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nemenalya · 4 years ago

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A comprehensive history of ritualistic tax fraud among the Dunmer

The practice of ritualistic tax fraud can be observed in three major periods throughout Dunmer history. The earliest mentions of this can be traced back to the five hundreds of the First Era, although it has been theorized extensively that tax fraud has been wide-spread throughout both the Resdayn era and the Nordic occupation of Morrowind. One especially bold colleague of mine has generated quite some uproar in the scientific community by suggesting that the Dunmeri contempt of taxes might stem from before the Velothi exodus and might have been a secondary driver for said exodus, as well as the inclusion of Mephala in the Chimeri pantheon. Few sources on Chimeri religious practices remain to this day, with many having been purposefully altered or destroyed by the Tribunal Temple, so it is unlikely that we will ever know the true origins of this practice.

One of the oldest pieces of evidence we have on the prevalence of ritualistic tax fraud is an old banner that has been found in an abandoned Velothi tomb in the Stonefalls region, which had been sealed by volcanic ash from a yet undated minor eruption. The particular weaving style has been independently dated by experts to be from the height of the Resdayn era, noticeable for what we must assume are Dwemeri influences on the technique. As this was a religious piece -quite possible featured in the temple of Ebonheart and later laid to rest with a high priestess of Mephala from the inscriptions in the tomb- the extent of Dwemer influence remains restricted to the weaving style while lacking the typical bordure.

Some debate has sprung up surrounding the usage of high quality materials and excellent weavers for what amounts to a placard with the same simple rhetoric as a pamphlet for the Imperial City arena. By now, most historians agree with Vansei’s claim that the usage of tapestries in place of placards was a show of particular devotion to the Webspinner Mephala by the major temples that could easier afford such a luxury. The writing on these would have been nonetheless kept simple to reach a vast majority of worshippers, many of whom might have sought to include the most reclusive of their gods in their devotions but lacked the proper means or understanding to do so. With the acceptance of this theory, most doubts about the authenticity of the tapestry have been abated, even if a consideration of the actual text tends to throw off students to this day.

The weaving featured the words (translated from Chimeris with the help of a Telvanni linguist of some repute who wants to remain anonymous): “Tax season is coming up! Remember to commit tax fraud in Mephala’s holy name!” The restoration of the smaller weavings at the bottom of the tapestry took additional time and resources -and the Mages Guild had been seriously debating to cut funding for the project- but was worth it for the scientific uproar it caused upon translation: “If you have further questions regarding tax fraud or other acts of worship, please consult your local priest. For a small donation, the Temple [the organisation of institutionalized worship of the Three Good Daedra among the House mer] is happy to help you with your taxes!”

The important discovery here –beyond the fact that historical daedrologists had to reconsider their classification of spheres ascribed to various Daedric Princes in the faith of the early Chimer- was the role of the temple in the previously theorized upon wide-spread practice of tax fraud. It is important to note, that unlike with the modern periods in which this practice was employed, we do not know the scope of tax fraud and subsequent losses and are unlikely to ever find a satisfying number, as our estimations of the current scopes required a variety of records, none of which have survived from the Resdayn era. Nonetheless, even conservative estimates say that at least half of all dues were never paid, with between a third and two thirds of this sum ending up in the temple coffers. As we will later discuss, this would have led to only negligible efficiency losses due to the separation of tasks between the Great Houses, the Temple, and the centralized government. It is also important to note that in recent Imperial tax seasons, almost every fifth tax declaration was fraudulent, which would leave us with a problem of a similar scope. As most Dunmer scholars in this field arrive at consistently and significantly higher estimates for cases of domestic tax fraud or tax fraud among the Dunmeri diaspora, it is likely that the ritualization of tax fraud through the Temple lead to greater welfare funds than under a fully enforced taxation system.

There are only a handful of surviving sources from the time of the collapse of Resdayn and the apotheosis of the Tribunal, and unfortunately for us none of them deal with taxation. Thus, the only thing we know from this time is that during the reordering of the Temple into the new Tribunal Temple highly ritualized tax fraud fell out of practice. This can for the most part be explained by the disappearance of a centralized secular power structure and the concurrent abolishment of taxation as a whole.

While many of the Great Houses continued to employ a system similar to taxation in all but name, there are no records of the Tribunal Temple having made similar demands. Instead, a lot of the Temple’s funds were raised through the traditional Velothi ways of donations and gifts, as well as recurrent attempts at bribery. The latter was however openly discouraged and for most of the Tribunal’s rule the use of Temple resources for personal gain was harshly punished among the clergy.

It was only after the signing of the Armistice in the late Second Era that the issue of taxation arose again, with the Empire quickly demanding a cut of local taxes and introducing new taxes and tariffs of their own. Almost instantly the practice of tax fraud picked up again, although surviving correspondence from those days indicate the absence of a ritualistic component. By the beginning of the Third Era the Tribunal Temple has verifiably gotten involved in the growing tax fraud movement, although both its political leeway and the exact religious aspects differ noticeably from the Mephala worship in the Resdayn era.

Where the [Daedric] Temple had enjoyed near impunity in the First Era in its outspokenness against certain Council decisions, and had in fact been considered a branch of power alongside the Resdaynian court of Mournhold, the Tribunal Temple’s power was limited by the terms of the Armistice. And instead of serving a common goal of caring for the Dunmer people, the Temple and the tax authorities of the Temple have opposing interests in the allocation and use of the funds raised.

As the majority of the leeway enjoyed by the province of Morrowind came from its religious practices, the problem of reintegrating organized tax fraud or avoidance into Dunmeri society sparked a mostly internal theological debate on which member of the Tribunal would be the patron of these ‘charitable acts that amount to tax fraud under Imperial laws’. The astute Dunmeris scholar might have already recognized the roughly interpreted Dunmeris colloquialism here, which hints us at the decision reached in this matter.

The debate primarily raged between three groups that can be named after different currents of belief that enjoyed popularity around that time. The Daedric Traditionalists argued that since taxation and its avoidance had been ascribed to Mephala in Chimeri worship, a resurgence of this practice should see it attributed to Vivec, who had been anticipated by Mephala. The fast growing faction of Anti-Imperialists meanwhile held that it was Almalexia who acted against the Imperial occupation, while Vivec had betrayed their people through the signing of the Armistice, and this policy should thus bear her mark. The third group involved in the argument, the Venerators, proposed a more diplomatic solution where resisting the faithlessness of taxation should be included in the canons of Saint Olms the Bold or Saint Felms the Just. For a while this idea gained traction -especially with the backing of certain high-ranking Temple members who tried to avoid any outward signs of dissent among the members of the Tribunal- but it was quickly overruled by the remainder of the Indoril clergy, many of whom had become staunch supporters of the Anti-Imperialist current.

While this discourse was largely kept out of the public knowledge, texts later attributed to various Temple officials describe a clash between the groups that resulted in a hegemony of the Anti-Imperialist current on the mainland. The Temple ranks on Vvardenfell soon became too fractured with the rise of the Dissident Priests to continue the debate, but a dogmatic rift grew between the followers of the different members of the Tribunal, especially Almalexia and Vivec.

A number of placards survive from this period, two of which have been donated to the College by Dunmer refugees formerly involved with the Tribunal Temple in an attempt to keep their faith from being forgotten in the aftermath of the Red Year. Their almost polemic messages fit well within the rhetoric and political landscape of their time; the closing years of the Tribunal’s reign and the concurrent rise of even by Dunmeri standards ultra-nationalist groups. One of the placards in our collection reads: “Taxation is Blasphemy! A true Dunmer funds the charities of the Temple, not an outlander’s coffers!” The simple strokes of the letters indicate that these were produced on a larger scale and that they were of little individual value, unlike the tapestry found in the tomb in Stonefalls. The most likely explanation for this would be that the Temple did not take a stand against taxation but instead ignored its enforcement. Imperial tax collectors might still demand these signs to be taken down, but the donor indicated that the officers rarely understood Dunmeris well enough to actually realize the contents of these placards. Indeed, both this and the other bear a close stylistic resemblance to traditional Temple banners or signs, so that they would draw little attention from outsiders.

The other placard is certainly the more interesting one when considered in conjunction with the theological debate surrounding the re-introduction of ritualistic tax fraud into the Dunmeri society. Its text - “Mother Morrowind needs You [the word is written like a name to emphasize the address] to commit tax fraud! Help drive those n’wah from our land!” – demonstrates a clear victory of the Anti-Imperialist current, and portrays a dissent among the Tribunal after the signing of the Armistice that is rarely seen. Moreover, this call has been mentioned in multiple diaries of Imperial traders or bureaucrats who found it written on their walls overnight. No records exist on any investigations into whether the perpetrators were simply local youth or possibly organized criminals. The interested reader might enjoy Ralen’s treatise on the connections between the Tribunal Temple and various criminal organizations in the late Third Era, where she conducts further analysis of various linguistic oddities and personal correspondence between members of certain infamous groups such as the Commona Tong. Her research goes beyond the scope of this book, so we will again focus on the actions of the Temple in facilitating tax fraud instead.

Regardless of the rumours and the quite evocative placards, the Temple maintained that its involvement with the Imperial tax system solely consisted of providing advice on the proper formalities to its faithful, along with a large number of other educational or welfare services. As the Dunmer had not been subject to taxes for millennia, the idea was believed to be quite foreign to them, and the Temple only intended to help the people come to terms with the concept and the particularities of Imperial bureaucracy. This policy saw a surge in donations –generally referred to among the Dunmer as “Mother’s Grace”- that had similar effects on the Temple coffers as the openly advertised tax fraud policies of the First Era, which has formally been attributed to an increased piousness in the face of outlander presence on the holy land and as gratitude for the Tribunal’s containment of the Blight.

The disproportionally large claims for tax deductions for charitable donations also amount to nearly three times the estimated revenues of the Tribunal Temple, based off of earlier research into the scope and effectiveness of Morrowind’s religious welfare structure. Some scholars estimate that these campaigns and the subsequent spread of tax fraud among the Dunmer has bereaved the Empire of up to four fifths of the taxes it should have collected from the province since the signing of the Armistice. For this reason, most Imperial scholars are quick to label the tradition of tax fraud of any kind as a religious practice ‘a dangerous superstition’. Nonetheless, various positive effects on the scope of Temple welfare programs and subsequently on Dunmeri society as a whole have been found, which require future scholars in this field to lay aside their bias if they truly want to understand the positive or adverse effects of these practices.

After the Empire withdrew from Morrowind during the Oblivion Crisis and the Red Year saw many Dunmer displaced from their home and seeking refuge abroad, any centralized taxation system in the province vanished. With the abrupt fall of the Tribunal Temple and the resurgence of the worship of the Three Good Daedra as the Reclamations a lot of the former charity work and the previous fund raising channels fell to the side. In the Fourth Era Morrowind is ruled in all but name by House Redoran, which has greatly increased its sphere of influence but rejects the concept of taxes as foreign and dishonourable. Instead, the other Great Houses are encouraged to fund the New Temple’s welfare and rebuilding programs, most likely in exchange for House Redoran’s protection.

Among the Dunmeri diaspora with their limited access to places of worship but the same burning desire to prove themselves to their new, old gods the practice of tax fraud remained wide-spread. As an especially self-serving way of honouring Mephala, whose worship fell to the background compared to that of Boethiah and Azura, the informal redistribution of funds within the community and a sometimes outright refusal to pay taxes to the Nordic local authorities became common among the larger Dunmeri groups. Certain scholars and courtiers argue that the state of the Grey Quarter in Windhelm with its infrastructural problems is a result of this disposition. While current events and sources always require extremely critical analysis, there are signs that those opinions are not entirely unfounded. After all, it is a popular joke among the denizens of the Grey Quarter that they built shrines for Azura and Boethiah, but that they modelled their home in tribute to Mephala.

#elder scrolls #morrowind #mephala is the daedric prince of tax fraud. pass it on #i posted this on ao3 like three seconds ago and then got spooked so here it is now #sorry for that inconvenience #but i would still very much invite people to argue with me about anything in this :D #lore/hc

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las-vegas-princess · 7 years ago

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Two hours at Blenheim Palace

Better late, than never. I’m sorry, but my friend and my family kept me really busy. I’m sure I have nothing as great to tell as ‘Joan_0814’ on Twitter, but I still want to give you a quick rundown about my two hours at Blenheim Palace yesterday (July 19, 2017). [Please excuse the ‘far away’ pictures. The zoom in my phone is broken.]

Up until the moment when I entered the bus, it wasn’t sure if I would be able to visit the set. I was in Oxford for the day anyway – totally by chance – but it took almost a fight with my best friend for me to leave her in town and go out to Woodstock. But enough of my semi-dramatic life and on with the show:

I only managed to get to the palace at 4pm, so the majority of stuff was already done. The palace is impressive in itself, but entering the grounds and seeing the set’s base camp is just awesome.

Inside the palace courtyard, I was greeted by vans, tents and a film crew. They were not filming at the front entrance at that moment and not knowing my way around at all or where to look for them, I used the time to actually take a look at the grounds and the palace. I paid for the entrance after all, and if I wasn’t lucky enough to see any of the cast, at least I spent my time and money checking out the place where they play house. The gardens and grounds are super pretty and extensive and you can imagine Alex & Tom running around, not to be found again.

In between visiting the gardens and the palace, I went to the toilet somewhere down in the basement, where they reserved one room for the make-up team. Shooting on location is never romantic and always complicated, so the basement it is for them.

In the palace, I was held back for what felt like ages, because the place was pretty deserted and the employees all wanted to tell me stuff about it. After a while I was able to get away and left through the chapel.

The moment I stepped out, Tom was standing in front of me under the alcove that lead to the chapel - all alone, looking for something. He was dressed in his bodyguard uniform and boy, that guy is something else. Taller than I imagined, but I’m rather short, so what do I know?! What stunned me the most, where his facial features. I mean, we all know that he is handsome, but that jaw and his cheekbones were carved by Michelangelo himself – I’m sure of it! For whatever reason, I wanted to get out of his way quickly. He seemed very concentrated and determined to go somewhere – without knowing where that ‘somewhere’ was. So, I walked past him, when he decided to change directions and bumped into me. We both said nothing and went on our ways. I was totally stunned, sent out a tweet and watched him walk away. I usually don’t run after stars – I always feel really bad bothering them (or anyone for that matter) – but when I saw two girls following him, I felt less ‘stalkery’ and went after them. Tom went to the catering truck and met up with Sarah Armstrong who was getting something to drink. The two girls, who turned out to be Twitter’s Joan_0814 and her friend, asked Tom for a picture and Jo got one. Sarah was waiting next to us during it and Toby Sandeman arrived while the picture was taken. Tom and Sarah left to get back to set and the three of us went after them.

We had to wait for a bit down the side, because they were setting something up for a scene. Roughly 80 extras in casual, every day clothes were brought into the courtyard. They had to stand in a throng and just wait. In the end, they had to wait for an hour in the cold wind before their scene was canceled for that day.

While we had to wait, Max Brown was walking past us, done for the day.When we were allowed to cross again, we saw Mark Schwahn on the other side. Jo and her friend waited for him to have time for a picture, I kept my eye on the set.

After a few minutes, they set up for rehearsal. Alex, Tom, Sarah & Toby were in the scene. They rehearsed it once, Mark gave his instructions and then the actual waiting period began, while they set up the scene. I worked on set before, but nothing this upscale. I quickly realized that “High End” TV Drama is just a synonym for “everything takes AGES!!” I had a bus to catch, but wanted to stay for the first take at least. I did manage to and had to run afterwards, but it was still worth it. In the end, it was just me there, with the few visitors to the palace who couldn’t have cared less and went on to visit the gardens.

I don’t want to post what they were shooting here in case of spoilers (even if hardly anything there did would be considred a spoiler and it was a very short scene anyway). But if you want to know what happened, just drop me a message and I will let you know. The girls on Twitter and I were wondering when the scene would take place and today I did remember that I saw a slate, that said “Episode 3, Scene II”. But that could have been from the scene they shot before, so don’t quote me on this.

Finally, my thoughts about the cast - from what little I saw of them:

1. Tom (because he was the first one I saw, the one I saw the longest and because he is Tom): Like I said, he is really handsome (he gets better looking with each season / with age) but also very brooding and concentrated. Might have been preparation for the scene, might be his persona. In the picture Alex took with him in front of the door, he is smiling (of some sort) but that really was the only time he did do anything close to moving his features. But I’m sure it was a long and taxing day for him, so I can’t fault him. I never smile either, so at least I’m in good company.

2. Alex: I only saw her from far away, so nothing I can really say about her. They were all really concentrating on the scene, just like we want them to, so no jumping around or being playful. They had been at it for 10 hours at the point already, so again, we would all just want it to be over with as well.

3. Sarah: Pretty girl – they all are. She was talking to Tom or Toby the majority of the time and was patiently waiting for Tom when he took the picture.

4. Toby: He was the most active one. Joking around, having fun and didn’t seem bothered that they still had a long evening ahead of them.

5. Max: Only saw him for a moment, but he seemed really nice, really handsome and glad to be able to go home. I might not like Robert at all, but we need a villain in the show and its good that he is being played by someone who is actually a great guy to be around.

6. Mark: He seemed nice as well. Really took some time to take multiple pictures with Jo and her friend.

Okay, that is all I can think of right now. It might have not been the most exciting day on set, but I’m just so happy that I got to go there and see the cast once. Never thought that it would actually happen during my time here in England.

But now I’m super pumped and once I’m rested enough tomorrow morning, I will get back to my Jasper fanfiction that I promised last week. Things got in the way, scene were added in my mind, but I will push it out quickly.

#The Royals #Royals #Season 4 #Blenheim Palace #Tom Austen #Alex Park #Alexandra Park #Sarah Armstrong #Toby Sandeman #The Royals Season 4 #Royals Season 4

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paulisweeabootrash · 6 years ago

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First Impression: Kaguya-sama: Love is War

I have nothing clever to open with, so instead:

"You fall in love with someone, confess that love, and become a couple. Everyone would say that’s a wonderful thing. But they’re wrong! Even among sweethearts, there exists a distinct power relationship! A side that exploits and a side that’s exploited, a side that’s devoted, a side receiving devotion, a winner and a loser! If you’re trying to live a noble life, then you mustn’t become a loser. Love is war!”

— from the opening narration of today’s topic, Kaguya-sama: Love is War (2019)

Episodes watched: 9

Gigguk summed this show up in his video summarizing the Winter 2019 season by saying it poses "one of the most important questions in modern philosophy: if a tsundere and a tsundere liked each other, would they ever find out?" Kaguya Shinomiya and Miyuki Shirogane are, respectively, the vice president and president of the student council at their elite private school. The former is an heiress waited on by servants, the latter worked his way in from a family that is poor by elite private school standards. Both are serious, brilliant, and manipulative, but totally inexperienced in romance and consumed by crushes on each other that they are unwilling to confess because they each suspect the other's crush and want to get the other to admit it first.

This is all summed up at the beginning of episode 1 in the melodramatic intro narration which starts with what I quoted above then carries on for three additional minutes of exposition explaining the main characters and setting. Then again at the beginning of ep. 2. Then just when you think they'll pull it a third time, they fast forward through it at the beginning of ep. 3 and from 4 on they switch to either cold opens or jumping directly into the opening theme. I bring this up because it’s exactly the kind of nice touch this show relies on as it makes the serious and kind of pompous into the hilarious. They knew just how long to keep that running joke going.

Kaguya and Miyuki's almost-a-relationship is shown to us in slice-of-life vignette style, usually three per episode. Like Azumanga's vignettes, these start out as self-contained shorts but gradually turn into multiple segments of episode-long stories as the season progresses. Their strategizing about trying to initiate a relationship is, as you might expect, the main driver of the show’s plot and comedy. Mundane conversations turn into extensive exposition dumps in the characters' imaginations and almost heist-movie-like walkthroughs of their plans as they try to guess what the other will do, and the show finds humor in the sheer self-consciousness and absurdity of those plans -- as when Kaguya and Miyuki both lie about forgetting their umbrellas in hopes that the other will romantically offer to share their own and go through strategic inner monologues about how they contrived this. The show also exaggerates the mundane visually by borrowing from the particular kinds of shots heavy on motion lines and exaggerated movements that would be used for straight drama in an action or sports anime. Miyuki's utter failure to play volleyball would not be nearly as funny if it weren't presented as a training montage.

Each vignette is framed as being a contest between them, and a winner and/or loser (usually just a loser) is declared at the end of most of them. This format is pretty funny on its own, but it would probably get tedious if not for recurring characters who stir things up and upend their metaphorical chessboard mid-game, often leading to vignettes that conclude with neither winning. Student Council Secretary (and close friend of Kaguya) Chika Fujiwara is much more expressive and extraverted than the others, introducing her own colorful and eccentric interests and habits and small doses of chaos that interfere directly with the would-be couple's predictions of each other's behavior -- and turns out to have at least as thorough an understanding of Kaguya and Miyuki's thought processes and habits as they do of each other's. Treasurer Yu Ishigami, a first-year the others do not know well but recruited due to his sheer skill, is the polar opposite of Chika: pessimistic to the point of likely depression and terrified of Kaguya. He is, if anything, the closest the show has to an antagonist when he does things like obliviously offend the other councilmembers or attempt to institute a "happiness tax" on students in relationships. And that's not even getting into Kaguya’s valet/confidant Ai Hayasaka, or the other budding couple who come to Kaguya and Miyuki repeatedly to receive their questionable relationship advice.

Kaguya-sama: Love is War is just delightful and I strongly recommend it. The manga is still ongoing and even though I'm not done with this season yet, I already want a second one.

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W/A/S: 5 / 2 / 3

Weeb: More foreign in execution than content, although there are some specific Japanese tropes that come off as nonsense if you're unfamiliar with them, like Chika saying the thunder god will take her belly button. As mentioned above, there is a lot of visual style borrowed from action and sports anime used for comedic effect, and it's probably funnier if you've seen some uses of that seriously first. Some points at which a joke neither quite translates well nor gets replaced by a joke with a similar that works better in English — most egregiously, an entire sketch that is built around a pun that doesn't translate but also isn't explained, leaving the audience potentially shocked and confused (see Stray Observations).

Ass: No fanservice. Lots of sexual jokes, mostly playing off of Kaguya being not only inexperienced with but sheltered from sexuality, plus the general kinds of comments you might expect real teenagers to make.

Shit (writing): A few bits of the subtitle translation seem clunky or off but I can't quite place why. The melodramatic narrator is very funny at first but his exposition/explanation dumps eventually get tedious. Otherwise, no complaints here.

Shit (other): Yet another show suffering from occasional very low frame rate, but it otherwise looks great and is absolutely full of those exaggerated reaction faces that you get in a lot of comedy anime. There are two different ending animations, which is interesting. Other people online are fixated on Chika's dance, but I really like the other ending, Kaguya's elaborate dream of an action-adventure with the rest of the Student Council.

Content: Nothing in particular.

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Stray observations:

- Hey, uh, translators writing subtitles? Please, please, please, if there is a pun that can't even be replaced by a joke with a similar format in English, put some kind of note explaining it. I had to end up relying on an unverified forum post and Google Translate to piece together the "wiener" sketch in ep. 7. Allegedly, "chinchin" means "begging", then somehow obtained a euphemistic use as a term for penis (the use most weebs are familiar with), then because of that euphemistic meaning also got used as an informal term for sausage.

- My wife has described Chika as basically her type. This comes as a great relief to me, as her usual comments on anime girls consist mostly of identifying way too strongly with all the yanderes.

- A recurring background music piece, used approximately as a leitmotif for Kaguya, reminds me a lot of the theme from Doki Doki Literature Club... Oh dear. Maybe that’s why Yu is so scared of her.

#weeaboo trash #anime review #first impression review #kaguya-sama: love is war

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kansascityhappenings · 6 years ago

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Joe’s Weather Blog: And now for something different… (FRI-3/1)

I know that sounds like an ominous title to the blog…but this is good news (for me at least and hopefully for you too). It actually has nothing to do with the actual weather…it’s more about my role at FOX 4. After doing weekend weather for almost 25 years…it’s time to try something else out for size. Starting on Monday, March 25th, I’ll be taking over the Monday through Friday evening weathercasts.

I’m excited about the new challenges that are being laid out in front of me. I’m thrilled to bring a different perspective to the “traditional” weathercast that you see nightly and I’m overjoyed about being able to bring my weather passion to our FOX 4 viewers on a daily basis.

The thing is…I’m really going to miss my former shift. I loved that shift and if the station had told me 6 weeks or so ago that they wanted me to remain on my weekend shift and do everything else that I did for another 10 years…I’d be very happy doing that too. The reality is that I’m extremely lucky. A TV station rarely keeps a weekend weather person in the same slot for almost 25 years…it’s VERY rare…maybe not unheard of but unique for sure. In the end I just like communicating weather information to our viewers and regardless of what day or time I’m on (although I don’t think I’d be very good at 4AM in the morning). The amazing thing is that I’m still making a living doing the only thing I’ve really cared about doing since the 3rd grade.

Yes the 3rd grade.

Growing up in southern New York…I distinctly remember falling in love with snow. As many of you know snow is still my favorite type of weather to try and predict. It can also be the toughest to get right for many reasons and the fact that we try to be so precise in predicting the amounts is even more challenging to me…but it all started with me liking snow and yes I know after the winter we’ve had so far some of you are rolling your eyes at me right now…I get it. I also want a few 70° afternoons (hopefully with very little wind).

Actually when I talk to my colleagues in TV, or pursuing other weather-related careers…this is not uncommon. For some…it’s severe weather…perhaps they saw a tornado when they were younger or were impacted by a significant weather occurrence growing up. For some it’s growing up and watching me or any of their favorite meteorologists do what they do every night…and just became fascinated by the job at hand. Yes I’m getting old enough now that some have gotten into the world of weather and are telling me that they remember growing up and watching me…whether it be here in KC or when I used to work in other cities.

In late 1994 when I came to KC (can you believe it’s been almost 25 years already)…I actually thought I would stay for about 3-5 years and then move along…as many in the TV world do. The thing is…between the Royals…the Chiefs…the concerts…the restaurants…the lack of terrible traffic (mostly)…the quality of life…and about a million other things…Kansas City has a way of holding on to you. When opportunities presented themselves over the years…it just didn’t “feel” right leaving…in time we just decided to stay here…there was no need to leave..KC offered my wife and I everything we could want. Did I think that I would maintain that weekend shift for almost 25 years…no…but then again I loved that shift…it “worked” for me. Somebody told me a couple of years ago that in the history of KC television…no one has consistently worked weekends as long as I have…certainly not in the history of TV weather in KC. I’m actually sort of sad that that streak will be coming to an end.

The one thing I’ve learned, if nothing else, as I’ve stuck around for so long, is that the grass may look greener on the other side…but often it isn’t…or it’s not what you think it would be like…and perhaps there’s nothing wrong with staying at a successful #1 TV station after all, where your co-workers treat you well…where you’re happy…where you’re respected…and where you’re listened too (and trust me I give my opinions from a forecasting aspect and other things too). Perhaps there’s nothing wrong with carving your niche…doing what you love…being a part of the community (about 1000 appearances over the years)…hopefully impacting your viewers in a positive way (regardless of the weather) and impacting your co-workers with more weather knowledge than they ever wanted to know in the first place…they’re eyes roll too at me sometimes when I’m getting into it. (

)

Our business is changing and will continue to change for the good, and perhaps not so great, over the next 10 to 20 years. Technology is advancing so quickly. In many cases these advancements will allow me to do my job better and different while communicating weather information to you. How those changes ripple though the rest of the industry I don’t know. I do know that as an weather industry we have to fundamentally change the way we do weathercasts to some extent. I’m not talking out of school on this subject…when I talk to groups of my colleagues at conferences I attend…to various organizations in the region that are kind enough to ask me to speak about TV weather and others on a one to one basis…this is one of my mantras.

We have to tell you, our customers, what you don’t know already. We have to tell you what you can’t find on your weather app on your phone…we have to tell you something that, in the end, you just may say to yourself…”I didn’t know that”. It can’t be JUST about temperatures on a map flashing across the screen…it has to be more. I will take this to my retirement (hopefully in 10-15 years)…YOU want to learn something…you want a “that’s pretty cool” moment. That’s my mantra with a weathercast and I try and do that each and every night. Sometimes more effectively than other times…but it’s my goal at least. Trust me, I think my bosses upstairs have heard this “mantra” from me about a dozen times already. It’s just a strong feeling I have deep to my core as a meteorologist.

If your wondering about how this affects other aspects of what I’ve been doing at FOX 4 for almost 25 years…the good news is it really doesn’t change things too much. A few alterations here and there.

The weather blog won’t change at all. Actually it may get posted even earlier in the day…preferably by 9-10AM or so on most weekdays. It’s part of who I am (regular blog readers know that). It’s an extension of me…my passion…and my desire to bring weather information to those who want a deeper dive (some might say too deep

). The blogs on quiet weekend days may get a bit more infrequent…if the weather is quiet…if not…if something important is coming…they will be there as usual. I can’t tell you the satisfaction of so many of you who have stopped me to tell me about your love of the blog. I’m humbled by the fact that the weather blog is often the #1 requested item on fox4kc.com during active weather scenarios. Snowstorms or the threat of snowstorms is a big driver in that regard. If you stop after the forecast…great…if you read into the discussion (the deeper dive part)…fabulous. I just want my readers to be just a little bit smarter at the end of the day. It really is amazing to me how many of you spend at least part of your day reading my thoughts. I’m truly humbled by that…a darn weather blog!

My popular weather segment “What Your Weather App Can’t Tell You” will remain as well for the reasons above.

Joe’s Golf Tournaments…no changes there. This unique program that helps local charities, has just been fired up again for the new golf season (assuming it warms up). If you run a charitable golf tournament go to fox4kc.com/joesgolf and submit your information on the form…I will get it into the calendar and try and promote your tournament as much as possible about 4-6 weeks before the tournament date. I can only get to so many tournaments on the air…and each year over 200 send in their information. This program is the only one of it’s kind in the country and it’s my way of giving back to the community and to the sport of golf…a game I love dearly (and makes me look so foolish).

All the other things that I usually do on the air and on FB and Twitter will remain as well. Feel free to follow along on FB at Joe Lauria Fox 4 Meteorologist and on Twitter @fox4wx.

Finally a word(s) of thanks…

To my wife who puts up with my weather obsession day in and day out. Who watches me hover over my computer morning, noon and night as the new model data comes in, especially if there is “something” happening.

To my mom and dad (now deceased) who allowed me back in high school to get on a train every weekend and take it into NYC to intern at WCBS-TV (in their weather department) for several years and learn more about what I wanted to do. Aside from the weather aspect of things I also learned how to treat my co-workers, whether on screen or behind the camera as equals-hey it’s a team effort). I’ll never forget when I told my dad that I was going to make $200/week back in the mid 80s (before taxes) after I got my first job in TV a month before college graduation. I had to ask him for $1000 dollars or so so I could afford to get some new suits for my new career.

To all my friends and colleagues at the station. So many of them came and told me of their support…I can’t list them all but thank you for all the kind words over the last few months. There are a few people at the station who perhaps were my “bigger”supporters and while I won’t embarrass them…I just want them to know how much I appreciate the honest and candidness of the journey we were going on for the last few months. I also heard from quite a few folks who are connected to KC television, one way or the other, voicing their opinions and for that I’m humbled as well.

After calling my mom and telling her the “weather” news awhile back…the next person who I wanted to let know about these changes was Mike Thompson. I called him about 3 weeks ago to let him in on the news before it got out via social media or whatever. I wanted to give him an update about what was happening and we had a great chat. No need to get into details but many of you may remember the blog I wrote when he left…and those words stand today as well. He’s doing well and is working on a new website now. Through the years Mike was a big supporter of mine as well.

Finally thanks to the 100s of you who got in touch with me via FB or other social media while the station went through this process. I appreciated your thoughts and well wishes tremendously!

Now the most important part of this at the end of the day…

Rest assured that Karli, Michelle and I will continue to guide you through the good weather days and the bad weather days. We won’t change our philosophy in any sort of manner. We won’t hype a weather event needlessly. We’ll allow Mother Nature to do the talking for us. Will we be perfect every day? Nope. We’ll do our best though as we try to predict things that often don’t exist. We do have another teammate who will be joining us at the end of the month..he’s a KC native and I’ve known him for several years…we’ve had some great talks over those years over a few beers…and I think you’ll enjoy what he’ll bring to the weekend newscasts down the road. More on that in a weather blog in a few weeks.

All these changes will start the week of March 25th. So bear with us for a few more weeks while we work through some vacations and shift changes. I’ll be on vacation next week.

I had no idea what to use for a feature picture for this “different” entry. There was no way I was going to use a picture of myself…that isn’t what this was all about…so I decided to use a picture of a sunrise from Tami Camlin…here’s to new beginnings.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2019/03/01/joes-weather-blog-and-now-for-something-different-fri-3-1/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2019/03/01/joes-weather-blog-and-now-for-something-different-fri-3-1/

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one-of-us-blog · 8 years ago

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The Audit (TGG, Season 3, Episode 10)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap The Audit, Episode 10 of the third season of The Golden Girls. As an auditor by trade himself, will this episode be the grand tribute to a wrongfully despised profession for which he has often longed, or leave him with an intense sense of self-loathing? Keep reading to find out…

Jon, I really appreciated your take on The End of Time (both parts), and your criticisms were very justified. I’ve always wished that David Tennant had been given a better send-off than he got, although he still knocked it out of the park for his own part in the two-parter. I also loved your retrospective on the Tenth Doctor’s arc as a whole, and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that DT won you over and made a lasting impression. There is always a transition period for viewers when a new Doctor hits the scene, and that’s part of what makes the show so exciting and eternal in my opinion, but I’m really looking forward to getting your initial thoughts on Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor! Now, it’s time for me to head to Miami for a tribute to a particularly noble, though maligned, profession…

Buttocks tight!

Written by Winifred Hervey Stallworth, directed by Terry Hughes

(Disclaimer: Proofreading this recap, I realized how obnoxious it sounds).

As the episode opens, Sophia is cooking some bangin’ spaghetti sauce, and Blanche is lamenting the fact that she hasn’t had a date in eight whole days. What’s wrong with the bachelors of Miami, anyway? Do they hate having a good time? Is this the beginning of the end of her sensual lifestyle? A couple of verbal jabs at Dorothy lift her spirits, and then Rose enters to present the B plot of the episode. In order to get a promotion that she really wants at work, she has to become bilingual. Blanche is taken aback, and tells her that nothing is worth dating women. Hmm, I know this is just a joke about Blanche not understanding words, but I guess we haven’t come super far from Isn’t It Romantic?, have we? Anyway, Rose will be taking Spanish class at night school. Blanche thinks this might be just the opportunity she needs to meet some smart, sexy, single men, and she wants to sign up along with Rose. I hope she’s ready, because Rose wants to go all Spanish, all the time in order to have the full experience. Meanwhile, Stan also shows up, so you know there’s trouble on the horizon. He eats some of Sophia’s spaghetti (which Dorothy is all too willing to share with him, for some reason), and then announces that the IRS is auditing him…and since they are digging back a number of years prior to the divorce, they are also by extension auditing Dorothy. Stan also tells her that there is going to be a problem; he totes pulled some shady shit with his taxes. The end result could be either a fee, or a prison term. So, no biggie, right?

In the next scene, Rose is preparing for night school by practicing her Spanish, while Blanche is preparing for night school by prepping her bosoms. Stan shows up with all his “tax receipts” (*eye roll*) in a garbage bag, because of course he does. Blanche and Rose take off, and Dorothy and Stan get down to business. Stan’s paperwork is both illuminating and troubling. He wrote off a bad investment in tie bibs, and generally screwed things up. He gives Dorothy an “I could have been a contender” speech straight out of On the Waterfront, and then she actually makes a pleasant discovery. A ring he bought for her was more expensive than she realized, costing $2,500. I’ll do my best to ignore the fact that he deducted this as a gift, which is more bullshit, because gifts aren’t even a thing you can deduct. But the feelings of goodwill are short-lived, as Dorothy also learns that Stan bought himself a much more expensive Corvette and kept it as a secret from her. Wait, how in the heck was he trying to write off a Corvette? Anyway, Dorothy is now piiissed and wants him out of her life for good (uh huh, sure). She doesn’t care if he goes to jail, but she is caught up in all of this with him and hates him for it.

Jumping ahead, Dorothy and Stan show up at a building somewhere to see the auditor, Wendell Murray (Side note: I guess the way they are going to depict this is with the two of them dropping off their paperwork and sitting in the same small room for hours while he pecks away at a calculator, which is not even remotely close to how any of this would work, but oh well). Stan tries to bond with the bald(ing) auditor by removing his toupee, but he basically just insults him. After some sweaty hours pass, the honorable Mr. Murray reveals that they owe a total of $5,000…he even splits it down the middle at $2,500 each since they are divorced, which is more nonse…you know what, nevermind. But if they can’t cough up Uncle Sam’s dough, they could face liens or even jail time.

In the next scene, Rose is up late studying for her Spanish test, but Blanche isn’t sweating it; she already has the test key. Rose wonders if she slept with the teacher, but that’s ridiculous. She only promised to sleep with the teacher until she gets what she needs. Duh! Rose doesn’t want any part of this, as she only got caught up in cheating once, when she fed BBs to her prize lamb for the county fair, and it didn’t turn out well. Dorothy can’t sleep because she’s so worried about the money she owes. She only has half of her portion and she can’t get a bank loan, so she’ll have to sell off some stuff at the pawn shop (Side note 2: Look, I know this was made a few decades back, but it’s hard for me to believe that she can’t come up with $1,250 dollars to avoid jail time; and honestly, if she pays what she does have, there’s no way she’s getting locked up over $1,250, seriously). Dorothy can’t believe where she has ended up in life, and Rose and Blanche have their own musings, which prompts Sophia to deliver her ‘3 Rules for Life’:

1) Hold fast to your friends; 2) There’s no such thing as security; and 3) Don’t go see Ishtar (topical!)

The girls arrive at the pawnshop the next day, and Rose’s attempts to practice her Spanish almost score the girls the cash for Dorothy in an attempted robbery. After things calm down, the owner offers $100 for everything Dorothy brought. This won’t fly, but he then notices her ring. You know, the one from Stan, which we were specifically and conveniently told cost $2,500? He eventually offers her $1,200 for it, and though she is reluctant to part with the ring because it represents something positive about her marriage with Stan (who she just said she wants out of her life forever), she gives in and sells it to cover her debt.

In the final scene, we learn that Rose and Blanche both dropped out of night school. Rose was bad at Spanish, and Blanche wasn’t finding any manflesh. Stan comes by, and Dorothy gives him the check for her half of the tax liability (Side note 3: I was screaming “What?” at this point in the episode…after the stress that this money caused, how are you just going to hand it over the Stan, the architect of all this misery, and trust that he’ll take care of things?). Anyway, he gives Dorothy back her ring. He learned that she pawned it after speaking to Sophia off-screen, and he bought it back for her. To do so, and cover the tax liability, he sold his Corvette. Now he’ll just be a middle-aged bald man driving a Toyota (Side note 4: WAIT JUST A MINUTE, NOW THIS IS JUST GETTING PERSONAL, WHAT IS WRONG WITH BALD MEN DRIVING TOYOTAS, MAY I ASK?). The two hug, and Blanche and Rose hit the town to prowl for men. Stan tries to take Dorothy to bed, and he pays for it.

The End.

Man, where do I start? I’m just too close to this one to judge it fairly. Look, I never dreamed of growing up to be an auditor, but here I am, and I know what the job entails. I feel like this episode is basically depicting what everyone I know assumes that I do for a living, even thought my job has nothing to do with taxes and everything to do with making sure that government agencies spend their funds properly. But I digress. The way that everything unfolded in the episode was pretty (or very) unrealistic, but hey, it’s a sitcom…and it was nice to see Mr. Murray in action. I always have such mixed feelings about Dorothy’s relationship with Stan. I mean, the guy is obviously a tool who has screwed her over in multiple ways, and she needs to just stick to her guns in keeping this cancer out of her life from now on instead of handing him a plate of spaghetti the next time he shows up to prove what a bag of dicks he has always been. But on the other hand, I guess they were married for a very long time, and it’s hard to just forget that such a significant portion of your life and all the associated feelings occurred. I guess the ring thing was sweet, but it was offset by the fact that Stan even let her sweat the $2,500 for the amount of time he did, given that the whole predicament was 100% his fault. Anyway, it’s a fine episode I suppose, but I feel compelled out of principle to give it a score of 2.5 poofy hairdos out of 5.

Be sure to check in tomorrow, when we will get Jon’s take on The Eleventh Hour, the Series 5 premiere of Doctor Who and the first outing of the Eleventh Doctor! And pop back in next Tuesday, when I will be discussing Three on a Couch, the next episode of The Golden Girls. Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!

#golden girls #the golden girls #one of us

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thedivinefish · 5 years ago

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TGIWednesday... and welcoming in the Fall

TGIWednesday News

Welcome to the Fall ya’ll. Yes Monday was the first day... get ready for falling leaves, pumpkin spice everything and dropping temperatures (...in Florida if we can get any drop we’re happy) Are you in the Fall of your life? I strive to enjoy every season and whatever it offers. This past Sunday I was invited at the last minute to see the legendary rock band The Who in concert in Tampa. Uh... Yes Please! Awesome seats? Check. Ear plugs? Check. Full orchestra backing them? Check. Awesome time you’ll never forget just to be in the same room with these guys? Check. What do you plan to do today or this week to enjoy more of the day, the week, the month, and the season? Don’t wait around for something to happen, make it happen. Let’s go, let’s do something fun!

TGIWednesday Download

~ WELCOMING THE FALL ~

I believe, think know and feel that the harvest and horn of good plenty is with me now. I am ready, willing and able to expect and receive more and to give thanks along the way. I know, when, where how and why to follow spirits simple subtle cues following the natural way. I know that every day is a blessing, hard times don’t last, tough steadfast people do. I am asking for this in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

From the Fish Box

“I have had an eye opening experience in learning My Liquid Fish! My challenges were career, relationships and finances like most everybody! In the couple of sessions I have had, it is amazing how things that were blocking my success have been removed. Within the first 2 weeks I have had 2 job opportunities cross my path and a new love interest. I can say that I am a believer and have been using it on negative situations almost daily! My Liquid Fish has opened up my world to have the life I want and deserve! Thank you Jimmy for sharing this!” – T.G. / Nevada

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

THIS THURS. SEPT. 26th - YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION

I am THRILLED to have been invited to be a guest speaker on the Darius Barazandeh - You Wealth Revolution telesummit TOMORROW September 26th!

I know now that this interview will be like none other and that there is a new level of healing coming with MLF and more talk about switches! ... you don't want to miss it! REGISTER HERE NOW and get lots of free welcome gifts too! NEXT WEDNESDAY at 3pm EDT - SPIRITUAL INSIGHTS RADIO On Wednesday October: 2nd at 3pm I'll be taking callers LIVE on air on Spiritual Insights Radio with host Charlotte Spicer. Call (347) 934-0751 or Listen Here Online EVERY TUESDAY at 9pm EDT - JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW Join me and my guests weekly on Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713)-955-0594 It's your chance to get FREE intuitive messages on my weekly radio show. My guests are some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet! Tune in every Tuesday night LIVE or just catch the replay & YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening!

To listen online, click the date links below:

Listen here to yesterday's replay Guest hosted by Rev Debbie Dienstbier Transmedium, communications with your loved ones in spirit. Profound messages from an experienced psychic medium and healer. Visit her Facebook page UPCOMING GUESTS FOR OCTOBER

October 1st – Psychic Joanne Leo Angel card readings and numerology, readings from the heart. www.psychicjoanneleo.com

October 8th – Laura Romiero Will be my guest and she is an awesome angel communicator and reader. https://www.angelsandhealinglight.com/about

October 15th – Mark Hernandez Mark Hernandez is a Holistic Practitioner as well as a certified Body Code and Emotion Code Practitioner (Dr. Bradley Nelson). Mark has intuitive gifts and extensive training in reading subtle energy fields of people and animals, and identifying/releasing energies that can lock into place in our bodies. www.peopleandpetsenergetics.com

October 22 – Sandra Sullivan A gifted Psychic and Tarot Card Reader - http://www.crystalvisionsbooks.com/sandra-sullivan-2/

October 29th – Rev Debbie Dienstbier Our resident Trans Medium communicating with your loved ones in spirit.

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com for a full listing & all replays!

Live In-Person Appearances

EVERY FRIDAY at KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

Tampa folks come see me on FRIDAYs - I'm scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments at Kodawari Yoga Studios from 10am-2pm. Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. 3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/ Book on Friday September 27th October 4th October 11th October 18th October 25th

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

"Jimmy's My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple program is AMAZING!!! He gives you not only videos so you can see the changes within people, but also the books he's written as well! On top of that he's provided all the links and visuals you need so ANY type of learner can do it!! I appreciated having it to download in a PDF so I can go back to it any time, plus the books and ACTUAL healing sessions so you see, know and understand the whole process even better!!Highly recommend to ANYONE looking to change and make not only their life... but everyone's around them better as well!!" - E.J. / Florida

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & Spiritual Healing Techniques ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family. Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails of thanks each and every week!

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

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Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

SEPTEMBER 25th - "Today I will be open and receptive to receiving what life offers me today. I will be thankful and productive. I will be open to all possibilities and gifts today. I will be in faith and in favor."

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack 727.678.0557 EST | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Transformational Healing of Body, Mind & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations! Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads and books to improve your life! Get Certified in My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for Supplements http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2019 All Rights Reserved

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divinefishingtips · 5 years ago

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TGIWednesday... and welcoming in the Fall

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

~ WELCOMING THE FALL ~

From the Fish Box

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

THIS THURS. SEPT. 26th - YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION

I am THRILLED to have been invited to be a guest speaker on the Darius Barazandeh - You Wealth Revolution telesummit TOMORROW September 26th!

To listen online, click the date links below:

October 1st – Psychic Joanne Leo Angel card readings and numerology, readings from the heart. www.psychicjoanneleo.com

October 8th – Laura Romiero Will be my guest and she is an awesome angel communicator and reader. https://www.angelsandhealinglight.com/about

October 22 – Sandra Sullivan A gifted Psychic and Tarot Card Reader - http://www.crystalvisionsbooks.com/sandra-sullivan-2/

October 29th – Rev Debbie Dienstbier Our resident Trans Medium communicating with your loved ones in spirit.

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com for a full listing & all replays!

Live In-Person Appearances

EVERY FRIDAY at KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

LEARN MORE HERE

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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365dailyaffirmations · 5 years ago

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TGIWednesday... and welcoming in the Fall

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

~ WELCOMING THE FALL ~

From the Fish Box

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

THIS THURS. SEPT. 26th - YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION

I am THRILLED to have been invited to be a guest speaker on the Darius Barazandeh - You Wealth Revolution telesummit TOMORROW September 26th!

To listen online, click the date links below:

Listen here to yesterday's replay Guest hosted by Rev Debbie Dienstbier ��Transmedium, communications with your loved ones in spirit. Profound messages from an experienced psychic medium and healer. Visit her Facebook page UPCOMING GUESTS FOR OCTOBER

October 1st – Psychic Joanne Leo Angel card readings and numerology, readings from the heart. www.psychicjoanneleo.com

October 8th – Laura Romiero Will be my guest and she is an awesome angel communicator and reader. https://www.angelsandhealinglight.com/about

October 22 – Sandra Sullivan A gifted Psychic and Tarot Card Reader - http://www.crystalvisionsbooks.com/sandra-sullivan-2/

October 29th – Rev Debbie Dienstbier Our resident Trans Medium communicating with your loved ones in spirit.

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com for a full listing & all replays!

Live In-Person Appearances

EVERY FRIDAY at KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

LEARN MORE HERE

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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advancedthetapractitioner · 5 years ago

Text

TGIWednesday... and welcoming in the Fall

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

~ WELCOMING THE FALL ~

From the Fish Box

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

THIS THURS. SEPT. 26th - YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION

I am THRILLED to have been invited to be a guest speaker on the Darius Barazandeh - You Wealth Revolution telesummit TOMORROW September 26th!

To listen online, click the date links below:

October 1st – Psychic Joanne Leo Angel card readings and numerology, readings from the heart. www.psychicjoanneleo.com

October 8th – Laura Romiero Will be my guest and she is an awesome angel communicator and reader. https://www.angelsandhealinglight.com/about

October 22 – Sandra Sullivan A gifted Psychic and Tarot Card Reader - http://www.crystalvisionsbooks.com/sandra-sullivan-2/

October 29th – Rev Debbie Dienstbier Our resident Trans Medium communicating with your loved ones in spirit.

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com for a full listing & all replays!

Live In-Person Appearances

EVERY FRIDAY at KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

LEARN MORE HERE

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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dydturktek · 5 years ago

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Nem Kurutma | Nem Alma | Rutubet Kurutma | DYD 444 0 719

Animals by using Fraudulent Diplomas Tom is really an all-star.

Animals by using Fraudulent Diplomas Tom is really an all-star. He has provides to attend renowned leadership management meetings and wedding invitations to join instructional honor organizations. Last week, he / she received many anxious emails from universities and colleges reminding the dog that this application was initially due within just days.

In fact , Andrew has actually had component deadlines extensive or waived. And he’s been supplied opportunities to request exclusive scholarships and grants not often open to the public. But his policy all this time has been for you to ignore virtually all appeals.

Due to the fact Tom is known as a cat. Indeed, Tom is definitely talented mouser and a great utterly lovely tabby. This individual does have his or her own email profile, however , that we check repeatedly for your man. Nevertheless, he has been a cat.

Great goal should be to one day make a spot for the Wikipedia set of ‘animals together with fraudulent degrees. ‘

Obviously, Tom is simply not the only cat investigator trying to get a handle on the seamier side associated with online education-related scams. A few of our favorites:

Colby Nolan is a housecat belonging to among Pennsylvania’s mouthpiece attorney generals, who been investigating qualification mills. Colby’s MBA became the source to a law suit with Trinity Northern University.

Henrietta Goldacre secured a diploma throughout nutrition in the American Union of Vitamin Consultants. Although the cat is not with us, his owner preserves her qualification on showcase in a restroom.

Dave Catermanis was awarded a degree throughout communications at York Higher education. According to Wikipedia, the small dark-colored cat (one of a fill of 7 kittens) is currently signed up for medical institution.

Kitty O’Malley (AKA Spanky) worked private for the Florida-based Ledger as well as obtained an increased school diploma from Washington High Middle school. Sadly, the main diploma ended up being insufficient for my child to gain classes to local colleges.

Oreo Collins is actually a ‘tuxedo cat’ whose claim to fame has been her degree from Jefferson High School On the web. The poke was a study initiated with the Central Georgia Better Business Bureau.

Zoe D. Katze obtained numerous ‘well-known’ hypnotherapists certifications and thus was the subject of a document by the American Bar Connection and starred in a current information report by just CBS News.

You can find dogs on the list, but Andrew isn’t since impressed.

Typically the moral on the story is normally be careful related to offers that happen to be too good to be true— quickie entree, scholarships using fees fastened, honors anyone didn’t seriously earn, or even expensive management programs.

And monitor out pertaining to ‘phishing’ trips where internet sites ask for complete personal information to college search or federal loans. You never fully understand where some of this information will end up. At a minimum, you will discover your netmail box filled up with spam. Actually, i know because We read Tom’s mail pertaining to him.

29 Reasons College-Bound Students Will need to Give Thanks in 2011 and probably still in 2012

At year’s end, is actually traditional to allow thanks for all the many blessings received during the previous twelve months and to look forward to the coming year which includes a renewed feel of confidence. The following are fifteen reasons college-bound students should be giving thank you this year:

20. Colleges reducing college tuition nineteen. FAFSA’s new “IRS access tool” 18. Approval to figure on Sophisticated Placement lessons teen. Tuition trade programs 16. Canadian Colleges 15. Grounds tour guides who master the art of walking to the rear two week. Almost 850 ‘test optional’ colleges and universities 13. Organisations with uncomplicated “Score Choice” policies 12. College Navigator 11. The trend toward non-binding early motion policies 10. The liberty to swap ACT lots for SAT’s on the lookout for. Free on-campus visitor parks main. The passing of KOMMET antonym questions— this taken place in year 1994 but you need to continue to be grateful 6. Print overview half a dozen. Net Price Calculators that can be truthful and easy to use 5. Universities with no fiscal some. Applications with NO essay products 3 or more. Colleges necessitating fewer POSED Subject Testing 2 . not Teachers together with guidance expert still prepared write regulations

And most crucial of all:

1 . Family and friends who seem to support in addition to love one!

Best wants for a healthy and Happy New Year!

this FAFSA Comes Live

Joyful New Year! In case you overlooked the merluzo, the online FAFSA application progressed ‘live’ pretty much the same time the periods Square crystal clear ball hit bottom at midnight regarding January very first. And it’s stored in a spiffy new site featuring a couple additional together with that should make your 2012-13 FAFSA experience the greatest ever.

Like I’ve borne in mind before, Domestic Fruitcake Throw Day likely receives a great deal more attention as opposed to the annual start to the govt financial aid year or so, which starts today.

Even so, it’s enough time to sharpen often the pencils, fit fresh power packs in the finance calculator, dig out taxation assessments, and prepare bank information to take on the single most important form recommended to make yourself qualified to receive millions around federal help.

Therefore , when is the right age to file the main FAFSA? Perfect RIGHT NOW !

With a huge number of families rivalling for money this season, you need to post your application at the earliest opportunity. The earlier the exact FAFSA is received, the earlier it will get hold of processed, as well as better located you will be regarding grants together with scholarships. And so many of this cash is academized legit is first appear, first functioned . Grab the picture?

Alternative organizing those. You need your personal Social Security number, license, income tax return, bank reports, and expenditure of money records.

Next, if you haven’t done so already, obtain our security guard PIN number. The two a parent and also the student should PIN’s in order to sign the exact FAFSA in an electronic file. The application is simple there’s no extended any waiting— a PIN NUMBER can be resulted in on the spot.

Though a document application continues to an option (and can help being a tool meant for drafting results off-line), its highly recommended for you to complete the web-based form and submit electronically just to save time. For those who have no access to the internet at home, libraries have web based connections, along with schools normally will make lodging to support online FAFSA filing. Ask your personal guidance therapist or college/career center specialist for allow if necessary.

And always keep in mind that this can be the FREE Applying it for Federal government Student Guidance. Don’t buy PIN’s or application forms. When in mistrust, ask. FAFSA customer service distributors stand prepared to respond online or simply by phone.

That it is hard to overstate the importance of earlier FAFSA completing. Money will be seldom an infinite resource, plus colleges are usually experiencing financial problems much like the rest of united states. They have deadlines and bureaucratic procedures to check out in the groundwork of assistance packages. And a lot of of these deadlines consider much previous you think .

Moreover, don’t postpone just because you haven’t registered taxes nonetheless. Use survive year’s proceeds and plan to amend in the future. Corrections towards original 2012-13 FAFSA may be submitted demand September twelve, 2013.

Because my mother-in-law says, ‘WIGIG’— when it’s went, it’s absent. So operate the quiet time available for you the rest of the holiday weekend to acquire FAFSA going. Why wait?

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yahoo-puck-daddy-blog · 6 years ago

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Puck Daddy Countdown: Happy trails Alex Burrows

Alex Burrows had himself a very fine NHL career. (Jeff Vinnick/NHLI via Getty Images)”n

7. The Habs

On the one hand, the news that Shea Weber is going to miss probably the first two months of the season is a major bummer for a team that was already dealing heavily in major bummers.

Guys want out, and who can blame them, and now any hope that Weber could be anything resembling a No. 1 defenseman after playing just 26 games last year are potentially dashed. It’s not so much that he’s going to miss a quarter of the season, so much as it is he missed like two-thirds of last year’s too.

This is just starting to feel like the Hockey Gods’ way of piling misery on a team already buried in an avalanche of it. “You want to trade the $10 million hospital donation guy for an older, worse player? Let’s see how that works out for you.” Weber’s odds of being as effective as he was before these injuries are probably pretty low. He’s turning 33 in about a month and guys don’t come back from these kinds of injuries playing the same way they used to, right? More concerning for the Canadiens is that he’s locked in for nearly $7.86 million AAV (although at much less than that in terms of actual dollars) through…….. 2026.

I did NHL Network radio last Friday and they asked what potential solutions the Habs could come up with here. Short of trading Max Pacioretty for a top-three defenseman, which would create its own problems, there’s nothing I can see. There are no particularly good defensemen left on the UFA market. You just have to bump everyone up in the lineup and grit your teeth for the first two months of the season. What a nightmare.

Did Marc Bergevin run over a witch’s dog? Like, man.

6. A reason to leave

It’s probably not a good sign when you announce a cheap four-year contract for a player and the immediate response from a bunch of hockey diehards and professional journalists covering the sport for a living is, “Who the hell is that?”

Such was the reaction when the Islanders gave Ross Johnston four years at $1 million AAV. But it’s understandable: Johnston got more years on this deal than he has career NHL goals. He’s 24, had almost 200 PIMs in just 62 games across the AHL and NHL last season, and was in the ECHL for a spell as recently as 2015-16.

This is a guy who is, uhh, bad. He’s bad. No other way to say it. An insanely ineffective player who only got signed because he averages like two hits a game and Lou Lamoriello loves guys like that.

People wonder why John Tavares left? The Leafs said they’d sign Matthews, Marner, and Nylander. Lamoriello probably said he’d get to play alongside Val Filppula.

I mean honestly, look at what Lou has done since July 1. Traded for(!) Matt Martin, signed Leo Komarov for FOUR years, locked in Filppula, extended Ross. Like, what on earth is going on with this franchise?

This team might as well not play this season. They’re gonna be bottom-three, easy. How are you not insanely depressed if you’re an Isles fan? How do you not look at Tavares leaving and go, “Well no kidding.”

5. Back and forth

I think the worst thing in the history of hockey is this Karlsson trade and all the rumors about “Tampa is the frontrunner, now it’s Dallas, no it’s Tampa again, ah it’s Dallas.”

Especially because as Steve Yzerman said on the Kucherov extension’s conference call, he never really felt like the trade was close to being done, let alone completed pending the trade call. Now, that might be a guy throwing out a smoke screen, for sure, but at the same time, maybe not.

This is going back to that thing I said a few weeks ago about not really believing all these things until things are well and truly settled. At this time of year, people have an interest in selling you these rumors, and you’re a lot more likely to bite on them because there’s less going on in the sport.

What would really be funny is if Vegas came out of nowhere and made the trade after a relatively quiet free agency period. I’m rooting for that as much as I am to see Karlsson on Tampa.

4. Being best buds

Because the Toronto media is absolutely awesome and good, they’re already ginning up controversy about how John Tavares and Auston Matthews are NOT FRIENDS AT ALL and ACTUALLY ENEMIES WHO HATE EACH OTHER.

Imagine being dumb enough to believe these kinds of rumors. Because it was like three weeks ago that they were trying to be like, “Auston Matthews is plotting to murder Mike Babcock click here for proof,” and then both of them were like, “C’mon guys,” so we’ve moved on to the Battle For the No. 1 Center Spot: This Time It’s Personal.

I hope Tavares and Matthews just start holding hands all the time so Steve Simmons and Damien Cox end up having nervous breakdowns.

3. Wanting out

So it turns out the Blue Jackets aren’t doing too good with Artemi Panarin these days because he doesn’t really know if he wants to live in Columbus and play for this particular team for the next eight years.

One wonders how much a certain coach has to do with that (ha ha ha), but also like, it’s a small market and a team that historically isn’t very good. I thought they were well above the league average this past season, thanks in large part to Panarin coming aboard, but they still lost in the first round (again) and they’ve still won a grand total of five playoff games in franchise history.

Wouldn’t you at least want to look at what your options are these days? Especially because of how much teams are willing to give difference-making UFAs a la Tavares.

Not that Panarin is Tavares, necessarily, but this is a guy who’s been in the league for three years and he’s seventh in scoring over that stretch. You don’t think a 27-year-old Panarin couldn’t push $9 million with just about any team in the league in the same kind of UFA environment?

Unless I were absolutely convinced I was on one of the absolute best teams in the league, I would 100000 percent be totally willing to go to market. It’s not even a hard decision.

2. Super team likers

Hey speaking of which, shout out to the Bolts for locking in Kucherov for eight years at a relative bargain price of $9.5 million AAV. Most of that’s in bonuses but who cares. He’s 25 and he’s second in scoring over the last two seasons behind Connor McDavid, who makes considerably more than that.

Kucherov for-sure left money on the table here, but that’s the price you pay to be meaningfully competitive for a Stanley Cup for three, four, five years. Plus the fact of the no-state-income-tax thing. Plus the fact of not having to pack up your life. Plus the fact of $9.5 million being a hell of a lot of money regardless of how much more might have been available.

But the thing with this contract, and also the rumors about Karlsson wanting to dictate his landing spot, and also the Panarin rumors, maybe we’re starting to see the NHL going in the direction of the NBA. Maybe elite talents are starting to realize they can punch their ticket anywhere they want, and they want to play with other great players and have a shot at a championship while also getting rich.

I’ve long felt hockey players are too willing to commit to bad teams long term out of, what, loyalty? Maybe they’re finally figuring out that this isn’t necessarily the best path forward. And that might be what finally shatters the stultifying parity that’s made this league so damn boring in the cap era.

1. Alex Burrows

Happy trails to a guy who didn’t make his NHL debut until he was almost 25, and still somehow managed to play more than 900 career games there. He scored 200-plus goals and 400-plus points, largely as a result of getting to play a huge chunk of his career with the Sedins.

But while I understand why people don’t like the player, for obvious reasons, you gotta respect the fact that he’s probably the best linemate the Sedins ever had and made a whole ton of money for a guy who played parts of four different seasons in the ECHL.

Plus he did the Marc Crawford impression that was so good and is probably the best ball hockey player ever. Have a good one.

(Not ranked this week: Slowing down.

Well we’re not even to July 15 and it already feels like nothing’s gonna happen for the rest of the summer. Probably the Karlsson trade will keep us all busy for a few days but otherwise what are we really looking forward to? The damn Patrick Maroon signing? Cool.)

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All statistics via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)

#_revsp:21d636bb-8aa8-4731-9147-93a932d2b27a #_lmsid:a077000000CFoGyAAL #_author:Ryan Lambert #_uuid:49968df0-75e1-3428-bdea-c8c4ba7ae4a6

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wedtease-blog · 7 years ago

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I am highly satisfied with the hospitality, stay and sumptuous Indian food… mouth watering aloo bonda, daal makhni, badaam halwa, parantha, masala chai and what not! Non vegans have an extensive platter too!

Meenal, WED Tease

A close group of influential wedding planners flown down to Sri Lanka from Delhi, Ahmedabad and Mumbai to be a part of this FAM trip. The initiative was taken by Varun Madaan of Vivaah Makers and Kiran Sonawane of Onyx Hospitality Group who planned a comfortable itinerary that included property inspection, stay and food experience.

Varun shares his thought on planning this FAM trip.

I planned this trip with Onyx to explore the market with my colleagues who have been pitching other International destinations for weddings. I felt we were missing out Amari Galle which I find is an amazing destination – its like a home away from home and suffices to all requirements for Indian weddings. The idea was to create more awareness, let them experience the hospitality and the scrumptious food at this property. Kiran from Onyx beautifully executed the itinerary and took care of minutest details giving each one of us a memorable & enjoyable trip. I will always cherish the warmth and hospitality received.

Varun Madaan – Founder, Vivaah Makers

Given an early check-in and an exotic welcome; we were accommodated in OZO Colombo (ONYX Hospitality Group), a night stay in this cosy hotel with a beautiful ocean front. I was given a room on the 8th Floor and the view from the room was an hourly sky – just like a painted canvas.

(Lunch Presentation in Terracotta Clay at OZO Colombo)

Post Lunch at OZO Colombo, we all headed for site inspection at Shangri La, recently opened 5-star hotel in Colombo is a part of the larger One Galle Face development project at the same location.

We got to see the arrangements and preparations for one of the weddings on the day.

Outdoor sites, Bar, Restaurant at Shangri La, Colombo

We were offered Hi-Tea at the hotel and I grabbed some Samosas and Chicken Puff with tea. The team at Shangri La is very hospitable and pleasing who made us explore the entire property.

Post site visit, we all were at leisure and in the evening we hit the Casino Marina. Next day after breakfast, we left for Amari, Galle which is a 2 hours scenic drive through expressway. If you happen to drive from the airport its a fantastic 2 hours 30 minutes (approx.) expressway drive.

Kiran gives us an introduction about Onyx Group and its brand Amari.

ONYX Hospitality Group, one of Asia’s leading hotel management companies, has launched a brand-new Amari property in Sri Lanka’s historic southwest coastal city of Galle. It is my pleasure to host an amazing wedding planning team from my hometown to experience the first Amari resort in Sri Lanka by ONYX Hospitality Group. Amari is the centerpiece of the ONYX portfolio of brands and reflects the warmth and energy of an evolving modern Asia. Proud of its Asian roots, Amari creates memorable experiences that embody the spirit of local culture, as well as enhance the renowned traditions of Asian hospitality. Heading the team at Amari Galle is Hotel Manager Mr Puneet Dutta, along with an amazing F&B team supervised by Mr Indika Jayawardena – Director Food & Beverage joined by a very talented and experienced Chef Neeraj Kumar specialising in Indian Cuisines and Shrey Mehta Assistant Manager Food & Beverage. This exceptional F&B team at Amari supervises the Indian clientele with precision and dedication as its very close to their heart to administer the culture and style of executing a perfect Indian wedding at our beautiful property. Perfected in timeless celebrations down through the generations, Amari has reigned as an exclusive wedding partner and caters to all the traditions around the world.

Kiran Sonawane – Area Director Sales & Marketing, Onyx Sri Lanka

We received the traditional welcome, checked-in at the hotel and headed for lunch.

Lunch was a stomach full of hot servings and a grand buffet – vegans relished paneer makhni, daal, variety salads, continental delicacies, etc. while non vegans savoured Fish and Chips, Mutton fry and other meat palette. Fresh Curd was fantastic after my meals and before I could indulge into succulent desserts.

Some managed Pool time 🙂 and some afternoon nap post lunch.

(Left pic is of few days back when Indian Cricket Team was staying at Amari Galle)

Evening was at leisure and well- spent at Galle Fort (beautiful dutch architecture). Night was happy trippy at BOMMU which is a roof top bar at Amari. We were cheering over IPL, ordering choice of drinks, veg & non-veg snacks floating that were simply mouth watering, signature cocktails we tried and finally I held on Prosecco, my most loved!

Next morning post breakfast, we explored the property and then was taken through the presentation in one of the IDEA rooms.

It was an interesting session with quality questions put across by the wedding planners: (I have jot down few points)

Vimal Roy Bhola, Rudra Events & Wedding Planner : Out of 172 rooms, if we take 120 rooms which is not a buy-out what is the possibility of shutting down the pool? Amari : In this case, 70% of the area will be cordoned and dedicated.

Vimal Roy Bhola, Rudra Events & Wedding Planner : Ratio of King to Twin? And Roll away beds? Amari : 70 King, 77 Twin and 35 Extra beds

Dhaval Chandarana, WEDgurus : Do you work on bottle basis for alcohol consumption and how about beverages for drinks? Amari : Yes! We can work on bottle basis with an additional 30.29% tax chargeable. We charge $15 per person for 24X7 beverage supplies which can be included for alcohol consumption as well. If anything specific, this will be as per final requirement and discussion.

Darshan Shroff, Momente Wedding Planners : Shoulder months? Months at peak? Amari : Shoulder – 15th July to 31st Aug; Low season – April until 15th July; High season – Nov to March; Peak – 22nd Dec to 10th Jan.

Keyur Patel, Prasang Events : Cost of Travel from Colombo to Galle? Amari : INR 2000 return on coach basis. If by car, it can cost around $185 per car.

Puneet Dutta tells us about this destination and growing tourism.

The country has faced three decades of civil war, which finally ended in 2009, and this has left the young tourism industry to find its way in this ever evolving business. Investors now see the potential in ‘The Gold mine’ and lately a lot of infrastructure is developing around the tourism sector. There is visa on arrival and easy flights from Mumbai, Chennai, Baengaluru and Hyderabad arriving into the main Bandaranaike International Airport. If you looking for an alternate international destination, Amari Galle is a great bet! Sri Lanka becomes the most ideal place to host an Indian wedding, reasons very simple — We are so similar in culture, traditions and values. Our teams understand what it means to the family to host a wedding and work towards ensuring an unforgettable event. Language is not an issue here, people speak good english. Natural beauty of Sri Lanka is mind blowing and they call it God’s own country’ for a reason. Amari Galle has direct access to the beach and all 172 rooms and suites, encompassing a balcony or a private terrace provide a direct sea views – None of your guests will complain about the view from the room. We have a very talented team of Indian chefs who will customise every menu. Enough banqueting space options in Amari Galle to ensure no location for an event is ever repeated. The Management team understands how important flexibility is to a wedding and our assurance that we will throw out “The Policy” book out of the window…. We were delighted to host you all and with your in depth knowledge on the event business, I am very sure that we will be able to develop great opportunities and it only becomes better from here… For all those who love smoking….We now have SHEESHA in Amari Galle

Puneet Dutta – Hotel Manager, Amari Galle

During the discussion, King Coconut was most fulfilling … I simply loved its presentation!

Lunch was kept at the Presidential Suite to give us the experience of the room. The buffet was set in the living room.

(I must mention… Srilankan Housewife Soup and Roast Paan (paav) is a staple and I sincerely relished to begin with)

I finally managed to meet the Indian Sous Chef Neeraj who made us drool over Indian, Continental, Srilankan, South Indian and possible non-vegan delicacies and delectable desserts over two days.

Chef Neeraj Kumar has spent almost 15 years in the hotel industry and has worked with brands like Taj Group, Aamby Valley, Hyatt International, and such. He moved in 2017 to Srilanka to work with Onyx Hospitality Group for Amari as an Indian speciality chef.

Indian food is only cooked in Amari in Galle so far. At Ahara, an all day dining has a set buffet of 25 dishes. The specialities that are highly appreciated are Butter Chicken, Idli-Sambhar, Biryani, Dal Makhni/Bukhara, Chicken Tikka, Malai Tikka, Aloo Bonda and Palak Paneer if I have to mention specifically. I source all ingredients from India.. for instance I use Aashirwad for wheat flour, India Gate for Rice and possible hand made masalas. In-house I even make Paneer and some Indian “desi” desserts like desi ghee Badaam Halwa, Gulaab Jamun, Ras Malai and some more that are feasible. We have done around 22 Srilankan weddings till now and I am given special order to add Indian menu specials like Biryani, Butter Chicken, Dal Makhni and Palak Paneer. We recently hosted Indian cricket team 🙂 The fitness coach Mr. Basu was highly impressed and each one from the team relished the food. We have also done a sit down of 120 pax for one of the Pakistani weddings. We are all prepared and will be catering the upcoming Indian weddings scheduled in Oct, Nov and March (hosts are from Mumbai and Delhi).

Indian Sous Chef Neeraj Kumar, Amari Galle

(Chef Neeraj shares moments with Indian Cricket Team)

We truly had an awesome time eating and experiencing lavish buffet presentation set at different venues in the property! (reviews below)

Evening was scheduled to meet local vendors and suppliers over Hi-Tea (we had amazing pakodas)

The night was a total relaxation with dinner buffet set beach side, chilling with colleagues and watching IPL.

Next Day we departed for yet another destination – Anantara Kalutara Resort !

Reviews by Wedding Planners who were a part of this FAM Trip

Keyur Patel, Managing Director – Prasang Events : Sri Lanka with diverse landscapes is booming as a destination for Indian weddings. Amari in Galle is an excellent property and its build up is done considering all the requirements and facilities that is surely attracting Indian weddings and MICE. Venues and views, water and sand, flavour and food… everything is up to the mark and apt for Indian wedding.

Sachin Bagaria, Founder – The Wedding Soul : We had a wonderful experience staying at Amari Galle. The rooms were very quirky and colourful and the vibes of the place are very positive. We had an exceptionally good Indian delicacies right from Mumbai Street Food to South Indian, Punjabi to Srilankan… everything was lip smacking. The hospitality was very warm and cordial.

Dhaval Chandarana & Ankit Bafna, Founders – WEDgurus : Amari in Galle is a perfect location and a very lively hotel. All the rooms have ocean-front and pool facing view. There is a provision of wash and change at Voyager Lounge in case of any waiting time. The venue options are fantastic as you get a mix of beach, pool, banquet and rooftop which serves best in a wedding. The food is excellent and the overall ambience is superb for an Indian wedding.

Darshan Shroff, Founder – Momente Wedding Planners : Thank you very much for hosting us at Amari Galle. It is a fabulous property with great rooms and excellent food. Having a management team which is Indian is a huge plus. Chef Neeraj made the most delicious Indian (& international) food, and we loved it. The hospitality extended by Puneet, Kiran and the team was exceptional. The beachfront venue has tremendous scope for hosting Indian weddings. It has an excellent beach, pool and garden spaces. The Welcome Lounge is quite unique in itself. The rooms and the inventory is just perfect for hosting a good sized Indian wedding.

Jignesh Shah, Partner – Horizon WIE : Hotel has amazing and welcoming vibes. Nicely located in Galle area. Little far from city life and close to Galle fort area. I believe any hotel team can make or break any event. And team at Amari Galle are earger to serve you with smile. There might be better looking property or big resort but it cannot be better in term of experience and hospitality. It is thoughtfully made and perfect place for weddings & event. It has all right mix of ingredients ( beach, open terrace, pool party, big ballroom & mind blowing food) which make Amari Galle ideal place for destination wedding.

Hemal Solanki, Director – Mercury Integrated : Galle has always been considered as one of the most picturesque parts of Sri Lanka. The opening of the Amari has helped Galle to be seen as a celebration destination. The staff is warm and eager to please. The variety of food is diverse. We were delighted to taste some amazing Indian cuisine. A big plus for the hotel looking to attract Indian weddings and celebrations. Perfectly sized with 172 rooms and multiple venues, with a pool in the heart of the hotel and its very own private beach and bay, the Amari is a perfect place to plan your next celebration!

Rohit Saini & Vimal Roy Bhola, Founders – Rudra Events & Wedding Planner : Amari Galle is an appropriate location when it comes to international weddings. With limited flight options, the groups land in early morning hours and cuts-off early check-in concerns in general. Local attractions are close-by to the property. The vibes are very positive and lively. The venue choices within the property are good enough for eg. – beautiful beachfront that can host 250-300 gathering at the beach, banquet hall and courtyard area we feel is perfect for sundowner events, Rooftop gives a 360 degree panorama view that can be great for sundowner, champagne brunch too can be hosted at Rooftop. There is no language barrier from sales to ground staff and they understand Indian culture which makes an immense difference when it comes to other international destinations. The lifeline of the property is the FOOD! We feel Srilanka can become a next hot wedding destination if hotels take a step forward in attracting more weddings, tourism supports improvise, incentives are given to host weddings and taxation which is currently very high can be worked out.

Reach out to us on [email protected] if you would like to receive brochures on email.

Hosting Cricket Teams or Destination Weddings | Amari Galle is the Top Pick | Sri Lanka FAM Trip | Experience and Review I am highly satisfied with the hospitality, stay and sumptuous Indian food... mouth watering aloo bonda, daal makhni, badaam halwa, parantha, masala chai and what not!

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michellemcnamara262003 · 7 years ago

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Your time lapse life

Lately, I have been looking at my life through a time lapse lens. Instagram shots of happy memories, pasted together to resemble a series of happy memories and perfectly photographed food strung together seemlessly like an endless impression of a moody yet flawless john Mayer music video. The time lapse is deceptive, and the magic lenses of a filtered camera has failed to capture the endless endless endless disappointment. When I was an undergraduate, I had a vision for myself. Like all 18 year olds, it was a magical vision. I would be a 4.0 student, a star athlete, the object of every boys desire. Success would fall into my hands, I would be surrounded by praise and affection and I would basically, in its essence, encounter a life where my every desire is met. As most adults know in hindsight, we almost always fall short of the ambitions we set for ourselves. And reflecting back, I believe my first encounters with failure were in sports. I was a scrappy soccer player. Quick, tenacious Nita little too small and a little too undisciplined. I loved the game. I detested most of my team mates. In high school I was put on the junior varsity two years in a row. In biology class, I sat next to a girl who was a soccer legend. She played for the best club team, was on the varsity team and had somehow managed to find herself on the junior national team. I sat behind her and watched her struggle in biology. That didn't seem to matter. She had everything I ever wanted, and I would have gladly changed places with her in a heartbeat- her soccer success for my A in biology. Her athleticism for my 3.56 average grades. But the world doesn't work like that, and the harder I worked, the further I found myself behind, falling short of my ambitions and goals. I switched schools my junior year. I was never going to make the varsity team. My short comings hurt to the point that I was failing at school. My adventures in public school were lonely. I never made friends. I ate lunch alone everyday. The glimmer of popularity I wanted was squished by my soft spoken way of existing, blending in so that no one would see me. I barely spoke my senior year. In English class, I downright refused to speak. It became more of a challenge then a solution. The teacher hardly noticed and again, I blended into the background of the public school system. In December of my senior year I suffered a tremendous loss. While running during a soccer match, I twisted the wrong way. My legs spun in one direction, while my torso moved in the other. I fell, and when I got up, I felt strange. I kept running, no thinking much of it until the game was over. Then, like a bolt of electricity a skreeching, blinding pain took over my entire body. For the next six months I struggled with a hernia. Two epideral injections and an extensive back surgery and I was not in pain. However, my psyche, my sense of invincibility was crushed. I was no longer the kid who wanted to be the best, I was the young adult with a lack of belonging. This was the beginning of the end of my soccer career. I had a bit of interest from colleges, but after this, I was limited. I was bitter. I chose Texas Christian. My dad was proud. I was going to college and playing division 1 sports. However, I just wasn't that athlete anymore. The coaches threatened to cut me multiple times. At the end of the season, they held true on those threats. I was cut. I was gone. I transferred. Centenary was a new start for me. At least it was suppose to be. I was the player from the big d-1 school, come to play at the little d-1 school. But I found myself in a similar place. Too small, not fast enough and just not fitting in. The coach threatened to cut me, but decided to keep me on for a little while longer to see if I improved. I improved, and stayed on for the spring season as a last resort sub. Now if you're hearing this story, you are expecting a Rudy moment. Too bad. There isn't one. I broke my tibia that next summer, red shirted the following season and quit that spring. I was done with soccer. I was tired of the rejection. I was tired of that feeling of not being good enough, because the fact was: I was not good enough. I remember the night I told my dad I didn't want to play anymore. He was supportive, but could t understand. He couldn't get it. Even the coach, chase couldn't understand why. He even made an off handed promise that I would play in some of the games the next season. I quit. I sometimes regret quitting. But I knew it's for the best. I threw myself into school, my friendships. I did well in school. My motivation was medical school. I wanted to be a physician more than anything. I packed my schedule with honors courses and science courses. I made As. Teachers praised me. But in the end, I realize I was a mediocre student with mediocre credentials. I applied to multiple medical schools. I did not even receive a single interview. I was defeated. After college, I moved home to my childhood home. My younger brother was still at home. My childhood wasn't great,and I often get suffocated by the hovering of my dad and grandma, the lack of friends and a lack of purpose in my life. I worked a few jobs: I was a barista at Starbucks, a tutor for an independent education company and a teachers aide at my dads school. It was a lonely year, and I had no friends. I often found myself broken down in tears,wondering if I would ever find my place in things. I had to get out of my parents house. I applied to graduate school with the sole purpose of getting far away. I chose Vermont. I started a phd program having very little sense of what I was doing. I was very close to flunking out of my first year. My grades were shotty. My apartment was a rickety moldy graduate apartment I shared with a medical student who would fill the bath tub up with water and leave it there. She never once took out the trash and did not own a single piece of furniture. To top it all off, she hated me. Not just a passive hate, but a literal, palpable sense of hate. My first lab rotation was a disaster. My first mentor told me on a daily basis that I shouldn't be in graduate school, I had no friends, no social skills and was not smart enough to be in graduate school. She even talked to the director of the program in an effort to get me kicked out. This was after two weeks of being in her lab. Luckily, the director stood up for me. She told me I belonged, that I could change rotations if I wanted, and even offered a rotation I her own lab. I decided to stay, even after she berated me everyday. Every single day. It was like being in an abusive relationship. At the end of my rotation I happily moved on. I joined the next lab I rotated in, for no specific reason other than I had no where else to go. I was there for four years. In those years I was unsuccessful. I didn't publish I didn't find anything new. I barely existed. When it was time to defend, I found myself at odds with a mountain of regret. What am I doing here? What am I doing with my life? During graduate school I made friends. For the first time in my life, I felt connections with people. My first friend in graduate school was a girl named Liana. She was in my graduate school cohort. We were both athletes, and we found a friendship between us. When she decided she no longer wanted to speak to me,I felt that overwhelming sense of depression that I experienced in high school. That feeling that I am weird I. An unironic way and that no one will ever love me. Why she stopped talking to me has a lot to Do with some of things I say being awkward and uncomfortable. I made other friends. I met a guy named Ben who fell in love with my weirdness, I met a girl named sherry who cheated on me, forever changing my faith in people's fidelity and a girl named Maria who truly broke my heart. I also met a drug addict who was semi obsessed with anal sex, a few alcoholic friends and an emotionally disturbed Asian girl who's bipolar impression of me leaves people on their toes when I am in the same room. I also met my wife, mae. I adopted a dog and a cat. I bought and sold a condo. So life hasn't always been bad. It's been good too. After graduate school I moved to Oregon. I gotta job in an inpatient treatment center for kids. I was physically and emotionally abused ten to twenty times a day. Children bit me, threw objects at me, punched, kicked, spit and down right attacked me. I was physically injured multiple times, and even was taken by ambulance to the emergency department. My employment ended shortly after that. I have never recovered emotionally, and I still feel anxious from time to time when I hear children scream. After that incident I found myself finding work difficult. I was j employed for over a month. I took the first job that came my way: an adjunct professorships at university of Portland. At first, I was surprised that such fortune came my way. When I got down to doing the job, I realized how undesirable this position was. One class over 4months ways $3000. After taxes I was taking home $700 a month. Hardly enough to survive. And I couldn't find other employment as this course was taught 3x a week from 12-1pm. One of the professors kindly told me that I would never advance at this institution. I still to this day do not know if she was being brutally kind or brutally aggressive. I left after 1 semester. I didn't fit within the confines of academia. I didn't belong there. I moved to Miami. I wanted a fresh start. I decided nursing would be a good fit. I was somewhat successful at school. I did well in course work, in clinic and in other areas demanded of me. However, I never really fit into the mold they were trying to squeeze me into. I was weird and quiet and uncomfortable. One of my clinical instructors asked me why nursing. I could t give her a valid reason. I couldn't figure it out. I am back in Vermont, still trying to find myself. Still trying to pick up the pieces of my life and put them together into a coherent story. I'm looking for a job, a solid landing pad. I want to join the military. I want them to take my hands and show me that I can be what I want and need. I've babbled for over an hour now. It's time for me to go. I have never believed in god. That has been my choice. But I dwell on things, so I must assume that is a form of prayer.

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flauntpage · 7 years ago

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DGB Grab Bag: Free Agency, Contract Announcements, and Draft Busts

Welcome to Sean McIndoe's weekly grab bag, where he writes on a variety of NHL topics. You can follow him on Twitter. Check out the Biscuits podcast with Sean and Dave Lozo as they discuss the events of the week.

Three stars of comedy

The third star: Justin Williams' hair. The winger's legendary salad was in fine form when it came time to sign with the Hurricanes, as former teammate Mike Commodore made sure to point out.

The second star: Jaromir Jagr. I'm still not quite sure what to make of Jagr's social media presence. People seem to like it, even if it sometimes has that whole "Grandpa doesn't totally get the internet, but we're just impressed he figured how to log on" vibe. But this was funny. I think. I'm honestly not sure.

The first star: The Benn brothers. With the Habs and the Stars reportedly going down to wire on bidding for Alexander Radulov, Jamie and Jordie decided to settle things the Canadian way.

Even better, the joke eventually turned into an official announcement of Radulov's signing.

Outrage of the week

The issue: Somebody signed an unrestricted free agent. The outrage: The contract seems kind of terrible. Is it justified: Probably, since almost every UFA deal ends up being a huge mistake. But since we've now made it through the first week of the open market, let's take this opportunity to do a quick summary of some of the major moves. (As always with this sort of thing, "good" and "bad" are from the perspective of the team and not the players, because in the end we all turn our backs on the noble working class.)

The Good

This is always the shorter list this time of year, but there were some decent signings to be found.

Kevin Shattenkirk. The Rangers get a bargain and kept the term short enough that there's minimal risk. Shattenkirk gets to play for his hometown team and could still have time for one more nice contract four years down the road. Hard to argue with any of it.

Justin Williams. He got good money, but nothing crazy. And while you can make your jokes about Mr. Game Seven choosing a team that hasn't been to the playoffs in eight years, you'd better get them in now—the Hurricanes are going to be good soon.

Pretty much everyone who signed for less than $1.5 million. Hell, lump in Brian Elliott and Ryan Miller, too. These guys are the bargains, and almost always represent low-risk signings. This year, it was interesting to see so many get done right out of the gate rather than waiting a few weeks for desperation to kick in.

The Bad

In the interest of time, we'll limit this section to five names. It could be a lot more.

Karl Azner. This is the annual "not as bad as everyone thought it was going to be, but still bad" contract. Or, as I like to call it, the Matt Beleskey Memorial Award.

T.J. Oshie. The cap hit isn't disastrous, but going to maximum eight years might be. The Capitals sure seem to have made a mess of their off-season, and already had to give away Marcus Johansson. Letting decent but aging wingers walk away for nothing is painful, but it's the sort of tough call a smart team has to be willing to make.

Patrick Marleau. Sure, the Leafs have a ton of cap space, so overpaying isn't the end of the world, but they have a two-year window before the cap gets crazy, and they just gave three years to a 37-year-old who plays the one position that's already a team strength. Even assuming they wiggle out of the deal after two years, it's still iffy. If they don't, it could be a disaster when they're a contender facing a cap crunch in 2019 and Marleau is a $6 million 40-year-old coming off a 12-goal season.

Nick Bonino. The good news is that this year's Dave Bolland cost less than the actual Dave Bolland. So… progress?

Dan Girardi. Steve Yzerman burns an entire season trading away useful players while missing the playoffs by one point, all in the name of creating cap room which he then uses on… Dan Girardi. I mean, I know I've spent the last year completely alone on the "maybe Yzerman is merely a good GM and not the all-knowing Jedi we all agreed he was" bandwagon, but I can make room if anyone wants on board.

The Contrarian Hot Take

The one team everyone else is ripping that I'll kind of, sort of defend.

Dmitry Kulikov and Steve Mason. Both are coming off bad seasons and might, in fact, be bad players. And both got over $4 million a season on multi-year deals. But here's the thing: They got them from Winnipeg. Nobody wants to go to Winnipeg. So if the Jets are going to sign free agents, it's going to cost too much money. Call it the Winnipeg Tax.

I'm always piling on the Jets because their GM never makes trades and their owner never fires anyone, and they just seem happy to repeatedly miss the playoffs by ten points while mumbling about the future. I can't exactly turn around now and burn them for at least trying to get a little better. Ideally, they'd be a franchise that uses all the tools in the toolbox, but until that day comes, paying too much for so-so free agents is marginally better than nothing.

Obscure former player of the week

Now that July has arrived, restricted free agents can sign offer sheets. They won't, because this is the NHL and all that talk about doing everything possible to win is for players laying their bodies on the line, not GMs who don't want to mess up their golf schedule by making a colleague angry. But in theory, it could happen.

There's a reasonably long history of NHL offer sheets, most of which were matched. Not many of those players would be considered obscure. After all, why target another team's player if they're not already an established star? You wouldn't… unless you were a vengeful Harry Sinden, which leads us to this week's obscure player: winger Dave Thomlinson.

Thomlinson has two claims to fame: not being Dave Tomlinson (that was another early 90s forward), and being the most obscure RFA offer sheet signing in NHL history.

He was a third-round pick by the Maple Leafs in 1985, a draft that most Toronto fans remember for other things. He never played for the Leafs, signed with the Blues in 1987, and finally made his NHL debut in St. Louis during the 1989-90 season. He played 19 games, scoring once, and followed that up with three games and zero points in 1990-91. He did manage three goals in that year's playoffs, but by the end of the season he was 24 years old and had never played close to a full season. All in all, not much to get excited about.

Then something weird happened. Ron Caron and the Blues went a little crazy targeting other teams' restricted free agents, signing Scott Stevens away from Washington in 1990 and Brendan Shanahan from New Jersey in 1991. In between, they went after Boston's Dave Christian. That didn't sit well with Sinden and the Bruins, who didn't even believe Christian qualified for free agency in the first place. Sinden retaliated by apparently signing any Blues RFAs he could find. That ended up being tough guy Glenn Featherstone, plus Thomlinson.

Under the old NHL system, the two teams were allowed to negotiate a compensation package, and they ended up just agreeing to swap Thomlinson, Featherstone, and draft picks for Christian. Thomlinson played 12 games for the Bruins before heading to the Rangers and later the Kings as a free agent. He ended up playing a total of 42 NHL games, scoring just that one regular-season goal.

Just think: The NHL is a league where nobody will offer sheet Leon Draisaitl, but somebody once went after Dave Thomlinson. Consider it further proof that everything was more fun in the 90s.

Be It Resolved

Connor McDavid signed his new contract this week, and it carried the highest full-season cap hit in NHL history. That's fine, because as we discussed last week, he's more than worth it. Besides, his deal came in at $12.5 million a season, which was slightly lower than the $13 million that had been rumored.

So sure, all of that was fine, but here's the problem: The Oilers just announced the deal with a boring old media event and press release. The Canadiens did the same for Carey Price, as did the Sharks with Marc-Edouard Vlasic.

Come on, guys. If you're going to be giving out eight- or nine-figure deals, then let's at least make the announcement interesting.

So be it resolved: From now on, NHL teams signing major extensions are only allowed to announce the length of the deal. Then, when it comes to the cap hit, they have to reveal it the way any important numerical value should always be revealed: by using the little mountain climber guy from Price Is Right.

youtube

Just imagine the Oilers having a press conference to announce that McDavid has signed for eight more years, then breaking out the Price Is Right mountain with "$0" at the bottom and "$15 million" at the very top. You're telling me you wouldn't be screaming at your TV once that yodeling started and you had to see how high the little dude with the pickax, lederhosen, and #97 Oilers jersey would get?

You could even have custom price ranges for different players. Jack Eichel's could go from $0 to $10 million. John Tavares could be $0 to $12 million. Dan Giradri's could go from $0 to "literally anything that isn't $0," and the little guy could go shooting off the edge like a skateboarder at the X Games.

Let's make this happen, NHL teams. There's still time before next summer's Austin Matthews contract.

Classic YouTube clip breakdown

In terms of cap hit, the biggest UFA signing so far has been Joe Thornton, who got an $8 million deal to return to the Sharks for one season. That's a big number, but it's fitting for a former first overall pick in the draft.

Of course, Thornton wasn't the only former top pick to hit the open market this week. Nail Yakupov was also available to the highest bidder, and that turned to be the Colorado Avalanche, who gave him, um, not quite $8 million. The Avs will be Yakupov's third team.

Yakupov's already widely considered one of the bigger draft busts in recent memory, so today let's travel back five years to the days leading up to the 2012 draft and see if we can piece together where it all went wrong.

It's June 20, 2012, and we're just 48 hours away from the first round of the draft. The NHL has decided to put together a few video packages on the top prospects to get you hyped up, including one for the presumptive No. 1 pick.

It goes without saying that the Oilers own the No. 1 overall pick thanks to a lottery win. This would be the third straight year they'd have it, which prompted the NHL to create a new rule to prevent lottery winners from winning the top pick again for a period of several years. The new rule was hailed as "completely fair" and "just common sense" and passed unanimously.

Sorry, none of that is true. I just wanted to try to retroactively make Connor McDavid happy for a few seconds.

Our clip starts with Yakupov doing that thing where he threateningly points his stick at you like he's Westley from the Princess Bride. Hockey video people love this pose so much. It's their favorite thing, slightly ahead of the "stick over the shoulders" pose, which we also get from Yakupov a few seconds later. Please note that neither of these poses ever actually happen in a hockey game. Do other sports do this? Do NFL draft picks have to pose like they're going to do a Karate Kid crane kick? I feel like this is just hockey.

"You want skill? Check. You want hands? Check. You want game-breaking offensive ability? Check." And after you're done checking, you will see that Nail Yakupov does not have any of those things.

Wait, is it possible the guy was actually saying "Czech"? Was he trying to tell the Oilers to pick Tomas Hertl instead? He knew! The narrator guy knew!

Next up we get the director of NHL Central Scouting, Dan Marr, who tells us that Yakupov is the sort of player who "just jumps at you." He then presumably adds, "You know, assuming 'you' are a defenseman on the other team trying to stop him from going to your net."

"I'm not like Bure, or someone like Ovechkin," says Yakupov. Wait, he knew, too! Why didn't the Oilers watch this clip before they made their pick? One two-minute video would have saved them millions of dollars. That's inexcusable. (Unless it had an unskippable 30-second ad at the front, because literally nobody has ever waited until the end of one of those.)

All kidding aside, Yakupov was really good in junior. When you're shattering Steven Stamkos records, you've got something. I make fun of him now, but five years ago I was 100 percent sure he was going to score 60 goals in the NHL. I'm still maybe 20 percent convinced it might happen, especially if can turn things around in Colorado and make it back to the NHL someday.

Next we meet Yakupov's friend and teammate, Alex Galchenyuk. He's introduced to us with a shot of him making the same face every Montreal fan makes now when they're told that the Habs might have to trade him because mumble mumble they have too much scoring?

"Like his Russian idol Pavel Bure, Nail is also a game-breaker." No, see, he just told us he wasn't like Bure. I thought you were cool, narrator guy.

We close with Yakupov telling us how much he loves to celebrate goals. That part, at least, turned out to be accurate. Remember when he got a little too excited against the Kings and all the old-school guys lost their minds? That was really Yakupov's first memorable NHL moment. Also, as it turns out, his only one.

"Sometimes it's crazy, and it's stupid." Man, he's not even an Oiler yet and he's already memorized the team's front-office slogan.

That ends our clip. If you'd like to live more of the Nail Yakupov experience, here's a clip of him being drafted first overall and being showered with can't-miss praise. And here's a far better one of him immediately afterward, as some poor rep from Upper Deck tries to get him to do some post-draft marketing that he has less than zero interest in. Seriously, I can't recommend that clip enough. I don't know what kind of day you're having at work, but I guarantee it's not "guy who has to get Nail Yakupov to look up and make eye contact long enough to open a pack of hockey cards" bad.

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them. When someone tells you they are not Pavel Bure or Alex Ovechkin, really really believe them." —Maya Angelou, failed NHL scout.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected].

DGB Grab Bag: Free Agency, Contract Announcements, and Draft Busts published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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