#HELP ME IM OBSESSED WITH YOUR RESPONSE DOODLE

[crystallizsch]

oki my job here's done 🫡 jamimayu nation where are u-

good morning o7

i guess if i want more shippy jamimayu i’ll do it myself 😤✨

IAN W HAT.

YOU COME INTO MY INBOX WHILE IM AWAY JUST TO DO THIS- I- HFKSDJDFSKFJSAKL???? I opened this in public and had to struggle so hard just to maintain a straight face I had to panic exit sO FAST-

THEY'RE SO CUTE AND SOFT IM GOING TO JUST COMBUST 💥💥💥😭😭 as I would expect of the local master of drawing tender Jamiyuu moments oh my god this was a calculated attack right on my heart farewell this is the end of me (lies down)

Fine fine I will feed the jamimayu nation as well (population of maybe 3) you have very much Inspired me... technically I have once again reverted to my shitposting roots but HEY it was still cute enough I nuked myself drawing it

[tetzoro]

MY PRECIOUS LIL AIMSIES !! oh my gosh, forgive me for being 2 weeks late with this response !! T^T HOW ARE YOU DOING ?? i’m getting cozy and comfy while i write this because WAHHH I MISSED YOU SO MUCH !! </3 please take this zoro edit i found as a token of my apologies SOB </3

https://www.instagram.com/p/C6Pr4bYKKDj/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

EEEP i’m so glad that you’ve been doing well !! i’ve been seeing you all active and happy and that’s making me happy because !! you are a blossoming flower in this newfound season and it brightens my day to see you living life to the fullest <3 im doing good teehee !! i’ve been staying up far too late and working loads but </3 i power through WOOHOO !! <3

OMG PLZ thank tou for linking that ADORABLE fic !! i’ve been searching far and wide for more bokuto fics and i have finally been fed with one of our favorite dates of all things too !! YIPEEE !! pls tell your mootie that i said they are a true blessing to me </3 i really needed that CUTENESS SOB !! T^T oh kou… that silly man. i swear sometimes when we get icecream im on the brink of gagging because he’ll mix the most randomest flavors ever like NO !! WHY IS THERE PEANUT BUTTER AND BUBBLE GUM IN THE SAME CUP !! T^T but that’s only sometimes, he usually likes to get strawberry and i get vanilla !! ( i steal bites of his because i cant help myself </3 ) what’s your favorite ice cream flavor ?? I MUST KNOW !! >.<

TEEHEE STOP !! i’ll cry right now SOB T^T you are too sweet im giggling !! you make me feel so warm and welcomed and i cant help but feel giddy every time i come scrolling through your adorable lil bloggie <3 ILY ILY ILY AIMS !!

HELP KUROO AND BOKUTO CATOSONAS !! kuroo better show me that doodle or else… 💪🤜👊😾 it’s on !! but for real he so is a ragdoll, tinky is the fluffiest kitty ever !! ooo if i was a cat, i’d probably be a fluffy orange cat or calico !! i have a hard time choosing too so that’s just one i think might suit me >.< OOO if you were a cat, i think you’d be a pretty long haired brown tabby :3 those cats are soso pretty JUST LIKE YOU !! <3

THE BEACH YOU SAY ?!?! THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOSOSO MUCH FUN !! oh goodness, kuroo should know better than anyone that he should be wearing sunscreen !! that silly guy T^T im glad you kissed it better !! be careful though, he might not wear it on purpose just to get you to kiss him again !! so sneaky </3 do either of you burn easily ?? kou… burns like a tomato T^T he gets so red it’s honestly comedic and sometimes his friends will slap him on the back and he’ll just sit there eye twitching in sunburning pain … atsumu really enjoys seeing that apparently sigh. but !! it turns into a really nice tan and he looks up looking absolutely delicious in the end >:3

PLSPLSPLS YES !! it’s always the loud sloppy “ MMMMWUAH !!” sounds over and over again <3 he is so silly i swear !! you were right on the money, kou is such a physical touch guy and loves making me feel loved with all of the ways he shows his affection SOB !! i’m so obsessed with him, my affectionate adorable tinky !!

YESSS FELLOW FOODIE YIPEEE YIPEEE !! kuroo already knowing the drill is so sweet :,) his wallet is already pulling his money out while u look at the menu HELP !! ooo does he sometimes get silly and insist on feeding you ?? he seems like such a playful guy !! i could imagine him picking up the spoon and looking at you with softened eyes while he watches you enjoy your yummy snack <333 you guys are too cute !! T^T

WAHHH TEEHEE YES !! the soup was very delicious >.< and the flowers were soso pretty i could feel my sickness withering away with every look i had at them :( he is too sweet for this world i swear !! the confession was the cherry on top i swear if i hadn’t been sick i would’ve tackled him to the floor and smooched him all over SOB !!! </3

PLS kuroo and romcoms is such a lovely combo to think about !! him acting all stoic like “i would never cry over a romance that would be a bit dramatic” and then you look over during the sappy ending and his eyes are flooded with tears !! HE’S A SOFTY CONFIRMED !! omg you’re so right, he does seem like a marvel and star wars type of guy !! do you think he owns any of the lego sets and has them in his office at home ?? or what does he have in there ?? YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE !! kuromy my otp, my beloveds <333

EEEP TINKY TIME WOOHOOOO !! oh my gosh, this was actually such a good question i have never thought about that !! i could choose from so many, but im going to be silly right now and choose a cowboy au MWUAHAHA >:3 because cowboy bokuto does things to me that i can’t say on the internet *takes lasso out*. um.. pls anyway !! but cowboy au’s are always so much fun !! i feel like it would be so cool to live in a little house on the prairie while i take care of the horses and we go on horse rides frolicking through the tall grass and all that !! >.< imagining meeting him and he’s all like “ who’s this mysterious girl that appeared out of no where” and at first we’re both wary of eachother, then he saves me when the bad guys come with that yummy lasso and then kiss kiss fall in love… yes <3 i am in over my head here but there are just so many to choose from !!

ooo aimsies guess what… KUROMY QUESTION TIME !! MY FAVORITE !! :3 if you could pick any shojo anime to live in with kuroo, which would it be ?? ( im not sure if you have watched any shojo, so if you haven’t, you can pick any anime at all instead !! ) I MUST KNOW !!

EEEEP ily SOSO much aimsies and im hoping this ask finds you well <3 giving you so many smoochies and wishing you all the best !! sending you an invite to me and kou’s lil backyard bbq next week, u and kuroo can come and play around with sparklers with us and joke around with friends !! ILY ILY ILY SOB <3

- :3

EEE OMG :3 !! ! ! ! i am squeezing u SO TIGHT ! i’ve missed you sm :’) im ngl i read this the second you sent it to me, tearing into it like a lil letter and reading each and every word <3 it’s like we’re lil pen pals, yknow? i cherish u sm and im so happy to chat with u !! always !! and the zoro edit .. 😋🫶 so scrumptious , thank u for sharing it with me omgee ! my goal is to get u to watch one piece on day btw …

i’ve been doing okay <3 today was kind of rough >_< BUT !!!!! the fact i will be seeing kuroo (& ur tinky) on the big screen in two days is getting me through it all! how have you been doing !!! you excited for the movie ??? i hope you get to rest from work soon <33 u deserve to relax !!!

and OFC !!! i’m so so happy you enjoyed it hehe my fave ice cream is mint chocolate chip tho !!! bokuto fics are hard to come by these days :( omg … i kinda wanna write you one now 🫣 let me cook …

PLS FHDJDJ kuroo is running around frantically looking for the doodles , he’ll be reporting back with them soon !! he promises !! omg orange kitty or calico is so so cute :’) i can def see the vibes and can picture kitty!you next to kitty tinky eheheh and EEEP A BROWN TABBY !! i love brown kitties, they’re one of my faves !!

kuroo wil prob get burned at the beach all summer sob (same tho) but i will do my best and ease each one with a kiss !! as long as he does the same :’) NOT TSUMU SMACKING BOKUTOS BURN FJDJDJDJDJ fights him !!!

kuroo def likes to feed me every once in awhile :’) sometimes he takes it seriously and other times he just does it as an excuse to smear frosting or sugar or wtvr it is across my lips just so he can kiss it off >_< he’s very sweet about it tho hehehe

sob you and bokuto are so dear to me T^T in every lifetime !! every au !! every meet cute !! i am here cheering you both on !!! i’m your biggest fan :( i love that he takes care of you from the start, you deserve that hehe he’d make sure you took lots of breaks and such to make sure you don’t get sick again !!

tetsu is such a lil softy teehehe its so cute to catch him in the act. when we first started dating he tried sooo hard not to cry lol but deep down he just loves love so much that he can’t help but get emotional at the end of the movie when the couple prevails and end up happily ever after !! its secretly all he’s wanted and little did he know i was going to give it to him :3

COWBOY BOKUTO OH MY GOD . hed be such a lil rascal heheh PLS THE LASSO !!! i see u 🤭🤭 catch ur cowboy !!!!! after he saves you, he walks up to you, taking off his hat and placing it on his chest as he gives you a little bow. he’s so flustered as he checks in on you, asking if you’re alright with pink cheeks. GAAAAHH !!! such a cute lil gentleman who looks after you and protects you day & night !!!

omg i’ve seen a few shojo anime !! im not gonna lie — i once watched one called “say i love you” bc the main guy gave me kuroo vibes with his hair BAHAHHAA also idk if this counts as a shojo but wotakoi : love is hard for otaku is my FAVORITE romance anime and i see me & tetsu in it so much :’) idk we’d def have that office au romance ofc heheh so it’s fun to imagine !! there’s one guy in there that reminds me of tetsu & im so smitten with him .

YOU AND TINKY TIME ! ! do you guys have any pets together? if so, what kinds? if not, would you guys ever get one together ?? i gotta know !!!!

eeeep !! beloved :3 !! i hope you’re doing well and i can’t wait for the next time we chat bc we may be able to discuss the haikyuu movie !! AAAA !! smooching u sm and tetsu and i will be seeing you at the bbq omg !! can’t wait <333

[beesmygod]

look: the only arguments in favor of webtoons ive ever heard hinge greatly on the idea that the vastness of the audience on webtoons is crucial to one’s success in the “webcomic business” nowadays. people need money to live. to make money quickly in the entertainment business (and i would like to stress that this is the first time the artist makes a choice: when they decide to pursue art as a career. deciding to do this is not a choice that should be made lightly. additionally, i do not believe that people are being forced to turn to webcomics in order to make a living lol. can you even imagine), they turn toward the algorithmically curated and inflated numbers offered by webtoons.

i’ll start this off with my bone fides so i have to clarify any of this in follow up posts: i started workshopping my webcomic on tumblr in 2012 with doodles and by answering asks people would send me. i would also just post lore dumps for funsies. they are so barely related to the comic now, but they created interest and people asked me cool questions that made me think about the world i was creating. i started the comic in 2013. holy shit i really am coming up on a decade of webcomics. hold on i have to stand up and walk around for a second. picture to break up all these words so your eyes dont slide off the page:

i made enough money on patreon (as a very early adopter) to live in beaverton, oregon (with first 3, then 1 other roommate[s]) living the most spartan lifestyle a person could manage in order to avoid having to go back to my hometown. now i live in confusing moderate comfort in a house my bf and i bought in a burst of sheer market based luck right before everything exploded. we used all of my savings i earned working from age 15-30 as a down payment.

i still try to take care of myself entirely and contribute a proportional amt of my income to the bills. i use government aid and use(d) it get a lot of medical help that i would not have been able to afford otherwise (medicare for all btw its unconscionable that this isnt the norm). i sincerely enjoyed my poverty and i felt like i understood how to live under those parameters with ease and comfort. i was poor but i was free. i do not like that i have to disclose this in order for people not to immediately dismiss me as coming from a place of monetary privilege. this shit is none of your business. im not interested being assigned a perception to my work and character that does not come from my words and deeds. i do not want “poverty artist” to be the signifier attached to me, forever, that people can scrutinize and obsess over whether or not i deserve the adjective i dislike.

but for things i do like: i like my audience very much, and i hope that they understand that they are under no obligation to care for me, keep me alive, finance me, etc. that is entirely my responsibility. but it is through their continued donations and support that i am able to draw my comic full time in a lifestyle i found comfortable, something that i sincerely imagined would not be possible while i was still working and in college. my audience of ~1.5k (i think, google analytics is kinda whack. lotta bots. this is with all that shit i could find filtered out) has been built up gradually over the past near decade and is comprised of funny, lighthearted freaks of nature who make me laugh very frequently. i just cant let them know that or they will become too powerful and use jokes to destroy me. i dont think i have a single bad thing to say about AGS readers. you guys are a hoot lol.

i do not have a discord dedicated to my work because i find the idea pretty unappealing and have had moderator experience in the past on other websites that i did not enjoy. i did not have comments on my comic until this year. previously the only way to contact me was via twitter, tumblr ask or email. i advertise my comic twice on update days, once in the morning and once at night, so i dont flood dashboards. i do not sign up for zines or jobs. i do not promote my work otherwise. well, there’s a link in my sa avatar, but let’s be real. no one’s clicking that.

WITH ALL THAT SAID:

i cannot empathize with the people who pursue the webtoons line of monetization and i find parts of (what must be) their reasoning morally abhorrent. im not even going to get into the predatory and laughable “pay per page” concept, an idea so blatantly evil that if it were pitched in any other medium it would get you laughed out of the room at best. im not going to talk about the ridiculous audacity of a comic host demanding you produce a minimum number of panels “per page” (im old lol bear with me) in order to be granted the golden laurels of “publication” (another choice the artist makes is the choice to pursue becoming a “webtoons original” as a financial goal. i think this is wildly unreasonable for every reason. but whatever. you might as well bet on winning the lottery). im going to talk about the bizarre mentality i cannot wrap my head around when it comes to what people are expecting when they sign up for a website that openly flaunts how disinterested it is in anything other wringing its user base financially dry.

if webtoons is not interested in anything other than financial gain and their purpose is to make more money every quarter at any cost, then why would that mentality not directly impact and poison the relationship between you and your audience, as well as your relationship with your art?

but lets put even THAT aside. god there’s so much i could hammer on. i will just focus on audience right now.

1. the quantity of an audience is not proportional to the quality of the audience. i dont think anyone is going to debate with me that the webtoons audience is good lol. this is because the webtoons userbase is comprised almost entirely of random teenagers and adults under 25. this age range is permitted to act like insane hooligans (to an extent) because that’s what the vast majority of us were like in some capacity or another at that age. i frequently hear complaints from creators about how their webtoons audience are frequently ungrateful, irrational, and impatient to them. this is the obvious outcome when two parties, especially parties that are doing business with each other, are shoved together due to algorithmic decisions and not by their own volition. both parties have been robbed of the opportunity of building up a relationship of trust and respect between the artist and the audience. however, building up this relationship takes time. and people want to be be making money as artists right now. presumably.

2. the primary purpose of an audience is not to obtain money from them. at least, dear god, i really hope this is not the idea driving people’s desire to do webcomics as a career. the creators entering the field with this mindset are DOA, straight up. even if you were capable of hiding your odious motivations, whose money are you willing to pursue? would you change your comic if it meant making more money from the audience? do the highest bidders influence the artistic choices being made? is that the relationship you want with your audience? in that case, why not just take furry porn commissions, a field which makes fucking stacks upon stacks of cash? why bother with webcomics and all this extra work?

3. why would an audience of teens and young adults have money to spare? lol for real tho. teens dont often have unfettered access to cash. college age adults are famously deeply in debt to the nightmare state we live in. to jump into this audience with your hands held open is going to result in disappointment when they’ve already prioritized giving what little they have to artists they already know. i dont know what people are expecting with this one. it’s like panning for gold in a swimming pool.

this doesnt even touch on the uglier stuff. but the choice to go all in with webtoon is foolish, selfish, motivated by greed and childish false promises of fame. i do not have any respect for the artists that line up in the hopes that they can simply “jump the line” and skip one of the most, if not the single most, important aspects of a career in art, as though it’s a tutorial mission they are simply too advanced and skilled to sit through. i am not going to feel bad for or comfort the people who saw a company strangling and smothering everything it touches, a company that is subjecting its customers into increasingly more incremental means of payment, a company that has objectively unreasonable demands for the art they host compared to what they pay out, AND WILLINGLY SIGNED ON TO SECURE THEIR OWN BAG.

so that they didnt have to build an audience! the fuck!

my assessment is that to use webtoons is to have a vast amount of disrespect for your audience.

[chifuyusfingers]

Im obsessed with ur coloring in the boys tattoos works!! Could you do the reverse? Where they color in yours? With whoever u want!

~Tokyo revengers members Coloring Their S/O Tattoos.~

Mikey | Draken | Baji | Chifuyu

{Heya! I didn't put much into it but I hope you like it! And thank you though!}

----------------------------------------------------------

M i k e y

You had no hesitation letting him color your tattoos. “Have fun, babe.” You pinched your cheek and relaxed under the big tree you were both sitting under. Today you had thrown all your plans away just to be with mikey all day.

The wings on your forearm was now stained in hues of purple and green with accents of yellow. “So, besides today, how have you been lately?” Your gaze swayed from him to the inside of your eyelids as you were drifting to sleep slowly. “Okay, I suppose. School is annoying.” He laughed and your heart twinged with love.

You chuckled and looked down at your arm. "Mikey you done?" All you could hear was just a "hm".

“Let’s just rest for a little bit I'm tired.” You pushed the markers into the grass and your arm wrapped itself around his waist as you pulled him down and into your side. Mikey couldn’t fight it as his ear was filled with the sound of your mellowing heartbeat. Your fingers danced in his hair till you knew he was fast asleep.

You stayed awake just looking at his angelic features as the sight of your multi-colored arm shifted your focus. It was so meaningless to him but you loved it as you knew that it came from his heart and mind.

It was him– perfect.

~~~

B a j i

“Y/n! ” Baji called as he stepped into the large house. “I believe she's in the gazebo or her office, Mr.” One of the worked associates greeted baji at the front door. He grabbed the bags from baji's arms as he started walking. He was off towards the back of the house to find his fiancee.

“Y/n-!” he called as he rounded the corner of the house and into the back yard. The gazebo was empty. He stopped and stared for a moment. He was sure that this is where she'd be.

“Up here, my love.” A voice said as he looked up to see Y/n at her office balcony. “Hey there” he waved as your eyes squinted in a smile. “How was your day out?” you asked as you brought your teacup up to your lips. “It was okay~I have something to show you!” he called and held up a small shopping bag in his large hand. “I’ll be right up!” he raced back into the house and up the stairs to where you already stood waiting for him in the doorway to your office.

“What’s so amazing that you found today?” your eyebrow raised and he opened the bag quickly. “But first-” You interrupted you as you grabbed his face gently and gave him a passionate kiss. “What’s this for?” he asked as he continued to stare at your face lovingly. “Just happy to see you is all.” You smiled.

“Now, show mee.” he motioned to one of his hands that was stuck in the bag he held. He was brought back to reality and pulled the plastic package out of the bag.

“…Markers?” you asked and your tone of voice made him laugh. “Not just any markers. They’re tattoo markers. They’re safe for the skin.” He corrected you and you rolled your eyes. “You’re still on this?” You asked with an amused expression. “Of course I am! This was the deal and my love for you is way too much so.” he said shoving them into your hands so you could inspect the box.

You read the back and you had to admit he was right.

“You said I could color your tattoos IF I found tattoo markers. Safe for the skin and everything!” You knew he did it and that you had to hold up your part of the deal. “Okay fine.” You sighed as you handed the package back. “Yay! Beautiful Thank you!” He jumped and laid a gentle kiss on your nose.

“We can do it later before dinner.” You agreed.

—-

“Finally! You take forever.” He sighed as you moved your sunglasses up your nose. The grass tickled your bare legs as baji sat next to you. “I couldn’t help it. Chifuyu that jackass didn’t want to hang up the phone.” he stood on his knees and moved behind you. His hands gently rubbed your shoulders as your head fell in an exasperated manner.

“I hate to burst your bubble, Y/n. But, I called you out here for the deal. Not a massage.” You whined as you flopped down on the grass, your t-shirt lifting on your back.

“If this stains, I will make sure to throw out all color in your life. Your life will be a dull kaleidoscope-” “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, you big baby.” He laughed and opened his pouch full of the tattoo markers.

He lifted the back of your shirt more till the full picture was revealed. A dragon with demons following was the full picture- a dark reality…that he were going to make colorful. What can he do he loves your tattoos so much.

He sat on his lower back and got to work filling in the different parts of the dragon. Every once in awhile you would spasm and try to make him mess-up. Yet, with a slight tug on your hair, you would become limp and obedient again.

“I’m almost done.” Was the phrase that almost made you weep with joy. “Finally.” You let it slip and you felt a tug on your hair again. “Ow.” You rubbed your head. You could feel him draw and move the felt-tipped weapons on his back.

“Finished.” He cheered and grabbed his phone to take a picture. He showed it to you and ombre scaled decorated the dragon with the demon’s faces were colored red and blue. It looked nice. You saw a couple of smiley faces hidden in there and felt like everything looked complete.

“Okay, my turn now!” You yelled and grabbed his arm. You struggled and pulled him to the ground and grabbed the black marker that was in his hand. “Y/n, no.” he said strictly. “This wasn’t apart of the deal.” He expressed. “Excuse me? Sorry, I don’t speak Japanese.” Your english rambled off quickly from your tongue. He decided to just deal with it as you took your time drawing a mustache on his face along with random doodles you could think of.

You finally stopped your antics and took a picture with your phone to look at afterward. “You look so cute, look!” You pulled up the picture and shoved it in his face. “I look gross man!” He ridiculed but you wrapped him up in your arms quickly,

“My gross man.”

D r a k e n

You were on your period and hell you were pissed, your mood swings were just making the situation more shitty.

Draken on the other hand was just trying to help you but every now and then you'd snap at him for absolute no reason. "Oi, can you stop whining for once?"

He said with pretty much no emotion at all. And that's all it took for you to break down in tears.

Draken was taken aback, "babe hey, hey, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that please stop crying- I". “Wanna play tic-tac-toe?” He asked and you looked around, surprised he was asking. “Um-” He didn’t wait for an answer and grabbed your legs– pulling you closer to where he sat.

Draken took the permanent markers out which was on the floor for god knows why. You wiped the rest of your tears and grabbed the orange marker out of his hand. He lifted the sleeve of his long shirt and created the grid in black ink. “Wanna go first?” He asked and you took the opportunity to land an 'X’ in the grid.

“Fine. You win this tournament. But, I know I’ll win next time.” You said laying back and closing his eyes.

The bottom of your shirt lifted and he could see the familiar black ink on your side. “Stop staring at me like that, pervert. I have rights.” You pulled your shirt down and he let a laugh rip through your chest.

“Chill. I was just looking at your tattoo.” He said and you shrugged. “What about 'em?” You asked as his eyes closed once more. “Nothing. Just looking,” he sighed, “I wanted to be a tattoo artist before all of this.” One eye peeked open and you looked suspiciously at his figure. “Are you any good?"

Draken just chuckled at your question.

~~

“Give me one!” You lifted the side of your shirt and waited patiently.

He shrugged, finding nothing else better to do. You already had black ink staining your skin so he decided to add on. It was another simple dragon but it fit your character and personality perfectly.

Time seemed to slow as you tried to take a sneak peek of the masterpiece he were currently working on. You planned to take a picture later and get it done, yet, it would have to be in secret.

All of a sudden, the bedroom door popped open. “Welcome back to Earth.” Mikey greeted. He capped the marker and helped you up.

"Why are you here" You asked while getting up, "Rude Y/n Chan, I'm still gonna answer your question though POLITELY, Ken-chin called us here so that we can go on a short trip or something to make your day better. Right ken-chin". Mikey looked over at draken, "Right whatever, can we go now?" He looked over at you for your response and all you did was kissed his neck because of your damn height and tagged along behind Mikey.

“Woah. You got a new tattoo?” Hina said as she lifted up your shirt and you shooed her hands away.

“Eventually.”

C h i f u y u

"I GONNA THROW UP ON YOU WITH ALL MY MIGHT IF YOU TRY TO GET NEAR MY TATTOOS MISTER " You exclaimed loudly as he started following you like a lost puppy around the kitchen, where you were busy making your 'grilled cheese'.

"Babe C'mom little color won't hurt and it's not like I'm trying to bite your tattoos off-". " See, there you said it, you're exactly gonna bite my tattoos off" Chifuyu sighed having enough of your nothings, he suddenly back hugged you, you can feel his large hands wrapped around your hip.

"What do you think you're doing?". You asked as you turned around to see his face,

"If you're not gonna let me color your tattoos then I prefer to stick with you like a koala, and you sure as hell know I ain't letting go." Chifuyu said and you eventually gave up because you knew nothing will change even if you don't agree with fuyu.

So now here you are sitting on chifuyu's lap as he continued to color the wallflower on your shoulder. "You done?". "Hold on a minute babe it's almost over, -All done" Chifuyu replied.

You sat up and started making your way to the mirror to see what he actually did " Y/N!!! Wait" chifuyu voice said and you turned around to see your boyfriend running over to you.

"Wha-", before you could finish your sentence he lifted you up and threw you over his shoulder. "The actual fuck chifuyu, what did you do! PUT ME DOWN YOU ASS"

"It's just better if you don't see it ya know, and I'll make sure you don't see it until I leave" Chifuyu chuckled quietly as he continued making his way to your bedroom.

-------------------------------_-----_-------------------------------------

[rosepetalmark]

Not in the Stars

2.5k words

Renjun x Reader

warnings: alcohol mention

in which you plan to confess your love for your best friend to him at a party, but the universe has other plans in store for the both of you. 

You like Renjun. A lot. 

That was one sentence in your five years of friendship with Huang Renjun that you never thought you’d say to yourself, let alone admit to. 

You don’t know where these feelings came from, but all you know is that they’re strong and on your mind twenty four seven. Everything he says and does captivates your mind, causing your feelings for him to grow even stronger.

It’s as if these feelings for him suddenly hit you like a brick one day. You were strictly best friends last week, and now you have these unexplainable deep feelings for him, eating you alive and begging for you to confess to him.

It’s not that you’re opposed to dating Renjun, it’s just that he’s been your best friend for several years and he means so incredibly much to you. You just don’t want to risk losing him or making things between you two weird if he doesn’t feel the same. 

So you suppress your feelings. As long as you have Renjun as your best friend, that’s all that matters, right?

Jaemin always makes you second guess yourself, explaining that the dynamic duo that you and Renjun are would be ten times more incredible if you were dating. Since you’re already best friends and know everything about each other, why not date? Only bigger and better things can come from it he always says.

Although Jaemin makes strong points, you’re still scared Renjun will turn you away, mainly because you’re ninety nine percent certain that he only views you as a friend, nothing more and nothing less. 

Yeah you have sleepovers  and spend hours late at night talking on the phone with one another, but that’s what best friends do. If Huang Renjun has any feelings for you, you’re sure someone would have said something by now. 

You get the typical stares from old people when you make your daily trek to school in the morning, him waiting outside your house for you at exactly seven forty two, smiling so bright the second you walk out your front door.  

You constantly get mistaken as his girlfriend whenever you go out together on the weekend, which always causes a deep pink blush to appear on Renjun’s cheeks. He’s always quick to brush it off though, making it clear to everyone around you that you’re strictly best friends, and that neither of you view each other in that way. 

Boy is he wrong.

Everything about Renjun makes your heart flutter, and that’s something that scares you.

For starters, he excels so well in school. For someone who spends eighty percent of his time doodling instead of taking notes, he aces every test and can recite every piece of information that’s been discussed in class with no problem.

He’s caring and funny, and so unapologetically himself. He takes you to art museums on your spare time, talks about the latest conspiracy that’s on his mind, and always insists you go for milkshakes every Sunday night.

And boy was he cute. The way he tilts his head all the way back and crinkles his eyes when he laughs makes your heart absolutely melt.

Huang Renjun makes you happy and positive and there’s nothing more in this world that you want than to hold his hand and kiss him in public, as well as call him your boyfriend so bad. 

It wasn’t until you were out late with him, hanging out on the roof at Jeno’s house, trying to escape the loudness that was coming from inside. Jeno was throwing a kickback to celebrate the beginning of summer, something he does ever year, in which there’s always too many people inside, and you and Renjun find yourself on the roof trying to seek solace in the stars. 

Renjun looked so ethereal in the moonlight. There was nothing more that you wanted to do than press your lips ever so gently against his, and hold his hand while staring up at the stars displayed so brightly above you both in the dark sky. 

“What are you thinking about bubs?” Renjun asked, referring to the nickname he gave you when he found out that’s the name you gave your favourite stuffed rabbit when you were a child. 

God the way his voice sounded in this moment made you weak. The tipsiness you both experienced earlier was wearing off, causing your lack of hydration to become present through your raspy voices. 

But you don’t care. You’re with Renjun, and you are warm and comfortable and in love. 

In love. 

You’re in love with Huang Renjun and you can’t keep it in any longer.

Maybe this would be the best time to tell him. Every time you’re completely sober, you push the idea to the side, trying your best to forget your feelings for him even exist. What if Jun doesn’t feel the same? What if he does but months down the line you figure out you’re better off as friends, and then when you try to get back into your non-romantic routine, everything feels off? You always worry that things will go wrong and Renjun will eventually stop being your friend.

Not tonight though. Renjun looks gorgeous in the moonlight and the little bit of alcohol that remains in your system is acting as your source of encouragement, convincing you to confess to him right now and hope for the best outcome possible. 

“Love,” you reply nonchalantly. 

“Love?” he questions, staring back to you, seemingly surprised with your response. 

“Yeah. Just wondering what the universe has in store for me, you know?” you ask, turning your body to face his direction, criss crossing your legs over one another. “The idea of love both intrigues me and freaks me out. It’s exciting anticipating what will come from it, but the fear of something going wrong down the line makes me not want to pursue it, you know?” you say, staring innocently into his eyes.

He cocks his head, an intrigued look falling on his face. He purses his lips, looking as if he’s going to say something, but remains silent. 

You both remain in silence for the next several minutes, which causes your thoughts to wander. What if Renjun has caught on? Maybe he’s thinking of ways to turn you down gently. Or he’s trying to express that he somehow knows you’re talking about him, and he’s trying to do so in a similar manner. 

But the silence is killing you, and you want nothing more than for Renjun to say something. Anything to get your thoughts to shut up, and your heart race to stop rapidly beating.

“I think you shouldn’t be scared of love,” he finally says. 

Taking a deep breath, he looks off into the sky, admiring the many stars laying millions of miles away from you both. “I get that you never know what may come out of it, but I think it’s worth a shot to know you tried, and to experience something you’re not fully sure is going to work,”  he speaks softly.

“Take a look at the universe for example. It’s so big and undiscovered, yet millions of people are fascinated by it. We’re obsessed with the stars and galaxies and the possibility of aliens- which I know for a fact exist by the way, yet we’re not afraid to spend our time discovering them and giving them our attention. I think of love in a similar manner. Yeah the thought seems so broad and scary, as there’s so many things to experience and discover, but I think it’s worth it. You’re only going to learn new things about yourself and life, so why not give it a shot?”

He clears his throat, and pays his attention back to you. He has a look of determination in his eyes, and that only makes you grow even more anxious.

“Aren’t you a wise expert on love, Mr. Huang,” you chuckle.

“Well what can I say? I do a lot of thinking on my spare time when I’m not bickering with you,” he laughs, positioning himself on his arms so he can get a better view of the night sky.

“Hey!” you shout, pushing onto his arm, causing him to lose his newly comfortable position and to fall on his back. “What are you thinking about Ren? You have this sour look on your face.”

“Well your idea of love got me thinking,” he says softly, staring into your eyes.

Nervousness takes over your body. You have no idea what he’s going to say, and every second of silence is eating you up.

“And?” you say abruptly, eager to know what he’s about to say. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and I don’t know, I never thought much of it because I’m a wimp, but I think I’m going to ask Yeri out” he confesses, a small smile forming on his face. 

The mention of Yeri makes your heart sink. Yeri. He wants to ask out Yeri. Not you. 

Of course he likes Yeri. What isn’t there to like about her? She’s really pretty and polite, and they’re both the editors of the school newspaper, so they spend a great amount of time with each other. 

God this hurt. 

“Oh really,” you respond, with a less enthusiastic tone replacing your prior happy one.

“Yeah. We’ve been getting to know each other a lot more ever since we got asked to do this editorial on the basketball team, and I think I may have feelings for her”

“Well, um I think you should go for it Renjun, “ you reply, looking off into the stars to help keep what’s happening off your mind. If you look into his eyes, you’re certain you’ll start crying.

If it’s not you, you’re glad he has an interest in a girl with a golden heart and personality. 

“You think? What if she doesn’t like me?” he asks nervously, fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

“Like you said Ren, you never know what will come from love. Why not give it a shot if it’ll lead to potentially greater things not only within yourselves, but life in general? And if she ends up only seeing you as a friend, it’s okay. You’ll find someone one day who loves every part of you.”

And you can’t help but know deep down that that person is you. If Yeri rejects him, you’ll be right here to help him pick up the pieces, if not, you’ll still be here. As his best friend. Renjun deserves all the love and happiness the universe has to offer him, and despite being sad he shows no romantic interest in you, you’re glad he finds it in an amazing girl. 

“Alright cool, I guess I’ll ask her out on Monday when we meet up to discuss the paper then.” he says, smiling to himself. 

He looks so happy. Ecstatic even. You haven’t seen him smile this big since he won first place in your school’s art show.

“She’s here you know, at the party,” you say to him. “You should do it now.”

“You think?” he asks, eyes wide. 

Renjun was never one to act on impulse. He’s a man with a plan, and always has to do things by the book or else he’ll lose his hair. He likes structure and time, a complete flip from your bold and impulsive self. 

“Yeah, why not? You’re both here, you look really cute right now, and the stars are out in your favour, shining bright to provide you with the courage to do so.” 

This makes Renjun smile. You’ve always been a help in boosting his confidence, and you’re glad to be of assistance in such a nerve-wracking yet exciting period in his life. 

Standing up, he dusts the possible dirt off his legs. He crouches over, looking into your eyes and grabs your hand. “You’re the best y/n. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“As I with you,” you reply, a soft grin forming from your lips. “Now go downstairs and ask her out before she leaves.”

Standing back up, he begins walking to the door. “I’ll let you know how it goes!” he half shouts, pressing his hand to the door handle,  and making his way back into the house. 

You’re now left alone, on the rooftop, with just the stars and your thoughts. 

Why didn’t you bring up your feelings to him sooner, you thought. Now you’re only left sad and alone, because you were too scared to tell your best friend you’re in love with him. Confessing to him seemed so perfect in your mind a couple minutes ago, but sadly the universe has other plans in store for you. 

You decide to get comfortable and lie down, and begin to look at the constellations that are possibly present within the night sky. You can still hear the loud, most likely drunk people just a floor below you, and the vibration of the music hitting your body despite being away from the noise. But you don’t care. It’s just you and the sky, and you’re doing everything in your power to forget about the party below you, and to focus on the stars. 

As you point out the orion in the sky, you feel a buzz in your back pocket, indicating that you’ve got a text. Reaching for it, you unlock your phone, and see a notification stating that Renjun messaged you. Pressing on the messages app, you click on his name and read the following:

jun bug: she said yes!! we’re going out on tueday after we’re done editing :) (2:17 AM)

“Yes.” Yeri said yes. 

You’re happy for your best friend, but for yourself, you’re heartbroken. The possibility of dating him is now slim to none, especially since a potential girlfriend is in the mix, only making you more sad for yourself. 

You make sure to reply quick, and in a way that’ll make him happy, and hopefully provide you with the positivity that everything will be okay.

y/n: i’m so happy for you ren <3 (2:18 AM)

As you press send, you feel the tears start to slide down your cheeks. You’re happy for him, you really are, but you can’t help but wish that things went differently, and that you were in Yeri’s position. 

But as Renjun said before, love can be scary. It’s a learning experience, and if it doesn’t work out, you just need to take what you can from it, and hope for the best in the future. 

So you’ll take his words, and you’ll try your best to move on. 

It’ll be tough, but you hope to god that one day he’ll just be your best friend, and that this heartbreak won’t last with you forever. 

[lazysideblog]

Couple asks + bonus Dylas

Hi all, I’ve been feeling kinda spammy by answering all asks one by one each weekend, so I’ve put them all together here. Also replying some unpopular opinions I’ve got later, some of which I could not answer by replying because character limit! I might keep doing this to avoid spamming you all!

(Longish post, so you’ll get a little Dylas I’ve doodled on my sketchbook while testing some colored pencils by the end of it!)

@miraimiisu said: im reading your amazing rf4 accomplishments and im like "holy heck thats a LOT of dedication" im proud of u

Ah thanks sweet! I was really obsessed with this game back then, and obsessive me knows no limit (for good or bad, unfortunately so I’ve learned...) But yeah, feels good that you’re proud, makes me feel proud too!

For those wondering, they’re probably referring this post, with some screenshots such as:

Everyone’s 100 friendship points dialogue (and here’s how I did it)

Every pet name response choice for every bachelor

9,999,999 gifts for the boys (and girls here)

What happens when you buy the 198,000,000g house

Here’s the max money cap too, just out of curiosity

@butterballin said: I don't suppose you covered the bachelorette pet name reactions? Also the reactions to the marriage pet names as I think those have new options for everyone?

No, I haven’t taken screenshots of the bachelorettes married pet names, feel free to do it if you feel like, that’s way too much work for me to go through that again so soon haha. I think I have a couple from my Dolce save, in which I’ve chosen to call her master (and she likes it pffft) and also made her call me master too, cause why the fuck not. Those are links, you can check it out. 

Also, for the bachelors I only have the reaction for the marriage pet names, now I’m kinda wondering what they say with each choice when you start dating... I know Doug’s a little shit who won’t let you pick goofy names, for instance. Wondering about the others, I never called Dylas anything other than Big D. Oh well, guess I’ll add that to the do to list for the remaster run! 👀

Anonymous said: Unpopular rf4 opinion: ..........I don’t like Leon and Forte together. I don’t think Forte finds his teasing funny or flirtatious at all and I feel like the ship is very one-sided.

Yeah I see at you mean. I don’t remember shipping them back then, since I’ve always thought Meg was way more into Forte than Leon, but I do understand where the shipping is coming. He does mention he finds her interesting I think, but I think he feels the same with Dylas, cause both are so easily flustered and easy to mess with, I guess Leon can’t help himself. I do think Leon and Forte are too different though, and I agree with you she must definitely not enjoy the teasing and the pranks he plays on her using Kiel. Forte is too stern and since she’s a knight, it’s hard for her to put her guard down, and I don’t think teasing is what would do the trick. Leon too has his guards up, and the teasing is how he cope--he needs someone he can open up instead of using his defense mechanisms, so yeah, double defense on this ship hahaa, what could go wrong? 

Digressing a bit here, I do think Leon and Dylas could make a good pair. I mean, they both have a lot in common, being both hot bishies guardians for Venti, who are now sort of displaced in a town who doesn’t look like what it used to, with no way of knowing what happened to the people they’ve left behind. I find adorable when Leon comforts Dylas about this issue, and I would like to see what they could be with some work on both sides to make it work. 

@rapidfur said: Shara is not that bad; a lot of people complain about her being forced as the main love interest and being boring, but her kind and sweet personality is nice, and she didn’t feel too shoved in my face? The intro featuring her as your lover even if ur not married to her kinda sucks, but she gets a lot of undeserved hate. >:/

Yeah, I guess Shara wasn’t all that bad after all, she was sweet and friendly and caring and had a cute design. Maybe people don’t like her as much cause there are a lot of wacky girls you can marry, and in comparison she’s undoubtedly the plainest, which doesn’t need to be a bad thing. But I’m on the side that feels strongly she is forced, I can say that because after seeing the new intro in which Micah run past all the girls to fall in the arms of Shara, I felt like maybe she was the one I was supposed to marry for the story to make sense. Even though I was going for Raven, I thought I could marry her in another save file, after marrying Shara, the canon girl. I have no idea why I thought that would be a good idea, sounds dumb now, but this is what I did. Little did I know that marriage in this game involved Aquaticus kidnapping your bride only to have you go through hell to save her before actually marrying pfft. I guess I felt bitter that after all that, I had to be married to a girl I didn’t even chose in the first place, then I stopped playing after a while. Never married Raven and I low key felt guilty for the longest time, also a bit resentful at the game for that Shara intro. 

But anyways, none of this is Shara’s fault to begin with, so I see your point where she gets lots of underserved hate. I just think that the hatred would not happen in the first place were not for that intro.

@summersquashpatch said: I posted the picture and tried to tag you but I'm not sure it worked...

I answered you twice, but the ask is still in my inbox, can you confirm me if you got an answer or two or if tumblr ate them all up? I did see the pic, thanks for showing!

Sorry for long post again, have a small, slightly smudged Dylas!

[jxxhyuk-blog]

( JEON WONWOO | CISMALE | HE/HIM ) you’ve heard of matthew kim, right ?? wait, really ? they’re the friendly writer who’s way too obsessed with music, geek culture, & web toons. somehow, they managed to major in english in college. i think they’re twenty-one. they’re the kind of boy next door that enjoys doodling all over his notebooks or any papers around him, staying home to read a good book or watch a tv show instead of going out, & writing song lyrics. some people told me they’re supposedly pretty imaginative, supportive, & considerate. but i think they’re just blinded by a pretty face. they’re clearly laid-back, forgetful, & compulsive. their favorite thing about buzzfeed is the quizzes.

‘SUP KIDS! this is your friendly neighborhood spider-man hels, the mid-20s old ass woman girl who typed an app in record time and almost hurt herself (the problems of being old, istg). you know what else is a record? me, having a 21 year old muse. IT’S BEEN MONTHS, ISTG, I’M THE GRANDMA FRIEND™ (please refer to this post) I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH YOU YOUNGSTERS. but here i am, SO LOVE MY BABY GEEK LAZY BOY. he’s very Relatable as you all might notice in this post and in future interactions djaskld. ALSO!! i didn’t forget the people in my ims, ok, i will get there in a bit. but if we ain’t talking yet and you’d like to plot with matthew, like this post and i will message you! enough about ooc bs, let’s go to the interesting (and actual helpful to plot) part, shall we!?

everyone knows him by matthew, but that’s his “adopted” english name. his real name is kim joohyuk. he’s too used to matthew (or matt), though!! his mother (and me) is the only one who still calls him joohyuk or hyukie.  

talking about his mother: she is his only family. she got pregnant during high school, the child was obviously her boyfriend’s, but he couldn’t accept the situation (it would ruin his future, the college applications he had already sent, would make his parents drop him, for sure). on another hand, she never thought on not having the child, as she grew up in a christian, catholic family. telling her parents was a pain, though―they said how disappointed they were and how they would not help her, that she would have to take full responsibility for her doings. and so she did: through struggles of moving far away from her family and past for her own sake, she gave birth to matthew in new jersey.  

the age difference between he and his mom is 17, almost 18. that being said, it comes with no surprise that she is his best friend. she raised him, making sure he would never think she didn’t support him, and basically put all her future on him. he knows her story and she is the person he admires the most and never stops trying to make her even more proud of him.  

truth be told, he had a pretty normal childhood. he was a happy, intelligent kid, very accepting of others, had a lot of friends and played with them a lot. he also played soccer growing up and, tbh, he’s pretty good? though he became kind lazy the older he got...  

although bullied in middle and high school, he managed to keep himself together. of course, though, that made him grow a bit more introverted and insecure, more into trying to enjoy his own person and not putting much expectation on other people (or even himself).  

he was always a year ahead, thus, he got into college earlier and recently graduated in nyu. he was an intern in buzzfeed new york, but after graduation, he got transfered to atlanta as a writer (he couldn’t be happier, tbh).  

although his mother doesn’t live with him, she did move to atlanta too. talk about the best mom and hype woman in the world.  

i wouldn’t say he is new around here, because, you know, he’s been in atlanta for months now so...  

EXTRA STUFF...  

“has he ever been to sdcc?” you can bet he saved money just to go literally to the other side of the country (as he lived in new york) just to go to sdcc (he went at least three years in a roll during college). “but there’s a comic con in new york!” he doesn’t care, he wanted SAN DIEGO’s.  

“what kind of tv shows he likes?” sci-fi, anything that doesn’t make any sense, comedy shows, anything that makes him think too hard.  

though his taste for books follow this same thing, he doesn’t deny “classics”... he’s a bookworm... he reads anything, truly.  

“marvel or dc?” he prefers to die than to choose (but he is trash for xmen, so... you see the problem...)  

as for music... he listens pretty much anything? it really depends on his mood.  

which brings me to: he will sing disney movies songs, he might even sing high school musical (rip son), and he will quote animation movies and expect you to get it (and if you don’t, he will shake his head with a tsk)  

ngl, he’s kind of a hopeless romantic. you know those people who believe in fate and “things happen for a reason”? so... matthew.  

he’s always writing something... either for work or for himself. from song lyrics to actual stories, either messy organized on his desk or on his laptop’s folders.  

ALSO! his specs are for real... he has eyestrain and little astigmatism. but no, he doesn’t use them all the time, but at work? while writing? definitely!   

so, that all being said, let’s talk about PLOTS: anything is very wanted, so bring it on, fAM!! a best friend, close friends, ex fling (i am saying fling bc??? “has matthew ever dated for real?” idk man???), other writers!!!!!, people who try to drag him out and he gets all “my tv shows won’t be watched by themselves”, people to complain about his mess at work, people to press him to do his stuff on time, people from the tasty team that has to kick him out before he gets the food, neighbors!!!!!....... seriously, anything, just come @ me and let’s brainstorm

[theday]

tagged by @minhyukwithagun thank u ayesha this looks intersting and ive never done this one befroe :-0

WHATS YOUR FAVORITE SONG(S) TO SING/HUM? i rarely hum/sing conscioulsy so i dont know tbh

WHATS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER/TREE/PLANT (ALL 3 OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE AN ANSWER TO)? I LIKE succ plants as for flowers i really like the smell of lavenders !! all trees are good trees ;-0

FAVORITE COLOR(S)? blue and green!! yellow is Up There as well 

WHAT DO YOU ALWAYS DOODLE (IF YOU EVER DO)? whatever anime character im intersted in during that period of time lmao

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE/TEA? IF YOU DON’T LIKE THOSE WHATS YOUR FAV WARM DRINK? i take my tea with at least two packets of sugar but most of the time i just drink water 

FAVORITE CANDLE SCENT? i dont like the smell of candles/perfumes bc some make my head hurt :-( i prefer the scent of fresh air but i dont keep my windows open lol

SUNRISE OR SUNSET? sunset im never awake for the sunrise 

WHAT PERFUME DO YOU WEAR, IF ANY? pass

WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO DANCE MOVE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE? pass 2

FAVORITE QUOTE? suddenly my brain decides to erase every quote i know all i can remember is “hows the weather outside? its sunny” lmh has taken over

FUZZY SOCKS OR HOUSE SLIPPERS? i used to always wear house slippers!!! socks can perish

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? v dark brown aka black

WHATS YOUR FAVORITE EYE COLOR ON OTHERS?  i find it rly cool when peoples eyes are more thnan one colour (god i reread this and thought i said “i find it rly cool when ppl have eyes” like wow me too?)

FAVORITE SEASON? WHY? theres only one season here but im a big fan of spring and autumn

CHEEK, NECK, OR NOSE KISSES? i wouldnt mind giving/receiving cheek kisses but thats.. about it?? i like thinking abt other people kissing each other where im not involved and neck kisses r ... cute and intimate so those are nice to think abt too :-D 

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPY PLACE LOOK LIKE? a bright room?? where i can stay forever and watch whatever i want to watch and where i basically have 0 responsibilities kind of like a jail but nicer

FAVORITE BREED OF DOG? i used to b rly obsessed with jack russells??? but now corgis are rly cute too every dog is cute 

DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE MARRIED? IF SO, WHAT COLORS WOULD YOU PICK FOR YOUR WEDDING THEME? i dont want to get married but if i could help pick a colour for someone else’s wedding id choose yellow and white or blue and green?? all very pastel-y though id rather die than see some bright ugly yellow at a wedding

CURSIVE OR PRINT? im assuming print means like. normal?? idk cursive is nice to look at but i could never do it 

SILK OR LACE? silk is nice to touch :-0 id never wear either though

WHAT’S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? capricorn so im the biggest soil

FAVORITE WEATHER? WHEN ITS RLY WINDY BUT you can still feel a bit of the sun!!!!!!!! 

im tagging @pastelminhyuks and @lvoemoonbin and @tokayhk bc this ones rly unique so i dont think you guys hvae done this

[boingoalive1988]

how do you get inspiration for your drawings based on ld songs? i’m not particularly creative and i want to try doing that but i have no idea where to start

sorry for the late response i have to be in the right... like headspace to answer this properly i feel

if youre like me you might listen to songs and start imagining music videos for them in your head. nothing too coherent, but a general idea. the songs i make art for ive listened to on repeat for a handful of hours at the very least. not in one sitting, but ill find myself listening to it a lot. some of the first things i think about when i want to draw a piece for a song is “whats the vibe? is it imposing? what do i feel when i listen to it? does it instill a sense of urgency?”

i have to be very familiar with the song before i can draw something for it. but thats just me, though

dont feel bad if what you want doesnt come to you on the page immediately. a lot of my very early sketches are super sketchy doodles that mostly pertain to composition- drawing rough figures roughly where i want something to be in the final

usually the end product of what i draw is a, per se concept art or thumbnail of a potential music video id make for it. this may not work depending on what song you want to draw a piece for, but most of the songs ive drawn stuff for have a narrative or loose storyline, which i feel makes this process a lot easier. an example

my general thought process behind this was “this track feels slightly oppressive and desperate- the protagonist is trying a bit too hard to bring someone on his side to the point of obsession- he has to win, he has to convince this guy that his batshit conspiracy theories are real”

thought process behind composition: having his face more front and center, with veiny grabby hands also foreground, with arm flailing backwards unnaturally in the background, illustrates both the oppressiveness and desperateness of the protagonist by making his stature seem demanding and out of control simultaneously. the tangled phone cords around his “demanding” arm also contribute to this. the dark, red, cluttered, dimly lit right side of the piece in contrast to the clean, flat, simple, brighter left side of the piece, intersected by that whatever you call it, cartoon phone bolt looking thing, helps shows the contrast between the mad protagonist and the less than willing... not protagonist without any mention of their facial expression.

if that was a bit too much of a tangent which i do that a lot- in short, truly capture what the mood of the song is, and if there is one, a message or storyline. dont be afraid to create throwaway characters you may never draw again in order to illustrate the songs point (the character in the bottom left is nameless, and only serves to... well, illustrate the songs oppressive and demanding mood)

i hope this helped, but it also may not have helped at all, but either way thanks for giving me the opportunity to write this. i hope it helps somebody at least. ill have to thoroughly document my thought process next time i want to draw another piece of ld art, which im already considering and thinking about

[felidaereverse]

😘🌺💫

😘 (talk about your crush or partner) - *thinks about crush* *makes a sound of lorge a n x i e t y* yes they are so so awesome im yelling. i didn’t know it was possible to be that beautiful? and smart? and have a responsible and productive life? but im highkey conflicted and want to punch myself so yeah i have no idea whats going on in that area ;________;

🌺 (which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?) - i now inglish eye promis. I’m also taking Latin rn and that’s really cool. I would love to learn any language or all of them tbh like wow languages are so amazing!! overall!!!! how is language so cool and good??????????

💫 (who inspires you?) - I don’t really think about who inspires me very often, but I guess I’d say all these writers and artists and kinds of people on this hellsite. thanks for putting up with it. I appreciate it so much you’re super great :)

(full symbols/questions list under the cut. ask me more if you want!)

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

😘 talk about your crush or partner

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

��� what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

💙 what annoys you about some people?

😤 do you get angry easily?

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

☕️ talk about your ideal day

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

💧 when was the last time you cried?

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

😪 what are you sick of?

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

🐴 opinion on __?

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

🌍 which country do you live in?

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

🐵 which quotes changed you?

💭 do you keep a diary?

💫 who inspires you?

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

🐱 what’s your dream pet like?

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be?

[sarahburness]

Moving Through Grief: I’m Strong Because I Feel It All

“Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.” ~Unknown

It’s been almost six months now. Half of a year without my brother and the grief still visits. I’m pretty sure grief doesn’t actually go away, it just gets further and further apart.

People continue to ask me how I am so “strong” through all of this, mistaking my happy moments as the full picture.

I continue to tell them strength comes because I feel it all.

The story in itself is my therapy, my chance to relive the amazing memories, my chance to show you the waves of grief I ride.

The last thing I told my conscious brother was, “But I believe in miracles, I really do.”

To be fair, the last thing I really told him was a travel story about me using a squatty-potty in Thailand, in hopes that humor would bring him back to responsiveness.

The thing is, I really did believe a miracle was possible, or at least I wanted to believe. Surely it wasn’t his time to go. The all divine higher power wouldn’t take away my big brother, my role model, my mom’s baby boy. It simply wasn’t time.

The tumor on his spine seemed to disagree with me though.

My brother is gone now and there is a human sized hole in the universe that I am living in, and yet I survive; in fact, I am thriving in this life that I have now.

But let’s back up a little, because I can’t just tell you about how I move through this season of grief without totally and completely honoring the human my brother was. He called me his little buddy, and though my oldest brother was the babysitter, Kirk always whispered into my ear that he was for real the one in charge.

He liked Dungeon and Dragons, donuts, finishing a great book, writing and doodling in a brown journal probably made of suede or something cool like that. He loved to flip me upside-down or hold me down and tickle me until I was completely sure I would pee my pants. He would say things that didn’t make any sense to me until later when I would sit and contemplate in stillness.

Something about Kirk’s soul was so playful but inspired me to be still and live in the presence that I have. He did things like build houses out of mud for sustainability and turn medians into produce farms. He took killer photos and made clay statues that I used to think would move in the night and haunt me.

Kirk told me “to try everything once, unless that one thing will kill you, then skip that one.” Which is why you can catch me building a business that makes zero sense to who I am, traveling to foreign countries when I should probably be building a 401K or something else adults do. But when there’s a human size hole in your universe, you do things for joy. Maybe it’s to honor them, maybe it’s because you live life to the fullest possible amount there can ever be. Either way, I’ll keep moving only for things that light my soul on fire.

And then there was the cancer.

You know how if you endure something just the right amount, it kind of becomes your normal? Repetitive chaos in your life has a way of doing that. And after watching my grandma battle cancer and win, my mom battle cancer and win, and Kirk beating it over and over again, it felt like the norm. Like it was just a thing that plagued my family, but we always move out of it.

Everyone handles something like this differently; personally, I’m that “ray of sunshine, glass half full and hey, I’ll help you with your glass too” kind of girl. Sunshine and cancer don’t blend well together. I got really good at smiling, cheering people up, and ignoring the invader in our lives.

When I opened my phone and received the text reading, “He took a turn for the worse,” my soul didn’t believe it. I hopped on a plane, believing my sunshine would be enough to stop this spiral.

My sunshine was not enough to bring him back to life.

My sunshine was dimmed to its darkest.

My glass was tipped over.

Grief overwhelmed my soul. Gut wrenching, unexplainable, dynamic grief.

It has been almost six months now since this hole was created in my universe, and every day someone asks me how I am so “strong” or “positive.” I will tell you exactly how.

When I’m mad, I get mad. I allow myself to hear why I am mad because I know answers are on the other side of that. I don’t place my anger on anyone or anything. I just let it out as it is, even if it doesn’t make any sense.

When I’m sad, I get sad. Even if that means I cry in my car because I walked passed a flavor of ice cream that he enjoyed. Even if that means crying on my birthday because I realized it was the first year I wouldn’t hear from him. Even if that means I cry for no other reason besides missing my brother. I let it flow because I am alive and I can feel.

And when I’m happy, you best believe I’m happier than a three year old in between meltdowns. Because of all of the human emotions that I get to endure, the one he would want me to amplify the most is wild, epic, unleashed happiness.

They say grief is like waves, and I honestly couldn’t explain it any more eloquently than that. As a professional beach-goer, the thing I can tell you about waves is that they have two extremes; if you work with the waves they are flowing and forgiving, if you fight against them they will pull you under to the depths.

This is how you move with grace through grief. The fight creates a deep abyss of suffering, the flow creates a space for forgiveness. I’m not saying there won’t be pain; there will be deafening pain to endure on this ride. And on the other side of that pain is forgiving and wild happiness that I like to think our lost pieces are sending to us. This is how I am strong through my grief.

I am mad, sad, and happy sometimes all in one day. I feel pain and yet I live so passionately, exactly the way my brother would want me to. I am not strong because I am positive; I am strong because I feel it all. Strength hides in the depth of every emotion. Tap into each flow.

About Megan Seamans

Megan Seamans is a life coach for women who want to get out of their head and on with the life they're obsessed with. She helps them get back to their core being by supporting them in moving out of blocks such as fear, doubt, overwhelm, and their comfort zone. Grab her free journal guide 6 Steps to Clarity here!

Web | More Posts

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post Moving Through Grief: I’m Strong Because I Feel It All appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/moving-through-grief-im-strong-because-i-feel-it-all/

[whatisntgrace]

Emoji Asks

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone? i dont really have any that ive never told anyone ?

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be? my damn self. that bitch deserves a hug

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why? Raikou ultimately, because the uniqueness and individuality it embodies. Sylveon for mostly same reasons

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like? gay probably

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had? i havent dreamt recently enough for me to remember anything

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend? she’s always willing to support me and give me answers 

😘 talk about your crush or partner: pass lol

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back? only if they were someone in which deserved it ?? 

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!): my style, my individuality, and my so-called “evolved” mentality

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it? rejection and abandonment, and as i went through it recently, i overcome it by occupying myself with things that make me feel like im a valuable, worthwhile human being

🎁 what never fails to make you happy? listening to music i like or online shopping/browsing 

💙 what annoys you about some people? incompetence or inability to work well with others despite differences

😤 do you get angry easily? if youre someone i value then no but if youre someone i rarely talk to or dont know that well then yeah

🐇 what do you always daydream about? myself in the future, who i’ll be with and what i’ll be doing, whether im successful or not

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?  overall disputes with views on current issues, more quiet places, less stealing and robbery

✈️ what is your dream city and why? San Francisco or Los Angeles, mostly because every time I’ve visited each I feel a connection with the atmosphere there

☕️ talk about your ideal day: waking up at 7am, taking a shower, grabbing starbucks, drawing something amazing, watching a favorite movie, going shopping with my friends, and going to bed with comfy fluffy blankets

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert? ambivery but i lean towards extrovery mostly because im not too shy around anyone anymore

💧 when was the last time you cried? yesterday bc my stepmom stole 60$ from me (:

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment: Rooting for My Baby- Miley Cyrus, Dirty Sexy Money- The Struts, You Have a Hold on My Heat- RVR, and That’s What I Like- Bruno Mars

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why? shape-shifting, because i find it interesting how you could be multiple things and change into others at will

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COME TO TERMS WITH YOUR SEXUALITY

💚 who are you jealous of and why? anyone who has rly good makeup and a lot of it because... pls

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why? bravery, because thats something id say i lack a lot and probably wouldve helped me in the past 

🙊 what are you ashamed of? my family 

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn? i know english and spanish but learning french sounds ight

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be? Augustus Waters mostly bc he seemed so awesome to be around and just an overall good influence on mood

☁️ talk about your dream universe. basically something aesthetically out of vaporwave that sounds so cool ( i hate vaporwave music though please spare me)

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?  i cleaned my house so there u go 

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why? a rly fat orange cat, bc i love orange cats and being a fat lazy cat just sounds so awesome. no responsibilities (,:

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike: i fucking HATE when people think they can walk all over me or just say something to get me to shut up. like, honestly im stronger than that

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately: my future, even though i daydream about it a lot it scares me to think it could all be something i never wanted or not something that will help me achieve my dream

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now? i wanted to be a teacher up until middle school, but now i want to be some sort of artist (maybe work for cartoon network or produce designs for cartoon characters?)

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods? i LOVE ice cream and chocolate covered pretzels. lollipops too 

🍑 what are you obsessed with? The Weeknd and what whole dark glowy aesthetic, but also the rosy, gold aesthetic. I also love sailor moon and some animes

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed? i break down almost? not that badly, but i fear that ill never get the work done or what i have to do is too overwhelming 

😪 what are you sick of? being treated like nothing less than shit by my own family

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker? in some ways yes but i wouldnt do certain things to feel adrenaline (sky diving, bungee jumping, rollercoasters)

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have? i like miley cyrus’ new music (some-most of it), cold is better than warm, ugly, conceptual art is better than pretty, flat art

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person? in most aspects yes, but i do see myself become a bad person at times 

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies? i mostly draw i guess

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself? i dont believe you by p!nk

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it? i am the WORST at explaining or venting my feelings, mostly because theyre just hard to describe and when i do i feel them so strongly theres nothing to do but feel them rather than talk about them

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored? eyes and little cats or characters

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams? the fear of ruining my school career 

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you? enfp????? i think it perfectly describes me because im extroverted and feeling as heck

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why? Dakota Blue Richards (shes beautiful and just all around a great person id like her to b my gf), Abel Tesfaye (The Weeknd, he’s such an awesome person and he makes even better music)

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person? ABSOLUTELY. i get super happy then super sad and i always am sympathetic and empathetic, i dont cry at movies/books tho ?

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help? i listen to sad music when im sad, and if i find a song that i actually like ill start listening to songs i like and i usually feel better

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad? that better things will come and that im a person that is so different from anyone else 

🌍 which country do you live in? america 

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words: emotional, generous, creative

💭 do you keep a diary? i did when i was younger but i feel like i should

💫 who inspires you? my friends 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why? i somewhat do but not the possess, evil type. just roamin in the afterlife ??

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like? i dont have any specific taste but i do like color blocking and windbreakers, along w embroidered pants and boots

🎬 what are some of your favourite films? Big Eyes, Kill Bill Vol. 1+2, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and Burlesque 

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory? my dad taking me to preschool one day and i had headphones on watching spongebob and i had a hot chocolate in my carseat cupholder. the life tbh

🐱 what’s your dream pet like? a big fat cat that just lays with me and is basically my partner in crime, or a huge dog that is playful and also fluffy

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be? Nicki Minaj because I bet she’s so good to be around