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flamingpudding · 1 year ago

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Fictober23 Prompt: 31 - "It's not your fault."

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: T

Warnings: -

A/N: Based on the setting created through Prompt 14 and its Reblogs. Not necessarily to read beforehand but it might give a little context. I tried to go with a more Halloween themed short story hope that worked out.

"Damian this mission has the highest priority any mission or case ever had before." Dick was clutching a glaring Damians shoulders who was now raising an eyebrow like his elder brother had lost his mind.

"Richard, this is ridiculous." He commented, crossing his arms.

"I am serious Dami, we can not fail with this." The elder stressed more. If it were any other situation than this then Damian might have taken Dick more seriously but as it was. His elder brother was pleading with him, dressed in a ridiculous Vampire outfit after having forced Damian into an outfit that was clearly a mockery towards his old league gear. It was a simple ninja costume Dick was making him wear.

"Please Dami! You don't want to get black listed for a month like Bruce or Tim, right? Jason is going to do this if we ruin their first Halloween in Gotham!" The younger's eyes narrowed.

"Do not place me on the same level as Drake. I will not lose any rights towards my nieces and nephews like he did." He huffed as he looked away stubbornly from his elder brother. Damian was not foolish enough to repeat the same mistakes some members of his family have made. He was not going to let his nephews even touch coffee or any caffeinated drink in the first place.

Besides the incident with Jasmine and their father was a whole different matter. It was their fathers own fault for unconsciously challenging his niece and disregarding her talent in analyzing one's mindset, Todd had mentioned once.

"I just want to make sure! Jason has become so protective of the kids and I do not want to lose favorit uncle's privileges!" Damian's eye twitched as he shoved away his elder brother with his hand placed in the other's face. "You must be delusional Richard. I seem to remember that I was the favorite uncle of the twins."

Before Dick could counter Damian the front door opened and the two saw Jason enter the manor with the crime twins on either side of him and the toddler in his arms. The second eldest raised an eyebrow at them before glancing down towards the twins.

"Hey Little Wing, right on time! Where is Jazz?" Dick greeted them cheerfully, bending down a little to wave at Ellie that was blowing a raspberry in his direction. He was probably imaging it but it looked like the little girl was glaring at him.

"Already dropped her off with her school friends, I will pick her up tomorrow afternoon. It's her sibling free day, remember?" Jason only raised an eyebrow also noting the frown the twins were sporting at seeing Dick.

Dick nodded, turning towards the twins. Did he imagine it or did one of the boy's whisper fruitloop to the other. "Ready for your first Trick or Treat in Gotham? We gotta collect all the candy for you two that we can!"

"Sure." Dick was hoping for more enthusiasm from the boy's but maybe that would come once they got their first candies bagged. "You two look interesting, what are you going as?"

"Frankenstein." The two answered simultaneously before glaring at each other and Dick sweatdropped. One of the boy's was dressed like a mad scientist with a white coat and welding goggles strapped to his head as well as some broken medical equipment clearly made visible. The other boy looked more like a monster with ripped clothing, fake bolds glued to his neck and drawn stitches all over his visible skin that was coloured slightly greenish.

"Wow you both did a good job! The monster looks just like in the movies." Dick tried in hopes

"I see. So Daniel is Doctor Frankenstein while Dante is Frankenstein's monster." The twins looked up towards Damian, the glare lost for a moment before they turned on each other again.

"See Uncle Dick said it! When someone says Frankenstein they think of the Monster, twerp!"

"Nuhu! Uncle Damian got it! He knew I was the Doctor and not the monster!"

"And Jazz just got them to stop arguing about that shit." Jason muttered with a glare towards Dick before the twins could devolve any further into their argument Jason stepped towards the side where Alfred had appeared and was heading over the now bubbling little girl that was making grabby hand towards the butler. He then turned towards the boys.

"Okay you two. Remember today's rules." He clapped his hand for more effect and to get the two to look at him. Which sort of worked as they still gave each other side eyed glares but nodded regardless. "Good and remember no crimes today, enjoy your fun and do not stuff yourself with candies."

"Okay Dad." The twins answered in sync before Jason literally pushed them towards Dick and Damian and out the Manors front door. They were the ones taking the twins out for a Trick or Treat run as their first Halloween in Gotham. Jason was going to hang back with Alfred to take care of Ellie.

Dick had volunteered doing this for his brother a couple weeks before Jason had wondered what he was going to do with the kids for Halloween. Dick had also instantly volunteered Damian for it two. Their youngest brother wasn't that much older than the twins yet and they surely would feel more comfortable with two known family members around.

An hour in and Dick was moments away from admitting that he made a grave mistake.

"Dami! Have you seen Danny?!" Jason was going to murder them if they lost one of his kids. So Dick was rightfully slightly panicked. He had taken his eyes of the boy for only a moment to check something on his phone.

"You have lost Daniel?" The youngest Wayne looked miffed at him and had a slight glare before though Dick noticed something else in his eyes too. "Damian, where is Dan?"

The younger clicked his tongue and Dick paled slightly. Okay no big deal, they temporarily lost the crime twin. He had found and followed Danny before, surely he would be able to find the boy in the crowd of disguised children too. Danny went with a mad scientist costume. How many of them were running around? It would be more difficult to find Dan, he had spotted a couple of different Frankensteins already.

"Jason is going to blacklist us, isn't he?" Dick muttered his eyes wandering over every child he could see going from door to door for candies. Damian doing the same even watching other adults and parents in case one of them had the idea to snatch his nephews from them.

"It won't be as bad as Drake and father." Damian commented as a form of consolation to his elder brother but knew it probably would. Jason blacklisted Tim from watching the kids for the caffeine incident for a month and their father was still blacklisted until Jazz felt like talking to the man again, the twins in solidarity to their sister doing the same.

"Should we split up? But what if they are looking for us? Oh good what if one of the rogues snatched them up? Or worse, some leftover guys from that damned organization?" From the corner of his eyes Damian saw how his elder brother was getting worked up and even though he wasn't showing it, he too was worried. This certainly was not how they had hoped the boy's first Halloween with them would go.

In a decorative street tree on the side of the path Dick and Damian were on sat two boy's one munching on a licorice stick while the other was nibbling on chocolate. Both were invisible just in case their uncle decided to look up.

"Fake blood next?" Danny asked as he watched Dick starting to pace.

"Not yet. Did Dad mention anything about the firecrackers?" Dan asked in return as he bite of another piece of his licorice stick.

"Not that I remember, tho Jazz said to go easy on Uncle Dick." Danny hummed tilting his head slightly with a frown. "But he lost that privilege looking like the fruitloop. You got one of Dad's fake guns right?"

"Why? Didn't you say you wanted to 'fake' stab yourself with the broken syringe?" Dan raised an eyebrow as Danny gave him a feral grin. "You recovered your shape shifting power, right?"

Dan returned the feral grin with one of his own understanding what kind of prank Danny was hinting at. "For once, I like the way you're thinking, twerp."

"Would you stop calling me that! We are the same age now!" Danny pouted as he stuffed the last of his chocolate in his mouth and prepared to jump off the tree.

"Never!" Dan quickly answered with a laugh as he took the lead and jumped off the tree and disappeared into the crowds first as he let go of his invisibility. Danny quickly followed doing the same. They had after all a lot more pranks planned to play on their uncles.

The evening ended with Dick and Damian making their way into the Manor through the bat cave entrance so that they could get to the Medbay before Jason saw the twins. Both looked rather disheveled and like they had gotten dragged through mud. What they didn't expect was Jason, being in the cave and looking at them with raised eyebrows. Dick was holding Dan who was literally growling as Dick was pressing a bundle of tissues against the boy's nose. There was a ripped strip of his vampire costume tied around Dan's arm, a line of dried 'blood' going down the arm.

Damian was holding Danny. The boy looked dizzy, holding his head with one hand while he whined about everything being to bright, the goggles of his costume were cracked and the white coat now had red 'blood' strains, the shirt he was wearing also appeared to be soaked in 'blood' and there was a tried spot of blood below Danny's nose like he also had had a nose bleed like his twin.

"What happened?" Jason's tone sounded neutral and Dick laughed nervously.

"It looks worse than it is…" He tried to salvage, maybe they could still save their nephew watching privileges.

"Really?"

"It's Richard's fault. He lost sight of Danny first." Dicks head whipped around towards Damian who just decided to throw him under the bus. A look of betrayal crossed the eldest face at the narrowed stare Damian was giving him. "The situation spiraled from there."

"No wait! Damian lost Dan! It's not just my fault!" He tried to defend himself as Jason's eyes narrowed on him. But before he could come up with any more reasons why it was not just his fault and that they should not lose any of their uncle privileges because of that…

…Jason started laughing, wheezing out a "It's not your fault."

Confused Dick blinked before Dan jumped out of his hands the same time Danny jumped out of Damians. Suddenly the kids appeared like nothing was wrong as they rushed over towards Jason. Hadn't Danny been dizzy until now? And Dan had complained and growled at him about a headache?

He glanced at Damian who was watching the twins with narrowed eyes.

"Well looks like you two had a lot of fun." They watched how Jason patted the twins' heads grinning at them as the boy's sported proud looks, like they were pleased with themselves. "Your Auntie Babs is making a highlight reveal for the entire family later. Till then go wash up and bug one of your other uncles or aunts."

"Can I go bug Uncle Tim! I got an new invention idea when Uncle Dick got chased by the dogs!"

"I want to find Aunt Harper."

"Sure both should be in the Manor by now. Just wash up first." With the boy's sent away it left the two adults and teen in the batcave. One of them gabbing like fish, the other glaring with narrowed eyes and the last of them still chuckling.

"Todd." Damian hissed and Dick knew that tone. Damian was promising revenge on Jason.

"Light up brat. The twins needed an outlet and Jazz suggested they could pull some pranks today, I just told them that with you two they could go all out."

Dick wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or be slightly mad at his brother for that but eventually he decided to go with relief. "So we are not losing uncle privileges, good."

"You two are still getting blacklisted for two weeks."

"WHAT?"

"I demand a reason."

"You tried taking them with you on patrol and you gave them blade training. They are six."

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sternenteile · 6 years ago

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DETAILED DISLIKES!

( answer the questions for your muse and tag some people. ) tagged by @sangfear !! ♡

muse’s name. ♡♪!? / call him ‘geno’. least favourite nickname. ‘starlight’ under certain circumstances. friends and certain family (i.e. rosalina and the lumas) are free to call him that, but he feels nothing but bitterness when the star spirit collective uses it on him. it just has sour roots for him.

least favourite colours. he doesn’t really have any lol? he sees something good in any color. least favourite season. n/a; he loves every season. least favourite weather. blizzards. he loves winter and snow, but blizzards are the worst. it’s snow that he can’t frolic in, and to make matters worse, it keeps him trapped inside with likely no electricity. lamest thing ever. least favourite, hot or cold. he adores the cold, but as a star, he is naturally used to and radiates significant warmth. he loves the sensation of cold and is complacent with heat, so i suppose that’s your answer: hot. least favourite holiday. n/a; he loves them all. least favourite food. kimchi. he and spicy food already don’t get along, but that stuff is particularly reviling for him, and this is from a guy who will eat almost anything. least favourite flavour. spicy. he has very low tolerance for spicy food, and while there are very mild exceptions to the rule, he generally does not like spicier flavors. least favourite drink. alcohol in general. how anyone can drink that stuff is beyond him. least favourite scent. while only experienced at one point in his life, he’ll never forget it. the scent of synthetic material and metal mixed with the rotten smell of inherently vile magic, like the magnified taste of blood in your mouth in scent form... but with a little extra zing. the heart-wrenching scent present on every member of the smithy gang, especially within bowser’s former keep, is one he never wants to face again. while not the most nauseating thing he’s smelled, the weight behind it is indescribable. oh, he also hates the smell of someone who hasn’t showered or worn deodorant in too long. ew. least favourite sound. the sound of eldstar’s voice is like nails to a chalkboard for him now. least favourite books. none. even trashy, terrible novels are fun for him, because he gets to have fun tearing them apart for how bad they are. they’re worth a laugh. he’ll find something to like in just about anything. least favourite movies. movies that shatter his suspension of disbelief when they’re supposed to be taken seriously. hilariously bad movies are the best, but something he wants to like and enjoy being tarnished by poor writing and lack of forethought just... makes him ridiculously irritable. he will complain and bemoan the loss of potential ‘til your ears burn. least favourite tv shows. soap operas. gaz’s mother loves them, and geno... cannot understand why. he just... he really tried to give one a chance, but as the mushroom turns was just not that compelling. sorry. least favourite area of study. mathematics because he is a basic 90′s fuckwad who dislikes the same thing everyone growing up hated. he basic as hell. least favourite aspect of job. the restrictions and poor treatment from the higher-ups. the only person he’d prefer to refer to as his ‘higher authority’ (note the lack of plurality) is rosalina. the star spirits that govern star haven are the one aspect of his job that he loathes. as such, he prefers to think of himself as a vigilante nowadays, an independent defender of wishes. least favourite person. smithy, easily. while his elders’ ideals conflict with his own, he doesn’t hate them as people, even though he despises the way they treated him. smithy, however, is someone he absolutely hates with every fiber of his being. he is the antithesis of everything he loves and stands for, and unlike the star spirits, he has no redeeming qualities, so fuck that noise. least favourite trait in others. controlling, abusive people. easily. this comes from personal experience. least favourite place to be. not so much a specific place, but a conditional place: alone and trapped. most of those moments were spent in the star road he loves so much and his old home in star haven, not because of any disdain towards those places, but because of his superiors tearing him down, isolating him there. being imprisoned with his own mind and his mind alone, his loving heart distant from all that he wants to reach out to, is the foulest place he can go. least favourite thing to talk about. the star spirits. he loves talking about his job and fulfilling wishes, because there is a lot of good to be had from that. just... just, nope, not them, not them lmao. least favourite thing about themself. that he sometimes doesn’t even know who ‘himself’ is. remember, he’s spent decades by his lonesome, his duties being his sole modus operandi with very little autonomy granted to him. if he’s at any point ever asked to describe himself in detail, despite him having many qualities that makes him a real person, he’ll likely either blank out or end up with one grating answer: ❝ i don’t know. ❞ he’s well-aware that he possesses personality traits and unique experiences like a person should, but knowledge versus believing it is a battle he often wages in himself. at times, it makes him feel like he’s delusional, either for feeling like he lacks personhood or for feeling that he has any. he’s a mess lmao. least favourite daily chore. anything that involves having to reach high-up places, especially in rose town inn. it’s embarrassing having to clean stuff down in front of guests when he needs a freaking step stool or ladder for it. haha geno too shorte. least favourite style of clothing. n/a; he likes all kinds of stuff, from modern wear to stuff as cheesy and terrible as parachute pants from the 90′s. he’ll just wear whatever if it comes down to it. least favourite activity. swimming, or in his case, a lack thereof lmao. more like flailing like an idiot unless he’s got water wings on. least favourite thing about humanity. how some people slip through the cracks and become downright evil without any sort of decent qualities. he adores humanity and the bulk of its flaws, mostly because it all feels so real and genuine in its imperfection, but people who spend their lives doing horrible and unspeakable things (that are so problematic that i’d rather not mention them here) are just... oof. nope. the worst. nope. get out of here. you’re blacklisted from wishes forever. least favourite thing about falling in love. the fear of being forcibly torn away from it, not by his other half, but by outside sources like his elders. least favourite thing about death. the inevitability of it, the shortness of his friends’ life spans, and the knowledge that he’ll watch every single one of his friends, their descendants, and their descendants’ descendants die.

#★ ; ( ooc. )#★ ; ( meme. )#whoof most of this is really painful and dark. rip.

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shanie-the-toyaddict · 6 years ago

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Ok, so I’m like, two days late with this...

This past Thursday, I had a doctors appointment. I had to fill out some paperwork, and when I wrote the date (5/23/19) I did a FULL STOP and just went “...OH”

Now, to explain. There are certain dates that affect me. January 15th is obviously one based on my love of Shane.

May 23rd is another for a WHOLE OTHER REASON.

For anyone who doesn’t realize what I’m getting at, this past Thursday was 20 years to the day since Owen Hart fell to his death at Kemper Arena at the Over The Edge PPV.

It was a night I can never, and will never forget.

Being a minor at the time (I was I think 15), I had ZERO say over wanting to watch a PPV, let alone a WWF (Again, yes F) PPV. HOWEVER, there was a technique back in the day, where if you turned your TV to channel 1, you would get to LISTEN to the PPV while the video feed was scrambled.

So naturally, this is how I watched ALL PPVs from October ‘98 until about September 2001. Basically, until I got to college and could visit a Sports Bar and watch it properly.

So, anyway, there I was, sitting in the basement, TV on (quietly) doing my homework. When IT happened. At first I didn’t realize what was going on. But as it dawned on me, I got really upset. I turned up the TV to better hear JR and Lawler. Of Course, this brought down my Mother who demanded I turn the TV off and focus on my homework. I refused shouting “You don’t understand, I THINK SOMEONE JUST DIED!” My mom, not believing me, rolled her eyes and took the remote from me and clicked off the TV. She then proceeded to sit with me for the rest of the night and made sure I didn’t turn the TV back on. I never got to hear the end of the PPV and I never heard the official announcement of Owen’s death.

Fast Forward to the next morning. My mom, at 6am, rouses me to go to school by saying “Hun, get up. Wake up. Remember how you said someone died on WWF last night? You were right. I’m so sorry.”

I SHOT out of bed like a rocket and IMMEDIATELY called my Boyfriend’s house... at 6:15 am. I get his mother. “Hello??? YESS???? Who is there???” “Um yes, It’s Missy. Can you put Josh on the phone, it’s an emergency”

I had to be the one to tell him. He was a bigger wrestling fan than I was and I had to tell him. It wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen to me all day though.

That came once I got to school. I arrived at school, and met up with my best friend at the time, Aurora. She was all excited and the first thing she asked me was “So... did Owen win the belt last night? Tell me, I need to know!” Y’all don’t understand. Owen Hart was her HERO. He wasn’t just her favorite superstar. Owen was to her what Shane was to me: Her reason to wake up in the morning and function. She had actually gotten to meet him years earlier and it was the “Best day of my life” she always told me.

Do you have any IDEA... and NOTION what it is like to tell a teenage girl that their hero just died? To tell ANYONE that? To just hear the words leave your mouth and just watch someone’s entire WORLD CAVE IN.

She just started SOBBING and fell to the ground because her legs refused to hold her any longer. And she lay there, on the floor of the upper commons, for a good seven or eight minutes after the bell to go to homeroom rang. She simply could not process anything. I eventually had to basically pick her up physically and guide her to her locker and homeroom because she couldn’t stop crying.

Mind you, I was bullied almost non-stop from kindergarten until 11th grade. I spent a whole year of high school as a suicidal mess. I was humiliated by my “Friends” during school events several times that still haunt me.

This... this was the worst day of my entire childhood.

I really don’t want to remember much more than that. I watched RAW is OWEN that night and cried the entire time. Watching the superstars who I had so recently become vested in cry, WATCHING SHANE CRY, it only served to further cement Monday, May 24th, 1999 as one of the worst days of my entire life.

I read an article tonight about how the event not only caused an ever further rift between the Harts and the McMahons, but also caused an internal fracturing of the Hart family. I don’t know enough about that to comment nor do I really want to. But I do know this. Bret makes a good point. By preventing the current WWE from airing/honoring/acknowledging anything about Owen, all that has happened is an entire generation has gone by and knows nothing of his legacy. While it may be for different reasons, he has been erased just as much as other superstars and alumni that have been blacklisted. I’m not naming names, but there are many people in the current HOF who don’t deserve it NEARLY as much as Owen does. But we all know he will never be allowed it and it SUCKS.

This has gone on way too long, but I felt the need to put this on here. I don’t know how many people will actually read this, and it’s almost more of a journal entry than anything. But to me, May 23rd is one of those days which I can’t help but notice as it comes and goes every year. Being the 20th anniversary just meant that I had to say something this time is all.

PS. Aurora was not the only best friend I ever had who went through this. My current BFF, on tumblr as @aquilalorelei, had to experience the death of Kevin Tod Smith (AKA Ares, from Xena). By being her friend all these years (I luckily didn’t befriend her until AFTER his death) I have seen proof that this kind of pain doesn’t go away. It lingers and eats at you. You might not have been a part of that person’s life IRL, but they were very much a part of yours. At least when an actual IRL loved one dies, you have memories with them to hold on to. Very few people ever get to experience meeting their heroes. Those that never do will never have that first-hand experience to remember. So do I think losing an idol is worse than losing a true love or family member? No, not worse. More like ‘equally painful in a different way’. In conclusion, I have posted twice tonight about the parallel worlds notion. Somewhere, in the multiverse, we can take solace in the fact that there is an alive and well Owen Hart who got to retire, and how resides in that world’s Hall Of Fame. We may not be lucky enough to ever experience that world. But the thought that it exists does cheer me up slightly.

RIP Owen. We still haven’t forgotten you.

#Owen Hart #WWE #Long Post #Memorial #Personal

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anneedmonds · 6 years ago

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Sex On Tape: Call To Police!

Yesterday I did a bit of sifting through my junk mail folder. I rarely remember to do this but apparently – now and then – you should. I say this because last year I missed four incredibly important emails and each time it created quite an awkward work situation; in two of the cases the person involved thought I was ignoring them and in the others I completely missed out on some rather nice opportunities.

So now, every week or so, I skim through my junk email folder and check that there’s nothing interesting and/or urgent from legitimate senders who have somehow been blacklisted by my Mac Mail. It’s usually just a few dozen of messages from shoe companies, phone card top-up providers and cosmetics manufacturers in China who seem to think I’m a makeup brush retailer. Sometimes they are from scammers saying I’ve won money or I need to send money or I need to do something else that always – quite frankly – seems like a bit too much effort. Nevertheless, if I’m stuck for things to do (ie: I have loads of stuff to do but don’t want to do it) then I quite like to spend a few joyous minutes searching for threatening emails and then reading them out with comedy voices. These emails are never actually addressed to me – in the last week I’ve had emails sent to Tonya Recommends, Emily Farr and – amazingly – Peaches McTaff – but still. They’re in my box which means I own them. (On a sidenote, I’d love, more than anything, to meet someone called Peaches McTaff.)

Anyway, I got sent the below and it really tickled me. Especially the “I’ll call to police!” part. It made me go right back to the start of the email and re-read it all in the voice of Aleksandr Orlov from Compare the Meerkats.

I have to say that scamming emails, though obviously pretty dark in intent and potentially destructive in the wrong hands, are often very amusing. The malapropisms, the typos, the hilarious phrases that have simply become lost in translation; I worry about cyber crime a lot, but there’s nothing like a ridiculous email to lighten the mood.

This one, as you’ll find out, relies on the recipient being something of a racy internet user – watching saucy vids and, I assume, doing various things to themselves whilst they watch them. I can genuinely say that I have never watched sexy films on the internet, mainly because I’d rather spend hours on Rightmove looking at houses I can’t buy (floorplans are my porn, baby!); but if I did, then I’m not sure I’d do stuff to myself in front of the computer. What if I was accidentally connected to my mother via Skype? What if, somehow, I was uploading myself onto Facebook Live?

If there’s one thing you can take away from this post, it’s this: don’t do any naughty business in front of your computer without taping over your spyhole first. (“Taping over your spyhole” might sound like a euphemism: it’s not. I mean the camera hole in the top of the computer and if you didn’t know that was there, I suggest you spend an evening acquainting yourself with your machine. Again, not a euphemism.)

So here’s Aleksandr and his scam – I’ve made some notes in brackets as we go along.

“I’ll begin with the most important. [Please do.]

I hackled your device and then got access to all your accounts… It is easy to check – I wrote you this email from your account. [He/she didn’t.] Also I have an old password for the hacking day: xxxxxx.

[OK let’s pause already: what is the hacking day? Is this another one of those “national days of” celebrations, like #nationaldoughnutday or #worldunicornday? Should we be celebrating hackers?]

Moreover, I know your intim secret, and I have proof of this. You do not know me personally, and no one paid me to check you. [To be honest I’m quite disappointed that nobody paid to have me checked. Am I worth so little? I feel like a television baddy when they find out that the price on their head is only $2000.]

It is just a coincidence that I discovered your mistake. In fact, I posted a malicious code (exploit) to an adult site, and you visited this site… [Nope, not me. Now Aleksandr, had you written to me and said “I posted a malicious code to a Velux blinds discount site, and you visited this site…” I would have been properly worried.]

While watching a video Trojan virus has been installed on your device through an exploit. This darknet software working as RDP (remote-controlled desktop), which has a keylogger, which gave me access to your microphone and webcam. Soon after, my software received all your contacts from your messenger, social network and email. [I have no idea what most of this means but the Trojan, Darknet and Keylogger now residing in my device make me feel slightly uneasy. They sound tough and mean, like they might all carry those hammers with spikes sticking out of them. Is my laptop screen the portal to another – Lord of the Rings style – universe?

“Darknet? Darknet, you imbecile! Come closer and bring me the Orb of Clustertron.”

“Y-y-yes, Trojan sire. Here it is, the Orb, oh mighty one.”

“Darknet! Where is the Orbal Octicular Augmentor?”

“The…the what sire?”

“The Orbal Octicular Augmentor, fool! You know, the looking glass that makes viewing the Orb possible!”

“The…magnifying glass you mean? Keylogger has it, sire…”]

At that moment I spent much more time than I should have. [To be fair, Alek, I spend much more time than I should have doing a lot of things. Don’t beat yourself up about it.] I studied your love life and created a good video series. [Oh thank the lord – can I buy it off you please? Creating original Youtube content that people actually watch is killing me off. If you have video and I’m the star, I’ll pay good money.] The first part shows the video that you watched, [Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper singing Shallow, live. I know it must be that because I watch it multiple times a day.] and the second part shows the video clip taken from your webcam (you are doing inappropriate things). [This is probably true, to be fair.]

Honestly, I want to forget all the information about you and allow you to continue your daily life. And I will give you two suitable options. Both are easy to do. First option: you ignore this email. The second option: you pay me $700(USD).

[Third option: you turn it into a blog post and make everyone read out my email in the voice of one of the meerkats from the Compare the Market.]

Let’s look at 2 options in detail. [OK.]

The first option is to ignore this email. Let me tell you what happens if you choose this path. I will send your video to your contacts, including family members, colleagues, etc. This does not protect you from the humiliation that you and your family need to know when friends and family members know about your unpleasant details. [Most confusing sentence structure I’ve ever seen – I can’t even unpick the meaning from this mess.]

The second option is to pay me. We will call this “privacy advice.” [Or extortion, but carry on.] Now let me tell you what happens if you choose this path. [Does it take me through Fall Forest, over Winter Mountain and out to Summer Lake like in Dora the Explorer?] Your secret is your secret. I immediately destroy the video. [Uh huh.] You continue your life as if none of this has happened.

Now you might think: “I’ll call to police!” [No, I don’t think anyone will actually think this because it’s not a sentence that exists. The grammar is completely incorrect. Still, this is my favourite line in the whole of your email. I like to imagine lots of people reading the same scam and then looking up from their screens and saying – “I know! I’ll call to police!”

“Pauline? Pauline! Come up here. I’ve got something shameful to tell you.”

“What is it Bob? Tell me you haven’t been vacuuming your penis up the hoover hose again?”

“Worse, Pauline. Much worse. And someone has filmed it, that’s the bad thing.”

“Oh Bob, when will you learn, love?”

“He’s threatening to take it public if I don’t pay seven hundred dollars.”

“What are you going to do, Bob?”

“I don’t know Pauline, I just don’t. If work see me using the office-issue hole punch to gently pincer my testicles whilst wearing a scuba diving mask I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“I wondered where the hole punch had gone Bob! I needed to file the electricity bill and I had to just rest it in the ring-binder, untethered!”

“Sorry Pauline, I really am. I just don’t know what to do. Any ideas?”

“Hmm. I know!”

“What?”

“I’ll call to police!”]

Undoubtedly, I have taken steps to ensure that this letter cannot be traced to me, and it will not remain aloof from the evidence of the destruction of your daily life. I don’t want to steal all your savings. [This sentence is proof that Google Translate is never your friend] I just want to get compensation for my efforts that I put in to investigate you. [Flipping Poirot, here!] Let us hope that you decide to create all this in full and pay me a fee for confidentiality. You make a Bitcoin payment (if you don’t know how to do it, just enter “how to buy bitcoins” in Google search)

Shipping amount: $700(USD). Getting Bitcoin Addresses: xx (This is sensitive, so copy and paste it carefully) [Oops. I replaced it with an XX. This is like when you opt to use the Safari strong password and then the computer forgets it and it was something like Sf%!!hjkh6789cdDcDD34?4 and you are locked out of Gmail forever.]

This is a one-time offer that is non-negotiable, so do not waste my and your time. Time is running out.

Bye!”

I think that the sign-off might be my second most favourite part. So cheery! So familiar! I sort of wish that he/she had signed off with a name, no matter how fake.

Bye!

Leslie xx.

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angel47258-blog · 6 years ago

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Ponies

I can't even stand to look at people that don't want to over throw the Government. If I even suspect they don't want to over throw the Government, I really start to hate em* quite a few people seem to have lost this moral highground somewhere in societal degrade city. Some people are extremely adamant about making the World a terrible place. Case Number 03938061: This is why nobody has safely advanced civillization. Now while every scumbag shitty retard therapist and police sergeant and satanic investor was thinking about a rebuttles to say how it's not ok overthrow the Government ,as well as every worthless asshole politician who is a dime a motherfucking dozen since the 70's or 80's and everybody's mommy and daddy was working for the stock market and everybody was just dying to work for a Chevy and Ford Honda and Toyota oil monopoly. I swear to God I better hear ever soldier and police officer and courtroom judge tell me and everybody else how great the representation is in America, and how great rampant abuses of psychiatric fraud and medical malpractice are. I need to hear how great it is to drug everybody with toxic medications and to see drug commercials everywhere because they are so important to corporate policy along with every single other societal degrade including psychotronic attacks on Civillians and big oil, smog,and toxic poisons and waste!, I need to hear how important it is that every asshole died for a piece of the pie in lobbyist funded corporate America, Because I was unfortunately being a victim of some type of traumatic mind control. There Are certain types of EMF,v2k, Sonic blackjack and or psychotronic weapons that I was attacked by. It may be monarch traumatic mind control. America the marketing capital of the fucking world. It causes traumatic amnesia, memory loss, repressed emotions that victims will be unable to process. It is horrible. Psychiatry and the DSM will not acknowledge these types of attacks even if a person can remember. This is a state of emergency for far too many people. Victims have been blacklisted even in the public school system. Some therapists are very well aware of how fraudulent psychiatry can be and the DSM . Attackers and gang or cult blacklist stalkers will take full advantage of this. Often times a victim may be trying to make a positive life change and will be drugged and or attacked by these destructive trauma weapons. I went to Pittsford Mendon graduated 95. Teachers have even set up students with these types of attacks to conspire against victims. Let me remind everyone in Satoris class I did say I wanted every mk ultra scientist shot in the head (twice). I said I wanted to run for Congress as well even if I just got the grant and marketed grassroots biofuel to vote on I would have crushed all enemy opposition. ) Usually inventory is taken on victims to see if they have any truly positive or safe connections. Familiy life included. Some families will set their children up or be so Ill equipped to deal with this that they may simply call it a mental illness which is not even close to acknowledging these issues. Some families endanger their kids by not helping them protect themselves. Either running or gunning. Some family members hold others back from truly protecting themselves.This causes very much loneliness, trauma and depression so others can later take advantage of the victim. There is no real protection in the news or media or any effective legislation for these types of attacks. I had many people falsely befriend me and when they saw me moving on they made sure I was stalked and attacked. People that had me attacked shortly after I moved 20 minutes to a new town called Pittsford. My dad was dead in less than a year. Gunjit Nathan J Berkebile grant Hammond. All lived on the street I moved to. Dale Goldstein jack watts had me stalked and watched in therapy people will even conspire to have people set up with therapists. Doyle just happened to move into my school after berkebile left. He's a satanic fuk. Doyle really needed people shot with these weapons so he could "deal" with them. I.got tricked into moving in with jeff and Kevin Wright and Milan and Doyle shot me with some type of hand held devices. It was after I moved in. My brother "introduced " me to Jeff, Tim and kevin. Had to be purposeful The Palmers on Roslyn street met Palmer at college at Alfred state . Jon ash I am pretty sure really followed me to college. I think that's what really happened. chris Milan justin figgarelli, conti Collins had Anne Corey followed me to my class at mcc jon Ash followed me to Alfred state. I had thought I made a friend of the Palmers. But it was not the case They so badly set me up. I knew them for years they plotted and suggested therapists through another source. At 145 south fitzhugh I was m.h. placed me thru case management Steve Pezel, Courtney Audino Cindy Kinyan and Jenn Moore were there to harass me after I was later shot months later. maybe I sat on a device it's very obvious when people get blasted by these weapons similar to EMF, psychotronics and v2k , Jordan Collins. Sean Driscoll, Chad Francis and Todd Francis as well as Jason Doyle had me hurt very badly with some type of device and Amy fien. Sometimes hand held Devices are used. They have people shot by these weapons and insult them or say terrible things to them and the victim loses their memory. Concentration, happiness, motivation and quality of life are very much effected. Teacher satori targeted me openly in class knowing I would suffer memory loss and nobody helped at all. Aeisha Ash wanted me attacked,,she said so in class. Weiss too. I wonder how many Jews are especially targeted like me. I even mentioned I was thinking of running for Congress. Nobody does sht in office anyway If law enforcement can't provide safety or put up a billboard people must protect themselves. There are far too many cover-ups and stovepiping so people are not nearly well enough informed. Any president could have protected his people a long time ago. Homeland security isn't really for the anything and what has the CIA done? budgets for nothing but societal degrades big pharma, big oil and false news in America. These are intolerable Grievances. Justin Figgarelli was always a disgusting sick fck. I never even entertained the idea of being friends with someone like that. This trauma is terrible people or victims sometimes will get messed up to the point that they fall into situations they had no intentions of getting into. Conti lived with figgarelli. Everybody knew I was really just not interested in Tim anymore. Doyle said when I was 19 a gang was going to come into my group therapy and I wasn't even thinking about group therapy at the time. It was when I was 26 when Watts came in met him at the Palmers barbecue when I was 22. Tim had me shot with some weapin to mess me up and Jessie got drugs from someone for Tim to give me. Age 22. I was working part time and going to school. There is no way my life would have gone this way without severe negative intervention. Those weapons really effect judgement. This is a conglomerate attack. This is so much of the reason society never progresses beyond a big oil company and medical fraud and dsmv malpractice. Does anybody think any of these people would have a decent job if they got shot a bunch of times with these types of weapons? I have memories as a kid of pretty strange stuff. People may find out things happened to a victim of traumatic events and say something like well how come I can't mess with them yet? — in Rochester, NY. Photo sometimes I just knew things as a kid like haarp and TENCAP. in the 80's. I think they may have sent information to me and then had me attacked. Jason Doyle when I was 19 told me he didn't care if I was going to be the most talented psychic in the world he just wanted to mess me up. I was getting shot. I actually remember songs that I knew and could partially here so many years before they came out. I dont think Earth or pf Chang's needs people like Jason Doyle alive at all. Or people like Fred or Jessie or Becky Palmer or this person and that other person and this one and that one or Anne Corey or definitely not Cindy Kinyan or Jenn moore or.. it's like Satan and Hitler just strolled in with some lobbyists and a marketing campaign. And rommell took a break from tank duty and bought an Abrahams. it's the song of Deborah. In the book of Judges most people didn't do anything. Psyops patches and badges nro literally remind me of my childhood and I never viewed them a normal way. I caught glimpses of them though

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angel47258-blog · 6 years ago

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Societal degrades and tax break incentives

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