#HEY YO THE LAST CHAPTER SONG IS CALLED NIGHT SPRINGS

[the-kipsabian]

[yuujispinkhair]

The songs you grow to like never stick at first (Chapter 5)

Chapter 1 ++ Chapter 2 ++ Chapter 3 ++ Chapter 4

Falling for your best friend is a blessing and a curse at the same time, especially when it’s painfully obvious that your friend doesn’t feel the same. So what is Yuuji supposed to do? He doesn’t want to lose you but also can’t help wanting to get out of the friendzone. Maybe his other friends can help him. Or he just has to wait because sometimes the songs that become our all-time favorites are the ones that don’t stick at first.

Pairing: Yuuji x Reader (female) Genre: College AU, fluff, my attempt at humor, friends to lovers Word Count: 3.5k Playlist: College AU Warnings: 18+, slow burn, a lot of cheesiness, pining, unrequited love in the beginning, alcohol, masturbation, sex dreams. Cheating (but NOT Yuuji or reader!! Naoya cheats on reader). All characters are of age. The story and my blog contain 18+ content, so minors don't interact. 

Chapter 05: A rivalry goes so deep between me and this loss of sleep over you (Part 2)

The weeks pass. You are in romantic heaven with your boyfriend. And Yuuji is in heartbreak hell, with dark circles under his eyes and the emotional baggage of the frontman of an emo band.

He's officially a member of the boxing club now, spending more and more time at the gym to let his anger out on the punching bag that he calls Naoya in his mind.

You keep telling Yuuji about your dates with the Zenin heir, oblivious to the pain it causes him. He has to put a stop to it though the moment you start talking about your and Naoya's sex life.

"Can you please not?!! I don't want to know these things!"

"Hey, that's not fair! You tell me everything about your bedroom adventures too, Mr. Too much information."

Yuuji throws up his hands in exasperation. He knows you are right. Unfortunately, he seems to lack that gene that is responsible for feeling ashamed, so he always goes into too much detail anytime he shares his sex tales with his friends. Guilty as charged.

"Ah, dammit! But that was ages ago!! I haven't even had sex in months!"

"And maybe that's the problem! You need to get laid, Yuu!"

You have a point. But the problem is that the only person Yuuji wants to get sexy with is you. But, of course, he can't say that, so he just makes an incomprehensible noise and changes the topic.

He is relieved when a few weeks later, you pull a face while stirring your iced coffee listlessly, sighing as you rest your chin on your hand and announce:

"Naoya has to go on a business trip. He's leaving in an hour, and I already miss him. Those gonna be the worst three days!"

No, that's wrong! Those are going to be the best three days if you ask Yuuji!

He feels energetic despite his lack of sleep and the physical exertion from last night's boxing training. This is great! The sun shines brighter all of a sudden, and his coffee hasn't tasted this good in months!

Yuuji can't help but smile while walking next to you, accompanying you to your first class of the day, just like he does every morning. There's a new spring in his step now that some of the weight got lifted off his shoulders.

An hour later, when he's sitting in acting class, waiting for his turn to portray a Yakuza leader, the guilt catches up with him. He shouldn't feel happy about your annoyance that your boyfriend is away. He's a horrible friend!! How can he smile and celebrate the fact that you miss the guy you are in love with??

Yuuji is on the brink of punching himself and only gets saved from making an absolute fool of himself because his name gets called for the next performance.

Half an hour later, he walks out of class with loud praise from his professor.

"Itadori, that was an outstanding performance. I could practically feel the anger! You really got into the role! Keep up the good work."

Hysterical laughter bubbles up in Yuuji's chest. It seems like method acting is his way to a possible movie star career, huh? He will have to mention Nayoa in his thank-you speech when he receives an Oscar.

He can't stop laughing all the way to the cafeteria, earning himself raised eyebrows and giggles. Yuuji just rolls his eyes when he realizes it and lifts his left hand to show some of the guys from the volleyball team his middle finger.

He doesn't have time for this. He has to find you and make sure to make the best of the next three days, where he can have you all to himself again! And after all, he is your best friend, and it's literally his job to keep you company and keep you busy, so you won't wallow in self-pity and lose your mind over longing for your man all the time. Yuuji's motives are totally pure!!

Another chuckle escapes his mouth. The mix of lack of sleep and giddy anticipation to take you to the mall and eat ice cream with you is gradually turning him into a lunatic. But Yuuji can't be bothered at the moment. He bursts into the cafeteria with a bright sunshine smile and an excited:

"Finish your tea, princess! I'm taking you to the mall!"

And the loud laugh and happy sparkle in your eyes he receives in return are even more reasons to be a bit crazy.

Three nights later, Yuuji jolts up when his phone blares loudly on the pillow next to his ear. He groans. For once, he fell asleep early. The lack of sleep finally got the better of him, and he felt so at ease after having you all to himself for three days that sweet sleep claimed him.

He was even having a particularly nice dream of you straddling his lap, your hands in his hair, while you were slowly riding him, moaning his name and whispering sweet love confessions in his ear. It was the perfect wet dream!

Until his stupid phone ruined it!

Yuuji sits up and looks around groggily. His brain is too fuzzy, but his hand finds his phone and lifts it to look at the screen. His eyes widen.

Why are you calling him at 00:13?

"Hey! What's up? Are you ok?"

Your voice sounds strange, when you answer him:

"Yuu... Are... are you up?"

Yuuji is completely alert in an instant, the sleepy confusion and the horniness gone completely. Something happened! He can hear it in your voice! Worry washes over him.

"What's wrong? Where are you?"

Yuuji's already out of bed while speaking, balancing the phone between his shoulder and cheek as he's jumping into his grey sweatpants. He has to go wherever you are! He can tell that you aren't ok, even when you didn't say it yet. You need him!

"I.. can you.. can you please come pick me up?"

"Of course! Already on my way. Tell me where you are!"

He only hears a shaky sob, and it makes his heart drop. You sound like you are crying. Yuuji is scared. Cold fear has its chokehold on him. What happened to you? He has to get to you right now!

He's stumbling over his backpack, cursing loudly, before finding his shirt from yesterday lying on the floor next to his desk. He shrugs hastily into it while listening to your thick voice giving him instructions:

"I'm downtown... you know that street corner near our McDonald's and the karaoke bar?"

Fuck. So you were with Naoya tonight? His apartment is near that location. Yuuji's worry is laced with anger now. What did that asshole do to make you cry and call Yuuji in the middle of the night? And why the hell are you out there all alone? That's dangerous! It's the middle of the night!

"I'll be there in a few minutes! Don't hang up, ok? Stay on the phone with me."

He puts the call on speaker so he can pull his red hoodie over his head, not caring how messy his hair is or that he puts on two different colored socks. All that Yuuji can think about is you!

He quickly jogs out of his room, grabbing the car keys on his way out, and almost falls down the stairs because he's struggling to put on his sneakers while running and also holding his phone in one hand.

But he manages to arrive on the street in one piece and sprints over to his car. Well, technically it's Fushiguro's car. But he lets his friends use it too because he's embarrassed about being the kid from the rich family and feels better about it if he shares his privileges.

Yuuji throws his phone into the center console as he slams the door shut and then hastily starts the car. The car audio starts blaring loudly, making him jump.

This is side one, flip me over. I know I'm not your favorite record. The songs you grow to like never stick at first. So, I'm writing you a chorus, and here is your verse!

"Oh dammit! Not that song again!"

Junpei must have used the car before him. Yuuji swears and turns the stereo off as he quickly backs out of the parking spot. He knows he's driving too fast, but he can't bring himself to care. He has to get to you as quickly as possible!

You were probably right when you joked about Yuuji being your personal knight in a red hoodie. He is so worried and just wants to be by your side and make sure you are safe. He can still hear your sniffles, and it tugs at his heart.

"I'm driving now. Hey, can you tell me what happened?"

"I... I wanted to surprise Naoya. It was stupid... I don't know. He texted me that he's back from his business trip and that he'll just go to bed and we should meet for breakfast...but I... god, I am so dumb! I thought, hey, why not pay him a surprise visit to celebrate him coming back home...I.. arrived in front of his apartment and I..."

Your explanation gets interrupted by a muffled sob. Yuuji grinds his teeth, his hands are grabbing the steering wheel in a death grip. But he tries to sound calm for you, be the safe place you need right now.

"It's ok, take your time. I'm almost there. What happened at his apartment?"

It starts raining now, and the cars in front of him slow down, making Yuuji almost lose his mind. He glares at the red light that dares to keep him away from you. It's torturous having to listen to your tearful voice telling him about your night while he is caught in the car here and not able to pull you into his arms and comfort you.

The engine howls loudly once the traffic light turns green again and Yuuji presses down on the gas pedal impatiently. Only a few more blocks!

Your voice fills the car and there's so much pain in it that it makes Yuuji's own eyes tear up.

"Naoya.. he was walking out of the door with some other woman. I... I thought maybe it was just his co-worker and nothing more. But.. but.. they kissed."

"Oh fuck!"

"He... he held her hand and smiled at her, and then he kissed her. Like a real kiss! On the mouth...and it... It was just like he.. just like he usually kisses me. I don't know what to do. I ran away before he could see me. And now I'm sitting here and crying and being a dumb bitch!"

Yuuji smacks his hand onto the steering wheel. God, if Naoya was here right now, he would get a taste of Yuuji's fist. Yuuji hates that guy! Really hates him! How can he hurt you like that? Doesn't he see how lucky he is to have you!? How can he cheat on you?

"He's such an asshole! God! Please, you aren't dumb! HE is the one who's the dumb bitch!"

Yuuji has almost reached your destination now. He spots a parking space and quickly pulls the car over, almost scratching against a tree. But it doesn't matter. Nothing matters except you! He's out of the car at light speed, jogging down the rainy street to the corner where he knows you are waiting for him.

He almost stumbles over your outstretched legs as he turns into the dark side street. You are sitting on the stairs in front of a tea shop, looking up at him with tears running down your face, looking so heartbroken and miserable.

Yuuji crouches down in front of you, placing his hands on your knees, gently rubbing them. His voice is soft and warm, talking to you like he would to a scared animal. His need to comfort you and soothe your hurt is almost overwhelming.

"Hey, I'm here. It's gonna be ok. I got you, sweetheart."

He can feel you trembling beneath his hands, from the cold or the anxiety or a mix of both.

"Yuu..."

Your voice sounds so weak. That's enough! Yuuji can't take it anymore. He reaches out with a murmured:

"Come here.."

He pulls you into his strong arms, feeling you slump against him. You sniffle and press your face against his chest as your arms wrap around him, clinging desperately to him.

Yuuji rocks you in his arms, whispering some stupid little things to you, anything to comfort you and reassure you.

"Shh, it's ok, sweetie... it's ok. You can cry if it helps you, ok? I'm here. I won't leave. I'll look after you."

It breaks Yuuji's heart to see you like this, your tears soaking his hoodie, sobbing against his chest and your fingers clutching tightly to his back.

He feels a bit helpless, not really knowing what to do, so he just does what his instincts tell him. Holding you and letting you cry, stroking your back soothingly, and keeping you tugged safely under his chin, pressed tightly against his broad chest, wrapped in his strong arms where you are safe and hopefully a bit warmer.

After a while, Yuuji feels you relaxing in his arms. Then, finally, you lift your head to look at him with puffy eyes.

"Th.. thank you for coming here. I'm so sorry for waking you up, Yuu."

"Of course, I came here. Please don't apologize. I told you I'll always pick you up, no matter where you are or what time it is. There is nothing to be sorry for."

His eyes scan you worriedly. Of course, he has seen you having breakdowns over university or when you had trouble with some girls from your dorm. But it was never anything like this. Yuuji has never seen you crying so much, and it pains him to know you are so distraught.

"Let's get you home, ok?"

You blink at him through wet lashes and nod softly. Yuuji gives you an encouraging smile and then pulls you to your feet. He cannot let go of you, though. He definitely spoke the truth when he said that he's overprotective when it comes to you. And so one of his large hands stays on the small of your back.

He sees you shivering, looking so miserable that it breaks his heart even more. Yuuji realizes that you are drenched from the rain. He doesn't even think about it but is already pulling his red hoodie over his head and handing it to you.

"Here, put that on, please. Don't want you to catch a cold."

You don't even try to turn his offer down, which means you are really a mess right now. Yuuji's chest feels too tight. He puts an arm around you and pulls you against his side to offer you more of his warmth as he gently steers you towards where he parked Fushiguro's car.

On the drive home, Yuuji can't stop himself from looking over at you repeatedly to check on you. You're leaning your head against the cold car window, staring out into the rainy night, looking so lost, hugging yourself and sniffling occasionally.

It's a heartbreaking sight, and Yuuji's need to comfort you almost drives him crazy. It pains him to see you like this! You deserve happiness and love, and warmth. Not this shit! Soaked to the skin, shivering from the cold, and crying from a broken heart.

Yuuji reaches out to put a hand on your thigh, right above your knee, gently squeezing it. He hates that he has to drive and can't hug you and keep you warm. But he has to get you home safely and make sure to get you into dry clothes as soon as possible. So his hand on your thigh will have to do at the moment. At least a little bit of physical comfort.

Your hand lands on top of Yuuji's immediately, grabbing it tightly, so desperate for his comforting touch. The car swerves slightly to the right as Yuuji's other hand clenches the wheel. He's angry, so fucking angry at Naoya for doing this to you!

But his need to be there for you and make you feel ok again is stronger than the anger. You don't need anger at the moment. You need your best friend who treats you with love and care. And so Yuuji turns his hand on your thigh so you can interlace your fingers with his, holding hands for real now.

You hold on so tightly that it's almost painful, even to a strong guy like Yuuji. But he definitely won't complain. You need this, need to hold his hand, need the comfort of your best friend next to you, and Yuuji will give you anything you need.

You drive in silence for a few minutes, just holding hands and waiting for the car heater to work.

But Yuuji knows that one of his biggest flaws is that he cannot seem to shut up and often talks before he thinks, so he isn't surprised when his mouth decides to blurt out:

"Do you want me to beat him up for you?"

"Oh my god, Yuuji! Please don't!"

"Ok, anything you want. But my offer stands if you change your mind. He would deserve it. And my right hook is really good, says my coach."

"Maybe he would deserve it, but I don't want you to get into trouble. So please promise me you won't try anything like that."

But at least you sound a bit more like yourself again, and your voice isn't as weak anymore. The corners of Yuuji's lips lift in a half-smile, and he gives your hand a reassuring, gentle squeeze.

"I won't, I promise. Let's get you home and into dry clothes. And then we'll eat ice cream and watch a movie. That's probably a better way to deal with this than going all violent, huh?"

"Thank you, Yuuji. Like, really. I am so grateful for you. When I was sitting there crying, all I could think of was, "I want Yuu here, with his broad shoulders and bright smile." You always make me feel so safe and... I sound so stupid, but you feel like home away from home. You know what I mean?"

Yuuji has to gulp hard against a lump forming in his throat all of a sudden. He feels like home to you? This is the most beautiful thing anyone ever said to him. He blinks rapidly against the sudden moistness in his eyes.

"It's nothing. I'm always here for you. Will always be. And you are my home too."

The rain is getting heavier again, drumming loudly onto the car top while the windshield wipers are doing their hypnotic dance across the car window. The street leading out of the city is pretty empty at this time of night, so the drive home is pretty serene, only the darkness of the night and the pouring rain illuminated by the car's headlights.

Usually, Yuuji is a sunshine type of guy. He loves summer and the sun and never complains about the heat. But he has to admit that there is some beauty in the rain too, especially when you are sitting in a car at night with the person you love the most in the world and they are holding your hand and visibly and audibly relaxing after having such a tough breakdown, and it's all because Yuuji is here to offer his comfort.

You have almost reached the campus again when Yuuji speaks up again, voice soft and low:

"Hey, just let me tell you this, ok? Please don't get mad. But I think you should break up with him. I know he will call you and make all kinds of excuses, and I know you are a sweet and forgiving person, but please don't listen to him. Don't go back to him, please. He's an asshole. You deserve so much better. You deserve someone who only likes you, someone who doesn't want anyone else. Someone who will never hurt you."

Someone like me.

Your answer is another squeeze of his hand and a soft:

"You are right, Yuu. Zenin Naoya is history."

You sigh and reach over to turn the car audio on, and Junpei's emo mix starts playing again. 

This is side one, flip me over. I know I'm not your favorite record.

Yuuji loses it and snickers. Why is it always this damn song? He feels like you caught him doing something naughty, listening to Fall Out Boy and screaming along to lyrics that somehow fit his personal situation all too perfectly. It sends him into hysterics, and now he really laughs like a lunatic.

But to his enormous relief, he hears a chuckle coming from the passenger seat. And then your hand is on the car audio again, and you turn up the volume and tap your finger onto the dashboard to the beat of the song.

It's the next song that makes the two of you break out into loud laughter.

Let's play this game called "when you catch fire, I wouldn't piss to put you out." Stop burning bridges and drive off of them. So I can forget about you. 

Yuuji can hear that you are crying through the laughter. Of course, you are still sad, and it will take a while for you to get over Naoya. But it's ok. Yuuji's here to dry those tears, and he will be by your side and help you make that broken heart whole again.

And at least you already have an "I hate Zenin Naoya" anthem now.

Thank you so much to everyone who keeps looking forward to a new chapter of this series! It makes me so happy when I get feedback on this story! So, Yuuji is really the perfect knight in a red hoodie, hm? For me, the answer is YES! He is so sweet. Everyone should have a Yuuji in their lives aww.

Please let me know how you liked the chapter! Comments and reblogs help me a lot!

Only one chapter left now aaaaahhhhh!!!

I added a second FOB song, "Tell that Mick he just made my list of things to do today," aka the "I hate Zenin Naoya" anthem lmaoo.

Chapter 06

[fandorkofeverything]

The Peter Parker Project: A Million Dreams Chapter Two

And, this will now be a series! There will be two more installments, and MAYBE a fourth, depending on how this goes.

/Peter's P.O.V/

"Wait…. You got kicked out of school?" Pietro asked as Jade was setting up a movie.

"And you didn't get in trouble?" Brooklyn added, sitting next to me on the couch.

"Teach me your ways, I could've gotten away with a whole lot more at your age." Megan joked, bringing over the popcorn.

"You're only a year older than me." I stated, facing her and she laughed.

"Yeah, 365 days' worth of insanity!" Megan threw popcorn in my hair and I shook my head.

"Hey! Watch the curls! I love the curls." Brooklyn got the greasy popcorn out of my hair and I blushed slightly. It's not like she's my girlfriend or anything. Nope. Not at all. Not one bit. Noooo. Never.

"Not important, back to the subject on hand," Jade smiled, sitting on the end seat of the couch. "You got kicked out, Parker. And for what?" I sighed and shoo my head.

"I corrected a teacher."

"Oooh, do spill!" Maddison exclaimed; her thick English accent clear as always.

"She had Einstein's Theory of General Relativity problem wrong. I simply corrected her, and she kicked me out of the classroom and the principle sent me home. End of story." I shrugged at that and Jade scoffed.

"There's got to be more than that, Parker." Jade glared and I rolled my eyes.

"My name's Peter." I mumbled, annoyed. Jade and I have never got along. I just don't like how she treats other people. But she doesn't have anyone else, so I tolerate her.

"Hey, how about we start the movie, hmm?" Megan questioned, shaking the remote in her hand. Jade sighed and relaxed on the couch arm.

"Fine."

"Great! Let's get this party started!" Kayleigh stood on the couch, jumped and then plopped down, earning a laugh out of me and Maddie.

Megan started the movie, and we were about halfway through the movie when Kayleigh started to get tired.

"Doesn't Sherlock look like your Dad, Brooklyn?" Megan stated, not taking her eyes off the TV.

"No shit." Brooklyn teased, with a wink.

Nobody really talked until the movie was over, and Kayleigh had fallen asleep.

"She's awful sweet for an eighty-something kid." Jade teased and I rolled my eyes, that joke obviously overused. "I'll take her to bed." Jade picked her up and carried the youngest of our group to her room.

"All of us should go to bed. We have school tomorrow." Wanda stated, taking her brother by the hand.

"Yeah. Great." I rolled my eyes, not wanting to go to the disgrace of a high school.

"Hey, soon you'll be at Seaside! No need to worry!" Megan hugged me, trying to be positive.

Except they don't know about Flash Thompson.

I've always had trouble falling asleep, but it was never like this. It was like I could hear everything in the whole world. I tried covering my ears, but it wasn't helpful. My eleven was now a fifteen. Maybe even a seventeen.

I tried to go to sleep, but it just wasn't happening. my alarm then went off and I groaned, rolling off of my bed and onto the floor.

"Karen, would Mr. Stark be mad at me if I just slept on the floor instead of going to school?"

"I would assume so, Peter. Mr. Stark knows that your schoolwork is very important for your—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it."

It was like everybody was screaming. I could hear Brooklyn and Mr. Stark from the kitchen.

"But I want tacos!"

"You can't have tacos for breakfast!"

"Well, why not?!"

"Because I said so!"

I could hear Maddie on the phone with her father.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend."

"You know what to say if someone asks you out?"

"My Daddy's a doctor and will fuck you up?"

"Maddison!"

"Sorry Daddy."

I could hear Pietro singing the sonic theme song on the treadmill. Loudly.

"Gotta go fast, gotta go fast! Gotta go faster, faster, faster, faster, faster! Moving at speed of sound! Make tracks! Quickest hedgehog around! Got ourselves a situation! Stuck in a new location! Without any explanation! No time for relaxation!"

"SHUT UP PIETRO! IT'S TIME FOR BREAKFEST!"

Wanda's scream made me flinch, as her screaming on top of my elevated senses made it worse.

I know that most of the people were just having a discussion, but it came on like a heard of wildebeests. Accepting my fate, I got dressed and went to the kitchen for breakfast. Oatmeal sounds pretty good right about now.

"Wow. You look like shit." The raven-haired girl pointed out and I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks, Jade. I thought I'd cosplay as you today." I smirked at her facial expression after I said that. just because my senses are elevated doesn't mean I can't be cocky towards her.

"Good one, Pete." Kayleigh put out her hand for a fist-bump and I did so. I have no idea how the blonde can tell where I am without her ability to see, but that will always be a mystery to most.

"Oatmeal Tuesday, right Pete?" Steve asked me and I nodded, my head still pounding like three thousand phrases were placed into my head at the same time.

"I'll be taking you to school today, kid." Natasha told me, giving me my oatmeal and I hummed in response with a nod, letting her know I heard her. I ate my oatmeal quickly and we left.

About ten minutes into the drive, Natasha seemed to finally speak up about my silence.

"You okay, kid?"

"Yeah, just tired." I lied through my teeth and Natasha shook her head.

"No, I know what tired looks like. It's more than that."

"I'm fine. I'll be a whole lot better after I transfer to Seaside."

"Yes, The School Of The Arts. The brats- I mean kids, love it there. Any thoughts on classes?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Depends on how hard their AP classes are. Most of STEM subjects are too easy for me."

"Kid, you have the IQ of 230, just 20 points off of Stark, of course they're too easy for you." I smiled at that. There's not many things I'm good at, but school is one of them.

"Alright, kiddo. Have a good day." Natasha smiled as she dropped me off and I closed the door.

She didn't scream 'have a good day' like Uncle Bucky did, and I'm kind of grateful. I don't think my brain could handle it at this point.

"Have you got the notes for science class?"

"Did Black Widow really drop Peter Parker off at school?"

"Did you study for that chemistry exam?"

"Do you have anything toe eat? I ran late this morning."

"Did you see the new Voltron season yet?"

"I'm going to Germany for spring break and the 'rents said I could bring a friend. Wanna come?"

"Did you hear their making a live-action Lion King movie?"

"Ugh, I'm so sick of school. Correction, I'm sick of waking up in the morning."

"Did you eat last night or this morning?"

"Dude, my moms been on my case all week. If I don't get my grade up, she's gonna hire a tutor."

Every single one of my school's voices came all at once. And all extremely loud. Airplane loud. Breaking news loud. Screaming loud. I placed my hands over my ears, but again, it was useless.

"Yo, Penis Parker!" Flash's voice came in like a freight train and I flinched slightly. "What's your problem? Did I scare you?" He taunted and laid his hand on my back, which I shoved away. "C'mon! I thought you liked touch." He did the same and I backed up and screamed.

"STOP TOUCHING ME!" I lowered to the ground, hands over my ears, closing my eyes tightly and shaking, not caring who saw what. The world became quiet, and I felt eyes on me.

"Hey! Leave him alone!" I recognized MJ's voice as I heard her shoes squeak against the high school flooring, clearly newly bought.

I suddenly found myself shortness of breath and struggled to breathe. MJ noticed this and sat next to me on the ground, but didn't touch me, which I appreciated.

"What's wrong with him?"

"What a loser!"

"Wow, that's a new low, Penis Parker!" I felt my side and face experience pain and then a sound of someone punching another person and a girlish scream.

"DON'T YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON HIM EVER AGAIN, FLASH THOMPSON!" MJ's scream caused me to sink back into the lockers even further, if that was even possible. I heard the running of shoes, and then a new person sitting beside me.

"Okay everyone, get to class! This isn't a talent show!" I recognized Mr. Dell's voice and the sound of people scattering. I liked Mr. Dell. He treated me like a person and not a little kid, like most teachers in this crack house. "Peter. Are you alright?" I shook my head, unable to bring words to life. "Would you like me to call someone? Your Aunt?" I shook my head, she's still out of town.

"Maybe try Mr. Stark." Ned's voice then became known, now knowing who sat beside me.

"Do you have his number?" MJ asked, I felt my phone leave my pocket and I heard the ring.

"Pete, shouldn't you be in school?

"Mr. Stark, this is Julius Dell at Midtown High, I'm here with Peter, Michelle and Ned, and Peter has seemed to have had some sort of a panic attack."

"What happened?"

"I cannot tell you what happened directly, but he seems to be really shaken and won't let anyone touch him."

"I'll be there soon. Tell the kid to hold on."

"Of course, Mr. Stark."

I heard the phone hang up and I begun to shake a bit more violently, I grabbed at my hair and clawed it.

"Pete, let's not do that, okay?" Mr. Dell removed my hands from my head, and I fell to the ground, wrapping my arms around my legs.

"Pete?" MJ's worried voice asked, still sitting beside me.

I held my hands tighter onto my ears, and I then heard the run of footsteps.

"Geez, kid…." Mr. Stark's voice calmed me slightly but didn't stop my attack. "I'll be taking him home."

"I think that's very advisable. I'll let the rest of his teachers know."

"You're not like the other ones are you?" Mr. Stark paused for a moment. "You care for him. I can tell most of the other teachers don't. Not really."

"I care for my students like their human beings. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Everyone should." I felt my body leave the ground, and I assumed that Mr. Stark picked me up.

"Come on, I'll walk you two to your classes." I heard the three leave and Mr. Stark carried me out, and I was strapped in.

"What happened to the kid?" I recognized the voice as Happy's.

"Panic attack, I assume. I'll find out later."

I leaned my head against the window and fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was in my room at Avengers Tower. The lights were dimmed down for my senses, and I found I was wearing soundproof headphones. I looked at my phone and saw that I had thirty messages.

Ten from Ned, three from MJ, five from Brooklyn, from from Pietro, and three from Megan. All of them expressed their worry about me. I looked at the time; 4:45…... On a Thursday….. Did I really sleep for 56 hours? I sighed, got out of my bed and walked out to the main room.

Uncle Bucky was reading a book on the couch, Mr. Stark was looking at something on his database, and Brooklyn was watching a TV show.

"Well, look who's joined the land of the living." Bucky joked and I smiled, giving a small wave. Brooklyn ran up to me and hugged me.

"We. Were. So. Worried. About. You!" She shook me side-to-side during the hug and I just dealt with it.

"Brooklyn, ease off of him, dear." Mr. Star told her, and she released me from her prison- I mean hug. "So, what was that that happened on Tuesday?"

"You know how I told you that my senses are usually an eleven?" I asked and he nodded. "Well….. They were a seventeen on Thursday."

"A seventeen? Why?" Uncle Bucky asked and I shrugged, sitting next to him.

"It happens sometimes. But it's never been this bad. I think that was an anxiety attack, a panic attack and a sensory overload all rolled into one. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe….. I was scared." I confessed, and I noticed Bucky motion for the Mr. Stark and Brooklyn to leave. Mr. Stark wasn't happy about it, but he did so anyways.

"Do you know what caused this? What caused you to finally snap?" Uncle Bucky asked and I shook my head.

"Peter. I know when you're lying." I froze at that. Of course. I can't lie to Bucky Barnes. "Come on, tell your favorite Uncle what's bothering you so I can fix it."

"You can't fix this…." I mumbled and walked out of the room and back into my bedroom. There's a lot of things that Bucky can fix. My mental state. Homework. School. And dealing with my parents and Uncle's death…

But he can't fix this.

What Peter experienced is called a Sensory Overload. I've experienced these so many times, and let me tell you, it hurts. It hurts like hell. Luckily Peter has so many people that care about him to help him out though!

[emeraldwaves]

Title: Cacophony Chapter 6 Read from the beginning Music/Band AU Pairing: Mikorei, side Izuseri, Rating: M Word Count:  4,804,

AO3 Summary for Ch5: The morning after while nursing a hangover, Munakata finally learns the truth about Totsuka. thanks to @its-love-u-asshole for reading this SO FAST??? Gonna try and legit update this once a month!

A headache greeted Munakata the next morning, a throbbing pain which felt as though it were knocking on his head. Perhaps this was a so-called hangover he'd heard so much about, and yet never experienced. It was...highly unpleasant.

Sighing, he brought a hand to his head, trying to recall the night before. He hadn't been so intoxicated that he forgot, still the evening weighed heavy on his mind. He brought his hand down his face, the ceiling looking partially blurry without his glasses, but his fingers stopped at his lips. Slowly his eyes widened with the realization; Suoh had kissed him.

He swallowed, sitting up quickly, which in turn hurt his head even more. "Ugh..." he groaned, leaning forward as he felt around on his nightstand for his glasses. Why had Suoh felt the need to kiss him?

He claimed it was to stop the other man from doing anything, and yet...Munakata didn't understand why Suoh couldn't have just dragged him away.

He placed his glasses on his face, and pulled up his phone. It was almost 10 AM, which was the latest he had slept in in a long time. Sighing, he stood up, walking towards his kitchen. A cup of tea would most likely help, or at least calm the raging headache.

Glancing towards the piano in the corner of his living room, Munakata let out another soft sigh. He brushed his hand over the keys. The competition was next Thursday, under a week away, and Munakata had never felt so unprepared in his whole damn life. Normally he was the vision of confidence, but currently he had no idea if he was meeting Suoh's ridiculously high music standards.

His hand pressed against the keys, making a dissonant noise, and he immediately regretted it, his head hurting more. As much as he wished to work on music, he really needed to cure this headache problem first.

The pot whistled in the kitchen, and he made his way back, pouring himself a glass of morning tea, just enough caffeine to get his day started. Hopefully, this would help. Standing by the piano while he waited for his mug to cool down, he stared at the large instrument. Perhaps he should consider trying to write a new piece. For the past month or so he'd been so damn focused on Suoh and his band, he hadn't even considered the Spring audition for Scepter University. He knew he had a lot to prepare if he was going to try for it again. He'd been exposed to many different genres of music now, and maybe that was what he needed. Maybe now he could create the perfect track.

He pulled out the bench, and took a seat, sipping on his tea. Could he get the piano to make the sound he wanted? His head still hurt, and yet, he felt a newfound determination.

Munakata placed his fingers on the keys, thinking about his old piece. He supposed the exam committee hadn't exactly been wrong, the song had been boring. It wasn't that he found Totsuka's music to be all that complex, but it did have a certain heart to it, a heart Munakata was having difficulty finding.

And just as he was about to try playing something new, one of Totsuka's songs came out, soft, gentle. Munakata let his hands lead as they brushed over the keys, the melodic tone of Totsuka's ballad echoing in his tiny apartment. It was a beautiful song, even just the piano part, and he added the melody from the guitar, playing it more intensely than he had before.

He smiled, his fingers lingering on the keys once the song was done. His heart pounding in his chest, Munakata took a deep breath, leaning his head back with a sigh, his blue bangs draping over his forehead. His headache had dissipated, and now he wondered if maybe he should play through their entire set. They didn't have practice today, and so a little private session would probably be helpful.

Finally, Munakata thought he was beginning to understand what Suoh and the people at Scepter University meant. Playing through his emotions, actually feeling what the music was telling him. As though he'd been possessed by Totsuka's ghost, his fingers glided over the keys, and he could feel his pulse in each finger, his wrists throbbing with the movement.

He knew all of the songs by heart now, and could feel them flowing from his fingertips, connecting with the instrument. If only he could write a song like this on his own, then Scepter University would gladly accept him, or so Munakata wanted to believe.

It wasn't until he received a text message that Munakata pulled himself out of the music begrudgingly . He glanced at the buzzing phone on the side of the piano, and reluctantly pulled his hands away.

"Suoh," he muttered, seeing the name flash on the screen. He was surprised to see it had already been an hour since he'd woken up, nearly 11:30. He'd gone through most of their set before the text interruption.

Text from Suoh: [U home? Let me in.]

Munakata's face stared at the phone screen, his eyes slowly widening. Suoh was here?! At his apartment?! How did he know where he lived? Munakata supposed he had walked him home last night, but how had he remembered?

He glanced around his apartment. It was, of course, spotless, but he hadn't been expecting any guests and wasn't sure what Suoh would require. Had he possibly been summoned by Totsuka's music? Maybe Suoh could just tell when someone was playing it. Though Munakata knew that was absolutely ridiculous.

Text from Suoh: [Hey]

Another small ding sounded on his phone. And another, and another...and...another.

Text from Suoh: [Munakata]

Text from Suoh: [Muna]

Text from Suoh: [kata]

Text from Suoh: [Cold]

Munakata's eyebrow twitched as he stared at the phone. Any headache he had gotten rid of was slowly returning. He had half the mind to leave Suoh out there, but instead he found himself rolling his eyes as he opened their chat.

Text to Suoh: [Dial 444, and I will buzz you in. I'm on the 4th floor, apartment 44.]

He felt his face heat up, thinking about seeing Suoh again, after the events from the evening prior. Would he say anything about the kiss? No, Suoh rarely spoke anyway, there was no way he would bring it up. But what was he doing at Munakata's apartment? The kiss hadn't meant anything, it had simply been a protective measure, so Munakata was certain he didn't owe Suoh anything. Did you owe someone something anyway if you kissed them? Munakata highly doubted that, there were plenty of people who kissed no strings attached! Just because it had been his first kiss didn't change anything, or at least, he didn't think it did.

His phone began to buzz, and he pushed the button, letting Suoh into the building. He'd be up here any minute, and all Munakata could do was wait.

~~

Suoh could remember his first hangover well, head pounding, eyes sensitive to the light, all highly unpleasant things, and currently he could only imagine what Munakata was doing. Probably laying in bed, wondering why his head hurt so much, maybe he was even trying to remember the previous night's events. Suoh let out a chuckle, pushing the button to his elevator.

He trudged down the hall, sighing when he realized Munakata's apartment had to be on the other side of the building, far away from the elevator. He swung the plastic bag in his hand, letting it flip about from side to side, flapping annoyingly in the wind.

Stepping in front of Munakata's door, he knocked, waiting for the other man to answer.

"Yo," he said, holding his hand up, once Munakata opened the door. Suoh hated how the blue-haired man didn't even look disheveled. His hair looked perfect, his bang flipping to the side in a singular swoop, and his deep purple eyes were surprisingly awake for someone who had been as drunk as he was for the first time the prior night.

"Uh, yes, hello. Please come in," Munakata said. His brow was furrowed, his eyes looking at Suoh in slight confusion.

"How ya' feelin'?" he asked, stepping casually inside of Munakata's apartment. Glancing around, he couldn't believe a person actually lived in this space. Clean didn't even come close to the correct word. It was pristine, as though no one actually lived in the space. "Oi, Munakata," he hummed, his voice tired. "You live here, or this apartment just for show?"

Munakata tilted his head, his blue locks swaying with the movement of his face. "I feel fine? Perhaps a bit tired but nothing out of the ordinary," he said, shutting the door as he followed Suoh into his living room. "And yes, I live here, I thought that would be quite obvious by now."

"Mm," Suoh grunted, leaning in to look at a few of the pictures resting on Munakata's side tables. He stood, presumably with his parents and brother, outside of a school holding a diploma. There were also a few framed pieces of music, but Suoh didn't recognize the titles. "Looks like this place belongs in a catalog or somethin'," he muttered, looking around, his eyes falling on the piano, taking up the majority of the corner of the room.

"Really? I'll take that as a compliment," Munakata hummed, pressing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I can only imagine what your place looks like."

To that, Suoh decided to ignore Munakata's statement, holding out the bag. "Brought you this," he said, changing the subject.

"What's in this?" he said, peering into the bag.

"Some instant coffee, soup, french fries from the fast food place down the street." Suoh listed off the items tiredly.

"Oya?" Munakata replied, taking the bag to the kitchen. "You stopped by to give me this random assortment of...odd food choices?"

"For hangovers," Suoh said. "I thought ya' might have one, but apparently you're some perfect being who avoids them." His voice was stuck in his throat, grumbling as he watched Munakata walk to the kitchen.

"I see!" Munakata said. "A typical 'hangover remedy'. Much appreciated Suoh," he bowed. "However, I only experienced a headache earlier this morning but it seems to have dissipated."

"Ah..." Suoh replied, running his finger over the edge of the piano.

There was a small part of Suoh that wanted to ask Munakata if he remembered anything about the previous night. If he only had a headache this morning, Suoh couldn't imagine Munakata would've forgotten, or perhaps he was some miracle drinker who avoided hangovers, but still had memory loss? Either way, he didn't wish to bring up their kiss. It had meant nothing, as far as Suoh was concerned. Munakata's lips had been soft, and the gentle squeak he had made when he had been taken off guard had been cute, but still, Suoh had only done it to get Munakata away from the other man.

Taking a seat on his piano bench, he noted the keys were uncovered. He flicked his golden gaze to the tall man. "You practicing?" he asked, gesturing to them.

Munakata gently rubbed the piece of hair beside his face between his thumb and pointer finger. "Yes, I was. I was thinking about last night, and some of the things you mentioned...about Totsuka," he said softly. He knew bringing up their past band-mate's name was always difficult for Suoh. "Plus the competition is only a few days away," he mused, a slightly bout of anxiety flickering across his eyes. "The short answer is yes, I was practicing."

"Mm," Suoh grunted again. One of the only other people he had met who was as diligent as Munakata when it came to music was Totsuka.

"I apologize," Munakata said quietly, bowing his head. "I suppose you would prefer me to not speak about Totsuka Tatara."

"S'fine," Suoh said, pushing himself off of the piano bench. "Can I smoke on your balcony?" he asked, and Munakata nodded his head.

Munakata opened the sliding door, and made his way back inside, grabbing his coat. "I'll join you."

It was then Suoh noted Munakata was wearing something more...casual. Normally he was so well-dressed, even for their practices; wearing some sort of nice pants, a button down and occasionally a tie. But currently he was in long, blue flannel pants, and a long-sleeved shirt. It was cute, how casual he looked. He wrapped the pea coat around himself, hugging it tightly to his body.

Munakata pulled out his own pack of cigarettes, placing one in his mouth, and Suoh's eyes widened. "You smoke?" he asked, his voice incredulous.

The pianist chuckled. "Oya? I think that is the most emotion I've heard from you, Suoh." He flicked the lighter against the cigarette, taking a long hit. "Yes, I do. Rarely, but I do."

"Can see that," Suoh muttered, leaning over the balcony as he watched some drifting snow flutter around them.

They were silent, and Suoh appreciated that. He always envisioned Munakata as the type of person who would never shut up, but he glanced over, watching as Munakata stood with his eyes closed, leaning against the railing, taking a long drag off of the cigarette.

"Tatara died," Suoh said finally, the words sounding foreign on his lips. It was a sentence he didn't approve of saying, and yet the words slipped from his lips. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to tell Munakata, the man was intelligent, he had to have known.

"I assumed," Munakata whispered, his gaze staring down at his feet. "I didn't wish to ask how or why, as I did not wish to re-open any wounds. It is obvious you cared for him deeply."

"Loved him," Suoh said, again the foreignness of the phrase tickling his tongue oddly. He could remember nights he'd spent wrapped up in Tatara, the blond's smiling face forever scarred into his mind. Sometimes they would sing together, play guitar, and sometimes Tatara would want to try out some crazy new thing, like making balloon animals, or trying out do-it-yourself videos online. And other nights Suoh would move inside him, Tatara calling him his King. And then they'd kiss and kiss, all night long, like something out of a dream.

And yet, life wasn't fair.

Munakata pursed his lips, his fingertips squeezing his cigarette. "I see, I am...so terribly sorry for your loss."

"It was a year ago, almost exactly. I get a phone call from Izumo, some drunk asshole hit him while he was crossing the street. Found him with his guitar and a skateboard, probably was...trying something new out," Suoh chuckled, flicking the end of the cigarette to drop the ash to the streets below. "Seemed like he was on his way to my place." His golden gaze stayed fixated on the streets beneath the balcony, watching as the snow swirled by, making cars drive slower than normal.

Suoh felt a hand on his shoulder, and he quickly turned to the left. "You did not have to share that with me," he whispered.

"Yeah. Wanted to," Suoh shrugged. "Izumo signed us up for this damn competition so I'd stop moping around. Guess he kinda succeeded."

"Well I wouldn't say you've been moping," Munakata chuckled softly.

"Nah. Just angry. Sorry. S'not like you knew. It's...hard to imagine someone else in his spot on stage with us," Suoh admitted. He hated saying that, as though it now made his words true, and the situation real. He'd be playing Tatara's songs without Tatara.

"I am...sure," Munakata nodded.

"Izumo was right though," he grunted. "And don't tell him I told ya' this," Suoh threatened, Munakata only nodding accepting the secret. "Tatara would be mad if he knew I was sitting around not playing. And it would be even worse if people didn't get to experience the songs he did write."

"They deserve to be heard," Munakata whispered. He pressed his cigarette against the snow, snuffing it out. Bowing his head, he turned towards Suoh. "I promise to do my best to play Totsuka's songs in his honor."

Suoh couldn't help but snort. "I appreciate that, but ya' don't gotta be so formal. Just keep doin' your best," he shrugged, pressing his own cigarette against the balcony. "You're getting better at 'em. Hell," Suoh chuckled. "we might even win on Thursday."

Munakata smiled, the white glare from the snow making his face light up. "It is highly possible!"

Suoh couldn't help but blush, guilt washing over his body as he thought Munakata's radiance looked as beautiful as Tatara's, and he wondered what it would be like if they kissed sober.

~~

The next afternoon, Suoh felt pangs of regret going to Munakata's apartment. He'd left shortly after their talk on the balcony, and all it had done was make Suoh feel guilty, and slightly stupid. Why had he told Munakata about that? He didn't wish for the blue-haired man to view him all sympathetically, and he certainly didn't wish for Munakata to force playing emotionally because of these songs now having some sort of  'tragic past'.

Munakata hadn't even needed his help with a hangover, which was the whole damn reason Suoh had gone in the first place. And yet, something about the stupid blue-haired man and his strange demeanor had gotten Suoh to open up.

Then again, he'd also left feeling the most determined he'd felt in awhile. He wondered how Munakata would play, after spending time practicing alone, and perhaps with his new knowledge he would have a new outlook on the songs he was playing.

"You seem to be in a pleasant mood today," Kusanagi chuckled, watching as Suoh flopped down onto the practice stage.

"Mmm," Suoh grunted. "Munakata knows."

"About?"

"Tatara," Suoh muttered.

"How?" Kusanagi asked.

Suoh simply shrugged. "I told him."

"Did you see him over the weekend?" Kusanagi raised an eyebrow, surprised by his friend's action.

"Yeah. Went to a bar," he muttered.

"You took Munakata to a bar?"

"Got him drunk too," Suoh smirked. "And kissed him."

"What?!" Kusanagi yelled, his eyes peering over his sunglasses. "What the hell were you thinking?! Is he even coming to practice anymore? You just-"

"Izumo. Shaddup, it's fine. I did it to get some creep away from him," Suoh chuckled, shaking his head. "Dunno if he even remembers it."

Kusanagi sighed, his shoulders deflating. "I will never understand some of the choices you make. But are you really alright with him knowing about Tatara?" Kusanagi asked.

Suoh shrugged. "Yeah. I think he deserved to know."

"You gonna stop hating him now?" Kusanagi teased, nudging Suoh's shoulder.

"I never hated 'im..." he muttered.

"I would beg to differ," Kusanagi hummed, standing up when the large door began to slide open, Munakata stepping inside.

"Afternoon, gentleman," he said, bowing his head.

"Munakata," Suoh grunted. "Let's get started."

The four band members made their way onto the stage, taking their spots. "Oi," Yata said, sitting down in front of his drum set. "Saruhiko said he could come set up our lightening and check our sound equipment tomorrow."

"Perfect," Kusanagi smiled. "We're about ready for Thursday."

"Only a few more days left!" Yata cheered.

"Gentleman," Munakata began, taking his seat in front of the keyboard. "I have been truly honored to play with you, and I feel I have learned a lot. I hope to do these songs justice on Thursday," he nodded.

"You're doing great," Kusanagi smiled. "Actually I think we have a really good chance at winning," he chuckled, winking towards Suoh.

Suoh rolled his eyes, playing the first chord. "Let's get started."

Counting in, Suoh began to play the first song, the loud music echoing in the large practice space as it always did. This time however, his ears noted the smooth pace at which they all fell into. It was almost like a switch had gone off inside of them all, and they all followed each other, and Suoh's vocals.

Munakata's sound was no longer choppy and stilted, no, instead it sounded melodic, and full of something Suoh hadn't heard before. It blended too, no longer disjointed and sticking out from the rest of the band.

Suoh swallowed, it was a familiar sound, and he glanced out into the empty practice space, letting the music settle in his chest. The noise flowed into his heart, and moved through his bloodstream, making his fingers tingle with each strum of his guitar. It sounded good, damn good.

It sounded so close to Tatara.

Suoh wanted to glance towards the piano, wondering if by some miracle, Tatara had come back to life, and maybe this whole time he'd been stuck in some weird alternate dimension where Tatara had been ripped from him. But one flick of his golden eyes reminded him of the reality. Munakata sat now where Tatara once had been.

And yet, the knowledge awoke something different in Suoh's chest. The music flowed, the tempo picking up as they switched to a faster song, and Suoh could feel how in time everything was, how in sync they were. It was horrifying, it was thrilling, it was a feeling he'd never thought he'd feel again.

"Damn!" Yata called, rolling his drumsticks down against the drum. "That sounded fucking amazing! I really think we could win."

"It flowed so smoothly," Kusanagi said, almost breathlessly.

Suoh stayed silent, the music washing over him. He'd never expected to play like that again, and yet here he was, loving the feeling. He loved the throb of the perfect beat in his chest, and he adored how all the emotion he often stored so deep inside, slowly rose up, Tatara's music describing everything Suoh felt so perfectly.

And yet it felt so damn wrong.

Slowly, Munakata lifted his fingers off of the keyboard, his hands trembling. "I believe that...was much better," he said slowly, as though he had to catch his breath. When there came no answer, he turned around, staring at Suoh's back. "Suoh?" he asked.

"Great," he muttered.

"What?" Munakata asked.

"It was great," Suoh snapped. "Let's take a break," he grunted, and stepped down off the stage. He couldn't look at Munakata, couldn't possibly tell him his playing had been absolutely perfect. This is what he had wanted all along, and yet...

He stormed towards the door, pushing it open as he stepped out into the cold air, a shiver rolling down his spine. It was too late to back out of the competition, not after...all they'd done, but Suoh knew what he was going to do. The second they stepped off of the stage on Thursday, he'd be putting his guitar away, and Munakata would be out of his life. No more competitions, no more practices, no more music. Maybe then he could focus on making things...normal again.

~~

Munakata sighed watching Suoh storm off of the stage. "It would seem I cannot win with him," he said, standing next to Kusanagi. "At first my skills were not adequate, or up to his standard, and now they are, he seems mad once again. Rather frustrating."

"You were perfect," Kusanagi muttered. "Even more perfect than before, if that's possible," he chuckled. "Mikoto is...still hurting."

"I know," Munakata admitted. He wondered if he should go out there, try and to speak to him, but he had the feeling he would only make whatever Suoh was feeling worse.

"Don't worry about him. I think he probably felt you were almost...too close to Totsuka," Kusanagi admitted.

"Perhaps," Munakata whispered. It was the only thing that seemingly made sense.

"So," Kusanagi began, "any ideas for your next application piece?"

Munakata shook his head. "I believe I have learned a lot by being here, and I need to decide how I wish to implement them into a new classical style piece." Admittedly, it had been awhile since he'd practiced his normal style.

"I see," Kusanagi sighed, folding his arms behind his back. "So I guess there's no way you'd stay with us then. Too bad, you’ve really been getting into it lately!" he chuckled.

Munakata looked towards the ground. He had not considered the expiration date on their time together. Once the competition was over, Munakata would have to prep for his application to Scepter University, and if he got in, he would have absolutely zero free time. There would be no way he could continue playing with them.

His heart felt heavy in his chest thinking of it. Of course he still wanted to apply to Scepter University. It had been his dream to be a part of their music program for so long, he couldn't even fathom when such a thought had begun. And yet, he couldn't help but feel a longing to stay with the band. They could write new songs, create new music together. They were simple, yes, but they had something Munakata couldn't quite explain, but it was something he'd grown to enjoy in the past few weeks.

"Unfortunately," Munakata said, trying to keep his voice steady. "I will have to...take my leave. It has been a wonderful, eye-opening experience being here with you, and I am greatly looking forward to the competition in a few days, but..." he sighed, glancing back at the keyboard. His fingers were so light when he touched it, so different from that of a grand piano. At first he had hated it, and now...it was such a pleasant, freeing, different feeling. "Being at Scepter University is important to me. I will keep applying until they accept me, and if I get accepted this time around, well, I won't have any free time," he chuckled.

"That sucks," Kusanagi admitted.

"Actually I'm quite used to it. With so much free time lately, I've not been sure what to do with myself. I practice a lot yes, but I'm used to a very strict schedule."

"Well," Kusanagi sighed. "We'll miss you. Especially Mikoto, even if he is acting like an ass right now."

"I do not know if he'll miss me, I'm sure he'll be happy to find someone more to his liking," Munakata chuckled waving him off.

"I dunno, he did kiss ya'," Kusanagi winked.

"O-Oya!" Munakata hissed. "He told you about that?"

"So you do remember," Kusanagi hummed. "Yeah, he told me. He was pretty nonchalant about it, but knowing Mikoto, it probably meant more than he let on," Kusanagi said. "He probably doesn't even know it yet. Idiot," he scoffed. "Anyway, I'm going to drag his ass back in here so we can run through the set again," he said, pushing himself up.

Munakata's face was far redder than he wanted it to be. The kiss meant more than Suoh had let on? There was no way, he'd done it to pull him away from the other man, and Suoh hadn't said a word about it otherwise.

Swallowing, he gripped the side of the stage and shook his head. It was better if they didn't speak on it again. Suoh wasn't big on words, so if Munakata never brought it up, he was certain he could just let it go, especially since he wouldn't be able to stay in their band after the competition was complete.

He and Suoh were from two completely different worlds. They had collided for this one purpose, and soon that purpose would be ending. It was fun, hanging out, playing such wonderful, heartfelt music. And even though the concert and bar hadn't been things he'd experienced before, Munakata hadn't hated them. Suoh had been far more interesting than Munakata had expected, and the more he thought about him the more he wanted to know.

He wanted to spend time with him, wanted to experience these things he'd always missed out on. All his life he'd only focused on piano, and nothing else. Suoh was showing him something so different, so new. It was… freeing.

Yet, he missed his safe, classical piano, he missed his schedule. He liked his routine, and Suoh was the opposite of these things. Suoh was an adventure, one he had enjoyed, but...this wasn't how Munakata could imagine his life being forever. He was a classical pianist, not a rock star.

And, as much as he did think about the kiss, and Suoh, there was no need to bring up one event when their paths would be diverging so soon. The less attachments Munakata had, the far easier it would be to walk away.

[decembercamiecherries]

Title: Words That Water Flowers

Total word count: 12768 -> Chapter 7 word count: 3867

Chapters: 7

Chapter 7 summary:

Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan)- a wordless, yet meaningful look between two people who both desire to initiate something, but both are too scared to initiate themselves

Only five more chapters to go after this one! Can you believe we're this far into the story already?

I wrote this whole chapter in one night so I'm sorry if its not cohesive ^^; Also, there might not be a chapter next week? Maybe? I'm not a hundred percent sure yet, it depends on what happens with my tests. If I have to push it back a week I'll make sure to leave a note somewhere on my tumblr. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this chapter! This is the last semi-fluffy chapter for the rest of the story, by the way.

Thank you in advance for reading!

“How’s that list going?”

Gon glanced over his shoulder, brow puckering. “Huh?”

“Your list,” Killua repeated. He dug the heel of his sneaker into the dirt and pushed himself forward. “Don’t tell me you can’t remember. I know you’re forgetful, Gon, but c’mon. I’m hurt.”

Gon stuck out his tongue. “I didn’t forget! I just…”

“You just-” Killua grunted as he threw his leg over a fallen tree trunk, “- what, exactly?”

“I ran out of people to add to the list,” Gon admitted.

Killua took a second to catch his breath, looking over at his best friend. Gon’s face was a blotchy mess and shone with a layer of sweat. But the way his hair flopped over, falling into bright gold-brown eyes, was enough to make Killua’s heart lurch.

He abruptly turned away, ears burning. It should be illegal for Gon to look so damn good like that- all disheveled and hot and-

“Killua? Are you oka-”

“Fine!” Killua straightened up and started the long and laborious trek the hill again. He could feel Gon’s worried stare digging into the back of his head but he ignored it. They’d been over this on the drive here; Killua could spend one day out in the wilderness with his best friend. The marigolds inside his chest wouldn’t stop him from enjoying the first warm day of spring.

Or he hoped so, at least.

Killua said in a falsely-cheery voice, “You were saying, Gon?”

Gon only hesitated for a moment before continuing, “I said that I ran out of names. I really thought we had more friends, but…there’s only three or so people on the list. We’re not close enough to anyone else to even consider them.”

Killua’s bark of laughter echoed off the surrounding trees. “I think it’s more that no one can keep up with us, Gon.”

Gon returned Killua’s grin with a breathless chuckle. “Ha, yeah. That’s true.”

They both grinned at each other stupidly, cheeks aching. It felt good to smile like this again with Gon. A lot had changed with Killua’s Disease and he missed this happier, weightless part of being with his best friend.

Killua turned his attention back to the rock-scattered path in front of him. Casually, he asked, “So?”

His best friend blinked and Killua sighed.

“So,” he said pointedly. “Who’s on the list? Don’t leave me in the dark here. I’m curious.”

“Oh.” Something unreadable and dark flickered across Gon’s face. It almost made Killua pause, but the spiky-haired teen was already barreling on before he could think of what to say.

“There’s Zushi, of course,” Gon said as he pushed a low-hanging tree branch out of the way. “He looks at you kind of funny sometimes, so I thought maybe he could be the one at first? But I’ve never seen you look at him that way, and it’s your feelings that matter.”

Killua frowned. Zushi, really? He’d never noticed the so-called ‘looks’ Gon claimed to have seen. But he’d never paid much mind to anyone, except for one person in particular.

“And I added Ikalgo onto the list, ‘cause I know you spend a lot of time with him-”

“Ikalgo?!” Killua blurted out before he could stop himself. “Are you- no, no way. You can’t be serious-”

“Killua,” Gon whined as Killua started to snicker uncontrollably. “Stop making fun of me!”

“I’m not,” he wheezed. “I just. Oh, man. Gon. Really? I can’t believe this; Ikalgo’s already in college! He’s like, five years older than us.”

Gon made a face. “I know that. But you guys talk all the time, and you help him out with homework a lot. Besides, he’s more your friend than mine. You…you could like him, and I might not know.”

Killua slowed his pace, staring at Gon’s hunched back. Was it just Killua’s imagination, or had Gon’s voice had sounded strange just now- strained and bitter, the same way it sounded whenever Gon had to comply to something he didn’t like but wanted to hide his true feelings.

Killua licked his lips nervously and tried to ignore the sudden pounding of his heart. He began, “Gon, what are you-”

“We’re here!” Gon suddenly shouted. He took off up the hill at a sprint and Killua cursed under his breath before chasing after him.

He would just have to ask Gon about it later.

When they finally made it to the top of the hill, both teens were gasping for air. Gon leaned heavily on his knees, panting like a dog. He managed to level a broad grin at Killua though even in his exhausted state.

“We….ahhhh. We made it, Killua.”

Killua just nodded and swallowed down the iron taste on his tongue. He was lucky the flower in his chest wasn’t agitated by exercise. The stupid thing only reacted whenever Killua thought too long and hard about Gon.

Which happened to be much too often. Killua immediately stamped that thought down. Today was supposed to be fun. He didn’t want to think about his premature death with Gon standing just a few feet away.

So instead Killua forced himself to stand up straight and slowly walk over to the edge of the cliff he and Gon were standing on. From somewhere behind him, he heard Gon ask loudly, “When was the last time we were up here?”

“Um.” Killua cautiously leaned over. The same familiar waterfall roared just below them from a hole in the cliff’s wall, falling into a deep pool of water. There, off in the distance, was the same beach he and Gon had played on as children with Mito carefully watching over them. The same birds sung the same song off in the distance, the same shaded forest bent and moaned in the breeze around them.

It was all the same as it had been when they were kids. But they had both changed so much.

“It’s been too long,” Killua finally said, twisting back around with his hands on his hips. “Yo, Gon. Do you want to do it?”

Gon straightened. “You mean-?”

“You bet.”

Gon’s entire face lit up. “Yeah! Do you?”

Killua hit Gon over his head impulsively. “’Course, stupid! Do you think I’d ask if I didn’t?”

Gon rubbed his skull with a laugh that sounded like bells and happiness and freedom, and Killua’s chest filled with warmth.

It didn’t take them long to pull off their clothes. Gon had his t-shirt yanked over his arms and thrown in a heap on the rock before Killua even unzipped his sweatshirt.

“Hurry up, Killua!” Gon said, already unlacing his shoes. “I’ll jump in before you if you don’t!”

“Jeez, Gon,” Killua grumbled. Gon always rushed too much. Not that Killua blamed him; he was just as excited, if not more. Jumping off the rock here and diving into the pool of water below had always been something of an adrenaline rush for the two of them when they were younger. He couldn’t wait to feel that sudden swoop in his gut, the energy pouring into his veins and the icy plunge that waited them below.

He finally tugged his long-sleeved shirt off and took a second to enjoy the sun’s rays on his bare chest. He stretched his arms over his head and groaned at the loud and semi-painful pop of his shoulders.

“Well, I should’ve known that was gonna happen.” He turned back around, tucking his arms behind his head. “Hey, you ready, Gon-”

Killua stopped. Gon was still sitting on the rock, hands hovering over his laces, mouth slightly agape. He looked like he was in shock. It took Killua a moment to realize that the thing Gon was gaping at….was him.

Killua’s stomach flipped and his mouth went dry. He’d never seen Gon look at him like that; his best friend’s eyes were wide with something close to awe, and they shone like gold coins in the sunlight reflecting off the rock.

There was something else, too. Something that Killua couldn’t name hidden within those caramel depths. It was a new, pulsing kind of emotion that made the oxygen in Killua’s lungs disappear.

“Gon?” he whispered before he could stop himself and the freckled teen jerked.

“I- um!” Gon flushed bright red as Killua watched. “S-Sorry, Killua! I didn’t mean to space out like that.”

Gon laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and refusing to meet Killua’s gaze. Killua bit his bottom lip. He didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know what to say about whatever had just overcome Gon, either.

“Are you alright?” he asked, just to make sure. “You seemed kind of. Out of it, for a second.”

Gon shook his head vigorously as he stood. “I’m fine! I promise!”

“Okay….if you’re sure.”

“I am!!! Are you ready, by the way?”

Killua accepted the change in topic silently as he finished stripping off his socks. “Yep. Are you?”

“Mhm!” Gon bounced excitedly on the heels of his bare feet. He stopped suddenly and glanced at Killua in a way that was almost shy. “Hey, Killua?”

He raised an eyebrow at Gon’s hesitant tone. “Yeah? What’s up with you today, huh? You keep acting weird.”

Gon wrinkled his nose stubbornly. “What, no I’m not!”

“Yes, you are.”

“Are not!”

“Are.”

“Are no-”

“Okay, enough!” Killua snapped. “I am not getting into another one of those stupid arguments with you, they drive me crazy! Just- ask me whatever the hell it was you wanted, already.”

Gon’s expression faltered.

“Can, um. Can we, jump off t-together, maybe?” he stammered, cheeks flushed once more. “Like old times?”

Killua’s heart stuttered. Gon couldn’t be suggesting- “You mean, holding hands and everything?”

Gon nodded and Killua bit his inside cheek to keep himself from shrieking.

Because- what?! Gon wanted to hold hands with him?! Why?! What was going on?!

Something warm and soft brushed against his knuckles and Killua jumped. He glanced down just in time to see Gon’s fingers weaving through his own, beautifully tanned skin standing out in stark contrast to Killua’s alabaster white.

Killua started unblinkingly at the sight. Then he raised his gaze to meet Gon’s. His best friend’s eyes crinkled upwards at the end as he beamed.

Something inside Killua’s chest ached with longing. It felt like a part of him was flowing from him to Gon through their interlocked hands, almost as if a part of him had been made for Gon, and now it was simply returning to the source.

Gon tugged on his arm. Killua numbly followed while blood roaring in his ears so loudly he could barely think. He probably couldn’t even talk right now and make sense; he’d just stammer out some jumbled mess. Gon would giggle and say in that ridiculously cheery and perfect tone of his: “You’re so silly, Killua!”

And the flower in Killua’s throat would curve against his windpipe, leaving Killua to hack up his love all over their bare feet.

Horror washed over Killua as his eyes suddenly started to prickle and sting. No. No, he couldn’t cry, not now, not in front of Gon, not today-

Gon’s fingers gently squeezed his. Killua blinked to find Gon looking at him expectantly, head cocked to the side.

“Ready?” he asked. It was only then that Killua noticed how far they were from the cliff’s edge- just enough for them to get a running start.

Killua clenched his jaw. He could do this. He could jump through the air with his best friend as they held onto each other, desperate not to be separated by the fall. He had to do this, one last time.

For Gon.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

Gon grinned. “On your marks,” he said as he shifted into a crouching position.

“Get set,” Killua added on, narrowing his eyes and loving the rush of adrenaline flowing into his blood.

“GO!” they shouted together and leaped forward.

Killua had just enough time to take two huge gulps of air- one, two- as his bare feet pounded on hard rock-

And then they were airborne.

A single second was all Killua had to take in the view; the waterfall just below their feet, the sunlight bouncing off the pool below them, the emerald tree leaves twisting in the breeze. It was the earth and the wind and it was nature at the beginning of a new season, bursting with life. And that was the last thing Killua thought of before gravity took hold and he started to fall.

Wind whistled in Killua’s ears, tearing at his silver locks as he twisted his body to face Gon. The other teen was already facing him and laughter spilled from his lips as their gazes locked. Gon’s free hand moved towards him and Killua reached out to meet him halfway.

They were clasping each other’s hands when they hit the water.

The first thing Killua felt was the cold; the water was utterly freezing and the icy temperature pierced Killua’s skin like a thousand tiny needles. He managed to keep his mouth tightly shut despite the shock, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip to keep himself from gasping involuntarily.

Killua slowly opened his eyes. At first the only thing he could see were bubbles; they swirled around his body in an uneven dance and slowly shifted upwards through green-blue waters. Killua tracked the paths of a few larger ones before they popped at the surface.

Something warm gripped his hands and Killua suddenly recognized Gon floating less than a foot in front of him.

Gon smiled crookedly as Killua’s eyes widened. His best friend’s normally-spiked hair swirled around his head in a dark halo and his skin shifted shades of bronze-caramel-brown under the scattered sunbeams. Hundreds of tiny bubbles spun around and in between them and Gon’s hands were soft and firm in Killua’s.

The whole scene was surreal. It made Killua wonder distantly if he was in some kind of bizarre dream.

The burning in his lungs, however, was an abrupt reminder that Killua was, in fact, very much in reality and if he didn’t get fresh oxygen right now, he would explode.

Killua kicked upwards, gasping for air the second his head broke through. He heard Gon splash to the surface a second later and immediately began to drag them both towards the shore. The drop had wiped out any energy he had to keep himself afloat. He had to get to the shore so he could collapse.

He finally let go of Gon’s hand when his feet made contact with grainy sand. He couldn’t even get himself to stand; instead he crawled out of the water, panting and shivering before flopping onto his back. His whole body trembled slightly in the cool breeze, goosebumps breaking out across his skin.

A solid weight landed on top of his chest and Killua wheezed as all the air was pushed out of his lungs.

“OOOF!”

“Sorry,” Gon mumbled and his jaw moved against Killua’s bare skin. He didn’t sound sorry at all.

“You-” Killua sucked in another huge breath, “- you’re too damn heavy, Gon, get off!”

“No.”

Killua grunted as Gon’s arms wrapped securely around his torso. There went Killua’s chance at actually being able to breathe.

He groaned, “Gooooon. Move, seriously.”

“What if I don’t wanna?”

“Then I’ll push you off!” He tried to shove at Gon’s shoulders. “Do you really think I’d let you cling to me like some kind of octopus?!”

Gon raised his head, a challenge shinning in his eyes. “Do you really think you could? Push me off, I mean? I’m stronger than you.”

“You’re also ticklish,” Killua shot back and Gon flinched. “And I’m not. So I think it’s pretty clear who’d be the winner here.”

“You’re so mean, Killua,” Gon whined. “I just want to hug you!”

“You already have, moron, and you weigh a ton! So let go already.”

Gon huffed. “Fine, but-” he started to lift himself off Killua and Killua sucked in a deep breath of air. Finally.

“-but,” Gon continued. “I still want to- ah.”

Killua blinked at Gon’s tone, only to find Gon staring down from directly above him, his best friend’s figure silhouetted by the sun.

It was only then that Killua realized how close Gon was, the awkward position they were in: Gon’s hands pressed into the sand on either side of Killua’s dripping hair and his knees just barely brushed against Killua’s hips as his head hovered mere inches over Killua’s.

Killua’s eyes widened involuntarily. For a second he forgot to breathe, too captivated by the way Gon’s wet skin shimmered in the sun. Gon looked like a golden statue like that.

He distantly wondered what Gon was seeing as he stared back down at Killua- Killua was pretty sure he was the exact opposite of attractive right now with white locks sticking to his forehead while the rest lay in a knotted mess around his head. Killua probably looked relatively similar to a drenched cat, pathetic and shivering on the sand.

But there was something in the way that Gon swallowed- thickly, like he was nervous or anxious- that gave Killua hope for something more.

“Killua?” Gon whispered and Killua’s fingers dug into the soft sand.

“Y-Yeah?” he breathed.

“I.” Gon swallowed again. There was a war going on in the depth of those caramel eyes but Killua couldn’t think straight enough to decipher it. He couldn’t think straight enough to do anything right now, not with the faint feeling of warmth that radiated off Gon’s body as he hovered over Killua. Killua was lucky he still remembered to breathe at all at this point.

Gon began again, quietly, “I- I think, I’m…”

Was Gon’s face always this close? Or was it getting closer?

Killua couldn’t remember. He just knew his heart was doing triple back-flips inside his chest, hammering away so fast Killua felt light-headed.

But Gon kept getting closer. And he wasn’t showing any signs of slowing. If Killua wanted, he could count every freckle on Gon’s cheeks and the individual sparks of gold folded against caramel brown irises. He could even smell the cinnamon toothpaste on Gon’s breath as his lips parted…

Killua’s eyes fluttered shut. And then-

RIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

The jarring noise shocked them both. Gon jolted so badly he fell over onto the ground next to Killua, and he let out a strangled cry as he landed on his arm.

“K-Killua,” Gon said between gritted teeth. “I think that’s- that sounds like your phone…” He scrambled up again, moving towards the spot where they had left their bags before climbing up the hill.

Killua just laid there, paralyzed.

What. The hell. Had just happened. Did Gon just….had they nearly-

No. That was impossible.

He pressed his eyes tightly shut, squeezing them until he saw stars and the horrible burning stopped. He was so stupid. He couldn’t believe it.

Had he really gotten so desperate that he actually thought for a split-second that Gon was going to…Killua’s stomach rolled and he fought down a wave of nausea. It didn’t matter, he told himself. It didn’t happen, it wasn’t real. He was just imagining things to save himself from the pain.

This is why he had avoided telling Gon about his Hanahaki in the first place; it was too painful to hope. It was a delusion only of the truly desperate and, unfortunately, Killua had crossed that bridge a long time ago.

The all-too-familiar tickle brushed against the back of his throat but he ignored it. He could cough up marigolds into his toilet later- without Gon’s prying eyes on him.

“Killua,” came the sound of Gon’s melodic voice and something cold and rectangular was pressed into Killua’s open palm.

Right. His phone.

Killua reopened his eyes and slowly pushed himself up on one hand. It took him a few times to get the password right. His fingers were shaking badly with cold- it was the cold, damnit, it had nothing to do with what had just transpired a few minutes ago.

Finally, he unlocked the screen. His sat up straight when he recognized the number.

“What?” Gon asked, pressing into his side so he could see Killua’s screen. “Who is it?”

Killua resisted the urge to scramble away from Gon as fast as possible. He could handle this, had been handling this for months now. Being physically close to Gon couldn’t kill him. It just prolonged the torture.

“It’s Alluka,” Killua answered and was relieved at the steadiness of his tone. “She texted me a picture, see?”

He held the phone out to his best friend. But instead of taking the phone like Killua had expected, Gon simply curled his hand around Killua’s, holding him and the phone still enough for him to squint.

“She looks good,” Gon said with a quirk of his lips. “Does she like it there in Yorknew?”

“I, um.” Killua mentally slapped himself. He and Gon had been holding hands less than five minutes ago. How was it that this innocent touching of hand-to-hand left him blushing like a thirteen-year-old?!

Gon was looking at him expectantly.

Killua cleared his throat. “She’s happy, yeah. Happier than she could’ve ever been here with the rest of the family at least. Turns out that my parents shipping her off boarding school was the best thing that could’ve happened to her.”

“You miss her, though.”

Killua looked back down at his phone. The girl on his screen was a few years younger than them. She had Killua’s blue eyes but their mother’s thick layers of brown hair. She winked at the camera, two fingers up in a peace sign as a glittering city stretched out in the background.

“…yeah,” he admitted. He gazed at his sister’s happy face, brushing his thumb against her cheek. He missed her more than he could say. Alluka was the only real family Killua had in this world; his other relatives were bat-shit crazy as far as he was concerned.

“Does she know?” Gon asked quietly and Killua’s heart clenched painfully.

“No,” he said shortly. “And she never will. There’s no point in making her suffer; she can’t help me where she is and our parents will never let her come back before the semester is over. It’s…it’s better this way.”

There was a pause.

“Killua,” Gon said quietly. There was something in his tone that forced Killua to glance sideways at his best friend. Gon was staring down at his lap, where his hands were clenched into white-knuckled fists.

“Wh-what is it?” Killua stammered, heart in his mouth.

Gon’s fingers loosened and he gave Killua a falsely-cheerful smile.

“It’s nothing,” Gon chirped, but his voice sounded flat. “Wanna dive in again?”

Killua wanted to press him. He wanted to know what Gon had really wanted to say.

But Gon was already pushing himself up onto his feet. He held a hand out to Killua, a more sincere and bright grin already in place.

Killua’s heart lurched. He would ask Gon about it later. Today was supposed to be happy, after all.

He wordlessly slipped his hand into Gon’s and allowed himself to be pulled up into the air.

[ulaaidesu]

Ulaai’s Feb-April 2017 J-Pop Recommendations

Hello!

It’s been a while since the last time I wrote a proper post. My life has been going well so far, and lately I’ve got to listen a bunch of new (for me) really nice Japanese songs! I got to know some of the songs because my friend recommended it to me or because it is an OST of a movie/anime/drama that I know before hand or because YouTube’s recommendations. :D

Here they are, grouped by their mood/genre; I also included the YouTube links and my thoughts/snippets from the lyrics :) check it out. 

Mood #1: so sad yet beautiful, what is this feeling, who put these onions here?

1. back number - happy end ( back number「ハッピーエンド���)

I like the guitar in the song’s prelude. The song is about parting, even though the man is unwilling. Also the lyric is beautiful: "As if goodbye was stuck on the back of your throat. You want to cough it out, but you say thank you instead.”

2. Ikimonogakari - Last Scene ( いきものがかり「ラストシーン」)

Also about parting. The vocalist’s song is so nice and powerful! Lyric: “Hey, I have to bid farewell soon. I will continue living the present where you are not in my side.”

3. Sukima Switch - Akatsuki no Uta ( スキマスイッチ / アカツキの詩 )

I thought the melody is really catchy. Looks like it’s not really popular which is such a shame. The lyric reminds me of the saying that relationships are like sand held in the hand; the more you keep it, the more you lose it. “I tried to protect you, and crushed you in my hand.”

4. Kobukuro - Mirai ( コブクロ「未来」) 

This is an OST of a live action movie, Orange. I haven’t seen it but I already read some of the manga chapters. It takes time for me to love this song, but really, Kobukuro is a name you can trust, especially for ballads. I mean, listen to those vocals! “I want to protect you now as you laugh looking back.”

Mood #2: time to sit back, relax, and reflect on myself

5. Sheena Ringo - Ariamaru Tomi ( 椎名林檎 - ありあまる富 ) 

This song reminds me of a line in a book “The Little Prince", that ‘The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.’ As reflected in the lyrics: “If they ever steal something from you, then it was worthless anyway. You should not have to ask for it back, because its value is attached to your soul. See? Your wealth is overflowing.”

6. Hi-Fi CAMP - Hitonigiri no Sora no Shita ( 一握りの空の下 / Hi-Fi CAMP )

At times like this do I despair about my inability to understand Japanese, even though I listen to lots and lots of J-Pop songs... The title means “A Handful of Skies”, but I really didn’t understand what the song really means... But Hi-Fi CAMP is one of my favorite artist, and I was really devastated when I knew that they had been broken up :’

7. Luck Life - Namae wo Yobu yo ( ラックライフ / 名���を呼ぶよ )

One day, this song is just suddenly appear in my YouTube recommendation. It’s also the OST of the anime Bungou Stray Dogs. “I will call out a name, your name, just as you once called out mine.” I don’t think the mood suits the genre but that’s what I feel about it.

Mood #3: it’s study time

For this mood, there is not much description. Just listen and enjoy the songs!

8. Nujabes - Aruarian Dance

Listen to this perfection by Nujabes everyone... this. per. fec. tion.

9. bohemianvoodoo - Adria Blue

This piece of music makes you nod your head while studying.

10.  DJ Okawari - Flower Dance

Another beautiful music that is comfortable to listen to while you’re studying.

11.  toconoma - relive

A lively music, another that will makes you nodding along. The MV is also interesting.

12. LUCKY TAPES - Lady Blues ( LUCKY TAPES / レイディ・ブルース )

I haven’t listened to this song for very long but its a pretty nice (funk? jazz?) song.

Mood #4: so happy, i feel powerful, love is in the air

13. Spitz - Haru no Uta ( スピッツ / 春の歌 )

I feel so happy I had found this song, listening to it makes me feel motivated and joyful! Haru no Uta means ‘Song of Spring’, so it’s kind of appropriate for this time around. “The song of spring, echoing before love and hope.”

14. Kenshi Yonezu - Blue Jasmine (  米津玄師 - Blue Jasmine )

The linked song isn’t the official video (as it doesn’t have one), but rather a karaoke cover by someone with account ‘jumbombon’. I adore her voice, she sounds so good. “With a kiss and a laugh, let's live like we're playing a prank.  We've found something that won't go away, even if we lose it all...”

15. Gen Hoshino - Koi (  星野 源 - 恋 )

A lovely song about “koi” (love). It is an OST of a romcom drama called NigeHaji. I don’t understand at first why it has so many views on YouTube, but as I listen more it somehow get stuck in my head. The song is pretty cute. “Everyone in this world exists in twos, that’s why.”

16. Motohiro Hata - Rain (  言の葉の庭 Rain / 秦基博 )

Is it the right mood for this song? But everytime I listen to this song, I feel so calm. It is an OST of Kotonoha no Niwa, a nice movie directed by Makoto Shinkai. You should see it if you have time, it is such an eye-candy movie. “I no longer have the strength to grasp the sky that’s on the verge of tears.”

17. MACO - love letter

My new favorite soloist! I love her songs. Again, I can’t find any official lyric for this song, so with the help of Google Translate, the lyric goes something like this. “Looking closer at the day, the beginning of two stories.”

Mood #5: honorable mentions

More like I’m not so sure about these songs. I like them, but haven’t listened to them enough to say that I really like the songs... But they are worth to checked out!

18. Yasuhiro Konishi - Tokyo wa Yoru ni Shichiji ~the night is still young) (  東京は夜の七時 -リオは朝の七時 )

It’s a nice and catchy song. “It’s 7 at night at Tokyo.”

19. sasakure.UK - A Soliloquy of The Boy who Cried Wolf feat. Cana(Sotte Bosse)

There are many representation of the song, which you can read in the YouTube comments. I simply think this song is nice. "My friend's friend was eaten! oh what imprudence, what imprudence."

20. RADWIMPS - Weekly Shonen Jump ( 週刊少年ジャンプ - RADWIMPS )

A very interesting song about wanting an out-of-this-world life instead of ordinary, mundane life. At some point, that is the reason why I love reading manga so much. It’s a place for me to escape reality. “I was dreaming of a future, one like something out of Shonen Jump.” 

Aaand that was it! Phew! Before I know it, it’s getting too long. I write this post (mainly) for the sole reason of gathering things that is scattered out in my head, but if you can enjoy one or two of the songs that I mentioned above, I will be very glad to know! 

That’s it for this post! I’ll see you around.