#He has passed the hardest vibe check test around as a man

[mrfoox]

Second time my cats met Tor and they were like... Friendly af imo

[tsuchinokoroyale]

Genuinely nonjudgmental ask: Does having unprotected sex ever make you nervous? Have you ever had an STI? I just opened up my relationship with my boyfriend, so I immediately got on PrEP. I still have been using condoms when I’m fucking with anyone that’s not my partner, but I’ve gotten skeptical responses from every guy when I bring up wearing them. I just want to protect myself and my bf from other STIs. I’m considering lying and saying that I’m not on PrEP just to get less pushback. Again, this is not a judgmental ask. I’ve just been out of the game for years, and it seems like the rules have changed!

There are 3 things I’ve always used to protect myself against STI’s:

1. Trust in your fellow man

2. DDF? Tested?

3. The Vibe Check

The first two are basically wet tissue paper level defense, but it’s basically the idea that someone who has the symptoms of an STD/knows they have one wouldn’t willingly go out and spread it. But some STI’s are communicable before they are detectable or symptomatic so they’re honestly weaker than wet tissue it’s more like semi-permeable membrane levels of protection.

I bank the hardest on the last one, which does employ a little bit of judgement but it’s my health so I do what I want to. I prefer to have sex with people that are selective with their partners, people that either don’t sleep around much because they have a primary partner or because they prefer fwb situations. Of note, its important that they mention that they still get tested frequently.

Most one night stands I have I’ll use protection unless they pass the vibe check so hard that my bottom instincts override my better senses and I need their DNA inside me.

Which leads me to

“The Backseat Sloppy Incident”

I had a fwb situation at one point with a friend who had recently become single. He hadn’t topped anyone since he broke up with his boyfriend, it’s been a few months, he didn’t really like hook ups, and of course he made me laugh and had a very shapely shape during sweatpants season. We hung out one night and I very coolly said “hey why aren’t we having sex with each other” and he was like “huh good point” and then we fixed that.

And then it suddenly started to burn when he peed.

We both freaked out and got tested. It was Gonorrhea. We both got our shots in the butt, or really he got two shots in his butt and I got ONE MASSIVE SHOT THAT HURT LIKE ALL HELL and when that was done I was back to taking his loads like I was a laundry machine.

But there was still the question of: How did he get it ?

See I tested negative for gonorrhea. I had em swab everything and test for everything but only he came back positive. I was completely clean.

We puzzled over this many a time because the only time he did anything was when he picked up a Tinder date from the train station who gave him head in the backseat of his car as thanks. He’d told me this had happened as well, to which I said “Damn instead of saying thank you I’m just gonna start giving backseat sloppy from now on”

But that had happened like a month prior. STIs can have a rather lengthy incubation period but a month is pretty long. And I won’t have any character assassination of this boy, I trust him with my life and he honestly still owns this hole if he didn’t live so far away but anyways the point is you truly just never know.

I haven’t had an STI as of yet, but I’m sure that’s mostly just luck. I’ve put myself in seedy situations and come out clean, and the closest I’ve come to catching an STI was a situation where I thought for sure it wouldn’t be an issue. Keep watch over your body, take ya meds, get tested frequently, and always use a condom unless you’re either 100% sure you don’t need one or you’re ready to reckon with any consequences that come your way. Anyone that gets pissy about you using condoms is being a brat who doesn’t respect your health boundaries. And what do we say to sleeping with people who don’t respect your boundaries?

🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️

[sakiyo]

COOKING WITH THEM

[HEADCANONS]

how would late night/early morning cooking would go with atsumu, osamu, sakusa and suna

contains: food, mention of w33d <33, dirty jokes

genre: fluff

OSAMU MIYA

this man never passes up the opportunity to cook with you

he totally got you guys matching aprons for this moment

anyways, he’s basically a cooking GOD so cooking with him goes relatively smooth

relatively because you and osamu make your own secret recipes and have a makeshift recipe book

so you’re always trying new things and it’s basically either a hit or miss

hit being that it’s the best thing ever to come out of the oven/pan/pot

or it’s a complete mess and tastes like last weeks gradually rotting leftovers

“i think there’s an eggshell in this..”

“i knew we screwed up somewhere.”

“too much spice!”

sometimes when neither of you can sleep, you both start cooking a light meal in the middle of the night.

but then it just ends up getting burnt because you both decided to fall asleep when it was in the oven

he has a ‘KISS THE COOK :*’ apron and wears it religiously

he’s always shirtless when wearing it, and has grey sweats on to match (ugh yes samu ur such a meal‼️)

there’s also an unspoken rule that you have to kiss him when he’s wearing the apron, so he wears it all the time to steal a smooch from ya <3

“well would ya look at that, i’m wearin the apron, y’know what that means?”

“it means that you’re taking advantage of that apron, ‘samu.”

“guilty~”

atsumu is always your test subject for trying you and osamu’s creations, but sometimes you both purposely screw up just to get a reaction out of the blonde twin

ATSUMU MIYA

ok. atsumu CAN cook...he just...doesn’t.

cut him some slack, he’s a pro volleyball player that probably eats out a bunch most of the time

but once the two of you moved in together he definitely made an effort to cook homemade meals more

he’s definitely not osamu, but he can totally make basic ones

however, the one time that the two of you had decided to try something out of your comfort zone...

atsumu started a fire and the fire department had to come

“do ya smell something...”

“jesus christ atsumu you’re burning the eggs!”

“i thought ya were watching it!”

“you put too much oil, dumbass!”

so pretty much, now the idea of cooking together is pretty much just YOU cooking the food and atsumu handing you the ingredients and chopping up vegetables

when you guys decide to make a meal at like 2 am, it’s good vibes only‼️❌⭕️💢

literally you’re sitting on the counter top and atsumu is trapped between both your legs and you’re playing with his hair while he’s scrolling through his phone as you wait for the water to boil

sometimes you end up sharing a few kisses, which leads to the water spilling out of the pot and unto atsumu’s leg

“yer so pretty at night- OW, FUCK!”

“oh my god atsumu get away i need to check the water-“

while you’re cooking he sneaks up behind you, wraps his arms around your waist and drapes his head on your shoulders

always expect some mellow or soft music (the go to is Easily by Bruno Major) while cooking at night!

while the songs play, sometimes you and atsumu dance together around the kitchen

in the end, the food usually sucks, and atsumu won’t waste a second telling you that.

“i’m not going to lie, this sucks.”

KIYOOMI SAKUSA

this man...

he IS mr. perfect pretty much.

cooking??? he’s got it on lock he can do it all

i personally see sakusa as someone who just doesn’t like to give up easily, so he would definitely try to recreate as many dishes until it turned out properly

honestly, his idea of cooking with you at first was him cooking, and you sitting a fair distance away from the kitchen

and this is just because he’s used to throwing it down in the kitchen by himself

but overtime hes warmed up to you and you both cook together, of course while being marginally clean

sakusa absolutely loves making foreign foods because they challenge him

whenever he flies internationally for leisure or volleyball, he always comes back with at least one cookbook

whenever the two of you have time, you try to finish the recipes in the cookbooks

sakusa always finds it adorable when you struggle to keep up with him (since you aren’t the best at making foreign dishes) and he always finds a way to tease you about it

“you can’t even follow simple instructions,y/n? that’s pretty embarrassing.”

“shut yer trap! i’m trying my hardest!”

sakusa would just laugh and proceed to continuing cooking, leaving you a flustered and embarrassed mess <3

sakusa ain’t too big on pda in the kitchen, because you’re cooking and it can wait

the most he’ll do is wrap his hands around your waist as you both wait for the food

cooking with you can also sometimes be sakusa worst nightmare

you tend to get messy sometimes, you’re never seen without a stain on the side of your face

“you’re so messy, clean up the counter.”

while you’re a giggling fit, sakusa is veryyyy unamused

and he certain isn’t laughing when you purposely get him messy with a stain or two

while he just stares at you in shock, you take this as your cue to bolt and start running for your life cuz baby, he’s comin ‼️🗣

so basically, half of your cooking sessions end up with you getting chased by a flour-clad sakusa kiyoomi around the kitchen

but in the end, you’re always met with amazing food

SUNA RINTARO

suna.

he CAN cook.

but it doesn’t mean he’s good at it.

if it was possible, he would definitely burn water

although he’s usually attentive, he can get super absent minded when it comes to cooking, cause it’s borin and his phone is more important ‼️

like atsumu, suna’s idea of cooking together is once again, YOU cooking, and him stealing bits of food from the pots and pans

“this one tastes really good. we’re so talented babe.”

“we? you were sitting on your ass and i was cooking...but yeah, we’re talented.”

you learned your lesson to NEVER ask suna to cook for you...

when you had asked him to make you breakfast, he had made himself at home in the kitchen, acting as if he was about to bring out a 5-star meal

“you’re going to love this one, babe.”

he really presented a slightly BURNT piece of toast with butter on it, and a glass of water with a shittily cut slice of lemon to go with

“viola, babe, dig in”

“how on earth did you even burn the damn toast.”

he also offered bring you breakfast in bed, and you were met with a half cooked plate of scrambled eggs with half the eggshells in it

“suna...did you even let it cook?”

long story short...baby do better‼️

he’s literally so annoying you ask him what he feels like eating and says ‘you’ as if he’s doing the most 🙄

now you’re just completely convinced that suna cannot cook for the life of him, which is kinda true

but you’d be surprised at how he suddenly turned into a cooking god when it came to baking edibles

sometimes he goes all out, making you wear a coat, goggles and shit

“edibles are delicate and must be handled property.”

“so you’ve become a scientist, suna?”

he gets really into it when making edibles

it’s you and him time, so no electronics in the kitchen! just you, him, and some urban music playing as you wait for the edible cookies, brownies and rice krispies to finish baking

both of you are on the floor in front of the oven, backs against the counter while you just talk to each other

sometimes, if you’re both feeling affectionate enough, you’ll sit in between his legs and rest across his chest

and when the edibles are done, you get absolutely zooted (responsibly of course)

gen taglist: @bokukiyoom

also thank you to viru baby for helping me with these headcanons ily babe!!

*send an ask to be added to general taglist

[canaryatlaw]

alright, let’s get going with this. Today was fine, not particularly exciting, but it was my last day of classes, potentially for the rest of my life, so that’s something at least. I woke up to my alarm at 11:10, ten minutes earlier than usual because I wanted to do my make up and look nice for my last day. Got ready, walked to the train, and took it down to school. Dumped stuff in the PAD office then went up to class. It was all review, so we went over some topics and example questions, and how to best answer them. I’m not particularly worried about this final because it’s in a class I do actually have interest in and paid more attention to than my other classes, plus it’s open book/notes, and I’m just generally good at answering essay questions on tests, I just get going and I’ll just keep writing and writing. And I did really well on the midterm for this class (it was when the prof was like “I graded it out of 8, most everyone got 6′s, but if you said something really brilliant and mind blowing you might have gotten a 7″ and of course when I opened my envelope the assignment was in there was a big 7 on the top, so that was encouraging) so I’m feeling pretty good about this one. After class I went back to the PAD office and decided to focus on Remedies for a bit since I had my last class for that tonight. It’s not in the bar review books, but I was able to get a pretty solid outline from the PAD outline bank, it was from a class with another professor, but honestly it’s just the basic concepts it’s really not gonna differ that much. It was set up in a format so that I could largely copy and paste from it onto my flashcards, so that helped on time. But yeah, I worked on it from like 2:30 to 5, and I got through 14 pages of the outline (out of 24 total) and 156 flashcards done, so that was good. I grabbed a slice of pizza from the little market place that just moved in next to the school because I wasn’t feeling a salad today, lol. Went to Remedies, it was a pretty good class period, we did finish up on some stuff then went to review. There was a really funny moment when the prof was talking about what the test would consist of and he accidentally said “33 essay questions” instead of 33 multiple choice questions” and we pretty much all died of laughter. I also raised my hand at one point, because I mean, I knew the answer so why not, and I probably haven’t raised my hand in that class in like, 6 weeks (it was hard to pay attention during the LOT season because I’d end up glued to twitter for the hour), and the prof like, flipped out and was so happy I raised my hand lol it was sweet, and he was like “you know, I like you” which is always nice to hear. That’s gonna be my one closed book final, which is fine, I think I can get enough of that info in my brain to be able to regurgitate it onto a final. it’s also nice that my final dates are in the same order of my confidence in classes, so my easiest one is first, then the middle, then the hardest, giving me more time to study for them, so that worked out well. We got out around 7:30 (an hour early) and I was home by 8:30. Decided I’d watch Supergirl, and I don’t think it was too bad really, the Kara/Mon-El stuff was mostly cringey (but what else is new) though at least she got to tell him off at one point, that was immensely satisfying to hear that she does at least know just how much of an asshole he had been. All the J’onn/Myr’nn (they keep changing the location of the hyphen in his name, from like M’yrnn to My’rnn to Myr’nn and its quite annoying) was sad of course, so that was kinda rough to watch. The Sam and Lena stuff I thought was pretty good though, there’s definitely something distinctly Luthor about keeping someone in a secret medical facility until you can find out what’s going on with them, and I mean I’m sure Lena did it with the best of intentions, but it’s something that I can totally see Lex doing too, maybe under different circumstances but still. Seeing Lena push Sam until she broke was hard, as was Sam’s meltdown afterwards, all of which was sooooo reminiscent of season 8 of Smallville with the Davis/Doomsday situation, with Lena now being in the place of Chloe trying to stop this from happening, even though it’s probably out of their control. Listening to Sam call Ruby and have to tell her she can’t visit her was rough though, honestly I’m at the point where Sam and Ruby are the only characters I even care about (I mean, maybe Lena sometimes, mostly because she can give me Tess Mercer vibes and I love Tess oh so much) because they’ve made most of the other characters either just not having a plot or making them super obnoxious. I still love Winn, but he really hasn’t had much to do this season. but yeah, overall not bad, so I’ll take it. After I finished that The Resident had finished recording, so I moved over to that. Man, what an episode. The pacing was very good, intermingling the hospital drama with the patient anecdotes with Dev in the ER. Things are obviously escalating very quickly in terms of going from “this doctor is giving too much chemo to patients” to “this doctor straight up murdered her patient to keep her quiet” quite quickly, but I mean that’s basically what happened so I guess we’ll have to deal with that now, though idk how they’re gonna go forward from here with Nic out of her job and Bell now the CEO. I found the fire storyline slightly amusing because afterwards they were like “what happened?” “the patient caught fire” like that’s something that happens all the time 😂 this show continues to make me extremely nervous about going into surgery for anything ever; when I was in the ER over spring break they were like “oh this surgeon is great, he has a lot of experience and is well regarded” and he walked in and had gray hair and I was like FUCK I’M GOING TO DIE 😂😂 but thankfully I was able to avoid getting cut open so I lived to see another day 😂. After the episode I watched the news for a few while I finished up a few things (mainly finishing scrolling through the tumblrs I check every day) then started getting ready for bed, and now I’m here. DV clinic tomorrow for my last shift for the time being, depending on what I end up doing over the next few months I might be able to pick up some shifts over the summer, but I know I do need to focus on bar prep, with the rule of thumb being 8 hours of studying a day for 6 weeks (literally a full time job) if you want to pass. So we’ll see how that plays out. and yeah, not a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be good, and then I’ll probably be in finals study mood for the next few weeks, when my finals start on May 2nd and go to May 9th, then I’ll be graduating on the 13th. It’s so close, but it feels so far away right now because it’s on the other side of 3 massive tests I have to pass to get there. It is so close though, and soon enough it will be here, just gotta get through these last few hurdles. Alright, I’m done talking for the night (on this blog at least, I’ll probably make a post on my personal after this). Goodnight dearies. Love you lots.