#HONESTLY i realize im just not picky at all with how people draw my characters as long as they dont lose the Essence of the character

[pyrriax]

literal insect

oh and also this wretched text bubble that i put the fucking puppet kiss into because i didnt have anything else in my brain other than that Thing

i love sketch pages theyre just a stream of consciousness thing. their style changes like halfway thru. best time ever im looking forward to coloring this later

[nebuleeart]

3 4 5 10 12 14 16 18 22 25 26 27 30

Skipped a couple bc i couldnt think of a good answer but ehehe lets GOOOO

3. What ideas come from when you were little

A lot of my current design elements for my anthro ocs actually started when I was in elementary school and designing magical kitty girls to LARP on the playground… like honestly? If you look at Chip and Fray and Hem and then compare them to my childhood characters, not much has really changed, i just got better at art. Also these two OCs (moon and lyrica) are from like 2011 and I still use them to this day 😏

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

Despite my best efforts over the past decade (decade…. *sobs*) i STILL to this day struggle to draw sonic characters 😭 its the faces and body proportions… I just cant get it right and make them not look stiff. I’m working on it tho so hopefully in another 10 years or so I’ll finally get it down AJSHHSHAHABAB

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

Its a HUUUUGE difference. Like i’d say out of 100 sketches maybe 10 of them get finished and only 5 of those 10 end up on social media… i am very picky about what art people see.

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

I loooooove thick/heavy fabrics!! Almost all my ocs have something like that on them, i like to make them comfy 😊

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Hair! it just comes to me the easiest compared to all other parts. Close second is eyes

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

I studied cat anatomy when i was young bc i was obsessed with cats so i can specifically draw realistic cats very well but i actually dont like doing it very much… i prefer to draw them more stylized and cute :]

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

Ive had a nervous habit of biting pencils since i was old enough to use one so you can imagine the carnage I’ve inflicted on many an innocent dollar store pencil

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

Nothing before but i do stretch and get up and walk around when im feeling stiff while drawing.

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

Not quite a different interpretation but an unexpected response was all the comments on my sonic underground redesign post analyzing the design aspects and a couple pointing out things i didnt even realize I did which was really fun!! I love getting comments like that i still think about it all the time

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

Yes!! I mostly do silly loose doodles of whatever’s on my mind at the time,, dont really think about it I just draw

Recent one i did around the time the new rtfd episode dropped and i thought was funny but never posted

just dumb stuff like that ajsvshhsaj

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

Okay so last year I did this splatoon magazine spread and spent hours on it and it got like 30 notes total but its okay im not sad about it im not sad😊 (lying)

Thank you for the ask maria ily!!!

[boriswhatthemotherfuck]

dark academia ask game!

the secret history 🏛: how close are you and your group of friends? how far would you all go to protect each other? how many languages do you speak?

i have two friend groups! both of them i completely adore and i have one friend who is in both. we are close in a way most teenagers are. i find that we all lack depth in our reltionships. my best friend, who is in neither group would be the friend id be willing to truly do anything for. i love my friends in my friend group dearly, but i would never do something against my own morals for them. I only speak English !

if we were villains 🎭: are you into theatre? who’s your favourite shakespeare character? would you or do you smoke weed or cigarettes?

yes! i’m a proud thespian! i do my fair share of acting and also the technical aspects (a focus in costumes). my favorite shakespeare character is definitely ophelia! i’ve wanted to play her since i was a child, but she simply doesn’t fit my look. i’ve never had a cigarette, but i’ve smoked week a couple of times. this feels weird to talk about on the internet.

dead poets society 🖋: do you prefer poetry or prose? do you get along with your parents? do you resist authority or do you deal well with it?

prose! prose! prose! my parental relationships are not great. at all. this feels weird to talk about on the internet. i think it depends on the authority? if i have respect for them then i deal with them well. if it’s just simply someone who is in charge and treats people poorly then i don’t deal with it so well. it gets me in trouble sometimes.

kill your darlings ⏳: would you consider yourself an intelligent person? have you ever fallen in love with someone who wasn’t right for you? tradition or innovation?

honestly? no. i shouldn’t be allowed in the dark academia community. i’m more street smart tham book smart, unless it’s usesless literature, theatre, or psychology knowledge. I find that i tend to fall in love (shut up moony. youve been in love once.) to people who i think are not on the same ~emotional maturity~ level as me. innovation!! all the way!

homer 📖: is it more important to be brave or to be kind? do you like to read?

oooo this is hard. i think sometimes kindness is brave. wo i eould have to say kindness. YES! i love reading.

cigarette 🚬: what is your worst habit? do you like drinking? do you party a lot?

i have quite a few bad habits. when ever i get nervous i bite the inside of my lip until it draws blood. i also have a emotional dependence on hot cheetos. i don’t party a lot. one or twice a year i’ll go to a party.

leaf 🍁: what is your favourite season? what is your favourite comfort food?

i love the winter time! i love snow and the cold. i know this isn’t really what this is asking.... but hot cheetos....

vermont ❄️: would you ever go to school far away from your family? are you scared of losing the people close to you?

i WANT to go to a school far away. I live in the US and all the schools i plan on applying to are at least three five states away. i’m scared of losing my best friend. i don’t think i could manage life without him.

wine 🍷: how far would you go to help yourself? what about to help other people? do you think humans are inherently selfish?

to be honest, i have a massive guilt complex so not that far unless im trying to make myself feel miserable. to help other people? it depends on the person. there are some people i would pull and oliver marks for. i do think humans are inherently selfish, but i do not think that it is a bad thing. selfishness drives “selflessness” and shit so.

piano 🎹: what’s your favourite musical genre? do you play any instruments? who’s your favourite artist?

indie pop, indie rock, alt rock, and whatever the fuck hozier is. i play some ukulele. MY FAVORITE ARTIST IS HOZIER. I LOVE HIS MUSIC. IT UNDERSTANDS ME.

whiskey 🥃: tell us about your first kiss. what quality would make you reject someone who asked you out?

it was with my current partner. it was terrible. (babe if you see this i love you im SORRY) we had just watched avengers endgame and i had a STRONG emotional connection to tony stark so i was casually bawling my eyes out when she mashed her face with my face. i had NO clue what i was doing and i was STILL crying. as for rejection, i am actually very picky. i identify as demisexual (please dont hate me if you dont believe in that. im jusst tryna live) so dating and romance has been a bit dofficult as im not attracted to someone else i know them. i think my eyes are broken. my brain too. so really i would reject anyone if i felt i didn’t know them enough. maybe that’s shitty of me.

murder 🔪: are you capable of getting very angry? what are you most afraid of? what would be the worst way to die?

yes but i dont like doing it. it makes me feel out of control. when im that mad i do things that me nornally wouldn’t approve of. my ass would 100% pull that james moment with wren. i am so afraid of actually being a shit person. i am a shit person. BUT I DONT LIKE HAVING THE REALIZATION. burning alive. it would suck to burn alive.

[jynwalker]

honestly this may just be me being picky but ive kind of been bothered by something in the art of multiple fandoms and i need to get it off my chest :/

tw: racism, colorism (mentioned)

this isnt hate at all towards anybody’s art styles, or personal preferences, headcanons or anything at all. everyone is their own person and can do what they want, but this is personally hurtful to me so i wanted to share it anyways.

for all of you that don’t know me, im half mexican, half white. ive been told im too white to be mexican, and told im too mexican to be white. my (white) grandmother didn’t want me and my sibling speaking spanish or generally being ‘wetbacks’ around her. there weren’t a whole lot of mexican people in the books at this time (i didnt watch tv outside of like, spongebob), and my (mexican) father was in prison for a lot of my late primary and elementary school years, so i was already disconnected from my mexican family physically, & with my grandmothers horrible treatment and racism i became even more disconnected. most of my friends even knew i was mexican until i had known them for years, when i realized that i didnt need to be ashamed of the culture i was trying to ignore, and i began embracing it again. if i had seen less white people and more hispanic people in all of the books and movies i was watching, i wouldnt have tried so hard to forget who i am.

so when i see characters in my favorite book series and tv shows who are either confirmed or heavily implied to be hispanic or latino, i get really excited. and when i join the online fandom, i get really excited too. so its really quite disappointing to find out that tons of the artists making beautiful art of these characters... dont really know how to draw hispanic or latino characters. it makes me really sad to see that the representation that i thought i was getting isn’t really there in the fandom spaces.

theyre often not truly brown, just tan, and they typically dont have latino/hispanic features, overall they look nothing like their actual race; im not saying theres a specific way to look like a hispanic or latino person, because we all look different, but the representation of the one mexican character in a primarily white book series is really important to me! i wanted so badly to not be mixed when i was younger, and a lot of it was because i wasn’t seeing any characters like me in mainstream media. but its not really representation if the character just looks like a tan white person. i see lots of people in these same fandoms that im in spend tons of time learning how to draw african and asain features and skintones, yet spend zero time and effort on giving us hispanic and latino people features that arent eurocentric, white features.

overall, the point of this post is that its really hurtful to see my people be so poorly represented, and all i ask of you artists, and even the writers, is to learn about hispanic people. learn about latino people. we’re not just darker white people, we’re poc too, and we deserve the same energy you devote to respecting other poc identities. please.

[the-little-prophet]

BDRP Questionnaire 2019

Posting this on Charlie since I actually talked about him quite a bit! Let’s gooooo

Characters: Berlioz, Hades, Kiara, Nala, Andrina, Merida, Charlie, Apollo, John, Su, Ashleigh, Nemo, Jun

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now?

This one goes out to Charlie. I pitched Charlie very deceptively-- claiming he was a prophet, aligning him, at first, with Calliope, making it look like Charlie’s magic was of the classical, Cassandra-inspired kind. But all along, I knew that what I wanted Charlie to be was more of this sci-fi/fantasy blend as an homage to his movie’s sci-fi bend too. This year, I got to actually reveal that Charlie is a time traveler after two years!! This is very exciting for me! I’ve enjoyed being able to lean into Charlie’s new image systems with this reveal, even though I’m out of my depth and breaking like 67 different time travel rules, probably lol. Still, it’s been great to take him to that place, and to invent Future-Charlie as both a deux ex machina and an expression of identity/choice/free will etc etc. I did not have Future-Charlie in mind when I created Charlie, so that was something I was proud of coming up with!

Pick another character and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year?

I’m going to talk about Nemo if only because everyone else feels like a spoiler lol. Nemo, as a relatively new character though, is still full-speed-ahead on his initial goals that I outlined for him in his application. Now that Nemo’s been established in the school and he has this little group of buddies, I want:

To focus on his wing. I want Nemo to push himself, get himself in a spot of trouble, potentially injure himself.

Reveal his wings to at least one mundus friend

Continuing to infuse his posts with body image issues. This is a slow build kind of plot that really is like...the broth of Nemo’s plot-soup, lol, while training for his placement is the chicken and belonging at school is the noodles….it needs to be this throughline more than like, para a, para b, para c. at least for now.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it.

I could pick a lot of threads here lol it’s honestly so HARD. But I think I want to shout-out to the Charlie/Jim first kiss thread because it surprised even me and Hannah. We initially planned for the first kiss to be just that-- one kiss, then we done, Jim and Charlie go on to be friends. But like in the best of cases, Jim and Charlie’s palpable chemistry actually informed more of Charlie’s arc and opened up avenues previously closed to me/Charlie since Charlie had been so SHUT to the idea of love. So! I really loved that thread. Also because like, I literally made Charlie experience the big bang after his first kiss. And THAT’S the BEST way to use magic in my opinion. Like when you can infuse magic with an emotional catharsis-- I think the other time I did that super well was similar actually, when Herc kissed Kiki’s cheek and she grew a tree in his room lol. So yeah! Some of my best writing in that thread, amazing chemistry, big surprises. It was an absolute pleasure.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths.

-Image systems. I dragged myself for this, but I think it’s something that really helps me find a character’s voice and make myself excited to RP them! Also, I think it’s what people like about my writing sometimes. Maybe. IDK, lol. -Complex Emotion: I’m stealing this from my mentor who said I’m good at creating complex emotion and so you know its true. My most introverted characters get the bulk of this naturally--they are introspective and feely and give themselves the space to think and feel. But I really want to try to inject more into my extroverted characters. I think I’m doing well for Nemo, who had undiagnosed anxiety and so that informs a lot of his personality in very interesting-- very OPPOSITE-- ways as Berlioz; Nemo struggles with being alone because ‘alone’ means he gets too in his head. That’s been really fun for me and why he’s quickly become one of my fave voices to write (I know, u all thought it was because I am in love with Jimin (true), but no its bc Nemo is an anxious, big feeling baby and he’s always so Alive to me, plus i was made to write a fairy it was always my destiny.)

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

-Dialogue: PERSONALLY I feel like I’m not great at dialogue. Some posts are better than others and I think I’m good at like…..texting dialogue? IDK. I feel like I struggle in paras though to craft good dialogue. It’s just, rn, average dialogue. Of course not every post needs to have hilarious, punchy, great dialogue. But do my characters sound different? Am I doing all I can to create rhythm and speech patterns? -Filtering: Im being very picky rn, because actually I don’t do this too much, but I do it enough where I’m like, I gotta go read some really stellar writers adn ban myself from using “Feel” and “think” for like a whole month. What I’m talkinga bout is like: Ber realized/ Ber thought / Ber knew. That kind of writing is totally fine, but that’s about it. I need to come up with more creative ways to talk about feelings and abstract concepts!!!

-Character: I know everyone is probably like………….how dare lauryl put this here. But listen. I don’t think I struggle with character on RP. But outside of RP? Oh boy! The THING about RP is you MUST create a character, that’s your vessel for writing here, and so you do all that development plus u got the four years of worldbuilding informing that character, and literally EVERYTHING CHARACTER DRIVEN ITS...THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.  Outside of RP though I think I have struggled because my natural affinity is worldbuilding and shit like that. I’m type 5 baby, I am attracted to characters who let me poke at things I don’t know anything about, like even Jun, part of it really is like, petitions and grocery store management lmfadsofij. SOOOo idk I just need to be able to focus on crafting characters that are compelling vessels for the cool shit I like to do outside of RP.

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. JOHN DARLING BREAKS INTO FAERYLAND 1. Call Down the Hawk/Raven Cycle: It’s no coincidence that my reread of Raven Cycle last winter played a pretty big part in inspiring this new version of John. The descriptions of the magical forest Cabeswater and the hunt for Glendower have the same kind of contemporary fantasy vibe that I really like for John. And of course, Ronan’s dream magic is very much intertwined with the faery realm feeling like a dream (and Ashleigh, obviously, as a dark faery who can manipulate them). More than that though, the attention paid to the psyches of each character and how they drive the plot forward is just… /chefs kiss. 2. The Mabinogian: I want to draw from these classic Welsh/British stories and incorporate them in creative ways! Or just as, like, motifs are something. :) I have tried to do this but would like to be a lot more intentional, instead of just being like lmao let me look up some random shit for this one reply~ 3. The Hazel Wood: This book deals with characters coming into the real world from a book world! This kind of goes along with the Mabinogian as I kind of ish want to do something similar, only treating the Mabinogian as a historical, cultural text as opposed to a fiction. This book also focuses a lot on fairy tale tropes (like numbers) which I really want to incorporate in John’s stuff. I want to ideally write some of my own fairy tales-- I have one in mind actually through Ashleigh but it’s related to John too since he’d the scholar of said stories.  

And now, a wishlist!

-Exploring Nemo’s disability. This is slightly challenging for me since we don’t have many fairies, but I’m brainstorming some ideas and hope to really kick it off in January, leading up to his Talent Placement Test.   -I really want to have a lot of town-centric plots for Jun. Would love to rp with the police officers! I want to have Jun try to get some ppl arrested tbh ahah, like, Fflew for loitering, or maybe reporting Mitte. I would love some arch nemeses tbh-- Mitte does seem like a good one. AND I want to submit at least three petitions next semester!! Maybe i should make that two!! Still!! -Do some Bonfamille plots. I already have something I’m really excited about and have already planned here so this is a teaser… -Keep writing essays. The fairies have been great, getting me really inspired to do these.What’s been an amazing mental exercise, and why I cannot stop writing these, is thinking about how the political philosophy of Pixie Hollow informs how it functions: technically, socioculturally etc. It’s really fun for me to basically build a communist thought project and then enact it for real. I feel like I’m learning a lot about...well, societies, lol, and how the material factors endlessly bleed into, and shape, ideas and beliefs (and vice versa). Also, I literally have to do these because when Nemo is IN the Hollow and I want to write him getting a glass of water, I’m faced with a lot of technical questions: do fairies have running water? Does he have to get it from a stream? How do they keep things cool? Etc etc. And that’s why I go off on these, and I’m excited to keep doing them, as many as I can, with feedback from my fellow fairies. Also, do want to do ones that are NOT fairy related, so we’ll see about that. -Write John backstory. He’s gone on a few other adventures and I’d like to actually one-shot those maybe lol. -Alternate Charlie Timeline: This is something that’s bopping around in my head and I haven’t found the perfect way to make it happen, but I want Charlie to travel to an alternate version of his life and get stuck. When I figure out the right way to do this, my partners will also get to rp alternate versions of their characters lol. That’s fun right!! Of course it is, we do it all the time with AUs, but this one obvi be more personal and more closely tied to canon.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP? First and foremost, I RP because it’s writing for the sake of writing-- joy for joy. I think this is even more important this year as I’ve had to focus on mentorship writing outside of RP. RP became the place where I didn’t have to think so hard about making everything make sense, lol. It gave my brain a break so I could be less judgmental of myself and just have fun and do the most ridiculous stuff...and some of my fave stuff iS ridiculous because of that...like Nemo and Sindri making flower crowns or the ASC nonsense. It’s this kind of light, fluffy, low-stake (but still High Stake) stuff that provided me endless joy when I needed it the most. Second of all, I RP because I really want to invest in people’s creative energy. I think doing so gives back to myself. Building canon, helping people brainstorm, seeing people grow-- I feel like a proud mom when I get to have this kind of mentorship role myself. I talked to MK about this, but even though Sam left to go off and do greater things, that’s like-- to me, it was a lot like he was graduating from this weird BDRP school I’ve helped create. I felt nothing but pride and happiness for him and really felt like, if BDRP was to explode tomorrow, I ACHIEVED the thing I set out to do when, four years ago, I sat on my computer and drafted BDRP’s mission and vision and committed myself to this admin role. And THAT’S what I want ideally-- for BDRP to be this collaborative place that doesn’t focus too much on what makes sense, on sitewide plots that force people into roles. I have always wanted plots like ASC and John’s search for Excalibur to be able to exist side by side, and I think we’ve done that. Now we just have to tend this garden, don’t we, haha? May BDRP bear many delicious fruit.

[childlikemperor]

A PSA: protip from an artist to fanfic writers

you can always tell when a fanfic writer has never met or even seen an artist irl ever bc they ALWAYS. WITHOUT A FAIL. will have their artist character drawing with charcoal like casually and it feels kinda like a copout like yes i know there are charcoal artists out there but listen,,,, 95% of artists who like just draw on sketchbooks bc they love drawing actually hate charcoal charcoal is one of the most impractical mediums for sketching and it gets everywhere and it smudges all over ur sketchbook pages and everything else in your life forever so like really take into account what the profile of the character as an artist is and more often than not you'll find yourself realizing that no, no matter how lyrically you think the image of charcoal sketching would work, your character would not find it practical/worth the mess to carry around one or more charcoal sticks then have it MARK UP ALL THEIR EARTHY POSSESSIONS (sorry im really passionate abt this) just for sketching also PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF BUMBLEBEES dont use it as a synonym for graphite ok just dont just say graphite, say they were using a pencil i promise you itll feel better. ⚫️here's some nice alternatives to charcoal if u like a Messy Artist™feel to things + how to match them to your character based on my experiences w artists that use these mediums/myself: → ink has a similar edge of "fingertips smudged in black probably forever" but it's simpler to carry even though it also has that risk of staining everything you love, depending on how its used (as in, will they carry around a glass bottle of jett black ink and a brush in their bag/pocket or just have it in different kinds of pens?) + artist who use ink usually like a very finished crisp look to their work and are therefor usually quite methodical and have (or strive to have) steady hands even with fluid lines there's intent to whats going on. these artists usually sketch first (and rarely in graphite, usually blue or red colored pencil) so keep that in mind too. rarely will you see someone just straight up taking a brush pen to paper with no layout and if they do they have a very clear image in mind and outstanding control and understanding of where everything should go and how and where. →watercolor is less messy but it takes a bit more of a setup bc you need water and usually a palette. i use it quite a bit myself on my sketchbook and what i do is i just ask for/get glasses of water anywhere i go, get my paints and whatever scrap of paper to mix them on and im ready bc all i care about is my finished product and i usually draw in places where water is easily accessible (like parks w water fountains/stores w water fountains nearby, coffee shops, school, etc) but a lot of artists who have it as their *main* medium and have developed more practical setups over the years tend to have lil travel palettes that are tiny and easy to pack as well as waterbrushes and water bottles to fill them with all in all not too hard to carry around with minimal incident. people with watercolor as a main medium are usually more laid back and like things to look soft and dreamy (can be REALLY picky about paper tho) and generally just strive for happiness and like pretty things (if yr person is painting a landscape, its probably in watercolor since it dries fairly quickly and like i said isnt too hard to carry) →acrylic artists uhh... idk any other artists who paint w acrylic on their sketchbook so ill just speak for them ok WE JUST WANT THINGS TO LOOK GOOD OK WE WILL SUFFER FOR IT WE DONT CARE its a bit of a lot to carry depending on how many colors ur tryna have to mix but u gotta have at least ur 3 primaries and a black and a white (some artists work w yellow cyan and magenta but ppl swear by yellow ultramarine and red so idk ycm shows better online or if ur printing it out so it works for me bc i like my colors really really bright) and ur brushes so ye. + like i said folks who work with acrylic have a very specific look and feel they're going for and they dive headfirst into it, if something goes wrong, acrylic is usually quite opaque so it can be easily layered over once its dry, blending usually comes from mixing dif midtones so if thats part of their style they're probably quite patient/willing to sacrifice their patience for a good end product. some artists will mix their colors themselves bc they like the process or because they want very specific shades and those are the methodical fuckers who'll die for things to look the way they gotta look and also just really like the process (be it because it relaxes them or makes them think or whatever BUILD ON THAT W UR CHARACTER) and some just get premixed bottles of the colors they want and those are really focused on efficiency and laying paint down wherever they're painting and getting it done (so not so much the process but the act of painting or even just having art made) but i cant really speak for those too much then again thats between you and ur character →IF YOUR CHARACTER WORKS WITH COLORED PENCILS AS THEIR MAIN MEDIUM THEY'RE A WELL OF PATIENCE AND DESERVE TO BE CANONIZED. fairly easy to carry i mean i own like 100 of them and i just carry one big pencil case w them in so ye whats really tiresome is the process since u gotta go color for color and cant really cover too wide a surface w the pencil tip ever + usually daydreamers and, honestly, dayDREAMS, lovely patient folk who just really like color and enjoy the introspectiveness and calm of coloring. explore those dudes, they deserve it SUMMARY: TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE MEDIUM YOUR ARTIST USES. THINK ABOUT STYLE. DONT JUST HAVE YOUR PAINTED MAKE ABSTRACT ART BC YOU CANT BE BOTHERED TO THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH PAINT. IF UR NOT GONNA MAKE IT PART OF UR CHARACTER STUDY WHAT THEY MAKE ART WITH AND HOW AND WHAT ABOUT UR MISSING OUT MAN!!!!!! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!! please give your artist characters the depth they deserve and remember us artists build half of ourselves because, through and around our art so to make that just a title of ours is kind of a disservice, your artist character wouldnt want that. visual artists feel free to add on to this!!

[viralhottopics]

A Definitive Ranking Of 2000s Rom Coms

Although people who peaked in high school like to act poetic about how great the 2000s were, they werent actually any better than the present day. I mean, it was a time when Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wore matching denim outfits in public and nobody carted them off to an insane asylum.

But Im prepared to make a concession on two points: 1) At least we werent under the administration of a sentient slime mold wearing a bad wig. 2) The 2000s were a golden age for romantic comedies, mostly thanks to Judy Greers tireless efforts to play every heroines best friend. Plus, only like half the jokes were sexist, and there was about an 80% chance pre-pretentious Matthew McConaughey would show up.

Obviously, a betch has to be picky about her rom-comssome are shitty in a good way, but others are best avoided in case someone catches you watching them. To guide your Netflix viewings, here’s a totally objective list of 00s rom coms. If you disagree, which Im sure everyone will, please note that Im not actually forcing you to watch these movies; Im just saying that if you regularly watch any of the bottom five, you have terrible taste.

14.

is considered a modern classic by two groups of people. 1) men in their late 20s with a crush on Natalie Portman and a thriving quarter-life crisis and 2) 8th graders in 2004 under the assumption that any movie that features a Shins track in its soundtrack is automatically deep. To everyone else, its a film about self-absorbed white people whining about their lives until theyre magically fixed by the power of mixtapes. There are approximately a zillion issues with this film, beginning with Zach Braffs complete lack of expression and ending with the fact that you cant cure real depression by listening to The Shins, no matter how clearly superior the soundtrack is to anything else in this film. Worst of all, though, is the fact that Natalie Portman played a manic pixie dream girl so obnoxious I still dream about strangling her character sometimes. Padme deserves so much better.

13.

Im not saying romantic comedies have to make much sense, but s plot is mystifying. Matthew McConaugheys parents are tired of him living at home, so they call in a lady high class escort (Sarah Jessica Parker) whose job is literally seducing men into moving out of their parents basements and unceremoniously dumping them. Because that’s plausible, and not at all fucked up to force your son to fall in love with someone you’re paying. Ridiculous premise aside, you know a movie is terrible when famed nicegirl Zooey Deschanel is the best thing about it.

12. Monster-in-Law

In case you missed this one, and for your sake I hope you did, is about Jane Fonda inexplicably being terrible to Jennifer Lopez, who walks a lot of dogs and is engaged to Fondas son. That right there should tell you all you need to knowI cannot think of one movie that JLo was in that was anything above mild torture, and we’re supposed to root for her character why, exactly? If my son was engaged to a full-time dog walker you can best believe I’d do everything short of actual murder to put a stop to that bullshit.

11.

Im told some people love this movie, but Jesus fucking Christ, is it possible for the two main characters to be any more appalling? Here you have two assholes manipulating the shit out of each other and just generally acting psychotic, all to win a stupid bet with their friends. They really should call it “How To Act Like A Psychopath And Lose Your Dignity.”

10.

Not gonna lie, I fucking adored when I was an impressionable preteen. It had time travel! Mark Ruffalo! A makeover scene! Years later, the movie is still fun to watch, even if it is way too obsessed with the 80s, but the jokes are more cute than funny. Also, why would anyone allow their 13-year-old child to go to a sleepover hosted by a 30-year-old? That is … questionable to say the least. Not to mention Jennifer Garner’s character does a reverse transformation from a betch into a nicegirl and dumps her hot pro bf in favor of her formerly fat friend. Blah blah, true love, I don’t give a fuck. Tenth.

9.

is close to being wrapped in cutesy narration, but it’s far superior. For one thing, it reintroduced the world to Joseph Gordon-Levitts dimples. For another, it manages to be a fairly realistic depiction of a shitty millennial relationship without being super fucking depressing. But thats also kind of the problemrom coms arent supposed to be realistic, theyre supposed to be clich and feel-good, and I don’t care what you say, Summer is a thot. I have literally stayed up at night mapping how she could have possibly met someone worthy of engagement a mere 118 days after she broke up with Tom, and only six days after attending a wedding as his guest (yes I did the mathI told you; this movie keeps me up at night). No matter how you slice it, she had to have cheated on somebody.

8.

Full disclosure: As a Southern betch, Im stoked that takes place right next door. (Dear Hollywood: An entire country exists between New York and LA.) But even though it features Patrick Dempsey as the other man, Josh Lucas with a dreamy Southern accent, and Reese Witherspoon, there are still some issues. Mainly, WTF WERE YOU THINKING, MELANIE? Did you really dump your future president fianc for your secret redneck husband just so “the first boy you kissed could also be your last”? I’ve heard of trying to keep your number down, but damn if this isn’t some delusional shit.

7.

Everyone on planet Earth can relate to having a batshit crazy family, and thats exactly what makes appealing. The two leads are fine, considering they’re not Kate Hudson or Matthew McConaughey, but the extended family is everyones favorite part of the movie. Honestly the most memorable moment to come out of this movie is the “put some Windex on it”pretty good deal for Windex, not so much for the people who actually starred in the movie. However, it does get points for the memorable line: “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she pleases.”

6.

The plot is pretty flimsy (a Canadian businesswoman has to marry her assistant to avoid deportation) but everyone loves a story where the couple starts out hating each other and eventually falls in love. The cast is what makes this movie pure rom com gold: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, and Betty fucking White, who gifted us with the infamous Native American dance scene. Basically, it’s predictable but ridiculous, making it better than some of the other garbage movies on this list.

5.

Admittedly, is probably to blame for some of the chubby man-child/beautiful, svelte woman couplings we see in the media that give men unrealistic beauty expectations (of the types of women they can expect to date), otherwise known as The Beyonc/Jay Z Phenomenon. But whatevs. Its a good movie. Seth Rogen has that whole dad bod thing going onapparently a thing some people are intoand Katherine Heigl was at the top of her rom com game before she pissed off the entire cast of .is actually hilarious, which is enough to make up for the fact that Katherine Heigl appears in it.

4.

Even aside from my undeniable crush on youthful Sandra Bullock, is a quintessential early-2000s romantic comedy. Allow me to explain. 1) It stars an ambitious career woman who dont need no man. 2) But she kind of wants one anyway, and everyone realizes what a catch she is when she puts on lipstick and a dress. 3) Did I mention its plot is literally an extended makeover scene as Bullock goes from bad ass FBI agent to bad ass beauty pageant contestant? I rest my case. Add in some cute female friendships and a scene in which Bullock teaches us how to fend off an attacker, and its basically required viewing every year.

3.

You had to know was going to make the list despite this amazing take-down article of why it’s actually terrible. With approximately a bajillion storylines going on, its hard not to find one you like and get invested, and it doesnt hurt that the film features every well-known British actor under the sun. Im not sure how the movie manages to juggle all the different plots without being confusing and/or boring, but Im not gonna question it. However, this shit is TOO FUCKING LONG. If I have to pop an Adderall just to make it through a damn movie (which I do), you need to send your editors back to the drawing board.

2.

is the perfect example of a rom com thats super clich in theory, but in practice, its so fucking heartwarming it doesnt even matter (ugh). Katherine Heigl plays ultimate nicegirl Jane (in case the fact that her name is “Jane” wasn’t enough of a clue), whos been part of 27 weddings and miraculously hasnt gone broke from buying all the bridesmaid dresses. The dudes are pretty forgettable, but Janes psychotic sister and slutty best friend totally steal the spotlight, elevating the film to truly betchy heights.

P.S. For once, James Marsden plays the leading man, so his preternaturally perfect face gets more screen time, #bless.

1.

Bridget Joness Diary is the ultimate feel-good movie, as in its literally impossible to watch it without feeling your icy soul thaw ever so slightly at the end. The titular character starts out fat, single, and past the age of 30, so basically our worst nightmare. By the end, though, she manages to bang Hugh Grant and Colin Firth, land a better job, and become a self-described wanton sex goddess. If those arent your life goals, you clearly need to start your own self-help journey.

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from A Definitive Ranking Of 2000s Rom Coms