#Happy Independence Day 2021
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Cleantech has an enshittification problem
On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.
EVs won't save the planet. Ultimately, the material bill for billions of individual vehicles and the unavoidable geometry of more cars-more traffic-more roads-greater distances-more cars dictate that the future of our cities and planet requires public transit – lots of it.
But no matter how much public transit we install, there's always going to be some personal vehicles on the road, and not just bikes, ebikes and scooters. Between deliveries, accessibility, and stubbornly low-density regions, there's going to be a lot of cars, vans and trucks on the road for the foreseeable future, and these should be electric.
Beyond that irreducible minimum of personal vehicles, there's the fact that individuals can't install their own public transit system; in places that lack the political will or means to create working transit, EVs are a way for people to significantly reduce their personal emissions.
In policy circles, EV adoption is treated as a logistical and financial issue, so governments have focused on making EVs affordable and increasing the density of charging stations. As an EV owner, I can affirm that affordability and logistics were important concerns when we were shopping for a car.
But there's a third EV problem that is almost entirely off policy radar: enshittification.
An EV is a rolling computer in a fancy case with a squishy person inside of it. While this can sound scary, there are lots of cool implications for this. For example, your EV could download your local power company's tariff schedule and preferentially charge itself when the rates are lowest; they could also coordinate with the utility to reduce charging when loads are peaking. You can start them with your phone. Your repair technician can run extensive remote diagnostics on them and help you solve many problems from the road. New features can be delivered over the air.
That's just for starters, but there's so much more in the future. After all, the signal virtue of a digital computer is its flexibility. The only computer we know how to make is the Turing complete, universal, Von Neumann machine, which can run every valid program. If a feature is computationally tractable – from automated parallel parking to advanced collision prevention – it can run on a car.
The problem is that this digital flexibility presents a moral hazard to EV manufacturers. EVs are designed to make any kind of unauthorized, owner-selected modification into an IP rights violation ("IP" in this case is "any law that lets me control the conduct of my customers or competitors"):
https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/
EVs are also designed so that the manufacturer can unilaterally exert control over them or alter their operation. EVs – even more than conventional vehicles – are designed to be remotely killswitched in order to help manufacturers and dealers pressure people into paying their car notes on time:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon
Manufacturers can reach into your car and change how much of your battery you can access:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world
They can lock your car and have it send its location to a repo man, then greet him by blinking its lights, honking its horn, and pulling out of its parking space:
https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/
And of course, they can detect when you've asked independent mechanic to service your car and then punish you by degrading its functionality:
https://www.repairerdrivennews.com/2024/06/26/two-of-eight-claims-in-tesla-anti-trust-lawsuit-will-move-forward/
This is "twiddling" – unilaterally and irreversibly altering the functionality of a product or service, secure in the knowledge that IP law will prevent anyone from twiddling back by restoring the gadget to a preferred configuration:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/
The thing is, for an EV, twiddling is the best case scenario. As bad as it is for the company that made your EV to change how it works whenever they feel like picking your pocket, that's infinitely preferable to the manufacturer going bankrupt and bricking your car.
That's what just happened to owners of Fisker EVs, cars that cost $40-70k. Cars are long-term purchases. An EV should last 12-20 years, or even longer if you pay to swap the battery pack. Fisker was founded in 2016 and shipped its first Ocean SUV in 2023. The company is now bankrupt:
https://insideevs.com/news/723669/fisker-inc-bankruptcy-chapter-11-official/
Fisker called its vehicles "software-based cars" and they weren't kidding. Without continuous software updates and server access, those Fisker Ocean SUVs are turning into bricks. What's more, the company designed the car from the ground up to make any kind of independent service and support into a felony, by wrapping the whole thing in overlapping layers of IP. That means that no one can step in with a module that jailbreaks the Fisker and drops in an alternative firmware that will keep the fleet rolling.
This is the third EV risk – not just finance, not just charger infrastructure, but the possibility that any whizzy, cool new EV company will go bust and brick your $70k cleantech investment, irreversibly transforming your car into 5,500 lb worth of e-waste.
This confers a huge advantage onto the big automakers like VW, Kia, Ford, etc. Tesla gets a pass, too, because it achieved critical mass before people started to wise up to the risk of twiddling and bricking. If you're making a serious investment in a product you expect to use for 20 years, are you really gonna buy it from a two-year old startup with six months' capital in the bank?
The incumbency advantage here means that the big automakers won't have any reason to sink a lot of money into R&D, because they won't have to worry about hungry startups with cool new ideas eating their lunches. They can maintain the cozy cartel that has seen cars stagnate for decades, with the majority of "innovation" taking the form of shitty, extractive and ill-starred ideas like touchscreen controls and an accelerator pedal that you have to rent by the month:
https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/23/23474969/mercedes-car-subscription-faster-acceleration-feature-price
Put that way, it's clear that this isn't an EV problem, it's a cleantech problem. Cleantech has all the problems of EVs: it requires a large capital expenditure, it will be "smart," and it is expected to last for decades. That's rooftop solar, heat-pumps, smart thermostat sensor arrays, and home storage batteries.
And just as with EVs, policymakers have focused on infrastructure and affordability without paying any attention to the enshittification risks. Your rooftop solar will likely be controlled via a Solaredge box – a terrible technology that stops working if it can't reach the internet for a protracted period (that's right, your home solar stops working if the grid fails!).
I found this out the hard way during the covid lockdowns, when Solaredge terminated its 3G cellular contract and notified me that I would have to replace the modem in my system or it would stop working. This was at the height of the supply-chain crisis and there was a long waiting list for any replacement modems, with wifi cards (that used your home internet rather than a cellular connection) completely sold out for most of a year.
There are good reasons to connect rooftop solar arrays to the internet – it's not just so that Solaredge can enshittify my service. Solar arrays that coordinate with the grid can make it much easier and safer to manage a grid that was designed for centralized power production and is being retrofitted for distributed generation, one roof at a time.
But when the imperatives of extraction and efficiency go to war, extraction always wins. After all, the Solaredge system is already in place and solar installers are largely ignorant of, and indifferent to, the reasons that a homeowner might want to directly control and monitor their system via local controls that don't roundtrip through the cloud.
Somewhere in the hindbrain of any prospective solar purchaser is the experience with bricked and enshittified "smart" gadgets, and the knowledge that anything they buy from a cool startup with lots of great ideas for improving production, monitoring, and/or costs poses the risk of having your 20 year investment bricked after just a few years – and, thanks to the extractive imperative, no one will be able to step in and restore your ex-solar array to good working order.
I make the majority of my living from books, which means that my pay is very "lumpy" – I get large sums when I publish a book and very little in between. For many years, I've used these payments to make big purchases, rather than financing them over long periods where I can't predict my income. We've used my book payments to put in solar, then an induction stove, then a battery. We used one to buy out the lease on our EV. And just a month ago, we used the money from my upcoming Enshittification book to put in a heat pump (with enough left over to pay for a pair of long-overdue cataract surgeries, scheduled for the fall).
When we started shopping for heat pumps, it was clear that this was a very exciting sector. First of all, heat pumps are kind of magic, so efficient and effective it's almost surreal. But beyond the basic tech – which has been around since the late 1940s – there is a vast ferment of cool digital features coming from exciting and innovative startups.
By nature, I'm the kid of person who likes these digital features. I started out as a computer programmer, and while I haven't written production code since the previous millennium, I've been in and around the tech industry for my whole adult life. But when it came time to buy a heat-pump – an investment that I expected to last for 20 years or more – there was no way I was going to buy one of these cool new digitally enhanced pumps, no matter how much the reviewers loved them. Sure, they'd work well, but it's precisely because I'm so knowledgeable about high tech that I could see that they would fail very, very badly.
You may think EVs are bullshit, and they are – though there will always be room for some personal vehicles, and it's better for people in transit deserts to drive EVs than gas-guzzlers. You may think rooftop solar is a dead-end and be all-in on utility scale solar (I think we need both, especially given the grid-disrupting extreme climate events on our horizon). But there's still a wide range of cleantech – induction tops, heat pumps, smart thermostats – that are capital intensive, have a long duty cycle, and have good reasons to be digitized and networked.
Take home storage batteries: your utility can push its rate card to your battery every time they change their prices, and your battery can use that information to decide when to let your house tap into the grid, and when to switch over to powering your home with the solar you've stored up during the day. This is a very old and proven pattern in tech: the old Fidonet BBS network used a version of this, with each BBS timing its calls to other nodes to coincide with the cheapest long-distance rates, so that messages for distant systems could be passed on:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FidoNet
Cleantech is a very dynamic sector, even if its triumphs are largely unheralded. There's a quiet revolution underway in generation, storage and transmission of renewable power, and a complimentary revolution in power-consumption in vehicles and homes:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/12/s-curve/#anything-that-cant-go-on-forever-eventually-stops
But cleantech is too important to leave to the incumbents, who are addicted to enshittification and planned obsolescence. These giant, financialized firms lack the discipline and culture to make products that have the features – and cost savings – to make them appealing to the very wide range of buyers who must transition as soon as possible, for the sake of the very planet.
It's not enough for our policymakers to focus on financing and infrastructure barriers to cleantech adoption. We also need a policy-level response to enshittification.
Ideally, every cleantech device would be designed so that it was impossible to enshittify – which would also make it impossible to brick:
Based on free software (best), or with source code escrowed with a trustee who must release the code if the company enters administration (distant second-best);
All patents in a royalty-free patent-pool (best); or in a trust that will release them into a royalty-free pool if the company enters administration (distant second-best);
No parts-pairing or other DRM permitted (best); or with parts-pairing utilities available to all parties on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best);
All diagnostic and error codes in the public domain, with all codes in the clear within the device (best); or with decoding utilities available on demand to all comers on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best).
There's an obvious business objection to this: it will reduce investment in innovative cleantech because investors will perceive these restrictions as limits on the expected profits of their portfolio companies. It's true: these measures are designed to prevent rent-extraction and other enshittificatory practices by cleantech companies, and to the extent that investors are counting on enshittification rents, this might prevent them from investing.
But that has to be balanced against the way that a general prohibition on enshittificatory practices will inspire consumer confidence in innovative and novel cleantech products, because buyers will know that their investments will be protected over the whole expected lifespan of the product, even if the startup goes bust (nearly every startup goes bust). These measures mean that a company with a cool product will have a much larger customer-base to sell to. Those additional sales more than offset the loss of expected revenue from cheating and screwing your customers by twiddling them to death.
There's also an obvious legal objection to this: creating these policies will require a huge amount of action from Congress and the executive branch, a whole whack of new rules and laws to make them happen, and each will attract court-challenges.
That's also true, though it shouldn't stop us from trying to get legal reforms. As a matter of public policy, it's terrible and fucked up that companies can enshittify the things we buy and leave us with no remedy.
However, we don't have to wait for legal reform to make this work. We can take a shortcut with procurement – the things governments buy with public money. The feds, the states and localities buy a lot of cleantech: for public facilities, for public housing, for public use. Prudent public policy dictates that governments should refuse to buy any tech unless it is designed to be enshittification-resistant.
This is an old and honorable tradition in policymaking. Lincoln insisted that the rifles he bought for the Union Army come with interoperable tooling and ammo, for obvious reasons. No one wants to be the Commander in Chief who shows up on the battlefield and says, "Sorry, boys, war's postponed, our sole supplier decided to stop making ammunition."
By creating a market for enshittification-proof cleantech, governments can ensure that the public always has the option of buying an EV that can't be bricked even if the maker goes bust, a heat-pump whose digital features can be replaced or maintained by a third party of your choosing, a solar controller that coordinates with the grid in ways that serve their owners – not the manufacturers' shareholders.
We're going to have to change a lot to survive the coming years. Sure, there's a lot of scary ways that things can go wrong, but there's plenty about our world that should change, and plenty of ways those changes could be for the better. It's not enough for policymakers to focus on ensuring that we can afford to buy whatever badly thought-through, extractive tech the biggest companies want to foist on us – we also need a focus on making cleantech fit for purpose, truly smart, reliable and resilient.
Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/26/unplanned-obsolescence/#better-micetraps
Image: 臺灣古寫真上色 (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Raid_on_Kagi_City_1945.jpg
Grendelkhan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ground_mounted_solar_panels.gk.jpg
CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en
#pluralistic#procurement#cleantech#evs#solar#solarpunk#policy#copyfight#copyright#felony contempt of business model#floss#free software#open source#oss#dmca 1201#interoperability#adversarial interoperability#solarization#electrification#enshittification#innovation#incumbency#climate#climate emergency
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I've never been more heartbroken in my life.
I was gobsmacked in 2016, don't get me wrong. I was devastated and frightened and shaken beyond words. I even had to go behind a wall and collect myself at one point that horrible November 9th, 2016, after colliding with a man wearing a red MAGA hat at work. A good chunk of us at work talked amongst ourselves about it, offering each other comfort.
But this? This is different. I could imagine dumb people making excuses for voting for Trump in 2016 -- saying that they thought a businessman would be good for the economy, saying that they wanted someone who wasn't a "Washington insider" like Hilary Clinton. Sure, it was stupid, but people can be stupid. Quite frankly, a lot of people are stupid, in this country and otherwise.
But now? Anyone who voted for Trump now has voted for a man who not only rounded up immigrants and put them in concentration camps separated from their families; bungled the response to COVID-19 so badly that the American death toll easily surpassed every other country on Earth; has poisoned the Supreme Court to the extent that they overturned years of precedence with Roe V. Wade and has basically given Trump cart-blanche to do whatever he wants while he's president; was the first president in history to refuse to concede on election day; was impeached for crimes in office not once but TWICE; was instrumental to and passionately supportive of the full-on attempted coup at the U.S. capitol on January 6, 2021 that could've very easily resulted in the deaths of his own Vice President and multiple members of Congress; has spoken glowingly of despots like Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un and even said he will be "a dictator on day one" if elected again; has both used slogans originally used by modern American Neo-Nazis ("America First") and purportedly told one of his ex-subordinates that he wanted generals like Adolf Hitler's...but also has by the day proven more and more just how mentally inept, vindictive, and mean-spirited he truly is.
And unlike in his previous races, Trump is ahead in the popular vote too. We can't just blame this on the electoral college being antiquated and gerrymandered AF like in the Trump-Clinton or Bush-Gore elections. Even if all of the third-party voters in this country had grown a bloody brain cell and voted for Harris so as to show solidarity against Trump and his form of American fascism, it still somehow wouldn't be enough. We could potentially blame this on lower voter turn-out -- according to what I'm seeing so far, even with all the votes not counted in this race yet, it looks like there were far less votes cast this election than in the last one, though likely still more than the 2016 race. But even so, I don't think that's the only problem. I truly think there were just a lot of people who turned out en-masse to vote for Trump. And all I can think in regards to those people is...
This is beyond stupidity or even selfishness. This is cruelty. This is large swaths of people deciding that they want fellow American citizens to suffer -- because in their minds, if those people suffer, that'll somehow make them happy. This is a large chunk of America saying, "yeah, you know all that crap about 'liberty and justice for all'? Screw that, I want a 'strong man' to bully people different from me for my own amusement." And -- perhaps -- there's also an element of feeling like their vote doesn't really have any consequences for them, so why should they care if the man they voted for is a god-awful person? It's not like that man will hurt them.
I had hoped. I had hoped, seeing the outpouring of support from liberals, independents, and conservatives for Harris/Walz. I'd hoped, seeing how many ex-Trump appointees were standing up against him, how much people were shouting their disdain for Project 2025 from the rooftops, and how many women were protesting in the face of Roe V. Wade being overturned. I truly had started to hope that America would prove we'd grown beyond our country's own original sin -- how our United States preached freedom for all while still being built on the backs of slaves and refusing to grant a vote to over half their population -- by electing a smart, successful, charismatic woman of color who sees our country as great in potential and wants us to pursue that potential as our first female president, rather than backtracking all the slow progress we've made over the last 200+ years.
But now...my hope has faded. My heart is in pieces and the world is so dark. I hardly know how I'll function at work tomorrow, even if I know somehow, I have to try. We'll all have to stand somehow. Somehow, someway...we'll have to find the strength. We'll have to stand, and we'll have to keep moving forward, even when it feels like we're a Little Mermaid walking on knives.
We'll have to stand.
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Hearts in Conflict
Lance Stroll x Mob!Reader
Warnings: Arranged marriage, Mob stuff (violence, murder, blood and guns) angst with a happy end
Summary: Your arranged marriage was something you never wanted, but much like with anything in life, you will deal with it one way or another.
A/N: People like to say how Lance's father is like a Mobster/Gangster, well I turned the tables.
You were supposed to take over your father's empire, not marry a rich boy.
You were supposed to become the next boss, not the wife of a spoiled brat.
And yet, your father decided to marry you to a Stroll.
Lance Stroll, is a Canadian and Belgian racing driver competing under the Canadian flag in Formula One. He has driven for Aston Martin since 2021.
According to Wikipedia at least.
But in your eyes, your father's latest attempt to have you marry someone.
You made 3 boys run already, you don't know why he insisted on this stupid idea.
"You will marry Stroll and it is final."
But you also didn't want to play the part of the spoiled princess who refused to get married.
You let out a long sigh as you entered the restaurant.
You tried your best to put a smile on as you sat down at the table, Lance wasn't here just yet.
But he arrived only two minutes later.
"Hi," he said and you smiled.
"Hello, I'm Y/N Y/L/N."
"Lance Stroll, please call me Lance."
He was respectful, a gentleman. But even so, you didn't want a husband, you didn't need one.
"How do you feel about what our fathers arranged?" you asked him after long conversations. You wanted to get to the point.
"I'm not going to lie, I didn't like it. I thought you would be a brat who just wanted my family's money. But now that we spoke, I realize that is not the case, and I assume from your question that you didn't want to marry me either."
"I wanted my father's company, not yours. But he is relentless about me needing a husband."
"I heard you drove away 3 potential candidates."
"Christopher Crooke, a playboy wannabe with a cocaine addiction. Stephen Fringo, a Spanish asshole who thinks women belong in the kitchen and just last month, Alfred Smith, an American asshole with three baby mamas and millions in credit card debt. I wouldn't really say they had potential."
"And what about me? What do you think about me? Be honest and I shall do the same."
"You go first," you said hoping he would do it so you would know how hard to go in on him.
"Alright, if the Lady wishes. I think you are stunning, that is the first thing I noticed, you are beautiful and smart. Very smart. I'm trying to figure out what the problem is with you, you are strong, independent and clever. There has to be a but. I'm looking for that. So, you go then, what do you think of me?"
"My first impression was almost the same as yours. Handsome, but the moustache does nothing for you. I thought you would be a spoiled brat and to a certain degree, I was correct. But I'm the same, I'm riding on my father's name just as much. I know you don't do drugs, you wouldn't be able to be an F1 driver. No baby mamas or recent girlfriends. Your lisp is annoying and cute and the same time. For me, your but is that you are way too normal. Rich, yes, but way too normal. For you, my but will be when you realize what my family business is because it is not cars and corporations." you smiled as you stood up. "I'm looking forward to our next meeting. I have to leave now as I have another meeting to attend. Good day." and with that, you left.
Leaving Lance sitting at the table, stunned.
He liked you.
And he had to call his father.
---
"Mobsters?! Are you kidding me, Dad? You want me to marry someone that kills people?"
"They don't kill people. They just blackmail them."
"That's even worse!"
"Her family is rich and influential. Just the mention of their name brings fear and respect in people. Word about your marriage with her will spread like fire and then our name will become one with theirs. This is a chance you won't turn down, Lance." Lance looked at his father in disbelief.
---
"So, how was your meeting with Lance?" your father asked as your order arrived. You waited until the waiters were gone.
"He is my type, Dad, you know that. He has a certain boyish charm."
"So? Will you marry him? I mean you did check his background already. He is clean. No baby mamas, drug addictions or prior arrests.”
“He is a brat. Rich. And handsome.”
“You must like him. You called him handsome twice already.” Unfortunately, your father did have a point.
You hated it when he had a point.
—-
Your next meeting with Lance was set for Saturday. You told your assistant to set a date, but you were informed that Lance will have a qualifying race. So, you decided to fly to Australia and meet him, well truly, it would be a surprise for him.
His father knew about and encouraged you to meet with Lance, so he gave you an all-access VIP badge.
You even got yourself a guide who showed you around.
It was all very interesting, you got to see the Ferrari paddock closer and even caught a glimpse of Max Verstappen himself.
And you got to ask many many many questions.
But soon, you found yourself in an air-conditioned room with a cold drink in your hand as the qualifying began.
You were lucky enough to be in a good spot where you could see the start line.
You wouldn’t say you were a fan, but you did enjoy it.
Even if Lance didn’t qualify high on the board.
You enjoyed the vibes. It was all so fast, everyone in there.
But you also noticed the smug behaviour of many people.
Influencers were invited to advertise the event and F1 as a whole.
You did not like that part.
Pretending to be interested only to receive free tickets? You paid for your own even if you got it as a present.
You smiled when you saw Lance enter the room you were in.
"Why are you here?"
"Harsh. Your father invited me." technically you weren't lying per say.
But it was also not the truth. "And I did want to see you."
"I know about your family business."
"Why did you say it like that?"
"Because you are a murderer."
"Harsh, again but also false. I have never killed anyone."
"Then you ordered someone to kill them, don't play with me. I can't believe my father set me up for this!"
"Well, believe it or not, we will be married by the end of the summer break."
"Over my dead body." his voice was cold, it excited you. You liked it possibly way too much.
There was a fire in him.
"You can either continue to deny the facts or accept them. Believe me Lance, I will not leave just because you wish it. The decision is out of our hands."
"My father will hear about this."
"Alright Malfoy, do as you please." You put your sunglasses back on and continued to sip your drink.
---
You went wherever Lance went, following him almost like a shadow, all part of his father's plan.
He told you to just keep trying and be stubborn because his son is a very stubborn man as well.
No matter what Lance threw at you, you simply smiled and continued.
You didn't give up but you did start to notice changes in your future husband.
Lance slowly but surely warmed up to you.
You even had dinner one time. And it was very nice.
It started to feel like Lance was slowly accepting the fact that you two were to marry. And so every effort you made didn't meet with a brick wall.
You asked him on dates and he did the same. He showed you his hobbies.
One time, he asked you to go biking with him.
It wasn't really your thing, but you did end up going.
He fell. And he fell hard.
And it was all your fault.
You were being playful and it caused him to lose balance. You didn't push him or run into him.
But it was your fault still.
You sat in the corridor of the hospital waiting for his doctor to get you when your phone rang.
It was his father.
"Sir?" you tried to hide it, but it was obvious from your voice that you have been crying.
"Y/N, what happened how is he?"
"It was my fault. He fell during a bike ride, he hurt his hands... The doctor is in there with him, I don't know what's going on." you took a deep breath. "I'm so scared."
"Darling, it will be fine, I'm going there right now, please call me as soon as you hear something."
"I will." you ended the call just as the doctor came to get you.
"How is he?" you asked, desperate for any answers.
"The scans showed I had a fracture and displacement in my right wrist, a fracture in my left wrist, a partial fracture in my left hand and another fracture in the big toe on my right foot. He will have to undergo surgery."
"Fuck." you said and took a deep breath. "Can I see him?" the doctor only nodded and left you alone.
"Lance?" it was terrible seeing him in hospital. Your heart broke into a million tiny pieces.
"Why are you crying?"
"This is all my fault. I was so stupid." you admitted as more tears fell. "I ruined your life, your career. I will speak with my father, arranged marriage or not."
"Slow down. This wasn't your fault. I ran into that curb and fell. I should have been looking where I was going. You didn't ruin anything, Y/N. And secondly, why would you talk to your father?"
"I feel so bad. I made you fall." he rolled his eyes as you continued to cry.
"Please, don't cry. You were laughing so beautifully only a couple of hours ago."
"How can I laugh at this, Lance?"
"Come on now, I will be fine! The doctor said it will all be good, I will have the surgery tomorrow. Please calm down, everything will be fine."
"Your father is on his way, he will be soon. I'll... I'll get myself something to drink." you said and he nodded.
Hoping you would be back soon, but your pain and guilt took you over. Instead, you wrote a small letter and asked a nurse to give it to him in about three hours.
And you left.
You walked out of that hospital with the guilt of ruining a life.
---
What's better than a pity party?
Being alone, with an ice cream and Bridgett Jones playing on the TV.
Running away was not your style. But what more could you do?
You left for Greece, got on one of your father's many yacht and cried yourself to sleep every night.
They tried to call you, look for you but couldn't find you.
You only picked up the phone for your father.
"Lance was here today. His surgery went well but he is looking for you. He says he won't give up."
"How he used to hate me. He should be happy the wedding is off."
"I really don't think the boy will give up, Darling."
"Okay, can you set up a date for me?"
"What's your plan?"
"Show him the real me."
"Poor boy." your father said before he hung up the phone.
---
Throughout your entire life, you looked up to your father.
You never knew your mother but it was okay. Your father was enough.
Even as a young girl, he taught you stuff no one should know let alone a 5 year old. He always had a plan and he loved you.
But no 5 year old should have a panic room attached to their bedroom in case her father's enemies found him.
But it was your life.
When the idea of marriage came to play your father had a lot of options for you.
He allowed you to choose.
Lance Stroll caught your eye. He was so different, yet similar to you.
Many people didn't like him, thinking he was only an F1 driver because of his father. Something you could relate to. People often said how you are leaning on your father too much.
Not exactly the words they choose.
He was handsome and the world of professional drivers excited you.
And so, you went on a date with him.
That stupid date now turned your life upside down.
Falling in love was the goal. But after you ruined his life, you knew better than to keep going.
So, you set him free. No arranged marriage.
And yet, he kept looking for you.
Much like now, as he entered the restaurant, looking everywhere for you and he finally found you.
He wanted to run to you but one of your bodyguards stopped him and made him sit before they left you alone.
"Why are we here? I was hoping you would come home." he said as a waiter placed your drinks in front of you.
"Lance, I know you didn't want this marriage. So, I made it... dissapear."I know this is all because you feel guilty about my injury but it wasn't your fault and I'm fully healed now. You didn't ruin my career."
"But I could have. I could have and it was just such a simple moment, Lance. Such a tiny mistake on my part and-"
"I'm not a child! I'm sick of you, my father and the entire world pretending that I am one! I fell because of my own stupidity. I was watching you when I should have been watching where I was going. All because I fell in love with you and your smile just... It just made me so happy. Because in that moment, on that small country road, I wasn't a rich kid who drives in F1 and you weren't the daughter of a powerful Mobster. We were simply a man and a woman in love." you felt a tear run down your cheek as he let out a long sigh. "How dare you spend all those months smiling at me and then during the first problem you run away?"
His words hurt, but only because you knew he was right.
"One night when I was only fourteen, I thought it would be fun to sneak out with my friends. There was a boy I liked, Jake, he was older as well. He was nothing like you, Lance. He was... aggressive. I didn't see it then, but during that night, he tried to drug me and kill me. Apparently, my father was the reason his father died, so he decided to kill me to hurt my father. Everyone I ever knew only cared about me for my money. I know you understand that. I never knew love and it fucking scares me. Of course, I ran Lance. The first time I have ever felt love and I ruin it? Scares me so much. I rather lose you than have you hate me like others do."
"We are in the same boat, you just didn't notice me yet. We do have a lot to talk about but please, do not push me away. I'm only here to beg you to not leave me, we don't need marriage in the mix. Just please... give us a chance. I love you."
"I love you too. Fuck I do..."
You looked into his eyes and all of the plans you had for the night went out the window.
Your pity party was long over.
You wanted this man.
And you always got what you wanted.
#lance stroll x y/n#lance stroll#f1 lance stroll#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#formula 1#f1 imagine#formula one#lance stroll imagines#lance stroll x reader#lance stroll imagine#lance stroll x you#f1 lance stroll x reader#f1 lance stroll x you#f1 one shot#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#lance stroll AU#arranged marriage
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Prologue
I’ve always said that the world is a different place for the heartbroken. It moves on a different axis, at a different speed. Time skips backwards and forwards fleetingly. The heartbroken might go through thousands of micro-emotions a day trying to figure out how to get through it without picking up the phone to hear that old familiar voice. In the land of heartbreak, moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion are intricately woven together with grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness. Imagining your future might always take you on a detour back to the past. And this is all to say, that this is my version of Red.
Musically and lyrically, Red resembled a heartbroken person. It was all over the place, a fractured mosaic of feelings that somehow all fit together in the end. Happy, free, confused, lonely, devastated, euphoric, wild, and tortured by memories past. Like trying on pieces of a new life, went into the studio and experimented with different sounds and collaborators. And I’m not sure if it was pouring my thoughts into this album, hearing thousands of your voices sing the lyrics back to me in passionate solidarity, or if it was simply time, but something was healed along the way.
Sometimes you need to talk it over (over and over and over) for it to ever really be… over. Like your friend who calls you in the middle of the night going on and on about their ex, I just couldn’t stop writing.
This will be the first time you hear all 30 songs that were meant to go on Red. And hey, one of them is even ten minutes long.
Sincerely,
Taylor
— Taylor Swift, Red (Taylor's Version) (2021)
#taylor swift#tswiftedit#taylorswiftedit#album notes#red tv booklet#2021#mine#edits#taylor#mermaidinthecity
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Karan Soni and Jonathan Groff are well-known for their blockbusters – but their latest project, the critically acclaimed indie A Nice Indian Boy, marks a welcome gear change.
The guys discussed their new film, currently rated 100% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, with Attitude alongside director Roshan Sethi at last night’s BFI London Film Festival screening at the Curzon Mayfair.
Asked to sum up the film’s plot, Karan said: “My character meets Jonathan’s character, we fall in love, and then I have to introduce him to my very traditional Indian family. He has to win them over before the wedding.”
Added Jonathan: “I just watched the movie for the first time a couple of days ago; I wanted to see it in a theatre, not a link on my laptop. And I was so overwhelmed by the power of this movie.”
“I’ve been saying the movie is for everyone – for queer people, for not queer people, for Indian people, not Indian people,” Roshan meanwhile told us.
Sharing feedback he’s received from parents at screening Q&As, Karan said: “They spoke about their own journey, with not going to their children’s weddings. They’ve come to peace with it years later, but they’ve missed chunks of their lives with their children. A lot of them spoke about, if they had a version of this movie earlier, maybe would have bridged that gap sooner.”
Jonathan, of course, is known for his work in the two Frozen films and 2021’s The Matrix Resurrections, plus popular TV shows like Glee and Looking. The Tony Award-winner is also a stage veteran, with credits including Hamilton and Merrily We Roll Along.
“That would be amazing if that happened,” said Jonathan of the possibility of fans of his studio films supporting this title. “That, in some ways, is out of our control. But in my gut, I feel like great work and great art finds its way. I believed in this script and this team. … Happily, if there are people who are Glee or Frozen or Mindhunter or musical theatre fans, I’m so happy to bring them this story. But I think the movie is powerful enough to bring people on its own accord.”
Describing the plot of the film, Roshan said: “We shot a dance sequence that appears somewhere in the movie. It was tremendously difficult, but very memorable!” And asked for standout feedback to the film, he said: “Probably from my mother, who said she understood me in a way she hadn’t before! It was very sweet, very moving.”
Reflecting on the importance of film criticism, Roshan said: “It’s the most important thing. This is my second independent film, and third overall. In each case, independent films in particular, … survive on the critics’ response. That’s what gets the attention of distributors, who are all reading every single review and looking at the Rotten Tomatoes score. It [makes it] easier to make the next movie as well. It makes a huge, huge difference. Also, people at the distributors often don’t believe there’s an audience for a movie. Critics often prove that there is.”
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Hi, Esi!
I just read the tags of your omegaverse reblog and I'm really 👀 thinking about maxiel and sounds. Who's the omega? Daniel or Max? And I'd like to know if you have any idea about them crooning when the other one is stressed or feeling bad kkfheiahgiwhs It seems something so sweet!!!!
Hello friend!!!
This is in reference to this post and my tags and I haven't had the occasion to properly brainstorm about it yet but !!!
This could change if i actually write this (maybe i could even switch it up for different sounds? who knows what the inspiration will bring) but I am partial to omega Max.
I think Daniel doesn't really care about being an alpha. His parents raised him to think everyone is important as a person first and their secondary gender is just that: secondary. But he still has alpha instincts, especially when he is in the paddock, surrounded by so many other alphas, when the emotions of the weekend run high. There have been times when he has growled at someone and times when he had to retreat to his own driver room to not get too aggressive with someone else.
He is more susceptible to those feelings (the aggressive posturing ones) than the protective ones, but those still exist.
And then Max happens. Max, who people thought was an alpha for the longest time because of the way he drove, the way he held himself, and the way Jos interacted with him. Max who is just a kid, and an omega. One day after a bad qualifying, Daniel gets back into his driver room and finds him all curled up in a corner, purring to self soothe.
Daniel takes a second to just. process. Because Max is clearly upset and came to him, to his driver room, permeated by his alpha smell, to feel better. He doesn't know what to say, but when he steps closer, Max flinches and whines and Daniel instincts take over and he croons a little. And Max settles. Lets him come closer until Daniel can tug him up on the little couch with him to tuck him under his arm, still crooning softly. Max hides his face against Daniel's side until he comes back to himself.
He is a little embarrassed afterwards, but Daniel tells him it was nice and to always come find him if he needs to.
And Max does. Not much, he's very independent and hates being seen as a weak omega, a combination of his personality and his upbringing, but sometimes when he is overwhelmed he hides in Daniel's room. Sometimes steals a hoodie. Even when things get rough around 2018, he still turns up, maybe even more than before.
And then Daniel leaves, and Max stops looking for him.
Daniel's alpha side feels bad for a while, feels like he's abandoning his omega, but Max isn't his omega, and Max doesn't come to him and they move on.
Until 2021 when Max starts really feeling the pressure of the championship battle and one day (maybe some time after silverstone?) Daniel comes back from a debrief and finds him curled up with a hoodie held close to his chest, half asleep and purring like crazy, and he feels so happy to see him that for a second he doesn't even know what to do.
They end up cuddling and it feels like old times, even if Max doesn't really fit under his arm anymore and his smell has changed a little, more settled and mature now, and Daniel croons and scents him until Max starts purring out of contentment instead.
#this is just one of the many ideas i had in my head#and i think i will write that just maybe when i am back home from vacation and can use my laptop#instead of having to type on this wretched machine#maxiel#my writing#thank you so much for asking this was fun!!!#i think that when i write it for real i will only write one specific scene for each sound#so it was nice to write something more like this#if there are typos it's my phone's fault
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My next post in support of Ukraine is:
Next site, is today. Today is the Day of Ukrainian Statehood. It was first celebrated on the 28th of July in 2021 and 2022 but is now set to be celebrated annually on July 15th every year in commemoration of the Christianization of Kyivan Rus. The holiday was established by decree by President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in 2021 during the celebrations for the 30th anniversary of Ukraine's independence. The original date was based on the Baptism of Kyiv from the time of Volodymyr the Great, in 988. The date was changed in 2023 due to the Orthodox Church of Ukraine & the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church doing a calendar reform, which changed it to the 15th. So 2023 was the final year to be celebrated on the 28th. So happy День Української Державності України!
#StandWithUkraine
#СлаваУкраїні 🇺🇦🌻
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Happy Emancipation Day!
Here's a short write up I did about Emancipation Day for my local grassroots mutual aid collective. This will unfortunately be focused primarily on Canada because our area of influence is more local than international. Please be sure to educate yourself on what this day means in your region!
What is the Slave Abolition Act of 1833?
The Slave Abolition Act of 1833 was a British law that ended slavery in most British colonies, freeing over 800,000 enslaved Africans in the Caribbean, South Africa, and Canada. The law, approved on August 28, 1833, took effect on August 1, 1834. It did not immediately apply to territories controlled by the East India Company, Ceylon, or Saint Helena; these exceptions were removed in 1843.
Earlier, in 1793, John Graves Simcoe, the first Lieutenant Governor of Upper Canada (now Ontario), had passed an Act Against the importation of new slaves. This law promised freedom to children born to enslaved women at age twenty-five, but it did not free existing slaves. The Slavery Abolition Act of 1833 later replaced this law, ending slavery across most of the British Empire.
Did it really free the slaves?
The Slavery Abolition Act had its flaws. It only freed those enslaved under age six. Older individuals were classified as 'apprentices' and had to work 40 hours a week without pay as “compensation” to their former slave owners. Full emancipation was not achieved until July 31, 1838.
While Canada often expresses pride in its relatively lesser involvement in slavery when compared to other British colonies, it wasn't the first to end it. The Independent Republic of Vermont was the first in North America to abolish slavery with its 1777 constitution. This came 16 years before Upper Canada’s partial abolition in 1793. Vermont was quickly followed by states like Pennsylvania and Massachusetts, and the U.S. Congress banned slavery in future Midwest territories in 1787.
What is Emancipation Day? What does it mean?
On March 1, 2021, the Canadian House of Commons unanimously declared August 1 as Emancipation Day. This date marks the beginning of the partial abolition of slavery across British colonies in various countries.
Why is Emancipation Day important?
Neglecting acknowledgement of Emancipation Day allows Canada to evade its dark history and distort its legacy. We must hold governments accountable for the history of their crimes. It’s critical to confront the reality that slavery was a part of Canadian history and that its legacy continues to impact African Canadians today. While Canada often boasts about its role in the Underground Railroad and its “total” abolishment of slavery before the U.S, it must also face the uncomfortable truth of its own very real involvement in slavery. Emancipation Day is about confronting history with honesty. Acknowledging this day is essential for addressing past injustices and ensuring that future generations grasp the full, unfiltered truth of Canada's history, including the painful chapters that must not be forgotten or repeated.
Emancipation did not end the oppression of Black people in this country. For those who suffered under centuries of slavery, emancipation should have signaled that Canada would become a place of respect and opportunity for their descendants. Instead, Black Canadians still face racism, discrimination, and prejudice in education, healthcare, housing, and the justice system.
The history of slavery and the stories of enslaved people and their descendants have historically been confined to Black communities. Recognition of this day on a national scale not only helps to validify the black experience, but also to clearly acknowledge our refusal to return to these oppressive norms. Integrating this crucial part of Canadian history into the education of all our children is vital for addressing anti-Black racism and its ongoing impact in our society to this day. A necessary step toward justice is issuing an official apology to the descendants of enslaved people, bringing this issue to the forefront of Canadian awareness and starting the path toward meaningful reparations.
Emancipation day allows us the opportunity to use the past to reflect upon the present. We must acknowledge the deep, ongoing trauma from slavery and segregation as the foundation of anti-Black racism that is still rampant in our justice system today. It is only through this acknowledgement that we can begin to form a dialogue which sees black people as an important, intrinsic part of Canadian history at all times, not just during black history month.
#blacklivesmatter#emancipation#radical education#mutual aid#police abolition#history#pagan#paganism#racial justice#social justice#black history#black indigenous#canadian history#black lives matter#revolution
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Happy Independence Day to everyone! Stay safe out there, and don't lose any fingers tonight!
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The Martin County Sheriff's Office and DEA just hanging out with the red, white, and blue.
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The 2021 Stuart Air Show
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#sheriff #sheriffsdepartment #dea #americanflag #flag #helicopters #helicopter #chopper #helicopterphotography #rotor #rotorcraft #propelleraircraft #aviationphotography #airshow #airshowphotography #aviation #aviationgeek #shotoncanon #canon #canoneosr #eosr #canonphotography #photography #aviationphoto #pictureoftheday #sigma #sigmalens #sigma60600mmsports #mylensrental #stuartairshow
#photography#pictureoftheday#canon#canonphotography#photooftheday#airshow#sigmalens#canonrebelt6i#canoneosr#aviationphotography#helicopters#helicopter#chopper#americanflag#american flag#America#sheriff#aviationphotos#aviation photography#aviation#lightroom#eosr#eos#canon photography
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Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear! Ep 4 Stray Thoughts
Thanks to @isaksbestpillow for making this watch possible.
Last time, Makoto went on a friend date with Daichi to find an appropriate gift for his closeted boyfriend's father. They eventually found a massager that felt appropriate. Meanwhile, Kakeru has taken some steps to exit the house more, but he's taking care to avoid kids his own age because he never feels like he can connect with them. We got additional insight into Daichi, learning that he's suffered excruciating homophobia, and every day he chooses to be brave enough to be kind. We also met Daichi's mom, and I appreciate that he probably learned his considerate approach to people from her. Daichi and Makoto had an amazing conversation about what to do if Kakeru is trans, and also in the public bath. It felt like Makoto made a genuine breakthrough last episode.
I like how gentle the mom is being with Kakeru about this situation. Even though she's so happy to see him in person, she's not making it feel overly special that he's out and talking, and she led with check ins.
It's really important to me that Mika is making the choice about Kakeru's future one he gets to decide.
I don't know how they were before Makoto decided to update himself, but their teamwork feels familiar. I think he at least trusted his wife's instincts when it comes to their kids.
I love that we're seeing Daichi with his boyfriend away from the Okita family. We should know what his own life looks like. I'm also enjoying the vibe between him and his huge boyfriend. I love that they're both veterinary students.
Man, Daichi overwhelms me with feelings every time. He's so good about framing a challenge or difficulty in a way that's manageable.
I liked Makoto getting a glass out for Mika to have a beer with him. It felt like it was something they do sometimes. I do wish he'd tell Kakeru this story, too. I think he'd appreciate knowing that his dad became this macho type because of bullying.
I'm gonna cry again about this conversation in the car. Really Kakeru just needed to know that his dad had his back. Gender is not so simple, and I like that Kakeru clarified that he doesn't dislike being a man, but he doesn't want to present as coarse or 'manly,' and wants to be cute.
"No one is more ignorant and obstinate than me. You've got immunity," ended up being way more heartfelt than it might have a few episodes ago.
"Let me think about it," has been hitting so hard from the Japanese shows since 2021. I don't know the specifics of what Madoka has been through, but I like that his immediate thought after catching himself was to thank Daichi for the regard he showed his parents.
So relieved that these girls weren't immediately mean to Kakeru.
Don't blow this for us, Makoto. Just be patient and let Kakeru show you the way.
Well well well, the girls want our boy's advice.
Crying again about the mom's note.
I like this woman on their team. I think she's Shimura. She does not take workplace abuse in stride and holds her ground.
I remain obsessed with Apple.
These girls let him opt out of karaoke. There is hope.
Wait, but this overachiever seems pissed that he's crushing her hustle.
I do love that Moe came running for her brother.
Aw, Makoto didn't get the "keep it normal" memo and overdid it.
Hey, Moe is bringing the dad in on the situation now! That feels earned from episode 2!
I, too, hope Kakeru finds his B-suke-kun.
Mmm, familiar kids from Madoka.
This show is so rewarding. The relationship developments from previous episodes continually pay off. Daichi's influence is helping both Okita men make it through their troubles, and now Makoto is able to coordinate with Mika and Moe about Kakeru. Everything isn't suddenly fixed, but you can see the effort beginning to pay off. I'm going to be thinking about that car conversation for a long time. I am glad we're seeing an independent Daichi plot, but I am worried it won't end happily.
#Ben watches#ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka#don't care for an old man's underwear#oppan#japanese drama#jdrama#lgbt tv
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Hello! I hope you're doing well. I just wanted to say I adore your GOmens art! You are absolutely one of my favorite creators in the fandom and I regularly go back to your comics because they're so charming. Do you still have a Patreon? I remember being a member at one point or another, and I want to support you and your lovely art!
Thank you! That makes me so happy to hear. Thank you much for the support. Is there anything I can do for you? (Anyone who was on the Patreon, is there anything I can do for you?)
I ran the Patreon as my pandemic project in 2021 in order to help me complete the zine. Which I did! But afterwards I was out of ideas and there wasn't any reason to keep it going, and the fandom was going dormant.
I'm working on an original comic about Florida. I have a literary agent now, because I didn't think I could independently find enough interest to fund an original project in my horrible art style. So maybe you can look forward to that being available as a physical object one day. I barely did any art in the past couple of years because I was so busy with moving across the country, then moving to a different city, and getting jobs and quitting jobs, and telling my parents what I think of them (important milestone but exhausting!)
If you'd like to support me, please send me a winning lottery ticket or some good luck, or just talk to me lol. There are more important things in the world to donate money to, anyhow.
#asks#i have a big pile of crafts and notes for things i still want to make#some fandom related some not
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Vampire Knight: Personal thoughts
I just watched the vampire knight series, so here's my honest review. I really liked it. I guess you just have to be the target audience. Beware of spoilers!
Vampire knight quickly became one of my obsessions lmfao I'm very thankful to my friend for putting me on it. I was crazy about it in 2021 but I never found the time to read the manga. Read tons of comments stating how boring the show is.. For me the first few episodes got me hooked on insanely fast. I was really invested, kept me wanting to watch more and more... It was hard having to control myself to not watch more than 3 eps a day lmfao. Some things aren't explained as well as others, often left me confused and having to pause to think on it. The story is well written and the plot twists were cool. I like that the story takes place in a high school (ignoring the fact that it was pointless). A school was founded with the purpose of fostering harmony between vampires and humans, however, the humans are completely unaware that the students in the night class are vampires?! I guess the explanation is that vampires must learn to not to feed off humans?? Very misleading, but whatever.
I LOVE the art style, it's very beautiful. I didn't quite like how lazily the story progressed in the anime. It felt like 20 filler episodes and 4 eps in which the main plot is actually dug into. At the end Yuki suddenly had to come to her true self, a pureblood princess. It's then revealed that some evil vampire wants to drink her blood. It's also revealed that Kaname is her brother and long destined husband. She had to quickly reconcile with the facts in the last 4 episodes.. The ending really got my heart racing. It's frustrating how Kaname made Yuki rely on him to a large extent, only to suddenly abandon her while she's getting hunted by the evil vampire guy. I suppose he knew Zero had to kill him, but still... What ifff.. maybe only this time there wasnt this unnecessary edging talk and he actually bit her?!?
rip gg
During the whole anime, Yuki was really out of touch with the outside world. She is cherished and protected, but definitely not an independent woman. Very bubbly, happy and in the same time idiotic. All she desires is to uncover the secrets of her past. Kind of plain and boring. Maybe if she wasn't just a walking blood bank for Zero, but an actual useful character the show would've been even more likable. A strong man like zero has 2 powerful guns to protect the day students from vampires... And a braindead kawaii girl like Yuki... got a metal rod?? She's physically incapable of defending herself, let alone protect another. I sympathized with Yuki as she constantly tries to assist my king Zero (u can tell i resonate with him by the way i talk about him lmfao) in overcoming his vampire instincts, but he refuses to confide in her and instead distances himself. He's probably the most interesting character from the series. Born in a family of vampire hunters. Bro's hatred of vampires comes from his parents deaths. Murdered by a pureblood that took his twin brother away. He's also turned into a vampire in the same night. Zero is what he despises. I felt bad for him when all sorts of awful things happened to him. There was no decrease in Zero's suffering as the story unfolded, displaying somewhat of emotional growth and realization while Yuki persisted in her immaturity and sought affection and protection without recognizing her true needs. Zero felt completely shattered and broken over his loss of Yuki and everyone he cared for that when she finally came to him and told him that the old Yuki was eaten by the vampire part of her, he felt like he had no choice but to cling on whatever glimmer of light was left in his world. Knowing he was not her first choice only intensified his anguish. He is torn between adoring her and resenting her, a decision that surely brings him more pain..
Kaname and Zero are simply not on the same level. Kaname is a pureblood with a mission to protect Yuki. He truly loves her. Though I feel like he often manipulates her and indirectly forces her to follow his orders. I get that they're blood related, but it's odd without any context. [as if no one was aware of their relationship at that moment] He frequently disregards her feelings and views her as childish. Zero can simply be a blip on the radar for Kaname. Kaname's like a god. Though his abilities are vague, he just does insane things. Tearing the ground, wiping out memories, demolishing buildings, causing people to explode, you name it. Both were somehow able to help each other. Zero has the duty to protect Yuki. Kaname "helped" Zero break from his endless suffering cycle descending into a level E and helped him understand his powers and realize what hes capable of... Actually, at first I thought Kaname was a bit creepy.. Obsessing over a teenage girl, but now i kinda get it. Maybe it's all a plan of his? Maybe it can all be read inbetween the lines?? He's still a huge mystery to me. His past is also unclear. He's like a book written in a foreign language that I somehow understand. I always feel like i misconceive his intentions. He definitely is the king of nonchalantness.
I also absolutely LOVE the soundtracks. Cherry on top. Making it even better! Really suiting the vibe.
On a final note: These r my thoughts based on the anime only. I don't really care if anyone considers this for some poser shit
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1893
Virginia grew into an Independent, Angelic toddler.
Mrs. Samuels wasn't happy that Mrs. Fitzgerald spent time with her only granddaughter before she did. So on Love Day, they left Virginia with her grandparents and spent some time alone together.
In July, Virginia played outside, until she was called in to meet her new brother, Andrew. She's not too happy, but she'll get over it.
Late night chatting while the little ones sleep.
Laurence knows he's a lucky man to wake up to this.
Two small children and a man who works with the earth make for so much laundry.
Andrew turned out to be a Dreamy infant. Another redhead with freckles, but with big blue eyes (darker than his dad's though).
This is the first year that Labour Day was officially celebrated nationally in Canada, so that gets added to the calendar (for next year, it's currently spring).
Virginia's cc and milestones for the next year until she graduates into proper dresses instead of baby gowns below the cut, and Andrew's cc until/unless he learns to scoot/crawl.
It took three real weeks to get through one sims week, including the one week that was mostly lost to a patch.
Freckles No3 by @northernsiberiawinds https://www.tumblr.com/northernsiberiawinds/739727030493560832/baby-face-kit
Virginia's cc:
Beauty & the Bonnet by @sims4nexus https://sims4nexus.com/?p=13091
Tiny Chompers teeth by @yooniesim https://yooniesim.tumblr.com/post/711450501561057280/tiny-chompers-toddler-teeth-set-12-sets-of
Wearable feet by @simminglena https://simminglena.tumblr.com/post/186326156529/wearable-maxis-feet-for-necrodogs-hd-feet
Kit's Christmas Shoes by @historicalfictionsims https://historicalfictionsims.tumblr.com/post/707557167404826624/kits-christmas-shoes-conversion-bgc
Vintage Ringlets by @the-melancholy-maiden https://www.patreon.com/posts/vintage-ringlets-66568675
Lio Toddler Hair by @birksche https://birkschessimsblog.wordpress.com/2021/08/23/lio-toddlerhair/
Warm Wool Socks by @linzlu https://linzlu.tumblr.com/post/180752725112/day-3-warm-wool-socks-it-wouldnt-be-christmas
Ruffled Dress with Pinafore https://plumbobteasociety.tumblr.com/post/160912278923/teanmoons-tea-party-birthday-set-to-celebrate
Tied Cloth Diaper by @teanmoon https://teanmoon.tumblr.com/post/166854936585/tied-cloth-diaper-by-teanmoon-base-game
1897 TF dress by @vintagesimstress https://www.patreon.com/posts/1897-tf-dress-29516735
Victorian Robes for Teeny Tots (short version) https://vintagesimstress.tumblr.com/post/637873590723854336/victorian-robes-for-teeny-tots-hi-everyone-this
Her miestones:
Fine Motor
Learned Pincer Grasp
Learned to Clap
Learned to Grab
Learned to Reach
Learned to Wave
Put Toe in Mouth
Firsts
First Baby Food
First Bath
First Bubble Bath
First Diaper Blowout
First Finger Food
First Trip to a Park
First Visit to Family Member's House (she did though)
First Visitors
Peed on a Caregiver
Slept Through the Night
Gross Motor
Learned to Crawl
Learned to Creep
Learned to Dance
Learned to Sit Up
Lifted Head
Pulled to Stand (she tried, but she couldn't get to the one thing that she wanted)
Rolled Over to Back
Rolled Over to Tummy
Life
Born at Home
Social
First Smiled
Learned Peek-A-Boo
Learned to Babble
Learned to Blow Kiss
Learned to Blow Raspberry
Learned to Coo
Learned to Laugh
Said First Word
Andrew:
Esther Dress V2 by @historicalfictionsims https://historicalfictionsims.tumblr.com/post/713805022473945088/esther-dress-conversion-v2-bgc
Tea Socks (enabled for infants) by @plumbobteasociety (I don't know which set)
Infant Bonnet https://sims4nexus.tumblr.com/post/712801721620070400/infant-bonnet-go-to-download-page-this-was-a
Victorian Robes for Infants - Long by @vintagesimstress https://vintagesimstress.tumblr.com/post/713322401241399296/victorian-robes-for-infants-long-and-short
Baby Daydress by @cyber-frog-cc https://cyber-frog-cc.tumblr.com/post/728355058006245376/my-little-baby-set
(At this point, infants get a gown, a sleeping gown, and a cold weather gown that's fuller to look like there are more layers; a bonnet, and a headwrap for sleep; socks. There's not a lot for them to wear.
I really try not to edit the genetics except for hairstyle, especially for anyone younger than teen, because things can get weird later if you do. I also try to keep the same hair texture when I change hairsyle, unless something's tagged wrong. These children are who the game made them at this point.)
Defaults listed here https://amethystamanda.tumblr.com/post/750183396505976832/1890-samuels-and-fitzpatricks
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Happy Birthday To The Hottest And Most Bodacious Geeky Nerdy Bad@$$ Actress of Many Favoritable Movies and Shows of the 21st Century. The Awesome Latina Wonder Woman👩🏾🇵🇷🇨🇺🤎🧡 herself.
She is an American actress. She made her feature-film debut in the 1995 independent drama Kids. Her subsequent film roles include He Got Game (1998), Josie and the Pussycats (2001), Men in Black II (2002), The Rundown (2003), Rent (2005), Sin City (2005), Clerks II (2006), Death Proof (2007), Seven Pounds (2008), Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010), Unstoppable (2010), Zookeeper (2011), Trance (2013), Top Five (2014), Zombieland: Double Tap (2019), and Clerks 3 (2022). Dawson has provided voice-over work for Disney/Marvel, Warner Bros./DC Comics, and ViacomCBS's Nickelodeon unit.
Rosario Dawson was born on May 9, 1979, in New York City. Her mother, Isabel Celeste, is of Puerto Rican, Taíno, Cuban and African ancestry. Isabel was 17 years old when Rosario was born; she never married Rosario's biological father, Patrick C. Harris. When Dawson was a year old, Isabel married Greg Dawson, a construction worker. Isabel and Greg moved into a reclaimed building on East 13th Street after being approved as members of an affordable housing plan. The family later moved to Garland, Texas.
As a child, Dawson made a brief appearance on Sesame Street. At the age of 15, she was discovered on her front-porch step by photographer Larry Clark and Harmony Korine, with Korine deciding that she was perfect for a part he had written in his screenplay for the controversial 1995 film Kids.
Dawson had several roles in film and television adaptations of comic books. These include Gail in Sin City (2005) and Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014), Claire Temple in five of the Marvel Netflix series (2015–2018), and providing the voices of Diana Prince / Wonder Woman in the DC Animated Movie Universe and Space Jam: A New Legacy and Barbara Gordon / Batgirl in The Lego Batman Movie. In 2020, she portrayed Ahsoka Tano in the second season of The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, and stars in Disney+ original series Ahsoka. In 2021, she had a recurring role in the Dwayne Johnson autobiographical comedy series Young Rock and a main role in the Hulu miniseries Dopesick.
I always thought she was Afro Latina. Oh well
PLEASE WISH THIS MOST AWESOME & BAD@$$ LATINA AMERICAN ACTRESS OF MANY FORMS OF ENTERTAINMENT & HOT NERD 🤓 🔥
A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊
YOU KNOW HER
YOU SEEN HER MOVIES 🎥 , TV APPEARANCES 📺 & GEEK OUT ON SUPERHERO FILMS 🎥
& SHE IS STILL RADIANT TO THIS VERY DAY
THE 1 & THE ONLY
MS ROSARIO ISABEL DAWSON👩🏾 🇵🇷🇨🇺🤎🧡
HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 TO YOU MS. DAWNSON👩🏾🇵🇷🇨🇺🤎🧡 & HERE'S TO MANY MORE YEARS TO COME
#RosarioDawson
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Kafkaryan, The Wrath Of Cod
June 2024 Progress Report
TLDR: Unfortunately we had to push back our planned release date again. We don't have a new date yet, but we're trying our best to bring you Octopus City Blues as soon as humanly possible. We're very sorry about that. The rest of the update will go over some of the things we've been working on and provide additional context for the delay.
Progress
Starting in April, Marina (benevolent tentacle artist) and I (Firas, malevolent snail) significantly changed the way we work. Previously, art and development were mostly done independently and we communicated on a weekly or biweekly basis. We switched to a virtual office kind of setup where we dedicate fixed hours to working together every day. It's been going great so far and we feel much more motivated and productive.
Our current target is the Robot Graveyard, the lawless wasteland at the base of Gold Tower. We're mainly working on the remaining interior locations such as the Conman's shop or the cyborg club.
By the way, we recently released yet another demo update, based on all the quality-of-life and interaction improvements made since the previous one. These include:
🦔 Kaf the Hedgehog is now 33% faster and has 100% more walking frames!
🖼️ Intuitive top-of-the-line settings menu to crank up your sim's colors to 11.
🎨 New text background colors to make your eyes bleed. From the grimy "Jungle" to the ominous "Caput Mortuum".
💬 Switch between the gossip and item menu modes like a pro using Q/E keys or the gamepad's shoulder buttons.
🎮 Say goodbye to gamepad confusion! The simulation will reliably remember the most recently used controller.
🍄 Beetles crave mushrooms. Drop the right item in the plaza and watch the little critters go!
😷 You no longer have to "touch" dirty objects or people to interact with them. Standing close by is sufficient.
🤖 Sacrificing Mom to science will pay off sooner.
🪲 And numerous other fixes, copy editing changes, and a host of new potential bugs for you to discover!
I'm also happy to present one of several music tracks that the newest addition to our team, Shannon (omnibenevolent troubadour), has been working on:
youtube
There's a lot more happening behind the scenes. For example, Julia (unambivalent wordsmith) went over and helped improve large portions of the script, while Karl (ambivalent doodler) is practicing card tricks.
The Delay
Octopus City Blues has had a long and rocky journey over the years, so I apologize if the following is too long and boring. Nevertheless, you all deserve an honest explanation for the delays. Back in late 2021 when I was pitching the project to the Midgame Fund, the plan looked something like this:
Early 2022: Demo play testing
Late 2022: Release of Act 1 in Early Access.
Mid 2023: Steam Next Fest demo
Late 2023 / Early 2024: Release of Act 2
Later in 2024: KS reward fulfillment, possible localization and console ports
After getting funded, the helpful investors at Midgame Fund advised against Early Access and recommended releasing both acts together. Much of 2022 was spent on discussions, planning, and extensive play testing that took place in two main rounds. The testing feedback showed us that we still had much to do, particularly when it came to guiding the players.
By early 2023 we were struggling to follow the original plan as we addressed all the testing feedback. That's why I decided to cut a lot of planned content and rewrite the story so that it no longer had two acts. The original acts were separated by a 10-year gap, which would've required a lot of art editing and writing completely new responses for every character.
The next play testing round coincided with the Indigo event. Even after all the changes made, some players were still struggling with certain parts or running into bugs. That's why we decided to participate in the October Steam Next Fest edition instead of the June one. The release date was pushed back to Q1 2024.
The Next Fest event itself was a great success. After years of neglecting marketing, we used 2023 to promote the project and make it more viable financially. On the other hand, the event left us with even more feedback, some of which we were still addressing in January (2024). The release date was pushed back to Q2.
In early 2024 the Q2 release plan was still feasible. However, things temporarily took a turn for the worse after our last update. The first roadblock was due to real life developments and personal circumstances that impacted the availability of key team members. Thankfully, everything is back to normal now.
A more general problem is that the more we get done, the more work we end up creating for ourselves. The complex branching quest design means that the amount of testing needed can grow exponentially. Automated testing and play testing rounds can only take us so far.
The next obstacle had to do with the 2023 rewrite. Taking a story with many characters and intertwined elements and completely rewriting major parts of it turned out to be much trickier than expected. Some major plot elements simply didn't work in the new framework, and I had to make additional changes to improve the story's overall pacing and consistency.
At first I thought we could still release the main parts, and then slowly restore some content after release. That would've meant early adopters and our biggest supporters wouldn't get the complete intended experience. There are also many more things we'd like to tackle after release (Kickstarter rewards, localization, porting) instead of adding more content.
To be clear, there are some things that we still plan to add after release (as free DLC). In particular, there are the arcade games and the quests related to them. While not part of the main story, they were in our original pitch (and much of the art is already done).
All of this brings us to our current plan. The story is still in one act, but some previously cut areas and quests will be restored. As mentioned in the previous section, we've adopted a new way of working since April and have been slowly adding the remaining areas and characters to the simulation. While things look promising, it's hard to tell what will happen tomorrow or if additional play testing will require even more changes.
OCB is something that particularly benefits from these play testing rounds, because the more we can anticipate the player's actions (e.g. trying to combine the knife and baby items), the more fun and immersive the experience feels. Obviously, we can never get rid of every bug or address all feedback before release. That's why we'll just have to find the right balance.
We still have to finish the following parts: Graveyard (in-progress), Big Beef, Turkeys, and the ending. Of those, Big Beef is the most involved one. I changed the planned release date on Steam to simply 2024 because that's our goal, but please keep in mind that it's not a release date either. We'll only announce a concrete release date once all of these areas are done and work primarily shifts to testing and polishing.
If you've made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read all of that! We remain as committed to this project as we were on day one, and we're genuinely trying our best as flawed and naively optimistic humanoids. We owe it all to your continued support and understanding.
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Be My Favorite - Intro
WELCOME TO KEY’S SUMMER FIXATION SERIES. \:D/
Hello! I’m Key, and I’ll be your Be My Favorite historian and enthusiast.
I’ve been really excited for Be My Favorite ever since the series was first announced in December of 2021. The premise grabbed me right away since I’m a big fan of time loops (please watch Triage if you haven’t already, I’d say it’s the strongest BL series to date), and Krist’s one of my favorite actors, so it was an instant five stars of anticipation for me. Then in September of 2022, Gawin (another favorite of mine) was cast, and I had a dream casting I think I might have joked about once. (So I did this, you’re welcome.)
Whoever cast Gawin, I’ll send you a basket of whatever you love and aren’t allergic to.
THE CASTING HISTORY
Be My Favorite had a rocky road to casting.
From what I’ve been able to follow, it was initially meant to be a KristSingto comeback vehicle. (Their last BL together was the SOTUS Our Skyy episode in 2018.) However, in 2022, Krist tentatively told fans at a fan meeting that Singto’s schedule didn’t work out with filming. Seeing as GMMTV didn’t want Krist acting in BL series without his brand partner, I think they knew Singto wasn’t planning to renew his contract, so they cast Mike instead. Personally, I was excited to see Krist step outside his comfort zone with a different actor, and he’s close to Mike, so I figured it’d be a good match. I was also happy for Singto, because he’s wanted more independence in his career. He’s into photography and directing, he’s made his own studio, formed his own fan club in Japan, etc. (I think it’s likely he and Krist will work together again, though. They’re still very close, they play video games online with their friends from university fairly regularly, and Singto went out of his way to organize a KristSingto concert in December of 2022 through his Japanese fan club. KS used to hold their GMMTV-sponsored concerts there annually before the pandemic, so I think it was both a “final chapter” to one part of their lives and evidence that they can collaborate again if they want to.)
I didn’t have strong feelings about Mike’s casting. I haven’t seen him in much, but I liked him in the teaser, and he’s already close to Krist, so I was on board. After seeing Singto improve through his series with other actors (something he might have had to fight for, but that’s pure speculation), I was just excited for Krist to get the same opportunities.
And then…Gawin. [seventeen sparkle emojis]
As I said on Twitter the day Gawin’s casting was announced, “I could not be more pleased and delighted that I’ve built a reputation for myself that makes people think, ‘Krist and Gawin? QUICKLY, LIGHT THE FIRES AND TELL KEY,’” because I woke up to not one but three separate friends letting me know about it.
I went from excited to feral in the four seconds it took my brain to go from, “This can’t be real,” to, “Finally, bizarre breaking news that isn’t actively traumatizing.”
Truly, I have to hand it to Krist, because he's wanted this project to do well from the start, and he's stuck with it and worked hard on it through potentially three scene partners. And he really seems to have grown and learned from Gawin, so good on him.
THE WRITER/DIRECTOR
My one worry was that I haven’t enjoyed most of Jittirain’s adaptations.
But then I found out that the director, Waa, directed The Gifted and also has screenwriting experience. Krist has worked with Waa before and speaks highly of his process. There are a lot of scenes in the first episode of BMF that seem very clean and well edited, so I have hope.
On top of that, I’ve also seen fans mention that Be My Favorite is “inspired by” Jittirain’s novel, not adapted from it, which I think is a crucial distinction. (I don’t know the source for that, but I want it to be true, so I’ll believe it for now.)
Krist has said that they changed a lot from the novel, and based on what I know, the first episode has already departed quite a bit, so I have put my faith in Waa.
POSTPRODUCTION
For many reasons, some series just get the short stick with the amount of postproduction and budget they get. Some series are still filming as they start airing, some have budget cuts during production, etc.
Filming for Be My Favorite began on November 19th, 2022 and wrapped two months ago on March 24th. That same day, Waa shared on Twitter that he’d be starting work on intense editing right away. That was a great sign to me. With filming complete and two months of postproduction, he was almost certainly able to do a cleaner job than if he’d had to struggle under continued filming and simultaneous editing while the show was airing.
Also, BMF definitely seems to have money behind it. For example, this upgrade from the trailer to the first episode. In the trailer, as Kawi makes his first trip to the past, there's a bright, swirling glow around him.
When the episode aired, the effect looked a lot cleaner and had scenes from future episodes woven in.
Also, I loved this transition shot with the blurry background, and the dandelion seed floating across the screen was a cute detail, since that's the flower in the time loop globe.
Little things like like this tells me they’ve had the time to do this series well, and that there's a lot of love and effort going into it.
THE ACTING COACH
This February, the acting coach for BMF did an interview (1 & 2) that I really enjoyed. She said she’ll be sharing a video of their workshop now that the series is airing, so I’m keeping an eye out for that.
THE ACTORS
Like I said, I love both of them. I first watched SOTUS and the Kiss series in 2020, so I became a fan of both right around the same time.
In April of 2022, I made a top ten list of what I thought were the best acting performances up to that point. Krist was on it, and so was Gawin. I admire both of them a lot, and I think they’ve both improved tremendously over the years.
Krist, from what I can tell through interviews, leans toward method acting. For example, in the scene I included on my list above, Arthit was apparently meant to cry a few lines later on, but Krist lost it earlier than scripted because in order to channel the emotion he needed for the scene, he imagined how he’d feel when Singto followed through with a long-time dream of studying overseas. It ended up one of their strongest scenes together because it was genuine.
Meanwhile, Gawin was interviewed in November of 2022, and while I think the whole interview is a great read, I wanted to emphasize this part:
“When I prepare for a role, I really have to dig into the story of the script,” [Gawin] explains. “Sometimes they do the last scenes of the series on the first day of being on set. So, you have to be really prepared with the entire story. You’ve got to know the whole thing, what emotions that character went through, and the changes with that character.”
I think part of what makes Krist and Gawin a good combination is that they’re strong actors with different energies who might just have different ways of preparing for a role. I’d love to hear both of them talk in more detail about their processes, but it seems to me like Krist looks inward for personal experiences to connect with the character, and Gawin creates the character he’s playing based on research.
Another interesting point is that In that same interview, Gawin says he thinks Saifa from Enchanté most resembles his personality (easygoing, music lover, etc.), but he got his start as Mork from the Kiss series (attitude issues, perfect sasspot, etc.). Meanwhile, Krist had an easy link to his first major role, Arthit, in that he’d also been head hazer in university. So Krist started his career able to access a common point with his character, so that might’ve influenced his approach to future roles. Whereas Gawin started off with a character completely unlike himself, so he started from a place of more emotional detachment and probably a more research-oriented approach.
Also, they just seem to have connected on a personal level.
Working with someone so different gives actors the opportunity to learn from each other. When interviewed, Gawin said he and Krist discovered they have a lot in common, and it seems like they bonded over music and spent a lot of time on set singing together. (Their harmonizing is genuinely beautiful.)
Krist’s OST for the series is one of my favorites and Gawin has a ballad coming up later in the series, but I hope they give them a duet at some point. (It’d be a huge missed opportunity if they don’t.)
CATS???
One of the sponsors for the series is fucking Wiskas.
This could just be because Krist is their brand ambassador. (The man has four cats. He has an army to feed.)
OR there is a feline presence in the show. If this is true, I will die, because Triage, series of my soul, also had cats in it.
Listen, I will send TWO baskets of whatever Waa likes if he's enabled me to make the "if I had a nickel for every time there have been cats in a Thai BL time loop series, I'd have two nickels. It's not a lot but it's weird that it happened twice" joke.
CONCLUSION
Big fan! Love it all! (PLEASE CATS.)
I’ll leave this here as an introductory post, and I’ll make separate posts for my individual episode thoughts using #key watches bmf.
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