#HIT ME HARD AND SOFT

[karaeilishh]

𝜗𝜚 don’t smile b. eilish . . .

a/n — oh i love desperate billie 🙁

smut

you swallow hard before taking a deep breath and opening the door, taking a few steps forward. the faint scent of expensive alcohol fills your lungs before you can even spot a single familiar face in the crowd of strangers laughing and having fun under the dimly lit fluorescent lights. 

you smooth the fabric of your cream-colored dress a few times, checking that none of the bows have come undone while you were on your way here. 

a few curious glances turn to you before you hear whispers. a sickening feeling makes your stomach drop, putting an uncomfortable pressure on your entire body. it takes some effort to move forward through the crowd. although, it would be better if you stayed there. 

your heart clenches painfully when your gaze falls on one of the couches against the wall, where an achingly familiar figure is sitting. long black hair, baggy jeans decorated with incomprehensible patterns. a cap, as always, with the peak backwards. she even dared to wear the shirt you gave her. and now that shirt was being clung to by another girl, sitting in her arms.

you probably would have even been able to walk past her calmly, if a lump of nausea hadn’t risen in your throat when a pair of sky-blue eyes pierced your heart with sharp daggers. your fingertips began to shake.

billie’s face contorted in weak surprise as guilt filled her heart. she shifted slightly, no longer keeping her hands on the blonde and nervously tugging at the hem of her short. as if it would change what you saw a few seconds ago.

“hey, beautiful.” an unfamiliar female voice pulled you out of your painful thoughts, making you turn your head towards a tall, slender brunette holding a glass of expensive champagne in her hand. her fingers fluttered over the bare skin of your shoulder before she leaned in too close.

you couldn't see billie's eyes, but you could definitely feel the capillaries in her eyes about to burst from anger.

"can i buy you a drink?" her voice was soft, drenched in fake tenderness that immediately pushed you away. unlike billie, you weren't going to make her jealous or anything like that.

you gently placed your hands on the stranger's chest, gently pushing her away from you. your eyes followed her face before you apologized and told her that you weren't interested in meeting new people. thankfully, she wasn't pushy.

your head turned towards the large christmas tree decorating the spacious room, so you didn't see how quickly and desperately billie jumped up from the couch, almost running towards you to grab your hand and lead you into the nearest empty room. she gently pushed you against the wall before checking that all the other doors were closed.

"billie.." you take an awkward step forward, trying to calm your wildly beating heart, threatening to fly out of your chest. she looks at you with desperate eyes, taking a few more steps until you are centimeters from your body. lips almost touch, breathtaking.

"please, don't say anything" her nose flutters over your neck, only a few seconds before her lips touch your soft skin. she whimpered from the taste, lowering her hands to your waist, then pulling you to her, feeling you even through the layers of clothes.

"i live by thinking about us" her lips trace your collarbone, leaving a small bite, not causing any discomfort, but making you sigh, feeling how painful it becomes to breathe. “it’s the only thing that can make me smile” your hands fall to her shoulders, sliding higher up her neck, making you desperate to feel her beneath your fingertips as you pull her closer to you. 

“don’t smile because it happened” you whisper softly, desperately, but every inflection of your voice vibrates in her ears, making her mouth go dry. billie straightens up now, looking into your eyes with a forbidden desire that eats her up from the inside. tears threaten to roll down her cheeks. “cry because it’s over”

she purses her lips, leaning forward to press her forehead to yours. hands meet between your bodies, fingers intertwining, clinging desperately to each other. you wanted, craved, starved. it was higher and more complex than normal human feelings.

lips breaking in a passionate, fiery kiss, filling your hearts with love and pain at the same time. memories of how she held this girl, how she let her cling to her, like she really belonged to her. it wasn't true. you both knew it.

"you supposed to think about me every time you hold her" your voice turns cold, putting like a hundred pounds on her heart. she kneels down, not caring at all about the bruises that will remain after.

she doesn't even have to touch your body for your hand to fall down, tugging the cap off her head and tangling your fingers in her long hair. she gives in to the grip, slightly lifting the hem of your dress to cover your thighs with wet kisses, running her tongue over the milky skin.

"your name on my tongue, even when i call her" the confession makes your insides give in to anticipation, throwing your head back against the wall. your breath catches as she slowly, almost physically torturously, pulls your underwear down your legs, holding your hand as you step out of it.

like this is all happening for the first time again. like she's touching your body like this for the first time.

"billie..." a heavy sigh as she gently places your leg on her shoulder, her cheek pressing against your bare thigh, making you shudder in anticipation. your head was spinning, a knot already forming in your stomach, just from the sight of her beautiful face between your legs. she was your girl.

fingers dig deeper into her hair as she slowly runs her tongue along your slit, collecting the wetness that formed just from missing her. she moans at the taste, desperately clutching your waist to bury her face between your thighs.

her tongue works fast, hitting all the sensitive spots and making you moan into your palm. she knew your body better than you did. only she could make your chest feel this way. only she.

"please, look at me.." her voice is muffled by your flesh as you look down, moving your hand to wipe a few tears from her eyes. billie sighs in relief, not taking her mouth away from your sweetness for a second more.

your heel scrapes her clothed back, only igniting a new flame between two needy bodies. billie loved your scratches on her strong back, your little hickeys on the underside of her neck. anything to make everyone know that she belongs to you. her heart, mind, soul, and body. all yours.

her lips wrap around your clit, which is the final point, causing you to arch your back, pressing your pussy even harder against her face. your eyes roll back into the back of your head. your fingers hold her hair tightly. your juices drip down her chin, onto her t-shirt.

“damn..” your body goes limp, but billie rises in time, hugging you tightly. her arms hold you securely upright before she sits you down on the nearest surface, handing you your panties with a playful smile. “can you handle this yourself, princess?”

butterflies flutter in your stomach at the nickname, but you simply giggle and return the item of underwear back to your body. “thank you,” the voice is quiet, intimate. billie kneels, resting her chin on your thigh. her gaze is piercing again, loving. she is so in love with you.

"don't wanna be without you" she whispers, making that sad face that made you melt every time. your fingers reach for her hand, gently wrapping around it. billie helps you up, an arm around your waist, before your body is in her arms.

"your girlfriend will see us"

"you're my girlfriend"

tags — @chrissv4mp, @hkkuugu, @sweet3nerrr, @krosep, @stonerfromlesbos, @loveyoumatthewbernard, @47lake @ohdoyoustillcry, @bilsdillldough, @n0vabug, @bxllxebxtch, @hopingforgoodblogs, @meliciousmel13, @mybluebossanova @sturnsmia, @maafe19 @amara-eilish @tativi @ifwdominicfike @drunkinyourbenz @sturnl0ve

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 9

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- Hi lovelies! I know it’s Wednesday, but yesterday was New Year’s Eve and I was busy throwing ass so I didn’t post. LMAO I will still be posting another chapter tomorrow (Thursday) as regularly scheduled though! 🤍

BPOV

“Billie, you wanna stop anywhere for food? It’s getting late and you barely ate lunch.” My mom walked over to my bunk, where I had been laying for the past 10 hours. I felt like shit all day. Mostly from the hangover of a lifetime that I was experiencing, but also from the things I said last night.

I shook my head, removing one of my AirPods. “Kinda nauseous.” I mumbled as she climbed in with me. I nuzzled my head into her arms.

“Have you heard back from Remy yet?” She asked, looking at my phone with me as I scrolled through tik tok.

“She called back but I didn’t answer.”

“Why not, honey?”

“Because…” I trailed off, not knowing exactly why. “She didn’t say goodbye.”

“Billie… Finneas told me about your fight last night. Don’t you think you were a little hard on her?” She said softly.

“I’m always putting her first, mom.” I locked my phone, setting it to the side. “She’s so unhappy there and she’s prioritizing it as if it were her dream job. I don’t get why she never listens to me.”

“I know that she’d never ask you to set your job aside… and she’d never ask you to leave what you love for her.” She looked at me with those wise eyes. The type that had seen all of the seasons of life, including mine.

“I know. But she’s not doing what she loves. I want her to do what she loves, here, with me.” I sighed.

“What do you think she loves?” She grabbed one of my cold hands and warmed it up in hers.

“I know she loves… film… directing… she loves to write scripts… and journaling.” I began to smile subconsciously. “She’s so creative, it’s like you opened Pandora’s box when she gets her crazy ideas.”

My mom nodded, letting me finish before commenting. “I think you love her so much, that you want her to achieve all of her dreams, just like you did. But do you remember when you danced? And you wanted to be a dancer?”

I nodded.

“And then you broke your growth plate, and you never danced again?”

“Yeah.”

“Look at you now. You’re a singer, songwriter, and you’ve been all over the world with Finneas… and everyone knows who you are. And everyone loves you. And have so many awards, you can’t even process it.”

“I know, but mom-“

“Honey, you love what you do. And you love that you make such a difference in all your fan’s lives. But you had no idea it would be this different back when you were dancing in that little studio.”

I shrugged.

“You didn’t. You couldn’t have imagined. It’s a whole different reality that you’re living, sweetheart. Sometimes you can’t see different perspectives when you’re in your own point of view. It’s so difficult to see beyond your own horizon… But you know what you did know?”

“What.”

“That Remy would be your biggest supporter no matter what. She cheered you on when you danced and she cheers you on to this day.”

“I know.”

“Honey, you gotta talk to her. She probably feels just as bad as you do. You both said things you didn’t mean.” She kissed my forehead.

“I’m mad at her, mom.” I stood my ground.

“Have you thought about the fact that you might just want to stay mad at her so you don’t have to miss her?”

It made sense when she said it out loud. What didn’t make sense is that I did miss her. I’m angry at her and want her here with me all at the same time. No closure, no hug goodbye, no apologies… the way I left was so unsatisfying. I wanted to hold her and tell her I’m sorry, while she probably apologizes even though she didn’t do anything wrong. It was mostly me. But I was mad at her, regardless. Because she wasn’t here, and it was easier to be angry, than be sad.

“I’m gonna get some sleep.” I put my one AirPod back in, grabbing my phone again. She kissed my forehead again and climbed out of my bunk.

“Let me know if you need anything, baby.”

I nodded, turning to face the wall. I drafted up texts to Remy, hovering over the send button, but deleted each one. As much as it hurt to think, I figured she didn’t want to hear from me.

This morning, I woke up at Finneas’ house, where he and Claudia repeated what I said to Remy.

I’m not going to lie, I cried for about an hour before getting on this tour bus when I realized Remy wasn’t coming to see me. I didn’t blame her, but at the same time, I would’ve gone to hug her goodbye no matter what she said to me.

I mean, I only want what’s best for her. All I ever do is look out for her. If she would only listen to me, she’d be so much happier. It’s soul crushing, every time she rejects my advice, my help… It feels like she’s rejecting me. And oh my, how it crushes my soul when she rejects me.

The truth is I’d do anything for her. I’d buy her a house, pay her parents enough each month for them to stop asking her for money, and bring her with me everywhere I go. I’ve asked her a million times to be my videographer, photographer, or anything at all she wants to be on tour. She refuses to accept money from me. She gets mad at me when I buy her expensive gifts, even on Christmas or her birthday. In a way, I loved that about her. I loved that she didn’t take advantage of me, or anyone else. I loved that she was a giver, but I wanted to give her more than she could ever imagine. The fact that she never lets me, hurts, even though it makes me respect her more.

God, I want to call her, tell her I’m sorry, and fly her out to Quebec so I can meet her there. But, I won’t. Because, she clearly doesn’t need my help, or my advice, or…. me. She said it herself, I’m a shitty friend. If I’m such a shitty friend, why am I the only one with her best interest in mind? I wasn’t trying to control her, or tell her what to do with her life. I was trying to help her reach her goals.

I wish I hadn’t drank so much yesterday. I wish we could’ve just gone to her apartment, spent our last night together in comfy clothes, eating snacks, and watching our show. I wish she had asked me to sleepover, so she could wake me up once or twice from tossing in her sleep, as she usually did around 2am. So I could cover her back up with the sheets she always kicked off, and feel her throw her leg over me, instead of all her satin-cased pillows.

I wish we hadn’t fought. I wish I would’ve kept it to myself. I wish I hadn’t said most of the things I said, in the way I said them. I felt nauseous thinking about how she might be feeling right now.

My thumbs lead me to her contact, hovering over the call button. But I stopped myself each time, feeling rejection and pain once again. Eventually, my eyes gave up the fight between them and my brain, sending me into a restless sleep.

♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡

About 12 days later, we performed in Newark, New Jersey.

“Dude, you were incredible out there! You don’t even need us!” Finneas hugged me backstage, properly greeting me. He came out to surprise me, and the rest of the audience, for a few songs in the setlist. I was ecstatic.

“I missed you so much, brudder! Thank you for coming.” I squeezed him, swaying side to side. I couldn’t contain my excitement.

“Are you kidding? I had to. I miss touring with you, this sucks.” He laughed. “How’ve you been?”

I let go and took a sip of my water. He sat on one of the seats, giving me his full attention.

“I’ve been okay.” I say, knowing whenever I have any free time at all, I spend it sulking and overthinking about what could’ve been. Touring is my favorite thing in the world, yet when my mind isn’t occupied by planning or rehearsals, it goes back to the same night.

“Let me rephrase. Have you been able to talk to Remy at all?” He shifted in his seat, crossing one leg over the other.

“No. I, uhh… I haven’t.” I shook my head, sitting next to him.

“Billie, it’s been like two weeks…”

“I know, I know. It’s just been so busy, and I’ve been struggling to even find the words- I just don’t have the time. I feel like it’s one thing after the other these days. I’m tired all the time, and when I have a couple days between concerts I just fall into this weird headspace.”

“Are you doing okay?”

“No. I’m not. I’m so happy when I perform. And then when it’s over it’s like I come down from this extreme high and it feels so anticlimactic.”

“That’s because you have no one to share it with.”

“That’s not true! I call you, and mom and dad all the time to-“

“Not the same thing. You know what I mean.” He tilted his head.

“Can we not talk about her please? I missed you I want to hang out.”

He nodded, “Yeah. Let’s go get some food.” He stood up and put an arm around me as we walked out.

At the restaurant, we ate and caught up. He showed me videos from his tour, and I did the same. I miss having him on tour, but no one could be more proud of him than I am.

Inevitably, the topic of Remy came back up, as I slid through my camera roll and came across a picture of us.

“Billie… we gotta talk about this.”

I slumped back into the booth, grabbing a French fry and munching on it.

“I don’t think you remember everything about that night, bro.” He propped his elbows up on the table and rested his chin on his hands.

“I know, I was an asshole, and I need to apologize-“

“Well, no. There’s more to it.” He squinted. I furrowed my brows, listening attentively.”

“I didn’t want you to feel like- I thought you remembered but I’m questioning now if you even do…” he rambled. I didn’t really know what he was talking about. The last part of that night was such a blur. It was my first and only black out I’ll ever have.

“What is it?” I shook my leg impatiently. I wonder if this was the reason she hadn’t texted me at all since I left.

Finneas looked at me like he didn’t know what to say. He struggled to find the words, making me more nervous by the second.

“Finneas… What did I do?” I asked him, my heart beating fast.

[lavenderhazebabyxo]

WHAT THE FUCK

[espuor]

𝗉𝗁𝗈𝗍𝗈𝖻𝗈𝗈𝗄⠀⠀( ⠀𝗌𝗈𝖿𝗍⠀𝖼𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋⠀)⠀⠀𝗩

𝖿𝗈𝗍𝗈𝗌⠀⠀ 𝗩 엘⠀⠀ 𝟣𝖾͟𝖺⠀ ⠀♡ ⠀ ⠀𝟣𝟧𝟤𝗉

𝗄𝗂𝗆⠀⠀𝗍𝖺𝖾𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇𝗀⠀⠀𝗂𝗌⠀⠀𝗆𝗒⠀⠀𝗋𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗂𝗈𝗇

𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗍⠀⠀𝗇'⠀⠀𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍⠀⠀✿

𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗇𝗒⠀ 𝖺𝗇𝖽 ⠀ ☕ 𝖼𝗈𝖿𝖿𝖾𝖾͏ ͏ ͏ ᯇ ͏ ͏ ͏𝗌𝖺𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗇𝖺

𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾,⠀𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾,⠀𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾⠀𖬺 ♡⠀𝖾𝗌𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗈

͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

𝖵𝖤𝖱𝖲𝖤𝖳ㅤ ㅤ⸝ㅤ 𝖯𝖠𝖦.ㅤ ㅤ𝖡𝖨𝖮𝖦𝖱𝖠𝖯𝖧𝖨𝖤𝖲ㅤ ㅤ+

bios of Taehyung, Sabrina Carpenter, Lisa and Billie Eilish on their new songs.

𝖻𝖻𝗒⠀ 𝗂'𝗆⠀ 𝖺⠀ 𝖱𝖮𝖢𝖪𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖱⠀⠀⋆⠀⠀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝖺

𝗅𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗌𝖺⠀⠀⠀ 𔗌⠀⠀⠀ รัก⠀⠀⠀ 𝗆𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 ♥︎

𝗈𝖻𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌⠀ 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁⠀ 𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖠⠀ ✩⠀ 𝖱𝖮𝖢𝖪𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖱

𝖧𝖨𝖳 𝖬𝖤 𝖧𝖠𝖱𝖣 𝖠𝖭𝖣 𝖲𝖮𝖥𝖳 · 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟦

𝖡𝗂𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖺 𝖥𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 [ 𝖡𝖨𝖫𝖫𝖨𝖤 ]

𝖢𝖧𝖨𝖧𝖨𝖱𝖮｀ 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗎𝗂𝗌𝗁⠀𝖺𝗇𝖽⠀𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌

[chrissv4mp]

bring that over here , BILLIE E.

summary: when billie sees you come out of the shower, she can't hold back her crush on you anymore.

pairing: bsf!billie eilish × bsf!fem!reader

warnings/topics: smut, dom!billie, sub!reader, fingering, praise, begging, pet names(mamas, baby, good girl, pretty girl, etc.), oral, restraints, blindfolds, etc.

a/n: first billie one-shot, gimme ur thoughts🙏

wc: 2.6k

"call me back when you get here," billie said, finger tapping on the back of her phone as she looked up at the ceiling of her living room.

"i will, see you in a little, bills." you replied, smiling even if she couldn't see.

before you could hang up, billie's voice came through your phone again, and you put the device back up to your ear.

"wait, wait! i forgot to tell you that i got you somethin'." the girl spoke, sitting up straight on the couch before resting her feet on the coffee table.

your eyebrow raised, and you laughed nervously, "what? you really didn't have to, i'm just sleeping over for a few days. did i do something?"

billie smirked, "nope, just wanted to get you something. you work so hard and barely ever treat yourself, y/n."

your cheeks flushed, eyes flicking between your floor and the kitchen counter, "thank you."

"no problem, mamas." your smile faded at the nickname, face turning redder by the second.

it wasn't like that was the first time she's called you by that name. it was just that it had such an effect on you, and you had no idea why.

"see you later," billie muttered before she hung up.

the doorbell rang, and billie quickly got off the couch and went over to the front door. she smiled when the door opened, revealing you.

"hey," the black-haired girl said, leaning down to give you a hug before moving to the side to let you in.

"i missed you," you replied, looking back at her, placing your backpack beside the couch before sitting down.

billie hummed, lockint the door before walking over to the couch and taking a seat next to you, "i missed you, too."

"and that's why i got you this," the girl exclaimed, grabbing a white box from off the coffee table and giving it to you.

your smile widened as you grabbed the box, carefully opening it and revealing a necklace that had your initial on it, "oh my god, thank you so much, bills!"

she nodded, smile wide, "of course, y/n,"

"lemme help you put it on?" billie asked, reaching out for the necklace in which you gave it to her.

you turned your back to her, and billie gently moved your hair over to one of your shoulders, her cold touch making you shiver slightly.

billie bit her lip, noticing how soft and clear your neck was. she just wanted to mark your skin, make you hers.

she carefully clipped the necklace together, before scooting back as you turned to look over at her again.

"it looks great on you, mamas," she complimented, eyes traveling further down your body, going unnoticed by you.

your cheeks flushed again, looking down at the floor, nervous as you felt her gaze on you.

"thank you," you muttered, a small smile on your face.

"billie!" you called, and the girls head quickly went up from her phone as she got on her feet.

"yeah?" she yelled back, tucking her phone into her back pocket and making her way over to the hallway to hear you better.

"could you get my towel? i forgot it when i got in here. it's on your desk chair." billie hummed in response before making her way up the stairs to her room.

after she made her way back down, she knocked, towel hanging over her forearm as she waited for you to crack the door open.

you opened the door slightly, leaving the smallest space so billie could slip the towel through, and as the black-haired girl looked up, she froze.

her face flushed a light pink color, and her tongue peeked out to wet her lips at the sight of your body in the mirror. she could only see the top half of you, but she wasn't complaining.

your tits were on display, and billie couldn't help but stare. sure, she'd seen them whenever you two went to the beach together, but now they weren't covered.

your wet hair was still falling over your shoulders, some strands sticking to the wet skin of your neck. you looked unreal, and billie couldn't help but bite her lip.

"are you there?" your voice had the girl jump slightly before quickly slip the towel through the gap, her eyes moving down to the floor.

the door closed, and she wasted no time in walking back to the living room and sitting down in her spot again.

her phone wouldn't satiate her boredom anymore. she felt like only you could in this moment of time.

billie groaned, throwing her head back against the couch in frustration. she swore you did that on purpose. why else would you open the door that much?

maybe she was overthinking, but then again, you knew she had a crush on you. she didn't even try to hide it, and yet you still didn't care.

i mean, who wouldn't want billie eilish obsessing over them?

the creaking sound of the bathroom door caught billie's attention, her head turning to look over at you.

you stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but your towel wrapped around your body, your now dry hair falling perfectly over your shoulders.

the blush on your best friends face was noticeable from where you stood, now, and you couldn't help but smirk.

your smirk widened as you watched her stand up, making her way over to you with a pout clear on her face.

she stopped in front of you, closer than intended, before she spoke.

"what game are you trying to play, y/n?" billie asked quietly, tilting her head to the side.

your eyes stayed on hers, arms crossed over the front of your chest to hold up your towel, "i don't know what you're talking about."

her lips upturned into a small smile, taking a step closer to your half-naked body. you could feel her breath on your lips.

billie's eyes went down to your lips, her breathing shaky from how close your two bodies were.

her hands stayed at her sides, not wanting to be the first one to give in, "oh, i think you do,"

"you're teasing me, trying to get me to break," she muttered, tongue peeking out to lick her lips again, "just tell me what you want, y/n."

your eyes moved to her lips, staying there for a while before your eyes found hers again.

exhaling shakily, you grabbed the collar of her shirt, pulling her body flush against yours, "i want you, billie."

she opened her mouth in a silent gasp, shock flashing over her features before she finally leaned down to kiss you.

you smiled into the kiss, feeling her hands on your waist through the fabric of your towel. billie sighed, running her tongue across your bottom lip, asking for entrance.

your lips parted, and the black-haired girl quickly dipped her tongue between your lips, exploring your mouth and whining.

she was the first to pull away, chest heaving up and down from breathlessness as she stared at you with lust-blown pupils.

"you're so fuckin' hot." the girl confessed, knees almost giving out just from the way you looked at her.

"and you're by far the best kisser i've ever met." you whispered, looking up at her.

she nodded with a smirk on her face, "yeah?"

you hummed in approval, grip on her collar loosening, "go upstairs, i'll be there in a minute."

the black-haired girl didn't think twice, following your orders as she quickly made it over and up the stairs to her bedroom.

she grabbed a hair tie from her desk, putting up her hair before sitting on the desk chair, waiting impatiently for you to come through the door.

billie bounced her leg as she heard the stairs creak, eyes fixated on her halfway open bedroom door.

she gasped quietly as she watched you open the door, your naked body on full display for her to see. her face flushed red, getting out of the chair and walking over to you.

her hand landed on your bare waist, and you shivered once again at her cold hands. her free hand went to close and lock the door before she pushed you against it.

her clothed body was flush against yours, and the feeling of the fabric of your bestfriends shirt rubbing against your chest made your nipples harden.

a whimper escaped your throat, lips parting slightly as you stared up at billie, "need you,"

the girl almost groaned at your confession, instead inhaling sharply before going to tease you, "how bad, baby?"

"s'fucking bad, bills.." you whined, hands going up to tug at her collared shirt.

her hand landed on yours, stopping your movements as she gripped your hand harshly. she finally got to touch you after all the time she's waited.

"well, you can wait a little longer, yeah? go sit on my chair for me." billie demanded softly, stepping back to let you walk over and sit.

she bit her lip, walking over and kneeling in front of where you sat, "so pretty, baby."

you sighed impatiently, moving to spread your legs and show your wetness to your best friend, "please."

the black-haired girls breath hitched, her pupils almost completely covering the light blue irises of her eyes.

"fuck—just, wait, stay here." billie exhaled, getting off her knees to go to her closet.

you listened to her, waiting on the chair for her return. when she did come back, you felt her presence behind you.

"put your hands behind the chair, y/n," she muttered softly, and you obeyed her, moving your hands so that they were resting behind you.

you felt the girl tie your hands together with a soft ribbon, and your eyes rolled back just at the thought of being restrained whole she touched you.

her hands left yours, and then she came into view again, walking back in front of you and getting on her knees.

she didn't even ask this time, knowing what your answer would be just by staring into your eyes before pulling your legs apart and tying each of them to either leg of the chair.

the ribbon was blue, of course, that was one of the colors she was obsessing over currently. she had blue everything, and fuck, even her shirt was a light blue.

there was still one last piece of fabric in her hands, and when she went to move behind you again, you knew what it was for.

"is this okay, y/n..?" she whispered, her breath on your ear turning you on even more.

you nodded frantically as if it was the last time you'd ever get to do this, and billie chuckled quietly before beginning to put it around your head.

your vision was completely black now, and you squirmed around in the chair out of excitement and nervousness.

"made me wait so fuckin' long.." you heard the girl grumble before you felt cold hands on your thighs.

"i should make you wait longer.." a pout showed on your lips, and you threw your head back softly with a whine, "but i'm nicer than that, and i want to taste you s'bad."

billie went silent, and you would've thought she left the room if it wasn't for the feeling of her breath on your chest and her weight on your lap.

you gasped as you felt her lips wrap around your nipple, her tongue swirling around the hardened bud.

her hand went to your other breast, toying with your nipple as she worked the other with her mouth.

the girl groaned as she continued her movements, her mouth moving higher up your chest and leaving a trail of purple-ish marks up to your neck.

she could mark you now, she could let everyone know that you were hers now. billie sucked on the pulse point of your neck, making you squirm even more at the pleasure.

"fuck, fuck, fuck. feels s'good, baby," you moaned quietly, hands straining against the ribbon around your wrists.

as she continued the bites on your neck, you groaned impatiently, hips bucking up in an attempt for some sort of friction.

"please, baby, i need you. need you t'fuck me so good.." you begged, and billie whined at the wetness pooling in her panties at your noises.

the girl got off your lap, quickly dropping to her knees for the third time that night. this time, you felt her lips on your thighs, trailing kissing upwards and toward the place you wanted her the most.

your hips bucked up again, and this time billie pushed you down, her grip surely leaving marks. your lips upturned into a smirk as you let your best friend control your movements.

you'd never been in a situation like this ever, and billie being one doing this to you made it all the more pleasurable.

"shit," you gasped, feeling the girls tongue run along your clit and then your entrance.

she dipped her tongue into you slightly before pulling back and repeating her motions.

after a few minutes of her torture, you heard the girl huff and then felt 2 of her fingers slip inside of your entrance.

"fuck!—billie, oh m'god," whines and whimpers fell from your lips, and you swore your wrists were white with how hard you were tugging on the ribbon.

the black-haired girl smirked as she watched you squirm, your chest rising and falling quickly, "doin' so good, pretty girl."

her fingers curled as soon as she was knuckles deep inside of you, making you let out a pornographic moan at the feeling.

she chuckled as she continued fucking you with her fingers, leaning down to wrap her lips around clit and suck harshly on the swollen bud.

billie was sure she would get noise complaints sometime tonight or tomorrow morning, but she didn't care. all she cared about was getting you off right now.

"m'gonna cum!—please, please, please lemme cum, bills..!" you begged, the rest of your sentence coming out as incoherent babbles.

she smiled around your clit, her fingers speeding up and ignoring the ache in her wrist.

her lips left your clit, and she licked them, groaning audibly at your taste, "cum for me, mamas, c'mon,"

just from her words, you came with an especially loud moan, eyes feeling like they would roll to the back of your head from the pleasure.

"s'good, such a good girl for me, baby." the girl praised, eyes fixated on the way your chest rose and fell with each breath you took.

as you came down, billie carefully pulled her fingers out of you, moving to stand up, "open."

you listened to the girl, opening your mouth and feeling her fingers rest on your tongue. you quickly lapped at them, licking then clean of your juices before she pulled her hand back.

billie took off the blindfold and restraints before helping you onto the edge of her bed to sit again.

"how was that, mamas?" she asked softly, stroking your cheek with her thumb as you rested on her clothed chest.

you only nodded, feeling incapable of speaking after the high you just came down from.

she smiled, laughing softly before kissing your head.

"so, i don't know if you know, but i'm interested in more than just bring your friend, y/n." she teased, and you laughed.

"actually shut the fuck up," you playfully nudged her shoulder before pulling her in again.

a few moments of silence, and then you spoke again, "i'm also interested in being more than just your friend, bills."

tags: @cindylcuwho @livialifesblog

[hometobeer]

boyfriend billie eilish 𓆩♡𓆪

[vi-steponmeplease]

THE HILLS

REQUEST: billie filthy smut pleaseeee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairings - fwb!billie x fem!reader

genre - smut

synopsis: as the rules of your casual friends-with-benefits arrangement with billie blur, one night in a hotel room becomes a turning point neither of you expected.

tw: domtop!billie, subbottom!reader, praise kink, strap (r!receiving), light choking, hair pulling, situationship/fwb.

word count: 1.2K

found out i was comin', sent your friends home keep on tryna hide it, but your friends know

⟡

i only call you when it's half-past five the only time i'd ever call you mine

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

You're not entirely sure how it led to this moment—your back arched, face buried in the pillows to muffle your cries of pleasure, eyes rolling back as waves of euphoria overtake you.

Her hips ram into yours with rapid, intoxicating thrusts, her hands exploring your body—one gripping your hip firmly while the other threads through your hair, tugging your head back and forcing your spine to arch even deeper.

"Fuck, you feel so good."

You're not even sure you heard her right—your ears have been ringing for the past ten minutes. Nevertheless, you don’t really care what she said, as long as she keeps doing what she’s doing. Your body moves on its own, writhing in ecstasy, while your mind drifts helplessly in a sea of pleasure.

Your skin glistens with sweat, a testament to how long the two of you have been at this. The last thing you remember is calling her from the analog phone on the nightstand, telling her to meet you at the hotel where you’re staying.

This has become a bit of a routine for you both—whenever one of you feels needy, you call the other for a discreet hookup. It’s nothing official, so you’re forced to sneak around, careful not to get caught by her fans.

Her navy strap is one you've grown unbelievably accustomed to, just like the feeling of her calloused hands roaming your body, never neglecting a single inch.

"Billie, fuck!" you gasp, her groan vibrating in your ear as her body presses tightly against yours, her thrusts growing sloppier. Her breasts press firmly against your back, drawing a guttural moan from deep within you. "I'm close, so close—" Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth as your hand flies up to grip the headboard, desperate for something to ground you. "Please."

Billie curses under her shaky breath, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you even closer, her hips driving into you with relentless force. Her pace quickens, her face contorting in pleasure as the strap hits her just right.

"Please what?" she grunts, her free hand cupping your left breast, squeezing just enough to elicit a whimper before sliding up to wrap around your neck. The cold silver of her rings contrasts starkly with your hot, sweaty skin.

You almost want to beg her to slow down—your pussy throbbing from the punishing rhythm—but you're too consumed by the moment, lost in the delirium of her fake cock filling you so perfectly.

"P-Please, faster," you manage to whimper, your lips parting as tears well in your eyes. You bite down on your wrist, trying to stifle the desperate sounds spilling from your mouth, but she quickly moves your hand away. She wants to hear—no, revel in—the pretty noises you make for her.

A breathy moan escapes her lips as she inches closer to her own release, her hands gripping your hips tightly to steady herself while her pace grows more frantic. "Such a good fucking girl," she breathes, her sultry tone alone enough to send you spiraling. "You take me so well."

You’re not sure how the two of you haven’t received a noise complaint yet, given how long this has been going on—though what feels like hours is probably closer to forty-five minutes.

Billie’s hand trails down your body, her skilled fingers finding your sensitive clit and stroking it with practiced precision, drawing out another throaty moan from your parted lips. Before the sound can fully escape, her free hand clamps over your mouth, only to slip her thumb past your lips. Instinctively, you wrap your lips around it, your tongue grazing the pad of her thumb as she watches with a smirk.

Instinctively, you push your hips back, grinding against the silicone cock in a silent plea for more—for her to fill you so completely that it drives you to scream her name until it echoes through the room.

Sensing your impending release, Billie suddenly pulls out, flipping you onto your back with practiced ease. She pushes your legs up, your knees pressed against your chest, before slamming into you again without hesitation. The new angle sends shockwaves through your body, arching your back and pulling even louder cries from your lips.

Her thumb finds your clit again, rubbing in fast, deliberate circles as she watches you squirm beneath her. She mentally savors the sight, basking in the knowledge that only she can undo you like this.

Part of your arrangement had been to avoid talking about any other hookups during your downtime, but truthfully, Billie hasn’t been with anyone else since this began. No one gives her the same electric rush that you do. And though she’d never say it out loud, she’s certain no one else can make you feel the way she does—and maybe, just maybe, she’s a little proud of that.

Your hands slide up her damp chest, squeezing her breasts before trailing behind her neck to pull her closer. She doesn’t know exactly what compels her to brush her lips over yours—a kiss that’s both needy and tender. It catches you off guard; you’ve never kissed her before. Ironic, considering all the other obscene things you’ve done together, but kissing always felt like crossing a line into something more intimate.

But right now, you couldn’t care less.

Your fingers thread through her hair, brushing it out of her face as your lips move in perfect sync. The kiss is charged, igniting a spark that sends a shiver down your spine. Not only is she amazing at fucking you, but, God, she’s an incredible kisser too.

A familiar knot tightens in your stomach, making you grind down against her desperately. A moan escapes her lips, and that’s your breaking point. Your back arches off the bed as your orgasm crashes over you in waves, leaving you gasping for air.

Billie watches you unravel beneath her, and the sight alone sends her over the edge. A loud groan rips from her throat, her usual care for discretion abandoned as the walls of the hotel room bear witness. Slowly, she pulls out, leaving you with an aching emptiness that only intensifies your sensitivity. She collapses beside you, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggles to catch her breath.

"Fuck, that was..."

“Intense?” you finish for her, a breathless chuckle escaping as you sit up, wincing at the soreness in your legs.

“Something like that.” She climbs off the bed, removing the strap before making her way to the bathroom. Pausing at the door, she glances back at you, her pink lips pursed slightly. “You wanna rinse off?”

“Together?” you ask, eyebrows knitting in confusion. She responds with a shrug and a simple nod before disappearing into the bathroom. Curiosity and the promise of warm water drive you to follow her.

Aftercare from Billie isn’t something you ever expected. It was never part of the unspoken rules of your agreement, a dynamic that thrived on boundaries and the title of “friends with benefits.”

But something feels different—like a rope has snapped inside her, loosening the rules she’d held so firmly. Because right now, in this fleeting moment, you’re not just a casual fling.

You’re hers.

[stonerfromlesbos]

✦ make it worse. | b.e

warnings: smut, oral, strap usage, hair pulling, tit sucking (all !r receiving), degrading, spanking, brat !reader, brat tamer !billie, mentions of safe word (not used), jealosy, billie being sweet at the end.

summary: how you should react to that? some random girl calling your girlfriend ‘mommy’ right in front of you, after weeks that billie hadn’t fucked you properly… well, maybe you ill had to tease her until you get what you want.

“baby please, i have to get ready to enter the stage in a few minutes.” billie said as you two were cuddling on the dressing room couch. your legs crossed on both sides of her waist, holding her sides tightly. “im gonna miss you so much.” you said with your usual whiny dramatic tone, making a pout face.

“is just one show… you will be watching it in your usual vip spot tho, ur already being privileged, my girl.” she says giggling and kissing your forehead softly. her fingers go up to your head, caressing your hair gently. the ‘my girl’ never failed in getting you flushed. “let me be selfish, bills.” you said with a pout face again, she just smiled gently at you. billie loved the way you wanted to be glued with her 24/7. she gave you multiple fast kisses, getting up and entering the box she was transported in.

the show was starting now, you could hear all the fans screaming and shouting at billie while she sang. her voice was almost angelic, she sang all those lines with all her heart. billie couldn’t stop herself of looking at you, no, she looked at the crowd, but at you? she boldly stared. those lines at her song ‘lunch’… she was almost singing them just for you. at many moments you cried, hearing her soft voice sing the most beautiful lines in the world.

but one in specific was your favorite, when the party is over. and it was a big moment in her show too, you felt so proud remembering that you gave her the idea of synching the vocals, she didn’t thought it was going to work because of the silence but it did. and it was fucking beautiful everytime. when she was preparing herself, she started her usual speech.

“guys.. i need you to be quiet right now.” she said and shortly after you could hear a girl screaming from the crowd, and it just made your blood boil. “yes mommy!” the girl said, clearly kidding, but after that billie started giggling. she was fuckin’ laughing at that, in front of you? it wasn’t a big deal, but, your blood just boiled, knowing that other girl called her that, and she fucking thought it was funny.

you would usually think it is funny too, but after she dragged you into a tour and almost refusing to fuck you, you were almost insane. billie didn’t want to take a night off to pay an hotel to be alone with you just because all of you were going to give the first tour break in like, 3 days. you were trying really hard to fight the urge of fucking her every single night, but this? this was too fucking much. as soon as the show ended, she leaded you towards the backstage.

“hi my angel” she said gently, holding your waist and walking with you by her side towards the dressing room. “hi billie.” you answered in an raspy tone. giving a clear hint that something wasn’t okay. “what happened?” she says closing the door behind her, looking at you with true concern. “you tell me, laughing at those fucking stupid things.” you didn’t look directly at her eyes, crossing your arms, you were acting childish, but you couldn’t help it.

“its because of that? seriously?” she said in misbelief, giggling getting closer to you, holding your waist. you still refused to stare at her, those goddam eyes, the smirk you could feel on her face, it was all to much. you took her hands out of you, going towards the other side of the room. sitting on the couch and going through your socialmedia, completely ignoring her.

“ignoring me huh?” she said standing in front of you, grabbing the phone from your hand and lowering herself to make you stare at her. her hair was messy and down now, but her black liner was still perfect. billie’s eyes just drowned you into them, it was some sort of magical power. “js showing you what you should’ve done with that girl.” you said raspy, staring at her with a nonchalant face, trying to hide how bad you wanted to make her take you right there.

“stop bein’ a fucking brat, you know damn well it was a joke.” she said with a serious tone, but you knew her. she wasn’t being serious, she wanted you to misbehave. just with that phrase you knew, she was going to fuck you tonight. “maybe i wouldn’t be if you just fucked me like you usually did, now im here, having to watch other girl call you ‘mommy’ while the ‘mommy’ here is just an lazy bitch.” you said trying so hard to not smirk, it was kind of your game… you would push her to her limits, until she was fucking you brainless.

“you’re such a slut, are you even hearing yourself right now? you can’t stand not being fucked by a week? maybe i will gift you a fucking vibrator if you need to cum that bad all the time.” she said mockingly, smirking at each word. “maybe i wouldn’t need a vibrator if my girlfriend wasn’t so incompetent, why im even dating you if you can’t make me cum properly?” you said getting up, staring at billie, getting closer trying to intimidate her. as she just grabbed your arms tightly. “i can’t make you cum? you are really sayin’ that?” she says with an smirk, you knew that you reached it, you made her mad enough.

billie’s hands were now grabbing your hair, not in a gentle way. she forced you to sit on the couch as she refused to kiss you. “gonna show u what i can do, slut.” she said almost ripping your tank top off, now staring at your exposed tits. “no bra?” she said sliding a hand underneath your skirt, and realizing that you were not wearing nothing underneath. “no underwear? desperate slut almost begging to be fucked.” she said in a low teasing voice. “stop being a fucking bitch and do it.” you said smirking and looking at her eyes, the next thing you felt was a harsh slap across your face, as billie grabbed your chin and pulled your face closer to her.

“fuckin’ behave, this is not going to end well to you, so you might as well don’t make it worse. keep this up and ill edge you all night, not letting you cum even a single fuckin’ time. understood?” she says with a even lower voice. staring deep at your eyes, you knew she was serious, because she already did that. and it was fucking hell on earth. she slapped you like thirty times just because you touched your clit. “yes..” you said giving in, in a more fearful tone.

“already tamed? weak slut, can’t stand the thought of not cumming huh?” she said mocking you, smirking as she layed down, giving her lap gentle pats. you understand the signs and go to sit on it, straddling her sides. billie’s hands quickly find their way to your skirt, lifting it up to exposed your bare ass. you try to kiss her, but she puts you away. “if you act like a slut, you get treated like one.” she says grabbing your ass tightly, feeling your soaked cunt starting to grind on her crotch. “fuckin’ stop that, sit on my face, now.” she demanded you, as you started going up. finally fitting the lower half of her face in the middle of your thighs.

“you’re dripping baby.” she said before entering your needy hole with her tongue, and after that, making her way to suck on your clit. you could feel every way she flicked her tongue on your sensitive spot. you covered your mouth with your own hands, trying not to scream in pleasure right now. it was not a fucking hotel, it was an dressing room, and you knew that all her team was on the room beside this one.

“taste s’ good, mamas.” she was fucking devouring you, like she was a starving beast. you could feel your hips grinding billie’s face as you were almost cumming. she could feel your insides tightening around her tongue, and then, she stopped. “do u really think im goin’ to let u cum this easy? after all you did?” she smirked giggling as she took your hips off her face, getting up of the couch and grabbing her bag.

that fucking bag.

billie took two straps out of the bed, one black and one red, you were used to the red one… but the black? that one was new. your eyes widened as you saw the size of it, it was fucking huge. “what do u wanna take first? huh? the black is 9 inches and the red is 7,5.” you were so fucking screwed, you were sure it wasn’t going to fit inside of you. “9 inches??? bills… i can’t take that.” you said with genuine concern.

she opened an gentle smile. “but you will.” her smile started to turn into a smirk. “ill get you prepared to it, and if it really is too much, you know what do to.” she said refearing to your safe word. you knew she wasn’t ever gonna do something to hurt you, so you trusted her. now she was unbuckling her belt and placing the red strap on her, getting closer to you again. “face down, ass up.” you obeyed her without questions, getting on the position she demanded you to.

"such a good girl." she says placing the faux cock on your folds, teasing you. you kept quiet, whimpering as you were being teased... it turned billie on, but she wanted to hear you. she harshly slapped your ass cheek. "are you behaving because you´re a good girl or a needy slut who got tired of acting up, huh?" she says chuckling, and grabbing a fistfull of your hair, pulling your head back. "don´t get cocky, you know i had to act up. or else you would keep me here insatisfait... then maybe i could write a song just like "over now".." you said giggling, mocking her, she kept quiet, but you still decided to hum the lyrics of her song.

"It's not that complicated"

"I wasn't satiated"

"You weren't that bad, just lazy"

you were so focused on humming the lyrics that you couldn´t realize that she was placing her cock right on entrance with the hand she had free. billie slammed her whole cock into you, making you unable to continue teasing her. she was rough, but she didn´t want to hurt you. after slamming her faux dick on your insides, she kept it there for long seconds, making you get used to it. after that, her pace was brutal. you could tell that she just kept quiet in that moment for you to burn yourself even more, and give her an excuse to be even rougher with you.

"never gonna tease m' like this again, mama." she almost growled as one of her hands holded on your waist as the other slapped your ass in a way that you knew that you´d be all sore. you tried your best to keep quiet, failing miserably. in a stupid attempt you shoved your head into the couch cushion, trying to muffle your moans that were coming out as almost screams of pleasure. "im gonna teach u a fuckin' lesson, cock addicted slut." you just whined, your whimperings being muffled by the cushion. "such a fucking whore, only able to behave with my cock filling you up, huh?" she mocked you, but you were unable to even form a sentence.

billie could feel your insides tightening around her, and then, she pulled it out, not letting you cum. you whined, with your legs trembling. "do you think you deserve to cum that easy huh? pathetic slut." she says as you turn yourself to lay on the couch and stare at her. she walks towards the bag again, taking the 9 inch strap from there and handing it to you. "you want to cum with wich one angel? do you think you can handle that one?" she spoke softly, with genuine concern not wanting to take it too far. "yes... i think i can bills, jus' let me be on top.. okay?" you said looking up at her with your usual sweet eyes. "whatever you want, angel." she said giggling "seems like i fucked the bratiness out of u so easily, huh?" she chuckles, taking the dildo from your hands and strapping it onto her crotch.

billie sat on the other side of the couch, because you made a mess on the other one. "come here angel." she pat her lap, as you crawled towards her, now straddling her sides. she holded you by the waist, pushing your sore body towards her. she gently caressed your cheek, pulling you into a slow and soft kiss, that just turned you on even more. you broke the kiss after she started to play with your neglegted clit, not being able to be quiet anymore. her skilled finger just played with it slowly, it felt like a torture. her half lided eyes just staring at you with a smirk on her face. she stopped, not wanting you to cum just yet... she took her strap and took your hips up, placing it on your entrance and staring at you, with both of her hands.

"whenever you´re ready, angel." she said as you took a deep breath and started to lower yourself in her cock. "so good baby, you´re doing such a good job." you managed to get half of it inside of you, taking another deep breath. "if you want to stop, just say the word, okay?" she says remembering you "i-im okay.." you say with your shaky voice, lowering yourself slowly until your cunt hits the base of it. "such a good girl, taking all of me." she says kissing your neck, and then going down to your exposed tits, sucking on it briefly as you are getting used to the size. "can i see where im at?" she asked and you nodded, allowing her. one of her hands started press a few places on your belly, until she saw the bump that were on your tummy, smiling knowing she was that deep inside of you.

you started moving yourself, riding her, it was slow. she helped you with your moviments, holding your hips and guiding you. "doing so good for me baby, so good." at this point, you were already in a fast pace, riding her cock as you got used to the size, it hit your g spot just right. your moans were increasing, so you took your hand to cover your mouth. she was staring at you, admiring how pretty you were while fucking yourself on her cock, how pretty you sounded being filled with her. "wanna hear you, mamas... don´t worry about them, you can fuckin' scream if u want to." she says grabbing your arm and putting it down, you soon took both of your hands to the sides of the couch, leaning on it to help you move, you were so fucking loud.

the room was filled with sounds, the sound of billie´s cock being shoved into your drooling cunt, of her sucking your tits, or even the wet sound of her playing with your clit... but it was clear that the loudest one was of you moaning, whining, screaming while being filled by her. "you´re so gorgeous fuckin' yourself on my cock, such a angel." your walls tightened around her faux dick as your moviments slowed down due to your now tired hips.. "i-im so close, can you help me.. bills?" you say staring at her with your tired eyes "don´t even need to ask me twice." she grabbed your hips, pulling you up, as she started to pound you in that position. she wasn´t gentle, but she didn´t hurt you. "gonna cum huh? gonna let you cum now, such a good slut." she mocked you, trying to get back to her dominant self. her pace was fast, hitting your g spot over and over again.

but she ended you in the moment that she stopped holding your hips with one hand and started to play with you clit again. in that moment you could feel your orgasm hitting you in one way you never experienced before. your whole body was trembling, as you were almost unable to moan. her pace slowed down, letting you ride through your orgasm in a way that you felt like you were on heaven. "can i pull it out already, babe?" she asked you, bringing you back to earth after pulling you onto the edge of pleasure. you nodded, as she gently took it out of you. holding on your waist gently while she pushed you closer to kiss her.

billie kissed you slowly, letting yourself rest after all she put you throught. "you know that you´re the only one, right my love?" asked you.. "i know." you answered it in a lazy tone. she quickly took her phone, texting someone. "what is it?" you ask "gonna take you to a good hotel tonight okay? gotta take care of you now, prepare yourself, gonna to spoil you all night baby.." she said in a soft tone "really huh?" you said giggling with a wicked smirk "gosh not in that way... you´re so naughty sometimes... can´t be a good girl even after i had railed you?" she says slapping your exposed ass again. "so no naughty spoil?" you said in a playfull sad tone.

"only if you can take it, my love."

taglist: @chrissv4mp @karaeilishh @iluvapplesxh @hkkuugu @bilsdillldough @n0vabug @certifiedwomenlover @dollyvuu

[userbillieeilish]

BIRDS OF A FEATHER (2024) Billie Eilish

[drunkinyourbenz]

IF YOU'RE GONNA LIE, DO IT IN MY BED

☆ SYNOPSIS: billie kept lying to your face, but when she looked at you like that, you didn't really have it in you to care. you did, however, have it in you to push her further by being a brat. ☆ PART TWO ☆ RELATIONSHIP: dom!billie eilish x fem!bratty!reader ☆ WARNINGS: SMUT, mean billie (oops), reader is a tiny bit pathetic, bratty reader, situationship/fwb, angry sex (kind of?), crying, established safe word (not used), strap-on, oral on a strap-on, deepthroating, gagging, oral, overstimulation, squirting, degradation, praise, petnames (pretty girl, baby, ma, etc.) name calling (slut, whore, brat, etc.), choking, hair pulling, humiliation, dumbification, billie is so condescending in this, toxic dynamic. ☆ NOTE: sorry babes i've been totally off the grid, writing this when i should be studying calculus lmao!! this is long as hell i'm so sorry i got carried away 😭 title from the song ‘guess we lied…’ by fletcher. this is oxytocin billie at her finest btw!! also situationship/fwb billie has me in a chokehold !! also i'm on my period rn lmaooo ☆ WORD COUNT: 4.8k words

you’d been in a friends with benefits situation with billie for roughly the past four months, but you’d known each other for far longer. billie was too busy for a proper relationship, so the past four months had been all hotel rendezvous and stolen kisses, but no real commitment.

billie would always fuck you better than anyone else could, and you'd be left alone in a cold and empty bed the next morning. she knew how to treat a girl, that was for sure, she was just emotionally unavailable. she needed someone who didn’t need her to actually be present in their life, just there for a good time when she felt like it. 

of course, that was where you came in—you and the countless other girls she had wrapped around her finger. there had been many girls throughout the years, but rumour had it, most of them were gone after less than a month. that knowledge gave you an addictive feeling of importance, something that kept you coming back for more. you might mean nothing to her, but you meant more than the others did. 

you’d planned to meet up today, but billie was late—of course she was. 

she’d been at a party—of course she had. 

chances were, she’d been out fucking one of the many other girls she had totally entrapped in her siren-like charm—she told you that you were her favourite, but you weren’t sure you believed her. she probably told every single girl she fucked that, she just happened to keep you around for longer than most. 

so she stumbled into the hotel room she’d told you to meet her in, forty five minutes late, a resting frown on her face as she kicked off her shoes upon entering the room. you look up from where you sat on the bed scrolling your phone, raising an eyebrow. 

“late again, where were you?” your voice didn’t sound accusatory, simply curious, but you were accusing her of something, and she knew it. 

she shrugged casually, her face still set in that slight scowl. “a party, it’s not important.” 

she was clearly in a bad mood, but you didn’t really have it in you to care. her bad mood was no excuse to leave you hanging for almost an hour. you laughed dryly. “next time, just cancel. i don’t care if you don’t want to see me, that’s fine. just don’t leave me waiting here for you to show up.” 

billie rolls her eyes slightly, through her eyes, it genuinely didn’t matter, and it was irrational for you to be this annoyed. the two of you weren’t dating, she did this with so many other girls, you weren’t special. “god, you’re so dramatic. it was just a party, it’s not a big deal.”

you let out a soft scoff, “i don’t care that it was a party. just let me know next time so that i don’t sit alone in an empty hotel room for almost an hour looking like an absolute loser.” 

“i meant to get here on time.” 

“don’t lie to me, i know that if you mean to do something, you do it.” which was true. if billie actually wanted to do something, she found a way to do it. 

billie raises an eyebrow, “you’re being a brat.”

you bite back another scoff, but can’t stop yourself from snapping back at her. “and you’re being a bitch.”

something seemed to change in billie’s eyes then, one of her eyebrows raising as she took a few steps towards you. you almost instinctively took a step back, a reminder of the control she had over you even when you were trying to be mad at her.

her eyes were a fraction darker than they had been before, her sharp blue eyes fixated on you as she kept waking forward, backing you towards the hotel bed without even touching you—that was the power she held over you. 

“i’m being a bitch? hm, interesting. you don’t look like you think i’m a bitch, you look like you want me to fuck you.” her voice was smooth and level, but there was a sort of harsh bite to it, a warning, foreshadowing for what was to come.

you couldn’t even deny it, not really. you wanted to deny it, but she was right. you did want her to fuck you, despite how little she clearly cared about your feelings right now. 

she took a step closer again, and you felt the back of your knees hit the mattress—you hadn’t even been aware of stepping that far back. she watched you closely, a calculating look in her eyes.

“so? you gonna say it, or what? i know you waited around for a reason.”

again, she was right. why else you have waited around for almost forty five minutes? no one fucked you like she did, and you could tell she knew it, from the smug smirk that always painted her lips when she was fucking into you with her strap. god, she could be so cocky sometimes, the knowledge that she was so incredibly hot was a little too powerful for her. 

when you thought about it, it was kind of pathetic that you’d actually waited around for forty five minutes. like, who does that? why had you sat alone in the hotel room, waiting for her in the silence? why hadn’t you walked out after twenty minutes and gone to the party where your friends were probably drunk off their faces—the party that you had skipped because you already had plans. plans with billie. 

you’d waited around for forty five minutes, and you knew full well that you weren’t going to get her to have a mature conversation. so, you concluded, you might as well make the wait worth it, and let her fuck you. and if you were going to get fucked, it might as well be good. 

so, when you spoke, you kept the slightly snarky tone. “obviously, why else would i have waited around for so long?”

she saw the bratty look in your eyes, and her eyes darkened further. she clearly wasn’t in a great mood, and needed a way to blow off steam—your brattiness was giving her exactly that, an outlet. she huffed, grabbing your jaw tighter as she stared at you. she pushed you so you fell onto your back on the bed, landing with a slight impact on the soft mattress. she crawled on top of you so she was straddling your hips, one of her hands coming to wrap around your neck, pressing down to give you just the right amount of pressure. it was a warning, but you weren’t at all worried. 

“watch your fuckin’ tone, ma. and don’t look at me like that. you’re a brat today, aren’t you?” 

you caught the slight sparkle in her eye in reaction to your attitude, which just pushed you further. she was enjoying this, seeing you act up. you kept the same tone to your voice, looking up into her eyes as her ring-clad hand pressed down on your neck.

“well, i think i deserve to be a brat, after being left hanging for almost an hour.”

she pressed down slightly harder on your neck, her nails digging into your skin slightly and her eyes narrowing as she held your eye contact. 

“is that really how you want to play this? don’t act like you didn’t wait around here like an obedient little slut for that whole hour.” 

you could’ve sworn you felt your brain falter as her words went straight to your core, because when she talked like that, you always melted a little bit inside. you couldn’t find any quick smartass comeback this time, but you didn’t want to look even more pathetic by fumbling for a response you weren’t going to find, so you simply rolled your eyes.

at your eye roll, she pressed her lips together slightly, “where’s the good girl i normally get to fuck? hmm?” she said those words as if your bratty attitude is somehow displeasing to her, but you knew for a fact that it was the opposite. she loved when you were like this, it gave her an excuse to be rougher, meaner. 

“guess i’ll just have to remind you how to behave, won’t i?” 

the hand on your neck snaked around to the back of your head, where she took a fistful of your hair in her hand and tugged roughly at it, sending a stinging sensation to your scalp. she used the hand she was pulling your hair with to angle your face upwards, so you were looking right up into her eyes. you held the eye contact, an almost challenging look in your eyes as you spoke again.

“maybe you should. might wanna hurry up with it, though. getting bored here.” that was a blatant lie, you were not bored, and you could listen to her degrade you like you were her slut for hours, but you wanted to push her. you wanted her to be unable to resist fucking you hard. no matter how good the other girls she’d fucked at the party were, you would be better, and you were sure of it. you had to stand out somehow.

your words did indeed have the intended effect on billie, and she let out a scoff, giving your hair another harsh tug as a reminder that she was in charge. 

“watch that fuckin’ mouth, sweetheart. it looks better when it’s being put to use.”

that, of course, was the perfect opening for another bratty remark, and you were too deep in to resist winding her up now. “well, i don’t see you putting it to use, do i?” 

and… that was it. you could practically see something in the wiring of her brain change as she snapped. “that’s it,” she breathed out, her grip on your hair tightening as she climbed off you, pulling you off the bed and pushing you to your knees on the floor in front of her in an instant. 

“you really can’t learn to shut your pretty little mouth, can you? you know, you’re a lot prettier when you shut up.”

she was unbuttoning her pants as she spoke, and you could see the bulge of her strap-on underneath the clothes. within moments, her pants were discarded on the floor, revealing her signature long red strap. for how long she’d spent on the back and forth teasing, she sure seemed to be in a rush now. her hand returned to your hair, gathering it in a makeshift ponytail, harshly tugging your head back to an angle that worked for her. 

“you’re also a lot prettier on your knees, so gorgeous f’me.”

those words were misleading, almost soft. when she spoke again, her voice was raspy as she looked down at you with that harsh look in her eyes. “my fuckin’ slut. gonna take what i give you, and you’re not gonna complain.” 

that you weren’t, even in your bratty state, you knew you weren’t in a place to complain, on your knees in front of her. plus, you were pretty sure that you wouldn’t need to complain, not for this. you were right, when she pushed the strap-on into your mouth. you hollowed out your cheeks to make it easier to take—not that billie was at all concerned with whether this was easy for you. she wanted to make you cry, she wanted you to be an absolute mess, right there in front of her and on your knees.

your tongue swirled along the sides of the strap, putting on a show for her. she smirked, loving that she had finally shut you up. the satisfaction of seeing you no longer talking back didn’t last for long, however, and soon she had tightened her grip on your hair, holding your head firmly in place. then, she started thrusting the strap as deep as she possibly could inside your mouth.

you faltered at first, your gag reflex acting up, as always. you’d always had a bad gag reflex, but billie didn’t seem to care. after a moment, you managed to sort out the gagging reflex, but it wasn’t long before it was acting up again. you could feel the tears prickling at your eyes, as you always did when billie did this. you were convinced the only reason billie ever got you to suck off the strap was so she could see you cry when you gagged. 

after a while, you felt the tears rolling down your cheeks, mixing with the spit that had gathered around your mouth from the sheer pace at which billie was thrusting the strap into you. you let out a muffled whimper around the faux dick, and if you could look up and move your head from the tight grasp billie had on your hair, you’d see the cocky smirk painted on her face. she loved shutting you up like this, and she loved seeing the tears rolling down your cheeks. it was a reminder that she could make you into a mess like no one else ever could. 

“god, look at you. so pathetic f’me.” 

eventually, once billie was satisfied with how much of a mess you were, she pulled the strap out of your mouth, using the still-harsh grip on your hair to pull you up off your knees. she manhandled you to your feet in front of her, looking you up and down for a moment with a smirk. she took a moment to just take the sight in, your hair messy from how she’d held it, your cheeks tear-stained, and a slightly dumb, empty look in your eyes—oh, how she just adored how much of a mess she could make you. 

it wasn’t long that she spent admiring you—she was still in a bad mood, and she desperately needed to blow off some steam. pretty soon, she had crossed her arms while she looked at you closely, “strip.”

you didn’t hesitate—she was unbelievably good at stripping you of your brattiness, as well as your clothes. you could feel any stubbornness you’d had leaving your body at an alarming speed. once you were stood there in front of her in just your bra and panties, billie’s lips twitched up into a small, satisfied smirk. she placed a hand on your shoulder, pushing you backwards to the bed with ease, and you fell backwards onto the sheets and pillows that had been perfectly smoothed out by the hotel staff earlier that day—they wouldn’t be looking that flawless for much longer. 

she took a few more moments just admiring you, in front of her on the bed, almost bare. her index finger slipped under your panties before letting them snap back onto your skin with a teasing grin. her other hand moved to your bra, where she tweaked at one of your nipples through the lace, the sharp pain rushing straight to your core.

it wasn’t long before she’d manhandled you into the position she wanted—from behind, it seemed to be a favourite of hers—and rid you of your bra and panties. she lined the strap up with your entrance, and within moments, she’d thrusted the strap fully into you, not giving you any time to adjust. one of her hands circled your clit teasingly, dipping inside your pussy briefly and gathering your wetness on her finger with a smug smirk.

“so wet…that all from me throwing you around? treating you like some dumb toy? fuckin’ whore.” 

you let out an utterly pathetic whimper, and she chuckled darkly as she thrusted into you roughly from behind, your pussy swallowing her so perfectly, so willingly—a huge contrast from the bratty display you’d been putting on earlier. her hand squeezed at your ass as she gathered your hair into a makeshift ponytail again, harshly forcing your head back. 

“mm, look at you taking me so well, so much prettier when you just shut up. moments like this remind me why you’re my favourite.” you were sure you weren’t her favourite, you were sure she said that to all her girls, but you didn’t care. you let out a moan at her words, and she gave your hair another tug in response. “so fuckin’ pretty when you let me do the thinking, baby.” 

she gave your hair another harsh pull to emphasise her next words, “dumb brats don’t need to think, yeah?”

you whined again, and she laughed, the hand that was grasping your hair moved to circle around your neck, squeezing slightly. it wasn’t enough to really hurt you, just a display of dominance—as if the way she was thrusting into you wasn’t enough to tell who was in charge. 

the metal of her rings dug into the skin of your neck as she squeezed, and another moan spilled from your lips at the feeling combined with the pace at which she was fucking you from behind. 

keeping her pace the same and her hand around your neck, she asked, “colour?” she always checked in, no matter how caught up in fucking you she might seem, she was always attentive to your signals. 

“green,” you muttered, surprised you even managed to get a word out with the amount of pleasure you were feeling.

she grinned, although you couldn’t see it, and kept pounding into you at the same harsh speed, the hand that wasn’t around your neck squeezing your ass again. then, she leaned over to speak in your ear, her body pressed against your back. her lips brushed against the shell of your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. god, she knew what she was doing. 

“still think i’m a bitch, hm?” 

you debated just not replying, but you knew that being bratty again was just what she wanted you to do—and who were you to deny her? “a bitch who’s fucking me good, yeah.” 

if you could see her, you would’ve seen her smirk widen as her warm breath fanned over your neck near your ear, and she gave your ear a teasing nip, “still a brat, i see. guess i’ll just have to fuck it out of you.”

she moved away from your ear, the hand around your neck moving back to its previous position in your hair, tugging your head back with her harsh grip. her other hand moved to your hip, holding you in place as she thrusted into you. another trail of moans fell from your lips, your hands moving to dig into the sheets of the bed. “i’m- fuck, billie—” 

she laughed condescendingly, giving your thigh a slap, and you whimpered as the pain sunk in. “mm, a bitch who’s fucking you so good you can’t even form a whole sentence, right?” 

you just cried out at her words, your hands gripping the sheets as your walls clenched around her strap, your head going fuzzy from the pleasure she was bringing you. you didn’t care how many other girls she had fucked right before she got here, not when she was fucking you this good. you were so, so close, and she could tell.

“cum on my cock, baby. wanna see you fall apart,” she gave your hip a squeeze and tugged your hair, and that was enough to push you over the edge. you came with a moan, clinging onto the sheets like your life depended on it, pleasure washing over you in the most intense waves. your eyes squeezed shut as you mumbled incoherent nonsense, “bils, fuck—oh my god…”

she grinned again, keeping up the bruising pace, which you assumed was just her helping you ride through your orgasm. but even once you’d come down from the intense pleasure, she was still thrusting deeply inside you, causing whimpers to fall from your lips. 

“bils, too much–fuck, it hurts—”

giving your hair another pull, she spoke with that same raspy voice, “i don’t care if it hurts, you’re gonna take what i fuckin’ give you, mamas. you know what to do if it’s really too much.” 

you let out a strangled cry as she kept pounding into you, the pleasure mixing with pain and creating an intense feeling of ecstasy—but she was right, if you needed her to stop, you knew what to say. but you didn’t, you just kept letting out those same broken moans as your hands tangled in the sheets. your release was gathering around the base of the silicone as she pounded into you. 

she let go of your hair, moving her hand so both of them were firmly holding your hips, keeping you in place as she fucked into you at that bruising pace. you were almost certain you would have bruises from how firm her grip on your hips was—not to mention how unlikely it was that you’d be able to walk the next day—but you didn’t care. it just felt too good, her fucking into you like this, the way she was manhandling you…

it wasn’t long before one of her hands snuck down to your clit, circling it torturously with her index finger and drawing even more desperate moans from your lips. you were embarrassingly close to your second orgasm, it couldn’t have been longer than five minutes since you came down from the last, but you could feel your walls clenching around her strap again. 

billie noticed this, of course, and you could visualise the smug smirk on her lips when she spoke. “gonna cum f’me again, pretty girl? god, you look so much better like this.” 

so, you came around her cock for the second time that night, moans falling from your lips like music. your arms were aching from holding yourself up, and you slumped down slightly, resting your head on the newly messed up sheets of the bed, a soft sigh escaping you. your thoughts were jumbled and you couldn’t pick out a single coherent thought amidst the mess of pleasure, your thoughts just a repeating mantra of billie’s name. 

after a moment, billie pulled the strap out of you, and you whined again at the feeling of emptiness that took over you. she laughed softly, a slight condescending undertone to it, before grabbing your shoulders to turn you over so you were laying on your back. her touch was decidedly more gentle than it had been earlier, but she clearly wasn’t finished with you yet. 

once you were on your back, she pushed your thighs apart and settled down between them, propping herself up with her elbows and looking up at you. her lips twitched upwards when she took in the expression on your face, you were completely wrecked—and she’d made you like that. she watched as you took deep, heavy breaths, your head resting back against the bed as you stared at the ceiling. 

“can you move up f’me? get your head on the pillow, ma.” 

her voice was almost soft, and you nodded quietly, using your weak arms to pull yourself up the bed slightly. once your head was resting on the pillow, you let out a soft sigh of relief—your neck was aching from how hard she’d been gripping it, so the pillow gave you some much needed extra support. 

she looked at you for a moment, before speaking again, that raspy hint to her voice still very much present. she seemed a bit more cautious than she had been, a lot of her frustration from the day clearly fading from how hard she’d fucked you. “i wanna taste you, baby. colour?” 

you nod softly, exhaling slowly. you were exhausted from how hard she’d been fucking you, but you needed her mouth on you. “mhm, green.” 

it didn’t take any more confirmation for her to lean down and bury her face in your pussy, her hands gripping your thighs and holding you firmly in place. her tongue licked a stripe up your slit, drawing a loud moan from you. your thighs instinctively closed around her head, the amount of pleasure she’d given you hard to bear. she tsked, giving your thigh a warning slap and firmly forcing them open again,

“stay still.” 

two fingers slipped inside you with ease, and she started thrusting them inside you at a torturously slow pace while her tongue circled your sensitive bud. the slow pace was a contrast from how fast she had previously been pounding into you, and you knew she was doing it on purpose to drive you insane. everything she did was always so calculated, exactly what you needed at that moment to make you fall apart, to make you an absolute mess for her. 

her free hand moved up to your tits, giving them both a soft, misleading squeeze, before harshly pinching your nipple between her index finger and thumb, laughing mockingly when you let out a soft cry of pain.

“oh, it hurts? hm, you’re fuckin’ pathetic, baby. such a mess.”

the sounds of her fingers inside you echoed around the hotel room, the only sound other than your moans. you were so impossibly wet, and you could feel another orgasm approaching rapidly as her fingers curled inside you, “mm, you’re taking me so well. such a good, dumb slut for me, hm?” 

your walls clenched around her fingers at her words, and she grinned, nipping at your inner thigh teasingly before returning her tongue to your clit. “yeah, my good little slut. like when i call you that, ma?” 

you moaned again, and you were coming on her fingers before you could stop yourself, your body going limp against the bed as you were hit by your third high of the night, moans falling weakly from your lips. 

billie didn’t stop her movements, her tongue moving from your clit to your pussy, gathering your taste on her warm tongue and moaning softly. her fingers replaced your tongue at your clit, and you flinched as they circled your sensitive bud. 

you let out a whine as her tongue kept up her movements, slurring out a soft protest through the pain of being so overstimulated, “bils, i can’t– ‘m too sensitive—”

she hummed against your pussy, the vibrations eliciting another moan from you. she pulled back ever so slightly to respond, but you could still feel her warm breaths hitting your clit in the most achingly pleasurable way.

 “fuckin’ take it like a good girl, know you can.” her fingers kept circling your clit. “you want to be a good girl for me, right? make up for being such a brat?” 

you nodded desperately, because yes, you wanted to be her good girl. you wanted to please her, “yes, fuck– wanna be your good girl, billie-” 

billie grinned, her tongue returning to where it had been, slipping inside you as her fingers teased your clit, “mhm, my good girl. my favourite girl.” 

you whined at the pleasure she brought you, trying not to close your thighs around her head again as they shook from the sheer pleasure of this moment. you didn’t even really comprehend her words, the way she kept throwing around the lie that you were her favourite.

you didn’t even care if you weren’t her favourite girl, being one of the girls was more than enough for you. you didn’t care how many other girls she’d fucked right before this, because you could feel her tongue coaxing yet another powerful orgasm out of you. a sob left your lips, the pleasure overwhelming you and taking over your body in every way possible. god, she was too good at this.

you opened your mouth to warn her, but all that came out was a moan as she flicked your clit with her finger, and the dam broke. your head fell back against the pillow as liquid gushed out of you, soaking her chin and the sheets below you. 

she eagerly lapped at it, and you let out another strangled whine, your hand reaching out to her head. your fingers tangled in her hair, trying to guide her off you. your things were shaking, your skin tingling, your body drenched in sweat, your mind foggy.

it was too much, the pleasure becoming too overwhelming. you’d have told her that if you could form words, but she took your signal and dragged her mouth away from your pussy, pressing a few soft kisses to your inner thigh. 

“mm, look how messy you are, mamas. such a messy slut, all for me?”

you whined softly as she pressed kisses to your trembling thighs, “all for you.”

she grinned up at you smugly from where she lay between your thighs, her eyes raking over your face and body. her smile widened as she took in just how wrecked she’d made you, your hair messy and your body limp and exhausted, paired with the marks that were already appearing on your hips and neck from her harsh grip. she found you unbelievably gorgeous when you were like this, and she gave one of your thighs a teasing squeeze. 

she had fucked the brattiness out of you, just like she’d said she would. 

“see, baby, what did i tell you? so much prettier when you’re not being a brat.”

[karaeilishh]

୨ৎ mine – yours b. eilish

“such a good fucking girl..” she emphasizes every word as her strap rams into you at a brutal pace. she’s mixing your organs with all nine inches, turning your insides into mush. “taking me so fucking good.”

the grip of her hand on the back of your neck would leave bruises with the force with which she’s pressing your face into the mattress. there was literally a puddle of your tears beneath you, running so pathetically down your cheeks. “b-billie..”

you want to tell her to slow down because it’s too much, but your whining makes her growl and fuck you faster, faster, faster. “my perfect baby, if only you could see yourself.” her voice is husky, quiet, so seductive and broken by the speed of her thrusts. "fuck, angel, i'm yours.."

these words caused an instant reaction from your body: a dumbfounded look and an orgasm that was building with even greater force. these words were a hundred times sexier and intimate than a regular "you're mine". her fingertips traced the bottom of your stomach to apply enough pressure to feel how deep her cock was inside you. feral feeling. "tell me whose i am. tell me that i belong to you, baby"

her request made you almost die, clenching around her cock. it took at least three tries before something that even resembled a sentence fell from your lips. "you.. you're mine—billie, you're only mine!" you cried, whined, whined, greedily swallowing every inch.

"so good for me.. now cum for your girl'"

tags - @chrissv4mp, @hkkuugu, @sweet3nerrr, @krosep, @stonerfromlesbos, @loveyoumatthewbernard, @47lake @ohdoyoustillcry, @bilsdillldough, @n0vabug, @bxllxeb, @hopingforgoodblogs, @mybluebossanova

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 10

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N - Hi guys! Like and rb!! it means a lot ! I post a new chapter every Tuesday & Thurs! Check out my masterlist

***

BPOV

“Finneas… What did I do?”

“Nothing, Billie. It’s not something you did. Remy wasn’t even there. It happened when we took you back to our place.” He reassured me. I could tell he was being careful with the words he chose.

“Okay? I know I was saying a lot of rude things. Did I hurt your feelings? Or Claudia’s?” I asked, concerned.

“No, no it was nothing like that, Billie.” He shook his head. “Actually, you were telling us some really personal things… About how you feel.”

My palms began to sweat as I took a sip of my drink.

“I don’t know why you didn’t come to me about this earlier, dude. And, I’m not necessarily surprised, just wish you’d told me sooner.”

“Finneas what did I say, please tell me.”

“A lot, actually… At first, while Claudia tried to help you change into pajamas, you kept calling her Remy, and nonstop apologized to her…” he tilted his head back and forth as he spoke. “And I don’t know if you remember, but at one point you were crying inconsolably. You told me how much you loved Remy, that you wanted her to love you back the way you love her.”

I swallowed hard and for a second I forgot how to breathe.

Finneas continued, “You went on and on about how badly you need her, how far you’d go to keep her in your life. Like, Billie, you never told me how much you liked her. I always had a feeling in the way you look at her and the way you protect her… but I thought maybe that’s just how you guys are. I wish I would’ve known, I would’ve been there for you.”

“What else was I saying?” I asked, quietly, trying not to be soft.

“You begged me to tell her to come lay with you. And when I told you she was already asleep, you tried to leave and go to her. I had to fight you for the keys, dawg, and Claudia had to hide them from you. She hid your phone too so you wouldn’t drunk dial her.”

I rubbed my forehead, closing my eyes and shaking my head.

“You told me you’d lose her if you didn’t stay, and you wanted to cancel the tour too. When I finally got you to stay in bed, I tried to calm you down, get you to drink some water. Then, you ran to the toilet to throw up, and on the bathroom floor you told me how badly you messed up. How you wish you’d kissed Remy at the party, before anything else happened.”

I groaned to myself, leaning back into the seat.

“You said you wanted to keep her safe, and make her happy. That she’d be happier with you, that you wanted to give her the life she’s always wanted… Billie, I haven’t seen you so desperate, so devastated in so long. And you can’t just make realities for other people. That’s not- That’s a whole other conversation we need to have. Are you sure you don’t remember any of this?”

“I don’t remember any of this. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause so much-“ I cleared my throat feeling anxious for some reason. “You said you already knew?”

“I knew you had feelings for her, I just didn’t know you knew. I thought maybe you were figuring them out, not that you were hiding them for so long.” He shrugged. “Like I said, I wish I knew sooner. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, dude.”

My eyes trailed off, staring out the small diner window. My heart kind of dropped. I didn’t feel embarrassed or anything like that. It bothered me how badly I wanted to suppress these feelings for so fucking long. For years, I just wanted to stop feeling so intensely. When it came to Remy, I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had built, or mess up the dynamic we had locked down. I knew she’d never feel this way about me and it broke my heart.

“No… I- I’m sorry, I didn’t want anyone to know. I wish I didn’t want her like that. I didn’t want to say it out loud and make it true. I wanted to just believe I loved her like a friend. We’re best friends, it’s so dumb.”

“Billie, why? What’s wrong with it?” He held his hands out in disbelief.

“She’d never feel the same way about me. She’s not into girls.” I shook my head.

“Has she ever said that? Like actually?”

“I mean, no, but she’s never really dated women. She doesn’t really date much at all. She just has really short phases where she talks to guys but they never work out- It doesn’t matter, because it’s never going to happen. She can’t find out, Finneas. I don’t want to lose her as a friend.”

“Lose her? You haven’t even talked to her in two weeks, Billie. You keep swearing up and down that you’re angry, when you know you’re just so deep in your emotions you can’t fathom the fact that she’s chasing something else. You’re hurting, but she doesn’t even know she’s hurting you. You’re not being transparent with her. Stop masking the problem.”

“I need to focus on this tour. There’s no time to-“

“No, dude. Because you’re miserable and I know it. You guys have never not talked. Not like this… Billie, you’re pushing her away from fear that your feelings won’t be reciprocated. And trust me, I get that, I do... But this whole attacking her for taking her own path is not okay. I know you have good intentions, and your heart is in the right place, but you’re hurting the girl you love the most. And I know you know that.

“Finneas, I am mad, I am hurt.”

“You’re not mad because she’s a hard worker, you’re not mad because she’s chasing that job she’s already put so many fucking hours into. You’re mad and you’re hurting because she’s not dropping everything to be with you. You’re hurting because you can’t be the whole reason she’s happy or fulfilled, and you want to be.” He spoke gently, but matter-of-factly. “You rather her take advantage and suck you dry? No pun intended?” He stifled a laugh.

“No,” I answered, acknowledging his joke.

“No, because you love the fact that she’s independent, and unconventional… You admire that she’s self-sufficient-”

“And head-strong.” I added, “She never gives up on what she wants. When she puts her mind to something, she’s unrestrained. And she’s not afraid to be alone, which scares the hell out of me. She doesn’t need anyone to take care of her, and-“

“And you want to take care of her.” Finneas pointed out.

I nodded. He was right, about everything. Even though I hated to admit it.

“But you can’t change who she is. You know that. You have to be okay with that.”

“I know.” I ran a hand through my hair, sighing.

“You also have to be honest with her.”

“I can’t, Finneas.”

“I understand why you think that, but you’re going to ruin your relationship with her regardless, with all of this in the background.” He wafted his hand around.

“Yeah. I get what you mean.” I nodded. “Please don’t say anything to her.”

“I won’t say a word to anyone. Just please, think about it. You’re my sister and I don’t like seeing you like this. At the end of the day, I’m on your team, always. I just wanna see you happy…” He paused for a moment before continuing, “And if being just friends is too hard to do, then maybe you need to let go of that too. I can’t let you fall into a dark place, again.”

“I know…” I looked at him, reading the worried look on his face. “I’ll be okay, I promise.” I held out my pinky and he intertwined it with his.

“I know you will. I just worry about you. You can’t change people. You’d never let anyone change you. And Remy would never try to change you.” He let go of my pinky and stole one of my french fries, which were starting to get cold.

“I love you, Finneas.” I smiled, stealing one of his fries to make it even. “Thank you. And I’m really sorry for making such a scene at your house. God, what a mess. Claudia must hate me.” I shook my head, trying not to laugh.

“Bro, you’re fine. You definitely owe her one because she cleaned up all your puke. You have terrible aim, by the way.” He laughed, pointing at me.

“Fuck off! That’s terrible!” I cringed.

“Dude, it’s okay, she was just worried about you. She made me come check on you a bunch of times when you finally knocked out. She was scared you’d choke on vomit in your sleep.”

“Aww, man. You guys are the best.” I smiled. “Thank you for talking to me. And coming to see mee.” I said in my best little sister voice.

“Don’t thank me. You’re paying!” He laughed.

******

The next few days went by so fast. I couldn’t believe another week was almost gone. Tonight, I’ll be playing Madison Square Garden in New York City, one of my favorite places to perform. I looked out the window of my hotel, watching the people walk swiftly past each other on the sidewalks, down the stairs to the subway, and into little bakeries and shops.

Being in New York made me nostalgic. Maybe because it’s Remy’s favorite city. Some of our favorite little spots are hidden here. God, I wish she was here to visit them with me.

As I updated my instagram story, I saw a post she made recently. I tried to stay off socials for this reason alone. It was a few pictures of her bedroom, where she had removed the furniture and laid a tarp down on the floor, with blue tape to cover the antique baseboard and crown moldings. On her wall, a heavenly mural of clouds in the golden hour sky. It looked like straight out of a Pinterest photo. I scrolled to see the day by day progress she made. I was stunned, admiring the talent. I didn’t even know she could paint like that. I’d seen her sketch and paint on canvas before but seeing her art displayed on a wall almost brought me to tears.

I liked her picture out of habit, causing my heart to drop a little. I considered leaving a comment but decided against it.

I opened iMessage, and texted her directly. I typed and retyped what to say. Everything sounded stupid.

I saw your wall. It’s incredible. 10:03am

I miss you. I wish I was there. 10:04am

[pinkwinesupernovas]

just me and my emotional support blue albums against the world

[billsxmm]

Passenger princess. (b.e.)

bsf!billie x fem!reader

warnings. slight smut, not proof read. (sorry for poor language in some places.)

—————

One moonlit night, your best friend took you out to go on a ride, as you often did. it was 3AM, dark outside, only the yellowish soft, street lights coating the cars interior through the windows. some quiet music coming from the radio.

billie had one of her hands on the gear panel, and the other gripping the steering wheel. the watch on her wrist glistening a little, as she looked over at you from the passenger seat. the windows were slightly down, as the cool air breezes through your hair, as she watched you, her eyes sparkling. you were so pretty.

billie always been attracted to you, of course- you were gorgeous, but to add to it, you had the sweetest personality ever. and she knew and saw it from the first time she laid her eyes on you, even if unfortunately, that day, 2 years ago, she got to know about your boyfriend, she still couldn’t help but fall in love. she didn’t care about your stupid boyfriend.. she could treat you so much better.

and now her soft fingers gripping your thigh, going just slightly under your skirt, didn’t help at all.. she was nervous, scared to push too much, even if you two had always been touchy. but you never seemed to mind one bit. slightly spreading your legs for her hand.

billie looked at the empty road in front of them again, that shit-eating grin on her pretty face.. as she slowly moved her hand higher up your thigh. she was toying with the fabric of your skirt, so nonchalantly, if she isn’t already shaking herself.

she hit the brakes, speeding up. exactly like your heart. you loved when she went fast. you would go anywhere she takes you..

one moment, and you felt her hand reach the lace of your panties, her fingertips against your heat, as you let out that soft whimper. it was over for her. next thing you know, the car was stopped, and her leaning over to you.

“Backseat.” she whispered, her tone laced with desire, like she couldn’t wait to have you. the look in her eyes told you everything you needed to know.

Oh, this was gonna be a long night..