#He kept telling me how different I was from his 'crazy' ex wife. They had a 6 yr old son together | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

danniburgh · 4 years ago

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Give you what you want (Javier Peña x f!reader x Horacio Carrillo)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader x Horacio Carrillo

Summary: You’ve been crushing hard on Javier - and Colonel Carrillo. And when they both find out about it, they can’t help but indulge you.

Word count: +11.1k

Chapter warnings: mild angst, mentions of violence, divorce talk, discussion of polyamorous relationship. OT3 SMUT, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, double penetration, alcohol, a lot of cum lol

A/N: this is a collab between me, @maharani-radha-writes and @queenofthefaceless, okay, yes this is a repost (basically the blog in which this os was posted blocked me). originally posted on april 6th 2021

ao3 // Masterlist // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

Carrillo slammed his face on the steering wheel of his car with a groan. He had just spent all day in court finalizing his divorce—which had been going on for months—and just as he had gotten home, he realized that he had forgotten his service pistol at the office. Something he was not allowed to bring in the courtroom.

Fuckers.

He had separation anxiety from it, so even though he had multiple spares in the house, he had one trusty weapon, and he wouldn’t be caught dead without it. He glanced at the clock, and saw that it was only eight o’clock, so it wasn’t too late for him to swing back to base and grab it. Shaking his head, he turned the ignition of his car back on and reversed out of his driveway to head back to the station.

When he got there, he used his keys to enter through the back doorway, not really wanting to have to greet the guards at the front. He was just… way too done with people that day. Although he and his by then ex-wife had separated amicably (or as amicably as it could get), the divorce had taken a huge toll on him. He and Juliana had separated about five months before, and he had spent that time sitting in lawyers’ conference rooms, arguing over this and that. He was ready to just give her everything and anything she wanted if it meant he could get that painful process over with.

Truth be told, Carrillo was lonely. He had been for a long time, even while he was still married to Juliana. They had been less of a married couple and more like roommates for the past year at least, and it was getting to them both. His job was tough and dangerous–Juliana didn’t understand a lot of it. To be fair, he kept most of it from her, but that got exhausting after a while. He longed to just...let go, and he couldn’t do that with her. And after a while, she had decided that staying married to him (and his job) was more trouble than it was worth. He couldn’t blame her, not one bit.

It didn’t matter any more. He had firmly closed that chapter of his life, and was ready to move on. He didn’t know what the future looked like for him, but the only thing that he was sure of was that Pablo Escobar would be dead. He would make sure of it–even if he died trying.

After finding his service pistol, which had been stuffed in a holster under his desk, Carrillo closed the door to his office, and proceeded to walk down the hallway to the back exit. But he stopped when he heard voices coming from the bullpen.

Odd.

He hadn’t seen anyone when he had come in. He turned slightly and strained his ears to try to see if he could discern who it was. Then he heard the distinct Southern American drawl of none other than Steve Murphy. The man had been pulling late nights in the office ever since his wife got up and left him.

“All right, kiddo, care to tell me what the fuck your problem is?”

Who–? Was “kiddo”? It certainly couldn’t be Peña. It was a Friday night, surely Peña was off….doing something (or someone) else.

“What’s my problem? What’s your problem, Murph?”

Oh, it was you. The lone female agent of the DEA. Carrillo had been quite wary of you when you had joined the team about a year before. He really wasn’t sure what, if anything, you would be bringing to the table. And he thought that having two DEA agents was two too many already. But over time, you had proven to be a strong, capable, and intelligent partner, and his respect for you had grown.

Bringing you to Colombia had been a good decision, on the part of your superiors.

Now that he had identified the two people still stuck in the base, he should have been satisfied and been on his way. But something about Steve’s tone of voice kept him rooted to the spot. He really, really shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, especially since he was sure that it was a conversation he was not meant to hear.

“You’re on edge. A lot more than usual,” Steve said, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Steve. Just drop it,” you grumbled.

“Oh, so there is something?” Steve snarked, “Look, I normally would back off and leave you alone, but you’ve been highly distracted lately. And it’s affecting your work. I need to know what’s up or at least confirm that you’re going to get this resolved soon because we need your head in the game.”

Now that Steve mentioned it, Carrillo had noticed that you were...not yourself. And you hadn’t been for a while. But Carrillo was too caught up in his own drama to give it much of a thought.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, “I’ll try not to be so scatterbrained. I’ll fix it, I promise.”

“Is this what I think it is? The thing you told Connie that I’m not supposed to know about?” Steve asked.

Carrillo knew he absolutely needed to leave. That was not a conversation he should be listening to. But he just could not help it.

“You’re going to have to be more specific, Steve. I’ve told Connie a lot of things,” you chuckled, nervously.

“I mean about–” there was a pause, presumably Steve looking around to check that nobody was there, “–your feelings. For, uh, ya know, Peña?”

Oh. That was news.

“And–uh–Carrillo I think?” Steve continued.

Wait...what?

Carrillo whipped his head around so fast that he winced as his neck twinged in protest. Since when...since when did you have feelings? For him? And Peña? What was happening? Someone needed to shoot him because that could not be real.

“Must you say it aloud?” you hissed.

“I’m sorry, kiddo, I don’t mean to embarrass you,” Steve apologized, “And normally I would mind my own fucking business, but this is getting out of hand. You really don’t think I notice the cows’ eyes you make at Peña when he’s not looking?”

“I don’t do that!” you denied, indignantly.

“Okay fine, maybe that’s a bit dramatic,” Steve conceded, “But the point still stands. You definitely need to get this fixed. Have you thought, oh I don’t know, telling Peña? Or even Carrillo?”

“Are you crazy?” you stammered, “Do you have any idea what that would do to my career? Not to mention that Carrillo is...fucking married?”

“Well, he’s divorced now,” Steve clarified, “And nobody has to know. It’s nobody else’s business but yours. I’m just saying, think about it ok? You deserve an outlet, just like everyone else.”

Carrillo decided that it was best to not stay and hear what you had to say to that. Instead, he hightailed it out of the base, as quickly as he could, trying to keep his footsteps light so as not to alert you and Steve to his presence. Once he was finally in the safety of his car, he put his head back onto the seat and let out a long breath, trying to figure out what he was going to do with that information. He couldn’t deny that the idea of you having feelings for him was incredibly flattering. You were a very guarded individual and quite hard to read sometimes–not so dissimilar to him. He would have never, in a million years, guessed that you would be interested in him, and that was mostly due to your closed off persona.

But to find out that you had feelings for both him and Peña? That was an interesting development. Carrillo didn’t know how to feel about that. But he can’t deny that it intrigued him...more than it should have. His mother would be completely mortified if she found out that he was entertaining this--whatever it was.

But his mother was not here. His wife was gone, and had taken the kids with her. It was just him, and his large house. And now, apparently, you and possibly Peña. Carrillo tilted his head contemplatively and started the ignition of his car.

Maybe...just maybe, there was something to this whole charade.

**Scene Break 1**

Steve was tired. Scratch that, he was exhausted. Not physically, but mentally.

Javier had been looking at you for far too long, and Steve could taste the yearning and the tension that lingered around the office when Peña looked at you. It was maddening, and Steve had no idea how Peña had managed this long without jumping you. After all, he never seemed to have a problem getting a woman’s attention and keeping it. So, why were you so different?

And the worst part of this whole circus is that you were so blissfully unaware of it. It made Steve’s mouth foam with rage.

When he told Connie over the phone, the previous night, what you had said to him and how you had confessed to being attracted to both men, she actually convinced him to talk to Javi on your behalf. Because Connie knew you, and she knew you would just shut up about it, guard it as if you were a dragon with a treasure, never say a thing, and suffer in silence until your feelings went away. And if they didn’t. Too bad. Steve hadn’t wanted to get involved. After all, you were an adult, and Javier was an adult. You should be able to sort these things out yourself. But alas, that had not happened. And if Steve didn’t do something about it, it was going to get out of hand, quickly.

So when you got up from your desk and got out of the office, Steve walked to Javier and slammed his hand on a pile of files that Javier was almost hiding behind.

“Yes, Murphy, how can I help you?” Peña drawled, trying to keep his voice as even and unaffected as possible.

“Don’t give me that innocent bullshit, Peña,” Steve growled, “I’m so sick of you.”

“What could I have possibly done now?” Javier huffed, pulling a cigarette out of his pack and lighting it. He figured that if he played dumb, Steve would go away.

Alas.

“You, and her,” Steve said, emphasizing his point by jabbing his finger in the direction of the door you had just walked out of, “There’s something between the two of you. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

Javier decided not to answer that. Instead he just took a puff of his cigarette and stared at Steve, daring him to continue.

“I’m serious Peña, stop playing coy. This is starting to affect your working relationship, and I’m getting sick of it,” Steve grumbled, “Do something about it. Now.”

It took a few moments of silence, but Javier finally decided to concede to Steve. Truth was, Javier’s head was full of thoughts. Full of you. Truth be told, getting infatuated with you was just a matter of time.

You were just… frustratingly attractive, incredibly strong and so damn smart. A dangerous combination, you were almost perfect. And that, scared the shit out of him. It had been a long time since Javier felt like that; he didn’t like the vulnerability of it all, he didn’t like how it was way too apparent that whatever you did, for small that it was, affected him in some way. He didn’t like the fact that he wanted to be with you all the time, see you all the time, talk to you all the time. He wanted to protect you all the time even when he knew you could perfectly protect yourself. And he had been feeling like that for months.

Javier interpreted that as karma, getting so madly, deeply into you and getting absolutely nothing in return. Until Steve chimed in, nosy as ever, to speak about something that was clear as a water drop but he just kept denying from himself.

He replayed what Steve had told him while he puffed from his cigarette and for a split second, and let himself smile at the words of his partner.

Steve was right. He was aware of how much he had been missing and how affected his job seemed to be because of how much time he spent thinking about you. It was so unlike him, and it was very unprofessional. But he just couldn’t help it.

You and your strikingly beautiful being. You letting him hold you close. You, with your hands on him. You and how sweet your lips must taste. You and how your naked body must look in the dimmed lights of his bedroom. Fuck.

So he decided, after his partner all but scolded him about being too dumb to realize, that he was going to face you and just… make things happen.

Steve smiled to himself while looking down at a file when Javier stood up from his own desk and walked out of the office.

“Attaboy,” he mumbled to himself.

**Scene Break 2**

You weren’t sure what it was, but suddenly the air in that bullpen had become oppressive, and you just needed to get out. Well, frankly...you weren’t stupid. You knew what was causing you to feel this way. It was stupid Steve and his stupid way of being right all the time, how the fuck did he do that? At some point, you were going to have to tell Javier (and possibly Carrillo, as well) how you felt, but if you could put it off for longer, you were absolutely going to do so.

You sat on the concrete wall bordering the police base, observing quietly as the citizens of Medellín went about their day, getting lunch and catching up with their colleagues. There was a man selling arepas just a few feet from you, and the smell was amazing. But no matter how tantalizing the scent was, you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat. All you needed was some air. Yeah, that’s what you needed. You’d be fine after a few moments.

Unfortunately, your peace wasn’t to last long, and as you were soon to discover, your observational skills would need a check up because Colonel Horacio Carrillo himself had just plopped himself next to you, and you hadn’t even noticed. Carrillo, for his part, waited a few moments before clearing his throat, startling you from your thoughts, and successfully getting your attention.

Ah shit.

One of the exact men that you didn’t want to deal with right now was sitting right next to you.

Joy.

“Those arepas look fantastic,” he remarked in that lovely accent you really liked, “Do you want one?”

You shook your head.

“No thank you,” you mumbled, “I’m fine.”

Carrillo hummed.

“I’m sure we could find something else if you would prefer. There’s all kinds of food in Medellín,” he replied. But you refused again.

“No, really, I’m fine. I don’t want any food,” you said.

Carrillo tilted his head and clasped his hands together, leaning forward slightly. He gave a small, almost imperceptible smirk, and if you didn’t know him so well, you would have missed it.

“I see,” he observed, amusedly, “So, then, Agent. What do you want?”

You frowned, and furrowed your eyebrows. What...what was he doing?

“I–I don’t want anything,” you replied, completely flabbergasted.

“Hmmm,” Carrillo began, “I don’t believe you. I think you want something.”

You raised your eyebrows at that. You’d never known the Colonel to be so bold.

“I want Escobar dead,” you quipped, “Same as you, I suppose.”

“Ah yes, I certainly want that,” Carrillo agreed, “But I want something else. Something that I imagine might be the same as you.”

You scratched the back of your neck, nervously, not sure where this was going.

“All right, Colonel, I’ll bite. What is it that you want?” you questioned.

Carrillo adjusted his position on the wall, turning so that he was facing you squarely. He looked you straight in the eyes before taking a deep breath, as if he was working up the courage to say something.

“You.”

You felt the air leave your lungs, Carrillo’s face was a puzzle laid before you but before you could say something else, you heard a deep, timbered voice calling your name.

You reluctantly turned around and saw Peña walking up to the both of you, you felt Carrillo shift beside you and let out a sigh, as if he knew something like that would happen.

“I was looking for you,” Javier mumbled, almost as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear but you.

“So, you found me,” your voice was shaky after the Colonel’s admission, and you tried to control it “What?”

“Can we–uh–talk?” he said, and you looked back at Carrillo.

“Can it wait?” you pleaded.

“No,” Javier declared.

“I think I know what this is about,” Carrillo announced, and you frowned at him, asking with your eyes for him to elaborate. But he just stayed quiet, looking between you and Peña.

“What do you mean?” Javier huffed, “This is a private conversation that I need to have with her.”

“I think we all need to have this conversation,” Carrillo mumbled, looking at the ground for half a second before returning his gaze to you and Javier.

“What are you two on?” you asked, frantically, “I am so confused.”

Javier glanced at the Colonel, at the way he was all but shifting around like a nervous kid. He realized Carrillo moved like he was hiding something, like he had a secret he so wanted to confess.

��Do you know something?” Javier questioned him, furrowing his brow. The Colonel turned to study him and there was a small moment in which they said nothing, and their eyes just locked.

And there, Javier saw him, as he was. Colonel Horacio Carrillo was an honorable man, everyone knew that, but as he was honorable he was dark, and Javier had a small suspicion of what he knew and was badly hiding.

Javier felt himself smirk at the man and Carrillo smirked back, and Javi knew it. Because he never misses things like that. For him is like having a sixth sense, somehow enhanced by his career and his experience. He just knows. Javier had never been indifferent to men. After all, being honest with himself, he had a little crush on Steve before he saw the wedding band. And Carrillo was… just his type. He never thought he would have the chance to even get closer to the Colonel like that. In the end, the time was not right and he was quite sure Carrillo wasn’t like that.

Clearly, he had been mistaken.

“Okay you two, I’ve had enough,” you grumbled, “What is going on? I’m sick of these games.”

“This is not a game,” Carrillo said, finally looking at you, you felt your frown get deeper.

“Then what is it?” you demanded.

Javier shrugged and took one last look at Carrillo, as if to confirm his consent, and replied.

“An arrangement,” he deadpanned, “With both of us.”

“If you want it,” Carrillo added, quickly.

You shot up from the wall you were sitting on and turned to glare at both of them. Javier put his hands on his waist and leaned on a leg, and Carrillo stood up as well, clasped hands in front of him, just waiting for you to say something. Anything.

Javier glanced nervously at Carrillo from the corner of his eye, searching his face for any sign of hesitation. I hope this is gonna go how you were planning, Carrillo, he thought, Because if it doesn’t and she refuses to speak to me again after this...I swear to god–

“Where did you get this idea?” you blabbered, feeling the sting of nervousness and insecurity settling into your stomach. Along with something else in your lower belly you refused to acknowledge at all.

Javier sighed, and shook his head.

“Steve Murphy has a big mouth,” he murmured.

“Dios mío,” you exclaimed, “He told you both?”

“Well, he told me,” Javier said, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know about our Colonel over here.”

Now it was Carrillo’s turn to look sheepish.

“No, he didn’t say anything to me,” Carrillo admitted, “I overheard the two of you talking the other day.”

“You eavesdropped on me?” you gasped, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Is nothing I say private?”

Carrillo at least had the grace to look ashamed.

“It was an accident,” he tried to assure you, “But–I don’t regret listening in. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. About you.”

You scrubbed your face with your hands, trying to figure out what you were going to do. It wasn’t that you were–unhappy–more so embarrassed. You’d been carrying this secret for a long time now, and to have it so out in the open made you feel more exposed than ever. And you hated the feeling.

“I’m gonna need a minute,” you said, “Can we talk about this later? I need some space.”

Without waiting for a response, you briskly walked away from the police base and in the direction of the city. You weren’t sure where you were going or when you were going to be back. All that you knew was that your privacy had been massively violated, and you needed some space to collect yourself. Alone. And perhaps when you had calmed down, you could think about Carrillo and Peña’s proposal, like a functioning adult. But right now, you were too embarrassed (and aroused, let’s be real), to think straight.

Javier turned aside to look at Carrillo when your figure had disappeared into the city.

“So,” Javier broke the not-so-awkward silence, “Are you okay with this?”

Carrillo huffed at the question and glanced at the agent, noticing in him things he hadn't noticed before.

“Are you?”

Javier felt his stomach drop at the Colonel’s question… interesting.

“I’m all in,” he replied, smirking at Carrillo.

“Yo también.”

**Scene Break 3**

It was later in the afternoon by the time you had calmed down enough to return to work. You couldn’t believe what had happened today. You absolutely wanted to smack Steve. What you had told him was in confidence, and he had broken that trust. But you couldn’t deny that you were happy with the result. The idea of having even just one of those two men was enough to get you going, but both?

Men like them?

The pool of arousal was already forming in between your legs.

You could not deny how much you had wanted this, and how much you had been dreaming about it. And for a very long time. For god’s sake, you had lost sleep over this shit. It made you feel dirty, filthy, unprofessional. But you just couldn’t help it. You’d done a decent enough job of keeping your feelings in check, but now the cat was out of the bag.

And not only did these two men know how you felt. Apparently, they felt the same way. And for some godforsaken reason, they wanted you.

Were you really going to say no to an opportunity like that? Were you truly that stupid? No matter how much you were angry with Steve.

Connie would lose her shit when you'd call her to tell her about her husband’s work.

You walked into the bullpen and saw the office door opened, the first thing you saw was Javier’s face buried inside a file, his posture rigid and his hands grasping at the folder as if it were a lifeline.

He looked up and his eyes went wide when he saw you walk in.

But then you saw Murphy, sitting like nothing had happened and you saw red. You rushed at him and without a word your hand flew and you smacked him on the back of the head.

“What the fuck?” he yelled, and you heard Javier laughing behind you.

“You asshole,” you hissed, “Exactly what made you think it was a good idea to tell him? I trusted you to keep your mouth shut.”

“Excuse me,” Steve groaned, rubbing the back of his head, “I did you a fucking favor. I got tired of hanging around with you two idiots, just looking at each other and not saying shit.”

“You should not have done that,” you growled, fixing him with what you hoped was your most intimidating glare.

“Perhaps not,” Steve shrugged, “But I don’t regret it.”

“Can I–say something?” Javier asked behind you.

“No. Shut up.” you hissed without looking back at him.

“You do something like this again, and I’ll kill you,” you threatened Steve before storming out of the base, and into the parking lot. You sat in the driver’s seat of your car and banged your head against the steering wheel. You had had every intention of finding Peña and Carrillo and taking them up on their offer, but now all feelings of boldness had been once again replaced by shame and embarrassment. No doubt you were the talk of the police base, what with your massive crush on two of your colleagues.

Although you knew it was irrational, you couldn’t help but feel as though Carrillo and Peña were making fun of you. You knew it was stupid. Both of them were grown-ass men. They wouldn’t be so immature. If they didn’t like you at all, they would have just left you alone. But you just couldn’t help the raging insecurity you were feeling. Perhaps if you had actually told both of them, directly, how you felt, rather than let Steve Murphy do the hard work, then maybe you wouldn’t be feeling this way.

But that was all water under the bridge now, you supposed.

Later that night, you were heating up a pitiful TV-dinner in your apartment, not feeling up to eating, but you needed something, when your phone rang. You froze with the fork halfway to your mouth. There were only a handful of people who had your landline number, and even then, only a few of those people would have the guts to actually call it. This wasn’t going to be a fun conversation.

Sighing, you trudged over to the phone and lifted the receiver to your ear.

“¿Sí?” you asked, quietly, and you heard the low voice of Colonel Carrillo on the other end.

“It’s me,” he said softly, “You left work rather abruptly. I called to see if you were fine.”

“As fine as I can be, given the circumstances,” you grumbled.

“I’m sorry that things transpired the way they did, truly,” Carrillo mumbled, sounding genuinely apologetic, “But I meant it when I said I don’t regret finding out.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” you snarked, “You’re not the one whose colleague breached her trust.”

There was a pause before Carrillo spoke again.

“Do you regret it?”

Now it was your turn to pause, contemplating your words and how you would respond. You didn’t want to hurt him, but at the same time, you wanted to make it clear that you weren’t pleased with the means---even if the end was fantastic.

“I regret how this started,” you replied, slowly, not trusting yourself to say anything further.

Carrillo hummed over the line, contemplating your words.

“I can’t blame you for that,” he said, “But forget about Steve for a moment, please. Have you thought about it?”

You inhaled and held your breath for ten counts, trying to calm down your racing heart. You couldn’t deny that just the mere thought of being in the same room with these two men, especially in a non-platonic setting, was difficult for you.

“I think you know the answer to that, Colonel. You aren’t stupid,” you quipped, “Have you discussed this with Peña? I must admit, I am surprised at you both. This doesn’t seem like something either of you would be interested in.”

“We’ve discussed this, absolutely,” Carrillo said, recalling the deeper conversation he had with Peña earlier that day after you had slapped Steve, “I think we’ve both surprised ourselves, if I’m being honest. But if the attraction is there, it’s there. But I want you to know, there is no pressure. This only goes as far as you want it to go.”

You frowned at that.

“What do you mean?” you pressed.

“Querida,” he sighed, “What happens between the three of us–well–Peña and I know where we stand–it’s up to you now. If you don’t want this, then just say the word. We’ll pretend this conversation never happened.”

You took a shuddering breath and tried to respond as best as you can.

“I–”

“You don’t have to give me an answer now,” Carrillo interrupted gently, “Think about it. Make sure it’s what you want. Then you can let us know.”

“I–ok,” you stuttered, for lack of a better response.

“I should leave you to your evening. But think about it, and let me know what you decide ,” Carrillo said, “Have a good night, querida.”

“Sure, good night, Colonel,” you mumbled, hearing the click on the other end, indicating that Carrillo had hung up.

You passed the rest of the evening in relative silence, going about your mundane business with an extra air of heaviness. Slowly you could feel the embarrassment from the day give way to desire. As you lay by yourself in your bed, clutching at your pillow, you couldn’t help the acute sense of loneliness that you felt. After all, you hadn’t really had anyone before you came to Colombia, and your job here certainly killed whatever chance of having a relationship you might have had. It was why you had so easily fallen for both of your colleagues.

You were lonely. And they were lonely too. But it wasn’t just out of loneliness. You’d seen what Peña was like when he just wanted to have a warm body next to him. Just as it had taken courage for you to confess how you felt to Steve, it must have taken just as much strength for Carrillo and Peña to admit the same to you. This wasn’t going to be a one time thing–born out of isolation and tragedy–it would be something much more meaningful than that. You could feel it.

You glanced at the clock, seeing that it was just past midnight. Although you knew that Carrillo usually stayed up late, you didn’t want to bother him, so you dialed the number of the only other person who you knew would be up this late.

“Hello?” Javier Peña gruffed on the other end, clearly annoyed at having been woken up.

“Javier, it’s me,” you said, by way of greeting. You heard some rustling of bedsheets, no doubt Javier was fully awake now.

“Are you all right?” he asked, concern coloring his tone.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you assured him, “I just–I’ve thought about your offer. Yours and Carrillo’s.”

You heard a sharp intake of breath over the phone.

“And what do you say, cariño?” he questioned, hope ringing in his voice.

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself.

“Yes. I’m saying yes.”

**Scene Break 4**

You sat inside Javier’s car, silently, as he drove the two of you through the streets of Medellín towards Carrillo’s address. It was a Friday–exactly a week from when Carrillo had overheard you talking to Steve, and you were completely floored at how your life had changed that fast. You didn’t regret anything though, not one bit.

You were nervous though. Having one of these men was enough to make you swoon, but both? You weren’t sure what was going to happen. All you knew is that it would be a fantastic night. You just hoped that you could keep up.

A hand on your knee brought you back to the present, and you glanced over to see that Javier was eyeing you out of the corner of his eye as he drove.

“Relax, cariño,” he ordered, “It’s just us.”

You laughed.

“I know, that’s what I’m worried about,” you said, jokingly. But Javier wasn’t having it.

“Why would that make you nervous?” he asked, turning to face you when you had stopped for a red light.

“You two are my friends and colleagues,” you stated, “I don’t–want to disappoint you. Especially since we will have to go back to work after the weekend.”

Javier shook his head and pressed down harder on the accelerator, hoping that if he got you to Carrillo’s place faster, you’d stop your fatalistic thoughts.

“None of that,” he grumbled, shutting down your line of thinking as quickly as he could, “What happens between us tonight stays between us. That’s it. No pressure or expectations. Just enjoy yourself, okay?”

You nodded, not quite trusting yourself to speak. And thankfully, you didn’t have to say anything because you and Javier finally pulled up in front of Carrillo’s house. It was a much larger property than you had expected, with a beautifully-kept lawn and a mango tree just at the front of the house. It was a stunning place to live, and the thought that Carrillo had been staying there alone, with nobody to share it with, for the past several months just left you heartbroken.

Well. That was likely about to change tonight.

“You’re still sure, cariño?” Javier asked, taking your hand in his and staring at your knuckles, “If you’ve changed your mind, I can drive you back now. No questions asked.”

You shook your head.

“I’m completely sure, Javi. Don’t worry,” you assured him, and Javier nodded.

“Bueno,” he mumbled, “Let’s go.” And with that, the two of you walked up the path to Carrillo’s front door and rang the bell. Carrillo answered almost immediately, face relaxing at the sight of you.

“I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding the place,” he greeted, stepping back to allow the two of you to enter his house.

“I have some wine if you would like,” Carrillo suggested, leading you and Javier into the kitchen after the two of you had kicked off your shoes.

Carrillo walked straight to the fridge and took out what appeared to be a pretty expensive brand of wine, but neither you nor Javier said anything in regards to it. Instead, you both sat down and exchanged a series of fugitive glances at each other.

You thought you needed the wine, the bitter, strong taste of alcohol to run through your veins in order to be able to process the moment in its entirety. But suddenly, as you glared at both Javier and Carrillo, there was no need for anything else. No liquid distraction to be drunk beforehand, no ridiculous and meaningless pleasantries or comfort words. You knew those men. You trusted them with your life every day when you went out there on the streets, and you trusted them just as much now. Their mere presence was sufficient to relax you and ease the tension, although you thought they would both agree that the tension was thicker than you could’ve imagined.

“I trust you both, and I care about you both, so damn much.”

It came out of the blue; you weren’t even sure you thought about it in your mind, and yet you said it nonetheless, standing up. Both of them seemed a little surprised by your impromptu confession, but patiently waited for your continuation, if there was any to begin with.

“What I mean is… why make this harder on ourselves? Why bother with small talk and awkward conversations when we can just… do it, enjoy the night?”

Javier was the first one who smirked. And of course he would, he was probably used to a lot of those moments, or similar ones, and had almost no issue baring it all, you thought. You swore, for a brief, almost too rushed moment, that you saw Carrillo hesitate with saying something and averting his eyes from both you and Javier, but you brushed it off. Instead, he looked tall and mighty at you, as his official position required, and smiled gallantly at you.

“You are the one in charge tonight,” he told you.

Simple, yet effective.

From the moment you heard that sentence, it did something to your ego. It gave you an unexpected boost of confidence, it sparked a desire, a flame so bright and hot you wouldn’t have believed it to be true in any other situation.

You took a few steps closer to Carrillo, all the while having Javier watch the scene unfold from the kitchen entrance. He stood up when you did, out of some long-forgotten courtesy that he didn’t used to care about anymore, and he just knew where it was all headed. He recognized the look in your eyes, the longing on your face. He knew what it meant, how much it must’ve consumed you, and he felt oddly enticed and captivated by it.

Just as swiftly as the night began, Carrillo’s hands rested on your waist while he kissed you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he only brought you closer to him; his lips tasted surprisingly sweet, with just a faint tint of nicotine. Your chest was pressed against his, warm clothed skin found yours and you shivered against him. His hands gripped your waist as if saying farewell to them and he slid them up your body. You could feel Peña’s eyes fixed in your bodies, staring at the scene, and when the Colonel broke the kiss to nibble at your neck, you opened your eyes to see him next to you; half-lidded brown deep eyes, an opened bottle of wine in one hand and his lower lip in the other. Your skin was burning, and you had barely been touched.

You smiled at him when Carrillo took your jacket off, Peña smirked and took a sip of wine directly from the bottle, careless about any pleasantries.

Carrillo’s wet tongue latched softly at your pulse point and ripped a low moan out of you, you closed your eyes again when his hands gripped your ass over the fabric of your jeans.

“Colonel, please,” you muttered, sighing as you felt his large hands had fun with your flesh and grip it after hearing the way you called him.

“Words, querida” he just replied, putting some distance between your wet skin and his lips.

“More,” you bit your lip, Carrillo smirked at you and you noticed the way his eyes darkened with desire in front of you. He turned to look at Javier, who was still standing at the kitchen entrance, palming his erection over his jeans.

“Bring that,” Carrillo said, pointing at the bottle, then slid his hand from your ass to the small of your back and guided you towards the staircase.

Between your hazed eyes and the cloud of lust that had begun to invade your mind you looked around Carrillo’s space and wondered how a man like him could live in a place that big. You smiled to yourself when he put his hand on the small of your back and soon enough Peña caught up to you, you felt his ever so imposing presence behind you.

Carrillo opened the door to the bedroom and pushed you softly inside.

You didn’t even have time to take your surroundings in when you felt a pair of warm hands find your hips and a set of lips grazing at your earlobe. Your eyes closed by themselves and the sweet, strong smell of Javier’s cologne invaded your nostrils as he pulled your back flush against his chest.

“Sh–shit,” you let out, half a whisper, half a moan, when you felt Carrillo’s hands roam around your waist.

You were losing yourself between the touch of the two of them, you shivered when Carrillo cupped your breast as Javier nibbled at the skin of your neck, from behind, you tilted your head to the side to give him more room to do whatever–the–fuck he pleased with your neck.

“Mírate, chiquita,” Carrillo whispered, you felt his breath on your lips and when you re-opened your eyes you saw him inches away from your face “you’re already wrecked.”

You felt Javier chuckling against your flushed skin, and you bit your lower lip, bringing a hand to the Colonel’s nape to pull him closer and kiss him again.

One of Javier’s hands found itself under your shirt, his mouth was moving and his other hand pulled softly at your shirt over your shoulder to find more skin to lick and kiss. Carrillo found the hem of your shirt and broke the kiss to look at you, as if asking for permission and reassurance that you wanted what he wanted. Javier watched the silent exchange and smirked against the skin of your shoulder, he gave it a last brush of his mustache and a last kiss before you nodded to the Colonel and he helped you out of the garment.

Carrillo smiled to himself when he saw what you’ve been hiding under it, a black, only-lace bra that showed the shade of your nipples, you bit your lip again when you took in his disheveled figure, his notorious erection under his military green pants that made the pool between your legs grow.

“How are you this fucking beautiful?” Javier muttered behind you, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses behind your ear to your nape.

Your breath hitched when Carrillo kneeled in front of you and you felt your chest heaving with desire when his large fingers dextrely unbuttoned your jeans and his thumbs hooked on the hem. He looked at you again and you nodded for a second time. Javier looked over your shoulder at the Colonel slowly sliding your jeans off your hips then your legs and he left his hands roam around the now naked skin of your torso. Your hands landed on the back of his head, and he took the hint, attacking the skin of your neck once again.

Carrillo threw your jeans away once he helped you out of them and you moaned loudly when his lips grazed against your knee. One of your hands dropped to grab Carrillo’s head as his trail of kisses moved up, up, up until he reached the soft skin where your thigh and your hip joined. You were sure he could smell your arousal, you were sure he could feel it at that point and you didn’t care, for once you let yourself only feel and let all thought out of your mind while you felt two mouths, two men, take care of you.

There was no hesitation from Javier’s side as his fingers gently grazed up your spine, expertly unclasping your bra, taking in the image of the straps loosening on your smooth skin. He was damn near panting at the mere sight, but he had to remind himself that that was only the tip of the iceberg. The moans you were letting escape your mouth as Carrillo pressed gentle kisses on your inner thighs aided him in no way. He felt himself get harder and harder and fought off raging instincts to turn that moment into another one of his one-night stands.

Javier made sure he tasted your skin while he took the straps from both sides between his fingers and slid them off your shoulders, he felt you shivering under his hands and over Horacio’s mouth and you could feel the smirk on your skin, once the bra came off, Javier took your chin and moved your head to face him, he pressed his mouth on yours, his tongue hungry for your scent, invading your cavities and feeling your warmth rush through his body with the speed of light. Everything about your scent was intoxicating and consuming, and ever so addicting that he could barely find it in himself to stop.

But then his calloused hands found your breasts and oh–oh, shit.

That first squeeze, tantalizingly slow and powerful, took you out completely. You gasped, and you weren’t sure if it was Horacio’s warm breath in between your legs or Javier fondling your breasts, but you embraced the overwhelming effect both had on you. Javier squeezed again, and moved around to locate the sweet torture of his mouth onto your nipples, taking one in his mouth whilst his thumb moved over the other one, twisting it in between his fingers as he nibbled at your skin. His tongue left a glistening trail as he peppered kisses in between your breasts, moving up your sternum, collarbones and neck and focusing on one particular spot that seemed to drive you wild. So much so that you reached behind your back to grab a handful of his hair, pull him in closer however you could.

“Lay her down, Peña,” Carrillo cooed, and the man followed suit.

You saw the Colonel untuck his shirt and take it off while Javier kneeled on the bed and helped you lay down on it, the softness of the sheets embraced you and the coldness made you whimper softly.

It was a premiere for him to witness Javier Peña, of all people, being so submissive and attentive, but he had other matters to focus on at the moment. His mouth left your already glistening and plump lips to grab the bottle of wine, your eyes followed him as you felt Carrillo’s hands spread your legs open and kiss the inside of your legs again, Javier came back to the bed and kneeled next to you, his hand gripping the bottle and the other cupping your face, he smiled softly at you and took a sip from the bottle; you moaned when Carrillo’s hands worked to get you out of your lace panties and Javier leaned down to you, the hand that cupped your face moved to your chin and he opened your mouth with his thumb, letting the wine pour from his mouth to yours, the wine was warm and it tasted sweet, when you closed your mouth and swallowed, Javier’s thumb grazed your lips and you heard a hard pant next to you, you turned to see Carrillo’s lusted face, you gave him a soft smile and he all but threw himself to you, kissing your mound, you moaned again and Javier leaned back, bringing the chilled bottle closer to your body, letting the tip of it graze against your warm skin, between the cold sensation and Carrillo’s lips tasting you, you were about to scream, Javier looked at you, smirked and pour some of the wine all over your breasts and abdomen, immediately reaching down on your again to lick the liquid off. A bit of the wine had traveled down your abdomen to your lower belly and found its way into Carrillos mouth, the feeling of the cold wine and their tongues made you growl. You had two pairs of equally sinful and skilled lips teasing and licking deliciously well over your exposed skin, and you had half of mind to grab either one of them and get to business. You couldn’t recall the last time you felt so aroused, but it was all a masterful torture and all for a good time. If anyone else was allowed to have their downtime, why shouldn’t you?

It was somewhat futile to even attempt to please either one of the men in return; their own pleasure seemed to be revolving around yours and they were both doing such an incredible job out of it that you had a hard time trying to keep track of where did the waves of pleasure come from anymore. It was all one big tsunami of feelings, from overstimulation to lust and appreciation and love in some form.

Carrillo continued his ministrations while Javier licked the remains of the wine from your body, his tongue traveled to your sternum and he took a nipple on his mouth ever so briefly, then he stood up and quickly undressed, not bothering to be cool about it, he just threw his clothes to the floor while he looked at Horacio have the time of his life between your legs, you let out soft moans and whispers and while Javier took off his jeans he saw your hand grip Carrillo’s hair as your hips hatched against the Colonel’s face. You felt his tongue flicking your clit and he pushed a thick finger inside you, curling it around, building you up and throwing you off the cliff with the same force he had put you there. You came on his mouth with his name on yours.

As you laid on the bed, legs spread for Carrillo as he helped you ride off your orgasm, Javier kneeled back on the bed next to your face, his hand snaked its way around your neck, gently grabbing both sides and helping you take his erection in your mouth, which you were more than happy to do. You could tell he was somewhat tensed: he was doing his absolute best to control his motions and to keep it at a normal rhythm, but the more you involuntarily groaned as Carrillo began to glide his tongue across your slit once again, building up your second climax, the more Javier was slowly losing bits and pieces of himself. Within seconds, you could just tell you weren’t gonna last long, but neither would Javier as he picked up the face and jerked his hips forward more and more, thus obliging you to take more of him in. You couldn’t explain it, nor find any logic behind the action itself, but you swore you felt his release in Javier’s impatient thrusts and, sure enough, mere seconds later, he finally came, grunting as ropes of his seed dripped down your jaw.

Your moans returned when Carrillo added two fingers to his mouthy torture over your clit, and you felt like you could explode. Not long after that all-too familiar gut feeling, that almost persistent desire to burn, you came for a second time, eager to jerk your hips forward and meet as much as you could of Carrillo’s tongue, but this time, the man’s grip over your thighs was impossible to break. He held you in place ever so expertly and ate you out like you were his favorite five course meal, soaking up every ounce of juice that you provided him with.

You temporarily lost feeling in your arms as you tried to raise them to make at least Javier pay attention, but words also failed to leave your abused mouth.

“Que buena chica,” Carrillo said from somewhere down below. (What a good girl.)

Your brain didn’t register what he said properly. All you could feel was a fire so intense, so vivid, you nearly saw stars. And something told you that was only the beginning.

And you were proven right.

In the momentary lack of physical touch, you thought about the moment itself, having two of the strongest, most desirable men eager to please you–simultaneously, might you add–and the more you thought about it, the more it threw you off completely. Why? You weren’t really sure. Perhaps it was the idea in the back of your mind that you wouldn’t have thought yourself capable of that. Or them, really. The activity hadn’t been exactly on your to-do list over the past few years and yet now, you couldn’t have thought of a better way to figure out your feelings for them, and to spare time.

The freshly acquired ecstasy was not only enthralling, but efficient as well.

After your second orgasm at Horacio’s ministrations you saw him between your lusted, narrowed eyes, undress completely, Javier was next to you, trailing his fingers up and down your wet torso–wet with wine and his saliva, what a fucking thought– while the both of you saw Carrillo take the remains of his clothes off and took in his lean figure, Javier smirked when he saw him whole and thought to himself the things he would do to the man if he had the time.

Javier wrapped his arms around your waist and helped you roll over to the side to face him, licking his bottom lip in the process and made sure you watched as he did so. He had been eyeing you up and down the entire day, whether clothed or not, and every glance he threw you, ever so dark and desirable, filled with subtext and desire, made you weaker and weaker, just like Carrillo’s touches were.

You reached his face and took his lips in yours, his tongue slid inside your mouth and as he explored the insides and his hand grabbed fistfuls of your ass, you felt the bed shifting behind you, and another hand snaked from behind and found your breast, you were being pressed against and between two bodies and the wam of them was driving you insane, when Carrillo’s fingers played with your nipple you bucked your hips forward and you felt Javier’s erection graze at your lower belly. Javier moved his hand from your ass to your thigh and then he let it slide to your pussy, you bucked your hips backwards and you felt Carrillo’s erection graze at your ass.

“How are you still this wet, bonita?” Javier asked, while his fingers found themselves between your lips.

“Don’t you know the answer by now, Javi?” you muttered, feeling the way Carrillo’s mouth found your shoulders.

You glanced at him and Carrillo the same way Javier looked at you and you understood in an instant why he always preferred to be that way. It was enticing, addicting and sinful, just the way he was.

And by the looks of it, Colonel Horacio Carrillo was no saint either.

“How do you want this to go, chiquita?” Horacio asked behind you as you moved your leg up to allow Javier’s fingers to find a way inside you.

You sighed. Why was he asking you that question when you weren’t even sure something like this would happen? For a brief, brief second you wanted to hide, just grab your clothes and hide. But you found yourself sandwiched between the men that you most desired and you just couldn’t waste this opportunity for the life of you.

So you rummaged around your deepest, filthiest fantasies you’ve had when everything had just been a sinful dream, a product of your lascive thoughts giving into what you catalogued as your darkest secrets and desires and you found one you couldn’t stop think about after it had given you a stars–behind–the–eyes orgasm.

“I want both,” you muttered, feeling the way both men groaned at your sides, “both inside me, please.”

“You sure?” Javier asked, pulling out his fingers from your cunt and looking at the way they glistened, you nodded.

“Words, chiquita,” Horacio said and you turned to see him, he leaned down and stole a short, deep kiss.

“I’m a hundred percent sure,” you murmured against the Colonel’s lips.

“Let’s get you ready, then,” Javier whispered on your neck and you sighed when his fingers slid back into your slit, you closed your eyes when Horacio played your nipples around his fingers and then his hand roamed down your body, finding their way to your pussy.

“Déjame entrar,” Horacio said under his breath, Javier stopped moving his fingers inside you and you squeezed your eyes tighter when Carrillo slid two more fingers inside your cunt.

“Fu–fuck, fuck,” you gasped, Javier let open mouthed kisses around your face and the skin of your neck within reach while your walls tightened around their thick fingers.

“You okay?” Javier asked and you nodded a few times before your body relaxed and got used to the intrusion.

“Mo–move,” you pleaded, feeling Horacio’s mouth nibbling at your shoulder and your neck.

Javier and Horacio moved their fingers at the same time inside you, looking at each other as if marking a dancing pace. You didn’t know what to do with yourself as they moved in and out and curled their fingers in all directions inside you, making you moan and whimper and open up more for them as they somehow found an identical pace to torture you with.

“Eso, eso nena, lo estás haciendo muy bien,” Carrillo praised behind you, feeling the way your walls were giving into the attention and dilating around their fingers (That’s it baby, you’re doing great)

“Más,” you pleaded, rolling your hips against their hands “Más, más,”

They grinned at each other, Javier’s eyes landed on your face and took in the way your features quirked in pure pleasure. Their fingers moving at the same time, pacing in and out faster. Javier’s mouth landed on your shoulder and Carrillo only took in the lewd noise his and Javier’s fingers were making as they pulled in and out at a murdering pace.

“Oh, sh–shit,” you bit your lip and tried to hide your face inside the crook of Javier’s neck but Horacio pulled you away with his other hand.

“We wanna hear you, querida.” he whispered behind your ear, you shivered again at the feeling of his warm breath and then it became too much, their fingers were covered in your arousal as you spread your legs impossibly wider as your throat began growling and your hands landed on both of them, digging your nails on their flesh. Javier hissed against your shoulder and Carrillo bit the skin of your mouth, both of them throwing you together from the cliff and your body spasmed between them.

“Oh my god, oh shit, fuck!” you screamed between their bodies and they slowed their pace to help you ride down your climax “please, please, fuck me, please,” you let out, almost desperately, eager to feel the same with them inside you. They slid their fingers out of you and you shivered again.

Your body was already a mess, after three powerful orgasms you were panting for air, the only thing you wanted was them inside you, you wanted to feel every ridge and every vein of them, you wanted; you needed to cum around them both.

“What is taking you so long?” you opened your eyes, quite frustrated at the lack of attention to your bodies, but the sight that you took in was otherworldly.

Carrillo had his fingers, his covered–in–your–arousal fingers inside Javier’s mouth.

“Fuck,” you let out, dropping your head on the mattress, looking at the way Javier grabbed Horacio’s wrist to keep his hand on his mouth and lick them clean of you while Horacio’s deep gaze took Javier in with a smirk adorning his face.

Horacio pulled his fingers out with a soft pop and they both looked at you, panting and brushing a nipple with your fingers.

“Next time you’ll have to put on a show for me,” you teased.

“You’re ready?” Javier asked, leaning down to kiss your temple, you looked at Carrillo and smiled at him as he licked his fingers.

“Very,” you replied, softly, your voice was already hoarse because of the moaning and screaming they had pulled out of you, they got comfortable on each of your side and you took a deep breath when Horacio lifted your leg and hooked it on his hip.

Javier was the first one to tease your entrance with the dripping head of his cock, when you felt it sliding up and down your slit you gasped and as he pushed himself inside you you grabbed his arm and licked any part of his skin available for you.

“Oh my god,” you cried out softly.

Javier was having a hard time staying still when your walls were warm and wet around him, his hands roamed around your body as Carrillo lined himself with you and him as well and then he pushed.

“Holy fucking shit,” you had close your eyes at the feeling of Horacio making his way inside of you, you breathed and panted and tried so hard to relaxe but they were thicker than their fingers and your pussy was clenching already around them. Javier took your hand and you squeezed his as both of them bottomed up inside you.

Horacio put his hands over the entanglement of yours and Javi’s and the three of you gasped and panted until your body stopped squirming between them and your walls stopped closing themselves at the feeling of two thick cocks making their way inside.

Javier had to close his eyes as well when he felt how your cunt clenched him tight closer to Horacio and he felt himself throb inside you, when he opened his eyes he saw you, open mouthed gasps leaving your body as it got used to being that full, and then his eyes traveled to Horacio, that buried himself in the crook of your neck, he supposed he was feeling the same way as him, trapped in a oh–so–tight hole with him.

“Move, move, move,” you all but begged, the initial sting of being filled like that disappearing and being replaced with the darkest, deepest, hottest desire you had ever felt, “fu–fucking move already!”

Horacio smirked against the skin of your neck at your demand and moved slightly to look at Javier, who nodded once and then, murdering pleasure; Javier pulled out and as he was thrusting slowly back in, Horacio pulled out and moved in as Javier moved out and you gasped and the air in your lungs left you for the time being as your cunt was filled with the two men you wanted the most.

It was pleasure delivered in a delicious swing of two hips rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth into you, making you impossibly wetter, incredibly hornier, and way too lost in the haze to even care about anything else.

The way that they were fucking you was shameless, the noises were lewd and your moans invaded the room as soon as they picked up the pace and kept driving into you at the same pace but in different directions.

Four hands caressed your body, two sets of lips nibbled at your skin, two tongues tasted the salty sheet of sweat that had covered your body, two thick cocks used your body at their will, making you want to explode; it was an eager combination of feelings and sensations pulled out of the most sensual, lechery, degenerated dreams you could ever had.

“Harder, please, pleasepleaseplease,” you panted out, gripping any skin and limb your hands could find. Your hips started rolling and rolling and rolling with them as they thrusted and pounded inside you.

“Mierda,” Horacio gasped behind you, biting at your skin, making you whimper.

“You’re so fucking tight, so fu–fucking good, baby,” Javier cried out as your pussy clenched around them and you absentmindedly rolled your hips harder.

It was an entanglement of limbs and wet skin, mouths clashing against skin, hands gripping and grabbing available flesh, a swing of bodies and a symphony of licks, kisses, hums, gasps, pants, begs and praises.

“Shit, sh–shit,” you panted harder and clawed at Javier’s arm when you felt the well-familiar tug on your belly of an incoming orgasm, you hummed and moaned and you felt lips in your ear, licking and nibbling at your earlobe, “I’m so close, más,”

Javier gritted his teeth when you demanded more and angled his hips to pound inside harder, Horacio followed his lead, dropping his hand on Javier’s shoulder for leverage. Carrillo’s touch burned in Javier’s skin and he felt his body stiffen with the feeling of his second release.

“Por dios, querida, me estás matando.” Horacio cried out behind you, feeling as well his body falling from the cliff. (My god, you’re killing me)

Javier’s free hand slid through your wet, glistening skin and his finger circled your clit slowly, you screamed his name, your legs buckled and your entire body squirmed with the sea of sensations your body was feeling and flooding with.

“Cum inside me, please, please,” you panted again, feeling the way your legs started to shake as both of their thrust became erratic and Javier’s finger kept circling around your bundle of nerves you exploded around them, gushing out and soaking them as your orgasm made you scream both their names.

“Mierda, querida, mírate,” Horacio grunted before he gave into the lustfulness of it all and came inside you and around Javier.

Once Javi felt the warmness of Carrillo’s release and the way you soaked both of them and his hand, he locked his hips with yours and spilled himself inside as well, gasping out your name.

“Ohmyfuckinggod,” you let out as a sigh, feeling your legs tremble with the strength of your climax.

The three of you stayed like that, joined, for a while. As your bodies relaxed you finally opened your eyes and saw the way Horacio’s hand was resting on Javier’s shoulder, wrapping you as well between them. Both of them breathing heavily, eyes closed, recovering from whatever the hell you had done was called. You sighed and smiled to yourself. If it weren’t for the four orgasms you had and the way your cunt was throbbing after the abuse and dripping with their seed, you wouldn’t believe it was real at all.

“How was that, cariño?” Javier asked, grazing a hand up and down your arm.

“That was–magnificent,” you gushed, not sure how else to describe that positively euphoric experience, “I think–you two have worn me out.”

Horacio chuckled and moved your head to press a kiss to your forehead, and shifted to allow all three of you to lie somewhat comfortably under the covers. You whined when they pulled out of you, solely because at the loss of them, you felt empty.

“Rest now, querida, we’ll be here in the morning,” he whispered into your hair, and that was all the permission you needed.

“We should–” you brought a hand to your mouth to cover a massive yawn, “–do this again sometime.”

After that, it didn’t take long before you had succumbed to the tempting pull of sleep. Horacio sighed and glanced over your shoulder at Javier, who looked rather worn out himself. Tenderly, Horacio reached over and brushed aside a small strand of hair that had fallen in Javi’s face.

“So, same time next week, then?” Horacio asked, giving Javier a lazy smirk, which was returned in kind.

“Yeah,” Javier mumbled, turning over to drape his arm around your way and bury his face in your neck.

“Absolutely.”

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tomtenadia · 3 years ago

Text

A Little Braver - 23

Here we are... the fluff is finally here and Rowan is back.

Enjoy the chapter.

6 months later

The months and seasons had slowly turned and autumn in Terrasen was in full swing with the trees now having lost of all of their leaves and the days turning chilly and October had brought with it all the smells of the season.

Rowan got out of the airbase and looked up at the sky and he could smell snow in the air. His favourite type of weather. He breathed in deeply and enjoyed for a second the feeling of being on land once again after months on a ship. This last deployment had taken a toll on the whole squadron and all of his team members had plans of enjoying their well deserved time off.

“Rowan!” A voice called him and he turned seeing Gavriel coming his way “need a lift somewhere?”

“I was going to call a taxi.”

“Come, I’ll drive you to the fire station.” The man said, knowing full well where Rowan was headed.

Rowan nodded and thanked him. Aelin had told him she was coming off shift around noon. It was eleven and he had some time.

“Are you looking forward seeing Aelin again?” Asked Gavriel once in the car.

“Yes, I have missed her like crazy.”

The man at his side chuckled “you never missed Lyria this much. Never spent so much time on your phone either calling her or texting her.”

Rowan sighed “Aelin is different.”

Gavriel nodded “you found a great one. Truly.”

Gavriel had never been a fan of Lyria either. And the more he thought about it the more he realised that a lot of people have never been keen on his ex wife. No one ever believed she was actually in love with him, but his friends now were fully supporting him with Aelin. Maybe this was how it was actually meant to go.

While he was wool-gathering they had arrived at the fire station and Gav had parked beside the pavement to let him out.

“Have fun you two.”

“Have a nice time off too, my friend.”

Rowan grabbed his duffel bag and turned to the yard. The doors to the apparatus floor were closed. He peeked through the glass and spotted engine and truck. Good, they were in. Now he had to try and make it a surprise.

A moment later he spotted Luca coming out of the main communal area and grabbed his arm “shhh Luca, it’s me.”

The young man turned and smiled deeply when he recognised him.

“Can you please ask Aelin if she can come out here? Invent an excuse, please.” The boy grinned and nodded in understanding “welcome back, captain. She missed you.”

“I missed her too.” He admitted while adjusting his uniform.

At that Luca walked out and Rowan bravely climbed on top of the engine. Dropped his bag and lay low until he heard her voice.

“Luca, what is it? Is there something wrong with the rigs?”

Rowan kept silent and hid a bit better but with his height it was difficult. He also felt the crazy urge to giggle like a schoolgirl.

His legs hit the rail and he noticed her turn around looking for the origin of the sound.

“Come out. Show your face. I can kick your arse.”

He grinned and sat on the rig with his legs swinging from the edge while she had her back at him “Is that so, captain?”

He saw her turn and her expression morphed in the smile he adored. Being apart from her had been hell. He had no true idea how mad he was about her until he was forced to spend six months away from Aelin. The thought that he still had four years of that, made him want to scream.

Aelin gasped as she noticed Rowan sitting on top of the fire engine “you are back.” She said softly and Rowan nodded and heard her sniffle “you are truly back.” Aelin could not believe her eyes and for a moment she thought she had fallen asleep and it was all a dream.

“Come up here and see it for yourself.”

Aelin moved as if in a daze, slowly climbed the ladder and once at the top his strong arms pulled her to him and they fell into a heap on top of the hoses.

“Hey you…” he said as Aelin lay on top of him. Her blue eyes fixed on him.

“Hey you…” she replied burying her face in the crook of his neck to inhale the scent of him. He was home, he was back. He was real. Rowan’s arms wound around her in a tight hug “you have no idea how much I missed you. Since they told us when we were coming back I have been counting the days that I still had to spend away from you.”

Aelin did not reply she just melted in his embrace “you have been away from me 192 days and 20 hrs.” She said softly against his neck. She had counted each single day and the more they accumulated, the more she longed for the moment she could hug him and kiss him again.

“It felt like an eternity.”

Rowan turned his face and finally met her gaze and his eyes dropped to her lips and she must have noticed his stare because she looked up at him and kissed him.

The taste of her lips was enough to cancel all the longing of those months apart. He deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing her lips until she opened for him and a moan escaped Rowan’s mouth as tongues clashed and she moved fully on top of him.

“Aelin…” he said against her lips.

“I know, we are on top of the engine and I know how paranoid you are. Let’s just make out for a while, then once I am off shift we can go home and indulge in more private activities.”

They made out heavily for a good half an hour, then they finally came up for breath. With his hand Rowan pulled back a strand of hair from her face then flipped her nose feeling desperate for contact with her even if they were almost glued together.

“You seem tired.”

Her head thumped on his chest “long and busy shift.”

“Looks like someone needs some heavy cuddling tonight.”

She stared at him and grinned “always. And a back rub.”

“Something else?”

Her grin became wicked “of course, but later.”

She had so much to tell him but she would do it once they were back at home. On top of a fire engine was not ideal.

“I thought you were going to bring Lorcan too.”

“He will meet with Elide later I think. He always has a lot to do after we come back from a mission. But he will see her. The man has been pining like crazy.”

Aelin laughed “honestly? I can’t believe it.”

“Hey I was there and I couldn’t believe it.”

Aelin sat up “come on, let’s go and say hi to the others.”

“No,” he pulled her down back to him and squeezed her.

She brushed his hair and he closed his eyes and he almost purred in delight. Aelin smiled. Iceman, the man who seemed incapable of showing emotions was addicted to cuddling.

They stayed on top of the rig until Aelin heard Peter’s voice and second team arriving.

“Come on, buzzard, second team is here which means it’s time for us to go home.”

Swiftly she made her way down and Rowan followed.

“Hi Pete!” She greeted him happily.

The man looked behind her back “welcome back, sir.”

Rowan turned red at being caught sneaking down the engine but the other captain did not seem bothered.

“Thank you. It’s nice to be back.”

In that instant her whole team poured out in the main area and spotted Rowan behind her.

“Oh, that’s why she never got back.” Said Brullo.

“Yes, yes, the captain and I were cuddling on top of the rig. Now go home and relax.”

Lysandra moved closer to her ear “go and get some, girl. Just don’t make me an aunt yet.”

Aelin laughed “promise.”

The team walked out and Aelin grabbed Rowan’s hand “let me get out of this uniform.”

They reached the changing rooms and it was full of the guys from the second team. She went to her locker and opened the door and disappeared behind it.

“How was the night, cap?”

“Long,” she said, popping her head from behind the door “it seemed like the whole of east Orynth needed us last night.” She saw Rowan on the doorstep and smiled at him while wearing a polo shirt and then a hoodie “oh yeah we had to evacuate a couple who got stuck in an elevator.” And she grinned at Rowan “and by the time we got to open the trap they had decided to pass the time in an interesting way.”

“No bloody way,” commented Peter from his corner.

“The idiots,” she slammed the locker closed “I’ll see you all in a day.” She grabbed her bag and joined Rowan who was waiting for her. He pulled his arm around her shoulder “do you always change with the guys around?”

“Are you jealous?” he did not reply.

“Ro,” she stopped “they are not interested in me. And if I have to strip naked for my shower I’ll do it in private. But if they see me in my knickers and bra, what’s the difference with strangers seeing me in a bathing suit?” She replied “and as you saw I wear sports bra and comfy knickers for work. The sexy stuff is just for you.”

“I guess that firefighting with a thong is not recommended.”

Aelin laughed and they got to the car “jump in, buzzard.”

Before going home they stopped at the supermarket and Aelin explained she had nothing in the house and Rowan rolled his eyes muttering something about her diet.

At the supermarket she went to get a hand held basket but Rowan pulled her towards the bigger trolleys telling her that they needed to do a big shopping since he was back and was going to cook.

Once inside, Rowan offered to push the trolley and Aelin just grabbed his arm and walked at his side, happy at the domestic scene. They were shopping together and he had not mentioned his flat. Maybe she was worrying about nothing about asking to make it official and move in with her.

“Why are you buying all these veggies?” She asked him as he stopped at the vegetables and fruit aisle.

“To cook.” He stooped for a kiss “and stop complaining.”

They kept walking around the supermarket and Aelin saw the trolley getting fuller and fuller. It looked as if Rowan had every intention of keeping her well fed. Not that she complained.

An hour later they finally made it to the checkout. Rowan told her to put the groceries on the belt while he packed and she giggled at the military precision with which he packed.

She paid for the shopping and he carried the bags back to the car.

“We should have a budget for groceries. This one was big because you have nothing in the house.”

“Make sure the budget allows for chocolate expenses.”

“We’ll see.”

They got back in the car and not long after they were finally back at home.

Once inside, Rowan dropped the bags on the kitchen island and started unpacking straight away.

Aelin dropped his bag in the bedroom and joined him in the kitchen with bird Rowan in her arms “someone else wants to say hi.”

Rowan smiled “it’s actually quite nice. It looked lovely online.”

Aelin hugged the toy “he is so soft.”

“Come on, help me unpack.” She put bird Rowan back in the bedroom and went back to the kitchen and together they methodically unpacked the groceries ready to feed a family of five.

Slowly she watched her fridge become full again, something she hadn’t seen in six months.

“Now, let me take a shower, get changed and I’ll make lunch.” He kissed her softly and Aelin purred.

“A quick shower. If you come in as well we’ll never have lunch.”

“Spoilsport.” She turned but Rowan grabbed her arms and pulled her to his chest, his arm around her waist and his mouth on her neck trailing hot kisses along its length. Aelin threw her head back, but Rowan pulled back “fun times later. Food first.”

Aelin groaned in silence at the loss of contact with his body.

When he came back from his quick shower he found her on their bed with her huge hockey jersey and a pair of shorts, barely visible under the huge item of clothing. His eyes landed on her long legs and until that moment he had not fully realised how desperately he needed her. But lunch was a priority and he could not get distracted.

“Come on young lady, let’s go and get you fed.” He offered her a hand and Aelin climbed down the bed and they got to the kitchen.

Aelin sat on the counter and studied him while he set out all of the ingredients and started prepping them.

Then she decided to be brave and pose the question “Ro, do you want to move in with me? As in officially?”

Rowan looked at her perplexed “I thought that’s what we were doing? Living together?”

“Are we though? We never talked about it. You just stayed here after the accident.”

“So?” He asked while slicing the carrots.

“You still have your flat and some stuff there. And I understand if you want to keep your place for yourself to have a moment away from me if it gets too much. I know I am an handful.”

Rowan threw the veggies in the pan and then moved to her.

“Rowan the hob.” She ordered him. Her firefighter paranoia kicking in.

He switched off the gas and moved to her, between her legs and gently took her face in his hands “I only kept my flat in case you got fed up with me and threw me out. I don’t need it. I can sell it.” His hand brushed her hair “I thought I threw you enough hints that I was not moving out. Yes, you are a handful but I love living with you.”

Her arms went around his neck “so we are doing it.” Rowan nodded and kissed her “I can bring all my stuff here in the next few days.”

“I have a spare bedroom, dump your stuff in there.” She grinned and her legs went around his back and kissed him in a dangerous way, but he pulled back.

“Lunch?”

“I am famished.”

“Then let me cook.”

She smiled and swinged her legs happily. She could not believe it. She and Rowan had been together officially for around nine months but only spent three of those together and they were now officially shacking up. She was excited and for some strange reason it felt normal. With Sam it had taken much longer. They had been dating for over a year before she asked him. But with Rowan had felt natural, probably because of how their living situation had started.

“Now, this is how a stir fry looks like.”

“Still too many veggies.”

“Menace.”

Aelin grinned and stole a piece of chicken from the pan. His food tasted so much better than her mess.

Eventually they finished dinner and ended up on the sofa, Aelin all cosied up against him mentally getting ready to tell him everything that had happened while he was away.

“Ro,” she said softly, holding him “I have to tell you something.”

He looked down to her and her tone scared him.

“What, Fireheart?”

Aelin loosened a breath “while you were away a lot of stuff happened. Bad stuff.”

She felt him stiffen “how bad?”

And Aelin told him. About Hamel, her working with the police. Being assaulted in the house, Aedion being shot and the wedding postponed. Her going undercover and almost getting killed again before the detectives shot Hamel. About Hamel being the cause of Sam and Thomas’ deaths.”

Rowan stood abruptly and started pacing in the living room. His expression difficult to read. Rowan paced a bit more and a few times it seemed like he wanted to say something but then stopped. There was rage in him.”A guy, a stranger was in our house and tried to kill you. Hamel’s men tried to kill Aedion and you, not happy of all this, just went and played cop and almost got killed again?” He was not raising his voice but Aelin knew, he was furious. He paced around the coffee table “Rutting hell, what the fuck were you thinking?”

Aelin was taken aback by the harshness of his words “why you didn’t tell me?” His tone angry. His hand nervously ran through his hair. For a brief second he even stopped his pacing but never looked at Aelin in the eyes.

“You were away. How could I?” She stood in front of him “if I had told you, you would have worried and not concentrated on your job and risked getting killed. And I could not have that. I…” she felt tears stinging her eyes “I can’t lose you.”

“What if I lost you?” He shouted back at her, giving his back to Aelin “I can’t lose you either. And I almost did. Twice.” He walked out on the balcony and Aelin let him go and went back to the bedroom and curled on the bed hugging bird Rowan. And cried.

Rowan leaned against the rail of the balcony and stared at the lights of the city slowly coming alive as darkness fell. He was furious, but not at her. He was mad at fate who gave him a woman to love once again and did its best to take her from him. In an instant all his fears, all his doubts and his reasons for not getting involved again had come back. He took his head in his hands and the weak part in him told him to bail. To ignore that just earlier they had taken an extra step in their relationship and just get out of there. Go back being alone and cold. It was far easier.

Except it was not.

He turned to the house and looked at the bedroom. Aelin was curled in bed. He could not leave her. No matter the fears, he could not give up on her, not when she brought him happiness and gave him again the will to feel. He could not go back to a life of ice, pain and guilt. So he did the only thing he could do. He walked back to their bedroom.

She was all curled up and hugging the bird he gave her.

He climbed in bed with her and pulled her closer but Aelin turned and faced him, her eyes all puffy.

“I am sorry, I am a jerk.” he whispered, brushing her hair from her face and drying her tears with the back of his hand “I haven’t seen you in six months and all I can do is shout at you.” He kissed her once “I am not mad at you. Yes, you are reckless but I am more mad at what happened.” He hugged Aelin and drew her closer “I can’t stand the idea that you had to go through all this. And Sam…”

Aelin buried her face in his neck “I am better. Lys and the guys kept me from breaking down. Without them I don’t know…”

Rowan sighed “I should have been here. It looks like I haven’t learned from my past.” At the deep anguish in his voice, Aelin grabbed his face and kissed him deeply.

“You make me stupidly happy.” He told her, a hand brushing her head “and no matter how scared I am of your job or of what the future holds for us, I am not letting you go.” But she sensed unease in his voice.

She sniffled “you are still a bit mad at me.”

Rowan shook his head “no, not at you. At a lot of things, yes. But not mad at you.” His forehead brushed hers “I was overwhelmed and I overreacted. I am glad you did not tell me.” His nose bumped hers “you are right I would have been worried sick and not being able to concentrate and in our line of jobs is a deadly thing.”

Aelin nodded and kissed him gently “thank you for coming back to me.” She whispered against his lips.

“I made you a promise.” His hand sneaked under her shirt, caressing the length of her back. Aelin rolled on her back and pulled her jersey off, remaining only in her shorts. Rowan’s gaze became lustful and she pulled him down to her for a heated kiss. Rowan reached for the back of his t-shirt and pulled it off and discarded it on the floor and then moved on top of her, caging her head between his arms. Aelin took in the expanse of his chest with her hands, then followed the lines of his tattoo with her fingers.

“I missed this so much,” he whispered as his head ducked in the crook of her neck.

“Definitely better than on the phone,”Aelin joked pulling him down to her completely, skin touching. His mouth trailed south leaving scorching kisses on her collarbone and then down to her breasts. Aelin’s back arched on instinct and in response Rowan took one of her hard peaks in his mouth and Aelin moaned, fingers burying in his back and leaving gentle moon-shaped marks.

Aelin rocked her hips for friction and she felt Rowan grin “so impatient.”

“I need you…” she breathed “we can have all the foreplay in the second run, but not now…”

His mouth bit lightly on her neck then his hand slid down until it hit the band of her shorts and knickers “so I guess you don’t need these…” and in a swift motion she was bare in front of him.

“Well, if I am naked, so do you, captain.” Rowan smiled and peeled off his briefs. He leaned back down and her legs wrapped around him and she pulled him much closer until she felt him nudge her near where she desperately needed him.

“I love you,” he whispered and after months apart they met again.

Aelin was sitting against the head of the bed and Rowan’s head was in her lap while her fingers played gently with his hair “do you know how to ice skate?” She asked him.

“A bit, why?”

“They opened an ice rink down in the main square and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. It’s been a long time since I did it.” He turned on his back and looked up “I’d love to. Want to go tonight?”

Aelin nodded “can we have dinner out as well? Have a proper date?”

“Are you asking me out, captain?” Rowan smiled and stretched his arm to caress her cheek.

“Well, it’s my right as well to woo my boyfriend.”

Rowan smiled and sat back up and went to kiss her “I am yours.”

“What time does your shift starts tomorrow?”

“At ten and it’s my usual 24hrs shift.” She told him.

“We should not stay out too long. You came off another night shift this morning and never slept. I need to tuck you in in bed early.”

“Yes, sir.”

Rowan got off the bed and stood, holding out his hand to her “come on, miss firefighter, let’s get you ice skating.”

Aelin beamed in joy and got off the bed and went to put some clothes on. A polo shirt and her favourite TFD hoodie. Then she moved to the bird toy and got her dog tags from it.

“Make sure you have a nice layer on, it’s getting colder outside.” He pulled a scarf around her neck “forecast says it might snow.”

Aelin groaned “I love winter, but snow always causes so many accidents.” Then she realised what she said “I am sorry, I didn’t mean…”

He stooped to kiss her “it’s okay. I am fine.”

She smiled back at him, “let’s go skating, captain.”

Hand in hand they walked to the main square enjoying the chill air and the winter feeling.

“Look,” said Aelin once they reached the square “They have street vendors.”

“I thought you wanted to go out for dinner.”

She turned around and walked backward facing him “but this is winter fair food. It’s so good.”

“Come,” Rowan grabbed her hand “I’ll buy you dinner.” They walked to one of the stall “what do you want?”

“A nice juicy burger.” She smelled the food around her “and a couple of skewers as well.”

Rowan bought the food for her and himself and they sat down on a bench munching away happily.

In front of her the ice rink was surrounded by people being happy and having fun. Then a little blonde girl with pig tails ran to her “hello, gorgeous.” Aelin picked up the girl “where are your parents?” The little girl pointed in a random place. Rowan ruffled her hair and the girl giggled happily.

Then all of a sudden “Lynne.” And a woman hurried towards them “momma.” The little girl screamed at recognising the woman. Aelin passed the child to her mother “thank you,” said the woman hugging her daughter.

“She was adorable,” said Aelin leaning her head against Rowan’s shoulder. He kissed her head “she really was.”

Rowan eventually stood and took Aelin’s hand “Ice skating?”

Aelin joined him and together they went to the rental place and got their skates and changed into them.

Aelin took tentative steps to the entrance of the rink while Rowan had his hand on her lower back.

While Rowan went for the cautionary approach and moved some baby steps on the ice, Aelin was being her usual carefree self and jumped straight in the fray “Come on, buzzard, it’s easy.”

By the time she completed a few laps around the rink, Rowan was still holding to the edge for dear life. She slid to him and took his hands “come with me.” She took his hands and placed them on her sides “easy… follow me.” Slowly he got more confident and they managed to skate hand in hand.

The hour on the the ice was up and they were sitting on a bench again when when Lys texted her that she and Aedion were meeting Elide and Lorcan and have dinner together and invited them as well.

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to see Lorcan out of work.” But his smile turned wicked “Oh no, I need to see smitten Lorcan.”

Aelin leaned forward and kissed him “but no jokes in front of Elide.”

“Don’t worry I’ll just gather enough material to take the mickey out of him when we are alone.”

Gently she patted his arms “you really are evil.”

He nodded proudly “no news there. You should know by now.”

The other two couples arrived not long after and Rowan laughed at seeing Lorcan with his arm around Elide’s shoulders. The scene was almost ridiculous given how tall was the man compared to the woman.

“Aren’t they cute?” Whispered Aelin, grabbing his hand and walking toward the couple.

“Hi guys,” said a very happy Elide, waving her hand at Rowan and Aelin.

“Hi, darling.” Aelin hugged her friend and then looked up at the man at her side “evening, commodore.”

“I am just Lorcan tonight.”

Rowan snorted loudly “sure, Lor,”

“Lys and Aedion are on their way.” Added Aelin.

“Did you go ice skating?” Asked Rowan to his boss.

Elide laughed “I tried to convince him but he laughed at me.”

“Oh it would have been amazing to see the drunken giraffe.” commented Rowan with a wicked grin and Lorcan growled back at him “Whitethorn…”

“What’s the drunken giraffe?” Aelin smiled, ready for some snooping.

“Don’t you dare…”

And now the whole group was even more interested.

“So,” started Rowan with an evil grin “Lor was my captain and I was just a lieutenant. We had a team evening here in Orynth and it was winter. The ice skating rink was out. We had a few girls we wanted to impress, so we took them out.” He narrated, while Lorcan glared at him “Lorcan tried to skate but he is stupidly tall and well…” Rowan moved his arms with a jerky motion “it was hilarious.” He continued “his girl called him a drunken giraffe.”

Everyone burst out laughing and for a moment that story threw a funnier light on the man who seemed to be made of ice.

“Fine, fine Rowan you had your fun.”

Elide gave him a pat on his shoulder and in that instant Lysandra and Aedion joined them.

“We are here. Sorry we are late, parking was a pain.”

Aelin jumped all excited “we can finally have dinner.”

“You haven’t stopped eating since we arrived.” And Rowan pulled Aelin to his chest and kissed her temple “I love my bottomless pit.”

“Ow, you two are so cute it’s disgusting.” Joked Lysandra wrapping her arm around Aedion’s midriff.

“Come on let’s go to dinner before Aelin turns hangry.” Elide took Lorcan’s hand and dragged him away and the rest followed.

Once at the restaurants they got a table for six and sat down. Aelin grabbed the menu and started perusing “this place seems amazing.”

“I think we need a nice bottle of wine to celebrate that you two boys are finally back.” Suggested Elide who, all of a sudden, was confident and seemed to have lost all of her shyness.

The waiter came and took their order and as usual Aelin shocked the poor youngster with her gigantic order.

“Captain, are you sure you can afford feeding her?” Joked Aedion.

Rowan shrugged and smiled at Aelin “the bank doesn’t offer mortgages for feeding your girlfriend, apparently.”

The rest of the group laughed.

Then the wine arrived and they toasted and Aelin looked around at the table and smiled at the scene. Of being with her friends and Rowan. She placed her hand on his and gave him a big smile. She kept repeating to herself that he was back and he was real.

Lorcan took a sip of his wine “this feels nice,” and a weak smile painted his lips “after six months of bad food and no treats, this feels like bliss.”

“I didn’t pin you for a wine lover, commodore.” Said Aelin sipping her wine and agreeing with the man. It was a nice one he had got.

The man shrugged “we are posh boys, of course we like wine.” He gave her a half smile.

Aedion snorted “that’s all you can handle.”

“Ok,” almost shouted Lysandra “this is a dinner to have some fun together, not a pissing contest to see who is better between the army and the airforce. Now you three behave.” She pointed her finger at them and Aelin hid her smile behind her hand.

“So,” started Rowan trying to change the topic “any new plans for the wedding?”

Aedion nodded “we have a temporary date in January. We just need to find a venue and few other bits and bobs. And hope for no interruptions this time.”

“At least this time my girls will have their real partner at their side.” She looked at the two men “I am waiting for you two to melt when you see in their dress.

“Oh, believe me they did the first time around too.”

Rowan nodded remembering Aelin in her dress. Yeah the shower had been quite longer than his usual “Both Lorcan and I remember the dresses.” Admitted Rowan trying to sound as casual as possible.

Lorcan looked away almost embarrassed by the admission but Elide gently pinched his side “admit it, you loved it.”

“I did.” He said quietly.

“So captain,” began Lysandra while sipping more wine “are you going to teach our Aelin to cook?”

Rowan chuckled “I can try but I have a feeling it’s a suicide mission. As a soldier I can see when it’s time to push back and retreat.” He brushed his hand on her head softly “but it’s fine I love cooking.”

Aelin was about to reply but their food arrived and her focus disappeared on the plates placed in front of her.

“Sometimes I think she would find me more interesting if I dressed up as a giant hamburger.” She stuck out het tongue out at him and he flicked her nose. After six months away from her he was desperate for some contact. He would have loved to go home and partake in more interesting activities, but the idea of having dinner with the other two couples had been quite pleasant. And Aelin did not seem displeased by his extreme need for PDA.

“So, Lorcan, are you coming to the station one day to see Elide in action?” Suggested Aelin with a grin and Elide almost glared at her nervously.

The man lowered his fork and looked at her “I think I might.” Replied the man eagerly “I must admit, I am quite fascinated.”

“We can also give you a proper tour of the firehouse. The official one.”

“I think we can take them on the trucks, one each” suggested Aedion “I am happy to take the commodore. But you guys need to stay inside the truck.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Hey, I have seen you fly, it’s only fair.”

“You seen him fly?” Elide’s face turned to Lorcan “Can I see you fly?”

“I am sure the commodore and I can give you a lovely display of how I kick his arse.” And Rowan grinned wickedly at his boss.

“Please, please.” Singsonged Elide, taking his hand.

Lorcan nodded “let me know of a day off and we can get it organised.”

“Yes!” Shouted Elide all excited.

“Actually…” continued Lorcan “we sometimes give tour of some ares of the base. I might be able to get permission to invite the whole station for a tour and with the excuse of a drill we can give you a show.” He explained “I think we owe it to the TFD for the help they gave us.”

Rowan stared at Lorcan in disbelief. He knew everyone joked but Elide really was doing the miracle on him. He had never seen his CO so relaxed and willing to offer a tour of the base. Usually he would shove that kind of stuff to him. Rowan gave a big smile to Elide and a silent thank you. Lorcan actually seemed happy.

“I am sure the guys would love it.” Then Aelin turned to Aedion “are you willing to come for one day at posh house?”

“I guess I can do that.” And he smiled.

Lorcan nodded “Rowan, liaise with the captain and choose a suitable day.”

Rowan squeezed her hand under the table.

“Ok good, Rowan is coming to the station tomorrow morning. You can join us around nine.”

“Am I?” But Aelin looked at him puzzled.

“Yes, unless you have other plans.”

“Uhhm I was planning on going kitchen household shopping but I assume I can do grampa stuff another day.”

Aelin patted his head “good, grampa. Come and have some fun.”

Lorcan nodded “9 am sounds perfect. I must admit I am looking forward to this.”

“And coming from Lorcan this is the best compliment ever.” Joked Rowan.

“This is going to be much more fun than you guys running drills with us.” Explained Aedion who for once did not seem to have any problems with the airforce.

The group finished their meal and Aelin was the only one who actually went for dessert and everyone took the mickey out of her.

“Of course she gets the cake.” Elide rolled her eyes “how is it that you are not the size of a zeppelin I do not know.”

“Uh, I love you too.” Added Aelin while munching her cake away.

After the meal the group said their goodbyes Aelin and Rowan walked home, taking a detour through the park, hand in hand.

“I had a lovely evening.” Said Rowan pulling their twinned hand to his mouth and depositing a gentle kiss.

“I can’t believe Lorcan. He is so different.”

“I will be forever grateful to Elide. He is like another man.” He explained “I have known Lorcan for a very long time and I have never seen him so happy.”

Aelin almost skipped happily “are you looking forward to tomorrow?”

“Very much. I really want to see you in action.” He gently pinched her butt and Aelin squealed “you and your sexy jacket.”

“It’s called turnout or bunker gear.” She said to him leaning forward for a kiss “not as hot as your jumpsuit…” She swayed her hips in front of him.

He took a couple of steps and folded his arms around her waist and turned her around “you look hot even covered in grime.”

Aelin chuckled “you never saw me coming out of a house collapse after slithering through the debris and come out with my clothes white, my hair grey ad my face verging on black.”

His hand caressed her sides “Imagine the long shower…” his lips brushing hers gently.

“We are in a park, captain.” Her arms sneaked around his neck.

“I am just reminiscing our first kiss.” And slowly pinned her to a tree.

Aelin leaned forward and kissed him first “I’d throw my shoes at you but they are trainers and would hurt. It’s a shame I don’t have my flats on.”

“My menace…” he whispered, their mouths sharing a breath. “I should take you home. You have work tomorrow.” And pulled back from her, grabbing then her hand and resuming walking.

“You fuss too much.”

Rowan rolled his eyes and smiled “let’s just say it’s in the job description for boyfriend.”

“What else does it entail?”

He took a long pause staring toward the pond “make you happy, mostly.”

Aelin stopped him and turned him to her “you do. Make me happy, I mean.” Rowan stooped and kissed her hard “home, now. It’s getting near your bed time.”

“Sexy bed time?”

“No, young lady, we are going home and tuck you in bed and no shenanigans allowed.”

“You are no fun,” she complained walking away from him pretending to be mad.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her back “You came off shift this morning and I got home this morning. We both need rest.”

Her smile turned wicked “I might go and find myself a younger model. I wonder if Fenrys is interested in a sexy firefighter.”

A second later Aelin found herself pinned again against a tree and his lips on hers, the kiss demanding and almost possessive.

When Rowan pulled back they were both breathless, his forehead leaned on hers “don’t even joke about it.”

“Jealous much?”

“You are my girl.” He whispered against her lips and the tone he used made her heart melt.

“Said that again.”

“You,” his lips travelled along her neck “are,” a gentle nip of his teeth “my girl.” And a searing kiss.

How was it possible that the man in front of her could stir such deep passion and desire in her? Something so strong she had never felt before with anyone. It felt like an all consuming fire. She just hoped it would stay like that forever. She felt his hand sneak under her hoodie and touch skin and groaned into the kiss “let’s go home, captain. We are in a park and both about to lose it.”

He nodded silently and started walking home as quick as they could.

As soon as they were through the door to the house, Rowan lifted her in his arms, kicked the door shut with his foot and walked to the bedroom.

“I thought you said no shenanigans.”

“Fuck it.” He let her slid down and a second later his hand had started peeling off her clothes and she did the same.

“Show me what you got.” A second later she was airborne in his arm and then in bed. His strong body hovering over her. His pine green eyes trained on her and she could see the desire in them.

When he kissed her again her toes curled and heat began pooling at her core.

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips. It was all he needed and a moment later his name was on her lips begging him for more over and over again.

TAGS:

@rowaelinismyotp @swankii-art-teacher @courtofjurdan

@whimsicallyreading @tillyrubes10 @surielandiareendgame

@aelin-bitch-queen @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity @acreativelydifferentlove

@mis-lil-red @thegreyj

#rowaelin #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan whitethorn #rowan x aelin #aelin galathynius #elide x lorcan #aedion x lysandra

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prurientpuddlejumper · 3 years ago

Text

Cozy Sweaters

Jackson Neill x Reader

Sequel to Cold Hands, requested by @detectivebarba & written for @storiesofsvu’s Fall Bingo!

Warnings: Angst. Angst. Angst. Fluff?

Summary: Oh my god they were roommates.

3,350 words

September 8th

The living room of your apartment—what used to be your apartment—was abuzz with heated voices.

“We’re sorry, but you said you were moving out!”

“So you just gave away my room?! I’m allowed to change my mind!”

Your roommates glanced between each other, awkwardness thick in the air.

“Ed is moving here all the way from England on the promise that he would have a room. He already bought his plane ticket. We’d really be screwing him over.”

“But… where am I supposed to go?”

Jenny sighed and shook her head. “Listen, if this wasn’t so last-minute, I’d understand, but you were supposed to move in with your boyfriend next week. We already made plans to fill your spot…” She really was sorry, in other words, but you were stuck.

“Can’t you still move in with him?” Todd added, and Jenny shot daggers from her eyes.

“He cheated on me!”

“Yeah, but you said he didn’t want to break up, right? Just work things out.”

“I am not,” you hissed through gritted teeth, “ever taking him back after what he did.”

September 13th

Every one-bedroom apartment listing in the greater NYC area was out of your price range. You tapped your friend group, colleagues, and acquaintances for roommates and came back empty. You went on Craig’s List and met with a few strangers seeking roommates. The ones who weren’t terrifying never called you back.

Meanwhile, Jackson Neill had been blowing up your phone.

Well, not blowing up—the first night he got drunk and filled your inbox begging you to come back, sobbing and slurring into your voicemail, spamming indecipherable text messages. The next morning, a single text read: “I’m sorry. That was inappropriate, and it won’t happen again.”

And it didn’t.

But he sent another message a few days later telling you he’d found some more of your stuff, if you’d like it back. That you were always welcome to talk if you wanted to. He wanted to be there for you. You didn’t message him back.

September 14th

It was a cold, rainy day on campus, so you risked taking a shortcut to the dining hall. You turned the corner of an old brick building, and there he was, walking out of the Department of Religious Studies, jacket collar pulled up over his neck because the forgetful fool could never remember his umbrella.

He froze at the same time you did.

All you could hear was your pulse drumming inside your skull like rain. You knew you’d run into him eventually, but you hadn’t decided how to react, and your body wasn’t offering any suggestions.

He gave you a pitiful smile and lifted his hand. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

One leaden foot shuffled in front of the other, and you kept walking. He nodded with a wan smile and sad eyes and didn’t chase you.

The outdoor seating was closed because of the weather, so the dining hall was crowded and buzzing. You snatched a small two-seat table just as another student left, brushing a stale French fry off it onto the floor. Sinking down to enjoy your cheap sandwich, you glanced around the crowd.

A middle-aged man with a soggy jacket and salt-and-pepper hair, who had no right to be so breathtakingly handsome, was searching desperately for a seat while precariously balancing a tray of soup and coffee.

He felt your gaze on him, and you were fixed with a beam of frozen green eyes.

You waved him over.

“I wasn’t following you, I swear.”

“I don’t know, eating lunch? At lunchtime? That can’t be a coincidence.”

The corner of his lip wanted to smile, but he didn’t seem entirely sure you were joking.

“Just sit down and eat,” you sighed. “There’s nowhere else.”

He sat.

Silence crackled between you like the sky before a thunderstorm as you ate your lunches.

“So,” Jackson started cautiously, “how have you been?”

You gave a dry snort. “Oh, just fucking peachy. I’m going to be homeless in two days, thanks to you.”

“What?!”

Jackson listened with a deepening frown as you told him about your roommate plight. Then he offered you a room at his house.

“Go to hell. I’m not going to move in with you like nothing ever happened!”

“No, it wouldn’t be like that. I have a spare bedroom. It’s a big house, and I could use help with the bills. Please—it’s the least I can do. Just until you get back on your feet.”

September 17th

It wasn’t like you had much choice.

You moved into Jackson’s house as originally planned, albeit under different circumstances. Instead of sharing his bed, he cleared out the spare room he’d been using, in theory, as a “gym,” and in practice as a storage closet. There was plenty of space, and with how late he always worked at the university, you’d barely see him anyway.

This might just work out.

September 20th

This was never going to work.

Your heart broke all over again every morning you walked downstairs and saw Jackson in the kitchen making pancakes, because every time, you had to fight the urge to come up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist like you used to do.

God, you wanted him back. If only you could erase the image of him with her from your mind.

October 7th

Jackson begged you to take him back.

One thing after another had gone wrong after he publicly confronted the Meyerist Movement. The cult pressured the publisher to pull his book. The university put him on leave while they investigated his alleged relationship with a student. You wandered into the living room that night and found him curled up on the couch, and his resolve broke.

There were tears in his eyes as he tried to pull you into a hug, and when you jerked away, they cascaded down his cheeks. He kept saying he was sorry over and over.

“Please. I need you. Everything is falling apart—if I could at least have you to hold onto… just one thing that wasn’t broken. Please, just tell me how to make it up to you. Haven’t I done enough? If I could take it all back, I would. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me? Please let me hold you?”

This was hard for you, too. Part of you wanted to give in, tell him it was all OK, let him kiss you, and see him smile. The worst part of all of this was that you still loved him, but you could never trust him again. He put on such a sweet, innocent act—he was a wonderful boyfriend—but now you knew he was a manipulative liar.

You should never have moved in.

“There’s no undoing the past. We both need to move forward, not back. I’m going to start looking for other places to live.”

October 8th

Morning brought a more sober Jackson knocking at your door. Dark circles hung under his eyes, but he hadn’t been crying recently.

“Please don’t feel like you have to leave. I can get my shit together. I’m calling a therapist today.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Yeah.” He stared at his feet, shifting on the hardwood floor.

“Jackson… I’ll only hurt you if I stay. This is too hard on you.” For us. “Besides, I can’t freeload here forever.”

“You do pay rent, you know.”

“I know, but—”

“I only have the kids every other weekend, and it’s a big house. It gets lonely. You’re doing me a favor being here.”

November 10th

In the last month, Jackson convinced you there was no hurry to move out.

He was a great roommate. He cooked, cleaned, respected your boundaries. He was a truly decent man, if an unfaithful lover, but since you were just friends now, it didn’t matter who he fucked. The biggest concern was that he wanted you back, and living together was a constant source of emotional pain. But on that front, he finally seemed to be moving on.

Whenever the topic came up, he assured you that you were welcome to stay as long as you wanted.

“It’s just so hard to find a decent place in my price range.”

“I mean it,” Jackson reiterated, adding emphasis. “If you want to stay, I enjoy having a roommate.”

You searched for hidden motives in his voice, his expression. Was this part of a long game to get you back? But his tone was friendly and open. Knowing how quickly he jumped from his ex-wife to you to Sarah, there was no way he didn’t already have his eye on someone new. At this point, you were just roommates.

“You mean permanently? Isn’t living with an ex a recipe for disaster?”

He chuckled. “The last few years with my wife were much worse than this, trust me. We were trying to stay together until the kids went to college, but emotionally, we were already divorced. It was awful… sharing a room. Constant fighting.” His eyes took a dull, faraway look as he remembered.

Worry lines creased your brow. “Are you sure you want to put yourself through that again?”

He grinned, snapping out of it, and patted you on the head like you were one of his kids. “You are nothing like her. We’re friends.”

You liked the sound of that. Friends.

November 14th

The sound of screams greeted you as you opened the front door and hung your keys on their hook next to your jacket. Jackson was watching a scary movie marathon in the living room, apropos of the foggy autumn weather.

“Candyman. Care to join?” He patted the cushion beside him.

You stayed up past midnight in your pajamas, sharing popcorn, laughing, and hiding your eyes from the gory parts. Jackson remained on the opposite side of the couch, careful not to touch you.

November 19th

You caught Jackson having lunch with an attractive student. It made your blood freeze, then boil when he walked with her back to his office.

Alone.

Fists clenched, you pressed your ear to the closed door, and heard… an essay on the role of religion in perpetuating homophobia. He was helping her edit a paper. Like professors do.

You followed them all the way from the dining hall just for talking.

When did you become a crazy ex? Why would you care if he was schtupping a hot student? You wanted him to move on—you were glad he didn’t tear up every time you walked into the kitchen anymore. But you knew then that you weren’t over him yet.

If you saw him out with someone new, it would sting like he was betraying you all over again. So you tried hard to be the one to move on first.

November 30th

A car honked outside.

“Oh, that’s my date,” you apologized to Jackson. “Gotta go.”

You got a little rush of schadenfreude from the kicked-puppy look that flashed across his face as you left him mid-conversation, sitting at the kitchen table across from your abandoned teacup. It felt like a big fuck-you, letting him know you’d be fucking someone else. A dare: let’s see if you really meant it when you said we could be friends.

But the look had barely contorted his features when he swallowed it down and smiled, “Be safe.”

He was probably going on plenty of dates himself and just didn’t tell you out of consideration for your feelings. He didn’t want you to feel used, betrayed, and immediately replaced. You were both moving on.

After a string of Tinder hookups, you felt like Jackson was out of your system, romantically speaking.

December 17th

A light dusting of snow floated down through the pale morning air. Jackson woke up on the left side of the bed, as he did every morning, and as he did every morning, turned to his right hoping to find you there. The blankets were cold.

He shivered.

You had a date last night and didn’t come home. He waited up, but never heard your car in the driveway, your keys in the door. Since you weren’t there to see his red eyes, he allowed himself to cry.

February 14th

A dull, rhythmic thumping carried through the walls. The creaking of a mattress. You cried out a name, voice cracking as you came for the second time.

It was the same guy again.

Casual hookups he could handle, but it had been the same guy for weeks now. Jackson told himself he deserved this. This was what he did to you, only while you were together. When you trusted him not to. He deserved to hear the one he loved being taken by another man.

As much as he wanted you to be his, you weren’t. He had no right to feel burning bile rising in his stomach at each of your moans and gasps. You were doing nothing wrong.

“You live here. Of course you can have dates over. No, it’s not awkward. We’re friends.”

A hot tear slid from his eye as he buried his head in a pillow.

This guy better take care of you.

May 1st

He didn’t have a roommate anymore. Not really. You spent all your time at Rodney’s apartment.

Soon you would move out, and he’ll have lost you forever.

He wanted to warn you not to move so fast, but what right did he have to judge? He let you move at the same pace with him. Let you trust him, fall in love with him, have a spare toothbrush on his sink within a few months. All the while, he figured a little action on the side wouldn’t hurt. Did he think he could chase two of you at once and get to keep the winner?

Idiot.

Sinner. That’s what his mami would say.

The few times you were home, he didn’t express his concerns about your boyfriend. He would only sound jealous, and it would push you away. If he wanted to be someone you would still answer the phone for when you moved out, he had to be a good friend, not a jealous ex.

Fuck. He hoped it worked out between you and Rodney. He really did. He hoped you were happy.

October 2nd

You came home for the first time in weeks crying. Heavy tears rolled down your face, legs shaking as you crawled up the stairs to your bedroom. Jackson was off the couch in an instant, spring up to follow you.

“Hey… Hey, what’s wrong?” He gingerly touched your shoulder, palm spreading out to make comforting circles when you didn’t shake him off. “Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, sniffing as you slumped down onto your bed. Jackson sat beside you, worry etched into his features. He was so cute. After all this time, he still cared about you. You thought about all the times he’d begged for you back, in the beginning, desperate to hold you again. Fuck, you just wanted to feel that wanted again.

“Rodney and I broke up,” you mumbled.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear th—”

You gripped the hair at the back of his head and tugged him roughly into a kiss. Every muscle in his neck and shoulders tensed. A surprised noise was muted between your crushing lips. You could have sworn, for a moment, he started kissing you back, but then his big hands clamped like two vices on your shoulders, and he pushed you away.

“What are you doing?” His eyes were wide.

“What does it look like?” you purred, fingers clawing at the buttons of his cardigan. “I want you to take me, Jackson.”

His hands stopped you from leaning close again. “No. Stop it.”

“Come on, this is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“We can’t… I won’t take advantage of you like that. You’re just upset, and—”

“Fuck you! So you’ll fuck anyone and not give a shit—you’ll fuck around on me and break my heart, but you won’t fuck me when I’m asking you to?! The one time I just need you to be there, and now you’re on your high fucking horse, pretending to be a good guy?! I bet you’d screw Sarah! Fuck you. Fuck you!”

Your shoulders shook as your tirade broke down more and more into sobs. Deep down, you knew he was right. You’d regret it in the morning. But you couldn’t he just… want you?

“Why? Why not? Am I that… am I that unlovable?”

“Because you crying.” Tears were shimmering in his eyes as he said it, softly wiping a tear from your cheek. “You’re crying.”

With a gasp, you threw yourself down on the bed and buried your face in a pillow. You screamed into it, your own breath hot and wet against your face. Jackson’s weight shifted the mattress beside you, and your hand shot out in panic, blindly groping toward the movement. You felt pathetic. Needy. But you didn’t want to be alone.

“Don’t go.”

The mattress sank back down under him. “I’m not going anywhere. I won’t take advantage of you, but if you want me to stay, I’ll stay. As long as you want.”

That was all you wanted to hear in that moment, to know someone wouldn’t abandon you. His warm hand rubbed your back in slow circles as you wept, patiently listening as you told him everything in disjointed, broken pieces. How you were just being paranoid—invading Rodney’s privacy when he left his phone unlocked. You were paranoid because your last boyfriend cheated. Then you found the lewd messages, and it didn’t seem real. Plans to meet at a bar downtown. You didn’t believe it until he was toweling off, telling you something came up with his mom, and he’d be out for a while. And you followed him down to the bar and saw them together.

“He was an asshole,” Jackson said.

“Am I doomed? Cursed? Why does everyone cheat on me? Is it my fault?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Shut up! You did it, too,” you snapped. “I’m just not special enough to hold anyone’s attention. I’ll never be enough.”

“No,” he growled with a ferocity that startled you, “You’re wonderful, and anyone would be lucky to have you. That guy was an asshole, and so was I for taking you for granted. You did nothing to deserve this. One day you’ll find someone who appreciates you… who learns to treat you the way you deserve to be treated before they lose the best thing to ever happen to them.”

You shifted to press yourself closer to him. The tears didn’t stop, but a warmth spread through your chest. Jackson felt like a cozy sweater—warm and familiar. Easy to cry into. His arms were surprisingly solid and thick, but gentle when they closed around you.

He was a comfortable old sweater you could slip back on after leaving it in the closet for a year.

***

Hours passed by, and you had no more tears left. No energy left to move. Jackson was still beside you, keeping watch, as promised. You were curled up with your head in his lap, his fingers in your hair.

When he was sure you were asleep, he carefully extracted himself from under you, gradually shifting your head onto the pillow so you wouldn’t wake up. He breathed, heart aching as he looked down at your sleeping form. You deserved better than tear-stained cheeks. He knew he had no right to be so angry, but he couldn’t stand seeing you hurt again.

You wouldn’t have been if he had just…

He let his tears fall silently. This was about you, and he didn’t want to make you console him, but you were asleep now. He could let go.

He ran his fingers through your hair one last time. Then, with a furtive glance, he bent and pressed a tender kiss to your forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I never stopped.”

• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •

Tags: @beccabarba / @itsjustmyfantasyroom / @thatesqcrush / @dianilaws / @permanentlydizzy / @mrsrafaelbarba / @madamsnape921 / @astrangegirlsmind / @neely1177 / @onerestein / @dreamlover31 / @isvvc-pvscvl / @shroomiehomie / @storiesofsvu / @welcometothemxdhouse / @feedthemadness-sweetie / @law-nerd105 / @amelia-song-pond / @michael-rooker / @xecq / @madpanda75 / @alwaysachorusgirl / @bananas-pajamas / @leanor-min / @mad-girl-without-a-box / @katierpblogg / @worldofvixen / @sassyada / @detectivebarba

#Jackson Neill #jackson neill x reader #my writing

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hellothisissade · 3 years ago

Text

some squid game thoughts

as someone who is an avid kdrama watcher and absolutely loves the whole ppl with money making the lessers die for sport---i found squid game mid-tier af.

maybe i would feel differently if i hadn’t watched alice in borderland first, but whatever:

1. the series starts off amazing, we meet gihun who for all intents and purposes is a shit bag with a gambling addiction whose consistently poor choices keep catching up with him.

2. i guess he loves his daughter tho

3. i think it’s weird af that despite gihun’s obvious gambling addiction and incompetence as a father, his wife is low key framed as a heartless bitch for leaving him

4. GONG YOO’S CAMEO OMG the way this man can wear a fucking suit I SWEAR. he’s utterly captivating on screen, i literally couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

5. i really loved the very first game we see gihun play as a sort of hazing into the squid game arena. it’s very telling of his state of mind how quick he was to keep playing (completely mindlessly) and how quickly he forgot about the cash reward (more focused on getting revenge). it was a GREAT scene

6. the loading, drugging, track suit distribution and red light, green light game was all dope af. really loved the use of color between the contestants, guards, and the setting. from the stark almost asylum-like nature of their “dorm room” to the candy colored and maze-like quality of the setting itself.

7. the red light, green light game was hella iconic, i honestly dont think any other game comes close in comparison for me tho if i HAD to choose it would be tug of war. the little tightrope number that comes later was fun too.

8. at first i thought it was odd af that they were allowed to go home but it made for an interesting break to allow us to see just how desperate someone must be to enter the arena again

9. i’m sorry but i think it’s wild af how we’re lead to believe that gihun is entering the arena (again!) to save his mother when he literally leaves her for dead LOL. the reason why she wasn’t able to get medical attention is bc he kept gambling her money away. and instead of humbling himself to actually accept the money he asked his ex for on behalf of his mother, he lets his “pride” get in the way. pride in what, i can hardly imagine.

9. the gangster guy and the woman clearly there to be the residential psycho got annoying af to me REAL FAST. so incredibly one note, it was so obvious where their story was heading i rolled my eyes so hard during their sex scene. the only valid outcome would be if she slit his throat in the bathroom so i woudn’t have to suffer through that tired ass kdrama gangster archetype but ALAS that was not to be the case

10. it’s so weird how in one scene the guards dont condone fighting but in the next, just to allow the gangster guy free reign to randomly beat the shit out of ppl for profit. i feel like i need to re-watch to be sure but i swear the guards step in to breakup a fight prior so i was super confused but maybe i’m remembering it wrong.

11. HOW COULD I FORGET ALI?? i was pleasantly surprised to see migrant working representation in this show at all. and honestly ali is great. i will say tho there is a difference between being naive and being dumb and it seemed ali toed the line a little to often depending on how the writers needed him to be in order to further the plot

12. i DID NOT like how the random “crazy” woman went on a xenophobic rant against ali AND NOT A SINGLE PERSON STOOD UP FOR HIM despite the fact that he’d literally saved their lives multiple times by that point. i think it’s one thing to have a xenophobic character, a whole other thing to have the narrative SUPPORT said xenophobia through the silence of those that witness this behavior

13. same also goes for sang woo’s extremely sexist rant prior to the tug of war game. i thought FOR SURE the narrative was going to check him (like he really did take it too far) but NOOOOOOO the narrative doubles down on it by making it a game of brute strength. while in the end it was strategy that helps them win, the female characters still remain largely invisible in this game having been labeled “useless” by their male counterparts. all the clutch moments come from ali, the old man, sang woo, and gihun.

14. it’s weird in general the lack of female characters and the mediocre writing they all receive but i was really excited by seobyeok. she seems like a lead, especially given the fact that she’s the only female character we get any real backstory on. but for the most part she’s a background character. present when the plot needs her, rarely contributing to strategy. VERY resourceful (yay!!) but the second she’s no longer needed she gets randomly injured and unceremoniously murdered just to further the rage (and plot!) of her male counterparts. yikes!

15. omg i love the organ selling side plot LOL. i’m sad it ended as soon as it did. made me wish we got more perspectives from the guards given how many of them there were.

16. how did the cop dude not die? he was so sloppy with his investigation after a while it was silly they couldnt catch him despite the eleventy million cameras in the facility. i also low key didn’t care about his story once the organ selling plot ended. i completely forgot he was looking for his brother LOL

17. i hated the marble game wow. with the fire of 1000 suns wow. i think this was the episode where squid game lost me a little. the plot armor around the gangster guy was ridiculous, he should’ve met his hubris in that game instead of subjecting us to more of his predictable ass behavior.

18. seobyeok’s scene was the only one worth my heart in the marble game. i’m sad they literally brought the other girl in for one game just to die in the next, she was so great i would’ve love to see seobyeok develop a stronger friendship with her even if she died later. sheesh! 456 contestants and only 3 women with speaking lines??? ridiculous.

18. and idc what anybody says, sang woo’s “plan” in the marble game was such an obvious lie. it literally made no fucking sense. ali “falling” for it made him look stupid af and i’m mad he went out being made a fool of like that. i’d forgive it more if sang woo’s “plan” was even remotely believable. like damn, fool me too! but ali just ends up looking like an idiot, running around like a chicken with its head cut off as if all common sense left him when you can CLEARLY SEE IN EACH PAIR THAT ONE PERSON IS CONSISTENTLY DYING. like come tf on!

16. the moment the VIP’s open their mouths to speak is when squid game goes from intense to straight up camp. it’s just silly and incredibly difficult for me to take the games seriously from that point on. the dialogue and acting is just awful.

17. this show had ZERO queer representation until they needed one of the VIPs to be predatory LMAO. like wow, talk about poor fucking taste

18. the actor who plays the cop is just BAD lololol. like what in the 2 facial expressions nonsense?? shoulda kept the mask on

19. the tight rope game was cool but dragged on a little too long for me. i think it’s bc the VIPs fucking suck LOL. i was REALLY looking for gangster dude to finally be revealed as a spineless fuck but NOOOOOO more bullying and intimidation. honestly so pathetic.

20. gangster dude deserved to die due to his own failures IMO but NOOOOOO. i swear the “crazy” woman lasted as long as she did just so she could say his dick was small and some rando VIP could utter “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. i’m sorry i rolled my eyes so hard at that scene, doesn’t she have a newborn baby?? LOLOLOL like what a pathetic way to die, sorry.

21. FRONTMAN IS LEE BYUNG HYUN??? LMAOOOOO!!! i mean what in the cameo?? it was impossible for me to see him as frontman after that “luke i am your father” moment. and the irony of byung hyun playing role is just extra rich given that he was literally blackmailed in a similar squid game story IRL. and where is she now? and where is he now? hmmmmm

22. and again i have to express my rage. seobyeok randomly getting injured by the blown up glass (literally WHY??) just to struggle eat and bleed out LMAO. and then be “mercy killed” by sang woo’s stank ass JUST to give gihun the motivation he’d need to kill sang woo?? fucking foul. the ONLY COMPETENT FEMALE CHARACTER and they couldn’t even do her the dignity of going out through a game. they literally kill her to further the plot of her male counterparts. awful

23. i mean by the time the final game comes, ngl squid game completely lost me as an audience. i just didn’t care anymore. and like who am i supposed to be rooting for anyway? the asshole sang woo who's in debt bc of a blue collar crime? or the asshole gihun who’s in debut due to a gambling addiction that literally left his own mother unable to financially take care of her sickness?

24. HOW exactly are either of them suffering at the hands of capitalism again?

25. i was so happy when the fight ended and gihun was finally ended up the victor, not bc i wanted him to win i was just tired of the psuedo-moralism he randomly developed at the very end. like give this man his money and wrap this shit up.

26. j/k he comes back home to a mother he left to die and then wallows in misery for a year even tho he promised sang woo and seobyeok (also why ali’s wife and child wasn’t important enough to include on this list is very telling but whatever) that he’d take care of their families, he becomes a drunk instead.

27. like i WANT to feel sorry for gihun bc trauma but i literally do not care. like the ONE TIME he should actually be putting others before himself and he STILL can’t do it

28. oh but look a squid game card! THAT’s what spurns him to action. not atoning for the lives lost but the concept of getting revenge...for a game...that he actively participated in...knowing that they’d kill contestants indiscriminately LOL. like i literally cant. i get why he’s angry but here he is with a second shot at life and it’s like the only change in his character is MORE TRAUMA™

29. i feel bad for seobyeok’s little brother most of all. sitting there thinking his sister abandoned him FOR A YEAR poor thing

30. i felt the scene with the old man was unnecessary and went on for too long. but then again at that point i’d lost complete interest in the show so LOL

31. i mean honestly gihun gambling AGAIN with someone’s life just to prove the old man wrong LOL. i thought he felt guilty? i thought he was traumatized? why do the writers keep trying to frame him as heroic when he’ll throw everything away to gamble EVERY. TIME.?????

32. so one midlife crises dye job later and gihun is so desperate to not be a father that he enters squid game again. for revenge or whatever LOL

*whew* my goodness, i think i needed to get that out.

like i found squid game wildly entertaining overall but the ending but absolute trash. and i just dont care enough about gihun to want more story from him, he really should’ve gotten on the plane.

i also find it interesting that ppl saw the show as a critique on capitalism when really i felt like it doubled down on it. but maybe that’s just me idk. regardless, i’m happy for the show’s success. better squid game at number one than fucking bridgerton LMAO.

#squid game #wow #it's been so long since i posted my thoughts

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hibiscuswrites · 5 years ago

Text

🌺 Masterlist 🌺

‼️ = possibly triggering content

💦 = contains sexual content, not necessarily smut

Rio

Jealous/possessive Rio

Domestic life

Rio getting a call that his girl was mugged

Significant other was hurt in like a car crash or non-gang related incident

Rio's reaction to his boo strip teasing💦

Rio’s girl being pregnant

Rio meeting and falling in love with a female version of himself

Rio having his girlfriend meet Marcus for the first time

Rio taking care of his newborn baby and wife

Rio taking care of his little girl because mama is sick with the flu

Reader gets taken by a rival gang as leverage ‼️

Rio trying to win over a woman who he really can be himself with

Rio's reaction to you flinching when he breaks something or yells and what he would do to assure you that you were safe with him ‼️

Rio on his wedding day/night 💦

Rio’s girl giving him the silent treatment like after a fight

Reader it is Beth’s sister who is with Rio. She betrays him for her sister and the crew

Rio doing daddy duties/ taking care of Marcus and his new baby

Shower sex 💦

Rio’s reaction to the reader with a complicated relationship getting flirted with

One of Rio’s men steps out of line and makes a move on his SO

Rio hiring a shy nanny who he really likes to tease

Reader is frustrated by how much Rio’s been working and doesn't know how to bring it up. Reader starts acting different and eventually Rio gets her to tell him what's wrong

Rio’s baby girl calling him dada for the first time and giving him a big smile

Rio dating a younger reader

Reader & Rio going to an event where reader gets nervous and starts being overly critical of what she's wearing/how it looks on her ‼️

Rio getting hurt by a rival and his girl reacting & consoling him

You find out Rio slept with Beth and try to leave him but he cuts it off with her

Rio and a girl he is secretly in love with having to share the same bed

Rio finding a hickey on his girl that he’s positive wasn’t from him💦

Rio vs Billy 💦

How Rio would be with someone who put him and Marcus first and kept doing it until she cracked

Rio and the reader spending time with Marcus and admiring the new baby

Rio gives a little degradation after he finds you super wet, even though he hasn't touched you and he over stimulates you💦

Reader is black & someone makes a comment about her weight or her being a poc around him causing him to lash out‼️

Rio’s reaction to another man making you cry

Make-up sex with Rio 💦

How Rio would react and treat a girl he had feelings for but wasn’t yet dating who just got emergency surgery

Rio having an SO with long luscious hair and him washing her hair for her

Rio x reader where her ex shows back up in her life and tries to win her back/turn her against Rio and how Rio reacts to it

Readers boss blatantly flirting with her in front of Rio ‼️

Rio and the reader at their gender reveal or baby shower

Rio getting jealous by his S/O fangirling over a hot actor during their movie night at home

Rio’s normally very bold gf who gets shy with sexual things gets caught touching herself while watching porn 💦

Rio and Marcus picking up the reader (mom/wife) from the airport after a long trip, and they go home and spend quality time together

Rio and the reader having a romantic/sweet date night

Beth attempting to kill Rio’s SO because she’s jealous of her and what Rio would do in response

Beth making it look like Rio is cheating on reader with her. He finds out Beth planned it but reader leaves him & Rio getting revenge

Rio with a girl who went behind his back to help Ruby, Annie, and Beth

First time reader & Rio discuss what he actually does

Rio thinking his SO is cheating but she’s not

Rio taking care of his girl after she gets her wisdom teeth taken out

Rio saving a girl from some drunk trying to mess with her and that’s how they meet !!

Reader trying to leave in the middle of the night for a walk after a fight

Rio finding out his girl is bi and ask of she wants to try it with him and a woman

Rio meeting the reader’s parents

You are Rio's ex/gf/ Marcus' mom/ and find out about Beth's "pregnancy"

Rio fingering his girlfriend 💦

Would ever snoop through his SO’s phone

Rio dating a clumsy girl

Drabble: Gunk kink 💦

How would Rio deal with his S/O being very sensitive and emotional

Rio with a tall reader

Rio taking his SO’s virginity 💦

Rio comforting reader who had PTSD and nightmares !!

Strip Poker with Rio 💦

Making out with Rio would include

Rio accidentally walking in on the girl he loves having sex with another dude

Getting back together with Rio and finding out about Beth’s pregnancy

Honeymoon with Rio

Drabble: Control your anger or you’ll have me to worry about

Working as Rio’s assistant/secretary and having a flirty relationship

Rio being friends with reader who is in a bad relationship and is very neglected by her current bf

Morning sex with Rio 💦

Beth shoots reader instead of Rio and then he thinks she's dead but she came back

Rio with a sub SO who likes to be choked 💦

Rio and Billly share reader

Rio dating dancer reader

Rio taking reader for her first tattoo

Quarentine with Rio

Rio with pregnant reader who doesn’t want to be a mom

Rio with shy trans mtf reader

Rio with reader who doesn’t want kids

!! Rio getting with reader who was in an abusive relationship !!

!! Reader runs into toxic ex and Rio gets protective !!

Rio going to the club with the reader

Reader taking care of and spoiling Rio

Rio with a pregnancy kink 💦

Reader doing the refusing to kiss your boyfriend prank on Rio

Latina reader unknowingly intimidates Beth and end up making her jealous when she finds out you’re together

Rio shaves pregnant reader since she’s so far along that she can’t

Reader wants to post Rio on social media but he’s hesitant

Rough blowjob with Rio💦

Rio’s reaction to someone threatening your life while out together

Being Rio’s new employee who steals his attention away from Beth

Rio with soft and innocent reader

Rio lets reader take control for the night 💦

Cops bring reader in for questioning and he pampers you after you stay solid

Billy Russo

Jealous Billy

Fight and making up with Billy

Billy’s been acting weird so his girl thinks he's cheating. She eventually can't take it anymore & he comes home to find her gone. He tracks her down and proposes

Billy thinking his girl is cheating (She's not of course)

Rio vs Billy 💦

Billy gets reader pregnant in a fwb situation but is smug about it

Billy coming home to find you asleep on the couch surrounded by work

Billy finding out the Reader is pregnant and being delighted and determined to give his child a better life than he had

NSFW Alphabet 💦

Rio and Billly share reader

Billy worries reader will leave him if she learns the truth, but she already knows

Protective Billy with hurt reader

Frank Castle

Reader has a really bad anxiety day and he’s soft with her and quiet‼️

NSFW Alphabet💦

Domestic life

Soft but still angsty “I thought I lost you” with frank after a bad night

Seeing Frank at the diner for a while before finally approaching him

Geralt of Rivia

A kid tries to pay Geralt to kill a monster but the monster turns out to be an abusive parent‼️

Ray Merrimen

Ray’s new girl is coincidentally just in the bank he and his crew are robbing

Reader having a crime boss ex that wants reader back, and 2) finding out what Ray does and her reaction to it

Ray meeting a girl at the gym/dojo that can kick his ass, despite the size difference

Ray being your instructor at the gym would be like

NSFW Alphabet💦

Bratty reader who keeps bothering Ray while he's working on plans for the next hit because she wants attention 💦

Ray expressing how much he cares about you x plus sized reader ‼️

Going on vacation with Ray 💦

Ray’s stripper ex is trying to cause trouble in his new relationship because he moved on from her after he got out of prison

Ray’s reaction to his girl getting into a fight with someone or more like defending herself

Reader is feeling ignored by Ray so she seeks attention elsewhere, but it backfires

Ray’s totally smitten for the shy reader who doesn't think he'd be interested in her

Ray spoiling his girl because he's nervous that he's about to propose

Ray just can't keep his hands to himself when reader is around 💦

Ray’s girl is afraid to tell him she's pregnant as they never talked about having kids

How would Ray react to his girl feeling neglected and seeking attention elsewhere

How Ray deals with reader’s male friend who tries to sabotage

Jealous of Ray’s ex FWB, reader starts dressing and acting sexier

Cuddling in bed with Ray

Ray taking care of reader during her period

Reader thinks Ray’s cheating but he’s not

Reader is unsure where her relationship with Ray lies, he makes it clear she’s his

Joseph Seed

Joseph with small and petite girlfriend

NSFW Alphabet💦

Joseph finds someone just like him, who believes in his vision and takes care of everyone, like a mama bear

Joseph's wife finding out she's pregnant

Having an atheist girlfriend

Joseph falling head over heels for a new follower of his church

Joseph with a virgin SO💦

FC5 Misc.

The Seed brothers learn about latina readers curly hair while in the bunker

Jacob Seed

Jacob with a tall girl, a blonde with blue eyes

Dom!jacob with newly subdued but bratty Dep 💦

Jacob with a chubby S/O 💦

Jacob with small and petite girlfriend

NSFW Alphabet 💦

Animalistic dom!jake with a breeding kink taking his plus-size wife 💦

Having an atheist girlfriend

Jacob with a virgin SO💦

Jacob Seed and a super sweet/naive SO who looks harmless, but can kick ass

Jacob and asexual reader

Jacob taking his plus sized virgin wife’s virginity 💦

John Seed

John dating a small, thin Hispanic girl with crazy curly hair

John with small and petite girlfriend

Having an atheist girlfriend

NSFW Alphabet💦

John with a virgin SO💦

John secretly dating Dep reader

Miguel Ángel Félix Gallardo

Miguel in bed (general)💦

Helping Miguel unwind after a rough day

Miguel surprises reader after you thought he forgot your anniversary

Miguel telling his child about how you and him met

Nick Amaro

Loving Nick coming home to reader after being away to work on a case

Agent OA Zidan

Having an interfaith relationship with OA

Plus size reader tag Black reader tag Latina reader tag

#jacob seed #joseph seed #john seed #far cry 5 #ray merrimen #den of thieves #rio good girls #nbc good girls #billy russo #frank castle #the punisher #geralt of rivera #the witcher #masterlist

2K notes · View notes

softboywriting · 4 years ago

Text

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back | Nathan Bateman | Ex Machina

Summary: You and Nathan hit it off at a tech expo. One thing leads to another and the two of you pull a stunt, claiming you’re married. Things get out of hand, and you end up going to stay with Nathan at his home to avoid people trying to harass you about Nathan’s work. The time you spend together will allow for a real relationship to bloom. [Swearing] [Fake Marriage Trope] [Soft!Nathan] [F!ReaderxNathan]

Word Count: 3.3k

|Masterlist In Bio|

One day you realize Kyoko is missing. You're not sure when she stopped appearing, in fact you can't remember the last time you actually saw her. Last week? No. A month ago? Wait,have you been here that long? Time seems to have lapsed here in the facility with Nathan. You worried about this when you arrived. Or maybe when you took the job. Was it really a job? Everything is a little fuzzy in terms of what you are. An assistant one might think, a housekeeper perhaps? No. You took the job as Nathan Bateman's wife. Yes. Job....well...sort of. Let’s go back to the beginning shall we?

Three months ago you met Nathan at the biggest tech expo in Las Vegas. You weren't exactly there for the inventions and hottest tech on the market. You were a handler, an escort of sorts for the creators and investors from companies attending. Your job was simple. Make things as smooth as possible while the people with disgusting amounts of money make big decisions. It was a great gig. It paid incredibly well for being temporary. But Nathan didn't think it suited you.

The second he laid eyes on you it was all over. You had been nervous for days after learning you were assigned to Nathan Bateman for Thursday, Friday and Saturday of the expo. The Nathan Bateman, creator of Blue Book and the AI Project. You may not be a tech genius or even understand most of the things on display at the expo, but you would have to be living under a rock not to know who this man is and what he has done. He is illusive, handsome, sought after by many people the world over. Nathan is the definition of a sugar daddy if you ever did see one. Notoriously single, generous with his money, beyond genius intellect. He is the whole package.

One thing lead to another after you met Nathan at the expo and before you knew it he had your collar bones a mess with hickies and you were dressed in his sweater to attempt to cover them up. It hadn’t taken long before he was all over you, hands in your hair, on your butt, lips on your neck. You and Nathan had just sparked the moment you got close and you let that fire burn as hot as it could.

Of course all things in life have consequences, good or bad, and as you were leaving the rest area for creators, where the little hands on session had gone down, some press junkie saw you together. Photos were taken. Nathan had not been seen with anyone privately in years. He was never seen with a woman, let alone a woman wearing his sweater and looking a proper mess. It was a scandal to be had.

By the end of Friday Nathan was introducing you as his wife, a plan he had come up with on the fly. He had even procured a huge diamond ring for you too. Somehow you were playing along with all of this. Nathan offered to pay you, just for the appearance because it would be good for the company that he was seen as a man like any other, nothing more needed to come of your relations. It was fine. You were getting paid more than you could hope to make in your lifetime and getting to hang out with Nathan Bateman who you actually clicked with and liked to be around. Win win. You had it made. In less than 24 hours you were to be done with all of this and have cash in pocket to do whatever you wanted with.

Until.

A week after you had your crazy weekend with Nathan you were being followed. People kept showing up at your part time job in the travel agency downtown. They asked questions about Nathan, about his work. You didn't know anything. You were half tempted to tell everyone it was fake, that he never even properly kissed you, but Nathan paid you to be quiet, to play along. You signed his NDA. After a man followed you home from work and watched your apartment for two days, that's when you decided to reach out to Nathan. You could call the police and have the man removed, but there would just be others. This wasn’t a matter for the police, it was a matter for Nathan to handle.

Reaching a man like Nathan wasn't easy. He had left you a business card. A number that went to Blue Book human resources. It wasn't a way of contacting him directly, but it was. On the card was scribbled a word. "REQUIEM" You called the number and listened to the prompts. None reached an operator or customer service line. It seemed that no matter what you did it sent you to an automated system. Eventually you got so annoyed you just said the word requiem as if it were a prompt. Sure enough the phone started ringing, connecting to a line.

"Hello?"

"Nathan?"

"How did you get this number?"

"You gave it to me. At the expo." You tell him that it's you and he sighs heavily in relief. "I need your help."

"My help? With what?"

"I'm being harassed because of the expo." Your voice trembles and you realize how much of a toll this is taking on you. "People have followed me to my home."

"Fuck. Can you get to an airport first thing in the morning?"

"Yes."

"Perfect, give me your email. I'll send you everything you need to get away. Pack your bags for a few months. I'll bring you to my facility as a guest until this blows over or we decide what to do next. It's the least I could do."

And that's how you ended up in his home in the middle of nowhere Alaska for the last month and a half. Your whole world uprooted because you decided that a few hundred thousand dollars was worth playing fake wife to the country's richest and most sought after man for two nights. It was so stupid at hindesight, but here you are actually the happiest you've ever been and connecting with Nathan on a deeper level than you thought possible. The two of you just understand each other, it's as if you're two sides to one coin.

______________________

"So, where is Kyoko?"

Nathan looks over from his desk, peering at you over his glasses. You're leaning against the door frame in a nightgown you know he likes. "She's in storage."

"Why?"

"Because I decommissioned her." He turns his attention back to the computer and begins typing.

You step in and he lets out a little warning hum. You know better than to bother him while he's toiling away on code. Being here for this long has been a learning experience with his reclusiveness, but also a lesson on reading his moods. He's not irritated, yet. "Why did you do that?"

"Kitten, you are distracting me."

Kitten. The nickname he picked out day one. Who gives a guest a nickname?

"I'm curious."

"I'm working. You know the rules."

You lean against the desk and he flicks his gaze to you for a moment as your nightgown rides up your thighs. His rules were simple. Don’t bother him while he works, no kissing, no sex. Really you thought the rules were ridiculous. You were meant to be a guest, hiding while the world forgets about your fake relationship. But things don’t go as planned do they? The two of you have been pushing the boundaries of entering a relationship, though it has never been discussed.

"We haven't talked in days."

Nathan sighs irritably. "I am on to something that could be the greatest breakthrough in AI history." He pushes his chair back and pats his lap. "Come sit."

You do as told and plop down onto his lap.

"Now, if I promise to go to bed in two hours will you stop asking questions?" He runs a hand up your back, fingertips dancing against your skin delicately and making you shiver.

"That's a long time. It's already late."

"My patience is wearing thin."

"Alright deal."

"Good girl." He swats your butt gently and you slide off his lap. "Go make that bed nice and warm for me."

You take one last look back and he's already returned to typing. "One more thing."

"Nope. Get out."

"But-"

"Out, Kitten."

"Nathan, come on."

He stops typing and even in the dim light you can tell he is tense and irritated. This is the time to stop pushing his rules. "Go, or I won't be nice."

You cross the room quickly to kiss his cheek and then hurry from the room. You know he is probably going to do something to get back at you for disrupting him amid a coding session. But that's fine. You like seeing him break his own rules just for you.

__________________

Nathan comes to bed some time late in the night. You just recently began sleeping in his room, it’s what really started to blur the lines of what you were to each other. He had invited you to sleep with him after you found that your brain seemed to wander when you were alone in your cold windowless room in the inner workings of the complex and sleep never came easy. Nathan's room is upstairs, with a view out to the forest should you wish to set the windows to day mode. His bed is huge, elevated on a platform, covered in blankets and plush pillows. One may think Nathan's bed would be neat and clean like the rest of the house but no. It's like a nest of comfort, a bog of pillows that you could get lost in.

"Hey, I can tell you're awake."

"Just woke up."

"Everything is okay, you can sleep."

You arch back against him, butt pressed into his legs. "I still wanna know about Kyoko."

"Don't worry about it."

You yawn and he wraps arm arm around your chest. "It's weird. You said she was fine."

"Hush." He kisses your ear. "Sleep."

You fall silent, stewing in your thoughts. What purpose could he have for decommissioning Kyoko? She seemed fine. He said she had been working for years seamlessly. It just didn't make sense.

_____________________

Morning comes and the bed is empty. Nothing new. You wonder what it would be like to wake up to a sleepy eyed Nathan. Bet he'd look so cute. He's so hot without his glasses on. Well, he is hot with them on too but there is just something different about it you can’t describe.

"You wanna go for a walk?"

You look to the doorway and Nathan has his cargo pants and a jacket on. "I'm not awake yet."

"Suit yourself sweetheart. Call if you need me."

"Yep."

You throw your arm over your face. Your dream is coming back to you. It makes you shiver. You had been riding Nathan, hips rolling down into him desperately, his cock filling you so full. God you couldn't wait to do everything with him, if you ever do. You haven't even kissed yet. Even at the expo, he kept his mouth away froms yours, letting his lips travel elsewhere.

Nathan made his rules very clear at the expo and again when you arrived at the facility. No sex. No kissing. You suppose it has to do with attachments for him. You're just supposed to be staying with him until everything settles down around your fake marriage stunt. It's not supposed to be a real thing, but like you mentioned, everything has become blurry and unclear around your relationship with each other. Of course you both know that you have feelings for each other. Head kisses, throat, shoulder and back kisses are now allowed. Bed sharing is allowed. Cuddling. Snuggling. Talking and sharing memories is allowed. You think it's a matter of time before one of you fucks up and throws caution to the wind. What kind of host shares their bed with their guest? What are you doing here?

You crawl out of bed and grab some sweatpants on the floor along with a hoodie. If you hurry you can catch up with Nathan on the trail. Assuming he took the trail.

The air is crisp, a typical fall morning for Alaska. It's beautiful, so clean, so easy to breathe. Nothing like back home. You jog along the trail that leads away from the back porch and sure enough you find Nathan walking with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey! Wait up!"

Nathan turns and stops, smiling softly at you. "Thought you were too tired."

"I changed my mind."

"Uh huh." He plucks at your hoodie. "This is mine."

"Yeah I just grabbed something in a hurry." You stuff your hands in the front pocket.

He runs a hand through your hair, fingertips lingering along the ends. "I like it on you."

"Thanks? It's just a hoodie."

Nathan pulls his gloves from his pocket and passes them to you. "Take these. I don't need you to lose a finger to the cold."

"You won't make me a cool robot one if I do?"

He pulls the gloves back teasingly. "Mmm, on second thought let's see if I can actually do that."

"No!" You giggle and he allows you to take them.

The two of you walk along in silence just enjoying the outdoors and everything it has to offer. Eventually you end up at the bottom of a waterfall. It's loud, beautiful, almost icy when you touch the water at the edge where it pools.

"Do you want to know why I decommissioned Kyoko?" His sudden choice of topic startles you but it’s nothing new. He was always jumping on subjects randomly.

"Yes."

"Because of you."

"What?" You turn away from the water and walk to where he's leaning against a tree. "What did I do?"

"You took her place."

"What? She was your housekeeper and like an assistant or whatever. I'm neither, I'm just a house guest aren't I?"

“Just a house guest...” Nathan chuckles. "Kyoko was everything for me while I was here alone. A friend, a helper, my lover."

Your eyebrows shoot up. "She could fuck?"

"Of course she could fuck." He waves his hand dismissively. "When I say you took her place I mean in my life. I felt that she was unfair to you, that once you moved into my bed she didn't belong anymore. Kyoko is a great distraction but she isn't human, she doesn't think for herself, or feel for me. She doesn't connect like you and I do. It felt wrong to have her keep me company when you are here."

"But when I leave you'll bring her back out."

"No." He purses his lips and looks down. "Actually I wanted to ask you about that."

"Leaving? Have I overstayed my welcome?"

"Quite the opposite actually."

"The opposite? I haven't stayed long enough?"

Nathan pulls his hands from his pockets and gestures for you to come closer. You do as he asks and he cradles your face. "If you're interested, I'd like to actually start a relationship with you."

"Does that mean we can stop dancing around the edges of whatever this is between us? Because I don't think house guests normally sleep in their host's bed, or wear his clothes, or get neck kisses and give shoulder massages."

He smiles and licks his lips. "I wanted to see how far we could go until one of us broke down and drew a line."

"Nathan, I think we probably would have started showering together next if you hadn't said something by now." You laugh softly. "But yeah, I wanna see where this goes."

"So you'll stay with me a little longer?"

"As long as you'll have me."

"Don't say that." He puts his hands on your hips. "I might keep you forever. Might make you my wife for real."

"I'm not doing much for the rest of my life, so why not?"

Nathan laughs and it makes your heart swell. He rarely does so, it's such a treat to hear. "Never thought I'd meet someone I connect with so completely. Really I didn't think I'd ever meet anyone."

"Why not?"

"I'm not exactly social as you can tell by my living situation. But also I didn't think I deserved someone. Like I deserved to be alone, and be the way I am because I was gifted with such talent. I sort of accepted that it was a trade off for my intellect."

You lay your hand on his chest and his heart is pounding. "No one deserves to be alone. No one."

He smiles weakly. "When you called that day, saying you needed help because of the stunt we pulled, I knew it was you. I knew you were my chance at love in this life. There was no way I was going to let you slip through my fingers a second time."

"Second time?"

"I didn't want to leave you at the expo. I wanted to bring you home with me, I wanted to show you everything. But I knew I pushed it already with the wife stunt, and I knew you had a life and I couldn't be so selfish as to take you away from everything while chasing a high I got."

You smile softly and kiss his cheek. "I probably would have gone with you. That was the best weekend of my life and I didn't want it to end."

"I'm glad you let me play with you in that rest area and we got caught. If we hadn't I don't think we would be here right now."

"Don't make it sound so dirty."

"It was a little dirty." He kisses your cheek. "Hot too. You were so ready to just let me do whatever."

"Nathan!" You giggle and he presses his lips to yours. The sensation takes your breath away.

He cradles your face and slides a hand into your hair. He licks into your mouth and you let out a soft whimper. You grip his jacket and he turns you around so your back is against the tree. "Thought this would go a little differently."

"Yeah? How so?"

He presses another kiss to your lips. "Thought we'd be in the house, maybe curled up by the fire or in bed."

"Nathan Bateman a romantic? I'm shocked."

"I live to shock people." He chuckles. "I shocked my investors and my agent with our little marriage announcement."

"You didn't tell anyone it was fake? Not even your agent?"

"Not yet." He grins. "I like to make him sweat a little."

"You're mean."

"Sometimes."

"Well now we've established that this is happening, why don't we head back to the house? Are you free today?"

Nathan takes your hand in his and steps away from the tree. "I'm free every day."

"No you're not."

"I'm free every day you want me from now on." He threads your fingers together. "I promise."

"That's a big promise to make."

"I'll keep it." He brings your hand up and kisses it. "I'm a man of my word, you know that."

"Yes you are."

"Come on, I'm tired of waiting." He pulls you along the path and you walk quickly to keep his pace. "The last month and half have been torture."

You get ahead of him and pull your hand out of his. He raises an eyebrow. He knows what you're thinking. He knows you're going to run for the house and make him chase you.

"Don't you do it."

"Too late." You take off and he follows in hot pursuit. "You gotta catch me if you wanna keep me!"

His arm encircles your waist the moment you reach the porch and he tumbles you both down onto the sun warmed smooth wood. He rolls you under him and pins you by your arms. "You're mine now."

"I guess I am." You smile big and he captures your lips with his once more. “I wouldn’t be anyone else's.”

End .

-----------

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*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted works.*****

#nathan bateman #nathan bateman fic #nathan bateman x reader #Ex Machina #ex machina fic #ex machina fanfic #ex machina fanfiction #Oscar Isaac #oscar isaac character #oscar isaac characters #oscar isaac fic

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okaybutlikeimagine · 4 years ago

Text

Come Inside, It’s Ok

Desc: Hop realizes that Billy is a lot like him when he was a teen- based on the song Thirteen by Big Star (bc that’s a Jopper AND a Harringrove anthem, tell me i’m wrong)

TW: referenced past child abuse, referenced homophobia, every dad in Hawkins sounds like an abusive asshole in this fic i didn’t mean it 😞

you can also read this on AO3 right here!! ♥

~*~

James Hopper hated his father more than anyone else hated the man. More than his uncle who had to grow up with the jerk. More than his mother who threatened to divorce the deadbeat seven times. More than anyone.

Hopper’s father was abrasive and loud. He joined the army because he wanted to. He gave up his individuality willingly. He shaved his head and licked the boot of The Man and acted superior for it. He looked down on a young Jimmy Hopper and barked in his face and ordered that he become a man. Quicker. Jim was only 7. He had just broken an arm at football practice. He needed reassurance and comfort. He got condescension and a mother threatening to leave. Loudly.

James Hopper was sure he was the only son in the world who hated his own father. He felt sure as hell about it when he stuck his jaw out and looked past his nose at his father who always seemed to tower over him. Even when the man only had an inch on him, he was larger- always looming. He felt sure as hell about it when he’d narrow his eyes and refuse to listen. He felt sure as hell about it when he talked back to him, and got into yelling matches with him, and slammed the door on him.

He felt even more sure the one night he got hit.

He was more than certain he was the only one. Standing there, staring this horrible bulk of a man down, Jimmy knew no one else had ever felt such a thing before. This wasn’t TV or the movies. This wasn’t a family love you cherish by the fire on a cold Christmas night. This wasn’t a father with kind eyes and a stern voice who comes into the house in the evening with his suit on and his briefcase in hand, kissing his kids and smiling brightly. This was different and he knew it.

And all of that anger and stress and feeling of certainty made him take too long to realize something crucial. Because he didn’t realize you can know something and yet still be so wrong.

That is, until Phil didn’t come to school one day.

Jimmy figured he was sick. A couple days later he figured it was that nasty stomach bug. A week later and he figured his family took a trip. A week and a few days had him itching with worry. He asked his best friend as calmly as he could. That friend looked at him like he was nuts.

“You didn’t hear?”

“Hear what?”

“He moved away. His mom took him out of the state last weekend. They just left.”

Jim couldn’t understand the words for a second.

“Why?”

“You didn’t know? His dad has been roughing him up for years now. He got the mom too, I think. Why do you think he was always wearing sweaters all year long?”

Jim’s heart stopped.

“His mom finally got him out. They left.”

“Why did no one say anything about it?”

“Because you don’t talk about that stuff.” Jim’s friend said, hushed and knowing, eyes turned solemn and hiding a world Jim didn’t know lived in there. In his most outspoken, lively friend. In his friend he’d known since they were toddlers.

You don’t talk about that stuff he said like he had a whole world of pain to tell. Jim knew his friends were like him- dads who were tough as nails and grunted more than spoke. It was why they all got along so well. But they never mentioned their fathers being… Jim was so sure he was the only one. Everyone else did things with their family. Everyone else seemed so perfect. At the very least they seemed better. Jim was sure.

Why did no one say anything about it? quickly morphed into Why did I never even ask?

Starting there, Jim kept a critical eye out. He watched his friends and what they were wearing. The way they moved and the changes in those movements. The words they spoke about their parents. He noticed differences and fluctuating emotions. But stil, he was only a young teenager- he never knew what to do. His mouth couldn’t form around the words he felt he should say. His brain could barely provide them. So he did for them what he would have liked- just took them out to empty fields and deep into the woods. He provided them beer and music. Sometimes, when they were splitting at the seams, he’d fight them a bit. He’d egg them on so they could fight it out. Get the anger out. Help, somehow. Inadvertently. Lord knew Jimmy sometimes just needed to punch shit. Turns out, his friends felt the same way, and often.

When his daughter Sarah came, he handled her gently and spoke to her even softer. He got into fights with his now ex-wife over his not being strict enough but Hop couldn’t find it in himself to have any kind of gruffness toward someone so soft and so innocent and so pure. She was the light of his life. She left so quickly. Even his softness and kindness couldn’t save her, and he couldn’t very well beat the shit out of her enemies like he had wished to.

And when he met Billy Hargrove on the side of the road that one dark night, having pulled him over for speeding drunkenly down the lonely streets on the outskirts of town, every red flag flew up. Every worry and fear he found within himself when he was a teen found its place once again inside of him for this boy. For his bruised face and exhausted eyes. For his lightly cut chin and short breath. Hop became young Jimmy yet again, analyzing and fearing for a world of pain he couldn’t see and couldn’t ask about. He searched hard for words this time and found all the wrong ones. He exhausted the poor boy with his inability to articulate his fears and was successful in taking him in only because he had worn him out so badly.

Still, since then, he’s been here. He’s family now. He’s out of there. In all his fumbling Hop did something right.

And yet, things still feel wrong. Billy still walks tentatively around him, like the cabin is going to crash down above him and any relationship they’ve built up is going to shatter.

Hop thinks about it so often. He thinks about Billy and sees his own friends from high school. He sees parts of himself, but sadder, angrier… more helpless. He thinks endlessly on what he can do to fix it.

~Won’t you let me walk you home from school~

A song starts playing through his record player and he’s lost again in the world of Jimmy vs. Billy. He thinks of how life used to feel simple.

This song always whisks him away to high school. The early days when life was confused and wandering and he was just coming into his own with football, not nearly a “star” yet and Joyce… Joyce was young and wide eyed and wandering just the same. By that point she hadn’t even met Lonnie yet. She was awkward and yet still so beautiful. So quiet and so stunning. Her laughter rang through the hallways and he swears he can still hear it.

This song feels like it’s for them. When he first heard it, he saw her face back when they were freshmen and then sophomores, when he used to walk her home. He always used to walk her home, before he got his car and before she got Lonnie. They’d walk so slow, wandering through the streets, lazily strolling past stores and getting slightly distracted by the people zooming past on their bikes.

He sits forward on the couch and he looks down at the tattered carpet and he hears himself as Jimmy.

”C’mon Joyce… we can hit the pool this weekend.”

“I’m busy.”

“Then… then maybe Friday I can get a couple tickets for that dance.”

“What?”

He gave her his biggest, brightest grin, knowing he caught her off guard. He smiles a little now at the thought.

”Yeah, c’mon, Joyce. I’ll take ya. I’ll get a monkey suit and you can wear a dress-”

She had laughed that bright, ringing laugh. It made him smile every time.

“Yeah, I think I’ll pass.”

“You’re gonna pass up a chance to dance with me?”

“Don’t tell me, you’re the best dancer in Hawkins?”

“You’ll never know if you don’t come find out.”

“You’re really full of yourself, aren’t you?”

Hop has a hard time thinking of himself back then. He felt so sure of everything. Of himself and what he was doing, even if he knew he didn’t know anything at all. Still, he chuckles now as he sits here, thinking about Joyce’s smile and her little nod. Thinking about him buying those tickets. Thinking about the night they had together, awkward and fumbling but bright still. His first real kiss that had real feelings to go along with it. The way Joyce walked so quickly as they headed to her home because she was so nervous. The way she never let him walk her up to her house because she was so scared her parents would ground her.

Lord does he remember the fights. The stress and the struggle of dealing with Joyce’s parents. When they came to an after-school event and Jimmy said hi to her and her dad gave her hell for it and her mom worried herself sick for a bit. She got grounded and started avoiding him. He got angry and figured fine because Gloria from his History class had been eyeing him up lately and helping him with a pretty friendly smile so it didn’t even matter.

It wasn’t more than a week that had passed before he cornered her after school and convinced her to let him walk her home again.

They wandered downtown and he guided her behind a store building, the store she now works for if he remembers correctly, and asked about that night. Asked about what he said wrong. Asked about what he did wrong.

She shook her head, said it was just her parents being “crazy, I don’t know”. He couldn’t find it in him to worry that much. When they kissed, it was still with so many feelings attached. Hop can’t remember when those feelings faded.

It wasn’t until a couple years later when a rumor started going around about Joyce’s dad being a grade A asshole like Phil’s was all those years ago that made Jim take her aside very seriously and ask her if she was okay- those couple of years ago and that day. By that point she was with Lonnie and he was getting serious about Diane. He and Joyce hadn’t talked for over a year. Still, he was worried. She insisted that her dad just liked to huff and puff and yell enough to shake her ears, but he never touched her. It wasn’t until years and years later that Hop realized that really isn’t any better. Nowadays she insists she was and is fine and he’s just found it in himself to believe her.

When Hop finally got a car, they would sit in it and listen to the radio and talk music. She was the only person who’d sit with him and actually think about lyrics and feelings and words. She was always so headstrong about… well everything but especially human rights. She wanted equal rights for everyone. She fought so hard it made Jim tired. Maybe it started with her father but it truly never seemed to end. They used to sit and theorize about meanings behind words and the messages of songs.

”Tell your old man what we say about Paint It, Black. That’ll mess him up.”

Joyce hit him with a chuckle. That was the last time in high school they really laughed together. He can still remember her laugh back then- light and free from any weight these years have brought to it.

But now Jimmy is Hopper, and life isn’t the same. It doesn’t wander and linger and hide behind stores for extra kisses that feel electric. He knows life just doesn’t work that way anymore. He feels like life has only continued with all of the bad parts and none of the good.

In the slow guitar interlude of the song, he hears voices where they shouldn’t be- distant and slightly muffled and outside the window that’s opened a bit to let some air in.

“Yeah, he’s home. The cruiser is there.”

“Then I should go-”

“No, wait-”

It’s Billy and another voice Hop thinks he can recognize. Sounds like the same cocky, lilted tone of Steve Harrington. He knows they’ve been fighting for months now. They always seem to be fighting. Hop used to get called into the school because Billy was always shoving him around that one year. Since then there’s been whispers of them causing a ruckus all over the place but Hop never gets called to check it out. He doesn’t like to ask too much about it. He’s still trying to handle Billy gently and there’s so many more things to worry about. He doesn’t have the words to ask about that.

He doesn’t have the words to explain why they’d be here, together and clearly not at each other’s throats. Why bring a fight all the way back home?

“You uh… got anything planned this weekend?”

“Nope, nothing planned.”

A pause.

“There’s uh… a stupid dance or something-”

“Billy-”

“Look I just… we can’t go, obviously but maybe… we can do something on our own?”

There’s another pause. Longer this time. Hop used to be so sure and suddenly he’s realizing yet again maybe things are the same as they were when he was young- because yet again, he doesn’t know anything.

~Won’t you tell me what you’re thinking of~

“C’mon Harrington….” there’s the confirmation Hop didn’t need. “Say something at least. Don’t just stand there thinking.”

“Billy we can’t keep running around and hiding.”

“Why not?”

~Would you be an outlaw for my love?~

“What if people find out, that’s why not! What if my dad-”

“Tell your dad to fuck off.”

“And Hop?”

Hop’s heart stops. Everything comes crashing to a halt because suddenly he’s being made to face the very harsh fact that he’s not Jimmy anymore. He hasn’t been for a long while. He’s Chief Hopper and Chief Hopper belongs to the “other” part of these young kids’ minds. Billy’s and Steve’s and El’s and Mike’s. He’s the man they’re meant to rebel against. He’s the one that doesn’t “get it” like they do.

And apparently he’s the one that Steve is worried about.

He doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t even know what to think. He knows people like that exist. He thinks he used to go to school with a few guys who were… well, into other things. He never had much to say or even think about it. Joyce was friends with them. She went out to a protest or something once in their senior year. He saw her in a car with them while he was taking Diane to the movies.

It’s not the fact that they like each other or that they want to spend time together. That’s better than them beating the snot out of each other and getting his guys called on them. It’s the fact that they’re worried about him and the fact that they have every reason to be. Hop is part of “The Man” now, and people around here don’t exactly like differences.

“I’ll figure it out.” Billy says, but Hop almost misses it, it’s so quiet.

“Billy-”

“Are you gonna fight for this, or what? Or is this just a one time thing for you to find yourself or some bullshit?”

Hop hears Jimmy in Billy’s words

”Are you not gonna fight for me?”

“Fight for you?!” Joyce had yelled. Oh, how she yelled. ”Are you serious? I… I pick and choose my fights Jim, okay? I have to.”

“That’s not very fair to me.”

“Not fair? No shit it’s not fair, it’s not fair for me either! And you… you’re not being fair to me, y’know!”

And that was it. They went separate ways. It’s so vivid in Jim’s mind- the way she stormed away and Jim drove himself home. He doesn’t remember how long it took until Lonnie joined Joyce’s picture, but it felt too soon in Hop’s ever bitter mind. He couldn’t look at her for weeks. He shoved Lonnie in the hallway any chance he got. The kid would snarl and sneer at him, but he was as scrappy as a dog and scrawnier than a toothpick- no way did he ever pick a fight. He spat words and Jimmy lunged and that was that. Hop doesn’t remember when the feelings faded, but he knows he never stopped hating Lonnie’s stupid face.

Then he started to date Diane and things were just… over.

“Alright Steve, I see-”

“It’s not that easy for me, Billy.”

“And you think this shit is easy for me?”

Hop feels bad for sitting here, still listening, but he can’t get his muscles or limbs to move him. He feels stuck, somewhere between here and the past, picturing all the ways he’s still the same and yet so wildly different.

“Well it is different for you.”

“Just because my shit’s different doesn’t mean my shit’s better. Shit is still shit, Steve.”

All the times Hop thought he had it the worst anyone could ever possibly have it.

“You don’t know what it’s like.”

“Try me, Harrington! Just try me.”

All the times Hop thought maybe his friends were exaggerating about Phil’s past. Maybe Joyce was being dramatic about things at home. There was no way a kid could feel so threatened. Not a kid as big as Phil. Not a kid as headstrong as Joyce.

There’s a longer pause from the two outside the window. The voice that comes is quieter now.

“It’s scary Billy.”

“I know it is! I… fuck I know it is.”

Not a kid as big and headstrong as Billy. It took years for Hop to believe it could happen and still, with an example living in his own house, it’s still hard to understand.

“Don’t you think it could be worth it?” That’s Billy’s voice. Hop feels his heart sink even deeper. They’re talking like they’re going to die if they’re caught. How many more times can he tell this boy he’s safe here? What does he have to do to convince him? To convince them both?

“Maybe… I think so.”

“Look, I can’t make you do anything, Steve. But if you wanna try… then let me know, alright?”

Billy sounds so tired. Hop wants to tell him to lay down and take a nap. There’s such a long pause that follows and fills the space between them.

And then suddenly there’s something blocking the sun from the window. Jim gets the wherewithal to turn and see that the two boys have got their hands tangled in the front of each other’s shirts, just like they would if they were gearing for a fight, but instead of fists flying it’s their lips locked- worlds of frustration still heavy on their brows.

Jim wants to protect these kids until the day he dies. They’re here and they’re wandering too, but their walk home is covered in speed bumps and potholes and hell maybe even spikes that he and Joyce never knew. Whatever he can do to give these kids the time and place to wander like the kids they are, he’ll do it.

Then they separate, their breathing clearly labored and mingling. Then they turn and see Jim in the window, caught like two deer in big bright headlights.

A split second later, Steve is running for the hills and Billy is left with his fists grasping at the air. Hop can’t help but laugh.

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adg1115 · 4 years ago

Text

The Club Princess

After my little run in with Jax things around the clubhouse seemed more off than normal. I tried to keep myself as far away from Jax as possible. I was angry more with myself than him. I knew what living this life would entail and yet I am still here. I may have overreacted at the situation, dramatic if you will. I have been attracted to Jax since my hormones decided to notice the beautiful men around me. So my hormones may have been in overdrive with that little spanking incident. I wasn’t thinking straight. I mean who would after that?

Dani had been bugging me about what I possibly would want to do once I was free of bar duty but to be honest I had no idea what I wanted. I mostly wanted a chance or choice to do something else. Dani asked me to come work with her not as a dancer but behind the bar. Another place, same bar wench - no thank you.

It was another Saturday night at the Clubhouse: music blaring, half naked women all around, dunk men, and me behind the bar. I plastered a fakish smile on my face. Don’t get me wrong I do love the club and didn’t mind the bar it was just another night, same routine.

“Ready for another one?” I asked as Opie sat down on one of the stools.

“Yeah I can use another one.”

“Rough day?”

“You could say rough week,” Opie said, cutting his eyes to mine like he knew what I was talking about. I turned to get his beer and placed it down in front of him. He just stared at me like I could read his mind. And everyone said women were confusing as fuck.

“What?!” I screamed at him. Not that he could really tell the difference in volume with as loud as they kept the clubhouse.

Opie just shook his head at me laughing, “You have no fucking clue what you do to that man. Give him a break princess and talk to him. Forgive him. Fuck him. Whatever you need to do to make it right. He's miserable and has been taking it out on all of us. So for the love of God and the club, fix it.” Opie took a long drink from his beer and then left me at the bar with nothing but my thoughts.

Jax was miserable. Highly doubted that. I have never seen him miserable over someone since Tara left his ass. Not even when his drugged out ex wife left him with a baby to raise. He had an impenetrable force field around him. I glanced over to where the man in question was sitting with other guys from the club and croweaters around him. He didn’t look miserable to me. In fact, he looked quite comfortable with a g-string covered ass on his lap. He threw his head back and laughed at something someone has said. As he lowered his head his eyes locked with mine. I knew I should look away but I just couldn’t. He had me in a spell with those deep blue eyes. He tapped the croweater on the leg and motioned for her to get up. Fuck. I really didn’t want to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him so bad. I wanted him to forget about our conversation. I wanted to lay back across his lap.

“Hey.” God just a simple hey and I was ready to forget our little argument, jump this bar, and hump his leg like a desperate dog looking for attention.

Get it the fuck together, y/n. “Hey Jax.” Calm. Sweating. Cool. Gonna throw up. Collected. Freaking out.

“Can I get another one?”

“Yeah of course,” I let out with a sigh. This is crazy. I grabbed a beer and asked, “Can we talk?”

He took a sip and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah we can do that.”

“Maybe somewhere out here so it doesn’t get out of hand?” Fucking smooth, y/n.

“Yeah I’ll get someone to cover for you. Meet me there,” he said pointing to a table in the corner by the pool table. It was far back enough that no one would bother us but still in the open so I wouldn’t end up back across his knees.

I grabbed two beers and headed to the table, my body shaking the whole time. I have no idea why I was so nervous. This was Jax, what’s the worst that could happen. I piss him off and he kicks me out? Doubtful. Piss him off and he never talks to me again? Didn’t see that happening. Throw myself at him? Yeah that's more likely.

“What’s that face for?” Jax whispered in my ear as he came around the table. The goosebumps immediately formed.

“Oh, yeah nothing. Just thinking.” About us doing naughty things.

“Hmmm thinking? About what?”

“I have a few things I want to say so please let me get them all out then you can yell at me, kick me out, whatever you plan to do.” Jax lowered his brows and frowned at me.

“Y/N….” I held up my hand to stop him. I had things to say and I knew once I started it would be verbal diarrhea and everything would come out but it was for the best, we could move on.

“Let me do this.” With a nod from Jax I continued, “I’m sorry. I overreacted to everything. Jax you and the club have been nothing but amazing to me and for that I could never repay you. I am so grateful that you take care of me in exchange for me working at the bar. But Jax I’ve done this for so long with nothing else. No future. I want something that makes me truly happy. That I wake up in the morning and I have this energy flowing through me. That if I don't do this one thing, I’ll literally explode. I used to have that with the bar but now it's more like a chore than a thrill. I don’t want to end up behind the bar for the rest of my life. I love you guys with all my heart. And in this case it’s one hundred percent me and not you.

I’m not looking to become a croweater and fuck everyone I see but I would like to meet a nice guy, go on dates, to feel like I’m attractive for once in my fucking life. I know guys want to fuck me, I’ve been propositioned more than once but I want something lasting. You hurt me when you said that. Like you don’t even know me. When have I thrown myself at all the dick running around here? Never. Oh God, am I making this worse? You look pissed off.” I was screwing this up.

In a deep voice I have never heard from Jax he replied, “No continue because then I have some things to say.”

Shit this is not how I wanted this to go. “So anyway Dani asked me to come work with her…”

“That is not fucking happening.”

“...but I told her no. I want something else besides being behind a bar. I wouldn’t fucking dance Jax.”

“I wouldn’t let you.” This overgrown fucking man child.

“It wouldn’t be your choice but that is besides the point. I have been thinking about what I wanted to do and I was thinking of maybe taking a few classes at the college to maybe see what I like. I took those computer classes senior year. Remember? And I really enjoyed that. So maybe. I’m rambling. The main point is I’m sorry. I overreacted. Plus that spanking had me feeling very very confused.” I ended with a laugh.

“You done princess?” When I nodded he continued. “First I'm sorry. I should have never insinuated that you wanted to be a clubwhore but you pushed my last fucking button.” When he saw that I was about to fucking rip into him he held up his hand. “It’s my turn. I know you probably better than you know yourself. I know you wouldn’t fuck just any random dude. I know this but you have no idea what you do to me princess and that is all my fault. I want you to accomplish and get all that you want out of life but I’ve been selfish since day one with you. I have this connection to you that I can’t break. I told everyone to stay away from you. I stuck you behind that bar so I knew where you were at all times and that you were safe. But after our last little argument and talking with some of the guys it's time for things to change. So look up what you want to take at Charming Community. We will work things out here.” Jax gave me a smirk like he knew all the secrets and wouldn’t be sharing with me anytime soon.

“Jax I need to talk to you, now,” Clay called out.

Jax hung his head and let out a breath. “We aren’t finished talking about this,” he said standing up and walking right next to me. He leaned down to my ear, “But know this that spanking didn’t confuse me at all. In fact, it made me realize how fantastic it will be.”

I swallowed and whispered back, “How fantastic what will be.”

Jax kissed the side of my face and whispered, “When I finally get to fuck you.”

Tag list: @ames2024 @samxslaughter @notquitecannon @alievans007

#jax teller fanfiction #Jax Teller #jax teller imagine #jax teller x reader #jax teller fanfic #sons of anarchy

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niffala · 4 years ago

Text

Baby Blues (Pt. 3)

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, cheating mention, manipulation, argument

A/N: Reader insert version found here. 18+ only due to smut and noncon/dubcon situations. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Chapter 2 Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 3

Dani pulled up to their, no, his house. He'd gotten home only a few minutes before. She took a few deep, calming breaths. If she started crying now, she’d never get through it. She exited her vehicle, a headache already forming and every muscle taught. This was it, fight or flight. God, she wanted to do both. Run away and beat him to a pulp. But she already chickened out once. She had to do this, needed the closure.

With great trepidation, she quietly let herself in. She knew Bucky was alone, Nat had verified that for her, but Dani still stood in the entrance looking and listening for any signs of the other woman. She could hear the shower running, buying her a few minutes to collect her thoughts. Walking over to the couch, she sat and waited for her soon to be ex husband.

Bucky sauntered out of the bedroom, hair damp, wearing only a pair of sweats. Under different circumstances she would have jumped into his arms and kissed him breathless. Dani’s stomach twisted painfully, an involuntary noise in the back of her throat alerting him.

Spotting his wife, Bucky’s face broke into a huge grin, “Honey, you're home early. I missed you so much.” He closed the distance in three long strides and leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head away. “What's wrong, does my breath smell?” Dani didn’t answer so he changed the topic. “Hey, I think you lost these. I found them on the bed.” He proudly pulled her wedding rings out of his pocket and presented them to her.

Dani stared at his outstretched hand like it was a snake coiled to strike. She was surprised to hear herself speaking, her voice low and laced with tension. “How long has it been going on? I know what she told me, but I need to hear it from you.”

Realizing she wasn't reaching for them, he closed the rings in his fist and returned them to his pocket. Perplexed by his wife's behavior, he sat down next to her. “I'm not sure what we're talking about.”

“I know, okay. You can stop pretending.”

“Know what, Honey?” Bucky reached over to brush the hair out of her face. “Why do you look so sad?”

The intimate gesture was all it took to unleash the festering anger built up inside her. Dani slapped his hand away. “I know, Bucky. I know why you stopped trying for a baby with me. I know about you and Tanya!” Spitting out the homewrecker’s name, Dani leapt up to move away from her husband.

Bucky frowned, “What do you mean? We haven't stopped trying. And what about Tanya? We just got back, the mission went…”

“I know you’ve been fucking her!” she interrupted.

“WHAT?!” Bucky's mouth hung open, gawking at his wife. “Who told you that? You can't possibly think that I would do something like that.”

Dani was livid that he would feign innocence. “Don’t give me that bullshit, Bucky. I saw you. I came home and I saw you fucking her in OUR fucking bed!”

“Honey, I don’t know what you are talking about. I promise you, that never happened.” Bucky stood up, reaching out for her. “I'm getting really worried about you. Maybe you should stop taking the hormones, they are messing with your head. Tell your doctor the medication is giving you vivid dreams again.”

Dani moved away from his outstretched arm. “The only things messing with my head are you and your little slut trainee. I know about the affair. You've been caught red handed. Why do you keep denying it?”

“BECAUSE I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!!!” he shouts. Bucky scrubs his hands down his face, trying to calm the panic in his heart. “Dani please, you are scaring me. You sound crazy….”

“Don’t fucking call me crazy.” She could feel her face becoming wet, but she kept going. “I saw everything. Stop lying to me goddamit!”

Bucky was starting to become frantic, tears pricking his eyes “Honey, I swear I've only been with you. I love you. I’ve never looked at anyone else, let alone slept with them. I'd die before hurting you like that. I’m begging you, let's call the doctor.”

Dani throws her phone at him. “Press play and then tell me I’m crazy,'' she demanded, voice quivering. “TELL ME I’M IMAGINING THINGS!”

He did as she instructed. His face froze in shock as he watched the hotel video. “Who... who sent this?”

“Your whore. We had a lovely little chat about it. She told me you've been screwing her for months.”

Bucky shook his head in denial, stopping the video. “It’s fake. It's.. It’s not real. You can’t believe this, Dani.”

“STOP FUCKING LYING TO ME!” Dani screamed, hands balling into fists. “Just stop! There are multiple videos of you and her. Man up and just admit you've been cheating on me.”

He was losing his grip on the situation. “Honey, I swear to you I haven't. I promise on my life I haven't.” He scrolled through the phone, glancing at the other images. “These.. These are.. No!” He shut the phone off. “I would never do something like this. Please believe me. I don't know how those videos were made but they've been altered. I did those things with you.”

Dani could not believe what she just heard. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?!”

“Dani, the hotel room was your idea, remember? It was sexy and fun and we had a great weekend there. Things have been going so well lately. Romanic dates and so much sex you’ve been wearing me out. It's been like a second honeymoon for us. I would never cheat on you.”

She laughed, humorlessly. “That wasn't me, it was your mistress. What, you can't tell us apart anymore?” Dani began moving toward the front door, weeping. “How could you do this to me?”

“I HAVEN'T!” Bucky's whole body trembled. “Please wait. This isn't right. Let's get to the bottom of this. I didn't do anything, please trust me. I love you so much, Honey. I would never betray you.” He tried once more to move closer to her.

“I can't believe you keep denying it when the evidence is staring us in the face.” She grabbed her phone from him. “FUCK YOU, FUCK THIS MARRIAGE! I’M DONE! IT’S OVER!”

He could feel his chest constricting, a vice around his heart. “No, Honey, don't do this. Don't leave me. Please don't leave me. I love you. Please, Dani. Please! Not like this. I need you.”

“Well I don't need you. I’ve already moved my stuff out. Guess you didn't notice. Just like you were too busy balls deep in Tanya to notice me standing there during your last tryst. I'm leaving now. Don't call me, don’t text me, don't try to see me. We're over!”

Bucky slumped on the ground, sobbing and heartbroken. He looked up at her, eyes red, voice barely above a whisper, “Dani please...I love you… please…”

Dani could feel herself falling for his act. A part of her longing to hold him and kiss his tears away. But she refused to give in. Not after what he did. She took one last look around, lamenting the once beautiful memories they shared between these 4 walls.

Her eyes settled on his broken form, her entire body fighting to go to him, to comfort him. Swallowing the lump in her throat she resolved herself that she could not do that. Never again. “I'm not the one that threw us away,” she choked out.

The hardest thing she ever did was turn and walk out the door and out of his life. She heard a loud wail from inside the house that stopped her heart. Then silence.

Chapter 4

#niffala fics #bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes smut

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buttonso · 4 years ago

Text

The Ones Who Came Before: An Aura/Harvey short

Heyyy... Trivia Tuesday: Pride Edition.

This short could count as a lost mini-chapter of Breathe With Me. It would take place somewhere in the weeks between chapters 4 and 5, in the late winter or early spring. It touches on Aura and Harvey's respective romantic pasts.

I decided along the way that I viewed both Aura and Harvey as bisexual. At first I didn't really want it to come up in the fic, because I didn't want it to be a source of tension or drama. I wanted it to be a simple fact that they accepted about each other easily. So, I wasn't sure going back and writing a scene like this would be worth it, but, well... why not?

1,364 words. Mentions sex, and has a few swears but is otherwise pretty user-friendly.

Oh, and... proofreading was half assed so forgive any typos 😅

The Ones Who Came Before

Their respective romantic histories hadn’t been something they’d discussed at all before they began dating. Despite mutually agreeing that they would take the physical side of their relationship slowly, Aura seemed to have decided it was important to fill Harvey in on her rather adventurous romantic (and not so romantic, at times) history.

“After Stephanie and I broke up, I was alone for a couple of months… then the letter from Grandpa’s lawyers came, and a few weeks later, here I was.” She seemed a bit tense. “I know that we decided to kick sex down the road a bit… but I want you to know that despite that laundry list of exes, I have been tested for everything under the sun. So… whenever we decide we’re ready…” She trailed off glanced at him, her expression uncertain.

“That’s, ah… that’s good to know.” He wondered, not for the first time, what she wanted with the likes of him. Judging by her history, she could have just about anyone she wanted. Though she hadn’t gone into great detail on every relationship, she had been with several men and a few women, including her most recent ex before moving to the valley. “As a doctor, I shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about that… and I’m clean as well.”

“Good to know.” She bumped her shoulder with his. “So, you’re… not bothered by it?” she added, her tone hesitant, shoulders tense, hands wrapped around her mug as she stared down into it. Her gaze flicked up from their contemplation of the coca when Harvey failed to answer.

“I’m not bothered by it.” Harvey shifted uneasily beside her on the couch. His own mug saw empty on the coffee table in front of them. His hand slid down her back, wondering how the green wool that had seemed so itchy when the sweater belonged to him suddenly felt so soft. She sat up a little straighter and smiled at him.

“Really? Not by the sheer number or… or the women? Because… some people have been super weird about it. In the past, I mean. It’s crazy, right… same sex marriage has been legal in Zuzu City for like, fifteen years, but some people are still so threatened by it.” Usually so cool and collected, Aura’s voice was a bit rushed and strained. “And I’m babbling…”

Harvey cleared his throat. He supposed it was his turn now. “…It’s not that I’m bothered by it. I think I will come off rather boring compared to you, though…” It was his turn to be hesitant. They had such a nice time whenever they were together. She’d assured him multiple times that even though he had been the one to say he wanted to put off sleeping together, that she was willing to go with what he needed, and that she wanted to change her own patterns when it came to relationships. But…

“You’re not boring. And you don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with. Whether you’ve been with one woman or a hundred… I’m just glad you’re with me now,” She scooted a little closer to him and sipped at her cocoa.

“I’ve been with two women… and one man.” Harvey couldn’t help but feel a touched of amusement as surprise flickered across her features. “So… only three… rather pathetic, isn’t it?”

“It’s not pathetic at all, it’s just… I’m a little surprised. I didn’t think… that is, I didn’t have you pegged for…ah…” Aura trailed off, a blush darkening her cheeks.

Harvey shrugged. “What does a bisexual look like?” It felt odd to use that word out loud, but considering how long he’d been alone, it had become little more than a background detail in recent years.

She winced. “Well… shit. I was worried the women in my past would throw you off, but now I’m the one being weird. I’m sorry.” She set her mug down and offered him her hand.

He took it, lacing their fingers together. He liked holding hands this way- it felt so much more intimate than simply clasping hands. “It’s all right. I do tend to notice women more often than men, but… I do notice them.” He hesitated. “Does it… bother you?”

She shook her head. “Not really. I’d be a big damn hypocrite if it did. It just surprised me a little, that’s all. Do you want to tell me about any of them?”

Harvey blinked, surprised with himself that, yes… he did want to talk about them. They might be few in number, but they’d all been very important in his life. A nervous blush heated his face as he nodded, releasing her hand so he could slide his arm around her shoulders. She put her head on his shoulder and a little of the tension eased from his body.

“Sybil was my first… my first girlfriend, first… you know… first heartbreak, first everything. I mean… I was only nineteen but… she was everything to me. Or at least… she was at the time. But we ended up going to different medical schools and that was that. She’s one of the top cardiologists in the Republic now… married, with two kids. She sends me a Winter Star card every year.” That breakup had been hard, but he’d thrown himself into his studies to distract himself, and the pain had faded in time. Now it was little more than a distant memory. “Medical school kept me too busy to date, for the most part… but… then came Phillipe.” He smiled faintly at the memory. “He was so handsome. And funny and charming, and… well, everything I’m not.”

“Will you stop saying shit like that?” Aura muttered, poking him in the side. “I haven’t even seen this guy and I’d pick you over him, so there.” Despite her aggravated tone, the words did please him. Not that he’d admit it out loud.

“I’m sorry… well… Phillipe and I were in medical school together… I don’t know if you’d call it a relationship, exactly, but… well… we enjoyed, um…”

“Blowing off steam together?” Aura suggested, then giggled as he glared at her.

Well. Yes, she was right. BUT STILL. “He’s a plastic surgeon in Sereness now. I get Winter Star cards from his well, but we haven’t spoken in years, so… I assume he’s doing well. At least I hope so. And as for my most recent ex, well… there’s not much to tell there. Another fellow doctor. Linda and I worked together at Zuzu General. I’m… not sure she even counts as an ex, exactly. We only dated a few times… the, um… the chemistry… didn’t really last beyond a few encounters. We decided we preferred to be friends and colleagues. When I find myself in the city, I often have dinner with her and her wife.” And… that was it. That was his whole romantic history. It had taken less than five minutes to roll the whole thing out.

“…I mean… I may have quantity, but it sounds like you had quality,” Aura remarked, reaching up and running her fingers over his hair briefly. “A few of my exes and I wanted to stay friends, but… no one sends me Winter Star cards. I think it speaks well of you.”

“…I don’t want you sending me cards,” Harvey blurted out, turning to face her. “I… I like to think I’d be a big enough man to remain friends with you if… if things don’t work out, but… I don’t want you to just be a pleasant memory, Aura.”

Aura’s eyes widened and she blushed, but she seemed to recover quickly. “If you’re not planning on dumping me anytime soon… I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that,” she said, reaching up to caress his cheek. “And I think…” Her fingers slid from his cheek to curve around the back of his neck. “We’ve talked enough for the time being. I have to get back to the farm soon, so… why don’t you kiss me goodbye?”

“I’m definitely not planning on dumping you…” Harvey managed, unable to say anything more articulate than that as she pulled him to her.

#my fic #farmer aura #stardew harvey #breathe with me

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that-sw-writer · 4 years ago

Note

Omg plz write a part 2 of Hux’s sister

Ask and ye shall receive!

PART ONE

Word count: 2272

Warnings: none, but again just a bit of a crack fic

Sibling Rivalry II

"What's that?" Armitage asked, in a judgemental tone.

"What's what?" You innocently replied.

"That." He pointed towards your neck, where you knew there was an inconcealable hickey sitting just below your jawline.

"You know exactly what that is Armitage, or would you rather I announce to the entire bridge that Supreme Leader Ren-"

"No. That's quite enough." He hastily interrupted you, the bitterness evident in his tone.

It had been almost a year since you transferred to The Supremacy, and a lot had changed in that time. Namely, Supreme Leader Snoke had died in... mysterious circumstances, and Kylo Ren had taken his place - much to your brother's dismay. You were the only person who Ren had trusted with the truth: that he had been the one to kill his ex-master. But you weren't complaining, dating the Supreme Leader certainly had its perks.

He allowed you to take his place as Commander, a job which required a lot less admin than being a Lieutenant. Plus, admittedly, you did tend to get away with missing deadlines more than the average First Order officer.

Whilst things had only gotten better for you, they had gone the opposite way for your brother. He spent his days expressing his hatred of Kylo to you, hoping that it would perhaps spur you to break up with him. But he was well aware that so long as the two of you were together, his life and job weren't at risk.

"Speak of the devil," Armitage grumbled under his breath as Ren walked onto the bridge, every officer in the vicinity immediately standing to attention. All except you and your brother who merely watched him as he approached.

"Be nice." You hissed, your attention immediately turning to Kylo as he approached you both.

"I need to talk to you." He addressed you, immediately giving your brother a pointed look which read 'leave us alone.'

With a reluctant sigh, Armitage said: "very well, I'm spending this evening with Millicent anyway."

After you had watched him depart, your gaze trailed back to Kylo, who forced himself to tear his own eyes away from the mark he had left on your neck.

"Who's Millicent?" He suddenly asked.

"His cat." You slowly replied, wondering why he cared.

Kylo let out a sharp, deep, laugh, "he has a cat? I thought it was a woman."

This time you let out a cackle, "a woman? All the times he said he was going to play with Millicent what the fuck did you think he meant?" You kept your voice down, away from prying ears.

"I just imagine that's how he speaks about women." He shrugged, but at that very moment, an idea hit you.

"Millicent... a woman." You muttered as the cogs turned in your brain, "his wife." You laughed as the idea formed.

"What?" Kylo looked at you, utterly confused.

"Nothing, just thinking of new ways to make Armitage's life difficult." You smirked, "anyway, what did you need to talk to me about?"

"I'll be off base for a while, I shouldn't be gone longer than two rotations." He told you, very matter-of-factly.

You nodded, quite used to watching him come and go on various missions. You knew that you would be the one coordinating things from aboard The Supremacy. "Okay, just stay safe." You told him, knowing that he absolutely wouldn't heed that warning - he never did.

"I will." He replied, just to keep your mind at ease. Leaning in, he captured your lips in a brief kiss, being Supreme Leader meant that he had grown tired of caring who knew about your relationship. Nobody had any power to stop him.

In Kylo's absence, you would simply have to distract yourself by spreading some completely untrue rumours about your brother around the base.

><><><><><><><><><

"Y/N..." You could hear the snarl in Armitage's voice as he pulled you aside on your way to the bridge.

"What can I do for you, Armitage?" You gave him an innocent grin, knowing exactly what had him so worked up.

"Tell me why when I speak about Millicent, people seem to think I'm referring to my wife." He snapped, and you stifled a laugh.

"I'm not sure, maybe you need to work on your communication skills. After all, constantly referring to her as Millicent rather than 'my cat' can be very misleading."

"The AS division are all calling me a 'toxic husband,' because I keep my wife locked up all day and night!" He exclaimed, the frustration evident in his tone at becoming a laughing stock. You cracked at that, a loud cackle escaping your lips. This gossip spreading truly couldn't have gone better.

"Amazing," you said as your laughter died down, "absolutely amazing."

Spreading that rumour had been easy, you had made a simple suggestion to Captain Phasma along the lines of 'isn't it so weird how General Hux always talks about this Millicent woman but nobody's ever seen her?' And from there, it had spread like wildfire.

With no contact from Kylo since he had left, investing yourself in spreading gossip at your brother's expense had been the perfect way to stop yourself from worrying. Besides, he was due back that very day, so the timing couldn't have been better.

After Armitage finished scolding you to no end, you both went to the bridge to receive an update from Kylo's team. Usually, he would contact you over the comms with the number of injured and deceased troopers so you could have the med-bay prepare accordingly. This mission had just been recon, so you weren't expecting any issues.

"Commander Hux, come in." A different voice spoke to you over the comms today, and you immediately wondered why it wasn't the Supreme Leader speaking to you.

"I'm here-" you responded, "go ahead." You didn't want to make a big fuss about Kylo not being the one to contact you, especially not with Armitage at your side - he would never let you hear the end of it.

"Despite complications, the mission was a success." The voice crackled over the comm.

"What complications?" Your heart involuntarily started racing as your mind thought of every worst-case scenario.

"They knew we were coming ma'am and we were met with heavy fire, but we managed to escape. Plenty of minor injuries, two will need medical attention, and one deceased." He formally spoke, but you were barely listening anymore. Kylo not having been in touch was worrying enough, but this was the icing on the cake. You simply turned to Armitage, and he could read your expression, so he took over.

"This is General Hux. We will prepare the med-bay." He curtly said, cutting the comm off before you could ask the question plaguing your mind.

"It won't be him." Your brother said, "as much as I wish it would be." He then grumbled, which was met by a hard elbow from you.

"But what if it is?" You stressed, "he usually contacts me, but this time I've heard nothing!"

"Just... sit down." He suggested, unsure of what else to say. Part of Armitage was praying that Ren was the one casualty on the mission, but he also didn't want his little sister to have her heart broken. Truly a catch-22 for him.

"No, I'm not 'sitting down,' Armitage!" You exclaimed, beginning to pace. "I'll tell you what, if he walks off that transport as if nothing has happened then I'm going to make him the second casualty of the mission for stressing me out like this."

"I think you're being a bit dramatic." He tried to console you.

"You're only saying that because you're praying that he's not coming back." You grumbled.

"That's a fair accusation." He admitted, "but as much as it pains me to say, I know Ren means a lot to you, even if I can't begin to fathom what you see in him." At this point he was practically speaking through gritted teeth - Maker out of everyone in the First Order his sister could have fallen for, it had to be his arch-nemesis.

"I'm going to go and tell the med-bay to prepare." You huffed before leaving the bridge. You needed to distract yourself from this pit of worry that was opening up in your stomach. Surely you were just overthinking things, but considering the circumstances, you couldn't help yourself. Part of you hated how much you cared about Kylo because you didn't like feeling this dependent on him.

Just to try and help lift your mood you were sure to perpetuate the rumour about your brother and Millicent on your way down to the med-bay. A group of troopers had been quietly discussing whether there was any truth behind it or not, and as the General's sister it was your solemn duty to confirm the rumour

"Yeah it's crazy, Millicent is my sister in law and I don't think I've seen her since the wedding." You whispered to them as you went by, trying your best not to break out into laughter on the spot. If anything was going to take your mind off worrying about Kylo, it was definitely going to be making Armitage's life just that bit more miserable.

Whilst you were on your way to tell the med-bay to prepare, Armitage was left on the bridge, which meant that when the ship returned from the mission he begrudgingly had to go to the hanger to greet them instead of you.

As the boarding ramp lowered he found himself genuinely wondering if Ren was going to be the singular casualty. He knew he was being ridiculous thinking it, but your panicking had clouded his judgement a bit.

To Armitage's dismay, but likely your relief, Kylo was the first person to leave the craft. He looked filthy, a few cuts littering his face and his robes dirtied from battle. The Supreme Leader was used to seeing you when he returned from a mission, and being greeted by your brother left him with a scowl on his face.

"What are you doing here?" He grumbled.

"Lovely to see you alive Supreme Leader." Armitage sneered in response, "although if you don't talk to my sister soon I doubt you'll be alive much longer."

"Spare me the empty threats General, we both know you couldn't kill me if you tried." He waved his hand in dismissal as he walked past Armitage.

"Perhaps. But this time it's not me you need to be worried about." He called after Kylo, who turned around with his brow furrowed.

"Y/N?" He knew that perhaps not contacting you for the entire duration of the mission wasn't his best idea, and now he was already regretting it.

"She's not happy." Your brother plainly responded as he walked back towards Ren.

"Has she got those brow lines she gets when she's angry?"

"She'll most definitely have them when she finds out you're alive." Armitage grimaced, "I'd tread carefully if I was you."

"Fuck." Kylo swore under his breath when he saw you approaching.

Now stood next to Ren, Armitage whispered up to him, "whatever you do, just don't make her any angrier for both of our sakes."

"You-" your finger was immediately pointing directly in Kylo's face as you stormed over, "you're going to be the death of me, you know that? I hear nothing from you, then suddenly there's a casualty on the mission! But here you are as if nothing happened."

"I'm sorry." He said. Openly apologising was such a rarity for Kylo that it made you stop dead in your tracks.

"Come again?" You couldn't quite believe your ears.

"I said I'm sorry. I should have contacted you." He was so calm that you found your rage dissipating. Any kind of apology from Kylo was a victory.

"Then I guess you're off the hook." Your expression now changing to a more teasing one.

"What?" Armitage exclaimed, "you can't let him off that easily!"

"Why not?" You raised an eyebrow at him, knowing that he was just hoping to keep you angry at Kylo for as long as possible.

"I don't know, you just can't!" He grumbled.

"Go and feed your wife Armitage, she's been alone all day." You said, purposely loudly so people would overhear you, and he immediately went red in the face.

"She's my cat!" He practically yelled the word but nevertheless went storming off. "One day you'll break up with him, mark my words!" He called as he departed, giving up on caring who was around to hear.

"At this rate Armitage, he's more likely to become your brother in law!" You knew there were absolutely no plans of marriage, but you couldn't miss the opportunity for humour.

Kylo snorted from beside you, "I doubt we'd do much family bonding."

"He'd probably try and kill you in your sleep." You laughed.

"'Try' being the key word." Kylo paused for a moment before he pulled you into his arms, but before he kissed you he paused, "his cat being his wife?"

"I got bored, spread a rumour, the usual." You shrugged, before leaning in to close the gap between your lips. You didn't care that he was dirtied from his mission, you were just relieved to have him back.

"And another thing-" Armitage interrupted you both as he stormed back over, no doubt with a witty insult to hurl at Ren. Your lips parted so you could both stare it him with deadpan expressions, whereas he just looked disgusted. "Why do you insist on these displays in public? I don't want to see it."

"All the more reason to do it." Kylo smirked and pulled you back in for a kiss.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren x y/n #armitage hux #hux

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puckluck28 · 4 years ago

Text

A Merry Upstead Christmas!

This one is for my lovely Chicago PD Secret Santa recipient @upsteadhc for the prompt: “any prompt from an angst or fluff list” so I figured what’s better than an Upstead pregnancy oneshot. A little bit of angst, a little bit of fluff, I hope you enjoy it! Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season!

*The prompts I’ve used are highlighted in bold.

For Better or For Worse, Even When Pregnant

Hailey glanced at their front from her spot on the couch in their dimly lit living room before checking the time on her phone for what felt like the hundredth time. At reading the numbers that read 1:28 AM plastered over her background that was a photo of her and Jay from their gender reveal party a few months ago, she sighed and took another sip from her now semi-cold tea. Fighting the urge to close her eyes with each passing moment, she’d been hoping for a voice mail, a quick text, something, anything that would give her enough relief so she could at least attempt to sleep, but there was nothing, and the wait was driving her crazy. Since their last call, there was an uncomfortable feeling eating at her insides, something in the pit of her stomach that had been growing for a few days, and she knew it wasn’t just her nerves growing from being only a week away from her due date. She’d gotten this same feeling a few times in the past few years, and she prayed to God that this time wasn’t like those other times.

Where the hell are you, Jay?

The unit had caught a big case a week ago: a dead pregnant girl that led the team to an international human and child trafficking ring smuggling young girls from all around the world into the States, forcing them to get pregnant, and selling the babies to God knows what kind of people. It was an understatement to say it was a rough case, even for Intelligence’s standards, and from the limited information Hailey knew about it from her lunch dates with Jay at the precinct, and the occasional calls and visits from Kim and Vanessa so Hailey wouldn’t actually lose her mind staying at home, it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park to solve.

On a regular night, Hailey wouldn’t worry about Jay staying late to go over evidence or to work on paperwork, especially while they were working a new case, but this time felt different. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something about the way Jay had been especially quiet at home the past few days, those days that he had actually made it home before Hailey went to bed. It was almost as if he had been trying to avoid her, and successfully so. Then there were his texts: one word answers after taking forever to respond, that was if he responded. It wasn’t like she was expecting immediate responses or constant texting either. She knew that whenever a big case, especially something this big hit, it was all hands on deck with no room for distraction, but she at least expected a response, any response, when she asked if he’d be coming home for dinner, or if he was okay.

Now, having been partners with Jay for seven years, dated for two of those and married for one, Hailey could tell when a case, or someone, was irking him. So when he had started acting a little off the first time, she had given it to the combination of the caseload and having to work with a new partner now that she was officially on maternity leave, and done with desk duty, as per Voight and Platt’s orders. Jay’d been looking to find something to complain about his new partner from the day Voight had brought in Detective Aiden Thomas, a freshly minted detective from narcotics, as Hailey’s temporary replacement. Whether it was the way the young detective tabbed evidence files or the way he sipped his coffee during stakeouts, Jay found an excuse to text her, whining about being stuck with the new kid. So when the texts got more staggered and eventually stopped, Hailey had started getting suspicious and when she hit absolute radio silence the entire day that day, with no luck during the night either, Hailey knew it was time to call in back-up.

Around 10:00pm or so, Will had been the first person on her call list, not wanting to alert anyone on the team just yet if the older Halstead could reassure her enough to get that sleep she oh so craved. It also helped that she knew that Will was on call that night, him having shared his work schedule with Hailey since she was so close to her due date and who knew where Jay would be if she went into labor. Unlike his younger brother, Will had picked up Hailey’s call in two short rings. “Hailey? What’s up? Are you okay? Is it the baby?” He had asked in doctor mode.

“Yea, we’re good. I was calling to see if you heard anything from Jay today?”

“Jay? He was here this morning to talk to an injured suspect but that’s about it.”

“Did you realize anything off with him?”

“Not that I could tell. He and his new partner were in and out. I didn’t even see them leaving.” Hailey sighed in defeat at her brother-in-law’s response. She had really hoped he would say something that would ease her growing nerves. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yea, yea things are fine.” Hailey took a deep breath. “I just haven’t heard from him the whole day and he hasn’t come home yet and…” Her voice trailed off as her words died.

“I can-”

“No, that’s alright.” She cut him off, turning down his offer. “I don’t want him to worry if they are working.”

“You sure?”

“Yea, knowing Jay, he’ll think I’m in labor or something and freak out.” She attempted at a joke to hide her worry.

“You know, it would teach him not to ignore his pregnant wife.” That even earned a soft chuckle from Hailey.

“Thanks, Will. It’s not even that late, I’m sure it’s just me being paranoid.” She tried brushing it off. “You know how much I love staying home all day.”

“Don’t I know it?” Will went along even though he knew that for Hailey to be calling him, she must have a good reason to worry. “You and Jay are the worst people at enjoying doing nothing.”

“Yea, I’m ready to go back to work once your niece finally graces us with her presence.” She told him, her hands instinctively rubbing her 38, almost 39, week along belly at the thought of finally getting to meet her baby.

“I’d be careful wishing on that this close to your due date, Hailey. It might happen any day now.” He jokingly warned her, hoping he was providing some comfort with this distraction.

“I think it’s safe to say when it happens, you’ll be one of the first ones to know. I guess the first one to know if it happens during this call.” Hailey responded, though the only thing she could think of as silence fell was what she’d do if she were to go into labor now and Jay was nowhere to be found.

“Regardless, you know I’m here if you need me.” Will broke the silence.

“Thanks, Will. I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Alright, but seriously, call me if you need anything. I’ll be up all night.”

“I will. Thanks, again. Good luck with your shift.”

“Any time. Now stop worrying about that knucklehead and try to get some sleep.” Will jokingly ordered and with a mumble of agreement, Hailey hung up. Sleep… She really hoped she’d be able to get a little bit of it that night.

She’d given him about an hour after calling Will, called and texted a few times, but when those had gone unanswered once again, she’d moved to the next person on her list and called Kim, really hoping that they were really just working late and she wasn’t waking her up. “Hey, Hails, everything okay?” Like Will, Kim picked up the call in a few rings. It was almost as if everyone who knew Hailey was on call to answer her calls except for her husband.

“Hey, sorry I’m calling so late. Am I interrupting anything?”

“No, no, actually Kev just came back from a coffee run so I was taking a break.” Kim answered, followed by a yawn.

“Case wearing you down?”

“It’s a bad one. We found two of our suspects, who of course didn’t go down without a fight. One of them took a bullet to the knee so we are waiting for Med to release him into our custody when he’s done and the other’s downstairs.” Another yawn. “But looks like it’s gonna be a rough night. Well, I guess morning.”

“Everyone okay?” Hailey asked after hearing that their suspect had put up a fight. If he had gotten shot, it meant that he had started the shooting, and her heart started racing thinking all the worst case scenarios. Surely she would have been notified if something serious had happened to Jay, but with the way he had been so distant lately, maybe that had been it: he had gotten injured and was avoiding her calls.

“Everyone’s good, came out without a scratch.” Hailey released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Hey, is everything okay with you?” Kim asked upon hearing Hailey’s loud exhale of breath. “Oh my god are you in labor?”

“No, everything’s good here. No baby just yet.” She answered quickly, getting that out of the way. “I was calling to see if Jay’s around. I’ve tried calling him a few times but his phone kept going to voicemail, but I guess you guys are busy so I’ll let you go.”

“Ummm, Hails, Jay left a while ago.”

“Oh?” Kim’s answer took Hailey by surprise, an unpleasant one. She lost her train of thoughts and stuttered as she tried finding the words to ask her next question. “Did he- umm, did he say where he was going?”

“No, sorry. We all figured he was gonna go home and get some sleep. It’s been a rough day for him.”

“What happened? Is he okay?” It felt weird to not know that Jay’d had a rough day. It felt weird being the one to ask what was happening with him.

“One of the suspects we caught turned out to be ex-military. Someone Jay knew back in the day.” Kim told her. “I think Jay was hoping the lead would turn out to be bogus since his name came up a few days ago but…” The rest was obvious. Finding out an old buddy involved in such a disgusting case must have taken a toll on him, and understandably so. What Hailey couldn’t figure out was why he hadn’t talked to her about it, and the question hurt her more than she thought it would. “Jay must have gone on a drive or something. I’m sure he’s on his way home though.”

“Yea, yea, you’re right. I’ve probably just been losing my mind from having to stay home.” She tried laughing it off again, just like she had done it with Will, but this new found

“Oh, tell me about it! A few days is enough to drive you insane.” Kim commented, as bittersweet it was, remembering having to stay back during her short lived pregnancy so many years ago.

“Oh yea.” Hailey tried acting her usual chipper self but the fake smile plastered on her face failed to reach her voice. “Anyway, I should let you enjoy your break.”

“You sure everything’s okay?”

“Yea, yea, everything’s fine. I’m getting pretty tired anyway and you guys are busy.” She added a fake yawn to her sentence which made Kim yawn as well. “Thanks for the conversation.”

“You want one of us to drop by? I know Kevin’s about to head home for a quick nap and-”

“No, that’s fine.” Hailey cut her friend off before she could finish the sentence. “It’s pretty late.”

“Alright, well Adam, V and I are gonna be staying here tonight if you need anything. Just give us a call, alright?”

“Thanks, Kim. I really appreciate it. Enjoy your break and good luck!”

“Good night, Hails.” The line went dead, leaving Hailey to her thoughts, wondering where her husband was, worst case scenarios running through her head. The last time he had gone awol, he’d gotten kidnapped, shot and almost died. She couldn’t go through that again. Not now. Not when they were about to have it all. With tears in her eyes, Hailey swore he would never forgive Jay if he left them alone.

About another hour or so later, the clock almost hitting three in the morning, Hailey was just about ready to give up, go to bed. She was exhausted, achy, and really, all she wanted was to know that Jay was safe. They could deal with this, whatever it was, in the morning. Hell she didn't even care if it meant that he’d continue avoiding her, and she’d have to wobble to the precinct in her pajamas. That being said, she knew sleep was her enemy tonight and the moment she would decide to go to bed, the oh so tempting sleep that had been trying to pull her into dreamland would disappear the moment her head’d hit the pillow. Not that sleep was really an option with their daughter kicking up a storm in her belly either.

“It’s okay, munchkin.” Hailey rubbed the spot she kept feeling the kicks. “It’s all gonna be okay.” Realizing she had no tea left, she threw her blankets off and stood up to stretch. If she was going to stay up, she needed to keep herself otherwise occupied. “Let’s get mommy some tea and you some of those cookies you crave so much.”

Hailey was about to head to the kitchen to get herself another cup of tea and get a snack when the sound of the door opening startled her. Her head instinctively turned towards the source of the noise, and watched frozen as Jay’s silent silhouette moved in the foyer. She held her breath as her eyes followed his every move: The way he snuck into his own house, the way he took his jacket and shoes off as quietly as possible, thinking Hailey was already asleep, the way he tiptoed further into the dark house. Watching his arm reach for living room light switch, Hailey prepared herself to face their current situation, and when the lights turned on, bringing the couple face to face, a loud silence surrounded them. “Hails? Why are you awake? Everything okay? Is it the baby?” Jay listed his questions, alarmed.

“Yea, yea we are fine but I guess I should be the one asking you that.” Hailey shot back, needing him to know that what happened today was NOT okay. “What’s going on, Jay?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’m fine.” He gave her his staple bullshit of an answer as he walked further in and towards her in the living room. “Just a long day at work.”

“Well, I know for a fact you’re not “fine”, so wanna try again?” Hailey crossed her arms over her chest, her words stopping him on his tracks to walk over to greet her.

“I-” He started but seemed to be at a loss of words.

“Jay, I’m worried about you.” She cut him off at the realization that he needed a push before he’d really open up. “You haven’t picked up your phone or answered any of my texts and I had to find out from Kim that you had a rough day. What’s going on?”

“Hails, I’m just really tired and just want to go to sleep.” He was hiding behind an excuse, but at least it was an honest one, and Hailey considered that a good start.

“Alright, if that’s what you want, we can go to bed. I’m glad you’re safely home.” She told him with a flat yet soft tone. She didn’t want to discourage him from opening up, but his actions had terrified and hurt her, and she couldn’t just pretend that it was all fine now that he was home. “But we are gonna talk about this, Jay.” She added, letting him know he wasn’t off the hook. “What happened today, the radio silence… The last time that happened, I almost lost you and the thought of losing you, especially while I can’t even be out there,” The memory of what Angela Nelson put them through hitting her straight in the pregnancy hormones and feelings, she could feel tears welling in her eyes, but she wouldn’t cry. She refused to. “It, it terrified me,” She looked down her body in an attempt to avoid his eyes and blink away the tears as she protectively put both her hands on her bulging belly. “It terrified us.” She sighed. “We, we have to talk about it.”

“I can’t do anything right, can I?” Jay muttered more to himself than Hailey, disappointed in himself. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew he shouldn’t have pushed Hailey away, but this case, these past few days, then what happened in the morning… It had brought up so many painful memories, so much rage, so much fear that he simply hadn’t known where to start. “You must hate me for what I put you through today, huh?”

“I don’t hate you, Jay. I will never hate you.” Hailey’s voice softened. “But I hate that after all this, you’re still trying to lie to me.”

“Hails…”

“Yes, Jay?”

“This case has been terrifying.” He started to confess. “When we found that pregnant girl, the way her body was left behind, all I could think of was you and what I would do if I found you like that.” He was finally opening up. “Then we found out that one of the suspects is an old army buddy of mine and when we interviewed him today…” He shook his head, the memory of the interrogation room replaying in his mind and he collapsed on the couch in defeat. “He looked me in the eyes and said “You’d make pretty babies. Should consider changing careers.” with the smuggest smile, and Hailey, the things I wanted to do to him for bringing our kid into it… And then all my anger turned into this fear of failing you and Aislyn and, God, Hailey, it paralyzed me. I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“Jay,” She got it. She really did, but the silence and distance had hurt. “Holding everything in doesn’t help you know.” She told him as she walked over to take a seat next to him and put a supportive hand on his back. “Why didn’t you tell me what was happening?”

“I know I should have.” He looked at her with tear sheathed eyes, his greens tired and broken. “I mean I know I could have come to you. I trust you more than I ever trust myself, but I didn’t want to worry you especially with how close you are to your due date. It felt like by burdening you with my worries, I’d be failing you two before we even became parents.”

“I understand, Jay, but not knowing what was going on with you and having to call our friends and family only to find out from Kim that you’ve been having a rough time with this case worried me so much. I felt like an outsider and not your wife and best friend.” She took a deep breath, giving Jay some time to process her words. “Your worries and fears and rage will never be a burden on me, Jay. We said for better or for worse when we said I do. Being pregnant doesn’t change that.”

“God, I love you and I’m so damn sorry.” Jay pulled Hailey into his body and apologized with a broken voice upon realizing how much he had hurt her. The last thing he wanted to do had been to hurt her, but he realized trying to not be a burden was more hurtful to their partnership than anything. “I promise I’ll do better.”

“I know you will.” Hailey snuggled into his embrace before turning in his arms to be able to look him in the eyes again. “I love you, Jay.” She cupped his cheek in her one hand, and grabbed and guided his hand to rest over her belly with her other. “We love you. Unconditionally. Just remember that the next time you feel overwhelmed and I’m not there.” Feeling their daughter’s kicks under their palms, Jay leaned down to press a kiss on her lips; a kiss meant to seal his promise, to show his love, to give them both hope that they were stronger for facing their challenges.

Their last few days had really taken a toll on both of them, but with everything out in the open now, and promises of love and hope had been made, they knew they could tackle anything as long as they trusted in each other, even when they didn’t trust themselves.

So when they finally got into bed, tightly holding one another close, their daughter’s soft movements between them, they finally got the relieved rest they had been needing that day.

- @puckluck28

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