#Haley honey you’re down BAD

[queeny-v]

Back at it again with my Farmer Rudy and Haley’s massive crush on her

[luveline]

hotch sister idea-- convincing hotch to take you out to dinner with the whole team because you "want to properly meet his friends" (i'm a sucker for team dynamics) but then being shy and cute with spencer the entire time to the point that hotch notices and gets a tad protective...but ends with spencer getting her number or something

thank you for requesting 💌 —you attend a party with your older brother in a not so secret plight to see Dr. Reid. You fawn, Spencer flusters, and Hotch drinks a tad more than usual. fem, 2.3k

cw for mentions of past child abuse

The car is quiet besides the tread of the tires on asphalt. You click and unclick the clasp of your shoulder bag, checking for your purse, getting worried your purse isn’t in there, and checking again.

“If there’s something you want to ask me, you can ask me.”

You move your gaze to your brother. His quietness can make you nervous, a reflection of your father but with none of the cruelty. “I don’t want you to get mad at me if it’s stupid.”

“Well, I won’t. I promise.”

You know he won’t, but sometimes the fear remains. Even when you’re far from being a kid. “Do you remember when I got suspended for, um, disrespectful behaviour? My senior year?”

Aaron turns the wheel with care. “I do.”

“And we went for ice cream.”

“Yeah, honey, I remember.”

That’s the point you’re trying to make, maybe. That tenderness sewn into the middle of his sentence. If your dad knew you’d been suspended again he would’ve made you feel it. You remember the sinking sensation in your chest waiting for him to pick you up, having written the speech he’d give you in the car ride home in your head ten times over, the sting of his palm grazing your cheek before you’d even seen his hand. So you waited in a total violent panic, head rush, wondering if anything was worth anything, when Aaron arrived to pick you up.

How did you know? you’d asked.

I changed your emergency contact. I hope that’s okay.

“You asked me what I wanted and…”

What flavour did you want, honey? he’d asked. Honey, like he loved you, the only person in the whole world who’d bother asking. The only man who’d take you for ice cream at seventeen years old to cure a bad day.

“And you burst into tears,” Aaron says.

He’d sat down opposite you in his suit, torn from one of his trials, and you can’t remember anymore if he was an attorney or already in the FBI, but you can’t forget how he’d taken your wrists into his hands and asked you not to cry.

“When you took me home, Haley asked me if you’d upset me, and I didn’t know how to explain it so you said yes. And she shouted at you for a whole half hour.”

“Why are you thinking about this now?” he asks.

Maybe because college is over and you’re forced to move on. Aaron asked you to try hard and you have, but now you have your degree and you don’t know what to do with it, you’ll get a job, and then what?

“I’ve been thinking about… my love life.”

“Oh. And you have to talk about this with me?” he jokes.

“I don’t have anybody else.”

He tears his gaze from the windshield. “That’s not true.”

“But…”

He turns into the parking lot outside of Dan’s Fine Wine Bar and pulls into a tight space with ease. He hesitates before he flicks off the engine, turning to you with a smile. “You’ll always have me,” he says, “and we can talk about your love life. I want to. God knows you’ve heard enough about mine this last year.” You both grimace. “But if I have to listen one more time to you talking about Spencer–”

“You said you wouldn’t get mad!”

“Honey.” He takes off his seatbelt and opens the door. “I’m not mad. But imagine your younger sibling comes to you one day to tell you they have feelings for your employee and try to find some sympathy for me!”

He clambers out of the car. You rush after him, unbuckling your seatbelt and nearly smashing your door into the car next to you. The air outside is cold, and you didn’t bring a jacket even though Aaron told you to twice, so you can’t mention it aloud. “I don’t have feelings for him.”

“You have a crush. You’re too old for it.”

“I am not.”

He gestures for you to walk in front of him as he clicks the fob for the car and the doors lock automatically. “I don’t understand what this has to do with your suspension.”

You chew on your cheek. Neon from the wine bar mottles your skin as you pass under it and through the door, air quickly turned from cold to temperate, the smell of old rain replaced by carpeting and beer. When you lift your head to his gaze, he’s still waiting for your answer. “You told me things wouldn’t be that hard forever. I was just wondering when it’s safe to say you were right.”

He grins at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder to give you a rough hug. “Right now. Be happy right now, honey.”

“There they are!” Penelope calls from a table near the back. Suddenly, Aaron’s entire team of work colleagues stand up where they’ve dominated a whole row of tables and booths alike to greet you. “Oh my gosh, I missed you!”

You met Derek a long long time ago, and JJ around the same time, but everybody else is basically new. College was busy and Aaron busier —there was hardly ever time to visit, and when you did it was to see him and Haley. Meeting his friends was somehow put off.

You’ve since been introduced to Emily and Spencer, so Aaron directs you to David Rossi first. That’s the main team done quickly. But then he has to introduce you to Anderson, Sweeney, Kelly, Cory, Davidson, etc. So many agents for one man’s birthday. Anyone would think Derek Morgan was a celebrity.

“Happy birthday!” you say, when you finally get a moment to speak.

Derek reaches over the table to hug you quickly. “Thank you, gorgeous. We’re thrilled you’re here.” He pulls back, elbowing Penelope lovingly. “Aren’t we, mama?”

Penelope squeals and jumps for you. “So thrilled!”

Aaron touches your back, as if to say, I’m here, before taking a seat opposite Rossi. You hear snippets of a conversation about whiskey and when, but you’re distracted, because suddenly Penelope’s forcing you to sit down in her vacated seat, smack bang between Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid.

Dr. Spencer Reid. “Hi,” you say quietly. Can’t help it. You remember how you’d reacted when you met him the week before last and wonder if it’s too late to pretend you’re cool —you’d gotten so worked up about him. He wrote a bunch of papers you had to read for your degree, some of the most sophisticated theory on elliptical math you’d ever read, and you’re supposed to act like he’s just a normal guy?

It doesn’t help that he’s model pretty. You’d never have thought of him as he is now over email, his huge brown eyes, pale skin, the flicking curl of his hair behind his ears. When he turns his head, he has indents on his nose from a pair of glasses you wish you’d seen. You clear your throat.

“Hi, Y/N, how are you?” Spencer asks.

“I’m gonna go get a drink now,” Aaron says. “What do you want?” he asks you.

“Um, anything. I don’t really wanna drink.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” he says with deliberateness.

You feel heat like a rash on your neck. He’s embarrassing you doing his dad routine.

“You look pretty,” Spencer says.

You hide your hands under your thighs. “You think so?”

“You look beautiful,” Penelope says from across the table.

“Didn’t inherit that Hotchner scowl,” Derek says with a grin, “I thought it came with the name.”

“I learned how to do it the day they signed the adoption certificate,” you nudge in, “I just keep it to myself. I think Aaron has it down.”

Everybody within hearing distance laughs at you, to your relief. To your left, Spencer’s shoe hits your heel.

“So weird to hear his real name,” Emily says, tipping her drink to the side, ice and sugar on the surface. “I thought for sure you’d have to call him Hotch too.”

You look around in surprise. “He can’t be that bad. Does he really frown so much?”

You’re told vehemently that your brother is a grump, which is something you were aware of, just not experienced in. Sure, he’s had his unhappy moments, no one can smile every second of the day, but if everyone is to be believed he’s the sternest man alive. Eventually things drift into storytelling. Aaron brings you your drink with a straw and a napkin wrapped around the base, and you find yourself listening to a graphic rehash of Derek’s first case with the BAU.

Spencer’s leg is a coal at your side.

Your self preservation runs out. “You don’t drink?” you ask, nodding to his glass bottle of coke.

“I– I never did. I never had the opportunity. I’ve never even been to a party.” He pauses. “I don’t know why I just told you that.”

“I didn’t go to parties either,” you say, overjoyed to find common ground so quickly.

“I mean, I was never invited, but highschool parties didn’t seem like my thing. And, you know, I was twelve.”

“You were twelve in highschool?”

He’s doing that thing you noticed the day you met, where his lips move before he’s ready to talk, his emotion clear. “You weren’t?” he asks, not quite smooth but enough to make you laugh suddenly.

“I wish! I could’ve been done with college years ago.” Your brows pinch together. “Wait, so did you go to college as a kid?”

“I mean, sort of.”

“What? No wonder you didn’t go to any parties, that must’ve been insane. When I was twelve I was still setting my Barbie’s up for dance parties. Aaron has a photo of me dressed up in mom’s old clothes.” You lean forward for a sip of your drink.

“Oh, don’t worry, there’s a photo of me just like that when I was twelve, too.”

You laugh so hard you almost choke.

A cup comes down hard somewhere behind your turned head.

“You okay?” Emily asks.

She wears a smirk you don’t understand, a joke you’ve missed. You peer past her to look to Aaron for advice and find him rather sullen, hand curled tightly around his drink. You try to give him a signal to ask if he’s alright, but it’s to no avail.

“I’m fine, sorry, just a joke.” You turn back to Spencer. “That’s adorable.”

You’re breathless talking to him. He must notice, but Spencer doesn’t say a word.

If someone asked you why he caught your attention, you’re not sure you know the answer. He’s pretty, undeniably, and it’s fascinating that you used his theory while you were in school, but fascination isn’t endless. Maybe it’s the way he looks at you. No ones ever given such a clear sense of awe; he gets stuck on you, his eyes tracing your cheek and your nose and your lips. It’s noticeable, but it isn’t unwanted. You keep coming back to his smile as he talks, the flash of his teeth.

“I honestly didn’t know Hotch had a sister,” Spencer says.

“He was keeping us apart for a reason,” you say insistently, “I just don’t know what that reason is yet. He must’ve known you were the Dr. Reid I’d been reading.”

“It makes it sound like you’re reading me,” Spencer laughs. “Like, my hands.”

“Do you want me to?”

“Do I want you to what?”

“To read your palm?”

“You know how?”

“No parties, remember?”

Spencer gives you his hand. He has nice hands, big but slim-fingered like a pianist’s, though if he plays isn’t something you know. You angle it flat careful, your thumbs to either side of his open palm. “What do you want to know?” you ask.

“What can you tell me?”

You hum gently. “You have your life line, your head line, your heart line– your love line.”

“What does that– that mean for me?”

You press your thumb to his mount Jupiter, a soft hill of his hand under one of his fingers where the heart line begins. “Your desire for love, and your capacity for it. See how deeply curved it is?” you ask, drawing along his heart line gently. “It means you’re warm, and loving. That you could have a great love.”

You look up, his hand held gently between yours. “But I could be really wrong. I haven’t done this in so long, I might just be making stuff up.”

You sound insecure to your own ears, cringing away from his hand, but Spencer ducks his head just a little to keep your gaze, and he smiles at you softly. “It’s okay. I like your reading, even if it’s wrong. Where did you learn how to do that?”

“Aaron would buy me any book I asked for growing up, he…”

Your brother, sitting only a few seats away, can’t find it in himself to regret that particular generosity even if the sight of you holding Spencer’s hand isn’t one he wants to see. It’s odd. You’re fully grown up, and it’s not like Aaron thinks Spencer would ever hurt you purposefully, but it’s hard to see anyways. He can admit to feeling like a father watching his daughter finding a first love; he can’t keep you forever and he doesn’t want to, but it’s still hard to watch as you descend into giggles that border on dizziness.

“This is a good thing,” Rossi says. “You’ll never have to worry about her being out past curfew.”

Aaron laughs, it’s funny, and then he knocks back his drink.

[hiramaris]

Kiss It Off Me

CHAPTER 4

Chapter Summary:

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.” “No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Pairings: Haley x Fem!farmer

Disclaimer:  I do not own Stardew Valley or any of the related characters. Stardew Valley is created by and owned by ConcernedApe. This fanfiction is intended for entertainment only. I am not making any profit from this story. All rights of the original Stardew Valley story belong to ConcernedApe.

Warning: Swearing, mentions of neglect

Y/n, I’m not really good at writing a note or apologizing in general. I just… feel bad about how our introduction to one another went downhill which I know is my fault. I know it's kind of rude, too to take someone's photo without their consent so, here you go. It's not the best photo but it's not, like, the worse either. And you look like you're in one with nature so the photographer in me couldn't help but to take the shot.  Anyway, if you have time away from your farm, you can drop by at 2 Willow Lane in the morning or whatever so I can make it up to you somehow. It’s cool if you don’t want to if you’re, like, really mad still.   P.S I don’t wake up until 8. Need my beauty sleep! - Haley <3

Spring 10

"Earlier, I was getting my mail."

Haley's chewing came to a halt as George began to speak. How odd. George wasn’t one to talk during meals. She knew this because there was never a time she missed mandatory weekly meals with the Mullners.

Nonetheless, she leaned a bit closer to hear him.

"I couldn't because of my...” he trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid. “Anyway, Pam's kid tried to help me, and I ended up shouting at her." "My goodness, George!” Gran Evelyn gasped softly, placing a hand over her heart. “Why did you do that to poor Penny?" "I— she pushed my wheelchair and touched my mail.” He averted his gaze, looking everywhere but at the three pairs of eyes focused on him. If Haley didn’t know him any better, he almost looked embarrassed rather than angry. “I... I didn't like it when people act like I'm so nimble." Granny shook her head in sympathy. "Still, honey... She's just trying to help." "I know, I know," George grumbled, stabbing his fork into a fried mushroom. "The new farmer even pointed it out to me." He looked up, his eyes boring into his wife. "I apologized anyway. It was just a bad day, and I happened to project my anger onto her."

At the mention of the new farmer, Haley perked up. Not to sound obsessed or anything or like she has been counting at all, but it had been almost two days since she had caught a whiff of that familiar scent of dirt and freshly cut grass that you seemed to radiate even from a mile away. If Emily’s going to twist her arm behind her back, then maybe she’ll be able to get Haley to admit that she’s the one doing the avoiding right now.

The fact that it was Haley herself who wrote a note for you to come by to make up for her rude behavior, and then when you did drop by immediately a day after, Haley would make sure she had plenty of excuses to not meet you at the door and have Emily answer on her behalf. It’s been days and she’s running out of reasons to tell Emily why she couldn’t meet her visitor, and it wouldn’t take a genius to know who’s avoiding whom.

How could she not though?

How can someone recover from a situation like that which was probably scraped off from a romantic script of a movie because it’s too predictable, and cringe?

How can you look at someone ever again knowing you had seen that face in mere inches, breath tingling the cheeks and then act like you weren’t fazed by it all?

Most importantly, how do you act after that? Apparently, it didn’t seem like a problem for you as you were so busy hustling and bustling in and out of the farm and into the town. And if you weren't busy doing your chores, then you were always dragged down by Sam’s little brother to their little class arrangement with Penny and often found you hanging out with them by the big tree just outside Haley’s home which is why she knows not because she’s actively searching for you, duh.

Okay, maybe you did try to approach her, and Haley's acting like the two of you had a one-night stand by avoiding you like the plague. Could you blame her, though?

If it wasn't embarrassing enough, she even accused you of trying to buy her friendship with the daily gifts you gave her, accompanied by that annoyingly cheerful smile that seemed permanently sculpted on your face.

What am I even supposed to think in that situation? Even Alex, her best friend for years, wasn’t consistent with giving her gifts. The doofus often forgets special occasions, but that's a separate issue altogether.

To her, you’re really just an enigma.

And she can’t help but be drawn to the mysterious, goody-two-shoes persona you’re sporting.

She shook her head when she realized she’d been zoning out longer than she warranted. Evelyn is still giving George a piece of her mind for what he did. Haley’s so sure he’s regretting his decision by now opening this topic to his wife.

However, it was clear to Haley who was in the wrong here.

"If I may put in my two cents...?" she interjected, unable to hold back.

Alex raised a curious brow at her but remained silent. Granny, on the other hand, nodded encouragingly. "Go ahead, deary."

"I think George's reaction was valid," Haley began slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Penny touched your wheelchair and mail without consent, regardless of her good intentions, George." And as an afterthought, she added, a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice, "And the new farmer agreed with her? She should have known better."

"Look at you, Hay. Queen of consent!" Alex teased, a smirk playing on his lips. "I love a girl who knows her boundaries."

Of course, the doofus would choose this time to speak.

"Haha," she rolled her eyes at a smirking Alex. He sure knows what buttons to push. "Asking consent is a bare minimum, you goof. You should practice it more often." "Hey!" "Hng," George grumbled inaudibly. "Little Miss Farmer did say that."

"Say what, dear?" "That Pam's kid should have asked me first.” George clarified. “But I should have handled it a little better, too. Can't say that she's wrong."

Despite his use of tone, he didn’t sound too upset. More like he’s in between of unable to believe that someone has the courage to stand up to him and tell him he’s wrong and still respect him as an elder, or being mad at this new farmer for sticking up her nose somewhere it doesn’t belong.

Either way, a George that isn’t grumpy is a win-win. So, they all will probably take it as it is.

"I'm glad you thought so too, dear." See? Even Granny thinks so, too. It’s better to have a plate full of her infamous cookies (and leek if you’re George) than to have a grumpy George on your plate. "Here, have some sauté leek."

George's face brightens up considerably. "I thought we don't have anymore from the pantry?"

"Miss Y/n dropped some earlier. Said to help cook your favorite dish. Isn’t she a sweetheart?”

"Hmm... I guess she's really something else then."

"I told you so, dear."

"Agree!" Alex raises a thumbs up. "She even knows how to play grid ball! She's new yet she's already better than the men here combined."

"That's lovely, deary. I hope she also influences you to read those books I gave you. I heard she's infatuated with books as Miss Penny does." "Yes, granny," Alex grumbled against his spoon.

Spring 12

She didn’t expect to see you so soon.

It’s not like she wants to avoid you forever. Ugh.

Why is this so difficult?

Her whole Spring routine is now in shambles because of you and your inability to dress nice, spreading your nasty farmer smell and being all happy smiles around children, elders, and women like some sort of Casanova and it’s infuriating!

“Hay?” Emily’s voice calling out from the kitchen stops her from her silent stewing. Haley was about to get up from her seat when Emily's voice continued, "did you clean the cushions like I told you yesterday?"

Her expression immediately turned sour, “I just cleaned them last week!”

The clanging from the kitchen stops, and the thudding of footsteps came closer. In an instant, Emily was standing in front of her with her spatula in hand.

“Yes, that’s last week. What about this week then?”

Haley rose to her feet, indignant. No freaking way she’s cleaning them again. “I always clean under the cushions and you damn well know it!" She jutted a perfectly manicured finger in Emily's direction. "It's YOUR turn this week!"

Emily scoffed at that. “You’re being childish, Haley. I do the vast majority of work in this house, and you know it.”

Haley rolled her eyes, feeling frustrated that Emily always played the responsible one. Just because she had a job outside the house, she acted like she was the only one doing anything. Haley does, too! She cooks, washes the dishes, does her own laundry, and cleans the house! But of course, Emily isn’t around enough to see all that because she has work and she’s busy thinking Haley’s lazy ass is just lounging in the house doing nothing all day!

“But that’s not the point!” Haley crossed her arms, a flash of irritation on her face. She wasn't going to let Emily get away with this. “We agreed to have schedules specifically for this and you’re not following it!”

Emily's eyes flickered with frustration. “Would it kill you to do them now? I had a rough shift yesterday.”

"You can't just pass off your responsibilities onto me every time you had a tough day at work. We made a schedule for a reason."

"I know, I know. But I just need a break today." Emily sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping.

The truth sets out then. She had a rough night and she passes the job onto Haley and made her feel guilty for it. Never mind that they agreed to have alternate schedules to do this specific job to avoid arguments yet here they are.

“Absolutely no—”

“Hello?”

Of fucking course, the farmer chooses that time to knock on their door.

Emily must have noticed the alarmed look written clearly on her face, making her smirk.

Oh, boy.

“Come in, Y/n/n! Haley’s up already.”

“Good mor—” You did a double take seeing a clearly upset Haley and an equally pissed Emily. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes,” Haley admitted bluntly, crossing her arms. A flash of recognition passed her eyes when she thought of an idea. A good one that’s for sure. “Since you’re a hard worker and all, I bet you’ll understand my point of view here.”

“Haley,” Emily warned. Haley ignores her, deciding to shift her attention to the newcomer.

You tilt your head in confusion. “What’s going on?”

Emily sighs in exasperation, before offering you a kind smile. “I’m really sorry to involve you in this, Y/n/n. Haley,” she shot her a dirty look, “is complaining because I asked her to clean the cushions—”

“— which you should be doing because it’s your schedule, not mine yet you’re shifting the blame to me.” Haley finishes for her. She turns to you, further proving her point. “It’s important to mention that I already cleaned them last week.”

“Haley…”

“Shut it, Em. I want to hear what she has to say. What’s the verdict?”

Haley may seem cool outside but she’s actually hoping for you to side her on this one. She knew she was on the right side. If you were to side with Emily, then that’s like a double edge of crap in some way and Haley refuses to bleed in front of you two.

You were silent for a good second, chewing your lips, deep in thought. Your eyes flicked back and forth between the sisters.

“Haley,” you prompted, voice slow and measured. Haley already knew at this point whom you sided with. “Why not have this be your one weekly job?”

Not that it’s important but it stings.

Haley turns to retreat to her room, but you must have noticed the look of utter disappointment on her face. You grabbed Haley's hand in panic, halting her in her tracks. The blonde couldn't help but freeze at the sudden touch. "W-wait. I’m not siding on anyone," You quickly clarified, hoping to diffuse the tension.

Haley raised a skeptical eyebrow, not entirely convinced. "Sure," she replied flatly.

“I just thought it would be the best course of action, so you don’t have to argue over it again. If you took this job, Emily won’t bother you again with cleaning the bathroom every two days. Isn’t that right, Em?”

“Yeah!” Emily agrees immediately. “Wait, what?”

Haley turns and finds you smiling down at her, clearly amused at Emily’s reaction. “doesn’t that sound more appealing?”

It does. She hates cleaning the bathroom with great passion, more so than cleaning under the cushions. If this also means it could possibly reduce Emily’s daily nagging, then your idea doesn’t seem the worst plan ever.

“Alright, you win.” Haley tried so hard to keep a straight face when she saw that stupid smile emerging again. “I guess this can be my job every week. Then there won’t be any reason to argue over it.”

Emily eyes her a bit at her sudden compliance with everything before turning back to you with an almost appreciative look. “Thanks, Y/n/n. That was a great solution.”

“Heh,” you must have noticed Haley’s eyes burning at your conjoined hands. With a timid chuckle, you retreated your hand back as you scratched your nape almost shyly. “It’s no problem, really.”

“Why don’t you stay for breakfast?” Emily suggested. “I’m almost finished cooking anyway.”

“It’s okay, thanks! But I don’t really want to impose.”

“Nonsense! I’m sure my sister won’t mind you joining us. Right, Hay?” Emily raises an equally blue eyebrow at her sister, who seemed to be in a daze.

“Your hands are rough and warm.”

“Huh?”

Your confusion snapped her out of her trance. She meets your eyes for a brief moment before glancing away. “I mean— what I meant to say was,” she sputtered pathetically. “Yeah, you can join us for breakfast.” She forces out a smile, hoping Yoba will answer her prayer one more time.

“Good!” Emily beamed. “Then I’ll get on with it. Haley, please keep our guest occupied.”

“You sure?” You asked one more time, probably noticing the grimace obviously etched on her face.

“Of course.”

“Hmm. Okay, then how about we clean these cushions now? So, you won’t have to clean them later?”

“Eh? It’s fine. I can do that later.”

“I insist. Two pairs of hands are better than one, y’know?”

“Ugh. Of course, you’ll say some dorky crap like that. Yoba, fine you can help.”

You can only laugh at her antics before moving to lift the couch.

Spring 14

She used to like her birthdays.

At least that’s what she likes to think.

What she allows herself to think.

And what she likes others to think.

It’s easier to blend into the stereotypes rather than oppose them and still get judged after.

Haley’s been called names already, all too many to even mention.

Spoiled.

Arrogant.

Self-centered and conceited.

If they are harsh enough, sometimes they’ll call her a dumb bitch.

As harsh as they are, Haley learned over the years to desensitize herself to them. Why allow yourself to be hurt by the same thing over and over again?

Her parents raised her and Emily in this big house back in Zuzu City. It was big, enormous even but empty. Can you call it home when no one cares enough to stick around? When all there ever was were big parties, and holidays spent with strangers she barely talked to, raised like the perfect little girl that she is, given with just as empty praises and gifts just as thoughtless.

Haley is practically the epitome of class and luxury. The living embodiment of perfection. Perfect face, perfect body, and oh-so-perfect stats. She’s smart (street smart or preferably photography smart if there’s one or whatever), rich and famous. Most importantly, she’s popular and has a reputation to protect.

Everything that Emily probably isn’t. Yet she’s the one happier.

She’s the one who moved on while Haley remains still where their parents left them.

How could they be gone though if, in the first place, they were never present? Where were they when Haley won her first photography contest? Did they know the photo was Emily sewing her first design? Haley doesn’t think so.

They are not abusive though. In terms of needs, they never wasted seconds to tend them in the most grandiose and luxurious ways as possible— the newest phone, latest camera, expensive make-up, and all available seasonal designer clothes. Good but not great either. Haley can say they are just plainly emotionally unavailable. They weren’t ready at all to be parents. They were too young when they had Emily.

Early twenties were not even that young, but it was a stage of exploring the world and what it could still possibly offer them. They can’t have all that with children in tow. So, when the opportunity arises, they took it without hesitations. After all, both their children are fully capable on their own.

But Haley needed someone. She needed a father. She needed her mother. Hell, she needed her sister. She needed someone warm, a nicer, wiser person. Someone to cry to, to talk to, to laugh to.

She calls out but the house is empty.

So, tell me. How can I be childish when I’m forced to grow up because everyone already is?

Haley hated them with passion. The crumpled piece of letter in her hand was obvious enough to what extent she does.

Another birthday card.

No hugs and kisses.

No cake.

No parents.

Some birthday this is.

She lets out a dry chuckle. It seems Emily had forgotten about her day. She had taken off at dawn's first light without even a second thought. While Alex? She doesn’t expect him to remember. At least not until later than noon. The idiot, really.

“Thought I’d find you here.” Haley didn’t have to look up to see who it was, but she did anyway. There you are with your blinding smile again. Beads of sweat can be seen forming on the side of your forehead just below a small cut that seemed to be healing well already. Your clothes are lightly butchered, a sign you were up and about on your farm yet the sight of you lifted her spirit a little. 

“Done with your chores?” she asked as you sat down next to her. Weirdly enough, the smell of dirt doesn't seem sore on the nose anymore, and Haley starts to wonder why.

It was a pleasantly warm Sunday. Usually, the kids will be playing here and Haley's glad she get to enjoy a quiet time in the park even for a little time.

You hummed. “Woke up extra early to finish them all.”

“Why? You have plans?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Naw, had to run some errands so I can give you this,” You turned to your rucksack that Haley failed to notice once again. It was bulging. Haley could only catch sight of the color brown before you successfully hid it behind your back. “Give me your hands.”

Haley narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to prank me, are you?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Is it a bug? You know I hate them.”

“Just do it, Hay.”

Surprised at the sudden usage of the nickname, Haley finally complied. She desperately hopes the sunlight would hide the tinge of redness starting to form on her cheeks.

Carefully, you placed a coconut on her open palms. It was plump and perfectly shaped as if it had been carefully chosen just for her. It was even wrapped poorly with a red ribbon that is a bit wrinkly and crinkled on the edges which must be because of how it was forcefully shoved in her bag. But Haley didn't find it in herself to mind. Not when you're looking at her like that as you hold your gift.

“Happy birthday, Haley,” you greeted warmly.

Haley blinked, her eyes started to water, her insides warming up in all ways possible. But she didn’t dare cry.

"I... I love coconuts." Haley looked up. Her own lips betrayed her as they curled up in the widest grin she ever had. “How did you know?”

“Well...” You scratched the back of your head, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “Remember when you treated my cut the other day? You made me choose between a sunflower band-aid or a coconut one. So, I kinda assumed they were your favorites.”

“B-but how? You can’t possibly summon a coconut tree at will, or even had the time to go to Calico desert.”

You laughed at that. “It was pure luck, Hay. I just talked to the traveling merchant the other day and she said she had a couple of ones in stock. But she warned me I had to buy one early today or else she’ll run out just before noon.”

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.”

“No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Happiness looks good on you, too.

****

Previous

Next

A/n: I hoped I did Haley's heart event justice because she deserved soooo much better. I refuse to believe her mean girl façade is because she's plain mean. My girl is better than that.

Anyway, sorry for the super late update. You know, the usual, due to school stuff and it just so happens senior year is the busiest year of all. Had to make sure I'm complying with all the needed requirements so I can graduate this year.

Thank you, guys, for your patience. Love y'all but I love my wife more <3

[sequinsmile-x]

Quality Time

She missed her husband, even though he was right there with her.

Part of the Love Languages series

-x-

Hi besties,

This is just...pure fluff really because that is all my brain was capable of after a very busy few days at work.

This is just these two idiots being idiots for each other.

I really hope you like it, as always please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: pregnancy

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

It’s late when he gets home. 

He feels the tension in his shoulders start to ease the moment he steps over the threshold into the house, the sense of home washing over him as he closes the door behind him, locking out anything other than his family on the other side. 

He pauses as he turns from the door when he hears the low hum of the television. He checks his watch and frowns when he realises just how late it is, surprised that anyone is still awake. He walks towards the living room, a purpose in his step, and as he gets closer he realises it’s one of his wife’s favourite reality TV shows, something she’d sworn him to secrecy over when they first started dating. He half expects to find Emily asleep on the couch, slumped over with her hand pressed against her stomach after she’d lost the battle against sleep to stay up for him, but instead when he walks in she’d wide awake, her focus torn from the TV as he enters the room. 

“Hi honey,” she says, sitting up a little straighter when he walks over, one of her hands on her baby bump as she kisses him before he joins her on the couch, slipping under her legs as she raises them just enough for him to sit, “You made good time.” 

“Traffic wasn’t bad,” he replies, squeezing her foot, smiling softly when she groans in pleasure, “You didn’t have to wait up.” 

She shrugs like it’s nothing, like she wasn’t just shy of 8 months pregnant and constantly exhausted, “It’s okay, I wanted to see you.” 

He frowns, seeds of concern planting deep in his chest, her tone of voice, the way she was holding herself tightly, both of her hands on her bump as she absentmindedly drew patterns on it. 

“You’re tired. I wouldn’t have minded if you’d just gone to bed, I’ll be here in the morning anyway.”

She scoffs, unable to stop herself, hormones, exhaustion and irritation she knows he doesn’t deserve swirling in her gut, “Yeah, if you didn’t get called away for a case.” 

His concern for her immediately gets worse, the flowers of it taking up all the space in his chest, burning against his lungs as she tries to figure out what is wrong. She’d been okay when they spoke earlier, relieved even when he told her that they were about to fly home. It’s a flash of his past life, a momentary collision of his marriage to Haley forcing its way into his marriage to Emily. 

She’d never had an issue with his job, with their job, and she understood the unpredictable nature of it. Things had been different lately since she’d stopped going on cases with the team, he knew that, and he knew she missed being a part of it. 

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” 

She blows out a breath, embarrassment at her outburst colouring her cheeks, and she shakes her head, “Nothing. Sorry, I think I’m just hormonal,” she flashes a tight smile at him, “Your kid is ruining me.” 

He squeezes her foot again to get her attention after her failed attempt to deflect, his face nothing but kind as he looks expectantly at her, their promise to never lie to each other on the tip of his tongue, “Em…”

She looks down at her bump and clenches her teeth, desperately trying to stave off the tears she can feel pressing at the back of her eyes. Pregnancy had left her on a razor's edge, everything sharp and making her prone to breaking down at the tiniest thing. It was driving her crazy, irritation at herself that only ever seemed to make things worse, her head swimming with emotion she was trying and failing to push down. 

“I…” she says, clearing her throat when her voice wavers, shaking her head at herself as she chuckles humourlessly, removing a hand from her bump to wipe tears from her cheek, “I just miss you,” she says, wiping away another tear. She shrugs as she avoids eye contact with him, embarrassed in a way she doesn’t understand, her love for him overwhelming even after all this time. “That’s all.” 

“Em,” he says softly, moving closer to place a hand on her knee, squeezing gently as she looks up at him, his smile gentle as their eyes meet, “I’m right here.” 

She blows out a breath and rubs her hand over her belly as she feels the baby move, a constant reminder these days that she isn’t alone. She’d spent so much of her life chasing something exactly like this - a family to call her own. She had Aaron and Jack and the baby and she always would. 

She’d never be alone again. 

“I know. I think it’s because you’re going on cases and I’m not. I miss spending time just the two of us - which we never got a whole lot of anyway,” she smiles, an edge of sadness mixed in with the happiness as she reaches for his hand and places it on her stomach where the baby is kicking, “And we’re about to have even less of it.” 

She’d stopped going on cases earlier than she’d originally intended. Pregnancy had been much harder on her than she’d anticipated, the nausea in the first trimester giving way almost immediately to exhaustion when it faded away. She’d wanted to carry on, content to sit in precincts and work on victimology because it made her feel useful, like she was still contributing to the team, but Aaron and her doctor convinced her it was time to stay home just as she turned 6 months pregnant. She hated that they were right, that she felt better for it, and she mostly hated that it meant she saw less of her husband than she was used to. 

Since the start of their relationship, they’d spent practically all of their time together. It was clear from their first date that they were it for each other, a type of pull she knew she’d never felt before, her love for him overwhelming from even before their first kiss. They spent all their spare time together, she slept at his most nights - content to hang out with him and Jack until the little boy went to bed and then they’d get some time alone. Despite initially saying they wouldn’t, they snuck into each other’s rooms on cases before they told the team about their relationship. They were both aware that they slept better with the other there, a type of peace neither of them thought they’d ever experience again. 

She missed him. Their bed felt bare without him, their choice of buying a super king even though they snuggled, more than half the bed empty even with them both in it, feeling all the more absurd when it was just her and her pregnancy pillow in it. Occasionally Jack would sneak in and join her, his small hands on her face as he woke her to tell her he’d had a bad dream. She’d feel guilty by feeling relieved when she had him there with her, the little boy she loved as her own pressed up against her whilst her baby shifted under her skin. 

Aaron smiles softly at her, rubbing his hand on her bump for a moment longer before he links their fingers together and lifts their joint hands to his mouth. He presses a delicate kiss to her knuckles and it gets her attention, her eyes meet his again, and he tucks some of her hair behind her ear. 

“Sweetheart,” he says softly, “I miss you too.” 

Even though it was almost six weeks since she stopped going away on cases he still found himself looking for her, his eyes flitting around a room she wasn’t in to look for her reassurance, for the love she always freely gave him. He missed having her there, her smile sometimes the only good thing that would happen to him on a hard day at work. He found it difficult to sleep in hotel beds that she wasn’t in with him, her weight against his chest, her breath skipping across his neck as she slept, both as essential to him for a good night's sleep as a dark room and a decent mattress. 

She was his safety net. His port in a storm. And whilst he was excited for this next step in their life, close to desperate sometimes to meet their baby, to see the face he’d imagined for months, he knew he’d miss this stage. 

She smiles sadly at him and stamps a kiss against his lips before she rests her head on his shoulder, “Sorry I kind of ruined the mood the moment you got home.” 

“You could never ruin the mood,” he assures her, turning his head to kiss her temple. He tugs her in closer, a tightness in his chest that had been there for days easing now she was in his arms, and he feels an idea start to form, a smile spreading across his face as he pulls back to look at her, “Why don’t we go somewhere? Just the two of us.”

She hums, her eyebrows knitting together as she looks him up and down, “What? Like a babymoon?” 

He frowns, tilting his head as their eyes meet, confusion painted across his face in a way that she finds nothing short of adorable, “What the hell is a babymoon?” 

She chuckles and runs her fingers through his hair, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she tries to tamper down her amusement, “It’s a trip you go on before the baby comes. Pen was telling me about them.” 

He smiles and nods, “Then yes, exactly like a babymoon,” he says, not missing how her smile gets wider as he says it, “We could go to Virginia Beach. Get a rental right near the water. Spend some time just you and me before this little one joins us and life gets a lot busier.” 

She wants to do it more than anything, wants to spend some uninterrupted time away with him, something they hadn’t done since their honeymoon almost 8 months ago, but she sighs, the reality of their lives causing anxiety to spike in her chest. 

“What about work? We’re both taking some time off when the baby comes, I don’t want it to be a problem.”  

Aaron squeezes her hand reassuringly, “Em, we both have enough leave days banked to take a year off if we wanted to,” he says, smiling when she nods, “If you want to do this we’ll do it. I’ll book us a place to stay tonight.” 

She doesn’t have to think about it, doesn’t have to mull it over anymore and she nods, kissing him fiercely as she leans in. 

“Yes,” she says, kissing him again before she pulls away, “I want to go away with you,” her words disappear into a laugh as he pulls her in for a hug, her bump pressed up against his side, as he kisses her temple. She sinks into it, into him and wraps her arms around him, her cheek against his shoulder as she sighs, a relaxed feeling washing over her for the first time in weeks, “If you think about it, it’s perfect timing.” 

He furrows his brow as he pulls back to look at her, curiosity sparking in his eyes as she tries to suppress a smile, a hint of mischievousness in it that never fails to make his stomach swoop, “What do you mean, sweetheart?” 

Her smile only gets wider, “Well you got me pregnant on our honeymoon,” she says, shrugging playfully, “It seems like a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.” 

“Em.”

___

He knows they’ve made the right decision the moment they get to their vacation rental. 

She’s instantly more relaxed than she has been in weeks, a softness to her smile that makes him want to call up the owner of the beach house and offer to buy it off of him. 

“I can help with the bags you know,” she says, her eyebrow raised at him as he gets their bags out of the trunk of their car, her pregnancy pillow tucked under his arm as he shuffles towards the stairs leading up to the house. 

“I’ve got it,” he says, ignoring the strain in his back as he makes it up the stairs, smiling at her when she rolls her eyes. He sets down the cases and crouches down to press a kiss to her bump, “You’re already carrying the most important cargo.” 

She chuckles wryly and runs her fingers through his hair, fighting a smile as he kisses her bump again, “You’re ridiculous,” she says, shaking his head as he straightens back up, her gaze drifting to where her pillow was still tucked under his arm, “If you drop my pregnancy pillow I’ll kill you, and we both know I’d be able to - even if I am the most pregnant person to ever exist.” 

He clears his throat, well aware that whilst her threat was playful she’d be mad if she thought he was laughing at her.

“Yes, sweetheart,” he says, kissing her again before he digs through his pockets for the key to the house. He unlocks the door and pushes it open, his hand splayed on her lower back as he guides her in, “Why don’t you look around, make yourself comfortable, and I’ll get everything in from the car. The owner said his wife would leave lemonade and homemade cookies.”

Her eyes light up and she looks down at her stomach, already walking into the house before she replies, her focus on their unborn child, “Did you hear that, baby? Cookies!” 

When he’s done bringing in their things, the suitcases carried up to the bedroom and her pillow diligently placed on her side of the bed, he finds her on the back porch sitting in the swing, her gaze fixed on the ocean and the seemingly unending horizon. She turns to look at him as he steps out, her smile wry as he unfolds a blanket as he joins her, laying it over both of their laps, making sure her bump is covered, when he sits down. 

“It’s not even cold out,” she says, wrapping both her arms around one of his, her hand squeezing gently at his tricep as she lays her head against his shoulder. 

“I know,” he replies, resting his cheek against the top of her head, “But I’ve got to look after the two of you,” he adds, placing his hand on her bump, smiling at the movement of the baby, something that got no less amazing no matter how often he felt it, “So,” he says, kissing Emily’s forehead before he pulls back to look at her, “We have four days to do whatever we want.” 

She hums and tilts her head to look up at him, the reality of being here with him, the next few days stretched out ahead of them washing over her, “I’d like to say we could have a crazy amount of sex and barely leave the house,” she laments, “But I think all I want to do is nap, eat and sit right here with you.” 

“Then that’s exactly what we’ll do,” he assures her, resting his hand on her neck, his thumb tracing her jawline, “As long as I’m with you I don’t mind what we do,” he says, leaning in to kiss the tip of her nose, “And, I have it under good authority that a restaurant just down the street has to die for mac and cheese and they deliver.”

She moans, the sound turning into a delighted laugh as she closes her eyes, “You really know what a pregnant woman loves to hear.” 

He hums, kissing her forehead before he lets his hand fall back to her bump, “Maybe I just really know my wife.” 

She can’t explain the feeling that swells in her chest, threatening to pull her under as tears press at the back of her eyes. It was moments like this, moments when it was just him and her and their love for each other when she let herself feel the happiness she never thought she’d get, let herself bask in it. 

She wasn’t lucky, this hadn’t fallen into her lap. She’d fought for this. Fought to get here and sometimes she’d lost, tripped and fell as the battle seemed too much, but she’d made it here. Made it to him, and he’d done the same to make it to her. They’d endured so much apart, but she knew whatever came next, the good and the bad, they’d face together. 

She cups his cheek and rubs her thumb back and forth over his skin, “You’re the love of my life, you know,” she says, her cheeks warm with love and a hint of embarrassment, “I can’t imagine wanting to do any of this with anyone else.” 

“You’re the love of my life too,”  he says, and he places his hand over hers on his cheek and leans in to kiss her, “I can’t imagine doing it with anyone else either,” he says, frowning at himself when he says it, realising it sounds clumsy because he had done it with someone else. 

A shaky breath escapes him, her admission not new but unexpected in the moment, their conversation about her favourite pregnancy food suddenly turning into more. He loved her so much it hurt sometimes. It was different to how he’d loved Haley. They’d grown up together, had initially grown together and then apart, both of them still in love with a version of themselves that no longer existed. He and Emily loved each other for who they were, for what they’d gone through, and he knew he’d have it for the rest of his life. 

He sighs at himself and shakes his head, “I mean-”

“I know what you mean,” she says softly, cutting him off as she presses her thumb into his lower lip, “I’m glad we came here.” 

He rests his forehead against hers, “Me too.” 

They sit there for a few moments in silence, the only sound the waves crashing against the shore in the background. The moment comes to an end when her stomach audibly makes a noise that makes them both laugh, the baby almost moving in tandem. 

“I think baby wants some of that mac and cheese,” she says, leaning into his palm when he wipes away a stray tear that had escaped her lashline. 

He chuckles, pressing a kiss against her lips before he kisses her bump. He stands up to find the stack of take-out menus the owner had left out, but she stops him, her hand tight around his as if she didn’t want him to go, “I’ll be right back.” 

She sighs and relents, letting go of him before she winks at him, “Make sure to bring me some of those cookies on your way back.” 

“Anything you want, sweetheart,” he says as he steps back into the house, “Absolutely anything.” 

-x-

Tag List:

@ssa-sparks , @ptrckjcne , @glockleveledatyourcrotch , @hotchnissenthusiast , @danadeservesadrink , @ssamorganhotchner , @emilyprentissisgod , @notagentprentiss , @freesiasandfics , @emilyshotchniss , @thecharmingart , @paulitalblond , @hancydrewfan , @camille093 , @whitecrossgirl , @moonlight-2-6, @rawr-jess , @florerenceremintonthethird, @jareauswife , @ms-black-a , @beebeelank , @aubreyprc , @zipzapboingg , @psychopath-at-heart , @criminalmindsgonewrong , @fionaloover , @kinqslcys , @prentissinred , @ccmattis-22 , @denvivale317 , @thrindis . @hotchsguccitie , @cmfouatslota77 , @alexblakegf , @aliensaurusrex, @prentissxhotch , @emobabeyy , @victoiregranger , @stormyweatherth , @wanderingdreamer009 , @ssablackbird , @luhwithah , @lex13cm , @prentiss-theorem, @dont-emily-me , @mrs-ssa-hotch , @jocyycreation, @itsmytimetoodream , @hotchnissgroupie, @controversialpooh, @capsshinyshield , @canuck-eh

Join my tag list here!

[drawing-hearts]

15 lyrics that make you think of me, for whatever reason, when you hear them

1. “It feels good to be known so well” -true blue by boygenius 🥺🥺🥺

2. “Cause honey I don’t know where to go when you’re gone” -bathroom floor by kc rae

3. “Fuck anyone who says they doubt you I love everything about you, you know” -going home by the aces

4. “I don’t wanna board that plane, twenty more til we’re at the airport, extra time is all I’m hoping for” -red lights by haley joelle ❤️

5. “I chose you, you chose me” -chosen family by rina sawayama <3

6. “Listen I know it’s been a long long year but I think we should go and get you out of here I’ll go anywhere with you” -anywhere with you by maggie rogers :’))) so true maggie

7. “I feel myself falling further down your priorities” -how many things by sabrina carpenter (obviously not in a bad way, for the memory connected to it 🥺🥺🥺)

8. “May these memories break our fall” -long live by taylor swift 😭😭😭

9. “When did you last eat? Come in and make yourself right at home, stay as long as you need” -two by sleeping at last

10. “Just give me trust and watch what’ll happen” -I know a place by muna

11. “It’s sad to breathe the air when you’re not there” -sad to breathe by the japanese house …. hurts my feelings <3

12. “All that I need is your warm embrace, never have I ever felt so safe” -sleepy by ashley kutcher

13. “Whatever you want” -graceland too by phoebe bridgers 🥺🥺🥺🥺

14. “I love you more than the moon and the stars” -cupid by xana :’)))

15. “There’s always been a rainbow hanging over your head” -rainbow by kacey musgraves

[we-are-all-of-legend-now]

Fictober Day 5: You're The Smartest Person I Know

Prompt number: Prompt #5

Fandom: American Dragon Jake Long

Pairings/Characters: Jake/Rose; Haley; Lao Shi

Rating: T

Warnings: violence; death(s); blood

You can read under the cut or click here to read it on fanfiction

"I don't know! I don't know! I don't know!"

Rose grabbed Haley by the shoulders, forcing the younger girl to look at her. "Haley, you need to focus. I know you're going into shock so take some deep breaths. You do know, you just need to take it slow. What happened?"

Haley took a deep breath, her wings flapping anxiously behind her, splattering blood on the ground. "There was someone, something in the sky with us! Then, we were on the ground and they were fighting and ... and ... Jake was bleeding and I think Gramps stopped moving and … and … I ran away!"

"Shhh, honey, it's okay," Rose said, trying to fight down her own panic. “Who’s we? You and Gramps? You and Jake?”

                “All of us,” Haley sniffled.

                Rose couldn’t help the way that her heart stopped and her veins went cold. She was never going to be able to be cool, calm, and confident when Jake was in danger. She wanted to shake Haley and get all the information because Rose had to go now. They were in the middle of the freaking woods on a camping trip that had been such a good idea when Jonathan had proposed family bonding. It could take hours to find them given how fast dragons moved and the fact that Rose couldn’t hear a single sound that would indicate a fight.

                “Did you see what took you out of the sky?”

                Haley shook her head. “Rose, what do we do?”

                “You’re going to have to take me there.”

                Admittedly, Rose felt better when she let go of Haley and went to get her Huntstaff. She hated to use it; she hated to remember that she wasn’t just a high school student. That being said, with who Jake was and who she was, it was stupid of her to go anywhere without it. Rose felt better armed and with something to do.

                Haley was blanching, launching back into her panic attack. “I can’t – I can’t – I can’t! I don’t know how to get there or what those things were and I’m going to make it worse because I ran away!”

                Rose ran her hands through Haley’s hair, snuggling the girl close, and thinking they were wasting time. “It’ll be okay. You know how to get there. All you have to do is take me there too. Don’t worry about anything else.”

                Haley pulled out of Rose’s grasp. “It’s going to hurt!”

                Rose gritted her teeth. Haley was just a little girl – a scared, hurt little girl. Rose strove for patience and for kindness but all she could think of was Jake.

                “I know, I know, but we’ve gotta go help Gramps and Jake, right? Strength in numbers.”

                Haley nodded hesitantly. “Yes, that makes sense.”

                “So, let’s go.”

                Haley took to the air, needing to see over the canopy of trees to try and get her bearings. Rose followed on foot, trying to keep sight of the young dragon between the leaves of the thick trees. She felt like they’d been going for hours but was probably only minutes in the dark forest and Rose no longer had any sense of where their campsite was or where they were going. Finally, Haley landed, breathing heavily, the wounds on her wings pouring blood.

                “I DON’T KNOW!” she shouted. “I’m too dumb to find them! I’m too stupid! I can’t help them!”

                “Haley!” Rose shook Haley’s shoulders, finally losing her temper. “You’re the smartest person I know and you are the only person who can get us there to help them. What do you think is going to happen if we don’t show up? If Jake was bleeding and Gramps stopped moving, what do you think is happening right now!?”

                Haley was openly weeping; Rose would feel bad about it later. Later, when they were all safe and warm around the campfire with smores.

                “They’re going to die,” Haley whispered.

                “That’s right,” Rose said, trying not to feel how true those words could really be. “So, think. Where were you? What could you see?”

                Haley nodded and took off into the air again. Rose ran beneath her but, this time, Rose could hear the rumble of a battle going on before they had gone incredibly far. Rose sprinted toward it, trying to make out the movements in the darkness. The bright red of Jake’s scales were the most obvious things as he grappled against the shadows. Rose caught sight of Lao Shi’s blue scales but, like Haley had said, he wasn’t moving. Rose skirted around the edges of the fight, not wanting to distract Jake, and wanting to get to Lao Shi. She was also racking her brain, trying to figure out what these pitch-black things were. Rose knelt down by Lao Shi’s side, putting her hand in front of his large nostrils but she felt no puff of breath.

                Shit.

                Rose stood and bowed her head, before taking her full-sized staff into her hand. Her heart hurt but she knew what her job was and what the only way to honour him was: save his grandchildren.

                “Jake!” Rose shouted, hating to distract him but needing him to know she was here. “What’s happening?”

                Jake spun to the side, putting the bulk of his body between Rose and whatever was happening.

                Jake was heaving for breath as he panted, “I don’t know. They’re sharp and they’re vicious and I think there’s four of them. I don’t even know if I landed a blow.”

                “Retreat?” Rose asked. “If we’re in their nest –”

                “Tried. They hunt.” Jake’s large claws dug into the earth. “Gramps?”

                “Sorry.” Jake let out a roar, sending fire over the forest.

                For a moment, the world was illuminated and Rose could see what they were fighting against. They looked almost like giant bats with long claws at the very end of their wings and large teeth. They were completely black and when Jake’s fire faded, Rose was left blinded. What little adjustment she’d had was completely gone. She couldn’t see a thing except – purple.

                Haley.

                Rose wanted to tell Haley to get the hell away. She was too panicked. She was too vulnerable. Rose launched forward and then it was too late. She heard the screams and then she felt the blood coat her, warm and sticky against her bare face. Rose was sure there was some in her mouth and she felt like she was going to throw up. That was so much blood. And the screams had stopped.

                Jake jumped over her head, launching himself into the fray again. Rose fell to her knees, crawling around on the dark forest floor until she felt Haley’s little hand. Rose pulled the body toward her, leaning her head down, hoping for a breath of life. There was nothing. Rose wanted to cry and scream and mourn but she couldn’t. Not yet. Not when there was still Jake to protect. Jake, who was her whole heart. Jake, who would never recover from this, but she had to be there to help him try.

                Rose stabbed in front of her, hearing a rustle of the woods. One of the things let out a high-pitched squeal.

                “ROSE! Are you okay!?”

                “I’m fine! I got a hit!”

                Rose could already see Jake’s red body bounding toward her, not protecting his back or his vulnerable wings. She could feel the flapping of the bat-creatures around her and she knew where they were going. She launched herself forward with a fury, thinking that she had to save Jake. Nothing mattered if she didn’t save Jake. She thought she hit one but hitting one wasn’t the same as hitting four and there was a sickening crunch as one of Jake’s wings flattened against his body. Rose punched her staff forward again, hitting nothing but air. There was another crunch and a howl from Jake. She was only seeing flashes of his scales between the bodies of the bat-creatures and she was worried about lashing out, just in case she hurt him too.

                Jake started to scream, a high-pitched unholy sound that rocked Roes to her core. She knew that it didn’t matter if she hit him; she wasn’t going to do as much damage as the dog-pile that he was under. She went in swinging but it didn’t matter how hard she hit or hacked or stabbed. The creatures didn’t seem to take any damage. She made it to the middle of the pack, thinking that if she could just hit their fronts instead of their backs it might make a difference. When she got to Jake, he was nearly collapsed, his wings shredded and half his tail missing. He let out a death rattle, lacking the strength to pick himself up off the ground.

                “Come on!” Rose shouted. “Jake, keep fighting!”

                Deep down, she knew that he couldn’t. Deep down, she knew it was over. Rose collapsed to her knees in front of Jake, taking his head in her lap and bending over him, as if she could protect him. She put her mouth next to his ear.

                “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

                “I love you.”

                Rose felt the moment that he was gone.

                Rose let her tears fall as she sat up and threw her staff as far away from her as she could. If he was gone, she wanted to go too. Rose curled up against his side, closing her eyes, and waiting for the pain to come. She could hear the rustling of the creatures’ wings and then she could feel the wind as they started to leave.

                “NO!” Rose howled. “NO! Come back and kill me!”

                There were departing.

                “No,” Rose sobbed. “No, please, don’t leave me alive!”

                But, alive she was, without any of the things that made being alive worth it.

[scribbles97]

Left Behind - Chapter 51

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 Chapter 48 / Chapter 49 / Chapter 50 Read on Ao3

Scott looked up at the knock on the door, straightening at the sight of Tia’s parents. He looked back to her, squeezing her hand lightly, not expecting a response. 

“It’s your Mom and Dad.” He whispered, hoping that maybe she could at least hear him. 

He frowned at the third figure at the door, “And my Mom.”

It had taken them long enough to appear, Tia had been in surgery for six hours. He had been sat with her for the last twenty minutes waiting for an update from the doctors on what exactly had taken so long. 

“Scott,” Haley greeted as she stepped into the room, “Thank you for sitting with her.”

Forcing a smile he nodded, “I’m afraid the doctors haven’t been through to tell us the prognosis yet.”

“No,” Dean stated as he closed the door, “We spoke to them just outside.”

He straightened, glancing to his mother in worry. They had been the ones to bring Tia in, he knew it was against IR protocol to follow up on rescuees. She was one of their own though, it was different. So entirely different. 

“What did they say?” He asked, looking between the three of them. 

“It’s none of your concern.” 

Anger welled in his chest as he spun to look back to Haley. He had come in with her, waited for her, sat with her waiting for her to wake up. He loved her. 

“Excuse me?” He snapped, “I--”

“Scott.” Mom cut him off, “It’s time to go.”

“No.” He shook his head, taking Tia’s hand again, “No, I’m not leaving her.”

There was an apology in his mother’s eyes as she held a hand out to him, “Scott.” 

“No!” He exclaimed, “I’m not--”

Weak thin fingers squeezed his hand, cutting off his second protest as Tia’s eyes screwed up. His heart lurched at the movement, all his focus suddenly on her. It was easy to forget the others in the room as she visibly swallowed and sighed heavily. 

“Keep the noise down would ya?” She whispered, each word heavy from her lips. 

“Oh baby,” Haley stepped up at her other side, taking her bandaged hand without much care for the gash Scott knew was beneath the material. 

Tia winced, her eyes flicking open and towards her mother wearily as her lips twisted.

“Ow.”

“Does it hurt?” Dean asked, hovering over his wife’s shoulder, “We’ll get you some more painkillers darling.”

Scott glared, “She doesn’t need more painkillers, you’re squeezing her bad hand.”

Tia sighed again, twisting her head to look over to him. He smiled as her lips twitched up slightly at him, her hand tensing slightly around his again. 

“Hey,” She whispered, “You’re stayin’.”

Scott nodded, lifting her hand to kiss her fingers, “Wouldn’t dream of leaving.”

“Wha’ did doc’s say?” She murmured, eyes glassy but still watching him. 

“Honey,” Haley murmured, touching Tia’s shoulder lightly, “You need to rest, you’ve been through a lot today.” 

It was hard not to scoff at the comment. They hadn’t been there, they hadn’t stood waiting to dig her out of the rubble. They hadn’t watched as she had been rushed to theatre, or waited whilst she was in surgery. 

A glance to his own mother reminded him that that wasn’t all their fault though. Tia’s parents weren’t in the rescue business. They had no idea of what went on at the scene of an accident, but nor did so many others. That was why his family did what they did, so others didn’t have to go through it. 

On the other hand, he had been the one sat in the hospital chair, or worse, the one in the bed. He’d been there, gone through the motions enough times before. He knew what she needed to hear, and it wasn’t an instruction to rest. 

“Lucy?” Tia frowned looking down the bed, “Wha’ did they say?”

Scott looked to his mother, unsure if she would answer or not. 

Her smile was soft though as she moved around to Scott’s side of the bed, perching carefully on the edge of the mattress. Each movement was calculated, Scott had seen her do this before, seen the way her smile was soft and reassuring but her eyes were tired and heavy. 

Dread settled in his stomach as her hand rested on the bulk of the cast around Tia’s leg. 

“The doctor will be here soon to tell you.”

It was a tactical play if ever Scott had heard one. Mom had been the one triaging onboard Two alongside Virgil. They’d have done a med scan, they both would know the extent of her injuries. 

Tia frowned, obviously knowing just the same. 

“Tee, honey,” Her mother brushed her cheek, drawing Tia’s eyes back to her, “You need to rest, don’t worry about what the doctors have to say.”

Tia shook her head slightly, looking back to Lucy as she pursed her lips.

“I want to know.”

Scott knew the feeling, knew what it was like to wake up fuzzy and aching without quite knowing what exactly hurt. There was nothing worse than the not knowing, the not remembering. 

“Tia-” Her father started as the door opened. 

Scott recognised the doctor as the one that had stepped out of the theatre and offered him a tight smile but no words of assurance.

“Miss Anwar, I’m glad to see you’re awake.” He nodded to her, “I’m Doctor Hampton. How are you feeling?”

“Fuzzy.” Tia sighed heavily. 

The doctor nodded again as he glanced to the datapad in his hand, “That’ll be the painkillers we have you on. I’d like to go through your injuries with you, is that alright?”

Scott knew that the real question was if she wanted everyone to remain in the room. 

“They can stay.” Tia murmured, “I don’ mind.”

Scott avoided looking across to her parents, knowing he would only receive dirty looks for his effort. 

“I’m one of the trauma specialists here,” The doctor started, “My team and I are responsible for cases such as yours where there are multiple complicated injuries as a result of a major event.”

“Like a building landing on top of you?” Tia grinned briefly. 

“Exactly.” He smiled briefly back, “You were in good hands on your way in. I’ve worked a lot of cases that the Tracys have brought in.” 

Scott couldn’t help but grin as Tia’s eyes flicked up to him, her own smile mirroring his as she murmured, “Tell me somethin’ I don’ know.”

If her father scoffed quietly, they both ignored it. 

“Considering the incident you were in, most of your injuries are relatively straight forward, you dislocated your shoulder and had some nasty cuts and bumps.” Hampton started, holding Tia’s gaze as she spoke, “There was a nice clean break to your leg that we have set and should heal well. You were also bleeding internally when you arrived but we found the vessel easily and ligated it.”

It was the way that Mom looked away that caught Scott’s eye. The way she set her shoulders and her hand shifted slightly on Tia’s leg. There was something more, something bigger. 

“Unfortunately Doctor Griffiths had to rush off for another patient, she is one of neurology specialists here.” 

Tia’s hand tensed around Scott’s as her face fell. 

“I still can’t feel my legs.” She whispered. 

“What do you mean Honey?” Dean asked. 

Tia ignored him, watching the doctor with a sudden fear in her eyes, “But I got feeling back, there was a rock shift and I could-- why can’t I feel them?”

Hampton held his hand up, “Miss Anwar it is important you try to stay calm.”

“Tia,” Lucy murmured, “Hear the doctor out, just take a breath.”

“What did you do?” Haley snapped with a glare at her, “When you moved her, you did something didn’t you?”

“Mrs Anwar, please.” The doctor frowned, “Let me finish.”

“No, if this is their fault--”

“Mom.” Tia muttered, her hand pulling out of Scott’s to rub at her face, “Shut up.”

“There is a large amount of bruising around your lower spine Tia,” Hampton continued when she looked back to him, “There was some damage to a number of your vertebrae which Doctor Griffiths has repaired. However, at this stage it’s impossible to tell if there is permanent nerve damage or not.”

“You’re saying she is paralysed?” Dean snapped, “What caused it? Could it have been prevented?” 

“Dad!” Tia snapped her glare turning on both of her parents, “This isn’t anyone's fault. IR saved me, so stop looking to blame them!”

“Tee,” Haley shook her head, “This could change your life.”

“I know.” Tia snapped again, “What happened today has probably changed a hundred people’s lives. But I’m one of the lucky ones, I’m alive because…” She trailed off looking back to Scott with wide eyes, “Shit. Scott, your cufflinks. I had them, I was in the elevator coming after you--”

“It’s okay.” 

Scott looked up at his Mom’s comment as she patted herself down, before feeling in the pocket of her cardigan, “We found them in your pocket on Two.”

He saw Tia relax in relief as he took the two metal planes from his mother. 

He didn’t need to voice the thought of what might have happened if he hadn't forgotten them in his rush. Elevators were a safe spot in most buildings, middle floors very much were not. 

“They saved me.” Tia smiled, “You saved me.” 

The scoff from Haley filled the room and Scott was grateful for knowing the backstory. Her parents would be hurting, undoubtedly fearful that just maybe they could have lost their remaining daughter. 

Tia glared across at them. 

Hampton cleared his throat, “I believe it may be a good time to leave Tia to rest. You can all visit her in the morning.”

Scott grimaced at the doctor's words, knowing that there would be no arguing with the quiet demand. 

Her hand tense around his again, eyes darting towards him. He could see the question there, the silent plea not to be left even as her parents leant over her to kiss her forehead. 

They were waiting though, standing in the doorway, waiting for him to leave first. 

He stood, leaning over to kiss her hair, brushing her cheek with his free hand as he did.

“Come back.” She whispered whilst he was still close, “Once they’re gone.”

He smiled and nodded, “Only if the doctor says I can.”

Her eyes were already drifting as she relaxed into the pillow, “He will, you’re a Tracy.”

Grinning, he pulled back, “Sleep well Tia.”

[14buddy22]

A Lot Could Happen

What happens when Aaron Hotchner is forced to go into protective custody with Jack but without his daughter... Well, a lot.

WC:  4066

Aaron Hotchner x Daughter Reader

Part 2: Worth It

“Witness Protection? Dad, what? I can’t just leave my husband.”

You stood in the kitchen arguing with your father. You were a lot like him. Of course what he was telling you scared you, shocked you, and made you angry. Everything that you felt, you knew your dad was feeling.

He said, “You’re not coming, I did a good job keeping you out of the face of the public. But Jack, he’s in the file about Foyet, they know him. I can’t lose your brother. I lost Haley and I promised her I’d watch over your brother. Just like I promised your mom that I’d protect you before she took her last breath in that car accident.”

You had looked over to the last picture you ever had with your mom. It was a picture from Disney when you were 4. She died a week later. You looked back up at your father and knew he was upset. The tears in his eyes definitely weren’t helping.

“I don’t have a say in this. Peter doesn’t know you’re mine. I’ve kept you far enough off of the radar where you can stay.”

After your dad said the name Peter, everything clicked. You knew about George Foyet, the Reaper. You knew about Peter Lewis because you just remember your dad coming home from work - sweaty, bloody, a cut on his face. You were sitting on the couch with him while he cried. Yes, Aaron Hotchner cried. He cried where his family was. You and Jack were all he had left. His first wife - dead. Haley, well, she was dead, too. With him looking at you, he knows that you know who it already is. But he knew you were going to ask anyway.

“Peter? As in Mr. Scratch?”

“Peter Lewis showed up to Jack’s soccer game. We’re already going to witness protection, I just wanted to come and tell you before Uncle Dave told you. I know this isn’t going to be easy for you, honey.”

“Easy? Dad, you’re my best friend. I’m literally married, wanting to start a family and I still hang out with you every chance I get.”

He whispered, “I know. I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath as he wiped your tears.

“I know this isn’t what you expected. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more. I love you. Before I continue, I need you to know that. After what happened with Foyet, I don’t want another thing taken from me. Jack and I HAVE to enter protective custody. I don’t know where they’re taking us. I don’t know how long we'll be in WITSEC, but I know I didn’t give you the goodbye you deserve. You deserve more, Y/N Hotchner.”

“Dad.”

He just looked at you and the big bad FBI agent finally broke down. He was crying and you two just hugged.

It felt like time froze, yet it wasn’t frozen long enough.

“I love you. So much. Thanks for being the best Dad in the whole entire world.”

He kissed your cheek and said, “Thank you for being the best daughter in the world. I’ll see you soon.”

We let go of each other and you said, “Please come back safely. Jack and I both lost our moms, we can’t lose our dad.”

“Goodbye Y/N, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

You pulled up at the one place that used to bring you so much happiness when you were younger. But you’re 24 years old now. It had been 4 years without your Dad and it was the scariest 4 years without your Dad. You missed them dearly and that’s when you had to take matters into your own hand. You were going to find your Dad and if that meant coming to the BAU to see the progress they’ve made on Peter Lewis or even joining the Bureau, you were going to do whatever it takes.

You walked into the familiar unit and looked up to your Dad’s office. His placard still on the door. But while you did miss your dad, you couldn’t get sidetracked. You walked into Dave’s office

“Hi Uncle Dave. Any word on when I’ll get my Dad and my brother back?”

“Not sure. Is everything okay?”

“I’m lonely, Uncle Dave. It’s been almost 3 years without Brad and almost 4 without Dad. He’s missing so much.”  

Dave said, “I’m sorry kiddo. I know.”

After a few more months passed and the team showed up at Aaron’s safe house. Aaron answered the door and saw his team there. He said, “Guys?” Rossi said, “We got Peter Lewis, he’s Dead Hotch.”

Aaron let out a breath of relief. He was finally getting out of here. He was going to see his daughter. He loved Jack, he and Jack had become closer over the past 4 years, but his daughter, he was afraid how far apart that relationship had grown apart. It’s the part that scared him, everyday as he was sitting in protective custody.

Jack said, “Dad, we need to see Y/N and Aunt Jessica.”

“I’m going to take you to Aunt Jessica’s, okay?”

His phone buzzed and said, “Actually, Aunt Jess is going to come pick you up, okay?”

Jack said, “Okay. But when are we going to see Y/N? She needs to know we’re okay and she needs to know we have a little brother.”

Aaron thought to himself, “Right, a little brother. How do I explain that in those 4 years, I decided to add to our family. She really will never forgive me.”

Aaron said, “We’ll see her soon, I promise.” Aaron kissed Jack’s head and Jess picked him up.

She hugged Aaron and she said, “I’m so happy you both are back. Who’s this little guy?”

Aaron said, “This is my son Anthony.”

Jess looked at him and said, “Who’s the lucky one?”

He said, “Her name is Beth, she’s 5 months pregnant, she’s laying down right now.”

Jess said, “Oh.”

“We got married about a year and a half ago.”

She said, “Well, congratulations.”

Jack said, “Anthony likes my comic books.”

Jess said, “Speaking of comic books. I have a whole bunch that were delivered to my house when you were gone.”

He said, “Dad! Did you hear that?”

Aaron said, “I sure did buddy. Why don’t you get in the car, I just need to talk to Aunt Jess really quick.”

He said, “Alright. I love you Dad. Love you Anthony.” He kissed Anthony’s head and hugged Aaron.

He really just needed to find out how his daughter was. Praying she had a job, still had her apartment, was still married, didn’t get involved with drugs and partying.

Aaron said, “How’s my daughter?”

Jess said, “I haven’t talked to her much, do you know anything?”

Aaron said, “All Dave told me when he came to get Jack and I from the safe house is that I should go alone first.”

“We didn’t stay in touch much. I mean, I’m not her biological aunt and of course she knows that, she only stayed in touch because of Jack.”

“Her and I will have a conversation.”

Jess said, “Aaron, no, these past couple of years have been hard on her. You have to remember that and anyway, she’s been extremely busy with school.”

“I missed her graduation.”

“She took a year off, She graduates this year.”

“I put her behind in school.”

He remembered having late night discussions with you. You were trying to fight to go stay at Brad’s house and then it was talks of getting married. He had constantly brought up the point of you getting behind in school. You had always told him you never would. Oh how everything would change in the 4 years he was gone. And he wasn’t going to find out until he showed up at your doorstep.

“Aaron, just please go and see her.”

“Thank you Jess. I’ll pick up Jack later tonight.”

She nodded and she said, “I’m glad you’re back.” He hugged her and she got in the car.

Aaron walked inside and he said, “Hey, I gotta go.”

Beth said, “Aaron, where are you going?”

“My daughter’s house. She deserves to know I’m back. She should see me.”

Beth said, “What about our son?”

“Beth, Anthony is asleep. Y/N’s my first born. The one to make me a dad. I need to see her. Her and I have never gone without seeing each other for more than two weeks. We talked every day. I need to see my child. She needs to know that I’m okay and I need to know how she’s going to take that.”

You were cleaning up the kitchen, listening to children’s voices fill up the room. It made your heart swell at the sound. To hear that kids were getting along. It’s something you loved as a student teacher, when none of your students were arguing.

Someone knocked on your door and you went to open it.

“Dad?”

“It’s me. They caught Peter Lewis. He’s dead.”

He hugged me and I was crying. It had been 4 years, the toughest of your life and you had to go through it alone, without your dad. And here he is.

“Dad, You’ve missed so much. Where’s Jack?”

“Jack was seeing Jessica. Are you going to invite me in?”

“Yeah. Of course.” You closed the door.

“Are you starting your babysitting business back up?”

A little girl came around the corner and said, “Mama! Look at my drawing.”

Aaron’s eyes widened and you looked at Grace. Aaron looked at how much she looked just like you. His father instincts kicked in right away and he had to guess she was maybe 3 years old.

You knelt down and said, “Baby, will you give mommy a minute?”

She ran away and Hotch said, “What - Y/N/N.”

You said, “Brad and I have a daughter. She’ll be 3 on the 20th.”

“I have a granddaughter?”

You heard someone say, “BRAD! Give me it!”

He looked at you and you said, “But that’s not all. You have two grandsons.”

He looked and said, “What?”

“You have three grandchildren. They’re the best thing that’s happened to me. They’re triplets.”

“Where’s Brad?”

“Brad died 3 years ago.”

He looked at you and said, “I’m sorry. I would have come home sooner had I known.”

“It’s okay. Really, it’s okay.” He hugged me again and you noticed his wedding ring.

He said, “Y/N. She’s beautiful. Your little girl is just like you.”

You smiled and said, “Do you want to meet them? Then we can talk.”

“We have a lot to catch up on. No one told me. I never knew.”

“I tried to get Dave to tell me where you were but nobody knew.”

“Honey, I’m so sorry.” You started walking around the house and he was looking at the pictures. He saw drawings and then a picture of Brad with a halo drawn into a family picture with you and your three kids. You stood next to him and he looked down at you with teary eyes.

“I’m so proud of you” with his voice just barely above a whisper. If there was one thing Aaron Hotchner wasn’t, it was never quiet. But there were only a few moments he was left speechless… and those were Aaron Hotchner defining moments. He had a weakspot for family, in which Foyet and Lewis knew that.

His first defining moment was meeting his first wife; his high school sweetheart. Then marrying her, then of course watching his first child, a little girl, enter the world and just holding her, being her dad. But then, losing the first love of his life to a terrible car accident, all because of a drunk driver.

His second defining moment was meeting Haley; met her at a coffee shop. Raising an 8 year old who had just lost her mother over 4 years ago was hard. But Haley took his breath away. He got married, again, and then had his first baby boy. His life was complete - he had a daughter, a son, and a wife. Until his wife took his son and walked out on him and his daughter. And then Foyet, quite literally took Haley’s breath away. Her death and the way she died took Aaron’s breath away. He was yet again a single father, now a single father to a 14 year old and a 4 year old. How could the world do this to him?

His third moment that left him speechless and quiet, was when his daughter’s boyfriend had asked for his little girl’s hand in marriage. Then he realized his daughter was really grown up. The whole wedding, him giving her away to Brad, the father/daughter dance plus Jack.

Then, Peter Lewis shows up to Jack’s soccer game. Forcing him and Jack into WITSEC. Him having to say goodbye to his daughter.

Now here he is, standing in his daughter’s hallway, looking back on everything he missed out on for the past 4 years. His son-in-law dying and his three beautiful grandchildren being born.

You hugged him and he said, “I’ve missed you.”  

“I missed you too, Dad. Every. Damn. Day.” You wiped your tears and continued, “Would you like to meet your grandchildren?” He nodded. “They’re in their playroom. It’s the one thing Brad and I wanted when we built this house. To have a playroom and a wrap-around porch so we can watch the sunrise and sunset.”

We walked in and the kids said, “Mommy!” They ran to you and hugged your legs. You knelt down.

“Hi guys. Do you remember how I told you about your Daddy?”

AJ said, “He’s with the stars watching us.”

“That’s right. And I told you how I don’t know if I’d ever see my Daddy again?” He nodded.

Brad said, “Papa Aaron fights the bad guys.” Grace said, “He’s a superhero.”

Aaron was tearing up and you said, “Yeah, well, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

They all looked up at your Dad and you started to say, “This is-” when all of a sudden your kids all ran to his legs and said, “Papa Aaron!”

Your dad knelt down and that’s when you and your Dad both lost it. Yep, the dam broke. It’s as if you. All the past 4 years rushing to your mind; scared and worried your kids would never meet your superhero. They may have lost their Dad but they deserve to know their Papa.

Aaron was thinking the exact thing. Time flew by so quickly. Just yesterday he felt like he was holding his daughter in the hospital and now here he was, meeting his three perfect grandchildren.

The kids all hugged him and he then smiled.

Grace held his face and he kissed them all. Grace said, “Mama. Papa has dimples like me.”

The kids all started smiling. Aaron realized that this was what he missed out on for the past 4 years and he regretted it. You already knew what he was thinking and you’d yell at then when you got the kids down for a nap.

Aaron said, “You 3 don’t even know how much you mean to me.”

The kids started yawning and you put them down for a nap. You shut their bedroom doors and grabbed the monitor. You grabbed the laundry basket and walked to the family room where your dad was sitting. You sat next to him and started folding laundry.

He said, “So, tell me.”

You cut him off and said, “Nu-uh, You tell me, you’re wearing a wedding ring.”

“I met this woman, her name is Beth. She’s one of the best things that’s happened to me after your mom and Haley. But I want to know about my grandchildren.”

“Well AJ. It stands for Aaron jack.” Your dad’s eyes immediately got glossy again. You put your hand on his hand and squeezed it.

“I didn’t know when would be the next time I saw you so I wanted to keep your memory alive with my son.”

“What, what happened with Brad?”

That day would be ingrained in your memory forever, just like your mother’s death was ingrained in your father's. Seeing the flashing lights and hearing a knock on the door. You knew something was wrong. You were 4 months pregnant, he didn’t even know you were expecting triplets. It was something you were going to tell him that night. Thinking back to the knock on the door, you don’t really know what happened after hearing the words, “Are you the wife of ADA Brad Montgomery?”

You took a deep breath and said, “You know, he was a lawyer, he’d gotten threats all the time, but he was on the courthouse steps and he had just won over this big case, a case to move him forward in his career. Well, he got a guilty verdict and the gang members showed up and shot him twice.”

You had started crying again and your father grabbed you and held you. He thought he wasn't going to know what to do. He had been gone 4 years, surely you’d be mad at him. But you weren’t pushing him away. Instead, you were the exact opposite. He couldn’t have been any more wrong.

“I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have gone through that pain alone.”

“Uncle Dave told me. I. I never thought I could lose him. But, I did.”

You let go of your Dad and he wiped you tears.

“Tell me more about Beth. How’s Jack?”

“Beth can wait. Tell me more about my grandchildren.”

You grabbed a book of their baby pictures and showed him. You showed him videos and pictures on the phone and Aaron couldn’t help but go back to 22 years ago when you were just two years old, trying to talk to his friends at his high school graduation.

“Wow. They remind me so much of you.”

“I know mom died when I was young but I remember Mom always said we were twins.”

He pulled out a picture of the three kids and he whispered, “Can I-”

“Keep it, of course you can. So, Beth. I can’t believe you got married. And I wasn’t invited!”

You hit his shoulder and he put his grandkids in the wallet. He then showed you a picture.

“She's beautiful, Dad. When’s the baby due?”

“What?”

“Look, she’s showing, just barely but she’s showing in this picture.”

“Well, besides me getting married, I kinda had an oops moment.”

You knew what an oops moment was. You and your late husband had one. But you got three beautiful children out of one oops moment. And your father, from what you were hearing, he had at least two that you knew of. You don’t know if Jack counts as an oops moment because he had him later in life, but you never bothered to ask.

“You have another brother. His name’s Anthony.” He swiped the picture and it was a picture of Anthony and Dad.

“The little things he’d do, it would remind me of you.”

“How old’s Anthony?”

“He’s 8 months old.”

“And one on the way. Exciting.”

“I never thought I’d get married in WITSEC, never thought I’d have more children with another woman.”

You know your dad was starting to blame himself even though he had nothing to blame himself for. But even though you weren’t old enough when he blamed himself for falling in love with Haley, there was always the thought in your mind as you got older. And then when Haley died, he refused to look towards any women who you thought would be perfect for your dad. You, Jack, and your dad would be out to dinner and you would be trying to set your Dad up but he wouldn’t budge. You knew he felt guilty for marrying Beth, bringing another life into this world.

“I want you to come by the house tomorrow. Meet Beth, your brother, see Jack.”

“I think Uncle Dave is already planning a welcome back dinner. And on top of it, you get to go into the BAU again.”

When your father didn’t say anything, you knew what was going to come out of his mouth yet, and it wasn’t something you were ready for. Ever since you were born, putting away bad guys was always your Dad’s job. It had always been apart of your lives.

“About that. Beth wants me to retire.”

“Dad, you-you love the BAU. You always have. You can’t just retire.”

“I can’t lose Jack, I have Beth, Anthony, and the new baby to protect.”

You were a little hurt he didn’t mention you or his three grandchildren. Yes, you weren’t around him in the past 4 years but you shouldn’t be any less important to him. When you looked back up at him, what you didn’t notice was that he took a break to pause because he was going to cry again.

He whispered, “Most importantly I have you and three beautiful grandkids to protect.”

“They’re my world, Dad. If you are sure about retiring, then I guess I can’t stop you.”

“Just think, I’ll be here all the time, I can help with the triplets.”

While you loved the thought of having your Dad help raise your triplets, you knew what he was saying wouldn’t be true. He still had Jack to take care of. He was going to have a one year old and a newborn on the way. Not to mention, he still had a wife who hadn’t seen him work in the B.A.U. And that’s what brought you to your next thing that you had to tell him.

“No, you won’t.”

He hesitated for a moment and he was caught off guard.

“What did you say?”

You stood up and said, “You heard what I said. You’re going to have a 1 year old AND a newborn baby. Not to mention you’re STILL a dad to Jack. You’re not going to have time.”

“I’m going to make time for you and your kids.”

“Dad, you have your family and I have mine. Yes, I wish you didn’t have to go into protective custody because I was scared. I was scared and alone sitting at Brad’s funeral. Yeah, I had the team there but I just wanted my Dad. I was scared to deliver my kids.”

“Had someone told me, I would’ve come back.”

“You’re going to have 3 kids and a wife to look after and take care of. YOUNG kids.”

Your Dad stood up and took a deep breath, “Y/N, listen to me. You’re my child, my first born, my baby. You will ALWAYS be my baby, no matter what. You’re the one who made me a dad. I’m sorry you had to go through most of your pregnancy and the birth alone. I really am. But, you’re my daughter and I will always be your dad. I know it’s been 3 years. I know. But, I want you to know I’m here for you. I am going to help as much as I can.”

You leaned into your father and just said, “I’m just scared Dad. I wish Brad was here. Some of the things they do, the face they make, they have an Aaron Hotchner Glare and then they have the Brad smile.”

You looked at a picture of your kids by Brad’s grave and said, “I wish he could’ve met them.”

He wiped your tears that you didn’t even know had fallen.

“You can relax now, don’t have the weight of the world on your shoulders, you’re too young for that.”

“I’m 24, dad.”

“Still too young.”

Here you and your dad were. Standing in the middle of your living room, taking everything in. Him being alive, him meeting his 2 year old grandchildren for the first time, seeing you for the first time in 4 years. It was taking you back to the day 4 years ago where you were standing in your kitchen. Arguing with your dad, too afraid to say goodbye. Nobody knew what would happen, there was a lot of uncertainty, but you both sure as hell knew one thing… A lot could happen in 4 years.

[scuttling]

Stay at Home DILF

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 5,863 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Insecure Hotch, Oral sex, Fingering, Unprotected sex, A little angsty by accident Summary: Aaron retires from the BAU when the new baby is born, but a year later the lack of structure, sleep, and time for himself means changes to his body he's not very proud of. When the thought of having another child is brought up, how will he and his wife work through his insecurities to make the perfectly imperfect, happy family? *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! “Honey, I have to get going—do you need me to drop Jack off at school, or are you good?” Professor Hotchner slides her foot into a flesh-toned pump, leaning against the kitchen table for support and stealing a grape from Jack’s fruit salad. He narrows his eyes, then sticks out his tongue, and she does the same. “Do you want me to starve, Jackrabbit?”

“You won’t starve. Get your own grapes.” So full of sass, that one. Seven is such a fun age. She decides to blame the mixture of Aaron’s genes and Haley’s, and she pulls out her phone to send Haley a quick text.

Your son is a menace in the morning.

Haley: Gets that from his dad.

Aaron enters the kitchen, holding their one year old daughter Mia, and he sticks her in her highchair, puts her breakfast in front of her, and leans toward his wife.

“I’m good, I’ll take him,” he says, and kisses her lips. “Mia and I will take big brother Jack to school, won’t we?” Mia is obsessed with Jack—her first word was Jack, or rather, Ack, which was super cute—so she giggles happily, and her mother can’t help but smile. Their little family is absolutely perfect.

She leans in for another kiss from Aaron, and then another, and then maybe one more...

“You’re getting distracted,” Jack says, and she looks over at him with a raised eyebrow, then back to Aaron. He shrugs.

“It was on one of his vocabulary sheets.” Figures.

“Well, maybe I find my boys distracting. Let me give you kisses and we’ll find out!” She launches herself at him, kissing his head and his cheeks, and he laughs, and she knows she’s going to be late for work, but she can’t pass up moments like these, she just can’t.

She gives him a hug and tells him to have a good day, then she kisses Mia, and then she puts her arms around Aaron’s neck and kisses him goodbye. Before she pulls away, something comes over her—the warmth of this perfect morning, the overwhelming love for both of their sassy, silly kids, or maybe the fact that they’ve been too busy for sex lately and she’s constantly horny for him—and she looks up at him and whispers, “we should have another baby.”

Aaron grins immediately.

“Yeah we should.” They kiss a few more times, quickly, smiling against each other's lips, and he pats her hip because he knows she has to go. “We’ll talk more later, but yes. I want to. I love you.” He takes her face in his hands and kisses her deeply, and she sighs, grabs her bags, and heads out the door. Work is work; as the youngest professor in the English department, her schedule is jam packed with classes, lectures, morning office hours, but despite all that, it seems that Aaron is having the more difficult day.

They both love that he was able to retire from the BAU early to be a stay at home dad when Mia was born—he does consult for them occasionally, but has no official title, doesn’t have to travel—and he’s amazing at it, but she knows her baby can be a handful even on a good day. The texts she’s been getting all morning only solidify that knowledge.

Aaron: FYI - Mia hates bananas this week.

Aaron: What do they put in this applesauce, crack? She’s tearing around here like a bat out of hell.

Aaron: Okay, she’s your child, I officially renounce her. I put on The White Album and she started crying.

Maybe she prefers Abbey Road?

Aaron: No. Unlike her mother, she has taste.

You wound me, Hotchner.

She works through lunch, grading papers on The Call of the Wild, but when Aaron’s name lights up the display on her phone, she puts her pen down and smiles, puts it on speaker.

She’s sorry she did, because Mia is wailing in the background, and it’s very clearly her, I’m exhausted, asshole, leave me alone, cry, which makes her wonder why she’s not taking a nap. She knows she resists Aaron sometimes, doesn’t want him to leave her alone in her room, which is so sweet and also so, so annoying.

“Hi, sweetheart. Are you having a little trouble over there?” He takes a deep breath and sighs.

“She won’t go down, baby, even if I sit in the rocking chair beside her. It’s been twenty minutes.” Wow. He put up with it longer than she would have.

“Put her in her crib with Stuffy Bear and just let her cry; I know you hate that, but she’ll give up eventually.” He groans softly.

“I can’t; I feel so bad.”

She smiles. Her warm-hearted man.

“She does this because she knows you’ll give in and do whatever she wants. I promise you, she’ll be happier for it; she sounds miserable.”

“I don’t know…” he says, and she can tell he’s not going to do it. She picks up her pen and skims the paper she abandoned.

“Are you tired?” She doesn't wait for an answer, because she knows he is: Jack had a bad dream last night and woke them both up, and Aaron went to lay with him until he fell asleep because he knew she had an early morning. It was almost time for her alarm when he made it back to bed. “If you want to try to nap, she’s going to have to nap. Do it for her, yourself, me, a combination of the three of us. She won’t be mad at you; she won’t even remember.”

“What if I give her abandonment issues?” he presses, and she closes her eyes for a moment.

“Aaron, I love you so much. You’re such a great dad, and our kids are lucky to have you. But you have to loosen the reins just a little, especially if… if we are going to have another baby.” The thought makes her smile, and she can tell he’s smiling down the line, too.

“Right. Loosen the reins. Just put her in her crib,” she can hear that he does that, “and give her Stuffy Bear, and let her cry.” He blows out a breath, and she can hear the door click shut behind him as he leaves her room. She’s proud of him, but she also knows he’s going to sit in front of the video monitor and watch to make sure she falls asleep, and that he’ll probably work on laundry after that and not actually take a nap of his own.

He insists he’s doing fine when she brings it up, but the way he sacks out like a corpse when they get into bed doesn’t exactly have her convinced.

“I love you, and miss you,” he says when it’s slightly quieter, though she can faintly hear the cries through the monitor. “It made me really happy this morning when you said we should have another baby. We make perfect babies, have you noticed?” She hides her grin behind her hand, because if anyone walked by her office they’d think she’s insane with how widely she’s smiling.

“I have noticed, but since we only have the one and I can’t take any credit for Jack, I figured we should probably make another. Maybe the same way we made Mia…” They’re both convinced it was a weekend when Jack was at Haley’s and the two of them went to town on each other, true marathon sex where they only stopped for food and water and she coaxed him to hardness so many times she felt like a damn sex goddess.

“Hmm. I remember that with fondness, and would love to do that again. You know Haley said she’d take Mia on one of Jack’s weekends if we ever needed her to.”

Her life is pretty damn perfect, with her gorgeous, caring husband, and her two awesome kiddos, and a job she loves, but the most unexpectedly sweet part is that Haley is so comfortable with her, and that she and Aaron were able to get past the ugliness of their divorce to eventually become friends again. It’s not something they take for granted.

“Maybe we should take her up on it this weekend,” she says, trying to sound a little sultry. “We’ve both been so busy; it’s been a while since you pet my kitty.” For some reason, this particular phrase makes Aaron blush and get insanely horny, and she’s hoping to tease him so much the rest of the week that their weekend is one neither of them ever forget, so she’s pulling out the big guns.

“It’s been far too long, and I’m sorry. I can’t wait, baby. I’ll call her here in a few; I know you have to get to your next lecture.” She looks down at her watch, and it is about time to clean up and head over. She sighs happily down the line.

“Okay, I love and miss you; try to take a power nap. I promise, she’ll be fine.”

“I will.” He won’t. “Talk to you soon.” When she gets home, Aaron has dinner ready; she told him to hold off, that she’d help when she got there, but he has always been an overachiever.

Mia is already in her high-chair, waiting patiently for once in her little life; she kisses her forehead, breathes in her sweet baby smell, and then makes her way to her husband.

“Looks good, honey,” she says as he sets the table, and she leans up for a kiss, but when she presses her hand to his stomach like she always does, he pulls back a little. “Is everything okay? Did you have a bad afternoon?”

“No, it wasn’t bad after the nap fiasco,” he responds, but he sounds distracted. Maybe he was asked to look at a case, or something, and that’s still on his mind? She leans against his shoulder, puts a hand on his back and attempts to push up his t-shirt, to skim her hand up along his spine, which always comforts him, but again, he shifts away from her touch. She sighs and steps back.

“You're going to give me a complex, Aaron. If I did something to upset you, please tell me so I can apologize and try to make it better.” He turns to look at her face, and his formerly tense jaw softens a little; he presses his lips to hers, just a peck.

“No, you didn’t do anything. I’m just a little tired, that’s all.” He smiles softly, and she’s sure he is tired, but this seems like something more.

“You’d tell me if something else was bothering you, right? You know I’m here for you.”

“Of course I would, and of course I do. I love you,” he breathes against her mouth, and then he goes in for a longer kiss and she gets, as Jack said earlier, a little distracted. When the kiss breaks, she sighs happily.

“I love you. Missed those lips,” she murmurs, and then she runs a hand over his hair. “If the kids wake up again tonight, I’ll get them. You need to rest.” He shakes his head.

“You have another full day tomorrow,” he counters, and it’s so sweet that he keeps up with the schedule she has posted on the fridge, but still. She puts her hand on her hip.

“And you don’t? It’s my turn. Let me help.” He looks like he wants to argue, but she gives him the glare he knows means she will talk about this all night if he doesn’t agree; she’s not the sponsor of the university’s debate team for nothing, and even his prosecutorial ways have nothing on her.

“Okay,” he sighs, and she smiles and kisses him and then goes to get Jack and make sure he’s cleaned up for dinner.

That night when the two of them are getting ready for bed, she’s surprised as hell when he stops her from pulling one of his t-shirts—her typical sleepwear—over her head. She sets it down, arches her brow, and he guides her back onto the bed with a grin and puts his hands on her hips.

“What’s happening right now?” she asks, because before Mia, sure, Aaron would treat her to all manner of orgasm-inducing behavior at random, and she would do the same, but since Mia—especially in the last six months or so—their sexual encounters have been few and far between. It’s no one’s fault, and they’re both very clearly still attracted to each other; it’s just one of those things that falls by the wayside when you have a new baby and a hectic life and you don’t get enough sleep.

Needless to say, she is a little confused by this turn of events.

“I’m attempting to worship my gorgeous fucking wife,” he murmurs, and he leans up and kisses her stomach, licks a long line up from her belly button. Her breath hitches. “Gonna put another little baby in here—but it’s always beautiful.” He slowly moves his lips higher, over her ribcage, and holds her there. “You’re perfect, you know?”

“Aaron.” Her fingers come up to sweep through his hair; her heart aches with love and tenderness. He moves up, presses open-mouthed kisses to each of her breasts, then covers them with his hands and squeezes. She’s a panting, dripping mess, and more than anything she wants to strip him naked, pull him closer, get him inside her.

“I love you just as you are; I want you just as you are. Always have, always will.” He smooths his hands up over her throat, and brings her mouth to his for a deep, soulful kiss. She hadn’t even realized she’s been feeling repressed, but his touch tonight makes her feel so beautiful and special… It's incredible how close she is from only that.

“Make love to me,” she whispers, and he kisses her again, but then he slides back down her body.

“Want to taste you,” he says instead, and he gets his hands on her hips again and his mouth on her pussy, looks up at her while he licks and sucks like he’s gone without for ages—which he has, she figures, but it’s blowing her mind, her fingers scratching at the sheets, her neck arched. He massages her hips as his tongue works, as he grinds against the bed, and she comes with a whimper, because her body is so overwhelmed by how good she feels that she can’t even properly vocalize it.

Aaron comes up, just a little, rests his head on her stomach, and she smooths her hands over his hair and his shoulders, since that’s all she can reach.

“Come up and let me touch you—or you can come inside me.” She will happily take either option, but he just kisses her belly and shakes his head.

“No, I’m good. Just really tired.” She frowns, can’t recall a time in her life when they didn’t both get off during sex; he catches her expression and runs his hands up her body. “Really, I’m okay. I just wanted to do that before I passed out.” He smiles, and she doesn’t like it, but he climbs off of her and goes to the bathroom, and she pulls on the t-shirt and crawls into bed. Two days later, she’s sitting in her office grading tests when she hears a knock at the door. She looks up, and it’s Aaron, of course, looking so gorgeous in a black polo and jeans.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Where’s Mia?” she asks with a smile. He leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

“She’s with her Aunt Penelope for a few hours.”

“Why? Is everything okay?” Penelope is at work, she knows, because she texted her earlier about something unrelated and she’d mentioned that she and Spencer were having coffee and that he said hello.

“Everything‘s fine,” he assures her, and he enters the room fully, closes the door behind him… and locks it. “Can’t your husband come visit you during your super secret not-really-office-hours?” She raises an eyebrow, both at his question and the fact that he locked the door. What exactly is he planning to do, she wonders?

“You can, but you don’t. I guess I’m just surprised.”

“Well today I decided to. I missed you so much.” He walks around her desk and leans over her for a couple of kisses. “Have you missed me?” She rolls her eyes, smiles.

“Of course I missed you. I miss you every second I’m away from you.” She reaches out, wants to hug him, pull him closer, but he takes a step back and crooks his finger, encouraging her to follow him.

He’s being really weird, but he’s also being really hot. She decides to play along.

She stands, walks over to him, and he carefully clears a spot on her desk, knows she has a system and doesn’t like a mess; when she’s within reach, he puts his hands on her waist and lifts her up onto it, her ass where a stack of tests had just been. Fuck.

“I want to get this dress off of you,” he says, voice low, and he takes her face in his hands and kisses her, rough and deep. “Can I take it off, baby? Can I make you come?”

Everything is happening so fast her head is spinning—it’s not like him to just show up at her office, to try to have sex with her there, especially when their dry spell has been, up until recently, like the damn Sahara.

He must sense her confusion, her apprehension, because he kisses slowly along the side of her throat, down the v-neck of her dress, making her eyelids flutter.

“The door’s locked, and no one even knows we’re in here. Can I take it off?” She pants, thinks about this for a second, but then he slides a hand over her thigh, pushing her skirt up, and she gets a little distracted. She nods, and he kisses her hard and unties the sash of her wrap dress, pushes it off her shoulders. She’s glad she wore a matching set of bra and panties, because this is like prime fantasy material and she wants to try to remember every detail.

He kisses her mouth, soft and sweet, then tugs the straps of her bra down her shoulders, pulls the cups down so her breasts fall out of them. She moans, a little startled, and he dips his head to mouth at her nipples, rests one hand on her lower back and one on her stomach—probably because she looks like she’s about to slide off the desk and onto the floor like a blob of jelly. She knows that’s how she feels.

When he’s gotten her thoroughly worked up, almost trembling with the need for more, he pushes her panties aside and presses a finger into her, and she whimpers, wraps her hand around his neck for support when he starts to pump it deeply inside.

“What has gotten into you?” she breathes, and her hips chase the pleasure he brings; the hand on her back moves to her ass, squeezes it.

“I love you and I want you. I want to make you happy, I want you to feel good.”

“Me—me too,” she gasps as he moves faster, staring right into his eyes. “I love you, want you. Want to make you happy, feel good.” She cards her fingers through his hair and stretches for a desperate, eager kiss. “I want you so badly, baby, please.”

“I’m right here. You have me,” he murmurs, but that’s not what she means and he has to know it. Just in case he doesn’t, though, she makes herself loud and clear; relationships are all about communication, after all.

“I want you to put your cock in my pussy, I want you to come in me. I want you to fucking ruin me, Aaron, I want you to shove your dick in me and keep shoving.” She sounds unhinged, but she can’t stop.

He adds a second finger—not what she wants—and roughly gropes her breast—it feels so good, but it’s not what she wants. Why won’t he give her what she wants?

“Shh, just come on my hand, it’s okay. I’ll fuck you later, in our bed, baby,” he promises. “Just come now, okay? Right here, right now for me.”

She does, because even if he’s being unnecessarily aggravating, it’s still Aaron. She’s desperate for him, always has been, always will be. She comes loud and high and she clutches him tightly and he kisses her and coos words of love and affection into her ear. She gets cleaned up, and they go for lunch, and they can’t take their eyes off each other.

Something’s very wrong, and she can’t quite put her finger on it.

That evening when she gets home, Aaron is feeling guilty. She’s not sure why, but he’s executing all of his patented guilty trademark behaviors: he offers her a glass of wine, runs her a bath, rubs her feet, even though he’s been the one home with the baby all day. She’s tempted to ask if he’s cheating on her, as a joke, but that’s never funny, especially when she knows he’s being shifty and weird about something.

When they’re laying in bed, he sets down his book and looks over at her.

“I meant to tell you, Haley isn’t able to take Mia tomorrow. Maybe the weekend after, we can have our special alone time.” She won’t say she’s not disappointed, but she doesn’t want to inconvenience Haley, when she’s already being so great. She smiles softly, covers his hand with hers.

“That’s okay. It was short notice, anyway. I’ll still enjoy my weekend, with you and Mia.” He smiles too, but it doesn’t quite touch his eyes.

The kids sleep through the night, but she doesn’t. On Friday, she picks Jack up from school and takes him to Haley’s, who sends him to wash up so she can make him a snack. When he’s gone, she smiles warmly and invites her into the kitchen for coffee; she takes a cup, and they make pleasant small talk like they always do.

“Are you sure you don’t want to bring Mia over?” Haley asks after a few minutes. It sounds like she’s double checking. “It’s really no trouble.” She frowns, sets her cup down.

“I thought you weren’t able to watch Mia this weekend. I thought… I thought that’s what Aaron said. I must have misunderstood him.” That’s the only logical conclusion, because Aaron wouldn’t lie to her. He wouldn’t.

“He was being a little weird on the phone the other day. He asked me if I would watch her, and I said yes. He told me about your plans,” she says with raised eyebrows, “and then I told him, you know. That he better treat you right, because you just had a baby not that long ago and you might be a little self-conscious about jumping back into the sack like that; not that you should be, because you look amazing.” She racks her brain for the first time he started acting strangely, pulling away from her, and it would have been after his conversation with Haley. She asks, just to confirm.

“Is that when he got weird?”

“Actually yeah. He changed his mind, said you might not need me to watch her after all, but I told him the offer stood. He was pretty quick to get off the phone after that.” She would sip her coffee, but she’s pretty sure her hands are shaking. Why would he lie about that?

“You know, I should go. I’m sure Aaron’s pulling his hair out with her, she’s been a devil today. Tell Jack I love him and I’ll talk to him tonight, will you?”

“Of course. If you change your mind about Mia, just let me know,” Haley says, and she gets into her car with tears stinging her eyes.

When she gets home, Aaron is playing with Mia on the living room floor. He looks up at her with a smile that abruptly falls when he takes in her facial expression.

“What’s wrong?” She composes herself, takes a deep breath. They vowed a long time ago not to argue in front of Jack or Mia. She tries to sound conversational.

“You lied to me. You said Haley couldn’t take Mia this weekend.” He swallows and looks properly guilty. She’s not sure how he was able to lie to her in the first place; he’s never been any good at it.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I just didn’t know how to say it.” She looks up, shakes her head, wills her eyes not to water while she’s trying to have this conversation.

“You didn’t know how to say what? What is it that’s made you distance yourself from me?” She recalls him physically pulling away, then doing a complete 180 and initiating sex, but never penetrative sex, never letting her touch him or return the favor in any way. “Haley told me about your conversation. So do you think I’m unhappy with my body, or are you unhappy with my body?” He has the nerve to look confused, gets Mia set up with some toys she can play with safely on her own and stands up, comes close to her. She’s not sure she even wants his touch right now, which is saying something; when she’s unhappy, that’s usually all she wants.

“Neither of those things. I swear to god. I love you and I love your body; you’re so beautiful. Too beautiful for me, you always have been.” He’s looking down at her so seriously, and she wants so badly to believe him, but how could she, when faced with the evidence?

“Okay. If it’s neither of those things…” Her voice is small when she says the one option that hurts her most. “Did you change your mind? Do you not want to have another baby with me?” He sighs, deflates, and she takes a deep, shuddering breath.

“No, listen to me. It’s not that I don’t want that; I want that more than anything, but it will… further complicate, things...” He trails off, and she tries to follow what he’s saying. “The problem isn’t you in any way. It’s me.” She huffs, squeezes her eyes briefly shut.

“You? How can it be you, when you’ve been the only man to catch my eye for years? From the moment you set foot on my campus looking for your bad guy, I’ve been attracted to you, aroused by you, wrapped around your finger. You’re so perfect for me: perfect husband, perfect dad, perfect lover. My best friend. Never a day has gone by where I haven’t wanted you.” He wets his lips, sighs.

“Surely you’ve noticed that since I quit my job and started staying home with Mia, I… I don’t look the same. I’ve… let myself go.” His brows are deeply furrowed, and he’s clearly struggling with this; she reaches for him, no longer angry—at least for the time being—puts a hand on his arm.

“I’ve noticed that you don’t quite look the same. Doesn’t mean you’ve ‘let yourself go,’ or that I’m not still attracted to you; you just have a dad bod now instead of an ‘FBI guy who punches people for a living’ bod.” Her other hand hovers, then comes to rest on his stomach, and she smiles. “I’m actually really into the way you look now. I’ve been fantasizing about it for ages. I wish I’d known you were feeling self-conscious.”

“I’m not used to feeling… self-conscious, vulnerable,” he breathes, but he presses into her touch, so she considers that a good thing. “I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“I get that baby, I do, but this is me. I would have done anything I could to make you feel better. You didn’t have to hide it from me. You didn’t have to lie. We could have talked about it.” She moves the hand on his arm to his face, guides him down for a loving kiss. “We’re equally to blame, because I know you haven’t been getting good sleep, and I know you barely have time for yourself, and I didn’t step in; but you never let me help. If roles were reversed, and it was me staying home with Mia, you would never expect me to do all the cooking and cleaning and homework and bath time without your help. So you need to let me help, Aaron, please.” She looks up at him, eyes warm and sincere, and he nods, bends to press a kiss to her lips.

“I’m sorry. I still don’t feel great about… myself, but maybe I could. If I let you help. If I took some time for me.” She nods and wraps her arms around him—finally—for a hug.

“I love you so much. Just like this. Big, cuddly papa bear, taking care of our babies, making our home a safe and happy place for them. How could I not love the body that brings me so much happiness? That makes me excited to get in my car and come home at the end of every day?”

They kiss some more, deep, healing kisses and soft, sweet kisses, but she doesn’t get distracted by them. She’s very focused, caresses him and brushes loving fingertips over his chest and arms and sides. But speaking of distractions…

“Were you doing all those sexy things to try to distract me from wanting you to get all up on me?” she asks, pulling back, and at least he has the decency to flush.

“Kind of? I figured if it was sex you wanted, you’d be happy to get off however it happened; it was great for me too, don’t get me wrong, I just didn’t really want to be touched, feeling the way I felt.” She frowns, rests her head against his chest and holds him tighter.

“That makes me sad. What I wanted was an intimate moment with my husband, and while yes, what you did for me was great, because you’re super hot and very capable,” she says, leaning back in his embrace with a soft smile, “it’s not what I’ve been wanting. I want you all naked and sweaty and heavy on top of me, going to pound town.” He presses his lips together and raises his eyebrows.

“Pound town? What are you, twelve?” She grins, shoves his chest, and he laughs.

“I’m surrounded by college kids all day, please forgive me. I think it got my message across though.” She touches his cheek, looks up into his eyes, and sighs. “Can we take Mia over to Haley’s and give it a shot? I’ll do anything to make you feel happy and comfortable, any position that makes you feel better—though what I’d really like most, if you’ll trust me, is to suck your dick, and then hop on your dick, and then later when we’re ready to go again, we do the pound town thing and make another goddamn baby.”

She’s so serious, and he looks so serious, and then he kisses her and says yes and they pack up their kid and take her to his ex-wife’s so they can get it on, which sounds so much crazier than it actually is. She gets him out of his clothes, doesn’t move slow or spend lots of time focusing on what he thinks are flaws; instead, she proves how desirable he is by practically tearing his pants off and pushing him against the bed and swallowing around his dick just so she can hear all those delicious moans she’s been missing.

After that, she rides him hard, kisses him harder, plants her hands on his chest and stomach and moans and groans against his mouth. “So fucking hot, seriously so fucking hot, Aaron—if I saw you across the room today I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing, I would still pursue you, I’d make you blush like I did back then. I’d be so forward because I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about how good this would feel.”

She’s rocking his world, no doubt about that; it’s written all over his face, in the hardness of his hands on her hips as she grinds down on his cock, in the way his chest is heaving despite not actually doing any of the work at all. He comes first, and then rubs her clit while she continues to fuck him until she finds her own orgasm; she scratches her nails down his stomach, and he leans up and grabs her face for a rough, perfect kiss.

They take a break, cuddling and kissing and enjoying the feel of bare skin, comfy bed, soft lips. Aaron touches her cheek, tells her how much he loves and appreciates her.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been keeping this inside, and not being truthful. It’s hard, when you’re as perfect as the day I met you, and I’m…” She presses a finger to his lips, shushes him, kisses him.

“You’re as perfect as the day I met you, too. More perfect, even, because every day since then you’ve chosen me, and our family. I could not ask for a better man. Simply could not, Aaron. And if you want me to come home early so you can go to the park to run, or to the gym, then that’s what I'll do, but if you look like you do right now, forever, I’ll be happy with that too. Whatever makes you happy.”

They snuggle and kiss and talk and laugh, and then laughing becomes sex in that way everything becomes sex when you’re genuinely obsessed with the person in your bed.

He gets her on her back, kisses all over, teases her—“mmm, rubbing your kitty, baby, how does it feel?”—and then puts her legs over his shoulders, plants his hands, and fucks, taking every ounce of his pent-up frustration out on her, and it’s incredible.

“Yes, Aaron, yes, baby, oh, god.” Her head is thrown back, and she’s torn between laughing, because she’s been wanting this for months and it’s exactly as awesome as she’d dreamed it would be, and crying, because she fucking loves him, so much it puts a lump in her throat.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans, speeds up, sweaty and gorgeous and smiling. “You’re going to come with me—not just for me, but with me, so my come gets deep inside, so it works and we get another perfect baby who never lets us fucking sleep.” She nods frantically, presses her hips against his, and it’s not simultaneous, but it’s a near damn thing, when they both come groaning each other’s names. A little less than a year later, they have Mason. Aaron is at home in his dad bod, Mia doesn’t cry at naptime, Jack is still a menace in the mornings, and their perfect little family got a little more perfect. Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul

[boldlyvoid]

when is breakable heaven 5 coming out?

not sure, it's taking a while to write but here is a little excerpt

Breakable Heaven Masterlist

When the sun comes through the window and lands directly on her closed eyelids, she knows she fucked up. 

She sits up in a panic, making Spencer startle in his sleep under her. They fully passed out together after having sex in the back of his car and now it was morning. 

“Oh shit,” she starts looking for her clothes, realizing they’re still outside the car… on the lawn by the lake… 

She wraps the blanket around herself, leaving Spencer naked in the back seat, half asleep, so she can run out and get their clothes. “Fuck, fuck,” she scolds herself, picking up the dew covered clothes. They were basically soaking wet, she wasn’t going to be able to get back into her jeans easily, it was uncomfortable and damp, making her feel even worse. 

“I’m sorry,” Spencer comes out with a blanket wrapped around himself too, “I’m so sorry, I was just going to let you sleep on me for a few minutes and then I passed out too.” 

“It’s not your fault,” she explains as she slips back into her shirt. “I’m just anxious, it’s not your fault.” 

“I can still feel bad,” he picks up his things and starts getting dressed too. 

She takes a deep breath before things get ugly, she’s seen her parents, well her dad and Haley, fight about dumb things and not talk for days. Thats no where near where she wants to take her future relationships. 

“I had a good time, though,” she reminds him with a sweet smile. “I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah?” He looks her up and down, studying her. 

“Absolutely,” she steps into his space and wraps her arms around him, he holds her waist and brings her in so they’re chest to chest. 

“I have to bring you home before you’re never allowed outside again,” he teases. “But I’m not ready to stop holding you yet.” 

“We’ll have to plan something,” she can’t stop staring at his lips while he talks. “I’ll tell them I’m going to Jasmin’s new apartment and we can spend the whole day in bed together.” 

“The whole day?” He’s intrigued. “What would the itinerary be? 

“Cuddles, breakfast in bed, sex, cuddles, lunch, more sex,” she can’t help but smirk. “Definitely a lot of sex.” 

“I’m sorry about last night,” he apologizes through a smirk, not wanting to get fixated on sex, especially when he didn’t want to have it last night.

“It’s okay,” she smiles, “I still had a wonderful time, clearly,” she gestures to what just happened, and he was still half naked. “and I understand and respect your choice completely. I wouldn’t want to lose my virginity in my moms car either.” 

“I want to make it special when we do go all the way, for both of us,” he clarifies that last part, staring deep into her matching honey brown eyes. “From the stories you’ve told me, that guy was a dickhead and a half for knowing it was your first time and not doing a single thing to pleasure you.” 

“They do say first the worst, second the best,” she remember that saying from her mom. “By they I mean my mom. If I lost a game she said that, and once we won and I was sad we won, actually.” 

“Really?” He thinks thats so cute of her. “Why?” 

“I felt that sadness before, so my mom encouraged me to go shake all their hands a second time and invite them to pizza with our team,” she remembers it fondly. “My mom was always so cool like that.” 

“She sounds amazing,” he agrees, flashing her a sad smile and pulling her in for a tight hug. “Can I meet her some day?” 

“She died, Spence?” She knows he literally cant forget the things she tells him, so why would he forget that? 

“I know,” he pulls away with a serious look on his face, he brings his hands up to cup hers. “But is she buried somewhere here or do you have her ashes? I can still meet her where she lays.” 

Chills cover her body, tears well in her eyes as she nods, “y-yeah, um, I can take you to her sometime. Um, my grandparents have her ashes in Virginia Beach, they live there now.” 

He wipes her tears and presses a sweet kiss to her nose and then to her lips, “she’s watching over you, and I’d like to let her know I’m on her side, I’m never going to hurt you.” 

Her heart stops then. She freezes. 

If this were a movie you’d hear the record scratch as the video comes to a screening halt. The narrator comes on screen she takes out a sun chair and a bag of popcorn and looks at the audience, “you see this part?” She points at the screen. “This is the part where she falls in love with him.” 

“I mean it,” Spencer continues. “Even if this is just for fun and you don’t really want to date me later, the last thing on my mind is hurting you.” 

“O-okay,” she nods lightly, blinking a few times as she snaps back into it. “I uh, I think I should get back home now…” 

“Yeah,” he breaks away from her. “Let me just get my pants back on,” he can’t help but laugh. 

[glowingspence]

18 and 70 - sick reid? With Hotch or Morgan? Congrats!!!

TW/CW: Self-harm, nightmares, hallucinations, fever, crying

“Aaron” Spencer speaks in a small voice as he walks into Hotch’s office at their shared home and Hotch had heard his tone of voice often enough to know that something is seriously wrong,

“What’s wrong?” Worried he gets up from his chair and walks towards him.

“I don’t know.” He whimpers and let’s Hotch guide him over to the living room but hisses when Hotch touches him, “Don’t do that”

“You’re warm.” Hotch states worried before despite Spencer’s wishes touching his forehead, “You are burning up, let me get the thermometer” To Spencer’s relief Hotch’s burning hands let go from his face and he closes his eyes in relief. The lights in the living room are hurting his eyes and even when he has them closed, he wishes he could have it darker.

He whimpers again when Hotch touches his face to get access to his ears “It’s okay, you are okay” The older man assures him while Spencer’s fights him weakly, not wanting the cold feeling in his ear, it runs down his neck and shoulder and it feels wrong, it feels so wrong, “Honey, Spencer, I need you to take a deep breath and then to stay still okay? I have to check your temperature.”

“No”

“I know” Hotch waits for a moment until he seems to have catched himself before he tries again, “You are okay, it’s almost over.” Even without the confirmation, Hotch had been sure he must have a fever by the way he is sweating and it makes sense when he thinks about how overstimulated he was yesterday and how he screamed when Derek touched him and how he kept on insisting that it’s to loud on the jet and to bright on the outside and eventually calmed down ones he got to bed. “I am going to wake up Derek now okay?”

Spencer nods and anxiously grabs the blanket that had been placed on the sofa, “It’s just a cold okay? It will be over before you know it.”

“Fever”

“We will get you something to cool down okay? You are not in any danger.”

“I am”

“I promise you, you are not.” Hotch gives him a reassuring smile, “Tell me why you think you are in danger?”

“Fever makes- fever makes- fever makes me- fever makes me- fever makes my brain messy.”

“How far?” Hotch questions, he knows fever dreams from Jack and Haley would be out of the light with the smallest temperature.

“I hate germs.”

“I know, but my question was how far does the fever make your brain messy?” He tries again,

“Nightmares” Spencer explains, “And when it gets bad, I tend to hallucinate” He whispers, “Gideon said it’s only normal with a brain like mine. And with-with my anxiety.” Hotch looks down on him while he coughs, “I am scared I will.”

“We are here okay? And we caught the fever, maybe we can keep it down. I will wake Derek to get to the pharmacy alright?”

“Thank you”

“There is no need to thank me, you just stay here.” By the time Derek gets downstairs, Spencer is already asleep again, “Take Jack with you and drop him off at Dave’s. The last thing Spencer needs is him running around.”

“I will” Worried Derek looks at Spencer, “Get a cold washcloth on his head or something, he is sweating like a pig.”

“He just fell asleep.”

“And by the looks of it, he still will be asleep after you put it on.''Sceptical Hotch follows his demands, lowering the cold cloth carefully onto Spencer’s forehead who doesn’t react at all and just keeps on sleeping. Even when Jack comes downstairs and says goodbye to his dad he does not stir one bit, “Keep him calm, don’t tell him if his fever gets up” Derek instructs him with Jack on his arm before giving him a kiss, “And you old man, take a deep breath, he is just sick.”

“I know”

“Daddy is always dramatic when someone is sick.” Jack tells Derek who starts laughing.

“Who told you that?”

“Aunt Emily.” Hotch rolls his eyes at that, “Of course she did.” He leans closer to his son and kisses him on his forehead, “Be good for uncle Dave okay?”

“I will”

“I know, I love you” He assures him before the two leave the house. While Spencer is more hesitant about taking responsibility for Jack, Derek from the beginning couldn’t be giving enough of it from Hotch. Hotch is at this point sure that if he would try to intervene in any way, he would break Derek’s heart badly enough for a breakup.

Spencer stays asleep for quite some time, while Hotch works from the dining room, having the perfect view onto him and Hotch has to give Jack some credit because everytime Spencer whines in his sleep he shoots up in his seat to check if everything is okay, “Hey you”

“Warm” Panicking Spencer starts to get out of his shirt, “Can’t breath” Hotch reaches over and helps him get out of his long sleeve, leaving the T-shirt on,

“In through your mouth, angel. You just have a stuffy nose.” Luckily Spencer catches on what is happening quickly and Hotch is able to keep him calm, “Good job, here, drink this, you will feel better.”

With shaking hands, Spencer takes the glass with lemonade from Hotch. “Thank you”

“Of course, can I touch you?” Hesitant Spencer nods but then pulls away when Hotch actually does, “Can I place the washcloth in your neck?”

“Please” Hotch starts reading his book out for him but it is pretty clear that this is too slow for Spencer so he is relieved when Derek steps through the door.

“Let’s get some medicine into you and then you into bed, this can’t be comfortable.” Derek tells him as he shows him what he got. “You can watch some doctor who upstairs until the medicine helps.”

“Cold” Spencer complains as Hotch pulls the blanket away who reaches for his sweater in return but that also doesn’t seem to be right,

“Someone is cranky when sick.” Derek jokes and ruffles through Spencer’s hair, “Come on, I will carry you, deal?”

“I can walk” Determine Spencer pushes the blanket aside and gets up from the couch only to sit down a few feet later because he started to feel like he would faint.

“Come here” Patiently Hotch picks up his legs, “eyes on Derek, you will feel better in a few seconds, you just got up too fast.”

“And you sure as hell will drink more of that lemonade once you get upstairs.” Derek scolds him as he reaches for his hand, “Eyes on me, stay with me, pretty boy.”

“I am with you”

“You better” Derek keeps on talking to him until they are sure it’s safe to stand up again and this time he gives Hotch the chance to help him upstairs.

“Sit up or lay down?”

“Sit up, please.”

“Of course.” Hotch gets some pillows propped up behind him in the middle of the bed. If you would ask Jack about what the best thing in this house is, he would most definitely say that it is the huge bed. Especially because he will sneak in it too at night and no matter who is awake, he will get cuddles. “Drink this up please.”

“Medicine”

“One second.” Derek tells him while reading the prescription,

“Drink this first” Hotch reminds him and ignores the way Spencer rolls his eyes, “I am guessing right that you want to watch doctor who?”

“Yes”

“Alright” It doesn’t take long until he falls asleep again while Derek works on a plan for a new house project next to him while Hotch is back in his office but he is definitely not in a calm sleep. He is turning and sweating and talking in his sleep and even if Derek regularly tries to keep him cold, he is burning up more and more and his temperature doesn’t seem to fall. “Wake him up” Hotch eventually decides, “He needs to take his medication and something to eat.”

“He will be in a hell of a mood.” Derek mumbles before trying to wake him but everything they get are slurred words that demand to keep him sleeping so they keep him awake long enough to take his medicine before allowing him to fall back asleep, “Now we know why he is so afraid of germs, he didn’t even seem to recognize up.”

“He always dreams intensive, the fever probably doesn’t make it better.” Hotch calms him and grabs a towel to wrap around his ankles, “I will make him some food for when he wakes up.”

“Thank you, I will keep an eye on him.” Derek tries to keep him calm but he seems to be way into his dreams to take notice of anything so when he wakes up fully it doesn't surprise them that he is more dazed than actually aware of what is going on, “First shower, then dinner.” Derek tells Hotch and both men help him to get into the bathroom where Spencer is more than displeased with the fact that they are manhandling him into the cold water.

“Why?” He asks when Hotch presses his legs under the water, “I am so cold”

“I know, you will feel better afterwards, trust me.” Hotch promises him before pressing him more under the water, “Relax”

“No, stop touching me.”

“Pretty boy, you gotta sit here for a few minutes and you're gonna wash your hair and everything, there is no need to yell at us.”

“I am not a child, let me out.” He complains before Hotch grips his arms again,

“Spencer you are sick, we gotta cool your body down and we will just wash your hair real quick. You do that every evening so it doesn’t get greasy. We are just doing this to help you okay?” Anxious Spencer nods, “Alright, is it okay if I wash your hair?”

“Yes” By the time he is dressed in new clothes, he already feels a lot better, eats his dinner and seems content with laying in bed with Hotch in Derek, watching some news and afterwards a movie with Jack while Derek goes jogging and Hotch cleans up downstairs for a while.

“Papa Spence is asleep.” Jack whispers when Hotch walks inside.

“He is still sick, so he needs a lot of sleep to feel better.” Hotch explains and grabs his son from the bed, “So you need to sleep in your bed tonight, okay?”

“Why?”

“Because Spencer gets bad dreams when he gets sick and then it’s better if there are not so many people around okay?”

“But you will be with him, right?”

“Of course, Derek will too.” He promises and carries him out of the room, “Unless you want to have one of us sleeping in your room?”

“No, I am okay.”

“How is he?” Derek asks when he gets back.

“He is asleep. I just brought Jack to bed, maybe you can catch him to say goodnight.”

“I will” Derek assures him but gets distracted from Spencer whining in his sleep, “Baby wake up” He whispers unsure if touching him would help, “It’s okay its just a dream, you are okay”

“Derek”

“I am here, you are okay” He assures him, “Try opening your eyes, baby.”

“Derek”

“I am here, it’s okay.” Derek decides to touch him and eventually his breathing slows again while Derek holds him in his arms but doesn’t dare moving away from how he is laying underneath his touch, faced pressed against his chest,

“Everything okay?” Hotch frowns at him when he walks in and Derek is still dressed in his work out clothes,

“Yeah he seemed to have a nightmare.”

“You can go take a shower, I’ve got this.” Hotch promises him and lays down next to Spencer who slightly snores due his stuffy nose and every now and then coughs in his sleep. When Derek comes back, he lays down on the other side and the two men don’t make it through long of a movie before they fall asleep too.

Hotch is the first to wake up a few hours later as Spencer turns in his sleep over and over again. His hair is sticking to his face and he can see the sweat soaking through his shirt as he rubs his back over the mattress, muffled noises leaving his mouth.

“Derek” Hotch whispers as he gets up to get another cloth, “Derek wake up”

“I am up” The man mumbles and quickly after fully awakes when he sees the distress Spencer is in, “He is scratching himself”

“He is probably dreaming.” Hotch holds the washcloth down on Spencer’s forehead who tries turning his head away, “Get the thermometer”

“It’s rising”

“Alright, get another towel.”

“Maybe do something against the scratching first.” Derek snaps out of worry before he runs off to get the towel Hotch asked for,

“It is probably connected to the fever, if we get the fever down he will stop himself.” Hotch tries calming him, even though his heart breaks on the inside too, Derek carries it more to the outside what he feels. “It’s okay, everything is okay.” Hotch speaks to Spencer who is still moving, scratching his arms and body,

“He is scratching himself bloody, how long has this been going on?”

“I am not sure.” To their surprise, Spencers wimpern turns into shouts shortly after,

“Get it off me! Get it off me! Morgan get them off me:” He yells while still scratching his chest, “Derek, please, please,” He sobs.

“I am here, wake up.” Derek steps closer placing a hand on his thigh, “I am here Spencer, wake up. Wake up.”

“Get them off me, get them off me.”

“It’s just a dream, it’s okay.” Hesitant Hotch takes the towel off him but the screams continue until Derek eventually grabs Spencer’s wrists, “Wake up, wake up, Spencer.”

“Get them off me.”

“No scratching anymore, I can’t let you do that.” Derek keeps on holding his wrists while Spencer tries fighting him and even when he opens his eyes he doesn’t seem to understand what is going on around him, “It’s just me, It’s okay.” Derek tries soothing him as he sobs underneath him, his screams sounding painfully exhausting for his already weak body, “You are okay, you are safe, I’ve got you.”

“Papa?” Jack’s voice appears behind him, “Why are you hurting Spencer?”

“Jack, you are supposed to be in bed.” Hotch gets off the bed and walks towards his son, “It’s okay, come on.”

“Spencer there is nothing on you, I promise you.” Derek keeps on soothing him, “Whatever you are seeing is not real, I promise you.” He lets go of him with one hand and rubs his hand across his stomach, “Nothing there, just my hand okay? You are safe.”

“What is wrong with Papa Spence?”

“He has a really high fever so his brain is making up a lot of nonsense.” Hotch explains to him as he walks him down the stairs to the living room.

“What nonsense?”

“We don’t really know.”

“Is he scared?”

“He is, that’s why Derek is with him, he wasn’t hurting him.” Anxious Jack leans against his father as they sit down on the couch, “Do you want me to call aunt Jess to pick you up?”

“No”

“No one would be mad.”

“I am not scared.” Jack promises him, “When is Spencer going to be okay again?”

“I am pretty sure that in the morning the worst is over.”

“Should we make him soup?”

“Why soup?”

“Jess always cooks soup when I am sick.” Jack explains.

“That’s a really great idea but Spencer hates soup, remember?”

“Then we should cut him fruit.” He suggests, “He doesn’t like that either.” He adds quickly and leans back against Hotch’s shoulder, “Can I go cuddle Papa Spencer?”

“When he calmed down we can all cuddle together alright?”

“I am so sorry” Derek sniffs as he looks down on Spencer, “I don’t know what to do, baby.”

“Get them off me.”

“I checked okay? There is nothing on you” With strength he keeps on holding him down, “I understand that you are scared but I checked your skin okay? I promise you there is nothing there.”

“Get them off me.”

“I am sorry.” Derek places his head down on Spencer’s chest, capturing his hands underneath him as he holds them, “It’s going to be okay.”

“I am scared”

“I know, I am here, I’ve got you”

(Prompt list)

[fanficbitch]

In Another Life // Route 66

Aaron Hotchner x y/n

August 2013

Things at the house have been a little chaotic this morning. Aaron’s alarm didn’t go off, but he naturally wakes up early so that got us going. We’re currently all in the kitchen, Aaron making us cups of coffee, Jack making breakfast and me stuffing Jack’s lunchbox with whatever I can find.

“It’s just too late,” Aaron mumbles under his breath. “Honey, can you take Jack to school? I figure if one of us is late it’s better if it’s you.”

“Yeah, make me look bad in front of the team,” I say as I shove Jack’s lunch in his backpack.

“I don’t think the boss will be too mad,” he says.

“Good thing I’m sleeping with him,” I smirk at him. Aaron shoots me a smirk back. “But yes, I will take Jack.”

“Okay. I love you. I’ll see you at work,” he says and goes in for a kiss but misses mouth and grazes about a third of lips.

“See you at work,” I say then usher Jack out of the house.

“Mama?” Jack asks once we get into the car.

“Yes buddy?”

“Will you and Dad be home for dinner?” he asks and my heart breaks a little.

“Uh, I don’t know bud. We might have a case,” I say as I look back in my rearview mirror. Jack lets out a little huff then turns towards the window. 

“There is always a case,” he murmurs. I’m a little caught off guard because Jack usually understands that Aaron and I have to go on these trips. He has been used to Aaron doing it his whole life. 

“Jack, is there something you want to talk about?” I ask carefully.

“Dad promised he would come to my play last night and he didn’t come,” Jack says.

“But Jess and I came!” I point out.

“But Dad didn’t.”

“Dad just has to work harder than the rest of our team because he’s the boss,” I say. “But Daddy comes to lots of your things. He’s your soccer coach!”

“You guys are just gone a lot,” he whispers.

“I know we are and I’m sorry,” I say, but Jack remains quiet. “You just need to know that your Dad and I love you more than anything.”

My words get me a small smile from Jack. “Even more than ice cream?”

“Yes, baby even more than ice cream,” I say as we pull up at his school.

“Okay, I love you too,” Jack says.

“Have fun at school!” I yell as he hops out of the car. 

I begin my drive to the BAU. I kinda figured this problem might come up someday, but not this early. Jack deserves more. He deserves parents that are there for him. I don’t blame Aaron at all. He’s doing his best. But sometimes, a kid just needs their dad.

As I pull up to my building there is an ambulance leaving. I park my car and leave with my cup of coffee my boyfriend prepared. To my surprise, I find JJ, Morgan and Reid standing at the entrance. “What’s going on?” I ask as I approach them. They all have terrified looks on their face. “Oh no, who is hurt?” I ask because I just assume.

JJ stares at me but doesn’t say anything. “JJ, what is going on?” I ask, but she can’t say anything.

“It’s Hotch,” Morgan finally says.

“W-What are you talking about?” I get out.

Morgan takes both my arms, holding me up straight. “He passed out during the briefing.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, not fully understanding what is going on.

“Hotch is on his way to the hospital in that ambulance. Rossi went with him,” Morgan says and I nearly collapse. Morgan’s grip on me keeps me standing.

“What happened?” I ask urgently.

“We don’t know,” Morgan says. “Let me drive you to the hospital.”

I move the next few hours in a trance. Morgan drops me off at the hospital and they tell me that Aaron is suffering from internal bleeding. Probably from his battle with Foyet. 

Morgan is forced to leave me, but I rock back and forth in my chair in the waiting room. I can’t possibly sit still when there is so much at risk. Aaron is my everything, even his dependents are my everything.

Rossi sits next to me with his hand on my back. “Y/N,” he says softly. “I need to get to the case.”

I continue to rock despite the words. “Are you going to be okay?” Rossi asks, but I continue rocking. “Y/N?” he gets out.

I finally snap out of my rocking fit and sit still. “Yes, I hear you,” I tell him.

“Are you going to be okay?” he asks again.

“I’ll be okay enough,” I say. Rossi gives me an unsure expression. “It’s fine, Rossi, you can go.”

“I don’t want to leave you here alone,” he whispers.

“I’m okay,” I tell him. “I promise.”

Rossi squeezes my hand then let’s go to leave. I don’t blame him. There is a job to be done. A job that I should be working on. But there is no way I can work on it like this. 

After a few hours, I go up to a nurse and ask where Aaron Hotchner is. “He’s in room 402,” the nurse finally says. 

I go up the few floors to get to his room. When I get to him, my heart lifts. I was expecting Aaron to be dead, but according to his heart monitor he is still very much alive. 

I sit down in a chair next to his bed and hold my breath. What am I going to do? With Jack? With this baby? I can’t do any of this without Aaron. I scoot the chair closer to his bed so I can hold his hand. “Hey honey,” I whisper with a laugh. “It feels ridiculous talking to you like this, but I have to. You have to fight. You have to stay alive for Jack and for our baby. Please Aaron,” I beg as I hold his hand to my head. 

I wish for everything in my body to go to making Aaron better again. I know better than to trust prayers, but I feel like it is worth a shot.

I whisper and plead silently as I hold his hand. Before long, Aaron opens his eyes. It takes him a moment to adjust, but he realizes where he is. “What happened?” he asks.

“Well, you had an internal bleed from your fight with Foyet,” I say.

“After all this time?” he asks.

“Yes, after all this time,” I confirm.

He sits silently for a moment, adjusting in his bed. “How are you?” Aaron finally asks.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say quickly and wipe the tears from my eyes.

“Yes, it does,” he says. “How are you?”

“I-I’m fine,” I stutter. He looks at me a long time before responding. 

“No you’re not,” he whispers.

“How do you know?” I ask.

“Because I know you,” he tells me. “And I know you can’t hide secrets.”

I let out a chuckle. “You know me too well,” I smile at him. “I’m just worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” he says without really knowing anything. “At least, I feel fine.”

“Well, I’m going to have the doctors check you to be sure,” I tell him.

“Where is Jack?”

“He’s at school. I didn’t want to bother him unless you were awake,” I say.

“Well bother him,” Aaron retorts back. I get out my phone and text Jess all the news, good and bad. 

“I promise you, he will be coming when he can,” I tell Aaron. He smiles at me and I feel whole again.

“C’mere,” he whispers. I do the best I can to sit on the edge of his bed. There is no way you could fit me and Aaron in a twin bed right now. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too,” I whisper back. “Just please don’t try and die on me again.”

“I’m not trying too,” he reassures me. “But…” he says and trails off.

“But what?” I ask.

“I had a dream,” Aaron says.

“What kind of dream?” I ask.

“Haley was there, and so was Foyet. We were watching a movie of my life and you were in it,” Aaron says slowly. “Haley told me to stay with you because you were good for me and Jack.”

I sit silently and hold Aaron’s hand. “What else happened?”

“She was bleeding, but I couldn’t stop it. But then it was suddenly gone and I couldn’t control it,” he says.

“What happened next?” I ask.

“She was gone,” Aaron says. I can tell that he is longing for Haley. I can’t really blame him.

“Do you want to talk about it more?” I ask.

“No, no,” he reassures me.

“Because it’s okay if you do. I’d be more than happy to talk about Haley,” I say as I lean against his leg.

“No, it’s okay,” he says slowly. “She just told me that I should be happy with you and that you’re good for Jack.”

Those words make my heart warm. “That means a lot,” I tell him. “There is something I want to talk to you about though,” I say and he crinkles his eyebrows together. “I think after I have the baby I’m going to take some time away from the BAU.”

“Why?” Aaron asks quietly.

“Well, Jack and I were talking this morning and he was upset because we are always gone-,”

“Jack understands that we have to travel for work,” Aaron says, interrupting me.

“I thought so too, but then today he was so sad and says we are gone a lot, which is true,” I say. “I just don’t want Jack to grow up and look back on his childhood and think we were never there for him. I understand that you can’t leave work, but I’m not as needed as you are.”

“But the team needs you,” Aaron says.

“I think Jack and this baby need me more. I want to focus on being a mom for a little bit. Then I’ll get back to chasing bad guys.”

Aaron smiles and squeezes my hand. “I think that is very noble of you. I’m glad our kids have such a great mom.”

The door to the room swings open to reveal Jack and Jess carrying a bouquet of balloons. “Dad!” Jack shouts and jumps onto the bed. I immediately want to tell him to be careful with Aaron, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. “Are you okay?”

“I am now,” Aaron says as he hugs Jack with arm and his other hand finds mine and gives it a squeeze.

Jack turns to me. “Will you be home for dinner tonight now?” Jack asks. Aaron has a confused expression on his face.

“Dad might have to stay here for a few days,” I say and Jack’s expression saddens. “But, we could all eat in here.”

“Yes please!” Jack shouts.

“Sounds like a plan,” I tell him.

[winterscaptain]

mom.

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: shoutout to aimz for affirming this version of this fic!! i had an image the other day and had to sit down and write it. thank you for your patience as i took a little break this week. 

words: 1.2k warnings: none!

summary: “mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heartthrob.” — leroy brownlow

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

Before you leave the room, you hear Jack call out for you in a small voice. 

“Yeah, bug?” You turn, leaning on the door jamb.

“Can you come back here a minute?” 

You nod and cross the room, kneeling at his bedside. “What’s going on buddy?”

He looks nervous, but you wait him out. He spends a few moments shuffling in bed, wringing his hands, generally looking a lot like his father, but then asks, “Can I call you Mom?”

There’s nothing but static in your brain. 

Recovering quickly so he doesn’t feel rejected, you grab his hands and kiss them. “Can I talk to your dad about it? I want to make sure he’s okay with it.”

Jack nods, but to your relief, doesn’t look disappointed. “Yeah.” 

With a kiss to the top of his head, you tell him you love him. 

+++

As soon as Jack’s asleep, you try to settle into bed, but the photo of Haley on Aaron’s dresser just stares you down and eats you alive. You shake your head and strip, jumping into the shower before it's even warm. 

+++

When Aaron steps into the apartment, it’s quiet and dark, save for the sound of the shower and the sliver of light arcing into the living room from the master bedroom. 

He drops his briefcase at the door and loosens his tie on his way across the room and down the hall. 

Pausing when he gets to the door, he listens. 

Is that….are you?

Crying? 

He trots into the bathroom and finds you behind the glass shower door, curled into a ball under the water. He toes off his shoes and steps into the tub to crouch in front of you, still in his suit, unfazed by the water. “Sweetheart?”

“I can’t be her, Aaron. I’m not her. I’m not his mom I’m not -”

“Stop,” he says. “That’s enough.” He pauses, taking a breath. “Did Jack ask if he could call you mom tonight?” 

You nod and curl further into yourself. “I can’t be her.”

He gathers you into his arms, the shower still running, and says, “You don’t have to. He’s not asking you to be her. He’s asking you to be something you already are.”

You sniff and lean back, looking at him. “What?”

“Come on.” He stands and brings you with him, reaching past you to turn on the water. “Let’s dry you off and get into bed.”

+++

After hanging his suit to drip-dry, he finds you in the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. He closes all the doors, turns the lights off, and sits beside you, pulling you up to rest against the headboard. 

You’re both still wet and without clothes, but that doesn’t matter. 

“I just...I froze, Aaron. I didn’t know what to say but I didn't want to scare him so I told him I had to talk to you about it first.” 

He traces your arm with his finger as he talks, grounding you. “That’s okay. I told him you’d probably say something like that.” 

“What?” You lean back and your brow furrows. “You what?”

A little smile crosses his face. “You think we haven’t talked about it? Honey, he’s been asking me about how to ask you for weeks now.” 

That basically takes all the wind out of your sails. “Oh.” 

If you’re honest, you feel a little stupid. Jack’s not the kind of kid to just do things out of nowhere. He obsesses and second-guesses and asks his dad about everything, so the very idea that he asked you out of the blue is as ridiculous as it is out of character. 

To your surprise, Aaron laughs a little. “Don’t feel stupid. I thought it would be a nice surprise for you, but now I’m realizing I probably should have warned you.”

“That might’ve been nice.” 

You can feel his smile when he kisses your temple. “I know, but I wanted him to feel...I dunno. Confident?” He pauses. “But, that’s not the point.” 

You look at him, a little confused. 

“How do you feel about it? I would understand if you’re not comfortable or -”

“No. I’m…” You trail off, feeling a little bad for interrupting him without really knowing what you’re going to say. “I’m comfortable. I just…”

Your eyes wander to the photo of you and Jack and Haley again. She still smiles at you out of the frame, just as she always has. You shift your attention to the one beside it - the one of Haley and Aaron on their wedding day, the one you insisted he keep up after he made an attempt to put it somewhere else after you moved in. 

He breaks your attention with a tap on the back of your hand. “Do you want to talk to her?” 

“What?” 

+++

With a certain degree of amusing theatrics, he threw on a pair of pajama pants, snuck into Jack’s room, and stole the little candle they use to “talk” to Haley. 

When he returns, he lights it, hands you the picture of her from 1997 at the Space Needle he keeps in his wallet, and walks out. 

“Hi Hales.”  

+++

You’re asleep when he returns, the photo loose between your fingers and the candle long out. He watches you sleep for a minute before gingerly tucking you in and slipping the photo back into his wallet. 

+++

The next morning, he hears you and Jack on the couch, talking quietly, but not so much so he can’t hear from the hallway. 

“...I’d love nothing more, my love.” 

“Did you talk to Dad about it?” 

Aaron hears you hum and kiss what he thinks is the top of Jack’s head. “Yeah. I talked to your momma, too.” 

“Really?” 

“Really. You know how much she loves you, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

There’s never enough time for Aaron to really consider how lucky he is. He doesn’t just have a partner who loves his son. He has a partner who loves the mother of his son. 

A partner who understands the weight of “Mom” in the Hotchner house. 

He finally rounds the corner to find the pair of you curled together around a plate of fruit, watching cartoons one low volume. 

“Hi, Dad!” Jack says, grinning up at Aaron. “Mom and I are starting an old show called Tom and Jerry. Wanna watch?”

You suppress a smile as Aaron scoffs, “Old,” and sits beside you, tucking the both of you under his arm. 

You turn to press a kiss to the side of his chest. “I love you.” 

“I love you too...” He kisses the top of your head and says, just for your ears, “...best mom ever.” 

+++

tagging: @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @hotchsflower @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @jdougl-love @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @qvid-pro-qvo @mandylove1000 @jeor @roses-and-grasses @word-scribbless @bwbatta @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @joanofarkansass @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @ssahotchnerr @this-broken-band-girl @winqhster @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @the-falling-in-the-danger @crazyshannonigans @softbibxtch @iconicc @mangoberry43 @andreasworlsboring101 @mac99martin @itsalwaysb33nyou @baumarvel @kerrswriting @messyhairday-me @ssworldofsw @deagibs @crazyshannonigans @moonshinerbynight @jhiddles03 @teamhappyme @mendesmelodies @starsandasteroids @unicorn-bitch @ambicaos

[sequinsmile-x]

Happy birthday!! I’m in love with your writing, could you write prompt 18 from list 1 please xx

Thank you!! <3

And of course, friend!! I hope you enjoy this.

This prompt is "don't worry, I'll take care of you."

To send me a prompt, find the info here!

-x-

Keeper

Words: 1.9k

Warning: sickfic! mentions of throwing up, but nothing graphic

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut!

Aaron knows that he is in love with her. 

It felt ridiculous, obscene even, given that they’d only officially been dating for 10 weeks. It started with him offering to help her on her bad days, something he could understand better than the others. Their respective experiences with Foyet and Doyle as similar as they were different. Their monsters were real men, twisted into something insidious by memories and nightmares, both of them prone to waking in the middle of the night, the other always there to provide comfort, foreheads pressed together until breathing returned to normal. 

Aaron had always been attracted to Emily, something she had admitted had not been a one-way street after their first night together. Her bare skin pressed up against his, a wide smile on her face as she just kept kissing him as if she was trying to convince herself it was real. 

Aaron was trying to be a better boyfriend than he had been a husband in the last few years with Haley. So, on a rare weekend completely free from work, after a day spent entirely with his son, he leaves Jack in the care of Jessica so he could take Emily out on a date. A table booked at a French restaurant that she raved about, his thoughts almost entirely occupied by the way she’d teased him at work yesterday, whispers in his ear when it was just the two of them about the new underwear she’d bought for the occasion. 

They had spent a relatively rare night apart, Emily encouraging him to spend some time with Jack by himself, something she knew he treasured and was keen for him to preserve. She had left him with a kiss and a wink as they went separate ways in the parking lot at Quantico, her own plans of having take-out and an early night something she had spoken about all day. 

He hadn’t really heard from her all day, something that make anxiety spark in his gut. He’d had a quick text back when he asked if she was ok, something that helped dampen his concern. He knocks on the front door of her apartment, excitement at spending time alone with her simmering under his skin. A smile he could never seem to shake when he thought of her, of the fact she was his spreading over his face. 

His smile slips off his face the moment he lays eyes on her, her drawn face peeking through the gap in the door as she opens it. She was paler than usual, something he didn’t think was possible, and she looked exhausted. Her hair was thrown back into a low ponytail, loose strands sticking to her skin with sweat. She was in an old t-shirt of his and a pair of sleep shorts, an indication that she hadn’t changed out of her pyjamas at all.

“Em, are you ok?”

“Aaron?” She croaks out, her throat raw. “What are you doing here?”

“Our date, we have reservations remember,” he explains, opening his mouth to ask her if she was ok again, noting that she had avoided his question. 

“Fuck,” she says, sighing as she takes a step back from the door, opening it enough to let him in, “I’m so sorry honey, just give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready.” 

Aaron frowns at her, his hands on his hips as he looks her up and down. “Sweetheart, you’re clearly sick. We can re-arrange dinner.” 

“I’m fine,” she says, forcing a smile as she looks at him, “let me put some make-up on and I’ll be...” she drifts off, a look on her face that he had never seen before, and she covers her mouth, running off towards her bathroom at full speed. 

“Emily?” He exclaims as he follows after her, wincing in sympathy as he makes it to the bathroom only seconds after she has,  met with the sight of her crouched over the toilet, her knees against the tiles. There are empty Gatorade bottles strewn on the floor, and a half-empty glass of water on the kitchen counter. Sure signs that she’d likely been in here all day, alone and miserable in her illness. He thinks nothing of it, of his freshly dry cleaned suit, when he joins her, kneeling behind her as he rubs her back. “You’re ok, baby. You’re ok.” 

She groans as she pulls back from the toilet, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she pulls the flush, shifting so she was leaning against the wall.

“I think we may have to rearrange tonight,” She says, smiling sadly at him, “you should probably go.” 

His frown deepens, an incredulous look on his face as he shifts towards her, his hand on her forehead, something she bats away almost immediately. 

“If you think I’m leaving you here alone you’ve lost your mind,” he says firmly, “you don’t feel hot.” 

“It’s not the flu,” she says breathing out slowly, what he assumes is an attempt to settle her stomach, “it’s food poisoning,” her eyes meet his, and she scrunches her nose up, as if she was preparing to be reprimanded, “I got dinner from The Greek Wok last night.” 

Aaron can’t help the sigh that escapes him, his hand falling to her bare thigh which he then squeezes. It was a place she frequented, a local Chinese take-out a block from her place, and he had told her more than once that she should stop eating there. The one time he’d been there he’d seen a mouse in the kitchen. Emily had all but insisted that he was seeing things, saying she’d eaten there from the week she’d moved in, and had never had any issues.

Until last night. 

“Em.” 

“Can we save the lecture until after I’ve stopped throwing up everything I’ve ever eaten," she pleads, cutting over him before he could say anything, he nods in response and she smiles thankfully, “you really don’t have to stay. We have not been together long enough for you to see me like this.” 

“And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I left?” He says, getting onto his knees so he could lean over to the counter, grabbing a washcloth from the drawer he knew she kept them in and wetting it under the tap, turning back to her to run it over her pallid skin. “Garcia would never let me live it down if she found out I abandoned you on your bathroom floor.” 

She chuckles, a weak sound in comparison to her usual laugh, but it still makes his heart lurch anyway, words he had to keep forced down trapped in his chest. 

“Well we can’t have that,” she replies, groaning as she presses her hand to her stomach, “god I feel like shit.” 

“I’m not surprised, love,” he says sympathetically, disposing of the washcloth by turning to put it into the sink, “have you managed to keep anything down?” 

She shakes her head. “Not really,” she complains, leaning forward so her forehead was against his shoulder, “I hadn’t thrown up in well over two hours when you got here so I thought I was ok.” 

“I do have to ask,” he says, cupping the back of her head as he encourages her to look up at him, “what was your plan if we made it to the restaurant?” 

He doesn't ask why she didn’t tell him she was sick when she knew he was at home all day, that he would have been here with her in a second. He knows it’s not the time, a conversation they can have when her best friend isn’t the toilet. 

“Just eat something plain.” She says, a sheepish look in her eyes he knows would be paired with a flush to her cheeks if she had any colour to her at that moment.

He hums at her. “Good thing we weren’t planning on eating really rich food in a French restaurant then, isn’t it.” He quips, an eyebrow raised at her. 

She furrows her brows at him. “Don’t make fun of me, I’m sick.” 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he says, gathering her into his arms, his lips against her forehead as he held her, “do you think you can move to bed?” She shakes her head against him, desperation in the movement as she grips at his jacket a little tighter. “Ok, we’ll stay here then.” He kisses the top of her head again. “I’ll just call the restaurant and go grab you a couple of things, and then I’ll be right back.” 

He kisses her cheek before he breaks away from her, ignoring the protest in his knees as he stands up, grabbing the Gatorade bottles from the ground as he goes. He calls the restaurant to cancel the reservation and walks around her kitchen, desperate to find something he could give to her to make her feel better. He finds a can of ginger ale in her fridge and grabs it. When he’s back in her bedroom he grabs a pillow from her bed, slipping it under his arm, and the comforter too, determined to make her as comfortable as possible. 

He walks back into the ensuite to find her hunched over the toilet again, and he sighs. 

“Oh, Em.” He says, putting the things he was carrying down so he could kneel behind her again, grimacing on her behalf as she spits into the toilet. 

“God,” she exclaims, her voice shaky as she flushes again, pulling back to look at him, her eyes sheening with unshed tears, “I fucking hate this.”

“I know you do baby,” he says, gathering her into his arms, “don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” He presses his lips to the top of her head, “do you want to brush your teeth?”

“No point,” she grumbles, settling into his side, “I’ll never stop throwing up, it’s a waste of toothpaste.” He chuckles into her hairline and she looks over at the things he’d brought in with him, finally registering her comforter on the floor. “Is that my bedding?” 

“I thought just because you can’t move from in here doesn’t mean you can’t be comfortable.” He explains, reaching for the glass of water she’d clearly abandoned earlier and encouraging her to take a sip as he grabs the bedding, placing the pillow in his lap as he leans against the wall. “Come lay down for a bit.”

Emily smiles at him, laying so her head is in his lap, curling up against him. He lays the comforter over her, almost wrapping up in it entirely. They lapse into silence, their bodies pressed close together in the cool air of her bathroom.

“I’m sorry for ruining date night.” She whispers eventually, her hand reaching for one of his, linking their fingers together, “I was really looking forward to it.” 

“You have nothing to apologise for, we’ll just rearrange for when you’re better.” He says like it’s easy, like their schedules allowed for every Saturday evening off work,

“You’re too good to me, Agent Hotchner,” she says, yawning, his spare hand playing with her hair, his blunt fingernails against her scalp, lulling her to sleep. “A girl could get used to this.” 

Aaron can’t help but smile as he looks down at her, her eyes fluttering shut, her long lashes throwing patterns over her cheeks. 

“You better get used to it,” he says, her body relaxing against his as she succumbs to sleep, “because I’m not going anywhere.” 

-x-

Tag list:

@ssa-sparks, @lukeclvez, @lyds102, @glockleveledatyourcrotch, @hotchnissenthusiast, @danadeservesadrink, @ssamorganhotchner, @emilyprentissisgod, @notagentprentiss, @freesiasandfics, @emilyshotchniss, @thecharmingart, @paulitalblond, @hancydrewfan, @camille093, @whitecrossgirl, @moonlight-2-6, @rawr-jess, @florenceremingtonthethird, @jareauswife, @ms-black-a, @sneetchestoo, @aubreyprc, @zipzapboingg, @psychopath-at-heart, @criminalmindsgonewrong, @fionaloover, @kinqslcys

Join my tag list here!

[xanasaurusrex]

Dumbass - Richie Tozier

Pairing: College!Richie Tozier x Fem!College!Reader

Word Count: 4.1k (yeah I went overboard sorry)

Warnings: Swearing (like a lot), mentions to sex but no actual smut or anything, named best friend character, Richie Tozier (he’s a warning fight me), mentions of Bill and Eddie, mentions of the Derry curse, unedited, shitty ending, reader and Rich are kinda quick to crush on each other I think that’s a warning? Pennywise is kinda mentioned for a hot second, I think that’s it? Lmk if I missed anything please!

Summary: Y/N L/N is more than excited to finally be living on her own after having to share a room with her awful roommate for two years. But, of course, having her own apartment is not all it was cracked up to be. Mainly because her upstairs neighbor is the loudest person on the planet, and seems to be an insomniac, considering he walks around loudly all night. Finally, she’s sick of it. But… then she discovers that he’s a cute boy that also goes to her school… so maybe it’s not that bad.

Notes: Honestly the summary sucked but like… I don’t really care? Anyways, I got sudden inspiration at like eleven thirty and I’m about to start my period but I don’t have pads (tampons scare me) and I just needed some Richie to help me deal with all this. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

Key

Y/M/N - Your Mom’s Name (idk why I added this just… idk)

Y/H/T - Your Home Town

Y/H/S - Your Home State

❦❦❦

“So… are you sure don’t want me to leave you with some recipe cards? They’re very descriptive, and helped me a lot when I first moved out,”

Y/N looked over at her mother, sighing. “Mom, please. I’ve told you a thousand times, I’m going to be fine. Just… let me be, okay?” she chuckled.

She knew that her mother was having trouble gripping the fact that she was moving out of her and her old roommate Haley’s apartment now. As much as her and Haley liked each other, Y/N had really gotten sick of Haley bringing guys into the apartment and doing it anywhere they wanted. It was gross, and after her and Haley got into their big fight, they both knew that they couldn’t live together anymore.

Y/N wasn’t quite sure why it was just hitting her mom now. She’d been living with Haley for two years while doing her first few years of college, and she figured that she may as well experience living on her own.

Besides, it was getting hard to drown out Haley and whatever other guys’ noises while she was trying to study. She figured she may as well have friends outside of campus, too. The building she lived in now was just close enough to campus to be easy to get there, and just far away enough that she wouldn’t run into too many people she knew from classes.

“I know honey it’s just…” Y/M/N sighed. She walked over to Y/N and wrapped her arms around her daughter. “You’re my baby girl, and where you and Haley lived was closer to me and your dad, and now you’re farther and… I don’t know how to deal with that!”

Y/N chuckled. “Ma, I’m fifteen minutes farther than I was,” she reasoned with her mother. “If you really wanna come over, you can come over after my classes. Just not every day, okay?”

Y/M/N gave her a wide smile before beckoning her in for a hug again. “I love you so much baby,”

“I love you so much too Mama,”

“Alright, well… I’d better get going,” Y/M/N said with clear hesitation in her voice. As much as Y/N wanted to think that her mom trusted her in living on her own, she knew that she did not. Y/M/N trusted her in so many other fields, just not this one.

As Y/N waved goodbye to her mother through the window of her third floor apartment, she sighed in contentment. Alone at last.

❦❦❦

Turns out this apartment was not the amazing dream that Y/N thought it was.

It was around three o’clock in the afternoon, and Y/N was sitting down on the couch that her friends had helped her put in the apartment. After a long day of unpacking and hanging pictures and just doing a lot to help her new apartment look like home, she was tired, and wanting zero interruptions to the nap she was trying to take.

But naturally, the universe had other plans.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Y/N’s eyes snapped open, glaring at the ceiling above her. It had only been a few steps, and hopefully would continue to stay that way, but it still annoyed her.

She let out a huff, but closed her eyes and continued snuggling down with the blanket that she had pulled out of one of her boxes hastily, deciding that she would clean up the mess that tumbled out with it later, just wanting to get some shut-eye now.

Creeeaaaak.

Okay, what the hell.

A million thoughts of anger and annoyance were racing through Y/N’s head, but after a bit of consideration, she decided to hold off on the complaining. First of all, she wasn’t great with confrontation, and second of all, it was barely her first day here. She didn’t want to be causing drama and burning bridges just because she was sleep deprived. It wasn’t that person’s fault they were loud.

Well, maybe it was. Maybe they were just a jerk and wanted to annoy the new neighbor. But still. Y/N didn’t know that for sure, so she wasn’t going to assume it.

The person either lightened their steps or stopped walking, so Y/N figured that it would be okay to try and bundle up again and fall asleep.

Of course not.

Thump thump CREEEAAAAK.

What was that person doing?

Finally, Y/N was done.

She got up off the couch, angrily threw the blanket down, and began stomping around her own apartment (making sure to not actually stomp, obviously), and began unpacking all the things she needed to unpack. It was like a minefield and she hated that she had to step over boxes just to get into her own kitchen.

❦❦❦

After what seemed like hours, there had been no movement from the person upstairs, and seeing as it was ten thirty, Y/N figured that now, she may as well try to get some sleep.

Thankfully, the box with all her blankets and sheets and pillow cases had been unpacked, so making her bed was easy, and once she laid down, she revelled in the feeling of the new mattress that had been her father’s housewarming gift to her. It was soft and squishy and everything she’d dreamed it would be.

Now for the part that she’d been daydreaming about since she got here.

Sleep.

Thankfully, this time, Y/N got to sleep. She felt peaceful, and quiet, and if someone had looked at her right then (which would’ve been weird, but still), they would’ve seen a content look on her face.

But as the saying goes, nothing good lasts forever, because just a few hours into her peaceful sleep, it seemed as though her upstairs neighbor was hellbent on walking a mile in his one bedroom apartment.

Great.

Y/N tried everything. She put pillows on her bed, buried herself under every single one she had, piled some blankets on top, too, but nothing seemed to be working.

The person in the apartment directly above hers was the noisiest person on the planet, and she was getting sick of it really quick.

However, right as Y/N was getting up and preparing to go up there and knock on the door to complain, the footsteps stopped, and didn’t start up again.

Sighing in annoyance, Y/N pulled the covers over her head and fell asleep again, wanting nothing more than a good night’s sleep without the interruption of the sounds of sex, or someone with feet way too heavy or big for their body.

But, she was finally going to sleep, and as long as she didn’t go to class on two hours of sleep, she would be okay.

❦❦❦

“So… how’s your new apartment?”

Y/N sighed as she looked at her best friend, Cali. She was a chipper person, it didn’t matter what happened, it was still the best day ever in her eyes.

Y/N didn’t understand her best friend very well.

“I already know for a fact that my upstairs neighbor is a dick,” she groaned. “He was walking around all night, and he’s either stomping constantly or has really heavy fucking feet,”

The two were sat in a coffee house a few blocks away from campus, Cali sipping on a cup of tea, and Y/N downing her third cup of coffee.

Cali gave her a look. “C’mon Y/N/N. Have you even met them yet?”

Y/N shook her head. “I would meet this person, but my social anxiety is getting in the way and, oh yeah! I just moved in, I don’t know if I want everyone in the building thinking that I’m the bitch that complains about everything,”

“You do know that this complaint is valid, right? I know you don’t like talking to people, but no one in the building is going to think you’re a bitch for asking the person above you to keep it down,” she seemed to ponder for a second before adding, “Depending on how you ask. If you’re a bitch about it, they’re going to think you’re one. If you ask politely, they’ll think you’re a sleep-deprived college student,”

“I am a sleep-deprived college student!”

“So then just do it like that,”

Y/N watched as Cali giggled to herself, unable to stop her own laughter from escaping her mouth. She covered her face with her hands, silently hating her best friend.

“You suck sometimes, you know that?” Y/N asked her friend.

Cali continued laughing. “Why yes, best friend. Yes I do.”

❦❦❦

This was honestly getting ridiculous.

Three in the morning. It was three in the fucking morning! How could someone be awake at a time like this? Y/N figured maybe some people were, like the asshole upstairs, but it was incredibly annoying and frustrating that of all the upstairs neighbors she could’ve gotten, she had to get the stompy guy who was up at all hours of the night?

As time went on, Y/N felt herself slowly getting more and more insane. How in the fucking hell was this person going to be alive tomorrow? They woke up at like eight thirty, around the same time Y/N did, so how could they do this?

Y/N could barely do it, and she was trying to sleep!

Finally, it got to be too much. She had been sleep-deprived because of this person for too long, and her classes were just getting longer and longer due to her lack of sleep.

As Y/N got out of her apartment, trekked up the stairs, grumbling to herself about how she didn’t know who this person thought they were, clutching the blanket that she had brought with her (the apartment building was somehow always cold), wanting nothing more than just a simple good night’s sleep.

Finally, she arrived at the apartment. 4C. Directly above her apartment.

Tentatively, Y/N knocked on the door before she could talk herself out of it. She didn’t love confrontation, and knew that if she didn’t knock right at that moment she was never going to do it.

The time in between Y/N knocking on the door and the door opening seemed to be just about three years. One would think that if he had enough time to wander around his apartment at three in the morning, he’d get to the door in time.

Or maybe it was her nerves getting to her.

She felt dumb. Why was she so nervous about this? She’s yelled at people before; though in her defense, they were usually people that she knew, and she wasn’t worried about being the bitch who complained before her first week in her new apartment complex before the week was even over.

Still, it was dumb.

Whoever this idiot is, even if he is a dick, the worst thing that happens is Y/N is forced to move out.

This thought naturally caused her to panic a bit, but before she could fully dispel the thought, the door was opening, and Y/N was stuck like a deer in headlights staring at the slowly opening dark green door.

“Can I help you?”

Just her luck.

He’s hot.

“Uh…” Y/N stuttered. What was she going to say? She could barely think, she was too busy staring at every little detail on this guy.

He was tall, was mostly limbs, had curly brown hair that looked like it had been allowed to grow for a little while, and these big glasses that magnified his eyes in an almost comical way.

When Y/N met eyes with the beautiful stranger again, she realized that she had been standing there in silence, staring up at him for way too long, judging by the very confused look on his face.

“Uh, sorry,” she cleared her throat. “I haven’t been getting much sleep,”

Which brought her back to the exact reason she’d come up here at three in the morning.

“Speaking of which,” she started, her voice not really pulling off the sharp tone that she had intended to use. “Why the fuck are you up right now?”

Welp. That was unexpected

The pretty face scrunched up in confusion. “Why the fuck are you up right now? You came up here at three in the fucking morning to ask me why the fuck I’m up? I’m up because I can’t sleep!”

“Well I can’t sleep when you’re up here stomping all night and I have classes tomorrow!”

“I have classes tomorrow too!”

“Then fucking go to sleep!”

“I told you, I can’t!”

The two paused to catch their breath after shouting at each other. Y/N couldn’t help but think just how stupid this was. She knew that she was right in this scenario, but she hadn’t really started out the way she’d intended.

The entire walk up the flight of stairs it took to get here, Y/N had been practicing in her head what she was going to say.

She had imagined herself politely saying, “Please don’t think I’m trying to be a bitch, but I am a college student and have trouble getting to sleep anyways, and I’m not telling you to go to sleep, but please, consider the fact that I need sleep, so would you please consider wearing something that would make your footsteps lighter, or maybe just not stomp?”

Now that she thought about it, Y/N wasn’t so sure that that would have worked on this idiot anyways.

The stranger let out a breath, raking his hand (that Y/N’s eyes began subconsciously following) through his dark mop of hair (that Y/N also found quite attractive), and the next thing that came out of that stupidly attractive mouth was a slight chuckle.

The next thing Y/N knew, he was holding out a hand to her with a smile on his face. “I’m Richie. You?”

To say that Y/N was taken aback by this would be an understatement.

In all her years on this dumb planet, not once has she yelled at someone that way and it ended with them chuckling just about a minute later. It was just not the kind of thing that happened.

But then again, Y/N reminded herself, she didn’t usually yell at random strangers that she was about to give a noise complaint to.

“Uh… Y-Y/N,” she managed to stutter out, wondering what game he was trying to play.

He laughed. “Well hi, Y-Y/N,” he threw his head back and laughed louder. “You know, you just sounded a lot like a friend of mine.” he let out a sigh of sadness, as a look of confusion passed across his face, like he was trying to remember something. He quickly recomposed himself and clapped his hands together with a smile. “Anyways. Wanna come inside?”

Without really thinking about it, Y/N found herself nodding and following Richie back into his apartment.

The inside of the apartment was… messy, to say the least, but Y/N figured she couldn’t say much considering her apartment was still a whirlwind of boxes and random things that she owned that she wasn’t sure where they went.

All the furniture was mismatched, there were very few actual pictures on the walls, just posters of bands and movies that (Y/N assumed) he seemed to like. There were dishes everywhere, plastic and glass (though plastic mostly), and there was a record player tucked into the corner right next to the sliding glass door that entered out into the balcony that was (aside from the few furniture items he had out there) was identical to Y/N’s.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Richie said with a flair that made Y/N chuckle slightly. He suddenly became bashful, rubbing the nape of his neck as his cheeks pinked. “Sorry about the mess. I didn’t think I’d be having company at this hour,”

Y/N chuckled. “Yeah, I uh… didn’t think I’d be coming up here. My apartment is a mess anyways, haven’t had time to unpack anything with classes and all,”

A new kind of smile came onto Richie’s face. A kind of lopsided one that made Y/N’s heart flutter delightfully. “Ohhhhh. That’s why I haven’t seen you around here before,” he leaned against the ugly brown walls that all the apartments had. He cocked his head to the side and did a once over on Y/N, causing her cheeks to flush. “I thought I’d remember a pretty face like that,”

No one had ever been so forward with Y/N. Where she came from, the guys were all either fuckboys or the timid nerds that couldn’t wrack up the nerve to talk to anyone but their few friends.

At her high school, she hadn’t necessarily been overlooked, per se, she had a good amount of friends. She just wasn’t popular enough for the fuckboys to take an interest in her. She watched the forwardness from a distance, never got to experience it.

“Uh…” Y/N’s mouth and brain seemed to freeze up at the exact same time, preventing her from responding in any way shape or form.

She would have thought Richie would have faltered by now, but he seemed to keep up the confident exterior until he finally stood up, away from the wall and walked towards the fridge in his small kitchen. He opened it and took out two glass bottles that clinked together in his hand.

“Want a beer?”

***

Y/N had learned a lot about Richie in the three hours that they’d been sitting on his balcony, getting wasted off cheap beer and watching the dark sky turn brighter until they were eventually watching the sunrise.

She had learned that his real name was Richard, that he swore like a sailor, that he really liked to smoke, and that he was the cutest guy that Y/N had encountered in a very long time.

(Of course that part Richie hadn’t told her; Y/N had concluded that herself by silently staring at Richie, memorizing his features in the small amount of light that was coming from the sky at that very moment as he finished off the last beer in his fridge, sighing to himself)

Y/N felt odd. She hadn’t felt like this about a guy in a very long time, and felt dumb, too. She had always been told that this kind of attraction took a very long time to develop, that you had to be friends first and then eventually you would realize that your friend was super hot, and then cute, and then slowly find yourself imagining their lips against yours.

But Y/N had been imagining that all night, and she didn’t even know Richie’s last name.

As they continued to watch the sun rise in the distance, Richie glanced over at his new friend, wondering what she was thinking about.

Wondering if she was thinking the same thing he was.

(She was)

Richie turned back to the sun rise with a content smile on his face, one that mirrored Y/N’s, telling himself that he was going to chase after her. He knew that they had just met, but there was something about her that intrigued Richie, something about her that made him feel safe already.

There was just something about her that Richie couldn’t explain. Truthfully, he didn’t even really know what it was about her that drew him in so much.

But he was going to find out.

***

“So why did you come up here again?”

Richie was laid down on the floor of his apartment, Y/N on the couch next to where he was laying. It was nine in the morning, and neither of them had slept at all, still a bit drunk from the beer.

Y/N had decided that she wasn’t going to go into class today, a decision Richie had made much earlier that night, and after coming in from the balcony, the two had just been laying down in Richie’s apartment, silently, just enjoying each other’s company.

“I told you,” Y/N sighed. “You were being loud. You were stomping around here, and I was getting sick of it, because a girl needs her sleep, and I’ve been listening to you and ignoring it the entire week I’ve been here, and I decided that I was going to come up here and complain even if I seemed like a bitch,”

Richie let out a slightly drunken chuckle. “You kinda sound like a bitch right now,”

“Shut up!”

The two were silent for a few more minutes, listening to the sound of one of Richie’s neighbors arguing out on their balcony, the sound drifting in through the screen door that had been closed when Richie decided he needed fresh air, leaving the glass door open.

Richie let out a dramatic sigh. “So where are you from,”

“Y/H/T, Y/H/S,” Y/N said quietly, continuing to stare up at the popcorn ceiling. “You?”

“Derry, Maine,”

“Huh.” Y/N muttered. “Never heard of it.”

Richie snorted. “Of course you haven’t. The only time Derry’s ever been on the news for anything important is because someone in our town likes to take kids,”

“What?” Y/N exclaimed. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Richie nodded, with a grave and far-off look on his face. “One of my best friends lost his little brother to the sick bastard. Spent a whole year looking for him,”

“That’s… horrifying,”

“Yeah it is.”

The two stayed silent for another few minutes, the heaviness of the words hanging in the air as memories that had slipped Richie’s mind for the past year came back to him quickly, before fading slowly just as they had as he’d driven away from Derry the first time, wondering if he would call Eddie first just to tell him that he’d forgotten to call, or if he was going to wait a few days to amp up the tension before finally calling him, only for Eddie to berate him for waiting so long.

He wondered if anyone would miss him there.

“Sorry for waking you up with my big feet,” Richie apologized. “I get anxious at night. Don’t like the dark.”

“It’s okay,” Y/N said quietly. “If you ever get really scared you can come down to my apartment and I’ll leave the light on in the living room for you,”

Richie sat up and smiled at his neighbor. “Thanks, Y/N,” the moment seemed sincere for just a few moments, but as Y/N was quickly discovering, Richie can never have a serious and sincere moment for too long, because the next thing she knew, a dangerous smirk was taking over Richie’s face before he said, “Maybe I’ll come down just to see that pretty face of yours,”

The sentence was followed by an overly-exaggerated wink.

“You’re a dumbass,”

“Yeah, I know.”

[ssa-thotchnerr]

Fearing The Reaper - Drabble

Part Two of Don’t Fear The Reaper

warnings: blood, angst, angry!hotch,sad!hotch

a/n: here’s a part 2 no one asked for lol

—

The suspense was killing you, as you watched the man who killed your mother drag her body around, before finally settling on a place to leave it. You were as silent as you could be for someone who wanted to cry and scream as you watched Foyet move around your parents old bedroom, obviously looking for you. He stood at your dads side.

Waiting.

Waiting.

You waited for him to do something, anything. To move, to speak, to even breathe loud enough to let you know that he was indeed still here, that this was real and not some intricate and highly, highly disturbing nightmare that your brain had conjured up. You closed your eyes, only to start screaming as your arm was grabbed roughly.

“Let me go!” You screamed as he pulled you out from under your parents. Then you really screamed, there she was, your mom, dead in front of you. Foyet grinned as he held you in front of him, forcing you to look at your own mothers dead body. “Plea-please stop.” You whimpered, shitting your eyes, unable to take the image much longer.

“I just want you to see what you got to look forward to,” He said, right in your ear. Foyet started to pull you in the direction of your room, and you dropped your entire weight to the floor, kicking and screaming in your mostly futile attempts at him to let you go. He sighed irritably. “Stop screaming, Y/N, you’re gonna make this so much harder.” He said calmly. Your bedroom door was wide open, and he’d assumed it was yours, since there was no way a 5 year old was watching Scream. He practically threw you down in front of him, watching as you tried to push yourself back into the corner of your room.

“Pl-please don’t do this,” You stuttered, your entire body trembling with fear as you looked up at him in fear. He seemed to take pride in the fact the terror he’d caused to your family, having killed your mother, and now probably you. As the front door downstairs was presumably kicked open, you knew this was it. He would kill you, and then your dad would kill him. You looked up at Foyet as he stood above you, gun aimed between your eyes. You didn’t expect him to move the barrel at last minute, pulling the trigger and shooting you in the stomach.

You screamed in pain.

From downstairs, Hotch felt his stomach drop. There was blood in the living room and on the stairs, he didn’t want it to be yours, Haley’s or Jack’s. He knew it was too optimistic of him to think that you or your mom had fought back against Foyet, he knew that even if you had, it wouldn’t have done much damage to Foyet, you were barely 5’3 and had trouble lifting your laptop and school books at the same time. The team spread out around the house, trying to hunt for Foyet. You were sitting in the corner of your room, your head leaning against the wall as you waited for the inevitable numbers of death to come and take over you and with the flashes of consciousness you were having, you were hoping it was soon. You heard things smashing, and then thudding as you waited to die. Then it was crying, you’d heard too much of that today. There was a running coming from down the hall, and as much was you wanted to yell to whoever was out there, you didn’t have it in you anymore.

But then your door opened, and through your barely open eyes, you saw your dad run in, crouching down in front of you. Hotch was shaking as he saw you, sitting on the floor of your old bedroom, the floor beneath you covered in blood.

“Y/N?” Hotch was covered in blood, Haley’s blood. You looked up at your dad, wincing in pain as you lifted the bottom of your shirt. The bad on the shirt, God, your parents hated them. Hotch didn’t care about the band on the shirt though, he was much more concerned about the bloody hole on your stomach, and it was bleeding. It was bleeding bad. “Oh, honey.” Hotch was quiet.

“It hurts, daddy,” You whimpered, letting out a quiet sob as he held your hand. Hotch knew he was crying, and he tried to hold it together, if you didn’t make it, he didn’t want you to see him crying. Your head fell forward as you let out a shaky, laboured breath. Hotch squeezed his eyes shut, he couldn’t lose you and Haley in the same day.

“Y/N, look at me,” Hotch said gently, swallowing the fear in his throat when you didn’t answer. “Y/N!”

-

“Are you sure you’re ready to do this? You know that you don’t have to,”

“Yes, I do,”

You’d barely survived, your dad carried you out of the house when you’d slumped over and into your dads lap. When they’d taken you to the hospital, you’d needed 2 blood transfusions, and had to stay in a medically induced coma due to the stress it could put on your weakend body if you were awake. You’d missed your moms funeral, and your dad had offered to go to the cemetery with you so you could say goodbye. You didn’t tell your dad what you’d seen, that you’d been forced to head your moms dead body being dragged up the stairs, that you’d been forced to be faced with her dead body.

“I think if I don’t go right now I won’t go at all,” You said quietly, looking over at your dad from the passenger side of the car. You’d gotten out of the hospital yesterday, a day after they’d woken you up, and then you were faced with having to talk about what had just happened. Hotch nodded and got out of the drivers side, coming over the passenger side and helping you out. You held your dads hand as he led you through the cemetery, the last place you hoped you’d be spending your weekend. “Was Jack okay?” You’d barley had any time to ask your dad if Jack was fine.

“Yeah, he didn’t really understand what was going on, he kept asking if you were okay. I brought him to see you while you were still out,” Your dad told you. You nodded, and took a deep breath in as you came to a stop. The dirt was still fresh, the grass having not grown due to the recent digging up of the dirt. Hotch put his arm around you as he heard the shaky breath coming from you.

“I didn’t do anything to stop him,” You said quietly. Hotch sighed quietly.

“Y/N-“

“No, I-I should’ve-“

“Y/N, listen to me. There was nothing you could have done, you’re 14, what could you have done without getting yourself hurt?” Hotch asked you. You stuttered for an answer, before you eventually broke down in tears. Your head fell to the side of your dads arm, and his hand ran up and down your arm as you continued sobbing. “I know, I’m sorry, honey.”

—