#HS has a very realistic approach to things like mental illness and also effects of propaganda and abuse

[lovelyrotter]

yknow i think the thing ppl dont get about ult dirk is that everything that man does in the epilogues is fueled by self harm. i mean he literally kills himself in candy, and then makes a point to PERMANENTLY distance himself from everyone he loves, in particular jake and dave.

dirk breaks things off with jake in the most dramatic way possible to 1) manufacture a dramatic narrative quite literally for the reader, bc hes aware of the reader (us) as the narrator, and 2) cement the hurt in both jake and himself so its 'too late' for them. hes like a hurt cat, he just claws at people sometimes, even if his people are treating him so gently. sometimes gentle is whats scary.

the reason he looks forward to the day dave takes his head off again is because he still thinks he deserves a just death. this is proven by his perma death in candy. he thinks so fuckin lowly of himself post-game that it IS just as decreed by himself. he wants dave to enact vengeance so badly, even after the striunion. even after dave already had to take his head off once before. bro strider haunts him, and you can see this in the way he memes about it (the fuckin dakimakura in his gay space bedroom. his room is so so gay /pos)

the baked-in shit that dirk has in his brain doesnt just vanish. even surrounded by loved ones, it doesnt just vanish. and dirk's various mental illnesses combined with his heart powers? you fuckin bet hes gonna take that to finally destroy himself and the image of himself in the minds of his loved ones.

its very literally the BPD/EUPD mood of "i'm going to do the things i'm scared of doing so i can be right and also punish myself for the perceived 'inherent badness' in me. i dont deserve you, so i'm going to push you away". its ELEMENTARY and imo very in-character for a grown up version of the nervous 16y/o who had the literal worst fuckin day-and-a-half imaginable right before the final fight

dirk is someone who believes he deserves scorn, criticism, and isolation, even though he CRAVES love and validation and acceptance. he wants to help, but his way of helping (taking control of a situation) scares him. dirks biggest fear is himself. if 16y/o dirk met ult dirk he'd be terrified, and then eventually create his self-fulfilling prophecy. as we see in pesterquest actually