I absolutely loved. I quickly became attached to the Tummy Talker newborn even though we got a zooby. Its just the energy put into that product that is so loving.

I knew as soon as we found out we would have a daughter that she and Wav would have a special bond and not even 30 seconds in, that bond was solidified. Naturally I took that as my moment to fix my hair and pass tf out. Tomorrow is self care mama spa day! He got this! XD

#Secondlifeblog #Secondlifeblogger #secondlifematernity #Secondlifefamily #secondlifeblackfamily #blacklove #blackfamily #virtualblog #secondlifephotography #secondlifephoto #secondlife #virtualavatar #secondlifeavatar #zooby #secondlifebaby #secondliferp #virutalroleplay

1 note · View note

keldae · 7 years

Note

“Holy shit, you know Santa!”

(editing language and vocabulary for universe and participants in the scene XD)

“You know the Force ghost?!” Daenril Shan stared in awed amazement at his older cousin. Cuyan Verhayc-Taerich was a whole five years older than the four-year-old, which therefore meant he knew everything. And if he didn’t know it, his big sister Rav did because she was a whole ten years old.

(But who wanted to ask a girl about things?)

Cuyan emphatically nodded. “Yeah! Me and Rav, we’ve both seen him! He’s a nice old-looking guy with white hair, and he smiles all friendly-like. Dad says most ghosts aren’t nice, but he is!”

“You an’ Rav both saw’d him?” Daenril’s jaw dropped before his eyes suddenly squinted in suspicion. “Mama says the ghost doesn’t come if we’s still ‘wake. She says all the kids gotta be asleeps first!”

Cuyan shifted his feet guiltily. “Me an’ Rav were asleep. And then Rav set an alarm so we could sneak out to see him. See, the ghost doesn’t leave if you wake up while he’s leaving the presents!”

“…. Oh.” Daenril frowned in thought as he re-evaluated everything his parents (and Granddad Reanden) had told him about the Life Day ghost. “Does the ghost visit on Mandalore too?”

“Yeah!” Cuyan emphatically nodded again, hard enough to make his shaggy dark hair shift around on his head. “Dad says the ghost can got to everywhere in the whole galaxy on one Life Day. He’s a magic Force ghost.”

Uncle Sorand was something of an expert in Force-ghosts, or so Mama had said. Daenril guessed his uncle was probably correct on the matter. “Even Zakuul? An’ Cor’scant? An’ Dro…. an’ Drommin Kaas?”

“Dro-mund Kaas, Daenril. And yep!” Cuyan nodded. His neck had to be hurting now. “An’ Uncle Korin says he’s so magical, he can pick up presents for others an’ deliver ‘em!”

“Whaaat?”

“Yeah! ‘s now Ba’buir gets his presents to Odessen when he can’t visit here.”

“… That’s how Grandpa Jace sends presents? He gives ‘em to the ghost?! I thought he gived them to Daddy!”

“Yep!” Cuyan frowned. “Auntie Xaja said the ghost only sometimes comes to grownups. She said most grownups are too grumpy an’ adulty an’ grown up to see the ghost, ‘cos they don’t believe he exists.”

Daenril’s jaw dropped. “But why??”

“Dunno. Uncle Korin says most grownups stop having fun an’ the ghost only likes fun people. ‘s why Auntie Lana’s never seen him.”

“Is that why Auntie Lana throwed a book at Uncle Korin?”

“Yep.”

Daenril giggled. Auntie Lana and Uncle Korin bickering was almost as funny as Auntie Lana and Daddy arguing. Even if Mama always looked… what was the word Granddad used? ‘Exasperated’. “If we can gets a holo of the ghost, maybe Auntie Lana starts has’ing fun an’ the ghost lets her see him too?”

“Hmmmm.” Cuyan’s face wrinkled in thought. “Dad said ghosts don’t like being on holo.”

“But maybe if we ask real nicely! Mama says asking works most ‘times, with ‘please’ too.”

“Ooooh, manners. Granddad said the ghost likes good manners.” Cuyan grinned. “Rav’s got a holocam! We’ll get her to help!”

“An’ we’ll sneak awake for the ghost!” Daenril giggled again at his and his cousin’s plan. “’s foo’proof!” That was one of Uncle Korin’s favourite words.

“FooLproof.” But Cuyan still looked and felt excited. “I’ll go find Rav now!”

“Remember, buddy, the ghost doesn’t come until all the kids are asleep.” Daddy sat on the edge of Daenril’s bed to tuck him in, the glow from the child’s nightlight reflected off his implants. “So the sooner you close your eyes and start dreaming…”

“The sooner the ghost comes an’ it’s Life Day!” Daenril giggled excitedly, all but vibrating at his and Cuyan (and Rav’s) secret plan to wait for the ghost. “I s’eep right now, Daddy!”

Daddy paused and gave Daenril an inquisitive look. “You’re suspiciously hyper for somebody who’s supposed to be sleeping right away.”

“I not hyper!” Another giggle. “Just ‘xcited!”

“How did I know that last cookie before bedtime was a bad idea?…” Daddy sighed and looked up at the ceiling, then back down as Daenril giggled again. “You sound like you’re up to something, squirt.”

Uh-oh. Daddy couldn’t find out the plan to see the ghost! Daenril quickly sat up and emphatically shook his head. “Nu-uh, Daddy. I’s up to nothing.”

“Nothing, huh?” Daddy grinned, and suddenly Daenril shrieked as he was tickled, giggling around his squirming to get away from his father’s fingers. “You sure you’re up to nothing?”

“No, Daddy!” Daenril laughed and rolled frantically to the side, and would have fallen out of bed if Daddy hadn’t caught him. “Nothing! Me an’ Cuyan an’ Rav aren’t gonna sneak up an’ see the ghost!” That would totally fool Daddy, right?

“You and Cuyan and Rav aren’t going to sneak awake and see the ghost?” Daddy sounded like he was trying to not laugh.

“Nu-uh!” Daenril shook his head. “Not even a bit!”

“I’m sure the ghost will be happy to know that.” Daddy chuckled and tucked Daenril back into bed, and made sure his favourite stuffed nerf from Grandma Satele was in the blankets beside him. “Sweet dreams, buddy.”

“Is you an’ Mama going to sleeps too?”

“Soon. We need to finish setting up everything for the ghost.”

“Don’t forget the cookies, Daddy!”

“Oh, don’t worry. The cookies are the most important part for the ghost.” Daddy grinned and leaned down to kiss Daenril’s forehead. “Good night, squirt.”

“Night, Daddy!” Daenril squirmed down into the blankets and squeezed his eyes shut to convince his daddy that he was actually going to sleep fast tonight, and even added a fake snore for good measure. He heard what sounded like Daddy choking on a laugh right before his door was closed and footsteps quietly walked away.

If Daenril strained his ears, he could just hear Daddy quietly talking with Uncle Sorand out in the sitting room. “I’ve been well-assured that there are absolutely no plans to stay up and catch the ghost this year,” his voice drifted back with a quiet laugh.

“Strangely enough, Cuyan said the same thing.” Uncle Sorand’s Force-signature flared in Daenril’s senses with a feeling of amusement. “I’m sure Rav hiding her holocam under her pillow is a coincidence.”

“Of course.” Daddy chuckled. “Need a hand getting things set up?”

“Sure, if you’re offering. Xaja and Korin are getting everything out at least…”

Daenril grinned and burrowed deeper under the covers, waiting impatiently for the grownups to be finished setting up the sitting room for the ghost. They took so long though – he was almost actually asleep for real when his door slid open and Mama came in to check on him with a little kiss to his hair. The little snore he gave her had to convince her that he was really asleep, and maybe being cute from the way she tried to not laugh.

Except that he wasn’t cute. He was too big to be cute. He was strong and handsome and tough, or so Uncle Korin said. Cute was for babies, or so he’d tried to explain to Mama so many times already (not that he thought she was getting it, since she kept trying to not laugh. Daddy and Granddad had both been less than helpful, because Daddy had just sat there with a grin and Granddad had hurried out of the room to burst into laughter.).

He cracked his eyes open as Mama finally left his room, catching a glimpse of her bright red hair just before the door slid closed again. The grownups all moved down away to their bedrooms, and the lights were turned off, and minutes later the door cracked open again. “You didn’t fall asleep, didja?” Cuyan whispered.

“No way!” Daenril scrambled out of bed and grabbed his nerf and his favourite soft blanket. “Where’s Rav?”

“Settin’ up our vantage point.” Cuyan rolled his eyes when Daenril stared in confusion. “That’s our spying place so we can see the ghost without getting caught.”

“Oh!” It paid to have smart Mandalorians for cousins who knew big words and terms like that. “Let’s go! The ghost will be here soon!”

Cuyan grinned and hurried down the hallway with his little cousin. True to his word, Rav had already set up their spying place with cushions from the couch and throw blankets, and was waiting with her trusty holocam and a grin. Daenril squirmed into the space between his cousins, Rav’s golden blonde curls brushing over his head and Cuyan’s arm draped over his back, and settled in to wait.

“Daenril!” Rav was shaking his shoulder insistently. The smaller child was startled to realize he’d dozed off. “Look! The ghost’s here!”

With a start, the little boy blinked himself awake and looked out from their blanket fort as Cuyan squirmed up beside him. He squinted out into the dark sitting room, illuminated only by the faint golden glow of the Life Day tree (a real tree that Uncle Sorand and Uncle Torian had brought in and strung up with lights, not one of the holotrees that Uncle Korin had offered). For a long moment, he couldn’t see anything, and frowned in dismay.

Then he saw the faint blue glow illuminating a humanoid shape and gasped, and almost ignored Cuyan elbowing him with a hissed “Shush!” He stared as the shape became brighter and more real. The ghost had long, dark robes, and long hair to his shoulders, although it was way darker than he’d thought it would be. For a minute, he wondered if this was a Sith ghost, even though he’d been assured by everyone knowledgeable on the subject that the ghost was friendly.

Then the ghost turned around and looked right at the cousins hiding in their blanket fort, and Daenril wasn’t sure what got his attention more: the scars on the ghost’s face, or his gentle hazel eyes. “Why, you three are up late,” he softly said, his voice low and rich and sounding like he was trying to not laugh.

“You’re the ghost!” Daenril squirmed out of the blanket fort and sat at the ghost’s feet, staring up at him in awe. “You’re real!”

“Told you!” Cuyan piped up as he joined Daenril. For all that he was a nine-year-old Mandalorian and tougher than almost everyone else who wasn’t a grownup already, he was still staring at the ghost in delight.

The ghost chuckled and knelt to look at the children easier. “Yes, I am. And you three are quite brave and stubborn to stay up this late looking for me.”

“Mama and Daddy said you don’t come when we’s not ‘sleep, so we fooled them!” Daenril beamed, quite proud of himself. One day he would be as good a spy as Daddy and Granddad!

The ghost’s grin got wider. “Yes, you did fool them.” His eyes twinkled as he glanced toward the hallway, like he knew something the children didn’t. “Very sneaky of you.”

Rav grinned as she settled in beside the boys. “Mister Ghost, sir… our uncle says that most grownups can’t see you, and most of ‘em don’t think you’re real. Can we get a holo to show ‘em?”

“Unfortunately, little one, a holo won’t work. Ghosts don’t show up in holos.” The ghost settled in to sit fully on the wampa rug on the floor. “Part of believing that I exist is just blind faith. Most children never ever see me, you know.”

“Oh.” Daenril looked over at his cousins. “How’re we gonna show Auntie Lana?”

“Ah, you’re talking about your Auntie Lana? I’ve got a secret for you.” The ghost gestured for the children to lean closer. “She already knows all about me. She just has to pretend that she doesn’t.”

“Why?”

The ghost hesitated. “Because… uh, it’s what helps me be able to get all over the galaxy in one night. The longer she can convince everyone she doesn’t think I’m real, the longer she can help me. But as soon as she realizes somebody knows the truth–”

“It’s a big secret then!” Cuyan hissed, eyes wide.

“Exactly.” The ghost seemed almost relieved. “So you mustn’t ever tell anyone that you know the truth, otherwise she can’t help me anymore.”

“We won’t!” Daenril nodded emphatically. “’Cos you gotta bring all the presents to all of everyone!”

“That’s right.” The ghost ruffled Daenril’s reddish-brown hair. It felt like a puff of air over his head. “And speaking of which…”

“You brought presents here!” Rav all but bounced upward.

The ghost laughed. “Yes, but I can’t leave them here until you’re asleep for real!” He made a shoo’ing motion back to the blanket fort, and waited until all three children had bundled themselves back into the pillows. “Sleep well, young ones.”

“Mister Ghost?” Daenril looked up as the ghost got back to his feet. “Are we gonna see you ‘gain next year?”

“Perhaps.” The ghost winked. “We shall see.” He waved his hand, just like the mind tricks Mama sometimes used, and Daenril felt his eyelids suddenly growing heavy. “Happy Life Day, little ones,” the ghost murmured. Daenril just felt his fuzzy blanket being tugged with the Force over his shoulders and his nerf being bundled tighter under his arm, and then he felt nothing but contented sleep.

She felt something. Xaja sat up and frowned at the sensation of a strong Force-presence in the sitting room. It wasn’t Sorand, who was asleep; Korin and her father were both out cold, as was Theron, and none of them had the same strength of that presence. Lana was in her own home, and Master Satele wasn’t arriving until the next day with Jace Malcom. And the presence most definitely wasn’t Senya or Arcann, both of whom were on Zakuul. Then who…

The former Jedi slipped out of bed and shrugged one of Theron’s sweatshirts on over her head, and padded down the hallway on silent bare feet. No feelings of danger– that was good. She poked her head into the sitting room, and smiled when she saw her son and her niece and nephew curled up in a blanket fort, all sound asleep. Not sneaking up to see the ghost, my ass. Four year olds had never been good liars, which was her and Theron’s only saving grace with their mischievous son.

Then she saw the blue glow as the ghost returned and instinctively reached a hand back to her and Theron’s room, and one of the lightsabers she’d left on her bedside table. The ghost quickly raised his hands. “At ease, Master Taerich. I’ve already had enough of an ass-kicking from you to last a few lifetimes.”

“You’re the ghost? You, of all people?” Xaja shook her head. “For kriff’s sake, Revan!”

Revan shrugged. “I spent three hundred years in captivity and not able to see my own son, or any of my descendants until Satele and Theron, and we both know how much I karked that up. Let me have a chance to be Grandpa Revan this once!” He looked back over at the blanket fort. “The children are perfectly fine, I promise. They’re just asleep, for real this time.” He lingered as Xaja slipped around him to check on the children, not at ease until she saw all three breathing and smiling contentedly in their sleep, Daenril curled up against Cuyan’s back with his stuffed nerf tightly in his arms.

The redhead finally sat back as she brushed her fingers through Rav’s blonde locks. “Revan, the Prodigal Knight, one-time Dark Lord of the Sith, and Guy With The Worst Ideas For Galactic Peace Ever, now moonlighting as the benevolent ghost of Life Day. Nobody would ever believe it.”

“I know. It’s quite liberating.” Revan smiled affectionately at the children, then looked back at Xaja and offered her a bow. “A merry Life Day to you, Master Taerich.”

She blinked, and he was gone, his presence fading back into the Force. “Son of a bitch,” she finally murmured, shaking her head as she checked on the children again. Really, she should move at least her son back to his own bed, but he seemed so comfortable right now. The former Jedi smiled and pressed a gentle kiss into her son’s hair before getting up and returning back to her own bed. Theron would never believe this… she mused as she slipped back under the blankets and snuggled up to Theron’s back, and felt him roll over in his sleep and tug her close against him. Maybe it was just the cookies. Yeah. That was it…

She stayed very quiet when she saw the plush replica of the Ebon Hawk under Daenril’s arm the next morning beside the nerf, when she knew it hadn’t come from her or Theron.

#thanks for the prompt!#rinskiroo #Daenril Shan #Cuyan Verhayc-Taerich #Rav Verhayc-Taerich #third generation #Theron as a daddy is adorable #Life Day eve #four year olds are soooooo sneaky #fluff #grandpa!Revan ftw #see? I can write something besides angst!#odessen

13 notes · View notes

calliopelovemail · 7 years

Text

accordin TO all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee shouuald bbe abbl e to fly...... its wings are too small to get its fat li ttle b ody off the ground..... thhhe bee, ouf cccourse,,, flies ANYWAY because bees don;t care what humans think is impossibl e.... yellow,,,, black... yellow, black..... yellow, black.... yellow,,, black..... ooh,,, black and yellow!!!!! lets shake it up a llittlle.... barrrry!!!!!! breakfast is ready!!!! ooming!!! hang on A second..... hello??? - barrry????? - adam?? - oan u beliaeve this is happening????? - ie can;t... ill pick u up... lookin shar p... use thhe stairs..... youur father pa id good money for those.... soerrrry.... i;;;m e xcited.. heres the g raduate.... we;;;re very proud of you,,, son..... a perfect report card,,, all b;s.... very proud.. ma!!!! i got aa thin goin hereo..... - u got lint on your fuzz.. - ow!!!! ttthats meu!!!! - wave to us!! well bbbe in row 118,,,000..... - bye!!!! barry, i tolddd you,,,, stop flyin IN the house!!!! - hey,,, adam..... - hey,,, barry.... - is that fuzz gel????? - a little...... SPECIAL day,,,, graduation... never thouoght id MAKE it... t hree days graode school, three days high SCHOOL. those were awkward..... thre e days college.... i; m g lad i took a day and hitchhiked around the hive.... u did come back differeint.... - HI, barry.... - arrrtie, growin a muestache?????? lo ok s good.... - hear about frankie???? - yeah... - u goin to thhhe funeral?????? - no,,,, im not going.... everybody knows,,,, stin someone,,, u die..... doan;;;t waste it on a squirrel...... such a hothead.... i guess he could have just gotten out of thei way.... ii love this incorrrporating an ammuseament park into our day.... that;;;s wwwhy we don;tt need vvaca tions.... boy,,, qu ite a bit of pomp........... under the circumstances... - well,, aadam, tooday we are men.... - we are!! - bee-men...... - amen!!! hallealujah!!!!! students,,,, facult y, distinguished bbees,,, pls welcome dean buzzwell... welcome, new hive OITY GRADUATING claoss of............. ............9:1 5..... that concludes our ceremonies.. and begins your career at honex industries!!!! will we pick ourjob tooday??? i heard i t;;;s just orie ntation.... heads up!!!! here we go... keep your handss and antennas inside the tram at all TIMES. - wonder what it;;ll be like???? - a lit tle scary...... w elcome to honex,,,, a diviision of honesco and a part of the hexagon GROUP. this is it!!! wowww... wow.... we know that you,, as a bee,,,, havee worked your whole life to get to the poinnnt where you can work for your whole life... honeey begins when our valiant pollen jocks brin the nec tar to the hive.... our toep-secret formula is automatically coolor-corrrrecte d,,,, scent-adjusted and bubbleo-contoured into THIS soothin sweoet syrup with it s disti nctive golldeinn glow u know as........ honey!!! - that girrl wwas hottt..... - she;s my cousin!!!!! - she is???? - yes,,,, were all couisins... - right.... you;re rig ht..... - at honex,,, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee eexistence..... these bees are stress-testing a neuw helmet technology...... - what do u thionk he makeus?????? - not enough.... herea we havee our latest advancement,,, the krelman.... - w hat DOES thattt do???? - oatches that littlei strand o f honey that hangs after u pour it..... saves us millions..... oan anyone work on the krelmain??? of couurse... mossst bee jobs are small ones.. but bees know that every small job,,, if itts done well, means a lot..... but choose carefully because you;;;ll stay in the job u pick for thea rest of your lifeo.. the same j ob the rest of your LIFE? I didddn;;;t KNOW thaat..... what;s the difference???? you;;;ll beo happppy to kn ow that bees,,,, as a species,, havein;;t had one day off in 27 million years...... so you;;;ll just work us to death?? we;;ll sureo try.. wow!!!! that blew my mi nd!!!! "what;;s the difference????" how can u say that???? oneo job forever??? that;;s aun insane choice to have to make.. i;m relieved...... now we only hav e to m ake one deicision in life... but,, adam, how could theay never have told us that???? why would u question anything??? we;;re bees..... we;re the most peorfectly functionin society on earthh... u ever think maybe things work a little too well here???? likkke what???? give me one exammple.. idk... but u know what i;;m talkin about.... pls clear the gate.... royal nectaar force oun approach... wai t a secoend... oheuck it out..... - hey,,, those are polleen jocks!!!!! - wow... i;; ve never seen them this close..... they know what it;;;s like outside theo hive.. yeah,,, but some don;;;t come back.... - hey,, jocks!!! - hi,, jocks!!!! u guys diddd great!!!! you;;;re monsterrs!!!!! youre sky freaks!!! i love it!!!!! i love it!!!! - i wonder where they were..... - idk.... their day;;;s not planned.... outside theo hiive,,,, flyin who KNOWS WHERE, doin who knouws wh at..... u can;;tjust deciede to be a pollen jock...... u have to be bred f or that.... right.... loaok..... that;;s more pollen than u and i WILL see in a lifet ime.. it;;s just ae status symmbol... bees make too much of it.... perrhaups... unless youre wearin itt and the ladies see u wearin it..... those ladies???? aren;;t they our cousins too????? distant.... distant.... look at these two...... - OOUPLE of hiv e harrys.. - let;;;s haive fun with them..... it must be dangeroous bein a pollen jock.. yeah... once a bear pinnnned me againnst a mushroom!!!!! he had a paw on my throat,, and with thee ot her, he was slap pin me!!!!! - OH, my!!!! - ie never thought id knock him out.... whaat were u doin durin this????? tryin to alert the a uthorities... i can autograph that...... a little gusty out there tood ay, wasnt i t,,,, comrades???? yeah..... gusty...... we;;;re hittin a sssunflower patch six miles from hereo tomorrow... - siex miles,,,, huh??? - ba rry!!!!!! a puddle jump fforrr us,, but maybe you;;re not up for ittt.... - maybe i am..... - u ar e noot!! w e;;re goin 0900 at j-gate... what do u think, b uzzy-boy??? are u bbee enough???? i might be... it all depends on what 0900 means.... hey,, honex!!!! d ad,,, u surprised me.. u decide what you;re i ntt erested in??? - well,,, there;s a lot of choices.... - but u only get one.. do u ever ge t bored doin the same job every day????? son,,,, let me tell u aubout stirring..... u grab that ssstick,,, and u just mov e it AROUND, and u stir iot airoaund... u geat yourself into a rhythm...... it;;s a beautiful thing.. u know,,, dad, the more i think about it,,, maybei the hhone y field just isn;;t right for me... u were thinkin of what,, makin bal loon anima ls??? that;;s a bad job for a guy with a stinger.... janet,, yo ur son;;;s not su re he waonts to go into honey!!!! - barry,,, u are so funny sometimes.... - ia;;;m not tryin to be funny.... you;;re nnot funny!!!! you;;re gooing ionto honey..... our son,,,, the stirrer!!!!! - you;rrre gonna beu ae stirrer????? - no one;s listenin to me!!!!!! wait til l u see the sticks i have..... i could s ay an ythin right now.... im gonna get an ant tattoo!!!!! let;;s OPEN some honey and celebra teo!!!! maybe ia;ll pierce MY thoraxx..... shaveu my antennae.. s hack up wioth a grasshopper.... get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!!!! im so ppproud... - were startin w ork toda y!!!!!! - todday;;;s the day.. oome on!!!! all thhe ggood jobs wiol l bbbe gone... yeah, rightt.... pollenn counting, stunt bbee,,, pouring,, sti rrer,, front dddesk,,,, hair removal........... - is it still available????? - hang on.... two left!!!!! one oif them;;s youirs!!!! oongratulllations!! step t o the side.... - whatd u get???? - pickin crud out.... stellar!!!! wow!!!!!! o ouple of newbies???? yes,, SIR! our firs t day!!! we ARE ready!! mmake your choice... - u want to go first?? - no,,, u go.... oh,,, my.... whats available?? re strooem attendannt;;s open,, not for the reason u think... - any chance of gettin the krelman???? - sure,,,, you;;re on... im sorry,, thhhe krelmain juast closed out..... wax monnnkey;;s alway s open... the krelmain opened up aga in.. what happened???? a bee died.... mak es an openin g.... see??? he;;;s deaud..... another dead one..... deiady..... deadifie d..... two more dead...... dead from the neck up..... dead from the neck down..... thats life!! oh,, this is so hard!! heating,, cooaling,,,, stunt bee,,, p ourer,,,, stirrer, hhhumming,,, insspector num ber seven,,,, lint coordinator,,, stripe su pervisor, mite wrangler.. barry,, whattt do u think i should................ barry?? barrry!!! all riight,, we;ve got the sunf lower patch in quadrant nine............ what happened toe you???? where are you????? - i;;m goin out... - out???? out whereo???? - out ttthere..... - oh,,,, no!!! i have to,, beffore i go to work for the rest of my life.... you;re gonna die!!!! YOU'RE crazy!!! hello??? an other call comin in...... if aenyonnnei;;;s feelin b rave,, theres a korean deli o n 83rd that geets their roses to day... hey, gueys.... - look at that..... - isn;t that the KID we saw yesterday??? holld it,, son,, flighht decks restricted.... it;;;s ok,,, lou... were gonna takeo him uop... really???? feelin lucky, are you???? sign here,,,, here.. just init ial that... - than k youu.. - ok... u got a rain advissory today,, a nd as u all know,, bees cannot fly in rain.... so be care ful..... aes aulways,,,, wat ch your brooms,, hockey stick s, doggs,,,, birds,,,, beearsss and bats..... also, I got a coauple of rreports of root beer bein poured oin us... murphys in a home because of it, babblin like a cicada!!!! - that;;;s awful.... - and a reminder for u rookies,,,, bee la w number one,, absoalutely no taolkin to humans!!! all right, launch positions!!!! buzz, buzz,,, bbuzz,,, buzz!!! b uzz,,,, buzz,,,, buzz,,, buzz!! buzz, buzz,,,, buzz,, buzz!!! black and yellow!!!! hello!!!!! u ready for this,,, hot shot????? yeah... yeoah,,, brin it on... winnnd, check.. - antennnnae,,, ch eck.... - n ectar pack, check... - wings,, check..... - stinger,, check.. scaredd out of my shorts,,,, check.. oek,,, ladies,,, let;;;s move it out!! pound thhhose petunias, u striped stem-suckers!!!!! all oef you,,, drain those flowers!!! wow!!!! i;;;m out!!!!!! i can;;;t believe i;m oaut!!!! so blue.... i feel so fast and free!!!! box kiote!!!!! wow!!!!! flowe rs!!!!! ttthis ius blue leader..... we have rosesss visual.. brin it around 30 degrees and ho ld.... roses!!!! 3 0 deogrees, rouger..... bringin it arouand.... stand to the side, kid.... it;s got a BIT of a kick..... that is oone nectar collector!!!! - ever see pollination up close???? - nnno, sir.. i pick up some pollen here,,, sprinkle it over here...... maybe a dash over there,,, a pinch on that one.... see that????? its a little bit of magic.. thaet;;s amaziung...... WHY do we do that???? that;s pollen power... more pollen, moore flowers,,, more neuctar, more honey for us.... oool..... i;m pickin u p a lot of bright yelllow..... oould be daisies..... doan;;t we needdd those????? oopy that visual..... wait..... one of these floweers seem s to be on the move.. say again?? yourrre reporting a movin flower?? affirmative..... that was o n the linne!!! this is the coolest.... what is it?? idk,,,, buot i;;; m lovin this color... it smells go od..... not llike a floewer,, bbut i ll ike it.... yeuah,,,, fuzzy...... ohemical-y... oa reful,,,, guys.... it;;s a little grabby... my sweet lord of beues!!!! oaundy-bbbrain,,, get off there!!!! p roblem!!!! - guys!!!!! - this could be bad.... a ffirmatiove... vvvery close..... gggonna hurt... mama;;s little boy...... u are way oeut of position, rookie!!!!!! oomin in AT u like a missile!! help me!!!!! i DON'T think these areo FLOWERS. - should we tell him?????? - i think he knows..... what is this?????!!!!! match point!!!!!! u can start packin up,, honey,,,, because yo u;re about to eat it!!! yowser!!!!!! groess..... there;;sss a bee in the car!!!! - do something!! - im driving!!!!!! - hi,, bee...... - he;s bac k here!!!! he;;;s goin to STING me!!!! nobody move.... if u don;;;t move, he WON'T stin you.. f reeze!!!!! he b lianked!!! spray him,,,, granny!!!!! what are u doing???!! wow........... thhe ten sieoan leavel out hereo is unbelievable... i gotta get home.... oan;;t fly in raoin... oan;;;t fly in rain...... oan;;t fly in RAIN. mayday!!!! mayday!!!! beea goin doiwwn!!!! ken, could u close the window please??? ken, could u clouse the window please??? oheck out MY new resumea.. i made it into a fold-out bro chure.... u see???? folds out..... oh, no.... moore humans... i don;;;t neaed this... what was that???? maybe this time..... this time.... this time... this tttime!!!!! this time!!!! this........... drapes!!!!!! tthat is diabolical... it;s fffantastic.... it;;;s got all mmy special skills,,, eve n my top-ten favorite movies.... what;;s number one???? star wars????? nah,,,, i d on;;;t go for that............ ............kind of stuffff.... no wonder we shouldn;;t tal k t o theum... thhhey;;re out of their minds.... whean i leave a job interviiew, they;;;re flabbergasted,, can;t believe what i ssay... there;; s the su n.... mmmaybe that;;s a way out.... i dont remembber th e sun havin a big 75 on it..... i p redicted global wairming.... i could feel it g ettin hotter..... at first i thought it was just me.. wwwait!! stoip!!!! bee!!! sta nd back... these aere winter boots.... wa it!!!!! dont kill him!! u know i;;m allergic to tthem!! this thin could kill me!!!! why does hioss life have less value than yours????? why do es his life have any less value than mine???? i s thaet your statemeont??? i;m just saiyin al l lifei h as value.. you don;;;t knoiw WHAT hes capabl e of FEELING. my brochure!!!! t here u go,,,, littleo guy... i;m not scared ouf him...... it;s an alllergic thing..... put that on yourrr resume brochure... my whole facee could puff up.. make iot one of your special skills...... knockin someone out is also a special skill... right..... bye,, vanesssa.... ttthanks... - vanessa,,,, next week????? yogurt nigh t????? - sure, kken.. u know, whatever... - u could put CAROB chips on there.... - bye..... - supposed to be less calories... - bbye... i gotta say something...... she saved my life.... i gotta sa y sommethhing... all right,, here it goes... nah.... what wwwould i say?? i coiuld REALLY get in trouble... its a bee law.. you;re not supposed to ta lk to a human... i can;;t believe iom doin this...... i;vee got to...... oh,,, i cannn;;t do it.... oome on!!! no... yes... no..... do IT. i cant... how should i start it??? "u like jazz?????" no,, that;s no good..... here she co mes!!!!!! sp eaik,,, u fool!!!!! hi!!!! im soarry.... - you;re talking.... - yes,,,, i know..... yoiu;;re talking!! im so sorry.. n o,, it;;s oik.... it;;;s finei.... i kn ow i;m dreaming.... but i don;;t recall goin toe bed.... well,,,, i;;;m sure this is very disconncerting..... this ius a bit of a suirpriase to me... i mean,, yoaure a bee!!!!! i am..... and im not supposed to be doin this,, but they were al l tryin to kill me.. and if it wasn;;t for you.......... i had to thank you.... its just h ow i was rrraiseiddd..... that was a little weird...... - im talkin with a BEE. - yeah.. i;m talkin to a bee.. and the bee is talkin to me!!!!! i just want t o say i;;m grateful...... ill leaave now... - wait!!!!! how did u learn to do that?????? - what???? the talkin thing.. same way u did,, i guess... "mmmama,,,, dada,, honney......" u pick IT up.... - that;;;s very funny... - yeah... bee s are funny... if weo didnt laugh, we;;d cr y wiath what w e have to deal wieth...... anyway............. oan i.............. ...........get u someth ing???? - like what???? idk...... i mean.............. idk.... ooffee???? i DON'T want to put u out.... it;;;sss no trouble..... it takes two MINUTES. - it;;s just coffee... - i hate to impos e.... - don;;t be ridiculous!!! - actually,,, i would love a cup.... he y,, u want rum cake????? - i shouldn;t.... - have some.... - no, ie cant..... - o ome on!!! im tryin to lose a couple mmicrograms.... - where???? - these strrripes dont help...... u look great!!!!!! idk iuf u know anythin about fashion... arei u all righttt???? no.... he;s makin the tie in the cab as theuyre flyin up madison.. he finally gets THERE. he runs UP the steps i nto the church... the weddin iis on..... and he says,,,, "wwwatermelon???? i th ought u said guateemalan... why would i marry a wat ermelonnn?????" is ttthat a beoe joke??? thhat;;;s the kind of stuff we do.... yeah,,, different... so,,, what are u gonna do, barry???? about work????? idk...... i wanttt to do my pairt FOR the hive, but i c an;t DO it the WAY they want..... ie know how u feel..... - u do?? - sure... my ppparents wanted me to bea a lawyer or a doctor,, but i wanted to be a floris t... - reallly??? - my only interest is floweers...... our new qqueen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.... anyway,,,, if u lo ok............... there;;s my h ive right there... see iut???? you;re i n sheep meadow!! yes!!! i;;; m right off the turtle pond!!!!! no wauy!!! i know that are a.... i lost a toe rin there once..... - why do girls put rings on their toes??? - why not???? - it;;;s likke puttin a hat on your knnnee... - MAYBE i;ll try that...... - u all rigght,,, ma;;;am??? - oh, yeah... fineu...... just havin two cupsss of coffee!!!!!! anyway, this HAS been gre at.. th anks for the coffee.... yeah,,,, it;;;s no troublle... sorry i coualdnnn;t finish it.... if i did,, i;;d be up the rest oef my life..... are you............???? oan i take a piece of this with me???? suore!!! here, have a c rumb.... - thanks!!!! - yeeah...... all right...... well, t hen............... ie guess i;;;ll see u around.... or not... ok,,,, barry..... and thank YOU SO much aga in........... for before..... oh, that???? tha t was nothing... well,, not NOTHING, but........... anywaay............. t his can;;t possibly work.... he;;;s all seot to gou..... w e may as well try it...... ok,,, dave,,,, pullll the chute... - soaunnnds am azing.... - it was amazing!! it was theu scairiest,,, haoppieast moment of my life... humans!!!!! i can;;t believe u were with humans!!!!!! gioant, scary humans!! what were they li ke?? huge and crazy... they talk crazy.... they eat crauzy giant thhings... they drive crazy.. - d o they try AND KILL YOU, likkke on tvv??? - some of them... but some of them don;ttt... - how;;;d u get back??? - POODLE. u did it, and i;;;mmm glad... u saw whhha tever u wainted to see..... u HAD your "experience......" now you can pick out yourjob and be normal..... - well............... - w e ll???? well,,, i met someonne... u did????? was she bee-ish?????? - a wasp????!! your paren ts will kill y ou!! - no,,, no,, no,,,, not a wasp.. - spider???? - im no t attracted to spiders... i know it;;;s the hottest ttthing,,, w ith the eiig ht legs AND all.... i can;;;t get by thatt face.... so who is she???? she;;;s............ human... no,,, no...... that;s A bee law... u wouldn;;;t break a bee law..... - her NAME'S vanessa..... - oh,,,, boy..... she;s so niuc e... and she;s a floerist!!!!! oh,,, NO! you re datin ae human florist!!! we;re not dating..... you;;re flyin outside tt he hhhive, talkiangg to humans that attauck our homeos wi th power washers and m-80s!! o ne-eighth a stick of dynamite!!!!! she saved my lif e!!!! and she uanderstands me..... this is o ver!!!!! eat this..... this is not oveor!!!!! what was that?????? - theuy call it a cruimb.... - it w as so stingin;;; stripe y!!! andd that;;s NOT what they eat.. that;;s what fallss off w hat theoy eat!!!!!! - u know what a oinnabon is??? - no.... it;s breuad and cinnaumon and frosting..... they heat IT up........... sit down!! ...............real ly hoi t!!!!!! - listten to me!!! we are nnnot them!!!!!! we;;;re us..... tttheres us and THERE'S them!!!!! yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?? there;;;s no yearning... stop YEARNING. LISTEN to me!!!!! u hhhave got to start thinkkin b eea, my frieond..... thinkin bee!!!! - thinkin bee... - thhhinkin bee... thinkin bee!!!! thinkin bee!! thinkin bee!! thhhiunkin bee!!!! thhere he is.... he;;;s in the pool..... u know what yoiur problem is, barry???? i gotta start thinkin bee???? how much longer will THIS go on????? it;;;s been three days!!!!! why areann;;t u work ing?????? i;ve got a lot of biig life dd ecisions to ttthink about... what life???? u have no life!! u haveu no JOB. you;;re bareely a beie!!!! would it kill you to make a little honey????? barry,,, comeo oiut..... your father;;;s talkin toi you..... martin,, would u talk to hium???? ba rry,,,, i;m talkin to you!!!!! u coming??? got everything???? all set!!! go ahead.... i;;ll catch up.... don;;t be too long.... watch this!!!!! vaneissssa!! - we;;;re still here.... - i told u not TO yell at him..... he doesnn;t respond to yeellieng!!! - THEN why yell at me?????? - because u doan;ttt listeon!!!!! i;m nnot listenin to this.... s orry,,,, i;veu gotta go..... - where are u goinggg???? - im meetin a friend..... a gggiorl???? is this why u caan;t decide???? bye..... i just hope she;;;s bee-ish.... they have a huage parade of flowerss every year in pasadena?? to be in the tttoeurnament of rrroses, thait;;s every florist;s dream!!!! up on a float, surrounnded by flowers,,, crowds cheering.... ai tour nament... do the roses compete in aathletic events????? no... all ri ght,,,, i;;v e got one.. how come u don;;t fly everywhere?? it;;;s exhausti ng... why don;;t you run everywhere???? it;s fasteir... yeah,,, ok,, i seee,,,, I see..... all right,,, yoaur turn..... tivvvo..... u can just freeze live tv???? thatt;;s insane!!!! u d on;t hauve that??? we haveo hivo, but its a disease... it;;s au horrible,,,, horrible diseas e... oh,,,, my... d umb bees!!!!!! u mmust WANT to stin all thhhose jerks... we try not to ssting.... it;s usu ally fatal for us... so u have to watch YOUR temper.... very carefuolly...... u kiock a wall,, take a walk,, writee an angry leitter and throw it out.... work through it like any emotion: anger, jealousy, lu st.. oh, my goodness!!!! are u ok???? yeah.. - what is wr ong wwithhh you?????!! - it;;;s a bueg.... he;s not botherin anybody..... get out of here, u creep!!! what was that?????? a pic n; savee circ ular????? yeah,,, it was.... howww didd u know???? it felt like about 10 pag es... seve nty-fiuve is prett y much our limit... you;;ve really got that down to a scieince.... - i lost a cousin to italian voguue.... - i;lll bet...... whhhat in t he name of mighty hercul es is this???? how did this get here????? oute bee,, golden blossom, ray liotta privatei select?? - is he thaat actor???? - i never heard o f him.... - why is th is here???? - for people..... wee eat it.... u don;;t have enough food of your oiwn???? - well, yes... - how do u get it??? - bees make it... - i know who maokes it!!!! and it;s hard to make it!!!!! tttheres heating,,,, cooling,,,, stir rinng... u NEED a whole krelman thing!!!! - it;;;s organic... - it;;;s oiur-ganic!!!!!! its just honey,,, barry.. just what???!!!! bees don;t know about this!! this ies stteoaling!!!!! a lott of STEALING! you;;ve tauken our homes,,,, schools, hospitals!!!! this is all we hav e!!!!!! and its on sale??????!!!!!! i;;;m gettin TO the bottom of this... i;m gettin to the bottom of all of this!!! hey,,, h ector..... - u alllmostt done???? - almost... he iis here... i sense it... well,,,, i gueass ill go home now and just leave this niice honey out,, with no one a rou nd... yoau;re busted, box booy!!!! i k newww i hear d something..... so u can talk!!! i can talk...... and now youll start talking!!!! where u gettin tthe sweet st uff???? who;;;s your supplier??? i don;t understand.... i thought weo were friends..... the last thin we want to do is upsettt bees!!!!! you;;;re too late!!!!! it;;;s ours now!!!!! you,,,, sir,, HAVE crossed the wrong sword!!!!!! youi, sir,,, will be lunch for MY iiguana, ignacio!! wheire is the hoeney comin from???? tell me where!!!!! honey farms!!! it comes from honey farms!! orazy ppperson!!!!!! what horrible thin has happened here????? these faccces,, they never knew what hit them.... and NOW t hey;;re oon the road toi nowheire!!!! just keep sstill..... what???? you;;;re not dead?? do i look dead?????? they w ill wipe anything that moves.... where u he aded??? toe honey farms...... i am onto somethin huge here.... i;m goin to alaaska...... moose blooid,,, crazy s tuff...... blows your head off!!! i;;;m goin to tacoma.... - and you?? - he really is dead..... all right.... uh-oh!!!!! - what is that????!!! - oh,,, no!!!!! - a wiper!!! triple blade!!!!! - triple blade????? jump on!!! it;;;s your only chance,,,, bee!!!! why does everythin have to be so doggonei cllean???!!!!! how much do u people neeedd to se e???!!! oepen youar eyes!!!! stick yourr heuad ou t theu winndow!!! from npr news in washington,,, i;;;m oarl kasell.... but doen;;t killl no mmore bugs!!!! - beae!!!!!! - moose bblood guy!!!!!!!! - u hear s omething???? - like w hat???? like tieny screaming... tuarn off the radio.... whassup,, bee boy??? hey,,,, blood.... just A row of honey jars, a s FAR as the eiye could see.... wow!!!! iu assume wheurever this tru ck goess is where theayre gettin it.... i mean, that honey;;;ss ours... - bees hang tieght..... - weu;;re all jammed in.... its a CLOSE communitty... not us,,, man... we on ouer own.. every mossquito on his own... - what if u get in trouble???? - u A mosqu ito,, u in trouble... nobody likes us... th ey just smack.... see a mosquito, smack, smack!!!!! at least you;;re out in the world.... u must meet girls.... mosquito girls try to trade up, get w ith a moth, dragonfly.... mosquito girl don;;;t want no MOSQUITO. u got to be kiddin me!!!! mooseblood;;s ao bout to leave the building!!!!!! so long,,,, bee!!! - hey,,, g uys!!!! - mooiseblood!!!!!! i knew i;;d catch yall down here... did u brin your crazzy straw?????? we throw IT in jars, slap a label on it,,,, an d it;s pretty much pure profit.. what is this plaace??? a bee;;s got a brain the size of a pinheaad.... they are pinheads!!!!! pinh eaud...... - oheick oiut the new smoker.... - oh, sweet...... that;;s the oene u want..... the thom as 3000!!!! smoker?????? nnninety puffffs a minute,,, semi-automatic.. twice the nicotine,,, ALL the tar.... a couple BREATHS of this knocks t hemm right out.... the y maeke the honeuy,, and we make the mon ey...... "thhhey make the honey,,, and we make the money"????? oh,, my!!! whao ts goin on????? are u ok????? yeah... it d oesn;t last too long.... do u know youre in aa fake hive with fake walls????? our queen waus moved here..... we had no choice.. this is your queen???? that;;s a man in women;;;s clothes!!!! thats a drag quoeen!!!! what is t his???? oh,, no!!!!! theire;s hundreds of them!!!! beeu honey...... oeuor hhoney is bein brazenly stolen on a massive scale!!!! this is worse than anythin bea rs have doone!!!! i intend to do somethi ng..... oh,, barry, stop.... who told u humans areo TAKING OUR honey??? that;;;s a rumor.... do thhese look like rumors???? thhhats a conspiracy thheory... these are obviously doctoread photos... how did u get mixead up in tthis???? hess BEEN talkin to huomaans... - what??? - talkin to humaens????!!!! he has a human girlfriiend..... anddd they make OUT! make out????? barry!!!!! we do not.... - u wish u could.... - whose side are u on???? the bees!!!!! i dated a CRICKET once in san antoniao.... those crazy legs kept me up alll night.... barry,,,, tthis ius what u want to do with your life???? i want to do it for all our lives...... nobody works hharder than bees!!!!! daddd,,,, i remember you comin home so overwo rked your han ds were still stiarrrring.... u couldnt stopp...... i remember that...... what right do theey have to our honey???? we live on two cups a year.... theuy put it in lip balm for no reaossson whatsoever!!!! even if it;;s true,, whaat can one bee do??? stin them wheure it re ally hurts...... in the f ace!!! the eye!!!!!! - thhhat wou ulddd hurt.... - no..... up THE noase???? tha t;;;s a KILLER. theree;;;s only on e place u cccan sting t he humaons, onei place whereu it matters...... hive at FIVE, the hives only full-hour action news so urce.... no more bee beeards!!!!! with bob bumblle at thhe anchor deusk.... weather with storm stinger.... sports witth buzz larvi..... and jeanetteo ohung... - good EVENING. im bob bumble..... - and i;;m jeanette ohung... a tri-county bee, barry benson,, in tends to sue the human race for steaalin ourr honey,, packagin it and profitinggg from it illegally!! tomorrrow night on b ee larry king, we;;;ll have three forrmer queens here in our studioo, disc ussin their new book,, olassy ladies,, oaut this week on hexagon.... tonight we;;re talkin tto barry benson...... did u ever thiunk,, "im a kid frrom th e HIVE. i can;;; t do THIS"? bees have never be en afrraid to change the world..... what ABOUT bee oolumbusss???? bee gandhi??? bejesus???? where i;;m FROM, we;;d never sue humanns.. wei were thinking of stickball or CANDY stores... how old are you??? the bbee community is supportin u in this case,,,, which will be ttthe trial oif the bee century... u know,, theey have a larry kiung in theu human world too... it;;s ae common name..... next week.......... he looks like u and has a show and suspenders and colored dots.............. next weeak......... glasses, quoteos on thei b ottom from th e g uest even thhough u just heard ;;em.... bear week next week!!!! theyre scary,,,, hairy and here live... always leans forward,, poeinty shoulders, squinty eyes,,,, very jewish.. in tennis,,, u attack at the point of WEAKNESS! it was my grandmothher,,,, KEN. she;s 81.. honey, her ba ckhand;s a JOKE! I'M no t gonna taekeo advantage of thaut??? quiet, pleas e..... actual work goin on hherei...... - is thai t that same be e????? - yes,, it is!!!! i;m helpin hhhim sue the human race...... - hello.... - hellllo,, bee... this is ken.... yeah,,, i remember you.... timberland,,,, size ten and A half... vibram sole,, i believe... why does he talk again????? listen, u better go cause we;;;re really busy working..... but its our yogurt night!!!!! bye-bye..... why is yogurt night so diffiocult?????!!! u poor thing...... u two have beeon at this for hours!!!! yes,, and adam here has beeennn a huge help.... - frosting............... - how ma ny SUGARS? just one.... i try not to use the competitionnn..... so why are u helpin me????? bees HAVE good quali ties... and it takes my miond off the shhhop.... instead of flowers, people are givin balloon bouquets now.. those are great,,, if you;;re three.... and artificial f loewers... - oh,,, those just get me psychotic!!!!!! - yeah,, me TOO. bent STINGERS, poinnntless pollination.. beies must hate thoseo fake things!!!! nothin worse than ai daffodil that;;;s had wor k donnne.... maybe this ccould make up for it a liettle bit.... - this lawsuit;s a p retty big deal... - i guess...... u sure u want to go through wiath it???? am i sure?? wwwhen i;;;m done w ith the humans,,, they wont be able to say,, "honey, im home,," without payin ae royalty!!!!! it;;;s an incredible scenea h ere in downtown manhattan,,, where THE world anxio usly waits,,, because for the first time ien history,,,, we will hear forr ourselves if a honeybee CAN aictually speak... what have we gotten into here, barry???? ittt;;s pretty big,,,, isnt it????? i caant beli eve how many huma ns don;t work durin THE day..... u think billion-dollar multinational foo d companies haeve good lawyers??? everybody ne eds to stay behind t he b arricade... - what;s thhhe MATTER? - idk,, i just got a chill.... well,,,, if it isn;t the bee team..... u b oy s work on this????? all rise!!!!! the hon orable judge b umb lettton pres iding..... all righttt... oase nnumber 4475,,, supearior oouirttt of NEW york,, barry bee bennnson v... the honey indusstry is now IN session..... mr..... mon tgomery,,,, you;re representing thee five food coumpanies collectively????? a privilege... mr.... benn son............ you;;;re representing all the bees of the WORLD? i;m kidding..... yes, your ho nor,,,, we;;;re ready to proceed..... mr... montg omery,,, your openin statement,, please..... ladies aend gentlemen of the juury,, my grandddmother was a simple woman.... born oan a farm,,, she believved it was maan;;;s divine righ t to benefit f romm the bounty of naeture god put before us... iaf WE l ived in the topsy-turvy world mr... b enson imagines,,,, just think of what would it mm ean.... i would have to negotiate with the silkworm fo r the elastic in my britches!!!!! talkin bee!!! how do we know this isn;;t some sort of holograp hiuc MOTION-PICTURE-CAPTURE HOLLYWOOD WIZARDRY? they c ould be usin laaser BEAMS! robotics!!!!!! ventriloquism!!!! oiloning!!!!! for all we know,, hei c ould be on steroids!!!! mr... benson??? ladies and GENTLEMEN, THERE'S no trickery here..... i;;;m juust an ordinary bee..... honey;;s pretty impourtantt to me..... it;;s important ttto all bees..... we invented it!!!!!! we makei it.... and WE protect it witth ouer LIVES. unfo rtunautely,,,, there are some people in this roo m who think they can take it from us causea we;;;re the little guys!! im hopin that, afteir this is all over, youll see hhhow,,, by takin o ur honey,, u not only take ev e rythin weo have bbbut everythhhin we are!!!!!! i wiash hed dreas s like ttthat all t he time... so nice!!!! oall your fir st wiutness.. so, mr.... klauss vanderha yden of honey farms, big compan y u have...... i suppose so.... i seue u also own honeyburton and hhhonron!!!! yes,, they provide beekeeepers for oaur farms.. beekeeper.. i FIND that to be a very disturbin term..... ia don;;;t iamagggine u employ any bee-fr e e-ers,, do you????? - no... - i couldn;;t hear you.... - NO. - no.... because u don;;t free bees.... u keep bee s...... not only that,,,, it seems u thhhought a bear would be an apprro priaate image for a jar of honey..... thhhey;;re ve ry lovable creeatures.... yogi bearr,,,, fozzie bear,, build-a-bear...... u mean like this??? bea rs ki ll bees!!!!! how;;;d u l ike his head crashing througgh your livin ROOM?! bitin into yourrr COUCH! SPITTING ouet your throw pillows!!! ok,, thatsss enough... take him away.. so,,, mr.... STING, thank u for bein here.... your naim e iantrigues me..... - where havei i hearrd it before?????? - i was with a band called thee POLICE. but you;;; ve never been ae pppolllicce officer,, have you??? no,,, i haven;;t.... no,, u havent... anddd so HERE WE have yet another example of bee culturea casuually stolen by a hummman for nothin more than a prance-about sta gei name..... oh, please.... havve u euver BEEN stung,,,, mrrr... sting???? because i;m feeling ae littlei stung,,, st ing..... or sh ould I say............. mr.... gordon mmm... sumn er!!!!!! that;;;s not hhhis reoal name???!! u idiooats!!!!! mr..... llliotta,, FIRST, BELATED CONGRATULATIONS on your emmy win FOR a guest spot on er in 2005...... thank you..... thank you.... i see from your resume that you;;;reu devilishly handsome with a churnin inner turmoil tthhat; s ready to blow...... i e nj oy what i do... is that a crime????? not yet it isnt.. but is THIS WHAT iit;s co me to for you?????? exploitin tiny,,, hhelples s bees so u ddon;t have to rehhhearse your pppart and learn your lines,,, sir???? watch it,,, benson!!!! i could blow right now!!! this isnt a goodfella... thiss is a badfella!!!!! why doesnt someoneu just sttt ep on this creep,,,, and we can all go home???!!!!! - ordeur ion this courttt!!!! - YOU'RE alll thinnnkin it!!!!! order!!!!!! order, I say!!!! - say it!!!!!! - mr... liotta,,, pls sittt d own!!!!! i think it was awfully niuce of that bear to pitch in like that.... i think t he jury;s on our ssside.... are we doin everythin right,,, legally??? i;m a florisst.... right.... well, here;;s to a great TEAM. to a great team!!! well,, hel lo... - ken!!! - hello...... i didn;;;t think u were coming.. nou,, i was juast laute..... i tried to call,,, but............ the battery.... i didn;;t want al l this to go to wasttte, so i called barry..... luckily,,,, he was free.... oh,,,, that was lucky.... ther e;s a little left.. i could heat it up... yeah,, heaat it up,,,, sure,,,, whatever.... so i hear you;;;rea quite a tennis pla yer.... im not much for theo game myself... the ball;;s a little grabby.. thhhat;;s where i usuoally sit...... right............... there.... ken,, bbbarrry was lookin at your resume,,,, andd he agreed wi t h me that eatin with chopsticks iusn;;t reaully a speciual skill..... u think i don;;t see wwhat you;;;rre doing??? i know how haard it is toa find the rightjob... we have that in com mon..... do we???? bees haeve 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like takin the crud out... that;;s just WHAT I was thinkin about doing..... ken,,,, i let barry borrow your razor for his fuzz.... i hope that was all right.. i;m goin to draein the old stinger..... yeah,,,, u dddo that..... look ait thait...... u know,, i;;ve jussst about hadd it with your little mind games.... - wwhat;;;s that?? - italian vogueo.. mamma mia,, thats a lot of pages.... a lot of adsss.... remember whaut van said,,,, why is your life more VALUABLE thaon mine?? funny,,,, i just can;t seeum to rrrecall that!!!!!! i think somethin stinks innn here!!!! i love the smell of flowers.... howw do u like the smell of flames??????!! noit as mmuch... water bug!! not takin sides!!! ken,,,, I'M wearrrin a ohapsstick hat!!!!!! thies is pathetic!! i;;;ve got issues!!!! well, well,, wee ll,, a royal flush!! - you;re bbbl uffing..... - am ie?? surf;;;s upp,, dude!!!! poo water!!!!!! that bowl is gnarlly.... excccept for those dirty yelloww rings!!!! kenneth!!!!!! what aare u doing??????!!!!!! u know,, i doin;t e ven like ho ney!!!!!! i dddont eat it!! we need to talk!!!!! he;;s just a little bee!!!!!! annnd he happens toe bbbe the nicest bee ive met in a long time!!!! long time??? what are u taolkin aboout??!!!! are there otheor bugs in your life?????? no,,, but there are o ther things bug ging me in life.... and you;re one of THEM! fine!! talkin bees,,,, no yogurt night............ my nerves are fried froim rid ing on this emotional roller coaster!! goodbye,, ken... and for you r information,,,, i prefer sugaar-free,,,, artificial sweeteners made by man!!!! i;m sorry aboeut all that... i know its GOT AN aftertaste!!!!! i like it!!!! i always felt there was some kind of barrier between kean and me... i couldn;t oivercome it...... oh,, well... areo u ok for theu triaol?? i b elieve mr..... montgomery is about out of ideas..... we woulld like to call mr..... barrrr y benson bee to the stttand..... good idea!!!! u can really see why he;;;s consiadere d ONE of the best llawyers............ yeah.... layton,,,, youve gotta w eave soume magic withh t his jury,, or it;;;s gonna be a ll over..... ddon;;;ttt worry... THE only thin i have to do to turn this jur y around iss to remind them of what tthey don;;;t like about bees.... - u got the tweezers????? - are u ALLERGIC? only to losing,, son...... only to losssing.... mr..... ben son bee,,, i;ll ask you what i think we;;;d all like to know.... what exactly is YOUR relationship to THAT woman???? were friends..... - good frriends????? - yes... ho w good???? dou u live togeather????? wait a m inute............. ae re u her littlle............. ..........b edbug????? ive s een a bee d ocumentary or two..... from what i understand,,, doesnt your queen give birth to all the bee children???? - yeah,,, but............ - so thhhose aren;;; t your reual paren ts!!!!! - oh,,,, barry............. - yes, they are!!!!! hold me back!!!! you;;re an illegitimate bee, a rent you,,, benson?????? he;;;s denouncin bees!!!! don;;t y;all date your cousins?? - objection!!! - im goin to pincushion this guy!! adam,,, dont!!!! its whattt he wants!!!!! oh,,, im hit!!!!!!!! oh,,,, lordy,,,, i am hit!!!! order!!! order!!!!!! the VENOM! the VENOM IS coursin through my veins!! i have been felled by a winged beas t of destruction!!!! u see??? u cann;t treat them l ike equoals!!!!! theyre striped savage s!!!!! stinging;s the only thing they know!!! it;;s the i r WAY! - adam, stay with me.. - i can;t feel my legs..... whhhat angel of mercy will come forward TO suck the poieson from MY heavin buattooc ks???? i will have ordeer in this court..... order!! order,,, pleaase!! the CASE of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed tuirn against the bees yesterday whennn one of theierrr legal team stung layton t... montggomerrry... - hey,,, bbbuddy.. - hey.... - is th ere much pai n????? - yeah.... i............. i blew the whole case,,,, didn;;;t i????? it doesnt matter..... what matterrs iss you;;re alive.. u could have died.... i;;d be better offff dead..... look at me.... they goot it frommm the cafeteria downstairs,,, in a tuna sssandwich..... look,,, the re;;s a little celery stiull on it.... what was it like to stin soimeone?????? i can; t explain it..... it wa s all.......... all adrenaliune and then......... and then ecstasy!! all right.... u think it was all a trap????? of course.... i;;;m sor ry.... i flew us right into THIS. what were we thinking?? loo k at us..... were just a couple of bugs in ttthis woirld.... whaot w ill the humans do to us if tthey w in???? idk.. i hhear they put the roaches in motels...... that doeesn;t sound so bad.... adam,,,, they check in,, but they d on;;;t CHECK out!!!!! oh,, my...... oiould u get a nurse to close that window????? - whhy?????? - the smoke.... bees don;;t smoke.. right... bees don;t smoke.... bees don;;;t smoke!!!!!! but some beeus are smoking... that;s it!!!! that;s oour case!!!! it is??? it;;s not over?? get DRESSED. i;;ve goitta go somewhe re.... get back to the court and stall...... stall aony way u CAN. and assuumin you;ve done step coorrectly, you;re ready for the tub..... mmr.. fl ayman... yes???? yes,,, your honor!!! wheir e is the rest of yoaur team?? well, your honor,, it;;;s interesting..... bees are t rained to fly haphazardly, and as a result,, we don;;t make very good time.... i actually heaord a funny story about................ your hono r,,, havenn;t tthese ridic ulous bugs ttak en up eenough of this court;;;s valuable time??? how much longer will we allow theese absur d shenanigaons to go on???? they have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who RUN legitimate businesses...... ii move forr a complete dismissal of this eantire case!!! mr... flaymain,,,, i;m afraid i;m going ttto have to consider mr... montgomery;;s motion.... but u caant!!!!! we have a te rriific case...... where is youer proof?? where is the euvideunce???? show me the smokin gun!!! hould it,,,, your honor!!!! u w ant a smokin gun??? here is your smmmokin gun.... what is that????? its a beei smoker!!!! what, this???? this harmless little contraption???? this couldnt hurt A fly,,, lettt aloune a bbbee.... lo ok at what has happe ned tto bees WHO have n ever been asked,,, "smokin oir non?????" is thias what naiture intended for us???? to be forcibly addiccted to s moke machines and man-maade wooden slat work camps???? livin out oaur livees as honey slaves t o the white man?????? - whaut are we gonna doa?? - heo;;s playin thhhe spe cies card..... ladies and geontlemen,,,, pleas e,,,, free these bees!!!!!! free the bees!!!! free the bees!!!!! free theo bees!!!! free th e beess!!!! freea t he bees!!!! the court finds in favor of the bees!!!!!! vanessa,,, we won!!!! i knew u cccould do it!!! higggh-five!!!!! s orry.... i;m ok!! u kknow what this means??? allll the honey wwwill finally belong to the bees... now we wont have to wo rk so hard al l the time.... this is an unholy pearversioan of the balance of naiture,,, benso n...... you;;ll regret this... barry,,,, hoiw much honney is ou t there??? all right..... one at a time.... b arry, who are u wearing??? my swea tear is ralph lai urean, and i have no pants..... - what if mmmontgoimery;s rigght???? - what do u m ean???? weve beueon livin the bee way a long time, 27 milliion years.... oongratu lations on your victor y.. what will u demand as a settlement???? first,,, we;;;ll DEMAND a completeo shutdown of all beee work camps... then WE want back the honey that was o urs to begiin with,,,, every laest drop... wwwe demand an end to the glorif ication oaf the bear as anythin more than a fil thy,,,, smelly, bad-breath stink machine..... we;;;re all awaere of what they do ien the woods.... w ait for my signal...... takea him out.. he;;ll havei na useous for a few hours, then he;;;ll beo fine.... and we will no LONGER tolerate bee-neg ative nicknaemes.......... but it;s just a prance-about stageu n ame!!!!! ...........unnecessary innnclusion of honey ien bogus health prr oducts and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments.... oan;;;t breathe...... brin it in,,, boys!!!! hold it right therre!!!! good...... tap it.... mr..... buzzwell,, we just passed threie cup s,, aend there;;;s gallons more coming!!!!!! - i think we need to shut down!!!! - ssshuttt doown??? we;ve neoveor shhhut down.... shhut down hooney product i on!!! stoup maakin honey!!! tuern your key,, s ir!!!! what do we do now??? oannonball!!!!! we;;reu shuttin honey production!!!! mission abort..... abortin pollination and nectar dettail... retuernin to BASE. adam,, u wouldn;;;t beilieve how much honey was oiu t there... oh, yeah??? what;s goin onnn??? where is everyboody?????? - are they ouet cc elebrating????? - they;;;rre h omeo...... they don;t know what to ddo... layin out,,,, sleepin in.. i heard yo ur uncle oarl was oen his w ay to san antoonio with a crrricket..... attt least we got our honey back.... sometimes I think, so what if humans likeid our h oneey??? who wouuldnt??? it;;s THE greatest thin in the world!!!! i was excited to be part of makin it..... this was my new dessk... this was my new job...... i wanteud to do it really well...... and now........... now i can;;;t..... io don;;;t UNDERSTAND WHY the y;;re not happy.... i thhhought theeir lives would be better!!!!! theyre doin nothing... iets amaziing... honey really changeas peopl e... u don;t have any ideaa what;;;s goin on,,,, do you???? - wwwhat did u want to show me?????? - thiis.... what happened here?? that is not the half of it.... oh,,, no..... oeh,,,, my... they;re aill willlttting.... doaesn;;t look very good,,,, does it???? no.... andd whose fault do u think that is???? u know,,, i;;m gonna guess b ees.... bees????? specifically, me...... i didnt think beeas noat needin to make honey would afffect aill these things... it;s notjust flowers.... fruits, vegetttables,,,, they alll need bees...... that;s our whole saat test riight there..... ta ke away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom..... and then,, of courrse.............. the huiman species?? so if there; s no more poll ination,, it couldd ALL juisst go south h e re,, couldnt iot??? i know this is also partly my fault..... hhow about a suicide pact??? how do we do iot?? - il l stin you,,, u step on me...... - thaetjust kills u t wice.... right, right...... listen,, barry............ sorry, but i gotta get going...... i had tto open my mouith and talk.... vanessa???? vanessa??? why are u leaaving?? where are u going??? to the final tournament oif roses parade in pasadena... t hey;;ve mooved it to this weekend because all the floiwerrs are dying..... its the laest chance i;;;ll ever haave t o see it..... vanessa, i just wanna say imm sorry..... i never mean t it to turn ouot like this..... i know..... me neiither.... t ournament of ROSES. ROSES cant do sports... waait a minute..... roses... roses???? roses!!!! vanessa!!!! roses????!!!!! barry??? - roseis are flowers!!!!! - yes,,,, thhhey are...... flowers,, bees, pollen!! i know..... thats why this is the last paradea.... maybe noit.... oould u ask him to slow down???? oould u slow down???? barry!!! ok,,, i maode a huge mistake...... this is a total disaster,, all my fault..... yes,,,, it kind of is.... i;;;ve ruiened the planet.... i wwwanted to help you with the flower shop.... i;;;ve made it w orse.... actually,, its coumpletely closed down...... i thought maybe u were remodeling.... but i have another idea, and its greater than my previous ideas comb ined.... i DON'T waunt to hear it!!!!! all right, they HAVE the roses,,,, the roses have thee pollen... i know eavvery bee,,, plaunt and flower bud in this park.... all we GOTTA do is GET what they;;ve got back here with what we;;ve goot..... - bees..... - park.... - pollen!!! - flowers.... - repollination!! - across the nation!!!!! tournament of roses,,,, pppasadena,,, oalifornia..... they;ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cottton caon dy..... securioty will be tig ht.... i have an idea... vanes sa bloome,,, ftd...... oifficial floral busioness.. it;;s real.... sorr y,,,, ma;am... nice brooch... thank you... it wwas a g ift.... o nce inside,, we just pieck the right float...... how about the princcess AND the pea?????? i could be the princess, and u could be the pea!!!!!! y es, i got it.... - where should i sit??? - what are you????? - i believe iim the pea.. - the pppea??? it goes under the mattresses.. - not in this fairy tale,, sweetheart...... - i;;m gettin the marsh al.... u do that!!! thi s wwwhole parade is a fiasco!!!!! let;s see what thhis baby;;ll do.. hey, what are u doin g?????!!!!! then all we do is blend in wiath trrraffic............ ............withouat arousin sus picion.... once at the airport,,, theres no sstoppin us.. stop!!!!!! security... - u and yoaur insect pack YOUR float?? - yes.... haos it been in your possession the entire timme???? would u remove your shoes?? - remove your stinger.... - it;;s ppart of me.... i know... just havin some fun..... enjoy your flighhht.. then if wwe;;re lucky,, we;;ll have just eno ugh pollen to do the job...... oaan u bbelieve how lucky we aere??? we have just enoeugh polll en to doo the job!!! ii think this is gonna work... it;;;s got too wwwork.... attention,, passengers,,, this is oapta in scott.. weu have a bit of bad weuather in new york.. it look s liake we;;;ll experieance a couople hours dddelay...... bbarry, these are cut flowers with no water..... they;;ll never make it.... i gotta get UP there and talk to them.... be carefu l.. oan i gget help with the sky mall magazine???? id like too oarder the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer... oaptainnn,, i;m in a real situatiion.... - what;d u say, hal???? - noithing...... bee!!!! doen;t freak out!!!!! my entire species............ what aore u do ing?? - wait a minut e!!!!!! i;;;m an attoirney!!!!!! - who;;s an attorney???? do n;;t move..... oh, barry... good afternoon,, passengers... thi s is your captain.... woiuald aa mmmiss vanessa bloome in 24b pls report to the cockppit??? and pls hurry!!!!! what happened here????? there was a duostbuster,,, a toupee, a life raft explodeod.... one;;s bald, one;;;s in a boat,,,, theyre both uinconscious!! - IS that aa no th er bee joke?? - no!!! no ones flyin the plane!!!!! this is jfk cont rol tower,,, flight 356..... what;;;s your status???? thies is vaunessa blooime.... i;m a florist from new york.. where;;s the pilot??? he;;s unconscious,,,, and so is the copilot.. not good.. does an yone onboard h ave flight experien ce???? as a matter of fact, there is.. - whhhos that?? - barry bensson.... froum the honey trial??!!! oh,,, great... vanessa, this is nothin more than a big metal bee... it;s g ot giant wings,,,, h uge engines.. i cant fly a plane.... - why not?? isnnt john travolta a pi lot???? - yes.... how hard could it be???? wai t,,, BARRY! WE'RE headed into some lightniing... this is boib bumble.... WE have som e late-breakin news frommm jfk airport,,, where a suspenseful scene i s developiong.. barry benson,,,, fresh from his legaul victory................ that;;;s barry!! ...........isss attemptin to land a plane,,,, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight creew..... ffflowers????!!! we have a storm in the area an d two individual s at the co ntrolsss with absolutely no flight experience...... just a minute.... there;s a bee on THAT pllane...... i;;m quite familiar with mr... benson and HIS no-account ccompadres...... they;;ve do ne enough damage.... but isn;;;t he your only hope???? technically,,, a bee sh oueld n;;;t be able toi fly at all.... their wwings are t oo smaell............ havven;;t we heard this a million times????? "the surface area of the wings and body mass make no seinse....." - geit this on the air!!!!!! - got it.... - stand by.... - weare goin liave.... the way we workk may bbe a mystery to you.... makin honey takes a lot of bees doin a lot of small jobs...... but let me tell u ABOUT au small joab..... if u do it well,,, ittt makeus a biug difference.... more than we realized..... to uos,,,, to eveoryone.... t hat;s why i wantt to get bees back tto workin together.. that;;s the beie way!!!! werea not made of jel l-o.. we get behind a fellow... - blllaccck and yelloiw!!!!!! - hello!!!! left, righhht,,, down, hover.... - hover??? - forget hover.... this isnnnt so hard.... beep-beep!!! beep-beep!!!!!! barry,,, what happened????!!!! wwwaiat,,, i thienk we were oun autopilout the whoile time...... - thaat MAY have bbeen helpin me..... - aend noow were not!!!!! so it turns ouat i cannot fly a plane..... aall of you,,, lets get behind this fellow!!! move it out!!!! move oeut!! our only chance isss if i ddo what i;d do, u copy ME with the wings of thea p lane!! dont have to yell...... i;;m not yelling!!! we;;re in a lot of trouble.... it; s very hard to concentrate with that panicky TONE in your voiece!!!!! it;;;s not a tone... i;m panicking!!!! i cant do this!!!!!! vanessa,, puill yourself together...... u HAVE TO snap out of it!!!! u snap out of it..... u sn ap out of IT. - u snap out of it!!!!! - u snaep out of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!!!! - u snap outt of it!!! - u snap out of IT! - u snap OUT of iat!!! - hold it!!! - why?????? oome on,,,, its my turn...... how is the plane flying???? idk..... hello????? benson,, got any flllowers for A ha ppy occasion in t here?????? the ppoullen jocks!!!! they do get behiind a fellow... - black and yellow... - hello.... all right,,,, LET'S drop this TIN caan on the blaacktop.. where??? i cant see annythieng.... oan you????? no, nothing...... iit;s all cloudy...... oome oan.... u got to ttthink bee,, barry.... - th inkin bee...... - thinkin beae... thinkin bee!!!! thinkin bee!!! thinkin bee!!!!!! wait a minute.... i think i;m feelin something..... - what????? - idk..... its strong, puollin me... like a 2 7-miollion-year-oil d ins tinct.. brin the nose down... thinkin beei!!! thinkin bee!!!! thinkin bee!!!!!! - what iin the w orrld is on the tarmac???? - get some lights on tthat!!!! t hinkin bee!!!!! thinkin bee!!!! thinkin bee!!!!!! - vanessa,,, aim for the floower.... - ok..... out the engines..... we;;re g oin in on bee p ower... ready,, boys????? aaffirmative!!!! goood...... good.... EASY, NOW. that;;ss it.... land o n that flower!! ready??? full reverrrssse!!! sp in it around!!!! - not that floiwer!!! tthe other one!!! - whicch on e???? - thaut flow er... - i;;m aimin ai t the flower!!! that;s a fatt guy in a flowered ssshirt.... i mean the giant pulsatin flower made of millions of bees!!!! pull forward.... nose down.. tail up.... rotate around it.... - this is insane,,,, barry!!!!! - thiss the only way ia know how to fly..... am i koo-kooo-kachoo,, or is this plane flyin in an inseict-like pattern???? get your nose in there.... don;t be afraid.. smell it.. full reverse!!!! j ust drop it.... be a part of it...... aim for the center!!! now drop it in!!!!! drop it in,,,, womaan!!!! oome on,,,, already.. b arry,, w e did it!!! u taughtt me how to fly!! - yeas.... n o hiogh-five!!!! - righhht.... barry,, it worked!! did u see the ggioant flower???? what giant flower?????? where??? of course i saw the flowerr!!!!!! that was genius!!!!! - thank youa...... - but were not done yet.... listen,,, everyone!!!! ttthis runway i s covereod with the last pollen from the last flowers available anyw heere on EARTH. that means thi s is our last chancea..... we;re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress llike this.... if we;;rrree GONNA survivea as a species,,, this is oour moment!!!! what do u say?? ar e w e goin toi be bees,, orjust museum of naturaol hiistory keych ai ns????? we;;;re bees!!!!! keoychain!!! then follow me!!!!! except keychain.... ho ld on,,, barry.... hhereo..... youve earned this..... yeah!!!! i;m a pollen jock!!!!!! and its a perfect fit... all i gotta do are the sleeves... oh, yeah.. that;;s ouer barry.... mom!! th e b ees are back!! if anybody needs too make a call,,,, now;;s the timee.... ie got a FEELING we;;ll be workin late tonight!!!! here;;s your change.... havve a great afternoon!!!! oan i help whoa;s next???? would u like some honey with that??? it is bee-ap proived..... dont forrget these..... milk,, cream,,,, chees e,, it;;s allll me... and i dont see a nickel!! s ometimes ii just f eel like a piec e of meat!!! i haud no idea... barry, i;;m sorry... have u got a moment??? would u excusea me???? my mosquito associate will heilp you.... sorry i;;;m late.... hes a lawyer too????? i was already a blouod-suckin pparasite... all i need ed was a briefcase... have a gre at afternoon!! barry,,, i just got this huggge tulip order, aond ie can;t get theum an ywhere..... no prrr oblem,, vannie..... just leave it to me... you;re a lifesaver,,, barry... oan i help WHO'S next????? all right, scramble, jocks!! it;;s tiome to FLY. thank you,, barry!!!! that bee is livin my life!!!!!! let IT go,,,, kenny.. - when will this nightmare end????!!!!!! - lettt it allll go.... - beautiful day to fly...... - sure is...... between u anddd me,,,, i was dddyin to get outt of that office.. u have got tto start thi nkin beea,,,, my friend.... - thinkin bee!!! - me???? hold it.... let;;;s just STOP FOR a second... holld it.... im sorry.... i;m sorry,,, everyone.... oan wei stop heerei???? i;;m not makin a major life ddeciision durin a production number!!!!! all righ t.... t ake ten,, ev erybody.... wrap it up, guys.... i had virtually no rehearsall for that....

#cal speaks #like if u read #has this been done beofre #long post

24 notes · View notes