#HEIZOU WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME SO

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

abyway fucking devastated why is heizou on miko and childes banner sobbing crying killing biting

[thatdeadaquarius]

Theres a lot of cuss words in this one so be warned lol

Bro i just had this-- insane fucking idea when i saw your "flowery words" post and i just-- omg I just had to shareee

So reader right? Very blunt, straight to the point sentences that dont dance around the bushes for 6 hours trying to tell you "oh no your house is on fire" or something, yeah? Well-- what if it turns the OPPOSITE when they start to SWEAR--

Because like-- i know myself. Me and like, so many people i know speak like that (blunt and straight to the point) but like-- when i get even MILDLY inconvenienced, i will start swearing like i have a masters degree in cursing out you and your entire flippity flappity bloodline

So id imagine the contrast to be like--

Reader, chill: aether, we're supposed to be going that way, this is literally the wrong direction

Reader, stubbing their toe: oW FUCK SHIT TITS-- WHY HAVE THE GODS FORSAKEN ME SO-- I CAME OUT HERE, TO THIS POINT, TO THIS PLACE, HOPING AGAINST ALL HOPE AND DESPITE SIGNS AND PORTENDS SUGGESTING OTHERWISE THAT I MIGHT, SOMEHOW, FIND MYSELF HAVING A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE, AND YET, HERE I STAND, ALONE AGAINST THE WORLD, FEELING ASSAULTED, ATTACKED ON ALL FRONTS, NOT KNOWING MY ENEMY'S NAME NOR HIS FACE NOR WHETHER OUR BATTLE IS DONE--

(Yes this is the "i came out here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn" post)

I can just imagjne the sHEER WHIPLASH-- like, this dude has been speaking in the "divine tongue" or whatever and then suddenly theyre immediately reverted to their "lowly mortal jargon" or something-- AHAHA

Or like-- if it just turns into a reeeeeally long string of curse words, everyone would probably be so scandalized or something lolllll

YES YESS PSPSPSPSPSPSSS COME TO ME ASKS, COME TO MY INBOX COME ! !

Anyway, with our sponsor's message out of the way,

Bless you for this 🙏 my pets are fed, my crops are watered, my skin is clear

✨️This is gorgeous, just a gorgeous idea ✨️

I LIVE for Teyvat being scandalized maidens from the Victorian era, gOD BLESS ITD BE WONDERFUL

Like our modern music?? Absolutely would give heart attacks, not even the most stoic of them would escape the blush

Esp with cussing pretty please i wish i could see the looks on their faces, they'd also probably blush at how creative it can get lmao

(daresay, maybe even impressed?)

oh the whiplash, its be so funny, every time. No one can keep up with you, you've got Teyvat linguists stumbling, the older beings cant understand you sometimes, the newer ones only understand you SOME of the time, and apparently most often? Only when you're cursing??

(I think various characters would find an ancient deity only deigning to speak their lang. when they gotta cuss smth out the funniest shit ever, like Venti, Itto, Cyno?, Diona, Hu Tao, Kaeya, maybe Kazuha, Lisa, Nahida probably would get a giggle, Rosaria, Heizou, Childe, Tighnari might like, be trying desperately to hold back a laugh but it's not working, Scaramouche/Wanderer, Xingqiu, Yae Miko would def commission a light novel for this, and Yelan - im so sorry i listed who exactly, this is so long ill stop, i just thought someone would like to see it 😭😭)

(I CAME OUT HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND IM HONESTLY FEELING SO ATTACKED RN LMAO U MADE IT SO LONG AND FLUFFY THAT WAS PERFECT)

THANK YOU!! FOR THE ASK!! WHAT A LOVELY TIME!! COME BACK AGAIN!! WHENEVER!! :DD!!

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘