#HONESTLY THATS SICK. I WANT TO WATCH ITTTTT

[suosage]

WIND BREAKER STAGE (2025)

[haveihitanerve]

I am the lady of a thousand Don Juans

Holy fuck its been a while huh? Jingle Boys is still in the works I swear its just been… an interesting time.. But meanwhile i watched The Meringue Haberdashery and had thoughts so! Here ya go!

Before we start: a meringue is a type of light dessert food and a haberdashery is a clothing store- typically mens clothing and just other clothing accessories. Just to clarify bc sometimes their titles are out of this world lol

Sam setting the scene in case anyone on stage is confused lol to make sure they all know it will be something about sewing(not gonna look at anyone but looking at you aj)

“Very good, very good.” Sam’s little blink of “ok. Yeah. sure aj. This accent.” priceless

“You taught me the needle you taught me the thread you taught me the sew you taught me the stitch” sam i was really hoping this was gonna rhyme it had such rhythm

“I only show you the way” wow aj going philosophical on us

“The needle shows you the way.” *leans back and smiles in proud of himself aj*

“... how is that different from teaching?” wow ok sam let him have his moment gosh lmaoo

“No no no no no” *taps temple because duh sam you just don't get ittttt*

“You will, don Juan, you will.” Sorry- AJ did you just call Sam by the name he gave you?... just checking

“How is your wife.” I see you aj trying to further the plot but that was a wild convo shift lol

“She is still very sick. Don Juan.” I assume that Tom just muttered something that was something akin to both of them being called the same name which made Aj break character and look at him and then Tom was just like *no don't look at me keep moving* with the casual spinning of the fingers to indicate wrap it up or wtv idk im guessing but it makes me happy

“Narakinyo.” Just plopping this here as an account of who is named what

“You did a fine job you did.” It scratches my brain correctly when Aj emphasizes certain words like when he goes “huge fucking katanna” or does his “i hate you” shtick idk just mentioning

“We never tell her that ey?” *lifts hand for high five that Sam doesn’t respond to* if i had a nickel for every time AJ wanted to high five Sam while speaking a different accent and was momentarily denied I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but its weird that it happened twice

Its ok guys Sam does actually give him a high five for this one. Unlike in the paella one who’s name I can’t think of rn

“Ah yes a memory…” The smile i cant its so cute- Sam like “please motherfucker understand” and AJ’s just like “what the fuck are you doing bro” 

“I think thats where I was- I’m confused.” 😭 you got him to break character and the fourth wall to admit to confusion sam how

“I was walking along the street-” *completely ignoring Sam and not focusing on his flashback at all* Sam: *well shit lemme just get up again then* oh ok. (Also- are we not gonna point out that even if AJ was just narrating his flashback- neither Luke nor Tom made any effort to help Sam out like lmaoo give him nothing guys we love)

“... could i have some details please?” Sam asking for the people and AJ almost breaking

“I was thrown off by the child.” AJ’s helpless shrug 😭 precious

“I heard a child singing outside-” *pauses for dramatic effect and Luke does an absolutely incredible mimic of Sam*

“Nikita.” ok so Sam has forgotten the whole name but he has the vibes- honestly AJ why do you always pick the most complicated names😭(i know we joke that they use the same names a lot but can you honestly blame them with AJ throwing these fucking names out there all the time???lmaooo)

AJ just fucking done and smacking the shit out of Sam is priceless

Sam just using the opportunity to hide his face from the crowd and laugh because he honestly has no clue either

“You fookin stupid sometimes-” love the way Aj says this. 

“Im sorry okay! I mean you can- sew a waistcoat perfectly but you cannot sew a narrative together.” damn sam. That was smooth

“Okay.” *hand movement* “I understand where you are going now- and we’ll recap and re-fuckin-wind.” poor babies lmaoooo

“Nikina Nikinya” (both of these are wrong) “was a child and not my wife,” (im sorry a wife was in the equation?????) “who I thought-” Aj. delightful chaos creature that you are. I don't know that I’ve ever heard someone refer to their partner or wife as their little one unless- its a child. But uh. Yeah. ok. Sure. clarification is key. 

“There she was!” “...the little child..?” “The little child. We’re going with this.” Aj not making eye contact and staring into the audience like theres someone looking down the barrel at him is crazy 

“I was in flow.” The most passive aggressive twist and look at Sam like “are you gonna interrupt me again or let me tell the story now with my word choice?” you do you king

AJ: Like a bird through the sky. It landed it went- *realizes wtf he’s saying and where this has to end* straight- *covers mouth with his hand like the victorian lady that he is while laughing* through her eye Sam: *equally realizing what a fucked storyline he’s built* *covers mouth in equal distress and attempt not to laugh*

“Ah so sharp…” AJ???? That sounded so genuinely upset wow

“And as I pulled ze string-” AJ!!!! Ughhh… the crowd catches on immediately bc ofc aj baby you were shocked and horrified and now you're making it worse???😭

“Don juan.” Aj once again calls Sam by his own name but wtv they can both be don juan

“If you want to live it… y'know then go for it!” *shrugs, unbothered king* LMAOOO both Sam and Aj laughing at his pure insanity is always a treat

Sam pulling a lovely life lesson out of the horrifying story and Aj just smiling because “yeah sam. Sure.” 

“Ill always teach you lessons-” “oh so now you do admit you teach me!” Cheeky lil shit Sam but hes a delight so we’ll allow it lol

Unamused and yet amused AJ. “I got ya! :)” “...very good.” 

Aj: *turns to leave* *turns back* Sam: *waiting for expansion of plot* AJ: *nah fuck that* I’m going to take a “power nap” Sam: *loses it because wow that came outta left field*

Oh no luke is a sickly victorian child…

OHHHH HES THE SICK WIFE. i get it. Im only slightly slower than aj yall give me a second

(Babette is a womans name- however is this instance I do believe Sam meant for it to be a cutesy loving nickname- in which case it means Little God. hes calling his wife his little god… anyway)

“Sopa.” Yes Luke slay with your spanish. “Sssssoup?” Sam struggling on Duolingo. “Yes!” Luke is so happy for him lol

“Have you ever wondered why… why you and him have the same name?” YES LUKE. YES. CALL THEM OUT. OH YEA. YESSSSS LMAOOO

The mischievous lil smirk right before he says it too and the way sam fights for a second but honestly its not his fault because he said the name first- Aj also leaning into frame because he’s rocking back and forth from laughter and looking at Tom like “oh thats what you were saying.” XD

“Thats what I’m sticking with thats what happened.” Makes eye contact with crowd. 😭 you go sam!

“He has no ambition!” Sam offended on AJ’s fake characters behalf. “Hes had a rough year??” The look he gives of disbelief lmaooo and Luke just like “ugh so???” queen.

“For many years his daughter was alive and healthy-” (Sam sees where he is going with this and already has to stop the laugh from escaping because wow Luke. wow. Low blow i gotta say but he is committing) “Yet the shop stayed the same size. Why?” (Maybe i’ve seen this clip before or maybe he says it the same every time but i swear i've heard luke say “why?!” like that exactly before…)

“Porque?” yes Luke, the reason sam didn't answer was because he didn't understand your question- it was a language barrier problem- and not because hes busy shoving his fist into his mouth to avoid laughing at your audacity XD

“If you observed my mime carefully I did get you a spoon from the drawer!☝️” (let us rewind the tape shall we?: Sam opens the cupboard and pulls out a can, opens it and pours it into the pan that I’m amusing was already on the stove elsewise he’s pouring soup over his stove…anyway-[it was already there, he messed with it in the beginning]he puts the can back??? And closes the cupboard. Turns on the flame. Takes the pot off the flame as he moves a pace to the left and stirs it, sets the pot down to argue with luke, opens top cupboard this time, removes a bowl?, ladles soup into it, then opens the drawer, takes out spoon[we assume], sticks it in bowl, closes drawer, and serves it to luke…mmmm. He has passed the test of stagecraft…for now)

SAM TAKES BACK THE SOUP SPOON THAT HE’D ALREADY PLACED IN THE SOUP AND PUTS IT BACK IN THE DRAWER WITHOUT CLEANING. (i’d be more upset if it weren't mime- i’d be less upset if they didn't make such a big deal out of their stagecraft all the time and then made such egregious errors such as this🙄lmao)

Sam: *sweetly contemplating retiring options fro Don Juan for him to find closure and meaning again* Luke: *death. He should find death* bullets? Sam: *excusemewtflukehuh-* wh-what? Luke: *oh shit that was an inside thought* oh hm? Oh i have fever ohhhh LMAOOO

Aj standing up and ending the scene and then marginally flicking his fingers gently at Tom to get him to stand and join the scene🫠my heart-

Tom just weirdly arching his back and leaning forward and trusting Aj to please don't drop me

Omfg they work so well- Luke calling out faintly “papa! Papa! Papa!” and Aj clocking(finally) that its like his trauma flashback and jerking unexpectedly and Tom immediately going “Yep he just ruined my suit and my life” and jumping to be an angry customer… *chefs kiss* they're so good

Also I fully believe Tom just wanted an excuse to slap Aj lmao

“Do not make me point my dick at you in rage!” Tom firstly what secondly aj did not expect that and laughs beautiful

Tom just yells incoherently: captions: [angry Tom>:(]

Sam making the exit bell noises😭 they are so extra and yet its not nearly enough its so perfect

“He was-he -hea ahdhye- usth-” [reboot required :D] poor babyyyyy🤧

Aj shaking with silent laughter as he just bends over the chair to not have to look at the audience and Sam slowly approaching and placing a comforting hand on his back🫠

“You went full Porky Pig just then!” Sam! You’re supposed to be helping him not break him completely lol!

Aj wiping actual tears from his eyes???? Precious baby

Does a [don't touch me >:(] shrug away

Im sorry- is aj about to stab sam??? I don't like the way he’s examining the needle…

Aj being fucking terrifying- “Do you ever think, maybe, its possible to put the needle so deep inside of your own mind- that you can pry out all the memories that you don't want?” this is… such a grieving and heartbreaking line and oh wow… chills. Ouch that hurts

And then Aj immediately fumbles for words and has to reboot a second lmao

“Oh i- i will just go heh!” *does like a weird squat thing and spreads arms out* sam i would run. Because thats terrifying and he’s clearly not agreeing hes just being… difficult? Idk the word for it but run

“NOOO!” “AHHHH!” guessed it

Aj- hang on- so imma recap this for yall- ajs mother came from spain to england- im assuming since Haberdashery is a very english thing- spat him out via other lips the second she breached the haberdashery door- he started crawling immediately after birth while his mother was fully able to walk and fucked off again- as he was crawling he found a needle looking wooden splinter- because a newborn child and a needle is a great combination- and used that to build the entire fucking shop. All caught up? Great. Sam you lied before- Aj can sew together fucking fabulous narratives 

All of the boys also losing it at his joke- and the way he says “whole shop.” 

Ok wait this is actually so sweet and twisted- Babette obviously has some ulterior motives- but Don Juan clearly loves Don Juan and wants him to just rest and live out the rest of his days in peace and grieve properly- but Don Juan is getting paranoid and wants to hold onto his shop with everything he has because he had it with his daughter and now Don Juan is trying to take it away from him and arghh

“Like a meringue under a hammer!” Sam trying realll hard to get the Meringue part of this title into there lol

“Nikita nina.” Guys. no. not. Anyway

“Has your daughter been saying this to me from beyond the grave? NO! *vehement denial*... my wife on the other hand *eyyyy cheeky mischief*” i love their acting

Another aj recap- he throws a needle at Sam(im assuming its just a needle and not just a wooden splinter) and declares hes gonna bulldoze the whole building- everything he has built and worked for for years of his life and is refusing to let go of but now willingly destroying because yeah that makes sense- and is challenging sam to see if he can rebuild it the way he built the shop from scratch when he was freshly womb-freed child. 

Sam has now grown cocky instead of empathetic. “I’ve got a lunch appointment in an hour. I suppose i've- with my skills i will have time to rebuild.” yall. Are. fucking. Haberdashers!!!! Not. carpenters? House builders??😭 no wat why am i questioning sfth logic. I take it back. Yall slay 

“Just be careful that you don't destroy yourself in the process.” ominous warning i wonder how they’ll incorporate that… “Im going to go for a power nap.” aj never change i beg XD

So Tom is finally in another scene yay!

“You've made a complete recovery!” GASP!!! DUN DUN DUN. did not see this coming wow

“We’re not questioning!!!” *tom being the supportive feminist king* “you do you!” *as always*

Ooooohhh! Luke has been drugging Aj… interesting plot twists Tom.. keep ‘em coming these are delicious

“Who would i be driving mad?” Gaslight gatekeep girlboss. “The doctor?!? Hehe!” Tom i love you you absolute nerd(affectionate)

Woah… so maybe she’s been drugging Sam… the plot twists…

“What are you doing?” Casual, normal child. “Niki-ihita?” (he is ten seconds away from saying nagini i know he is) “What are you doing?” *one eye closed because 🤭🤢*

Luke and Sam working through plot while AJ casually sways in the background examining Luke and Sam’s stagecraft- not a care in the world just :) 

“Who is making you do this- *luke comes out a lil* come on!” Luke really wants you to pick up on the cues that he and Tom dropped about the wife being evil Sam please XD

“I’m.. making me do this.” NO! Luke is done lmaooo “Its your w- your wife-! Your fucking wife!” “Oh sorry!”

Luke’s dismayed head shake and look over at Aj like “what???” oh no damn he actually says it aloud- “are we watching the same thing???” flabbergasted by sam’s lack of picking up his cues lmaooo

“Accountability-” what is that sam we’ve never heard of it theres always a villain. “Yeah its my wife! *done eye roll and shrug* also!☝️ my teas been tasting funny for months!” don't make it sound like a duh moment now sam cmon! XD

Oh shit so i was kinda right she’s drugging everyone. I didn't think one person was given that much medication but maybe she’s been hoarding or smth idk

“Do you ever wonder why you and my father have the same name?” Luke please don't tell me they’re related in some way. I am loving this plot point fixation because of a mistake but seriously where is this going….

“Es verdad.” -that means “Its true” 

Oop he says it too “that means “its true” in spanish.” comes to the front of the stage like fucking dora the explorer lmaoo

“Bambino.” excuse me Sam why are we switching up nicknames at this time? Sighhh

Everyone just wants to slap everyone today huh lol

“I was never sick.” “UAHH! [shooketh sam]” he remains shooketh for quite a second gotta say love the commitment

“I gave him a magnetic sewing needle-” not this again😭 *horrified sam* “and i put a huge fucking electromagnetic [... magnetic what luke…] behind the head of his daughter!” 

“You have been a curse on Don Juans! All the Don Juans in this town!” How many are there???? Also Luke just evilly going “Yeeeees!!” is amazing

“I am the lady of a thousand Don Juans.” fantastic quote

“Time to sew this story up.” the puns are flawless this time around

“We really have to finish the show…” Sam is exhausted poor baby

Evil Luke: *shrugs* so it finishes with the villain winning!! Mwuahahah!

AND SCENE!!! Wooo that was a wild ride but it was a fun one. Honestly these just keep getting better every time i watch a new one(even though they get progressively older but shhh) each one is just amazing. Anywho see yall next time(hopefully next time is sooner than this time was) byebye!!!

@Dawn-speckled @Snek-of-eden @bewilderednobody @scattered-stardust