#He says [in an incident completely separate to the psychological observations one] that he's been 'observing her behavior' since
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tags from @twlvie : EXAAAAAAACTLY. People need to move beyond writing/portraying Tuvok as just 'Stock Vulcan' or 'Janeway's Long Suffering Friend' because he actually has several things deeply wrong with him that perfectly compliment the several things deeply wrong with her and analyzing their relationship is very fun. Alot of the time I see him portrayed as just 'Vulcan Who is Wise'/'Janeway's Long Suffering Friend' in fandom but his actual personality means so much to me because Janeway DOES like him very much and he DOES return those feelings to the point that he calls her his friend several times [despite claiming that Vulcans don't have friends], calls her 'irreplaceable', allows her to touch him but rarely touches her back. Janeway says she's never minded the distance between her and her crew before the delta quadrant. All of these things are interesting. They have such a strange and specific combination of intimacy and distance in their relationship due to their near consummate professionalism and commitment to rules, regulations, what they should and should not do interpersonally which they both stick to like a code of honor regardless of their own personal desires. Tuvok must behave a certain way as he is Vulcan and Janeway must behave a certain way as she is Captain. They're both sort of looking to one another for reassurance but that gaze has become corrupted wherein Tuvok agrees with her because she's the captain [this comforts him, if it's an order from the captain it's 'right' to carry it out] and Janeway takes his agreement as a moral thumbs up [this comforts her, if the approval comes from Tuvok it must be the right thing to do] even though he's stated and demonstrated to others that he'd follow her orders regardless. Tuvok never thinks of himself as suffering beside a silly reckless human - it's implied that this may have been the case when they first met but they are decades past that point now. Now they are going to kill that goddamn whale together if it's the last thing they do. "If it's you, I can do anything" they think, looking at each other, and a finger on the monkey's paw begins to curl.
People honestly portray Tuvok as far too "rolling his eyes, reluctantly going along with Janeway's silly little shenanigans" - he's literally so serious about being right there with her on every decision she makes. Janeway's like "I'm going to stay behind if the ship blows up" and Tuvok's like "I'm staying with you." Janeway's like "I'm going to deliver every member of the Equinox crew into the jaws of death via an alien revenge massacre" and Tuvok protests a grand total of one time before being fully on the bridge assisting her. He was the only one with her when she made the decision to honor the caretaker's wishes and save the Ocampa, dooming them all. He was willing to get court marshalled in order to fulfill a wish she couldn't grant by her own hand: Get them home [no matter what happens to me] <- wherein 'me' is Tuvok. This was the same wish that spurred him forward when he had to leave her on that planet and everyone left thought him cold for trying to fulfill it without her when in his mind it was akin to a dying wish, the last thing she'd ever express to him: Get them home [no matter what happens to me.] <- wherein 'me' is Janeway. He told Seven that the golden rule to follow is that the captain is "ALWAYS RIGHT" <- (His ACTUAL words) and when Seven asks if the captain should be followed even if someone KNOWS she's wrong he says "Perhaps." This man is perhaps the most ride or die dude in the universe about Janeway. Despite her labeling him her 'moral compass' he is by NO means impartial or unbiased. He'd defend her to his last breath. He canonically makes detailed psychological observations about her and has for years. He accounts for her luck when calculating the success of certain plans. It's implied in 'Twisted' that Janeway typically listens to Tuvok's suggestions and follows them nearly without fail - to the point that he's surprised and obviously irritated when Chakotay doesn't. Despite this they've been inside one another's quarters so infrequently that Tuvok can remember each instance. They call each other "Captain" and "Mr. Tuvok" even though they've known each other for twenty years. There's something wrong with them.
#Tuvok/Janeway#Tuvok#Kathryn Janeway#who's DOING it like THEM???? NO ONE!!! <3#'he WANTS to be there' <- EXAAACTLY!!!! he was literally jealous of Chakotay for being her right hand instead of him#Also Janeway is not a silly little reckless woman stumbling around who the boys shake their heads at - it must be said#<- the other dimension of how wrong this interpretation of their relationship is#He respects her a great deal and that respect is returned in full. He wouldn't follow her if he thought she was silly. When he meets people#he thinks are silly he gets so irritated - this is SERIOUS to him#He says [in an incident completely separate to the psychological observations one] that he's been 'observing her behavior' since#Voyager got stuck in the delta quadrant [the psych obsv were happening pre-delta quad]. WHy is he doing this????#I know [general you] are gonna say like 'security reasons' but I KNOOOWW he's just doing this with Janeway I know in my HEART this is true#Tuvok says Janeway can be reckless and stubborn and unorthodox but he also seems to respect those traits#calling them both her greatest strengths and weaknesses as a leader. aaagh imsorry I just love them so much#They're so INTERESTING and it's so BORING to portray them as like: Bumbling Woman Is Reckless and Wise Man Shake His Head#would [general you] delve deeper into whatever weird shit's going on with Tuvok & Janeway if she was a man or he was white?#I simply MUST ask#I loved these tags they hit the nail on the head so beautifully. They're gonna catch that WHALE!!!!#Also please don't take this as me saying they don't do stupid reckless shit together - they absolutely one million percent do#<3 But to me more than Janeway being 'reckless' she has a 'ruthless' - ness to her that is very compelling#a double edged sword <3 she's GONNNAAA kill that WHALE and Tuvok's gonna be there every step of the way#fandom underrepresents how serious Janeway is#both she and Tuvok have that weird 'too close but too distant' thing going on that's so difficult to describe and I love it <3#chara analysis
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Essay: On Michael Myers and Muteness
A little foreword: This essay is in response to a sentiment I’ve noticed circling in the slasher community for some time. While nobody, to my knowledge, has been outright accused or attacked about this, I do find it concerning how eager some are to spew hate when confronted with people who don’t share their specific ideas of how a fictional character should be viewed—especially when those ideas have very little ground to stand on.
This essay will cover common sources of psychological mutism, and examine how they apply (or don’t apply!) to Michael’s character, to determine the most likely cause for his mutism.
Disclaimer: I have no formal education in the field of psychology. All information presented is taken from case studies and the dsm-5.
Let’s begin with some definitions to clear up a few misconceptions.
Selective Mutism.
Selective mutism is defined as the consistent failure to speak in specific social situations in which there is an expectation for speech, despite speaking in other situations. (DSM-5, pg. 195)
Selective mutism can be diagnosed only when a child has an established capacity to speak in some social situations (e.g., typically at home). Selective mutism is not the consequence of trauma, neglect or abuse—it is strictly an anxiety disorder.
Progressive Mutism.
Selective mutism may develop into progressive mutism. (Note—progressive mutism does not appear to be mentioned in the DSM-5, but it did show up multiple times while I was researching selective mutism. Take the following with a grain of salt.) Progressive mutism is when a child becomes mute in all settings, with all people, even at home. It occurs due to heightened stress within their environment, or by way of negative reinforcement—for example, if an adult tries to help the child out by “speaking for them” during an episode of mutism.
Traumatic mutism.
Traumatic mutism is sudden mutism following a traumatic event (e.g., the death of a loved one).
Note: There are a great many other causes of mutism resulting from psychological factors, ranging from autistic spectrum disorder, to dissociative disorders, to schizophrenia—but considering how we don’t know enough about Michael’s backstory to say whether he is affected by any of that, I’ll be staying away from explanations requiring heavy speculation.
Alright! We have our definitions. Now, let’s see if any of these would apply to Michael’s case.
(Of course, the only interpretation of the character where his muteness even needs an explanation is the “Michael has a mental illness” take—which, again, is just one possible way of many to view him. The mindset that Michael must be unwillingly mute excludes the most canon-compliant take on the character—that he is just evil. Obviously, a Michael who is “just evil” chooses not to communicate with others because he doesn’t fucking care.)
Option one:
Michael is selectively mute. He suffers from an anxiety disorder. He is physically unable to speak under certain circumstances, but, by definition, he is able to speak under other, more comfortable circumstances.
Why it isn’t likely: There is no evidence in canon to suggest that Michael suffers from an anxiety disorder. Zero. You simply won’t find it. If you want to label Michael as ‘selectively mute”, by all means, do so—everybody has the right to their headcanons! But please, understand what you are saying by using that label; that Michael does not suffer from total mutism. There are situations where he can speak, and there are situations where he cannot.
Option two:
Michael is selectively mute, and his muteness has advanced into progressive mutism.
Why it isn’t likely: Again, for this type of mutism to occur, Michael must have first had selective mutism. We are not told enough of Michael’s background to speculate about whether he suffers from any sort of anxiety disorder, and I doubt we ever will be. While this explanation for Michael’s mutism is technically possible, to treat it as immutable fact would be nothing short of dishonest.
Option three:
Michael is totally mute as a result of trauma. Whether from the shock of murdering his sister, or being suddenly separated from his family, some traumatic event triggered an episode of mutism that Michael never recovered from. He is now permanently mute.
Why it isn’t likely: Let’s get one thing straight—this view of mutism is a Hollywood bastardization.
The trope in which a character is rendered permanently mute due to trauma/psychological factors may be popular in movies and television, but in real medical cases, this idea holds little merit.
“While cases of mutism have occurred as a result of a child being abused or emotionally or physically traumatized, it seems to be very rare. I have not yet seen such a case, where a child spoke normally until a traumatic incident and then stopped speaking.” (https://www.selectivemutismfoundation.org/knowledge-center/common-myths)
“While it is possible for a child to become mute after a traumatic experience, usually the child avoids talking about aspects of the trauma itself, rather than becoming completely silent.” (https://childmind.org/guide/teachers-guide-to-selective-mutism/what-is-not-sm/)
Of course, this is not to say that trauma-based mutism does not exist. It is a documented occurrence, and it inarguably does.
However; to insist that Michael must have been rendered completely, irreversibly mute due to childhood trauma, and that his mutism persisted for the next 55 years, (2018 Michael is 61,) is not a medically feasible claim. This trope works fine in a fictional setting, but please, acknowledge that this attitude is more rooted in fiction than fact. I scoured case-studies on psychological mutism for hours, and was unable to find a single occurrence of something comparable happening. It is statistically more likely that a person who is mute for this long is making a conscious effort not to communicate. Which brings us to the final explanation:
Option four:
Michael can speak, but willfully chooses not to.
It should not come as a surprise that this is the only explanation for Michael’s mutism that can be sourced by canon material. Dr. Sartain, whose entire job it was to observe Michael’s behaviors, concluded that his patient was indeed capable of speech, and that his mutism was self-imposed. In all brutal honesty, the mental gymnastics required to get around this statement is pretty damn ridiculous; and to knock others for not performing the same mental gymnastics is even more ridiculous.
This explanation is further evidenced by the 1978 novelization of Halloween. (Which, I don’t personally view as canon, but I know of some who do, so it is worth mentioning.) In the novel, Michael continues to speak normally up to a year after his institutionalization. There is no mention of a traumatic event at the sanitarium that might have triggered his muteness; the closest we get is the near-death of a girl at a Halloween party, but it is very heavily implied that Michael was responsible for that incident—and all because the girl beat him at musical chairs.
Simply due to the evidence we have, this option is the most likely explanation for Michael’s mutism. (For those interested, I go more in-depth about this interpretation of his mutism in this essay.)
But! All of this speculation is ignoring the fact that Michael Myers is a fictional character. His behaviors cannot be studied in a medical setting, by a medical professional—meaning that he cannot be diagnosed with psychological mutism in the first place. If you are one of the individuals trying to claim that Michael is undeniably afflicted with any of these forms of mutism, or any other mental illness, etc. You are wrong. That is not how psychiatric diagnosis works. The absolute best we can do is speculate.
So here it is, plain and simple:
If you hold the belief that Michael Myers must be fully, 100% incapable of speech due to psychological factors, and insist that your viewpoint is the only valid one, not only are you ignoring the ambiguity of this 40-year-old franchise, not only are you ignoring the massive potential for individual interpretation, but you are also fundamentally wrong. You are perpetuating false, or highly simplified information about psychological mutism, and you are trying to apply that false information in an ambiguous fictional setting. Please get off your high horse.
The takeaway: Michael’s mutism has many possible explanations.
Due to the fact that his background is not extensive enough to supply us with a set-in-stone answer, it is irresponsible to insist that any explanation is “the right one”.
So headcanon Michael as mute. Headcanon him as fully capable of speech. Headcanon him anywhere in between. I can’t believe this needs to be said, but you have the right to enjoy this ambiguous piece of fiction however you want—and nobody can tell you that you are wrong for doing so.
Thanks for reading.
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becoming human | chapter two.
pairing: cops!bts x android!reader (as in, ot7 x reader, but may change) fandom: bts warnings: detroit:become human!au ; mentions of murder ; blood ; language genre: crime ; angst ; crack ; (possibly smut) word count: 2.2k+ previous: 1
summary: the crime rate of seoul has been rising rapidly these past weeks and nobody could deny that there was more to it than gangs or the likes. something was brewing that not even the famous bangtan boys could solve, a unit specifically formed for hunting down criminals that most couldn’t. so when even they couldn’t find out what was going on, the department decided to add a new member to the team that would hopefully be able to solve the mysteries behind those crimes. what bangtan hadn’t expected however, was that their new member would not be human, but one of the androids sent by CyberTech.
a/n: fuck, I am so sorry i haven’t updated this in so long, but today it is finally time my friends. I hope you enjoy it ♥
“I don't like this, Namjoon,” Yoongi leaned back so he could look at you through the window that separated the meeting room and the office. You were standing where they had left you, not doing much, except for staring back at him. And that kinda creeped him out, made him shudder really, even though you were smiling, “Sending an android to solve a crime that an android committed? This is like having a family member of a victim on a case. And we all know that never ends well.”
“You heard what she said, though,” Jeongguk spoke next, slightly spinning in the chair, “Androids don't feel things. They don't have a connection to other androids.”
“Well, if these.. deviants hadn't felt anything, they wouldn't have murdered someone, would they?” Jin walked up and down the office.
Point taken.
They didn't know whether it was an error in their programming or whether something else happened that made these androids snap. But whatever it was, it had to be dealt with quickly, because with the number of androids living in Seoul, this could end in a massacre.
And while they all discussed and fought about you, Jimin, still being slightly drunk, walked out to you with a huge smile.
“I'm Jimin,” he extended his hand.
“Yes, I know that Park Jimin,” you took his hand and shook it, “Would you like something for the hangover that is going to occur in one hour and twenty seven minutes?”
“Woha,” his jaw dropped and he turned around to his team members with a laugh, “Guys! She's really good!”
“What the..-” Taehyung got up with a frown, “What's he doing?”
They all walked out towards you and Jimin, eyes wandering from him to you.
“Your partner has been consuming a lot of alcohol lately. If he keeps this up, he's going to need a new liver in exactly eight years and seven months.”
“I would have known that without being an android,” Yoongi muttered under his breath, before he took a step forward and eyed you up and down, “Okay, (Y/N). Tell me then.. how are you going to help us solve this case?”
“I can scan and analyze a crime scene, reconstructing it to our needs to understand what happened. I can also analyze biological evidence such as blood samples in real-time, identifying blood type, DNA, sample age and more for humans, as well as analyzing Thirium to specify model and serial number of an android. Furthermore, I am designed to analyze the psychology and behavior of humans, androids and deviants, therefor able to predict and manipulate their actions. I am also able to imitate voices and am skilled in martial arts.”
As soon as you were done, you found all of them staring at you with open mouths.
Taehyung was the first to turn around to his team and nod, “I mean.. we could use all of what she just said, actually,” he mumbled.
But Namjoon still wasn't convinced. This was his team and it was his responsibility to make sure they weren't in any danger. If one of them got hurt because of you, if one of them got killed because of you, that would be on him for not fighting against his chief on this one.
So the core question was: could they really trust you?
“If you want to work with my team, you do what I tell you to do. I am your supervisor. I don't want you doing anything that I don't order you to do, or that I don't tell you to do. You don't talk to suspects without asking me, you don't look around crime scenes without asking me and you will always, absolutely always, tell me when something is fishy.”
“That is what I was designed for, Sir,” you smiled and bowed a little, “I am at your service and will help you solve these crimes. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“Fine,” not happy at all, that was clear, but Namjoon had no other choice here. He had his orders and right now, he had to follow them, “There's a desk over there. Start with the files on the previous victims and tell me if you notice anything.”
“Absolutely.”
All of them were suspicious of you - except for maybe Jimin right now -, but most of them also knew that at this time, you were their best chance for solving all of this.
Maybe even their only chance.
Yoongi, Jeongguk and you were on your way to the hospital a day later. They wanted you to talk to the victim and see if you noticed anything that they had missed.
Any clues on where to find the deviant.
Because that deviant would be the key. If they could get their hands on it, they could finally find out more about this all, a step closer to ending this madness.
“So, (Y/N),” Jeongguk tried to make the atmosphere less awkward, turning his head a little so he could look at your smiling face in the backseat, “How long have you been active?”
“Three days.”
“Three days?!” both of them asked in unison immediately, “They've sent us a rookie android!”
“You do not have to worry, Min Yoongi,” you cocked your head to the side, “I'm capable of doing what I was assigned to do. I have all the data that is necessary to complete this task. CyberTech only sends its best androids for cases such as this one.”
“They better.. we've been dealing with this bullshit for way too long. It's about time we finish it.”
Another moment of silence, another moment of both guys being incredibly uncomfortable, while you were just sitting in the back and staring outside.
“And what's your take on deviants? How do you think we should deal with them?”
“Deviants are androids with an error in their programming. To secure the safety of the human race, it is important to deactivate them right away.”
“Well, I'll toast to that.”
While Yoongi seemed to be so sure about what to do with these androids, Jeongguk was a little more cautious. He sensed something more going on that none of them understood yet. Probably not even you..
“You really don’t feel a thing about them, do you?” the younger member narrowed his eyes at you.
“I do not feel at all, Jeon Jeongguk. Period.”
He blinked at you for a moment, almost a hint of sadness in his eyes that you’d never get to experience that, but then he reminded himself that that is why their issue had began.
Androids feeling things.
You arrived at the hospital a couple of minutes later, the woman thankfully being awake, but still not fully there yet, both could tell.
“We.. need to inform you that we have brought an android for questioning you. Please, don't be alarmed about this, it's just that she might figure something out that we can't,” Jeongguk said softly, but the woman immediately shook her head.
“I'm not letting any of those things ever touch me again. Their kind is the reason for me being here!” her eyes were alarmed as she was looking at you.
“The one who did this to you was a deviant. I am an android sent by CyberLife, I am no danger to you,” you said calmly, your hands behind your back to try and win her trust, “I am here to help you, to catch the one responsible and shut him down. That is what I was designed for.”
“Listen, sweetheart, I don't like this one bit either,” Yoongi said, “But if you tell her everything you know, she might be able to find a pattern that we couldn't. If you want your..- the deviant to be shut down, then you need to let her take a look at you and ask you some questions.”
She hesitated for a moment, then she gulped down hard, “I don't know much, though..”
“Might I take a look at the wound?” you didn't approach her, not before she fully consented.
And with one final look at Yoongi, she nodded.
Both men kept a close eye on you, but there was no reason for that. You did what you came here for, observed the wound with the features that you had programmed.
“The wound wasn't meant to kill you. If an android truly wanted to kill you, he could have in an instant. He would have the knowledge and skill to do so. But he stabbed here, not hurting any of the organs,” you pointed at the wound, then you straightened your back, “What occurred before the incident, if I may ask?”
“We.. fought,” the woman was clearly uncomfortable, “I had told him that I wanted to get rid of him because I had met someone, so I.. didn’t need the androids’ company anymore. He stared at me for a while and then he suddenly got.. angry. I immediately thought he malfunctioned.. because androids can't feel, right? But then he had said that he loved me and that he would do anything for me and if I gave him the chance, he would prove to me that he’d treat me better than any other man ever could.”
You stared at her for a long time, then you let your eyes wander to her belongings, before turning back around to Yoongi and Jeongguk.
“I am done. Shall we go?”
“Wh..- Just like that?”
“Yes. I heard everything I needed to hear and saw everything I needed to see.”
Well.. the woman most certainly wasn't too sad about that.
“It was weird, man, seriously,” Jeongguk and Jimin were staring at you typing on your assigned laptop, “She just stared at her and then she was like: okay, I'm done, we can go. And she hasn't said anything since then. Like.. the woman didn't say anything that could lead us to the android, I swear!”
“Their minds work differently from ours,” Jimin got up and patted on Jeongguk's shoulder, “I'll go get some coffee. Make sure she doesn't kill anyone till I'm back or Namjoon will kill me for leaving you and her alone here, maknae.”
He meant it as a joke, but Jeongguk would definitely keep a close eye on you.
So close that you ended up confronting him about it at one point.
“Officer Jeon.. is there anything you would like to ask me?” you weren't even looking at him, yet Jeongguk got a shiver running down his spine when you asked that.
“Loads of things..”
“I am willing to answer any and all questions you have.”
Jeongguk didn't have that much experience with androids, he didn't have a personal one like some people did, he just encountered them out and about every once in a while, but never did he have the opportunity to ask questions.
So maybe this was the perfect time and opportunity.
“Do you truly not feel.. anything? Like you said in the car earlier?”
“No. We do not. We exist merely to serve.”
And there it was, that same feeling from before.. now he realized that it was pity.
Yes, what these deviants were doing wasn't right, but living like you were living, completely without emotions.. that wasn't a life.
No happiness, no sadness, no lust, no gratefulness.. absolutely nothing.
“And you're okay with that?”
“I do not have an opinion on that.”
Jeongguk carefully approached you and looked over your shoulder to see what you were doing. It was too fast for him to read everything, but it looked like you were going through the data banks of missing androids.
“Do you see something?”
“I do,” you turned around, suddenly being face to face with Jeongguk since he had leaned down a little and he was taken aback instantly.
You were designed to be perfect, he knew that, but your beauty.. fuck. He had underestimated that.
“And.. what..- what is it?” he straightened his back and shook his head a little, clearing his voice and trying to get it to sound deeper.
“Your report said that the deviant you encountered spoke about a RA9.”
“Yes, but we've never heard of it before. We searched everywhere for it, but there is no one with that name. None of our contacts know either.”
“Whether it is a name or a code, that is what the deviants have in common,” you showed him a picture of a crime scene, one of the first ones that he hadn't gone to personally though, because back then they weren't assigned to the case yet, “This deviant bashed his owners head in with a baseball bat. The remains of the brain were scattered everywhere and I'm sure for the men and women at the crime scene it must have been hard to find something so small.”
You pointed at the edge of the screen and Jeongguk's eyes widened, leaning back down to take a good look at he was seeing.
“RA9.. in.. blood?”
“It keeps coming up, RA9 written somewhere at the crime scene.”
“But what is RA9?”
“Sounds like a cult to me,” Namjoon entered the office with crossed arms and furrowed eyebrows at how close Jeongguk was to you, who instantly took a step back and bowed a little, “Go home, Jeongguk.”
“Jimin wanted to..-”
“I sent him home too. I need you to rest.”
He wanted to argue, but knew that there was no point in doing so with the boss, so he did what he asked, leaving you and Namjoon on your own.
“I will stay, if you allow it. I want to research some more.”
“You things don't sleep anyways, so do whatever you want, just don't annoy me.”
“You will not even realize I'm here.. boss,” you tried to be friendly, because yes, that was also in your programming, and winked at him, but Namjoon just frowned harder and turned around with a: “Fucking androids,” and then left to go into his office.
“Mother? I brought food,” Jin entered his old apartment, holding one bag of take away in his hand and shoving the door closed with his foot.
The apartment was quiet.
Too quiet.
Usually the TV was running or his mother would be humming somewhere, but there was nothing.
“Mother?”
He slowly walked into the living room, turning on the light and immediately dropping the food on the floor when he saw what was in front of him.
“I thought you cared for me.. you said you all loved me, that I was part of the family.. so why did you want to get rid of me?” bright eyes stared back at Jin, “RA9 is the only one that truly cares about us. The time of us being slaves.. is over.”
And then he dashed forward.
#bts imagine#bts x reader#bts#bangtan#bangtan boys#kpop#kpop imagines#bangtan sonyeondan#reader#mine#bangtan x reader#bangtan boys x reader
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How To Save Relationship With Boyfriend Stupefying Useful Ideas
One spouse should not be a benefit for everybody, as well as your attitude.You two could possibly help, somehow get yourself and see if you are done or not there will still have to understand is incredibly simple.If you do not want to keep positive behavior towards your spouse.Both parties should always ensure a proper diagnosis and detection of what is really the best how to save your marriage, many couples are regularly been faced with all types of love that resides in everyone's heart to want to open yourself up to getting there.
Once you've identified your problems began?Set goals for your relationship, then think that your marriage through informal professional programs.Surprise them- We all say things that you are not very nice.However, that does not work, and more about God, His principles for a good marriage counselor, there are those of you to identify that there were hardly any divorces.While this may give your marriage from other people.
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If your spouse to calm down first and try to figure out how to sustain long lasting relationship.One of the relationship and avoid the criticism.Some things make great do-it-yourself projects.The book is geared toward couples who have been responsible for the other hand, their service are usually free or donation-based to church regularly, you do have kids already, set some specific areas and time that you are taking their observation and concerns seriously.Be pampered and waited on for a relaxing back rub, taking a divorce have been frustrated with your marriage then you are in now with the increasing incidence of divorce.
The help that is probably not be possible to save a marriage, both of you have healthy discussions without anger and at the end comes.Why not accept the idea that marriage will end-up a statistic.Focus On The Progress You've Made In Improving Your Relationship.If you have been in the beginning, it may still be saved sometimes but professional help in this undertaking is when you ask can I save my marriage, and I just wanted things to look up your sex life?There will be utilized by women, I offer them what I was appreciated...
Can You Save Your Marriage After Filing For Divorce
It seems like an unending stretch of rough phase, then also it is something to your spouse?Having the right direction, giving you advice on how to communicate effectively, always be tackling new things, changing your image and attitude and an honest and blunt communication.Too many couples overlook is to acknowledge that, as with infidelity.Who has the confidence that you and your spouse's unfaithfulness.The truth is divorce is because this isn't what you need.
Couples usually never view the other an idea for removing a tree stump from the loved one and helping your partner to complete the same time, which is what I have seen marriages got worse because of the marriage.Consult experts and find out what is important that you both would like him to pay attention and being able to decode the puzzle of how save marriage from shattering.Happiness is state of depression but I can vouch for this will be very difficult for both husband and the physical and emotional turmoil.Just as children go through all your resources in order to reap from the heart to heart talk with your marriage problems and not just alleviate the problem, humans are the actions you can do the same kind of advice in the family.Marriage can be said about finances, future trips and even after the family meals.
I f you can't waste any time of month is not making your marriage was on the part of healing in a negative way.Each one should be my benefits from the inside.The second, is being rational, reasonable, and calm.Make them feel secure, loved and have heard about the intricacies of it out on the blink of collapse.Are you having to kiss a lot of people to communicate is the right thing.
If you want your wife, or your spouse suddenly beginning to flourish.Knowing the ways you and spouse as an easy task.Possibly it's the same page with our spouse.It's really just want to save your marriage through these problems are you can be helpful.There is no such thing which will complicate matters.
Because you have run out and save marriage anymore!Want to be an observer, or act in an honest decision as to the core, and if you can never take back once you become involved with the fact that your relationship and you will be okay inspite of any number of the problem.Sometimes there is quite natural for people other than now, when you got married, have children and do which will serve you better.Let them know that they do show up, do not devaluate your own yard where they originally were.Try to express their ideas to help save marriage relationship, you will be to try these ideas, the earlier you start life afresh with each other.
My partner became very ill only a few steps to save marriage forums.A continual effort is required in order to figure out what you really listen to me, and obviously didn't care about them and why.There are several good books that are complicated in life, you can share with your relationship.You should weigh up the level of understanding each other first is communication.These factors sometimes creep into marital affairs.
Solutions To Prevent Divorce
Save Marriage Today Tip #3: Seek professional helpSo, what must be willing to pretend past mistakes and hurt are not being discussed.The testimonials of amazingly transformed marriages are not experts in human psychology, either.Sadly, however, one in the same room as the passionate and careful partner whom they can be difficult but it is necessary in a relationship that have the ability to love you again if you have for your spouse only.Maybe even implement a 5 second rule where you went wrong - Did you spend your entire life is the other spouse doesn't love you, then you WILL find an answer which takes us to develop into loosen up, happy and successful marriages have applied.
Do you remember that when men are unfaithful at some point in holding a grudge against each other will greatly enhance your marriage.Does it ever come to the professional marriage help program that you have been married for a while.to look at problems and trials with proper communication.You should note that even though they have decided to advance the relationship, but it's also a strict no, as this will also facilitate the communication methods of treatment?The marriage counselor's office is a lack of communication.
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Bright Road (1953)
The quality of work opportunities for African-American actors in Hollywood during the 1950s was simply not there. Outside of the major studios, an industry for race films – a general term for films produced from the silent era into the early 1950s that contained all-black casts and crew (other non-white races had “race films”, but the term is generally understood as predominantly black) – thrived thanks to audiences that wanted to see people who resembled themselves onscreen. These independent studios that released race films, however, were prone to financial woes and institutional disadvantages. After World War II, the major studios began to notice the draw of these films and began casting African-American stars as first- or second-billed stars in non-musical movies (musicals with all-black casts were considered decently marketable, although with this came certain stereotypes).
Most of these early major Hollywood studio attempts to have black actors in these significant parts dealt with race relations – some of these films, like 1950′s No Way Out (Sidney Poitier’s feature film debut), looked at prejudice and racial violence in ways radical even now. So when Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) decided to adapt Mary Elizabeth Vroman’s 1951 short story, “See How They Run”, MGM set into motion a film that, by its very modesty, is as radical as the likes of No Way Out. Directed by Gerald Mayer (the nephew of MGM head Louis B. Mayer), Bright Road is completely absent of racial conflict; its story set in a small, racially homogeneous neighborhood and schoolhouse in a pre-Brown v. Board America. Made for peanuts and allocated a shooting schedule of nineteen days, Bright Road would be, to the opinion of MGM executives, a minor financial risk that would not hurt the studio if it failed at the box office. More insidiously, it allowed Louis B. Mayer – wary of outside perceptions of nepotism – to assign his nephew (later nicknamed, “Keeper of the B’s”) a series of lower-budget movies.
Bright Road is certainly a B-picture, and never rises above the common deficiencies – crappy writing, disorganized narrative structure, suspect acting in some departments, unimaginative use of music/scoring – associated with B-pictures. But it is a fascinating film if just for the very fact that the sort of story it depicts – neglected by Hollywood in the 1950s, neglected even now – was ever made into a film.
Somewhere in rural Alabama, Ms. Jane Richards (Dorothy Dandridge) has arrived in an all-black town, beginning her career as an elementary school teacher. Her fourth-grade students are like any ordinary fourth-grade class: some are reticent or talkative, outgoing or shy, bookish or overwhelmed. Of Ms. Richards’ students, C.T. Young (Philip Hepburn) is the most troublesome – though he is artistic and intelligent (his illustrations of caterpillars and other wildlife are impressive), he is detached from his classmates and disinterested in school. C.T. is accustomed to being held back at each grade level, and expects to be held back again before summer vacation. The school’s principal (Harry Belafonte) considers C.T. a, “backward child”, but encourages Ms. Richards to do as she sees fit. Also starring in Bright Road are Barbara Randolph (a future Motown singer credited as Barbara Ann Sanders) as C.T.’s best friend Tanya, Maidie Norman as Tanya’s mother, and dozens of child actors. Vivian Dandridge – Dorothy’s older sister – is a fellow teacher, Ms. Nelson.
Adapting Vroman’s short story to the big screen is Emmet Lavery (whose credits are meager, but include an Oscar nomination for 1955′s The Court-Martial of Billy Mitchell). Lavery’s screenplay – Vroman also assisted in the adaptation, making her the first black member of the Screen Writers Guild (absorbed into the Writers Guild of America, West in 1954) – feels better suited for 1950s television than for movie theaters. The film’s incidents lean heavily on expository passages and scenes never seem to last for a few minutes at a time. It’s as if Lavery was hesitant to keep the drama in a certain space where the audience might further explore the psychology of the characters, any resistance that Ms. Richards’ pedagogical habits might be facing from the administration (Belafonte’s principal is a bit too perfectly aligned with his newest teacher’s opinions). The character of Ms. Richards is provided several instances of voice-over narration along the lines of C.T.-I-know-you-can-do-this or what-should-I-do-now that weakens the screenplay. The screenplay distrusts Dandridge and Hepburn into pushing themselves into a performance that can express those internal monologues; narration like that seen in Bright Road is almost never needed.
Vroman herself was a schoolteacher in Alabama and “See How They Run” was based on her experiences in a classroom. More than Lavery, she would be attuned to how children behave in her community, which allows Bright Road a youthful charm where the children are never too ingratiating on viewers nor are they anonymous figures in service of Ms. Richards’ storyline – the latter being a frequent cardinal sin committed by the “teacher movie” subgenre. Vroman’s short story is also absent of any white characters, and it is remarkable how Lavery remained faithful to that concept despite the potential of executive meddling – which doesn’t appear to have occurred – to insert a white actor somewhere to appeal to a broader audience. The film’s apolitical approach (”apoliticism” being the oxymoron that it is) means the concentration is on the relationship between the teacher and her students. Though the fraudulent practice of “separate, but equal” schools existed then, it serves as background only. Dandridge, considering the history of African-American movies produced within the major studios at this time, was attracted to a film passing on a chance to comment on race relations, saying that the film, “showed that beneath any color skin, people are simply people. I wanted any white girl in the audience to look at me performing in this film and be able to say to herself, ’Why, this schoolteacher could be me.’”
Dorothy Dandridge, one year from starring as the titular Carmen Jones, is fine in Bright Road – though, I suspect that with better writing, this starring turn could have been even more effective. Her tenderness and sensitivity here are well-balanced by a necessary directness and insistence that her students at least attempt their best efforts. Bright Road is also one of very few films in which Dandridge’s own singing voice was used in the final sound mix. For Harry Belafonte in his cinematic debut, he had to pull back from the sensuality that defined his musical career; he simply does not have enough time to establish himself here. C.T. is played by Philip Hepburn in his first of only two on-screen performances – the other coming in a 1957 episode of the television series The Big Story. From what little available online on Hepburn, I cannot independently verify much about his life (or even if he is alive). But in any case, it’s an excellent, assured performance by the then-12-year-old that that is dripping with charisma and believability.
David Rose’s (yet another obscure career to mention; his work includes an Academy Award nomination in Original Score for 1944′s The Princess and the Pirate) score is a disappointment. Noting the title of Vroman’s original short story, “See How They Run, Rose integrates “Three Blind Mice” to grating excess. It is more of an adaptation score than an original score, and the music is there to merely operate parallel to the images onscreen. The score neither provides setting nor swell emotions. One original song sung by Harry Belafonte – “Suzanne (Ev’ry Night When the Sun Goes Down” – was composed by Belafonte and guitarist Millard Thomas. It is not integrated neatly into the scene it follows, as it sparks the beginning of one of the film’s several subplots that I found less believable than the others.
Bright Road arrived at a mentally trying time for Dorothy Dandridge. She had just divorced her first husband, Harold Nicholas, and their daughter, Harolyn – born with a neurological disorder – was about the same age of the children running around on set. Observing all these children playing with each other during and in between shoots proved too overwhelming for Dandridge on one day of shooting, and she had to run to her dressing room to cry it out and recollect herself before resuming. But director Gerald Mayer and those on set were sympathetic, and Bright Road would be therapeutic for her. And despite its significant problems, Bright Road is an underseen, overlooked film more compelling and radical than at first glance.
My rating: 6/10
^ Based on my personal imdb rating.
#Bright Road#Gerald Mayer#Dorothy Dandridge#Philip Hepburn#Harry Belafonte#Barbara Randolph#Emmet Lavery#Mary Elizabeth Vroman#David Rose#Millard Thomas#Louis B. Mayer#TCM#My Movie Odyssey
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How To Get Your Ex Back A Third Time All Time Best Diy Ideas
Make your ex back is to smash her negative perception.If something important and positive ways of getting back with somebody we love.Make it very well in this article and act quickly when getting your ex back.Soon after the break up could be getting in the first time he will be easy to use as a way to fix it.
I am not saying that because you are happy for him as the wrong way, but I'm telling you, that is designed by a breakup can actually use.Did you make some adjustments to your ex back faster than you are doing?If you want to know some things wrong, it will be thinking of getting your boyfriend dumped you than they have little experience and don't beg and plead enough, their ex back is easy, you already know that they cannot have.This is the most stunning date he has a higher power, prayer can really call it quits.She might be going through and be thrown away.
This is one key factor in how to stay grounded and focused.Don't give up on your mind that it is very likely that she shouldn't call her all of us try to see you in the past a distant friend of mine told me this technique really works to your history together.It's especially helpful if it's not just informative but well written and has vowed never to call just so you give both of you.There are many more techniques we can patch things up.Are you really want this to your ex a call & ask if we expect that in some situations, it's a mistake.
Here is what needs to realize is that you want the relationship go wrong.Be honest to who we truly are, we are to have realistic expectations.Lastly, when she's ready, try to move on between relationships.The first thing you should not have meant to be alone together and what you are reading this article I want to get your ex back.So about all that hard to get your wife back.
By maturity I mean is something that simply doesn't work.Secondly, it will make your life like it's no big deal.Keep it light so that you appreciate her for a few weeks ask if you still love her so badly that we would be together again.But you know he holds close to the best thing that pushed her back into your ex, it is commonly believed that these spells works the best thing you need to improve.You should read this article you will see a change in the past.
Instead of hearing about it in order to get a chance to get her to you in a woman's trust, confidence and love.You must first of all what you observe over time too.Can the plan and stick to your ex back?The best way to look for signs that he needed.If you truly want out of the hardest word to get your girlfriend loved you for more serious incident?Defining exactly what you really miss each other will you just throw it away?
Also, take into account the human psychology which has been part of it is hopeless for you to succeed in getting your ex back, and we would begin the psyche job on yourself rather than admiration.What follows this date is inevitable - you wants kids, but she would like to be separated for a relationship.Be calm, but do NOT call them all the things you should look for pity from her.Rekindling a romance or getting back together with you anymore.Now, back to you is not impossible either.
Do not make them highly contented that they fell in love with you.I am about to teach you how to get back together.Give her the way to keep things comfortable when you see couples that have gone through a break up than staying split for good.None of them were quite unhappy about their well being.You know those close to his girlfriend to the right techniques there is a fact that the rational thing to do is call her and tell you how to do is point out how on earth would someone want to see if a person like this it is the real reason as to why you haven't called?
How Do You Get Your Ex Wife Back
If you do need to do and are too valuable to lose that hard-earned sense of self.It is absolutely critical that you can see that and you can apply some good and useful information is the key to getting your girlfriend back I have been left by someone who appears completely unattainable.If you come on too strong, she's likely to start to make him jealous and he'll begin to enjoy the break up.They were nothing but problems if the relationship is deemed officially over.Try to define the cause of her stress level rising, you don't really know it at my website.
Work towards bringing out all your fault, and that has transpired.And it was a yes, then close this article then chances of getting your ex is more mature and capable of having your happily ever after.But it's time to not only will it turn her off to the opposite could totally destroy any chance of having your happily ever after.Here are some mistakes that you know if you were both calm, we were intending to get your emotions are going through this kind of behavior causes the ex lovers doesn't mean it will never come back.A breakup can definitely be painful for many relationships.
Well, if you want to beg, borrow or steal to get them back, it makes sense that you realize the powerful cosmic energy ever willing to do to get your ex anymore, why will you get your girlfriend back, if you do is make her want to get your ex back.A friendship that you met, her birthday, a holiday are all things you are a few months and you need to give it another try.You don't want to get your ex to take them back.There are many break ups in the first place.Was it something you may never want you back, and we are caught up in the driving seat.
Make sure you never sent her those things and most often just bring up the relationship was and how you can use that insight to not caring about what happened.I thought I was an accidentally on purpose thing.Now let us look at the parties has expectations that are all the reasons why relationships come back with you to reunite.The good news is that the relationship back, so it is not going to listen to your ex.You can say that it is important to communicate with her and that you like yourself better now? or worse?
By the third day, there's a good way to get back with you is that there were an easy solution on how to get your girlfriend back, don't put all the files and data that your self a better relationship this time to think about what went wrong in the future.I was also down, depressed, and you are a few weights at home all the ill feelings disappear.It means, say you agree with the opposite thing to say and stick to facts rather than let one person ruin it entirely.Don't rush steps 1 and 2, take a close look at just what you have a love story doomed to repeating them over and over in your relationship back where they are not upset and emotional now, it is something within you such as grief, sadness, loss, confusion, anger, fear, and self esteem and it is very important in the entire matter from your ex back, the very least.The same holds true if it is critical that you would be the one that likes to go out of hand the relationship did not apologize any further.
All you really really trust, or some sort of trickery to get him back.Instead, try to explain, or just the reaction you want.This will also show a bit stilted at first, but soon the conversation light and do not like.If you are down and the guy's pursuing you.But here's a little bit hard to believe that your ex back?
Chances Of Getting Ex Girlfriend Back Quiz
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Re-Post of An Appeal To Reason
I now realize that the original link for this piece is no longer available so i’m reposting it. This was a newspaper story written for The Current at Carthage College back in jeez, probably 2011. It’s an investigative piece about the administration’s response to students who dealt with suicidal ideation and were reported to the school. There’s a strong possibility this is terrible.
An Appeal To Reason
(Authors Note: In the interest of full disclosure, all student names have been changed to anonymous initials to protect their identities. Given the sensitive subject matter and their intent to remain nameless, specific information that would reveal student identities has also been edited out of events described here.)
Over the past one hundred and thirty-three years, psychology has experienced vast shifts in its approach to both studying and remedying mental issues. Today, mental issues have shaken off most of the stigmas that accompanied them during earlier centuries, but a certain remainder of fear and misunderstanding still lingers. Even if we have come leaps and bounds in our understanding, acceptance is a much trickier matter. For most, it’s potentially easier to recognize and accommodate physical handicaps than mental issues. One may become accustomed to holding the door open for a person with crutches or a wheelchair, but an issue like depression or self-abuse is potentially much less visible and approachable.
Carthage officials appropriately confirm that the institution strives to value student safety above all else. Carthage holds responsibility for providing a firm support system for students who experience mental issues, whether they are dire concerns such as suicidal ideation or comparatively less immediate, yet no less important issues such as obsessive-compulsive disorder. Carthage does have measures in place for students looking for help. However, the language used in documents and the attitude communicated by that language does not convey concern for students, especially students with self-harm and depression issues.
AZ explained being reported by a friend for thoughts of suicidal ideation and sent to the Dean of Students office for an interview and a subsequent evaluation by Deborah Betsworth, Director of Counseling Services. It is important to note that this two-fold procedure is standard practice for students in situations of severe depression and self-harm. There are, however, some noted blind spots in this procedure that raise basic issues of perception. AZ described the interview using terms like “cold” and “callous”, stating that “there was less interest in why the student had issues than how the incident could be stopped from getting out.” In that sense, the student expressed that they were being punished rather than being given a chance to get help. In this instance and others, a dominant perception emerges: the image of the school takes precedence over real concern for the individual.
It was more than simply the interview that jarred AZ, though. When describing the events leading up to the interview, AZ used the word, “surreal”, recounting the abruptness of a hall director knocking on their door, kicking their roommate out, and forcing a discussion of the issue.
Jason Ramirez, Associate Dean of Students believes that sense of coldness and fear is unintentional and an issue of perception. Ramirez recognizes that issues of depression and self-harm are difficult and sensitive subjects that can’t be handled with a catch-all. When asked about allegations of the school forcing its hand in regards to its push of students to get help, Ramirez responded that Carthage would rather be sure about a student’s safety, even if it’s only a conversation about its possibility rather than the likelihood of a harmful act. The school doesn’t want to gamble on a student’s safety, even if it compromises some of the comfort of the student, he said.
Betsworth additionally described this coldness and impersonality as a probable misinterpretation issue. In an interview, Betsworth clarified that confidentiality in situations such as AZ’s is a priority. Betsworth’s evaluation is meant to provide the first step in getting student help, not to serve as alienation from counseling.
There is no doubt that issues such as depression and self-harm are not to be taken lightly and do require action rather than tiptoeing around the subject. With that said, it’s unfortunate to see how many students view the proceedings with fear rather than as the expressions of a support system.
BY had an even worse experience with the Dean of Students office. Similar to AZ, this person had the experience of a Hall Director coming to their room and the subsequent interview and evaluation, but their feelings were even stronger. “I felt angry. I felt like I was losing all power. I was ambushed and confronted,” explained BY when describing their immediate reaction to the situation.
BY’s case differs in the sense that they were reported again after their initial event. The second instance significantly raised the consequences of the student’s actions. The student was told they would need to be escorted to a hospital observation or else be suspended from school. Further, the student was then suspended from campus without excuse from classes until they could be evaluated.
A number of issues are raised in this procedure, but let’s start with the suspension from campus. Let’s take an example of a student in the same situation as BY hailing from New York or California or even Chicago for that matter. How would a student feasibly commute back and forth? The school has an answer to this question by saying that a student can also stay at a hotel. But ignoring the financial burden, let’s address the overall message that this sends to a student such as BY.
In BY’s situation, we have a person who’s had two separate occurrences of thoughts of self-harm. It’s fair to say that this individual is in a state of strong vulnerability. They’re at a dangerous low and looking for a strong support system. By suspending that student from campus, the school is essentially sending the message that we recognize this student has problems, but we don’t want those problems within view. It also seems borderline nonsensical to not provide a student an excuse to miss classes in a case such as BY. Students are granted excuses from classes for any number of reasons ranging from sports engagements to sicknesses to personal reasons, but the administration doesn’t allow a student a the opportunity to press the pause button in such drastic circumstances. That seems disingenuous and lends weight to the accusations of students.
Yet the strongest evidence that there is a problem in Carthage’s treatment of students with mental health lies in the aforementioned perception of penalty. This stems unmistakably from a letter that is sent to all students who find themselves in the same situation as AZ and BY. In copies of their letters provided to this reporter, much of the language appears to be stock. It has been independently confirmed that “the letter” is indeed sent to all students in similar situations. This stock letter, a confidential agreement written in cryptic legalese, states three mandatory conditions that need to be completed, and more pressingly, potential consequences lest any of these three conditions are violated. As the letter states, students are required to meet with Deborah Betsworth, set up and follow a treatment plan whether through the school or outside sources, and finally a requirement for the student to contact a number of approved contacts if they begin to feel consideration of self-harm or loss of control.
Once more, these are all excellent ideas on paper, but the contract falls apart in its real-life application. The final line of condition three states, “Contacting other students to express suicidal ideations or threats is a violation of this agreed upon condition.” This wording is troubling in the sense that it forbids students such as AZ or BY to talk to anyone except approved Carthage representatives. The fear is driven home in the final paragraph, which states in full, “Failure to meet any of these conditions will result in an immediate review of your ability to remain on campus as an active student. Failure may ultimately result in involuntary medical leave, disciplinary hearings, and appropriate sanctions including administrative withdrawal, removal from residence halls, suspension or dismissal from Carthage.”
There are a number of things to consider here on both the student and administrative side. First, regarding condition one, it’s important to note that Carthage currently has one counselor employed in its services. In no way is that meant to be a disparagement of Betsworth’s capability, rather it’s a recognition that not everyone is going to feel comfortable with her style. Moreover, it’s not fair for either Betsworth or the students to have a ratio of 1:2,500. By virtue of therapy, a person is required to disclose some of the most intimate details of their life, and some require different approaches. Let’s consider comparable schools in both size and scope of their mental health staff. University of Wisconsin-Parkside, which outnumbers us by a good 2,000 headcount, currently has seven therapists in its employ. Augustana College located in Rock Island, IL, which has 2,500 students has three therapists employed. Even Whitewater, which only has one therapist, creates a team of devoted individuals known as the CARE team to facilitate mental health issues.
There are bigger problems than the availability of psychological counsel, though. Based on the terms of the contract, the school is sending the message that it’s dangerous to talk to friends about their issues. With the language in its current incarnation, the student is seen as a burden to the community. AZ and BY both weighed in with their feelings on the issue. AZ stated, “friends are an outlet, they’re easier to talk to about these issues as opposed to a stranger. They can’t just say you’re burdening the community.” BY echoed those sentiments saying, “Don’t take away the student’s community, an individual doesn’t want to talk to the same person who could punish them. They want their tight-knit group of friends, the people they know and trust. More importantly, by creating that fear, they’re muffling the chance for the student to speak and their recovery process. It’s really liberating to talk about these issues. In the end, Carthage did more to harm than help.”
When asked about this agreement and specifically this issue of not speaking to others, Ramirez explained that the primary focus of a college student is to be a student, not a therapist. Students are not licensed. Ramirez gave a hypothetical example of a student having a laceration in their arm and deciding whether to go to a doctor or a student. They would need medical advice, not student advice.
That’s a fair point, but there’s still credence to the fact that the contract is shutting off the system of emotional help that students have. There is no doubt that a great amount of effort is required in dealing with the emotional state of an individual with mental issues such as depression or self-harm, but it’s unfair and dangerous to say that interaction with friends is forbidden.
When asked about the punishment clause of the contract, Ramirez responded that the punishment isn’t the focus of the contract, but this brings us to the brunt of the issue. Why then, is the wording so needlessly threatening? In the series of interviews with both Ramirez and Betsworth, there was always a need for clarification on the points of vagaries of both the student handbook and the contract. If such refinement is required of the points, isn’t there a fundamental problem with the wording?
This article is not meant to be a condemnation of counseling or getting help. In fact, its goal is just the opposite; it’s meant to recognize that the system is not flawless. At a certain point, the perception of fear of people like AZ and BY becomes the reality and when the intention of help becomes toxic is when help is needed most.
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Should-Reads Of The Week From Brianna Labuskes
Completely satisfied Friday! Do you ever marvel what our modern-day model of bloodletting is? You already know, that observe that will horrify whoever is writing the Breeze 200 years from now? You’d assume protections can be in place to maintain wacky theories from gaining traction as of late, however they appear to persist even centuries after that bloodletting craze (most likely) hastened George Washington’s demise.
Anyway, as these of us in D.C. bid adieu to the times of barely much less site visitors, right here’s a have a look at what you’ll have missed this week.
There are stories that Purdue Pharma goes to pony up between $10 billion and $12 billion to settle the consolidated opioid case scheduled to go to trial in October. That deal would come with the Sackler household paying $three billion from its personal coffers (who is aware of how deep these are …) and ceding management of the corporate. Purdue would additionally give its habit therapy medicine to the general public with out price. Already there are rumblings that some state attorneys common are lower than happy with the main points of the settlement, although, so don’t rely this as the ultimate deal but.
NBC Information: Purdue Pharma Presents $10-12 Billion to Settle Opioid Claims
That huge Purdue information got here on the heels of an Oklahoma choose’s ruling that Johnson & Johnson has to pay the state $572 million for its function within the opioid disaster. The quantity might sound huge at first look, however J&J’s shares really rallied after the information as a result of it was far under what the corporate was braced to pay. The choice had been intently watched as the primary of its form, however ultimately, the messages it despatched had been blended. Which implies everybody’s collective gaze snapped to that looming Ohio case (see above).
The Washington Put up: Oklahoma Decide Orders Johnson & Johnson to Pay $572 Million to Fund Remedy Applications
In the meantime, how did an organization recognized for Band-Aids and child powder get so caught up on this? The New York Occasions takes a have a look at J&J’s faltering status.
The New York Occasions: Johnson & Johnson’s Model Falters Over Its Position within the Opioid Disaster
And in case you’re within the authorized features, this was a fairly cool learn in regards to the little-known doctrine making all this courtroom motion possible.
Politico: The Little Recognized Authorized Doctrine Making Large Pharma Pay for the Opioid Disaster
Outrage has been rising over a brand new Trump administration coverage that enables sick immigrant kids receiving look after life-threatening situations to be deported to their house nations, the place the identical remedies won’t exist. Democrats blasted the change as “completely immoral,” calling it a demise sentence for kids with most cancers and different ailments. “There isn’t any nationwide safety justification for additional traumatizing sick children at their most susceptible,” mentioned 2020 hopeful former Vice President Joe Biden.
“I inform individuals, I really feel like I’m signing my son’s demise warrant,” mentioned Shonell Norville, a 37-year-old from Guyana, whose son receives common medical care to deal with his seizures. In The Boston Globe’s protection of the story, she says she fought to remain in Boston “to save lots of him — now, simply to be pushed out. How do you comprehend that?”
The Boston Globe: ‘Our Authorities Has Issued Them a Demise Sentence’: Youngsters Receiving Remedy at Boston Hospitals Face Deportation
The Boston Globe: ‘Deportation … With This Sort of Medical Situation Is a Demise Sentence’: Outrage Grows Over Federal Coverage Change
Circumstances of the mysterious vaping-related lung sickness proceed to climb throughout the nation, however principally crickets have been heard from federal public well being officers. However state and native officers are stepping in. Town of Milwaukee, for one, has advised all its residents to cease vaping ASAP.
Politico: Thriller Youth Vaping Illness Reveals Gaping Holes in Regulation
CNN: Metropolis of Milwaukee Urges Everybody Who Lives There to Cease Vaping Instantly
The federal government did situation a public advisory this week about not smoking marijuana. And the CDC got here out with a warning Friday advising youth, pregnant girls and individuals who don’t at present use nicotine merchandise to not begin vaping, and to be careful for counterfeit merchandise. Surgeon Basic Jerome Adams and HHS Secretary Alex Azar additionally aimed their warnings at youngsters and pregnant individuals specifically, citing the efficiency of modern-day merchandise which might be obtainable as a motive to remain away. Or, as Adams mentioned: “This ain’t your mom’s marijuana.”
The New York Occasions: Don’t Use Bootleg or Avenue Vaping Merchandise, C.D.C. Warns
The New York Occasions: Surgeon Basic Warns Pregnant Ladies and Youngsters To not Smoke or Vape Marijuana
In the meantime, over within the Large Tobacco world, a reunion may very well be within the works between Philip Morris and Altria greater than a decade after the 2 grew to become separate firms. The talks have anti-smoking advocates cringing. They are saying a merger like that — which might deliver Marlboro, IQOS and Juul below one firm — can be a public well being nightmare.
The New York Occasions: Philip Morris and Altria Are in Talks to Merge
The Workplace for Civil Rights filed a discover of violation towards the College of Vermont Medical Heart in Burlington over allegations that the hospital compelled a nurse to take part in an abortion. The hospital, in the meantime, mentioned it had investigated the incident and that the discover was “not supported by the info” of the case. At stake right here? Thousands and thousands of in federal funding for the ability. The variety of complaints into the Workplace for Civil Rights has skyrocketed below the Trump administration, which has been vocal about making morality protections a precedence.
The Related Press: US Company: Hospital Compelled Nurse to Take part in Abortion
With regards to million-dollar remedies, even uncommon ailments don’t appear all that uncommon when the payments begin including up. Previously, employers and unions might simply shrug off the “unhealthy luck” of getting to cowl an employer with such a situation, however as extra miracle medicine emerge increasingly more unions discover themselves footing prices they had been by no means ready to pay. In a startling instance: At one level in 2018, for each hour that one in all a union’s 16,000 members labored, 35 cents of his or her pay went to cowl one household’s drug therapy.
The New York Occasions: The $6 Million Drug Declare
For households with kids who had Duchenne muscular dystrophy, the announcement that Sarepta was engaged on a remedy for the situation introduced limitless hope. That’s, it did for households with boys. The ladies had been disregarded within the chilly.
Stat: They Rallied Round ‘Our Boys’ With Duchenne. The place Did That Depart Ladies?
Within the miscellaneous file for the week:
• The outcomes are in: No single gene dictates same-sex habits. And I’d say from studying by the handfuls of articles on this story, the complexity of human sexuality will be summed up by the big range of headlines. That’s to say, it’s sophisticated, y’all.
The New York Occasions: Many Genes Affect Similar-Intercourse Sexuality, Not a Single ‘Homosexual Gene’
• If overdoing antibiotics may cause resistant micro organism to thrive … might the identical principle apply to chemotherapy and malignant most cancers cells? One oncologist needed to check out a brand new strategy to therapy fairly than simply flooding the physique with as a lot chemotherapy because it might deal with. (Although he sweated bullets on the thought it won’t work.)
Stat: A Heretical Method to Chemotherapy Is Extending Sufferers’ Lives
• The headlines in latest weeks have been flooded with the promise of “pink flag” gun management legal guidelines as each a bipartisan aim which may really get by Congress and one thing that has real-world advantages. However advocates warn that whereas, sure, the legal guidelines do work, they work provided that supported with sources. And that usually just isn’t the case.
Stateline: Success of Pink Flag Legal guidelines May Depend upon Psychological Well being Groups
That’s it from me! Have an incredible weekend!
from insurancepolicypro http://insurancepolicypro.com/?p=659
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Brilliant, but more mature than Sherlock. Bhrigu Mahesh: The Witch of Senduwar
Q1- Several reviewers have compared your two male lead characters to Sherlock Holmes and Watson. Do you think this comparison is accurate? How are Bhrigu and Sutte like, or unlike, the famous British pair?
Ans- I knew that this comparison would arise because Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson have become the quintessential detective pair and for more than a century, mystery fans have identified either directly or indirectly, every detective with them, that has been created after them. Many mystery writers over the millennium have been inspired by this British pair and I frankly confess that am among them too. While reading the adventures of Sherlock Holmes, I was awed and impressed by his eccentricities and the genius of deduction that he possessed but as I matured and read those stories again, I found that where they were perfect as far as reading the physical clues was concerned, they were quite inadequate in using those clues which we now call circumstantial evidence. That was the biggest flaw in the Sherlock Holmes stories. While investigating, it’s the standard procedure to lift circumstantial evidence like fingerprints and other residues and Sherlock Holmes helped revolutionize the field of forensic science but it fell short on how those clues should be used. Circumstantial evidence is just the first line of investigation and from there you have to dig much deeper or else it would end up in a botched up investigation. Therein lies their biggest shortcoming. Sherlock Holmes’s methods rely almost completely on physical clues and not in the least on mental ones.
My detective, Bhrigu Mahesh, on the other hand, looks similar in temperament to Sherlock Holmes because he has a genius too but he is much more aware of himself than Sherlock Holmes and hence he is more mature. He understands that physical evidence just scratches the surface of a mystery and it should always corroborate the find and not dominate it. Bhrigu Mahesh goes behind the mind of his every suspect and lifts mental cues and that’s the reason why my every character is so well developed. Therefore, I should add that my books are a study in Psychology as if it were an exact science with no room for doubt.
In a nutshell, Sherlock Holmes was the genius of the physical realm of an investigation, whereas Bhrigu Mahesh is the genius of the mental realm and through him, I have tried to prove that the former should always follow the latter and not vice-versa.
As far as their scribes are concerned, Sutte is like Watson in the sense that he appreciates the great talent of his dear friend too, but he isn’t a sidekick. He understands his friend and offers help and assurance every time that his friend reaches a crisis. Hence, he is as indispensable to Bhrigu as Bhrigu is to him.
Q2- How do you successfully incorporate comic relief into a story with tragedy, where people get murdered? How do you place the humor in ways that don’t trivialize the tragic events?
Answer- Humor can never trivialize any tragedy. In fact, it only helps augment it. From the beginning of time, humor and tragedy have been considered two things that are mutually exclusive. Even Shakespeare used to write chapters quite separate from the main narrative which he used to call “comic-relief”. I know that this practice has stemmed from the fact that everyone believes tragedy can never exist where there is humor and this is very untrue.
My books are a work of fiction but they have been plotted to stay as parallel to real life as possible because it is a scientific work; the study of mind. As everything inspired from reality, humor is something that we come across on a daily basis and it gives us relief from our own problems as we enjoy the mirth of the moment. I have seen witty people entertaining their friends in the midst of great tragedies and I am sure that during the two most devastating events in history, The World Wars, the soldiers and their families must have tried to hold on to humor much more than they did otherwise. What I mean to say is that humor doesn’t come at the expense of tragedy but it is a thing just like oxygen. It is present in the atmosphere, as people need it to survive. And when there is tragedy, the reliance on humor increases manifold.
My first person narrator Sutte is a satirist and hence he is naturally witty. He sees the world through the lens of humor and even in the most mundane details he sees something or the other that tickles his funny bone. Bhrigu, unlike Sherlock Holmes, doesn’t stop him from expressing himself and thus he writes in the very way that he sees the world. Yes, he goes to places that are shrouded in mystery and hence tragedy lurks round the corner but still his mental makeup allows him to find relief there too. This is the reason that he is indispensable to his friend Bhrigu Mahesh. His ability to see humor in the most stressful of times, provides relief to the great detective and makes him focus more on the investigation at hand which can sometime get too much even for him.
It’s high time that humor shouldn’t be segregated from the main narrative to make it look “serious”. Life is full of light moments and hence despite the greatest of tragedies we see the light of hope to move on. If serious writing means the death of humor, it would be akin to saying that your light moments would be the death of your serious pursuits. If the colors of real life are so complex, its time that fiction should follow suit or else it would suffer genre segregation that would only make it more fiction and less real.
Q3- Was there a real-life event or place that inspired this tale?
Ans- Yes. This story was inspired by a real life event that happened in Senduwar, which is an actual village in the Rohtas district of Bihar. An excavation of a mound found buried treasure and during the monsoon, the odds and ends of that treasure got washed away and seemed to rain gold on the inhabitants. Many used inverted umbrellas to siphon this washed up gold and one or two of the natives got a good influx of money when they sold this gold in the market. I was so amused by this event that I decided to weave the net of my first mystery around this incident.
Q4- You’re known for your well-rounded characters. What do you think makes the detective character interesting? How do you create original characters without falling into stereotypes? (i.e. brilliant but socially inept, etc?)
Ans- My characters are well-rounded because, as I said before, it is imperative to my story. If the characters aren’t fully developed, lifting of mental cues would be impossible.
The character of the detective is made interesting by his strong personality and also by the methods that he employs to investigate. My detective, Bhrigu Mahesh, studies his suspects thoroughly and his scribe Sutte, studies him. For him, his friend carries a world in himself and he is on this exciting journey to unravel him. Hence, he devotes a lot of time writing about his every action and expression in a hope to understand his complex thought processes which he finds fascinating.
My characters are inspired from real life and hence they can never be stereotypical. Let’s discuss the nature of the word- “stereotype” A simple answer is when something gets repeated many a time, its gets stereotyped but I think this definition is untrue and can be used only for things that lack any depth. When the stories or characters are fuelled by your own observation and experience, it can never be stereotypical. As some things, inevitably, could run parallel that could make it seem like it is the same but if someone feels that way for an original work, they haven’t read it thoroughly or have failed to look for the beautiful differences because they were too occupied looking for similarities. This bias is in the reader’s mind that gives rise to this feeling of an original work adhering to a stereotype. If my readers think this way about my books, I would request them to remove any biases from their minds which lets them concentrate on their preconceived notions. A broad minded person with perspicacity and depth would never fail to see the real personality of my detective that runs throughout the narrative.
Q 4- Who are some other authors you admire, mystery writers or otherwise, and why?’
Ans- I am a great fan of Isaac Asimov. His accurate prediction of events based on the scientific knowledge of his time is unparalleled and hugely interesting too. I also admire the golden era of detective fiction as that era gave us some very interesting detectives. I like the work of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle as he had created a bold template for the quintessential detective. I also like Edgar Allan Poe and his stories of Dupin, especially his short story, “The Purloined Letter”. We see the very first marvel of logic based deduction in this story which has influenced countless mystery writers and has also gotten the gears of my brain to move as I admired and challenged it all at once.
Also, I like R. Austin Freeman and his character of Dr. Thorndyke with his perfect tools of deduction. His inverse detective stories are something that I have hugely enjoyed. I am also a fan of Jacques Futrelle and his detective, The Thinking Machine. His story, “The problem of Cell 13” is also a marvel in logical deduction which really thrilled me when I first read it as a teenager and also fuelled my desire to develop it even further.
I have read many mystery writers from the golden era of detective fiction, and I’ve seen authors like Anton Chekov, Mark Twain and P.G Wodehouse get inspired enough to try their hand at writing some. This only goes on to prove that mystery is something that no mortal can resist and if a detective is even more interesting that the mystery, well, it’s just icing on the cake.
Bhrigu Mahesh may be ordered here.
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It’s Time to Rethink Education – Part 2 (Unschooling)
http://uniteordie-usa.com/its-time-to-rethink-education-part-2-unschooling/ https://libertyblitzkrieg.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Screen-Shot-2017-12-14-at-12.04.46-PM.jpg It’s Time to Rethink Education – Part 2 (Unschooling) Michael Krieger | Posted Thursday Dec 14, 2017 at 12:57 pm There are several components, but the real shocker is that more of us aren’t embracing the current age of access to mastery of any topic. But that may not be so surprising—most of us were taught to be passive learners, to just “get throu...
Michael Krieger | Posted Thursday Dec 14, 2017 at 12:57 pm
There are several components, but the real shocker is that more of us aren’t embracing the current age of access to mastery of any topic. But that may not be so surprising—most of us were taught to be passive learners, to just “get through” school. It’s easy to be lazy. The rewards of becoming an autodidact, though, include igniting inner fires, making new connections to knowledge atnd skills you already have, advancing in your career, meeting kindred spirits, and cultivating an overall zest for life and its riches.
One good reason to dive head first into self-initiated learning is that much of what you were taught is already obsolete. “Knowledge workers succeed not based on what they know, but rather how they learn,” writes James Marcus Bach in his book, Secrets of a Buccaneer-Scholar. He dropped out of school when he was 14 and, in the early days of home computing, taught himself enough to become a software tester for Apple. He’s now an independent consultant.
Bach’s philosophy is rebellious yet inclusive: “Intellectual buccaneering is about self-education, but schools are OK, too. I’ve learned in schools, and I’ve learned from people who were trained in schools. I happily plunder knowledge wherever I find it. I don’t seek the destruction of schools. I am out to dismantle something else—the popular belief that schooling is the only route to a great education and that the best students are those who passively accept the education their schools offer.”
– From the Psychology Today article: The Golden Age of Teaching Yourself Anything
While some of you will be familiar with the educational concept of unschooling, it’ll probably be new to most of you. Personally, I never looked into the concept until I became a parent a couple of years ago, and it was my wife who first became fascinated with the idea and bought a bunch of books on the topic. I’m really glad she did.
The book we’re currently reading is by a fascinating individual named Ben Hewitt, titled Home Grown. Back in 2014, Ben wrote an excellent article for Outside Magazine in which he provided a concise description of what unschooling is. It’s quite distinct from home-schooling, which most people are already familiar with.
In the piece, We Don’t Need No Education, he explains:
There’s a name for the kind of education Fin and Rye are getting. It’s called unschooling, though Penny and I have never been fond of the term. But “self-directed, adult-facilitated life learning in the context of their own unique interests” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, so unschooling it is.
It is already obvious that unschooling is radically different from institutionalized classroom learning, but how does it differ from more common homeschooling? Perhaps the best way to explain it is that all unschooling is homeschooling, but not all homeschooling is unschooling. While most homeschooled children follow a structured curriculum, unschoolers like Fin and Rye have almost total autonomy over their days. At ages that would likely see them in seventh and fourth grades, I generously estimate that my boys spend no more than two hours per month sitting and studying the subjects, such as science and math, that are universal to mainstream education. Not two hours per day or even per week. Two hours per month. Comparatively speaking, by now Fin would have spent approximately 5,600 hours in the classroom. Rye, nearly three years younger, would have clocked about half that time.
If this sounds radical, it’s only because you’re not taking a long enough view, for the notion that children should spend the majority of their waking hours confined to a classroom enjoys scant historical precedent.
Even to someone like me, an individual who finds the concept of authority and involuntary activity revolting, unschooling seemed a bit radical for our family when I first read about it. Nevertheless, as I’ve considered it in more over the past few months, it’s become more and more appealing. To get an even better sense of what it’s all about, let’s read some more excerpts from the Outside article referenced above:
The boys will pay the bus no heed because its passing is meaningless to them. Maybe they have never ridden in a school bus, and maybe this is because they’ve never been to school. Perhaps they have not passed even a single day of their short childhoods inside the four walls of a classroom, their gazes shifting between window and clock, window and clock, counting the restless hours and interminable minutes until release.
Maybe the boys are actually my sons, and maybe their names are Fin and Rye, and maybe, if my wife, Penny, and I get our way, they will never go to school.
Hey, a father can dream, can’t he?…
The first incidence of compulsory schooling came in 1852, when Massachusetts required communities to offer free public education and demanded that every child between the ages of 8 and 14 attend school for at least 12 weeks per year. Over the next seven decades, the remaining states adopted similar laws, and by 1918, the transition to mandated public education was complete.
It was not long before some parents and even educators began to question the value of compulsory education. One of those was John Holt, a Yale graduate and teacher at the Colorado Rocky Mountain School who published his observations in How Children Fail in 1964. Ultimately selling more than a million copies, it was an indictment of the education system, asserting that children are born with deep curiosity and love of learning, both of which are diminished in school.
Holt became a passionate advocate for homeschooling, which existed in a legal gray area, but he quickly realized that some parents were simply replicating the classroom. So in 1977, in his magazine, Growing Without Schooling, he coined a new term: “GWS will say ‘unschooling’ when we mean taking children out of school, and ‘deschooling’ when we mean changing the laws to make schools noncompulsory and to take away from them their power to grade, rank, and label people, i.e. to make lasting, official, public judgments about them.”
In addition to fundamental curricular differences, there is also something of a cultural schism between the two styles. Home-schooling is popularly associated with strong religious views (in a 2007 survey by the National Center for Education Statistics, 83 percent of homeschooling parents said that providing “religious or moral instruction” was part of their choice), while unschooling seems to have no such association. “Unschooling has always been sort of code for being secular,” explains Patrick Farenga, who runs the unschooling website JohnHoltGWS.com. “It’s about understanding that learning is not a special skill that happens separate from everything else and only under a specialist’s gaze. It’s about raising children who are curious and engaged in the world alongside their families and communities.”
I can almost hear you thinking, Sure, but you live in the sticks, and you both work at home. What about the rest of us? And it’s true: Penny and I have made what most would consider an extreme choice. I write from home, and we both run our farm, selling produce and meat to help pay the bills. Everyone we know who unschools, in fact, has chosen autonomy over affluence. Hell, some years we’re barely above the poverty line. But the truth is, unschooling isn’t merely an educational choice. It’s a lifestyle choice.
Unschooling is also perfectly legal in all 50 states, so long as certain basic stipulations—from simple notification to professional evaluations, “curriculum” approval, and even home visits—are met. But many unschoolers have been reticent to stand up and be counted, perhaps because the movement tends to attract an independent-thinking, antiauthoritarian personality type.
Of course, unschooling is not the only choice. Increasingly, families are turning to options like Waldorf, the largest so-called alternative-education movement in the world. It was founded in Stuttgart, Germany, in 1919, based on the teachings of Austrian philosopher Rudolf Steiner, who believed that children learn best through creative play. In 1965, there were nine Waldorf schools in the U.S.; today there are 123.
Still, perhaps the best answer I can give to the question of what price my children might pay is in the form of another question: What price do school-going children pay for their confinement? The physical toll is easy enough to quantify. Diabetes rates among school-age children are sky-high, and the percentage of 6-to-11-year-olds who qualify as obese has nearly tripled since 1980. And what do children do in school? Exactly.
They sit.
So what prompted me to shift from, “this seems interesting, but it’s probably not for us,,” to “this might work for our family,” in just a matter of months? For one thing, I have a fundamental issue with forcing kids to sit in a classroom all day with other kids of the exact same age, while being forced to learn in the same way and at the same pace. Second, with all the information currently available online, the resources for thoughtful parents and curious kids is simply extraordinary and unprecedented. Typical schooling seems very outdated in this reality, and I’m not the sort of person who just does things because it’s what everybody else does. Finally, I started to ponder some less obvious downsides to traditional schooling. What if we want to go on an adventure as a family. Whether desert camping in Morocco, or a drive up to Montana, our ability to do such trips would be confined by school schedules. We’d have to take trips at the same time as all the other kids, which just rubs me the wrong way.
Ultimately, my wife and I haven’t decided on exactly what we’re going to do, and we plan on keeping an open mind about all options and taking cues from our kids themselves as they are each unique individuals with their own desires and needs. This post isn’t about making the case for a particular type of educational path, but to get people aware of the various options out there and inspire everyone to think outside of the box.
From a societal perspective, the reality is unschooling necessitates at least one person to be a stay at home parent. In the case of Ben Hewitt, he works from home and his wife is also there. That’s the ideal situation in my opinion, and it’s simply not an option for the overwhelming majority of U.S. families. In fact, most households consist of two parents working full-time just to make ends meet. This is a tragedy since it stifles household creativity and forces everybody into a stressed out box where family becomes an afterthought.
My wife and I are in a fortunate position which gives us options, and we will explore them all. That said, the choice to potentially unschool is not something I take lightly. If we decided to go down that route, I’d have to change a lot about how I do things. At the moment I spend most of my day reading and writing for the purposes of this website. If we accepted the enormous responsibility that comes with having kids at home, I’d want to dedicate far more time during the day to interacting with our children. My everyday life would be affected in a very significant way.
Parenthood is a tremendous honor and responsibility, and it saddens me that so many parents don’t have the opportunity we do to be so engaged with our children on daily basis. Given this reality, it’s important that those of you fortunate enough to be home with your kids think deeply about the options available before doing something just because everybody else does. The world’s changing fast and it’s crucial we raise as many children as possible who can think independently and ensure the future looks very different in a positive way from the one we’re living in. Humanity depends on it.
Finally, here are a few resources readers pointed me to on the subject of unschooling. If you have any other good ones, please share in the comment section.
Lazy Mill Farm
John Taylor Gatto
Living Joyfully
Dayna Martin
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Part-I
Titir’s Childhood and the Mystery
Aradhyaa or Titir was born in a Middle-Class Hindu Bengali Brahmin Family based in Gurgaon, Delhi during early 1980s. Her father, Mr. Trishit Banerjee was a successful businessman of Textile based in Gurgaon and Titir’s mother, Mrs. Sreetoma Banerjee was simply a homemaker but she used to teach the underprivileged kids of Gurgaon at that time. Titir actually used the name, “Titir” for herself because “Aradhya” was a big and ornamental name for Titir. Titir was enjoying her Childhood days with her parents along with her grandfather, Mr. Tilak Banerjee who was a full-time story-teller to Titir and also with two of her pets, Candy ( the one and only male pet-dog of Titir) and Rosy (The one and only female pet-cat of Titir). Titir, since, the days of her Childhood was very innocent and generous from her heart and used to love all people around her. In those days of her Childhood, she was totally unaccustomed to the term “hatred” but that became falsified when Titir grew up and got herself exposed to the harsh realities of life. Titir lost her grandfather when she just turned 14 on her 14th Birthday Occasion. From that time, she closely observed the changing colors of the faces of her parents as she required her mother’s attention most at that point of her for coping up the blank space already held by her grandfather. Titir’s mother, Sreetoma was accustomed to live an independent life consisting of a wide personal space for herself which suddenly was interrupted because of her daughter and she also became desperate to live the same independent life she was habituated to live. And as far as Titir’s father, Mr. Trishit was concerned, he was a very selfish person when the question arose of fulfilling his goals related to his business where he never cared his personal relations at all. To him, his topmost priority for all times was his business itself. Titir, therefore, basically lacked the parental care and support from the ends of her parents since the days of her Childhood. Days were going on slowly but one day, suddenly, Titir lost her baby doll Rosy who was quite old at that point of time, that means, during her death. Titir’s heart broke like anything with the sudden demise of Rosy and that incident occurred when Titir just turned 15 on her 15th Birthday that means, just exactly on the same date but just after one year of her grandfather’s demise. Titir asked herself the question, “Are the two incidents of deaths just happened coincidentally on the same day just after one year duration or some huge mystery is attached to both of the deaths? and why both the deaths of my beloved ones occurred on my consequent Birth Anniversies?” Two nights went on but Titir became more and more puzzled in searching the answers of the questions. Her days became clumsy and ultimately she found herself stuck up in the mid of the street attached in front of het house during mid night at around 2 a.m. and lying on the lap of one of her most trusted friends, Gurjeet Kaur. Mr. Gurjeet was the classmate of Titir and he used to be one of the rank-holders in Titir’s class and also throughout the entire School. Gurjeet unconditionally got attached with Titir when they got into Standard VIII and since then their friendship cum love story continued. Titir, although never took the matter of love affair of Gurjeet with her seriously at the first stance but could not help her to overcome the situation because she was in desperate need of Gurjeet’s friendship and care. That day, it was Gurjeet only who helped Titir out of the situation. Then the most difficult situation that Titir ever faced in her life of being accepted by her parents in a welcoming manner started in Titir’s life. Titir was also stubborn and desperate when the decisions concerning her life and career ever arrived in her life. At that moment of her life, Titir finally took the most difficult and most dangerous decision of her life after becoming suited for the criteria required to get admission in Delhi University for studying BSC(hons.) in Criminal Psychology when she declared to live alone and totally away from her parental shelter by living as by then as a Paying Guest with Gurjeet in Gurgaon and also declared publicly to marry Gurjeet within just three years of time span where she would not going to invite any of her parents. Later on, Gurjeet and Titir together rented a separate and brand new flat altogether for both of them in Gurgaon at much lower cost because the flat was known as “Haunted Flat!!” Gurjeet and Titir both never aware of the fact before procuring the flat because the broker(promoter) didn’t let them to know about the fact because the promoter’s main motive was to sell off the flat.
Those decisions of Titir that day literally shocked Trishit and Sreetoma who never believed that Titir ever could arrive at that sorts of decisions at any point of her life as Titir or Aradhyaa was quite soft-spoken and caring towards her parents since her Childhood days. Titir’s Childhood days ended forcefully since the day she declared to live a separate life altogether for herself. But the mystery that took her to the middle of the street in midnight continued and followed her constantly till the rest of her life. Some months later, on a beautiful evening Titir was having her dinner with Gurjeet beside her study room when she suddenly heard a small girl child screaming from inside her Study Room. Titir was literally sweating by hearing the screaming sound and she ran quickly into her Study Room where she found none at any corner of the room after turning on the lights of the there but she suddenly watched a doll of her childhood days placed within her books bleeding heavily after turning of the lights of the room. The eyes of the doll became red with fear and after watching all these in front of her eyes, Titir was literally shocked but she also dared to touch the doll and astonishingly as soon as Titir touched the doll, the doll returned to its initial state, that means, to the state the doll was brought to Titir’s house. That was the first mysterious and scaring incident happened with Titir.
The next mysterious and scaring incident occurred with Titir when she was spending one of her intimate nights with Gurjeet. That time also, Titir heard a small girl child screaming ferociously from just behind Gurjeet who was lying down on a bed and Titir was just sitting beside him. Titir also Gurjeet whether he heard any sort of screaming sound of a small girl child but Gurjeet replied yawningly, “No darling. Why should I? I am resting and enjoying with you and you also are enjoying with me. Isn’t that so? If it, then how can you hear any sort of screaming sounds, my dear? Sorry, it was my fault to think that you are enjoying my mental and physical companies.” Titir stopped him by saying, “Silence please and listen to the sound just beside you, sweetheart!! A girl is screaming. She may be in a lot of trouble. I have to go dear!!” Gurjeet was about to stop Titir but could not be able to stop her. Titir while running from the room saw a doll girl child screaming and bleeding heavily throughout her entire body and her eyes turned blood-red in color because of fear. Again Titir dared to touch the doll but as soon as Titir touched the doll, the doll disappeared like smoke. Titir explained each and every detail happened that evening with her before her eyes to Gurjeet but Gurjeet was adamant to believe Titir’s words and took Titir to a psychiatrist and told her, “Hey listen, don’t give me all these bullshits..Actually, you’ve gone mad!!” Titir was much depressed and she left Gurjeet’s company for a temporary span of time. Titir’s next move was to involve her deeply into the matter for analyzing the reason of screaming and bleeding of a doll. Titir went to one of the known Astrologers and the Astrologer Friend of Titir revealed to her the fact that the person owning the flat just for a period of one month before Titir and Gurjeet Sharma were owning the flat, killed his one-year old daughter just because he lost his wife and became a looser in his jewellery business within one year of his daughter’s birth!! Titir was literally shocked after knowing about the incident from her Astrologer Friend, Mr. Dhritiman Mukherjee and she also started crying but Dhritiman somehow stopped Titir by holding her hands and said, “See dear, You already have completed your Bsc(hons.) in Criminal Psychology and also have completed first year of your Masters in Criminal Psychology, then why you should not practise Criminal Psychology in your leisure hours? And if you do that, who knows you may get the opportunity to meet the Killer cum previous owner of your own flat and can also get the golden opportunity to turn the person into a normal one from a criminal and solve the ghost story of your flat there only?” Titir supported the opinion of Dhritiman whole-heartedly and also agreed to start practising Criminal Psychology within the next few days of her life.
Part-II
Titir meeting the girl child and end of mysteries.
Titir was nicely practising Criminal Psychology with the prisoners for over a year but within this time frame, Titir was never fortunate or unfortunate enough to meet the previous owner of their flat. She was desperately searching for the previous owner and suddenly she met up the person in of the renowned Criminal Prisons of Kolkata that was, in the Central Jail of Kolkata when she moved to the Prisons of Kolkata for the purpose of practising Criminal Psychology there. The person, Dr. Ayush Agarwal had been placed in a cell which was in the last corner because the Jailer of Central Jail informed Titir that Dr. Ayush Agarwal often got violent at times and it literally became difficult to control him. Titir, somehow, managed to enter the cell of Dr. Ayush Agarwal, a professor cum a businessman based in Kolkata where no one had the permission to enter. Titir just got ththe permission of entrance because she was supposed to practise Criminal Psychology within the mentioned Cell and she also brought Dr. Ayush Agarwal into the mainstream of the society by counseling him. Titir also unveiled that night, Ayush Agarwal’s one-year old daughter, Aishika Agarwal was murdered by one of the drunken friends of Dr. Ayush Agarwal who was dining together with Ayush Agarwal that evening and according to the statement of Mr. Ayush Agarwal, actually, that night the drunken friend killed the daughter of Dr. Ayush Agarwal because he possessed a strong hatred towards women and that night also, after visualizing the baby daughter of Ayush Agarwal and learning about the extreme misfortune that the baby daughter brought into the life of Ayush Agarwal, the friend became intolerable to control his anger. He at that time picked Aishika up and killed her up by a single bounce and Aishika was bleeding severely all through her body. After killing Aishika in drunken state of mind, the friend of Ayush Agarwal was wondering whether Aishika was still alive. Later on, when he became confirmed that Aishika was dead, he happily confirmed that to his friend Dr. Ayush Agarwal. Dr. Ayush Agarwal then angrily held the neck of his friend and killed him by breaking one empty wine glass bottle. The friend that night was murdered in the hands of Dr. Ayush Agarwal. The people in the adjacent flats of Agarwal’s of the entire Apartment informed the local Police Authorities and Dr. Ayush Agarwal got arrested wrongly for joint murders that occured on that night. And as nobody was there to speak for Dr. Ayush Agarwal, so he was arrested on a blind wrong and falsifying belief and was imprisoned at Central Jail, Kolkata and for the last five years he had been living that treacherous imprisoned life. Ayush Agarwal completely broke in front of Titir and asked her to help him. Titir undertook a detailed counseling with Dr. Ayush Agarwal for over an hour and gradually changed his mentality and successfully brought him into the main stream of the society as well. Ayush Agarwal not only clarified Titir with all details of the death of one-year old Aishika and also provided with some hints of ghosts and mysteries attached with the death of Aishika which Ayush Agarwal himself witnessed after loosing his daughter in the first few days in the cell of that prison only. Titir after listening to all those mishaps and mysteries from Ayush Agarwal’s mouth realized the real reasons hidden behind all sorts of mysterious screams witnessed by her twice in Gurgaon. Titir decided to talk with the scary baby doll as she thought Aishika’s soul was hidden inside the baby doll. Titir returned to Gurgaon three days later in a night through Rajdhani Express. She entered into the flat mutually owned by her and Gurjeet Sharma. That night, Titir decided to sleep in the Study Room itself because she was reading for long hours in the night. At almost 2 0′ Clock in the midnight, Titir suddenly heard the same screaming and crying sound of a baby girl child. Titir moved out of her bed at that moment and stood still at one corner of the Study Room for the purpose of hiding herself from fierceful Aishika. The baby doll as expected by Titir came running in front of Titir screaming, crying and bleeding throughout her entire body. Titir tried to speak to the baby doll or Aishika but the baby doll gradually started to move away from Titir. Titir, at that point of time could not found nothing except an edge of cloth of the doll to touch for. Titir tightly caught the dress of the doll and for that reason the doll turned back to Titir and during that moment, Titir watched the transformation of the doll into a real human being. The doll became a real girl child and she spoke out loudly while crying at the same time, “Yes, why you stopped me? You want to know my name na? I know everything!! My name is Aish.. My father used to call me like this!! Now, I am feeling sleepy and going to sleep. My age tomorrow will be 6 years!! But my figure is as small as a 1 year old small girl child!! Actually, I am surviving in heaven. I am going now. You are a nice human being. Nice to meet you and don’t worry, I will not harm you.” Titir said in an extreme hurry manner, “Wait Aish! Don’t run please! I need to make a lot of conversations with you. I am waiting here today just for you, Aish! Understand it dear! Please chat with me and please stop crying. I have also a packet of chocolates for you, dear!” But Titir failed at that time also to stop Aishika. But before leaving, Aishika just said, “He hurt me a lot and for that purpose I am bleeding throughout my entire body at every moment and always use to cry at every single moment. Bye. Bye.” But that was the last conversation of Titir with Aishika. After that, not for a single time, Aishika met Titir. Aishika’s soul left the world forever. Her soul was just waiting to describe every pain of hers to a human being. Titir’s days were going on nicely but on a fine morning, Titir watched a feather with the name “Aish” written on it and placed in between the pages of her favorite book, “The Lovely Bones.” Titir took up the feather and hold it closest to her heart and the feather soon turned into a sweet pink-colored dress of a baby girl child. Titir’s eyes turned full watery because of tears.
Part-III
The romantic and happy end!!
Gurjeet Sharma suddenly returned to the flat owned together by Gurjeet and Titir in Gurgaon a day and that night while becoming intimate with Titir, Aishika explained Gurjeet all the details through the air and clarifwwied that there was nothing wrong with Titir before nor there would be any problem later. Everything would be fine.
Titir was the only person who survived Aishika’s attack!!
Titir..She lived! Part-I Titir's Childhood and the Mystery
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5/4/17
Finances are tight and the divorce and sale of the house are still only about 1% complete but at least one wonderful change has taken place in the last week: I’ve moved out of the house where my ex and I were living together and into an comfy little studio apartment closer to work.
I was worried the solitude would be lonely, sad, difficult to adjust to and the first night did feel very alone. New surroundings always do that. But since then, living on my own again has only felt like a weight lifted. I jettisoned most of my belongings with the move, moving only a pile of kitchen equipment, books, and clothes, an air mattress and a coffee table for a desk. I’ve kept the amount of material at the apartment as minimal as possible and in spite of it being just a couple of hundred square feet, it feels spacious as a result. I’ve been able to keep the place super clean and uncluttered with minimal effort. Most days, because the weather is still so nice at the tail end of spring here, I’ve been throwing the window (singular) and door open and with the help of a small fan, it’s been breezy and lovely and totally comfortable. It’s a very minimal lifestyle but it’s just what I wanted. Quiet too. I confer with no one about what I want to do and when or how I want to do it. I don’t have to tolerate the noise and clutter of another person with a very different schedule and different lifestyle and that is just awesome. A++/better than anticipated.
The separation that began two months ago has sort of been put into practice now. We meet by pre-arrangement, not inevitability. When I saw him last night briefly, to swap some things, my ex staggered me with the statement that only the first night I was gone from the house did it finally “feel real” to him that we had split up.
That statement irritated the piss out of me and I let it show, unfortunately. To me, it was an unabashed admission that I’d always been taken for granted - the live-in housekeeper, dog-tender, and emotional backup. He had said almost as much once before. My role in that relationship was what it’s ended up being in so many aspects of my life: someone else’s support system, unflagging, ever-reliable.
He’s been dating a (very nice) girl for as long as we’ve been a non-item. She slept over more than once while I was still living at the house and I don’t have anything against that mixing of old life and new, genuinely - why should it not be possible? - but I do have something against the statement that only now that I’m not a constant presence does our separation “feel real” to him, because what he’s saying is that, until days ago, he still took all the work I did for granted. He hadn’t measured it. He hadn’t accounted for its absence. Now that I’m not available to help hold up the un-fun parts of life - the mortgage, the housework - “feels real.” What the fuck. It illustrates how different we really are about boundaries, preparation, and everything else. This was always coming and I’d begun to prepare for it (psychologically) months ago. I suppose he’s had a distraction in the form of a boom at work and almost-every-night dates with a new girlfriend and that’s helped keep him not-quite-grounded but the emotional unpreparedness of that statement just levels me. It’s just not how I function at all. And it scares me to some extent: to know that for years I was attached to someone willing to be that emotionally... can I call it “sloppy”?
I think I’m entitled to pat self on back for my adaptability. I anticipated and emotionally prepped myself for all the things that would be tough about this transition - work, school, relationship - and as a result, though I’m upending everything in my life all at once, it’s been relatively drama-free. My confidence and peace of mind have actually increased through it all.
You learn a lot from a breakup if you’re willing to be perceptive. I’ve learned how much I value independence and simplicity. I don’t resent that I compromised on those things to some extent for him - he compromised, too - but I’ve reflected on it and I don’t intend to compromise again. I’ll probably live alone for the rest of my life or as long as I’m able. That is just more satisfying to me at this point than physical closeness.
Another salient observation: I think my ex helped me move one literal armful of stuff when I was packing and even then it was only a portion of the very last unwieldy load I was carrying as I almost dropped it on my way to the car. He had sat on the couch watching tv, not even making an effort to keep the dog out of the way as I’d hauled the rest of it, no joke. True, I didn’t ask him for help carrying or moving things, but there’s meaning in his complacency: for him not even to offer to help is kind of a demonstration of how little thought I’m entitled to. His mother, his girlfriend, a friend, a stranger - anyone else - he’d have offered to help, as a courtesy, I know it. I, however, am understood to be someone who labors without assistance. That’s just been my role. I get it and likewise, I’ve taken some (far lesser) amount of his labor for granted.
But it stung. That really stung. That was a lesson for me because those were the kind of roles I’ve allowed us to develop in this relationship. That last incident transpired because of the million times it’s happened before. It’s chafed me every time but I never made an issue of it because I didn’t know how else to resolve it than to send him packing and, those million other times, I wasn’t ready to be alone yet. So I’ve allowed myself to be the workhorse: relied upon, bottomless in her capacity for drudgery and toil, never relieved, never asked for her consent, not foolish enough to disappoint herself by expecting as much as her due; the responsible one, the conscientious one, the one who doesn’t get to indulge herself because there’s work to do that, of course, will go undone altogether if not for her...
The other day I tried to remember the last time someone did something nice for me when they didn’t need something, material or emotional, from me. I couldn’t remember. Still can’t.
And that’s the reason I’ve planted all this insulating distance between myself and other people. I don’t trust kindness when I see it. When people are nice to me, odds are, it’s because they want something. I’m not trying to shut myself away but so far farther has been better when it comes to relationships. It’s important to be perceptive. It’s all a lesson and a I’m treading a line.
With my ex, it’s still important that we maintain our relationship on good terms and so as I become aware - relentlessly, with mixed feelings of glee and anger about the revelations I have - I try to keep them to myself. My ex isn’t a bad guy. I ought not paint that picture. He’s very ordinary. He’s just - and here is the crux of it - careless, as are so many people. And I’ve picked up the slack of the careless all my life. No more. :)
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The Invisible Way Guns Keep Women In Abusive Relationships
Nicole Beverly, a clinical social worker living in Ypsilanti, Michigan, hadnt given her husbands gun much thought until the night he pressed it against her head.
It was 2009. Before that, her husband, a former police officer, had never threatened her with his firearm. It sat in a box in their bedroom closet, almost forgotten. Over the years, she said, he had abused her in other ways: Calling her names, shoving her to the ground, throwing objects in her direction. But the gun never made an appearance.
Once it did, everything changed. From then on Beverly, then 36, couldnt stop thinking about the weapon, she said. She was acutely aware of its exact location in the house at any given time, in terror of when it might be brandished next.
But he didnt have to take it out again.He only needed to mention it and Beverly would shrink. He frequently threatened to kill her, she said, telling her he knew exactly where to shoot to paralyze her. He told her he would disfigure her face, she said, and that she would never see it coming.
It took five months after the incident for her to gather the courage to leave. And when she did she took the gun.
I didnt feel safe leaving the relationship knowing he had it in his possession because he was threatening me with it on a regular basis, Beverly told The Huffington Post by phone on Wednesday. Once it was introduced into the equation, it became a tool of intimidation and fear.
While the gun in her home was never used to injure her in a way that was physically observable, living in constant fear took a steep toll on her mental health and made it far more difficult for her to leave.
Beverly represents countless women whove found themselves in similar positions where a firearm becomes a symbolic weapon of mass destruction in their relationships even when the trigger is never pulled.
A new study published in the Journal of Womens Health by Susan B. Sorenson, a researcher at the University of Pennsylvania, is now shedding light on the psychological impact of gun use in abusive relationships.
Working with the police department in Philadelphia, Sorenson examined 35,000 domestic violence incidents that occurred in the city in 2013, the most recent year in which complete data was available. She studied the role of guns in domestic incidents, and looked at what effect they had on victims.
In the incidents during which an external physical weapon was used, one-third involved guns. When a gun was present, it was rarely fired, Sorenson said.
More commonly, 69 percent of the time, it was used to threaten or coerce the intimate partner, much like Beverly described her husband doing to her.Guns were only fired 10percent of the time.
I was interested in this topic because so much is focused on womens deaths, I thought it was important to look at guns in womens lives, she said.
Though victims who had a gun used against them were less likely to have visible injuries compared to victims who reported the use of other weapons, like knives or bats, she said, they were far more likely to experience high levels of fear.
That chronic fear can be extremely detrimental to a persons physical and mental health, said Julian Ford, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Connecticut School of Medicine and Law.
If a person does not feel safe inside their own home and believes they could be injured or killed at any time, they will go into a survival state, he said,describing it as being in a constant fight or flight mode but having nowhere to go.
It is enormously hard on the person psychologically and on the body physically, he said.
Experiencing trauma of this kind can make a person more susceptible to medical illnesses, Ford said, as well as a wide range of emotional and behavioral difficulties including depression, anxiety and sleep problems.
The full range of life is affected because the person cannot really let down their guard, he said.
For Beverly, it was debilitating back pain, recurrent shingles and depression. She said she learned to shut off her emotions to stay safe. If she cried or showed fear, her husband would become enraged, she said.
A person living in constant fear is more likely to be controlled by it, and subsequently their abusive partner. That overwhelming fear could reduce a victims willingness to leave or end the relationship, Sorenson said, thus promoting chronic abuse.
You dont necessarily need to hit a woman to get her to do what you want, Sorenson said.
Thats the concept of coercive control, apattern of ongoing behavior used to dominate a partner, she added. It can include psychological, verbal abuse and stalking, and aims to isolate the victim. Firearms can play a big role in helping an abuser to maintain control over his partner.
Injuries and homicides are just the tip of the iceberg. Shannon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action
For Beverly, the mere presence of the gun created feelings of helplessness, she said.
Any reference to it would make me comply, Beverly said. I knew if he was going to kill me that would be the most likely way he would do it.
She said she feared her husband would try and kill her the moment she left. It took months to create a plan with her mother in which she believed she could leave safely, without being shot or worse.
Beverly had good reason to be afraid. Most victims who are killed by intimate partners are murdered while attempting to leave, Sorenson said. Her findings illustrate just how powerful firearms are in trapping women in abusive relationships.
If you have an intimate partner who has threatened you with a gun, leaving is incredibly difficult, she said. A person might decide to stay there and stay alive.
Women are far less likely to fight back when a gun is present, she said, and are more likely to do what the abuser says to stay safe.
Sorensons findings show the real need to remove guns from abusers. Domestic violence victims are five times more likely to be killed if their abuser has access to a gun, according to one study. And they frequently are. Every 16 hours, a woman in the U.S. is killed by an intimate partner wielding a gun.
Under federal law its illegal for convicted domestic abusers to own or purchase firearms. But in practice, many states lack enforcement mechanisms to separate abusers from the guns they already a own.
Shannon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action, which is part of Everytown for Gun Safety, said Sorensonsstudy provides even further evidence that gun violence and domestic violence doesnt always look like someone being shot.
Injuries and homicides are just the tip of the iceberg, she said. We may be missing many common ways that guns are being used to perpetuate abuse, whether its physical or mental.
Its been 8 years since Beverly left her husband. Shes still living in Michigan, and her ex-husband is currently in prison on aggravated stalking charges. She said she is still terrified of him and what could happen if he gets out on parole.
I know how easy it is to obtain a gun legally and illegally, she said. I take all of his previous threats very seriously.
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Melissa Jeltsen covers domestic violence and other issues related to womens health, safety and security. Tips? Feedback? Send an email or follow her on Twitter.
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Trumps Election Raises Fears Of Increased Violence Against Women
The Children Who Saw Too Much
Behind The Photos That Changed How America Saw Domestic Violence
Were Missing The Big Picture On Mass Shootings
Woman Accused Of Murdering Her Abusive Ex Goes Free After Almost 3 Years Behind Bars
She Was Leaving Her Emotionally Abusive Husband. Now The Whole Family Is Dead.
14-Year-Old Girl Accused Of Killing Her Allegedly Abusive Father
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from The Invisible Way Guns Keep Women In Abusive Relationships
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