#He was a lot lighter even if he still bears many characteristics from his current self

[imaginaryboughkeeper]

Imagine getting thrown back through some time travel nonsense and meeting young Dain tho

[theaveragekenyan]

Blinded by your Grace...

In terms of Europe’s best looking Women (Fittest Birds), this is how I would rate them within a top 5.

1 = Sweden (standard stereotype, but essentially any of those Nordic Scandinavian hotties)

2 = Republic of Ireland (the jet black or fiery red hair and the feckin accent)

3 = Italy (oodles of class and they can knock up an amazing salad in seconds)

4 = Great Britain (not the ones faggin it outside school waiting for their kids)

5 = Australia (Eurovision Song Contest Rules)

Of course, the above list is shamefully discriminatory and sexist, it’s not even a bit of fun anymore #metoo, I just I enjoy the stereotypical nature of it all, #bantz I believe is the excuse these days.

I just did a Google search of the above topic, except I widened it to ‘worldwide best looking women’ and the top hits include the above 5 countries within their lists, except new countries like Brazil, Philippines, Venezuela, Thailand and USA are added, well done to those countries, excellent DNA’ing.

So, something I’d like to point out, NO African countries feature in the lists.

Ok, there was one list that included Angola, but that was the only African country featured in just one list from many.

In the featured countries, NO black faces represent their beauty, Brazil is about as dark as you’re going to get, but essentially there was no recognition of diversity from their respective country. Each country’s ‘most beautiful face’ is depicted by a “typical” comfortably indigenous (whatever that represents) white looking woman from their country, sorry Archie, Naomi and Nathalie, but you’re not the considered look of Britain and that also is same for any other country with diverse genetics.

The world has proliferated so much these days, so for example, what does a British woman look like? That’s of course my liberalism shining through, but unfortunately for the majority of people in the UK, they still consider Victoria Beckham or Fiona Bruce as their default British Women, sorry no blacks, browns or yellow’s please, we’re British.

When I’m back home in the UK, I especially like to study the Black women I see, I like to see how they compose themselves, how they talk and especially how they look. I know this sounds super creepy, but this is of course as I live in Kenya, so I like to see how the women compare to what I have here.

The main reason for this is that Kenyan women are truly beautiful.

Now I come from a very small village in the UK and from the three schools I attended, they all represented very typical demographics for rural England.

Primary School = 40 children - 0 BAME.

I was the brownest in the school, although we did have three children of Indian origin move into the village, but not in my school year, they took over the village shop, obviously.

Secondary School = 500 children – 3 BAME

Upper School – 1000 Children – 10 BAME

In each case, roughly about 1% were, you know “one of them”

Now I know times have changed and that area has become more diversified, but back in the late 80’s, I grew up with pretty much no other interesting faces other than pale zitty white ones.

It wasn’t until I moved to London in 1997 that opened my eyes to such a variety of faces and furthermore when I moved to Johannesburg in 2011 when I saw the full concentration of South African Women, and it was an eye opener to say the least.

I remember walking around Sandton City Mall and thinking to myself, in such high concentration, this must be where the best looking African Women on the continent are. Then I moved to Kenya and realized there are beautiful looking women everywhere you go.

I’m think it’s fairly safe to say, without any research or any factual evidence sought that my next assumption is correct. Kenyan Women’s beauty stems from a gene pool that, on the whole, has had little genetic dilution.

For many years, most of the reproduction has remained inter-tribal and only in recent years has outer-tribal reproduction become more acceptable. So, identifying features and characteristics have remained particular.

You see a lot of defining tribal looks and characteristics, that with a keen eye, can determine where the person originates, whether it be Western, Coastal, Central, Northern or Southern. This is a game my wife loves to play. 

Yes, this happens in certain cities in England like Brighton, Liverpool, Bristol etc, but it’s largely down to make-up, clothes and style defining a look, rather than a type of nose or eye shape, I mean perhaps a “big gob” in Newcastle, but that’s about it.

It was only until I came to Africa that I noticed how many different skin shades there are. From Albino right through to dark blue-black, there’s a colour for everyone.

Sadly though, many Kenyans believe a lighter skin is more beautiful, so skin lightening creams and treatments have become a thing and have generated an overall negative effect on skin tone empowerment.

Most of the billboards here, featuring ladies, are almost white. They are presented with a polished skin, highlighted and dodged, removing just about all of their darker tones.

Therefore, darker girls grow up thinking they’re not as attractive, they’ll have less career opportunities, they won’t get the best men and so on. This then creates a troubling discriminatory outlook, which occurrs on a daily basis, not just in Kenya, but throughout Africa.

However, when it comes to Kenyan Women being attracted to men, there’s one particular skin tone many find appealing, the white one.

There are plenty of white men in Kenya, myself included who’ve seen the Kenyan beauty and thought, Well Jambo!

I’m not being modest when I say that my partner and I have an equal amount of attractiveness, (she’s way hotter than me) we’re of a similar age and have all the classic similarities to have fallen in love, but when looking around in Kenya you start to see many other couples where their...well...their similarities must be very unique to them.

I’m talking about “Sugar Daddies”, of course I am. 

I love to see these couples as they are clearly so happy together.

He has a smoking hot-assed chick pushing his shopping trolley, whilst she can add into that trolley whatever the freak she wants, because she ain’t paying, PARTY!!!

It's so blatant and obvious what the arrangement is, yet many people find it embarrassing or jocular. People definitely like to judge and be jealous, I prefer to just give a little condescending nod and wink showing nothing but pure respect.

We’re talking 70-80 year old men with 25-30 year old women. The men are wearing their cardigans and orthopedic sunglasses, whilst the women are dressed like an extra from a Jay-Z promo, when in fact, of course, she should be wearing a nurse’s uniform. You’ll see them in restaurants staring into space as he sips on his Tusker, whilst she’s avoiding eye contact from all the younger playboys drooling over her.

Of course, it’s not just the white blokes that get to play Sugar Daddy. Many young Kenyan women find attraction in older men with a closer skin tone to theirs.

Again, for the women, this is purely down to the money and for men the sex, the perfect arrangement, everybody wins.

The older men are called “Sponsors” and they provide anything from Cars and Houses to Ugali and Cheap Booze and there exists a variety of financial classes within. It’s the polygamous society of Kenya that flexes its muscle, and I find it fascinating how it completely goes against everything the average Kenyan preaches in church, but then again the average Kenyan is just as big as the biggest hypocrite in the world.

Kenyan’s love stereotypes, that’s because for the majority of the time the stereotypes are completely correct.

The stereotypically looking Kenyan woman for a white guy is slim, petite, peachy butt-ocks, anti-gravity boobs, not too short and bearing mildly western facial features.

This type of woman is known as “Muzungu Bait”.

It’s not clear how the Kenyan women discover they are “Muzungu Bait”, perhaps there’s a “Finishing School” for this type of lady, but make no mistake there is a look and any lady possessing such features knows they have a permit to flirt with white men.

In the opposite stereotype, It can be said that, Kenyan men generally prefer a heavier lady. 

I feel sorry for the chubbier, larger girls, I can only assume they have no right to flirt with white guys and they are the ones who can only be taken by the Kenyan men.

One comment I regularly hear, is that white men come to Kenya and steal the best looking women.

Steal, STEAL???, like the women have been kidnapped and are being held hostage. It’s such a ridiculous and humungous insult to women, it’s shocking.

I mean the fact we can cook, clean, and tell stories about mid-nineties heavy metal should never be overlooked.

I think what is it though, to the average Kenyan, Women are considered property, something that’s purchased. I know this has a lot to the doury marital system of buying women with animal livestock, but mostly women are treated as property, or 6 cows and 4 goats in most instances. So perhaps when a white man talks to a lady on her own level and doesn’t feel the urge to treat her in such a proprietary way, then I’m sure it has to have an appeal.

There is a downside though and a fascinating murder case is currently in the news and it’s not the first time such a murder has taken place. Now though, Kenyan media outlets can see views, likes and share values in real time therefore they can quantify a news story and suck it until it’s dry, so that explains why the current ‘Praying Mantis’ story is so accessible, because everybody wants a piece of it.

Unlike the Kenyan News agencies, I won’t go down the illegal route of naming and shaming and spilling out every detail rendering any Jury Court irrelevant, but this is how the story went.

Rich White Man murdered by his younger Kenyan Wife with possible involvement from her associates.

This is not the first time this has happened and not the last time.

It happens enough for it to be almost like another air strike in the middle east, erm yes, how many properties? which tribe was the woman? how much money is involved? where do they live? Sadly, the taken life of the man is overlooked and the story just fades away until the next replica story comes along. It’s not just Rich White Men though, Rich Black Men disappear as well, you see the connection? Let’s just say their are many wealthy Kenyan widows getting away with murder. 

Sadly, the average Kenyan has a different outlook to women, it is changing, but still, women are viewed here as second class, need to obey, generally a subordinate creature. Yet, they are the baby makers, the food providers, the water carriers, the planners and the total backbone of Kenyan society.

I think the average Kenyan needs to be far more respectful and understand just how beautiful the women are in this country. I can 100% vouch for that, all I got to do is hope I don’t end up hidden in a septic tank one day.