#Hakkai is so desperate to not be alone he throws himself in harms way for his party

[wildkimiko]

Because this is my current fic and I'm rotating my blorbo inside my head*

A leader whumpee who has abandonment issues, so they try really hard to be there for their team, to the point where it's self-destructive.

Maybe they were exiled from their community. Maybe their parents let them down. Maybe they're an orphan, and never had anyone care for them. Maybe they're incredibly afraid of the people they love being harmed in some way. So when they get older, and they're surrounded by people who they care about, they dedicate themselves to them, because that's all they wanted as a child. They always just stop shy of throwing away their life to save their friends, but if the situation came about, they'd do it. Literally "ride or die". Sometimes it scares the team with how much Leader will do for them just to ensure they're safe, healthy, and happy.

But as a result, Leader is terrified that their team will not care for them in the same manner. When Whumper kidnaps them, they can't help but think their team won't come for them. Everyone else in their life prior to that never came when they asked for help. And when Whumper whispers in their ear that nobody will save them, after a while they start to believe it. Days turns to weeks, or months, and they steadily lose hope that anyone is coming to save them.

This can lead down two paths:

1) their team doesn't come for them. Whether it takes them to long go find Whumpee, or Whumpee manages to escape on their own, their worries are validated. The team is excited to see Whumpee safe and sound, but Whumpee seems... Different, now. They don't offer a helping hand, and they begrudgingly will protect them during a fight, but... The dedication just isn't there. Whumpee grows more and more distant until their team confronts them. And Leader Whumpee breaks down, yelling at them for not rescuing them, that all this time they thought their team would care. It takes a lot of time to convince Leader Whumpee that they were looking for them, that they used every trick and connection they shared to find them.

2) their team DOES come for them. They rescue Leader Whumpee and care for them. But Whumpee doesn't quite believe it's real. It takes quite a bit of convincing to tell their leader that yes, they care about them, they'd always come to help, to relax and be the one looked after for a change. Bonus points if they tell Whumpee this when they're incredibly feverish, and the realization that they DO care just causes all the stress to leave their body, and they collapse because they know they're safe and loved.

Just... Ugh. I love it. That's why I'm writing it.

*I have aphantasia and cannot actually rotate blorbo in my head, so that's why you get this post