#HEY TEAM I MADE MYSELF SAD

[theverystrangegirl27]

. ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁

I'd Tell Them Put Me Back In

. ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

Summary: Daniel, being just a week away from leaving for war, devotes your body and soul to memory.

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, praise kink, light breeding kink

Daniel makes love to you like you're something holy, something divine. He carves his hips into yours, cradling your head so your face is tucked up into his neck.

He lives for the soft, wet gasps for breath you let out as he buries himself inside of you.

Daniel kisses your temple.

“I know, pretty girl, I know.” He coos, sweet as ever.

“Danny,” you whimper, mouth hanging open around sharp, breathless pants.

Daniel shushes you, thrusting deeply.

“Feel so good, made f'me, angel.” He grunts, teeth grit as he moves to press his forehead to yours.

“Look at me, Y/N, c'mon baby.”

You try, eyelids fluttering as they struggle to stay open. His pretty blue eyes have you captivated, and you roll your hips to meet his next thrust.

He smiles, lazy and loving.

“There she is, there's my girl.”

You feel too fucked out to respond verbally, flushed pink all the way down to your chest. All you can do is lock your arms around his neck and pull Daniel down for a sloppy, uncoordinated kiss.

He groans into it, lost in the very sensation of you. If he could, Daniel would make a home for himself between your legs, a place of worship in the spread of your hips. God made you for him, the dip of your waist fitting perfectly into his hands.

Your cunt pulses around him, and you let out a beautiful high cry that sounds like a chorus of angels welcoming him home.

“Fuck,” He moans into your neck, his hips working faster. “God almighty, baby, fuck!”

Your legs are wrapped around Daniel, keeping him pressed tight against you, and you stroke his hair as he chases his own orgasm.

“Please, Danny, I want it,” you whisper, voice trembling and soft as his hips begin to stutter. “Give me your baby, please, please -”

“Y/N-” Daniel gasps, breathing hard as he fills you up. You moan happily, kissing across his face as he catches his breath, hips stilling as he presses into you as deeply as he can.

With another soft moan, he rests his head in the crook of your neck, kissing the sweat-salty skin there. Daniel's hands hold your waist, gentle and kind, as you both take a moment to collect yourselves.

You watch his face, how his eyelashes flutter across his cheek bones, the way his lips part. You stroke Daniel's back, fingernails raising goosebumps in their wake.

“I don't want you to go.” You say softly.

He lifts his head, eyes immediately softening when they meet yours.

Daniel reaches up, cupping your beautiful face in both hands.

“You know I have to.” He says, though you can tell it pains him to say it. You nod, smiling though it doesn't reach your eyes.

“I know.”

He leans in to kiss you. Daniel's so gentle with you, like you're the most precious thing he's ever had the privilege to hold. You know he'll make a fantastic father when he comes home.

If he comes home.

That thought makes you tear up a little, and you sniffle as he pulls away.

“Hey,” Daniel soothes, wiping away the lone tear falling down your cheek. “Hey, pretty girl, none a’ that now.”

“I'm sorry,” you whimper, embarrassed but so scared for your man you can't help it. “Just, what if something happens and you're all alone and I can't-”

“Y/N,” He interrupts gently. He strokes your cheeks with his thumbs. “I'm gonna do my best to come back to you, honey.”

Daniel kisses you briefly before continuing.

“I promise you that.”

You nod, looking up at him with those pretty tears stained eyes that drive him wild. He can't help but kiss you again.

“‘Sides,” He says with a small smile. “S'long as I got the good Lord on my side, I think I'll be just fine.”

You smile back, fingers going to the golden cross dangling from the chain around his neck.

You bring it to your lips, pressing a kiss to the heated metal.

“I love you, Danny.”

Daniel gathers you up in his arms, his softening cock pulling out of you as he rearranges you both. Once you're lying on his chest, he kisses the top of your head.

Staring up at the ceiling, he thinks about the future, how he'll be halfway around the world by next week.

“I love you too, angel.”

[stargiirl27]

“Even in a scary place like this, Charlie makes me feel safe.”

[heyjudeb]

I'm proud of you - Jude Bellingham

Summary: Comforting sad and defeated Jude after England's loss. Warning: Sad moment, comforting Words: <1k

The referee blows the final whistle.

It was over. England lost. It all happened too quickly. Spain scoring in the last minutes didn't even give us time to process the situation.

I was sitting in the stands with Jude's family. We all shed a tear once the Spanish players started celebrating. Seeing Jude go off to the bench and kick something was a heartbreaking yet scary sight for me. Instantly, I knew that was going to be a sight for the media.

He's not like that at all. He just really wanted this win. With people being all over him, critiquing him, he really wanted to prove them wrong, to make England proud. I couldn't be more proud of him, though. He achieved amazing things in this competition.

As I watched him from afar, I wished I could just run down and hold him, tell him it was okay. I knew how much he had invested in this tournament, how much he had sacrificed. His dedication and his passio were the qualities that made him extraordinary. Those were the reasons why I fell in love with him.

Feeling an overwhelming urge to be closer to him, I excused myself from his family and made my way down to the lower stands, closer to the field. As I approached the edge, I saw Jude pacing back and forth, his frustration evident in every step. When he finally noticed me, our eyes locked. He hesitated for a moment, then walked over.

With his help, I crossed the barrier and immediately fell into his arms, holding his head tightly into my neck. I could feel him shaking from all the emotions he was going through.

"I messed up," he muttered, his voice muffled against my shoulder.

"No, you didn't," I said firmly, my hand gently running through his hair. "You were incredible, baby. You gave it your all." He pulled back slightly, his eyes filled with tears. "It wasn't enough. It wasn't fucking enough." "Hey," I cupped his face gently, putting my forehead against his. "Listen to me. You were amazing out there. You fought so hard, and everyone saw it."

He didn't know what to say. I could see he wanted to let go of everything he was feeling, but the words wouldn't come.

"Just stay calm, baby," I tried to comfort him, reminding him that losing is part of the game and keeping his composure is important. "You can use this to come back even stronger."

I knew my words might not have a big impact on him in that moment. It was all still raw and fresh for him, so I simply held him tighter in my arms. He pulled back slightly, his eyes still glistening. "I have to go, baby. They're going to do the ceremony."

"I know," I said softly. He kissed my forehead.

"I'll meet you afterwards," I told him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

He nodded, giving me one last look before turning and walking towards his teammates. As I walked up the stands to where his family was, I felt a mix of pride and heartache.

After England had their moment, Jude walked up to us and hugged his family. They all expressed how proud they were of him, trying not to show any sadness in front of him.

He sat down with his head low. I gently lifted his chin, earning a small, faint smile from him.

"I'm sorry for disappointing you guys," he managed to say to them.

I sat on his lap, holding him close to my chest. It pained me to see him like this, unable to erase his sadness.

"You never disappoint us, Jude," his mom reassured him, holding his hand tightly.

I arrived at my hotel room feeling exhausted and heartbroken for Jude. He had to return to the hotel with the team. There was nothing I wanted more than to have him in my arms and try to ease his sadness, even just a little. I was about to get into bed after finishing my nighttime routine when I heard a faint knock on the door. I opened it to find Jude standing there, his shoulders slumped and a tired look on his face. "They told me it's okay," he said quickly, grabbing my hand and leading me to the bed.

He took off his shirt and sweatpants and collapsed onto the bed, pulling me with him. His head immediately rested on my chest as he hugged me tightly.

"It's going to be okay, baby," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his head and kissing his forehead repeatedly. "These bad feelings will pass, trust me."

I ran my fingers through his hair, knowing it helped him relax and fall asleep. I kept kissing his forehead and cuddling him until I felt his grip around my waist loosen slightly, indicating he had fallen asleep.

"You'll always be my champion, baby," I whispered softly." I love you so much, Jude Bellingham."

[homestylehughes]

kiss it better

pairing(s): jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: jack's injury takes a toll on his and y/n's relationship, when tensions come to rise. emotions get the best of them and, feelings are hurt and tears fall. but that's nothing a little kissing or more can fix.

warnings: smut 18+ (idk what happened..), lots of angst, emotional reader and jack. cussing, fluff, cuteness, use of pet names and y/n.

wc: 3k

authors note: hi my little loves!! i'm back with another jack fic... no surprise! BUT this is my second back to back upload. look at me. i wrote all of this in one day, BOOM. anyways! this one was a little emotional to write, i'm trying my hand at writing angst, i love angst. i wasn't going to write smut but HEY IT JUST HAPPENED LOL. so hopefully you guys enjoy!! reblog and like if you enjoy <3 as always much love!!

happy reading <3

The devils had a rough year, everyone knew it, with their season ending in a heartbreaking way. 

Jack had an even tougher year, his season being filled with 2 injuries that led his season to end early, so he could undergo shoulder surgery. We all knew this was coming, it was only just a matter of time.

This time it hit Jack harder than the times before, he felt like he let his team, fans, and family down. 

Resting and recovering wasn't something Jack liked to do, he’s always been a go go go person, always doing something, always on the ice. 

 Jim and Ellen went with him to Colorado for his surgery, I stayed back and waited for his arrival back to Jersey. When he arrived back from Colorado from his surgery on Saturday, everything was fine. The first few days had been pretty easy for Jack, sleeping for most of the time. Only getting up to eat, shower, with my help and take his meds. 

He had been home for a week before tensions in our home started to rise. 

I woke up to a loud noise coming from the kitchen I think, rubbing my eyes quickly. As I lifted up out of bed, I turned to Jack's side of the bed, to see that he's not there. 

Quickly slipping on my slippers I make my way down stairs, to see Jack in the kitchen trying to fix himself a bowl of cereal. As I make my way further into the kitchen I see that the milk is spilled all over the counter on the floor, with the bowl also on the floor broken into pieces. 

I hear Jack mumbling words under his breath that I can't quite make out, but I'm assuming none of them were things I wanted to hear. 

Jack spots me before I even open my mouth to speak. “Shit i'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you up,” he says, looking at me. 

“ I just wanted to make myself breakfast, but I can't even do that.” His head hung low as speaks. I could hear the sadness in his voice. 

“Jack it's okay, I promise” I say, making my way towards him. “Let me clean this up, and then I'll make you something, okay?” 

“NO!” Jack says loudly, the raise of his voice catching me off guard. “No, I can clean up my own mess. I made it.” 

Taking a deep breath, trying to choose my words carefully, I can already feel the tension in the room rising. 

“At least let me help,” I said quietly, not wanting to upset him. “I don't need your help y/n.” Jack says aggressively, “you've been helping and taking care of me all week.” he says as he turns to grab a towel to clean up the spilled milk.

I stood there in shock, Jack had never talked to me like that before. Anger and sadness ripe through my body. My head is telling me to fight back, but my heart is telling me not too. 

Im hot on his heels, following behind him, “jack.'' I called out his name, his back turned to me, as he began to clean up the mess. I get no response, “Jack'' I say again but a little bit louder this time, which still doesn't get a reaction from him.

My head is beginning to win, now wanting to fight back. I go to grab the towel out of his hands, throwing it in the sink behind me. Grabbing his hip, to turn him towards me so I can look at him. 

His eyes are locked on the ground, not looking at me. “Jack.” I try again for the third time. “Talk to me, what's going on?” softly saying to him, bringing my hand to his chin to lift his face up, to look at me. 

Jack is quick to rip his face from my hand, “i don't want to talk” he says looking straight at me now. Tears of anger, sadness, frustration swimming around in his eyes. “I'm going to clean up my mess, and you’re not going to help, leave it alone.” he says sternly at me.

My eyes are beginning to fill with tears of my own, not wanting to cry in front of him, not wanting to speak and argue with him to make the situation worse. I nod at him and make my way out of the kitchen, tears falling on my face as soon as I do. 

I just wanted to help him, be there for him, he needs someone right now even if he won't say it. I know this is hard on him, mentally and physically, but that doesn't make his actions okay.

All of these thoughts are running through my head as I make my way to our shared bedroom.  Making my way to the closet, deciding to start getting ready for the day, there's no way I'll be able to sleep after this. 

Tears are still falling on my face, I want to go back down there and say something, help him, talk to him, give him a hug. Do anything that I can for him, but I know he doesnt want that right now, he made that very clear. The situation is already tense enough. 

While getting ready for the day, I decided to give Jack space today. It seems to be what he wants from me right now. The tears have stopped falling for now, but my thoughts and feelings haven't stopped wandering.

I hear Jack enter our room, as I finish up my makeup, my body instantly tenising up, taking a deep breath I make my way out the bathroom. Grabbing my jacket, my back turned to him, there's so many things I want to say to him but I keep them to myself. 

I can feel Jack making his way closer to me, his front facing my back, his hand sliding on my waist. 

“Baby” he quietly says, the sound of his voice making me nervous. Taking a deep breath, I turn to face him, my eyes beginning to water again. Our eyes locked, I can tell he's been crying. I want to reach out to him, but i don't, scared of his reaction. 

Jack's hand is still on my waist, pulling me slightly closer to him. I'm the first to speak, I can't handle the silence anymore. “I'm going to run a few errands, I'll be back in a few hours. Text me if I need anything "I say softly, looking at the ground.

“I want to talk” Jack speaks again, I internally scoff at him, so now you want to talk. 

“I don't want to talk to you right now jack.” I say, making my way towards the bedroom door. Jack followed behind me, “that's a little childish don't you think? walking away, when i'm trying to talk to you” he says a little louder this time.

Anger is flowing through my veins, hot angry sad tears are now falling down my cheeks. “You don't get to speak to me like that.'' I say a wip my body around to face him. “You don't get to decide when we talk, or when I want to talk to you! '' I say with a voice full of venom. “You didn't want to talk 45 minutes ago, when I tried to talk to you. So yes jack, I am walking away. I have things to do. I don't want to be around someone who treats me like shit when I’m trying to be there for them” 

My voice is losing its battle of being strong, my emotions are winning, as my voice begins to trail off. I'm not stopping there, quick to cut off jack as he opens his mouth. 

“Actually, we are going to talk now.” I say, throwing my jacket on the ground. “I am trying my best to be the best I can for you right now. As much as you won't admit it, you need me right now, you're so stubborn that you won't let me. Let me be there for you, let me help you, we are in this together, stop acting like you are doing this alone.” 

“I know this is hard on you in so many ways, I'll never know what you're going through, but let me be there, talk to me. This isn't easy on me either, seeing the person you love the most in pain and you can't help them.” I'm beginning to sob at this point, trying my best to get everything out that I want to say. I'm not sure if I'll have the strength to do it again. 

Taking a few steps, to stand in front of Jack, grabbing his face in my hands, tears also streaming on his face. He leans into my touch this time, instead of pulling away. 

“I love you so much, don't push me away, please.'' I say staring in his eyes, looking for a response. Instead of words, Jack pushes his lips to mine, the kiss surprising me, knocking me off my feet almost. My hands never leave his cheeks, our mouths moving in sync, in a passionate kiss. 

Jack pulled away first, lips swollen, our chests both rising. “I'm so sorry” Jack begins “ I'm so grateful for your help and love during all of this” “this” he gestures to his shoulder which is sitting strapped up in a brace. “This is dragging me down. I hate it. I can't do anything for myself, i feel so bad when i ask for help im scared that I'm annoying you.” he says, “you'll never annoy me, Jack.'' I say while running my finger under his eyes, wiping away the tears. 

“Thank you for being here for me. I do need you, I'll always need you.” he finishes, before I have the chance to speak, jack is reconnecting our lips.

 Walking us back towards the bed, where he sits on the edge, his free arm urging me to sit on his lap. I pull away quickly, “ Jack, I can't. I don't want to hurt you” 

“You wont hurt me baby, what's hurting me is you not being on my lap, kissing me. Now get up here” he says with a smirk, pulling my body down to rest on top of his. 

Once I'm settled safely on his lap, Jack immdentially pulls my face down, to reconnect our lips together. 

Our makeout session is picking up, our hips grinding together, lips moving frantically together, jacks tongue slipping into my mouth, clashing with mine.

We haven't been this close in awhile, I've missed his body, his lips on mine. With another roll of my hips, Jack pulls his lips back groaning, throwing his head back.

Giving me the perfect access to his brace free shoulder, kissing and sucking on exposed skin of his neck. His grip on my waist tightening as our bodies move together. 

“Baby, I need more. Please.” Jack whines out to me, “I need to see you, I want to feel you, please, please” 

I pull back from his neck, his eyes filled with desperation. “Are you sure? I don't think we should, your shoulder, I don't want to hurt you jack.” I can see his heartache when I say those words to him. 

“Baby, I'm okay. I need you so badly, fuck” he says breathlessly as he beings to move our hips together again. I moan, as Jack connects our lips again, his hand sliding under my shirt, urging me to pull it off. In a quick motion I pull it above my head, leaving me in my bra. 

“Off. off. I want it off baby '' Jack says pulling at the straps of my bra. I reach behind me to unclip it, throwing it somewhere behind me. 

Jack is quick to grasp one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking and lightly biting it, the sensation causing me to moan out from above him. “Fuck Jack, yes fuck.” our hips moving at a quicker space, the dampness between my legs growing by the second, I can feel Jacks bulge swell benenth me. 

“Jack.” I moan out as he sucks and licks both of my breasts. “Jack i need more fuck, but i dont want to hurt you.'' I whimper. “I know baby I can feel it” he says in between the kisses his trailing up my neck. An idea pops into my head as his lips are about to meet mine again, I pull away. “move and sit up against the headboard.” I say to him, Jack's eyes widen in surprise. 

I get off of him, and he quickly makes his way to the top of the bed, his back resting against the headboard.

I began to unzip my jeans, pulling them down my legs along with my underwear, leaving me completely bare in front of him. I began to crawl to Jack on the bed. I reached him, grabbing the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them down his legs, leaving him bare. 

I take in his state, eyes swimming with lust and love, pupils blown, chest falling, lips swollen. He looks beautiful, brace and all.

Wasting no more time, I sit myself back down on his lap, his cock resting warm and hard against my inner thigh. “Hi” I said to him, “Is that what you wanted? Want me to kiss everything better?” I say, grabbing the base of his cock, lifting up so I can align myself with him.

Without warning I sink down on Jack's cock, the both of us groaning at the same time. I'll never get used to the way Jack feels inside me, the burn between my thighs feels dealicious, I want more. I need more. 

“Fuck baby.” Jack whines out, his free hand grabbing my waist harshly. “I need you to move please.” “like this?” I say as I raise up slightly and slide back down on his cock.

“Yes, like that baby, fuck. More. More.” Jack says as he's looking up at me, so desperate and needy. 

I decide I'll stop tourchoring the both of us, as I lift off of him completely and sink down again. The action causing me to throw my head back in pleasure. “Fuck jack you feel so good” i say as I begin to ride at him at a slow pace. 

“Faster, fuck” jack groans from below me, getting tired of the pace he begins to thrust his hips to mine. 

“Right there jack please”. The angle of this thrusts hits my clit perfectly, causing shock waves to crash through my body. I can feel myself beginning to get tired, needing something to grab on too. 

Grabbing the headboard behind Jack, I lift myself off of him, and sink back down, putting all of my weight into the headboard, to create more leverage. 

The new movement causes my whole body to shutter. glancing below me, Jack's head is leaning back against the headboard, eyes closed, mouth open moaning below me.

As if he can feel me looking at him, he opens his eyes, pushes himself off the head board and takes my left nipple into his mouth, his eyes remain on mine. 

I began to speed up my movements, causing the whole bed to move below us. 

“Fuck right there baby.” Jack moans out to me, his hand moving from my waist to the back of my neck pulling it down to connect our lips. 

Moans spilling out between the both of us, I can feel the coil starting to build in my stomach, as our hips meet. 

“Jack fuck” i moan out i a throw my head back, now resting my hands on his hips. 

“I can feel you clintching around fuck baby.” “im almost there fuck” slamming myself harder down on his cock. 

Jack trailing his hand down the front of my body, stopping where we’re connected, his fingers finding my clit instantly, pinching and rubbing it between his fingers. 

“Oh my god, fuck” I drop my head to jacks neck, still working myself against him.

“Don't stop, don't stop.” I yell out to him, I can feel my legs beginning to shake

“Baby I'm about to cum.” Jack lifts his hand from my clit, forcely grabbing the back of my head, smashing our lips together, teeth and tongues clashing. 

One last snap of our hips, and I'm cumming. My head dropping to Jack's shoulder, incoherent things are falling from both our lips as we chase our highs together.

After a few seconds I gained enough strength to pull myself up. I can feel Jack's hand rubbing up and down my back. 

I sit back enough to fully look at him. Our chests falling quickly, trying to catch our breaths.  “That was the hottest thing I've ever seen.'' Jack says to me, his hand moving to push hair out of my face. “Did so good for me baby” I smile at him, before I'm quickly pulled back into reality when I remember his shoulder.

“Jack. your shoulder” i say frantically, “are you hurt? I knew we should have done this. Oh god "I say as I'm trying to push myself off of him quickly. 

“Hey hey, baby I'm fine.” Jack says as he grabs a hold of my face, his eyes locked with mine. “Hell, I'm more than fine. I'm great, all because of you” he smiles fully at me. 

My nerves settle a little, as I look over at him to make sure he's actually okay. Jack laughs at my concern as his face follows my movements. “Baby i promise i'm okay” he chuckles out to me again.

“Okay sorry, for caring about you.” I sigh dramatically out to him. “Hey now, none of that” he says, pulling my face closer to his again. 

“Come kiss me better.” he whispers out before connecting our lips. 

[gguk-n]

Max Unravelled

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Max accidentally made an account on google plus in 2013. He came across a poetry page and enjoyed reading them. He ends up friends with the poet. He loved the normalcy she brought to his life. He didn't realise when the comfort he felt for her turned into love.

{Max's POV}

2013

I was searching for something on my gmail account when a pop up for google plus came through; without much thought I clicked on it. Some how, I'm yet to figure that out, I ended up with a google plus account. One of the few accounts I got recommended was a poetry and story account. They wrote very eloquently; I could feel the emotions in every word. I started reading all their posts in my spare time and even commenting on the ones I liked. I found my self constantly checking back to their page to see if they posted something. Their poetry was relatable and understandable. I hope they always have a good day since their words always pick me up when I'm down.

The poet I had been enjoying so much is a girl, and her name is Y/N. She's around my age; I guess that's why I related to her work so much. We spoke for the first time ever on her birthday. She made a post about it being her birthday so I wished her. She was sad about not being able to enjoy her birthday, I felt bad for her so we talked for a while until dad called me to practise. That was the start of our friendship. We ended up talking on google plus a lot. We shared the same sense of humour and best of all, she didn't know about racing. It was like a breath of fresh air to not talk about racing. She doesn't even seem interested in it; so I can live as Max for a while now.

My birthday was shit but talking to her made everything better. I can't believe I got excited about talking to someone and that someone made me feel good even on one of my shittiest days. She's one of the nicest people I've had the pleasure of talking to. I really do wanna talk to her on phone, typing everything I want to say out feels tedious.

2014

I've gotten busier since this year with Formula 3. We barely get to talk anymore. She did send me her number and we chat on Whatsapp whenever we can. But obviously it is not the same. I've suggested talking on call a few time and she finally agreed; I just need to find the perfect time to get away from everything to talk to her. I felt so nervous to talk to her for some reason, what if she thought I was weird and didn't enjoy talking to me? What if she heard me and decided I wasn't fun? What if we had nothing to talk about? I called her while sitting in my driver's room, she picked up quite quickly after 2 rings to be exact.

Max- Hi, Y/N! Y/N- Hey, Max!! How are you? Max- I'm good, what about you? Y/N- Yeah, I'm good too. haha!! This is so weird talking to you. Max- yeah, you sound pretty. Why would I say that? That sounds so fucking creepy, I face palmed myself so hard. Y/N- You sound nice too. I mean....you have a nice voice. Max- haha, thanks, this is the first time some one has said that. She thinks I have a nice voice, do I? Y/N- soooo, what have you been up too?? You've been so busy lately. I could hear people outside the driver's room. I quickly locked the door before answering her question. Max- yeah, I've been busy with stuff. I'll be done soon for a while now. Y/N- That's great I need my best friend back! Did she just call me her best friend? I've never had a best friend before.

We ended up talking on calls a lot more. I would have her contact ringer saved with a separate ringtone so that I would know to answer it. She usually called at reasonable times, where ever I travelled as if she knew my schedule.

2015

I got signed with RedBull Racing's junior team, making me the youngest driver. It was such a surreal feeling. But this also meant I couldn't talk to Y/N as much as I wished I could. Training and the races kept me very busy. But she was very understanding and would always welcome me back, no matter how long I was gone for.

2021

The first time I'm regretting not telling what I do to Y/N was today when I won my first World Championship. I was surrounded by my team, my girlfriend and my family as I got out of the car after I finished P1 at Abu Dhabi but it felt strange; like I was missing someone. I wish I could share this win, the biggest in my life yet, with the person who makes me feel so special yet so myself.

When I asked her about Formula One, she didn't know about, she didn't even know the prominent figures. So, I wasn't as worried about her finding out but I did worry now; since my win was controversial according to the media. However, she never asked. Was she really unaware or playing dumb? I wasn't sure if I should be grateful I get to be just Max or sad that I can't share a huge part of my life with my best friend.

2023

Y/N and I have been friends for the past 10 years. Time really flies. I've gotten a lot better at balancing my personal and work life. Y/N is my well kept secret; like I'm the only one who knows her. She moved out for college and we've only video called since. She is still funny and still writes. I think it's so cool of her to stay passionate about what she loves and keeping at it. She loves my cats more than I love them sometimes, she get's so excited when I send pictures of them. She says they cheer her up and that Jimmy and Sassy are her virtual pets. They loved her too honestly, they would always recognise when she was on call and jump into my lap or the phone to see or hear her. She still doesn't know what I did for a living; we've kept that a 'secret' you could say. But really I just didn't know how to tell her I was a Formula One driver and a 2 time World Champion.

Today was like any other day, I hadn't spoken to Y/N at all. Whenever I called her, I would usually close/lock the door depending on who was at home. My girlfriend didn't know about Y/N. I didn't even know how to bring it up, honestly. I sat down on my SimRacing chair after I switched the livestream off. Her phone rang for a few times and then stopped ringing but she didn't answer the call. I tried again thinking maybe she was busy or didn't hear it. I called a couple times before texting her; no reply. I was freaking out. This was the first time in 10 years that she hasn't answered my calls. She won't even reply to my messages. I found myself pacing around the house. The door to the room opened to my girlfriend's daughter standing in front of me, "Maxie, why are you walking in circles?" She asked after observing me for sometime. "It's nothing" I said, trying to calm myself down more than give a reply to her question. All these horrible thoughts swirled through my mind; what if she was in an accident and no one knows? What if she got robbed? What if she hurt herself and can't get help? What was I supposed to do? I didn't even know where she lived. I just couldn't think straight. My hair was a mess with how much I was running my fingers through it, a few stands coming along when I almost pulled them out of frustration.

After 7 hours, she replied to my text. I had almost given up hope, but she said that she was fine and that her phone was about to die. I felt relieved knowing that she was ok. But the text was so out of character for her. I texted her everyday after that in hope of talking to her. We always spoke everyday and it had been years since we didn't speak for so long. Almost every text was left on delivered. I had a race this weekend which I won and went out to celebrate with everyone because they wanted me to tag along. I didn't see the text Y/N sent me a while after the race since I was at the club. I only saw it when I got home. As soon as I saw it, I called her. She answered after a few rings.

Max- Schat, how have you been? Haven't heard a word from you in days. You could clearly hear the worry in my voice. Y/N- I've been busy, school year ending and stuff. Why didn't you sleep yet? Max- You know my sleep schedule is non existent. Y/N- Yeah, I guess I do. What did she mean by that? Her voice seemed hoarse, was she sick?Y/N- You know how I do freelance editing Max- You've told me about it Y/N- The latest author I'm working with is a sports author. I was hoping you could help me since you are a walking encycylopedia. Max- sure schat, but what's up with you? You know I'm always there for you Y/N- Yeah it nothing, just stressed. Max- Take off, you deserve it I wish she took care of herself instead of working so hard without breaks. Y/N- The summer break is here soon, I'll be fine. So about that author... Max-Yeah, what sport does she write for? Y/N- Formula One. I don't really like reading lengthy articles and I'm sure one article wouldn't do a sport any justice. I felt the ground slip from under my feet. My palms had gotten sweaty suddenly. Max- You did not go through google yet, right? (I stammered out) Y/N- Oh no, what do you take me for? I got excited to learn about something new. Do you know who the reigning champion is? I felt like I was about to lose everything. I didn't know what to say, my mouth was dry. No matter what I said, I don't think I could fix this situation. Y/N- Some dude named Max Verstappen. You guys share the same first name. He has 2 cats too; named Jimmy and Sassy, who look exactly like your bengals. I mean he even looks like you, with horrible sleep schedule just like you. He even sounds like you. There was horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and my lungs felt like there was no air in them. Watching her tear up was the worst feeling.

Max- Schatje, I can explain. Y/N- You don't have to Max. I never asked you what you did. You don't have to explain anything. Max- I wanted to tell you, it just never came up in conversation. Y/N- I get it, it's difficult to tell your friend who has amounted to nothing that you are the World Driver's Champion, best of the best in Formula One. Max- Y/N, it's nothing like that. You're great, you're kind, you're funny. She laughed, but that stung my heart for the first time when her laugh was my favourite sound in the world. Y/N- Those are character traits I possess, they don't describe my career goals or achievements. I know I work 2 jobs to stay afloat while you make millions, I know I wish I was an author and not their editor, I know you probably thought I was too stupid to understand your rich and fancy world. Max- No, no, you're so talented. I've read your work and I'm sure the right publication will pick your work up. Y/N- I got rejected for the sixth time today. All of this is fine except that you lied to me about being single while having a girlfriend for years and having the happy family you dreamt off. You didn't have to introduce me to her; not like my boyfriends met you. But it would've been nice if I knew. Max- It just never came up. (I held my head in shame) Y/N- I...we joked about setting you up with someone all the time. Please don't. I get it, we didn't tell each other about work goals or what we did as a job but personal life; I literally told you about every guy I've ever been with. I felt bad telling you thinking you were single. I feel stupid right now. I wanted to reach out and wipe her tears but I couldn't. Max- I'm sorry,Y/N. I promise I won't hide anything anymore. Please, don't cry. Y/N- My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I majored in literature in Uni and now work as a primary school teacher and freelance editor. I'm trying to get my book published soon. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. This fucking hurt, everything she said and the way she said it. Max- Please don't do this. Y/N- I believe at least one of us should be honest. Max- Let me fix this. Y/N- Don't worry. There's nothing to fix. Max- Please don't say that. You mean a lot me. (I felt tears in my eyes.) Y/N- Me too. That's why, I need time. I'll talk to you when I'm ready. Max- Please, I can't lose you. I felt like my world was crashing. Y/N- You won't. I'll always be there for you. I just need time. Take care Max I was crying as she said it. Max- Bye, take care Y/N. I'll always be here. And the screen blacked out, I could see my reflection on the screen, tears streaming down my face.

After I was able to clear my head I texted her telling her that I would always be there for her and I would like to clear up the misunderstanding when she's ready. I spent the next few months thinking about her. It was starting to affect my relationship. I couldn't really give my girlfriend time when my mind was occupied with thoughts of Y/N. When my girlfriend brought it up how we were growing apart; I had a fight with her. I don't know what came over me, but not talking to Y/N or not knowing what was up with her was making it very difficult for me to focus on anything. The fighting became a constant after that. I didn't understand why she couldn't let me be. I missed my friend but she wouldn't get it.

I was SimRacing when Y/N's name popped up on my phone asking me to call her. I guess she was ready to talk it out. I really wished that this wasn't the end of our friendship. I really hoped that we could get over the misunderstanding and still be friends. I told the team I had some work and called her immediately. She answered like always; I waited for her to speak with baited breath. She started talking and we cleared everything up. I apologised for hiding the truth from her. I told her how much of a constant she was for me in my ever hectic life; how talking to her made everything better. She listened to me, I listened to her and then finally asked her to come to my home race. I wanted to meet her. I couldn't live knowing that I had the resources but didn't meet the one person that mattered to me the most. She was hesitant at first but I offered to get her the tickets and insisted on her joining me at the biggest race of the season for me and finally she agreed. I was over the moon. As soon as we ended the call, I sent her the tickets. I found myself counting down the days to the race for the first time.

I was waiting for her at the airport when she got here. My heart was beating very fast as I waited for her to come out. When I saw her; she was beautiful, shorter than I expected but she looked cute with her bag in one hand and a back pack on her shoulder, her hair in a low bun, a small smile graced her feature. I don't think I've noticed anyone with such detail ever before. Our conversation flowed easily. It didn't feel like it was the first time we were meeting. I dropped her at the hotel and went off to do media duty's at the paddock when I came back she was still asleep, traveling must've tired her out. She got dressed while I waited for her to get ready, even giving my 2 cents on what she should wear. She looked gorgeous, I couldn't help myself, staring at her. The black satin dress hugged her curves in all the right places. Her hair flowed down her back, the jewellery sparkling against her body. We went to have dinner at a fancy dutch restaurant. She loved the food especially the apple tart. The moan she let out as she devoured the dessert made blood rush downwards. I found my cheeks heating up, thankfully the whole place was dimly lit. We walked around for a while after the meal, she made fun of my name but I couldn't care less. I apologised and she accepted it and hugged me. Her arms were soft and the embrace warm. I found myself wrapping my arms around her, my face buried in her neck. I was scared I was gonna lose her, forever. I've never been scared to lose anything but a race until now and the thought of not having her in my life seemed scary. She consoled me and we headed back to the hotel.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful except for my girlfriend being pissed; she fought with about Y/N. I don't get what her problem is, she's just a friend I've known since forever. I'm just showing her around. I was giving interviews when I saw her talking to Lando, I saw them laughing along in the corner of my eye. It made me feel strange, there was this feeling in the pit of my stomach and I didn't like it. When I got back, Lando had left since it was his turn. She found Lando cute and it irked me, I was annoyed hearing her ask me to set her up with him. We got back to RedBull hospitality when my girlfriend asked me to talk to her, I left with her reluctantly leaving Y/N with Checo.

"Listen Max, I get it, she's your childhood friend and all, but it's so weird how she suddenly cropped up when I or for that matter any one knew nothing about her. People are saying stuff about us since she stepped on the paddock and the way you are dragging her along." my girlfriend spoke. "What are people saying? I will not stand any slander against her" I cut her off. She laughed dryly. "WOW, they are saying stuff about us, Max, us, that you are cheating on me with her. You've been so distant for months until a month ago, I didn't know what went wrong and you wouldn't talk either." she said running a hand through her hair. "It's nothing really. She just knows me as Max and not Max Verstappen and that's why I'm closer to her. Nothing more." I said. "It's pointless talking to you" she said turning around. "If we're done, I'm leaving, Y/N doesn't know anyone here except me." I said leaving for the door. She huffed before she followed me out. Y/N looked worried about what was going on between me and my girlfriend but I calmed her down and we spent the day together. She tagged along during quali too. I saw her praying before quali, it made my heart swell. I was starting pole and we spent the night watching a movie even though Y/N wanted me to rest before the race, I wanted to make the most of the little time we had.

Y/N hugged me before the race wishing me. I wanted to win so bad, I'd won here twice before but this was different. I wanted to win in front of her. I raced like a mad man and then I heard it. I crossed first and my happiness knew no bounds; knowing she was watching. I got out of the car and immediately ran to her; hugging her. It was cathartic. Y/N said my girlfriend looked annoyed, but I couldn't care less. I watched my girlfriend leave, annoyed. When I received the trophy at the top step of the podium knowing she was watching me from below made it so much more worth it. Y/N wanted to go out to celebrate my win and I wasn't one to say no. I went back to the hotel to get cleaned up and ready for the night.

I was greeted by my girlfriend in the room, it was dimly lit as she was sat at the corner of the bed with tears streaming down her face. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT MAX?" she screamed at me. "Am I a fucking joke? I let it slide, you said you were friends but the first person you go to after winning your race was her, what do you think people were whispering when you did that?" she said in between sobs. I didn't get what she was saying. "Do you like her?" she asked. "What? We're friends" I stated. She shook her head, "No, Max, you aren't. The way she looks at you is how I look at you. The way you look at her" She cried, "You've never looked at me like that" she lamented. "It's nothing like that" I began. "You should've respected me at the very least and broken up with me if you liked someone else, I'm not gonna be some girl's place holder till you can have her." she cried out. "You're not a place holder for her" I said. "Feels exactly like that" she said wiping her tears. I felt nothing my 2 year long relationship might be ending and I didn't care. I didn't even try to correct her, did I really like her? Was Y/N really more important to me? "We're through Verstappen, if you can't even fight for us, I'm not about to fight for us" she sighed dejected. I walked towards the bathroom to wash up while she packed up to leave. When I got out she was gone. I went to pick Y/N up.

She kept asking me about my girlfriend but I never told her that we broke up. I didn't want her to feel responsible for my decision. At the club, she got close to everyone pretty quickly. She was unstoppable, downing one drink after another. I hadn't touched alcohol since I was driving. The others kept handing her drinks much to my dismay. She asked me to come dance with her but I had the others to look after too. She was busy dancing surrounded by too many guys, one of them going as far as to touch her and grind against her. All I saw was red, I bid the guys good bye and stormed the dance floor to drag a reluctant Y/N with me; I ended up carrying her out on my shoulder. She wasn't very happy, screaming and hitting me till I put her down. She puked as soon as I put her down and joked about missing my expensive car, I didn't really mind if she hadn't since she was more important than the car. I got her medicine and left them at her side after putting her to bed.

We spent the next few days after the race sight seeing. Y/N brought up my girlfriend a few time and I ended up avoiding her. When we were cuddling while watching Barbie I felt my heart beating out of my chest as she scooted closer to grab tissue. When her hand brushed against my skin, it burnt and a weird feeling erupted in my chest. She seemed completely unaware of how she was making me feel. We fell asleep on the couch that night.

I wasn't able to avoid the girlfriend question any longer and told her that we broke up without making any eye contact on the way to drop her to the airport. My eyes stung and there was a lump in my throat; I wasn't sure it was because of my girlfriend or Y/N. I bid her farewell, she would turn back towards me to wave after every few steps; my eyes were blurry after sometime trying to prevent the tears from falling. I ended up crying after she left.

All the races after, I ended up going shopping after or before every race to collect some trinkets or stuff that was special to that place and mailing it to her with small notes attached. She would graciously open them in front of me on video call; the smile she gave me the first time she received was unparalleled. It made my stomach turn over. I wanted to make her smile every chance I got. That's how I ended up sending her a package after every race from every country until I got reprimanded by her for the excessive amount of gifts. She asked me not to send one after every race and stick to one or two in total; I was forced to agree to that request.

We were planning on spending Christmas and New Year together; she wanted to leave after Christmas but I was able to convince her to stay until I had to leave for pre-season training. I couldn't wait for the season to end and to spend the year end with Y/N. We celebrated me winning the championship on video call; even though I had hoped she could be present in person but it wasn't possible with her schedule. This championship felt better than the last two since I was able to celebrate it with her. 2021 me wouldn't believe me right now.

Y/N flew in as soon as winter break started for her. I had cleaned up the house as much as possible. I had told my cats about Y/N visiting who seemed excited. I picked her up from the airport and when we got home the cats were very excited to meet her; a lot more receptive than the other guests I've had over. We spent the next few days going to places and the Monaco GP circuit. She cribbed about walking the entire time we walked the path. It made me laugh.

The night before Christmas we fell asleep on the couch cuddling; I hadn't slept this well in a very long time. When I woke up, Y/N was no where to be seen. I sat up waiting for her to return when she came back, she looked so cute in her jumper and shorts with her hair a mess. We opened up presents after some time. She had gotten me a Sid plushie, an ugly sweater and perfume. I got her a Formula One book with my face, a coffee mug and a pendant. I wanted to get her more stuff but I was sure she would make me return it if she saw every thing. I think the house would be over run with the amount of stuff I wanted to get her. Then she brought the matching sweater she got with me; I put it on immediately. I wanted to match with her all the time. We had a bit of back and forth on the dinner but agreed on Turkish kabab.

New Year came too quickly, which meant Y/N would be leaving soon. We went clubbing on New Year eve. She didn't drink like the last time we were at the club but made friends with some of the guys there. Having a social butterfly for a friend was a bad idea. We counted the time down to midnight as the clock struck 12 and I turned towards her to celebrate I saw she was kissing one of the guys she had befriended when we entered. If the club was quite you could hear my heart shatter. That's when I realised that all these weird feeling and all the times I couldn't stop thinking about her was because I liked her, no scratch that, I loved her. I felt my heart constrict when she turned towards me and hugged me later. I didn't want to talk about it, this would ruin our friendship.

All I could think about was how it felt to watch her kiss another man. I hated it, the worst feeling, worse than DNFing or not winning. I hated knowing another man could touch her and feel her. I wasn't even sure how to bring it up since what were we if not just friends. I put myself into training for the upcoming season but those feelings I felt when she kissed another man were still fresh in my head and I couldn't get rid of them even if I tried.

I was able to convince her to join me during her spring and summer break. We had fun, I loved having her waiting for me at the end of the race. I didn't really enjoy all the media questions that had cropped up about Y/N when she was seen with me, before or after the race. During my summer break, I spent it at her place. When I got there, it was a small apartment; but it had a homely feel. She would cook food for me and we would watch movies; I had a few commitments with the team and would leave for some time but then be back. It was so nice to have some one to come home to. When she was having her book launch, I went to meet her at her launch with a bouquet of flowers. "Congratulations" I said while handing her the flowers and giving her a hug. "Thank you" she replied, a smile playing on her lips. We had celebratory dinner after. Immediately after that, we were on the news. It read that I had a girlfriend, she kept apologising but it didn't matter. It made me a little warm, I'm not sure what emotions I felt hearing people speculate that she was my girlfriend.

I flew back to Netherland for the race early, she would only be joining me on the race day due to work. It dampened my mood but there wasn't much I could do about it. She flew in the morning of the race; it made my day watching her walk out of the airport. We talked all the way to the hotel where she got changed and we headed to the paddock. I had thought it through; after the qualifying, I had planned on telling her how I felt. I was gonna win this race and confess to her. Knowing that I can't hold her while someone else can was eating away at me and I wanted to take the chance before it slipped away from me.

I started the race P2 and finished it at P2. In the final laps, the only thoughts running through my head were, I really wanted to ask her out as a race winner, I can't do that now. She probably doesn't even like me like that, did I really want to ruin everything I had with her. I stumbled out of the car towards her, a big smile on her face. And suddenly I said it; "I wanted to ask you out as a race winner" emotions were running high. She insisted me to continue and when I did, she agreed to go out with me. I was over the moon, my head was reeling. This race ending was not what I hoped for but Y/N's answer was something I really was hoping for.

She waited for me in the driver's room. I couldn't help but not touch her. Her skin against mine send electric shocks through me, I couldn't help but smile at the feeling of her against me. I wanted to have this feeling for the rest of the life. I wanted to have her next to me; it took me a while to figure that out but now that I had, I didn't want to let go. I loved her and I wanted her.

We were both in the hotel room at the end of night in each other’s embrace, "Can't believe you're my boyfriend" she exclaimed. "Can't believe you're my girlfriend either." I exclaimed back. "I've liked you since I've known you" she mumbled. "What?" I asked shocked. "Yeah, I've always had a crush on you. Teenage me would lose it right now if she saw" she said. "I'm sorry it took me so long" I muttered pressing a kiss against her lips. "better late then never" she laughed wrapping her arms around my neck, flipping me to straddle my hips. She bent down to kiss me again.

I could spend the rest of my life like this, if it meant I could have her forever.

Hope you had fun. Thank you for enjoying the story!!

[st7rnsangels]

— rumours put to rest. chris sturniolo | versus tour

sypnosis. with all the girls flirting and complimenting with y/n’s famous boyfriend, chris sturniolo, she begins to feel self conscious of if she actually deserves this mini-celebrity she caught herself, especially with their relationship being a secret. bf!chris realized this and decided to put the rumours to rest once and for all.

warnings. flangst? self-consciousness, crying / comfort, fem!reader, that’s really all.

a/n. not sure where this inspiration came from but i’m feeling sappy today. also first post!!!!! like and reblog to support your favourite writers<3333

“ the need to be the best before the need to rest .. “

this was it; the versus tour was finally here, and my boyfriend was going on stage in front of hundreds of people.

a lot of girls found him attractive, that i knew was inevitable. but i could never get rid of this sickly feeling.

while he was out there, being admired by all these pre-teen girls, i was sat inside the trailer watching through a live-camera.

i wanted to be out there. i wanted to be the one admiring him.. he is my boyfriend of six months, after all.

and don’t get me wrong — chris is an amazing boyfriend, and i couldn’t have asked for a better soulmate to be paired with, but i was sick of being a secret.

i knew staying secret was the better choice, both for him and for me. i didn’t like the spotlight, and i didn’t want to deal with the rude comments by jealous girls, and he simply wasn’t ready to reveal our relationship yet.

i understood it, all of it.

yet, i couldn’t help but feel horrible about the situation i put myself in.

i watched as the girl brought on stage to be on his team was a little overly touchy, grabbing his arm, talking to him.

it was all in good-heart, i knew that, yet.. i still felt that twinge of my heart at every touch or glance or words spoken between them, telling me that it should be me on that stage making him laugh under his breath.

it hurt. my heart hurt from the guilt and sadness of being remained a secret, and i didn’t like it. at all.

i quickly wiped the tear from my cheek as i tried to remain positive seeing my boyfriend happy, and smiling, but it was hard with the constant flow of tears from my eyes that just didn’t seem to stop.

shit. why am i crying?

a voice is spoken from my phone, “alright, guys, we have to get going, but thank you so much for coming, it was a blast tonight!” nick said in the mic, turning to his brothers to signify it was time to go.

“awwww!” the crowd erupts.

“thank you guys!” matt’s distant voice says to the mic as he grabs his jacket and moves toward the exit.

chris waves goodbye to his parter that was brought onto the stage, giving her a quick smile and waving to the crowd as he followed his brother.

fuck. why did that hurt so bad? it shouldn’t, really.

i shut my phone off, tossing it across the tiny tour bed, and curled into myself. i brushed my tears away, running fingers through my hair.

it was all lighthearted, that’s what i should be thinking.

but the girl he was with was so beautiful. the kind of beautiful that makes your breath stop and your head feel dizzy.

looking at myself in the mirror across from the bed, i sigh.

chris should be with that kind of girl: effortlessly pretty, good smile, bubbly personality.. yet, i was the opposite. he clicked with her, because that was his match — the same loudness, eagerness, excitement and energy, she should be his type of match.

before i can spiral into my thoughts any longer, the door to the tour bus opens.

“oh my god, i’m spent.” nick huffs, placing his wallet and phone on the small table and falling against the couch.

“tell me about it, all day travelling and then a three hour show? i’m exhausted.” matt says, dropping his keys and jacket against the kitchen counter.

realizing they had already made their way to the bus, i quickly wipe my tears.

“hey, y/n.” nick waves, and i peek my head out, flashing the best smile i could.

“hi, nick.” i say back, huffing at the small croack in my voice.

and then, there was chris.

i watch as he walks over to me, smile on his face as he grabs my cheeks and kisses my forehead. “hi, baby.” he says, pulling away to look at my face.

and when his eyes land on my puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, his brows furrow.

“are you.. okay?” he whispers, quickly glancing to nick and matt who shrug their shoulders. he lets go of my face, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

“yeah, um, i’m — i’m fine.” i sniff, wiping my tears, “just missing home.”

his eyes run over my face, almost as if inspecting me.

he leans closer, whispering. “do you wanna go outside? so we can talk.”

i glance toward nick and matt, pretending not to be listening, yet they were horrible at hiding their curiosity.

looking back to chris, i nod. he gives me a smile, lending out his hand which i take. the warmth of his hand seeps into my palm, giving me almost instant comfort he seems to always be able to give me.

he leads me toward the door, making a silent, quick gesture and muttering for matt to move his ass, which he does.

and as soon as that door opens, and i take a step outside, i feel instantly calmed down. i realized now that i had spent basically the last twelve hours inside that trailer.

chris squeezes my hand as we walk down the road, listening to the soft sounds of the forest and buzzing streets of the city ahead of us.

and as we found a place against a wall, he sighs and stops, leaning against it.

“so.. what’s wrong?” he says, letting go of my hand, wiping a small tear that i hadn’t realized ran down my cheek.

“i dunno, i just —.. i think i’m overreacting, it’s nothing to really—“

“baby.” chris cuts my off, resting a hand on my cheek, “it’s just me,” he tucks my hair behind my ear, “talk to me.”

i bite my lip. ponder his words.

“that girl you were partnered with today on stage?” i offer.

“what about her?” he asks.

“it’s just.. i dunno.” i look to my hands, picking at my nails, “she was so beautiful. and funny, and outgoing..”

his brows furrow, “where are you going with this?”

my teeth sink back into my lip, “do you ever.. think about how different our lives are?

“i mean, i’m this college student, becoming a teacher, and you’re a celebrity.” i shrug my shoulders, “do you ever think about being with.. with someone more compatible?”

“wait, just—“

“that girl in there, she was just like you.” i chuckle, before sniffing, “loud, funny, all bubbly and smiley like that..”

“y/n—“

“and i’m just.. some book nerd.”

“Y/N.” chris says, placing two hands on my shoulders. “please, let me talk.

my lips form a tight line, my throat aching from a sob wanting to come from my throat.

“i love you.” he says in a breathy tone, “only you. i don’t care about how different our lives are; you’re the only girl i want.”

“you.. you love me?” i whisper.

a smile forms on his lips as he brushes a thumb across my cheek.

“of course i do, dummy.” he says, pulling me closer by a hand on my back clothed by his hoodie — his favourite hoodie.

“now, can you stop crying so i can kiss you?” he says, licking his lips, “‘been thinking about you the whole show.”

i giggle. “you’re such a loser.”

“only for you, baby.”

[billthedrake]

I've been wanting to write a chubby chaser story for a while, and this is what I came up with. It's not everyone's cup of tea, I know, but for those into it, I hope to do a follow up to go deeper.

CHASER BAIT

I reracked the weights and sat up on the bench. I'd have a better workout with a spotter, but I also enjoyed the quiet of the Stanford weight room at moments like this. It was summer session, and the football team was starting their summer pre-season camp. I'd have some consultations with a number of the athletes later on that afternoon, but for now they were all in a morning-long meeting.

All except for one.

"Hey Coach," came the familiar voice, though it took me a half second to place it. But I looked up to see Tyler Mills, all 6 foot 3 of him. Tyler was must have been a senior now. I'd worked a lot with him in his sophomore year, after he got his knee banged up pretty bad and had to rehab after surgery.

"Tyler," I said. "How's it going, man? How's the knee?"

I saw a look of sadness sweep behind the bright affable smile. "OK, I guess," he said, shuffling some on his feet. He was wearing shorts and an oversized Stanford T, and even beneath the draping shirt, I could tell that trim, buff Tyler Mills had put on a few pounds. "A lot better, actually, but I'm not on the roster now. They still let me come get a work out in, you know, hang out with the guys."

My heart ached for the guy. They hadn't taken away his scholarship, but the injury had taken away his football dreams.

I gave a sympathetic nod but mostly flashed a buddy kind of smile. "You know, if you want me to take a look at your knee, I can."

I was surprised by the flash of thrill in his brown eyes. "For real?" Then catching himself, he added, "I don't want you to have to do anything you're not supposed to, Coach."

I wasn't one of the main coaching staff. Instead I'd been brought in to do a combination of strength coaching and physical therapy for all the big Stanford teams, but football especially. Half the jocks called me Mr. Carson, half just Coach C. Tyler was in the Coach camp.

"You can see how busy I am right now," I joked, gesturing around to the near empty weight room. "How's this? You can spot me for the next couple of sets, and then we'll go get set up in the back room."

He bounded over behind the rack like an excited puppy.

He wasn't the only thing excited. I had to will my cock to stay soft or at least normal sized as I lay back and could see up into that oversized shirt. Tyler Mills had a classic ex-jock beer belly. Probably a solid twenty pounds that hung in a perfectly round swell just over the hem of his shorts.

I channeled that flash of lust into a great set, even with the extra weight. And I forced myself to be normal as I made small talk with Tyler as I rested a second.

Most of the time I'm professional as can be. I'm an out and proud gay dude, even if I keep a low profile at work. Even though I'm around very in-shape young athletes, there's generally not my type. It took a number of years to fully admit it, and many more years to fully explore it, but I'm a chubby chaser. A couple of the D-line guys have the girth that might capture my attention, but generally I was safe, no matter how hands-on I might be in my job.

Tyler Mills wasn't a chub, but something about that belly made that sense of safety go out the window.

He spotted me for a max-weight rep, then encouraged me like I was one of his gym buddies. "Beast!" he grunted.

I rubbed out the soreness then stood up from the bench. If I didn't know better, I would have thought Tyler was looking at me in that way, but he made some comment about how in shape I was. "You're definitely giving me goals, Coach," he said.

I was in shape. I'd been a lacrosse player at Maryland and after doing some personal training after college, I'd gone for my PhD in kinesiology. I was now religious about working out and eating right. I was 39 and not going to enter my 40s without doing my damnedest to resist getting older.

I led Tyler back to the room that was set up with a table and some basic rehab equipment - bands, small weights, balancing balls and the like.

I had him get on the table and asked him to update me.

"I've been doing my exercises, Coach," he said. "Maybe not religiously, but you know..."

I nodded and sat down in a chair next to the table. I was thankful for the XXL T-shirt and the way it didn't show off Tyler's belly. Tyler's legs were still big and tautly muscled.

"You able to do leg day now?" I asked, my hands massaging the right quad muscle and working down to knee.

"Yeah," he said. "With some adaptation."

"How's this feel?" I asked. A year and a half ago, the wide receiver would be wincing in pain the moment I touched anywhere near his knee.

"Normal," he said. He was looking down at me seriously, and I could tell the memories of our earlier rehab sessions were coming back to him.

I worked closer to the joint and pressed in with my fingers.

"Oh!" he gasped. "That hurts."

I let go and massaged down his calf. Then back up to the hamstrings. His legs were hairier than last time I'd had a PT session with him. I loved how soft his light brown fur was.

"Your hamstrings are way tight," I observed.

I pulled back and patted his thigh. "All right, let's do some simple body weight squats."

I worked him through a number of diagnostic exercises. He did them well, but quickly we found where his range of motion was compromised and the spots that gave him a sore pain.

He looked at me expectantly. The ex-jock had a soft scruffy beard now, kept trimmed, and he looked about five years older than when I last worked with him. But he still was young and had that innocence to his face.

"I can give you some new exercises to work on," I said. "What do you think of a weekly PT session... to check in?"

That surprised Tyler. "God, Coach, that would be incredible."

"It'd have to be bright and early," I said. The Athletics Department had a full day for me, and I knew I couldn't prioritize a kid not on the roster. But I could take an earlier train. I was probably crazy to volunteer this, but I was thinking with my dick, I knew. Besides, Tyler was a nice guy. One of those jocks who could be a beast on the football field but a sweetie off.

"I got nothing else going on, Coach," he agreed affably.

I gave him a bro-ish fist bump and told him I should get back to my workout. I had only twenty minutes or so before the morning team huddles were over.

The whole ride home I was questioning myself. Certainly my professionalism was going out the window. But at least Tyler Mills wasn't on the roster. And I really was helping the guy out.

I got home and even though I was hungry for dinner, I set down my keys and went to my bedroom, where a comfy bed and some lube was ready for a quick stroke. I kicked off my shoes and pushed down my joggers. My prick was already ready, jerking up into a rigid spike as I pulled down the covers. A couple of squirts in my palm was just the right amount for a good JO. I lay back and visualized Tyler Mills' belly. That twenty pound belly sticking out above me. I imagined him lifting his shirt for me, showing off that magnificent round girth, that ex-jock gut.

I shot hard.

****

I spend my teen years in denial and my college years sure that I was majorly fucked up for my kink. I'd grown up in a small town, with a bunch of Southern bubbas and men who were just big guys. My high school football coach, the vice principal, the neighbor dad next door, my boss at my summer job. Men who were thick all over but especially their bellies. They were the stars of my masturbation fantasies. To this day, I have a fetish for big guts filling out a button-down and hanging over a pair of khakis, especially framed by a Sunday-best blue blazer.

I moved away, away from the Southern bubbas and even from blue blazer country. But I eventually made peace with the fact I was almost exclusively into overweight guys. I discovered chubby porn and the chub/chaser subculture. I had my first real job with the Packers organization, learning and apprenticing there before getting a promotion. There was a lot of Wisconsin beef around that was fun to look at, but I didn't get to play with big guys as much as I wanted. I'd take trips to the city, to Chicago especially, where I lined up new chubs to fuck each visit.

I was in demand, too, as a chaser. Most chasers tend to be either twink-thin, or else have mild bellies themselves. I actually tried to gain weight once, until I realized that I had better luck attracting chubs with a fit, muscular jock body.

I started doing videos and developed a following. It was my man whore period. I wasn't always nice to the chubs I fucked. I regret that, and I took some time to learn how to be better. It was a tricky song and dance. I was attracted to them for who they were, but the power differential was a real turn on for me, too.

I got the job at Stanford and moved to San Francisco. It was incredible. I dated casually and slept around a lot. I got to know some fellow chasers, who became friends and competition all at once. Even in a big city, the chub/chaser scene could feel incestuous.

I had one experience with a superchub, a genuinely obese guy. It freaked me out a little, actually, but it was also thrilling to try it. It felt taboo as fuck.

But lately my lust swung the other direction. I got tired of the "chub" look and began getting more into regular guys. I'll call 'em dadbod-plus. Men with big beer bellies who reminded me of some of the hometown bubbas. I had about three off-and-on fuckbuds, mostly married guys from the Bay Area who'd come in, plus an occasional businessman hookup.

Life was good.

****

Or at least I thought it was good until Tyler Mills.

Something about that college senior got under my skin. He wasn't even that big. On his muscular 6'3" body, he carried that bulk well. And compared to the men I normally slept with, Tyler was actually kind of normal.

It was the third PT session when I asked him what his goals were.

He blushed. "To lose weight," he said. "I guess I got kind of depressed last year and put on some pounds."

I gulped. That horny knot was forming in my chest but I tried not to be weird. "It happens," I said nonchalantly.

"Not to you," Tyler beamed. His eyes sweeping up and down my 6-foot-and-buff body. "You're an inspiration, Coach." Then as he did a one-legged dip, he asked, "You got a girlfriend or anything?... Sorry, that's really fucking nosey."

"It's all right," I assured him. "No boyfriend," I said pointedly. If Mills was going to ask about my personal life, he could deal with the answer. "Maybe I'm not the dating type."

I expected surprise, but the former footballer was doing his best to act cool. "Like I said... sorry for being nosey, Coach."

Still Tyler had a more relaxed posture and his eyes seemed to be seeking out something from me. Approval, an opening, or something.

"I sometimes think it would be easier to be straight," he said.

It was my turn to be surprised. I know I didn't hide it well. Tyler grinned as he noticed.

"How so?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Girls can be into the whole teddy bear thing," he said like he'd been giving a lot of thought to it. Maybe he had. "Gay dudes have pretty high expectations."

My hands were on his waist now as I assisted his body weight squat. I really wanted to actively feel up the love handles but kept my calm.

"Can I give some real talk, Tyler?" I offered softly.

"Sure thing, Coach." I could tell he was nervous about what I was going to say.

"There are a lot of men open to some extra girth..." I said, letting that idea sink in. "And even if not... a guy doesn't have to be a chaser to go for a good looking dude like you."

"Oh," he said. I'd said the wrong thing.

"You know what a chaser is?" I asked.

I could see Tyler blush. "Yeah," he said. He seemed almost sullen now. "You think I'm a fat guy, Coach?"

"Hardly," I said. Trying to keep my lust in check, since I knew I was dealing with a fine young man's real emotions. "God's truth. And there are plenty of guys who'd be into the ex-jock package."

I'd probably said the wrong thing there, too, since I knew Tyler felt bad he was no longer playing. But he perked up. "Yeah? I should get up to the city sometime." He paused before admitting, "Before I got injured... I met some guys online. It was fun."

"You're, what, 21? You should be having some fun, Tyler," I said. I didn't even mean it to be lecherous. But this young man deserved to have sex.

"Thanks, Coach, for the pep talk."

I patted his shoulder. Trying to make it a normal pat. "Any time. You know... I know you don't need me to show you around, but if you're ever up the city and want to hang out...."

I half regretted saying that, but you don't hit the shots you don't take. And my cock was definitely running the show.

"Yeah, Coach," Tyler said.

****

We'd wrapped up the PT session as normal. He had my cell number to text, but I was't going to push anything. I'd laid it out there, and Tyler could decide if he wanted to come into the city. He probably thought I was making a platonic offer, kind of a mentor big gay brother thing. I'd do that, too.

A week later I got a text to see if I was up for company on Saturday afternoon. I cleared my plans and moved my Saturday workout earlier.

Tyler looked like a million bucks when I met him for a late lunch. Gone was the oversized T shirt and he had on one of his older shirts that stretched snugly across the beer belly. Tyler Mills still wasn't in chub territory, but I had underestimated how much the guy had packed on his mid-section. Even if Tyler and I didn't fool around, I'd have a great JO with that visual.

Better was how the guy seemed to be more comfortable in his skin. We grabbed tacos in the Mission and hung out in the park. Even from behind his sun glasses Tyler seemed to be eyeing me up. I guess my own snug T-shirt and shorts were showing off my buff build to good effect.

"Can I ask a personal question, Coach?"

"You can call me Steve," I said. "And sure."

His smile grew serious. "Are you a chubby chaser?"

I thought of not telling him the truth, but I'd spent too long not embracing that part of me. I didn't like lying about my kink now. "Yeah, I am, Tyler."

He expected that answer but maybe not the direct confidence with which I answered him. He was letting it sink in. "I wouldn't have thought... a guy like you."

I shrugged. "I was about your age when I realized I could become the man I wanted to have sex with. Or be the man who'd get the guys I wanted to have sex with."

"Do all those chubby guys..." he lowered his voice. "Go for thinner dudes?"

"Not all," I assured him. "And some like more twinky types. But I do pretty well."

"I bet," Tyler said. Then catching himself, added, "Sorry Coach... Steve."

I laughed. "Am I freaking you out, buddy?"

"It's weird," he said. "Especially if you think of me that way." Leave it to this sweet jock to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

I gave him the most reassuring look I could. "You're not a chub," I said. "And it's not about labels... actually lately I've gotten more into regular guys with a little extra around the middle."

That seemed to put him at ease. He leaned back and nodded down to his stomach.

"Like mine?" he asked.

My dick was chubbing up. No stopping it. "You have no idea."

"I guess I had a little," he admitted. "After our last conversation. It got me going online," he chuckled. "I decided to wear something tighter fitting."

I tried not to sound like a creep. "I've very glad you did, Tyler."

That made him smile. "You know, this is the first time I've felt sexy in two years."

"You are sexy," I assured him. "Sexy as fuck."

"Coming from you, Steve, that's amazing." He spread his legs out some and seemed to be showing his gut off for me.

I wanted to kiss him, bad. But my greater head prevailed. "You know, in my position..." I started.

Tyler seemed almost scared of my rejection. "I wouldn't tell anyone, Coach. Promise."

This was going to happen. "Wanna come back to my place?"

He nodded like an excited kid. God, Mills was adorable as fuck.

We were both smiling goofy grins as we made out way to my condo.

"Nice place, Steve," he said as he looked around. "Hopefully I can move to the city after graduation."

"You should," I said. "You'd have a blast."

That made him smile. He stepped up to me, waiting for me to take the rest of the initiative. I did, pulling Tyler into me and claiming a soft kiss. Even if I wasn't the dating type, I was very much the kissing type.

This ex-baller was too. He responded with soft caresses of his tongue against mine, gently sucking me into his mouth before pushing back.

Meanwhile, my fingers were tracing beneath the hem of his shirt. I'd dreamed of touching Tyler Mills' gut for weeks now, and I was now doing it. His belly was firm and fat at the same time. I was rock hard and moaned into his mouth.

For his part Tyler was feeling me up, my arms, my chest, my back. He was just as turned on as I was.

I pulled him back, silently stepping us back toward the bedroom. We wouldn't make it all the way there that way, but Tyler got the idea. Breaking the kiss, he let me lead the way.

I think I gasped when he pulled that shirt off. The chest and arms and shoulders were football solid - Tyler hadn't neglected his weight training - but the belly was round and heaved as he undid his shorts and peeled them down.

My cock was hard and I enjoyed Tyler's gaze on my naked body as I got into bed first. He was actually showing off his belly to me as he got in on the other side.

Our mouths met and we both responded to each other's nakedness with an amped up fervor. I could now feel Tyler's thick dick below, humping into my hip. We made out hungrily, and felt each other up and lived out several weeks of pent-up lust. It was all coming out forcefully.

Particularly as Tyler rolled his big body on top of mine and began kissing along my neck, his hardon humping into me and his hands holding me down gently. I'd experienced this before with guys I hadn't met online. The wrestling for top bunk. Tyler Mills wanted to fuck me.

I was 90 percent top, but I wanted to give Tyler his wish. He needed the confidence boost, I decided, and his bulk felt pretty damn nice on top of me.

I felt his love handles getting more and more excited to take this ex-wide receiver's dick.

"Can you give me fifteen minutes, bud?" I asked. "I can get cleaned out for you."

I wasn't sure of Tyler Mill's experience, but he wasn't totally green. His eyes lit up. "Oh yeah." He rolled off me, letting me get off the bed and to the master bathroom.

I cleaned out and showered off and came out to see the college guy waiting expectantly, his prick not having gone down a bit. Tyler wasn't hung overly long but it was a decently thick tool that looked amazing riding up the swell of his beer belly. Mills might not have been a chub but I had a flash of excitement imagining him getting bigger.

"God Steve, you're amazing." He gave his prick a couple of tugs as I got into bed again.

"You too stud. Fuck."

I could see that confidence boost working on Tyler. Two years of injury and recovery and depression had taken a toll on the guy, but the fact I wanted him, really wanted him, had him brightening up visibly.

We kissed again, hungrily, and Tyler unleashed the inner beast. His kisses were more fevered against my neck and chest and even lower.

I lifted my legs back. Tyler wasn't skilled in rimming but he loved going hog wild. That worked for me. It had been too long since I'd had my ass eaten, and the fact it was this young big-bellied stud doing it had me wanting to put out.

I finally handed him some lube. His grin was big as he flipped the lid and began prepping me with his fingers. Eyes on my body and my face more than my hole.

"You do this much, Coach?" he asked with heavy lust.

I shook my head. "Usually I'm top," I said. "But I want you in me bud."

That made his prick jerk. He was so horny but also wanting to be respectful. He now worked in two and three fingers in me in alternation. My hole was feeling good.

"We, um, need protection or something?" he asked.

"I have some," I answered. I had one married fuckbud who insisted on condoms. "But I'm on PREP and get tested."

"Fuck," he hissed. He pulled back his fingers and slathered the excess lube onto this cock. Before I could react he was scooting up and stuffing it into my hole.

"Easy!" I urged. The entry was quick.

"Sorry," he said. He was clearly carried away. But now he held steady.

I looked up at him, his scruffy handsome face and his strong build and that round gut. And I opened right up for Mr. Mills.

"Fuck!" I hissed as his slick bone slid into me. "Yes..."

"God Coach," he grunted.

We weren't verbal. I don't know if Tyler was naturally the verbal type. But we didn't need sex talk. We were both in thrall with the other's bodies. Tyler's round 20-pounds of gut flesh swelling out between my spread legs, jiggling slightly as his whole body thrust into me. Maybe I should bottom more, I thought, because my insides felt alive at that moment. Not just my p-spot but all of it.

Tyler was cumming before I knew it, his face hardening into a determined top face as he drove in faster to get his nut. It was intense, but in a good way. I jerked my dick and rode the crest of my own orgasm.

We were hyperventilating as we uncoupled.

"Damn," he hissed. Resting his head on my shoulder and snuggling up to me. "Thanks for that."

I kissed his forehead. "Thank you, stud... I needed that more than I realized."

He smiled, and leaned forward for a kiss. I was happy to give him one.

We lay in bed and talked about men and sex and life. I didn't give him my whole life story, but Tyler got some hints about what being a chaser meant for me. He was still dealing with the closet and learning about sex beyond porn.

****

We had a mini affair, until Tyler got freaked out. I think some of it was wanting to play the field. But he still didn't like thinking of himself as fat and didn't like that's the part of him that I responded to.

I said something that triggered him, but it was probably bound to happen anyway. He stopped answering my texts, and if he came into the city, it wasn't to see me.

My fortieth birthday came and went. I wondered what I was doing with my life. Maybe it was time to become the dating type. But I had two fuckbuds on the regular now. A big extra-beefy coach from South Bay and a pot-bellied married guy from the suburbs. Occasionally I got DMs on my old twitter account, and I hooked up with a couple of chubs who came to town. I heard from a superchub who was a big fan of my old videos, but I wasn't sure I wanted that experience again.

I didn't expect a text out of the blue. But one spring day, Tyler texted me. "How you doing, Coach?"

It was the right text at the right time. I perked up at my desk. "Doing well. How about you Tyler?"

"Can't complain." Then "Sorry I went no contact."

"No expectations," I said. "For real."

"Cool." A minute passed then. "Can I see you sometime?"

"I'm out of town the next couple of weeks," I wrote. Spring Break was coming up, and I had a vacation tripped planned. "But I'm around after."

"Nice. I'll reach out."

****

We picked up right where we left off. Sort of. When Tyler showed up at my place, he was bigger. The twenty pound gut had become a thirty pound gut. He had some amazing genetics that concentrated the extra fat into his belly. He wore a polo shirt that showed off the round swell to good effect.

"Hey," he said with a nervous smile as I led him in. He was clean shaven now, and as adorable as ever. The baseball cap topped off the collegiate look, but I playfully took it off him and tossed it aside before leaning in.

Our kiss was soft. I grunted as I felt his hard-soft stomach press against my flat one.

I wasn't sure what to expect but as we made out and pawed at each other, I knew we were going to have sex. First thing.

"Bedroom?" I asked.

Tyler nodded excitedly. "Yeah. One of these days I'd love to do it elsewhere... try every room in your place."

I pawed at my crotch. "You look so hot, Tyler," I grunted.

He grinned and puffed out his chest some. Gone was the kid shy about his weight. At least for now. "I tried to lose weight Coach, but figured, fuck it."

My fingers were now tugging at that polo shirt. Tyler helped me take it off the rest of the way. His chest was meaty as ever and that just made his big gut hotter. I openly ran my hands over all of it, shoulders to stomach and back. Tyler relaxed and let me.

"I've never been fucked, Steve," he said.

My hands paused. "Yeah?" I asked expectantly.

Tyler was nervous as fuck. I got that. "I've been thinking about it. A lot."

My hands more gently massaged him. Not in a chub chaser kind of way, more in a reassuring caress kind of way. "I've broken guys in before," I said softly. "I know what I'm doing." God at that moment I knew I'd kill to get into Tyler Mills' ex-jock hole.

He gave me a playful grin. "I know... I, um, came across some of your vids, Coach," he said. "Actually a lot of them."

I blushed. I don't even know why. But it was a part of my life that was kind of behind me. "Hope you liked them."

He nodded. "I thought of being one of those guys you did." That impish look grew stronger. "Damn, some of those guys are BIG too," he laughed. "You really are into that."

I nodded. But patted his stomach which was still hard-fat but had more give these days. "You're more my speed for now, Mills," I grinned. I don't know why his last name came out, it just felt right.

Our lips were softer touching again. But Tyler's hands fumbled with my jeans and greedily reached in to grip my boner. He had a good touch. I suspect Tyler had fooled around with other men over the last year-plus. I was glad.

"You're big," he finally said as we broke. Tyler was looking down at the cock in his fist.

"Not too big, Tyler," I said.

He thought about it. "I jerked off so much to your vids. Just watching you..."

I patted his arm. All solid. "The real thing will be hotter," I said.

He crouched down in front of me. Tyler wasn't going to suck me to completion. I wasn't going to let him. But from our previous affair, I knew he could. Slowly he sucked down several inches and worked up a nice, slow bob. I enjoyed the foreplay and finally pulled him up.

Then returned the favor. I love sucking a fat guy, feeling the belly press against my forehead as I work my mouth closer to the base of the dick. Tyler now had enough to let me know I had some real girth on my hands.

I finally spit out his cock. "Turn around," I urged.

Tyler had a football player's ass. Round, hard but not a bubble but. Tyler was just now starting to get the fullness a fat dude has, particularly along the upper part of the glutes where they meet the love handles circling around the lower back.

It drove me wild. I parted those muscle buns and dove in. Licking up and down that lightly furry trench.

"Yes," Tyler hissed. He clearly loved having his ass eaten. He liked it even more when I really went at it, drilling in with my tongue. Tyler was clean as a whistle, and I knew he'd prepped for me.

He now leaned over which made those love handles squish some. I growled into that hole and ate him out more eagerly.

I finally pulled out. I slid my finger along the spit wet trench but not penetrating him. "I'll take it easy, stud. But I gotta get inside you."

He nodded. His nerves coming back. But he accepted my kiss when I stood up and let me guide him back to my room.

"I'm at 240 now," he boasted as he got into my bed.

Between the videos and that admission, I realized Tyler had absorbed at least some of the chub/chaser kink, at least enough to use it to turn me on.

"Incredible," I said. I grabbed some lube and fisted my cock, in full view of Tyler's hungry gaze. "I hope you're feeling good about your body."

"Yes and no," he answered truthfully. "But I'm really glad you like it."

"You have no idea, buddy," I said.

"I have some idea," he replied, glancing at my cock.

We kissed and embraced. I felt him up but no more than he gripped my toned bulked muscle. I applied more lube to my fingers worked them in between his buns. Probing and teasing until it felt right to enter him.

He hissed but I could tell he enjoyed it. Our faces were close and our bodies touched as he angled his beefed-out body so I could get access. I took advantage. One finger, then another. Slowly working him open. Eyes locked on his the whole time.

"Feel good?" I asked.

"Yes, Coach."

A third finger pushed in. It was a lot for Tyler, but after a minute I could tell that was feeling good too.

"Can I ride you?" he asked.

"It's actually tougher for the first time that way," I explained. "Let me take the cherry and then we can do whatever position you want. OK?"

He seemed to trust me. So I guided him on his back, that round stomach perfectly resting. I slid a pillow beneath his hips and rested his legs on my shoulder. He was nervous now, but I fingered him some more. Like five minutes more, before I lined up and pressed in.

He gritted his teeth and winced but the feeling didn't hurt like he expected. I took my time then finally pressed past the tightness of those first three inches.

Tyler's eyes opened. THIS felt good to him. I slowly pumped, my movements gentle even as my eyes fixed his with a controlling gaze. Silently urging the ex-jock to take my dick.

He relaxed into the fuck, a look of gratitude on his face. I was showing Tyler a new way to be a man.

I pumped out some lube on to his palm and when he stroked in rhythm to my stokes, the lightbulb really went off.

"I can feel it," he said. "My prostate."

I fucked harder now, and the guy nodded up with excitement, his hand going faster on his thick dick. His belly jiggled now which was going to get me off, soon.

"You like my body," he said. Or maybe asked.

"I love it. Love fucking that thick ex-jock body, Tyler."

"I thought you might prefer me bigger," he hissed, softly. Embarrassed at the admission.

I didn't care. He was getting me out of control. I pounded him, making all that excess flesh move and jiggle wildly. His face turned red then his whole body and I watched streams of cum jet out in thick ropes onto that beer belly.

I nutted. Matching Tyler's cumload size, deep inside his once-virgin ass.

Later, as we showered and made out, I told him that just was about the hottest sex I'd ever hard. I wasn't exaggerating.

He leaned into my hands as I worked the suds over his girthy flesh, trying not to fixated on his midsection.

"I know you're not the dating type, Coach, but can we go on a date some time?" he asked.

I gave him a kiss. Not quick, not slow. "It's the least you deserve, Mills," I replied. My cock chubbing up a little again.

[gavisimmaculaterizz]

bb can u write something like jude coming home from practice and being angry, mad or something, and just storming off in his room, and later on (female) reader falls asleep on the couch teary eyed bcz she doesn't know what she did wrong

— bother / jude bellingham.

summary: jude cant hold in his anger from losing his match, resulting in a distant jude.

warnings: a bit of angst ??

masterlist

as the final whistle blew, distant whistles and boos came from the santiago bernabéu. the night in madrid was cold, the huge loss of the white giants filled the madrid air with coldness. as fans exited the stadium, jude proceeded to go to the locker room furious. he couldn’t help but feel anger, not being able to help his team out with at least scoring a goal. he disappointed the fans, maybe even his girlfriend. he mentally cursed himself out for not showing his potential, preparing for the hate he’d get on twitter by fellow madridistas.

meanwhile at the comfort of your shared apartment, you couldn’t help but feel a bit of sadness watching your boyfriends team lose heavily. you turned off the television, feeling sadness wash over you, over the terrible result in the bernabéu that just happened moments ago. you hated seeing your boyfriend sad, knowing these type of losses affected him heavily.

a couple hours later, the noise of bags falling echoed around the silent home. you ran to jude, excited to hug him and welcome him in. when reaching the tall british, you were welcomed with a cold and distant jude. “hey babe how was your game?”, you asked your boyfriend. upon your question, jude’s facial expression changed heavily. “what do you mean how was my game? did you even pay attention to what just happened?”,he asked furiously. his words hit you like a cold dagger that was plummeted into your heart, dry and distant, with a hint of anger still lingering in his voice. “do you want to talk about it?”, you asked trying to console your boyfriend. his words broke you, all you tried to do was ask if his game went okay, even though you’d know what his response would be. “no, god just leave me alone— you’re such a bother y/n.”, jude stated furiously. he quickly stormed off to your shared room, shutting the door loudly, letting you know to not even step foot into the room. your heart broke, you couldn’t contain your tears anymore.

you ran to your living room in tears, only seeing blurriness, and tasting the saltiness water streaming down your face. you mentally cursed yourself out feeling guilty for making him angry, even though it was not your fault at all. you knew he was a bit pissed off from his game still , but you never meant to provoke him even more than he was. you laid down on your sofa, grabbing a blanket and covering yourself completely. you wanted to give him space, let him cool down a bit.

meanwhile in your little bubble, your thoughts raced, ‘was it my fault for making him angry?’ you kept sobbing, overloading yourself with these negative thoughts. you let yourself cry until you couldn’t anymore. all you let out were heavy breaths which occupied the quiet home. with all the crying, it made you sleepy, and you couldn’t help but doze off into the night sky. you would soon be awaiting your boyfriends apology in the morning.

but was he right about you being a bother..?

a/n: i kind of tweaked it a bit anon!! also this is my first fic so im mentally cringing at myself bc im not used to this 🙁, so i hope yall like it

[leah-lover]

Closed for maintenance . Leah Williamson × reader

Reader embarks on a new journey with a new club. Part 1.

My day started out like any other in the past 4 weeks. The beeping sound of my alarm wakes me up, I dread the thought of getting up even though I still do, I get my shit together, I leave for training, come back a few hours later and go to bed early.

My days have been blending in ever since that heart shattering break up. However, today had a little twist to it. As I was leaving the gym to go to the physioroom I got called into the Manager's office. Upon getting in, the coach said “hey, so I called you here to let you know that we are going to transfer you. You have been an absolute killer for our team. You will always have a place between us. The thing is your dynamic with the team has been off which has been causing some tension. And the best thing I thought to do was to transfer you this January.” Shock couldn't describe the state I was in. Running on autopilot, I got out of the coach's office, got my things and departed home without talking to anybody, which has been my pattern this past month.

My head was in the clouds for the entire drive, and when I got home I threw myself on the coach and started sobbing. About 20 minutes later I called my best friend the only person I trusted more than anything.

“Hey are you okay? The girls are worried about you, tell me what is going on please”said kristie with a worried tone

“Well tell Sam and the team not to worry anymore. Emma has decided to ruin my life and get rid of me. I won't be at Chelsea anymore. I am basically fired.” I replied, now more angry than sad.

“What the hell are you talking about? Are you transferred where? when? How ? Are you okay? Did you tell her?.” She asked.

“I think it will be announced tomorrow at the meeting. I don't know anything kristie Chelsea is home. Niamh is home. I can't live without them.” I replied, memories of Niamh and I fludding my brain.

“Sure you will. I love you bubs no matter where you go.” She said, “Me too buddy, me too.” I added, sadness creeping into my heart again.

—-------—---—------------------------------------

It has been an eventful week. It was announced that I would leave Chelsea for Arsenal. The topic has been the talk of the town. From newspapers, Instagram pages, fans on Twitter, Arsenal fans were excited to have me. However, Chelsea fans were bitter I was let go. Most of the mean comments were directed at Emma and Chelsea which I thought was fair. I was the leading goal scorer in the WSL and we were on a great track record to win the league again.

I got a new apartment, and a new car. I tried to begin again. A clear slate and a focus on winning with my new team, the gunners.

Today was the first day of practice. The girls are really nice. This team, this family, seem really gelled together and they seem to start getting me out of my dark hole.

“Hello you.” Said Beth, “I hope you are well and I well we want to let you know you are very welcome and we hope you have a great time with us here.” she added. “Me too “ I responded.

__________________________________

It has been over 2 months since that last interaction with Beth, who I can call my best friend now. Her, Steph ,Katie and I have been inseparable. Arsenal have been on a winning streak since I got here. I seem to enjoy the way they play and interact with each other.

The player I enjoy hanging out with the most is my second Captain, which I can never fully admit.

Leah has been fun, heart warming, safe and a friend and a good one. I can't let whatever is happening affect my career again. I dated a teammate before it ruined my career, or so I thought.

“Ladies, how are we feeling about a party? We won again thanks to wonderful strickers. Let's have a party, we deserve it.” Said Katie on the bus. Shortly after a plan was made.

We went to a bar, we drank, sang, danced, and it was that time of the night where I got hungry for warmth. Human connection however unmeaningful. So I kissed the first girl I fancied.

That's when I felt a hand separate me from the girl and drag me outside.

“You are drunk, let's go home before you do anything you will regret.” Said Leah with an angry tone. “ Let go of me, I am lonely. I need this, please let go.” I pleaded with the alcohol affecting my judgment.

“ You are a fool if you think I would let you put yourself in danger. You are important to me, you should know that. Now let's go.” She ordered.

“ I am not going anywhere with you, you are not my girlfriend.” I protested.

That's when she pulled me in for a small kiss. That felt reassuring but not abusive of my drunk state.

“ You are not kissing anyone or going anywhere tonight. Home it is. Now stop complaining and get in please.” She said with a pour on her face. I did as she said, my mind still on the feeling of her lips.

This is going to be a lot to unpack in the morning.

[nycbaby21]

"So what if I was?"

prompt: “Aww. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were worried about me. + “So what if I was?” 

word count:2,139

warnings: blood, maybe two cuss words

“C’mon it’ll be fun y/n,” Liana begged me. “I’ll get on my hands and knees,” she added going down when I grabbed her shoulders and stopped her. “No it’s okay no need for all of that,” I laugh,” I’ll go. Just because I love you.” Everyone laughed and grabbed their skates and headed for the door. That was the thing about when Mat came back home for a visit, he was never alone. Someone always came with him, whether that be a girl or one of his teammates. Luckily for me this time it was the latter.

“Okay so how are we gonna do this,” Tito asked sitting down lacing up his skates. As I sat beside him on the bench right next to the frozen lake, I began to tie my own skates up. “Obvisouly the two of you can’t be on a team that’s unfair,” my best friend pointed out to her brother and his friend. “So it’s a lose-lose situation,” Mat groans stepping onto the oce. “What do you mean by that,” i snap back already sick of the constant attitude he had since he came home three days ago.

“Oh c’mon. You’re a smart girl, or is that just a front so you can go off and party your way through college,” Mat smirks throwing yet another dig my direction. We didn’t always have such a draining relationship. Once upon a time I considered Mat a friend, not just because I was best friends with his sister but we were friends. Something changed and as sad as it was to realize him stepping away and being cold towards me just made me realize something I had tried to push away for so long. I had feelings for Mat and everytime he has a smart remark or a comment about me it breaks my heart just a little more.

“Some of us actually care about an education rather than trying to get by on our pretty looks,” I quip back stepping onto the ice and doing a small turn. “You think I’m pretty,” he smirekd my way and I wanted nothing more than to swipe that smug look off of his gorgeous face. “How about you and Beau goof around while we skate for a bit,” Lia suggested. I knew that she missed her brother and playing hockey with him. I took and deep breath and then let it out. “No Li you play around with them for a little. I’m a big girl I’ll be fine skating by myself,” i smile at her and watch her face brighten. “Are you sure,” she asked and when I nodded she launched forward pulling us both down as she hugged me.

After some time I was growing bored so the same small circles so I started to do some spins and tricks, remembering some of the small details from ice skating lessons years ago. As I did a jump and turn I didn’t stick it and fell on my butt. Sighing I get up and dust off the ice. “Wow that was just sad,” I hear Mat shout from across the lake. I flip him off and try the jump again this time going harder. I landed it perfectly but with just a little too much force and the hit started to crack. I froze not knowing what to do. My eyes snapped up to meet the other three. They could all sense something wrong and they were a distance away. Mat slowly skated my way, Tito and Lia behind him. He was the closest to me so he would het there first. 

“Hey look at me okay.”You’re gonna be fine,” his voice was calming and I nodded shifting my weight and hearing the crack get louder. I look down and start to wobble. “Hey no, look at me okay? You can’t look down,” I met his eyes and didn’t break my focus on them. He carefully made his way closer to me and surveyed his surrounding looking for the best way to get me out of this mess. He didn’t have anytime to think because the ice gave way. I tensed up waiting for the freezing lake water to surround me but the only thing i felt was a warm body colliding with mine and us both falling onto the ground a few feet away from the hole in the ice. 

“Shit,” Mat hissed out and I looked up feeling a dull ache in my head from moving ti too fast. I realized that my forehead made contact with his nose on the way down and it was know bleeding. “Oh my gosh. Mat I am so so sorry. Are you okay,” I ask pulling some tissue from my pocket and applying pressure to his nose to stop the bleeding.

“Aw. If I didn’t know any better I’d say that you were worried about me,” he says forcing a laugh. I roll my eyes and hold the napkin onto his nose to try and stop the bleeding. I look down at him scanning his face for any other injuries, finally meeting his brown eyes. His forehead crinkles and he takes in my scared expression.

“So what if I was,” I whisper scared if I spoke any louder he would laugh at me or run for the hills. His hand came up and held the wrist of the arm helping stop his nose bleeding. He pulls my arm away from his face and goes to open his mouth when we are interrupted. “Oh my gosh Mat are you okay,” Tito asked rushing towards us quickly taking my place and observing Mat. 

I step back and notice a group has gathered around us checking on the hockey player. As I move to make my way back to the house, I turn around and notice Mat’s eyes still on me. I feel a hand on my forearm and run to see Liana standing next to me. She gave me a sad smile. “Let’s get you out of these wet clothes and into something warmer okay,” she says sweetly leading me inside. 

“How long,” her voice breaks me out of my trance and I snap my head towards her. “What,” I was shivering, not sure if it was from the cold or her question. “C’mon y/n. We’ve been best friends forever, I know you better than anyone else. And you know me better than anyone else right,” she asked waiting for me to respond. I nodded my head and pulled a sweatshirt over my head. I joined her on the couch and she tossed her blanket over to cover us both.

“So I know when you are upset and more so when you are hiding something,” her eyes give me a once over and I sigh knowing she is right. “A little over a year now,” I respond turning my head and not making eye contact. Of course, I knew what she was asking. She wasn’t dumb by any means and she was my best friend of course she could read my emotions better than anyone else. “You’ve liked my brother for that long now and never said anything,” she asked pity creeping its way onto her face. “Yep. It’s sad I know,��� I sniffle fighting back the tears threatening to spill. I feel her presence and then arms wrapping around me. 

“Oh, sweetie no. It is nowhere near sad,” she reassures me, hands running up and down my arms comforting me. “It is though. He has never seen me that way and he never will. Especially now that he is on the Islanders. He could have any model he wanted. Why would he pick me,” I cry finally letting all of the emotions I have had stored up for the past year out. “ No model holds a candle to you, babe. You are the most compassionate, generous, and understanding person I know. You have always had this glow around you and make anyone feel so seen and understood. Plus you are like smoking hot,” she says making me stop crying and laugh. “Thanks, Li,” I snort laughing and she joins in.

When everyone finally made their way back inside Mama Barzal helped Mat get settled in bed and finished up dinner. We all sat around the table and ate our soup trying to warm ourselves up from the exciting outdoor hockey game we held. Slowly one by one everyone finished and started to head to the living room for game night. I stayed behind to help clean up. “Hey, sweet girl. Would you mind taking this up to Mat? I need to finish this up and you don’t have to help me clean,” she smiles over at me, knowing I can’t say no to the woman who became like another mom to me many years ago. 

“Of course I will,” I smile trying to hide the panic in my voice. I grabbed a bowl of the soup and put it on the bed tray along with a spoon. I carefully made my way upstairs and to his door. As I tried to steady my breathing and calm my shaking hands the door opened. “Oh shit y/n/n, I didn’t see you there,” Tito laughed moving over to the side and opening the door wider for me to come in. I slowly made my way into the room. I hadn’t seen the inside of Mat’s room since Li and I were like 17 sneaking out of his window because it was easier than using hers.

My eyes landed on the bed and then on Mat. His nose was bruised but the bleeding had stopped. He lay there in bed black compression shirt on under the covers. “Your mom asked me to bring you this,” I say quietly putting the tray on the bedside table and turning to walk out of the room. He reaches out and grabs my hand pulling me backwards and to him. “I’m gonna go see if Mama B needs any help,” Tito says excusing himself. Mat laughed,” Real subtle buddy.” My eyes drift down toward our connected hands. “Will you sit please,” he asked his voice shaking.

“Are you okay,” I ask sitting near the edge of the bed never once pulling my hand from his. “Physically yeah. My nose isn’t broken or anything just bruised up pretty good. Mentally not so much,” he sighs looking down at our hands, his thumb rubbing circles on mine. “Why aren’t you okay mentally,” I ask finding his eyes with my own. “Because I am an idiot. All of these years I never noticed. The one thing I was trying to find was here the whole time,” his voice wavers and he pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth, a nervous habit he and his sister share. 

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I say breaking eye contact and letting my eyes drift around the room until they land on a small picture frame on his dresser. It was of the two of us and Liana after his draft. “You wanna know why I kept that one,” he asked. I turn to look at him and nod. “Because no matter how hard I tried to hate the picture I couldn’t, because you were in it. You with that beautiful smile and those sweet eyes looking at me. I had the biggest crush on you growing up. I guess I just always hoped you felt the same way,” he said his brown eyes scanning my face for any kind of discomfort. “What,” I whisper wondering if I had heard him right.

“You have always been in my life, not always by my choice but you were there. Every good or bad memory you were there. And when I moved out and to the city I didn’t see you as much. So I got upset thinking you were only ever there because of Lia. I don’t know what I was thinking honestly. So whenever you came with them to visit or I came home I was an ass to you because I hurt my own feelings thinking something more.” After his long speech, I couldn’t help but lean forward and capture his lips with mine. It was a sweet short kiss and then when I pulled back he rushed forward grabbing my cheeks and bringing me back into him. I shifted forward and went to run my hands through his hair when he hissed and pulled away in pain.

“Oh my god Mat I am so sorry. I completely forgot about your nose,” I rush out grabbing his face and moving it all different angles to see if I caused any further damage. “So worth it,” he smiled leaning forward and connecting our lips again. 

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

a moment of sadness and sweetness in one bottle. What to do if there was a quarrel between the characters and Y / N on stupid grounds, for example, they misunderstood each other, or maybe someone didn’t buy something that he had been asked for a long time in the store, or said something unpleasant, although it might not even be addressed to the second. Someone will be very offended, and the second will try to correct the current situation. In general, everyday moments, with an exceptionally good ending!

Yess! Happy to do this one, love me a bit of angst/fluff🙃 thanks for the request! Hope this was okay for you!

141 + König Having A Small "Fight" With GN! Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, crying, bickering, mentions of depression and self conciousness ‐‐ends in fluff!!

Simon Ghost Riley-

Simon was in a dreadful mood. He and the team had just gotten home from a mission that didn't go well for any of them. He wanted nothing more than peace and quiet and to lay in bed for the remainder of the day.

He walked into your shared some and was immediately hit with the smell of his favorite food cooking in the kitchen, and gave a heavy sigh. He tried to muster a decent enough mood for you, as it was clear you were just trying to make him feel better.

He walked in and found you dancing around the kitchen, putting the final touches on dinner. "I'm home, Y/N."

You turned to him with a bright smile. "Hey! Dinner is almost ready. I'm not sure if you were hungry or not."

You walked over to him and embraced hom tightly. Simon stood stiff, not returning the sentiment, causing you to pull away immediately.

"If it's alright, I'll eat it in the bedroom." Simon said, his eyes leaving yours to look at the floor.

"Oh, that's fine." Your smile fell ever so slightly. "Is there anything else I can do to help?"

"No. I just want to be alone." He mumbled, tapping his fingers on the table.

You nodded meekly and went to prep his plate, handing it to him nervously. "I hope you like, I spent all afternoon prepping it."

"I'm sure it's fine, Y/N. It's just food. Can I go now?" Simon instantly regretted the tone of his voice but couldn't bring himself to reflect on it. He had too much swirling on his mind already.

You swallowed thickly and nodded at him, watching him make his way to your shared room, slamming the door behind him.

You knew when getting into a relationship with him that there would be days like this. He went through so much in his personal life, and his job was far from easy. He'd been gone for nearly 3 months, and you missed him terribly, wanting nothing more than to embrace your boyfriend when he got home.

He told you it was a rough mission, so you thought surprising him with his favorite home cooked meal might help him decompress. You'd had the whole night planned out to take care of him, and now here you were eating alone.

You felt tears fall down your cheeks and stared at your food, your appetite now gone.

~

Later that night, as you were unsure if you could approach him, you'd decided to sleep on the couch.

Simon had come out a few hours after you'd fallen asleep, wondering why you hadn't come to bed, and his heart shattered when he saw you.

He walked over to your sleeping form and crouched down beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Y/N, sweetheart."

Your eyes blinked open and looked up at him. Even in the dark Simon could tell you had been crying, and he felt horrible. "Simon?"

"Come to bed, love."

You shook your head, a sad smile forming on your lips. "It's okay. You wanted to be alone."

Simon placed his hands on either side of your face gently. "Just for a little while was all. I didn't want to take my shitty mood out on you. I should've gone about it a different way, though. The food was incredible, I'm sorry I made your hard work seem like it wasn't worth it."

You nodded slowly and moved to sit up. "Im sorry for my part. I knew you had a hard mission, and I let myself take it personally."

"Bugger off with that. C'mere." He pulled you into his arms, carrying you bridal style to your shared room. He laid you carefully on the bed, and slipped into the covers behind you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

"I love you, Y/N. Thank you for being you." He declared quietly as he pressed a kiss to your hair. "I don't know what I'd do without you in this world."

König-

"Maus, are you almost ready to go? Our reservation is in 20 minutes!" You heard your boyfriend's voice call from outside your room.

"Y-Yeah. I'll be out in a minute." You replied, staring at your reflection in your mirror. You'd spent the last 30 minutes applying makeup and weren't happy with the end result. You kept reapplying various products, and nothing seemed to be making it better.

König made his way into the room after a few moments to see what the holdup was. "You ready?"

"I'm just trying to make this look good. It's not looking the way I want it." You huffed in frustration.

"You spend so much time getting ready. It's not going to help your self esteem throwing all that stuff on your face, Maus."

"...what?" You turned to him, not knowing if you heard him correctly. He knew of your self-esteem issues, and you were surprised he threw it in your face.

"I said you don't need that crap on your face. It won't help you feel better." He said, his eyebrows bunching together in confusion. Was he saying something wrong? He truly felt you didn't need it.

You turned your head away from him as you felt hot tears beginning to fall down your cheeks. "Oh."

König heard your voice break and immediately panicked. "Maus, are you okay?"

You nodded your head and made your way to the bathroom, grabbing a makeup wipe. You began to aggressively wipe away the makeup on your face as your tears continued to fall.

König followed behind you silently, and his heart shattered upon seeing your tear stained reflection in the mirror. "Maus... tell me what's wrong."

You whipped your head in his direction, fully sobbing now. "I feel so ugly König. Makeup is the only thing that helps me with my self-esteem, and you...you made it seem like it was stupid."

König felt horrible. He truly didn't think much of his words. He thought you were truly beautiful inside and out and didn't need something as trivial as makeup. You were already so beautiful without it.

"Schatz, no, no. I didn't mean it like that. I meant to say you don't need it. You're so pretty without it. I don't know why you don't see yourself the way that I do. You are so stunning, I wish you could see that. I promise you I did not mean to belittle how you felt, sweeheart." He slowly approached you and gently started to wipe away your tears. "I love you so much, please don't be upset."

You cried harder at his words, and König almost lost it himself. He was about to speak up himself when you threw your arms around his midsection and buried your face in his chest. "I'm sorry, Kö."

"What on earth do you have to be sorry for?" He asked, bewildered.

"I just.. I feel like I'm not good-looking enough, so I turn to makeup." You mumbled in his chest.

He pulled your face away gently. "Y/N. Remember when we first started dating? I felt horrible about myself and my scars. It's one of the reasons I always wore my hood. Until you. You made me feel good and happy within my own skin. Please, love, let me help you."

You gave him a smile and pressed your lips to his. "I love you so much, Kö. Thank you."

König returned his arms around your waist giving you a tight hug. "I'm always here, Maus. And you are the most beautiful thing in the world to me."

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

You and Kyle were sitting on the couch as you played one of the video games he'd been addicted to lately. You wanted to show more interest in the games he liked, and were delighted when he gave you the controller.

You were coming up on a boss fight, and assured Kyle you were okay to win it. "I promise Ky, I got this."

"I'll lose all my items if you don't, it took me forever to get it. Please be careful." He said, watching you play with worry.

You nearly defeated the boss, when you all of a sudden forgot to duck and were struck with a killing blow.

"Ugh, I'm sorry, I almost had him." You chuckled, turning to see your boyfriend staring at you with an angry look on his face.

"Sorry? I've been at this for hours, and you just let my character get killed, I lost all of my items Y/N!" Kyle's voice rose, causing you to flinch slightly.

"I said I was sorry, I feel bad. I just wanted to try this game out since you love it so much. I didn't mean for this to happen." You mumbled quietly, shifting your eyes away from his.

"This is the last time I let you play any of my games. You ruin everything." He said through gritted teeth. "Now I've got to go back and fix all this no thanks to you."

Your bottom lip trembled slightly as you stood and ran to your bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind you. You honestly hadn't meant for it to happen. You were just trying to show interest in a game he loved.

~

It was about an hour later when Kyle came into your room, his heart hurting at the sound of your muffled sobs. "Babe?"

You didn't reply, as you kept your head buried in your pillows. He came over to you, and sat beside you on the bed, rubbing your back soothingly. "I'm sorry. I was an absolute ass. You were trying to show interest which I so appriciate, and I just threw it back in your face. I'm so, so sorry baby."

Kyle bent down and began to pepper light kisses all over your face, making you giggle. "What do you say we go and play Mario kart? I may even let you win a match."

"What? Ky you know I whoop your ass at that game." You giggled, wiping your tears away.

"That's a load of rubbish and you know it. Loser makes dessert?" He asked, a wide smile forming on his face.

"You're on, Garrick."

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

You'd just gotten home from a shopping trip on your own, and were unloading the bags in the kitchen when your boyfriend Johnny walked in.

"Hey babe, thanks for going." He pressed a kiss to your cheek as he started to help you unload the bags.

"Y/N, where's the hair razor?" Johnny asked, tearing through the shopping bags.

"Oh, crap I forgot it, I knew there was something I was missing. I'll get it next trip!"

"You forgot it? I've been asking you nonstop about it and put it on the list like you asked me to! I shouldn't have to wait until next trip!"

"Okay, okay, im sorry."

"You probably forgot because you were too busy wasting our money on shit we don't need, instead of focusing on the stuff we do."

You swallowed thickly, as his words hit you like a thousand bricks. "Okay."

Johnny threw his hands up in frustration and walked outside to the porch, slamming the door behind him.

You grabbed your keys on the table and made your way to your car.

~

"Where've you been? I came back inside, and you were gone and didn't pick up your cell."

"Went back to the store, here." You said, shoving the razor box into your boyfriend's hands. "Sorry again."

You threw your purse down onto the table and started to make your way to your room before a hand came out and grabbed your wrist. "Y/N, wait."

You turned around to him, your face showing no emotion. "What."

"I'm sorry, babe. I shouldn't have said that shit. I just got frustrated, but that's no excuse." He reached for both your arms and rubbed at them soothingly.

You sighed deeply and met his eyes. "I'm sorry too. It completely skipped my mind when I was there."

"Ah, it's fine. Honestly. I was just being a prick. I appreciate you going back to get it, I really do."

Johnny came up and gave you a bone crushing hug, spinning you around. "I love you, kid."

"I love you too, Johnny." You chuckled before your face fell. "I uh... forgot we needed batteries for your razor."

John Price-

John had been in his home office nearly all day on call after call. It was supposed to be his day off, but he hadn't left his room in hours. You were slightly worried about him, as he hadn't eaten all day so you decided to make a small snack for him and bring it into his office.

You walked in quietly, pointing to the plate of crackers and cheese as he looked at you pointedly. "Just bringing by a little snack."

"Yeah, yeah, love. I'll be out later." John waived his hand at you dismissively. You gave a small smile before making your way out of his room, closing the door behind you. You were just about to walk away when you heard something spoken, muffled by the door. "Just annoying, you know?"

You felt your heart drop upon hearing those words and walked to your bedroom, not wanting to hear another word. Did you really annoy him? You were just trying to make sure he ate he hadn't left the room in hours.

You laid down on your bed, and tears came to your eyes. You'd been feeling rather depressed lately, like you weren't good enough for him, and his words stabbed at your heart. It was impossible not to keep replaying them over and over in your head.

You'd ultimately decided to give him space for the remainder of the day, not wanting to burden him in any way.

~

"Hey, sorry I've not been able to get off that damn phone all day. Want to go grab a bite?" John's voice came from the doorway.

"No. I'm okay. Thanks, though." You replied, not turning to look at him.

"Oh? Are you sure? It's dinner time, and I figured you haven't eaten." He tried again, walking over to you, and stopped in his tracks when he saw the tear stains literring your cheeks. "Baby, what's wrong?"

You looked up at him, your bottom lip trembling. "Am I annoying?"

"Annoying?" John looked utterly perplexed at your question. "Not at all honey, why would you think that?"

"When... when I closed the door earlier, I heard my name through it...and afterward you said "just annoying"." You sniffled out, unable to meet his eyes.

John sat for a moment, replaying the conversation in his head before remembering. "Oh! God no baby, that wasn't about you. I was on with Kate, and she asked if I'd been able to spend time with you yet since I got home, and I told her I haven't, and it's annoying. I don't think you're annoying at all."

He pulled you into his arms, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I'm so sorry you thought that."

You shook your head, a small laugh bubbling in your chest. "I shouldn't have even thought anything of it. I've just been down, lately, I suppose."

"Honey, you should've told me. I can't help you if I don't know what you're feeling." Price put his finger under your chin and lifted for you to look at him. "Why don't we go get some takeout and have a movie night in? How does that sound?"

You nodded your head and pressed your lips against his. "I love you John."

"I love you too, always."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: didn't go too angsty on this one lol. Thanks for reading!!

[naok-iyuu]

When the sun falls - Zed Necrodopolis x Reader

I am so sad one of my biggest comfort character doesn't have much fanfiction to honor him, so I'll try to work myself to fufill my desire and make some of you guys happy ! I am quite not satisfied with what I did, but I've spend so much time on it that it must be published now. (and why are the dialogue with the childhood friend better written than the actual overall fic???) Please do not hesitate to leave prompts or ideas you could have for future fanfictions, I'll gladly read them and write !

English is not my native language, I appologies for any grammar or other mistakes ! Don't hesitate to tell me for future work. Idea from Creative Writing Prompts My Masterlist

No warnings, just highschoolers being highschoolers.

Word count : 2.6k

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. It was when the sun made his smile a little bit brighter that you realised, Zed Necrodopolis was indeed making your heart beat faster.

_

You had taken the habbit of spending time near the football field when school's days were over, not wanting to go home the second the bell rung. Your childhood friend being a player in the seabrook team made it easier to find an excuse as why you were always near the team of shrimps. It became usual for the group of boys to see you, always sitting on the highest bleacher, reading a book or scrolling on your phone when words were too much to bear after a full day of eyeing them on the school board.

Maybe, you sometimes left your eyes wander, watching the jocks run all over the field, tossing balls, and screaming excitedly at each others. It was funny at times, even when you were secretly praying that one of those balls would never have the secret need to kiss your face.

Today wasn't the day you would get hit by a ball, but it was the day your eyes decided that a green haired boy was more interesting than your romance book about a super-hero and the girl he'll never have. Zed was the kind of guy that was easy to get along with. You both weren't close friends strictly speaking, but James, your childhood friend, made it easier to speak to the zombie. Conversations flowed safely when you two spoke, even when James was between you two, trying to feed conversations, hoping he'll get the two of you to become besties and hang out more with him. He was an optimist, something that really brought light to your life since a young age.

Your head was resting on your backpack, your body fully lying on the bleacher seating as the few last minutes of practice were almost over. Your hand hanging down was careful not to touch the ground, there was no way your skin was going to touch something long forgotten by a dirty student. Your eyes attentively followed Zed's green hair like he was the only guy you knew amongs the teenagers. Surely because he was the most noticeable, you had told yourself. Sometimes it hits you, why Zed was so popular amongs the folks in Seabrook. He was the first zombie who got his kind accepted by the humans, he was a good football captain and player. And now that his relationship with Addison ended a few months ago... It was safe to say that girls became a bit more aware of his charms. It would be a lie to say you've never noticed how handsome he looked, you just choose to ignore it, most of the time.

"Hey (L/n) !" Hearing your last name, you let your eyes drift lower to find the blond hair of James calling you with the biggest smile. Waiting down the bleachers, he breathed like he just ran twenty times the field. "Careful there, I can see you drowling from over here."

His voice was loud enought to reach your ears, and loud enought to catch the other boys attentions. He chuckled and a few players followed his humour with amused smiles, catching your attention. You narrowed your eyes, both slightly embarassed and annoyed that he had to call you out in front of all his teammates. You automatically stand up, picking your bag in one, strong hand, and made your way to him down the bleachers, already knowing that practice was over.

"Nice try James, I was just watching if your skills in football were better than mine." Switching you bag from your hand to your shoulder, you defended yourself with the tiniest amused smile, guiding his attention to anything else than you eyeing the captain of his team.

"Oh really ? What do you think then, did I improve myself ?" He asked, his joke long forgotten.

"Not really. You are not even reaching 10% of my football skills." Your smile grew wider as you made fun of him.

"Yeah yeah of course, how about we take that to the fi-"

"Hey James, time to take a shower buddy." You did not notice Zed approaching the two of you, only letting your eyes on him when he stood next to your friend and made his presence known. His elbow nudged James's, earning a scoff from him.

"I was going to, but I still need to take care of the lady remember ?" He moved his finger close to his temple, reminding him of your presence and how important you were.

"Oh I can take care of that, because it smells like death here." He waved his hand in front of his nose, making you chuckle against your will.

James tapped Zed's shoulder, turning himself to leave.

"Look who's talking Necrodopolis." He shook his head, looking at you. "I'll wait for you at the entrance." He then waved later to you, and you did too, smiling at his body leaving in direction of the locker room.

"Looks like you got rid of him." You now looked at Zed, your smile still full of playfulness. His eyes didn't lose time to search yours, raising slightly his head due to you still being on the bleacher stairs. You could have a better look at him this way, and didn't have to raise your head like you usually did. "Was my plan that obvious ?" He added to your teasing with a smile of his own, his body weight shifting on his left foot.

"Totally, I could see you wracking your brain from the football field, wondering how you would get to talk to me without James third wheeling." Funny flirty banter was your thing, whether you used it to smooth the atmosphere or to hint a slight interest. And in Zed's case... Well... You did admit to yourself that he was gorgeous.

"And I could see you staring, didn't know you had a thing for jocks." However, it was less of your thing when a charming boy used the same tricks as you. Zed's words made your cheeks grew pink, something you could easily blame to be the evening sun's fault.

"Just watching you boys play, it's pretty interesting sometimes."

"Only sometimes ?" He raised an amused eyebrow.

"Only sometimes."

"Too bad, I thought the team captain had caught your attention. You know, the handsome player with green hair." He attempted, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Really ? You're the team captain ? Since when ?" You let your face paint itself with a false air of surprise, playing more and more with the jokes he lets you have fun with.

"Oh it's recent, only one or two years since I joined the team. I also often forget how popular I've become." And again he shrugged his shoulders, delivering his line with the most unfazed facial expression you could have seen.

You laughed a bit louder than before, making a twinkle of victory appear in his eyes along with a charming smile. "Alright alright champ, I am just messing with you."

"I wouldn't have guessed." He mocked you a bit more, just to see you roll your eyes and shake your head with yet another giggle. A few seconds pass and Zed's can't help but notice how your eyes seems to have wandered to a thought deep hidden in your head. "What are you thinking about ?" He demanded, lowering his voice not to startle you in case you were already far into your daydream.

"I guess, I never really noticed... But the evening sun really compliments your hair." Too focus on the bright new color the sun created, you can't notice how Zed's cheeks became a lighter shade of pink, contrasting with his very pale skin. Sunddenly aware of his hair color he couldn't help but to run a hand through his locks, his eyes now shifting away from your face. His slight movement appear to break wathever spell you got yourself into and your eyes made their way back to his, not noticing his new attitude.

The next second, his eyes looked back at you, a thought of his own appearing behind the dark of his pupils. "I think I can find something well more complimenting than my crazy green hair. They are totally natural by the way."

His sentence seems to finally knock some sense into you, the very sense you had lost while looking at his hair, and the very same sense you had struggled to get back when your eyes looked at his. "I highly doubt that." Wide eyes take over your features to prove your point and your doubt before being washed by Zed's shaking his head.

"You do ? Okay, give me your hand if you are so sure of yourself." Stretching his hand in your direction, his brown orbs were pleading his case, puppy style, almost encouraging you to trust him.

You rolled your eyes, yet again, placing your hand in his. Your fingers curl around his skin, mimicking the way his just did around your hand. He does not lose the opportunity to take your second hand in his palm while your foot comes down your perch, trying to convince himself that your stability is his top priority. The grassy ground reminds you of how small you are compared to his giraffe heigh, and your head must now look up to gaze at his face. You tried to erase the thought his is skin being soft against yours, his hands being, oh so large, around your girl sized baby hands. But the task was way more difficult than you had imagined. In a soft motion, he exchanged both of your spot by making you rotate with him, his back was now facing the bleachers while you were greeted with the powerful sun on your face. You wondered how you did not became blind on the spot while Zed's face moved around tring to find several different angle to look at you. The skin on his face, moving without warning, cartooned his expressions which made you giggle. He looked so focused on his task that it made you feel self conscious about your look. "What you are doing ?" You try to quiet your giggle while your eyes followed his every move.

He focused his gaze on your eyes again, smiling with satisfaction. "The sun really compliments your eyes, they are beautiful."

At that moment, you couldn't quite grasp if it was the way he looked at you, or the way his voice gently complimented you, or maybe if it was just the fact that you were lying to yourself about being attracted to him, putting that affirmation far behind the fact that he was just charming. But his words stole all the air from your lungs and you felt extremely hot in a matter of seconds. His gaze didn't drift from yours, just admiring you even if he noticed the shy mess he just made of you. He was enough of a gentleman to not make a comment about it, and just appreciated it. Your thoughts racing faster than a rocket made your eyes dance in every direction possible, trying to find your words and confidence from earlier. Acknowledging the fact that you needed to respond, you bit your lower lip, trying to find the air you once had in your lungs.

"They are pretty common, really." You tried to put his words above your head, high enough so you wouldn't think nor take them for what they were.

"Have you seen my eyes ? That's what you can call common, you can even call them poop brown." His joke diverted you from your previous thoughts, obtaining, like it was a precious gift, another laugh from you. You shook your head and, at last, looked at him again. "Are you serious ? Have you seen your eyes under the sun's rays ?" It was easy to compliment other people, you would even shove their face in whatever you could find if that meant they could see how fine you thought they looked. But when it came to you, compliments, praises, were not allowed. Hell you even made yourself think that it was forbidden. But in that moment, you could see the determination in Zed's eyes to fight you teeth and nails just to make you hear him.

"My point, your eyes are beautiful." You were about to dismiss him again when he cut you out before he even saw you mouth starting to move. "And I am winning this one, you can no longer contradict me."

You sighed a small 'okay', your being eating you from inside so you would, in fact, contradict him. His eyes were quick to make you forget what you were going to fight for, and even quicker to make you wonder if something was indeed happening between you two. You couldn't shake those thoughts, maybe you were a hopeless romantic, but you guys were flirting... Right ? Not being able to read your thoughts made Zed's bite the inside of his cheek. Your face was an open book, James didn't lie about that when he talked about you. He could see the wheels turning behind your eyes, and your eyebrows moving to every feeling and image your brain was sending you. He decided to catch your attention once more.

"Hey, I was wondering..." His voice was gentle, almost feeling like the comfiest pillow you would want to lie on. "Would you like to-"

"Hey Necrodopolis ! What's taking you so long, practice over and I want to go home !" The strong voice of the coach resounded in your ears, making you jump on the spot. He almost made you have a heart attack.

Zed's eyes widened with frustration, his head falling backward in an attempt to regain some control over his emotions. His tongue licked his lips, almost bitting it. He turned his head to look at his coach who called him from the locker room doors. "I am coming, I just need to-"

"You'll talk to your girlfriend tomorrow ! Go take a shower and go home champ." You could see from afar the coach tapping his foot against the ground, Zed surely had ran out of talking privilege.

He sighed, turning his gaze to look at you with tiny apologising eyes. "I am sorry I have to go, coach orders." You nodded to show that you understood and didn't hold it against him. With a last and gentle 'I'll see you tomorrow' his hands softly left yours before jogging in the adult direction who seemed to scold him when he arrived in front of him, and maybe tease him a little.

Your hands suddenly felt cold, sinking in the fact your brain had erased on purpose. His hands had hold yours mid conversation and didn't let go. You haven't even thought more about it on the spot, like it was natural. Your heart was beating a bit faster than usual, it took a deep breath to ground yourself. It was when the sun made his smile a little bit brighter that you had realised, Zed Necrodopolis was indeed making your heart beat faster. And you were totally going to blame the sun for it.

"I guess you were too busy and forgot to meet me at the school entrance." James had reached your side from god knows where, his football uniform long forgotten and changed into some random t-shirt and sweat pants. He looked at you with a cocked eyebrow and the most annoying smirk he could have made up on the spot.

You shook your head from your previous thoughts to now fight your childhood friend who seemed to want to have fun about the fact he had left you alone with his captain. "You sure you showered ? That was pretty fast." The best defense is a good offense you convinced yourself, praying that James would leave you off the hook.

You started to walk away, hearing his foot following you closely before adding. "So, can you finally tell me what zombies taste like or am I, still, supposed to wait ?"

"Oh my f-..udging god !"

"Argh almost won a dollar in the swearing jar with this one." -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Am I tweaking or James parts are actually better ?

Thanks for taking the time to read my first work ! Like I said on top of the post, I am really not satisfied with how it turned out. I just feel like I did my boy dirty TwT I might be so in love that I can't even focus when writing about Zed, the sun's fault though ;)

[catsushizz]

My Belle - S.R

Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Warning: fluff at first then just angst, death, grief, major character death (do tell me if I miss something)

Summary: Spencer loves you like it was breathing but what would he do when that source of oxygen is gone?

a/n: first time writing Spencer, I'm a sucker for the angst I hope you like it!

---

Look how she lights up the sky...

Spencer heard it from a mile away which brought a small smile to his lips, he heard footsteps which isn't surprising that he knew it was yours because of the skip of your steps and that melody you kept humming.

He heard you open the door still humming the song as you took off your shoes. "Hey, Angel," he says lovingly as he greets you by the door.

You smile and kiss him on the cheek "Hello Dr. Handsome" he chuckled at the endearment and engulfed you in a tight hug.

You have been dating for 3 months and Spencer knew he was going too fast by telling you to share an apartment with him but that lingering doubt quickly disappeared as fast as it came when you suggested it yourself.

Spencer knew you were it for him. He knows your favorite movies to your favorite songs he knows almost everything about you actually.

You hummed the song and dragged Spencer to the living room "What got you in such a good mood?" Spencer chuckled.

"Having you all by myself today" you grinned, resting both of your hands on his shoulder. Spencer couldn't stop smiling, he was looking at you fondly, his hand on your waist as if it was meant to be there.

"Let's dance" you whispered, nuzzling your head to his chest "Explain how we are gonna dance with no music-"

"So far above me yet I...know his heart belongs to only me" You smile as you sing the song, you love changing the lyrics, Spencer specifically loves it when you change Evangeline to his name he remembered hearing it for the first time and he couldn't stop thinking about it for months.

"Je t'adore, Je t'aime Spencer" You chuckled at how off-key it was but it didn't matter when you saw that sweet smile of his. You started guiding him to move, your head resting near his heart and his finger stroking circles on your waist as he held you closer. Loving you was something he wished he had done a long time ago, he wished that he was there your whole life.

It became a routine, you dancing with him.

After a bad case, you'd sing for him, and if he was feeling down you'd urge him to stand and dance with him and that always made him forget why he was sad in the first place. He would never get tired of that song or your voice. Whenever you fight it always ends up with both of you in each other's arms and in tangled bed sheets in the morning.

3 months turned into a year and a year turned into 4 years and now you're engaged, his love never withered and neither did yours.

his team always asked him how he got so lucky he didn't know the answer to that and he just thanked whatever God that brought you to him.

But the gods were cruel. They give and they take.

He visited your grave every day with fresh flowers in his hands but they always ended up disheveled from how tight he was holding them. Everything changed after you left, he changed and he no longer rambled about his fun facts to the team, in fact, they hadn't heard him laugh or smile in a while.

He'd get snappy with them whenever they asked a simple question, his state wasn't any better too, he looked as if he needed to seek professional help.

"Spence?" JJ knocked on his apartment door but received no answer, she was about to try again but the door swung open. Spencer stood there annoyed and a frown displayed on his lips.

"What?" He asked, he didn't mean to sound so harsh but he was just having a hard time, he had a nightmare again, usually, it was you who would coax him until he calmed down but you were gone and it was a painful reminder every time he wakes up from a bad dream, he would much rather prefer to be stuck in that dream than face the truth.

"can I come in?" JJ's voice is gentle that was something he came to despise, everyone has been walking on eggshells whenever he's around and he hates it because it just makes him remember that you were gone.

Spencer let her in reluctantly, JJ's gaze darted everywhere in his apartment, it was a mess. She looked at Spencer with worry, a question hanging from the tip of her tongue.

As if sensing it, Spencer sighed and massaged his temple "No, I'm not using Dilaudid" he said harshly.

"That was not what I was gonna say-"

"Why are you here?" For the first time since she came in, he looked her in the eye. She freezes, she did not think this through.

"Spence, I know it has been hard for you, just let me help you- let us help you," she said with a hint of urgency in her voice.

Spencer clicked his tongue "I don't need help, get out" he calmly said but the way he said it begged to differ.

"I said get out!" He snapped making JJ flinch, she had never seen Spencer act like this but instead of backing out, she fought back.

"I know this is hard for you Spencer but didn't you stop and think that the whole team not only felt guilty because they couldn't save her but they lost her too? She was like family to them." She was crying now. Spencer was about to retort that they didn't know her like he did but she stopped him.

"I know she was your fiancé, Reid, but she was my sister, and losing her meant losing half of me so don't act like you're the only one grieving because we all are, let us help you and we can fix this, it might take a long- long time but let us do it together" she pleaded and fresh tears started to flow from Spencer's eyes.

It was quiet for a while nothing but broken sobs from both of them.

"I- I can't remember her voice" Spencer's voice trembled, his hands shaking making JJ engulf him in a hug. He held her tightly, his tears staining her clothes "I can't remember her voice" he repeated again like a broken record.

"shh, it's okay" JJ coed.

"I couldn't save her, I promised her I would protect her, s-she trusted me to protect her" he stutters, his breathing becoming labored "I don't know what to do, I love her too much to let her go"

"I know" JJ's voice broke. She remembered the night vividly, the night she lost you, she remembered how nothing could calm Spencer down, and she remembered how he cradled your blooded form from the comfort of your own bed, his sobbed mix with his overwhelming fast breathing, it tore her to shreds.

When you were at the hospital, she remembered the whole team was there, she remembered how Spencer couldn't sit still and how he had been crying for hours but when the doctor dropped the dreaded news, she could feel Spencer's heart drop, how his eyes became void of any emotions in just a second.

He dropped to the floor with his hand gripping his shirt near his heart where your head always rests when you're slow dancing, just remembering that made him let out a gut-wrenching cry, his shoulder shaking as he kept repeating the word 'no' over and over again.

When he felt like he couldn't breathe Morgan coaxed him to breathe with him but nothing could work. Losing someone special is like losing your purpose to function and having you gone was something he didn't realize he'd had to face.

--

"I have- uhm, I have a video of her," JJ said, pulling out a disc from her bag. Spencer had now calmed down, and seeing the disc from JJ's hand brought him an unfamiliar surge of emotions.

"She loved recording herself talking and singing, and she mentioned you here more than I can count" she chuckled holding back herself from crying.

She handed Spencer the disc with a tight-lipped smile "I'm gonna give you some privacy" she said taping his shoulder as she made her way out of his apartment.

Spencer didn't say anything nor did he move from his spot on the couch. The disc on his hand felt heavy as he stared at it.

He's scared, he's scared that maybe if he plays this video he won't ever move on and fall into a cycle where he can't stop watching the video for fear of forgetting your face and your voice.

He didn't even realize he had played the disc until he saw you and heard your voice in the video and when he heard it, it brought a new batch of tears pouring out from his eyes.

"Oh hi! Shit, how does this thing work?" You mumbled as you adjusted the camera. "JJ? Is this thing broken or am I just tweaking?" You called out, Spencer saw the camera shift to JJ her face contoured with annoyance.

"you're holding it wrong-" The video ended and for a few seconds it came back again but this time he was met with your beaming smile. Spencer choked on his tears, his heart clenching seeing your infectious smile.

"I met a guy" you giggled making Spencer smile despite the tears flowing down his cheeks "I'm gonna marry him someday, I just know it. He's my sister's colleague, he's smart and extremely handsome, and he likes reading as well, can you believe that?" You exhaled a disbelief sigh.

Hearing that brought a wave of nausea in his system, you never got to marry him.

The video then showed JJ looking at the camera with Emily on her side as JJ tells Emily to be quiet, and then the camera shifts to you and Spencer.

He remembers this, this was 2 years ago on New Year's Day, the both of you were at Rossi's mansion but decided to come out to have the time for both of yourselves.

You were singing but it was muffled because the camera was too far away "Move closer!" He heard Emily whisper "I can't, they'll see us" JJ rebutted but Emily grabbed the camera and the sound of her running with the camera violently shaking from her grasp made him chuckle.

He heard you clearly now, he had never been so thankful for Emily. You were humming and in between the humming, you told him that you love him and Spencer had to pause the video because he was having a hard time breathing again. He didn't finish the video and he fell asleep crying.

Spencer thinks he can't ever forget you, even if he settles down with someone else (which he doubts) he knows he can't ever forget you because loving you was different, different in a way where you'll yearn for it your entire life.

And when he played the tape again, the fleeting moment in which he genuinely smiles is then replaced by him crying again whenever you mention how much you really loved him.

Nothing feels light in grieving and when time passes it gets heavier it may be subtle but it's there. His future with you was forever gone in the wind, merely a whisper in his dreams and his heart ached for your warmth to be back again.

[its-your-mind]

Some Thoughts on the importance of physical touch and connection for the Hells: A reflection on the new animated intro.

In general, I think the Hells are a really strange and special group, especially for a dnd party. They pretty much laid all their baggage on the table within the first week of meeting each other (What the Fuck is Up With That?) almost as a litmus test: "hey, here's all the shit that comes with being me, last chance to run away if that's too much."

and none of them did. and they all kept choosing to stay, even as shit got even weirder and more and more disturbing answers came to light. I think that continued choice from all of them - to stay - is what makes the bonds between the Hells so deep and so special.

okay trauma analysis and party dynamics is a DIFFERENT POST but it was all RELEVANT INTRODUCTION bc the CHOOSING TO STAY and the KNOWING EACH OTHERS' SHIT are like. key components to understanding why I am so feral about this. okay hopefully you will understand. the body of my essay is below. it has pictures. it got... too long. so. it went under a read more. yw. anyway click below if you want a very detailed analysis of an animated intro that is literally only one minute and thirty seconds long

For the first bit, character intros for Fearne, Orym, Imogen, Ashton, there’s no physical contact.

BUT. First intro of hells as a team. Ashton Trauma Flashback interrupted by laudna approaching slowly from beside him with her hand gently in front of him to signal her presence without startling him, and THEN just talking at them. Bringing him out of those flashbacks. Reminding him where he is and who he’s with.

And tbh? For Ashton? Touch is always iffy, so this is almost a more understanding and kind way to bring them out of the flashback. Just physical presence is good! UNLESS. (unless) first actual touch. Fearne stealing their coin purse, so gently that they don’t even notice it (FLIRTING THROUGH THEFT callowmoore my beloved)

(also grabbed the cap that shows her with his coinpurse these fucking ANIMATORS)

okay pt 2 FLYING OFF THE AIRSHIP

Ashton's first instinct and priority is grab laudna’s hand bc he KNOWS she is made of paper mache and he is ALWAYS watching out for her out of the corner of his eye bc she is breakable and he’s not gonna let her break bc he KNOWS what it’s like to be breakable and need someone to catch you when you’re falling but ANYWAY. he grabs her he uses his hammer as a fulcrum to throw her at Imogen

because OF COURSE he knows that the safest and most comfortable space for laudna is in imogen’s arms. and the two of them wrap their arms around each other and hold tight Superman style bc ofc they do and once laudna is in imogen’s arms she’s absolutely delighted by this whole situation bc OFC SHE IS

(tf do you mean I can’t add more than ten images on mobile UGH fine I’ll finish writing then draft and move to PC the images are IMPORTANT TO MY POINT anyway insert lesbians here) (note from future mind: I have decided that these pic descriptions i left for myself to grab the right images are fucking hilarious so they’re staying in yw)

Then fearne (who had been on her way in that direction already) swoops under Ashton to catch him as he flips over from the momentum so he can land on her giant bird back and she can fly him away.

(Pics: It’s fine to touch Ash if you’re saving their life)

(also not pictured: chet staying on the ship but losing his hat, orym grabbing it out of the air, imogen casting fly on fcg right before she catches laudna, fcg flying over to grab orym) All of this happens in six seconds by the way. One round of combat. These animators are fucking incredible.

BACK TO CHARACTER INTROS laudna who is ofc alone and in the dark at the bottom of the Sun tree, reliving her past…

(Pic: sad lonely laudna)

right up until Imogen puts her head on her shoulder, and the darkness burns away into light. She doesn’t say anything, or talk with laudna - all it takes is that physical reminder that she’s not alone anymore, that there is warmth, that she is surrounded by a family who loves her so much they chose to turn down comfortable beds in a lord’s manor so that they could join her in sleeping at the bottom of the Sun Tree. (Fav lil detail - fearne wrapped around Orym like he’s a teddy bear, and holding tight to laudna’s blanket to make sure she can’t go anywhere.)

(Pics: THE POWER OF LESBIANS AND FOUND FAMILY)

fcg. Fuck. Starts with their flashback, with their red eyes and their buzzsaw, but almost immediately we see Ashton reach out to grab their shoulder and Orym whip out a vine to tie up their saw.

(pics: reaching out even if it might hurt youuuuu)

Imogen goes on her knees and wraps her arms around FCG’s other side, and the rest of them all gather around him, holding him to keep him and each other safe, but mostly just grounding him in the present by surrounding him physically until the flashback fades and he’s once more aware of his surroundings.

(Pics: what the fuck they just need to be held)

(once shit has calmed down fearne uses this opportunity to pick Ashton’s pocket again. Flirting through theft).

(Pic: fearne is a menace to society)

final fight scene. fuck yes.

(Pic: IT’S THURSDAY NIIIIIIIIIIIGHT)

This is mostly just giving all of them room to be badasses (as they deserve) - but there are some things!! First!!

(pics: THESE WITCHES BE BITCHES minus fearne sry fearne we miss u but you are on fire and laudna is made of wood currently)

Imogen and laudna casting spells back to back, trusting each other to take care of what’s on their side. Inseparable, even in a battle where their party has scattered to fight other enemies.

BUT. The BIG thing though in this sequence. Maybe my favorite part? Idk I don’t have a favorite. But!! Orym. taking out four of Otohan’s shadow knights. then facing off against her personally!! And it’s one-on-one, because this was Orym’s task alone - to find the person who attacked his leader and killed his family. He’s angry, but mostly he’s honed-in and focused and determined. This is his mission.

(Pics: WHO’S JUST A LIL GUY NOW HUH)

But then, when Otohan pushes him back…

(Pic: fuck. shit. fuck. im. fine. anYway. them.)

FCG and Ashton are there right behind him, and they put their arms out and catch him so he doesn’t fly back any farther. And there’s this look of surprise on his face, because once he lost Will, he never expected there to be anyone else standing behind him, ready to catch him. And yet, here they are.

(Pics: fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes GOOOO ORYM!!!)

They give Orym a push forward and follow behind him, and he walks back towards Otohan with confidence. Lil grin on his face, brisk walking pace - he even does a little fancy sword swoosh! Because maybe he’s not strong enough to take out Otohan on his own. But the thing is, he’s not alone anymore.

(Pic: THEY.)

None of them are alone. And whenever any of them forget, or slip into old habits and memories, the rest are right there to reach out a hand to remind them.

Building a family out of broken pieces is difficult even without an apocalypse. But the Hells have shown each other, over and over and over, often with their actions even more than their words, that they really are dedicated to this family that they've built together. This intro fucking slaps so hard and the animators deserve so much praise for how incredible this intro is

[hughesyodaddy43]

you're gonna be okay ⎸ J.H

Jack Hughes x Reader synopsis : when Jack loses a big game, he comes over to seek support from his favourite person. word count: 1.5k warnings: sad jack, fluff, angst? Authors note: I have more fanfics coming soon, i have a range of them pre -planned with covers and titles and I read everyones request so if i don't get to yours then it's because i already have a story planned for that player or request. I hope you like this one :)

I slumped down on my bed, easily immersing myself in the world of fiction, every now and then munching on the bowl of popcorn I had sitting beside me. Jack was playing for team USA tonight so I was waiting patiently for him to message me that the game ended so we could call or hang out. Something about these big games excited me, not for the sport but for the post game interviews. 

It was nice to watch the interviews and read through the comments as if you couldn't just ask Jack the same questions yourself and actually get real and honest answers. 

You didn't know the final score yet so you went on youtube to see if a post game interview was up and you were met with the prettiest blue puppy dog eyes you've ever seen, but you knew jack and this was definitely not gonna be a happy interview. You click on the video and are met with a saddened Jack on the verge of tears, your heart aches for him as you listen to his answers; you were mad that they would interview a 17year old on the verge of tears and still ask the most idiotic questions. 

I only made it about 5 minutes into the video before I  got a message on my phone.

Jack 💘:  I’m outside. 

                                                 Okay, coming down now.         

I  walk down towards the front door and see a dishevelled jack peering back at me.

“Hi. Can I come in?” The young hockey player asks while twirling with his fingers. 

“Of course” I answer, slightly smiling at him as I move my body so he can slip past me. 

He walks through my doorway and up towards my room, I trail behind him closely up until he reaches my bed and slumps down on it , exhaustion evident on his face as he looks up at me standing in the doorway. “Are you okay?” I asked quietly, not wanting to make him feel worse, though judging by the way his lip quivered and his head shook, I'm not sure that was the right decision. 

“We lost” he says just above a whisper 

“Hm?” I walked closer to him and sat beside him, reaching over to hold his hand that he was fiddling with in his lap. “We lost the game, we lost everything” he states, audible this time.

“Oh. well it’s okay-” "NO ITS NOT OKAY” Jack yells, standing up and turning to face me, running his hands through his freshly washed hair. “It's not okay, I let my team down, I let my parents down, I've let everyone down and I'm so tired” he rants on, quieting down towards the end. 

“Hey, hey . It is okay, alright? Just because you've lost this game, doesn't mean you've lost everything"

"yes it does, you have no idea what it's like to lose something like this. You don't have to worry about making sure you end up drafted. You'll never know.” ' Jack replies quickly, raising his voice once  again 

“you havent lost everything,i know it feels like it and i know you’re upset. But please don’t start yelling at me when I'm just trying to help you.'' He looks at me after I say this, tears filling up his eyes.

 “You’re right, im sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I'm just so angry at myself, I could've played better , we could've won but I let everyone down." I stand up and walk in front of him 

“Hockey is a team sport, Jack. One loss isn't your fault, besides all hockey players lose big games, even the best of the best.” Jack doesn't reply, instead he just nods his head and wipes a falling tear from his cheek.

“You’re an amazing player Jack, anyone can see that. You played well, and so did everyone else. Losses happen, it wouldn't be competitive if nobody lost.” He nods again, looking down at the ground. 

I sigh before continuing “why don't we just lay down and watch a movie?hm?” i ask 

The boy sniffles before nodding, replying with a light yeah as he makes his way back over to my bed. He sits against the headboard and watches me as I sit down and open my laptop. Stupidly i forgot to close the youtube tab i had opened from his interview and there it was, my boys said face displayed on my computer. I look over at Jack, he stares at the screen then back at me. 

“Sorry, i usually watch your post game interviews” i apologise.``its okay, i think its cute you watch my interviews” he smiles lightly at me, his beautiful smile that i didnt think i'd see tonight was there on display “what can i say? You're just too hard to resist” I joke, gaining a light chuckle from the boy  before fixing my eyes back to the screen so we can pick something to watch.

X

X

“Do you really think everything will be okay?” Jack asks in a mumble. “Mhm, you're gonna be okay” Jack leans up to face me “i'm gonna be okay” he repeats “you’re gonna be okay” i reply before he leans in and presses his soft lips on mine, we pull away and jack returns to his previous position, snuggling his face into my neck. “Goodnight, Jack. Love you” i say softly “mm night, love you too y/nn” jack replies before swiftly drifting off to a much needed sleep.

I wrap my arms around Jack in a warm embrace, sinking down into the pillows and pulling the blanket up higher. Light snores are audible from the boy as he leans into my touch, even when he's sleeping, he still manages to tighten his arms around me, lightly rubbing circles on my skin from where my shirt rolled up. I play with his hair while  allowing my eyes to grow heavy and fall into a peaceful slumber. Comfortable with the outcome of this otherwise devastating night

[paigesbasketball]

Under Oath

Prologue

NEW YORK CITYThe buzz of the city below barely reached the quiet sanctuary of my office, high above the chaos. Floor-to-ceiling windows showcased a sprawling view of Manhattan, but I was too busy typing away at my desk to notice. At 25, I had accomplished what most could only dream of—an undergraduate degree from Syracuse, a law degree from Yale, and a career as one of New York’s rising legal stars.

I was in the zone, preparing briefs for my next high-profile meeting, when my secretary, Sammy, knocked on the doorframe. “Ms. Johnson, you have a call from UCONN on line two.”

I froze. UCONN. Just hearing the name stirred an old, bitter ache. It wasn’t my pain, exactly—it was my sister’s. Her time there had been a nightmare, filled with humiliation and hardship. Picking up this call felt almost like a betrayal of everything she’d endured. But duty called. I sighed, composed myself, and answered, “This is Catayela Johnson, Esq. How may I help you?” My voice was professional, but there was a tinge of annoyance. People rarely called my office without an appointment—it was practically an unwritten law.

The voice on the other end made me pause.

“Hey, girl! How’s it going? Are you free right now?”

I blinked in surprise. “KK Arnold?”

Most people knew KK as a lively, chatty social media personality, but I knew her differently. She was my childhood best friend, the one who had been my rock through thick and thin. Without her, I doubted I’d even be here today.

“Girly, I’m never free,” I teased, “but I think I can make an exception. What’s up?”

Her voice shifted, becoming unusually serious. “Would you come to UCONN?”

I laughed nervously. “KK, I told you I’d catch one of your games someday. It’s just been hard—”

She cut me off sharply. “It’s not about that. It’s a legal matter.”

The shift in her tone immediately put me on edge. Concern crept into my voice. “Does this need to be handled at UCONN, or can you come to my office?”

There was a muffled sound on the line—whispers I couldn’t quite make out. My worry deepened. “KK? HELLO?”

“Oh, sorry!” she said, snapping back. “I think it’s best if you come up here tomorrow.”

“Alright,” I said, already mentally rearranging my schedule. “I’ll clear my day. See you tomorrow.”

As I hung up, I leaned back in my chair, staring out the window. What could KK have gotten herself into? “Sammy,” I called out, “cancel my meeting tomorrow. Just one, right?”

She nodded and immediately set to work.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

AT UCONNKK’s POV

The team stood around me, their expressions a mix of anticipation and skepticism. I tucked my phone away and turned to face them.

“She said she’ll talk to me tomorrow,” I announced, shrugging. “So I guess we’re driving to New York.”

Confusion rippled through the group. Jana tilted her head. “Wait—did she say we all could come to the office, or just you?”

I hesitated but brushed it off with a grin. “Okay, fine—she technically said just me. But trust me, she won’t mind. I’ve known her my whole life.”

Jana didn’t look entirely convinced, but before she could argue, I threw my arms up. “Alright, Huskies! Next stop: New York!”

The team broke into excited chatter, but I noticed one person hanging back. Paige sat in the corner, her expression distant and sad.

“What’s up, Captain? You look like you just lost a game,” I said, nudging her playfully.

Paige glanced at me, her blue eyes glassy. “I need a different lawyer,” she said softly.

I blinked, confused. “Wait—I just got us one. And trust me, she’s good. Top-tier. Yale graduate. One of the best in the city!”

“It’s not about that,” Paige said, shaking her head. “It’s…personal.”

I frowned. “Personal? What are you talking about?”

She hesitated, then took a deep breath. “I knew her when we were kids. It didn’t end well. She’d never willingly help me—not after what I did.”

“What could you have possibly done?” I asked, stunned.

Paige’s voice dropped to a near whisper. “Something unforgivable. And the worst part? I still have feelings for her.”

My jaw dropped. “You’re joking.”

She gave a bitter laugh. “I wish I were. But trust me—what I did was bad enough that she’d refuse to help me, even under oath. ”